#bonus if it's Alastor x Lucifer x Lilith so she's involved too

[starryeyeddreamer21]

Yeah I'll say it... I need Lucifer to fuck around with apples more

I know in a lot of fanfics he does already do that but it's not enough for me it will never be enough because if I don't have religious symbolism I have nothing at all

I want it to be funny too like it's good and all if its a sex thing but what if I want him to give people he likes apples the same way cats bring home dead animals

I also want him to throw apples at people he likes

Charlie: He likes you

Alastor: *holding an ice pack to his eye because he was just knocked tf out with a rogue apple* WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT

Charlie: *flashback to when Lucifer would toss apples at her and Lilith vs flashback to 15 minutes ago when Lucifer full on chucked an apple straight at Alastors face*

Charlie: Oh yeah he REALLY likes you

Plus more radioapple... Y'know those videos that have someone chopping up certain vegetables aggressively in front of their bf or whatever? I always thought those were stupid but that with Alastor aggressively cutting up an apple is hilarious to me

I need to write a dumb little one shot about Alastor and Lucifer by an apple tree don't I? I need snake Lucifer to give him an apple and Alastor to just have to live with this.