#boil em mash em stick em in a steew

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Potato Recipe

If you’re reading this and you found this untagged, you’ve seen enough of my blog to reach a Hidden Easter Egg! hehe. Thank you for looking! I really appreciate it :3 Now, this is not just A potato recipe. This is THE potato recipe. I have experimented... With family secrets... With friendly advice. I have created it. The recipe that’ll keep you coming back for more with all the other hoes at the PTA meeting being like “What the fuck did you put on these” I’ll Tell you. Mother Fucking Garlic Butter. But we’re not gonna be conservative with this and we’re not gonna mash it in either. This is Different. First, preheat your oven to 180 degrees Celsius. I dunno what that is in fahrenheit but she’ll be right champ. Put a lightly oiled (Or if you want to be the real bees knees. Make garlic butter and baste that shit in the entire bottom. You’ll thank me later. If you like garlic of course. Maybe don’t make this if you’re like allergic to garlic?? skjdfhdskjhf) Anyway. Once the baking tin is lubed, put that shit back in the oven and turn on the stove. Use your favourite element. Preferrably Fire, for cooking. You can’t cook with earthksdjfhs ok anyway You smack that element up on high heat, and fill a pot with water. It doesn’t matter if the water’s warm or cold or not but the fam does it cold so thats whati use. Peel and cut as many potatoes that will fit in the pot, or however many you feel like. I find that cutting them in half across the middle, and then each half into quarters makes my ideal crisp to stuffing ratio. But we’re not gonna stop there. Boil those bitches to the boil. Lid on. Hell yeah. Once they’re at a pretty steady rolling boil, turn the heat completely off, and leave them to cook for a couple of minutes. ~2. THEN and here is the secret. Drain the fucking water, but keep em in the pot. Add a generous amount of Salt and Pepper, enough to cover the outside of every potato. Gotta season em. And here’s the secret. Semolina powder. You should be able to find it in a supermarket or specialty shop. It’s an ingredient in some pastas it’s just a type of italian grain. Take like a half teaspoon/teaspoon of that, sprinkle it around with the salt and pepper, then put the lid back on the pot they’re all in. Hold it steady, and SMASH THEM AROUND IN THERE. REALLY JUST SHAKE IT UP LIKE ITS A FUCKED UP LITTLE METAL MARACCA, AND YOU’RE A MARIACHI GUY WHO’S ON NO SLEEP, NO PAY, AND WHOS PLAYING NEXT TO THE GUITAR GUY WHOS FUCKING YOUR WIFE AND YOU KNOW THAT BUT HE DOESNT KNOW KNOW THAT YOU KNOW THAT AND now that you’ve indulged in that fantasy, you should have shaken them for enough time, and with enough rigor, to be able to create a sort of puffy edge to the taties, as well as dispersing the seasonings. Excellent work! I’m proud of you ::3 After that, carefully remove the baking dish you’ve pre-prepared. Please don’t burn yourself! I care about you, kindly internet person. Not only for reading my blog, but for reading this mess! I didn’t even list the ingredients up the top! What am I some kind of 15th century manuscript writer? hehe. So just dump the potatoes in there, if you want to be extra fancy give them a light dusting of the garlic butter, but it probably won’t be very wieldy yet, so it’s fine to skip that step. Now just pop em back in the oven, and after 20-30 minutes of baking, give them all a flip and pop em back in again. After another 20-30 minutes, they should have done cooking. But weary traveller, do not imagine they are Ready. Take the baking dish out, and whilst they’re all beautiful and crispy and craggly and golden, Spread. the Butter. A Lot of Garlic Butter. On all surfaces of each potato, with each being christened like you’re anointing them to be the next monarch. They’re fine on their own, but go great with others. Just like extroverts hskjdf Serve with extra garlic butter, a sprinkling of herbs, or just by themselves. And I assure you, anyone who tries them will be like “what the fuck did you put on these” hehe. Alternatively you could baste them in butter after they’ve come out of the pot, but pre-cooking. It doesn’t really do a whole lot though imo but. There you go! Ok thank you for reading godspeed