#body is filled with adrenaline or something and i am hyperly aware of every step or voice i hear | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

loving-like-a-dog · 5 months ago

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TW Vent (Family issues, relationship issues, low self esteem and suicidal thoughts... Kinda?)

No but like why am I actually the most unlovable and worthless person alive?

My stepdad tells me right to my face that I am his problem(among others things), my mother turning an blind eye on everything and my boyfriend hangs up mid conversation and doesn't know why he came together with me in the first place...

My father was right when I was 12, it's no wonder everyone leaves me.

I probably would leave myself too if I was dating me.

Why is it so hard to love me?

I just want someone to be there for me but I am being ignored or pushed away by everyone in my life...

Don't worry, as soon as I move out I won't bother anyone.... Ever again.... I am sick of feeling like the worst person alive and sick of always trying my best to deescalate and solve everything when others just... I don't even know.

I just feel like everything I do or try isn't doing shit. And I try so hard to be understanding when being disrespected and told aweful things but I seriously don't know for how long I can keep this up.

This is so exhausting, why do I have to take everyone's shit?

But then again when everyone has a problem with me and not just one person then maybe the problem is actually me... So maybe I should just disappear and leave everyone alone.

I just feel like shutting off completely but do I even deserve to be alive when no one actually loves me?

#bpd vent #vent post #vent #voids thoughts for the void #i have a test tomorrow and i really dont know how to go throug that with everything else going on #i literally do not feel save at home. i store my food in my food so i don't have to go outside for that. everytime i am outside my room my #body is filled with adrenaline or something and i am hyperly aware of every step or voice i hear #i told my boyfriend that i dont know how i would survive this if he wasnt there for me and now he doesn't want to talk woth me or anything #i guess i am truely doomed #family issues #relationship issues #bpd yandere #actually bpd #bpd #honestly i would need a really good beating right now. from my stepdad or my boyfriend.#i want to feel on the outside how i feel on the inside

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