#bmwincorrectquotes

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Some guy: hey Topanga, you look nice today

Shawn, aggressively pushing the guy away: Hey Topanga, Cory thinks you look nice EVERYDAY

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Chet Hunter: I mean, you’re like a son to me

Shawn: I don’t mean to scare you, but I am your son

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Cory: there’s only one thing worse than dying

Cory: *rips paper to reveal the words ‘Shawn dying’* Boom

Shawn, nodding: Myself

Cory: NO

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Jack, trying to get to know Shawn: so… when’s your birthday?

Shawn: why? So you can look up my natal chart? So you can figure out my weaknesses? So you can destroy me?

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Virna Hunter: I don’t remember raising you this way

Shawn: I don’t remember you raising me at all

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Topanga: We tried things your way, boys

Shawn and Cory: No, we didn’t

Topanga: We did it in my head and it didn’t work

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Cory: oh, I can’t move cause Shawn fell asleep on me

Rachel: wake him up?

Cory: *enraged and offended*

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Shawn: Am I in trouble?

John: Take a guess

Shawn: No?

John: Take another guess

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Cory: do you guys think I complain too much?

Angela, walking into the room: what is Cory bitching about now?

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Shawn: *is sad*

Cory: *waking up in cold sweat in the middle of the night* Something is wrong

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Shawn: I’m playing a new drinking game. It’s called “every time I get depressed I take a shot”

Jack: that game exists and it’s called alcoholism

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Rachel: Cory, tell us a secret

Cory: Fine. I’m in love with Shawn.

Angela: she said a secret, dumbass

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Shawn: I trust Cory

Topanga: you think he knows what he’s doing?

Shawn: I wouldn’t go that far

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Shawn: Okay but do you like me or do you like me like me?

Angela, literally on the altar: take a wild fucking guess

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Eric: If I ever let anything happen to Shawn, I wouldn’t be able to live with myself

Cory: You wouldn’t have to. I would kill you.

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Alan: *teaching Cory how to drive* okay, you’re driving when suddenly Shawn and Topanga walk into the road. quick, what do you hit?

Cory: hmm. that’s a tough one. on one hand, Topanga is my girlfriend, but on the other hand, I could never hurt Shawn

Alan:

Alan: the brakes, son. you hit the brakes.