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thebigqueer · 3 years ago

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"Together" - Leo Valdez & Piper McLean

Summary: Leo confesses to Piper that he loves Jason.

Word Count: 2294

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The wind brushes through Piper’s hair as she and Leo descend down to her new house. They’ve been running through the sky the past few days trying to move equipment around since she’s moved, and so far it’s been pretty good. Leo promised to stay a few days before heading back to his new place at the Waystation, and Piper’s found that she’s grateful for his presence.

It’s just been one new change after another. First the announcement of her move, then Jason’s death, and now suddenly Leo’s alive.

It’s almost funny, to say the least. Leo’s life for Jason’s. It makes her think about the prophecy of the seven…

No, she thinks. You’ve already thought too much about Jason. Just enjoy this time with Leo. He’s going to leave tomorrow and it’s better to let him have your attention.

Piper rocks back and forth as Festus touches the ground. A rumble echoes across the grass as he does. For a few moments, she and Leo simply sit there, her arms wrapped around his warm torso and his curls brushing against the tip of her nose as a soft breeze flows between them.

The sun spills in gold and orange rays across Piper’s new backyard. Green grass burns in the light. A sweet smell surrounds the two as they balance over Festus’ back.

Then Leo shudders. It’s a quick and sudden motion that takes Piper by surprise. He shakes against her, his shoulders shivering in the warm spring air, and he jumps to the ground. His body crumples in on itself as he thuds to the green expanse below them.

“Leo?” Piper asks with surprise. She jumps off the back of the dragon and lands gently by her friend’s side. “Oh, gods, are you alright?”

But Leo barely hears her over his own intrusive voices.

It’s too much. It’s all too much.

How can he be here just as everything is turning to shit? How can he be here, with Jason’s ex-girlfriend, and help her move in like nothing’s wrong in the world?

How can they just forget about Jason so easily?

Sobs rack Leo’s body as he cripples into himself. Tears prickle in his eyes and force shimmering cracks across his face. Painful anguish presses against his chest, billows up to his throat, and sob after sob, tear after tear, he’s letting himself go a little more, letting himself drown in his sorrow.

He barely acknowledges Piper’s gentle hand on his back, barely acknowledges her presence. The world around him swirls and spins, twists under his feet, and he’s hanging on by a bare thread.

He should never have left. He shouldn’t have run away like that.

He shouldn’t have turned from his fears of rejection just to save some girl.

On the inside, Leo knows Calypso isn’t just “some girl.” He knows he helped her achieve a life she never could have had on Ogygia. But nonetheless, a large part of him wonders “what if.” What if he’d never left? What if he’d stayed? What if he’d… he’d confessed to Jason what he really felt?

But now it’s too late, isn’t it? He let Jason slip away. He let all his courage build up for nothing.

He came back in the hopes that he could finally tell Jason what he’d been feeling for so long. Only to find that, in the end, Jason wasn’t even here.

He was dead.

Leo’s body continues thundering with grief and sorrow. He’s cracking from within, letting his emotions spill out, and there’s no mending him. Not after all that he’s gone through.

Distantly, Piper’s voice hums in his ears. Her gentle fingers glide over his back in a comforting manner, but Leo can barely register her caress and kindness. He’s lost. He’s never coming back.

“Leo,” Piper murmurs, her voice as soft as her touch, “it’s alright. You can let it out.”

At her words, a flame bursts in Leo. Rage and jealousy, irritation and frustration crawl up his throat and he turns on Piper, eyes burning with something desperate and vulnerable. Tears continue trailing across his face, and for once, Piper notices how broken and cracked he looks.

He’s not the same Leo she remembers him being. He’s something else.

“No,” he croaks, voice choked with tears and desperation. “No, I can’t let it out. Not anymore.”

Piper frowns. “What does that mean?”

Leo crawls away from her as another burst of raging flames erupts in his core. How can she be so oblivious? How can she be so dumb? How can she see him breaking like this and not understand what it’s about?

When he speaks, Leo’s voice carries through the warm spring air like icicles; they pierce Piper’s bare arms like shrapnel.

“I can’t say anything anymore,” he mutters, his voice as sharp as shards of glass against the daughter of Aphrodite’s ears. “He’s dead. And I wasn’t here for it. He’s never going to know.” Leo’s chest heaves as he takes each cold, sharp breath in. “He’s never going to know now.”

Dread pools in Piper’s blood as she stares at Leo, at this new monster appearing before her. Leo’s turning to the darkness; he’s standing on the brink of insanity. His eyes shimmer with tears and madness, with secrets and desperation.

“Know what?” she whispers. She tries to lean in, to offer support to Leo in the darkness, but he pulls away and stumbles to his feet, his chest still expanding with each breath he takes.

Leo watches Piper. Confusion flickers across her face, and at the sight of her, his heart skips a beat. Piper is beautiful. She’s perfect.

She’s everything Jason would love.

She’s everything Leo could never be.

He knows it’s not fair. He knows he shouldn’t be angry at her. But even then, as he stares at her, watches her eyes flicker with sympathy, glances at her trembling mouth, gazes at her deep, kind dark eyes, only rage consumes him. It billows hotly from his core and flows up to his throat, expands through his body, and he’s turning to fire, turning to rage, turning to anguish and guilt and pain.

He needs to tell her. He can’t hold this parasite in himself anymore.

A sob breaks loose from his chest, cracks in the air, and he tilts his head to Piper. “Tell me,” he whispers, “how… how did you feel about him?”

“About Jason?” she asks. “I… I cared a lot about him, Leo. We all did. He was one of my bestest friends.” A tear glimmers against her eye like crystal, and again a hot fire of rage blooms in Leo’s chest. It doesn’t matter what Piper does; she’s always so beautiful, always so desirable.

Why couldn’t he ever be that desirable?

“What is this?” she asks desperately. “What’s wrong, Leo? You can tell me.”

The world around him turns red and angry. The ground beneath his feet trembles with rage, and he has to press his nails to his palms to stop himself from combusting on the spot. “No,” he mutters. “No, Piper, you need to tell me. Did you… How much did you love him? I can’t tell you anything before you tell me the truth.”

Piper’s lips press tightly together. Between the two of them, the grass burns brightly. Coldness encompasses them in vulnerability. Tension seizes the air, grips their throats, squeezes the truth into existence.

“I loved him as we all did,” she murmurs. “If you mean romantically, though… We broke up.” Piper tilts her head away timidly, almost as if in shame. “We weren’t working out. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you earlier.”

Leo blinks in surprise. Suddenly all the rage dissipates; the angry fire in his chest simmers to a low sizzle. Tears cloud his vision, but they don’t feel as hot or angry as they were just moments ago.

His fingers loosen at his sides. His muscles lose their grip.

“You… you broke up?” he whispers.

Piper offers a firm nod. “I don’t think we ever felt anything for each other, honestly. I think it was just more of a… a mutual desire for something. You know? We wanted something in the heat of the moment. I think we had something when the world around us was going to chaos, but when it wasn’t burning in flames… suddenly our own relationship wasn’t burning anymore. It got boring. I lost myself. He didn’t know who he was outside of insanity. We broke up.”

Guilt seizes Leo’s heart like a vice. Two shameful tears trickle from his dark eyes and burst against the ground, glimmering in the sunlight. “Piper,” he mutters. “I- I’m sorry. I had no idea.”

She shakes her head and offers a small, sad, knowing smile. “It’s okay, Leo. It was better for both of us. I wasn’t satisfied and neither was he. I’m just glad he… he went happier than he was when he was with me.”

And that’s all it takes for Leo to crumble again. A single sob explodes from his chest, then another sob, and another, until he’s choking on his own tears, until he’s hissing at the salt against his cuts, until he’s crumbling, breaking, slipping through his own hands.

Piper stands suddenly, her comforting arms reaching out. “Leo,” she mutters, almost like a promise. All of a sudden, the son of Hephaestus overwhelmed with the scent of roses, with the warm embrace of Piper’s arms, with the tickle of her hair against his face. His sobs only echo louder and louder against her and he has to wrap his own arms around her waist to get a grip on the world.

“I’m such a fool, Piper,” he mutters through sobs. “I… I…”

Her warm arms press against his back supportingly. “You can tell me,” she whispers. “I’m not going to judge you.”

Leo dips his head against her neck, if only to look for refuge from the impending shame.

“Piper,” he whispers. “Piper, I’m so stupid. I… I loved him, okay? I loved him a lot. I loved him more than I could ever say.”

Piper stills underneath his weight, and for a second Leo considers if he’s royally fucked everything up. What if he’s just lost the one friend he’s got left?

“Love…,” she murmurs. “As in… more than a friend.”

Leo loosens his grip against her waist in an anxious haste. “Yes,” he agrees. His heart swells as he admits it.

He’s kept that in for too long. He’s spent too much time watching Jason in all his glory, spent too much time being jealous over Piper.

Admitting this to himself… it feels like a promise. It feels like a relief.

Piper moves her arms from Leo’s back and presses them against his shoulders. She tilts her head away and stares him in the eyes, her own dark ones absorbing themselves into Leo’s. His breath hitches as he stares at her, trying to gauge her reaction.

“Leo…,” she murmurs. “Oh, gods, I had no idea. I- I’m so sorry. I didn’t know you felt that way about him.”

Leo’s lip trembles as another quake of sobs threaten to break loose. “It’s okay,” he mutters through a thick voice. “You didn’t know. I could barely understand it myself when… when we were on the ship. It’s not your fault, Piper.”

Piper shakes her head and, to Leo’s surprise, a few tears glimmer in her eyes and slip down her own cheeks. She presses her fingers to Leo’s cheek and holds her face against his neck. “No, Leo, I’m so sorry. I just… I can’t imagine it must have been easy for you to… to see us like that. I just… I don’t… I’m sorry, okay? I’m so sorry I had to make you see that.”

“Piper, it’s not your fault,” Leo promises. “I was just struggling with internal things and… and I didn’t know how to cope. You didn’t know, either. It’s not your fault for being happy during that time. Don’t blame yourself.”

Piper pulls her face away from Leo’s and shakes her head. Her nose twitches as she sniffs and her mouth trembles as she tries to hold back another sob. “No,” she murmurs. “It’s just… I don’t blame myself for that. But you… you deserved to see him one more time. You deserved to let him know. And you didn’t get that. Leo, I’m so, so sorry.” Her thumb grazes the side of his face, tangles into his curls. Leo leans into her touch.

“But, Leo,” she continues, “just know… I’m so glad you told me. Jason may not be alive anymore, but just know that… he’s just as proud of you. We both love you so much, okay? Telling me something like this… it has to be one of the bravest things I’ve ever seen.” She presses a kiss to his forehead. “I love you. I wish… I wish you could have seen him one last time, Leo. You deserve that much.”

“Piper…,” he whispers, but his voice is stolen as another sob takes a hold of him. Before he can say much more, Piper throws herself into his embrace; they’re holding one another as the world around them continues moving, continues glowing, continues living. They crumble to the ground and hold each other as the pain moves through their bodies, as the sorrow spills out into the world and turns the air to ice, as the truth embraces them in its truest form.

“I missed you,” she whispers. “Jason may be dead, but I’m glad you aren’t, Leo. We’ll get through this together, okay? We always have. I won’t stop now.”

“Together,” he promises, his voice ringing in Piper’s ears. “We’ll get through this together.”

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