#blossom is my fave thing I’ve ever written and I was already emotional about the anniversary but NOW

[quinn-of-aebradore]

have realized that finally getting to see the wizard house has coincided with the year anniversary of me completing of blossoming hearts and glittering souls (my shadowgast wedding domestic fluff behemoth) and oh I am having Feelings about it 🥺

[ciarawritesmarvel]

number five - steve rogers x reader

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader

Word Count: 2.8k

Warnings: A lot of language, I’m sorry, it just really fit with the character I was writing! Also, pregnancy ands kids and all that with some fluffity Steve

A/N: This is my entry for @teamcap4bucky‘s 2K Celebration! Congrats on 2K lovely, you absolutely deserve it and seem like a wonderful person! I had a lot of fun writing this, as I don’t often write about our faves having kids...couldn’t help myself this time though. And don’t forget, on Wednesday we begin Hello Spring! Anyway, without further ado...

Prompt: “Turn around for me baby, I want to see you.”

masterlist is in my bio and tags will be in a reblog...enjoy!

---

“Keep that man away from me!” you shout, storming off the quinjet with purposeful steps into the compound.

“Sweetheart, please!” Steve called out to you, a desperate note in his voice that tugged at your heart strings and would have sent you back into his arms had your mind not been swirling. Instead, you ignored him and continued the way you were going, getting inside, rounding the corner and putting as much distance between you and the bastard as possible.

As soon as you were well away from him you stopped walking and let out a guttural screech, punching the wall before you knew what you were doing. You’d hardly punched it hard, your self-preservation instincts kicking in to stop you but the sting in your knuckles stopped you from doing it again, even if you really, really wanted to. You let out a shaky exhale, closing your eyes as you leant your head against the wall, your body giving in to the exhaustion as all the adrenaline leaked out of your body.

“Y/N?”

The voice behind you put you back on edge, but the fact that it wasn’t Steve’s at least meant you weren’t going to run away. You turned your head, still leaving it against the wall and looked at the intruder on your private moment. “What do you want, Romanoff?”

“Just checking on you,” she walked over with her hands held up in surrender, coming to stand next to you against the wall. She stared at the wall opposite as she spoke, “Any reason you’re more pissed than I’ve ever seen you and punching the walls of the compound corridor?”

You groaned, clutching your hand and closing your eyes, tilting your head to the ceiling as you breathed deeply.

“My husband,” you began, not even being able to bring yourself to say his name, “Has done something unspeakable. Unforgivable.” Nat quickly looked at you instead of the opposite wall, surprise written all over her face.

“Are you being serious right now? I can’t tell if you’re-”

“Do I look like I’m joking, Natasha?” you cut through her words and she pressed her lips together. You could tell she was trying to stop herself, but it didn’t last long.

“What’s he done?”

Another groan from you. Whether it was the pain of your hand or the pain of the question, Nat wasn’t sure.

“Don’t ask.”

“I kinda feel like I already have,” Nat murmured and you opened your eyes just to glare at her. You sighed. You hadn’t wanted this to go this way at all.

“Okay,” you conceded, “So you know how we were separated during the mission? All on different sides of the building, when comms were down-”

“You saw Steve and Bucky kiss?!” Nat interrupted and you balked. She had always thought they would go for each other, but that view was not at all helpful right at that moment. Or ever, really, seeing as you and Steve had been married for 6 years.

“No! Why is that always your go-to? Would you let me finish? I was just about to enter the building, gun cocked and foot poised to kick down the door when-”

“When what!”

“When I threw up, Nat. I threw up!”

Nat’s brow furrowed of its own accord. You stood and waited with an unamused expression on your face as you waited for her to catch on. It took a few seconds, but soon her face was opening up in understanding, her mouth forming an ‘o’ as she worked it out. “No…”

“Yes. He’s gotten me pregnant. Again!” you covered your mouth as your words sank in, “Oh my god!” you exclaimed, throwing your hands in the air and pushing yourself away from the wall.

“Okay, stay calm, it’ll-”

“Stay calm? Stay fucking calm? Nat, I’ve got four kids. That’s more than enough. I mean three of those four were mistakes, for fuck’s sake!”

Nat raised a brow at you.

“Mistakes that I treasure more than anything, of course,” you said, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. To you it was, of course. Your kids were the best things in your life, even if you hadn’t been intending to have four. Five, you reminded yourself. You were going to have five kids. You basically already did. Your hand came up to rub your stomach absentmindedly.

“I think you’re happy about this,” Nat deduced suddenly and you looked at her, with a clearly false look of disgust on your face.

“That’s absurd…”

“No, it isn’t. You’re happy about having five kids and you’re terrified that Steve won’t be. That’s why you were so angry with him. He doesn’t even know yet, does he?”

You stared down at the floor.

“...he thinks I’m angry because he accidentally threw his shield vaguely near me during the fight.”

“Oh Y/N,” Nat sighed and you wondered when the two of you had started pacing up and down the corridor.

“I mean, it wasn’t even that near me, I just panicked when he started talking to me on the flight back so I used that as an excuse to be mad.”

“Oh, Y/N!”

“Would you stop acting like a disapproving aunt for two seconds!” you took Nat by the shoulders as you spoke loudly and the two of you stopped your pacing. A few seconds went by as you stared at each other.

“You’re pregnant,” Nat whispered, the hints of a smile just beginning to blossom on her face and you couldn’t help but give in, a grin overtaking your face as you pulled her in for a tight hug, wrapping your arms around her shoulders.

“I’m pregnant!” you whisper-shouted excitedly, feeling the tears building in your eyes as you stood swaying in other’s hug.

“Shut up! You’re pregnant?” came a sudden extra voice in the corridor and your eyes widened as you turned your head in the hug to see the excitable puppy of Clint Barton sticking his head around the wall, eyes alight with joy. You pushed out of the hug.

“Nat fill him in, would you? I need to find Steve!�� you were already running down the corridor, planting a quick kiss on Clint’s cheek and calling out again, “And don’t tell anyone!”

---

You found him in your shared mission room, standing at his wardrobe, staring into space. He’d changed out of mission gear, instead in jeans and a button up but he was wringing his hands together, anything but relaxed. It was his typical worried pose. You frowned. You’d been so unfair; just because you’d panicked in the moment didn’t mean he deserved such harshness, such cold looks and words. The guilt weighed heavy on top of you and you felt the tears prick your eyes again. The hormones had arrived already, you noted.

Without much thought, you strode over to your husband and wrapped your arms around his middle from behind, squeezing tight, resting your cheek on the muscles of his back and squishing into him. You winced when he tensed in your grip but relaxed when he did, feeling him melt into your arms, his hands resting on your own.

“I’m so so sorry, honey,” you whispered, pressing a kiss to his back through the fabric of his shirt, “I was such a bitch.”

“You’re never a bitch,” Steve assured you firmly and you smiled at the protectiveness in his voice, “But you did have me worried.”

His admission made your heart sink.

“I know, and I have no excuse.”

“I’m really sorry for throwing my shield near-” Steve began but you squeezed him impossibly tighter as you interrupted.

“Oh god, please don’t apologise! Your shield was nowhere near me and you damn well know it!”

He chuckled and you felt the vibrations run right from the top of your head to the tips of your toes. You leaned upwards and pressed another kiss, this time to the nape of his neck. His arms wrapped more firmly around your own.

“Well, I was pretty sure it was nowhere near you,” he said between chuckles, but once his laughter died down his tone became more serious, “Is there something else wrong, sweetheart? Not like you to snap for no reason.”

You steadied yourself. This was it. No time like the present.

“Turn around for me baby, I want to see you,” you said softly and Steve was quick to turn, your arms falling from him. The concern in his eyes was palpable.

“That sounds serious,” he said, half-jokingly but all jokes fell away from his expression when you just gave him a watery smile. He took your hands in his, “Okay, you’re scaring me.”

“Don’t be scared,” you reassured him, rubbing circles into his knuckles with the pads of thumbs, either to ground him or yourself, you weren’t sure, “I mean maybe be a little scared. But not too much. Or maybe not at all, it just depends-”

“Y/N.”

You took a breath.

“I threw up, on the mission.”

A pause. A long, lengthy, heart-wrenching pause.

“But you never throw up.”

Steve’s voice was barely there and you could tell he’d worked it out. He was slightly quicker on the uptake that Nat was on things such as these. Emotional matters. Still, he seemed in disbelief.

“I never throw up,” you agreed, “Other than when I’m…”

You trailed off, unable to quite finish your sentence as you felt the tears yet again, knowing that crying was a surefire sign too. As a pretty enhanced human being, throwing up was not a regular occurrence for you but for some reason, when pregnant, you threw up whenever and wherever you were, especially in the first trimester. So you didn’t even need to take a test. You knew.

Steve’s face was a picture, one that you wanted committed to your memory for the rest of your life and beyond. Tears welled in his eyes, grin splitting his face in half. He moved his hand, still holding yours, so that both of your hands were resting against your stomach. Your tears began to fall. It was all so surreal.

“You’re pregnant, doll?”

You nodded happily, a little burst of a giggle set free and Steve joined in the sound, laughing as he swept you up into an embrace, lifting you off the ground and into his arms. Your hands flew to his neck to keep steady, still giggling, legs flailing about above the ground. He places you down carefully, like you’re fragile, could break any moment. Hands find their way to your hair, cup your face lightly, hold you so that your foreheads rest together.

He leans in and steals a kiss, followed by another before he’s quickly kissing your whole face, forehead, nose, cheeks, lips, kissing your tears away and kissing the corners of your grin.

“I take it you’re not mad, then,” you concluded and Steve pulled back, looking at you agape.

“Mad? Why the hell would I be mad?”

He genuinely sounded puzzled and you felt stupid. Of course he wasn’t mad. You really were hormonal.

“I don’t know,” you admitted sheepishly, “I convinced myself earlier that you’d be mad or upset or something which is why I panicked when you came to talk on the jet and made up that shit about the shield.”

The pity came off him in waves and he tugged you in close again, hands rubbing shoulders, upper arms, shoulders again.

“Our family’s growing. That’s never going to be a bad thing,” he says succinctly, sure of himself and you’re sure too then. You believe him, trust him. And though you never planned on four, you couldn’t imagine it any other way. This would be exactly the same.

“I love you so much, Steve,” you said it as if it were a secret known only to the two of you, a special thing to be kept away, kept safe. He held your words to his heart.

“I love you too,” he replied, lungs all out of breath, “More than I can ever tell you.”

You stand for a few moments, basking in each other’s company, his hand and yours somehow weaving down to your stomach once again, yours resting atop his, fingers linked.

“It’s a girl,” you say certainly.

“Not this again!”

“I can feel it this time!”

“You could feel it last time,” he said, and though he might have sounded exasperated, you could tell by the glimmer in his eye that he wasn’t, not at all.

“How should we tell the others?” you asked, suddenly remembering that you’d have to break the news to your other kids, who you were 60% sure would be incredibly happy for you. Currently, they were deep in the left wing of the compound, far from the incoming/outgoing missions, business meetings and bloodied new recruits. The far left wing belonged solely to the Stark family and the Rogers family and was known as a strictly family friendly area, no mission gear allowed, no swearing, no shop talk. Tony, Steve and you took turns to go on missions when you were needed, so that there was always a grown up in charge. This time, with you and Steve required for a slightly more difficult raid, Tony was left with the six of them and you thanked your lucky stars that Pepper had been available too.

Apart from the fact that it was almost definite that Tony was teaching your kids how to make lasers or something right now. They always knew something new when you got back. Sometimes something good, sometimes something slightly worrying.

“Well, we took them to Disneyland for James, did the whole “What’s in the Box’ nonsense for Margie...what did we do for Alice again?”

“I think we just told Claudia that I was pregnant normally,” you answered, moving over to your wardrobe and changing out of your gear in record time, stepping into a cotton sundress perfect for the unexpected good spring weather, “I mean she was like two at the time.”

“Wasn’t that the most successful though? The box one was a disaster, you remember?”

“I remember,” you said grimly, shuddering as you thought about it, brushing your hair in the mirror and wiping any remaining dirt and blood from your face,  “Maybe we should just tell them.”

“What, now?”

“Well, no time like the present! I know you only really tell people at 12 weeks but that doesn’t count for family right?”

“Of course not! We’ll just tell the family for now, oh, I’m so excited!”

You bit your lip.

“Ah, well, if we’re just telling the kids then-”

“Who knows?” Steve asked suddenly, shaking his head at you fondly and you were just glad he wasn’t annoyed that you’d already told some people.

“Nat,” you admitted and Steve nodded as if that made sense, “And Clint, but that’s cause the little shit was eavesdropping.”

“Well that was on you, if you talk to Nat you know Clint’s listening, it’s how those two work. But I said we were telling family - that’s the kids and the others. They’re family, right?”

You grinned.

“Let’s go tell them!” you squealed excitedly, looking as if you’d never been on a mission in your life, rushing over and pulling on his hand as you began to skip out of the room, but his hand tugged you back and into his arms. One hand firmly on your back and the other holding your face, he dipped you and you yelped, but then he kissed you like he never had before and you lost yourself in him. Your own hand reached up into his hair and found its place on the back of his neck, the other holding onto his arm for dear life.

He pulled away slowly, guiding you back upright and keeping his hold, noticing your shaky legs with a smug grin.

“Now let’s go,” he muttered softly and you stared up to him wide-eyed, still in slight shock. His hand wound around your own as he pulled you with him and when you came to your senses once more, you caught up to him and swung your hands between you as you walked rather quickly down the corridor and towards the kids’ section of the compound.

“Where’d you learn to do that?” you murmured as you walked, trying to look as nonchalant as possible to people passing you.

“Watched a YouTube video,” he admitted, a cute blush spreading up his neck that made you sidle up closer to him, “I dropped Sam like fifteen times when we practiced.”

You held back a snort.

“You’re lucky we’ve got bigger things to do right now, Rogers, cause otherwise I’d be teasing your ass so hard right now.”

“I know, sweetheart. I know.”

[whitewolfofwinterfell]

I just finished season three myself and I absolutely fell in love with it. My fave show right now 😍 could you write up some meta on it?

Right, okay, I’m finally getting around to answering this, phew. Sorry it’s taken me so long but when you sent this I’d only seen the first two episodes of the show and so didn’t particularly feel I could write anything more than I already had in response to your first ask. However, I finished season 1 tonight and I have a lot of thoughts and feelings so I felt now was the right time to share them.

Wow, where do I even start with Outlander? It is nothing like I expected it to be, but then again I’m not really sure what I expected. It’s one of the only shows that I’ve gone into completely blind. I’d never seen gifs or videos of it here on Tumblr or any other social media platform. I can only recall seeing something about it once when one of my favourite YouTuber’s (Stephanie Lange) shared on her Instagram story that she was reading the books after watching the show and that they were some of the best books she’d ever read.

The first episode immediately hooked me in for all the reasons stated in my previous ask but after that there were moments where I was like, eh, I don’t know if this is for me. I wasn’t fully warming to the characters (except Jamie, of course) and it felt like the episodes started to follow the same formula of Claire being suspected and accused of being a spy and/or people generally treating her with distrust and then her getting kidnapped/attacked/sexually assaulted and Jamie coming to the rescue. The episode that changed that and the point in which I completely fell in love with the show was 1x07, ‘The Wedding’. Up until that point there were interactions between Jamie and Claire, but there were some episodes where there was only one or two and it didn’t feel like a central component of the show, but the second they got married and that relationship blossomed, I was completely invested. In the last episode of the season Claire tells Jamie that the only way she could make sense of everything that had happened to her in those 8 months since she’d arrived in 1743 is because it was all so they could be together. Essentially, she was saying that everything she’d suffered through, that they’d suffered through, was worth it to her because it was for them and their love. That’s exactly what it’s like for me. Although I enjoyed the show from the beginning, their love is the heart and soul of the show and the reason I’ve become so invested.

Jamie and Claire’s love story is honestly so beautiful. Bearing in mind, I’m still only on season 1 and there’s much more to come, but already it’s so profound and complex. The passion they have is so intense and so raw, and it’s played so well by Caitriona and Sam. In 1x11 when Claire has the choice to touch the stones at Craigh na Dun and return to her own time and her husband, logically she shouldn’t even hesitate to do it. In 1945 she’s safe, she’s familiar with the time period, she has family and friends, her husband and it’s technically where she belongs. There’s only one problem… Jamie is in 1743. When you see the love they have and the person Jamie is it’s easy to see why Claire chooses to remain in 1743 despite the fact that it’s an extremely dangerous place/time for her where she’s been in constant danger since she arrived. It’s that emotion of, “As long as I’m with him and we’re together, it doesn’t matter where I am” and I get it. What Outlander does so well (and I assume it’s the author of the books, Diana Gabaldon who is responsible for it) is make the viewers/readers fall in love with Jamie every bit as much as Claire. You’re not just an outsider looking in, you actually feel like you’re in that relationship with Claire and feeling everything she’s feeling. When Jamie is captured by the Red Coats at the end of the season and she finds out that he’s been sentenced to hang, she just collapses because she can’t bear the mere thought of it and you get it, because you’re right there with her. You feel the pain, the fear, the unthinkable grief of losing Jamie. And when they rescue him and she finds out that he’s suicidal, again, she faints because it’s too much for her to take and she tells him she will die with him right there in the room if he really wants to die. It seems so dramatic, but it’s completely believable and I commend everyone involved in bringing Jamie and Claire’s love to life, because it’s done so well.

Putting Jamie and Claire to one side, because I could honestly talk about them all day, Outlander is fantastic at bringing the periods to life that they’re set in. I’ve watched quite a lot of period dramas, shows and movies over the years, but none have ever immersed me into their world quite so much as Outlander. When I watch it, it feels like I’m really in 1743. Everything from the buildings, the smoke from the fires, the clothing, the way the people act and behave, the violence. It’s so far removed from the modern world I know, it’s actually alien and it makes it so easy to sympathise with how completely out of place Claire feels (although she handles it extremely well and fits in better than I ever could). There’s also something about the way the show is framed and paced that makes it feel incredibly intimate. Like I said, when I’m watching I don’t feel like I am watching, I feel like I’m in it, which is an incredibly rare thing for me to feel. With Claire and Jamie, in particular, I love that there’s no shying away from the depths and complexities of their relationship. With most other shows there’s always a rush to cut to the next scene with other characters, but Outlander allows the focus to remain in one place, in one scene with just two characters for a long time. Using 1x07 as an example, nearly the entirety of that episode consisted of just Jamie and Claire. We got to see everything that went on behind closed doors between them. You can tell there was no fear of boring people, they just allowed the audience to remain in that room with them and I love that. Firstly, I think it’s more realistic because life isn’t chopped up and edited to skip over the boring bits, so it’s good to see the quiet moments between Jamie and Claire and them having sex and everything that’s in between. There’s no rush with anything, the characters are allowed to be together and talk. It makes the characters feel much more realistic and it’s easier to connect to them too. I also love that we learn about the history’s of the characters (particularly Jamie and Claire) and see flashbacks of those pivotal moments in their lives, because we get to know them more. Another thing I love is the sex. When I was reading reviews on IMDb I noticed there were a lot of complaints about the amount of sex scenes and explicit nature of them, but I think that’s amazing. Again, sex is a part of life, it’s part of human relationships and love and I understand for age restricted shows it’s necessary to cut them out, but that’s always really annoyed me, because it’s such a big part of a couple’s relationship. The fact that we get to see every part of Jamie and Claire’s sex life and their passion for each other, is incredibly important to understand their love for one another, because a large part of the way they connect, particularly in the beginning, is through sex and physical intimacy. If you take away those scenes or show them in bed but cut out the actual act, it strips a lot away from their relationship and makes viewers feel less connected to their relationship.  

Another aspect of Outlander I love is the Scottish culture and history. It’s not a subject I’m particularly knowledgeable about since I’m not Scottish and the only Scottish history I’ve studied was in my English Civil Wars module I studied last semester, but again, it feels so realistic. The accents, the dialect, the customs, the clothing - it’s all vastly different to English culture and again, as an English woman myself, it makes it easy to put myself in Claire’s shoes and experience it through her eyes. It brings history to life in a very real and authentic way. Again, I know the animosity between the Scots and the Brits, I’ve studied it and I know of the hatred between England, Ireland and Scotland, but the way Outlander brings it to life, it feels like I’m being taken back to it. What’s also interesting is the way in which Claire, through her experiences, comes to care for and sympathise with the Scots over the British, who are her own people. Again, as a viewer I feel exactly the same. It’s not just Jack Randall that makes me perceive the British to be the enemy, it’s the way they invade Scottish lands that they have no right to and stomp around in their big boots wreaking havoc and violence wherever they go. The book/show is very much from the Scottish perspective and I love that, because in popular culture you don’t see much about Scottish history. You have to specifically look for it to find it, yet how many well-known and popular books, movies, shows etc. are there about WWI and WWII from the British perspective? Even when I studied the English Civil Wars, which were as much about Scotland and Ireland as England, the focus was primarily on England. So I love that Outlander is so focused on Scottish history, I’m loving it and it’s making me want to read and learn more about it.

Now it’s time to talk about that most heinous, sadistic, soulless, cretin, Jack Randall. Wow, I loathe this man with everything I have. Of all the shows I’ve ever watched, he is by far the worst villain I have ever encountered and is exactly the way a villain should be written. Again, I have to give praise to all of the people responsible creating the character and Tobias Menzies for playing him, because it’s done so well. I’ve discussed this in a previous post, but I rarely think that any villain in any book, show or movie is done well. The only show that I think write villains well is Game of Thrones, but that’s a different subject. What makes Jack Randall such a brilliant villain is that he is truly irredeemably evil. He is obsessed with power and dominance and using his position of authority to exert that power and dominance over others. It’s almost an addiction for him to have that power and his vendetta against Jamie is purely a result of Jamie challenging his power and not surrendering to him. It’s the first time Randall has come up against someone stronger than him, that is too courageous and brave to give in to him so he does everything he can to break Jamie. The final episode of Outlander is probably one of the most difficult episodes of television I’ve ever watched. To witness the lengths Randall went to just to break Jamie… it was truly harrowing and heart-wrenching. For Randall’s mind to even work in such a way as to do/say the things to Jamie that he did in that prison cell is proof that Randall has a black soul and psychotic mind. What’s even more interesting is that when Jamie told him to do what he must do, Randall said something along the lines of, “Do you think I can’t control the darkness inside me?” and that really shocked me, and made me realise how sick he is. He knows he has a darkness inside of him, but he revels in it, takes pleasure in it. That’s particularly clear when you see the sexual pleasure he takes from the pain he inflicts on others. The evil things he does are very much connected to that sexual pleasure he derives from it. There are just no words to describe how evil Randall is. Again, the fact that Randall is written this way means that I experience everything the characters do. I’m truly scared of Randall, because I know that there is nothing he’s not capable of. If he actively takes pleasure in hurting others and having them at his mercy what is his cut off point? There just isn’t one. I, for one, cannot wait to see Jack Randall die a torturous and bloody death. It better not be too fast either, because he deserves to suffer after everything he’s done.

That’s everything that I wanted to discuss. It’s been a wild ride so far and I’m so excited to get started on season 2. It’s going to be an entirely different experience to see Claire and Jamie in Paris, so I’m looking forward to it. I’m also intrigued to know if they really can change history. I’ve watched enough time travel movies/shows over the years to know that even when you have the best intentions, changing history and the future is incredibly dangerous. If Jamie and Claire do succeed in their goals, they simply don’t know how the world will change.