#blood curse chapter 24 | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

doitforbangchan · 5 months ago

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All Bark and No Bite - 18

Masterlist /Series masterlist

Chan x reader (y/n) x ot8

ABO!Nonidol!SKZ Alternate Universe

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Chapter warnings: Afab/fem reader, smut, unprotected p in v, mentions of oral (f receiving), sub!reader, Dom!Minho,crying (a TON), Dacryphilia, edging, masterbating, borderline voyeurism, choking, spanking, sir kink, subspace, biting, blood in mouth, angst, threats of violence, illusions to violence, cursing, fluff, kissing, dirty talk, petnames

WC: 14k

“Yeah, no thank you.”

“Come on, baby! I promise it won’t be like last time!”

“Jinnie…. last time was yesterday..”

“Exactly! 24 hours is enough for me to hone in on my skill.”

“Technically it’s been less than 24 hours-“

“That doesn’t matter! I swear I’ve gotten better!”

Hyunjin had been trying to convince you to let him do your makeup again, but this time he wasn't satisfied with just staying at home; no, this time he wanted you to wear it out. In public.

You stood before the mirror in the bathroom, freshly showered and beginning to get ready for the day. Albeit a little late in the morning- Jisung had demanded his ‘new favorite breakfast’ again this morning- but after making real breakfast for the pack it was time to get a move on with your day.

“Jinnie,” You fiddled with your hair brush, not wanting to upset him or hurt his feelings in any way but still attempting to remain adamant, “As much as I love you, I would really prefer to do my own makeup for today. Especially since Chan said most of the town would be attending the carnival, I really want to make a good impression on everyone.”

His lips curled in a playful grin and he practically had heart eyes. “Say you love me again.”

“I love you.”

“Again.” He requested, wrapping his lanky arms around your midsection from behind. “Tell me again.”

“Hyunjin, I love you so much.” The sincerity in your voice almost made him cry.

“Ok, I concede. You can do your own makeup today, baby.” He planted a wet smooch against your cheek, making you giggle and squirm in his hold. “On one condition.” He held up one finger. You hummed in question. “I get to sit here and keep you company while you get ready.”

You nodded with a wide smile, “Deal.”

The beta removed himself from you and hopped onto the counter next to you, being careful of your products. You started on your hair while he queued up some music on his phone.

“So what brings on this sudden interest in makeup?” You asked, genuinely curious, as he had not expressed (to you at least) any urge to learn.

He set the phone down; a slower melodic sounding song playing into the room, it was a gentle tune that just screamed Hyunjin.

“My muse, of course.”

He said it so casually, like it didn’t make your heart swell.

“I wanted an excuse to spend time with you, so I started looking up videos about makeup. Then it turned into me wanting to perfect the art form, and what better canvas than my favorite person.”

“Jinnie.” You blinked away the tears, but one slipped out anyway. “ You never need an excuse to be with me. I want you around, always. You’re my Jinnie.”

He reached out and wiped the wet trail off your cheek, cooing at you. “Sweet baby, don’t cry. I just love you so much I wanted something just for us. Time for only Baby and Jinnie.” He kissed you and wiped more of your tears. “Seriously, if you don’t stop crying you're gonna make me start.”

“Ok ok,” You pulled yourself together, sniffling once and willing the water works to stop. “Enough sappy shit,” that caused Hyunjin to snort, “I gotta get ready.”

You chatted with each other as you finished your hair and began on your makeup. You did your face then moved on to trying to cover up the hickeys and bruises left all over your neck and shoulders.

“Why are you doin that for?” Hyunjin asked, eyeing the cover up in your hands. “Everyone will know you’re there with us anyways.”

You dabbed your makeup sponge on your skin, glancing at him through the mirror. “I have no issue whatsoever with everyone knowing I’m with the pack. I don’t particularly want to go out in public looking like an animal mauled me, though. I am still a lady afterall.”

Hyunjin nodded in agreement, “Yeah that makes sense. Not everyone gets the privilege of seeing the naughty things we do to you, baby.”

“Exactly!” You applied the finishing touches, putting down your applicator and turning to face him. “How do I look?”

You had already gotten dressed beforehand; clothed in a pair of black high cut jean shorts that had little white flowers all over it and frayed edges, and a white one shoulder crop top that had corseted laces in the back. You also planned on pairing the fit with some strappy white sandals. Now with your hair and makeup done, you felt cute as hell.

“Looking great baby! Give me a spin!” You did as he asked and he cheered out loud for you, hyping you up. “Hot damn, gonna give the whole town a boner, out there looking like that.”

“Hyunjin!” You laughed and pushed at him. “Don’t be gross.”

He held his hands up in defense, “It’s not gross if it’s true.”

You laughed again, now turning on your heel to exit the bathroom. “Very profound of you, Jinnie.” Hyunjin followed you out of the bathroom and to your room. You were surprised to find there was already someone in there, rifling through your drawers. “Minnie, what are you doing?”

Seungmin looked up at you, clearly having been caught but showing zero remorse or embarrassment. “Hey puppy. Loving the shorts.” He grinned, and continued his digging. It was only when he lifted a particularly flimsy garment did you realize exactly which drawer he was rummaging in. Your panty drawer. “Why don’t you ever wear this one for me, huh?”

“Seungmin!” You felt your face heat up.

“You dirty perv! What the fuck are you doing?!” Hyunjin demanded, aghast at the younger's blatant behavior.

“Oh lighten up Hyung.” Seungmin snickered, then he held his fingers like a slingshot, shooting Hyunjin with the pair of underwear. Hyunjin was shocked at the assault, yelping when it hit him (even though it didn’t hurt at all).

You shrieked and stormed over to him, grabbing the next pair he held up before he could sling another one. “That is enough of that!”

“Yeah stop your shit, Seung!” Jinnie stomped his foot and pouted dramatically. Seungmin narrowed his eyes at the elder beta, his lip twitching with disdain at the order from his Hyung. Though Hyunjin was not his alpha- so Seungmin chose to ignore the demand.

A request from you on the other hand; looking up at him with a stern glower, eyebrows scrunched and lip tucked between your teeth- he couldn’t possibly continue his teasing, no matter how much he enjoyed it.

Seungmin threw his hands up in surrender, offering you a lazy smile. “Alright, baby. I concede. Don’t wanna get on my puppy's bad side. Last time she threw a can at me.” He ruffled your hair as you huffed, making him laugh.

“Funny how you don’t worry about my bad side, little prick.” Hyunjin attempted to launch the previously flung pair of underwear, but it only slung past Seungmins body, missing by over a foot. The younger beta glared menacingly at the elder, the latter immediately understanding the threat. He looked at his wrist as if there were a watch there (there wasn’t).“Well would you look at the time, I should get ready to go. See you later baby!” With that Hyunjin sped down the hall.

Seungmin smirked at the retreating figure, amused that his look had the desired effect. You, though, were still giving him that disapproving frown, clearly finding the ordeal humorless. “Seungmin, what are you doing in my drawers?”

He ran a hand through his hair, gesturing to the items on your bed you hadn’t noticed. It was a stack of t-shirts. Seungmins t-shirts.

He now felt a little abashed, refusing to meet your eyes and a light pink dusting covering his cheeks. “You walk around wearing Chan’s clothes so often, I thought maybe you’d want something of mine sometimes too.”

“Aww Minnie,” Your heart melted and you encased him in your arms, nuzzling against him. “Of course I want some of yours too, that is very sweet of you Minnie.”

‘Yeah, so sweet. Not possessive at all.’ He thought cynically of himself as you held him.

Your words were slightly muffled as your face continued to bury in his chest, “But why were you in my underwear?”

“I was going to put the shirts inside your dresser, but I got distracted.” He shrugged, not seeing a problem. “Puppy, I am just a man. A man who is a little bit obsessed with your pussy- and anything to do with it.”

You pulled away quickly, mouth agape and your face heating rapidly. “ Why is everything you say so vulgar?!”

He grabbed your face with both hands, his thumbs running along your cheeks, “Because I know how embarrassed it makes you, my little puppy.” He was cooing his words, as if talking to a real puppy. You wanted to move and avoid further mortification but he held you still, relishing in your submission. He held your gaze for another moment longer then he sighed wistfully, closing his eyes and leaning in to plant a soft kiss on your forehead.

You also closed your eyes, leaning into his touch once again. “Minnie..” You sighed quietly, more like a whisper than anything.

“Hmm”

“Love you..”

“Mm,” He pulled away slowly, peering down at you now. “Love you, baby.”

“Even though you're a perv.”

That made him fully burst into laughter, his eyes crinkling “ Only for you.” He reached around and pinched your ass hard. You yelped and smacked his hand, backing away and out of reach from his torment.

“Way to ruin the moment, jerk.”

“You’re the one who ruined it by calling me a perv!”

“I only call it like I see it, Minnie.”

You had a little smirk on your face that he just wanted to wipe off, and show you how much of a pervert he could really be. That would have to wait for another day, though. There was no time, seeing as the summer festivities were already underway.

“Remember this conversion. You don’t know what a perv looks like yet, pup.” He made his way to your door, stopping at the threshold. He pulled his car keys out of his pocket and turned to you again. “Get your shoes on, it’s almost time to go.”

He winked then left your room. You let go of the breath you didn’t know you were holding. Sweet and tender Seungmin was definitely your favorite - though the playful cheeky side of him was amusing sometimes as well.

‘I love a versatile man’ You laughed at your own thoughts, then gathered yourself and found your sandals.

You found Hyunjin, Changbin, Jeongin, Seungmin and Chan all downstairs chatting and cracking jokes.

Changbin was the first to notice you when you walked into the room and he made a show of whistling and clapping. “WOAH! Looking GOOD baby!”

Jeongin coughed, “Simp.” He coughed again, then received a harsh push from the older alpha, making him laugh.

You giggled, “Thank you Binnie.”

Jeongin pushed Changbin back, making Changbin stumble back into Seungmin who at the contact made a disgusted face and pinched Bins arm. They all started to bicker as Hyunjin laughed and Chan sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.

Only when the roughhousing started getting too mean did the head alpha step in.

“Enough!” His voice raised only slightly, but his tone held so much power- so much authority. Hearing it instantly made you wet.

The three boys stopped their antics at the command of the alpha, all three separating from the other.

“All of you, go get into the car.” He pointed to the door, “Quietly.” He looked at Hyunjin, “You too, go.” The beta went to protest but an eyebrow raise and a look from the alpha quickly shut him up, him too shuffling out the door like a wounded dog.

“Never a dull moment, huh Channie?” You smiled in jest, it was then you noticed he wasn’t dressed to leave yet; he was still shirtless and in his basketball shorts. “ Not that I mind you being shirtless, but why aren’t you ready? Aren’t you coming with us?” The look on his face gave him away immediately. “Channie! This is supposed to be a fun day out for all of us! You included!” You whined, tugging on his arm.

“I’m still going, omega. Just a little later.” You pouted at his words and went to turn away from him, making him grab your cheeks with one hand turning you back to face him. “Don’t pout. It’s still a weekday, I have to work. Someone in this house has to make enough money to support nine people. I will be there in a few hours after I get some important work done.” You felt your lip tremble in his hold, his tone noticeably hardening and making you want to cry. Thankfully you were able to steel yourself and hold your tears back before you messed up your makeup.

“Ok alpha, I understand. M’ sorry.”

His look noticeably softened. “You’ll have fun regardless, I promise.” He kissed you on your mouth and let go of you. “The boys are waiting for you, better go before they strangle each other.”

You nodded, leaning up to give him another quick kiss, then scurrying yourself out the door.

As you expected, the drive into town was.. Chaotic to say the least. Chaotic yet comforting. You loved how authentically themselves they are with each other. You pressed your face to the glass of the window as you passed by downtown, seeing it set up with booths and market stalls and tons of people. A little further down obscured by buildings you could make out the tops of some rides.

“Cutie pie.” Jeongin tickled your side from behind as he watched how enthralled you became.

Seungmin parked his car in a back lot and the lot of you clamored out. “The others are around here somewhere, they got a head start this afternoon.” Seungmin said, locking the car.

Hyunjin grabbed one of your hands and Jeongin grabbed the other one. Both started to drag you along with them. “What should we do first, baby? Shopping? Food?” Hyunjin asked, pursing his lip in thought. “OOO how about rides?”

“Yes, rides! You like rides, dontcha baby?” Jeongin beamed at you.

“I love rides.” You beamed back, excited. Even back when you lived with your family you hadn’t been allowed to go to the fair in years. Your elder sister always made sure to bring you back something. Be it food, stuffies won from games, hell one time she even brought you a goldfish.

You couldn’t stop yourself from thinking of her now. You remembered how she used to hold your hand, back when you were too small to be left to your own devices. You both used to be the best of friends, even though she was so much older than you she always made sure to include you in her plans. As you got older and presented as an omega, the bond you shared began to strain. She still had most of her freedoms as a beta. Your father didn’t hold her leash as tightly as he held yours and your mothers. She still got to go to school, have friends, meet boys.. In your teens you had resented her for it, but now you understand it wasn’t her fault she was able to have more of a life. It was your fathers.

You wondered what she was up to since you left. And if she missed you as much as you now missed her. You missed your mom too. She was the only one you could relate to. There was a pain in your heart as you thought about how much she must have cried when you disappeared.

A sourness was draining out of you in waves, your inner turmoil coming out for all to smell. It was only a second before you were being tugged into the arms of Jeongin; the alpha being able to smell it just before Hyunjin could.

“Baby, what’s wrong? Did something happen?” He asked, keeping you close and away from any one else.

“We don’t have to do rides right now if you don’t wanna!” Hyunjin said, trying to make it better but having no idea why.

You shook your head, “No, no I’m ok. Nothing is wrong.” You gave them a weak smile that didn’t quite reach your eyes.

Jeongin tapped his nose, “I think you’re forgetting we can smell your emotions, omega. And I’m just saying, you do have a lot of emotions.” He saw your face fall in shame before he backtracked, “Not that it’s a bad thing! It’s not your fault your sensitive baby! I love it! Just not when you're upset like this.”

“M’ sorry guys. I was just thinking about my family, how much my sister loved the fair. I didn’t mean to make myself sad.” You hugged tighter into Innie, Hyunjin coming in and sandwiching you between them.

“I know you’ll never forget the memories you’ve made with your family, and of course I never want you too; but I hope that we can make more happy memories together as a new family. Ones that we can look back on when we’re old.” Jeongin had a light pink creeping onto his cheeks, his own sentiment making him shy.

“Yeah memories we can tell our kids about!” Hyunjin added, pressing kisses to the back of your head.

Now it was your turn to get shy, “You guys wanna grow old with me and have babies? You guys don’t eventually want to find someone who you don’t have to share?

They both shook their heads vehemently, with Jeongin answering first. “Of course we want to grow old with you baby! We took your mating bites, there is no one else for us for as long as we live. If you’ll have us…”

“Yes I want you! All of you! I love everyone in this pack so much, I can’t imagine a life without all of you in it.”

“And our babies?” Hyunjin added, sounding hopeful.

You giggled “Yes Jinnie, and future babies.” You reached up and pinched both of their cheeks, laughing harder when they whined, smacking your hands away. “Any babies from you lot are going to be just the cutest. Now let’s stop being sappy and go ride some rides.”

You took their hands again and tugged them off to have fun. You were feeling much better now, the boys having done a great job at taking your mind off of it. Though now, all three of you could only think of a litter of little chunky babies.

The future is looking better everyday.

“Hey Changbin!”

The alpha was perusing the food stalls, deciding which sweet to start with (though he knew he would eventually try all of them), when he heard his name being called. Behind him was Wooyoung, his hair slicked back and his hand in the air waving him over.

“What’s up bro?” Changbin went over to where the beta was standing, greeting him with a bro hug. “Thought you were busy with your uncle today.”

“The old man let me go early.” Wooyoung replied, putting his hands in his pockets casually, and looking around. “You uh, here alone?”

“Pfft, no. The whole pack is here, I think minus Chan. Old man never stops working.” Changbin replied, peeping at the goods at the stall they were by, and missing the glint in Wooyoungs eyes.

“Chan is your head alpha, right?” What Changbin didn’t miss was the mild excitement lacing the betas voice suddenly.

He looked at him with a side eye, “Yeaahh, he’s pack leader. Why?”

Wooyoung did his best to look abashed, glancing away and then rubbing the back of his neck. “Oh you know me, just love a strong alpha. Woulda been nice to meet him.”

Changbin laughed then, clapping Wooyoung on the back. “Don’t let your own alpha hear you say that. From what you said he can get pretty possessive.”

The beta snorted, “You don’t know the half of it.. Anyways, do you wanna hang out for a while?”

Changbin agreed enthusiastically, happy to have a companion for the day. The two of them meandered together, chatting and laughing. After a while Changbin got a text in the group chat, asking for whoever is closer to the ride section to come for a second. Changbin happened to be only a few yards from the rides area, thus he replied so.

“Looks like Baby got a little motion sick, I’m gonna run and get her real quick.” Changbin said and turned to walk down the path. Wooyoung nodded, biting his lip to conceal his smirk.

Everything was spinning, you couldn’t stand up straight or you would surely tumble down. You were leaning against Hyunjin for stability.

“You’re alright baby, take all the time you need.” The beta said, rubbing your arm.

“Too much spinning.” You mumbled, trying to get your bearings. “I think I’m done with the rides for now, boys.” You caught the crestfallen look on both of their faces, “But you guys don’t have to be done! I can go find another pack member to tag along with!”

The boys shared a look, then Jeongin said “You’re not going off by yourself. I’ll see who’s around.” He pulled out his phone, typed for a moment then waited. After a minute or so he got a ding. “Perfect, Bin is around the corner. He’s coming to get you, baby.”

True to his word there was Changbin coming towards you with open arms. “There's my sick little omega. Come to Binnie.” He pulled you off of Hyunjin and into his awaiting arms, giving you a hug.

“M’ not sick, just a little too dizzy.” you said but allowed the hug. “Thank you for coming.”

“Binnie to the rescue!” He flexed his arms, making a show of kissing his biceps. Jeongin faked gagged, making Changbin roll his eyes. “Come on, let’s leave these heathens to get so sick they throw up.”

He took your hand and took you the opposite way from where you came from.

“I really appreciate you coming for me, Binnie. You didn’t have to, I could have figured it out so I didn’t have to bother you.”

He brought your joined hands up to his mouth and kissed the back of your hand. “I will always come for you, baby. No bother at all. I was just hanging with Woo, looking at food.”

Your stomach lurched at the mention of eating right now, making you grimace. “A water bottle sounds lovely right now.”

Changbin waved at his friend, a man you had never seen before came striding up to the pair of you. “Baby, this is my friend Wooyoung.”

“Hi, I’m Y/n. It’s nice to meet you.” You offered a shy wave, still holding onto Bin.

The new man's gaze was intense as he took you in. There was something ominous in the way he looked at you, a clear eagerness residing behind his smile. “Nice to finally meet you too.” Even his voice had an eeriness you couldn’t place.

‘Be polite Y/n, this is Binnies friend. Give him a chance.’ You thought to yourself, shaking off the negative thoughts.

“I can finally put a face to the girl that has this pabo wrapped around her finger.” Wooyoung pointed in jest at Changbin, who in return shoved him with a light blush creeping up his ears.

“Shut up, Woo!” The alpha whined. That made you giggle, Bin was too cute sometimes. “Let’s get you that water, love.”

You and Changbin walked ahead with Wooyoung following close behind. You both failed to notice when the beta pulled out his phone, taking a quick picture of you and sending it off in a text message. The only words accompanying the picture being ‘ found her’.

Changbin bought you water and told you to let him know when it was finished, knowing you would want something after your stomach settled. The three of you walked the downtown stalls, occasionally stopping to look at booths or for Bin to get another snack. After a while you started to feel better, no longer having a headache or the gurgling in your stomach and you found yourself accepting some of the offered bites and goods.

You were munching on an oversized churro, listening to the two guys banter when Changbin stilled your walking with a dramatic gasp. “Look!” He pointed excitingly at a game booth. The game was one of those arm wrestling competitions, where the winner plays until they lose. “I gotta try!”

He pulled you till him and Wooyoung were in line and you were waiting with them. The line went pretty quick, the current champ taking out people left and right. Soon there was only one person ahead of Changbin.

“That game was made for you, Binnie.” You hyped him up with a laugh, rubbing his shoulders as if he was a fighter. “Show em who’s boss!”

You stood off to the side as Changbin faced his opponent. You cheered him on as the arm wrestling began, both men giving it their all. All too soon it was Changbin who forced the other man's arm down, claiming victory. The alpha jumped up and down animatedly, pumping his fists in the air. His next opponent was his friend Wooyoung.

“You’ve seen how much I lift, Woo. You sure you wanna take me on?” Bin was being cocky, flexing at his friend.

“Might as well give it a shot. Maybe I’ll win.” The beta responded, getting into position.

In a matter of seconds Changbin had won again. Wooyoungs arm went down almost without resistance.

“All that weight training and nothing to show for it.” Bin laughed, clapping the other man on the back. “We gotta work you harder from now on.”

“Guess I gotta catch up before I can beat you.” Wooyoung shrugged, laughing too.

Bin looked over at you, gleaming with joy at being undefeated. “Just a few more times baby, then we can go.”

You sent him two thumbs up from your place a few feet away, “ Play as much as you want Binnie. I’m good staying here waiting for you.” He blew you a kiss then went back to playing.

After a few minutes you finished your Churro. You went to take a drink from the lemonade Bin got you, only to find it already gone. ‘Dangit Binnie! You said you didn’t want any!’ You glared at his back playfully, knowing he couldn’t see you. It was at this moment that Wooyoung shuffled up to you with a grin. You did your best to give him a polite smile in return.

“Doin alright over here?” He asked you, being a touch to close for your comfort.

You stepped back, now leaning against a wall and trying to appear natural. “Yeah, I’m fine. Just having my snack.” You lifted your now empty drink cup.

“Ah Changbin went to town on that thing.” He laughed.

“After he said he didn’t want any.” You laughed too, not being mad about it but still finding it amusing.

“Do you want another one?” The man asked, still sporting his grin that gave you the chills (not in a good way). He motioned for your drink.

“Um, “ You didn’t want to be rude. “No thank you. I should cut back on how much sugar I’ve had today. And I wouldn’t wanna inconvenience you. I’ll just wait for Binnie.”

He shook his head, “ It’s not an inconvenience at all. You look thirsty, let’s go get you another drink.” He grabbed your wrist and went to move with you.

You dug your heels into the ground and attempted to pull your arm away. You looked over to where Changbin was, he was too far away and cheering too loud to notice what was going on. “I said no thank you. I’m staying right here.” Now you were beyond nervous, eyes wide as you pulled again.

“Come on, It’s just lemonade. The stall is right over there. Don’t be difficult.” He tried to keep up his nice guy tone, but you could tell he was getting frustrated. “I thought omegas were supposed to be nice and grateful.”

He tugged you again, his grip tightening. You started to raise your voice despite the trembling in your lip “ I said no! I’m not going anywhere with you.”

“Don’t yell you little -”

“Get the fuck away from her.”

Minho was across the way, browsing a booth selling tiny animals made of rocks. He wasn’t initially going to buy anything -he just liked to browse- but he couldn’t help but stop, thinking of how excited you would be if he gifted you one of these. He wanted to show he did care about you but he wasn’t the best at verbally expressing his emotions. He figured this would do.

After a looking for a few minutes he found the perfect one. A little cat made of some kind of pink rock. Rose quartz he would assume. He was happy with his find, quickly waving over the shop keep and pointing at the one he wanted.

He was just finishing paying when he caught the familiar scent of the exact person who had been on his mind. Minho pocketed the little figure, and turned around with his head held high, searching for the source of that intoxicating aroma. All to quickly that scent started to sour, indicating you were in some kind of distress.

Minho looked through the sea of people until his eyes locked on your figure from the other side of the street. You were leaning against a wall, standing with someone. No, more like being grabbed by someone. Getting closer he could see who it was.

Wooyoung.

“That son of a bitch.” He murmured, now starting to walk quickly over to where you were. He didn’t want to run and cause a scene, well more of a scene than he was about to cause, he didn’t need anything else making his pack look bad.

He got to you to see Wooyoung holding your wrist, not letting you go as you tried to pull away.

“ I said no! I’m not going anywhere with you.”

“Don’t yell you little -”

“Get the fuck away from her.” Minho practically snarled, pushing the younger beta away from you and getting in his face. “What the fuck is your deal?”

Wooyoung let go when he felt the contact from Minho. “Hey man, it’s alright, just a misunderstanding.”

“A misunderstanding huh?” He scoffed, not moving away from Wooyoung. “Here's something you should understand. Stay the fuck away from Y/n and Changbin. I don’t know what the fuck is your motive here, but this is your only warning. Stay. Away. From. them. Or I will hurt you.” The tone he used was venomous, his glare deadly.

By now this altercation has attracted some attention, a few onlookers stopping to watch the scene unfolding. Not that any one of you cared much, too caught up in it yourselves. You just watched on in horror, praying this didn’t escalate into violence.

“Is that a threat, Minho?” Wooyoungs look hardened, glaring at the elder.

“I don’t make threats.”

“Woah woah woah! What is going on over here?!” Changbin had come running, now paying enough attention to hear the commotion. He put his body between Minho and Wooyoung, separating the two.

“Keep better track of your ‘friend’, Changbin.” Minho spat, he shoved a finger into his chest, making him stumble. “He grabbed our omega. Good fucking job watching her by the way.”

“Hyung, I don’t understan-”

“Yeah of course you don’t fucking understand. You are too fucking trusting. You don’t even know this guy and you left him with the most precious thing in our pack? Get a fucking grip.” Minhos words were like a stab to Changbins chest, the impact sitting heavy. “Tell him to keep his fucking hands to himself, and then stay away from him. I’m not joking, Changbin.” He turned to walk closer to you, putting his hand on your back and leading you away, past the onlookers.

“Min where are you going?” Changbins voice broke as he called out.

“I’m taking Baby home, away from him.” He replied in a hard tone, not turning around to address him at all.

You were on the verge of tears, trying to contain your emotions but they took over anyways. You didn’t want to be around Wooyoung so you just let Minho lead you away.

Changbin shook his head in grief. Then he turned to face Wooyoung who was still standing behind him. “What did you do?”

“Changbin, it was nothing.” The beta tried to shrug but Changbin wasn’t buying it. Not this time.

“You know what, Wooyoung? I think Minho’s right. Maybe I should stay away from you. You say and do some weird shit sometimes. Don’t call me. Don’t come by my gym. We’re done.” Changbin turned and walked away. He had a lot to think about.

That left Wooyoung by himself. He waited for a second then turned and walked the opposite way Changbin had gone. He kept going until he was a few yards away from any of the townspeople, then he took out his phone.

“Hey, it’s me.”

Pause.

“No, she got away from me, I couldn’t cause a big scene like that.”

Pause.

“I know where to find her. I’m sure you’d love to hear about her new alpha.”

Minho silently walked you all the way to the parking lot. Just arriving was Chan, seeing you both approaching. “Hey! Having fun?” He asked, then he noticed the hard pressed look on Minhos face and the tears in your eyes. “Oh no, what happened?” He reached up to wipe your tears, heart breaking at the little whimper you let out.

“Wasn’t me this time. I’m taking her home. This has been enough excitement for today.” At Chan's confused face he continued. “ I’ll explain it more to you later, for now you should check on Changbin. Make sure he’s not with his ‘friend’ “ Minho spit the word, clearly still steamed.

Chan nodded slowly, feeling like Minho had his reasons for taking you. He kissed you and gave you a hug, pumping out comforting pheromones to help you calm down. He felt your shoulders relax slightly, and you hugged him even tighter.

“Minho will take care of you, baby. I will be home soon to check on you, ok?” The alpha said, kissing your cheek this time. You nodded into him and let him go. Being in his hold helped to ground you; remind you that you’re ok. “I love you.”

“I love you too, Channie.”

Minho led you further into the lot and to his car. He opened your door for you and waited for you to be seated, then he reached over you and tried to buckle you in. It was at this point you were done being babied. “ I can buckle my own seatbelt Minho. I don’t need you to do it for me.” You attempted to grab it from him but he pulled it back and glared at you.

“Oh you don’t need me to do this for you but you need me to save you?” He scoffed, finally buckling you in and slamming your door shut.

“I didn’t ask to be saved by you.” You replied snarkily when he opened the drivers side door and climbed in.

He turned to look at you, really taking you in for the first time that day. He took note of your teary eyes and the scrunch of your brow. He also noticed that the marks that were on your neck and shoulders were gone.

“Where are your claiming bites?”

His question threw you off. “Huh?”

“Your bites and marks. They’re gone.”

“I covered them with makeup.” You said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“Why? Are you embarrassed? Don’t want everyone to know you're taken by us?”

“Of course I’m not embarrassed! I just wanted to look presentable in public!” You narrowed your eyes, “And there's no mark on me from you Minho, so I don’t know what you mean by us.” You knew you were being a little petty, but honestly you didn’t give a damn.

He scoffed, a borderline menacing glaze taking over his face. “ Is that why you're acting up? Because I haven’t laid my bite into you yet? Grow up. You’ll get it when I’m good and ready to give it to you.” He started the car, and began to back out of the spot.

You leaned back in your seat, crossing your arms and looking out the window. You didn’t have a reply that wasn’t an insult so you thought it better to keep your mouth shut. The whole drive home you and Minho ignored each other, opting to drive in silence. Both of you are stewing in your own thoughts.

Soon enough the car pulled up to the house. You shot out of the car as soon as he parked, barely giving him a chance to turn off the vehicle. As you went up the steps you heard Minho's car door slam after he stepped out.

You had made into the doors threshold when he grabbed your arm, halting your movements. “Go wash that filth off of you.”

Filth?

“Do you mean the makeup?” Or did he mean Wooyoungs stench?

He huffed, “Yes, I don’t like it on you.” You were about to protest, but when you went to open your mouth he leaned his face closer to yours and lowered his voice. “It’s the least you could do after I brought you all the way home and away from danger.”

You decided the matter is not worth the fight.

“Yes sir.” You rolled your eyes as you said it sarcastically. Minho resisted a growl at the title, biting his lip instead and showing off those bunny teeth of his.

You pulled your arm free and stormed into the house and up the stairs. You did make it a point to slam the bathroom door shut, though.

You knew you shouldn’t have been so rude to him, especially after he stood up for you and got you out of that frightening situation- but you couldn’t help it. Minho was the only person you were testy with, and clearly neither of you understood why.

The house was quiet. No one else was home yet, it was just you and Minho, and the latter was making no sound at all. It was almost eerie. You removed the makeup from your neck in silence, using the wipes provided by Hyunjin. You finished the task quickly and headed out into the hall. You rounded the corner to go to Chan's room to hide away, but before you could open the door a hand grabbed you and wrapped loosely around your neck, and a sturdy chest at your back. Your movements were halted completely as you screamed in fright, your hands coming up to grab the offending hand.

“So you can listen to me.”

It was Minho. You were so in your own head you didn’t even sense him nearby.

“Minho.. What are y-”

“Shhh,” You felt his lips by your ear, the rasp of his whisper making you shudder. “ You look so good with these pretty marks of yours showing. Purple is my favorite color, you know? And the boys sure did a good job covering you in it.”

You felt his lips brush against your neck, lingering on the biggest hickey at the base, and his tongue poked out to touch the bruised skin. The actions felt so erotic, so sensual, yet he was barely doing anything to you. Your heart was beating so fast in your chest you were sure he could hear it pounding- if not being able to feel it in your throat. He wasn’t squeezing hard enough to hurt you, only hard enough to hold you in place.

When the light brushes of his lips turned into full on sloppy smooches you started to lose your cool, your hand tightening around his that still held your neck as a mewl escaped your mouth. You could feel his smug smirk against your skin and you would have rolled your eyes if the situation had been different. His other hand found its way to your hip and he pulled your body even closer to his, his chest now flushed against your back.

“Here’s what's gonna happen, omega.” You bit back another whimper at the mention of your presentation. “We’re gonna put an end to this stupid tension you and I share. You are going to be good for me and do as I say, and in return I’m going to fuck you so good you forget your own name. Do you understand?”

You tried to nod your head frantically but with the way his hand tightened as he held your head in place told you he wanted a verbal response. “Y-yes, Min. I u-understand.” Your voice came out raspy as you tried to hold back showing your arousal yet doing a terrible job. Your panties began to dampen further when you heard his little chuckle in response to your stuttering.

He hummed into your skin, “Mmm good girl.” He kissed your neck again and his hand traveled from your hip to your ass. He gave the cheek a squeeze, cupping it over your shorts and he hummed again. Your breathing picked up when you felt it and your eyes were falling shut as a result of all of the light stimulations. Then right as your lids finally shut he stopped; taking his hand from your throat and backing up from you.

“Huh?” Your breath returned to you in full and you spun around to face Minho.

He gave another chuckle at your confused expression. “What? Did you think I was gonna take you right here in the hallway? No no. I’m not that much of an asshole.” He grabbed your hand and pulled you with him down the hall in the direction of his room. “Plus, how else am I going to get your scent all over my sheets if I don’t have you in them?”

You felt your face burn as he tugged you along, loving the thought of him wanting your scent all over him all the time. He opened his door and pulled you inside. The second the door was closed he had your back against the door and his arms on both sides of you caging you in. Your breath hitches in your throat as he leans in and looks into your eyes, as if he can see straight through you and into your soul.

You lifted a hand up to his face, using your thumb to rub his cheek- so softly he could have missed it if he wasn’t so focused on your touch. “Min…”

The whisper of his name was the scissors cutting the thread, his last strand of willpower snapped and he was on you. His mouth was burning hot as he crashed it against your own. You returned his enthusiasm by reciprocating and the two of you devoured each other. His kiss wasn’t soft or sweet; instead it was desperate and frantic- as if he had been longing for this just as you have.

The taste of Minho's mouth was exquisite. It was very similar to how he smelled but richer. It was slightly tart and tannin rich- almost like a dark wine that's been aged to perfection. You moaned weakly into him when he ran his tongue on your own, now the two appendages fighting for dominance.

His hands left the door and went to the base of your ass, gripping and massaging your lower cheeks, fingertips digging into the meat. He bit your bottom lip , almost drawing blood with his bunny teeth. “Fucking love these little shorts. Your ass looks so good it should be a crime. Can’t believe Chan let you out of the house looking like this.” He gripped tighter and you whined from the light pain. “If it were up to me you would never be able to show off your sexy body to anyone outside this house. Though if it were up to me, you wouldn’t be able to leave at all. I’d keep you here, naked and ready for us to play with whenever we wanted.”

An involuntary mewl left your lips. His words ignited a flame within you; your inner omega panting and begging for that reality. A rush of slick gushed out of you and in your panties. Minho's nostrils flared and his pupils dilated when he caught the sweetness that he knew to be the scent of your arousal.

His hands went to your thighs, “Jump.” You wrapped your arms around his shoulders and did as he said, jumping into him as he hoisted you up. The muscles in his arms flexed as he carried you to his bed. He dropped you on his bed, your back hitting the softness with a small bounce. You leaned back on your elbows as you took him in. Minho was standing at the foot of the bed gazing down at you with wild eyes, and his breathing labored. You hadn’t noticed before but he was sporting a dark pair of jeans and a black tank. His hair had been pushed back but a few wispy strands fell over his eyes anyway. He looked incredibly mouthwatering.

He sported a cocky smirk as he palmed his hard on through his jeans. In his mind you resembled a bunny rabbit; with your big glassy eyes and trembling lips- and he was the wolf that wanted to swallow you whole.

Ironic given that you thought he also looked like a bunny.

“Take your clothes off.” You went to shuck off your top but the beta tsked, “Uh uh, slowly f’me baby.” Minho didn’t believe in instant gratification- not even for himself.

You sat up a little more and with shaking fingers you found the laces on your top, undoing them as slow as you could while also steeling your nerves. He was watching you like a predator, a dangerous gleam in his eyes as he focused on your nimble fingers. He appeared to be much more put together than you mentally and physically. You eventually got your shirt off and your breasts were freed, the AC in the house made your nipples harden. You then moved on to your shorts. You looked right into his eyes as you undid the buttons and the zipper, slowly pushing them down your legs and off of the bed.

You could feel the intensity of his aura; his general assertiveness coming off of him in waves and making you want to submit fully to him. He could tell you to jump off a bridge and you would probably do it without question. Even though he wasn’t an alpha (a fact you love to remind him of) he still held domination like one. You guessed that was a natural side effect of being second oldest and second in command of a pack of men.

Finally you got your shorts down your legs, now being almost completely naked except for your underwear. Just as you went to pull down your underwear he stopped you. “Wait, leave 'em on while I get a good look at you.” Minho’s eyes roamed all over you and made you feel slightly self conscious, your hands going to cover your chest but the growl he let out halted your movements. “I said I want to look at you, don’t you dare cover yourself from me.” Your hands reluctantly fell back to your sides. “Thata’ girl. Mmm those are some pretty panties you got on, omega. Look strangely like one of the pairs I picked out for you. Pink is definitely your color.”

You hadn’t even realized you had on the frilliest pair he had gotten you. It was a baby pink and brazilian cut, made of intricate lace that had small bows at the edges and the waistband was sparkly. It was definitely one of your cutest pairs and it was very comfortable. He definitely knew how to pick lingerie… and it just occurred to you he could most likely see how wet you were through the material.

“I love this pair. It’s one of my favorites.” You said, looking away from him after your admittance not wanting to see his the self satisfied grin you knew he was sporting.

“Show me how much you love them.”

You were confused. “I-I don’t understand..”

“You said you loved that pair.” He tilted his head condescendingly. “Show me how much you love them. Touch yourself while wearing them.”

You were speechless, your mouth agape as you looked at him in trepidation. “I uh, Minho I don’t, uh..”

The beta put both hands on the foot of the bed and leaned down so he was closer to you, “Didn’t you say you would be good and listen to me for fucking once?” You nodded hesitantly, biting your lip. “Then do as I say and rub your pussy through those cute little fucking panties.”

He stood again and gave you room, motioning for you to get on with it. You avoided eye contact as you took a deep breath and brought your hand to your center, gingerly running your fingertips along the soaked material hiding your core. You lightly dipped your finger into the fabric, teasing your hole then moved the digit up to your covered clit. Your chest was heaving as a moan left your lips. You touched the bundle again, this time there was more pressure that made your hips buck up into your hand. You heard him curse so you risked a quick look over to him and the sight was a spectacle to say the least.

The man had his pants unbuttoned and lowered to his mid thigh, and his big hand was palming the erection over his underwear. He never took his eyes off you, his eyes flickering between your face to watch your expressions then back down to your hand that played with yourself. You felt yourself gush more slick and you moaned, now finding a good rhythm on your clit.

The tension was so intense that you felt your high approaching in record time. Whispers of his name came from you and your tongue ran along your lips. “Min, Minho, I’m- m’ gonna..”

“You wanna cum, baby?” He was being patronizing, even as he gripped his member harder.

You nodded vehemently, right on the precipice. “Yes, yes!”

“That’s too fucking bad. Don’t you dare cum.”

You gasped when his other hand shot out and grabbed your wrist, halting your rubbing and ruining your orgasm. “Minho! What the fuck? Whyyyyy?!” There were tears welling on your lash line.

You always look so pretty when you cry

He laughed at your expression, “You think you get to cum just like that? Like you deserve to after the way you consistently defy me? Nuh uh, I think you gotta work for it a little more.” He let go of your wrist but remained leaning over you. “Start again, this time with more vigor.”

You wanted to protest, to refuse to adhere to his game- but you knew either way you would be doing as he commands. So with a wet pout your shaky fingers returned to the place between your thighs.

This time your touches were more delicate, but that wasn’t what Mihno was after. He shook his head at you, eyes narrowing at your almost defiance.

“Harder, omega. Rub her nice and good. I wanna see you squirm.”

Ah, now you knew the game he was playing. He wanted you to put on a show for him, so you would do exactly that.

You gave your clit a circling with your finger, then slipped it down your slit then back up again quickly. You felt yourself clench on nothing and more wetness left you, now it had completely drenched the fabric and was making you uncomfortable. Still, the sensations were delicious nonetheless.

All too quickly you were once again built back up and your orgasm was a few rubs away. You knew what you had to do to get what you needed.

“Minnnn,” You whined, looking right into his eyes now. “Please, wanna cum. Been good for you, please let me.”

He looked like he was thinking about it, and just as you thought he was going to grant your wish, he grabbed your hand again and made you stop. You let out a groan of frustration, tears now descending down your cheeks.

“Please stop teasing me! I can’t take it!”

“Or what? Gonna cry about it? Little crybaby omega, always blubbering. Well go ahead and cry for me. Let me see those pretty tears.” His voice was soft but his words were mean; the difference giving you whiplash and making you cry harder giving him exactly what he wanted.

Minho bit back a moan of satisfaction at the sight of your tears. He just loved to watch you cry, it made him even harder than he was before (as impossible as it seemed) and scratched the mild sadistic itch that laid within him. Soon he wanted to watch you cry while you sucked and gagged on his cock, but that would wait for another day.

You sniffled and sobbed, unable to contain the dam that had been broken while he cooed at you. Min shucked off his pants while you wiped your eyes, then he leaned over your body and caressed your now wet cheeks, smearing the wetness into your skin. You let out a wet squeal when you felt his tongue on your cheek as he lapped up your salty tears. He pulled back with a moan and his eyes shut.

“Such a good little omega, being so obedient for me.” He nuzzled into your neck, nipping at you with a purr. “I don’t even have to be an alpha to make you do as I say right now, hmm? You're so desperate for my dick you just give into my demands.”

One thing you noticed about Minho was that he had a strange complex about not being an alpha. He seemed to get upset when it was mentioned that he wasn’t one or when he couldn’t command the respect of one. And now he was even bringing it up in the bedroom.

‘Maybe that’s why he takes it so personally when I attempt to defy him.’ You thought to yourself but chose to not mention it outloud.

“How bad do you want to cum, omega?”

“So so bad!” You continued to cry, now your hands were on his chest tugging at his shirt, “Need it, Min.”

“As much as I like the sound of my name on your lips, I think I want you to call me something else.” He ground his hips against yours, “Call me ‘sir’.”

How mortifying. If you had known your snide comment would lead to this you would have never made it. But if you were being honest with yourself, you kind of liked it.

“Please sir.”

“Fucking hell.” That was the straw that broke the camel's back. The beta roughly shoved down your panties, the fabric was soaked and wanted to cling to your nether lips, there was a string of your arousal that came with the garment as it was removed from you.

The kisses you had shared before were child's play compared to the one he gave you now, the clashing of teeth and tongues making you feel lightheaded. Never would you have imagined the amount of passion and all consuming vigor that he would be able to channel into something as simple as a kiss, yet it had you careening into space at a devastating pace.

Minho's fingers wasted zero time in running his fingers through your slick then spreading it around your core, soaking your skin even more. A desperate whine burst from you into his mouth, tears still steadily leaking down your face as his fingers purposefully avoided your aching bundle.

“Please, please Minho. Need you to fuck me, I can’t take it.”

There was no better sound in the world than you begging for him, but you used the wrong name. He laid a sharp smack against your center, the wetness splashing with the contact. You let out a hiss at the pain.

“That’s not my name. Try again.”

Goddammit, he wasn’t going to let you off easy.

“Sir, need you. Need your cock, Sir please. Need to be filled by you.”

Minho quickly removed his boxers and threw them on the floor. Then he repositioned himself over you with a cocky smile. “Careful what you ask for, baby.”

He gave no warning before he plunged into you, filling you completely and bottoming out in one single thrust. Your eyes rolled into your head as you threw your head back with a deafening cry. “Nggggg oh my gooooood.”

“Holy fucking shit. Now I see what all the fuss is about.” He started to thrust into you at a punishing pace, his whole weight on top of you. “ You really do have the tightest and wettest pussy in the world. Can’t believe I waited so fucking long to fuck you.” He laid messy kisses to your neck, sucking harshly on the skin and adding his own marks to the ever growing collection.

Your hands were gripping his hair and you cried and moaned in his ear. Sighs and whimpers of ‘sir’ ‘s’good’ and ‘please’ leaving you and being music to his ears.

Minho sat back on his knees, taking his weight off of you and your hands scrambled out to him attempting to pull him back to you. You cried out at the sudden emptiness you felt when he pulled out with no warning.

“No sir! Don’t go!” Your blubbering started again, your emotions running high at the consistent denial. “M’ good f’ you! Please Sir, need you back in me.” You were crying harder than you had this whole day, begging for him.

Minho used his red tip to slap against your clit, a resounding wet ‘smack’ filling the room along with your cries. “Hear that? Here the way your pussy cries for me? The way even she begs to be filled? Don’t worry, omega. Sir will give her what she wants.”

It was humiliating; the way he addressed a part of your body as if it wasn’t attached to you, like your pussy was its own entity with its own consciousness. You wanted to cover your face and hide so you put your hands over your face.

“Don’t you fucking hide from me.” His growl was deep and menacing, his eyes narrowed at you. “You look at me when I fuck you.”

Still sitting back on his knees with his back straight, Minho grabbed your hips and lifted you up enough to haul your butt over his thighs to be flush on him, and rammed his member back into you.

This position allowed him to go even deeper than before, your eyes shot open and a scream left you at the pleasure. “Sir! Ngghhhgg fuck sir!” Your hands balled into fists as you held the sheets below you.

“Arch your back.” He demanded through his panting. You did as he said and it somehow made you feel even closer to him. “Mmmm there we go, nice and deep in there.” He began to sweat, the teasing and playing with you has finally caught up to him. His thumb went down to where the two of you met and he found your clit, rubbing hard and precise circles on your throbbing bud.

“Fuck! Oh my god! Min-Sir, need to cum, please please let me cum this time. Please.” You were crying and babbling so hard you started drooling, mouth and eyes alike leaking wetness that dripped down your face and onto the man's bed.

His thumb pressed even harder on your clit, and gave you a lusty look, with his eyes set on yours as you begged.

“Cum for me, omega. You’ve earned it.”

Immediately you let go, the cord inside finally getting permission to snap. Your essence gushed out of you and sprayed onto his shirt, soaking the fabric so much that if it were any other color than black Minho was sure it would stain.

Minho had never seen anyone cum so hard in his life, and it boosted his ego even more. It sent him hurdling quickly towards his own orgasm.

You were completely at his mercy, your mind was floating far from you and you let him manhandle you again, pushing your legs back as far as they could go by your head and he leaned back over you. His hips were snapping against you rigorously with his balls smacking your butt with each thrust.

You kept muttering little whispers of his name and ‘sir’ in his ear, your head falling to the side to show him your neck; a sign of utter submission. “Sir, bite.. Wan it…”

Every ounce of the betas self control was thrown out the window, your true omega self coming through as you surrendered to him being the final push. He buried his face onto the skin of your neck - though not your mating gland- and bit into you.

If you could describe it, his bite was like being doused in oil and set aflame; all consuming yet you welcomed the burn. You were shaking as you felt him deepen his bite, his teeth digging as far down as he could possibly get. He wanted his bite to leave a long lasting reminder of what happened here.

It was becoming too much for you, your core was clenching and spasming as you came for the second time in mere minutes. At the feeling of your palpitating walls clamped around him, Minho finally came with a snarling growl, teeth still latched onto you as his hips stuttered. Rope after rope of his burning hot cum entered you and filled you to the brim.

Minho finally let go of your neck with his teeth as he pulled back to look at you. Your eyes were droopy and your face was wet and your lips (along with your whole body) were trembling. You were a mess. A beautiful debauched mess. The most beautiful sight he had ever seen.

Min wasn’t looking much better. His skin had a sheen of sweat and his eyes were crazed. His mouth was dripping with your blood but he made no move to wipe it away.

There was a beat before either of you moved, though he could if he so desired, but Minho was beginning to become addicted to the way you felt wrapped around his length. He knew you probably couldn’t take any more at this time though. With a deep breath he slowly pulled out of you. You both could hear the squelch of your combined fluids cascading out of you like a waterfall.

You groaned when he exited you, your walls were so sensitive after the pounding he gave you.

“Shh baby, I know it hurts. You’re ok, omega.”His voice was soft and even as he petted your hair, “I’ll be right back, just take it easy for me.”

You whined again when the beta slipped off the bed, grabbing his boxes and leaving the room quickly. Only a few moments passed before he returned with a rag and a small first aid kit. In his absence he had cleaned the blood off his face. He approached you with a soft smile, “Hold still baby, need to clean you up.”

“Mhm” You mumbled, still clearly out of it.

Min first used the wet rag to clean you up between your legs, wiping you down of any left over cum and fluids. When he deemed you thoroughly cleaned he tossed the rag in the corner to deal with later. Then he brought out the antiseptic from the first aid kit. He dabbed a cotton pad in it then used it to dab at your fresh bite mark. You hissed at the sting, wanting to squirm away.

Minho cooed at you, “Nuh uh, gotta get the blood off so it doesn’t get infected. Lord only knows I’d never hear the end of it if it’s my bite that doesn’t heal.” He cynically murmured that last part but you still caught it, a little giggle coming from you as you slowly came too. “You did so good for me, ya know? Were the most perfect little omega.”

You purred at his praise, unable to stop the lovesick smile from etching into your lips. “Never thought I’d hear you say that.”

He scoffed lightly, not in malice but more so in disbelief. “ You’ve always been a perfect omega.” He finished cleaning your wound and put the kit to the side then he climbed on next to you.

He laid on his back and softly pulled you to rest on his chest as he pet your head. There was silence except for the sound of your breathing, but it wasn’t awkward. Oddly enough you found it comfortable as it gave you a moment to collect your thoughts. You imagined he was feeling similar.

You tentatively reached for his hand and he let you. He gave your hand a squeeze then loosened the hold, instead laying his hand flat against yours and comparing the difference in size. He played with them for a second, his fingers able to slightly curl over your tips.

“You have baby hands.”

You snorted at his sudden comment, then looked up at him to find him already gazing down at you. “Maybe that’s why you all call me baby.”

“Mmm” he hummed, still looking at you. “That among other things.”

“Like what?” You raised a brow curiously.

“Wouldn’t you like to know.” He laughed when you whined, “Ok, fine. We call you baby because we cherish you. You’re something worth caring for.”

His words made you pause, your hand tightened its grip on his hand and your other one fisted his shirt. That definitely was not the answer you were expecting. You honestly thought he was going to say something like ‘you cry a lot’ or ‘you whine too much’ and had mentally prepared for that answer. To know the real answer was something so genuine and romantic made your heart pound. Your lip began to wobble and the tears gathered on your lashes.

“That, and you whine too much.”

“Minho!” You smacked his chest lightly as he laughed. You were still crying and he brought a hand up to wipe it off your face.

“Aww don’t cry, baby.” He was cooing at you, “You’re gonna make me hard again.”

You brushed his hand away and buried your face in his chest. “Stooooop. You’re not funny.”

“Who’s joking?”

Your whole body heated from your bout of shyness and you refused to leave the safety of his chest, since you knew for a fact he would have that cute stupid smug look on his stupidly cute face.

“I couldn’t go again right now even if I wanted to. My body is exhausted.” Your words were muffled but he still heard them, bringing that cocky smirk to his face.

“So,” here we go, “ you’re saying I fucked you so good you physically can’t take anymore?”

“You are the worst!” You whined, shoving him but laughing all the same.

There was another pause. Min still never stopped his delicate touches on your head. Then he broke the silence again.

“You don’t really think I’m the worst, do you?” His voice was soft yet even, as if he was trying not to show too much emotion at the question, though you could tell this was something he was self conscious over.

“Oh Minho,” You lifted your head up to look into his eyes, though he refused to meet yours, instead staring straight ahead. “No, of course not. Not a single one of us thinks that.” Your hand went up to his chin, trying to tilt his face down so he could look at you.

“It’s not a secret I’m a little opinionated and hyphy. I know my attitude isn’t everyone's cup of tea. I mean, look at us, it took us how long to get here?”

“But we made it here!” You wanted to protest but still kept your tone light. “Min, the pack cares so deeply for you. They hold the utmost respect for you and love you.” You took a deep breath and closed your eyes tight. “And so do I.”

Silence

“Look at me.”

You shook your head, refusing his request.

“You’re going to have to look at me. Especially if you’re going to give me a claiming bite.”

That made you snap your eyes open. The beta sported a toothy grin, his beautiful bunny teeth on display for you.

“You-you want my bite too?” You sniffled, wiping your eyes again.

“Well, if not from the girl I love then who?” He was being WAY too casual about it but at the same time you could see the pink dusting on his cheeks. “Unless you don’t want to.”

“Minho” you blubbered into him again. You turned your body to be chest to chest with him and you threw your arms around him. “I want to! Wanna make you mine too, please!”

“Ok ok, baby don’t cry it’s alright.” He sat up higher so his back was against the headboard. He pulled you to climb into his lap fully, and you straddled his lap. He tilted his head to show more of his neck and he cradled you against him. “Be gentle with me, it’s my first time.”

Of course he had to make a joke out of it.

You chose to ignore his jest- though you did roll your eyes- and you started peppering his neck with little kisses. You wanted him to truly feel your love for him. He sighed in contentment and rubbed circles into your back. With your lips you mapped out the spot you would claim him then once your inner omega deemed it the perfect spot you bit down on him.

He twitched from the sensation, a quiet moan rumbling out of his throat and his hand finding your head, knotting in your hair and pressing you even harder into him. It’s as if he wanted you to bite down harder. You did as your instincts told you and bit with more force.

After lapping at the wound you remove yourself from him. Minho let you go as he found his breath, panting and eyes fluttering. His cheeks were beet red and his hair had fallen in his face. Honestly, he looked more fucked out now than he did after actually fucking. And he had never looked better.

Minho hugged you tight, then kissed you sweetly and got his own blood on his mouth but he didn’t seem to care. “Good girl.”

A little chirp escaped you, you were clearly very pleased with the turn of events. And so was Minho. After you helped him clean the bite and wiped up the blood the two of you snuggled on his bed together and talked. It was still hard for him to open up, but he did give you some insight into his brain about how he feels. In return you did the same. It was much overdo and very therapeutic for the both of you.

After another hour you heard the front door open and a cacophony of voices entered the house. Minho groaned when he heard it, “The idiots are back.” You laughed and rolled off of his chest. He picked up his forgotten phone and saw it was already late into the evening. “Ah shit, I have to start dinner.”

You whined and made grabby hands at him as he got off the bed. “Do you have too? I wanna cuddle some more.”

He grabbed his pants off the floor and slipped them back on, “Yes omega, someone has to feed the children. And I need to talk to Chan.” After his pants were back on he felt something small and hard in his pocket. He stuck his hand in and pulled out the little trinket he had gotten for you earlier in the day. “Though I have something to keep you company.” He handed you the little pink cat.

You squealed and pulled it up to your face to analyze it with a beaming smile. “How CUTE! Thank you so much!!”

He just pecked your cheek in response.

“Take all the time you want here baby. But soon Channie will probably come looking for you.”

You huffed and laid back on his bed. You were not excited for that conversation.

Chan watched as Minho hauled you off in the direction of his car. He had no idea what had occurred but he wanted to get to the bottom of it. He could smell the distress that radiated out of you and it made him wary and irate.

‘Today was supposed to be a good day, what the fuck happened?’

The alpha stalked off in search of Changbin. He offered people polite hellos and smiles to all the people who greeted him. He was a pillar in this town and needed to act like it especially in public. He found the younger alpha striding away from the games area with a frustrated furrow in his brow.

“Changbin.” Chan called to him and waved him over. He took notice of how Changbins face fell slightly at the sight of the elder, and he knew it to be a sign that something definitely went wrong here today. Changbin went over to Chan- albeit slowly- and came to stand in front of him. “Hey man, what is going on? I just ran into Min and baby and he said to come find you.”

Changbin bit his lip and blinked back the tears. Chan hadn’t seen him this emotional in a long time so he knew something was up.

“Hyung, I think I made a big mistake.”

Minho went down to the kitchen first. He took some meat out from the fridge and set it on the counter to rest then he went to find the alpha. It didn’t take long as Chan was looking for him too.

“Min.” He beckoned him to his office. Chan's face may have been hard to read but his eyes were steely. Once the door was closed he turned to the beta. “You saw him grab her?”

Minho nodded, “Yes.”

“You’re sure?”

“Yes Chan.” The beta clicked his tongue as he recalled it in his mind. “ He had his filthy hand on her arm and he tried to get her to go with him.”

“And she was scared?”

Minho nodded again. “Terrified. She didn’t want anything to do with him. If you had seen it you would have ripped his head off.”

The alpha growled “If it was me there then there wouldn't be a head left to rip off. I’m surprised you didn’t take a swing yourself.”

Min huffed, “There were a lot of people around. Though I was ready to put him in the ground if he didn’t back down.”

“Wooyoung… The name is familiar but I can’t place my finger on it.” Chan started pacing as he racked his brain.

“Changbin had been talking about him a lot. He was so happy to have made a new friend he wouldn’t shut up about it.” Minho rolled his eyes in distaste, “He didn’t know the guy would turn out to be a piece of shit.”

“But you knew, didn’t you?” Chan asked. “Bin said you could tell but you didn’t say anything.”

“I knew there was something funky about him, but I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt for Changbins sake.” Chan nodded at the betas words. Then he just had to ask. He smirked a little, “So what happened with you and omega after you got home?” He could clearly see the brand new claiming bite on the betas neck.

“Nothing much, we just worked out our differences.” He gave him a cheeky wink in return though he felt his face heat up. “Anyways, where is Bin? I didn’t hear him come in and usually he’s the first one I hear.”

Chan sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “He didn’t come home with us. He’s too ashamed of himself and said he wanted to walk home to think about how clueless he was.”

“How hard were you on him?”

“Well I wasn’t sunshine and daisies. But everything I said to him he had already been thinking to himself. He was definitely beating himself up over it.”

“Did you give him a punishment?” Chan nodded at the question. “What is it? Is it that he can’t touch Y/n like you did with Felix?”

“Worse.”

“Worse? What could be worse than that?”

“I took his car keys and forbade him from going to the gym for a week.”

“Oh my god he’s never going to come home.”

You didn’t come out immediately. You wanted to have a few moments to yourself to collect yourself and your thoughts. Eventually you knew you needed to make an appearance. You pulled on one of Minhos shirts that you took from his closet as you exited his room. You missed your boys and wanted to spend some time with them. You padded into the living room to find the four youngest boys sitting on the couches holding beers and laughing with each other.

Jisung was the first to notice you, yelling when you walked in the room. “There's my baby!” He was obviously drunk already, his eyes having trouble focusing on you as he giggled. “Come here gorgeous.”

“Hi Ji.” You giggled and walked over to him. He grabbed you and yanked you onto his lap, tickling you more when you laughed. “No no no!”

“Sungie don’t hog!” Felix whined from his place next to Jisung. “It’s not fair you’ve spent so much time with baby!”

“Not true! I have barely seen her!”

“Jisung, you literally had your tongue in her pussy this morning.” Seungmin deadpanned from across the room. “That’s more than we’ve had in days.”

Jeongin and Felix laughed as Jisung pouted, still holding on to you. You on the other hand were mortified.

“Don’t talk about me like I’m just a piece of meat for you to consume!”

That made all four of them burst out laughing at your plight.

“Aww baby, we know you're not just something to eat.” Felix cooed and unhooked Jisungs arms from you and hauled you onto his own lap. “We just all wanna spend time with you.�� Then he leaned into your ear and lowered his voice. “Though, if eating you out was an option right now I’d happily take it. I’m starving.”

You shivered at his husky and seductive voice in your ear. “Lixie..”

“But by the way you smell and who’s shirt you're wearing.. Not to mention this new bite mark on your neck- I’d say Min already had a taste today.”

“Stop it you!” You whined and pushed at his chest while he and the other boys cackled. “Since when are you the dirty one?!”

“M’ just teasing you baby. I’m happy you and Min made up. Now we can all be one big happy family.” He nuzzled into you.

At the mention of his name the beta appeared from the kitchen, wiping his hands on a kitchen towel. “Quit being literal menaces to society and go set the table. Dinner is done.”

The three boys around you groaned and got to their feet and shuffled to the dining room. You went to follow but were held back by Felix. “Lix we gotta help.”

“Nah they got it. Just want a minute alone with my love.” He kissed you tenderly and you reciprocated. This boy was too sweet to refuse him. “Mm I love you baby.”

“I love you too Lixie.” You kissed him again and he smiled against your lips.

“Felix! Come help!”

“Oop! Gotta go baby or he’s gonna cook me next.”

You made your way to the table to see Chan and the other boys (minus Felix) all helping and sitting down. Chan smiled at you as you entered the room, reaching a hand out for you. You grabbed on to it and let him pull you into a kiss.

“Hi baby. Are you feeling better?”

You nodded, “Yes Channie. Min took good care of me and I feel much better.”

“Min? We left you with Binnie, didn’t we?” Hyunjin asked, looking at the youngest boy for confirmation. “Were you that sick you had to come home?”

“Oh uh, well-” You stuttered but were cut off.

“You moron, don’t mention Changbin right now. There's a reason he’s not here.” Seungmin scoffed, picking up some food and serving it on his plate.

It was then you noticed there was one empty seat at the table. Changbin had not come home. Chan noticed how forlorn you looked when you saw the empty chair. He cleared his throat to get everyone's attention. “We are not having this conversation right now. Changbin is not here on his own volition. That is all you need to know right now.” He was using his alpha voice to make his point known and they all nodded in understanding.

No one brought it up again for the whole of dinner. They all carried on like nothing happened at all. Everyone except you. You couldn’t stop staring at the empty space at the table, and feeling guilty. You wished Changbin was here. You wanted to hold him and hear his loud contagious laughter. Your heart felt heavy with him being gone. Chan noticed your mood- of course he did- but he didn’t want to bring it up any further at the dinner table.

Instead he waited until the dinner was complete. As soon as you were done eating he stood from his spot at the head of the table and came to your side. He scooped you into his arms, chuckling when you shrieked. “Hush now. I need my omega now.”

The other guys hooted and hollered at you both as he carried you up the stairs.

“Channie.. I’m too sensitive down there right now.” You murmured, your face aflame.

He plopped you on his bed, then sat down next to you. “Oh baby, I know Min probably did some work on your poor kitty huh?” You nodded, and tried to hide your embarrassment. “We do need to talk, though my love. I need to know exactly what happened and what that bastard said to you.”

As much as you didn’t want too, you knew your alpha needed to hear it from your own lips. So with a deep breath and a lot of tears, you recounted the experience. From start to finish he just let you talk. He was patient when you got choked up at the part about being grabbed, even though you could feel the rage that brewed inside of him at the thought of a man outside our pack laying a finger on you.

If there was one thing Chan knew for certain, it was that someday soon, Wooyoung would pay for his indecencies. He would make sure of that.

Alternate smut scene

Comments and reblogs are very much appreciated!

Also if any one wants to chat about the story or share predictions please send me an ask!!

Beta read by my loves @ayejaii and @jehhskz <3

©doitforbangchan

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imfoive · 4 months ago

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⟢ my works are sfw unless stated otherwise. ⟢ interactions, feedback & likes/reblog are greatly appreciated! ⟢ next chapter, always linked at the bottom of previous* ⟢ all works somewhat proofread, notify me about any mistakes. ⟢ ask to be tagged! / removed ⊹ one-shot masterlist SERIES ──────────────────────────

⟢ Crystal Bird ── BANG CHAN ╱ on-going Genre: Royal au! Crown Prince! Chan, Angst, Romance, Historical, hidden identity, slow-burn Warnings: mentions of blood, war, death, cursing, more in chapters Synopsis: The Crown Prince is saved by the Princess of a rival kingdom, and he swears his second life to his savior. A forbidden friendship no one knew of, grows deeper with every secret meeting. As the two are kept apart, memories of their sunset playdates by the serene river, begin blossoming into something beautiful. Cheeks blushed, stomach butterflies fluttered at the thought of each other. Years of yearning and imagining had only made them crave a sweeter reunion. And finally meeting at a Royal banquet, he could only stare at the now grown Princess, taken by her beauty, while she only watches as he gives his heart to the wrong princess.

Prologue / Chapter 1 / Chapter 2 / Chapter 3 / Chapter 4 / Chapter 5 / Chapter 6 / Chapter 7 / Chapter 8 / Chapter 9

⟢ The Youngest Son ── LEE MINHO ╱ complete Genre: non-idol au!, Suspense, Angst, Romance, Revenge, Mature Warnings: morally-gray Minho, mentions of drugs, cursing, death, suggestive, more in chapters Synopsis: The youngest son of the Lee family was stubborn, he was arrogant, he was conniving. Hiding it all behind the mask of a calm and collected man, the youngest son was a master at mind games. Playing a dangerous game where trust is a luxury and betrayal lurks around every corner. He had sworn once, to not let family ties or any feelings hold him back. Yet, against all odds, she had him completely wrapped around her fingers, and he had no desire to break free. [ a HSC story ]

Chapter 1 / Chapter 2 / Chapter 3 / Chapter 4 / Chapter 5 / Chapter 6 / Chapter 7 / Chapter 8 / Chapter 9 / Chapter 10

⟢ Trophy Husband ── HWANG HYUNJIN ╱ on-going Genre: Arranged Marriage au!, Marriage of Convenience-ish, Romance, Angst, Frenemies-to-Lovers, NSFW (mdni) Warnings: mentions of cursing, cheating, more in chapters Synopsis: Two individuals with polar opposite lifestyles are thrown into an arranged marriage for the benefit of both their families, or so they claim. One is a frivolous playboy, living off familial wealth, while the other is an overly controlling workaholic. Navigating their marriage with a business-like approach, their relationship is marked by a whirlwind of bickering, banter, and societal pressures. Amid misunderstandings, they uncover layers of unexpected qualities, eventually discovering a sweet love neither saw coming. [ a HSC story ]

Chapter 1 / Chapter 2 / Chapter 3 / Chapter 4

⟢ One and Only ── LEE FELIX ╱ coming soon Genre: Forbidden Love au! Childhood Friends-to-Lovers, Angst, Romance, Slightly NSFW (mdni) Warnings: tbd Synopsis: The young master had finally returned home from abroad, only to find himself inexplicably drawn to the daughter of the family’s servant, his once-childhood friend. As children they were oblivious to the weight of wealth, ranks, social status. As adults they were painfully aware of such divide. Still, they couldn’t help but let their gazes wander, their touches linger. A charged connection that neither could deny the existence of, one that may just dare to rewrite the rules. [ a HSC story ]

⟢ Updated: 11/23/24

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ DO NOT PLAGIARIZE, REPOST, REUPLOAD MY WORK. I ONLY POST ON TUMBLR; @IMFOIVE

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veevei · 2 months ago

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DAWN IN THE ADAN

megumi fushiguro x reader smau

tags or somthing: fem reader, streamer! au, no curses! au, streamer reader, streamer megumi, everyone is… ig idk.., kys jokes, i also use the word bitch alot, i think its a funny word, me trying to convince you to not read this and be disappointed, this is my first fic. like ever, so idk what im doing… NOTHING is thought through i am completely makijg this up as i go… sorryyyy, the song “dawn in the adan” by inchiko aoba had no purpose in this smau i just needed a title, everyones in college, probably ooc, they dont even talk to eachother until like ch 25 😭🙏

nothing is proof read… and you can tell…, i also have horrible grammar. im failijg DNGLISH ..sorry to everyone who CANNOT read this 🙏 changed the name from “not anywhere” to “amoeba” (briefly) to “dawn in the adan”. indecisive ass, this actually sucks im so srs. i use “…” after like every word.. sorry… i made a mistake because no one else other than megumi and yn has private accounts but im too far gone to fix it, mitski. nobamaki truther, i use those freaking bear reaction pics theyre so cute, like a bunch of filler chapters, maki ooc (it gets worse)

status: ongoing

stupid idoits

cutie pies (and megumi)

1: chipotle 🤤

2: old friend

3: pink hair

4: maki?

5: mario party!!

6: I DONT WANT TOOO 😭

7: its itadori!

8: lair

9: what is with u

10: PROLLY NOT

11: we 3

12: you tell them girl!

13: friyay

14: im tinking

15: stop looking at meeee!!!!!!!😭

16: interrogating

17: IM GOING TO KILL YOU!!!!

18: has he always been there?

19: sucks to suck honestly

20: kinda gay but i support ig

21: thank you kugisaki

22: whatever

23: dunno

24: stinky allegations

25: minecraft

26: everypony

27: alone

28: what’s up w u

29: happy

30: WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN

31: morose

32: distraction

33: trust me!

34: somethings fishy here…

35: cafe plans pt 2

36: anime girl khs

37: stop fighting!!!!!

38: bas

39: ho is you lesbians

40: blood on yns hands

41: herro?

42: knowalgeable

43: i hate women fr..

44: GAF

45: TIGHT?

46: 👿

47: FUCK STRAIGHT MEN!

48: #womaninmaledominatedfields

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remiivu · 11 days ago

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Ghostly Companion- Chapter 1

Link on Ao3! Currently rated Teen but may go up to Mature/Explicit

Masterlist Next Chapter -->

A Mr. Crawling x Reader fic (that may expand into a series!)

This is the first time that I've written anything like this in the past 5 years, so give me some slack if it's bad or cringey lol (also the first fic on Tumblr!)

Set in the ending (and series of events) where you take him home! I've done a few playthroughs so some parts may not be fully accurate, but I'll do my best!

No warnings-- just some minor cursing here and there. 1.8k words!

Enjoy!

Note: Words in italics are in the ghost language. The blocks represent words reader doesn't understand.

You…

Honestly, you weren’t quite sure what happened these past 24 hours. Half of your now fully-conscious brain had settled on this being some sort of twisted hallucination you experienced after inhaling the noxious spores from some weird mushroom during your bravery challenge. But, the other, half-insane half-sane side of your mind simply cannot deny the manifestation of your nightmares sitting right across from you, a sharp smile stretching from ear to ear and a mop of strangely neat black hair swallowing its figure.

It? He? That, too, was something you didn’t know. Hell, the thing never stood up, and the noises that creaked from its throat were far from human.

But… It was nice. It helped you. It followed you, shielded you, and the pure, radiant happiness it exuded when you proposed, in broken ghostly-language, for it to join you hardly came across as malicious or non-sentient. It had feelings, and while some parts were… wrong, surely, it was owed some sort of humanity, you reasoned.

And so, it became a he, and then a Mr. Crawling-- the highlight of your creativity, truly. You doubted he understood the significance of the slightly different noises coming out of your mouth as you called to him, but still, it was the least you could do.

“... not… go?” He asked, head tilted as he sat patiently on the ground, lanky grayed limbs bent awkwardly into some mix between a w-shape and a regular sitting position. You think he said something else as well, but honestly, you were exhausted, and you hadn’t really had much time to truly learn his language.

“...” You sighed again, looking at him, then your surroundings. You had popped out right where you had started– or somewhere near it, at least, as you recognized the spooky decorations nailed and wrapped around trees. You were back in the forest you had entered before being sucked into… something. At least the light rain had stopped, leaving damp soil and the smell of petrichor to fill your senses instead of the… yeah.

Well, besides, you had nothing on you. Right– it was all in your bag that, for some reason, wasn’t brought alongside the rest of you.

“Need…” you paused, hesitating. How did you say bag? Scrounging through all the corners of your mind left you with a blank, and you searched for the next best thing.

Which would be bucket. Fuck.

Mr. Crawling tilted his head the other way, mouth flattening slightly in what you presume to be confusion. “You… ∎∎∎” he uttered something that didn’t spark a single click of recognition in your brain. “∎∎∎… ∎∎∎. ∎∎∎∎∎∎. Help?”

You gave one nod. “Yeah, help. Uhm… bucket… “ You made the attempt of drawing out what it looked like in the dirt while ignoring the small amount of embarrassment that rose in your chest at your horrific attempt to communicate.

You jabbed at the middle of the drawing of your rather simple bag. “Uh- blood.” You muttered, figuring it was the closest thing to whatever the actual word for red was.

Mr. Crawling frowned a bit, then chirped a “Me help you ∎∎∎ bucket! ∎∎∎ ∎∎∎∎?” With a much more pleasant smile.

You nodded, “Yeah, thanks. Ok, so… I guess we’ll split up?”

Mr. Crawling stared blankly with that dopey smile and you sighed, standing up. You felt a little bad for making a… disabled ghost? Yeah, a disabled ghost do some of the work. Shoeless and possibly pant-less

Damn. You’ve stooped down low these past few hours.

_____________________________

Honestly, you were surprised at just how efficient a disabled ghost was when left in the dark, blind, and in an environment he’s never been in before. Just as you were about to give up and start heading back into civilization, you heard a gleeful, familiar bone-chilling giggle followed by “Me ∎∎∎ bucket blood!”

Your head shoots up, “You did?!” As you rushed off to the bushes where he had wandered off.

You let out a sigh of relief as you spotted the familiar bag, grabbing it from Mr. Crawling’s hands. “Thank you,” you smiled, weary but grateful, as Mr. Crawling giggled once again.

“Happy! Happy!” He said, reaching out to pat your head again.

You found yourself letting out a small laugh as well at the unusually tender action, giving your bag a quick once-over to confirm everything was there. When you spotted your phone, you quickly tapped on the screen, letting out a quick breath of relief as it lights up only for it to immediately be followed by a small wince.

Over 50 missed calls and 100 messages… yikes. And with a glance at the time and date, you understood why. Turns out, your sense of time was rather accurate– it had been just over a day since your disappeared.

“Hurt? You hurt?” Mr. Crawling asked, leaning in close to do his ghost-equivalent of looking. Honestly, you can’t be bothered to question why, how, or even what he’s seeing when all you’ve noticed on his face was a deep red wound in place of his eyes.

“No,” You shake your head. “Uhm. It’s, uhm, humans. Humans worry… no– me worry humans.” You explained the best you could, standing up again. Mr. Crawling looks up, confused.

“You safe.” He says, crawling towards you rather slowly. “Humans ∎∎∎?”

You shake your head. “Go together with me.” You say with a bit of force. The desire to get home and in bed overshadows much of anything else that could run through your mind.

Mr. Crawling, however, doesn’t seem to mind your curtness, breaking out into another small fit of uncanny giggles as he follows after you, letting out a small mantra of “Together together together together!”

With half fondness and half exasperation, you trudge on with a smile, feeling like this experience was more akin to a person walking their dog rather than a human leading a ghost to their home. Which… you choose to think about another day. You really, really don’t want to contemplate any more images of your death.

You were so tired.

But, after nearly half an hour of much slower-than typical walking, your patience was wearing thin.

As it turns out, disabled ghosts walk– crawl much slower on slippery, uneven terrain than their familiar concrete floors. You’ve had to slow significantly so that Mr. Crawling wouldn’t get too tangled up in roots and rocks, and a part of you worried for the safety of his bare legs, but every passing glance resulted in a tiny glimpse of smooth, unharmed skin. You assume he was taking extra care to ensure he doesn’t get hurt.

But, still, every passing hour drains your phone’s limited battery and therefore your limited ability to navigate through whatever area of the city you wind up in upon exiting the mountains. You really couldn’t afford to keep slowing down or to risk losing your understanding of where to walk by circling around roots and trees. They had passed most of the decorations by now, leaving only trees and the very faint noise of any rare passing cars.

Eventually, you kneel back down, waving at him to get his attention. “Mr. Crawling.” You hum, watching as he perked up.

“∎∎∎!” He chirped, getting to your position in a few seconds.

“Me…” You hesitate. “... Me you… up.” You said, staring at him to see whether or not he understood. You were sure that, without… a lot of things necessary for life, he would be light enough for you to carry. Sure, you weren’t the fittest of the bunch, but you were healthy and exercised. In fact, you’re sure that your physical health was the only reason you lasted that long in that death trap.

His head tilted, then he grinned. “... Me you ∎∎∎?”

You sighed, contemplating. That was a vaguely familiar word, and you could almost hear something else in your memories having said it.

But before you could actually responded, Mr. Crawling lunged up at you, bringing you down to the ground in one swift motion. You let out a scream, your throat raw and strained by now, but settled in once you realized where you were.

“Mr. Crawling, what are you–?” You let out a half-scream of shock as he began to scoot across the floor with his legs, holding you firmly in his lap, cold yet sturdy arms caging you in.

He giggled, “Me ∎∎∎! Me ∎∎∎ you!”

Your jaw dropped, and then the word clicks– carry! Well, carry or lift or hold– something along those lines. You remembered that decapitated head speaking it. The head that you had left behind in the hands of that… goat thing.

“Me carry you!” Mr. Crawling giggled, and honestly, if it weren’t for the fact that this was twice as slow as their previous pace (an actual snail’s pace) you might’ve just stayed here and squeezed a nap in.

“Wait, no– no!” You wiggled, trying to loosen his arms. You couldn’t– not through sheer force, as his arms felt like stone bricks, but he loosened his hold on his own, leaning in far too close and spewing out a cycle of: “Hurt? Hurt? Damaged? You sad?”

You sighed, shaking your head. Well, at least now you know the word. “No, me carry you. Me carry you.” You said, trying to convey through hand motions that it would be faster.

Then… Mr. Crawling giggled. Laughed. Directly at your face. “You carry me? Me ∎∎∎, you ∎∎∎!”

In your heart, you knew you were being laughed at, and you felt heat rushing to your ears as you sputtered in indignation. “What– listen, I can carry you! You’re not even alive, so you probably don’t have water or blood or any other thing in you that makes you as heavy as–”

“Cute!” Mr. Crawling cooed with another giggle, playing with your ears, his fingers gentle despite how coarse they felt. The coolness of them actually felt… nice against your burning ears.

You balked, “You–!”

Your breath was interrupted as cement arms wrapped around you again and his butt-scooting continued.

“Hey, I– !”

“You ∎∎∎ rest!” He said happily, strong legs picking up the pace and pushing small mounds of dirt across the forest floor.

Well… that was actually amendable. Maybe you’d get to the city before sunrise at this pace.

“Rest rest!” He said, one arm reaching up to pat your head. “You ∎∎∎! You rest! You safe.”

You let out another sigh, though you hardly put any heart into it, leaning against him more as you felt the rhythmic stop and push of him quite literally dragging the both of us to safety.

A disabled ghost… helping a fully-capable human move.

You snort, letting your eyes fall shut.

What has your life become?

And that's all! Thank you so much for stopping by! If you're interested, I just wanted to add some notes for anybody paying a bit more attention to minor details in this fic.

Yes, the reader is exhausted and far too tired to ask why a ghost who "can't use his legs" is currently using them as a motor to propel them across the forest floor. Give them some slack! They nearly died about 3 times lmao. (And I have mentally planned out a timeframe where they realize this exact piece of info)

I am aiming for the reader to be completely G/N (for our rare male players) but I may slip up and call them she/her or accidentally follow the canon a bit too closely.

Honestly, while it is based in Japan, most of my understanding outside of some rare visits comes from anime. So, in my head, the local high school was hosting a bravery challenge up in the forest on the mountains and the reader was dragged along with their friends (reader is a working young adult, ~25 years old). In my world, the city they live in is maybe 40 minutes away from that specific area in the mountains. I'm contemplating making the reader American-Japanese (who resides in the US and visited Japan for a vacation to meet up with old friends, or something like that).

Yes, I know that "bucket" in the ghost language isn't correct (the correct word is "container" or something more vague like that) but I can't recall if the reader gets to go to the SOS room on this route where Mr. Crawler refers to the pencil case/make-up bag with that same word, so their only experience would be learning the word through buckets with Mr. Hood.

I may accidentally call Mr. Crawling "Mr. Crawler." I'm pretty sure I haven't done that in this fic, but this is simply a warning for the future lmao.

That's all! Thanks again!^^

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#mr crawling #x reader #homicipher #mr crawling x reader #mr crawling x you

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ariseur · 12 days ago

Text

✧˖° - DESIDERIUM.

ᡣ𐭩ྀིྀི₊ ⊹ - featuring ; satoru gojo x fem!reader, slight hints of suguru geto x fem!reader

ᡣ𐭩ྀིྀི₊ ⊹ - synopsis ; “ for what is love if not brought back grief but just a little bit smaller? ” satoru wonders as he thinks about the time you got away from him, little does he know it’s eating you up inside everyday.

ᡣ𐭩ྀིྀི₊ ⊹ word count ; 13.7k words, 74.2k characters

ᡣ𐭩ྀིྀི₊ ⊹ cw ; sfw, fem!reader, fluff to angst with little comfort, canon au, not proofread, interchanging povs but for reader it’s always second person, technically need a pt2 but lmk if u guys want it, not proofread, mainly satoru x reader but hints of sashisu x reader for a while, spoilers / allusions / mentions of jjk 0 and later manga chapters ( after suguru’s left obv ), mentions and cameo from kenny later, canon character death, mentions of smoking, mentions of blood and typical canon violence, mature language, intended lowercase

ᡣ𐭩ྀིྀི₊ ⊹ notes ; ( request linked here !!) wow so this has been sitting in my inbox for a few months now, this was actually requested but i forgot to link it to the post so this idea was brought to us by the wonderful @skypperlegacy — sobbing in my bed writing this i hope you all enjoy. ( edit: i wrote this note on 8/24 and i’m assuming i’m posting this AFTER my birthday, so take this as a little treat for not posting for my birthday ^.^ )

ᡣ𐭩ྀིྀི₊ ⊹ notes (2) ; it is currently 10/26. i have not finished this yet either. what the hell is wrong with me

ᡣ𐭩ྀིྀི₊ ⊹ notes (final) ; i did it. i finished it. 11/13 oh my days i finally completed this thing. i didn’t even flesh out the full idea so lmk if you guys want more of sad pathetic gojo and reader

i. sunlit hallways in 2005

your footsteps bounce off of the walls of the hallway, sun rays ricocheting off the floor and projecting onto your body as you make your way to your classroom. your eyes zip around in every direction as you tried to scan the room numbers to try and find the one yaga had referred you to. you grimace at his booming voice replaying in your memory talking about these two boys who were supposed to help you — idiots he referred to them as. ‘strong idiots’.

you assume you’d be heading into the classroom with the most noise in it, as the sound of muffled chattering pricks your ears from beyond the sliding door of the homeroom to your left. a long exhale leaves your lips, your shoulders rolling backwards in an attempt to try and alleviate the weird pressure that settled upon them before your fingers find the little slot that allowed it to open the door, cursing yourself as a loud squeak emits from your action.

you scrunch your eyes shut in a wincing manner, taking in the silence before peeking an eye open to see two boys — which you presume were the ones that yaga had mentioned to you. both of your eyes shoot open at the sound of a small laugh, seeing a boy with spectacles and snow white hair snickering to himself while his friend shook his head at him and instead greets you with a small smile.

you clear your throat. “are you suguru geto and satoru gojo?”

they nod, the dark-haired boy scooting out of his seat to get up and properly greet you while the other lazily grins at you, the cerulean lenses of his gracing his face and framing his teasing gaze behind a deep blue. “geto,” the former gestures to himself, “and this is gojo,” his hand waves over to the seemingly brash boy who stands beside him, giving a small wave as his hands come to intertwine behind his back.

you lean forward, ducking your head as you bow out of respect for your new classmates. hair falling in front of your face, you introduce yourself quietly as you hear small shuffles emerging towards you until sheen black shoes come into your peripheral.

lifting your head up a little further, you’re met with the bright face of ‘satoru gojo’, the name striking a familiar cord within your brain. gojo, you think, as in the gojo clan? however, you don’t get to ponder on that for too long before he chuckles at your expression — clearly somewhat impressed with his appearance. either that, or you’re completely freaked out. although, gojo’s pride would only let him choose the former.

“so,” the boy, gojo, begins, “are you the little shrimp yaga-sensei told us we’d be looking after?”

you press your lips together in a soft frown, before your eyebrows furrow with the small huff that left you as geto smacks the back of his palm against his friend’s chest. “‘m not a shrimp, you know — not even that much shorter than you.”

as if to further prove his point, you get an eyeful of white hair as he leans down to meet your eyes, just barely but enough to provide the message. “yeah?” he breathed. his grin makes you nauseous, pearly whites on display and dimmed with the backlit centered illumination giving him a frontal shadow. you tilt your nose up at him before holding his own gaze, his bright ceruleans on display as you replied with a passive-aggressive, “yeah.”

geto laughs, pressing his arm against his friend’s chest to get him to back away from you, the intense scent of cypress and a deep sea breeze no longer engulfing your senses. soft snickers instead fill your ears as gojo stuffs his hands into the pant pockets of his uniform before slipping past you with a hum. geto follows in suit.

you turn your head back to the open doorway, seeing the boys make their way out before gojo turns to you once more. “you coming or what, shrimp?”

you groan under your breath and he smiles at your reaction, now no longer in your sight as he turns the corner; struggling to hold back a grin at the quick footsteps that trail behind him with a hesitant, “hold— hold on a sec! i’m not a shrimp!”

“you are too.”

“are not,” you huff.

his eyes trail up towards the ceiling for a second, tapping his chin as he feigns a long, hard thought before cracking out into another smile. “are too.”

this game continues for a while, and you almost feel bad for geto — except the little game of chicken that you and his counterpart had going on was taking up more of your attention at the moment. with his obnoxiously long legs, gojo purposefully takes wide strides to try and tease you at least a little bit, having you make more of an effort to keep up — just because you’re new doesn’t mean that you should be let off the hook so easily, he thinks.

“are too—“

“these are the dorms,” suguru interjects, his tone clearly exasperated at this point. a few minutes of walking and the poor man felt like it was hours of meaningless boredom.

your eyes follow the direction of geto’s finger over the trail of doors that lay before you. he leans his head forward, the golden sunlight capturing his face as a few strands of raven hair from his bun slip out from their ties. “my dorm’s on the very end right there,” he gestures his head to the door at the corner, “satoru’s is two down to the left.”

speaking of him, gojo slings an arm around your shoulders; keeping a firm grip even with only his bicep as you try to squirm away. “don’t worry, i’m sure yaga’ll help you in no time. by the end of the day, you’ll be lazing around in a nice bed with your feet kicked up, thinking about how you met the most beautiful man ever today,” he says to you.

“don’t you think it’s a little weird to call your friend the most beautiful man ever?”

to gojo’s horror, geto snickers from behind him.

“you’re a sassy one, aren’t you. .” he mutters under his breath, a sigh escaping him as the warmth of his arm leaves your shoulders and is instead met with the cool air conditioning of the halls, only the sun’s peeking through the windows warming you up. he takes a step near his friend, hands stuffed in his pockets once again. “well, you can always stop by whenever you do get your dorm, i’ll always be here,” he singsongs. you fake gag at his playful wink.

geto steps towards you, leaning into you as he mumbles a little too loudly ( whether that was on purpose or not remained unknown ), “don’t worry, the girls’ wing is on the other side — luckily you won’t have to see that idiot all the time.” you laugh at your eyes trail to gojo’s small pout from behind the boy, his shoulders deflating instantly once he realized he was left out.

“hey, so like, can we not bully me for today? just once?” he chimes in, tilting his head to the side a bit in question. you and geto share one last glance and laugh together before he walks ahead of you again, gojo lagging behind so you’d walk next to him as well.

he couldn’t help but glance at you, noticing how you keep your eyes trained in front of you. only occasionally flitting to the window to admire the outside scenery. it wasn’t everyday that they got a new student, and if they did, they never lasted long. despite still only being a first year, geto and gojo adapted to the harsh environments of jujutsu society — fully aware of the consequences and what it would take to save non-sorcerers. which only made gojo all the more curious as to why you were here.

“pervert, quit staring at me.”

“hey, people would pay for these eyes on them — you’re a lucky girl, today,” he explains, bumping his shoulder with yours. you glare at him. his smile doesn’t falter.

“so do all new recruits get this treatment or what?” you chide, putting a hand on your hip comfortably as you walk. he hums for a moment. “nah,”. he decides, “you’re special,” his grin only widens the more you banter, bright blue eyes mimicking yours in a sharp narrowing. you hold his gaze for a bit, before ultimately deciding it wasn’t worth it — turning your head with a low, ‘tch’ as you keep your feet moving. gojo does the same.

they walk you around the campus, showing you the track field and the direction in which the girls’ wing is, telling you to report back to them once yaga had assigned you a room, gojo urging you to invite him over one day to which geto nudges the back of his leg with his shoe. and at the end of the day you’re left with a small wave goodbye to your new classmates, smiles on their faces as they walk off back into the dorms; leaving you to roam around with the new-known information.

you look back at the stone arch of the school’s entrance, the stone pathway beneath your feet as you squint from the brightness of the sun just beyond the horizon. a perfect point of which the ground and the sky meet.

you can feel the blocks of sunlight on your chest as you take one last look at it, face softening at the sight.

gojo takes one last look behind him to check on you, seeing your frame simply stand and soak up the golden skies. his lips only quirk the slightest bit upwards, geto quirking a brow beside him only to let an amused breath out at his best friend’s infatuation. “don’t start going all mushy on me now, satoru.”

said friend turns his head back ( geto notices how he takes one last quick glance back before fully rotating his head ) and scoffs, “no way.” geto merely hums and closes his eyes, a knowing feeling growing in his stomach. “she is kinda cute, you know,” gojo mumbles — closing his eyes when geto opens his own to look at the boy dubiously.

he, too, looks back at you only to find you walking off to another section of the high school; presumably to go and talk to yaga to find out where the hell your dorm would be. he chuckles. “don’t ruin another friendship for us by going a little too far with the flirting, this time.”

the snow-haired boy stays quiet at that, creating a small lull in the conversation only filled by the clacking of shoes against pavement. the sun on the nape of his neck slowly eases up with how it lowers beyond the skyline, small beads of sweat slowly seeping back into his skin before he huffs. “can you believe the way she talked to me?” geto looks over to him once more. “‘yeah’, who does she think she is talking to us like that?” gojo makes a dumb face as he mimics you, hands on his hips momentarily as he mocks the way you stood — it was surprising how he was the one saying this.

geto snickers. “you mean the way she talked to you.”

“whatever,” his classmate responds with a yawn, being able to crack a small smile at geto’s laughs of amusement at his frustration ( or how gojo would call it, his ‘suffering’ ). “you’ll learn to like her eventually,” he chides. his friend stays quiet at that once more.

gojo tilts his head up at the darkening sky. he swears he can feel the sun on his chest, too.

ii. the way the clouds shape us

“special grade? guess satoru was wrong about you being a shrimp,” the sound of geto’s laughter fills the air, thin fingers handing you back your student id as you pocketed the small, white card back in the pocket of your uniform.

“he doesn’t know what he’s talking about,” you shake your head, placid smile painted on your lips. geto leans against the tree, careful not to ruin his sleek hair against the chipped bark. he watched as you lifted your hands up to the sky. you extend your fingers and stretch them out — watching as the light blue of the sky above you illuminates your open-faced palm and casts a shadow for the rest of your arm.

gojo wasn’t wrong, you were definitely beautiful. even geto knew it, taking in the way your hair splayed out delicately against the vibrant grass, as he could hear the distant chatter of his other two best friends making their way towards you two. you had to thank gojo for this, considering he was the found who found this little safe haven in the first place.

over the past few months ( even if you joined a little later than halfway through the actual school year ), it became quite comfortable for you to chat with these newfound friends of yours. you quickly got along with ieiri, much to gojo’s dismay as he has discovered you two make the best team against him with your sharp words towards him. he’d savor the way you’d lean in and tell him you were never really serious afterwards ( even though he was well aware of that fact, he’d like knowing you still didn’t want to really hurt his feelings ). it really felt like home when you were with them, a sanctuary only for the four of you.

with your eyes flitting closed, geto finally tears his eyes from you to gaze at the duo approaching the two of you, gojo whining about something like usual as shoko barely humored him with the little tolerance she had left; a pale cigarette hanging from between her lips.

you relish in the sun on your skin, lessened from the months before that first day you came to tokyo’s jujutsu high as you’ve adapted. you must adapt in order to survive. you realize that now, which is why you indulge in the small moments you can get — even if it’s just silence with geto or the fact that suddenly, even behind closed eyelids, the sun was gone.

allowing your lashes to flutter open, you see a familiar brunette stand above you. a combination of the sweet, earthy tones emitting from the dewy grass below you and her perfume suddenly hit your nose, surprising but definitely not unpleasant. you hummed, eyebrows furrowed.

she laughs, “eh? you two are just out here without us?”

“sigh,” you roll your eyes at gojo who audibly says the word ‘sigh’, “so inconsiderate, you two.”

geto laughs, resting his hands upon his stomach as he closes his eyes — nose twitching with the leftover pollen floating along with the soft, spring breeze down from its habitat within the trees and the plants enclosing you all.

he doesn’t exactly fall asleep, especially in such an uncomfortable position. but he makes peace with this discomfort and instead seeks refuge in his own place of serenity, only him and his thoughts ( and the quiet chatter of you and shoko ganging up on your white-haired friend ).

you exhale smoothly through your nose, a breath of fresh air leaving your lungs as you stare up at your friend, a smirk threatening to unleash itself on her face even from behind the cancer stick. “those things kill, you know,” you playfully chastise her, watching as she chuckles before crouching down.

she slips the cigarette from past her mouth, the end stained glossy and pink from that one lip product you always forget the brand of, before offering the smoke to you between her two fingers. she hums as you take the tube, the material dry against your lips. “might as well while we’re still alive and young,” she says — and the morbidity of the question no longer bothers you like it would have a few months earlier. instead, you actually chuckle at her dry delivery. you struggle not to choke with your laid back position as you hold it before letting it escape you, a hot puff of smoke emitting in the air.

“so, what’re we doing today?” a pair of lanky, slack-clad legs come into your peripheral along with a familiar mop of snowy hair before it disappears, his voice trailing off as he sits next to geto. you prop yourself up on your elbows, squinting at the sudden bright light as shoko sits beside you inside.

you crack a small smile at the feeling of her fingertips messing with the ends of your hair, shaking out the small bits of grass that got stuck in the delicate strands. gojo, however, thinks you’re smiling at him so he grins in return before your smile is soon replaced with an unsure expression — almost like you’re gonna throw up just from looking at him. he still doesn’t falter.

“what do you think we should do?” you ask after a bit, thanking ieiri under your breath as she’s done helping you primp.

“what if we go to the convenience store for a bit and get some snacks? i was thinking—“

“boringg..” shoko’s thoughts are interrupted by gojo’s loud interruption, her face immediately dropping as she looks at him. “hey, you don’t have to show off in front of your girlfriend every day, y’know,” she shoots back.

he pouts at the brunette, his shoulders deflating as his hands come up to his face to mimic a fake tear rolling down his cheek. a nervous huff escapes you as you look between her, geto, and gojo before you start, “he’s not m—“

“how about we go to the arcade in shinjuku city? they close in like,” he checks the imaginary watch on his wrist ( whether he didn’t know he had interrupted you or he didn’t want you to finish your thought was something you didn’t understand ), “two hours, i guess.”

you roll your neck around on your shoulders, sighing at the low cracks that escape your aching bones. eager for some activity, you shrug. “hate to admit it, but that might be the greatest idea gojo’s ever had.”

to that, he beams. you hear a duet of groans come from your other two friends. “aw, c’mon. don’t give into him so easily,” geto chides playfully.

“not to brag—“

“—all you do is brag, gojo—“

“—but i, personally, think i have a ton of great ideas.”

geto tips head back and laughs. you see the way his eyelids twitch and scrunch with his soft smile, outer corners crinkling as the airy sound frees itself from him. he crosses his arms. “that’s why you personally think that, im afraid ‘s not a very common opinion,” he answered calmly. gojo sulks as he looks to shoko for help. she shrugs and puffs out another cloud of smoke between the small opening she’s created on the side of her mouth.

“we can always bully him some other time, i’m bored and i’m practically losing years off of my life just listening to him,” you mutter to her — perhaps a little too loud as you see gojo’s jaw drop open from your peripheral.

geto gets up, dusting the damp pieces of grass sticking to his pants and the back of his legs before taking a big stretch. you wrap your arm around the other, extending your elbow and mimicking his motions as you let out a sigh at the feeling of weary muscles ( which you can already tell that geto and gojo will use against you when you spar ).

“why don’t we go already then?” he inquires, causing gojo to shoot up as you already start to slowly walk back to the campus entrance. shoko snorted as she shook her head, trailing behind to walk and talk with the raven-haired man. your eyes scan over the perimeter of the horizon, spotting all the grass and the vast architecture of the highschool, squinting as you look for the way you came from.

feeling the air change from behind you and the soft sounds of quick footsteps on grass, you begin. “hey shoko, do you ever—“

then you see his stupid smile.

“oh,” you say. he scoffs, almost like he’s offended that you had such a tame reaction. gojo huffs a bit, still attempting to keep up with your pace. “just ‘oh’? you aren’t excited to talk to me at all?” he groans.

you shrug. “just thought you were shoko ‘s all.”

oh, you really shouldn’t have said that. you think — because once you see the way his face splits into a grin once more, you instantly grimace. “so you are excited to talk to me.”

“never said that.”

“you didn’t have to. i’m psychic.”

“that so? what am i thinking right now, then?” you ask, finally tearing your eyes away from the ground and tilting your head at gojo; who taps his chin and pretends to think ( although, you know that there’s a seventy percent chance that whatever comes out of his mouth will be bullshit considering the way he’s struggling to hold back a smile ).

your question evokes a long hum from him as he looks up to the sky, to the right, and then back to you before he answers, “how handsome i am?” your eyes narrow a bit, one of the rare moments where satoru gojo could render you speechless.

once your mouth drops open, void of sound, gojo’s almost ready to backtrack and apologize before you finally laugh. a nice, hearty laugh that makes your chest rumble in between every breath. and if that isn’t the biggest ego booster for the boy then you’re not sure what is. he couldn’t care of you were laughing at him or with him, all he knows is that he can’t help but chuckle along with you. his chest swells with pride as you lean on the stone archway as the cacophony of giggles slows down.

you wipe the corner of your eyes, looking back at geto and ieiri as they eye you in confusion — but nonetheless give you a pity snicker in response.

“you’re hilarious, gojo — keep it up,” you finally say.

he beams boyishly at you, a warm wave of something washes over him albeit he can’t figure out what. “nice to know i still got it,” he asserted, making you give one last eye roll before you looked back at the stone steps leading to the front entrance.

you skipped forward and turned your body a bit to look at your classmates. the usual scowl on your face no longer evident anymore for it was replaced by a soft smile, one so foreign even to shoko who’s company you more or less enjoyed the most. she pursed her lips around the tobacco stick in an uncharacteristic curiosity, wondering what that fool could’ve done now to make you genuinely laugh.

“i’m gonna grab something from my dorm real quick, ‘kay?” although you were probably saying it to the group as a whole, gojo nodded eagerly as he flashed you a thumbs-up with a small, ‘okay’ as well.

he turned to shoko and geto as you rushed up the stairs and into the building, running along to the girls’ wing as they glared at him. “what?” his voice was too innocent to be gojo, just the sound of his “oblivion” made them want to facepalm. geto held a thumbs up as he mocked his friend’s earlier face while shoko have a light huff, the sound somewhere in between sounding both exasperated and entertained.

“th’hell was that?” she asked, finally stubbing the cigarette out with her shoe ( still keeping a pack on here though, you never know when you might need one. especially when you’re friends with the biggest idiot in tokyo ).

“what?” he repeated.

“nothin’,” geto shrugged, the tiny front piece he kept loose from his bun swaying as he shook his head. he shares a look with shoko that definitely throws gojo off though. he narrows his eyes at them, spectacles somewhat hiding the oceans that are his irises.

gojo crosses his arms. “you guys are just jealous that i can make a pretty lady laugh.”

“you— you don’t think . .” shoko trails off, her forehead crinkling as she looks like she’s trying to decipher something. gojo quirks a brow even though she was thinking aloud or possibly talking to geto instead — he still waits for her to finish her sentence. “what?” he repeats only to be met with a dismissive shake of the head from her.

he opens his mouth to ask what they’re talking about before he hears hasty shoes against stone and looks behind him to see you, walking back down with a small pin clasped in your hand that shimmers in the sun when you hold your hand up.

gojo’s eyes take their own route as they fly away from your palm, down your arm until it reaches your face — a fond smile written on your face like you had been claimed victorious. it made his own smile quirk back up again.

you only spare him a glance before you lope to shoko. he watches as you hand the item over to her before she takes it, a faint half-smile twitching on her lips bemusedly.

“so you can keep your bangs to the side,” you answer — even when no one has asked why you gave that pin to her. “i got it from osaka on that mission last month — thought it’d look cute on you.” geto cocks his head as he tunes out your conversation before shrugging and walking back over to gojo, hands shoved in his pockets.

he chuckles, “no need to pout, satoru.”

“i’m not pouting,” he placed a hand on his hip. unbeknownst to him, he totally was; whether it was unintentional or not. “she’s just playing favorites over here when i’m the one who so graciously invited her to start hanging out with us,” he frowns.

a laugh and a rough pat on the back from geto interrupted him from entering his soon incoming villain arc as he walked back over to you and ieiri, pulling his dramatic friend along with him. gojo’s ears perked up at your voice in the conversation once more.

“oh, you know i don’t like all those weird hair clips ‘n’ stuff—“

“don’t worry,” you lean over, brushing some of her bangs out of her face as you clip them to the side. gojo watches afar as your thin fingers work to cover the small pin with another piece of shoko’s hair, successfully getting it out of her face and concealing the pin in the process. you grin, mission accomplished.

pulling back, you watch as shoko touches her hair — smirking when she realizes how useful it’d be. she pats your head and looks at you before her eyebrows furrow; only then do you realize what she was focused on behind you.

“uh, where’s my souvenir?” your face instantly drops as you feel gojo’s chin on your shoulder, words purred dangerously low next to your ear.

“up your ass.”

“mind fetching it for me?”

“you’re disgusting—!” you push him off as he chortles, his eyes crinkling softly as bouts of laughter overtake him at your exaggerated reaction.

“we’re not gonna make it to shinjuku if you guys keep bickering like children,” you both hear geto chide. you look over to the entrance, a small smile on his face as he teases the both of you.

you scoff, stuffing your own hands in your pockets as you walk over to the dark haired man. “he started it,” you mutter.

he gasps. “nu-uh!”

“yu-huh,” you retort. he sticks his tongue out at you in retaliation whilst shoko follows you and geto in return. gojo smirks as you huff and turn around, watching as his friend bumped hips with you on the way there, making mindless conversation.

the air wasn’t so bad, the light breeze felt more refreshing than over. he looked back over at shoko’s hair in thought.

perhaps he’d have to work harder at officially getting on your good side some other time, he thinks.

iii. the taste of blue raspberry

vibrant lights and loud video game chirps wasn’t exactly gojo’s scene despite how he always presented himself; extroverted and inherently obnoxious ( although, he’d prefer to use the word ‘comfortable’ rather than obnoxious whenever you’d refer to the latter ). all he could do was trail after you and shoko, geto following him as he observed the random teens and little kids accompanied with their parents that kept the arcade flowing.

cerulean eyes follow your movements in hopes that he’ll keep track of you. that he wont lose you in this crowd. he’ll occasionally look over at shoko and geto to make sure they’re still here, too.

“so, you chose a shitty arcade spot to hangout in? such poor taste,” he leans down over you, hoping that mild jabs and soft teasing will help keep his mind off of the fact that there’s snot nosed kids running around the already narrow spaces between the machines; their flat footsteps melding together with all the loud sounds as they become synchronized with the beat of the music.

your lips twist into a sneer at the sound of him, slowly turning your head to look behind you at the boy who grinned so slyly. gojo knew exactly what he was doing.

“would you rather have yaga put us to work and sweep the dorms?” you bat your eyelashes as he only smiles further, reveling in how you play along with his little game.

“i dunnooo.. wherever you go i go, i suppose.”

“such a flirt.”

“just being honest,” he puts his hands up defensively as he walks past you to a random machine that stands stationary in front of you, untouched with whirring, vibrant lights that glow brighter when he thumbs a few tokens in the slot at the bottom. as you hear the clinking of the coin hit against the curvature inside of the machine, the snow-haired boy turns to look at you with a boyish smile as he crouches down and points a finger to the blinking button saying, ‘play now!’

you have the urge to warn him about how the game is most likely rigged. you don’t. instead your parted lips close with a huff. gojo is said to be able to do anything, you remember, he’ll learn the hard way.

“you mind getting me a slush at the machines?” he says, lanky body extending to its full height as stands upright again.

“that’s so far — and scary,” you feign a pout. realistically, you were just too lazy to walk all the way over there and back for one item.

“take suguru with you,” he tips his head up to gesture in the direction of the dark haired friend, to whom you see looking out the glass doors at all the kids who run through the place.

so there you are, walking along with geto as you huff about how gojo could have gotten the drink himself. he hums occasionally, looking around and observing the environment to try and make sure you don’t run into anything during your chatter.

“he does care about you, though. you know that right?” his fingers sift through the yen in his palm, the coins clinking around as he grabs some and puts it into the thin slot of the slushee machine.

your lips press together as you hum almost dismissively, head cocked. the cup makes a soft thud against the metal as he puts the cup inside and closes the small glass opening. the machine whirs as he clicks the blue raspberry flavor almost like it’s muscle memory — the blue button lighting up with the white kana in front of it.

“you want something?” geto asks quietly, leaning down to interrupt your analysis.

the thought makes you crack a small smile as you think for a moment before turning to face him. “do you want something?” you inquire. “i’ll pay.”

he waves you off with a soft smile. “it’s alright, i’m not much into sweets.”

you grab gojo’s cup out of the dispenser, putting a clear lid and straw in it as you grab another disposable cup. if you were going to get a slushee, you weren’t going to let geto pay for it by himself. the whirring of machine’s drink being poured almost drowns out the loud, coinciding beeps and animated sounds of the nearby screens you both hear.

“then let me buy you something when we get out of here,” you smile at him.

you fail to notice the way his face softens at you when you’re too busy grabbing the cup, licking off the excess that spills over onto your thumb as you laugh. his smile falters a bit, before he walks with you back to go get shoko and gojo.

you scoff at the sight of the white haired man smirking at the pixelated screen, pointing it out to you and geto. the two of you lean over as you heard gojo sip on the drink while you roll your eyes at the big blue kanji in bold spelling out, ‘top score: satoru gojo’.

“thought you weren’t a fan of blue raspberry,” you hear from behind you.

already, you see the man in question leaning on geto as he looks at you with a quirked brow. you look down at your cup. ah, you think, guess you did. your expression must give something away because you hear shoko amusedly huff next to you.

you shrug. “guess i just wanted to try something new.”

clearly a mistake because his smile only widens as he slings an arm around your shoulder too. “nah, you know what i’m thinking?”

“you never think.” that earns you a flick to the forehead.

he leans down. “i think i’m rubbing off on you,” he laughs.

you try to push him off of you yet he manages to let his weight relax as you struggle to keep him up, “gojo, you ass,” you mutter.

he turns to look at you, his smile looks different. feels different. “call me satoru,” he beams.

iv. ‘the star plasma vessel?’

riko amanai is a pretty girl, you think. you have no idea why she wanted to be the star plasma vessel in the first place. you weren’t there when satoru and suguru went to go meet her, instead hearing her version of the story where they practically tortured her — and knowing the boys, you’re not quite sure that she wasn’t exaggerating.

she likes you, definitely favoring you a little more than tweedle-dee and tweedle-dum, you think as you pointedly look at the pair of friends, walking ahead of you.

you look down at riko’s arm interlocked with yours and smile. “so,” you whistle, “what do you think of those two?”

her green eyes dart up to yours before looking at suguru and satoru and squinting. “they’re interesting, that’s for sure,” she mumbles. her lips twist into a sneer-like pout just at the sight of them, evoking a lighthearted chuckle from you. you fail to notice the way satoru’s head turns to look at you ever so slightly at the sound.

it makes riko grin as you playfully bump your hip with hers. satoru had never seen you so lax. maybe because the young girl was easier to handle than himself. he didn’t mind seeing you like this, but he couldn’t deny that it was pretty fun to work you up, too.

he smiles at the thought of your puffed cheeks with furrowed brows, narrowed eyes burning holes into him as he would flick your forehead for the third time in a row.

“what’s gotten you all cheesy?” he hears suguru inquire from beside him, tearing his eyes away from the stone road beneath him to look at his snow-haired friend. “eh? just thinking about stuff,” satoru replies.

suguru hums, his hand still shoved in his uniform’s pocket. “you sure it has nothing to do with—“

“a-tat-tat-tat—!” satoru waves a hand in front his friends face, holding another finger up as a gesture for him to silence. “what’d we say about sharing private stuff in public, suguru?”

“i can’t help it, some ‘gossip’ is too hot,” he shrugs.

“that does not help me—“

“what gossip are you guys talking about?” riko chimes, crossing her arms as the two of them look at her. you quirk a brow yourself.

if he’d had known better, satoru would’ve flinched at the rough hand you had smacked down on his shoulder. his eyes flickered towards you, already spotting the sly smile on your face. fuck you for being so beautiful, he thinks.

“yeah, what gossip are you guys talking back?” you press. he scoffs, waving you off as he continues walking. your lips press into a pout as you cross your arms as well, mimicking riko’s motions as you two whisper about whatever. suguru laughs at the two of you — only a few days and you guys were already twins.

sometimes the thought made your smile falter ever so slightly, knowing that you had to escort her only in a day or two was saddening. but for now, you’ll enjoy the smiles and pats on the back — knowing you’d have to part soon was only so minuscule in a world drowned in familiarity.

you intertwine your fingers with hers instead and swing your arms back and forth before you turn your head to your aforementioned friend.

“hey suguru, what do you say we show riko-chan here that little coffee shop downtown?” you ask, watching as he turns his attention away from his small flip phone’s messaging system ( as he’s most likely texting shoko and making fun of satoru in the process ) before his eyebrows raise with a soft smile.

you hear satoru huff again as his head whips around to look at you. stifling a laugh, you take in his furrowed brows and jutted lip as he sulks.

“hey, why don’t i know about any secret coffee shop downtown?”

“we had just found it walking around one day,” suguru deflects.

“and you didn’t tell me about this super-cool-top-secret-no-satoru café?”

you beam before resting your hand on his shoulder. satoru swears electricity shoots through his nerves as he turns to look at you. he wouldn’t spoil it now, but he’s seventy percent sure that this is the first time you’ve touched him without pushing him ( or as he’d like to call it, abusing him ) away.

“don’t be so jealous, satoru,” he ignores the way you call of his name makes a pit settle in his stomach. you turn to riko, “we’ll share the spot, yeah?”

“if you say so,” suguru puts his hands up in playful submission. satoru only chuckles.

your laugh synchronizes with the sounds around you, like music to satoru’s ears whilst you skip ahead with riko and scan your perimeter. everything sounds clearer now; the birds outside zipping around trees, chairs and drinks clinking, a heavy pair of distant footsteps that you can only assume is the trailing of a few people on their way to the same place.

but none of that really matters, although you’re sure everything does. all these sounds are apart of you and you’re willing to make the most of it. you walk hand in hand with riko as the boys follow in suit.

you scoff at the way satoru pulls the chair out for you before sitting himself in his own and kicking his feet up. his brow quirks cockily at the sound. “ah, so you’re only nice to me when amanai is around?”

“someone’s still gotta keep you in your place, satoru.”

“yes, ma’am,” he laughs, tipping his head back lazily as his hands fold over his chest. suguru huffs and grabs his friend’s feet before shoving them back down onto the cement. “decency, satoru?”

“ehh,” he groans, only peeking an eye at suguru before closing them again and letting his body go lax. you shake your head and laugh, watching as riko eyes him in annoyance. they’ll warm up to each other eventually, you think — and you can tell suguru feels the same.

“this is so cool—!” you chuckle at the way the young girl gleams at the intricate details of the outdoor table and the faint music playing from inside the café. her green eyes shimmer in the light, you notice; perhaps maybe just curiosity glinting in them. she’s only fourteen.

your eyes flicker around your environment yourself, hearing the mindless chatter that riko and suguru partake in about, presumably about what they’re going to do next. you squint at the distance, seeing an unusually tall man towering over a few people as he looks in your direction. your lips purse as you narrow your eyes at him further before he tilts his head up and turns away.

you watch as he walks away, his toned back all you see before you hear a mumble of your name and a tap of your foot.

you look over to see satoru, who stares at you with an indecipherable expression — something between an uncharacteristic curiosity and a standoff-ish glow. your head tilts before you look back over at the front of the café. that man is gone.

you turn back to see satoru leaning over the table with a sly smile. “penny for your thoughts?”

you shake your head and dismiss him with a weary smile and a lazy shake of your hand. “just looking around,” you say — even if you know that you can’t fool satoru gojo, his eyebrows only pinch a bit before slightly rotating his head to look behind him a bit.

“you want a sweet?” you ask, tapping his side of the table to get his attention.

had his eyes always looked so piercing, you think to yourself, as you feel something move around in your chest. rearranging itself along with the soft onomatopoeic thumps of the organ that lays inside.

he hesitates. “nah, i’ll get something on the way back later.”

“who are you and what have you done with satoru?” you chuckle. he ignores the way the usage of his given name makes him feel, the way you say it — syllables still fresh on your tongue. instead, he laughs along with you while looking over to his friend. he doesn’t know what he expected, suguru was always observant; so why was he so surprised to see him looking at the two of you with a raised brow?

you look back at riko before gasping out a small laugh at her chubby cheeks, full of food as she eats it like it’s the last meal she’ll ever have. it only makes your grin grow wider when her eyes meet yours, like a deer in headlights whilst she stops chewing. you both take a pause, even when the boys turn to look at you as well — before you burst out into bouts of laughter. riko’s giggles are muffled by the parfait that’s swelled in her cheeks but she covers her mouth with a polite hand as she tries not to choke.

your cheeks feel warm with the way they stretch to curl into a smile. suguru and satoru exchange a look before satoru smiles right along with you. it wasn’t so bad, he thinks. if amanai made you act like this then maybe he didn’t mind her as much as he thought. his foot taps against the concrete underneath the table. he can feel something wriggling around in his chest.

v. deficit

riko amanai’s beauty, no longer will it be seen as the white sheet frames her features instead, you think.

the deafening sound of applause almost takes your mind off of satoru’s expression; only coldness lies within his features, now.

your hand clutches your side, even with the greatness of the stitches that shoko had blessed your wounds with — you could almost still feel his knife in your abdomen. the stinging never seemed to go away. the clapping doesn’t help, all of your senses are occupied on trying to focus on satoru.

with the close proximity of suguru next to you, you can feel the way his hand twitches against his side while he looks at riko, or more so, the sheet that covers her. you can feel his horror, too. just a couple of days ago, she was fourteen, trotting along tokyo with you

you’re almost upset you weren’t there for her death, you weren’t there to comfort her in her last moments or save her at all. you were only there for the aftermath, the same man who you saw at the coffee shop just days prior. you look at suguru to your right — who knows what he’s gone through, you think.

and yet throughout all the booms of cheers and applause, you can hear satoru’s voice and your head whirls back to him. you almost don’t recognize it when he utters, “i screwed up, it’s not your fault.”

your hand comes up to gently rest upon your mouth in a soft gasp as your eyes try not to trail down to where riko’s shoe clad feet swing with satoru’s steps, the only part of her that’s left unsheathed from the horror of what’s underneath the cover.

his next words come out muffled yet you know you couldn’t escape them even if you tried, so close yet so far to avoidance — but you know you heard him clearly.

he calls your name, then suguru’s. “should we kill these guys?” your stomach churns, the pain in your side gets worse — your head hurts and it feels like you don’t know where you are at one point. you start to question whether anything is real at this point. he adds, “i doubt i’d feel anything about it.”

his eyes don’t dart to yours like they had the few mornings prior, before you had gone to escort the young girl. he had smiled and slapped a comforting hand on your shoulder once you explained how you had a bad feeling. you still do. you wonder if there’s any other feelings you could have, anymore.

you hear suguru’s soft mutter next to you, the applause only simmering down as you try to hyper-focus on his voice. perhaps to ground you, or perhaps you couldn’t escape it; a reminder of what this world is really like. “no,” he says. “there wouldn’t be a point.”

your vision glosses over into a blur and you go to look at the light above you, florescent and blinding. your heart hurts and you do your best not to clutch it through the fabric of your uniform, you can’t be seen like this, you think. you can’t let them see what’s happening to you.

fingers digging into your palm, you tune the rest of suguru’s voice out; even though you can feel his eyes on you regardless. instead, the pair of your own follow satoru, seeing riko’s hand, partially crusted with the leftover pool of blood that had flowed beside her head, swing lifelessly as he walks past the two of you.

your brows knit closer together as you stare at him. everything clips in and out. the noise, the cheers, suguru’s voice slowly melding into satoru’s. “no point, huh?” he huffs. “does there need to be a point?”

“of course there does,” suguru snaps back. mauve irises are nothing but void now, his eyes only fixated on the ground a few feet in front of him. “especially for jujutsu sorcerers.”

your eyes burn with the way they’ve been mindlessly gazing at the snow-haired boy, the back of his head the only thing you can catch a glimpse of behind suguru’s dark hair. it doesn’t feel like they can close, only the sheen layer of oncoming tears coating them so they don’t entirely dry out. “satoru,” you breathe — and with the way things are going, you’re surprised to see cerulean eyes turn to meet yours.

suguru doesn’t bother to look at you since he can already anticipate the crumbling feeling of guilt when he sees your expression. it doesn’t matter anyway. it almost feels like nothing does.

glossed lips don’t part like how they’d usually do, they don’t even grace you with the smallest sight of a smirk like how satoru always would. you’re not quite sure why you whisper his name, what you’ll even say. maybe a mantra that only connects the two of you, something that’ll keep you sane.

he keeps his eyes locked on you for a second more before turning his head and walking away. your hand comes to grasp at your side. the stinging comes back.

vi. pinky promises (of two)

sentimentality was a privilege in a world of jujutsu — you learned, after riko. sensitivity wasn’t trained into sorcerers, in fact, you’d say it was actually trained out of them. it wasn’t necessarily a bad thing to be sensitive. although, surrounded by the strong, tears burned hot on your skin and your hand burned even harder when they’d come up to wipe them away.

the birds outside the encapsulated feeling of the trees chirp, showcasing what once looked golden now is tainted with a dull grey that seems to gloss over everything now. your eyes feel droopy, no longer laced with sleep but with the dread that’ll come with the rest of the day.

you wonder how satoru’s doing, how shoko’s doing. how suguru’s doing. his face looks thinner, you noticed as you think back from the recollection of your faded memories from two mornings ago. he won’t go out with you as often, you wonder how badly it fucked him up. you wonder if anything will be the same again.

you run a frustrated hand through your hair, cringing at the way oil meets your fingers. you know you have to wash your hair, but you can’t bring yourself to. it almost feels like a chore, combined along with your classes and being put on your ass every time when you try to spar with satoru.

(he always says he’ll go easy on you and let you win. you huff in annoyance — he never does.)

despite all the breaths of fresh air you try to take, your lungs can never feel free of the burden that they’re tainted with. you close your eyes and savor the heat of the bark against your palm, in hopes that it’ll finally soothe the ache in your chest like how it did all those weeks ago — at the beach in okinawa.

you remember the warmth of the sand against your skin, smacking your hands together when you’d sit upright to rid your skin of the small golden flecks. you remember seeing riko and gojo splashing each other in the water as you heard kuroi and suguru’s soft voices conversation from beside you. the feeling of your hair tied, the brightness of the sun drowning your skin. it’s so vivid in your mind, you wonder if everything was all a dream, sometimes.

a raspy voice breaks your reverie as it excuses itself before you move your propped leg and look down below you. a faint smile finds its way to your lips as you see a familiar brown bob accompanied by the scent of tobacco and rose body spray.

“so distant out here,” she cranes her neck up at you with pressed lips, you internally sigh in relief at the lack of a cigarette that’s usually rested between them. a small pout forms on your lips at her extended arm, looking down at her hand and then back up at her with a cocked head. “i’d say with more to do out here, i would understand why.”

you huff. “i was brutally injured not too long ago, and this is how you treat your favorite patient, let alone favorite friend?” shoko smirks with an entertained scoff.

“i don’t see utahime around here anywhere.”

“shoko!”

she snickers as she makes her way over to the grass, the plush dirt cold against her upper thighs as she unceremoniously plops down onto it. you begrudgingly ( but not really, as the lack of social interaction practically burns your throat ) hop down from the branches of the tree, the heat finally capturing you in all of its glory as you carefully sit down next to shoko.

“always reminiscing, huh?” she asks. you can see the way she fidgets with the turtleneck of her uniform, presumably from the antsy withdrawal of her cigs. you give a small hum — whether it’s an affirmation or not, you don’t know. all you know is that it’s a noise that escapes you, now only a rare sight for the people closest to you.

your tongue tingles with the longing of verbosity. eager to say something, except the brunette beats you to it first. “i get it,” she sighs. “it’s nice to be alone out here.”

“we can’t ever be alone with those two idiots,” you remind her playfully, a chuckle managing to slip past your lips as she groans at the mention of the two familiar boys.

“how’s satoru doing?” you ask softly, plucking at the dewy grass that lay beneath you. shoko looks at you quizzically from out of the corner of her eye before closing her eyes with a snorted laugh. your heads whips around to look at her as you see her head shaking fondly.

a small, contagious huff makes it way out of you at the sight before she looks back at you, honey eyes narrowing once she realizes that you’re genuinely asking. her smile never falters, though ( which is usually a bad sign considering of the sadistic streak you’ve seen her partake in ).

“have you got it for the satoru gojo?”

you gape. “i don’t—! i just,” lips pursed, you huff and tilt your chin up with crossed arms. “the escort was a bust, just wanted to see if his ego wasn’t too hurt.”

at your brash synopsis; your ears grow hot when you realize shoko definitely doesn’t believe you — especially with the way she hunches over a fit of silent snickers.

“shut up.”

“ah, i won’t bully you,” her lips twist into a grin. “for now.”

“shoko!” you throw your head upwards while you fall back and ragdoll, your back hitting the solid dirt beneath you as you put your arms over your head, blocking the sun’s view from your eyes.

all you can feel is the ache in your stomach, even with your friend’s reversed cursed technique, you can still feel the knife that once pierced the flesh linger on. your lips twist until you hear the shuffling of weeds and dirt swipe next to you. you turn your head, lifting your arm only to see the brunette scooting closer. she pauses, “what?”

“you don’t wanna lay down with me?” you feign a pout as you look up at her on propped elbows, the corner of your lip quirking up when you see how unenthusiastic she looks with your antics.

“you can get bugs on you,” she chimes before leaning against the bark of the tree.

“it’s nature, sho.”

“some of it’s pretty gross. you ever see tortoises fuck?”

“you’re so weird,” you laugh before rolling on your back again and looking back up at the sky; eyes gazing at the sun until when you look away, you see faded, floating shapes in your trajectory. she snickers too, looking up at the sky, too.

she’s starting to get eye bags, you notice — the fold of skin forming under her eyes along with faint, darkened circles that sit right under her splayed bottom lashes. unable to blame her, you simply lay there and stare. your eyes still pick up on the way she fiddles with her thumbs placed in her lap, pale yet irritated hands a stark contrast to the darkness of her uniform.

“y’know if it’s me you want instead of gojo, you can say so,” she laughs, interrupting your analysis with how hard you were staring. but this time, you don’t say anything. nothing at all, not even a small twitch of your lips in annoyance or a giggle to her joke, you simply keep staring at me.

she barely tilts her head yet it’s enough for you to notice. she finally asks, “something you’re thinking about?”

the words sit heavy on your tongue, laced with a bitterness you could only describe as filth. “do you ever wonder what’ll happen when we’re older?”

“what do you mean?”

“look at what happened, now.”

her brows relax. “oh.”

shoko’s lips pout out a little bit as she looks off into the horizon, where the school lays dormant with only few staff occasionally walking out or a few students walking out to their drivers to participate in another assignment.

your hands feel hollow with the way they’re too weak to even ball your fists, so you swallow the pit that forms in the hollow crevice of your throat and look back up at the sky.

“we’ll be together forever, right, shoko?”

you hold out your pinky to her — and despite her scoff, she interlocks hers with yours anyways.

vii. words left unsaid, words always heard

“you think it’ll get any better?”

your turn your head to the velvet voice emerging from the shadows, tensing in your spot atop the dorm balcony as you slowly look behind you. long hair is seen first; thick, ebony silk cascading down suguru’s thin t-shirt. you can’t count how many days you’ve seen him wearing that familiar white oversized tee, you wonder if it’s become a second skin for him at this point.

you hum at his presence, turning back to the dark sky that lay before you. looking at the exterior of the school that lay in the courtyard, painted with darkness as only the soft glimmer of moonlight embraces them, embraces you.

“you act like everything will go to shit.”

“i’m not saying that,” his tone is sharp — no longer smooth as how it used to be, he sounds on edge, like the rubber band inside of his throat will snap at any moment.

you hear a few small steps shuffle closer to you whilst you turn around and lean your body forward, the metal of the railing cool against the sweat of your arms. another nightmare, geto notes; from the way your hair is still frazzled and your breaths come out heavy with few quick intervals of inhalation.

you could feel his presence beside you, the aura of tensity thickening the air as you struggled not to say anything. you could feel his eyes on you, observing you. suguru was always observant somehow — you wonder how long he had been that way before you had found out. he was a very interesting boy, you learned early on.

“i never said you did,” your lips twisted like something sour fell damp in your mouth. “you’ve just changed, suguru.”

“have you not changed also?”

closing your eyes, you hope for one more breeze to pass through — for one opportunity, for one sign that’ll release you from this energy. it doesn’t.

“suguru—”

“don’t you ever wonder how the world would be,” a pregnant pause wriggles its way into the two of you, “without curses?”

you look at him only to see violet eyes focused straight ahead of him. he doesn’t glance at you nor even breathe in your direction, his shoulders don’t seem as tense though.

you shake your head with a breathy laugh. “yeah, i guess so.”

you lean further to try and alleviate the pain in your stomach, a churning inside of your gut that gives you a bad feeling just at the thought of it. sharing a look, your heads turn toward each other in the moonlight — he looks paler, you notice. sickly.

“hasn’t everybody? or at least hasn’t every jujutsu user?” you mumble.

( you notice suguru pauses, an uncharacteristic habit that he’s slowly developed — once always so sure and witty with his remarks, now wilted with the uncertainness that’s plagued him. )

“why do we exist?” he finally says.

your eyes dart around, stomach finally squeezing at the discomfort you feel at his question; yet you laugh it off anyway.

“philosophical, are we?” you meager a forced grin, although it only falters slightly once you feel him sigh out a breathy laugh. “a human’s purpose on earth is undefined, i don’t really know the answ—“

“i mean as a jujutsu sorcerer: what is our purpose?”

“i don’t know where you’re going with this,” you finally say. suguru takes a step back and stops resting against the railing. you look down at the high drop, then back at the sky — you wouldn’t want to jump to conclusions, but you can’t help but look at him out of the corner of your peripheral.

( at your absence of an answer, he fills in the quietude for you. )

“we fight curses, right? to protect civilians?” he runs a hand through his dark hair, the sweaty strands connecting with the callouses that lie embedded his fingertips.

you swallow. “uh-huh.”

“but who’s saving us?”

your lips twist into a small pout as you try to comprehend the underlying meaning of his words, you wonder what sort of plan he’s dancing around — why he can’t share it with you. he always shared everything with you.

( your mind mainly focuses on that one blanket that he would always hog when he was over, fleece and blue with white polka dots; now faded and worn, and you’re pretty sure it has one hole in it from when satoru tried pulling it towards him at the foot of the bed. )

“curses are created from human negative energy, the shit that stirs within non-sorcerers that finally manifests itself,” he spits. you don’t move.

“i know what you saw out there. about r—”

you cut him off. the topic ends at the beat of your heart.

suguru calls your name softly, looking back at you with furrowed brows and an inquisitive look upon his face. he seems like he’s genuinely considering this, you think.

a pause ensues, and all you hear are the distant chirps of crickets that inhabit the area. suguru doesn’t, he only looks at you — his ears drowning out any other noises besides the soft breathing exerted from him. he doesn’t seem fazed, he’s thought about this for a while — regardless of your answer, even though he knows it’ll hurt him either way.

“satoru,” you mutter.

“what about him?”

“he doesn’t know?”

“the burden he carries is unlike no other, and i have a feeling we can change that.” he places a soft hand on your shoulder, the warmth of his hand spreading along your arm and only furthering your nausea. “i think you know that, too.”

you turn on your heel, feet similar to lead as it takes everything within you to turn away and head back past the glass, trying to make it back to your dorm before a deft hand catches your wrist. it’s bordering tight, but your head whips around to see him nonetheless.

“promise, right?” his other hand holds out his pinky — almost ironic in a way. you can feel your eyelids heating with the oncoming wave of tears threatening to spill. you can’t though, not now.

it takes a second or two but you apprehensively bring your hand to interlock pinkies, a childish but fond gesture the four of you had always done.

soon, he will have coffee and crepes in the street. he’ll breathe in bliss. empty his cup of its grief, for the new life he will lead — you think.

“promise.”

viii. satoru gojo - the strongest

satoru gojo often feels like he’s not as strong as he can be.

how silly is that?

goodness, to him, is adjacent to a rock flowing slowly through the rapids. he’ll float there first. although, he knows it’ll follow him — he can only hope he’ll meet you in the river, up to his knees, both hands full of something good, like silverfish wriggling for the waters.

a bright, childlike grin on his face as it meets your sheepish one, as if when he were to meet you as a child — being your friend would be worth more than being the heir of the gojo clan. his yukata dirtied and muddy from the cross contaminated water, soaked and dripping once the two of you would make it onto the small rocks. he would’ve been punished by the elders for the mess he had created, but he wonders if it would have made a difference.

he wonders, if you had been there, whether you would have made a difference.

he knows you’ve made one now.

and when he hears the news from yaga, he can’t help but clench his fists like his heart had clenched alongside it. his head pounds with blood thumping through his veins as yaga’s voice muffles.

he doesn’t remember much — he remembers being told about you and suguru, he remembers yelling, he remembers the hot tears that welled up in his lashes as he walked away. he remembers going back to your dorm room, opening your door, and feeling his gut drop at the sight of it.

satoru remembers the lingering scent of your body spray and how it engulfed your room. the small scratches satoru had carved into your desk with a pencil once he had tried tutoring you (it ended horribly and you didn’t get anything done, a smile threatens to tug at his lips at the memory).

the small notes you used to pass in class with shoko folded neatly in an organizer. he picks one up and squints at the shaky kanji of shoko’s handwriting bunched up on the page compared to the way your characters floated on the small ripped piece of paper.

‘did you do #14?’ he read shoko’s.

yours read, ‘yep’.

he could almost laugh at her last response — which read, ‘nerd.’

he wonders how you’re doing with suguru — satoru wants to believe you had no part in the massacre he had inflicted on the village but there’s no way to no for sure, all they can tell is that they found one was suguru’s buttons on the scene. his fingers run along your sheets, neat and made from the days before you had left — he feels his breathing quicken at the sight of your fluffed pillows.

(you knew you were leaving, and that part hurts the most.)

his eyes dance around the decorations of your room, littered with cheery figurines and souvenirs from past missions in shibuya or sapporo, ones you’d always have to march back into satoru’s room for because you knew he had taken at least one.

he had never told you that the only reason he did that wasn’t to be obnoxious, but so that he could pull you into his room and coax you to stay a little longer — how he’d promise you wouldn’t get into trouble with yaga if you just went out for a plate of takoyaki in the middle of the night.

when he had seen suguru in shinjuku that day, all he could think about was that he wanted to tell you — how he wanted to just see you, even if it was only a glimpse; even if you hadn’t said anything to him. he just wanted to see you.

words lingered in his brain, suguru’s request burned into his head. because he didn’t come to fight, he didn’t come with aggression. he only requested that he saw his side, too. a part of him was relieved you weren’t there with him, because he was always weak to you — it would’ve made it so much harder, he thinks.

has he always felt this way about you? feeling what way? what the fuck is he thinking? he doesn't even know.

there's a big, hot, white ball of something within him — something wiry inside of his gut that cuts and scrapes at every edge inside his intestines. satoru doesn’t know what it is but he’s never felt this way before.

but he’ll go outside, and he’ll see shoko or wave to his classmates. he’ll hear the whispers float around in the halls, overshadowing the faint sound of soft laughs he used to hear when he’d bump hips with you when you would take your daily rounds — to help with the dreams you had, you said.

satoru gojo didn’t get nightmares, he just woke up with once again another weight on his shoulders the next morning, groggy with the idea of obligations that would only pile up on him. and although satoru never dared to dream when he was asleep ( nor did he know how to dream when he was awake ), he would only pretend to so that he could roam around at night in search of you.

and when he’d find your figure, shaky breaths escaping your lungs with disheveled hair and tear stained eyes — so beautifully illuminated by the celestial pearl in the sky, the only beacon of light suspended in velvet darkness. you’d look up at the moon, perhaps with a prayer in mind, as you’d only think about what to do next.

like always, he’d sneak up behind you. only this time, he wouldn’t startle you with a playful call of your name or tap your shoulder and be on the other side to confuse you. he’d merely slip behind you in silence, leaning against the railing of the open-view gap that’d let you view the outside of the high school. he’d feel you glance at him with a wobbly bottom lip, swollen from the chewing you’d had to do just to silence your cries.

satoru wouldn’t say anything. but you knew why he was there.

(or at least, why you thought he was there.)

your head would drop low with eyes screwed shut, and only satoru could hear the quaky breath you’d take as you’d try to compose yourself. azure eyes would rake across your figure with a furrowed brow, he never understood why you were so emotional — yet he’d lay a comforting hand on your back anyway. you’d savor the warmth of his palm with only more tears building up in your lashes.

he’s strong. he has to be — whether it’s for you, for suguru, for jujutsu society; doesn’t matter. that’s neither here nor there. for now, satoru will nurse the thought of your memory until it bleeds and stains the very bed he dreams of you in — knowing he’ll awake the next morning and jolt at your absence. he’ll then wash his face, hold his head high, and walk right back outside. the hurts only scabs over for the day before he opens it up again the same night.

ix. migration

“you— what?”

“i’m going to the states.”

geto’s lips quirk into a soft pout, one you’ve gotten accustomed to for the past few years.

“how come?” he asks softly, albeit you almost frown at his tone. a sound that had come to be so comforting — it tingles at your bones in small zaps and shivers. it makes you feel terrible, but you can’t help but indulge in the feeling.

“always wanted to go,” you shrug. your eyes glance to the girls’ bedroom; the two twins suguru had found in that small village that had come to be but a large pile of ash and dismay. hand still warm from tucking the two of them in, it fills you with bitter sweetness.

his eyes linger on your face — you can tell he doesn’t believe you because he always has this tell, where his lips will shift to the side momentarily as he presses them together, almost in thought. you’re not sure you believe yourself, either.

staying in japan does nothing for you but weigh you down with the slow, imminent guilt that swells your chest from the fact that you’re stuck here. of course, it wasn’t an involuntary choice to go with suguru — you felt you had no other choice but to escape the things you had seen at the place that had hurt you most.

although, you can’t help but think about the boy who’s hair lights up the room, who’s eyes can see right through you — it’s almost unsettling how much you remember the flecks of blue and detail within them, practically painting the sky in those colored irises. often times, you’ll lie awake at night; hands folded neatly over your chest as the external stimulus of the outside world provide you with a sense of security, realness.

the expensive eau de cologne of his lingers in your nose, the almost spice of the musk permanently altering your brain that’s only triggered when you walk past advertisers outside of the store trying to sell a similar scent.

you swear your eyes don’t water, even though no one’s presence is there but yours — so there’s really nothing to swear about. you just don’t want to seem like something you’re so foreign to; vulnerability. letting the tears flow down the curve of your cheekbones. you don’t wipe your eyes for it’s the only reminder you have left that that boy exists.

so the next morning, you’ll wake up. slumped over from the thing that eats at your bones, your cursed energy being the only thing you can feel running through you.

fingertips coated with the smallest bit of dust, the leather cover of the suitcase is practically unused save for the few times you’d use it when you’d be sent to the outskirts of japan for certain missions. you almost smile at the faint memories that cloud your brain around that time; shoko’s quiet laughs while utahime and you would whine at small inconveniences on the trip. stopping by certain food stalls that weren’t available in tokyo, trying new things — it makes you miss it.

but you know you can’t go back now.

you pretend not to notice the watery eyes of nanako and mimiko once they see you walking out of the door, nor do you notice suguru watching you walk out the door all the same; the robes clinging onto his figure disfiguring him into a man you no longer knew.

the soft smile that once lied on his young face now replaced by one of feigned amicability; like a customer service smile. you’ve known him over a decade and yet it seems like the two of you’ve only been roommate faintly acquainted with each other. it makes your heart thump a little harder.

you pretend not to feel the way your throat closes up as a single tear courses down your skin; leaving a residue that coats the linear path trickling down your cheek — this time, you wipe your eyes.

x. (not so) divine intervention

tongue sticking heavy in your mouth, any form of noise that you could’ve possibly made dying on your throat. your hands feel a surge of pressure through them, fingers twitching along as the gears in your head turn.

you look different, he takes note of. your hairs parted a little different, a few inches of extra length added on as well. a smile tugs at his lips; one full of mirth and almost jocularity. you look so clean, healthy — strong. there’s potential, he realizes, as he searches suguru’s memory bank of you; your face making a constant reoccurrence throughout his mind. the day you left, you cooking for the girls next to him, you lying next to him, your tears that night.

his half-smile only grows wider.

he cocks a brow before he holds his hand up in salutations. he says your name, but it’s not how he would usually say it. it’s almost raspier, lower. your lips press together as you examine him, your eyes keep flitting back up to his head — intricate stitches wrapping around the width of his forehead.

“hey,” geto looks you up and down. “shrimp.”

tilting your head up, you roll your eyes at the nickname before continuing to walk forward. you don’t know what you expected because he follows you anyway, hands clasped together under the warmth of the sleeves of his robes.

his soft footsteps easily match your quick ones, stern and at least trying to flee. you don’t wanna look at him, whether that’s because you know you’ll crumble or because you’re so upset, you don’t know. all you know is that you can’t look at him now. even when he observes the bustling streets of and makes passing comments about the citizens of tokyo.

“i wasn’t sure that you had gotten back — how come you didn’t find me?” he asks, and you know it’s only because he’s fishing.

you spare him a glance out of your peripheral. you frown softly, it doesn’t even look like suguru anymore. paler skin, thinner cheekbones, lips now a lighter shade of pink with small cracks lining them. an angry, irritated color begins to form around his forehead where the stitches lay, the thread sunken so deep in his skin that it makes your own head hurt at the probable tightness.

you quietly exhale, but you know he can hear the shaky breath that comes along with it. “didn’t know if you were busy.”

“you know i can always manage some time for you,” he smiles bittersweetly. tilting his head up, he looks up at the tall buildings that surround you, admiring the straying leaves falling from the trees. one floats down and makes its way onto your head — your eye twitches as he plucks its off your hair before holding it up to his view.

you take your time to look at it, too. it’s starting to brown with the oncoming seasonal change, an amorphous combination of a golden crisp and veranda green.

“i’ve been meaning to ask your help with something,” he doesn’t look at you, still trained on the leaf. “only if you’re ready to be my partner in crime, again." he smiles at you, one that seems more like suguru. it’s confident and teasing, and with the way he leans a little more forward brings you memories of his old demeanor back in high school, the way him and—

you pause, because for a moment, you swear you could’ve seen a glimpse of white hair behind him. it’s almost concerning how quickly your blood runs cold at the thought. it’s not out of dissent nor is it out of a manifest of obscureness to which you’ve rendered him to.

but once you hear geto speak of his name — it’s like you crumble all over again. your hands going soft and clammy, your chest surging with an almost sort of giddiness at the thought of him again. just like a wishful coin in a pond, it’s beautiful to know that there are still glimmers of this feeling. even this deep in.

“suguru?” you tilt your head back, meeting his relaxed gaze as he halts his movements.

“hm?”

“what are those?” you gesture to your own forehead, keeping your eyes locked on your head as you talk about the stitches on his own. you don’t get a reply.

after that, you don’t pay attention half-way through his explanation, stopping him again with a closer step forward as he talks about some sort of plan. really, the only thing you listen to is the small glimpses you hear of satoru’s name. he talks about something going on in shibuya, he talks about jujutsu high — and you would be lying if you said that the mention of the school didn’t make you a little sad.

you wonder what satoru’s doing, you wonder what shoko’s doing. hopefully, you’ll see them soon — even if it’s just in passing. you know nothing will be the same as it was before, but you can help but wonder what they’re doing now.

you won’t know her now — but as she puffs the remaining tobacco through the small opening of her swollen lips, shoko shakes her head and looks down at her pinky. she wonders if that promise had gone down the drain like you had. she swears she can feel the corners of her eyes dampen a little.

and you won’t know it either — but satoru can’t help but see you everywhere he looks. when he sees the first years walking back home from the mission, he trails behind them just to get the view of them lined up together; yuuji bumping hips with megumi while all he gets is a glare in return. nobara looks up on the sky and drags her feet out of boredom, spewing off mindless bits of chitchat about how she totally ‘did that’.

his neck will crane up to the horizon as his lips only recite your nothings. all he is sees is sunset, yet he’s scarred with the melancholy he carries. he’ll try to close his eyes, your hands coming up to his collarbones before you press down. until he’s bruised with incompetence; until his shame has configured the astronomical.

and satoru will smile, a slew of memories seeping back into the curves of his brain as he thinks back to those times of you — of suguru, shoko, nanami. he never stopped hurting that day, but he can’t help but smile at the sight of something begun anew.

oh well, satoru thinks — he can only wonder to what you’re doing now. something inside him hopes for a day where he’ll see you soon. he’ll wait for the day where he’ll see you soon.

𐙚 holy shit i did it

𐙚 comment to join taglist ; @kasumitenbaz @sad-darksoul @seternic @kalulakunundrum @2ukika @sugimvra

𐙚 requests are open — november thirteenth, 2024

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angelwings-crossbowstrings · 10 months ago

Text

Blood Ties Chapter 16

Series Masterlist

Warnings: Typical TWD violence and gore; pregnancy; symptoms of pregnancy; pregnancy complications; vomit; mention of urination; attempted SA; injuries

A/N: I am still not convinced that I like this one or the direction it takes the story, but I agonized over it for too long. So here we are. 💙

gif by @daryl-dixon-daydreams

It was one of those days, weak from hunger and dehydration, that you struggled. You couldn’t ride on the bike with Daryl and were confined to the bench seat in the back of a beat up van that the group had grabbed when the old truck had run out of fuel.

You were freezing, even with the two blankets wrapped tightly around you. You refused to complain, though. It seemed like you always needed something. Daryl was barely eating, ensuring that you had most of his portions as well, meager as they already were. He always placed you closest to the fire when it wasn’t too dangerous to have one. You were to receive any anti-nausea medications that were happened upon, leaving Lori to suffer through her own morning sickness. It didn’t matter to you that hers was just run of the mill nausea and would fade.

At 24 weeks, you felt the baby fluttering more often but only inside. It made you wonder if they weren’t growing as they should. You could see the same grim notion in Hershel’s eyes when he would check on you; the way the others avoided your gaze all together.

But not Daryl.

He’d just sit with you, letting you curl into him for warmth, while he displayed the tiniest of smirks.

“S’a Dixon. They’ll be fine.”

The reassurance always made you smile. Sometimes, he’d even press his lips to the top of your head as he pulled a blanket snug around you. He had found this god awful poncho, colorful and not him in every way, which meant that it suited him perfectly. Always keeping you on your toes. He relied on that for his own source of warmth but never objected when you would pull him beneath the blanket as well.

“Gotta keep my human furnace functional.”

The van rolled to a stop, prompting you to sit up.

“Why’re we stopped?” You asked from behind Carol’s seat. Rick looked at you through the rear view mirror.

“Getting late and we’re all exhausted.” He gestured to his right so you’d look out the window. A large, tattered house with a fence. “Haven’t seen too many walkers so we’ll clear that and maybe stay a few days.”

There hadn’t been many stops for the past several hours. There were probably buildings nearby to scavenge, but it was getting too dark to attempt. You gave the slightest nod and sat back to wait for the building to be cleared. Carol opened the door to help. She was learning and helping more and more with the walkers, becoming self-sufficient. You had the gun Daryl had given you but were under strict orders from the archer that you were to stay away from any altercations unless absolutely necessary.

Just as Carol disappeared, the bowman peered inside.

“Ya doin’ okay?”

You tried to offer a reassuring smile but it just wasn’t there. “Yeah.”

He was doubtful, had every right to be, but morale just wasn’t anyone's strong suit anymore. Expression drawn, he reached back to squeeze your knee. His hand was warm through your sweatpants. You almost asked him to stay with you instead. He was needed out there though, part of the muscle that made things safer for everyone.

“How are you feeling?” Lori asked from the passenger seat once the door had been closed. She was reclined slightly, eyes shut. She had already begun to show, even being several weeks behind you.

You shrugged needlessly. She wasn’t looking at you. “Okay, I guess. The meds helped.” Cursing yourself the moment the words left your mouth, you tried to backpedal. “I have a few if you want one.”

“I’ve been through this before. Mine’ll pass.” You could hear the smile in her voice, though you didn’t understand why. She and Rick acted like strangers in recent weeks. Everyone had their theories but no one dared speak them.

“Well, if you change your mind—” you trailed off, sitting back to deal with your own bout of nausea. You were feeling better. The episodes came less as your pregnancy progressed, but when it hit, it hit hard. IV fluids had long ago run out, no luck in finding more. It was up to you to keep yourself going now.

The door slid open, startling you from a light doze. Daryl moved the seat in front of you and offered his hand.

“S’clear. Let’s getcha inside. S’got a fireplace. Getcha all warm an’ make somethin’ horrible to eat.”

You rolled your eyes and took his hand, dragging your cocoon of blankets out with you. “I don’t know if I can eat but I’ll try.” You knew it bothered him when you didn’t at least take a couple of bites, make the attempt even if you weren’t feeling hungry. Because you should be hungry. You were pregnant in the middle of an apocalypse never knowing where your next meal might come from. So, you tried, if for no other reason than to see a few of the lines on his face smooth out.

“S’all ya can do really.”

You couldn’t feel his hand on the small of your back but you knew it was there. That’s how he had taken to walking with you. It felt both possessive and protective, neither of which you minded. It had been weeks since you had realized you loved him. Weeks of never knowing where you stood. No one dared make an assumption other than Carol. She was convinced your feelings were reciprocated. You just didn’t know.

“Sit down over there. I’ll get the fire goin’.”

“I can do it.” You attempted, knowing full well he was going to shoot down the idea.

“Nah. Sit down.” He waved dismissively, not even turning around. You sat back with a pout, feeling utterly useless. You couldn’t fight. You couldn’t hunt. You couldn’t even start a bloody fire.

Rolling up your sweater a little, you poked at your round belly. The air was cold, goosebumps rising as soon as it hit. “Guess I’m good at growing you, huh, Thumper?” When you thought about what you had said, you let your palm fall flat across the taut skin, tears stinging your eyes. “Fuck. Not even good at that, am I?” You sniffled, glancing up to make sure Daryl was preoccupied. The last thing he needed was to deal without another bout of your emotional whiplash.

You watched the man work at the fire. Rick was bringing pieces of wood that weren’t soaked, too preoccupied with his task to pay you any mind. You could hear Glenn, T-Dog, and Carl chopping up furniture. Lori, Maggie, Carol, and Hershel were either snooping around or bringing in supplies. So, you could stare without risk of being caught.

Like everyone else, Daryl had lost weight, his face more angular, clothes fitting looser. Not only did he barely eat, he was by far the most active. He’d scavenge, clear homes, lead the caravan on his bike, and still leave for a day of hunting that was usually unsuccessful. The only thing he did less of than eating was sleeping. You woke up at least twice in the few hours you had, usually to go pee. You never had to wake him to accompany you. He was always sitting up beside you.

It was all starting to show. The dark circles under his eyes. The way he’d lose his balance sporadically. You were worried. You just wanted him to care for himself.

Unconsciously tapping your middle finger on your stomach, you flinched when you felt a ripple beneath your hand. No way. You had frozen as if the baby would get spooked and run if you so much as breathed. When it happened again, you laughed out loud, startling Daryl. Upon seeing your shirt up, the archer was up and striding toward you.

“S’wrong?” He asked with notable worry, crouching beside your knees. You shook your head, slinging your tears.

“Nothing’s wrong. Gimme your hand.” You wiggled your fingers in front of him, elated and impatient. His hand barely made it up before you snatched it and pressed his palm to your belly, feeling bad for the way the sudden movement made him flinch. It was just out of surprise, you knew that, but it didn’t stop you from muttering an apology. You were just too damn excited.

But then nothing happened.

“I, uh—the fire.” Daryl began to pull away but you weren’t ready to give up.

“They were moving.” You pressed a little firmer against his hand.

“Doc said ya’d feel ‘em ‘fore—”

You watched his face the moment the little ripple bumped against his palm. His eyes, wide as saucers, were shining with tears he didn’t seem able to blink away. Because he wasn’t blinking. You were about to question if he was even breathing when he drew in a gulp of air as if he’d forgotten.

“Was that—”

You nodded. “Thumper’s thumping.” A tear trickled down your own cheek but you refused to move in order to wipe it away. Good moments were few and far in between and that was a great moment. Another movement within you had you laughing, Daryl glancing up and back down. “Feels funky but it’s the best thing I’ve ever felt.”

Your baby was moving. Alive and moving. It wasn’t a guarantee that nothing was wrong but it was something and you’d take that.

The archer was still staring, cautious and curious, at his hand. He swiped his thumb back and forth over the skin, more than likely hoping for another movement. You were about to tell him it may not happen when he was rewarded with a small but firm bump to his palm.

You laughed again, too engrossed in what was happening to notice Daryl leaning in. You lifted your head just in time for his lips to press against yours, both of your eyes shooting wide before he pulled away, hand and all. His reaction made it clear he’d been aiming for your cheek.

“I should, uh—”

The way he stood, nervously adjusting the crossbow’s strap as he backed away, made you anxious. The excitement was gone from his eyes, replaced with something you couldn’t even begin to decipher.

“Daryl, it’s okay.” Shirt pulled down, you leaned forward, resisting the urge to reach for him.

“Nah, I—” he turned, making large strides out of the room. Foregoing your blankets, you were quick to follow. Daryl was standing a few feet from Rick, shifting from foot to foot like the panic was about to burst from within him if he stopped moving.

“I’ll get the fire goin’ but man, it’s dark out. You can hunt tomorrow.” The former deputy shifted the wooden burden in his arms. He seemed to see something on the archer’s face that you couldn’t because he quickly relented. “Just be safe out there. What do you want me to tell Y/N?”

“Tell ‘er whatever ya want. She ain’t my problem, m’just here for my kid.”

Your wet eyes stayed glued to where he had stood only seconds ago. At some point, Rick had noticed you, stopping beside you in the doorway. He would have squeezed your shoulder if not for the firewood he carried.

“He didn’t mean it, Y/N.”

You couldn’t hide the hurt when you looked toward him, gaze seeming to look through him. “You sure about that?”

He wasn’t.

Morning came and went, Daryl still hadn’t returned. Had he not left during the night, it wouldn’t be unusual. He spent many days out looking for anything that could be a potential dinner. But he always came back before dark.

“You need to eat, sweetheart.” Carol gently stroked your hair while you looked out the window. You were cross-legged, wishing you could draw your knees to your chest and shrink into yourself but baby Dixon made that impossible.

“Do you think he’s okay?” You asked quietly.

“It’s Daryl. I’m sure he’s fine.”

Something about that answer didn’t sit right, no matter the good intention behind it. Daryl was only human. Anything but weak but no less human. You helped drag him from a ravine when he was barely hanging on to consciousness. If you hadn’t shown up when you did, the walker would have certainly killed him.

“I should go after him.” Even if he doesn’t care about me.

“No you absolutely should not.” Carol’s hand stilled on the back of your head. “You’re pregnant, Y/N. It’s dangerous.”

“I can handle myself.” The quiver in your voice betrayed your attempted confidence. What if you couldn’t protect yourself anymore. Everyone had been treating you like a doll, fragile and useless.

“You can’t go out there. Think of your baby.”

As if they could hear the concern echoing in the other woman’s voice, the baby moved, a whispered flutter just beneath your skin. Your hand moved of its own accord, gently massaging, reassuring the little life inside you that you were thinking of them.

“I’ll wait.” You conceded, your shoulders slumping in defeat. Your baby needed to be your first priority. They certainly were Daryl’s. You supposed that was a good thing. At least he would be a present father.

“I think he’s dealing with some serious emotions right now.” Carol had begun to pet your hair again, her voice soft and sure. As the first snow of the season began to fall, you leaned into her and allowed yourself some comfort.

Still, your eyes never left the window.

You had fallen asleep as Carol held you. You didn’t remember moving to the bed roll but when you forced your eyes open, the fire was burning brightly and you were bundled up. You stretched stiff muscles, pushing the blankets away. What had become a tradition, your bladder screamed for relief. You wouldn’t complain since it meant that you weren’t severely dehydrated.

But it was cold and everyone was asleep.

Biting your lip, you decided to venture out on your own. It wasn’t far to the tree line. Your holster was in the van, unable to wrap around your thickened waist. You decided to simply carry the gun and strapped your knife to your thigh. Your swollen belly altered your center of gravity, making it difficult to step over the lumps in blankets and sleeping bags.

Glenn was nowhere to be seen, most likely patrolling the outside of the house. Hopefully you didn’t startle him. The snow had stuck, nearly two inches at least, and Daryl was still absent. It was beyond difficult to push down your worry, fight the urge to keep walking past the trees in the direction he had left.

Just inside the treeline, you nearly moaned in relief that quickly passed into annoyance. With toilet paper and napkins being saved for the messier trips, you had to bear the cold biting your most intimate areas while you drip dried.

“God, the apocalypse sucks.” You complained under your breath. After an adequate—and brutal—amount of time, you were sure there was a layer of ice on your nethers. Panties, leggings, and sweatpants pulled up, you picked up your gun and stretched again.

“Aw, the show’s over, boys.”

Your gun was aimed before the sentence was finished. Four shadows were spread out around you, one shoved toward you harshly. Glenn fell close to your feet, and you instinctively offered a hand and let him pull himself up.

“Assholes jumped me.” Your friend staggered, choosing to hold onto the tree instead of putting his weight on you.

“How many more of you are there?” One of the men asked, stepping forward so you could make out some of his features.

“More than there are of you.” You silently clicked the safety off your gun.

“Getting knocked up when the world’s all fucked is pretty stupid.” The shadow to the left sneered. “Must be some good pussy if the daddy didn’t pull out.”

“You’ll never know.” You hissed, your freed hand clutching the sweater over your belly. “We scream, and our group will take you down before you can even reach us.”

“Y/N, there’s one missing.” Glenn was dazed, shaking his head as if he just couldn’t focus.

“What?”

“There were four.”

Before his words could fully sink in, there was a knife pressed into the side of your belly, a bulky arm wrapping around to hold tightly to your left breast.

“Drop it, or I’ll carve the little one out.” The tip of the blade pushed into your skin, enough for a small, damp patch of red to spread across your sweater.

“Okay! Alright, I’m putting it down.” Flicking on the safety so the gun didn’t accidentally discharge, you let it fall to the ground with a dull thump.

“Good girl.”

You visibly cringed, glancing over to find Glenn as his hands were restrained. He was having a hard time staying awake. Head injury.

“Tie her hands and get her pants off.” Your breath hitched as the knife was pulled away, your holster ripped from your thigh.

“Please don’t.” You begged, your body being jerked unnecessarily roughly to zip tie your wrists. A dirty hand ran across your stomach and down to your hip, squeezing uncomfortably.

“She knows how to beg when she don’t got that gun.” He laughed huskily, leaning in too close. You reared back, turning your head to avoid his lips. “Don’t be like that, baby. We about to get to know each other real good.”

“Leave her alone!” Glenn tried to struggle upright, a boot to his stomach securing him to the ground.

“Don’t worry, boy. You’re next.” The stranger standing over him chortled.

What if these men were the reason Daryl hadn’t returned? What they had—

You flinched when the waistband of your pants was grabbed and pulled at, the hold too strong to struggle against. That sure as hell didn’t stop you from trying. If they were going to rape you, you wouldn’t make it easy.

“Get off me!” You shrieked, not caring if you drew every walker in the vicinity. Maybe they’d hear you in the house. When your mouth opened to scream again, a dirty handkerchief was stuffed inside. The only thing worse than the taste was the smell, instantly triggering your nausea.

The man grabbed behind your knees and pulled, sending you crashing to your back, your head smacking the unforgiving ground. The snow began to melt and seep through your sweater but your lower half was nearly exposed. Two men worked to undress you—maybe there was just one? They looked identical and moved in sync. After a moment, the two melted together. Now you had a head injury.

It was futile to battle against the bile creeping up your throat. You had to tilt onto your shoulder to vomit, the viscous liquid seeping out around the fabric blocking its exit. With what little coherence you could summon you swallowed down what remained in your mouth. It would happen again but at least you wouldn’t choke on it this time.

“Hoo, boys. Look at that pretty cunt!”

Your face burned with shame, your gut churning, and your heart breaking. Daryl. It was the only logical explanation. They’d killed him and now they would kill you. One of them knelt between your legs, loudly working open his belt. Over the laughter and the clink of metal, you heard a sharp whistle.

“What was that?”

“Where’d it come from?”

Another whistle, but this one was different. It was the sound of a projectile traveling to its target. Something warm ran down your right thigh. When you managed to raise your head, ignoring the throbbing, the man that was about to fuck you began toppling toward you, a familiar bolt through his eye.

Daryl. You’re okay.

You managed to move just far enough to avoid the dead weight before letting your head fall back into the snow, the cold soothing the ache. There were voices all around you, some distant part of you yearning to get up and help in the fight.

“Stay awake, honey.” You opened your eyes to find Carol’s worried blue gaze looking you over while she ripped the disgusting cloth from your mouth.

“Snuck up on us.” You breathed.

“I know but they’re dead now. Or they will be.”

You hummed, tuning her out when she began to admonish you for going outside alone. You were too tired to admit you fucked up. You could do that later. After a nice nap.

“Nuh uh, girl. Open them eyes.”

Something warm was wrapped around you, and you were gently lifted. The smell of leather and smoke wafted into your nostrils, and you knew you were safe.

“Daryl—”

“This her blood? What th’fuck happened? Why wasn’t someone with her?!”

When had he laid you on the bedroll? You squirmed against the cold hands on your skin, your clothes being completely removed. Had you dreamed it? Were you still out there?

“Be still, woman!”

You exhaled. It wasn’t a dream after all. You were safe, the baby was safe. You could rest. Ignoring the pleas for you to stay awake, you followed the darkness into a blissful state of nothingness.

“I’m fine!” You whined, swatting at Carol’s hands when she tried to roll up your shirt for the millionth time to check your stitches. “It wasn’t that deep and the baby’s been wiggling like a nightcrawler.” When the woman deflated, you leaned forward with a wince to grab her shoulders. “I’m fine.”

Daryl was perched on a chair in the corner of the bedroom they had moved you into, forever fiddling with his crossbow. He had long ago cleaned and prepped the two rabbits he’d brought back. Lori was handling those while Carol insisted on being your mother hen. The archer hadn’t left the room much, but he hadn’t spoken to you either.

It wasn’t like you did anything damnable. You went to pee, thinking Glenn was safe and on watch. Why the hell was Daryl mad at you? He was the one that skulked off for over twenty four hours and scared the hell out of you! You should be giving him the silent treatment.

You already kinda were.

“Any headache?” Hershel asked, strolling into the room with some Tylenol.

“Just a little.” You shrank back, suddenly feeling like a kid under the scrutiny of the older man. He held out the tablets and you took them without question. You stayed forward so he could probe the back of your head, hissing when he pressed against the sensitive lump left behind.

“Swelling’s gone down but we still need to keep an eye on you. You took quite the tumble last night.”

“Wasn’t as much of a tumble as it was a thrown onto the back of my noggin.” From the corner of your eye, you could see Daryl go still, his fist clenching. “Doesn’t matter though. I’m good. Baby’s good. Glenn’s good. And we have meat for dinner! I’d say that’s a win.”

“Jesus fuck.” Daryl hissed from the corner. You turned your head so fast that your vision blurred and Hershel moved as if you’d slapped him.

“What?” You clapped back, growing warm with anger. Carol and Hershel all but dashed out of the room.

“Ya just gonna act like s’all good? No big deal? Ya almost got yourself killed, Y/N!” The crossbow was still on his lap, trembling from how hard he was gripping the stock. “Fuckin’ stupid.”

“I was going to piss, Daryl! I usually have someone to go with me but you weren’t here!” You wanted to find the stricken expression on his face satisfying but somehow, it just felt bad.

“Couldn’a got someone else?” His voice was calmer now, tired and raspy.

“Why does it matter now anyway? Your baby’s safe.” You sank back against the headboard, grimacing when even the dusty but soft pillows made the back of your head sing with pain.

“Yeah but you got hurt.”

You heard his crossbow being placed against the wall but didn’t bother to look over. Your head was actually starting to hurt and dealing with Daryl wasn’t doing it any favors. “Your kid is your priority, Dixon. You don’t need to hover. They’re good.” Massaging your temples, you sighed. “I’m sure Hershel will tell you if anything changes.”

The mattress dipped beside you, your eyes opening and fingers ceasing their movements. Daryl wasn’t looking at you. He was actually looking at his knees, where one hand was clenched so tightly, his knuckles were white. His other hand was planted on the mattress, the trembling shaking the surface beneath you.

“Ya heard that?”

You swallowed, your heart feeling heavy and suffocating beneath your ribcage. “I did.” You wanted to push him off the bed, yell at him until he felt as bad as he made you feel.

“Didn’t mean it.”

You scoffed. “Then why’d you say it?” The archer looked pained, confused. “You know, it’s fine if you don’t want to be anything with me. Doesn’t mean we can’t raise our kid together.”

“That ain’t it.”

“Then what is it because this hot and cold with you is getting really old.” You laughed wryly.

“I didn’t mean to do that.” He cleared his throat and sat back a little, hand hovering over your belly before he placed it on his thigh next to the other. “Kiss ya. Not, uh—not like that.”

You couldn’t help but chuckle. His cheeks were tinted pink, the tips of his ears matching the shade.

“That’s okay. I turned my head. It was—”

“I wanted to.” He clarified quickly, shutting you right the hell up. “Just didn’t mean to.” God, that man was confusing as fuck. Just like you had said: hot and cold. “Ain’t good with words. Never have been.”

You shrugged flippantly. “Always good with them when we’re fucking.”

“Y/N.” He deadpanned.

“Sorry.” Licking your lips, you wiped away your smile. “So, you want to kiss me?”

“Yeah.”

“But it was an accident?”

“Yeah.”

“Right.” This was beyond hot and cold. This was eternal hellfire and hypothermia. “Daryl, can you just—say what you want?”

“Told ya, ain’t good with words.” You opened your mouth but then he was leaning forward pressing his lips to yours, gentle and chaste, leaving you yearning for just a little more. His eyes were dancing back and forth between yours, fear and uncertainty blooming in the cerulean pools.

“Do you want to know what I want?” Your fingertip brushed over the scar on this temple, moving his hair a little. It was growing and he wasn’t stopping it. You kinda liked it. Your focus returned to his gaze, and he nodded. “You. Me. Thumper. I never thought I’d have a family and then I thought I’d be a mom and you’d be a dad and we’d coparent as friends.”

“That whatcha want?”

“Shut up and let me finish.” You struggled not to laugh when his mouth shut with a click of teeth. “I want you and me to raise little Thumper. Together. Not as friends. It’s okay if you don’t wan—”

This kiss was a bit more. More tongues, more teeth, more vigor. When he moved away, it was only to start pulling at your clothing, coaxing a hearty laugh from your throat as he wrestled your sweatpants off with a bit of a struggle.

“Wait!” You called out, holding out a hand to have him freeze. Your chin trembled with the absolutely agonizing attempt to hold back more laughter. “Does this mean you like me?”

Your sweatpants landed on your face.

“Shuddup.”

502 notes · View notes

foggyfrogss · 1 year ago

Text

⋆ HIEMAL ₊˚.

tf! Sukuna x f! Reader | Warnings: MDNI, Sexual Content

Chapter One - Next Chapter - Masterlist | ᴡᴏʀᴅs: 7.3ᴋ - Discord 18+

A/N: Considering we don't know much in regards to Sukuna's past... I hope I do my best in portraying that in my story. In the beginning he is human but I will tell the story of how he turns into what he is now.

ʏᴇᴀʀ: 940 | ᴀɢᴇ: 24

“I thought I told you to stop being careless when training,” you huff out in a quiet tone in rhythm with the crackling fire inside the Irori. Your words earn a huff of annoyance from the man who sat in front of you.

The overall atmosphere was thick with rising silent tension as you wiped away the blood from Ryomen Sukuna’s shoulder. His tight skin flexes under your touch.

“What would your father do if he found you tending to the wounds of someone like me?”

You’re stunned by the gruffness of his voice. The sudden exposure of emotion being rare, especially from him. You sigh.

You had stopped your movements with the cloth. Moving it away from his shoulder to dip it back into the bucket of warmed water. His wound had stopped bleeding now.

“My father has no say in what I choose to do. I’m a grown woman, Ryomen.” You tell him but it earns a grunt from his lips. Why did he always have to be such a brute? At times the stoic, tough-guy act had irked you to no ends, like now. “You are a Nobleman’s daughter. To be seen with someone as me,” he begins, suddenly turning to face you, “it would be considered immoral.”

The room had grown quiet once more, only the sounds of crackling twigs filling your ears as the two of you locked eyes. His intense gaze showing through to you even in the dimness of the room. It almost made you shudder as light chills prickled down your spine and through your arms.

Your fingers clenched around the drenched cloth to expel the tainted water from it, bringing you back to your senses.

“You know I don’t see you in that way…” you whispered softly to him. The words that came from your lips do no favor in relieving the suffocating tension that had begun to swell.

As you raise the cloth to continue tending to his wound, he snatches your wrist in his hand. The substantial size of it completely engulfing it. His long fingers squeeze but not enough to cause discomfort. It’s a comforting pinch, combined with the warmth of his fiery skin; it makes your body buzz.

“Define ‘that way’,” he demands with a squeeze of your wrist. All you do is swallow nervously at the sight before you. His sharp gaze darkening even further as he awaits your reply. You take in a deep breath, cursing at yourself internally for how shaken it had sounded. Waves of fluttering anxiety burst through you and pool in the base of your gut, feeling as if a kaleidoscope of butterflies had been released within you.

Angry, hungry, and eager butterflies.

Your legs had pressed together firmly, relieving yourself of the blooming heat that grew further below.

“A curse,” you begin, feeling his grip tighten even further as your smaller voice sounded, “an outcast. They’re scared of you.” The last sentence comes out in barely a whisper.

He releases your wrist from his hold.

A sudden gust of cold air that surrounds you as his abrupt stand almost puts you into shock. The heat from the irori nonexistent as you finally release a shudder. It was almost as if the air from the winter storm had made its way inside.

“Let me stitch it before you leave,” you quickly let out, noticing how painful it looked. “It’ll heal fine. It’s not that deep,” is all you hear him grunt out. His back is facing you again. The light from the fire illuminating the broadness of it. His fair skin glowing in a tasteful way as he gathers his kimono that pools at his waist where it’s tied. He hadn’t fully removed it, not intending to stay long in the first place.

You watch in awe, entranced by the way his back muscles flex under his skin. Once again you swallow nervously, but for a whole other reason. The heat in your body signaling you why.

“Let me help you,” you insist as you finally stand with him. His right shoulder, the one he’d injured, proved weaker as he slowly pulls up the kimono sleeve. Your much smaller hands meet his to take it from them, pulling the thick fabric over his shoulder neatly. He replies with a grunt as he accepts your help.

With no issue he slides on the other sleeve.

As he fixes how it sits on his body, your eyes scan the room for his haori. The black clump of fabric by the door probably it. You didn’t own any fabrics dark in color. Your mother and father kept you dressed in bright ones; noticeable colors.

You take the fairly weighty haori into your hands and pull it off the floor. It’s softness bringing a comfort to your exposed skin as you walk it towards Sukuna. He’d turned his gaze towards you, capturing your eyes with his own as he takes the article of clothing from your hands.

You assume the rest as you begin to help him guide his arm into the sleeves. With light movements you do the same as you did with his kimono.

“If it’s giving you anymore trouble-“ you begin but quickly you’re cut off by his deep voice, “I won’t. You have done enough.”

You’re left speechless as he ties the haori together.

The average person would have been hurt and confused by his blunt usage of words, but you weren’t a fool. You’d known him since your early childhood, where you were fortunate enough to see a man such as him smile freely with fervor. It’d been years since you’d seen his lips do anything but the scowl that rested there indefinitely.

Though at times, you did find your chest twisting uncomfortably at his words. Especially in moments like this where you wished nothing more than for him to stay here with you in the comforting warm silence.

You also didn’t want him to walk back to his home alone in the snow storm. He lived across the village from you. Located in the less fortunate side. It was at most a fifteen minute walk.

“You want to say something else.” He states rather than asks you. He’s turned his gaze away from you now, walking towards the door. His shoes were at the main entrance of the estate, where you’d walk him to so he wouldn’t get lost in such a grand house. “Perhaps…” you trail off nervously, holding your arms over your stomach as if you were hugging yourself. In the long length of your sleeve, you bunch up the fabric in your fists, doing what you can to calm your buzzing nerves.

Why were you so nervous?

“Perhaps, you could stay here tonight?” You ask him innocently, causing him to freeze his movements. His towering height causes you to bend your neck to look up towards him. The back of his head in your view as you wait for his answer.

Why had you even asked such an ignorant question? You were sure he’d decline-

Your thoughts are silenced by the deep sigh you heard come from him. A noise that proved rather rare from him. Ryomen Sukuna was not one to express his emotions. In any way.

He then turns, “I had not taken the snow into consideration. It would be quite troubling to return home this late with it coming down.”

It’s when you smile, his eyes widen in shock at the sudden expression from you. You knew you wouldn’t be getting a simple ‘yes’ or ‘no’ from the man. He was a mystery to all but you’d like to think you knew him best… at times.

“The only concern I have with staying the night is being found by anyone of the estate. What do you think they’d think?” He asks you with concern and you sigh, uncrossing your arms from your body to cross them over your chest. “You can just stay in my room-“ he cuts you off almost instantly. “You are not an idiot but your words are starting to prove otherwise,” he says and you chuckle. “If you would let me finish… you can stay in my room. The servants and my parents never disturb me unless something of important is happening that morning. In the midst of a snow storm, I think I can sneak you out early tomorrow with no trouble.”

Your words seem to calm the sudden tension surrounding Sukuna, but the scowl he holds still remains. “So be it.” He mumbles. You give him a warm smile as you walk to the Irori to smother the flames a bit. You wondered if you should just hunker down in this room rather than your own… the only sources of heat being here and the same on your father’s side of the house.

The servants frequented this area, sadly. It was futile and you sighed in defeat as you stood straight.

You usually hadn’t been bothered much by the winter temperatures as your bedding served you quite warmly… you just worried about your guest.

“Follow me,” you whisper as you slide the door open to leave. Immediately, the colder air of the house hits your exposed skin eliciting a shiver from you. You were sure the nervousness of having a guest was not helping your case.

After closing the door behind himself, Sukuna follows you down the dark hallway of your home. The creaking of the wooden floors sounding due to the sheer weight of his body. Each groan off the floor caused an inner grimace, leaving you more nervous as you slowly approached your room.

You only hoped it wouldn’t wake anyone up. It was usually always quiet, especially this time of night.

“Here we are,” you whisper just loud enough for his ears to register. He follows behind you swiftly as you enter the room. The scuffling sound of the sliding door closing makes you hold your breath. As soon as it shuts, you release it, breathing out in a huff.

In a quick movement, you’re in the corner of your room, finding the supplies to light the lantern. It didn’t provide much light, but once lit; you are able to find Ryomen Sukuna standing at the other side of your room. Its warm lighting manages to fill only that corner of the room in which you stood.

The dark corner holds the presence of Ryomen Sukuna. Orange light reflects from his glassy eyes as he stares back at you.

“I have a spare futon in the cabinet. Let me fetch it,” you mumble, hoping the thin walls at least muffle that level of sound. Sukuna doesn’t respond.

His presence in your bedroom is nerve wracking. You’d never had a man in such a intimate place before and if you were to be caught…

You shake the thoughts from your mind as you grasp at the soft futon roll stashed away. Once you pull it free; you lay it flat on the floor beside your own. A servant must have made yours hours ago.

Yet, when you realize how close he would be sleeping next to you; your eyes scan the room for any other possible arrangement.

The size of the room wouldn’t allow it. With the size he was, laying next to you would prove more comfortable.

Once laid flat, you drop to your knees to further fix the fluff of it. You’d let him borrow one of your blankets since you did not have an extra; at least in this room. You would rather freeze to death than risk being caught by anyone at this hour.

“You can use one of my blankets,” you tell him and he releases a grunt. “I’ll do no such thing.” He says with finality. Who were you to object against him when he spoke as sternly as he did. Though guiltily, you nod.

With a flicker, you notice the lantern’s light cascading into a lighter glow. The oil must have been low. You hadn’t checked it in a while and you weren’t sure when you actually did check it last. That meant you wouldn’t have to exit your futon to put it out; perfect, you thought.

As Sukuna lowered to sit himself on the plush futon, you turn towards your folding screen. It laid folded up against the wall, but you’d need to unfold it so you could change without Sukuna seeing. The thought of him accidentally catching a glimpse of you nude has your face fuming, but you quickly shake it off. You grasp at the bamboo screen; paper ruffling as you slowly unfold it. “I need to change out of this kimono. It’s rather uncomfortable to sleep in,” you explain quickly before walking behind it.

In a few quick motions, you shed yourself of your layers. You immediately felt the iciness of winter graze against your bare skin. Your teeth clench as you keep yourself from chattering them.

You had set the screen up with your cabinet behind it. It held your extra clothing, such as your white yukata, which you reached for. With haste, you put it on to keep any warmth you had left inside of you. It’s soft material already doing wonders as if traps your body heat it. The cold makes your fingers hard to move as you tie the yukata together.

You’d kept the thick socks you had on before.

When you stepped out from the cover of the folding screen, you catch Sukuna’s eyes. His dark iris’ stealing a glance before they quickly rip away. It sends a wave of heat through you, which you’re grateful for.

“Does the light bother you?” You ask him as you kneel down to your futon. Your icy fingers peel back the blankets so you can slide in with ease.

Sukuna shakes his head, “I’ve slept in much worse conditions.”

After tucking yourself into the depths of your futon and pulling the blankets over your body; you’re left with your thoughts. The silence of the room radiating around the two of you as you wonder what to do next. Should you bid him goodnight?

The sudden sound of wind slamming against the thin outer wall of the estate makes you jump. “It’s getting worse out,” you mumble as you glance towards the shut window of your room. The shutters had been latched already; probably by a servant. You sigh, tucking your chilled hands into any warmth you could find under your blankets.

You glance out of the corner of your eye to find Sukuna. He’d already laid flat. His large back facing you. For some reason, you felt disappointed. Did he already subdue to slumber? He’d been training extensively the last day and a half… perhaps he was more exhausted than you’d thought.

Alone with your thoughts, as you always seemed to be.

You find it hard to find sleep, staring above at the ceiling as the lantern flickers lightly. Its orange hue illuminating the room in a beautiful way.

It feels like an eternity passes as you wait for sleep, but it doesn’t seem to come. The only thing creeping up on you being the chills. Your feet were miserably icy and your hands ached. You wouldn’t be able to sleep at this rate, you thought. Yet, when you glanced towards the large sleeping man beside you… he was still.

Your eyes widened when you realized he’d been sleeping on his injured shoulder. He must’ve been tougher than you thought to do such a thing.

A shiver breaks through you painfully and you curl your legs into you. The fetal position you form being the best technique at keeping any form of heat in. Yet, you still shiver away. Teeth chatter quietly inside your closed mouth. You really hoped he couldn’t hear-

“I can hear you shivering,” he utters with a quiet sigh. His deep voice softer than usual. “You’re hearing th-things,” you say and immediately clench your teeth, shrinking back into your futon for stuttering. Talking while fighting the cold had always been a challenge.

The shuffling of fabric catches your ears and you move your eyes towards his form. He’d turned over, facing you in all his glory. The light of the lantern illuminating his face partly, but just enough to where you could meet his dark gaze.

The two of you live in each other’s eyes for just a few seconds before he raises his right hand, a tinge of pain washing over his features. Yet, before you could protest; he’s placed his index and middle finger against your cheek. The warmth from his fingers being drastically different than the coolness of your cheek. It almost makes you gasp, but your lips only part a bit.

“You are going to turn to ice at this rate,” he mumbles and the low vibrations of his voice ignite the fire within you. You take in a shaking breath, grateful you could blame that one on the cold if he noticed. “I’m used t-to it,” you say with a pitiful smile. He isn’t convinced, you notice.

He’s removed his hand from your face. Now grasping the thick blankets above you. He peels them off of you slowly, as if he were unwrapping an important artifact. Yet, he moves it just enough to where you’re still partially covered but he moves closer to you. His large body moves closely against yours as he pulls the blankets back over the both of you now. You were grateful to have such a large futon.

In a situation like this, you’d be alarmed by a man climbing into your futon without permission.

It was Sukuna, after all. His towering height and burly body sucked you in almost immediately. The heat in which he radiated made you sigh in relief as the aching iciness in your bones slowly left you.

It was innocent, you felt. He meant no other reason other than warming you up. Once warm, he’d return to his original spot… the thought hit your gut with a wave of heavy dread. Disappointment.

Eagerness. Carnal desire.

You glanced up towards his face, which sat a whole other head above yours. An ache in the back of your neck could be felt due to the angle you’d positioned it. “How is it now?” He asks you in a hushed tone. When he speaks the lantern flickers, as if he had influenced it.

The distance between your bodies is small; enough to wear you could just barely feel the hardness of his large body against yours. It’s intoxicating and quite pitiful how it darkens your mind.

When you move to rest on your right arm, fully facing his body with your own; you boldly place your left hand against the area where his upper stomach would be. Just right below his pectorals. The heat under the palm of your hand was exponential and you were shocked any human man could emit this much heat. Though you weren’t complaining.

Far from it actually.

The simple touch had shot the heat that absorbed into your hand directly to the other parts of your body. From your toes to the tip of your nose, you radiated with sparks. The internal flame within you bursting alive a hunger you never experienced before.

The sensation causes you to close your eyes as you focus on where you’re touching him.

You feel how solid he was even with the layers he wore. The ridges of his abdominal muscles could be felt as you steadily roam your hand over him; exploring his body as if he were uncharted land. That in which he was. You’d never touched a man before… especially in this way. It exhilarated you, feeling Sukuna in the way you are now.

With his warmth and musky scent surrounding you; you’d completely forgotten how cold you were before. All senses were taken over by him. Your sight, smell, touch, even hearing… but one.

As your roaming hand finds the curve of his waist. It slides over it seamlessly, laying flat against his broad back. The muscles they’re just as stone-like as the front. You take that opportunity to pull him closer to you, closing the distance between your bodies. Stone muscles move under your hand as you feel him willingly scoot closer from your push.

He’s fully placed his right hand on the curve of your waist, holding it in a firm grip. The overwhelming largeness of it forming to your curves. His fingers slightly dig into the softness of your flesh that’s still covered by the yukata.

That’s when you finally reopen your eyes, noticing how much closer his face was to yours. He’d moved a bit down to meet your eyes. His nose aligned with the the tip of yours as you still bend your neck to look at him.

“You didn’t answer my question,” he rasps out; his deep voice making it difficult to speak quietly. The closeness of his voice sends a thrilling shiver through your body. You could feel the heat of his breath against your lips, causing you to bite your bottom one just barely enough to where he wouldn’t notice.

“It’s perfect,” you murmur.

You take hold of his haori with a fist, pressing your body even closer to his. All you can hear is your heartbeat in your ears and the feeling of the actual muscle thumping viciously against your chest. Your thighs rub together as you do your best to give yourself some sort of sensation, but Sukuna seems to have noticed.

The hand he had resting in the crook of your waist tightens its hold against you, making you gasp at the sudden shift.

He’s leaned closer; his lips just barely touching your own as he breathes against them. Warm, intoxicating breaths reel you in as seconds pass. You grow impatient, waiting for the warmth of his lips to be on your own. Yet, when he suddenly pulls away; you’re stunned.

He doesn’t pull away completely. Your bodies are still pressed against each other frustratingly so, but he takes his free hand that’s pinned between the two of you, grabbing your chin with his thumb and index finger.

All Sukuna does is gaze down at you with such an intense, hungry look. The darkness that’s swelled into his eyes shows prominently even in the faint lantern light. It’s inebriating, making you drunk off lust just by just the way he looks down at you.

Technically, you were above him; in class and more, but you wanted nothing more than to worship this man like he was your king.

You were on your knees for this man.

“Ryomen…” you plead, unsure what you’re even begging for. The soft way your voice breaks as you say his name almost causes his composure to crack. “Please.”

That’s when he’s on you, pressing his surprisingly soft lips against your own in a starving way. You immediately sigh into him, basking in his warmth, scent, and taste.

He tastes inviting; a flavor that attacks your tastebuds in almost a sinful way.

It’s delectable, swimming with hints of sweetness and bitterness that pulls you in.

Your hand on his back slides towards his chest now, resting against his large pectoral. The feeling of his erratic heartbeat could be felt under your palm as your hand slowly danced its way towards the back of his neck. Bare skin.

Against the flesh of your palm lay his warm skin, melting into you as if it were meant to stay there forever. Your fingers find his hairline, treading into the soft depths of his thick but short hair. When he feels your touch grazing against his scalp, he pulls you closer to him. Your chests are pressed against each other/

Your action bringing out a low rumble within his chest. One you could feel vibrating into your own. It felt oddly intimate, but as he licks his way into your mouth; you accept it.

His wet tongue grazes across your bottom lip before slightly pushing between both. You fully welcome him into your mouth, dancing your tongues together in a sensual rhythm. It almost makes you moan.

In the back of your lust drunken mind, you knew to be as quiet as possible. The challenge ahead of you fairing quite difficult already.

He then pulls away. The sound of your lips separating with an erotic sound. You’re gasping for air as he stares down at you with a passionate desire. His lips are swollen; rosy with color. Pink eyebrows are furrowed together frustratingly as he searches your face with his deep eyes.

You release your hand from his hair, brushing it back down the exposed potion of his large neck. You are still breathing heavily. Chest heaving in rhythm with your hammering heart beat.

Sukuna moves his hand from your chin to the back of your neck now, pushing your lips closer to his once more.

“If I’d known you tasted like that,” Sukuna grunts against your equally swollen lips with your own, “I would have devoured you a long time ago.”

Your self-control slips; lust and desire fully controlling you as you feel your instincts take over completely.

“What’s stopping you now?” You ask him, closing your eyes as you lean further in. His mouth is fully pressed against yours but he replies anyways; words muffled as he speaks into your mouth, “your clothing.”

When he’s pressed his lips fully onto yours for another, more intense kiss; he’s using the hand on your waist to untie the binds of your yukata. The fingers on the back of your neck dig into your skin just enough to earn a light grunt from you.

The feeling of cold air dances over your exposed stomach as he removes the yukata as if he’s unwrapping a gift. Slowly; just to be sure he doesn’t break what’s inside.

Even under the thick covers of the futon you could feel the chilling temperatures of the storm just outside your walls.

Sukuna’s intense body heat had quickly enveloped your newly exposed flesh. His hand exploring what he’d unwrapped to discover his new terrain.

When his large hand takes hold of the swell of your ass, you’re bucking into him. His fingers dig into the soft flesh as he pulls you tighter against him, bucking back into you. A grunt comes from his chest and into your mouth as he kisses you feverishly.

That’s when you feel the intimidatingly large and hard sensation of his eager erection pressed against your lower stomach. Though he wasn’t bare; it felt- your thoughts are cut off by his hand sliding from your ass and down your bare leg, hooking it over his waist. His strong fingers gripping into the flesh of your thigh.

While still attached to your mouth he flips you under him, planting both of forearms on either side of your head as he places one last heavy kiss to your abused lips.

With how you’re laying under him, it’s caused your yukata to completely open. Your body fully exposed to the man atop you. His gaze lingers as he glances at your breasts; to your neck; to your lips again, and finally your eyes.

“You’re heavenly,” he mumbles, taking his right hand to hold the side of your face. His thumb presses against your bottom lip while moves your head to give himself access to your neck. “Divine,” he continues his praise, pressing wet kisses along the expanse of your neck. “Elegant,” he says into your chilled skin. His compliments leave your stomach swirling with heat, pooling in your core between your legs.

Your thighs instinctively press together but are blocked by the girth of his waist between them. When he realizes what you need; he’s bucking his erection against your core, causing a sweet but quiet moan to fall from your lips.

“Please,” you gasp out in a whisper, feeling the way his thumb strokes across your wet bottom lip. He slides it into your mouth, pressing against your tongue as he moves his head to catch your eyes once more. “What do you want?” He asks you.

Once he removes his large thumb your words stumble out in a mess, “I want you, please.” You say pitifully, squeezing your thighs around his waist even tighter.

It’s when he chuckles, you’re feeling the vibrations of his deep voice radiating through his body. You didn’t care that he found humor in your begging. If anything, it reeled you in even more. He had you fully wrapped around his finger and soon his cock.

He doesn’t speak as he pulls away from you. Between your legs, he moves back to sit on his knees, reaching to remove his haori. The sound of him hissing has you in full alarm, but he immediately throws a hand up. “Don’t,” he commands and you nod, laying completely still in his line of sight as he undresses himself.

His haori soon slides off his broad shoulders, revealing the white kimono. Unlike other men, he only wore the single layer of kimono. It was probably due to his status… but that didn’t matter.

When he unties the kimono; he’s soon shrugging it off with ease, ignoring the pain in his right shoulder. His black hakama are all that remain as you take in view of the man before you. His large upper body had blocked out the light from the lantern, casting a shadow over you.

The night air quickly takes its chance to send a shiver down your spine once again. Your hands shake as you run them up your body, grazing them over your breasts in an almost taunting way. You feel how hard your nipples had gotten from the winter air. As you touch yourself under his gaze, you arch your back into your hands.

Within seconds, he’s removed his last layer. He’s standing above you now, stepping out of the hakama.

Yet, before you could even take the chance to glance at what he had been keeping contained within his clothing; he’s atop you once more, returning the heat you had missed desperately.

He takes a second to warm you up before pressing his fully bare cock against your clit, spreading a warmth into you that you hadn’t known you needed. It’s such a pleasurable sensation you throw your head back with a silent gasp, holding his gaze.

“You are a virgin, right?” He asks you, genuinely curious. You hadn’t ever discussed such topics with him. Of course he wouldn’t have known. “Yes…” you breathe out as he holds his wait up with his left forehead beside your head. He’s leaned down to press his lips under your ear, nipping at it. You twitch as the sudden sharpness, shuddering when he chuckles.

“I’m glad I get to be the one to ruin you.”

His words in your ear make your heart hammer harder against your chest, if that was even possible.

Your hands had moved from your breasts to his bare sides, taking in the entirety or Ryomen Sukuna. For just a 25 year old man, he held more power over any other man in the village. He held power over you as well; you were completely, absolutely his.

The way his ripped muscles felt under your fingers was driving you mad, causing you to buck up into him. A light hiss releasing from his lips into the skin of your neck as he kisses down to your collar bone.

Soon enough, he’s taken one of your nipples into his mouth. The other breast being fondled by his large hand. You release the loudest moan you had so far, which causes him to release the breast in his hand to cover your mouth.

You glance down, locking your eyes with his as he lightly nips at your nipple with his white teeth.

“As much as I want to hear those pretty sounds,” he mumbles into the flesh of your breast. He nips at your flesh, possibly leaving a mark before finishing his sentence, “I’m not trying to be banished from the village right now.”

He releases your mouth and your lips part, showing your eagerness for all of him.

Yet, he pulls his waist away from yours.

The hand he’d used to cover your mouth trails down the curve of your waist and over your hip… it finds its way back over the soft expanse of your stomach and then further below. His thick fingers graze over the sensitive flesh of your clit, sliding between the folds with ease as he discovers just how wet you are.

The foreign sensation has you electrified, making your hips jerk at his touch. You’d never been touched like that before.

He swirls his fingers over you and your eyes slam shut as you buck into him. It’s indescribable how pleasant it feels; a warm and blooming sensation growing in the base of your gut as he does so. You can hear his light chuckling even with your heart hammering in your ears.

You wonder how it could get any better than this… but when you open your eyes, you’re watching as Sukuna takes your other nipple in his mouth. Just as he does, you feel a warm intrusion and a groan from the both of you.

“You’re so tight,” he says into your flesh as you feel his tongue swirl around your nipple. You could feel his two fingers deep inside of you, slowly moving back out as you adjudge to the sheer size of them.

It wasn’t painful, but from the chatter of the other women… you were told in times it could do. He hadn’t even gotten to the main part yet, you thought. It’s possibly it wouldn’t hurt.

He begins to thrust his fingers into you with a slow pattern. Each time he’d bottom out to his knuckle, you’d release a breath. The sensation was unreal; unlike anything you’d ever felt before.

He releases his breast from his mouth to kiss your sternum. His lips trail further below, kissing the area above your belly button.

“More,” you plead, taking your hand to cup the side of his face. He looks at you softly, but a sly smirk grows on his features. “If you weren’t in danger of freezing to death I could do so much more,” he promises as he climbs back up your body. He’s removed his fingers from your clit, bringing them towards his face.

You watch as he sticks them into his mouth, cleaning yourself off of him with a feral look in his eyes. “Like what?” You ask him, interested. “In time you’ll see. For now,” he explains, removing his fingers from his mouth, “I say we stick to the first step.”

You weren’t an idiot, so you knew what that meant. A part of you wondered if he was holding back, especially after learning you were celibate.

Yet, when you feel the way his cock sits heavily against your clit, you swallow nervously. You hadn’t even seen it but you could feel how big it was.

On instinct, you reach between your bodies to find it. Your fingertips coming into contact with something large and very warm. It’s when he hisses that you’re sure you did the right thing. You take him in your hand, squeezing just a bit as you feel how large he actually was. A but if wetness can be felt dripping down your hand.

You were nervous.

As he looked down at you, catching the nervous look in your eyes; Sukuna sighs, “I’ll be easy,” he tells you. You nod, sliding your hand down his shaft which gets a buck of his hips and a sly remark, “at first.”

“I’m not a fragile person,” you remind him, making his eyebrow raise. “Give me all you got.”

Your words you almost regret as he takes your hand from his cock and gathers your other one to pin them at the top of your head. “You’ll regret demanding that of me,” he tells you and you don’t reply. “Please,” is all you beg.

He keeps your hands bound with just his left hand as he takes his right to position himself at your entrance. You can feel as he spreads the wetness with his tip through your folds, teasing you a bit. You buck into him again, tired of waiting.

All you wanted was to be fully taken over by Sukuna. “Take me,” you plead to him, feeling his tip make its way back to your entrance.

He then releases your bound wrists to hold himself up as he begins pushing in further. “You’re drenched,” he purrs, his eyes closed as he pulls back out a bit to push back in.

You’d never seen his face as soft as it was now. He looked as if he was in pure ecstasy, taking your virginity as if it were just some collectors item. You’d gladly gift it to him.

When his cock finally makes it a quarters way in, you hiss. Your hands push at his lower abdomen on impulse. The sudden intrusion bringing a slightly searing pain you didn’t expect to feel. He immediately stops, glancing up at you in concern.

You nod once, removing your hands from his stomach to signal he can continue. You clench your eyes shut, holding onto his forearms as he finally slides himself completely inside. You’re slightly squirming, adjusting to the new feeling of being stuffed. It’s painful, but also exhilarating.

You’re panting now, digging your face into the stone muscle of his left arm. He’s motionless, letting you decide the next move.

“You can move,” you finally whisper after a few seconds. He does, almost eagerly.

Within seconds, you feel the pain being taken over by waves of intense pleasure. Though still slightly uncomfortable, it’s the way Sukuna’s face makes you feel as he slowly thrusts into you. It’s heartwarming, seeing his pink lashes flutter close as he bottoms out into you over and over. He’s breathtaking, you tell yourself.

It’s when you release one of your hands from his arms to cup the side of his face, causing his eyes to open. He looks absolutely spent, probably from the training and being up.

Beads of sweat pool at his hairline as his dark eyes stare into your own.

“You’re beautiful,” you tell him with your whole heart. His thrusts become a lot heavier and quicker in pace. He’s not making a sound, but you could hear the almost silent grunts coming from behind his clenched teeth.

You’re sighing, feeling the same building up sensation as before in your stomach. “Ryomen!” You gasp, pulling him to you so your chests lay flat together. He’s still pounding into you, hard enough to where it’s not going to overstimulate you. It’s enough.

He’s placed his forearm behind your head, letting the back of it rest on it as his other lay flat on the other side. He’s got his lips back on yours, releasing a pent up groan into your mouth.

If you could have it your way, you’d be chanting his name as loud as you could. Praising him and pleasing him.

For now, your quiet promises to each other would have to do. You feel a sudden jolt, which causes your hips to buck into his thrusts. “I- I’m-“ you gasp out, unsure of what you’re even saying. “You’re what?” He asks into your lips, a slight smirk growing on his own. Your breaths are mixed together as you pant pitifully against him.

“I don’t know,” you confess, taking your hand to press against your stomach. “It feels-“ is all you say before he thrusts just a bit harder, gaining a whimper out of you. “Quiet,” he hisses, taking one of his hands to snake between the two of you.

He understands what you’re trying to tell him even though you aren’t sure. It excites him, knowing he can tear down your walls this easily.

He’s touching your clit again while he pounds into you. The sensations so good you gasp.

After about a minute, you’re unfolding in his hands. Your body feeling as if it were burning as it blossoms on his thrusting cock. “That’s right,” he rasps out, “let go.”

You were a whimpering mess as his continuous thrusting helped you through this new form of high. You never knew you could feel this way. It was addicting, and you wanted to feel it again.

As the high slowly faded, leaving you in an after glow; your body ached. Yet, he continued his movements, removing his hand from your clit to completely focus on himself now. You allowed him to, because though it felt like a lot… it was still pleasing, feeling him use you to please himself.

“Use me,” you tell him. He’d moved his face into the crook of your neck. His ear right next to your mouth. “I’m yours,” you whisper against his burning flesh. He grunts into your neck, thankfully muffled.

He then snakes his left arm under your back, grabbing your hip with his right hand. His fingers dig into your flesh.

Relentlessly, he’s pounding into you. Using you.

You’re overcome with pleasure, closing your eyes as you feel him bite into your neck as he nears his climax.

When he gets close, his thrusts become irregular. His breathing becoming heavier as the arm below you presses you into his body further.

His teeth graze against the skin of your neck before he bites down, hard.

You’re left gasping as he suddenly pulls out of you, placing his heavy cock on your stomach and thrusting against your soft skin as your bodies are pressed together.

You feel a sudden wet warmness on you. Assuming it was sweat, he then pulls away. His chest heaving as he stares down at the mess he’s made. You’re covered in his cum and his cock twitches at the sight of it.

One of his hands goes to cover his mouth as looks down at you. You’re glowing and he’s holding himself back; keeping himself from taking you once more.

He knew you probably would actually break.

He glances around the room and finds his kimono, taking the sleeve to wipe at your stomach. “It shouldn’t stain this,” he murmurs quietly as he cleans you. There was nothing else in the room to do so with.

You’re already back into a shivering mess and the sight makes him sigh. “Be patient,” he whispers. You nod, watching him finish. As he places his kimono away for now, he turns back to you.

Sukuna finds your yukata and wraps it back around you. The comfort of the cloth enveloping your body as he ties it.

It’s when he fully stands, you’re able to fully appreciate his naked body. He was a sight to behold and you wondered how someone like you could possibly be considered of higher rank than him…

He dresses himself, but just his hakama.

When he slides back under the blankets of the futon, his naked chest bleeds his heat onto you.

Your mind jumps to his wound, immediately concerned. You hadn’t spotted any blood but when you ask him to show you… it’s healed. The once deep wound nothing but a red line showing what it used to be. It’s genuinely shocking.

With wide eyes you stare at him but he continues to slide further into the futon. His gaze darkening as you eye him questioningly. “It’s none of your concern,” is all he says before he pulls you to him.

You knew better than to pester him any further on it. In time, you’d learn.

He keeps you warm the rest of the night.

You listen to the sounds of his heartbeat in one ear and the whistling of the wind outside in the other. It’s calming.

As you awake in the morning, you’re wrapped in an extra layer. The black fabric thick against your skin.

It smells heavily of Ryomen Sukuna as you blink the sleep away from your eyes, finding his haori wrapped around you.

Sukuna was no where in sight.

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phyx-m · 21 days ago

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Beneath The Silk

True form Sukuna x Reader

You’re forced into a marriage with the King of Curses as part of a scheme to end his life. With your cursed gift, it should be an easy task. You couldn’t be more wrong.

* * * * *

This is my first fanfic :D I hope you enjoy, it's going to be a long journey.

* * * * *

The links to the masterlist are below.

🔗 Originally posted on AO3 (I thought I would post on Tumblr, though I may not be as active/slow to update. Forgive me!)

Status: Ongoing

Estimated chapter count: 26 completed/60

🔗 Music playlist (if you're into that!)

* * * * *

Explicit. NSFW. Minors DNI.

Tags and warnings: Cannibalism, non-con elements, forced marriage, blood and gore, violence, female reader, slow burn, smut, Sukuna has two dicks, Sukuna’s extra mouths, heavy angst, eventual romance, trauma, reader is touch starved, panic attacks, protective Sukuna, possessive Sukuna, tension, sexual tension, manipulation, touch her and die, soft Sukuna, Sukuna POVs, Sukuna starts off very cruel, enemies to lovers, slight canon divergence, reader has powers but won't use until later, Heian era, misogyny, cursed techniques aren't explained, reader has a sister, finding yourself, falling in love?, child abuse, size difference, additional warnings at beginnings of chapters, dismemberment, not beta read.

* * * * *

Masterlist

🔗 Prologue

🔗 Chapter 1: A Walk In The Forest With The Devil

🔗 Chapter 2: Rip And Tear

🔗 Chapter 3: Sanctified To The Thing With The Pink Hair

🔗 Chapter 4: The Belly Of The Beast

🔗 Chapter 5: Nightly Visits

🔗 Chapter 6: The Tip Of Your Tongue

🔗 Chapter 7: Duality Of A Different Kind

🔗 Chapter 8: The Remedy For Bad Dreams

🔗 Chapter 9: The Space Between

🔗 Chapter 10: A Snake Shedding Its Skin

🔗 Chapter 11: The Tragedy Of Want And Need

🔗 Chapter 12: Falling, Too

🔗 Chapter 13: Ruiner

🔗 Chapter 14: All The Hands Past Midnight

🔗 Chapter 15: All The Hands At Dawn

🔗 Chapter 16: Everything Unwanted

🔗 Chapter 17: The Lies We Tell Ourselves

🔗 Chapter 18: Snake Den

🔗 Chapter 19: Something's Burning

🔗 Chapter 20: Still A Monster

🔗 Chapter 21: A Warm Place

🔗 Chapter 22: Small Blade

🔗 Chapter 23: Rotting Wound And A Hole In The Wall

🔗 Chapter 24: The Devil At Your Back

🔗 Chapter 25: Something Wicked This Way Comes

🔗 Chapter 26: The Other Daughter

#true form sukuna #heian sukuna #sukuna x you #sukuna smut #slow burn #beneath the silk #jjk #dark romance #dark content #sukuna fanfic #dark fantasy #sukuna x reader #jujustu kaisen fanfic #enemies to lovers

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call-sign-shark · 2 years ago

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Heaven In Your Eyes || Masterlist

Pairing: Arthur Shelby x Reader!OC (Heaven Lavey Shelby)

Additional content/Info: CLICK HERE

Fic Summary: He meets her at church one dreary night, guided by her singing. Her name? Heaven Lavey. White ivory hair, fair porcelain skin, and petite shape, this almost ethereal creature is Arthur's strict opposite. Yet, all it took was one dive into her heavenly eyes for him to be convinced God has sent His sweetest angel to save his bastard soul. The two lovebirds, obsessed with each other, are determined to live their love no matter people's judgments and no matter the dangers of a Peaky Blinder's life. They are together through the best and through the worst.

But behind her holy appearance and sweet facade, Heaven Lavey is dangerous. With rumors of witchcraft and murder, her shady past weighs on her shoulders. And if she is a blessing for Arthur Shelby, she will soon prove to be a curse for those who dare to stand in her and her husband's way. Even Thomas Shelby himself.

She is Arthur’s Angel, but don't get fooled by her doe eyes: for the rest of us, she is the White Devil.

And by extend, you are too.

Why? Because Heaven Lavey… It’s you.

TW: Major character death, explicit sexual content, canonical violence, graphic description of violence, blasphemy, witch trials and burning of innocent women, dependent relationship (if Arthur and Heaven are happy in their relationship, they are obsessed and possessive, which leads to bursts of violence and deifying from Arthur. By no means I am claiming their relationship is healthy, but it is what works for them)

ACT I. SACRILEGE

♢ Ch. 1 || Heaven in Your Eyes

♢ Ch. 2 || Never Did, Never Dared

♢ Ch. 3 || Something Wicked This Way Comes 🔞

♢ Ch. 4 || Dead Bird at Witchin Hour

♢ Ch. 5 || The Hell in His Eyes

♢ Ch. 6 || The One They Should Have Burned

♢ Ch. 7 || Of Matches and Gasoline 🔞

♢ Ch. 8 || Tango on Broken Dreams

ACT II. CARNAGE

♢ Ch. 9 || For Whom the Bells Toll

♢ Ch. 10 || Closer to Heaven or Closer to Hell? 🔞

♢ Ch. 11 || When The Bridges Burn

♢ Ch. 12 || As They Always Did

♢ Ch. 13 || Cross My Heart and Hope to Die

♢ Ch. 14 || Pure As a Lamb 🔞

♢ Ch. 15 || Women Like Me in a Men's World

♢ Ch. 16 || Après Moi le Déluge

♢ Ch. 17 || Our Old Friend Death (c o m i n g . . .)

♢ Ch. 18 || Il Diàvulu Biancu

♢ Ch. 19 || Empire of Lies

♢ Ch. 20 || The Fog of Silent Hills

ACT III.

♢ Ch. 21 ||

♢ Ch. 22 ||

♢ Ch. 23 ||

♢ Ch. 24 ||

♢ Ch. 25 ||

♢ Ch. 26 ||

♢ Ch. 27 ||

♢ Ch. 28 ||

♢ The series can be longer.

Some events from the show are taken and obviously reworked. Yet, except for a few quotes and scenes, everything else is imagined by the author.

Related works - in chronological order-

♢ From Blood We Will Grow

♢ To Bark and Bite

♢ Kaiser Meeting Cyril (requested)

♢ A Bone to Pick With It (requested)

♢ Perfect Lines

♢ Savage Daughter

♢ A Slice of Us (Modern!HYE)

♢ Love Ritual (@zablife's celebration)

♢ The Woods Whisper 1, 2 (Halloween Horror)

♢Little Lamb 1, 2, 3 (Yandere!AU)

Moodboards and other content

♢ Playlist

♢ Moodboard Aesthetic

♢ Moodboard Chapter 6

♢Heaven In your Eyes Act II trailer

♢ Moodboard Chapter 12

♢ Heaven in your Eyes chapter 16 trailer

Looking for more? Check out Heaven's masterlist I and II.

Taglist: @adaydreamaway08 @theshelbyclan @jomarch-wannabe @esposadomd @zablife @woofgocows @anathemasworld @anastasia0082 @kate654 @kxnnxy @babayaga67 @meowtastic @shelbyssins @sarai-ibn-la-ahad @bluevenus19@justrainandcoffee @kishie8 @zablife @alexandra-001 @copinghex@alexizodd @helen06dreamer @kmc1989 @mischievouslittlecreature @peakyswritings @peakyltd @chaosinkest1996 @vanhelsingsbigtoe @cherubswhispers @he6rtshaker @bemyqueenofdarkness @cljordan-imperium @red-riding-wood @lokigirlszendaya @jjovin3221 @06nasyrah13 @randomcreator-09

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zeciex · 1 year ago

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A Vow of Blood Season 1 Masterlist

Warnings: This fic includes noncon, dubcon, manipulation, violence and inc3st. Tags will be added as the fic goes on. This is a dark!fic. 18+ only. Read at your own discretion. Please read the warnings before continuing.

Updates every Friday: A work in progress

Chapter 1: A prophecy foretold Chapter 2: Fireflies and Funerals Chapter 3: A debt made Chapter 4: The Arrival Chapter 5: The girl who leaves, the Woman whom returns Chapter 6: The unholiness of burning Chapter 7: Gossip and Needlepoint Chapter 8: Schemes and Artisans Chapter 9: The Feast Chapter 10: Beware the Blood Red Roses Thorns

Chapter 11: Words of a Scandal Chapter 12: The Whore that Lies Chapter 13: On Your Knees Chapter 14: From the Shadows Chapter 15: White Poppies Chapter 16: The Tourney; The Joust Chapter 17: The Tourney; The Melee Chapter 18: Ruination Chapter 19: Tea & Charity

Chapter 20: Sympathies for Maegor the Cruel Chapter 21: Moon Flower Chapter 22: The Ugly Seat Chapter 23: A Woman's Shame Chapter 24: The Boy With the Stars Chapter 25: The Seafarer Chapter 26: Dragonstone Chapter 27: Betrothal Chapter 28: The Sting of Bitter Betrayal Chapter 29: Little Nightshade

Chapter 30: In That House On Top Of The Rock Chapter 31: The Stranger's Company Chapter 32: The Hunt Chapter 33: Brōzi, riña hen narys Chapter 34: There's no measure 'within reason' for women Chapter 35: Pulling the Strings Chapter 36: Boris Baratheon Chapter 37: The Image of a son Chapter 38: Wine and Company Chapter 39: Once in Ivory, to the sound of bells

Chapter 40: Trapped like a Fox Chapter 41: The illusion of choice Chapter 42: Two sinners can't atone from a lone prayer Chapter 43: The Depravity of Desire Chapter 44: Think of the Stars Chapter 45: Blood in the Water Chapter 46: The Boundaries of a Winged Pig Chapter 47: The Vigil of the Old Gods Chapter 48: The Stag that Rages Chapter 49: The Stag hunts the Stag

Chapter 50: The Performance of Grief Chapter 51: Once in front of the fire, two become one Chapter 52: The Funeral of Boris Baratheon Chapter 53: The Hunger of Man Chapter 54: The Funeral Procession Chapter 55: Keeping Alliances Chapter 56: Souls tied, intertwined by our pride and guilt Chapter 57: Wisps of Smoke Chapter 58: A Missive of Ravens Chapter 59: A Claim of Bastardry

Chapter 60: The Last Supper Chapter 61: The Taste of Silence Chapter 62: Waves Chapter 63: In the Eye of the Father Chapter 64: The End of a Noose Chapter 65: A Fool with a Fool's Honor Chapter 66: The Son of Duty Chapter 67: The Daughter of Insolence Chapter 68: The Tempest of a Woman Chapter 69: Birds in a Cage

Chapter 70: The Beast Beneath the Boards Chapter 71: The Tower of the Hand Chapter 72: Ill Tidings Chapter 73: A Woman's War Chapter 74: Salt and Smoke Chapter 75: A Golden Crown of Sorrow pt. 1 Chapter 76: A Golden Crown of Sorrow pt. 2 Chapter 77: Haunted By The Daylight Chapter 78: A Boy And His Dragon Chapter 79: Vengeance Hungers

Chapter 80: The Bloody Hand of Dread Chapter 81: The Fool That Loved You Chapter 82: The Coward's Heart Chapter 83: The Death of A Son Chapter 84: A Sister's Rage Chapter 85: The Red Dress Chapter 86: A Vow of Fire and Blood Chapter 87: The Sworn Shield or The Boy Chapter 88: Cursed Child Chapter 89: Byka Ābrazȳrys

Chapter 90: The Mother's Prayer Chapter 91: The Favor of the Smallfolk Chapter 92: A Mother's Search Chapter 93: Once in grief, heart of black but forced in green I Chapter 94: Once in grief, heart of black but forced in green II Chapter 95: Once in grief, heart of black but forced in green III Chapter 96: Once in grief, heart of black but forced in green IV Chapter 97: Etched in Flesh Chapter 98: Think of Home

#A Vow of Blood Masterlist

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psuedosugu · 1 month ago

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curse me ★

suguru geto x reader

synopsis: suguru dies and returns a bit different.

notes: will probably make a pt 2 or chapter 2 to this later someday idk

Your shoes clattered against the smooth floor as you ran. Please be okay, oh god, please be okay, you begged to whatever higher being existed. He had to be okay. He had to.

The blood splatters lining the walls of the darkened corridors were not a good sign.

Please be okay, please be okay, pleasepleasepleaseplease—

You found him, lying face up in a puddle of his own blood. You thought you were hallucinating. You wanted to be hallucinating.

You stepped ever closer to his corpse, until your shoes touched the seeping blood. The liquid was sticky under the soles of your feet and Suguru’s face, so full of life just 2 hours ago, was pale, his eyes blank.

2 deep slashes adorned his chest. His body was cold, still, unresponsive, his cursed energy wholly fizzled out.

Suguru Geto was dead.

A shrill scream filled your ears, your head ringing as you collapsed to the floor, grasping at his tattered uniform shirt as if you could make him come back.

Come back, come back, come back, you begged. He couldn’t be dead, you needed him. You needed him and oh god, you couldn’t do this alone.

You weren’t sure how long you were there, but you were there until the screaming turned into violent sobs, until hands pulled your thrashing body away from his corpse and rolled him away, telling you that it was okay, to not cry, and you finally realized those screams had been you all along.

The next months were a long, long blur. Almost instantaneously, things went back to normal. Nevermind that Suguru was dead.

You felt angry most of the time.

You were angry that no one cared, that they were able to just….return to their normal lives as if nothing happened. Satoru and Shoko in particular. He was their friend too, so why did they seem so unaffected? Did he not matter to them?

“You know, staying cooped up in here 24/7 isn’t helping anything.” Shoko said, plopping down onto the edge of your bed as you burrowed yourself deeper into the covers. How had she even gotten into here? You were sure you had locked the door.

“…You really don’t wanna come out?” she asked again, her usual cheeky smile falling from her face. Still no response. She sighed.

“Look,” she started, “Im worried about you. We all are.” you could tell in her voice that she wasn’t exactly used to being soft with people like this. “You’re withdrawing from everyone, you’re always in your room, you’re losing weight….i get that you miss him but-“

No. “Don’t.” “-You can’t do this to yourself, [name].”

Now, you were pissed. What kind of audacity did she even have? “Who are you to tell me what I can or can’t do to myself?” You shot back, sitting up.

“Wh— You think he would’ve wanted this?” She stood up from the bed, looking down at you.

“Go.”

“[name]—“

“Just go.”

“You’re not the only person who lost him, [name].” But god, it felt like you were the only one that cared.

“Please, Shoko, just go.”

She hesitated for a second, but then gave in, heading towards her exit . “Im always here once you’re ready to talk.” And then shut the door.

You shivered, feeling just as cold and empty as the room you were left in.

You had dreams about him frequently. Sometimes they were pleasant, spending time in the park with him, or getting to say goodbye. Sometimes they were horrible, nightmares of having to watch him be murdered, to watch him suffer.

Today was a good night, you supposed. You walked with him down a nature trail, the air around you tranquil. It seemed like with every dream his face got blurrier and blurrier. Soon, would you even be able to tell who he was? “I don’t wanna forget your face.” you blurted out. The dream-Suguru stopped in his tracks, turning to stare at you.

“I don’t want to forget you.” you could hardly see his face through the blur but the air turned heavy and solemn. You wished he would say something. You were scared of what he would say. You didn’t want him to leave, not again.

Don’t go, don’t go, don’t— the air around you was far too thick, you felt like you were suffocating, don’t go, don’t go, don’t leave me again—

You woke up in a cold sweat, looking up at your ceiling. You turned your head to the left and read your alarm clock. 2 am. Your eyes fluttered closed, planning to fall back asleep until you noticed a crackling, splintering sound in your room.

You opened your eyes and looked to the right, jumping up and nearly shrieking. A curse. A curse? But how? The barrier should’ve kept it out.

It was tall, jagged, with marbled skin, similar to the curses that suguru would consume.

“Do you know how curses taste?” He used to ask you.

Now you craned your neck up to fully see the thing in front of you.

“No. Tell me, Suguru,” you used to respond, though he had already told you multiple times, “Tell me what they taste like.”

“…[name].” It cooed.

“They taste like death,” He would respond.

Suguru Geto was not dead. Suguru Geto was a curse.

You slowly stepped towards him as light he omitted dimly lit up the pitch dark room. It was an amalgamation of curses. He was your Suguru. It was horrifying. He was beautiful.

You stepped closer to him, placing a hand where you’d suppose his cheek would be. He shape-shifted into a smaller form, more like the Suguru you were used to, but his skin was marbled and shiny, his black hair long and cascading.

“I missed you,” you whispered to him. “I missed you more,” he whispered back, and you wanted to scream and laugh and cry all at the same time.

“You’re..” you started.

“Different.” he suggested. You nod as you studied him.

“A curse,” you said. “Do you still like me?” he asked, half joking, half not. You snorted.

“I’ll always like you, Sugu.” and you were sure he glowed a bit brighter at your words. His eyes met yours as you pressed your forehead to his. You could feel everything, his emotions flowing out of him like a waterfall.

The two of you were bound together now, and you didn’t want any other fate.

#jjk #jujutsu kaisen #x reader #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jjk x reader #getou suguru #getou suguru x reader #geto jjk #geto suguru x reader

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damn-stark · 1 year ago

Text

Sugar

Geto Suguru x Gojo!fem-reader & Choso x Gojo!fem-reader

Summary- Love is a fickle thing isn’t it? Life isn’t so sweet. People are meant to love, lose, and love again; sorcerers like you more than most. You endure pains that non-sorcerers will never experience a speck of in their lifetimes. So much is expected of you not only because you’re a Gojo; a sorcerer from one of the prestigious sorcerer families, but because you were lucky or unlucky to be born special grade as well. All your life you were taught to be one way and follow a path, but remember that pain you get to experience in order to protect the lives of non-sorcerers? Well, that pain gets to you and deviates you down a dark path with Suguru Geto, a man you love, your hope, and the one who stays. Yet that path is dark and twisty, full of surprises that bring life, and loss most of all. When will enough be enough, and will you be able to find that light in a lifetime of darkness you so crave? Will you change your ways after years of defection and thinking you’re right? Do you believe in second chances after what you’ve done?

Moodboard, fighting outfits concepts

Suguru geto x y/n Gojo moodboard, Satoru Gojo x y/n Gojo moodboard, Kento Nanami x y/n Gojo, Choso x Y/N

Chapter 1 Angelfish

Chapter 2 Just a girl

Chapter 3 The first one

Chapter 4 Live for the hope of it all

Chapter 5 Appeasing

Season 2 (Hidden inventory arc)

Chapter 6 Where you are

Chapter 7 The Ballad of a Jujutsu sorcerer

Chapter 8 The world’s a little blurry

Chapter 9 Hearing damage

Chapter 10 I’ll know, I’ll know

Jjk 0 Movie

Chapter 11 It almost worked

Chapter 12 Fallen Angel

Chapter 13 It’s over isn’t it?

Chapter 14 Lost in the darkness

Season 2 (Shibuya Arc)

Chapter 15 The start of something new

Chapter 16 The last supper

Chapter 17 Kill of the night

Chapter 18 Happy birthday, by the way

Chapter 19 I’m sorry for your loss

Chapter 20 Intergalactic

Itadori Execution Arc

Chapter 21 But then I found you

Chapter 22 What never was

Tengen arc

Chapter 23 You’re an angel, I’m a dog

Chapter 24 By saying something stupid like…

Chapter 25 Blood, dragons, curses and black holes

Sukuna v Satoru

Chapter 26 Sweet Gojo

Chapter 27 The sun will shine on us again

Chapter 28 A song for us

Chapter 29 Birthday surprises

Chapter 30 Two can be as bad as one

Chapter 31 All through the night

Chapter 32 Our last goodbye

Chapter 33 Haven’t I given enough?

Chapter 34 Two birds on a wire…

Chapter 35 …One says c’mon and the other says I’m tired

Chapter 36 Be the One Fallen from Grace, be Death

Chapter 37 Strong heart

Chapter 38 Les

Chapter 39 Heart on fire

Chapter 40 once there was a way to get back home

Chapter 41 Thus with a kiss I die

Chapter 42 IFHY

Final chapter The Last ballad of the fallen

Side stories

Wedding bells (takes place in between chapter 10) takes place in 2008 & 2009

Colors of the wind (takes place in between chapter 10) takes place in 2012

Fun trend not so great (before season 2 starts)

The soul (takes place in ch.17)

Satori info page

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justagalwhowrites · 1 year ago

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Yearling - Ch. 24: Return

You're found in the snow. A continuation of Yearling ch. 1-23 found on Tumblr here.

Pairing: Joel Miller x Female Reader

Warnings: Allusion to past SA, result of canon-typical violence. No use of Y/N. Minors DNI 18+ Only

Length: 5.4k

AO3 | Chapter One | Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

“Joel!”

He was so singularly focused on getting to the stable he didn’t even see Maria trekking through the snow toward him. He barely heard her.

“Joel!”

He didn’t stop or go to meet her. He just went inside. Ares was gone, he’d been here last night, you’d taken him it had to have been you.

He cursed himself for not staying outside your door. He should have known that you would leave now, that the pain he’d caused you wouldn’t have stopped you. He should have fucking stayed, should have fucking held onto you even as you tried to shove him away.

“Joel,” Maria ran into the stable, closing the snow outside.

“Not the time, Maria,” he said, going to get a saddle from the tack room.

She ignored him and she stalked over to him, thrusting the bundle she was carrying into his arms. He frowned. It took him a second to realize it was the coat you’d claimed as your own, the one that had been his once. The knife that felt like had been in his stomach since you pushed him away twisted.

“I don’t know what the fuck happened,” she said. “But she’s gone and…”

“When did you see her?” He looked up from the coat, ignoring the pinch at the back of his throat. “Did she say where she was goin’?”

“A few hours ago,” she shook her head. “I should have come to find you sooner but… She seemed so upset, I didn’t think sending you out after her right away was the best thing.”

“Did she say where she was goin’?” He asked again, even though he knew the answer. He knew.

“Going after the raiders,” she said. “I don’t know that she’ll find them but…”

“I’ll find her,” Joel cut her off. “I’m bringing her back, not comin’ back without her.”

Joel took Sergeant and started off. You’d left a few hours ahead of him but the tracks you made on Ares were deep enough that they were still visible even through the fresh snowfall, a steady groove in the powder that covered the earth.

It was miserable, the wind biting and harsh, and Joel found himself worried about you. You’d left the coat. He hoped you’d taken another one, that you were warm at least. He wanted to be able to push his horse faster but the snow was too deep. You were a better rider than him, you and Ares had a unique bond after the extra work he’d required to fully train him. You knew how far you could push him better than Joel did any of the horses. You’d be able to ride harder and faster for longer than he could.

But when the storm eased in the early hours of the morning after the sun rose, Joel found himself missing it. The howl of the wind and the pressure of the air had been a distraction. Something to focus on besides you, besides the way you looked at him, besides what you must think of him now. Something besides the danger you were in that he hadn’t been there to protect you from.

Joel kept riding through the day, even though he could feel his horse growing exhausted. He almost felt guilty for not caring. If he couldn’t get to you in time, couldn’t bring you home, what did it matter?

But, hours after it grew dark, he knew he would need to stop soon. He’d been riding for too long, if he wasn’t careful Sergeant would just collapse under the strain and then he’d never find you.

He was just considering finding a place to rest for a few hours when he saw it, an unusual shape breaking up the moonlight reflecting off the fallen snow. He frowned and then the darkest part of the shape moved, a long neck and large head lifting from near the ground.

“Fuck,” Joel jumped off his horse and almost tripped, trying to move through the snow faster than was really safe. He fell to his knees next to you and Ares huffed and nudged Joel’s shoulder. You were covered in blood, your skin so much lighter than he’d ever seen it, your body terrifyingly still. But there was just the lightest fog in front of your lips, the only sign he had that you were still breathing.

“It’s OK Baby,” he said softly, swallowing past the lump in his throat. “I’ve got you, you’re OK. Gonna get you out of here, get you all warmed up, it’s OK.”

He lifted you as delicately into his body, a small, pained noise slipping from you as he did. Your eyes stayed closed. He just held you against him for a moment, clutching you close, trying to figure out what to do.

It didn’t seem like he could make it to Jackson like this with you. You were too fragile, you’d at the very least need to get warmed up first, something to stabilize you. But if all this blood was yours, you needed a doctor. Joel couldn’t help you through something this bad on his own, you needed someone who knew what they were doing.

Ares shifted in the snow, moving his large body so his neck was wrapped around your back and his head went over Joel’s shoulder. He was scared, too.

“OK Sweetheart,” Joel whispered. “Gonna get you somewhere warm, then we’ll figure it out. We’ll figure it out.”

He strapped your pack to Sergeant and set you as delicately as he could on Ares before urging the animal to his feet. Your horse moved gingerly, somehow aware that you were precious cargo and that you needed his protection. Joel patted his neck and Ares huffed at him.

“I care about her, too,” he said. “We’ll take care of her.”

Joel tied Sergeant’s reins to Ares’ saddle horn and then mounted up behind you, pulling you back against him. He tucked the front of his coat around you as far as he could reach, the back of your coat cold and wet, before heading off in the direction Joel thought the nearby town was in.

He was relieved when he was right, stopping at the first house he saw on the outskirts of town that had a chimney. He tied the horses to the front porch and carried your limp body inside, thankful for the little groan you made when he moved you. Pain meant you were alive. He’d take that.

The house he was in had clearly been raided at some point, furniture overturned, cabinet doors open and hanging off the hinges. But that made them easier to break off and he piled up what he could find quickly in the fireplace before checking to make sure the flue was open. The fire caught quickly and Joel moved the horses into the garage before coming back to check on you.

With some light and warmth, he was able to figure things out. You’d been stabbed in the shoulder, the wound vicious and jagged. Your clothes were wet with snow and blood and your body was so limp and lifeless that Joel kept checking your pulse or placing his palm on your chest to feel it rise and fall with your breaths.

He pulled blankets and sleeping bags out of the packs, making sure they were dry before setting them near the fire to warm up. He held his hands near the flames for a moment and looked down at you with a sigh.

“M’sorry about this,” he said, unzipping your coat, a sickening tightness in his stomach. “But I can’t get you warm in wet clothes, Baby, I gotta take all this off…”

He tried to look at you as little as he could as he undressed you. In a way, it was almost helpful that you were bloody and limp. It made it easy to see your skin and not think about how much he wanted you. Even if you weren’t hurt, it would have been wrong to look at you that way, wrong because you didn’t want it.

You’re just like them.

Once you were undressed, he wrapped you in the blankets and set you near the fire before he found an old pot in the kitchen. He went outside and filled it with snow before bringing it inside and setting it over the fire, melting it and warming the water. He cleaned you as best he could and bandaged your shoulder before tending to the horses and hoping that you’d feel warm when he came back inside. But you were still cold, your breaths still shallow, your limbs still limp, your head still lolling lifelessly to the side.

“No, no, come on, Baby,” his hands ranged over you, trying to see if there was something that he missed. “You can’t die on me out here, not like this, come on…”

He stripped off his coat and shirt and cast them aside before lying beside you, turning you so your front was pressed against his, your skin cold and clammy on his. He pulled a blanket over the two of you and held you close and hoped that you’d forgive him for this, too. Christ, he needed you to forgive him for all of it.

He held you until morning and the sun was high and the fire was low, your breath warm and wet and steady against his chest. You were warmer now, your body curving into his instead of listless and empty. But you weren’t waking up.

“Hey,” he said quietly, pulling a hand out from below the blankets to smooth your hair back. “C’mon, Baby. Time to wake up. Need to get you back to Jackson. Come on now.”

You didn’t move, your eyelids didn’t even flutter.

“OK,” he said, more to himself than to you after trying to rouse you for a few minutes. “Let’s see if we can’t get some water in you, see if that helps.”

Joel built the fire back up and went outside for more snow, checking on the horses again while it melted over the flames. He dressed you in his shirt and sat you up, delicately tipping your head back and trickling the water into your mouth. You instinctively swallowed it, at least. A good sign. Or so he thought, anyway. He didn’t really know.

He ate what he felt like he could keep down, stomach in too tight of a knot for it to be much at all. He wished he knew what the fuck to do. Was it safe to move you yet? Was it better to stay here with you until your strength was up or better to bring you to Jackson himself and get you to the doctor?

It didn’t help, knowing that you wouldn’t want him with you if you were conscious. It made him question everything. Just a few days ago, back when you trusted him, he could have done this. He would have known that you’d understand, that you’d feel some sense of comfort because he was there for this at all.

Now, it seemed like everything he did hurt you. You’d left Jackson alone because of him, had broken down because of him. He was trying to help you, protect you, but knew you wouldn’t want his hands on you, wouldn’t trust him to make these choices for you.

He just didn’t have another option.

“Tomorrow,” he said as he looked out the window. It was already after noon. Even if you were healthy and able to ride at your normal pace, there was no way you’d be back to town before night fell and there wasn’t much between here and there. There was no guarantee he’d find a place to hole up for the night. “Ride back tomorrow.”

You were still pale and washed out. He gave you more water and arranged you in front of the fire again, pained little groans coming from you as he did.

“I’m sorry, Sweetheart,” he said quietly, curling around you again. You unconsciously pressed yourself against him, your face in his chest, and breathed deep. “Sorry I keep… I just keep hurtin’ you and I’m not trying to I just… I never wanted to hurt you. Never.”

He just held you and let his mind drift. He tried not think about what would happen if he’d chosen wrong. How he’d find a way to live with that failure, too. Instead, he thought of you whole and happy and safe back in Jackson. Playing guitar on his front porch, bouncing William on your leg in the mess hall, cracking a joke with his brother on patrol, teaching Ellie about riding at the stables. He wondered if he could crawl inside a memory like that if he tried hard enough. He’d shoved memories of Sarah away so quickly and fully as soon as she was gone, he hadn’t even tried then. He knew better now.

Even if he couldn’t really live inside a moment like that, he wondered if he could surround himself in it enough that everything else fell away. In the end, did it really matter? If he drove himself mad with longing but he was so mad that he had what he wanted, did it make a difference?

He wasn’t sure.

“Joel.”

Your voice was so soft that, for a moment, he thought he imagined it. But your hand moved to his side, fingers sinking into his skin.

“Joel…”

He heard you that time. He pulled back from you enough to see your face. Your eyes were still closed, your face drawn into a tight grimace. But you still seemed out of it.

“You’re OK,” he said gently, brushing your hair back. But he realized, when his hand touched your forehead, that you were warm. More than warm, you were hot to the touch. He hadn’t noticed it in your body, writing off the heat as a result of the two of you wrapped up together near a fire. But your head hadn’t been under blankets or against him and you were burning up. “Fuck, hang on Baby…”

“Hurts,” you mumbled, eyes still closed but you tried weakly to pull yourself back against him.

“What hurts?” He asked, trying to keep his voice calm. What if he’d missed something? What if you were dying here, in his arms, because he’d failed? What if he’d have to hold your body, too? “Can you tell me what hurts?”

You just groaned a little and tried to burrow closer to him.

“Hey,” he delicately pulled you back again, the pained look on your face sharper. “Need you to tell me what hurts, OK?” Your frown deepened. He sighed and brushed his thumb over your shoulder, making you whimper. “That what hurts?”

You just nodded and he pulled the arm that you’d been using as a pillow out from below you earning him another little groan as he nudged you delicately onto your back. He carefully unwound the bandage on your shoulder until the wound was exposed and winced at the sight of it. The skin around it was angry and inflamed, the injury itself swollen and oozing.

“Fuck,” he swore, glancing up at the window. It was dark. Moving you like this, in a place he didn’t know when he couldn’t see shit, wasn’t safe. “Alright… In the morning. Just… just keep hanging in there, we’re headin’ back in the morning…”

“Don’t leave me,” you opened your eyes, squinting against the firelight, and reached the hand from your uninjured side out for him. He took it, squeezed it. “Please…”

“Not…” his voice cracked a little. “Not leaving you. Never leaving you.”

You nodded ever so slightly and went limp again, leaving him clutching your wrist like a talisman, counting the rhythm of your pulse. It was steady.

Joel didn’t sleep. He kept almost obsessive watch over you, over the rise and fall of your chest, over the temperature of your skin, over the pained expressions that came and went from your features. You didn’t open your eyes again.

When he couldn’t take it anymore, he roused the horses and got packed to go, the sun not yet rising on the edge of the sky. He counted himself lucky that you were such a horsewoman that you instinctively latched onto a saddle horn when you were put on a horse, even when you were unconscious. He got on Ares behind you and you gave a pained moan when he tugged you gently back against his body, but you turned your head to bury your face in his neck all the same.

“Just gotta make it to Jackson,” he said, more for himself than for you. “That’s all. Just make it to Jackson, Baby, please make it to Jackson…”

He pushed the horses. He could hear you in his head, lecturing him about it, about how he wasn’t listening to what they were telling him but he was having a hard time caring. He could see the gates of Jackson when Ares’ legs gave out, collapsing to the earth. Joel clutched onto you as the two of you fell into the snow, the horse’s heavy breaths almost deafening against the eerie silence of the snow. It took Joel a moment to even hear that your breaths were coming sharp and harsh, your body tense, face drawn.

“Shit,” Joel swore. “Come on, Baby, we’re almost back, almost made it, you’re so close, you’re gonna be OK…”

He was trying to pull you from the snow and get you up to carry you inside, his heart beating so hard he could feel it against his ribs, when a hand appeared on his back.

“Joel,” Tommy said, his brother’s eyes ranging over him as he pulled him back from you. “It’s OK. We’ve got her, you got her here, it’s OK. It’s gonna be OK.”

***

Three weeks later

“I really don’t know that I’m ready for this,” Olivia frowned as you guided one of the fillies, Splendor, into the pen. She tossed her head and raised her feet high, impatient and eager.

“Can’t just be me who knows how to break horses,” you said. “Besides, nothing too dangerous yet, just pressure and release exercises. It’s going to be easier with her than it was with the ferals, she’s been around people her whole life. Just need to get her comfortable with touch, pressure…”

“Right,” Olivia nodded. “I remember the steps, I think.”

“Good,” you said. “Can’t just assume I’m always gonna be here, you’ve gotta know this, too.”

You stepped back and watched Olivia start to work with Splendor, catching sight of Ellie in the doorway to the stable. You gave her a smile but she just glared at you.

You frowned for a moment.

“You alright for now?” You asked Olivia. She just nodded, not taking her eyes off the horse. “Holler if you need, I’ll be right back…”

You shoved your hands in the pockets of your new coat - one that actually fit you - and made your way over to Ellie, who was still glaring at you.

“What’s up, Kid?” You asked.

“You’re leaving,” she said. She didn’t say it like a question.

She was right.

You sighed.

“Ellie…”

“I can’t believe…” She shook her head. “You know what? Fuck you.”

She stomped off, sketch pad tucked under her arm.

“Ellie!” You called after her. She ignored you. You looked back into the pen for a moment, Olivia looking like she had things with Splendor under control just fine, before jogging to catch up with her. “Ellie…”

“Fuck you,” she said again, not stopping or slowing down.

“Kid,” you said, trying to keep your voice gentle. “Things are…”

She stopped in Joel’s yard, turning to face you, her eyes narrowed.

“If we really don’t mean anything to you, just say that,” she snapped.

“No,” you shook your head. “No, Ellie, of course you mean something to me, you mean…”

“Got a fucking funny way of showing it!” She was almost yelling now. “Were you even gonna tell me? Or were you just going to take off in the middle of the night again and act like we wouldn’t fucking notice?”

That stung. You hadn’t meant to make Ellie feel abandoned when you’d left before, when you’d gone to look for… You just hadn’t been able to think about anything else enough to do something like stop and tell her. Things had been tense between the two of you since you got home. You’d thought it had just been because things had fractured between you and Joel but it seemed like there was more to it than that.

“Of course I was going to tell you,” you said gently. “You mean the world to me and…”

“Yeah,” she scoffed. “Apparently not enough for you to stay.”

You sighed.

“That doesn’t have anything to do with it…”

“The fuck it doesn’t!” She snapped. “What, you think I have just… a ton of friends or something? You think I have shit like parents and family? Because I don’t. Until Joel, everyone I ever cared about either left me or died and now you’re doing it to and just fuck you, Bambi.”

“I’m sorry,” you said quietly. You wanted to reach for her but you were worried that would do more harm than good. “I really am and it doesn’t have anything to do with you and…”

“You know, I never had a mom,” she cut you off, shaking her head, not looking directly at you. “Even when I was really little, like a baby and shit. I went straight to the fucking orphanage. And maybe it’s dumb since I’m an adult now but I thought…”

“Baby Girl,” Joel’s voice appeared behind you, making you jump, the fear of it almost drowning out the ache in you as you thought about Ellie growing up alone. “Why don’t you go inside?”

“She’s leaving, Joel,” she snapped. “Just gonna fucking leave us here like we’re nothing and…”

“Inside,” he said again, voice gentle.

“Joel.”

“Please, Kiddo,” he said.

She glared at you again before stomping off to the house, slamming the screen door behind her. You turned slowly to face Joel, your heart pounding as you did.

He looked the same. Almost the same. His eyes were different, tinged with sadness and regret, and he looked exhausted. Like he hadn’t slept well in a long time.

You hadn’t seen him since you’d woken up at the clinic weeks earlier.

It was disorienting. You didn’t remember how you’d gotten there, what had happened after you set down Lacy. All you knew is that you hadn’t found your daughter and that your whole reality seemed to contract to a fine, painful point after that.

“There you are,” Dr. Palmer smiled at you as you came to. “Welcome back to the land of the living! You were out for about two days after you got back, came down with a nasty infection after a stab wound to the shoulder…”

“How…” your throat was oddly scratchy.

“Joel got you back,” she said kindly. “He’s been waiting for you to wake up…”

Your heart picked up. Joel. Your Joel. The one who told you he was a raider once, that he was just like the men who had hurt you, who had taken you from your child, who said they’d killed her. Joel, the person you’d come to trust more than anyone else, the man you loved more than anything and he was like them.

“Honey?” The doctor said. You jumped a little and looked at her. “Want to see him? He’s been awful worried about you.”

You thought for a moment. Did you want to see him? You weren’t sure you could handle it, looking at him and thinking of those men, their hands on you, the way they hurt you.

But could you not see him? He was the only one here with answers.

“Can I?” You asked, fingers tightening in your blankets.

“Course,” she smiled. “He’s been here since he brought you back, he just came and got me when it looked like you were waking up. He insisted on waiting out there. I’ll get him…”

You tried to keep yourself from panicking, gathering the blankets around yourself as she brought in Joel.

He looked tired then, too. His hands were in his pockets and he clothes were dirty and he was watching you, cautiously, as the doctor went over something that you couldn’t actually hear.

“I’ll leave you to it,” she smiled again and closed the door behind her.

You instinctively shrank back from Joel and a pained look flitted across his face before he tightened his jaw.

“I’m stayin’ over here,” he said, indicating the other half of the room. “Don’t… don’t be afraid of me. Please. I’m not gonna touch you, OK?”

You watched him for a moment, not sure if you trusted him.

But he was Joel.

“OK.”

He lowered himself slowly onto the bed across from you, his eyes never leaving yours as he moved. The two of you were quiet for a moment, so quiet you wondered if he could hear how much your heart was pounding.

“Glad to see that you’re awake,” he said eventually. “Been worried…”

“You brought me back,” you said more than asked.

He answered anyway.

“I did.”

“Shouldn’t have done that.”

He watched you for a second.

“You would have died,” he said quietly.

You squared your jaw.

“Good,” you said. “Better that way.”

“No,” he shook his head. “No, it’s not.”

“Yes, it is.”

“Bambi…”

“You were right,” your voice was thick. “You were right, she’s gone, she…”

“Did you find her?” He asked softly. You just shook your head. You could feel the tears on your cheeks but couldn’t make yourself wipe them away. “Then I wasn’t right. Not yet. And I’m sorry I said it, I was just… I was so scared of losing you. I was so afraid and I just… I’m not right yet. So tell me about her.”

“What?” You managed.

“Your daughter,” he said. His eyes looked wet, too. “Tell me about her.”

You watched him for a moment. Even after everything Joel had told you, everything you knew he was, all you could think about was every time you’d wanted to tell him about her. When he’d told you about Sarah, when you were teaching Ellie how to ride, when you held William for the first time. Everything you’d forced deep into yourself for fear of it shattering you if you even thought it let alone spoke it out loud.

“Her name is Savannah,” you said quietly. “But I call her Savvy. I didn’t pick her full name, her birth mom did. She gave her to me when she was nine months old. She would be 14 now but she’ll be 15 on July 20…”

Once you started talking about her, you couldn’t stop, the words falling from you before you could even think about it. You told him how she took to the life the two of you led like a fish to water, she was such a natural at trapping and riding. You told him how she liked to read to her horse, how her hair curled in a different direction at her temples, how your dogs liked her better than you.

You only stopped once you were too tired to go on, body and mind too fragile to keep delving into this dangerous ground. Joel’s hands were clenched tightly on his lap but his eyes were sad and gentle.

“Sounds like she’s smart,” he said after you were quiet for a moment. “Skilled. She could be out there. She could. You gotta keep going, Bambi. You can’t give up. I know… I know what it feels like but you can’t.”

You looked away from him, a hollow ache in your chest. Part of you wanted so badly to just collapse against him, to feel his arms go around you and hold you together.

But the rest of you was all but screaming at you to run. He was like them, you couldn’t trust him, he’d lied to you, made you trust him, made you love him.

“Why did you do it?” You asked, looking back at him. He frowned, confused. You kept going. “Why did you lie to me? Make me think I could trust you? Make me fall for you? Was that… was that part of it for you? Did you like that you could make me feel something for you now when I wouldn’t have before? Or was it just so you could fuck me and make me ask for it instead of taking it?”

“No,” he said softly. He looked pained, his eyes wet. “No, it was never that, I… I ain’t proud of what I did then. I did it to keep me n’Tommy alive but that’s not an excuse. But I never - never - touched a woman who didn’t want me to. Even then. I’d never do that. I… I wasn’t tryin’ to lie to you, Sweetheart, you have to know that. Please, Baby. Please. Trust me.”

It was taking everything you had in you to not run from him, not try to force him to leave.

“I don’t know that I can.”

You hadn’t seen him since that day. The day you went home from the clinic, you gathered up everything Joel had ever given you - every shirt, the carving, the guitar, the violin - and left it on his porch. The instruments were back on your porch only a few hours later. It didn’t matter. It’s not like you were going to play anything. You spent the next week hardly moving from your bed, the pain of losing your daughter heavy and sharp inside you.

You’d spent so much time avoiding him, not wanting to try to survive looking at him, not when your mind had traded the faces of the men who wouldn’t touch you with Mitchum with Joel’s in your sleep. Men who thought they were better somehow because they didn’t partake, they just watched you beg and plead and left you to die there.

“She right?” Joel asked softly. He looked like he was in pain. It seemed like the only times you saw him anymore he was in pain. “You leaving?”

“I can’t stay here,” you said. “I can’t stay where you are, it’s…”

“I’ll go,” he said quickly. “I’ll be the one to leave, please don’t go, please. It’s not safe out there and it’s… it’s my fault, I’ll go. Just give me a few days and…”

“Not going to let you leave your daughter, Joel,” you said quietly. “Your whole family is here, you can’t go. I’ll go.”

“No,” he said, voice firm now. “You’ll get yourself killed out there…”

“Not like I’ve got much to live for.”

“Find somethin’,” he cut you off. “You’ve got Ellie…”

“She needs you a whole lot more than she needs me,” you replied.

“Do it for Savvy,” he ignored you.

“Joel…”

“We can search for her,” he kept going. But he had your full attention now. “Been talkin’ to Maria… I know you don’t want anything to do with me right now but I’ll keep you safe, help you look. They can let us go for a week or two, once it gets more into spring and we know the snow is done. We can take whatever supplies we need, we can search. Really search. Please. Stay, stay for her. I’ll keep away from you until then, won’t even have to look at me, promise you won’t. Just… just please. Please don’t go. Please.”

You watched him for a moment. You’d never really had a chance to search for Savvy, not when you didn’t have raiders on your tail. You weren’t sure if you believed that she was alive. But you couldn’t bring yourself to consider the alternative, either.

“You’ll help me look for her?” You asked.

“Yes,” he said quickly, nodding. “We’ll look. Please. Stay for her.”

Your stomach knotted and your chest got tight just being near him. How were you supposed to survive a search with him?

But you had to try. For Savvy, you’d try anything.

“OK,” you said. “I’ll stay.”

Next Chapter

A/N: Yup, that's right. Joel and Bambi are going to go looking for Savvy.

GUESS WE'LL JUST HAVE TO SEE HOW THAT GOES!

Thank you so much for reading, everyone!! It means so much to me that you're here. I know this is a tough arc but I think it's a necessary one for these characters and I think a lot is going to come from it.

Thank you thank you thank you! Love you all!

Taglist: @ashleymsnodgrass@planet-marz1@kalea-bane @juneswonderlust@ilovepedro@h-annahayy@starstruckmusiciansartghost@beccerjune@mumma-moonchild@netonetoneto@mellymbee@purplelye@n7cje@flugazi@evyiione@randomhoex@aliengirl99@orcasoul@reds-ramblings@pedropascalsbbg@fupoola @tinypotatothing @knopes-waffles @lilmizmoz @ayamenimthiriel@jenispunk@panda-pascal@sarap-77@flugazi@your-slutty-gf@daniegraceg@partyofone3413@cumberpegg@noisynightmarepoetry.@fifia-writes@grumpygrumperton @srmacaroni @txlady37 @bigboiseason123

#fanfic #joel miller x female reader #yearling #joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #joel miller x oc

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penvisions · 2 months ago

Text

return the favor {chapter 24}

Pairing: Post-Outbreak! Joel Miller X Smuggler! Reader

Summary: The aftemath of Silverlake has Ellie contemplating the direction of where she wants to go, what she wants to do with her life. All you and Joel can do if offer your experiences and help her navigate the decision.

Word Count: 4.9k

Warnings: canon typical violence, canon typical language, cursing, insult, allusions to non con sexual advances, blood, take of injuries, talk of trauma, allusions to cannibalism, end of the world politics, end of the world rhetoric, allusions to pedophilia and grooming (bc of david), please let me know if i missed any!

A/N: this fic is coming to a close! i want to say there will be two more chapters and an epilogue. one more of the plain plot from the show and then a little bit beyond that, i just wanted to thank everyone who has been so kind and patient with me regarding updates, life's been a lot lately with so many different moving parts. but things are calming down and i am so grateful for everything ♡

ao3 link || series masterlist || main masterlist || ko-fi

It’s fucking cold.

The trek to safety is fucking long.

Emotions are running fucking haywire.

When they aren’t numb completely. Ellie has officially shut down, none the wiser of the world and what your little trio is facing. Her young mind rapidly working to process what exactly had happened, and while you could only infer based on your own interactions from the man, it wasn’t good. The only consolation is that when you had cradled her face in your hands, eyes searching her own for the answer on the top of your tongue.

‘The wind picks up, sending flurries of powdery snow into the air before it can settle and stick to the ground. Joel is holding his shoulder tight, rifle slung over the other, head on as swivel as you land on your knees in front of the distraught girl. She’s covered in blood, her nose broken, her hair half out of the band holding it back. Her breathing is still harsh, stuttering, her chest rising and falling as she tries to catch it.

Her hands are shaking as she reaches up to hold to yours, her fingers clutching tightly around yours where she manages to get a grip.

”Ellie, please. Tell me, baby, did he-?”

“N-no, he- he tried but…” Her eyes don’t leave yours, not even when you feel Joel move closer and cups your shoulder. A silent plea, a connection, an understanding that this was vital, this would determine what you do next.

“I’m so sorry, baby, it’s….it’s not okay, but it will be, I promise you.” She surged forward, the force of it knocking Joel’s oversized jacket from where it had been placed over her shoulders. She clings to you, small hiccups turning into little whimpers as you feel her bottom lip tremble against your neck. You try your best to hold all of her, her frame nearly as tall as your own. You murmur assurances, trying your best to blink back tears of your own. From the depravity of the situation, the frustration, the anger, the sheer desperation you had felt and only imagined what she had.’

“Joel…” You can’t help the feeling of trepidation that fills your chest, makes your breathing a touch too fast, gray edging at the corners of your eyes. He either can’t hear you or you didn’t speak aloud in the first place, but his broad shoulders continue to move in a steady rhythm of his steps as he leads the way through the snow that’s built up far too much for comfort. The storm picking up from a gentle dusting of snow to whipping, howling winds that pelt down hail and heavy drifts of snow. Ellie is between you both, her small frame huddled in on itself, she was beginning to stagger as well. “Joel, we have to stop.”

“I’m lookin’, but I don’t….I don’t see anywhere safe enough for us.” He turns a bit, to let you know he’s heard you. His broad shoulders the only thing you can see just up ahead. Everything else is a blur of white. Ellie barely visible in between you both, her body covered in layers, Joel’s jacket still over her small shoulders. She’s been…somewhere else. Mind still reeling, still in shock despite the hours that have passed since leaving that wretched town behind.

“Joel, please, I can’t- I can’t walk any further. We all need tending to. Actual tending to, someplace to lay down.”

“I know, darlin’, I’m tryin’.” He doesn’t sound upset or exasperated; he’s agreeing. He’s nearly pleading with you with his deep brown eyes when he looks at you over his shoulder. He wants you to see that he’s doing his best. He knows you know, but he wants you to see, that he’s been changed in the little time you were apart. He hadn’t…he had wanted for you to stay safe. Away from him seemed the best bet for that, he mulls over in his mind. He had been mistaken. He needed you, he needed Ellie. He needed the support he had found with you both and cultivated over your travels. He…wasn’t weaker without you but he wasn’t himself.

That first night, he guided you both through the snow-covered landscape, through the whipping winds and the biting cold. Until his legs ached and his lungs burned, body exhausted now that his adrenaline had waned away to nothing. Leaving him spent.

It was nearly a week before Ellie realized that the direction you chose to go was in the general direction of back up north toward Jackson. That it was decidedly not further into the desolate wasteland of the open country. She’s recognizing things or beginning to be aware enough to compare the things around her to the things she’s seen so far.

The first thing you do when finding safety that night was tend to everyone. Clean them of the blood that stained more than just their skin. More than just your skin.

“Joel…this, this looks good, all things considering.” You sigh in relief, the way he curls in on himself in a he stands at attention at one end of small clearing. He had guided you deep into the woods, hoping for coverage, hoping for the distance to be enough even if it felt like thousands of miles never would be. You had urged him to sit down with his back to a tree, peeling away the flannel from his skin to peer at the cut you had landed on him beneath. It was scabbed over, a touch too deep for your liking. You could see evidence of irritation of inflammation and where it reopened every so often with a pull to his shoulder.

“My stomach, Ellie did her best but-“

“She told me.” You whispered, fingers trailing down his front and feeling the muscles of his chest and stomach jump at the featherlight pressure. The heat and weight of his gaze was palpable as you unbuttoned a couple of the rungs at the bottom, lifting it up enough to see the puckered skin and haphazard stitching. You could see the thread, soaked with his blood and dried up now. It was puffy, a little swollen but most likely from exertion and friction, not from anything serious.

“She did a good job with what she had. But…honestly, I’d like to redo the stitches with wire. Just to be safe.” Eyes searching his own, you look up at him from where your leaned over low. His brown eyes dark as the only light that really shines down from the stars is faint. The flashlight you had aimed at him not reaching past his chest where it laid on the ground.

“Tomorrow.” He whispers, voice soft. His hands move from his sides to hold yours, his shirt falling back into place. He holds them gently, giving you the space to pull away should you want to, feel the need to…

“I’m okay.” You whisper, face softening as you see the silent question in his eyes. His gaze drops from your face and rakes down your body, the blood still staining your clothing and the rips in your jeans. It had been too much, to see you both covered in blood and feral. Survival instincts flared and on high alert, driving you through the moments he had finally caught up and found you. But he had been too late. Too slow. Again.

“Hey, I’m okay.” You repeat a in a firmer tone, even as his fingers twitched around yours.

"Your beautiful hair." He brings a hand up to skim it down the uneven waves. It's completely frizzed out and lackluster from the elements, from stress, from the jarring cut. He's trying to swallow down the lump in his throat, you can see it bob as he does so, his words going with it.

"It'll grow back, it's just hair." Your smile is wan, your own feelings on it too much to delve into.

“Need you to be okay, need you both to be okay.” Is his ragged exhale as you lean in and press your forehead to his. Cold skin to cold skin, sharing warmth in the late hour. You’re both too wound up to sleep, but you sit in a comfortable silence until the first light graces a new day.

“Bean?”

“Yes, lil gremlin?”

“Can…can I-“ Her eyes dart to Joel, the way his hands are busy stoking the small fire. Trying to revive it in the early hours of the morning. It was quiet, even if no one had been able to sleep for much longer than a few hours. There was evidence of Joel having gone out on a patrol around the building, a dilapidated visitor center for a state park somewhere in Colorado. Mountains loomed to the west, nothing to the north, white blinding in every direction even as it seemed to begin to wane. A storm finally calming.

A place of shelter finally found the night before, two weeks since all three of you had been reunited.

She was still a little nervous using her voice. The only regular instances of hearing it was in the small cries she let out in the middle of the night, when sleep claimed her and memories reared their ugly heads.

“What is it?”

“I don’t, um…” She stutters, eyes downcast as she looks at her worn shoes. It was time to search for new ones, something you hoped you could replicate for her. The favored red chucks she had from the first moment you met her a part of her and probably a comfort at this point were holding on but barely. Her voice lowers, something in her tone spikes your anxiety and you’re standing quickly. The movement catches Joel’s attention and he does too, by the fireplace. Eyes sharp and focused he could only watch as Ellie regarded her shoes, unwilling to look up or further explain.

Sighing, she finally glanced up at you. Her eyes moved to Joel, darting away as he watched on. Worry beginning to crease his brow and pull the corners of his mouth down.

“Do you have any…t-tampons?”

Joel’s turning around back to the fire as quickly as he had turned toward you both. You try to hide a chuckle at that, he really was such a man sometimes. Would kill and maim for you both, but the idea of a tampon shut him off from conversation completely. You pick up your pack from where they’re stored by the back door, ready for a hasty retreat. The memories of the last time you had been huddled up somewhere to get a way from the cold in the back of your minds. She follows behind as you go into the office, never wanting to be too far from you if you were in the same space.

But as you go to begin digging around inside, Ellie reached a steady hand out and laces her fingers through yours. Silently, you allow her to drag you to the bed. Reminiscent of that first night at Bill and Frank’s, she curls up into your side and you throw an arm around her cautiously. Slow movements allowing her time to voice if she doesn’t want something or if a line will be crossed.

“Can you tell me a little bit more about what Marlene’s plan?” Before your lips were parting, the teenager spurred on, voice a little small but very much firm in words. “I know you were mainly a smuggler and stuff, but you said you traded with her. Helped patch her people up sometimes.”

“Ellie…” It was late, the sun having set, and the night sky covered by thick coverage that promised another harsh snow. But with the estimated time of year, the length of the time you all had been enduring it, spring was sure to come soon. Hopefully by the time you had managed to travel to the next destination…which it seemed like Ellie was determined to figure out now with you. You both knew Joel would go along with whatever was decided, though you reserved the thought of what he would have to say should Ellie still want to go forward with finding Marlene and helping her out. It’s what started this whole journey after all…it’s what gave someone who was far too young with far too little a purpose.

Who were you and Joel to take that away from her? Regardless of your concerns about the efficacy and morality of what was at stake?

“Please, I…I need to know so I can make a decision.” She’s conflicted, the initial purpose of the journey lost in the wake of everything that’s occurred, everything that sees seen and been through. Marlene, the Fireflies, her former life; all of it a distant memory.

“We don’t have to make any decisions right now, we can just rest. It’s okay.” Soothing her as best you could, you rub a gentle hand over her back, the tension in her small body winding her muscles tight even as she breaths deeply and evenly.

“It’s…it’s heavy, the weight of her in the back of my mind. I need to decide if we move toward her or…. back home.”

“To Jackson?”

“To Jackson.” Her nose prods at your ribs where her head is tucked into your middle. “We can have a life there, all of us. I- I want that.”

“I’ll do everything in my power to make that happen, I promise you.” Shuffling down a little further, you press your nose into her hair, giving her everything you possibly could. You always would, she deserves it. She deserved every god damn thing she wants, no matter how trivial or silly.

“I’m not afraid of him, I hope he doesn’t think that.” She confesses, her voice taking on a different edge, an exhaustion that you knew all to well. You hadn’t thought so, neither had he. Her mind almost working against her with his presence, a natural response to not only what you had seen, but what you had inferred happened as she had been chased until the moment she had successfully fled.

“No, honey, he does not. He just wants you to feel comfortable, so he’s letting you decide how to interact with him.”

“He’s a good man,” She mumbles, voice thick as sleep takes a hold of her. You smile into the crown of her head, heart skipping as you recall Joel’s lopsided grin, his dimpled cheek quirked up and his wrinkles deepening with the action.

“He is.” Her hand tangles with yours, fingers slack the second they do and you hold on tight enough for the both of you.

Hours later, you emerge from the room. It had been an office, but the cot in there with the collection of blankets and supplies told you it had been someone’s safe haven for a time. You tried not to wonder what had happened to them.

“Everythin’ okay?” He looks up from where he’s seated on the small couch in front of the fireplace. A lounge spot for guests once upon a time. Now a blessed place to rest that wasn’t harsh, frozen ground.

“Just girl stuff.”

“Girl..stuff?”

“Yes, Joel. Girl stuff.” You meet his eyes with a blank face, hoping he understood without explicit details, you didn’t want to embarrass Ellie anymore than she already felt. The subject matter probably something she didn’t want to discuss with him beforehand and especially now…You had noticed that the teenager was wary of every large shadow, anything that resembled a masculine figure. But Joel, she trusted wholeheartedly. He had never given her any reason to fear him, not beyond that first encounter.

She knew he would never raise his hand or voice at her. That he would never do so to you.

Sighing, you slumped onto the couch beside Joel. Dust flying up from the action, ingrained in the fabric despite the way you had seen Joel try to rid them of it.

“This okay?” His voice was low, almost hushed as he raised his left arm and put it along the back of the couch. You looked up at him, eyes connection and nodded before settling in beside him with your head on his shoulder and your hand on his chest. Neither of you had brought up deep conversation, questions that lingered in too-long gazes or lost in thought wonderings. Ellie was the focus right now, getting her to safety.

You sit in silence for a while, basking in the calm moment alone with him. His casual touch comforting, butterflies fluttering in your middle as you feel shy all of a sudden with him. It was out in the open, the connection you two shared, the one that had been deep enough to prompt him to see it as a weakness.

“She wants to find Marlene. But not to help her, to get more answers. To find out if the woman can be trusted.”

“She can’t be.” He’s so matter of fact, you know he’s had nothing but bad interactions with her. Bad memories of her. But so did you, despite actively trading with the woman long ago now.

“I know that and you know that, and she acknowledges that. She wants me-“

“You ain’t goin’ to see her alone.” His arm wraps over your shoulders, pulling you into him even more. As if he could physically restrain you from leaving even as you two sat together and merely discussed it.

“Joel…”

“Darlin’, she’s got too many men if the setup is half of what she had in the QZ. Too much fire power if she decides you’re the one not to be trusted and prevents you from leaving or sends them out in search of me ‘n Ellie.”

“I know…I can…I can spin a story about how Ellie got injured. That’s why you brought her to me, found me in one of my hiding spots in the city. That we- tried to keep her alive as long as possible but come winter her injuries were too bad.” You can tell he doesn’t like the idea, but it’s what you’ve got. She would have to believe it. The landscape unforgiving, the winter one of the worst in more recent years.

“She’ll wonder why it was you that came to her then, rather than me.”

“Joel…she’s…she’s going to kill her one way or another if she even so much as catches wind of a lie. I can lie, I can make the story believable, for all our sakes. She…she wants to go back to Jackson, she wants to have a home. She wants to be with us, to just…be a kid even if it’s a little too late.”

“Shouldn’t have left you there…especially the way that I did.” His voice dips, quiet and somber. A confession you already knew by the way he watched you, kept you and Ellie fed as best he could, stood watch every night so you two could rest.

“It’s…it happened. That’s all I can say.” You press your face into the crook of his neck, his right hand coming up to help you toss your legs over his own. It was quiet, it was comfortable, it was easy. Even if there was more to be said about what it all was. For now��for now you would have it, have him. You’re pretty sure you would for the rest of your life. “But…it did allow me to cross paths with some people.”

“Good people or bad people?”

“Family. Joel, I found my family.” He doesn’t say anything, though you can sense that his mind is working overtime, that worry is seeping into his thoughts, into his very being at the implication. “I sent them to Jackson, gave them my map with a note scrawled on it and the rest of my food. They…they had been traveling for a long time, no shelter for too long.

“My cousins, they…they told me how things went down back home. That my dad- that he…”

“’s okay, he’s at peace now.” He buried his nose into your hair, breathing you in. Comforting you with a press of his lips and tightening his hold on you as you practically laid in his lap. “Tommy, he’s good. He’ll take care of them. He’ll believe them, take them in and care for them like they’re his own.”

“The girl…Joel, I thought she would’ve been long dead by now. Wouldn’t even have the chance to be born. My aunt, she was still pregnant when the Outbreak happened. Had only been about four months along but, fuck…She’s so beautiful, Joel. She’s alive, her brother kept her alive.”

“Babies are a lot, but now…”

“Babies are a lot.” You repeat, thought the image of a young boy with wide brown eyes and thick curls bursts up into your mind. Freckled skin, gummy smile. Holding hands with an older Ellie…

“Without you we managed to get on the bad side of a group of….fucking religious zealots who moonlighted as cannibals. Some sick preacher who demands things of the children in his care, in his protection. What-“ He tenses beneath you, the rage and disgust he feels toward the very thought of the dead man’s mindset. “What kind of a man even thinks that way?”

“He was demented, before the end of the world. Turned into a monster long before the world turned others.”

“The way I’m imagining things going, even though you said he didn’t- didn’t do that- he still took you both, he still put his hands on you, thought about-“

“He’s gone now, let’s just…let’s just sit here, yeah?” You placed your hand over his racing heart, his adrenaline amping up and far too focused on something that was already dealt with. You knew about guilt, about shame, of carrying things with you. But this was something you didn’t want anyone to hold onto, you didn’t want it to define Ellie or Joel, didn’t want it to warp them or change the way they saw the world. Even though you knew it would, you would try your best to handle your own side of the experience and help them through theirs.

His hand rested over yours, the fire crackled on, and you both fell into a restful slumber for the first time in a long time.

The future doesn’t seem so bleak, with the younger girl still in tow. Intact and seemingly come to a decision. No more lingering questions, no more inquisitive comments, everything she had thought of and every errant thought addressed and talked about. It had taken days to hash it all out with you and Joel.

That was weeks ago, the weather warming since then. Though the nights were still stark and chilly, there was no more snow, no more storms and the ice that had taken over the landscape had melted.

It was finally spring. A season of new beginnings.

She’s been quiet when anything else was concerned, not asking after food or shelter, more layers, for someone to quit either humming or rambling as Joel had begun to do a bit to try and stave off the silence. He didn’t like it, he had confessed one night when it was late, you barely asleep and leaning against his chest in front of the fire. Quiet normally meant everything was alright, but the quiet that settled over the trio as of late, since…since that settlement, it was too quiet. Like the eerie stillness and lifeless quiet of a forest before a storm or the way birds flee the shores as giant waves build far out in the sea.

It was endearing, the way he wanted to fill the silence. To try and let Ellie know that it’s okay to ramble, to say something even if it didn’t mean anything, even if it wasn’t serious. Breaking the precedent he had set nearly a year ago now as the weather slowly warms, the crisp air becomes easier to breathe. And through it all, the time that goes on and the time spent together, it’s…it’s healing in more ways than even you anticipated.

You keep that all in mind, picturing the small smile she had finally cracked the night before. It had ben genuine; it had been real. And it meant the world to you now, even as your feet lightly scuffed along the blown-up downtown streets of Salt Lake City. The old, faded road signs that lead you here swam in your minds eye. The milage it had taken to get here, not just from Colorado, but from Wyoming, from Kansas City, from Lincoln, from Boston.

Your feet were the only two walking among amidst the city, it had taken a lot of convincing for Joel to stay behind with Ellie. The reasoning that you knew Marlene, even if he did as well by proxy from his brother’s old involvement in the Fireflies and the smuggling scene that seemed to be the center of life so long ago. You knew her, the passion she had for this project, this idea, this cure. It was damaging, the way she had prattled on and on. Asked after medical books, after your knowledge, your own ideas on the matter.

But you knew better than to put hope where things were useless. At least with this instance. There was no cure, there would never be a cure. Only adaption, from both sides. The infection changing with the environment, the spores that hung over cities in large clouds and overtook the very air evidence enough, if the different types of hierarchal mutations it made to different bodies didn’t. Runner, clickers, bloaters, all of it was bad. The simple bite transfer of infection was bad. And now it was evolving, but so was humanity.

There was no hope for help from a cure. Blood was blood, no matter if it was immune or not. It was more than just creating one, by some medical miracle. Some medical breakthrough. It was about supplies, equipment, the ability to distribute, to reverse the ways humanity and society had evolved in wake of the Outbreak. You only hoped that throughout more years, decades, lifetimes, it would prove to be the superior substance over fungi. Even you weren’t sure of it, but that was where you placed your hope.

Not in a cure sought out by a woman who would do anything to kickstart her research with a ill-devised plan. One that included killing her only source of immune antibodies at first light, which you recalled seeing in her notes long ago. You weren’t sure what that meant, but it sure as hell entailed a lot of trial and error that would rob Ellie of any kind of life she knew, a lab rat would be her future.That any chance she had at building a case, a base, a starting point; that she would use it to the full potential and not squander it away.

You had told Joel as much, sparing Ellie that particular detail as she already had lost her interest in Marlene’s cause. It was enough to convince the man to stay back, in the wilderness around the city and far enough away that even if someone had picked up your trail and backtracked, it would allow for them both to get away without any interaction or altercation. He had never trusted her, even less so now. There was no way in hell he would let her fall into the woman’s hands ever again.

He had a purpose, he admitted to you, after having lost himself after failing the last one. A confession of a family member you had known about but didn’t know the details. Didn’t need to know the details other than that the event plagued him and set him on the path that had allowed your own to cross with it He had found another one in protecting you and Ellie, is ensuring your survival and that of his brothers, Maria’s, their child now. The hot tears that had trailed down his exhausted face had melted your heart for the man even more. The simple phrase you once said without abandon bubbling up into your chest and throat, warming you from the inside out. But you hadn’t uttered it, too afraid of what was still yet to come.

In Jackson, you promised yourself. You would tell him when you made it back to Jackson, to relative safety. You would whisper it into his lips, his skin, the broadness of his shoulders, the slope of his softening middle, the thickness of his thighs and in between. You would say it with purpose once again, for the man who you had never anticipated seeing beyond glimpses in an overcrowded and under sources quarantine zone.

You can feel them all around you, still following you even after you had downed at least three of them. A disguised nudge in the right direction, some of them recognizing you, some of them knowing from orders to leave you be. Tracking behind you as you found the hospital, followed the fait signs that had been made to look worn and aged. But you knew better, knew how they operated even if you didn’t approve of it nor support it.

The woman was hunched over an entrance table of sorts, no doubt where they tried to keep track of who was entering and exiting the building they claimed for their own. She stiffened as the door opened and your boots echoed on the tile floor. Turning to look at you in disbelief, you could tell she hadn’t believed the reports over the comm lines that it was actually you.

But you sure as hell could believe it was her and you were pissed.

“Your men should know better than to try and corner me, Marlene.”

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