#blight/blur: falsepretense

[antihibikase2]

Word Count: 333

Prompt list.

He has lost count of how long he has been wandering the earth- or if he ever started.

He was sure he did, no matter how hard he had tried to deny himself the right of humanity.

“I told myself that if I was anything but human, then it would be easier to accept my fate,”

He stretches an arm out- the white sleeve of the kimono he wears slips, exposing his cracking skin to the spring breeze.

They haven’t been tended to in awhile.

“But I find myself coming back to where I was before. As if there was always something guiding me home, calling for my return,”

His open hand closes itself.

“Was it not the same for you, when you breathed your last? Were you scared?”

He could envision the flustered expression, the obvious mask of a lie.

And he missed it.

“I am certain you were- and I am certain that it was only temporary,”

As all things were.

“Your mother, your father, your brother- they were good people, and so were you.”

He had no doubt they were together; just as they should have been all those years ago.

“I walked for thousands of nights- and it seems I’ve meet my end,”

By his bedside, his Beheeyem, still like a doll, remains leaned against a stack of books, ones he’s read over and over. Flowers bloom from between the cracks.

And soon, he shall be the same.

“Giima, it was an honor to be the one to close your coffin.” 

Beside Beheyeem, a well-tended soundboard plays one of its many melodies- the voices of those that passed, and their hopes and dreams for the future.

“I had wished for you to do the same for me- a foolish dream, I am aware,”

Bringing an arm down to cover his eyes, Nikolai hears the clicking of heels against the wooden floors- and weeps.

“At the very least, wherever you are, I hope you can welcome me with open arms.”

[antihibikase2]

He doesn't quite understand the purpose of what Nikolai does.

He sits quietly in the pews, the lights filtering through the stained glass window beaming down at the altar- all while Grimsley leans by the doorway, hesitant to enter through the doors of a God.

The chapel is empty, and service has ended hours ago. All that is held is a private session of prayer, between Arceus and his most devoted.

But he does as he's promised, no matter how lonely; in exactly an hour, he prays quietly, occasionally kneeling and standing, sometimes singing a song of praise-

The singing had initially surprised him, but he makes no comment of it.

His own mother had done the same years ago, Grimsley's hand in her's, and Little Cheri in another arm.

"In this exact chapel too," He mumbles.

"Sorry, did you say something?"

Nikolai has turned around, uncharacteristically gentle in his expression; he always seemed to be different in this place.

"No, nothing, just-"

He checks his Xtransceiver.

He is not eager to play babysitter for too long, no matter how close the chapel is to the "home" that the league had arranged to house the region's most dangerous criminal,

But..

"It's time to go."

"Already?"

For someone who has lived so long, who has seen it all and been through what he could not fathom, who has lost his home and his family- to have something he could cling onto, to find solace in..

"I'll get you some prayer beads they're selling outside the chapel. The chapel monastery makes them. Proceeds go to a retirement home at the Village Bridge."

Nikolai's eyes lit up.

"And, uh, I guess a little wood carving. Of, um, Arceus?"

"Oh, that is perfect,"

He never smiles, and there is no change in tone from how he usually speaks- but he glows a little with excitement.

He seemed human.

"I can arrange a small shrine dedicated to Him in my home, in my bedroom. I will be able to pray to Him, even when I am not in the chapel,"

"But don't you do that already? I mean,"

He looks around.

"Genuinely, no offense, but why do you need to-"

"It is not that I need to. Do not let other believers tell you otherwise, that He will only listen to those who praise and worship Him in His home,"

When he stands, Grimsley can't help but shudder at the sight of his new fixation- a strange rock with a foreboding spirit, delivered to him by Grimsley himself under special instructions from a champion of another region.

But Nikolai holds onto it like a child would to their favorite doll.

"I only request to be taken here to feel closer to them. I used to help in services. I would often sing in a choir, but I would also give the offerings,"

His hold on the Odd Keystone tightens.

"It was a community activity, for the villagers to gather together to thank Him for his blessings."

Grimsley heard of such, even if he himself never felt accepted by the community here.

He didn't fully understand, much less to relate with how Nikolai looked forward to going to the chapel every week- but he didn't need to.

Him, and by extension, the league, knew that much.

He guides Nikolai outside of the chapel and does as he promises, taking his wallet out to stuff a few bills into the donation box by the entrance. He spots a stall selling handmade prayer beads, and another stall selling small, wooden statues depicting the chapel's idol.

As they leave together, from the corner of the chapel, a figure manifests from the shadows, dainty white gloves concealing the claws that held onto her hand fan.

"Taken prisoner once again- but they're much nicer than that bad man you worked for before, aren't they?"

She laughs to herself.

"Be patient, my child. I know it may hurt- but He has a plan, and you will be free from your sins and your pain,"

In the darkness of the chapel, the devil herself begins to weep.

"Please. Wait a little longer, my little dove."

[antihibikase2]

Dr. Colress realizes he's been staring at Shauntal a little too long when she makes her way towards him from across the room, playfully tilts her head, and puts her hands behind her back, a cat-like smile on her face.

"Hm? Have I done anything to displease you, doctor?"

Of course not; he himself could acknowledge that, out of everyone in the league, Shauntal had all of his respect- surely, it was not easy to be both a doctor and an accomplished writer, a public figure, a member of the league, and a priestess of Mt. Pyre back in her home region of Hoenn.

But, he could not help himself from glancing over her shoulder- and, shamefully, Shauntal had noticed.

That smile on her face grew bigger, however.

"Oh, you don't need to worry,"

She would give him a pat on the shoulder- but she knows Dr. Colress is not fond of being touched.

"I'm not interested in him. Like, at all."

If it were anyone else, he'd let out an indignant huff at such assumptions.

But for Shauntal, who had earned his respect- his admiration, even, all that came out of his lips was an uncertain "Are you sure?"

She doesn't laugh at him.

"Yup! I promise you,"

She puts a pinky up- a childish gesture.

"We've been friends since we were kids- but there's nothing going on, I guess? Besides the hauntings, but well," Now she laughs- out of amusement of her own jokes. "He's scared of ghosts."

Dr. Colress glances again over her shoulder, seeing him guide his brother out of the ballroom and into the balcony- the younger of the two seemed to be getting suffocated by the crowd.

He links his pinky with her's- something he briefly remembers doing with his mother a long time ago.

"I trust you."

...

"I loved him, you know?"

"I know."

Still, there's no venom in her tone when she applies the lacquer, nor is there disdain in her expression as she carefully pieces Dr. Colress- Doctor Nikolai Colress, back together.

He remains in Grimsley's arms, unmoving like a doll- unwanted like one too.

"If- If I had known, that he was involved, that he was the reason for Cheren's suffering-"

"It'd make me naive to say it's not his fault- but it would make me reckless to completely agree with you, even if you are my best friend."

For how whimsical she was compared to the rest of her colleagues, Shauntal sounded uncharacteristically serious.

She and Grimsley had many disagreements over the past, over matters both big and small. From what Nikolai knew, Shauntal never took most of them to heart- and Grimsley never tried pushing harder, to see if he had a winning chance.

Grimsley was the same as ever- but Shauntal was different today.

"The wandering doctor- another character forgotten by all, who disappeared from the narrative as soon as the shared heart of the princes was cured from his poison,"

When she speaks, she commands authority- when she places a careful hand on Nikolai's cheek, she reminds him of someone from a simpler time.

"If they themselves were trapped in this cycle, doomed to repeat- who is to say that Dr. Colress here is not the same?"

Even after all that he's done, his sins bare for the world to see, she still found herself addressing him with nothing but respect.

...

"He no longer loves me."

"False,"

The tables have been turned- he, the league doctor, found himself relying on someone else to tend to his needs; he thinks, if not for the stroke of luck that led to Shauntal and Caitlin's friendship, and therefore, their knowledge of his predicament, he would have been long dead in the Plasma Frigate.

They could have chosen to leave him to rot in a cell, but-

"It wasn't only me, but it was Grimsley who made sure you would be kept somewhere- well, comfortable isn't really the best word to describe it, but,"

The lacquer on his arms was a soothing baby blue; a shimmering river.

"You know, despite what many people think- he's a good guy."

Nikolai was not stupid.

He wasn't like others- he knew very well that the image of a hedonist, a frivolous gambler who lived life to the fullest, was nothing but a farce.

"Some say he's being too lenient on you- but, really, what will your suffering bring to him? It certainly would not explain what's going on with Cheren now, nor would it bring his heart back."

"He said he loved me."

"He still does."

"But in the frigate-"

She laughs again.

"Oh, come on, Doctor Colress. You of all people should know that people say things they don't mean when they're under a lot of stress- and he was still level-headed enough to understand you needed immediate help at the time."

He wants to disagree.

But, he clings onto this childish feeling of hope- hope that, despite everything,

"I do not reciprocate his feelings in that manner."

"He knows."

Shauntal finishes tending to his palms- the cracks were more obvious on his fingers.

"That doesn't mean he can't care for you, you know?"

She squeezes his hand.

"And that doesn't mean you can't like it either."

...

He remembers the feeling of sand brushing against his skin, the sound of screams overwhelming his senses as he's approached by the false prophet- the devil that tempted him and forever corrupted him, rendering him impure; unworthy of Arceus', or anyone else's, love.

It was never Beam's fault- he understood that Pokemon merely reacted to the wishes and emotions of their trainers, their bonds a vital piece to the puzzle that was their true potential.

Still, even as Beam summoned pink spheres of energy, directing them at the members of the league he was trapped with in this building,

That foolish gambler still ran towards him.

With a tight embrace, he felt himself calming down, curling into his arms like a scared child.

"Houndoom,"

Grimsley hugs his head close to his chest, roaring out an order.

"Don't let him get away! Pursuit!"

The sound of something shatters, accompanied by a ghostly scream.

His amulet clatters to the floor, immediately picked up by-

"Shauntal!"

"Oh dragons, he's breaking apart."

She's back to work as always- as if she hadn't been tossed around by a Beheeyem, slammed down against a desk, and even thrown against her other co-workers.

She lifts up her cracked glasses, squinting as she assesses the damage done to Nikolai's head.

She could have sworn that she saw a tear slide down his face- but whether she or Grimsley noticed, neither of them said a word.

...

He was near silent as he watched a path to the heavens open, the spirits of Relic Castle finally finding peace.

Fingers pressed against the glass, he wondered if he would ever be granted the same mercy.

Shauntal wasn't used to others seeing the spirits she had grown accustomed to all her life- still, she smacks Grimsley on the back as if to clue him in on the situation, snapping him out of his frozen state.

"They're benevolent spirits, Giima- and they're leaving anyway," She says quickly, voice barely above a whisper. "What are you waiting for? Go to him, he needs you."

He's flustered for a moment, stumbling over his words- but he thanks her, making his way to Nikolai.

...

He thinks that, for the remainder of his time as the Unova League's prisoner, he has made a friend or two.

He knows this because Grimsley's pain becomes his own; a feeling he realizes only two decades later.

He remains by the doorway of the chapel, afraid and unsure; Grimsley sobs over a white coffin, barely held up by his father who stands by his side.

It is difficult to not feel partially, if not wholly, responsible for the early death of Cheren Slater- but he supposes he should thank Arceus for giving the child a fulfilling life, even if he led the remainder of his days without a heart.

"He passed in his sleep peacefully, and he was surrounded by the people who loved him,"

Shauntal appears with the flowers she was asked to gather- the white jasmines in her basket clash with the black dress she was wearing; yet again another reminder.

"I think he was happy."

He would have been happier if he lived longer.

"He was far too young,"

Nikolai lowers his head.

"If I could have given him my lifespan, I would."

He would have done anything to retribute for his sins.

"Ah, but you'd just be pawning off your curse to him, no? If you don't like immortal life, I don't think Cheren would have either. It's going to crush him if he has to watch Nate grow old and die before he does."

"Just like it is with Giima now."

She bites her lip for a moment- but as always, she never looks at Nikolai with anything other than maybe pity.

A sense of understanding.

"It was something we've discussed even a couple of years back- Cheren knew, his chances at a normal life after the thing with Kyurem was,"

She thinks of a word.

"Slim."

And yet,

He was able to reclaim his rightful place as the gym leader of Aspertia.

He was able to teach new generations of trainers year after year.

He was able to nurture the career of Unova's reigning champion- the Hero of Ideals.

He was able to rekindle his relationship with his father and brother- and even with the Hero of Truth.

The thought of "What have I done for myself and for others, in the past hundred years?" passes in his head.

"He's happy, I know this. There's a reason he chose to resign from his position just a year ago."

She glances at Nikolai.

"I don't think he blames you."

I know for a fact, but she chooses not to say.

Not when the spirit of Cheren Slater sits atop his own coffin, a ghostly hand running through the hair of his brother.

...

He's long believed he was undeserving of love the moment he stepped out of his village.

He's become rotten and dirty, impure and sinful. Something Arceus would never accept in His kingdom.

But, as everyone parts ways in the funeral, Grimsley gingerly takes Nikolai's hand and leads him to his home.

In this timeline, they could never have that normal, simple life they desperately wanted for themselves- not when both of them found themselves in situations where they couldn't be anything but themselves.

At the very least, however, Nikolai is quietly thankful to not be abandoned once more- and Grimsley, still in grief, is thankful to still have someone to live for.

...

Other members of the league pass as the years do; it was no surprise when Grimsley eventually does as well.

Yet, as Nikolai weeps in the chapel, kimono wrapped around his shaking form, Shauntal crouches next to him- wearing almost the same dress she had worn many years ago to Cheren's funeral.

"Have you eaten yet?"

He shakes his head frantically, wiping his tears with the sleeves of the kimono. He's tempted to lash out at her like a child would, cheeks flushed red and tears streaming down his face.

"You should, you know,"

She's never lost that bright personality of her's- but as years passed, she's started to sound more and more like his mother.

"Giima would get worried if you weren't taking care of yourself."

Grimsley- Giima, who he once thought foolish, yet endearing.

Giima, who could have left him to rot and spent the rest of his days living happily alongside his family.

Giima, who still loved him, despite everything.

And Nikolai, who felt the same- even if he didn't deserve it.

...

Shautal is not an exception to her own mortality, despite her wisdom and connection to spirits.

She was the last of the league- the one he had grown accustomed to anyway, to pass; and the past few years had been entertaining for her, playing up rumors of her supposed immortality when all her co-workers had come and go, and she herself was the last one standing.

Nikolai holds tightly onto the Odd Keystone as he crouches by her urn- she had requested for a cremation, and soon, her ashes would be taken back to her home in Hoenn.

"I will be moving to Route 10- the forest that has grown there would make a perfect home for me."

Even if the league- Grimsley especially, had arranged for Nikolai to live a comfortable existence after their passing, it felt wrong to stay in a place they would no longer visit.

"I am uncertain as to who will treat me now,"

Partially a lie- Nikolai himself was more than capable of tending to his own worn body.

But really, how could he- after all this?

"But I will be alright."

He's not sure if she appreciates wild berries, herbs, or the dandelions he's picked up on the way- he's still very much poor with handling money, and he's absolutely refused to touch any of what was left for him by Grimsley.

But he thinks he knows her well enough to know that she appreciates his little gifts over store-brought flowers.

As he leaves her, and by extension, the rest of the world as he knew it, Beam accompanies him as it always had, hand in hand.

Nikolai wonders if Cheren had waited for Grimsley when his time had come- and he wonders if Grimsley, in turn, waited for Shauntal.

He hopes it wouldn't be presumptuous of him; but, he childishly wishes, that when the time comes and Arceus grants him mercy, they would wait for him all the same.

[antihibikase2]

🖤 Pursuit

Commission for @mhizzberry.

It speaks to him in a language so old, he was sure N would not be able to understand it. 

No, he was positive that N would not be able to, no matter how hard he tried. 

N had not been able to understand the droning noises of his Beheeyem after all, pondering to himself the origins of such a mysterious entity.

Deep in the Relic Castle, N must have seen the truth- just as much as Nikolai was confronted with the reality before him, psychic energy swirling from his feet.

“It’s you again, isn’t it?”

In place of a mask, the face he had worn when he was alive, the ghost of The False Prophet carries a choker with an amulet shaped like a tear- Nikolai remembered receiving such a gift from his mother when he was young.

Perhaps it was the tears of not only his mother, but his village.

“You traitor,”

Their grief and sorrow- The False Prophet had promised him long ago that he would take them away, offering a hand to Nikolai to start a new life, almost back to a state of innocence.

Nikolai had been foolish enough to fall into sin, despite his village’s warnings.

For that, he had paid the ultimate price.

“You left me to die.”

He covers the side of his head with his hands. 

The energy swirling around him swallows everything whole, the cries of those in the present mingling with the screams of those in the past.

“Do not try to sway me again. I know who you are, I know what you want, you-”

He clutches onto his chest. A pathetic sob rips out of his throat.

“You had promised to take care of me. You had promised me a better life. I gave you everything I had,”

He hears his name (not his name, never his name) being called.

He digs his fingernails into his skin, but the sound of his body cracking does nothing to drown out the voices.

“You were just like them. You were just like them, how did I think-”

Why did I think-

“-that any of you would have understood?”

That the world outside of the forest would be anything but cruel?

His name is called again- the name he went by, the name all his sins were tied to.

The name he had picked specifically because-

“Mother, I-”

He would have forgotten otherwise; about his village, about her.

“I want to go home.”

The False Prophet has an imposing presence, a Yamask much larger than others. 

Even as Nikolai tries to stand his ground, he couldn’t help but crumble to his knees, hiding himself from the rest of the world- just as it was meant to be.

“Nikolai!”

“Acro, my little dove, promise me something.”

Something- someone, cuts through the vortex of psychic energy.

“Whatever happens-”

He’s pulled into a tight embrace, his head nestled under someone’s chin.

“Houndoom, don’t let him get away!”

“-do not leave the forest, okay?”

“Pursuit!”

He buries his face on Grimsley’s shoulder, eyes shut tight as the screams of the False Prophet ring in his ears.

Distorting, warping- it was almost familiar, something out of hell itself.

And, in an instant-

“It’s gone.”

An amulet clatters to the floor, the last of Cogita’s tears.