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careless-with-your-heart · 2 years ago

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The Air She Feeds Me is Damned (Barry AU - Original Female Character)

Chapter One is: HERE

It's been three years since Barry bolted, leaving LA after the breakup, disappearing before Moss started asking questions. Now, he's living on the East Coast, under a new name, working a string of shitty, under-the-radar jobs. Oh, he's still quietly falling apart, but at least his hands are clean. Barry Berkman's perfectly fine, thankyouverymuch, until he witnesses a murder - and he can't stop fantasizing about the woman who committed it.

Chapter Two:

The second time, she actually sees him first—technically, Barry never sees her at all.

Things haven’t been working out so great for him lately; the expense of living in this steel-and-neon anthill, the sheer number of hours that he needs to be bent over some menial task just to survive, the loneliness that does nothing but give him time to reflect on what happened in LA, it all weighs down on him, wears at him. Barry is startled to find that, sometimes, when he is just at the edge between asleep and awake, his right hand curls around an imaginary, crosshatched grip. His trigger finger physically itches.

He tries video games. He tries junk food. He tries target shooting. He even tries picking up a woman in a bar, as pathetic as it sounds, because he isn’t sure that the heavy pressure low in his gut isn’t just the result of almost three years of celibacy. A woman walks in, average in every aspect, but there is something in the way her dishwater hair falls just to her shoulder, and in the way her eyes crinkle at the corners when she laughs at something the bouncer says, that makes Barry’s stomach turn with acid. He slams down his vodka soda—his third in the past hour—and bolts from the bar.

He knows what the itch is. And he knows what has caused it. All it had taken was locking eyes with her for the briefest flash, and here he was, everything in his body strung so tight that he feels he might snap. Barry wants to know who she is, why she killed the man at the bus stop, and what she tastes like in the dark. He doesn’t even care what she looks like under all that black, only that she knows how it feels to take a life with her own hands. He wants those hands on him.

But he’ll never have them. And, really, he shouldn’t. He knows that this fixation is ten toes over the edge, and advancing, and he knows that it’s unhealthy. As much as anything else, he knows that he won’t be able to stop. The universe is not that fair. If it were fair, then Sally, and Gene, and even Hank would have never crossed his path—and they would have been so much better for it. And so, Barry drudges on for as long as he can, emptying trash cans in the park, standing in a sandwich board in the hot, noisy stream of a million morning commuters, being led down that same dark, fateful street by a pack of dogs more financially stable than he is.

Rent is late for the second month in a row when Barry lets the excuse break the dam. He feels flushed, hot, out of breath as he lets the urge take over, and he feels the same tremble that he did that first night as he presses “send” on a text to the number listed in the Craigslist ad.

Three and a half hours later, he’s crouched in a copse of bushes outside a cheating COO’s upstate house, her husband’s measly six grand in his bank account and that same drugging buzz in his head that has always come before a kill.

The scent of vanilla and deep, heady spice fills his nose. The barrel of her gun presses, cold in the hot summer air, against the nape of his neck. Just as she does so, he feels a bead of sweat roll from his hairline, trickling down to meet the digging steel. Then, she’s in his ear, and he lets his eyes slip closed.

“Hey, dog guy. Keep your eyes ahead and keep your fucking hands where I can see them.” Her breath is warm, even warmer than the outside air. Still, Barry shivers. “You take money for this gig? Nod or shake your head.”

He nods. Maye she’ll end him. What a blessing that would be.

“Looks like Mister Mom wants to make sure his cash cow gets to the chopping block. He bought two of us.”

Barry nods.

She continues. “You have about twenty seconds to pack up your gear and go. Normally, I’d blow your fucking head off and leave your body here to be discovered by an insufferable suburban housewife, who’ll soak up all the attention she gets at her next MLM meeting when she describes how your face was caved in to her neighborhood friends, but…”

He laughs. It’s probably not what she expects, but she lets him.

She digs the gun in harder at his nape. Barry feels himself harden painfully behind his jeans zipper.

“But what?” he croaks. She didn’t say he wasn’t allowed to talk to her.

“But I kinda like your face,” she says. “And I can tell you’re out. So, stay out. Don’t be a fuckup.”

With that, she’s gone, and the only thing she leaves is a lingering trail of that distinctly heady scent.

#barry #barry hbo #hbo barry #barry berkman #bill hader #au #fanfiction #fanfic

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tlbodine · 4 years ago

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A Trio of Torture Films

The 2000s in horror is perhaps best known for its “torture porn” phase -- a period in which horror movies featuring over-the-top gore, lingering shots of human misery, and plots focused more on suffering than death came to prominence.

There are a lot of reasons for the rise of the torture porn. A lot of it has to do with the political environment of the U.S. in the early 2000s -- post 9/11, with terrorism on the brain, a war being waged in two different countries, videos of people being beheaded, reports of torture and war crimes.

So here’s three takes on the torture genre from the 2000s that we’ve watched recently.

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The Collector (2009), directed by Marcus Dunstan, is one of those films that streaming services have been recommending to me for ages and which I’d never gotten around to watching until now. It’s better than I expected it to be. I wouldn’t call it a great movie, I think it’s pretty obviously a fairly mainstream film trying to tap into a cultural moment to make a buck, but it’s well-made and not completely without soul.

The story is a home-invasion-gone-wrong film: A down-on-his-luck handyman tries to rob a rich family, only to discover when he gets there that someone else has also broken in, captured the family, and is horrifyingly torturing them all as some part of an elaborate game. There’s a little bit of everything in this movie, from over-the-top rube-goldberg torture devices to cat-and-mouse games, shadowy conspiracies, sticky skin-melting acid, window guillotines, a killing game, you name it!

This grab-bag of tropes is both a weakness and a strength. It hits a lot of the notes that fans may love about other movies made before and since: home invasion (The Strangers, Funny Games), home invasion gone wrong (You’re Next, The People Under the Stairs, Don’t Breathe), killing games (Chosen, 13 Sins), creative torture (Saw, Se7en). But it also doesn’t really commit to any of its themes; it doesn’t seem to be a movie that has much of anything to say.

But it’s fun to watch, if you enjoy blood & guts.

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Martyrs (2008) is a French “New Extremity” movement film written and directed by Pascal Laugier. It’s infamous for being extremely difficult to watch due to its brutal and graphic violence, and it deserves that reputation -- this is a hard movie to sit through. I do think it’s a very good film, though, and one that raises some really interesting questions if you choose to engage with them.

The story centers on two girls who meet in an orphanage. One is a survivor of horrific abuse at the hands of a kidnapper; after escaping the torture dungeon where she’d been held, she’s haunted (literally) by her trauma and seeks vengeance on the people that hurt her. But the vengeance quest is not satisfying, and it plunges her and her friend into an even more gruesome and horrifying reality.

I don’t want to share too much more about the plot because it’s twisty and turny and it deserves to be enjoyed unspoilered. I will say that this movie is a genuine rollercoaster. It reinvents itself every 30 minutes or so. You know how I’ve talked about Hitchcock Twists, the kind of twist that dramatically changes the direction a film is taking to say “Surprise! You THOUGHT you were getting THIS movie, but instead it’s THIS!”? Well, Martyrs has like four Hitchcock twists. I’ve never seen that done before and certainly never with as much coherence as in this film.

What I think is especially interesting about it is the way the movie directly confronts the “blessed are the broken” trope. In the same way that Funny Games challenges people who find violence entertaining, Martyrs gives a stern look to people who look for meaning in suffering. “Perhaps,” Martyrs seems to say, while coldly looking you in the eye, “Suffering simply exists, and trying to find meaning in it is just an excuse to allow it to continue.”

And I really dig that.

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Hostel (2005), directed by Eli Roth, is one of the cornerstones of the “torture porn” genre, and it’s a movie I have a tremendous soft spot for. The story is pretty simple: A group of young men go on one of those European backpacking trips that’s mostly about doing drugs and getting laid. After a wild night in Amsterdam, they get a tip-off about a small town in Slovakia where there are no tourists, where the women are hot for American boys, and where you can pay to do anything you want.

The only problem, as they soon discover, is that they haven’t been sent to be the paying customers -- they’re the victims.

What follows is a bloody fight for survival and escape from a grisly real-world torture house where rich people from all around the world show up and pay a handsome price for the pleasure of killing with impunity. It’s that “red room” setup once again, but this one feels entirely too plausible.

What I really enjoy about this movie is just how surprisingly well-written it is. When you’re first introduced to the main characters, you have every reason to hate them; but the protagonist earns your sympathy slowly and organically, and the film recognizes and illustrates the difference between “feel good” violence (perpetrated against evil-doers) and horrifying violence (perpetrated against victims). Eli Roth is a filmmaker who understands the visual language of violence and knows how to work with it to dramatic and thematic effect. A lot of gory movies are one-note, causing you to just tune out the worst bits, but Roth keeps you on your toes -- sometimes cutting away and hinting, sometimes showing the aftermath, sometimes swiftly and brutally showing it on-screen.

I think Hostel is a film that has something to say about tourism and exploitation, and it’s a more thoughtful film than you might expect it to be. Kind of like how Texas Chainsaw Massacre stands out from other slashers because it means something to the creator, Hostel feels more important and more memorable than most other films of its genre.

I have not seen the sequels, and I probably won’t. I don’t think that I’d enjoy them.

#horror movies #horror by the decade #horror through the decades #the collector #martyrs #hostel

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krolock-in-the-snowlock · 4 years ago

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My Full Commentary on Broadway’s Dance of the Vampires

Turns out there’s so much that this is going to have to be split into two posts! These are my full, unedited, out-of-context ramblings as I watched the production, so prepare for it to be all over the place and chaotic! I also did a slightly shorter review of sorts here!

But here we go... Act 1!

• Huh. This is not Alfred in the snow

• Why are there three children in the forest

• This song is boring. To be fair their voices are nice but I’m still bored. This feels like Disney ugh

• God these jokes are awful and I can’t tell if they’re funny or not

• Whyyyyy is there a jokes every 5 seconds and WHAT ARE THEY DOING IN THE FOREST

• Oh my god why are they getting high on mushrooms

• wAIT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO BE SARAH HOLY SHIT

• WHY IS SHE WITH PEOPLE ARE THEY HER SIBLINGS

• WHY IS SHE OUTSIDE

• I feel like they’re foreshadowing Krolock’s arrival

• I want to get this over with already and see Krolock but I don’t want to see Crawford butcher his poor character

• What is going on why are they dancing, is this Carpe Noctem already

• Why are they just carrying them around

• The lights are nice but that’s about as far as I can compliment this

• The dancers (I’m guessing vampires even though I swear I heard a wolf howl) look like they just got off of Cats and either think they’re still in Cats but just wandered onto the wrong stage or just never recovered from being cats for so long and can tragically no longer move like normal humans (or vampires, whatever)

• The rock music is pretty cool I’ll give them that

• But I still don’t see where they’re going with this

• OH SHIT

• WHY DID A COFFIN LITERALLY RISE OUT OF THE GROUND

• IT’S GONNA BE KROLOCK ISN’T IT

• WHYYY

• God has left the building what the fuc-

• It sounds like he’s about to start a really sad rave

• Is that Krolock’s voice oh god please no

• Also THEY ARE NOT IN A BUILDING THEY ARE IN A FOREST

• I get that Krolock breaks the fourth wall in Die Unstillbare Gier but that is no excuse for this aAaAa

• I’m both scared and morbidly excited to unpause the video

• This feels on the same level of what kind of acid trip hallucination parallel universe have I landed in as seeing the Cats film in the cinema in that I’m both scaredly laughing and like fuck it what have I got to lose I’m here for the ride no matter what the next two hours may throw at me

• Oh god here I go

• Why are they applauding this is horrifying

• Is that a bloody top hat jesus christ

• Also I’m sorry but what kind of coffin is that big

• NO

• NONONONO

• I CAN’T THIS IS HORRIBLE

• COUNT GIOVANNI

• WHAT IS THAT VOICE

• Sarah sounded like Giofuckingvanni impersonating Sarah

• Did he just say you are a person

• And how old are you??? Where is the mystery?? Why does he sound like an old grandpa talking to the girl behind the checkout at the supermarket

• Ok I went back to check and no he said you are perfect and tbh that’s not much better she isn’t a product Giovanni

• Like yeah Krolock would probably be thinking that but he would never say it so plainly

• 18 in three days oh my god is her birthday on halloween

• Why does she talk like a 6 year old

• Oh no I’m sorry not just halloween but the total eclipse of the moon

• Gotta get the phrase total eclipse in there early

• At midnight huh sarah??? You were born at midnight???? And you care about that at 18-in-3-days??

• Issa too good excUSE ME?

• He sounds like a looney tunes character

• Is he talking to the audience

• Is this actually deadpool in disguise with all the fourth wall breaking because please that would be so much better than this trainwreck

• And Deadpool would never do this to poor TdV

• And your name, no don’t tell me… Sarah he’s not a cheap magician ugh (or tbh maybe Giovanni is)

• And now the einladung zum ball/tanzsaal music is playing… what is going to happen here

• I was gonna say finally something familiar but nope these lyrics are so wrong

• I know they can’t be exactly the same but they could have at least kept the meaning similar

• Like, what the hell is an original sin

• I was gonna roast the lyrics some more but I’m gonna be honest I’m not sure what he’s saying

• Endless researching? Ambronsius who? Awful word choice and I’m hating the repeated original sin thing he’s got going on

• Sei bereit????? So they’re keeping the German there???? Why??? Be prepared is the same number of syllables???

• Also what are they doing?? Merging einladung zum ball with gott ist tot or totale finsternis or what??

• Oh they said turn around… so not the literal translation, just the Bonnie Tyler lyrics, huh? That doesn’t even make sense. He’s in front of her already

• I’m sorry, since she’s been born??

• I’m mad that his voice is good because he could have performed in a faithful adaption and been a great Krolock but no he had to ruin everything and now we won’t get a good english version thanks michael

• It’s time to feed? Really?

• Oh so we are doing totale finsternis already

• We’re barely 11 minutes in and they’ve already used up two of the best songs in the musical?

• Also if Sarah and Krolock meet so early on, what’s gonna take up the first act? What’s gonna take the place of totale finsternis at act 2?

• The use of total eclipse of the heart definitely feels like an intentional joke here rather than just jim recycling his old stuff, and honestly it kind of works like that (though that’s only because this whole thing so far seems like one big parody)

• But if they don’t do the harmonies I’m gonna be so mad

• Or maybe I should just consider it a blessing tbh

• Nobody could ever beat drew and diana

• You’re so cool just because that’s what I think when I see Krolock that doesn’t mean that fits Sarah’s personality or what Krolock is supposed to be achieving (also Giovanni is most certainly Not Cool)

• Where I’ve paused it at 12:12 it looks like a meme. Crawford looks like he regrets everything and can I just say michael so does everybody else

• He looks like a potato or a rock or that neutral nicolas cage face that people put on the sequin cushion

• I hate that I kind of laughed at ‘and does he love me?’ ‘…Sarah.’

• She looks like a barbie doll

• Is he biting her already??

• Oh was he licking her neck?

• Why… don’t you celebrate… your birthday… at my castle? Oh my god

• This sounds like a poorly written krolock/reader wattpad fanfic

• Which is actually quite accurate

• He will return with the tails??

• He can’t gift her the sponge if the significance of the sponge hasn’t already been establisheddd

• It feel like lol aren’t i so random rawr xd

• Though giovanni would highkey be like that on myspace

• Also just saying, the sponge krolock gives to her in tdv is much more impressive than that normal sized sponge, up ur game giovanni

• And that’s just it????? He says ciao bella like a creepy mario then sinks into the ground again???

• How dare they use those nice choral harmonies for that scene

• Ah, 14:17 and I should go to bed but I sure don’t look forward to the garlic that I hear coming up

Day 2: Garlic

• And we’re back for round 2!

• So far garlic seems to have a similar vibe to the original, probably because the original was pretty dumb

• Yeah pretty much the same as the original

• But if there’s no frozen alfred and professor yet, what’s even going on?

• And that’s over

• Oh so they’re just gonna arrive like that, no drama or anything?

• Ew why does alfred sound like that? He might as well be gaston

• Oh so they’re mentioning Krolock by name??? When they’re supposed to be pretending he doesn’t exist?

• Oh so that was a mistake by an idiot, I see. Was this in the original?

• The whole smelling like feet thing is kind of funny, I hate to admit it. It’s just a shame it doesn’t fit Alfred’s character

• All in all, ignoring the fact that alfred is all wrong and not frozen, this scene is going pretty well. The jokes are quite good

• Huh who is this supposed to be??

• Oh my gOD IT’S GIOVANNI

• AND HIS STUPID ISSA TOO GOOD

• I really hate that I kind of enjoyed that reveal on some level

• But why????

• Where is koukol

• That silk is not going to be enough for sarah’s ballgown, I hate to break it to you Giovanni

• All of these modern phrases like I leave the door open and put it on my tab just don’t fit

• At this point I’ve decided to stop trying to take Giovanni seriouslg. This is a parody in my eyes

• Ah we’re at logic round 1 huh?

• It’s a shame the only bits so far that they’ve kept fairly accurate are the parts I never liked as much

• Oh my god is giovanni visiting the house as a bat???

• I’m not entirely certain who this other guy is… chagal?

• Frickin idiots really giovanni?

• Oh so koukol doesn’t even exist???

• Is his name morris??

• This is weird

• Ah finally sarah is in the bath

• But it’s in her room???

• Did she call alfred tasty?? You’re not a vampire yet sarah

• They’re both way too outgoing and confident ugh it’s wrong

• Where’s all the cute awkward clumsiness and interactions?

• Ok so alfred’s diary stuff is funny but it’s not alfred. Like, he was probably thinking some of this stuff but he wouldn’t say it, especially not like that

• Well chagal is less sexist and abusive here which is nice but ultimately removes sarah’s motivations

• A blood transfusion??

• I don’t even know what to say, these jokes are kinda gross

• Orange and black crepe paper? A pumpkin?? The prophecy thing? This is just stupid

• The pumpkin probably would scare giovanni away though

Sarah and Alfred’s duet doesn’t work when they’re both in THE SAME ROOM

• This is boring ugh they just met but not even in the way they did originally

• Where’s krolock to invite her to the ball? Oh wait, they already met, and it’s giovanni

• Dammit I love the einladung zum ball scene

• Did they even check blood types?? Oh wait it’s 18whatever supposedly

• Ew they’re supposed to bond over sponges not journals

• Oh here’s chagal’s gross song. Marginally less gross in this context to be fair but still

• Ha no one will abuse you except for you huh chagal

• Oh bye I guess chagal

• NO THAT BAT IS AWFUL OH MY GOD

• WHY DID THEY DO THIS

• GIOVANNI NO

• WHAT IS HE SINGING

• This is horrible

• Where’s the drama, the impressive teleportation, the cape swishing, the mystery, the music?

• Issa me! He might have just as well gone and said Itsa me, Mario!

• This is a crime

• He genuinely thinks she’s a princess nOOOOOO

• Krolock would never

• But I guess giovanni is just Like That

• Krolock wouldn’t complain about the smell, he would pull a face but that would be it

• The joke about the mirrors..? Is giovanni really that stupid or is he self aware and is joking with the audience?

• And the way he just stands there facing the audience in silence as they laugh… he’s got to be self aware

• Also this whole thing is so stupid in its attempts to be funny that I bet we won’t even get die unstillbare gier because giovanni could never pull off anything so genuine or serious (nor could any of the others though)

• Oh god are they semi doing einladung zum ball with the never enough stuff? But it’s not even dramatic or powerful enough ughhh

• Nooooo they made it sound all sappy and romantic when it’s supposed to be dark and commanding and… I don’t even have the words to describe it but no this is awful

• Also the lyrics feel so much more shallow than the original… and the original was so full of what was probably too many syllables that this just feels empty and drawn out

• Oh I’ve got it! Giovanni is like trying to convince her kindly like, oh sarah, that would never be enough for you, darling whereas krolock is stating a powerful fact, he’s like that would never be enough. Krolock knows that she knows and is just kind of showing her that he understands her and she should join him.

• Also michael if you sing the long note at the end, it needs to be meaningful, powerful, entrancing, inviting, exciting, dark, strong. You can’t just do a weedy weak version with no power and no meaning or purpose to the scene

• Why is mars rising

• Oh is it supposed to be a blood moon I bet it is

• This is new…

• The lyrics are all hey sarah, you can do whatever cool stuff you want, the dark side is fun haha

• There’s no story, no appeal to her character development or deeper motivations

• The staging is boring. They’re just stood there. Like two pigeons aimlessly squawking at each other, only one pigeon has decided it won’t shut up

• Giovanni’s makeup and hair are all wrong too

• Dear god only 45 minutes in

• Oh so chagal is frozen and bitten at the very least

• Oh magda and mrs chagal are both singing

• The harmonies are nice, I’ll give them that

• Ah here he goes

• Ew why is he a dog

• Oh mrs krolock is back

• Ooh manipulative he lies

• Ew alfred no kissing without asking first

• And here’s draussen ist freiheit

• Oh but it’s not about freedom, it’s bravery instead

• Why has it got a a dance beat now

• Oh no giovanni’s voice is ruining everything again

• Every time I think the music is actually alright, giovanni’s weaselly voice ruins everything

• Ah finally the end of act 1, though lesss cool when not on a house

• At only 1 hour and 4 minutes, we’ve done it. Halfway through. This is where things should start getting good but of course that probably won’t happen.

• Wait we didn’t even get gott ist tot

• Oh no here it is

• Sounds like they’re keeping it the same

• Ok michael you’re not doing too badly

• *cough* But hey that’s probably because you’re sticking to the source material *cough*

• Ah ok now it’s the end of act 1 at 1 hour, 6 minutes and 30 seconds.

• And what an hour, 6 minutes and 30 seconds they’ve been

• So, before we move on, a quick summary:

• The better parts are the parts where they actually stick to the source material

• Giovanni is the polar opposite of Krolock and therefore cannot even be called Krolock

• The jokes are awful but sometimes funny

• I’m dreading act 2

• Dear god we haven’t even seen herbert yet

• And if sarah is already at the castle, is totale finsternis even going to happen again?

• I guess we’ll find out whether we want to or not in…

Part 2!

#tanz der vampire #dance of the vampires #I am so sorry #this is such a mess

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theunderdogwrites · 4 years ago

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2020: The Year I Lost My Ass

Well, we reached the end of that toilet roll only to start another one, because that is what we do for as long as we are allowed to continue revolutions around the sun – we keep going.

2020 was a terrible year for so many. My brain is incapable of processing the number of losses suffered on a global scale. Be it jobs, security, rights, sanity, relationships or life. My brain is not just incapable of these calculations, it has plain refused to entertain those thoughts on behalf of my heart. My heart, that sensitive little blood pumping work horse who not once allows itself to stop. Thank goodness.

I don’t believe the majority of people are willing and able to bring themselves to fully comprehend what was lost in 2020.

Here is a list of a few more losses suffered last year:

- People lost their shit. And over the most ridiculous things like toilet paper, having to wear a mask to secure toilet paper and being held to the consequences resulting from not wearing a mask when asked to while attempting to purchase toilet paper. Pause for a moment and let that last sentence hang around in your mind. 2020 made that happen. I didn’t make it up! Recently I saw a news piece showing a man (40’s) lying down on the floor in a Costco to protest being asked to wear a mask. He spoke loudly, he beat his hands at his sides and wildly kicked his legs when an employee asked him to get up. Now, I am not judging for I too have participated in such behaviour MANY times. Granted I was three, but hey… some of us mature faster than others.

- People lost their damn minds. 2020 should be dubbed “The Year of The Karen”. For those of you not in the know about the Karen phenomenon, here is a description courtesy of Urban Dictionary:

“Karen is a pejorative term used in the United States and other English-speaking countries for a woman perceived as entitled or demanding beyond the scope of what is appropriate or necessary. A common stereotype is that of a white woman who uses her privilege to demand her own way at the expense of others.’

Basically, a Karen is a I WANT TO SPEAK TO YOUR MANAGER type person (There is a male equivalent, but it seems no one can agree on the name… Chad, Terry, Kyle, Kevin, Steve). You can often find a Karen on her cellphone calling the police to report a black man who lives in her neighborhood, simply living his life in her neighbourhood. I didn’t make that up either.

More recently a Karen was videoed in a UPS store claiming that she didn’t have to wear a mask because that space was government property and not a private business. Would it be safe to say that most Karen types suffer from a lack of oxygen to their brain? Possibly. But that would involve science and Karen types DO NOT enjoy hard facts.

As always when I download my thoughts into reality, I must go within and search myself. Am I a Karen? My immediate answer is: no fucking way. I can honestly say I’ve never once asked to see a manager or called the police to report someone eating their lunch on a park bench. I do not enjoy confrontation. Unless there is a bully involved. Then I will drag that person to hell with me. I much prefer discussion over going straight to the ‘I triple dog dare you!’ approach to the world. (If you got that reference, you are my new favourite) Because that is who a Karen really is… someone who jumps right to the most extreme action in order to satisfy their need to be superior. Truly, we should feel sorry for these people because instead of engaging they’re raging. And how awful must their insides feel… always full of anger, fear and self doubt. I say instead of judging these Karen types or putting them on blast on social media, we should hug the shit out of them. Just grab them and squeeze as hard as you fucking can until they stop talking. Peaceful solutions my friends, peaceful solutions.

- Pets lost their faith in us. Children a close second. If you are a proud owner of a pet or a child, you know exactly what I’m talking about.

I’ve always operated under the notion that my cat loves it when I’m home and hates it when I leave. 2020 has taught me it might be the other way around. Because our animals are, well, animals we just believe our presence is the greatest gift in their lives. Remember when you were old enough to be left alone by your parents and once you had the taste of that kind of freedom, you just wanted more of it and couldn’t wait for them to go out? I feel it’s like that with our pets now. We might not think animals have a routine or preferences or enjoy some alone time, but we’d be wrong.

I think at first our pets were thrilled. If we are home more it means more time for prolonged petting, walks and the opportunity to ritualistically train us to respond to their caterwauls for more food and treats than normal. But then as the weeks of lockdown and working from home increased, so did our pets desire to kill us in our sleep.

I’m pretty sure my cat has asked me several times using her feline glare: “why the fuck won’t you just leave?”. It would be naïve of us to assume we don’t disrupt their day with our constant noise making and snacking and scotch drinking that leads to a good buzz that leads to showing too much affection to our pets. To the point where they run and hide when they see us coming. Please tell me I didn’t describe just my own experience.

There is such a thing as everything in moderation, we know this, so I think it can be applied here. People, get away from your pets. Give them the space you often desire from human beings. Because if you don’t, that random turd in your shoe could be pointing to a much larger, more alarming problem you’re about to encounter.

I had the absolute blessing of being able to assist in caring for and raising of my three nephews (12,9,6) for the last 11 years. So, when I say: ‘children are always watching us’, I feel I know what I’m talking about. I’ve been mimicked so often by these young boys that I’ve had to pause due to mortification. Children will hold you accountable without even knowing it. I’ve had some behaviours of mine corrected by a 5-year-old and let me tell you, it stings like hell.

As adults, when our world was thrown into turmoil because of Covid-19, we looked to our medical health professionals and our politicians for guidance. Basically, we searched for those who would lead us. The children – looked to us. And while many adults handled this responsibility the best they possibly could, many more failed miserably and displayed attitudes I can only describe as juvenile, damaging and pathetic. I suppose it doesn’t help if the people the adults are looking to for help are themselves - juvenile, damaging and pathetic.

When I say we still have not grasped just how much has been lost over the past year, I’m hinting at integrity, compassion and creditability. Three vital qualities you’d hope people want to instill into their children. But if they themselves are unable to display such valuable traits, what does this say for the children who are looking up to them as an example on how to act when life gets challenging?

For myself in 2020, I gained by losing.

When they locked our gyms down for four months last spring, I came close to being one of those people who lost their shit. While people were moaning about wearing a mask for 20 minutes in the grocery store, I was contemplating if murdering those people could be considered a cardio exercise and would that hold up in a court of law.

To reflect on that time period now (especially since our gyms are closed AGAIN at the moment) the loss of the gyms brought me the knowledge of how important the routine of going to and being in the gym is to my mental health. I won’t launch into how I feel about shopping malls being open and gyms being closed despite their proven benefit to one’s overall health because then I really will lose my shit.

People always say getting to the gym is the hardest part and once they’re there it’s easy to workout. And for many that is the truth, but for me it’s all a part of the workout. Getting to the gym is the psychological effort. Putting in the work at the gym is the physical. You can’t have one without the other. I became so pathetic that I’d often walk to the closed gym from my house, stare at the closed doors and then walk home. 1.5 hour round trip. True story.

Remember a few years back everyone became obsessed with that Netflix show ‘Tidying Up with Marie Kondo’? It is the show where that lovely woman from Japan showed us all how to declutter our homes by getting rid of anything that didn’t bring us joy. Those acid wash jeans from 1989… sit with them… hold them close to your chest… if they don’t make you happy, remove them from your space. Well, the same idea can be applied to people and ideas and even feelings. And 2020 was a great year for simplifying our lives. I’ve heard so many people talk about how they can’t wait to get back to ‘normal’… not me. I’ve already started my ‘new normal’.

The loss of drama has gained me peace and a better understanding of the importance of remaining true to who I am instead of trying to please others in hopes it wins me points. Because it doesn’t. Because its inauthentic and only brings you more loss and more drama. And anxiety. And sleepless nights. And an overall sense of hatred for everyone. 2020 gave me the option to no longer care about the things that don’t make me happy and to embrace the process of letting all that stupid bullshit fade away.

It was a year of gained focus.

It was a year of gained appreciation.

It was a year of gained gratitude.

It was a year of gained love for myself.

I’m going to leave you now, but not before I share one of my favorite songs by the Tragically Hip:

In A World Possessed by The Human Mind

Just give me the news

It can all be lies

Exciting over fair or the right thing at the right time

Everything is clear

Just how you described

The way it appears, "A world possessed by the human mind"

Then I think I smiled

Then I think you said, "it's fine"

And quietly I dressed, in a world completely possessed by the human mind

We're in awe of no one

We've none of their fear

Fighting's goin' nowhere and we stay right here

Where everything is quiet

A little super dangerous

"In the shadow of the law and with colours of justice"

Then I hope I smiled

Then I'm sure you said, "It's fine"

They got no interest in a world completely possessed by the human mind

Everything is quiet

A little super dangerous

Quiet enough to hear God rustlin' around in the bushes

Oh, but it was you

Girl, I was so afraid

You said, "You shoulda seen the look on your face"

Then I hope I laughed

Then I hope I said, "it's fine"

And quietly undressed in a world completely possessed by the human mind

Oh it was you

Girl, I was so afraid

You said, "You shoulda seen the look on your face"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mgXphurrsE0

#2020 #covid #lockdown #gym #marie kondo #the tragically hip #karen #petsarefamily #peace

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randomvarious · 4 years ago

Audio

Freddie Fresh feat. Fatboy Slim - “Badder Badder Schwing” Big Beat Song released in 1998. Compilation released in 1999. Big Beat / Breaks

Let's start this post off with a graf from the preamble of a 2018 Freddy Fresh interview, conducted by Matt Lush in Decoded Magazine:

Freddy Fresh is a name that shouldn't require an introduction. From the vast output of his multiple genre-spanning labels; Analog USA, Electric Music Foundation and Howlin' Records, to winning the ARSC Journalism Award for cataloguing every hip-hop release ever made in a single book, crafting timeless acid and electro under over 15 aliases with the likes of Thomas Heckmann, Woody McBride, Tim Taylor and Paul Birkin, and the rest, big beat with Fat Boy Slim, his soundtrack work...it goes on... yet ironically, in my experience anyway, Freddy Fresh seems to be so often underrated, unconsciously ignored, or even completely unknown in the modern electronic world.

Over the course of his career, Freddy Fresh has had his fingers lodged in many different pies. In fact, those pies are sometimes stacked on top of each other so a single finger can penetrate multiple pies at once. Fresh is a DJ's DJ who can patch together eclectic mixes of house, techno, funk, disco, breaks, hip hop, electro, and more; he's produced music across a panoply of dance genres; he's founded a bunch of different record labels; he's opened for blink-182 on tour; his music has appeared in multiple films, TV shows, and commercials; he's authored indispensable books that document hip hop's early history; he's taught DJing at a local college; and he also sells rare records. Put simply, if you're not familiar with Freddy Fresh, you should be.

Freddy Fresh first found his initial passion for music in hip hop culture, entirely thanks to a 1984 trip from his hometown of St. Paul to the Bronx. From then, he would try to ingratiate himself into the Big Apple's hip hop scene, returning once every year with hopes of impressing the right people. He wasn't all that successful, but he did land a track on a 1988 Boogie Down Productions remix album, which honored the memory of BDP's recently slain co-founder, DJ Scott La Rock. Another fun fact that links Freddy to BDP is that if you look at the cover of BDP's landmark debut album, 1987's Criminal Minded, you'll see a plaque towards the bottom lefthand corner. Know who furnished that plaque for them? Freddy Fresh. His dad owned a trophy shop and Freddy gave them the plaque during one of his yearly New York pilgrimages.

But Freddy would soon find himself gravitating towards other genres, too, like house and techno. From that Decoded interview:

I sent demos to Strictly Rhythm [top tier New York-based house label] and various labels and was always rejected. It was years later that labels like Adrenalin and Experimental stood up and took me under their wings. My first techno 12 inch was on Experimental, under my Modulator name. Maximum Pulse / Timmy's Trance in 1992, that got me into the techno scene and also got me my first international DJ gig in Paris 1993 where I played with Jeff Mills, Joey Beltram and Damon Wild... Damon Wild was the man mainly responsible for my early techno career, God Bless Him.

Freddy Fresh then became a big German techno guy. He played sets at Tresor in Berlin (the techno club of techno clubs) and released records on the legendary Frankfurt-based label, Harthouse.

However, a new current started to emerge in the UK in the mid-90s called big beat, which appeared to match with Freddy Fresh's own hip hop sensibilities. It was a strain of dance music that fused together sampled soul, funk, jazz, and rock breaks, which, along with disco, is what hip hop producers largely used to make their own beats. And when those breaks were properly combined with contemporary electronic sounds, like, for example, Roland TB-303 acid squelches, it yielded a newfangled and fun brand of BIG and brash dance tunes. Norman Cook, better known as Fatboy Slim, would emerge as the genre's rightful king, with his uniquely liberal use of bouncy and surf-twangy 50s and 60s guitar samples. And although Freddy Fresh was still an absurdly prolific techno producer in 1996, his Harthouse album, Accidentally Classic, along with a couple Harthouse 12-inches that were licensed from his own Butterbeat label, saw him trying his hand at the big beat sound, which would eventually lead to him teaming up with Norman Cook in 1998.

A March 2020 profile in Mixmag has more:

While he may have been known in France for techno releases on his Analog label, it was Freddy Fresh's releases on Butterbeat that caught the ears of Norman Cook in Brighton. He was an avid supporter of Fresh's perky updates on the hip hop sound, and that's what brought him over to the British seaside. "I got invited to play the Big Beat Boutique. That's when I first met [Cook] and then he ends up sampling my voice [for 'Fucking in Heaven'], then we worked on 'Badder Badder Schwing' together. I loved Norman because he was authentic. He did everything himself. I was like, 'this fucking guy's just like me!'. He collects breakbeats, he's an amazing DJ, he knows how to put shit together and he knows how to run 303s - and Roland 303s are really hard to program.

That co-production with Cook, "Badder Badder Schwing," would originally appear on Freddy Fresh's album, The Last True Family Man, before being released as a single the following year. The single would then turn into an unexpected British hit, earning the mostly techno producer some well-deserved commercial appeal by reaching #34 in the UK charts. "Badder Badder Schwing" can also be heard in 2002's Austin Powers in Goldmember, although it didn't end up being included on the commercially released official soundtrack.

Dipping into that Decoded interview once again for a tad more backstory to "Badder Badder Schwing":

I did have 90% of that track finished when Norman joined in and took it from a 7 to a 10 with his sheer genius.

By sampling a bunch of 60s songs, including horns and drums from Helen Reddy's "One Way Ticket," vocals and hand claps from The Routers' "Let's Go (Pony)," and more drums from Tommy Roe's "Sweet Pea," Freddy Fresh and Norman Cook were able to cobble together a fantastic piece of late 90s, dancefloor-igniting big beat. However, it would be interesting to know which 90% of the track Freddy Fresh had finished before passing it off to Cook, because the whole thing really sounds like a Fatboy Slim track from start to finish. And that's not to discredit Freddy in any way, because despite what dance music's detractors might think, it's not an easy task to make a good dance tune. But the entirety of "Badder Badder Schwing" appears to have Cook's fingerprints all over it, from his glitching, jammed-up, calling card stutters, to the way the combined horn and drum sampling sounds, to the brief, guitar-sampled detour, to the eerie and overdriven background yowling. The song's main riff is when those Helen Reddy horns play, and you'd have to assume that was part of Freddy's contribution, since according to him, the song was virtually done before he let Cook put on the finishing touches. But still, that part sounds like something Fatboy Slim would make, doesn't it? 🤷‍♂️ 🧐🤔

Then again, Freddy Fresh did say about Cook in that recent Mixmag profile, "the fucking guy's just like me!" so maybe they were on the same exact letter within the same exact word on the same exact page in 1998. In the end, it doesn't really matter all that much. Big beat's passed us by, but throw this on at a party (when we're allowed to party again, of course) and it's guaranteed to still go.

Check out the music video, too, which features a kid magician doing a series of tricks:

youtube

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jungleindierock · 8 years ago

Video

youtube

Kasabian - Bless This Acid House

Kasabian perform Bless This Acid House on Later… with Jools Holland, BBC Two (11th April 2017)

#Bless This Acid House #Kasabian #UK #new music #new video #live video #later with jools holland #indie #indie rock #rock #indie pop #pop #Rebjukebox

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midnightiscoming-kasabian · 6 years ago

Photo

Kasabian - Bless This Acid House Photos: Ali Tollervey

#kasabian #bless this acid house #bless this acid house video #tom meighan #sergio pizzorno #chris edwards

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kasabian-empire · 7 years ago

Video

vimeo

Bless This Acid House (behind the scenes)

#kasabian #bless this acid house #video #behind the scenes

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isthereaproblemofficer2 · 5 years ago

Video

youtube

Kasabian - Bless This Acid House (Official Video)

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emmyrosee · 5 years ago

Text

Love Regardless (Fluff)

I don’t think I’ve ever been more scared to post a piece of fanfiction? But for once, it’s not because of how bad it is (don’t get me wrong- it’s still not good, and it’s extremely fast paced, SOMEONE TEACH ME HOW TO PACE!) as much as it is for offending people and having the wrong information. I do understand that for some, they’re on one side of the asexuality spectrum, and others are in other areas. This is just the closest to a broad spectrum that I could achieve with the resources I had (including some irl homies and @whoviancumberbunny. Thank Ya Baby!) Speaking of, @whoviancumberbunny, thank you so much for the idea and the experience that you graciously shared with me. Without either, this would have never come to be!💕💕💕

In addition, in honor of pride month, I tried to keep this non-gender specific. I don’t know how I did with that, but let me know if you enjoyed

I hope you all enjoy!

Warnings: Language, suggestive themes, Jim’s friends are fairly uncensored (and also direct quotes from my personal life), and I mean NO OFFENSE to anyone on the asexual spectrum. I just wanted to keep it fairly wide to everyone.

Jim Mason x (non gender-specific)Asexual!Reader: after being Jim’s friend for a while, you two finally go on a sweet date, and to no one’s surprise, Jim’s nothing but a gentleman... right?

To have pride in yourself is something most would murder to have. Blessed by wonderful friends who loved you for you, not your body count, you were able to have that pride. You knew who and what you were- you were asexual. And you, along with your friends, knew that there was nothing wrong with it. There was nothing wrong with the fact that you got uncomfortable when discussing sex, or having sex. But for some reason, every time you’d told a potential relationship about it, they shined away from you like you had a disease and snuck out of quarantine.

High school romance seemed like a stupid thing to want anyway, especially if people could be this immature about your comfort and identity.

But then there’s Jim.

In every sense of the word, Jim is perfect- great smile, stunning blue eyes, the talent to do almost everything that most people would murder for, and the understanding from a person that everyone desired from a friend.

The small flaws that Jim harbored were common among teens in Palos Verdes, and you felt like you couldn’t blame him for that. You two have been friends for a while, playfully flirting and hanging out after school with his stupid, faded friends.

Which in of itself was fine.

But it wasn’t until they started talking about you behind your back to Jim, asking him the most obscure and disgusting questions that you weren’t even sure you could think of.

“So Jim, how long till you demolish that sweet ass?”

“Bet it’s fuckin’ hot when y/n comes. You gotta send me a video, dude.”

“Man, I gotta say, if they like your scrawny little dick inside of them, give ‘em five minutes with me, you’ll be old news, boy.”

“I know this is kinda fucked up but, you think y/n would ever fuck around with a chick?”

Disgusting.

Thankfully, Jim would tell you about all the shit they were saying, and you genuinely believe him when he says he’s never answered those questions.

Which is exactly why you agreed to a date with Jim.

He never seemed like the kind of guy to use his friendship with you against you.

He cares way too much about you and your feelings, he would never try anything stupid or funny in front of you.

After a sweet date with the surfer which included dinner, Jim decided to take you back to your house like you’d expect him to do. The idea of a movie began floating around the car, and as you approached home, you two decided to let that idea become a reality.

He pulls into your driveway and parks crooked, as you expected (and constantly tease him for) before walking hand in hand into your house.

“Would you like to go upstairs?” You offer, swinging his hand back and forth. “We could just watch a movie in there.”

Jim smiles, bringing your knuckles to his lips and placing a gentle kiss to them, “sure. I’ll grab a movie, you pop some popcorn?”

“Sure thing,” you agree, kissing his cheek.

The movie Jim picked wasn’t exactly the most exciting thing in the world. It was hard to follow, no interesting actors, and you swear on your life that between yours and Jim’s questions, you’d talked more than the characters in the film.

After one of your particularly funny questions, Jim looked over at you with nothing but pure love and admiration in his eyes.

“Can I... kiss you?” He asks shyly. Giggling, you nod, and within seconds your lips are locked together in a sweet, gentle kiss. Just as you suspected, Jim did nothing funny, simply enjoying the small kiss as much as he can.

Then again, the trailing of his hand down your back, a little lower than you’d expect makes a strange signal go off.

Hm.

And then the way his tongue grazes across your lower lip, you allow, but you aren’t sure where he’s going with this.

“Jim,” you pant from the kiss.

Jim’s lips travel down your neck and face, sucking on your neck to arouse hickeys.

“Fuck, I want you so bad, baby,” he hissed, continuing to cover you in bites and kisses.

So that’s what he wanted.

Slowly, you feel yourself tense under his touch. You didn’t answer, and suddenly Jim felt like this... stranger.

It wasn’t until his long fingers reached for the waistband of your pants that you knew you had to put a stop to this.

“W-Wait Jim,” you whisper, pushing him off of you gently. He pulled pack, eyes wide with worry. “I... want to stop.”

“I-I’m so sorry, I thought you wanted that,” Jim said, eyeing the darkening mark on your neck.

You sigh, “I’m sorry, I should’ve been more clear.”

“Oh, God I’m so sorry, Y/N, I didn’t mean to do anything you didn’t want,” Jim says, body language becoming more sporadic and unpredictable.

“Jim,” you say gently, “relax. It’s not that deep, it’s just that I...” You paused to think of the right words. “I didn’t want it, but I did, does that make sense?”

Jim eyes you, confused, tilting his head like a lost puppy. You let out a quiet laugh, not even sure if you understood what you meant. “Jim, I’m asexual. And I understand if you’d like to leave.”

The silence in the room makes your heart break, the acidic feeling of sadness filling your stomach.

After a long pause, Jim slowly smiles. He laces his fingers with yours on the bed, “I don’t mind.”

The feeling of dread and emptiness is gone. Your heart kicks back into overdrive. “I...What?” You ask. Jim leans forward to kiss your forehead gently, “I don’t mind. I’d like to stay with you, if you’ll let me.”

You tilt your head, “Jim, I don’t like sex. Seeing and talking about it makes me uncomfortable.”

“I know,” he said, matching your head tilt with his own. “I understand. And if you’d like me to, I want to stay.”

“What about all that stuff that you and your friends talk about? Like, I don’t want them to give you crap about it-“

“What you and I do or don’t do is none of my friends’ concerns,” Jim assures, brushing the hair out of your face. “It never was, and it never will be.”

You aren’t exactly sure of what came over you. But the next thing you know, you’re being cradled in Jim’s arms while tiny droplets of your tears drip on his arms and through his jacket. You don’t exactly know why. The only assumption is that he understands what you’re feeling and what you mean, whereas you’ve convinced yourself that he would be ignorant about how you felt.

“You really think this could work?” You whimper, not looking up at him. Your cheek is pressed against his warm chest, and his thumb pets your temple back and forth soothingly.

You feel him nod, “Yeah,” he whispers. “I do. But only if you want to. We can do this. He placed a gentle kiss into your hair as he holds you, letting you get comfortable with him. Slowly, you feel you two falling back onto the bed, and once you hit the mattress, your laughter dances together between the small walls, dominating the prior tenseness in the room with its silly, loving aura.

He pulls away from the embrace to smile at you, thumb wiping at your tear tracks. You grab his wrist gently, holding his large hand to your face. And you couldn’t help but blush when he stayed, smiling and staring at you.

You aren’t quite sure what time you fell asleep, but when you woke up, the discarded sweatshirt from earlier was laid across your body. The bright red numbers on your alarm clock read a staggering 3:24 AM, and you yawned as you sat up. Scooting up to your pillow, a piece of paper crinkled under your hand, and your stomach twisted and fluttered from the contents.

Had a wonderful time. We’ll figure this out.

Together.

Jimmy

Next to his name was a crudely drawn heart as yours couldn’t even begin to slow down its rapid pounding in your chest.

Taglist💕

@whoviancumberbunny @sojournmichael @peachesandfern @avesatanormalpeoplescareme @rosegoldrichie @hecohansen31 @ticklish-leafy-plant @wroteclassicaly @your-daddy-langdon @souriemickey @avesxtxnas

#jim mason #Jim mason fluff #jim mason x reader #jim mason x asexual!reader #jim mason x asexual!fem!reader #jim mason x fem!reader #jim mason x asexual!male!reader #jim mason x male!reader #jim mason x fem!reader fluff #jim mason x male!reader fluff #jim mason the tribes of palos verdes #the tribes of palos verdes #the tribes of palos verdes fluff #ttopv

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mjrjolt · 5 years ago

Text

Dropping Acid for Jesus. Are you kidding me??!!

DeVo 113: Dropping Acid for Jesus? Are you kidding me??!!

In his book, “God's Forever Family: The Jesus People Movement in America” by Larry Eskridge chronicles a move of God’s Spirit upon the counter-cultural hippie movement and evangelical Christianity. It first appeared in the summer of 1967 up in the Haight-Ashbury district of San Francisco. The book argues that this was one of the most important moves of God’s spirit during the 20th Century and I’d have to agree. I was part of that movement, and there were Christian coffeehouses in every decent sized town across the U.S. and around the world. From 1970 to 1972, I was the artist for a newspaper (The Hollywood Free Paper) which we put together near the corner of Hollywood and Vine in Hollywood, CA. For those of us living in Southern California, we chart the beginning of the Jesus Movement in So. California beginning with a march of 10,000 for Jesus down Hollywood Blvd on Dec. 12, 1969, where we ended up at Hollywood High where we had a Jesus concert.

In his excellent book which in my estimate & recollection, is very accurate—Larry Eskridge gets his facts straight on just about everything. Larry writes about a young hippie couple, the Dopps, who embarked on their new found odyssey with Jesus, they were hanging out with their friends, dropping LSD and leading others to Jesus. Steve Heffner, a DJ on one of San Francisco’s rock stations, visited Ted Wise and quizzed him as to what he was up to. Wise whispered to him, “Jesus Christ, man….He’s gathering his church in this period and a lot of people are going to be coming to the Lord…that’s what’s happening, man.” With that, Wise shepherded Steve Heffner on his first acid trip. Afterward, he recalled that it was immediately after coming off the acid that he had seen the light:

“All I know is that when I took LSD, I was a seeker, and when I woke up the next morning, I was a Christian!”

Now, this is the place in the story where some of you reading this are saying, “That’s not God. God wouldn’t do that.” And that’s my point, why not? Why can’t God bring someone to know Him while they are on an acid trip. And, I’m not advocating drugs. I’ve never used drugs, but I do find Sudafed helpful to keep me awake at times.

Here’s the thing--these early believers in the Jesus Movement in San Francisco and elsewhere eventually stopped using drugs as they grew and matured in their relationship with Jesus. They all can point to the day and time when the Spirit of God convicted them that their drug use was a crutch and a poor substitute, getting in the way of their witness and becoming a stumbling block to others.

As someone once said to me, “When we come to God, He cleans our ‘house’ one room at a time.” Eventually, God got to the room where they kept their drugs and cleaned that out, but He did so in His own good time. Were they still saved, while doing LSD? Of course they were. Does God’s grace not extend to and beyond the use of LSD, or alcohol, or whatever? Of course it does!

As I read this, I thought of all the ways that we “box God in.” We ALL put God in a box, saying or believing that He can’t do this or won’t do that. We LIMIT God and what He will do to bring others to the knowledge of Him, or what He will do in our daily lives to show us that He is the strong and mighty God, the Creator of the Universe.

Are you limiting God, or boxing in Him, in your own life, or in the lives of others. It’s such an easy thing to do. Especially if you hang around with religious people who want you to act and dress and speak a certain way, and they’ll probably say that you aren’t saved if you’re not reading the King James version of the Bible. There are so many religious people who want to make you as miserable as they are. Sadly, many of them are missing out on the joy of serving Jesus.

If you are new to the faith, chances are, you’ve still got stuff in your life that needs to be cleaned up—actually, you could be one who’s been a Christian for 20 yrs and you still have stuff that God is dealing with about, and maybe that you need to repent of…but God comes into our lives and He cleans house one room at a time.

So, your assignment is to get into the Bible, reading it, devouring it daily….and pray and talk to God and listen for what He is saying to you. He will direct your steps and you don’t have to be perfect for God to use you. In fact, just as the Dopps there in San Francisco were dropping acid, God was using them to lead their friends to a relationship with God. And after a while, they realized that they didn’t need the acid, and that it was really a crutch in their lives. They ditched the acid with God’s help.

When it comes to reading the Bible, as I’ve said before, if you don’t know where to start—begin in Genesis at the very beginning just like you would with any book. Get yourself a good Bible with a commentary like the Life Application Bible which has commentary on every page to help you understand what you’re reading. Also, watch my video series, “Firm Foundation Bitesize” which will help you to see and understand the Bible as one book, one story from Genesis to Revelation, with charts, pictures and videos to help you to stay focused on each lesson. The 1st two videos are on Introduction to the Bible and why you need to begin with Genesis. So, check out my Firm Foundation Bitesize series on YouTube. Just go to the YouTube search bar and type in: Firm Foundation Bitesize, and all my videos will pop up.

What’s the take away for today? Don’t box God in—in your own life or in the life of another person. Allow God to be the great and mighty God that He is. The Apostle Paul writes in Ephesians 3:20-21 (ESV) 20 Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, 21 to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen.

God can and will do more than we could ever imagine. Trust Him, lean on Him, dare to believe that He can transform your life and make all things new in your life and the lives of others. Let God do the housecleaning in your life, one room at a time, and just worry about yourself…don’t take it upon yourself to try to clean up someone else’s life. Leave that up to God…just concern yourself with doing what God tells you to do and you’ll begin to see God do amazing things both in and through your life.

Let’s pray:

Dear Lord,

I want to trust you to do exceedingly more than I could even ask or think…and whatever it is that you are limiting God and don’t think that God can do anything, or change anything, ask Him with now. Maybe it’s a financial situation or a medical issue or something where you’ve looked to the wisdom and skill of man rather than God…whatever it is where you’ve been boxing God in and not allowing Him to be the great and mighty God that He is, El Shaddai, The Lord God Almighty, ask Him to do it right now…to do that which far more than you could ever ask or think. Ask Him, right now. And then, believe that His is able, because He is the Almighty God who delights in blessing and meeting the needs of His children. And then, thank-Him…for what He’s going to do.

We thank-you Lord because you are the Great and Mighty God and because You loved us, You saved us and You care about every detail of our lives.

In Jesus’ name,

Amen

BTW, I’ve posted some pictures from the Jesus Movement period at my podcast website, dalesdevos.weebly.com. Also some links where you can read up on the history of the Jesus Movement. Go to the Important Stuff tab and scroll down to today’s devo #113, and you see the links to some of the pictures. I’ve also posted much of this info at the Where Is God When Life Sucks Facebook page. So, check ‘em out.

You can subscribe to the podcast “Where Is God When Life Sucks” at iTunes as well as on Google Play Music, Podbean, Castbox, Stitcher and Spotify—and now available on iHeart Radio, thru the iHeart Radio app. You can go to my podcast homebase at mjrjolt.podbean.com where all my podcasts will pop up.

You've been listening to "Where Is God When Life Sucks," Devo No. 113—Devos drop twice weekly. The next Devo drops this coming Friday. Have a great week, and I’ll join you again, this Friday. Until then,

Shalom.

#Jesus People #Jesus Movement #Hippies #counter-culture #LSD #Firm Foundation Bitesize

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dovechim · 6 years ago

Text

heightened secrecy (m)

➾ 4k

➾ warnings: sex toys (squirting dildo), tiny bit of degradation/ name calling, lots of cum, unprotected sex, sloppy seconds, praise kink

➾ an unofficial part 2 to clone a willy, continuing my legacy of strange sex toys found on Amazon 🙃

The first thing you do when you get the mail that evening is to hightail it into your room, citing the excuse of being on your period and leaving Jimin at the table still in the middle of his dinner.

Your own dinner is left hastily unfinished, but that’s the least of your worries as you lock the door securely behind you, fingers tearing apart the brown packaging. When your blunt fingernails scrape against the secure cardboard, you enlist the help of a penknife to free your treasure from its depths, a bubble of elation rising in your chest.

It looks pretty much like a normal dildo, except there’s tubing concealed in the balls at the base, running through the entire length of it and leading to a squeezable bulb at the other end, presumably for the user to control as they please. The shaft itself is a pleasant thickness that you can already feel the stretch of against your walls, and although no match for Jimin’s monstrous girth, it definitely manages to triumph him in its length.

Oh, Jimin wouldn’t let you live it down if he found out about this. In more ways than one.

There’s a reason why you want to keep this to yourself just for a little while, let yourself enjoy it in the pleasure of your own company before succumbing yourself to his teasing smirks. And let’s face it, you keeping this from him is more for his own good than anything else. You run your fingers over the coveted length of the silicone, your mouth already watering. Jimin may deny it, but he is far more acquainted with the green eyed monster than he would like to admit especially when it comes to things like this.

But it’s all for good fun, right?

You take the toy to the attached bathroom, making sure that you clean it properly, along with its attached tubing. As your hand fits over its girth and length, you’re already dying to feel it down your throat, slicking it up as your core throbs insistently.

A knock at your bedroom door interrupts your fantasies.

“____? You okay in there?” Jimin’s concerned voice sounds from outside, and you hastily shut off the water, reaching for a few tissues as you step out of the bathroom.

“’’m fine, just need to lie down a while,” your voice wavers a little with nervousness, but Jimin seems to believe it.

“Alright,” he says, and you listen closely as his footsteps carry him away from the door.

You sag in relief, reaching for the remains of the package to feel around for what should be a jar of artificial cum that comes with the squirting dildo, only to come up empty. Despair rises in your throat as you tear the remaining package to bits, but either they forgot to ship it to you, or Amazon is a fucking liar once again.

Shoving the packaging away from you in frustration, all thoughts of a pleasant evening going down the drain just because of some idiot’s inability to follow packaging instructions. How the fuck are you supposed to properly enjoy a squirting dildo without fake cum to go along with it?

This is the last time you’re buying a dildo from Amazon.

You tuck it away securely in the back of your drawer which you keep under lock and key, one that Jimin doesn’t know about before you clean up the packaging and unlock the door, peeking outside only to see Jimin immersed in one of his many video games.

He barely spares you a glance as you sneakily dispose of the packaging in the trash, and he doesn’t sense anything to be amiss. You drop a quick kiss on his cheek, telling him not to stay up too late before going back to bed.

Jimin waits till you’re out the door the next day, the smell of muffins still lingering in the house. It’s only then that he makes his way to your shared bedroom, kneeling down at the one very specific drawer you think he doesn’t know about.

Of course, it’s locked, and the key is nowhere to be found. But Jimin has more up his sleeve, and he won’t be deterred this easily. He spies one of your many stray bobby pins that litter literally the entire house on the floor nearby (what he considers to be the bane of his existence up to this very moment), and uses its rounded tip to pick the lock, and in the blink of an eye, the drawer and its contents lay bare before him.

He spots what you’re hiding from him almost immediately, hands digging right to the back of the drawer and pulling out the thick silicone length. You’re way too predictable, but it’s also because he knows you like the back of his hand. Jimin closes his grip around the thick length, jealousy burning in the back of his throat like acid as he considers how monstrous this dildo is compared to himself. He knows he’s not blessed much in the length department, but he prides himself on always making you whine when he stretches you out on that first delicious thrust into your sweet pussy.

But just as he reaches to replace the toy back into the drawer, something detaches from the bottom of it. It’s a length of transparent tubing with a squeezable bulb at the end of it, and Jimin pauses, rolling the bulb in his palm as he tries to figure out what it could possibly be used for. When he squeezes the bulb hard, a gush of air rushes out from the head of the dildo, startling him.

As soon as he gets over his shock, with it comes an intense arousal as he feels blood rush downwards at the thought of you shoving the length deep inside you, pressing hard on the bulb at the same time in order to feel the cum shoot up your passage and into your womb. And then he can’t help but let his hands slide down his tensed abdomen to palm himself roughly over his sweats just the way he likes it.

Jimin pushes the waistband of his sweats down impatiently, wrapping a hand around his base to start pumping as he drops the silicone dildo to the floor in favour of cupping his balls. Pre cum starts to leak from his tip as he pants heavily, throwing his head back against the foot of the bed. He has in his mind’s eye countless images of you spread out on his bed, thighs wide apart and pussy dripping for him, desperate whines and moans spilling from your lips as you beg for his tongue and cock.

And then warm ropes of cum are all over his bare chest and abdomen, his thighs spread apart wide as he savours the vestiges of his orgasm, milking his cock for the last of his pleasure that now coats his skin. Jimin sits back against the bed, breathing heavily.

But as he pushes himself into a sitting position to clean himself up, he brushes against the silicone dildo that lies forgotten beside him. Jimin glances from the dildo to the mess on his stomach, an idea forming in his head as to just how he intends on teaching you a lesson. He grabs the silicone dildo as he gathers the thick globs of cum on his stomach and abdomen into his palm before it begins to dry.

When he squeezes the base of the dildo, it produces a sucking motion that draws air in from the other side, so when he dips the head of the dildo into his cum filled palm, it sucks his semen up into the tubes concealed within its length. It takes a few squeezes before he manages to get all his cum inside the dildo, but he’s not done yet.

Jimin grabs the dildo, pushing himself up on his feet with the assistance of the bed as he heads for his study room, booting up his computer and ditching his sweatpants altogether. As he props himself on his desk chair, spreading his thick thighs, he feels himself begin to harden once more, arousal spreading through his abdomen as he calls up his favourite porn websites, palming his length once more with the dildo ready beside him.

It was going to be a long afternoon.

When you come home from work again that evening, Jimin is waiting for you at the dining table, still clad in his white shirt and grey sweats from that morning, and immediately you tense up. You’d forgotten that he had a day off today, and expecting that he would be home late again, as usual, you’d gone to your favourite sex shop and purchased a bottle of specialised lube made to look and feel like cum. The one Amazon should have sent you with your purchase if not for their fuck up.

Now, you hide the black plastic bag behind your thigh as you greet Jimin hesitantly.

“H-hi baby, did you take the day off today? You’re home early,” you comment, wondering if you can surreptitiously slip into the bedroom to hide your purchase before he can notice.

But Jimin’s sharp eyes immediately take in what’s in your hands, and he greets you back with a wordless smile. A smile that sends shivers up your spine as he lets his eyes travel the length of your body lasciviously before stopping on your lips.

“Yeah, just felt like a day off today.” Jimin answers simply before pushing himself out of his seat, walking towards you and circling his arm around your waist, turning you toward the bedroom. “Why don’t you go take a shower and relax?”

“U-um, okay,” you let him usher you into the bedroom, relaxing a little at the feeling of his hands on you.

But your blood freezes in your veins, your vision blurs, as you spot the flesh coloured object on your bedside table.

Jimin’s breath is on your neck, his plush lips teasing you with feather like touches. “You’re such a little minx, babygirl. Is my dick not enough for you?”

“N-no, Jimin, it’s not like that, baby please-“

“Shut up, I don’t want to hear it,” Jimin growls low in his throat, and your words die on your tongue immediately. Pleased with your obedience, Jimin lets his hands skim down your sides, one wrapping around the curve of your waist and the other palming your ass generously.

Just as you’re caught off guard by his sensuous touches, Jimin grasps the black bag in your hand, wrenching it away from you and reaching inside.

“Is this why you couldn’t use it yesterday? Because you didn’t have this?” Jimin inspects the bottle closely, but you don’t dare to speak without his permission. “Answer me, little minx.”

“Y-yes.”

“Well, who am I to deny my babygirl? You must have been waiting to come back home and load up that dildo with cum, slide it into your precious little pink pussy and fuck yourself senseless, hmm? Were you dripping wet at work today? I bet you were, only sluts like you need a pussy full of cum before they can function.” Jimin releases you, giving you a little push toward the bathroom. “Undress and wait in the shower for me.”

His order sends a jolt straight down to your core as you rush to comply.

Your fingers are shaky, reaching back to unzip your dress. Jimin tugs the zip down the rest of the way for you, sliding your dress off your curves. There is a sharp intake of breath when your scarlet lace bra- his favourite- is revealed to his gaze, and a low curse under his breath when you bend over in front of him, sliding the matching panties off.

A sharp spank to your left cheek reminds you who is really in charge here, and a fond brush of his fingertips against your waist, along with his lingering eyes on your body gives you the confidence to step past him into the shower.

You can hear him uncapping the lube outside the bathroom, and you assume he’s filling up your dildo with the fake cum you’d just bought. Occupying yourself with letting your hands wander down your body, a blush heats up your cheeks when you realise that Jimin is right, your core is dripping already. If you were to inspect the crotch of your panties, you’d bet that it would be stained with your arousal as well.

But there’s no need to wonder, because Jimin steps into the bathroom with the crotch of your panties pressed to his nose, inhaling your scent like a man starved. He has shed his sweats and shirt, allowing you to admire the way his abdomen tenses with every breath he takes, the v cuts on his hips leading your gaze to his already hard cock, leaking with pre cum. His other hand places the dildo on the sink counter, dropping your panties to the floor as he favours the source of the scent that he craves- kneeling at your feet and guiding a thigh over his shoulder.

He smiles sweetly up at you between your thighs- a wolf in sheep’s clothing- as he presses a kiss to the soft flesh of your inner thigh.

“Spread yourself for me, let me see how wet you are. How pretty you look inside.”

Your fingers find your lips, trembling as you spread yourself wide for his viewing pleasure, feeling his breath ghosting your clit.

“That’s it princess,” Jimin rewards you with a kitten lick before delving in, sucking and licking at your core, with his tongue probing your cunt deep.

You writhe under his touch, his palms coming up to grip your hips with an iron strength to keep you in place. Jimin sucks your clit harshly, letting one of his hands leave your hips to bury two fingers in your cunt, stroking your walls deftly as he feels you clench around him. Your whines and mewls are music to his ears, chest heaving as he brings you closer to an orgasm, cheeks shining with your arousal as he flicks your clit with the sharp point of his tongue, sending you over the edge.

Heat singes every single nerve ending as you arch against him, Jimin helping you to ride out your orgasm with kitten licks and sucks, thrusting his fingers inside you until you tug on his hair lightly. He pulls away then, licking his lips and glancing up at your fucked out expression.

When he stands, you seek out his lips with a needy whine, tasting yourself on him. Jimin chuckles against your lips, and you feel his lips curve against yours.

“Such a needy little minx,” he whispers against the corner of your mouth.

You can feel his cock against your belly, and your mouth waters, already sinking to your knees. But Jimin stops you with a harsh grip around your waist.

“Only good girls get to suck my cock,” Jimin’s punishing grip turns you around, cheek to the tile of the bathroom wall as he gropes your ass hard, spanking it and watching your flesh jiggle. “You wanted to use your dildo? You’ll get it alright.”

Jimin leaves for a second, but the next moment you feel the head of the dildo probing your soaked folds as he demands you to spread your thighs for him and arch your back.

“You’re so wet, I bet you could take this dildo without any lube, hmm? Or d’you want that lube you just bought today?”

“N-no, I can take it,” you gasp as he pushes the head just past your entrance.

“Such a pretty little slut,” Jimin breathes against your ear as he slides the rest of the toy into you, the stretch burning.

You’re not used to taking so much length, since Jimin is shorter than the dildo, and you whine when he reaches the halfway point. “Ji-jimin, too much, it hurts-“

“Shhh, you’ll take all of it, just relax, princess. You wanted this, remember? Wanted a longer dick than mine, that’s why you bought this, didn’t you?” Jimin soothes you with his lips on your shoulder, even as he doesn’t let up pushing the length further inside you. “Take it, like a pretty slut should.”

Inch by inch, Jimin coaxes you to take the entire length, you feel his fingertips against you as the base of the dildo rests between your lower lips.

“Good girl, that’s my good girl,” Jimin traces the shell of your ear with the tip of his tongue. And then he draws it back out, the friction against your walls making your breath rattle in your chest as he makes sure you can feel every single inch.

He wraps an arm around your waist tightly, keeping you flush against him so that you can feel his cock against your ass cheeks even as he pounds the dildo into your cunt. Jimin is careful not to place too much pressure against the base of the dildo so that it doesn’t leak into you before he’s ready. The sight of your pussy spread around the thick dildo has him mesmerized.

Your head is back on his shoulder, moaning incoherently as he fucks you with the dildo, faster and harder than you could ever manage yourself.

“Does it feel good princess? Am I making you feel good?” As much as Jimin relishes his dominance, moments like this allow you to catch a glimpse of his endearing need for praise and acknowledgement.

“Y-yes, Jimin, so good, fuck, you’re so good,” your breathless whimpers against his neck are accompanied with your tender touches against his shoulders.

“Does it feel better than my cock?”

Your fingers tighten around his biceps as he gives a particularly hard thrust. There is a brief catch in his voice that tells you he’s a little affected by your secrecy surrounding the dildo, not that he would ever admit it. But reassuring him and displacing his insecurities is your job as his lover, no matter how unfounded they are. “N-no, Jimin, I didn’t mean it like that, I-

You turn around to face him, his grip slipping from the dildo still embedded inside you. Wrapping a hand around his cock, you give it a few pumps, maintaining eye contact with him. “This is the only cock I’ll ever crave.”

His eyes linger on yours for a few moments, taking in the sincerity of your words as you pull him in for a deep seated kiss that leaves him breathless. “You are the only one I’ll ever want.”

Jimin’s plush lips are even more swollen as they spread into a grin. “Consider me the luckiest man on Earth then.”

And then warmth erupts inside you, wetness coating your walls as Jimin squeezes hard on the base of the dildo, flooding your pussy. Jimin buries the dildo deep into your cunt, and you can feel every surge as the lube travels up your sensitive channel, causing you to clench your sensitive walls around it as a second orgasm washes over you. Jimin continues to thrust the dildo in and out, helping to prolong your pleasure, and the unique sensation of the dildo squirting inside you takes your breath away. The head and length of the dildo is smeared with white as it leaves your pussy, forcing lube out of you, and then deeper inside you, as Jimin plunges it back in, continuing to squeeze on the seemingly endless reservoir of lube. When the head is bottomed out right against your womb, you can feel the head of it spewing against the most intimate parts of you. But then, Jimin draws the dildo out till only the head is buried inside you, giving another squeeze as the both of you watch the white, thick globs leak out of you. You gasp and cling on to his shoulders in response even as Jimin grins cockily.

“Oops, looks like I just came inside you.”

You hit his chest in reprimand, feeling the thick liquid dribble down your inner thighs, creating a whole mess that only serves to turn you on even more. The feeling of the lube leaking from you feels incredibly realistic, and as you reach down to run your fingers through the mess coating your inner thighs, bringing it up to your nose for a sniff, you freeze.

It smells familiar. Almost like… real cum.

Jimin watches as you come to your realisation with a smirk on his lips.

“Fuck, Jimin, this isn’t lube… how?”

“Spent the entire afternoon loading that dildo for you, princess.” Jimin gives a last squeeze to make sure the dildo’s balls are emptied. The last few weak dribbles of cum emerge from the head. “You’d better appreciate it; I think my balls are quite literally empty right now.”

Even as he says it, his hard cock nudges at your cum drenched lips, reminding you that he still needs to be taken care of.

“You’re such a- fuck- jerk,” you gasp as he pushes in deep. The feeling of his cock gliding past your cum slick lips is like nothing else, and you both groan as he sinks in balls deep.

“Shit, I fucking love sloppy seconds,” Jimin pants into your neck at the feeling of the wetness of your pussy engulfing him, cum leaking out around his cock as he pulls out only to thrust back in. “So fucking filthy, only for me, right?”

“O-only for you, for your cock,” you affirm, grasping his shoulders as you take the brutal fucking he dishes out.

He pounds into you hard, relishing your moans as you fight off oversensitivity just to allow him to reach his high. Jimin sinks his fingers into your waist, pulling you onto him as he snaps his hips up, and by now the both of you are such a mess, cum coating both your inner thighs.

“I’m so close, fuck,” Jimin groans as he feels your walls flutter around him.

“That’s it, wanna feel you cum inside me for real, just let go,” you coax into his ear, playing with the hair at the nape of his neck as he pins your hips to the wall, pistoning his cock in and out in a desperate reach for his own high. You reach a hand between your bodies to cup his balls, squeezing gently to mimic his earlier actions with the dildo. “Fill me up.”

“Shit, here it comes, take it all princess,” Jimin warns you with a growl, sinking his cock in deep. Ropes of his warm release flood your walls, and you can feel his balls pulsing in your palm as he fills you up to the brim. His rhythm grows sloppy as he milks out the rest of his semen, whines spilling from his sweet lips as he buries his face in your neck.

He lets the both of you sink to the ground, arms wrapped around you as you remain perched on his lap, breathing heavily.

“Were you really mad? About the dildo?” You speak first, pulling away from him slightly.

“Not really,” Jimin shrugs nonchalantly. “If I were really mad about it, I wouldn’t have been able to jerk off five times just to fill it up for you, would I?”

“Five times?” Your eyes widen in shock. “Just how much cum do you have? That should be physically impossible!”

“It was worth it,” Jimin grins, fingers grazing over the underside of your breasts. “Better than store bought lube any day.”

“What if I hadn’t been on birth control? You’d be in serious trouble then,” you pinch his nipple in retaliation, and he flinches, a teasing grin on his lips.

“All the better then,” the darkening of his eyes is subtle, but serves to reignite the hunger in your lower belly. “Some dildo you bought. Maybe I’ll even let you use it on me some day.”

#bts #bts smut #bangtan bookclub #bangtanwriters-net #kwriterskollection #btsmaknaenet #bts park jimin #bts jimin smut

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