#bleeeh i am not happy how this turned out

[pan-magi]

Would you believe I have more thoughts on motherhood in Magi? I could wait for Mother's Day to come around again but where's the fun in that? This is the other idea I had along with the Scheherazade one.

This is a bit different lens. I want to talk about how Aladdin, Morgiana, Alibaba, and Hakuryuu react to Aum Madura trying to bewitch them and how that speaks to how they've processed not having a (good) mother.

First is Aladdin, who is the one to break out fastest. The kid never met met his mother. Don't get me wrong, I love Sheba to bits, but you can't really miss someone you never really had. He's like an adopted kid that was taken in early on and grew up in a decent environment. There is no empty void to be filled because it was filled up again since before he could remember. Ugo was avoidant and anxious to be close to Aladdin, but he was ultimately good at being there for his friends' kid.

However! Aladdin does have memories of Sheba through the rukh and Solomon's Wisdom. This is the second reason the magic ends up failing with Aladdin. He may not have met either of his parents, but he knows unquestionably that he was loved. He knows that Sheba gave everything up for him. On top of that, he is well aware that what she would have wanted for him is to live his best life, in his own way. Seeing an incarnation of her that tries to tempt him to give it all up and be a shielded little boy is the opposite of how Aladdin has come to understand his parents.

Next up is Morgiana. She's taken pretty hard at first through no fault of her own. Similar to Aladdin, she has no memories biological mother. When we see Morgiana's vision, there is no real discernable features to make out. The difference for the rest of the comparisons between them is stark. Morgiana grew up in a highly abusive environment as a slave and has no memories of what her mother was like. She could have been a wonderful mother... that Morgiana never got to meet to determine if that was the case.

She has a deep longing for a mother she never got to experience. Something to help the pain she felt all those years. The journey she is currently on is one searching for closure with going to the Dark Continent. Maybe there is a chance to find something she lost, so she could close the book and gain solace while moving forward. Morgiana is, unfortunately, one of the most vulnerable to Aum Madura. Someone seeking guidance in her life, someone who was abused and looking for comfort and answers. That active searching, and doing, is what gets Morgiana out of it. When Aladdin tells her to think of someone who passed on their wishes, she thinks of Goltas. The promise to return to her homeland and gain her closure, from her own actions and not a passing fleeting dream in a web of lies.

Alibaba gets hit pretty hard too. He's one of the two that has memories of his mother, and unlike with Hakuryuu, they are good memories. He lost her when he was young. He, Cassim, and Mariam were left on the streets alone fending for themselves at a too young age. He then met his father, and despite being the most powerful man in the land, he was the one that left them in that shit scenario. Alibaba has a hole in his heart different from Aladdin and Morgiana. He knows what he has lost. Not the idea or memory of his mother. His mother. He remembers the warm hugs, the care she gave him and her adopted children. Similar to Aladdin, he knows that what she would have wanted was for him to live to his best ability and that he is strong.

Then there is Hakuryuu. Every time I rewatch or read the story again, I wonder how obvious the Gyokuen reveal is. It does a good job on focusing Hakuryuu's grief on his brothers. Up until this point, he has avoided bringing her up at all. Morgiana, as someone who is good at reading the boy's reactions, at first thinks that his mother must have died too, and Hakuryuu has just avoided the subject. Looking back at it, I cannot go in blind. It just is so painfully obvious to me because I already know that Gyokuen is a piece of shit. I do not remember my first reaction to the episode, so I cannot say if it is only easy in hindsight.

Right, back on track. Hakuryuu, unlike anyone else, knows his mother and also despises her with a burning passion. He has dedicated his life to taking her down. He is a traumatized child ready to lash out. Because of all of this, Aum Madura's ploy backfires in the worst way. The problem with Hakuryuu is that he does not understand that people have different responses to an abusive authority figure. He knows his response is to defend himself and strike back. That is his reality. If someone hurts you then the answer is to refuse to work with them and fight back, obviously.

Hakuryuu is taken aback and a little ashamed when Morgiana tells him that she took orders under duress and for her own security. Sometimes people listen to others they may not trust or else are are forced to listen to. He does know this; Morgiana did tell him about his past as a slave. The kid needs the reality check though. His problem is Hakuryuu started to process his trauma but he's only at the point where he can acknowledge his circumstances and judges everyone else accordingly based what he would do. The pirate children who are causing a ruckus and risking their lives to protect an obvious abuser? Who would fall to that ploy? Morgiana and Alibaba remind him that sometimes kids are conditioned to listen to authority figures. (Alibaba because he loved his mother and will trust her judgment when doing stuff she asked. Morgiana from being forced to as a slave.) He's not immune from victim blaming the kids. It does not really go away when Orba confronts him later.

I don't really have a good conclusion to this. I do like my interpretation of it showing how their different maternal-related trauma manifests (either orphans or abuse). Magi comments (or at least Aum Madura does) that it's a sign the others have grown up and don't need a mother. I don't like that as much? Kids aren't suddenly adults because they've learned to be self-sufficient. It means they are tough and self-sufficient children and that's it. Hakuryuu being more caught up in his trauma, and thus does not meet that qualifications doesn't sit right with me even more. There are fucked up adults that still are dealing with their built up shit and his name is Sinbad. Needing parents or wanting to be dependent on them isn't immaturity. It doesn't really annoy me as much as this final note makes it seem, yet I might as well comment on the statement made within the story itself.

Thanks for reading.

[jajna]

Activity UPDATE

So I been getting back from art block and putting my best foot forward on most sites, mainly art related sites i feel need a proper chance again. By that I mean 1, post more art and 2, interact with others. Which I found highly rewarding before and find I STILL love even when I don’t get likes/reblogs/replies on my posts. Curious~ More of journals and expressive outlets by this point for myself. Course, I love when my posts make friends and others happy or interested xD can’t lie about that! lol But can’t take that for granted or you be disappointed. -shrug- \-(owo)-/ now...... *what do people tend to connect in posts more* ~

- Colors choice are a big one. I am not the best with pigment choices and patience slip up. When you have good color harmony people’s flock! xD - Fanart. Course, they don’t know your OC’s, Relate more to their favorite movie/book/etc. This works out great for me tho, tend to put OC’s or sona to interact with fanart characters. its great! More fun for ME! - Comics/active images. Easier to comment on then say a posing character. - Personal art. I tend to like art more when I know the artist, or at least find them funny, kind or somewhat relate to them emotionally. This is why I think personal art are extremely important. They are putting themselfs out there, connecting with their family/friends/audience despite all trolls/haters/AI and art thiefs. And If I think this are important. Then I bet. Most art lovers are the same. --------- BUT OF COURSE!!

We can’t create for others. no! well, maybe, if it’s your work and you have no choice and need income. o_o; still STiiiiiiiiiiiiiILL To protect you from art blocks and burned out!!!! - it’s important to sometimes like the idea of what you draw! Get it out there and even if nobody interacts with it’s creation, you, are happy its out. create for yourself. /^ U^/ When in an art block I rather sketch faces of all my OC’s, it’s relaxing. no rules about having to look good, surprising how creative one become with the I draw whatever i want mood. - Write a creative list: of things you would want to create for a blue day when the head is empty(butyoufffffSTILLwanttodraw). this goes hand in hand with the first one, but are soooooo fucking handy. ---------------

hum... thinking about all that I started ponder whyyyyyy i post stuff on the internet. like.... For me personally, - It’s mainly friends and art community!!! - I also like using these sites as journals/blogging/outlet. - and some sites are handy portfolios. ;)) not particular important for ME. but you know... people (mainly family lol) get’s curious what you are drawing. ------------------------ and after all that I want to turn to the subject of problematic interactions on the internet.... the creativity killers, trolls/haters/AI art/art thieves................. =____= I know................ better be done with this one quick. Bleeeh.... - Block if they make you uncomfortable, it’s your room. - Delete comments freely. - You don’t own them anything. ----------------------------------------------------- NOW.

Having said all this I am highly aware folks are working/going to school, rather be with family when free and the world are in a stressful position. Becomes even harder if your disabled, easily stressed and got frail income (and so much more!!!!!) Art is not your main focus. Only reason I myself can art every day and be be active online Is I made it a daily activity, to make myself happier. ^^ Because I was retired at an early age of 30. Could not keep up with today’s pressure of society because of my ADHD. Working 8 times a day, doing shores like shower/do dishes/bills/wash clothes and still have energy after for family and friends was impossible. ^^; Was lucky to have a mom who work in the health field so she noticed my difficulties just as I entering my teen years. To not mention, Sweden are one of those countries who take mental health rather seriously. Which is how I can survive without working full time and instead have meetups and the like with others like me almost every day to at least get out from the house. Daily activities or schedules are encouraged. Like going to the gym, hanging with friends an family, working on your interest.

SO YOU MIGHT SEE WHY IT’S EASIER FOR ME!! don’t beat yourself up. I can only do this because of all the support I have and, well, my own urge still wanting to contribute to society. Would not get anything done if I didn’t find art/blogging/journaling interesting. xD I dono If I ever get a proper job. If I have one It have to fit me personally rather then I fitting in a tight mold. I was so frustrated and felt trapped for years. Nowadays I accepted reality but have not abandoned my dreams. Dreams are important. Make art to make yourself happy you guys!!! <3