#blast my own flat af chest

[fallout4reacts]

Who walked in on her changing

[lana-1526]

Dream smp timestamp | Dawn of the 16th

Oh hello 

so a friend of mine just started on the mcyt fandom and isn’t that familiar with the lore and i’ve been helping him catch up and we both watched sad-ist’s newest animation and he didn’t understand but still loved it nontheless and i procastinated and didn’t want to do my school work so i made him like timestamps for the animation explaining what’s happening and what’s the context in each scene it’s under the cut and if there are any mistakes pls tell me so i can change it to the correct information pr any info that can be added/any that i missed (also he already knows the charas and a few bits of lore so there’s no explanation on who’s who) 

here’s the video by sad-ist:  “Dawn of the 16th” | Dream SMP Animation

0:00-0:04 is the talk of tommy and wilbur during exile planning the revolution 0:05-0:07 is the bench that's like the friendship place of tubbo and tommy (their special hangout place) 0:08-0:11 is the caravan ruins of the first war 0:12-0:14 is the sapnap's fish which he had to release due to some fighting with tommy 0:15-0:18 shows the castle eret made (the dream smp team's castle essentially) 0:19-0:27 shows eret (the current king at the time of the dream smp team) and dream talking about respect and backstabing, which i think is funnny cuz he was the first ever traitor of lmanbrg and became king after dream even if dream was supposed to give the crown to george 0:28-0:40 shows tubbo overlooking lmanburg (he is a known traitor to schlatt at this point in time and he's planning the revolution with tommy) and then it pans to quackity (former fiance of schlatt and new traitor to him as well) joining tubbo in overlooking lmanburg 0:40-0:47 the dialogue between eret and dream continue 0:50 shows the declaration of independance of lmanburg made by the first president (wilbur) if u look closely u can see a big SUCK IT GREEN BOY on the side cuz wil did a joke while writing it XD 0:52 shows tommy overlooking the declaration 0:53-0:55 is the founding members of lmanburg before the first war 0:56 are tommy's discs (which started the first war and the current war that takes place after the animation's timeline) which are like aa keypoint to tommys chara 0:57-0:58 - tommy gives tubbo the discs as like a sign of trust and they do this in the bench place shown earlier 1:00 shows the aftermath of the explosion seen later 1:02 is the aftermath of the fight due to the terrorism act done by technoblade 1:03 shows dream and techno side by side with tommy's voice saying "the best pvp players" and then it pans to tommy saying to tubbo that it's basically them against dream (the literal puppet master of the smp) 1:10 dream leaves the palace 1:13 shows the election stand and basically the white house of manburg (lmanburg and manburg are diff due to schlatt being the dictator of lmanburh turing it into manburg also teh structures are diff as well in per era) and then it just zooms out idk what the symbolism of the fallen chair is but i think it's the chair wilbur and tommy sat in when they got exiled 1:19 the first appearance of philza who is the canon dad of techno, wilbur, and tommy (phil's chara is shown to have wings due to his experience in mc with hard mode where he always has the elytra on and also it's always white so the raven transition seems to mean about wilbur having dark wings, i think, not really sure but it's my interpretation to it) 1:20 is where techno shows his underground bunk to pogtopia (the rebelling/revolution party) which literally has so much shit 1:21 -1:30 is the bunker with the stuff needed in a fight, each chest is filled with stacks of one item ex. one chest is full with strength pots and the other with flaming arrows 1:30-1:31 shows techno saying the most iconic line, and also shows how his chara is an anarchist (someone who doesnt like any form of government) sadist seems to like remind people that hes basically chaotic in this scene 1:31-1:32 shows pogtopia getting the loot with an easter egg of tubbo taking all the emeralds of a chest (he actually did this on stream so kudos to sadist for that little detail) 1:37 techno actually gives a powerful enchanted sword to tommy personally and then the awesomme af transition of to tommy leading the pogtopia to kill schlatt 1:42 shows dream preparing 1:43-1:47 shows the all three parties, the first is lmanburg (maburg) party with schlatt and dream takig charge, second being the pogtopia party and if u noticed wilbur is the only one not happy and the only one without armor because at this point he became insane and want to blow up lmanburg but people do not know, the lastly the neutral party which showcases badboyhalo talking about that it doesnt really matter with flames in the bg (i think this references to the egg which is seen later in the future but at this point in time the weird egg is just starting to grow with bbh tending to it which made him go crazy up until the whole skeppy thing (skepp is bbh's best friend so yea)) 1:48 is the buttonn to blow up lmanburg but wilbur hasnt pushed it yet cuz he is still trying to figjt the urge to push it 1:49-1:53 wilbur is losing his mind and is on the verge of destroying everything with his black wings showing to represent his dad which shows up on the next scene 1:54-1:55 phil shows up and wibur doesnt know what to with his dad confronting him and knowing that phil wouldnt approve and would try to stop him 1:57 shows the bridge where pogtopia is running through to get to schlatt and it's iconic due to the fact of the coinicidence it being a sunset 2:00 is the start of the fight with an explosion then the fight sequence between pogtopia and lmanburg happen to get to to schlatt 2:10 happens and u see schlatt on the ground at this point in time hes an alcholic and hes drunk and surroounded by once friends turned enemy due to his tyranny 2:18 fundy explains why he joined pogtopia to schlatt 2:22 schlatt dies losing his last canon life due to a heart attack, tbh im suprised on how sad-ist made this so serious but in teh streams he dies while saying to quackity that his ass his flat or i quote "flatty patty" 2:23 tubbo is made the new president by wilbur 2:24 everyone rejoices but technoblade cuz he joined and helped pogtopia becauase he thought that after they won there would be no more governemnt 2:25-2:45 the act of terrorism of technoblade starts with him explaining his beliefs as an anarchist, he threatens tubbo which is serious because tubbo has only one last canon life left and tommy goes to fight him to save tubbo 2:45 pogtopia fights technoblade 2:47 we go back to wilbur where the button is that will start all the tnt hidden underneath lmanburg 2:48 the fight is still going on outside and people are unaware of what wilbur is going to do 2:51 wilbur quotes the first ever traitor: eret saying "it was never meant to be" and phil is shocked and doesnt do anything to stop wilbur from hitting the button 3:02 he couldnt stop wilbur pressing the button which in turn explodes everything even half the room but phil was able to protect wilbur from the blast 3:04-3:05 teh explosion happens and disrupts the fight between techno and pogtopia 3:06 tommy's closup to his reaction of seeing the land he fought for blowing up 3:07-3:09 wilbur hands philza his sword and says to kill him but phil refuses saying that he cant kill his own son 3:11 the other;s reaction seeing phil and wilbur in the room after the explosion dies down 3:12 tubbo is in shock 3:13  dream is watching in triumph as he sees wilbur blow everything up 3:15 techno prepares the withers //also fun fact when phil killed will he finds out techno is the traitor they were warned about who will bring destruction and chaos during the earlier stages of the revolution, it isnt wilbur as he exploded everything on his own volition rather than teaming up with dream like what techno did 3:16 techno's speech starts alluding to a previous conversation he had with tommy where he warns tommy that being a hero will result in a gruesome death 3:18-3:20 different scenes pop up, the first being tommy's discs being held by someone with armor (i think its dream due to the fact he has the discs later in the timeline to threaten tommy and lmanburg), the second being someone in a lmanburg uniform (not sure if its tommy or tubbo but if its tommy it seems like it'sthe exile), 3rd is the throne room with george on the throne and dream and callahan at his side , then last is the scene of the newest members, captain puffy, connor, and ranboo joining with emphasis on ranboo as he is  important to the plot later on the sequence also shows phil holding a now deceased wilbur crying and then techno realeses the withers on everyone (withers are very difficult to kill and cause so mch chaos even if its alone and its hard to summon it as you have to farm for wither skulls which is also hard so the fact techno has enough to make two is a big deal) 3:27  shows the lmanburg tree, it is a tree that represents lmanburg and has been there for both wars and is extremely important to the history of the nation and thats that :3

[enchantedamusedslightlyconfused]

73 questions.

I was tagged by @wescoasts @machine-gun-casie (BABES)

Almost all my friends have been tagged and I don't wanna be that asshole so ill try not to be. I tag @awkwardrocker @backoftheroomandnotbelonging @trixiehoe @she-who-is-timey-wimey

On a scale of 1-10, how excited are you about life right now?

Well it’s finals week so about -864. After that I have two weeks of legitimate nothing where I will bake my heart out so we’ll see

Describe yourself in a hashtag?

#yikes #ughshesinherfeelsagain 

If you could do a love scene with anyone, who would it be?

Milo Ventimiglia, Kells, Rook.....being a music video love interest is only my life’s pipe dream 

If your life was a musical, what would the marquee say?

And that’s on daddy issues and no supervision...

What’s one thing people don’t know about you?

I used to model like went to modeling school and got paid for it type shit

What’s your wakeup ritual?

get woken up by my dog tired of hearing my alarm, walk said opinionated quadruped, feed quadruped, get dressed, COFFEE, then take life as it comes

What’s your go to bed ritual?

melatonin gummies (gotta make anxiety fun), skincare when executive dysfunction will allow, brush teeth, fight dog for my spot in bed (moving a 90lb animal is no joke), turn on my sleep playlist or use my ambient noise app, stare at ceiling

What’s your favorite time of day?

witching hour followed by golden hour

Your go to for having a good laugh?

lately tiktok and Kellyvisions, previously vine compilations or Netflix specials

Dream country to visit?

Ireland. I NEED to go to the motherland. My families castle is still standing and I get in for free. its on my bucket list FOR SURE. 

What’s the biggest surprise you’ve had?

getting into nursing school and chiropractic school. I’m a loser and I’ve never had a surprise party. I’d melt in puddle of love tbh

Heels or flats/sneakers?

Flats 98% of the time. Heels are reserved for business casual necessity, Halloween, or if I’m feeling myself 

Vintage or new?

both, depends on the item

Who do you want to write your obituary?

Amy-Sherman Palladino 

Style icon?

lmao a what? on the real though catch me fucking with those eco-friendly kitchen witch vibes. All the dainty jewelry, linens and converse/docks fam

What are three things you can’t live without?

my dog, my family (found and blood), healing people however I can (medicine ruined me for any other career and its sucks you guys)

What’s one ingredient you put in everything?

tbh salt, I question a recipes validity if salt isn't involved 

What 3 people living or dead would you like to make dinner for?

Kells and the band (I'd be too nervous for a one on one), a dinner party with my MGK fam, Elvis

What’s your biggest fear in life?

Failure, not accomplishing anything 

Window or aisle seat?

window all day everyday, on the wing preferably cause I like to feel the landing gear #pilotsgranddaughter 

What’s your current TV obsession?

Roadies forever, pry that series from my cold dead hands (also Gilmore Girls and Criminal Minds)

Favorite app?

tie between Tumblr and Pinterest (im an aesthetic slut)

Secret talent?

I am bomb at disney princess songs, the girls I babysit for treat me like a jukebox at bedtime, cutest thing ever

Most adventurous thing you’ve done in your life?

delivered a baby has hands down been the coolest thing I’ve ever done

How would you define yourself in three words?

I fucking hate this question. always have. empathetic, resilient, intuitive 

Favourite piece of clothing you own?

overall: my senior prom dress. its emerald green, backless, with a slit to upper thigh chefs kiss 

everyday wear: Colorado sweatshirt

Must have clothing item everyone should have?

I second Jude: over sized hoodies

Superpower you would want?

nonspecific healing powers so they aren't limited to physical ailments

What’s inspiring you in life right now?

Colson

Best piece of advice you’ve received?

HA. probably that the body remembers more about trauma than the mind and your seemingly irrational physical reactions to things are your brain’s attempt to protect you

Best advice you’d give your teenage self?

his mistake does not define your worth. I went for a variant of these boys aint shit don't judge me cause she needs to hear it

A book that everyone should read?

Harry Potter series (yes the whole thing), Speak by Laurie Halse Anderson, Wintergirls by Laurie Halse Anderson, The Giver by Lois Lowry 

What would you like to be remembered for?

empathy, the way I made people feel

How do you define beauty?

FOR THE LAST TIME ITS SUBJECTIVE, things that give you peace, it could be a song, a person, a sunset, a scone, a leaf. If it makes you stop a second and exhale then its beautiful to you

What do you love most about your body?

holy trigger question Batman...my eyes, my hair color, texture, and its ability to grow

Best way to take a rest/decompress?

drive with the windows down and blast music while singing at the top of my lungs

Favorite place to view art?

unexpected places, like street corners, carnivals, just somewhere it takes you off guard and makes you stop and pay attention

If your life were a song, what would the title be?

it’d be one of those crazy long 2000s fall out boy titles for sure, subject matter yet to be determined 

If you could master one instrument, what would it be?

violin hands down, it hits me different

If you had a tattoo, where would it be?

I have a bunch planned, plane on my right shoulder, Kells related between 3rd and 4th ribs (maybe lower in case I ever need a chest tube), watercolor portrait of my dog at some point location TBD

Dolphins or koalas?

dolphins are stoners and they're super smart, but koalas cause they’re grumpy af and honestly same

What’s your spirit animal?

again Jude and I are vibin: I've been identifying with a phoenix as of late. according to pottermore im a greyhound though (yes a patrons is a wizarding spirit animal. fight me)

Best gift you’ve ever received?

seven year old me was stoked to get a functional microscope and metal detector, I was in my egyptology/archeology phase, I still have them lmao

Best gift you’ve ever given?

oh hell idk...I made my cousin cry once cause I made cupcakes for her birthday party, they were cherry limeade flavored and had little straws and everything. that was pretty cool, granted she was seven. I also made my teacher cry cause I made sea salt caramel chocolate cupcakes for her going away party. I guess my baking brings people to tears

What’s your favourite board game?

candy land, battleship, cards against humanity even though there isn't a board

What’s your favourite colour?

forest green atm

Least favourite colour?

bright yellow/orange, its offensive to my general The Dirt Mick Mars disposition

Diamonds or pearls?

pearls (actually opals though)

Drugstore makeup or designer?

not picky provided they are evironmentally friendly. I really like Besame Cosmetics though

Blow-dry or air-dry?

air-dry, I don't have the patience for blow drying

Pilates or yoga?

yoga

Coffee or tea?

COFFEE, im still learning to like tea

What’s the weirdest word in the English language?

holy shit how much time do we have, my favorite weird word to say is fistula or omphalocele (they're medical conditions, don't goole it unless you have a strong stomach) 

Dark chocolate or milk chocolate?

dark chocolate

Stairs or elevator?

stairs 

Summer or winter?

neither FALL BITCHES   winter if I had to pick cause I love Christmas 

You are stuck on an island, you can pick one food to eat forever without getting tired of it, what would you eat?

burgers

A desert you don’t like?

red velvet cake....just why is it a thing that exists 

A skill you’re working on mastering?

baking scones or shit that’s flaky in general 

Best thing to happen to you today?

being tagged to do this twice, I felt special for a hot second (thanks babes)

Best compliment you’ve ever received?

that I would make a good doctor (I handled a scary pt situation like a champ, they didn't know I threw up after I made sure my pt didn't die. puking in a foreign country on the download is a skill in and of itself)

Favorite smell?

bergamot, baking bread, baking spice cakes at Christmas

Hugs or kisses?

HUGS CAN SAVE THE WORLD

If you made a documentary, what would it be about?

gifted kid fall off

Last piece of content you consumed that made you cry?

In These Walls - Machine Gun Kelly

Casual Sabotage - Yungblud

genius assholes...

Lipstick or lip gloss?

lipstick for special occasions but actually tinted chapstick or lip stains 

Sweet or savoury?

savory to eat sweet to make for someone else

Girl crush?

Brittney Furlan Lee, Alexis Bledel, Lauren Graham 

How you know you’re in love?

you look at them and just say yep. them. usually while they're doing something stupid 

Song you can listen to on repeat?

imma out myself but Swing Life Away - Machine Gun Kelly

If you could switch lives with someone for a day who would it be?

the grass is not greener ya’ll. id rather go back and relive days 

What are you most excited about at this time in your life?

hopefully passing my first trimester of chiropractic school. fingers crossed pls

[buckyscrystalqueen]

Wayward Hounds

Pairings: Sam Winchester x Reader

Warnings: Fluff

Word Count: 1,684

A/N: Posted from my old blog and unedited so it may be sloppy AF.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Yours or mine?” Sam asked as you rolled off him, half asleep, to get away from the shrill ring of the cell phone.

“Yours.” You grumbled as you belly flopped onto the bed with a grunt. “Can’t we just have one day to sleep in?” you whined as you looked toward your side of the bed to see the time and instead of the clock, you came face to face with your massive pit bull, Titus.

“Wayward Hounds, this is Sam.” Your husband said sleepily as he sat up and flipped on the light and you lifted your head off the pillow. 5:57. Half hour until your alarm would be going to go off anyways. Your eyes trailed over the 5 dogs that lay on the bed, hopefully looking at you with tails wagging. “Yea, Jody. Give us like half hour to let our pups out and we will head out there.” Sam said and you growled happily at Minnie, the pit/ lab mix you happened to be looking at, at the idea of having to get out of bed. 

“Daddy is not very nice.” You said to your dogs and you felt Sam’s hand fall in a gentle smack on your ass. You smiled as Titus and Astro, both big mama’s boys jumped off the bed in your defense. “Looks like someone’s in trouble.” You said with a glance toward your husband, as Sam hung up the phone. He raised his hands up over your back with a smirk on his face, challenging the two monstrous dogs and they leapt on top of you to get to him as he playfully played the drums on your bare back side.

“Alright, alright.” Sam said with a laugh as the room was filled with barks. “God you would think we owned a zoo instead of pits!” he said as he pushed Zippo off of you. You flipped your dreads back and glared at him.

“Well, when you attack the mama…” you said as you shoved him with a laugh. “So, where are we going today?” you asked as you rolled on your back, stretching across the bed in the little space available. Sam bent over quickly and blew a raspberry on your stomach and you squealed as you tried to wiggle away from him. 

“We are going to rescue a litter of puppies that are running across 17.” He said and your eyes shot wide. “And no, we are not keeping them.” He told you and you pouted.

“What about just one?” you asked as you wiggled on the bed, you pat an empty spot on the bed by your head. “He could sleep right here.” you said and Sam laughed.

“(Y/N), we have five and run a rescue. Can you honestly tell me you don’t get enough puppy love all day long?” he asked as he got out of bed and you shrugged. 

“You can never have enough puppy love, Sam.” You said as you rolled off the bed. “You got dogs or coffee?” you asked Sam as you walked toward the bathroom, grabbing jeans and a sports bra on your way. 

“I’ll take the dogs.” He said as he pulled on his shirt and opened the bedroom door. “Alright, pups. Let’s go.” The room was filled with sounds of dog pants and the clinking of dog ID tags as your five fur children leapt off the bed and darted toward the back door. You got dressed quickly, tying your hair back with a bandana and you grabbed the first shirt off the pile clean clothes you didn’t put away from the night before.

“Do we know how many puppies?” You asked as you started up the coffee pot, grabbing two traveler mugs from the cabinet as the room filled with the sound of dog food hitting the bottom of metal bowls.

“Jody said 4 but they kept running back to a ditch. She managed to catch 1 so far.” You turned and looked at him as he tied off the bag of food.

“The mother?” Sam shook his head with a shrug and you didn’t say anything. Rescues involving puppies were always hard.

“Van’s stocked up?” Sam asked as he opened the back door to let the dogs back in and a blast of cold wind followed your four-legged children inside and you shivered as you nodded.

“Vet-mobile is good to go!” you told him as you poured coffee in the two mugs. “Ready?” you asked as you handed him a mug and he nodded as he grabbed his keys.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

“Come here, baby.” You said to the last puppy as you pushed yourself a little farther into the drainage ditch. “I’m not here to hurt you, little one.” The tips of your fingers wrapped around the scruff of the little dogs neck and you smiled to yourself as you kicked your foot. “There we go sweetheart.” You soothed the squealing pup and you pulled it to your chest as Sam’s large hands grabbed your ankles, pulling you out of the drainage ditch on the flat roller you had created for this exact purpose. 

“Last one?” Sam asked as your head cleared the tunnel and you nodded as you handed the puppy up to him. 

“Far as I could see.” You got up and stretched slightly, your back cracking from being on the roller for the past 3 hours. There weren’t four puppies, there were 9 and their poor mother was nowhere to be found. You shook your head as you stood up. “What would you say 2 months?” you asked as Sam looked at the puppy you had just handed him.

“If that… these babies are tiny.” You walked toward the van as you shook your head.

“Who just leaves puppies as cute as this on the side of the road?” you asked as you opened the back door. You looked at the 8 puppies you had laying in the deep dog bed under a dull heat lamp and shook your head. “At least they look like they were take care of so that’s a plus.” You shoved the roller behind your chair.

“They were definitely family pets. No fleas or scabies and only 2 ticks between the 9 of them; negative for parvo, heartworms or any other parasites. We got here just in time babe.” Sam said as he checked out the last puppy while you sat down on the ground and picking up the nearest puppy.

“So, we while we are sitting here, we gotta come up with names.” You said as you looked at the sleeping puppy you held in your hands. Sam groaned.

“(Y/N), if you name them, we are gunna end up keeping one like we always do.” He said as he drew blood from the wiggly puppy on the table. You turned the puppy in your hands toward him with a pout.

“Baby, can you really say no to this face?” you pouted and he smiled.

“Honestly, I was gunna keep one the second Jody called us.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

“Sam!” Dean called out from the back row of kennels and you looked up from the dog run to see Dean struggling to keep Pepper in her cage. She had given birth to a littler of pups 2 weeks ago and she wasn’t letting anyone in the cage for any reason. How Dean forgot that you had no idea.

“Damn it, Dean” Sam yelled as he dropped the two large bags of dogfood he had on his shoulder before he darted across the property to help his brother. You tried to move to help but watching your husband, seeing the sweat soaked t-shirt sticking to his body, accentuating every muscle moving as he pulled the cage door shut while Dean pushed the dog into the cage, latching it closed before she had a chance to try to get out again. You shook your head as you stood up, leaning against the fence surrounding the dog run. You couldn’t help but sigh as you watched the love of your life run his forearm across his forehead to wipe the sweat away and you felt your stomach flutter. God he was so hot.

“Damn, baby! Take it off!” you yelled out with a smile and Sam looked across the yard at you with a smile. He walked over to you and as he pulled his shirt up to wipe his face, you groaned. Even after 5 years of marriage and 2 years of dating before that, you still couldn’t get enough of him. As he walked into the pen, the group of dogs that you had out playing ran toward the new playmate and he laughed as he squatted down to say hi. The smile he had on his face as he was knocked to the ground was mesmerizing and if you had to guess, his eyes were shining with love as the dogs attacked him with slobbery kisses. Starting the rescue had been Sam’s idea after he had found baby Titus, tied to a tree, a chain digging into his neck while he was doing his residency as a vet 6 years ago and while it had been a challenge, at the end of the day it was absolutely worth all the hard times the two of you had gone through.

“They never run out of love do they?” Sam asked as he came over to you, wiping dirt and grass from his hands onto pants and you shook your head as you pushed off the fence. 

“They get a second chance at a happy life, baby. You would love the person who rescued you too.” Sam wrapped his arms around your waist and leaned down to kiss your nose. 

“Do you know how beautiful you are?” he asked and you blushed slightly. “Especially when you smile; I love your smile.” You smiled again, hiding your face in his chest with a laugh.

“You make me smile, baby. Always have.” You told him as you looked up at him.

“And I never plan on stopping.”

[da-floof]

Early April fools story.

So I’ve been busy making a TF2 comic, as I’m trying some new stuff however have been neglecting to upload anything here aside that Guzma gif and Micheal Chu’s marvelous adventures onto Blizzard forums.

I’m not going to be here tomorrow or next week, I do have SOME posts lined up but there weill be nothing on the fly.

So I decided to do something I have not done before and write a story.

No idea why, I just kind of got bored several days ago and smashed out two pages, finshing it yesterday.

WARNING:HEAVY RASCISM, SWEARING, STEREOTYPING AND ATTEMPTS TO BE FUNNY AHEAD-READ AT OWN RISK.

Torbjorn and the turret. “My baby! Ohohoho!” The Swedish man half laughed half cried while patting the currently small death machine. The turret made no noise of recognition, but simply continued to sit silently, waiting for something to enter its range. Continuing to stare longingly at the design, the Swedish man could not help but feel sexual attraction to it. Total milf turret when it got to level 3 Finally turning away, Torbjorn rotated his claw idly before running to check over the balcony. No one at the second capture point of Hanamura yet… An approaching mumbling had him on guard, his milf turret whirred, as if detecting a possible threat. A loud smash accompanied by a wail of “TELEPORTER SENPAI! I DID NOT MEAN TO DROP YOU DOWN THE STAIRS DESHU!” Announced Symmetra’s presence. Rolling his eyes, Torbjorn blew a kiss to milfurret before moving out into the corridor, at the end of which was the Indian lady, attempting to duct tape her clearly broken spacial warping device back together. Clearly broken meaning it made a better jigsaw at the moment. “YOU SCOUNDREL YOUR RASCISM AGAINST WHITE TELEPORTERS WILL NOT BE TOLORATED!” Jumping, Symmetra quickly summoned her dope AF gun and charged up a large energy ball. “SEE THE TRUE POWER OF MY DANCING SKILLS!” She roared before firing the large ball of very slow sparking energy. He easily ducked under it, letting it sail harmlessly over him before popping with a sharp crackle as it hit a wall. Giving a frown she charged up another. “CHOAS WILL NOT BE TOLORATED!” She yelled again before once more sending a glowing orb at him. He leaned to the right. Once again the orb passed. “HOW DID MY WORLD WEAVING SKILLS GO SO WRONG!?” The Indian woman cried, falling to the ground. “You do not have the power of ARDVAARRKK!” Torbjorn stated loud and proud. Narrowing her eyes and raising from her defeated puddle of Symmetra and now tangled drapery she thrust her right hand at the man. “You leave aardvarks alone Mr IKEA man or I’ll -” A loud bang echoed through the shrine and Symmetra was triggered into Indian dancing, resulting in her falling over the balcony ledge while yelling incoherent Hindi. Whipping his head around at a moderate speed (the two molten metal filled weights on his beard had more than once swung up and knocked him out) he summoned his hammer from God knows where and proceeded to roll down the stairs to investigate. His rolling was stopped by crashing into one of Zaryas thighs, the 6,4 woman merely raising an eyebrow while her thigh failed to so much as quiver from the impact of fat and molten metal. “Mr Swedish man, I need armour, my guns are exposed and all the Japanese are scared of them, comrade Hanzos nipples vibrate at the very thought of them” Still lying on his back (having your own personal forge that was nearly as big as you had downsides) Toblestien nodded, throwing his limbs around like a baby. After several seconds more flailing Zarya slid her foot underneath his forge and managed to carefully tilt him upwards, being sure to exert as little effort as possible. Brushing himself down (resulting in covering himself in more grease) the Swedish man grunted. “Vell I better get to vork! Comrade Hanzo’s nipples are deadly when erect, but there are legends that they produce the finest milk in all ja- "FIRE IN THE FUCKING HOLE YOU CUNTS!!” A spastic screech filled with so much rage reaper would swoon echoed through the map, causing even Torbjorn beard danglies to blow up and smack him in the face from the sheer anger in the voice. A small piece of Zarya’s hair twitched and she gasped that her saloon hairdo (shoving half a pot of gel into her hair) had malfunctioned due to some cyka blyat fucker. “Quickly Mr Toblerone! I need armour!” Huffing to cover up a scared fart, he nodded and mentally activated his molten forge, a dozen kilos of raw metal softened as he heated it and Trobororne got a tiny boner as he  felt the raw liquid slosh around. “O-OOOH MMMYYYYY” cried the dwarf as he shudderd from the forge beginning the process of making an armour plate. Throwing out his shaking claw arm, he covered his now cherry red face and managed to whimper “A-armour here n-n-Nichan!” With such omega/twink/bottom bitch-ness that every loli girl created became the very image of masculinity and all the fuk boys who read them became gay. True to his weak words, an armour pack fired onto Zarya, morphing around her body to give maximum protection. The cooling metal warping around Zarya’s muscular frame quickly reignited his gimp suit fetish and his miniature boner sprung up with such force, his fanny amour was sent up like a cat flap being flipped. Zarya gasped as she noticed his cat flap action and clamped a hand over her mouth. “Trombone! Your vagigi amour will protect us from junktwat’s wheel of doom!” Before he could correct her upon the details of his genitalia- Zarya had picked him up and thrown him onto the bridge leading to the point. It was at that moment Junkrat’s ultimate, which had gotten lost and had had to roll to the nearest tourist shop for directions to the second points location-appeared.

It was with a look of fatness and old ugliness that Trobeljorne saw the wheel approaching. However despite his raging racism and boner he still managed to perfectly recreate the pulse bomb scene from ‘Alive’ pulling the shooty gun from his ass and firing several vaguely accurate shots before finally managing to nick it with the fourth. Instead of exploding like Tracer’s pulse bomb however, it merely let out a farting sound as it slowed down before completely flubbering out. And instead of jumping through an explosion to take a critical shot, Trambojean let out a loud, wet sounding fart, then proceeded to cry at the fact he could have died. Since he had his forge integrated into him for whatever reason, the Swede experienced a few quirks that came with it. The current one being having tears made of molten metal. Said metal rolling off the fat cheeks and onto the floor. The wooden floor. The effect was immediate. (Not counting the ten minutes the dwarf stood and cried while the wood slowly smouldered, finally catching when the stubby failure of a character dropped his oil and grease covered hanky onto it by accident.) Giving a warbling cry, Trumpetbjorn waddled further onto the point as the fire completely demolished the well varnished bridge and slowly furthered onto the flat each side. Valiantly, the blonde warbled some more before the need to sneeze occurred and he shot two jets of molten metal from his nose, setting the flood in front of him ablaze.

As the flames moved ever closer, Torbledoo could not help but feel there was a way he could easily get himself out of this. As he mused over how much happier his wife would be without him, he suddenly felt the urge to spit out 2 simple words. The words lodged in his throat, only adding to his breathing problems, refusing to let any air pass lest he spit them out.

His lips switched, his forge suddenly began working at a rapid pace-it was destiny.

“MOLTEN CORREE!”

His bellow alone blasted back flames in all directions and as superheated metal flowed through his body-Trobeporn realised he was invincible.

With an angry warble, like the most noble of penguins, the Swedish engineer stomped through the roaring flames like he had been born in them, the sheer ineffectiveness of the fire would make the Pyro from TF2 run in terror, Apollo himself would gasp as the man continued to walk back over to the bottom of the stairs where Zarya still stood (Livestreaming the whole thing under ‘Midget burns-FUNNY!’ as he would find out later)

With new found confidence he puffed out his glowing chest and twirled his claw as he looked up at the hulking woman.

“Miss Zarya, let us leave this terrible place and kill that smelly garbage man Junkrat”

Nearly swooning from the sheer manliness (and the fumes from the burning wood) Zarya gave a nod accompanied with a “Da!” before taking hold of Torbjorn’s hand (leaving him dangling half a foot in the air) and walking into Hanamura town.

  “Well gang that was certainly an odd thing to happen, however since the building burnt down we still technically control it so…congratulations?” Winston mumbled awkwardly as he resumed typing on his data pad.

The team around him cheered each planning to drink/dance/cry sadly(Torblebutt) or generally get into mischief under the disguise of ‘celebration’

Pulling away from the pad Winston frowned.

“Huh-err one moment team, we have an email from Hanamura it’s..A DAMAGE BILL!? Oh thank god it’s for Hanzo-apparently he was the one who helped originally Varnish the woodwork as a child and thus is liable for damage, here you go pal-now let’s celebrate!” the ape laughed, the document printing through an integrated printer before being thrown the Japanese man’s way.

The team cheered as they left the room, Winston giving Hanzo a smile before practicing his BJ skills on the fourth banana within 2 hours.

Soon only Hanzo remained, shell shocked he stared at the printed document.

Realising there was only one thing to do, he got an undercut, several piercings and gave a child a slice of cake.

Thus leading to ‘Reflections’

The end.

Happy April Fools!

Fladoof.