#blame it on the boo thang

[cregansdingdong]

imagine cregan and y/n breaking the bed one night just because of his sheer strength and muscle whilst pounding her, ik the conversation with the winterfell wood crafter would be awks as hell afterwards whilst asking for it to be repaired 😇😇

IM HAVING A PROPHETIC VISION, ANON.

At this point, Cregan and his boo thang are just going to have to become familiar with the man. There is no other option, because your choices are either to have this embarrassing conversation a multitude of times with multiple woodcrafters or just one. Because if y'all think this is a one-time thing, you are terribly mistaken.

Cregan is a very passionate person in bed, regardless if he's on top or not. He wants to make sure the two of you are satiated—that does mean the bed will snap like a twig under a boot i dont make the rules i just work here. Personally, I find the actual deliverance of the bedframe to be the most mortifying. Firstly, that big ass broken bed has to be dismantled and removed, if it's not fixable, which takes manpower, and then the new one brought into the Great Keep and put together. Otherwise, the woodcrafter is going to have to make a house call and show up with his tools and planks, walking toward your marital chambers which is embarrassing too :)

ɴᴏᴛ ᴀɢᴀɪɴ. (thoughts ver.)

NSFW stuff under the cut. 18+ only. I'm not responsible for the content you choose to consume. ty.

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That familiar groan under his weight should've been the first warning sign, but Cregan was too distracted to notice. He was lapping at her pretty cunt, tongue delving as deep as he could go and as thorough as he could be without the motions being too unsteady. Alright maybe he did notice initially, but the thought was very quickly shoved to the back of his mind—especially when his pretty wife was trying to rock herself onto his nose, letting out the most quiet of whimpers muffled by their sheets. His ears were focused on her and her only.

With her pearl rubbing against his bridge and his cock feeling so strained in his trousers, no one could really blame him for forgetting about the delicate state of the bed in an instant. Last time they’d gotten particularly frantic in their lovemaking, there had been a low snap somewhere beneath the mattress, a taunt that he was probably too hefty to be moving so much. But winter was coming, a man’s gotta eat…in more ways than one.

By the time he’d recalled they should begin to take it easy on the bed, he was already balls deep behind her, hands gripping the flesh of her ass like a lifeline. He was suffocating in the best way, cock nestled inside, fogging his brain with nothing but instinct. And then she started begging. By then, well, he decided they needed a new bed anyway—six moons wasn’t too bad. Lasted longer than the previous replacement. Three harsh, unrelenting spanks bloom red on her backside as she squeezes around him, sending his blood pumping to the beat of an imaginary war drum. It would be a miracle from the Gods if she wasn’t pregnant by mid-summer. Cregan just couldn’t help himself.

Rutting against her like a man starved, the right side of the bed almost completely collapses, caving in and nearly throwing him off balance. His wife gasped, pleasure momentarily halted as she looked back at him. “Again? Seriously? I told you to write to him last time, did you?” The answer was no, no he did not. “It might have…slipped…my mind.” He murmured, trying to ignore the throbbing in his full balls. They had a silent conversation of glares and a sheepish grin. Then she concedes. “...We might as well finish then. I doubt it can get any worse.”

It could, actually. And it did. He came hard some twenty minutes later, pounding their hips together with a steady desperation. The dip of the broken side was a little annoying, but manageable. Without the support, the right beams of the canopy end up falling right down. No one was harmed, of course. It was only drapes. Cregan found it almost comical but his wife did not. It was going to be a long letter.

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[real-hot-grl-shi]

Their first big date w/ s/o !!!

♡ • !! Characters: Pavitr, Hobie, 1610! Miles • ♡

♡ • !! Written for poc/black !f reader but anyone can read !! • ♡

!! ♡ Warnings: Fluff :) a little bit of suggestive jokes from the creator (again) 17 or over please click off.

!! ♡ Reader is not a spider person !! :)

Sudara - Love

• Pav: first thing this cutie does is ramble about how beautiful the place is. "omg this place is so nice we should come here often what do you think love? Look at all the lights, colors, the candles, the napkins it's so nice here you did a great job at picking this out omg I could hug you!! Can I hug you? Yes?!" Fucking attacks you with kisses and hugs infront of everyone. Sure, some people gave gazes but none of them were negative, thankfully. You were so embarrassed when he was done showering you with attention. "Sudara , what's wrong?" He asked with sincere worry in his voice, his eyebrows narrowing slightly. "Bubba, you almost tackled me with kissies in front of a damn crowd!!" You exclaimed, swiftly pushing your hands in the air with a flustered expression. "Oh so you're flustered? That's cuteee" he teased, bending down/looking up and kissing you in the cheek. You couldn't stop the tingling feeling in your cheek for the rest of the damn day. Blame him, not me.

• Miles: acting like this place is a museum. "Bonita, you didn't have to spend all this on me." Will spoil you after the date by getting snacks from the nearest 7-11, swinging in the city streets, and hanging on the tallest building, cuddling in the drizzling rain. "Dos mio, yo te amo.." he muttered, pecking your forehead while you drift off to sleep on his shoulder. (Y'all so cute 🥰)

• Hobie (my boo thang) he's not used to fancy or over the top dates bc he lives in a fucking boat. But he will treat you like a damn princess when you get back to his/your place. "Luv, you don't have to do all of this..." picks you up bridal style immediately when they reach the place and shows you off like a fucking trophy before taking you home and smothering you with kissies

(and hopefully his hoo hah)

You can obviously tell who's my favorite 🫶🏾

[cosmicstarlatte]

Omg mammon my loveeee. Yeah Satan recently joined bc of NB. I didn't play the og much bc it confused me sm lol. I like the rhythm part to NB but I do kinda suck at it. Mammon refuses to come home 😭 I have fuckin two UR+/UR Lucifer. UR Levi. UR Satan even UR Luke but no Mammon 😭😭

Yes yesss spicy cove 👀👀 the wedding night one was top tier. I'm ecstatic. I haven't done the dlc of the others bc I'm so committed LOL but I know they're amazing.

I just like my men angry n mean but soft to me. Lucifer got me bc he's all untouchable but in certain stories he's all for touching etc. I'm downnn.

Yeah TokyoRev is pain but it ended in the way I wanted in the manga lol

My bestie looooves rengoku. Uzui is sooo handsome but I'm greedy. Can't share n I'm not sorry lmaooo. Sanemi is my boo thang I'll love him forever!!!!

- Angsty Anon

yeah the game takes a little getting use to but the guides I looked at made it a little easier c: I still love & hate the whole rhythm thing, I'm just so bad at them & usually skip them. 😭 I hope he comes home soon to you! That was me & Lucifer I lost track of how many pulls i did in the beginning to get him. ...I did splurge a bit but it was a bday present to myself at the time. Then i saw the leveling system & regretted it. Still stuck. 🥲🥲🥲

Okay now I know I really have to get the wedding dlc then!! I'm gonna be a CHANGED person after, I know it, & Im gonna blame you!! 😆

alakdjfglfjsjdklsj Lucifer will always be a pathetic bb girl & no one can tell me otherwise!!

I'm glad Tokyo Rev ended how you wanted :) sometimes it sucks when it goes a different direction than what you want but whatever the mangaka says, goes. 😭 *me watching gege evily rn tho*

& ur bestie has good taste, rengoku is so cute & precious but like also so strong & ugh he's a little ray of sunshine! 😭 LMAOO I'm glad u know what u want! & what u like!! 😌

edit: I ended up going on a rb spree on my sideblog bc of cove LMAO

[androidambergg]

I blame this post because every single time she talks to me she refers to me as (boo thang shout out black people) and it drives me FUCKING CRAZY

I keep thinking abt this comment and giggling

[theuniverseawakens347]

MY PASTRAMI IS SHIVA… I fuck like a man “ I want it I got it leave me lone” … I don’t chase I don’t harass and I don’t beg… unless you my nigga n I’m real real horn.. but that was 16 year old me before TOYS.. TMI but I fuck me better than anyone .. Elmo shrug… BUT I LIKE CONTACT HERE N THERE BODY TO BODY SO I GOT MY CHOICE,. USUALLY BF OR BOO THANG.. BUT WHEN IM DONE IM DONE.. SHE SNATCHY SHANCHY WHEN I WANT A LITTLE EXTRA G SPOT HIT… N SHE PUSH YA OUT WHEN YA MISTREATING ME DONT CARE IF WE DATING.. VENUS FLY TRAP ….YA SLIDE RIGHT OUT AND CANT ENTER BACK IN., I KNOW THRU HER WHEN A MAN IS CHEATING OR MISTREATING ME … N SHE SLIPPERY BUT NOT WHEN YA RAPING ME.. SHE DONT GLISEN THE SAME… CAUSE AGAIN.. PROTECTION MAKE YOU UNCOMFORTABLE N GET OUTNOF ME.. PRESTON 19.. me leave you and come back to la after trying to make Barry’s work n Paul wright ya sneak dissed slipped something in my drink n I told you get out of me even tho I liked ya.. at chad Maddie Parker cousin YA GOT ME TIPSY SLID IN NEVER FINISHED LAURYN REESE PLANNED CAUSE I PUSHED YA OUT N LEFT. .. AT JULIAN HARREEL.. SIDE WAYS.. WE ALWAYS KNOW WHAT MY PARTNER WANT N NEED JUST OFF MENTAL EMOTIONAL CONNECTION… LONG STORY SHORT IVE FUCKED ME N MALE SUITS N THEYVE FUCKED THEMSELVES IN ME… LEE TRIED DOING IT BUT YA GOT HERMPHRODITE WOMEN CHOPPED PEEN LYING STALKING TRAINS KITKA DRAGON CHRISEAN ROCK .. TOMMI HHNHP… TAMI EMOTJONALLY IMBALANCED FROM PSYCHMDS SO YA CHASE MEN NO GOOD FOR YOUR EMOTIONAL TRIGGERED HEALTH … YA FUCKING REFLECTIONS OF YA WORSE SELVES N THINKING YOU WINNING WHILE DYING SLOWLY INSIDE … BLAME LEE MKULTRA MIND CONTROL THRU BODY WAR FARE TACTICS… AT CHINA READINF TWITTER BUT AGREE.. OR BETTER UNDERSTANDING OF SHIVA POST ..

[awesamcozy]

mercy killed fridog

friday got a boo thang u cant blame them for dying

[astridkolch]

Okay

Well this is my AU Called day and night And this is my version of sideswipe and sunstreaker

And moonlight is a mix of me and Sideswipe And the other is a mix of my brother and sunstreaker

They are adopted by 3 members of the autobot their 2 sires ironhide and ratchet and there Carrier Wheeljack

Sunrise/sunstreaker is in a relationship with 2 Of the autobot Firelight and bluestreak [I couldn't pick one for him] And Sideswipe/Moonlight is with Mirage/Dino

I already have sparklings for them in the future Mostly Sunstreaker/sunrise but sideswipe/moonlight would have 1 or 2 in the future

When they were first found by ratchet and the other 2, Sideswipe/Moonlight was a sparkling, [She wasn't born not long ago At this time] and her Big Brother Sunstreaker/sunrise[was a youngling At that time]

Personality time

Well Moonlight is like very very lazy like to appoint that she would sleep anywhere she's also very shy and likes to make friends She loves her hammocks and beanbags she likes to eat a lot And she loves her Big/ Much more older Brother a lot ❤️ She's very How do I put it a lot of things go past her head without her knowing or understanding it shes also very curious about a lot of things especially once she was also a sparkling Definitely curious at that age And No she's not a Warrior She's actually a helper Because prompts forbid if she ends up getting hurt her Big Brother would blame himself Cuz of it she's already very clumsy look at her fall and all over herself and there's nothing there Besides she's still a teenager/youngling That's starting to become an adult slowly Probably just a few more birthdays but geez she's so cute tho And that's why he must protect her

And

Now Sunstreaker/sunrise on the other hand It's the most chill out one of the 2 he likes games but he wouldn't mind putting a fist in someone's face if he was too bored or they're getting on his nerves Hes still really aggressive but hes more mellowed out over it But hes very I mean very or protective of his little sister And hes not letting her date At this age so far maybe in the future probably not Hes somewhat of an artist but that's his sister's thang And hes more into games He has a few friends in the Autobots And the same thing with the 3 parent autobot thing as well

So what do you think of them ?

Sounds interesting, though when you have Sideswipe/moonlight, are they like the same bot or two different bots? My opinion, personalities seem kinda on point, but this is your au so you do you boo~

Have fun with your au though, sounds hella cute!

[milfgyuu]

I don't have anything to say but that I choked with Dino's photoshoot for esquire

oh you mean these?

[ittybittylittlebit-hot]

*here's my url*

My Opinion on;

Character in general: before i even started to type, i bet hunter moved to the front like ‘yes steph, talk about me and how awesome i am’. lmfao. cuz that hoe knows that im his number one fan ;) ... ANYWAYS. you know i love your babies. srsly each and every one i’ve played with so far and i can’t wait to play with the rest. hunter, alaska and evie are who im attached to SO FAR. those babes i would protect at all costs. and your muses are all so diff! i love How they play them: phenomenally. The Mun: this my boo thang right here. srsly rory. you are fucking bomb. and so damn sweet. you’re so damn good to me and i appreciate you a ton !!  

Do I:

RP with them: YESWant to RP with them:  OFC

What is my;

Overall Opinion: srsly. you still surprise me every time we talk. you either do something nice/thoughtful or just give me some really kind and caring words that i need to hear at the time. if im down, you always check in and that’s really sweet of you. you’re a really great friend. i love ALL of your muses. (hunter sit the fuck down). and you’re always down for more threads with me and that means the WORLD to me. i will have ALL the threads with you and your lovely beans even if like 60% is with hunter. XD... im such trash jfc. but really i love you lots and you’re one of my favorite blogs !! srsly FOLLOW THIS GIRL !!!!!! I CANT EMPHASIZE THAT ENOUGH. 

Send me your URL and I’ll tell you

[adashofniallandasprinkleoflunacy]

IM GLAD SOMEONE SAID IT ANIMOJI Y/N IS FINE ASF

I FUCKING HATE YALLSLDKWNSNSJ who can blame the Harrys then huh

🎶Shawty a lil baddie, she my lil boo thang 🎶

[scuttle-buttle]

I'm feeling the same, getting bored so I'll blame my cheekiness on all this free time I have, my friend came to bring me some soup that her girlfriend made for me so now we're in bed having a bowl of soup 😂 while she complains about my movie choice.

How was the date, I love pancakes with honey and butter

🔥-N

It was fine the food was good and it wasn't actually a date lmao were all trying to get her to commit to her boo Thang up north

Ooh what kind of soup is it? That's so nice of her tell her I said thank you to them both. Also what movie are you watching? We are watching the Jonas Brothers family roast on Netflix and drinking (I was a nick girl by the way I think it's fitting wouldn't you agree? 🤭🤗)

Weird flex but I love pancakes with gravy. Everyone thinks I'm weird but my grandma made it for me all the time growing up so hop off @lorna-d-m

[bigamcthyst]

TASK 001:

FLAUNT Magazine sits down w/ Amethyst Pryce!

Amethyst is struggling to hear over a blow dryer. We’re in a small photography studio in at PRYCE Production Studios and the 26-year-old beauty is honing her look before the shoot. Everyone was a little late (traffic), but now the space is humming with garment hangers sliding across clothes racks and paper grocery bags shuffling snacks to their designated areas. Amethyst is seated in a sweatshirt, juggling two stylists preparing her for a shoot, interview questions, and FaceTime calls from a teenage sneaker broker and influencer. Last night she was battling with her event planner trying to iron out details for her upcoming event for the famed PRYCE Productions, and she’s preparing for a huge roll out to reintroduce the company to this generation. But despite this dizzying to-do list, the Bay Area native is relaxed, almost unbothered. It’s just another day in Amethyst’s world. Her brother Akeem Pryce is nearby, keeping her sane by forcing her into rap cyphers with him. This puts a lot into perspective but the question still remains: who is Amethyst Pryce?

Interviewer: For those who don’t know, tell us a little about who you are.

A: I’m the daughter of Allen Pryce, one of the most critically acclaimed producer/directors in the movie and TV industry. My brother, Akeem and I are the heirs to PRYCE Production.

Interviewer: That’s a crazy world to be apart of, dating must be crazy? Do you find it harder to date?

A: Well I think I make it hard, I don’t allow myself to make one person a priority.

Interviewer: Now you said ‘person’, does that mean you aren’t totally hetero?

A: Amethyst smirks, before giving a simple head nod. Women are nice to look at, can you blame me? Don’t get me wrong I love men, but it’s something about loving a woman that just... I can’t explain it.

Interviewer: So in your own words, what do you identify as?

A: I’m bisexual, gender wise I am female and I use she/her.

Interviewer: So earlier you mentioned that you were an heir, let’s expand on that and your role at PRYCE Productions.

A: Sure, I have taken on the role as Producer/Screenwriter. I’ve pretty much been a writer my whole life. I’ve always loved having writing as an outlet especailly with everything I’ve been through. The producer role was introduced to me by my father, who got me the opportunity to intern for Quentin Tarantino.

Interviewer: Wait, THE Quentin Taratino?

A: Yes, Mr. Pulp Fiction himself.

Interviewer: I have to admit, that’s pretty impressive. How did he introduce you guys and did you even know how big of deal that was at the time?

A: The day of my 17th birthday, and it was the summer, July 7th. Cancer gang baby! So I was old enough to know like who he was and what that opportunity would mean for me. I just remember my Dad calling me into his office and there he was. Quentin Tarantino in a tie dye shirt. And the rest was history.

Interviewer: So I’m sure you gained a lot knowledge and experience from both him and your father. Are you afraid of letting them down? That’s a lot of pressure for someone who isn’t even in their 30s yet.  Do you have any fears at all?

A: I can’t lie and say I don’t feel any pressure but pressure makes diamonds and I’m already a gem. I think I’m just afraid to not accomplish everything I want to professionally and personally before I die.

Interviewer: So, what are your aspirations:

A: I want to make my first million dollars from a film or TV show that I wrote and produced by myself, no Daddy involved. I got all this old money, I wanna be able to say I got some of it on my own. I want to find love someday and have a big ass family. I really want to have a house in the Philippines as well. A big ass crib.

Interviewer: Most of your goals seem pretty family-oriented, which is surprising because you’re very driven and flashy. Some could mistake you for boujie, especially with your upbringing. What do you have to say about that?

A: I get that assumption a lot. Crazy thing is, I’m only so ‘flashy’ because of my mother. I remember watching her get decked out in the flyest shit to go to galas and movie premieres with my father. She was an amazing host and always had us looking fly whenever she hosted parties. I get my sense of style from her. She was everything. I’m not boujie though, maybe a lil girly but hey.

Interviewer: Some people may be familiar with the tragic loss of your mother, but to some this is all new information so if it’s alright, can you talk a bit about that?

A: My mother was diagnosed with stage 3 brain cancer, the proper term is Glioma. My brother and I didn’t know because she begged my father not to tell us. So we basically went on about life like nothing was wrong. Eventually her condition worsened and she ended up in intensive care in the hospital, soon after that she was gone.

Interviewer: That must have been tough, I couldn’t imagine dealing with something like that. I’m so sorry for your loss.

A: Thank you but I didn’t lose her, I gained an angel. I talk to my mom every chance I get. On days I feel like I can’t get through, I just feel her presence and her love. It’s funny because even in the afterlife, she remains the glue of our family.

Interviewer: That’s a beautiful way to look at it, you have this strength about you that just glows. How are you not married yet?

A: Shit, you tell me honey? If you let my best friend Ashtyn tell it, I’m a grandma and a prude.

Interviewer: Are you really?

A: Hello no, but she thinks I work too much and don’t make enough time to play. And she’s not wrong, but I just feel like if you like me then you should be fightin’ for my attention. Chase me and I’ll love you forvever. A girl likes to feel appreciated.

Interviewer: Well, you heard it here first ladies and gentlemen, if you want a chance with Amethyst you’re gonna have to come correct.

A: Period! Nah but I just want some romance, like 4 page letter, getting caught in the rain kinda romance.

Interviewer: Well since we’re on the topic, what are your likes and dislikes?

A: I like wings and I love sushi. I dislike waiting and I hate repeating myself.

Interviewer: So impatient and greedy? Got it.

A: Oh, wow. I can’t say you’re wrong.

Interviewer: If you had to describe your social media presence, what would you say?

A: My twitter is a bunch of inside jokes and me rambling at 3 A.M. Snapchat was originally just for my close friends but I’ve opened it up for my fans so I can take them through my work days at PRYCE Production studios and just my work days and trips in general. My instagram is my favorite app to use because I get to showcase my style. I love to put looks together. I’m the type of girl to beat my face and get dressed just to go get a snack from the kitchen.

Interviewer: Now take us through your phone, what’s going on there?

A: I have three phones. One is a business phone, for all holllywood friends, contacts and connections. One phone is kinda like a business phone but I use it to stay in contact with staff at PRYCE Production studios. And the last one, of course, is a personal phone for friends, family and a boo thang when I get one.

Interviewer: Okay, I love to end interviews with this question becasuse the answer says a lot more about you than anything else will. What is your music taste like?

A: Oh that’s a hard one. I really love all genres. I can go from Biggie to Mary J. Blige, to Old Dominion, to Elton John, to Queen to Frank Ocean, to Juvenile, to Too Short... It all depends on the mood I’m in or the mindset I need to be in at that moment.

Interviewer: I think that is officially one of my favorite answers. Amethyst, thank you for sitting down with me today. I can’t what to see what you do with PRYCE Productions

A: Thank you, it was a pleasure being here with you, truly. This was fun.

[grayswhore]

CAMMMMM I’VE MISSED YOU SISSS!!! I need a life update. How’s the job, school, and ya lil boo thang or whateva. Sis get a man a forget we exist. Smh. 🤦🏽‍♀️👀

Babyyyyyy! Hiiiii I’ve missed you too!!!! Girl this job is the reason I ain’t even been on here like that, I mean I guess we can blame my man a lil bit but it is mainly my job. I’m good tho, the man is good, the job is ass. How about you babe?

[shownusmilitarymilf]

Why can’t I be teleported back to the Qing dysnasty to be some irresponsible emperors exotic boo thang who has to be beheaded cause the government can’t run efficiently so naturally these crusty ass men gotta blame it on a women instead of dealing w college?

[songficsbyrissi]

Same Girl (T’Challa x Black Reader x Erik Killmonger? 😧)

Warnings: Swearing (of course), sexual content, slight fuckery, Reader is on some bullshit

“We messing with the same girl, the same girl She's the apple of my eye and my potential wife The same girl, the same girl Man, I just can't believe that we been messing around With the same damn girl.” - R. Kelly and Usher A/N: ok I don’t know what possessed me to write this but I wrote it 🤣 I know y’all heard the legendary song that is Same Girl which I know word by word by heart. Fun fact: I used to sing it all the time in my senior English class with my high school friend to annoy my teacher. Anyways, Reader is gonna be a fuckgirl in this oneshot so let’s get our ain’t shitness onnnnn.

*************

“Ahh my beautiful Y/N, I wish I could be in Oakland with you.” T’Challa sighed looking at you amorously through the screen of your rose gold iPhone. “But duty calls, love.” “And I completely understand. I’ll be counting down the minutes you come back to me, honey.” You replied as you lathered your body up with cocoa butter. You were fresh out of the shower when one of your boo’s T’Challa called you for your night calls. He was so sweet and loved to call you every night to hear your voice last. “I know you will. Good night, inkosazana.” You giggled at his pet name. “I think I’m catching onto your language. That means princess, right?” A bright smile came across his face. “Yes it does because that’s what you are. A princess.” You cooed holding your chest. “Aww you are such a sweetheart! Good night, handsome.” You blew kisses at the phone and hung up. You looked up to your door entrance to see your friend/roommate Isabel shaking her head at you. “Tsk tsk tsk.” She clicked her tongue in disapproval which caused you to groan and roll your eyes. “Bitch, what?” Isabel stepped inside your bedroom with her hands on her hips. “How are you going to be playing that man like that?” You waved her off and continued getting dressed. “Girl, I’m just having fun. No strings attached. Besides, we never said we were in a relationship so if I mess with other dudes, it’s not wrong.” Why should you feel bad? Niggas do it all the time. They always have multiple girls in their phone that they’re talking to whether they’re in a committed relationship or not. No one even bats an eye or condemn him for his actions. They find a way to blame the girls and call them stupid. When the roles reversed, it’s still your fault? “So you mean to tell me if African boo was to fuck another shorty, you wouldn’t be upset?” When you shook your head, Isabel snorted. “You are full of shit, Y/N. And you know it.” “Girl, why you all up in my pussy? I’m young and having fun. If I wanna mess with more than one guy, I can do that shit because I’m grown. Niggas be fucking with multiple girls all the time and y’all don’t tell them shit. I’m tired of the double standard.” You checked your other phone, a silver iPhone, trying to see if Erik, your other boo thang, hit you up yet. “Oh shut up. If you wanna be a fuckgirl, just own that shit. Don’t pull the double standard card. I know for a fact both of these niggas you’re fucking with have no clue they’re not the only ones. You gave them the impression that you’re their girl. Don’t lie. Shit, that’s why you got two phones.” She raised an eyebrow with a face that was daring you to lie. You put your hands up in defeat. “Ok, ok! But I never explicitly said I was their girl! They just assumed and I ran with it. T’Challa is a sweet, romantic gentleman but Erik is a hood nigga that treats me right and down to do some hood rat things. They’re everything I want a man but in 2 separate men. Why not date both?” Isabel shook her head for the hundredth time. “Your logic is fucked up but makes sense. Anyway, this shit is gonna blow up in your face. Everything that happens in the dark comes to the light.” “Girl please. I’m too good at this. I’ve got both of these niggas wrapped around my finger. The only way is up.” You smiled slyly as your phone lit up with a text from Erik. You ran quickly past her and went straight for the door, flinging it open. There stood Erik, in all his fineness. He’s wearing a white t-shirt, grey sweats and Nike slides, just like you instructed him to. “Hey Erik.” You leaned against the door frame biting your lip. “Hey ma. I missed your sexy ass.” He said stepping inside and kissing your lips. “Show me how much you missed me.” You whispered seductively causing Erik to throw you over his shoulder and march to your bedroom. You smirked knowing you were truly living your best life. **************************** T’Challa sat in his office attempting to get his work done but thoughts of you clouded his mind. Your smooth skin, beautiful face, beautiful hair, and lovely smile. Everything about you had him wanting more and more of you. He wanted to call you but it was the morning. He knew you liked to sleep in so he didn’t bother calling. T’Challa wanted to tell somebody about you but he would face too much judgement being a king and falling for an American woman. Suddenly, he knew who wouldn’t judge him. His cousin N’Jadaka who also went by Erik. “Ughhhh T, the resource centers are straight. I already told you this. When you gonna trust a nigga?” Erik groaned when he answered the phone. “Ahh N’Jadaka, I’m not calling about that.” T’Challa stated still in his trance. Erik raised an eyebrow as he started his black 2018 Audi. “You’re not? Then why you calling me?” “Because I have deep feelings for this woman I met in America. I had to tell you this. She is so wonderful, umzala.” Erik snickered as he drove away from your apartment building. “Ahhh shit. It’s about time. I was beginning to think your ass was gay.” T’Challa ignored his last comment. “Yes it is about time. I believe she is the one for me.” Erik snorted. “Shit I guess we really are cousins then because I’m feeling a shorty too. Tell me about your girl then, nigga. I feel like she’s white. If you ain’t gay, you seem like the type to like colonizer coochie.” “She is not a colonizer, N’Jadaka.” T’Challa pinched the bridge of his nose out of annoyance. He was beginning to regret calling him. “She is a beautiful black woman.” “Oh shit! She’s black?! And American?! Nigga, tell me more.” Erik pulled into the driveway of his home. He was even more intrigued, dying to know what black woman that wasn’t Nakia gave his “soft ass cousin” the time of day. “Yes, cousin. She is so beautiful. Her hair, her smile is just perfect. She dresses well and has a captivating body. She is funny and smart. A complete vixen. I met her in Oakland.” “Oakland? I might know her. What’s her name, cousin?” Erik turned off the ignition. “Ahh her name is so beautiful. Her name is Y/N.” Erik dropped his phone at the sound of your name. He began to sweat at his brow then laughed it off. He must be talking about another girl by that name but curiosity got the best of him and he had to ask. “Um, cousin? Do she live in a nice little condo and have a roommate named Isabel?” Erik laughed nervously and T’Challa’s eyebrows knitted together in confusion. “Yes she does.” Erik shook his head in denial as he exited the car and entered his house. No, he couldn’t be talking about you. But how many bitches in Oakland are named Y/N with a roommate named Isabel? “That’s funny. My girl is named Y/N and has a roommate named Isabel too. That’s crazy.” Erik chuckled some more and sighed. “So what kind of car does she drive?” T’Challa sat up in his chair trying to understand what Erik was getting at. “A red Toyota. She told me it was a gift from her father.” “And she loves In and Out?” “......yes.” “FUCK!” Erik dropped his phone and paced his halls up and down. “THIS IS SOME FUCKING BULLSHIT! HOW THE HELL! YO! WHAT THE FUCK, MAN?!” T’Challa heard his cousin continue to yell curse words away from the phone. “N’Jadaka?” He called for him. “Are you saying you know her?” Erik picked up the phone in a haste. “Yes nigga I know her! I really knew her last night!” Erik sighed punching a wall. “We messing with the same fucking girl, T!” T’Challa shook his head as if his cousin could see him. “No. Impossible! This can not be!” Erik pulled the phone away from his ear and found a sexy picture of you that you sent to him. He sent it to the other man and waited. “Check your phone, T’Stupid.” T’Challa looked at the picture and dropped his phone just like Erik did earlier. “SHIT!” He shouted away from the phone angrily and continue to curse in Xhosa. He paced his office still cursing then picked up his phone. “We are involved with the same woman, N’Jadaka!” “Yeah. No shit. That’s what I said.” Erik sighed rubbing his face then slammed his fist on the table. “We gotta catch this trick!” T’Challa was confused. “Why should we play a trick on her? We must confront her in her indiscretions.” Erik sucked his teeth not knowing who he was more frustrated with. T’Challa for not knowing his slang by now or himself for assuming he did. “Man, just bring your ass to Oakland ASAP.” Erik hung up groaning and shook his head. “This nigga. Out of all the niggas Y/N could’ve played me with, she chose this nigga. That’s that shit.” Once T’Challa had his affairs in order, he hopped on an “emergency” flight to Oakland. Erik picked him up from the airport and they had a little staredown when T’Challa got in the car. Erik snorted shaking his head and putting his car in drove T’Challa squinted his eyes. “What, N’Jadaka?” “Out of all the niggas in this world, I was sharing pussy with your ass. This is some bullshit. Did you even ask her if she had a man?” “She said no. Did you?” Erik groaned gripping the steering wheel. “Yes and her ass said no. She told me she wanted my ass once she first saw me.” T’Challa hit his forehead. “She told me the same thing! What should we do?” Erik pulled out his phone smirking with a plan on his mind. He asked Siri to call your phone and you picked up with no idea you’ve been caught up. “Hi papi!” You cooed on the other line and T’Challa made a face of disgust, wanting to say something but Erik gestured him to shut up. “Yo what’s going on, ma? This is last minute but I wanna take your fine ass out to eat tonight. I hope you ain’t got nothing planned.” T’Challa was confused as to why Erik was making plans to go to dinner with your deceitful ass. Was he not ready to wring your neck five minutes ago? “I always got time for you, baby. Let’s meet at TGI Friday’s at 8.” You replied ‘This lying hoe.’ Erik thought but instead said, “Aight bet. See you at 8.” Once Erik hung up, T’Challa shot him a confused and frustrated look as Erik kept a smirk on his face. “Why are you making dinner plans with the woman who has been playing games with the both of us?” Erik glances at him chuckling. “Don’t worry, cousin. I got a plan.” In another part of Oakland, your dumbass was getting for this date you had with your boo with no clue that you done showed your ass and all the shit you’ve been doing is going to blow up in your face. But we’ll let you rock for now. Anyway, you get dressed in your grey ripped skinny jeans and white crop top. You purposely put on a crop top to show off your belly button piercing that Erik loves so much. You put on strapped sandals to show off your fresh white painted toes, which was every nigga’s weakness. Once your makeup was done, you admired yourself in the mirror. Shit, you might be able to get a third nigga looking this fine. You picked your braid out, fluffed it, and made your way out the door. “Don’t wait up for me, sis!” You smirked to Isabel who laid on the leather sofa watching Empire. “I’m most likely getting dick for the second night in a row.” Isabel shook her head with her eyes still on the TV. “You do you. Just know God don’t like ugly, sis.” “With that logic, God don’t like you, bitch!” You cackled exiting your condo and walking towards your car. You hopped into your Toyota and drove to the restaurant. Once you parked, you went inside and found Erik waiting in a booth facing you. You smiled strutting over to him and sliding in the opposite side of the booth. “Hey boo.” You leaned over to peck his lips and sat back down. “You gonna feed me good?” “Oh Imma be feeding you good, alright.” He bit his bottom lip seductively and you grinned getting turned on. “But first, let me introduce to my cousin real quick.” You sighed because you thought this was a casual one on one date but this nigga got you meeting his family now? Whatever. You’ll entertain it. It couldn’t hurt meeting his cousin, right? You looked up and your face turned stone cold as your heart picked up its pace. There was your boo, T’Challa, taking a seat right next to Erik, your other boo, in the crimson booth. They both looked at you with devious smirks on their faces and you gulped nervously. How the fuck did you not know the two niggas you were messing with were cousins? You are so fucked. “Nice to see you, Y/N.” T’Challa spoke slowly with a face that basically said “you’ve been caught, bitch.” “Um....” You were speechless as fuck. You’re pretty sure you had “dumb bitch” written on your forehead. You were beyond embarrassed and wished the ground would swallow you up. You were a good person, you didn’t deserve this.............okay, maybe you did. You did mess with two guys at once. “You see, Y/N. I’ve noticed that my cousin and I have a lot in common. We both speak Xhosa fluently, we are both right-handed-“ “We both ate your ass!” Erik snapped cutting T’Challa off. You scanned your surroundings praying nobody heard his loud ass. A couple of people looked at you guys and you hid your face in shame. Aww shit. T’Challa stared at Erik with a stunned expression. “I....I never ate her ass, N’Jadaka.” You peeked up to see Erik’s eyes widen and his mouth form an O as he pointed at you accusingly. “You......made me eat your ass?! And this nigga didn’t do it?!” Erik pointed his thumb at T’Challa. “Um, well, see, you, um, I, You-“ Erik mimicked you as he stared at you in annoyance. “Now you can’t speak English?! I don’t even be eating ass but I ate yours! Because I thought I loved you, girl!” “Ain’t nobody force you to do it!” You found your voice. As Erik continued being melodramatic to himself, T’Challa discreetly pushed Erik’s drink away from his and cleared his throat. “The point is, you have been playing the both of us which is unfair and hurtful, Y/N. I really had feelings for you. I thought I loved you as well. Do you care to explain yourself and apologize for hurting us when all we did was treat you so well?” T’Challa’s words made you realize you were a complete piece of shit. Both of them did treat you like a queen and what you did was fucked up. Your mama raised you better than this. You stared at both of them sadly and felt a huge weight on your heart. These two wonderful men that you had the nerve to play with like that. They deserve apologies. You opened your mouth. “Well, T’Challa, you see-“ You didn’t finish grabbing your purse and running out the booth. You were RUNNING RUNNING. You were deadass bolting to your car and got in quickly starting the ignition and driving off. You called Isabel on your phone and she picked on the second ring. “Yo.” “Bitch, they are fucking cousins! Cousins! T’Challa and Erik! They are fucking cousins and fucking found out I was messing with both of them! Bitch, both of them showed up to the restaurant!” You shouted even though you were completely out of breath. “Bitch, I got all the way caught up! Shit!” Isabel was laughing her ass off on the other line. You knew she was holding your stomach and tears were probably coming out. You sucked your teeth hard. “I TOLD YOU GOD DON’T LIKE UGLY! I WARNED YOUR ASS BUT FUCK ISABEL, RIGHT? YOU SEE WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU DO CLOWNERY? THE CLOWN COMES BACK TO BITE, YOU STUPID HOE!” She continued to cackle and you rolled your eyes trying to calm yourself so you don’t kill your roommate once you make it back in the condo. “I’m glad you entertained by this shit.” You replied sarcastically as you pulled up to a red light. Isabel continued to giggle and finally calmed down. “I don’t feel sorry for your dumbass. Now what did we learn?” She sung the last part. “I learned that......I gotta start asking these niggas about their families and shit. Now I know, the next time I’m fucking with two niggas at the same time, let me make sure they don’t know each other at all.” Isabel sighed deeply. “Y/N, I love you but you are dumb as hell.”

******************************

Lmao Y/N was out of there like:

Translation:

Umzala - cousin

Tags: @marvelpotterlove @dramaqueenamby @brianabreeze @blackpinup22 @cancerianprincess @brattywriters-anonymous @iamrheaspeaks @blowmymbackout @chefjessypooh @chaneajoyyy @ljstraightnochaser @airis-paris14 @vibranium-chakra @yourfavoritefavorite @nerd-lovely @slimmiyagi @purple-apricots @ohliyaxoxo

[stormbornspawn]

Winterfell - Season 8, Episode 1 Review

My thoughts on every (I think every? let me know if I missed any) scene from the Season 8 premiere episode.

Arrival - there was nothing wrong with this scene at all. Everything about it was expected. The northerners being apprehensive is exactly what I anticipated. Give it up for Jon and Dany looking regal AF in this scene. Good lord. Arya watching this whole scene play out was really great as a call back to season 1. Love the proud mama look from Dany as her babies fly overhead and scare the living shit out of everyone below. And did you notice her hair is in the shape of a heart? Tyrion and Varys banter is always welcomed and encouraged.

Winterfell courtyard - frosty is the only word that really feels right here. Dany’s trying to make a good impression and doesn’t get pressed when nobody kneels. Jon bent the knee - they should be on their knees, but no worries. She’s gonna overlook that cuz it’s her boo-thang’s family. All in good time. Bran coming up with the - we have no time for this - and dropping the Viserion bomb was way too rushed. This is the first issue I have with this episode. Dany’s dragons are often referred to as her children, yet hearing that one of them has been enslaved is completely glossed over and cut to next scene. This should have been a much bigger deal. Not just for Dany, but for everyone. Jon should have needed to take her somewhere to console her...you know, somewhere private...

The Great Hall - how many times does JOn have to remind these people that they are going to die without Dany’s help? Do they not believe him? I realize there are only a few people that have actually seen the army of the dead, but come on. I don’t expect anyone to be swearing fealty to Dany at this point, but a modicum of appreciation would be nice. She abandoned her campaign for this war and lost a dragon. Why did nobody bring this up? Lyanna Mormont needs to sit down - she almost called Jon a bastard and I was about to come up out of my chair. Sansa whinging about food - like, you knew they were coming and you are just now concerned about this? Dany holding her composure through that took some serious control. Her little clap back was good - whatever they want - that’s right, because they’re goddam dragons. I did like that Jon and Dany seemed to inch closer and closer to each other throughout the scene and the little look while Tyrion was talking was cute. Tyrion was well-intentioned, but they still won’t listen.

Sansa and Tyrion - I was waiting for this reunion and it did not disappoint. I would have liked to see Tyrion quell some of Sansa’s concerns as it relates to Dany. I was a tad concerned about the side eye that Bran was giving Tyrion at the end. Bran knows some things, so I’m curious what goods he has on Tyrion.

Jon & Arya - LOVE LOVE LOVE it. I was prepared to be underwhelmed here, but her jumping into Jon’s arms was everything I needed. The talk about family and Sansa being the smartest person Arya knows - yeah, didn’t see Arya siding with Sansa over Jon, but I get it. How is that dynamic of supporting family going to play out when it’s public knowledge that Jon is not their brother, but a cousin? I was also a little miffed that nobody brought up Littlefinger and that Dany and Arya were not formally introduced.

Euron/Yara/Cersei/Theon/GC - This whole segment of the show was just okay for me. I didn’t care for the dialogue. I love Pilou as an actor, but some of his lines were just cringe - I’m gonna put a prince in your belly. Like, wtf? I kind of felt a little bad for Cersei (well, not really) that she had to sleep with him and Lena brought the power in the after math of that scene. She’s brilliant and it will be the travesty of the year if she doesn’t finally get her Emmy. Theon finally rescuing Yara and making the decision to go and fight for the Starks - let’s get that ball rolling...even though I really enjoy Yara, I don’t think we will see her until way later in the season. The GC - and no elephants - wtf? Well, whatever...I would have rather had Ghost - and that’s the second big thing wrong with this episode. There was plenty of time.

Bronn - why? Completely unnecessary to have all the tits and ass in this episode. I know it’s classic GOT, but we are all over that element, I think, and it could have easily been him in a brothel and Qyburn comes to see him without all that sexposition. I don’t like the crossbow thing especially with all the talk about Dany getting hit with an arrow or a well-placed bolt.

Davos/Tyrion/Varys - can we give it up for Davos finally speaking the truth - Dany is a just woman and Jon is an honorable man - yes, please. Get married, make babies, and save the realm. Why Varys and Tyrion weren’t all over that - I don’t know. Tyrion wasn’t completely opposed to it, but Varys seemed rather extra cynical just then.

Jon & Dany - a lot to break down in this scene. Dany knows Sansa hates her and is really concerned that if she can’t even get her to respect her than the north is not going to fall in line either - that’s my interpretation of the scene. Jon saying that Sansa didn’t like them when they were growing up either was cute. Now, why in the hell are my baby dragons not eating? They hate the north? Or maybe, just maybe, they can sense that their momma isnt quite welcome there and they are feeling that emotion. I am shook that Jon got to ride the dragon (well, another one ;)) before learning about his Targ history. I saw this scene as Dany really letting him know, babe, I love you and I am willing to let you babysit my kids if needed. That 1000 years comment is coming back around again for sure. That waterfall and smooching scene was not for me - I ship them and know they are in love - that scene was for anyone that didn’t really pay attention in season 7 or read any interviews from anyone ever to just solidify that they are truly in love. Okay - it was for me too - I’m on my 3,487th rewatch. My prediction for why the dragons are acting funny - they know momma is carrying that man’s baby and they are overprotective. @me

Jon & Sansa - Sansa, why? All these two do is argue and it’s starting to piss me off. She says she trusts Jon and has faith in him, but then doesn’t trust Jon and has no faith in his decisions. They needed Dany and her armies and dragons and he got her to come there. This is why he left in the first place. She does have a valid question though - did you bend the knee for the north or because you love her? It’s a legit question, JON!! Answer. It’s both. That is the big theme of this season - love versus duty - and Jon can do both and will need to balance them both.

Arya/Gendry/Hound - the Hound and Arya was hysterical and I love the banter between Arya and Gendry. It’s like they picked up right where they left off. Can’t wait to see where this goes.

Dany/Sam/Jorah - This is tough for me. I am a Dany stan through and through, but I did not agree with her decision to burn the Tarly’s. At least not both of them. I do find it hypocritical when people chastise her for something that men have done for ages and hold her to a different standard though. I didn’t care for what she did, but I understand it. Sam’s reaction was expected and I do feel very sorry for him. I wish Dany had exhibited a little bit of remorse. Even if she wasn’t sorry, knowing he is JOn’s best friend, should have made her say - I’m so sorry. Just something.

The Reveal - I hated everything about this. Sam didn’t tell Jon as a friend. He told him in a fit of rage to try and turn Jon against Dany. I’m not okay with this. Jon wasn’t having it either. Jon executed Janos Slynt for much less. And Sam is the same person who told Jon they needed Roose BOlton’s help after the Red Wedding and told Olly to forget about his family being slaughtered by the Wildings. It’s a bit different when it’s your own family, but double standards much? Jon wasn’t having it, so I’m good with that - he’s still gonna have some words with his queen later. The reveal pissed me off because I think Sam should have come at it from a place of tenderness and instead it was bitterness about Dany and this news is gonna fuck her up. He doesn’t know they are together and he doesn’t really know her. I was pissed AF with the line - you gave up your crown for your people - would she do the same? Okay - when is someone going to bring up the fact that Jon bent the knee AFTER she agreed to fight for the north? And, please - she abandoned her fight for King’s Landing to turn her armies north and help fight. So, yeah, she would. This was the scene I was most disappointed with. John and Kit did a great job, but the writing was atrocious. All I can see is that they are setting this episode up to carry all the angst forward until the Night King is knocking on their door and then - just as Jon said - it won’t matter.

Umber - what the actual fuck? But I’m glad to see Tormund, Beric, and Edd.

Jaime/Bran - he’s waiting for an old friend!! GAAAHHHH!! I can’t wait to see the shit storm that his presence is going to bring in episode 2. That preview got my dragon momma heated.

Overall, I’d give the episode a 7/10. It was definitely not the strongest episode in the series and I blame that on choppy transitions and weird almost campy dialogue. Episode two better bring a little more grounding to the show, because I was not overly impressed with those 54 minutes. There were some great things that happened - dragon date, arrival, reunions, and how much was my girl Dany smiling this episode?? I’ve never seen her smile this much in seven seasons. Guess a good dicking down and falling in love will do that to you. The dialogue and lack of timeline really killed it for me though. As well as the glossing over of what I thought were really important storylines.

Let me know if you want to discuss.