#blah blah blah saying anything about it could rock the boat and his mom is already convinced i hate her guts for some reason

[thatdemiboymess]

Feeling visceral disgust at being called chic by my partner's mother and despair because I don't think there's any way I can ask her not to call me that without rocking the boat. >:'((

Like. Stop That, Now. Alas I cannot ask her to stop that. >:'((

[thebladeblaster]

Pokémon: the Dark Circuit (aka Vanguard Descends season 2)

Chapter 5 Battle At Sea

Aichi’s current team

Level 79 Wingal (Lycanroc (dusk)) rock

Moves:

Stealth rock

Crunch

Stone edge

Play rough

Level 77 Llew (Golisopod) water/bug

Moves:

Sucker punch

Blizzard

Liquidation

First impression

Level 78 Gancelot (Lucario) fighting/steel

Moves:

Focus blast

Stone edge

Meteor mash

Dragon pulse

Level 85 Soul Saver (Haxorus) dragon

Moves:

Outrage

Iron tail

Dragon dance

Scale shot

Level 100 Alfred (Aegislash) ghost/steel

Moves:

Sacred sword

King’s shield

Iron head

Shadow Claw

After getting out of the bath, they went to the dining room. Like most other rooms in the castle it was unnecessarily large. Aichi didn’t linger on that too long after the food was set on the table. He felt his mouth water as his stomach growled again. He tried to remember his table manners despite his intense hunger. Though, just shoveling food into his mouth was extremely tempting. He resisted the urge and ate at a reasonable pace. Llew however instantly dug in. Wingal sniffed the food cautiously before deciding it was safe and started eating. Gancelot ate more cleanly than the other two, but in their defense they can’t hold silverware anyway. Soul Saver mimicked his table manners similarly to how she did in Alfred’s castle. Speaking of Alfred…

Aichi looked over to where Alfred was; he seemed to have wandered off. He felt a bit worried especially with Ahmes already missing.

“Lucario. Lucario. Lucario. Lucario. Lucario. Lucario. Lucario. Lucario.(Don’t worry about Alfred, he told me he’s just checking up on something.)”, Gancelot told him.

“What would that be?”, Aichi thought.

With Alfred…

“Oh is that you Aichi boy?”, Pegasus asked as the door opened.

“No, it’s Alfred Pendragon. The once and future king of Galar.”, Alfred replied, revealing himself.

“Ah, it talks?!”, Pegasus replied with mock surprise.

“Why are you doing this?”, Alfred asked.

“Is it hard to believe I’m just helping out Aichi boy from the goodness of my heart?”, Pegasus replied.

“I know you already know about him. You knew who were before we ever entered the castle.”, Alfred replied.

“What makes you say that?”, Pegasus asked.

“You didn’t react when Aichi talked to us. I noticed your men giving him weird looks, but you didn’t look weirded out or surprised at all. Also, it’s your tone. I can tell you know more than your letting on.”, Alfred explained.

“Ah, I see you are rather clever Alfred. Yes, I know very well who Aichi boy is. It’s hard not to know when he was able to defeat one of Team Asteroid’s Psyqualia users. I don’t want anything bad if you’re thinking about that. I simply don’t like Team Asteroid. They have spoiled the fun of the whole world. Back in the olden days people used to do fun things like make cartoons that aren’t war propaganda. Cartoons just for the sake of entertainment they were the best. Now, it’s all about the war blah blah and convincing young chaps to risk their lives for their region. Anyway, I want things to go back to a more whimsical and fun time. Giving Aichi boy medical attention, a bath, and food is a small price to pay for that.”, Pegasus explained.

“I see...you don’t seem to be lying. Sorry about being so paranoid, but with the nature of what Aichi is. A lot of people with not so good intentions try to take advantage of him.”, Alfred replied.

“Even his own father only thinks about him as a tool for world domination.”, Alfred thought.

“I don’t blame you, Alfred. It’s just smart for you to be cautious. You all are so protective of him, he definitely seems like he needs it.”, Pegasus replied.

Alfred nodded, that’s why he had originally joined Aichi in the place. He’s young, naive, and has lots of power. A very bad combination. And all the malicious programming placed in his brain certainly didn’t help. Iit messed up his ability to think clearly and made him act very unlike himself when it took hold of him. He seemed to be grappling with it again. He needs positive guidance in his life. So, he wouldn’t end up going down a dark path not unlike his father and even himself at one point. He saw him personally almost like a son. He had gotten rather attached to Aichi.

“Right, goodbye Pegasus. I believe Aichi still intends to leave after dinner to find our lost party member.”, Alfred said, with a light bow before seeing himself out.

With Aichi…

Every few minutes Aichi paused his eating to look over for Alfred. The poor boy was so worried about him. He was very relieved when he saw Alfred float back in. It made him able to relax a bit and focus on filling his stomach. He’s going to need all the energy he can get to find Ahmes. Eventually, they finished and Aichi was given a new bag along with potions, revives, and food.

“Thank you very much, Pegasus. For everything, I don’t really have anything to give to repay you. I hope we meet again one day.”, Aichi thanked, with a polite bow.

“It’s nothing Aichi boy. I was glad to help you.”, Pegasus replied.

Then, they all left Pegasus’s castle and were back into the wilderness of Alola. Aichi put his finger to his head trying to sense around for Ahmes. He didn’t feel him at all. Sure, he felt other Gallades but not Ahmes. Aichi frowned hoping he hadn’t gotten too far or...the worst had happened to him. Aichi shook his head, not wanting to even consider the possibility. He was probably just somewhere else in Alola out of his range.

In Sanctuary town…

Naoki looked around Sanctuary town after school, eventually ending up in front of the Sendou household. Word had already gotten around fast that Aichi didn’t go to school today. He felt a bit worried for him and decided to go to his house.

“Maybe he’s just sick and I’m making a big deal out of this.”, Naoki thought.

He hesitatingly walked up to the door and knocked on it. The door slowly creaked open a little eerily which made Naoki raise an eyebrow. He flinched when a scaly finger pointed at him with a watery bullet starting to form. Naoki couldn’t help, but let out a startled gasp.

“Mom, that's Aichi’s friend.”, Naoki froze, recognizing the voice of Aichi’s sister.

The door opened more and he now saw Shizuka with Elaine by her side who was the one pointing at him.

“Man, your guys’ mom totally gives off gang boss vibes.”, Naoki blurted out.

Shizuka’s eyebrow twitched a bit at the ‘gang boss’ comment and Naoki flinched.

“I’m sorry, but Aichi is not here right now.”, Shizuka informed him.

She still felt very ticked off that the evacuation people wouldn’t let her look for her son. Now, he was lost who knows where and possibly in her ex-husband’s hands. She honestly considered just tying her son to her hip at this point. He always finds a way to get himself in danger. She was finding it extremely difficult to contain her motherly worry for him. She wanted to go out and find him, but she had to take care of her daughter too. She was completely stuck and it was frustrating. She remembered back when things were so much simpler. However, she never regretted having kids just the person she had them with.

“Oh...do you know when he’ll get back?”, Naoki asked.

“No.”, Shizuka replied, feeling her heart sink.

“Okay...uh...see ya later Mrs.Sendou and uh...Aichi’s sister.”, Naoki replied, waving goodbye.

“My name is Emi.”, Emi told him.

Emi looked down very worried about her brother as well. Especially after she kept having those weird dreams of what seemed like Shuka’s world. She never wanted to see Aichi be like how he was in those dreams. She just wanted her dorky older brother that she knew back. She didn’t mind having to deal with waking him up as long as he was safe at home. The dreams still felt like some kind of a bizzaro world to her. Though, Aichi was able to do some of the stuff she saw in them. First of all he could obviously always understand Pokémon. Second, he was crazy strong. She wasn’t quite sure if he was as strong as the dream Aichi. Third, he was able to do that weird absolute lock thing against Shuka just like in the dreams. She had this really bad feeling that wherever he was something was wrong with him. She just hoped when he came back he would still be himself.

In Alola…

Aichi brandished Alfred as a blade. He held up Alfred’s shield in defense when a Turtonator breathed fire at him.

“Wingal use stone edge! Llew use Liquidation! Gancelot use focus blast! Soul Saver use scale shot!”, Aichi ordered.

The Turtonator growled in pain as it was bombarded by sharp rocks. However, he wasn’t the only Pokémon attacking them. Those Pokémon are hit by the others attacks. A Bisharp charged at him and he guarded. With a simple foot movement he got behind him and delivered a hard knock on the back of its head with Alfred’s hilt. They continued on like this for a few days walking through Alola and ending up with fights from the not so friendly locals. Aichi grew increasingly worried as he still had no luck finding Ahmes. They ended up setting up camp a few times with rotating who’s on lookout.

Near Alola…

Our heroes and the Quatre Knights soon approached Alola. Little did our heroes know they were slowly being pursued by someone hiding their power. Yami couldn’t put down this bad feeling he had. He continued looking over the boat, but didn’t see anything. He stopped when he picked up Aichi’s aura and was getting closer and his exact position became a lot clearer. The Quatre Knights arrived before our heroes and quickly flew over the islands looking for Aichi. Though with the massive overgrowth it was rather hard. The trees had grown up super high in some parts and plants covered most of the region. They all flinched when in the distance the Akala island volcano suddenly went off. Lava seeped from the volcano quickly overflowing at an unnaturally rapid rate. The Kantonians looked especially panicked at this especially when they saw the shadow of a titanic Pokémon.

“It’s him!”, Yugi said, sweating nervously.

“That jerk must have followed us!”, Jonouchi said.

The others rushed up as they got a better view of the colossal Pokémon. It had red scales and a grey underbelly. It had lots of spikes on it and strange black markings. It had massive claws, a row of sharp teeth and golden eyes.

“You have got to be shitting me. Is that Groudon?!”, Misaki gasped in disbelief.

“He’s huge! He’s not even dynamaxed, yet he’s that big?!”, Kamui commented, his jaw dropped.

They all paled as a massive fiery blast was sent in their direction. They quickly threw out their Pokémon to try and get out of the boat. Kai threw out Overlord and flew on his back. Misaki threw out Guardian and flew on its back. Kamui threw out Kaiser who for some odd reason could surf. (How it could, was beyond me. Even I don’t know. It just works. I’m not joking, you can actually teach Tyranitar surf.) Miwa flew in Dauntless. Kourin flew on Bridgette. Yugi surfed on his Blastoise with Anzu. Joey threw out his own Charizard which was shiny and flew on it with Honda. The others on the boat hastily jumped onto their own Pokémon who could fly or swim.

Kai, Misaki, and Kamui mega evolved their Pokémon. To their surprise Yugi and Joey were able to as well. Joey’s mega Charizard was mega Charizard Y though. They didn’t have much time to dwell on it though and quickly rushed to stop Groudon. Though, they were at a massive disadvantage right now because they couldn’t use all their Pokémon while over open sea.

“Overlord use hurricane!”, Kai ordered.

“Guardian use psychic!”, Misaki ordered.

“Kaiser use surf!”, Kamui ordered.

“Dauntless use giga drain!”, Miwa ordered.

“Bridgette use giga drain!”, Kourin ordered.

“Catapult use hydro cannon!”, Yugi ordered.

“Red eyes use solar beam!”, Joey ordered.

“Punisher use eruption!”, the boy from before ordered on top of Groudon.

The attacks all collided with each other causing the ground to shake.

Meanwhile on Melemele island (Alola)...

Aichi and his Pokémon minus Alfred stumbled as they felt tremors ripple through the ground. They were in a thick forest and the mountain covered their view.

“What’s going on?!”, Aichi questioned.

“I don’t know, maybe one of the volcanoes erupted?”, Alfred replied.

“Lucario. Lucario. Lucario. Lucario. Lucario. Lucario. (I sense one did, it’s on one of the other islands though.), Gancelot said.

“Ahh!!! One of them erupted! Where is it?”, Aichi asked.

“Lucario. Lucario. (The one right of us.)”, Gancelot told him.

Aichi turned to the direction of the island.

“Lycanroc! Lycanroc! Lycanroc . Lycanroc. Lycanroc. Lycanroc . Lycanroc. Lycanroc. Lycanroc . Lycanroc. Lycanroc. Lycanroc . Lycanroc. Lycanroc. (Oh no! No you don’t! There’s no way you can save all the Pokémon on that island unless you stopped the lava somehow.)”, Wingal yelled, knowing exactly what Aichi’s thinking.

“Then that’s what I’ll do.”, Aichi replied, they jumped as Aichi seemed gone in an instant and Alfred lunged forward nearly catching Aichi before he seemed to disappear.

“Lycanroc! (That stupid idiot!)”, Wingal yelled.

“Haxorus! Haxorus! Haxorus. (We gotta catch up to momma!)”, Soul Saver yelled, running as fast as possible after Aichi.

They all ran and Alfred floated to catch up with their reckless trainer. Aichi was flying high in the air looking over to the island. He had a light blue aura around him and his eyes had rainbow spirals. However now that he was in the air the Quatre Knights spotted him as he flew over to Akala island.

With the other…

Misaki got in closer with guardian who punched Groudon with icy punches. The others continued to launch their attacks at Groudon in different spots. The boy sat on top of Groudon not very impressed as he could hear Groudon cringe in pain. It shot more fire balls and swiped at them with its claws. Large spikes erupted from the ground which nailed Kaiser and Catapult. Thankfully, it didn’t impale them but it did damage them, cutting them multiple times. Their strong shells protected them from being impaled.

“Kaiser!”, Kamui called out.

“Catapult!”, Yugi called out.

They started sinking as the Pokémon that they were riding on was heavily injured. Their hearts beat loudly against their chest.

“Y-yugi!”, Anzu called out, holding out her hand to Yugi.

Yugi reached out for Anzu as his necklace suddenly glowed with a bright golden light. Kamui threw out Tough Boy and recalled Kaiser.

“Yugi!”, Kamui called out concerned, riding over to him on Tough Boy.

“Yu-gi-oh!”, Kamui had no idea where that noise was coming from, but the light got brighter.

Kamui stumbled a bit surprised when Tough Boy shook a bit. He looked up to see Yugi? No Yami, but he wasn’t transparent and others could see him. He was holding Anzu in his arms sitting on the back of Tough Boy with Kamui. Yugi became Yami? Kamui blinked in shock, completely stunned.

“How the heck did you do that thing where you grew taller?”, Kamui asked.

“We’re at a disadvantage in the sea. We need to get to land and attack there.”, Yami told him, as he pointed to land.

“A-alright man.”, Kamui replied, still trying to process what just happened.

They rode Tough Boy over to the shores of Melemele island because there was no lava. As they reached the shores Aichi who was in the air saw Groudon. He gasped in shock seeing Groudon. He quickly flew over to Akala island too focused on saving the Pokémon to notice the other people flying in the sky especially since they were tiny dots compared to Groudon. He had to stop the volcano somehow. He hoped Groudon didn’t cause it. Aichi flew so fast the others didn’t see him they only felt a sharp wind blow past them.

“Woah, that the heck was that?!”, Joey questioned, desperately holding onto Red Eyes with Honda.

The Quatre Knights pursued Aichi who hovered over the Akala volcano.

“Now...how do I stop it?”, Aichi questioned.

He remembered that blast attack he shot from his finger. Maybe he could just destroy the volcano? Wait...that was probably a horrible idea and would be too destructive.

“Stop...stop...how do I make it stop...wait a minute.”, Aichi pondered, before looking at his pointer finger wondering if what he was thinking of would work on inanimate objects like lava.

“Well...I might as well try. Absolute lock!”, Aichi called out.

He shot at the lava hoping for the best. He squealed when Groudon shot fire at him in annoyance.

“Well if Groudon is the cause then...Absolute lock!”, Aichi said, pointing his finger at Groudon.

The others gasped in shock when Groudon suddenly became stuck in place. Two intersecting white rings with a golden lining and a light blue aura surrounded Groudon. Misaki and Kourin’s eyes widened, realizing who shot the attack at Groudon instantly. Aichi looked relieved when the eruption actually did stop and the lava came to a halt. Kamui was too preoccupied trying to get to land. The boy on top of Groudon’s eyes twitched with annoyance.

“Who dares?!”, the boy questioned angrily, looking around.

The aura the rings gave off was unfamiliar to him. No one he knows did this. The boy growled angrily.

“Kill them. Whoever they are.”, the boy said.

Groudon roared as the red orb was activated. Suddenly Groudon was encased in a red gem. A golden omega symbol flashed on the gem. When it broke out it’s markings had changed and now looked like lava. It’s underbelly was now black and it’s spikes became black. Not to mention it was even bigger than before. The boy touched its head and it was surrounded by his murky gold aura and broke through the absolute lock. Aichi’s jaw dropped, looking stunned that Groudon actually broke out.

“That dumb giant! He broke through my absolute lock!”, Aichi sweated nervously as he felt a anger that wasn’t his boil up inside him.

Aichi twitched trying to keep control of himself.

“Calm down!”, he told himself, hoping that would work.

“You! You don’t understand! My pride is being threatened! I am supposed to be the supreme being! First you let yourself get punched by that stupid armored scientist! Second you let us get thrown around by Celebi! Freaking Celebi! Third, that lower Psyqualia user knocked us out! Then some dumb giant is going to breaks through one of my signature moves!”, 003v replied, his voice full of venom in his mind, which made Aichi jump.

Aichi sweated nervously in complete disbelief not understanding 003v’s complete insanity. He didn’t even realize 003v was keeping score. He thought maybe he was insane too for talking to himself.

[lightandwinged]

Short version: Isaac is being evaluated for ASD. Yay.

So!

The twins have been developmentally delayed their entire lives because that’s what happens when you’re born six weeks early. You were supposed to do six more weeks on the inside, you popped out, you’re not ready to breathe or eat or be alive yet, so even four months after you’re born, you end up looking like fatty tumor gremlins with faces instead of human infants:

We’ve had Early Intervention working with them since Isaac was about 3-4 months old because he had a condition called torticollis, which basically meant that he could not turn his head except to the right because of how he was positioned in my uterus (read: with his sister sitting on his head). They’ve both made really great progress throughout their course of therapies, and for the most part, they’re about where they should be without even adjusting for their prematurity.

Or, well. Carrie is.

Isaac had been my rock star, surging ahead in his development and leaving Carrie in the dust, and then he... just wasn’t. What I really noticed, though, was the stimming. He rocks, almost violently at times, and does it all. the. time. And to some extent, young kids all rock--it’s an interesting sensation, they like to stimulate the inner ear, it’s good times. 

Isaac, though, did it a lot. And while I figured “eh, it’s probably nothing” because he is very sweet and social, Early Intervention offered to do an evaluation of him just in case. 

The first evaluation was the Autism Screening Questionnaire, or ASQ. On that one, a score of 0-50(ish? it seems wrong, but that’s what I remember?) is little concern, 50-65 is moderate concern, and 65+ is qualified for the next stage of testing. Carrie had the test because it’s just standard at the evaluation closest to the 18 month mark, and she scored a 30--not even close to autistic. 

Isaac, meanwhile, scored a 95.

What struck me about the ASQ was how many items were things I’d never have considered, things like his absolute lack of a sense of stranger danger or his always stiff muscles or his alternating bouts of constipation and diarrhea. I knew we’d have questions about stimming and eye contact and socialization, but the other items took me by surprise. 

So scoring high on the ASQ qualified him for the M-CHAT, which he’s not technically supposed to have until he’s 18 months (they’re 16 months yesterday), but he scored high enough there that the Early Intervention autism specialist is coming out to do her own eval one of these days to see if he should be fast tracked into the UMass diagnosis program or if we can just add our names to the (very, very, VERY long) list. 

I have a bunch of feelings on the whole thing, most of which are preventing me from even dipping a toe into any group for parents of kids with autism.

First, I’m not even slightly surprised because I’m (not officially diagnosed, but still) on the spectrum, both my parents are on the spectrum, my sister and brother are both on the spectrum, so it would’ve been weirder if none of my kids even had anything besides tendencies. Sam’s in the clear, with nothing to even suggest autism besides dietary issues; Carrie’s in the same boat. But Isaac has always struck me as having that sort of familiar weirdness, like looking into a slightly distorted mirror and seeing my own quirks reflected back at me. 

Which brings me to the second part, that I’m glad he’s my kid and not the kid of a neurotypical parent. It sounds awful to say it that way, but it’s like... I get how his brain is working, what’s behind things like stimming and lacking stranger danger and communication delays; and I get it because that’s how my brain works. So that’s a twofold feeling: glad that if he is autistic, he’s got a mom whose brain works the same way his does; and glad that if he is autistic, I’ve got a kid whose brain works the same way mine does.

And third, even though I don’t want him to have to deal with the obnoxiousness of life with autism (like being so tired at the end of the day from consciously processing so many bits of sensory input that neurotypical people just filter automatically), I’m hoping he scores high enough on his next evaluation to get him into the UMass screening program sooner rather than later, just to let us know one way or another. If he doesn’t score high enough, the wait could be months or years; if he IS autistic, I want to be able to give him what he needs even before that point, whether it’s noise cancelling headphones or just a signal to let us know when he needs a break or is feeling overstimulated; and if he’s NOT autistic, I want to be able to put the matter to bed sooner rather than later.

And FOURTH, I’m afraid of two things: first of him having therapists who will force bullshit like ABA on him and second of Autism Moms (TM). I don’t want to adjust his behavior and make him act more neurotypical; I DO want him to learn coping skills so that if he’s overstimulated or having a hard time, he can help himself, even if I’m not around to help him. I want him to understand the quirks in his brain and be able to work with them instead of fighting against them. And I’m afraid of coming up against brick walls where that’s concerned because everyone will want to force him into a neurotypical mold and I just cannot do that to my baby. He is who he is; he needs people to teach him coping skills, not people to force him into being someone he isn’t.

And related to that, AUTISM MOMS. Every time I encounter one in the wild, it ends up getting ugly, usually with me being like “look, little Brexitleigh has autism, which doesn’t change the fact that THEY ARE A PERSON AND HAVE EMOTIONS, which means that your comment of ‘I wouldn’t wish my autistic child on my worst enemy’ WAS A REALLY DICKISH THING TO SAY.” And then they claim that I don’t understand autism and can’t possibly be anything near to autistic and blah blah blah.

I am all about the parenting village, but I swear to Jesus, Mary, and Joseph that if I have to deal with Autism Moms (TM) at any point in this journey, I’m going to absolutely lose it and destroy something.

So that’s where we are.

[black-lagoon-rokuro]

Wedding

Wedding I always hated the idea of weddings and marriage. What's the point? All marriage is a piece of paper that controls your life. Weddings are just a waste of money. Whatever. Rock said he wanted one. Thought I owed him after drinking half to death a while back. Since I had Hana, I've been drinking less. Instead of it being everyday it's closer to every month. And each month it's a fucking binge. Each time I drink I make sure I'm away from Hana. Just in case. Although, I'm not an angry drunk. I'm all giggly and happy. Last time, I was hugging Rock and board line panicking over how much I love him. God I didn't want him to hear that. It's embarrassing in a dumbass way. When it comes to the marriage part, ugh. Rock proposed way back when I was pregnant. I said yes obviously. Mainly because I was pregnant. We never were legally married since he went into a coma and shit. Then we had to worry about baby Hana and ugh. It just never crossed our minds. Either way, we still aren't. Since we aren't even legal citizens. Hana is the only one in Lagoon that is. That's just because of Sis. Blah blah. It still feels like we're married. Just without the bullshit. The ripoff church was perfect for us. Irony. There wasn't a lot of people here. Just Lagoon, Sis, Chang, Eda, Yolanda and Ricardo was the preacher. Kinda embarrassing having them see me like this... I'm in a dress. Skirts are fine every once in a while, but fucking dresses. Ew. It's puffy and long. Ugh. Even got makeup on. I actually look kinda nice. Doesn't feel like me. ------ Never thought I'd be a groom at a wedding. It's funny. Seeing me like this. The wedding is overly simple. No best man, brides maids, or anything. But there's cake! An 8 layered cake! That's better than I thought I'd get. I'm surprised Revy agreed. Drunk her brought it up. So there's that. To tell the truth, it's kind of hard to enjoy this. My mother always wanted to be at my wedding. She always talked about it whenever I'd get a girlfriend in middle school. It's foolish but this is making me miss her. Knock knock knock. "Come in." Hana came in. Her pink dress matching the hair tie holding her hair in a ponytail. Whenever she did that she looked more like her mother. "Dad, I saw mom. She looks really pretty!" Hana said as she came closer. "I'm sure she does." I replied while looking at her dress. "Yeah. I even helped her pick out the dress!" I picked her up and asked, "Now are you sure you got her in a dress?" Hana just giggled. There's something special about Hana. She's probably the smartest 5 year old I've ever met. She's always able to sense when I'm upset. "Dad, I thought you wanted this." Hana said while looking at me. "I do, silly. I'm just missing my mom. Nothing to worry about." Hana kept looking at me. She got Revy's eyes but they can still look innocent at times. "It's ok, Dad. I'm sure she misses you." I kissed her cheek and put her down. Hana went out into the aisle. "They're coming, everybody. They're just being girls and worrying about how pretty they look." ---- Ugh. So it's actually happening. Chang said he'd 'hand me off'. Since he's the closest I've got to a dad. Felt so prissy like this. Whatever. It'll make Rock happy for a bit so I guess it's worth it. Chang opened the door. He smiled when he looked at me. "I know. Fucking priceless, right?" He shook his head and took off his sunglasses. "No. You look cute, Two hands." Just rolled my eyes. "We going?" He lead me out there. Ugh. They're already staring. Benny even had his jaw drop. Heh. Ok. ----- Seeing her there made everything about my mom fade from my mind. Her eyes were softer and she looked amazing in a dress. Maybe it was just the color red. I couldn't look away. The way her hair looked. Her eyes. Even the tiny blush she had made me stare. Ricardo closed my mouth for me. "Hey, punk." Revy said when she got up to me. All I could muster was a weak "h-hi." She smirked at that. My heart was beating fast. God. And I thought all that movie shit was just for jokes. I felt like my heart was melting. Fuck, she's so beautiful. I had to fight the urge of kissing her right there. "I could just ramble up here about marriage and love and all that, but let's skip to the vows." Ricardo said. Thank god. I probably look stupid up here drooling over my wife. "I'd normally say ladies first, but he's already taking his script out." Hana said that. Looking at her just made me smile. She's such a beautiful and sweet girl. Can't believe I made her. "Revy, There's no graceful way to start this so I'll just start. Before I met you, my life was a mess. I was in Japan, with a boring job, a dead son and in a relationship with an abusive meth addicted girl. My family didn't talk to me. I was so isolated from them that I was a stranger to my own blood. Nothing in my life was going right. My girlfriend at the time was going crazy. Her sister was my only friend and even that was just out of sympathy. It wasn't until the night that my girlfriend tried to kill me that I realized how empty I really felt. Although she tried to kill me, I got a ring anyway. I thought I was too weak to leave her. I thought she would just kill me eventually and that was unfortunately what I wanted. I wanted to die. Instead, I went to work that day after getting the ring. My boss sent me to Thailand to send a disk. I didn't pay attention to details at the time but the details are in my head so clearly now. I was listening to Pink Floyd and was partially suicidal. When I stepped out of the boat, I got a punch to the face. It's funny now. Now that we're getting married. You took me as a hostage. Those first weeks were awful. I thought you would kill me. But no. Instead, we started drinking together. That was great. Since I never drank and enjoyed it before. Then that escalated into a friendship. Now we're here. I'm not really sure how we ended up here. We're here with an amazing daughter and a fun family in general. All I can really say is that I'm glad that you saved me from myself and the stupid decisions and I love you." Everyone was shocked. I never told anyone besides her about Ai or my son. Revy looked at me with wide eyes when I brought it up. Now she's looking at me with a darker shade in her cheeks. ----- Fuck. I didn't write anything that beautiful. Ugh. Guess I gotta read my piece of shit letter now. Should've known he'd write something that good. "Wow... okay. Now, it's you." Ugh. I hate my vows now. "Rock, We both know I got no idea how to fucking write this, but here goes. I care about you, obviously. It's kinda retarded how I put things. I know it's gotta be hard putting up with my bullshit and my anger. Not to mention the drinking. Either way, I'm not as bad as I was so hopefully that means something. Everyone in this room thinks that you're useless without me. It's got some truth to it. Since without me, you would've been dead a long ass time ago. But they're wrong. Without you, I would be disgusting. None of these fucks know the half of it, but you do. So I'll let you connect the dots. Without you, I would've killed myself with liquor by now. I would've gotten into more gunfights and wouldn't have as many laughs. The biggest thing I gotta thank you for is Hana. Without her, I wouldn't understand as much as I do now. Hana is the best person to ever come into my life and she wouldn't exist with you. I don't know what else to say, but I love you and I love Hana and I love this fucking family." Everyone in the crowd clapped after that. Heh. After that, Hana was supposed to give us the rings but Rock kissed me before that happened. There was more clapping and Eda whistled. Don't think any of them saw us kiss before. Whatever. After that, Hana gave us the rings and we walked out towards the cake. Eda nudged Hana and said, "You should leave your parents alone tonight." I just rolled my eyes at that. Not such a bad wedding after all.

[justjoeyyy-blog-blog]

Day 11-15

5-24-17 Day 11: I planned to wake up early to lay out but I couldn't get myself out of bed until 1. I laid on the 12th deck which is allowed. I had to wear a dress up there though. It's annoying. The 2 emo kids saw me and their faces lit up. They ran over to me and laid out with me for a little. They even brought me lunch. They're so cute. They also showed me this really cool view at the front of the boat. They said they're dating now and are gonna save up money to visit each other. They're literally like the same person it's so weird. I'm finally starting to figure out my way around as well as the rules. One of my jobs in circle c is to write notes to the parents of the kids. I've done 8 this cruise which is the goal amount we're supposed to aim for. Then I have to go slip the note under their door. Kinda weird but whatever. Every time a cruise leaves we have a meeting with all of youth staff and Carolina (our supervisor) reads all the emails she got from the former guests and their thoughts on the staff. If you get 10 compliments then you get a day off. We have new people coming tomorrow. Which means I need to figure out how to get the new schedule. I also have to fill out some paperwork tonight because it's the last night of the cruise. Which is also confusing. And on top of that I have to clean the entire club. There's a checklist. And when I mean clean I mean everything. Even the clock is on the checklist...lol well I'm gonna take a quick nap. I have to open the club in 50 minutes. It's 1:42am. Just had to say bye to my kiddos :( one of the moms came in and said her daughter and her friend absolutely adored me. She said they talked about me the whole trip and loved the note I slipped under their door. They tipped me $20 too which was so sweet. One of the girls was so sad when we had to say bye. I'm like a big teenager to them. Filling out my reports wasn't as hard as I thought. Just takes extra time. Tomorrow we have to be out of our cabins from 10-1130 because they're working on the air conditioning. Which is so freaking annoying. I have to go set up the club tomorrow morning too so that the new people can come in and look around. I'm also port manning tomorrow so I can't get off :/ I have to work the slide tomorrow too which will be interesting. I wish I was getting off. Rain and Eleanor are going to the outlets and I really wanted to go. Tomorrow is gonna be a long day. 5-25-17 Day 12: it's my mommos birthday today. Wish I was at home with her to celebrate :( I woke up early this morning to shower and the water is off. So that's nice. Guess I'll just be gross and smelly until it turns on. I work in an hour at the slide. I'm gonna try and sleep a little more until I go. Well it's freezing out and cloudy as can be. No one even went down the slide. It's too cold to get into the water. Had to eat in the crew mess hall instead of staff today. Staff closed before I could get there. The crew mess hall consists of all men from other countries who work behind the scenes. They stare at me like I have 3 eyes every time I walk in there so I've learned not to make eye contact with anyone. I sat alone and ate mashed potatoes, which has really been my only meal so far besides when I'm allowed to eat on lido. The food they give us is terrible and I'm scared to even try it. So mashed potatoes and bread it is for now. Sometimes they have really good rice though. All the meat is mystery meat so I'm scared to even try it. I just took a shower and now I'm laying in bed. I have the cabin to myself right now which is nice. I don't get service in my room which really sucks. So I can either go sit in the mess hall and have everyone stare at me or I have to put my uniform on and find somewhere on a different level that has service. There's so many rules it's ridiculous. I break them everyday. I took an apple from the mess hall today ❌ I hugged one of my kids goodbye ❌ I chewed gum while working the slide ❌ and I'm pretty sure I wore the wrong shirt. They still don't have my uniform so I've been switching between the same 3 shirts and 2 pairs of yoga pants...it's getting kinda gross. It's really hard to do laundry here too. They're always taken. I'm gonna take a nap. I have to be up in an hour ugh. So because today is embarkation for a new group of cruisers, circle c is open from 11-6 for guests to come in and check it out. No one is in the club working, it's just open. So at 6 I'm supposed to go lock the doors until we open for registration. I just went to lock the door and the place was a fucking mess. There were rubber bands covering the floor (from an art project that was put away in the closet that someone must've got out themselves), there were about 12 different board games out and all of the cards to the games were on the ground and mixed up. There was also a drawing of a penis on one of the art projects I put out for show. There was food on the couches and just shit everywhere. It's upsetting to know that the kids I'll be hanging out with for the next few days would do this. I got to meet my kids tonight and they're seriously so much fun. There's 90 kids in my clubs age group for this cruise which is insane. So we have this rule that 11 year olds are allowed to move up to my 12-14 club if they request it. We had a family come in and their daughter wanted to get moved up. I said it was okay. The parents were not too happy with the come and go as they please policy. They asked if I could walk her to the bathroom which is not allowed. I'm not a babysitting service. I'm there for fun. So the parents left and the girl came up to me and asked if the music we play is anything different than Christian rock...I explained to her that we don't play that kind of music...she then lectured me about cuss words and how she's not allowed to listen to the kind of music we play in the club. She then went on to tell me different words she made up to replace cuss words. She also questioned me on the movie playing in the club because if it's pg-13 she can't watch it...then cover your eyes like wtf. It was on the small TV too that no one even watches. Then one of the 14 year old boys was talking about "French kissing" his girlfriend. The 11 year old got in his face and completely went off on him on how inappropriate that is. The little girl then asked "do your parents know?!" The boy responded and said yeah my dad does. The girl goes and what about your mom. The boy replied and said uhhhhhh she died so I don't have a mom. It was so heartbreaking to hear as I sat in the background. Another boy then interrupted trying to stand up for the 14 year old boy. That boy, who looks like a mini Justin Bieber, went on to tell the girl that there's nothing wrong with that. The girl then got in his face going off about how she doesn't need a boyfriend in her life and she has 4 goals in life: to go to Harvard, Yale, and Stanford, become a doctor, become a vet, and love god. The boy then teased her about her boy name in which she retaliated with something having to do with Jesus crossing a river? Lastly, the Justin Bieber boy responded with there is no god, in which the little girl went OFF. I just sat there not knowing what to say. I really need to talk to the girls parents because she is way too immature to be with these older kids. She needs to be in club ocean. I just don't know how to say that to the parents without sounding rude. Ugh it was seriously so awkward. After all the chaos we went and played man hunt on the sports deck. When I left all the kids yelled we love you! It was seriously so cute. They said I'm really cool 😋it's 1:44am and I'm just laying in bed. I put some pics of me and my kids on my wall. We take pictures on captains dinner night and I get to keep one. I still don't have a uniform so I've been wearing the same 2 pairs of pants for almost 2 weeks and it's totally disgusting. On Sunday I switch to camp ocean which will be interesting. I really love being with the older kids but I also like having a different schedule which comes with working in camp ocean. 5-26-17 Day 13: I think it's time for me to say something to my new roommate about her bf sleeping over every night. He leaves our room at 530 am every morning which obviously wakes me up. He also snores and moans in his sleep. I randomly wake up and hear her whispering but he's snoring at the same time so I'm confused. I'm in the mess hall right now eating. Mashed potatoes as always. I added carrots and ranch to the mix today. The amount of food these people eat is insane. It's like they've been starved for a week. This lady just walked by me with 6 chicken breasts...and the girl at the table next to me has an entire plate of crispy chicken and mashed potatoes as well as another plate full of cake and a cup filled with ice cream. Oy. Today has been a long freaking day. I just went to the crew bar and Rain and Alina left. So of course I was awkwardly stuck talking to some older guy I didn't understand at all. Then another guy tried to talk to me asking if I had a bf and blah blah blah. Not interested at all. So I made up some dumb excuse. One of them told me a story of a time he was in Brazil and a car pulled up to him and shot the man sitting next to him in the car. I barely understood him so I just shook my head and was like oh wow omigod damn blah blah blah. Today we had a team meeting and said bye to one of our members, Reuben. He's seriously such a fun guy and reminds me of one of my best friends that moved away. Like actually a replica. We all hung out and got to eat a special dinner because of it. After everyone left, me, Reuben, and Rain stayed and sang karaoke for over an hour. Me and Reuben sang tons of songs and he harmonized. It was a freaking blast. After that I went and bought alcohol in the gift shop. It's so freaking cheap and then on top of that we get a discount. Also, when I first started my supervisor told me I needed to take out some of my earrings. After a week of not having some in I decided to put them back. One of my piercings I've had for over 2 years now. When I went to put the earring back in it was totally starting to close up. I had to jam my earring into the hole to re-pierce it and now it feels like that feeling when you first get it pierced. It hurts so bad. At least my forehead doesn't hurt anymore from banging it on that metal shelf. I do have a weird huge bruise on my arm that people keep asking me about that's kinda concerning. It's in between the size of a golf ball to a baseball. So pretty freaking big. I'm super excited tomorrow is a port day. We have a drill at 10 though :/ like wtf I can't catch a break. Hopefully the weather is nice because I really wanna lay out. It's 2:51am. Either there's a heard of elephants on the floor above me or there's a weight lifting competition. No sleep for me tonight. Hey at least my roommates boyfriend isn't snoring. I probably just jinxed myself though. 5-27-17 Day 13: Today has been a pretty good day. The roommates bf woke me up this morning at 530. And then she woke me up at 630. The alarm definitely does the trick, and then she turns on the light and it's all downhill from there. Me, rain, and Eleanor went to a "resort" today in Ensenada. It was my first time going there. It's a shit hole. We took a taxi for 5 dollars to a hotel with a pool. We get in free there because of the cruise and we also get a towel to use for free. It was nice to wear my own clothing and not have to worry about rules and wearing my name tag. I wore sunscreen too for all of you that give me shit. Before going to the hotel we had an employee drill which was chaos. For some reason my info in the system is wrong so I had numerous adults coming up to me saying I was in the wrong spot when really I was. I already feel like I stick out and then on top of that I have people calling my name at an all employee safety drill. Wonderful. I had some trainings today which were okay. And then I got to eat at kids dinner. I had stuffed mushrooms which were freaking amazing. I hate mushrooms but these were great. Now I'm laying in bed. I have to be at the club in an hour. My roommate is in here too. I don't know how to tell her that I don't want her bf sleeping in here. It's so awkward. I haven't had a good nights sleep since I've been here and it's taking a toll. I finally got my uniform today thank god. Half of it wasn't even right though. It says the wrong club so that's annoying. But I'll get it all eventually. Tomorrow I start work at 12 so no getting off the boat for me :/ The big group of kids in my club wanted to hang out with someone who wasn't allowed in so they didn't come tonight. Which really sucks. They didn't even stop by to say bye or anything :/ The religious girl in my club went at it again with a boy. In which he responded "you'll be my trash person one day". I just sat there not knowing what to say or do. She was totally instigating him and was the one that started the entire altercation. After work I went to the crew bar. It's our friend Reuben's last day tomorrow. He's seriously such an amazing guy. I've only known him for 2 weeks and I feel like we've been friends forever. We heard we have 2 guys coming into youth staff so that will be good. We have too many girls! I just got back to my cabin and it's 2:30. And my roommates boyfriend is snoring. I'm gonna say something tomorrow. I feel like it's just common curtesy to not bring your bf home every. Single. Night. Ugh I don't know how to make it stop. And on top of that there's all these loud noises outside and above. It seriously sounds like bombs or fireworks are going off. It's so loud. I'm so confused. One second I hear my roommates boyfriend snoring and then the next second I hear them kiss. And then one second later he's literally already snoring again. And they'll randomly whisper and then snoring seconds later. Like wtf are you talking about at 2:38 in the morning. And he moans in the middle of the snoring it's just freaking me out. 5-28-17 Day 14: woke up at 530 to my roommates boyfriends alarm. Then woke up at 630 to her alarm/turning the lights on. Then she woke me up at 930 by coming in the room and leaving the door wide open...and everyone is super loud in the hallways. I swear she's fucking dumb. I asked her if her bf could start staying in his room more. I said he snores and it keeps me up. Her reply "he snore? I do not know that. I talk to him". Ugh. I worked the water slide and then did registration in camp ocean. That's where I'll be this week. We have some re-signs that came on today, one including an assistant supervisor. She's much nicer than Carolina. Just now I was standing outside of camp next to the elevators talking to my mom and Carolina gave me the death stare. I was probably breaking some dumb rule. I don't get good service down where we live though so I have to go up higher. These days feel like eternity. They go by soooo slow. Today we had 3 new people come. One is from Michigan. She's interning. Another is the assistant supervisor and she's from the phillipens (however you spell it) but she's really sweet. And the last girl is one of our staff members sister. Also from phillipens. It's 10:21 pm and I am in bed. This hasn't happened since I've been here. I worked with that returning employee today. I could tell she wasn't too happy with me not knowing any of the games...even though she knows I've never worked at camp ocean and the only time I did was my first freaking day. She told me I need to learn them. I was with the 9-11 year olds tonight. They're really sweet and call me Joey Kanga(roo). I can tell a few of the little girls really like me. I heard one of them telling her mom about me lol. Elle and Rain are already sleeping :/ of course I'm not tired right now. I need to make some more friends that I can do stuff with like go to a comedy show or something. Cuz on a cruise ship 10:00 means the night is just beginning. It's hard though when you can't communicate with people through phone. I told the new girl she could stop by when she gets off. I wanna be there for her because I was just in that position 2 weeks ago. I'm really starting to freak out about being on this boat for so long. I know 3 months is short compared to everyone else but I've only been here for 2 weeks and it feels like forever. There's times when I'm having so much fun though and I look around and have to remind myself that I wanted this job so badly. There's so many amazing things I get to do while working here but being away from my family and friends is hard. And especially my 2 kitties :( ugh I miss them so much. Things are definitely getting easier, I just think I'd have more fun if I had more friends to do stuff with. Eleanor is leaving in 2 weeks :/ and her boyfriend is leaving this week. Hopefully me and the new intern can hang out a lot considering we're both learning still. We just went and got ice cream. There's so much I wanna help her with. She knows one of the other interns on the boat so she's in a better position than I was. She's in a temporary room where the crew works. It looks very different than staff. They also share a community bathroom...staff have many more privileges than crew does. Crew has a bigger mess hall though but we're allowed to eat there too, which consists of men staring at me. The people here are so fucking rude. These men will run into me while I'm walking or step in front of me. No one says excuse me or sorry. Also no one knows to walk on the right side of the stairs and the right side of the hallway. The kids I work with are more polite than these grown ass rude men. Also NO BOYFRIEND TONIGHT WOOT WOOT. 5-29-17 Day 15: I was quiet as always last night and this morning just to find out my roommate slept out lol. I had tendering at 830 this morning. No one told me what the hell it was so thankfully Eleanor called me this morning and told me where to go and what time. It's basically standing by the elevators and telling people where to go to get off the boat. For 3 hours. It's ridiculous. This is a mess. We have to take tender boats while in Catalina which causes all of this chaos. And people are told all different things so it's confusing to the guests. Right now I'm taking a little break. Of course the one time I have free I'm not getting service. I got to eat lunch at lido today. I tried the burrito bar for the first time. Kinda like chipotle. It was pretty good and actually something somewhat healthy for once. Work was good tonight. I worked with the returning sister again who once again questioned me on why I didn't know anything. She knows I've never done this shit like give me a fucking break. One of the kids had autism so of course I automatically fell in love with him. He started dancing so I was totally cheering him on and then his pants ripped. He instantly grabbed his crotch and I knew if I didn't help right away there could be a possible meltdown within seconds. I asked him if he was comfortable with the pants or if he wanted to change into new ones which is what he wanted. While we waited for his parents (who never answered their phone) I gave him my jacket to wear around his waist. I told his mom about my job back at home and asked if I would be back tomorrow. Hopefully he won't wear his "church pants" as he calls them tomorrow. After work I went to the comedy show with the new intern britny (the one I took under my wing). She actually moved in with the other intern who is part of the fun squad. We also went to the comedy show after. The comedian has a son with autism so of course I had to tell him about my job back at home. He gave me a huge hug. Then me and britny went to the crew bar which is pretty cliquey. One of our girls was there. I thought she was from the phillipens this entire time and she was totally offended when I told her I had no idea she was from Indonesia. She was laughing though. She tells the kids her name is Jennifer Lopez. She has 3 kids back at home and one is only 3 months old...her husband is on this boat too. Her kids live back at home with her sister. It's so crazy. After that we went and got pizza at the lido deck but the pizza guy gave us the weirdest look when we got up there it was so uncomfortable. Me and britny just stood there in silence because we were so taken aback. Tomorrow I don't start until 2. I'll probably sleep until then honestly. I have to do laundry tomorrow. I only have 1 pair of underwear left. And my room smells like dirty socks. I think it's my shoes that I have to wear everyday. Pretty gross. I'm praying there's a washing machine open. Also, today while I was working with the new sister girl she was talking to one of the parents about her son and she kept saying "she" and "her". The phillipinos don't know the difference between he she him her. It's like comical. So the one is staring at her all confused. These are grown women and they don't know the difference, and then back at home this is a program I work on with my kids at work.