#blah blah blah i can harp on this forever anyway

[tizzymcwizzy]

these are my final illustrations for a writing/research class and my topic was on hustle culture and the romanticization of overworking,,

it's okay to be kind to yourself!! your value doesn't come from how productive you are, i promise, you get to determine your own worth, and sometimes it's just not worth hurting yourself to achieve your goals

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #309

“show me how to lie - you’re getting better all the time  /  and turning all against one is an art that’s hard to teach.”

Have you ever played Jackbox Games? If so, which ones of their party games are your favorites? No, but I looooove watching Mark and The Boys play them on charity streams. They can make up the funniest shit. I can't recall the name of the specific one I'm thinking of... but I enjoy watching most of them. I do think one or two are boring, though. Do you have artistic friends? If so, have you got their artwork displayed? I have some very talented friends, but I don't have anything of theirs displayed somewhere. Have you ever considered pole dancing? Why/why not? No. It takes an incredible amount of strength, plus confidence I don't have. That and I'm just not into it. What's the last thing you fixed yourself? Uhhhhhhh bitch I couldn't tell ya. Are there any CDs you've held onto for sentimental reasons? No. Did you read the Barbie magazines with comics made with the actual dolls? "I didn’t know that was a real thing." <<<< Me either. What's the last thing you knitted? I've never knitted before. Who was your first online friend? Emma. :') She was the first person who joined my RP mob back in the Animal Planet forum days. Why do you take surveys? Be honest. Boredom, distraction, and sometimes I just wanna ramble about whatever. Does mail get delivered to your door or do you have a mailbox outside? Our mailbox is by the side of the road at the end of our driveway. Your doorbell rings out of the blue. What's your reaction? Let Mom answer it. I don't answer the door ever if I don't expect someone or can peek outside and don't recognize them. Are all the lamps in your home LED or other energy saving lights? I don't know. Do you prefer writing by hand or typing? Typing. I can't write very long at all before my carpal tunnel flares up. Think of one of the biggest decisions you've had to make in your life...If you made a different choice, how different would your life be now? I'd be dead, that simple. Have you ever taken a course on CPR? No. What makes you laugh most effortlessly? You can guess it pretty easily. What makes you cry most effortlessly? I make it a rule that I "can't" listen to "Eternally Yours" by Motionless In White because there hasn't been even ONE occasion where it hasn't made me cry, even when I was stupid enough to binge it because it's just a good song. I've broken that "rule" before because I do just genuinely enjoy the song, but I know the pain truly isn't worth it, so I haven't heard it in a decently long time. What is the best smell in the whole world? Cinnamon rolls, probably. My body wash is currently that kind of smell, and Jesus Christ it's the best part of showering. Do you wear a watch? No. Can you tell time from an analog clock? Yes. What a time it'll be when kids can't anymore... Is there a number or a combination of numbers that feels important to you? Only dates, but not numbers themselves. What is the most socially awkward thing you've done? *gestures at my life as a whole* Is your computer decorated in any way? No. If your old class was to have a reunion, would you attend it? No. No. I don't want to relive my high school experience; it would be too painful for me to willingly walk into. What's the worst thing that's ever happened to you? I would say "the breakup," but technically it was letting him basically own me and my every neuron of joy. Not by his will of course, but my own. I was stupid and just... handed those rights over without really realizing it. I can harp forever and ever and EVER about the importance of making sure you own yourself and your emotions. Do you ever donate money to charity? If so, which charity and why? Blah blah blah, I don't get an income, you know this. Whenever I do, I 100% plan on donating to every charity stream Mark ever hosts again, as well as some other people's. I'd love to donate to a lot of places. Would you ever want to get married? If so, why? Yes, because society has made it too instilled in me that it's just like... this ultimate validation of "forever" with your partner, even though I know you can be just as or even far more invested in your relationship without marriage. The only *true* benefit of marriage imo is for legal and financial reasons, but yeah, I still want it. Like I said, it's too deeply embedded in that brain of mine that it's a relationship goal. Why do you live the way you do? I'm not even living the way I want to, so... Have you ever abused an animal? No, and I say "fuck you" with every ounce of sincerity and loathing if you have. Do you think animals are less important than humans? If so, why? Nope. We share this earth and grew from the same roots, so what *really* makes us better? We might be smarter (generally) and more developed as the apex predator, but that does not equate to being more important than, say, even a gnat. That creature has the exact same level of rights to be here as the human species does. I could go on and on and on about this topic. How close was the last person close to you who has died? Not extremely, but she was still important to and loved by me. Grandma and I were very, very different and butted heads more than once, but her love was unconditional, and she showed boundless kindness to others. She showed a courage I see as unmatched in the face of death. I truly, deeply, in the very core of my heart hope she is at peace and experiencing all joys she ever wished for. How does death in general make you feel? Well, it depends on how I'm looking at it. I fully accept it is an inevitable phase in simply existing that none of us will ever evade, so it's not exactly terrifying to me, though of course I don't want it anytime soon. If I'm thinking about people I love dying, I definitely get sad about it and scared of that possibly eternal separation. Is there a person you absolutely loathe? If so, why do you loathe them? Not that I know personally, no. Has anyone ever told you that you're rude? If so, what caused it? No; I think I'm very mannerly, honestly. Have you ever seen a therapist? I've regularly seen therapists since I started middle school. I advocate for everyone to have one, honestly, whether you have a mental illness or not. Have you ever been homeless? In technical terms, yes, but a friend let me stay with her until Mom and I settled into a new place. Have you ever been completely broke? That's the actual story of my life. Well, not me personally considering I've never had to take care of myself financially, but my mom struggles very, very badly with this, and mind you, she's frugal. Just disgustingly underpaid when she worked, and her current status with disability isn't exactly incredibly generous. I live under her roof, so. Have you ever had a steady job? No. Have you ever needed a loan? If so, what for? Have you paid it back? Yes, for school, and no. I do NOT want to know how in debt I am with schools. Have you ever wanted to go to space? Not seriously, no. What's the weirdest thing you've ever seen or heard? I am 99.99% sure mine and Jason's old roommates were having some ~kinky~ sex once while I was alone on the couch against their bedroom. Preeeetty sure the girl was making meowing sounds. They were furries (who I want to emphasize have zero judgment from me; I actually think they're very brave and creative), so that was... something I definitely wasn't used to hearing, haha. What has been the most exciting moment of your life thus far? Probably when Mark N O T I C E D me on Tumblr by reblogging a gif I made of him and his pupper, and I LITERALLY struggled to sleep for three days lmfaoooo. How many birds can you name just by looking at them? Uhhhh a pretty decent amount, I'd say. Which birds are most common around your neighborhood? Crows, sparrows, cardinals and bluejays if you're lucky, robins... pretty basic stuff like that. What do you think is the most interesting sea creature? Octopi are absolutely fascinating with their intelligence. How do you reset your head to zero, so to speak? Take a nap. That usually works. Have you ever gone exploring an abandoned building? Yeah, I love that shit and really wish I could do it more. Bring my camera, too. Are there any foreign television shows you enjoy watching? Some animes. Do you have any clocks in your house that chime when the hour changes? Do those types of clocks annoy you? No. I actually quite like them, though. Has anyone ever let you borrow some of their music, promising you'd love it, but you really didn't? Did you lie to the person and agree, or tell the truth, that you hated it? My dad lent me his Shinedown CD once clearly without thinking I could just look up the album online, haha... He's an old clueless man, leave 'im be. But anyway, of course I listened to it for him and I enjoyed it; I especially loved "The Human Radio," "Kill Your Conscience" and "Pyro." Have you had the same doctor pretty much your whole life, or have you went to a bunch of different ones over the years? Have you ever been to the doctor thinking something was horribly wrong with you, but it turned out to be something minor? Mine has changed a few times, but I haven't had "a bunch." As for the second question, not to my recollection. Is the background on your phone a default picture, or a picture you took? What is the picture of? The lock screen is a pastel-styled list of mental health reminders: "i am strong, i am loved, i am enough." My home screen has been some adorable meerkat pups for a while, which I didn't take. What is your favorite type of print (ex: zebra, stripes, argyle)? Do you have a lot of things with this print on it? Ummmm maybe plaid? No. Are there any stores you feel uncomfortable going into (ex: if you dress girly, do you feel uncomfortable going into Hot Topic)? Are there any stores that you refuse, or just never go in to? The only situation I could think of would be a sex shop. That'd be so fuckin uncomfortable. What is your favorite brand of clothing? Is this a brand that is sort of expensive, or is it pretty affordable? I'm heavily biased towards Cloak, haha. I just support anything and everything Mark takes part it, and it's his and jacksepticeye's business. I have one shirt and it's genuinely great quality and reall comfy. I wouldn't call its products expensive, but they're not cheap, either. What person do you text the most? My mom or Sara, depending on the day. Do you have any pictures that always make you laugh, or cry? Are they digital pictures, or printed pictures? What is the significance? No. Not pictures I have anymore, at least. Have you ever eaten raw pumpkin? Omg I would never. I hate the flavor of any sort of pumpkin food. Does your car have a name? I don't have my own car, but Mom jokingly calls hers "Olivia." Who was the last person you made plans with? One of my sister's in-laws that's actually the mother of one of my closest friends contacted me to plan some family pictures. What is the rudest thing someone has done recently towards you? I can't think of anything recent. How do you feel about your hair right now? It needs to be trimmed and dyed. How fast have you driven a car? I think accidentally leaning towards 80 on a highway. When you're hanging out with friends + you become bored, do you just leave or endure the boredom? Given I can't leave without a car, I deal with it. What did you last plug into your computer? What were you doing with this? The charger for obvious reasons. What color(s) have you dyed your hair? Red, purple, black, then red, purple, and lighter brown highlights. I really wish I could dye it more and actually have the color stick... Was your first kiss perfect? It was to me. What song did you hear last? I have "Over The Mountain" by Ozzy on now. (: Does anyone have any blackmail on you? No. Have you ever walked into the guys' bathroom? HA, once during a teacher work day (my mom was an assistant) at my elementary school. My sisters and friends went in there to be little "rebels." I remember being mega confused with urinals, haha. Then as a teen and adult, I've been in the dance studio's boy's restroom as well as a church's to help Mom clean. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? My therapist. Are you shy? I am VERY shy. Are you talkative? Generally, no, but when I'm in a very good mood, I tend to be. Has your most recent ex ever seen you cry? Oh jeez, she saw me wail once. When was the last time you were called "cute"? I'm not sure. Would you rather be called "hot", "cute" or "beautiful"? "Beautiful." Do you have a little sister? Yep. Definitely not "little" anymore, though. About to have her Master's in social work... How many arguments have you had with the last person you kissed? Given our childhood, we've fought a lot, but mostly just as kids over very, very stupid things. As adults, we've had a serious argument once or twice and then just some very minor disagreements sprinkled in there. Do you know anyone who's been arrested? Oh yes. What're you planning on doing after this? Another survey. What time did you go to sleep last night? Damn, it wasn't even 8:00. I was EXHAUSTED and actually slept decently for once in my life. Do you like waking up to good morning texts in the morning? I mean, I'd think most people would. It's a sweet, easy way of someone showing they care and think about you. Have you left some things unsaid with a certain person? Yeah. What was the last thing that made you happy? We had syrup to add to my breakfast, haha. I don't know if these are a thing everywhere, but I looove what we just call "pancakes on a stick," which is like a corndog, but with sausage and pancake batter. Dipping it in syrup is amaaaaaaziiiiiiing. Do you like the smell of rain? I don't love it, but it's refreshing sometimes. It's mostly just associated with a bittersweet memory, so it can be triggering to smell. I know, that sounds immensely stupid. What was the last thing you took a picture of? A very, very relatable meme to show Sara, haha. She doesn't have a Facebook, so that'll do. When you go to McDonald's, what drink do you usually get? I always get a Coke. What’s the nickname of your home state? Tar Heel State, from discovering tar in the since aptly-named Tar River. Have you ever thought about your wedding? I mean duh. What’s the worse type of weather in your opinion? Hot and humid, ugh. Especially right after a summer afternoon thunderstorm. It's unbearable. You can't fucking breathe outside, and you set one foot out of the door and it's soaked. Do you have a Kindle or iPad or neither? Neither. Would you rather read or write? Write. When was the last time someone took a picture of you? The time Misty visited last month and we were taking family pictures. Would you rather see Taylor Swift or Carrie Underwood in concert? I wouldn't pay for either or even willingly go to one or the other, but if I had to go for whatever reason, Carrie. She has a beautiful voice as well as a good handful of songs I actually like. I'm not a Taylor fan; there are only like, two old songs by her I enjoy. When someone screws you over, do you get back with revenge? No. I may not be the best at adulting, but damn, I'm not that bad. Name something negative that you hate about yourself? I overthink like a motherfucker. About everything. Is there a dead end road near where you live? I live on one. Huh, that's actually been the case three times... wow. Four if you count the apartment. Who are you tired of seeing in the news a lot (celebrities)? I don't care. I don't even pay attention to the news, other than Covid updates. Have you ever had to call and complain about a product you bought? No. Name something positive you love about yourself: I care a lot about people. Can you smell anything right now? No, besides however my house naturally smells that I'm numb to. Have you spoken to a relative on the phone today? No. How does alcohol affect you? I flush in my face very obviously, and I become more outgoing and talkative. Have you ever eaten tofu and if so, did you enjoy it? I've never tried it, but I very much doubt I'd enjoy it. What was the last type of meat you ate? Pork. What colour is your toothpaste? Blue and white. Have you ever been suspended from school? No. Have you ever inhaled helium? Once, I believe. Are you a fan of Adam Sandler? Yeah, I think he's pretty funny and a talented actor. What was the last fruit you ate? An apple. A candied apple for Valentine's Day, but still an apple, haha. Have you ever watched Parks and Recreation? With Sara's family, yeah. It was fine. Have you watched a movie this week? I haven't watched a movie in many months. Have you set an alarm today? Yeah, just to ensure I was up for group therapy today. Have you asked someone for advice today? No. What was the last website you were on, other than this one? YouTube. Have you ever been to Hawaii? No, but it'd be cool. Well, thinking about the humidity... Have you watched more than an hour of TV today? No; I haven't watched television in a long time. Do you keep magazines by your toilet? No. The last time you got dressed up, where did you go? I got my makeup done and put on a dress for a Halloween "witch" shoot with my friend and some other people. The pictures pretty much don't exist because they're blurry as shit and way too dark because we left too late. I don't know why we even left the house to do it by the time everyone figured their shit out. I was really disappointed because I thought Summer made me look really, really pretty. ;_; Did the one person who hurt you the most in your life apologize? Yes, but I don't know if he really meant it. He might have just wanted me off his back, but I kinda feel now that he meant it, at least regarding how it happened. Are you proud of who you are? Only in the sense that I think I have a good heart. Otherwise, no. I've accomplished so little. Have you ever been to Costco? We don't have those here, so no. Do/did you have to wear a uniform to your high school? No, thank Christ. Only in middle school. How many video games do you own? A whole lot. Have you ever been to a casino? If so, which one(s)? No. Have you ever visited a sex shop? No. How many sets of keys do you have for your house? One. Do you give spare keys to your place to your friends and family? Our landlord/family friend has one. Then obviously my sisters do, too. Have you ever ridden a bicycle through a busy city? Oh hell no. Do you use Instagram? How often do you post there? Yes, two for each of my photography "styles." I don't post a lot myself, but I react to stuff. When was the last time you high-fived someone? I believe the last time I was at my sister's and my nephew caught a Pokemon on his first throw in Pokemon GO. He and his sister LOVE that game; that's the first thing they ask to do when I come over, haha. Their dad doesn't like it because it's "evil" (which he finds most things, really...), and it's something I could roll my eyes into the back of my head about, but I still have to respect his parenting and ask if they can play it first. He let's 'em, just not long. He also took away the Pikachu plushy I gave Aubree because it's her favorite one. :^) Guess who doesn't fuckin like him lmao. Do you like writing? How often do you write? I love writing! I don't do it very much nowadays except through surveys, though. RP is kinda on pause, so surveys is really how I just get stuff out, even if it isn't creative. Are there any posters or artworks hanging in your living room? Artwork and family photos, yes. What's your favourite place to get pizza? I'm a basic bitch that loves her some Domino's. How many times have you been to the beach? Quite a few times. We live only like two hours away, and considering Myrtle Beach is a common dance competition location, we've been a couple handfuls of instances. Has there ever been a fire inside your house? Tell me the story. No. After we moved out of my childhood house though that we actually owned, the fucking idiots who were moving in completely roasted it to pitch by setting boxes on the goddamn stove and accidentally turning it on. The house had to be entirely rebuilt. My parents were livid considering it was THEIR house. Have you ever had a scary encounter with a wild animal? No. What was the best school project you remember doing? I actually really enjoyed the huge essay I did on toxic masculinity the last time I tried college. I've always been very firm about letting men be humans and not emotionless robots, but I learned a lot more while researching and writing. Name a video game you can play over and over again: Shadow of the Colossus is #1. I've beaten it at least 30 times, maybe even 40+; it's been too long since I've seen the save files. It's a relatively short game (you can beat it in less than like, four hours if you know what you're doing) and just very relaxing yet simultaneously absolutely epic to me. God, I want a PS4 to play the remaster, like beyond words. It looks incredible, and I want to try to get white Agro. Have you ever petted a cow, a sheep, or a pig? A pig, yes. I love pigs.

[dumbledearme]

chapter forty-one—king of the gods

read Child of Land and Sea here

Act V — Walking On Water

Part IV — I hope you're satisfied, but if you ain't, don't blame me. You can blame my friends on the other side...

They emerged in Central Park just north of the Pond. Nico looked pretty tired as he limped over to a cluster of boulders. "The Underworld has two major entrances," he told Andy. "You know the one in L.A."

"Charon's ferry."

Nico nodded. "Most souls go that way, but there's a smaller path, harder to find. The Door of Orpheus."

"The dude with the harp?"

"The dude with the lyre," Nico corrected with a grin. "But yeah, him. He used his music to charm the earth and open a new path into the Underworld. He sang his way right into Hades's palace and almost got away with his wife's soul."

"I remember," she said; Anthony liked telling her about Greek myths. "He wasn't supposed to look behind him when he was leading her back to the world, but of course he did. And so they died. The end."

"Pretty much."

"So this is the Door of Orpheus?" Andy tried to sound impressed but she wasn't really. "How does it open?"

"We need music," Nico said. "How's your singing?"

"Um, no. Can't you just, like, tell it to open? You're the son of Hades and all."

"It's not that easy. We need music. Now sing. I'm pretty sure you can carry some notes."

"Why would you think that?"

"Child of the sea and everything," he shrugged. "Mermaids. Sirens. Naiads. The sound of waves. All music."

"I'm fairly sure if I try to sing, all I will cause is an avalanche," Andy told him. "I have a better idea." She turned and shouted, "GROVER!" Her empathy link was tingling for the first time in months. Grover! she thought more insistently.

"Hmm-hmmmm," something said. An image came into her head. She saw him sleeping above a tree.

"Wake up," she told him.

His eyes shot open.

"What?" Nico asked.

"I got through," she said out loud. "He's... yeah. He's on his way."

A minute later, the tree next to them shivered and Grover fell out of the branches. "Blah-haa-haa!" he bleated.

"Are you okay?"

"Oh, I'm fine," he got up. His horns had grown so much they poked an inch above his curly hair. "I was at the other end of the park. The dryads had this great idea of passing me through the trees to get me here. They don't understand height very well."

"You remember Nico?" Andy said. Grover nodded at Nico then gave Andy a big goat hug.

"I missed you," he told her. "I miss camp."

"I was worried," she said. "Where have you been the last two months?"

"The last two-" Grover's smile faded. "The last two months?! What are you talking about?"

"We haven't heard from you. Juniper's worried."

"Hold on. What month is this?"

"August."

The color drained from his face. "That's impossible! It's June. I just lay down to take a nap and..." he grabbed Andy's arms. "I remember now! He knocked me out. Andy, we have to stop him!"

"Whoa, stop who? Tell me what happened."

Grover took a deep breath. "I was... I was walking in the woods up by Harlem Meer. And I felt this tremble in the ground, like something powerful was near."

"You can sense stuff like that?" Nico asked.

Grover nodded. "Since Pan's death, I can feel when something is wrong in nature. It's like my ears and eyes are sharper when I'm in the Wild. Anyway, I started following the scent. This man in a long black coat was walking through the park, and I noticed he didn't cast a shadow. Middle of a sunny day, and he cast no shadow. He kind of shimmered as he moved."

"Like a mirage?" Nico asked.

"Yes," Grover said. "And whenever he passed humans-"

"The humans would pass out," Nico finished. "Curl up and go to sleep."

"That's right! I followed the guy. He kept looking up at the buildings around the park like he was making estimates or something. I followed him into this grove, to the base of a big elm tree. I was about to summon some dryads to help me capture him when he turned and..." Grover swallowed. "Andy, his face. I couldn't make out his face because it kept shifting. Just looking at him made me sleepy. I asked what he was doing and he said he was having a look around. He said you should always scout a battlefield before the battle. And then... then I had to sleep a little."

Nico exhaled. "You met Morpheus, the god of Dreams. You're lucky you ever woke up."

"Two months," Grover moaned. "He put me to sleep for two months."

"We need to figure out what he was doing here," Andy said.

"He's working for Kronos," Nico said. "We know that already. A lot of the minor gods are. This just proves there's going to be an invasion. We need to get on with our plan, Jackson."

And he was back with the last name thing.

"What plan?" Grover asked. They told him and he started tugging at his leg fur. "You can't be serious. You cannot be serious! Not the Underworld again!"

"You don't need to come," Andy assured him. "We just need you to open the door. With music."

"Are you sure you want to do this, Andy?"

She avoided his eyes. "Please, Grover. Just open the door."

Grover whimpered but took out his reed pipes. He played a shrill, lively tune. The boulders trembled until they cracked open, revealing a triangular crevice. Andy peered inside. Steps led down into the darkness. She looked back at Grover. "Thanks, man.."

"I've got to rally the nature spirits if Kronos is going to invade. Maybe we can help. I'll see if we can find this Morpheus."

"Better tell Juniper you're okay first."

Grover's eyes widened. "Juniper! Oh, she is going to kill me!" He gave Andy another hug. "Come back alive." And he ran off.

"Ready?" Nico asked her. "It'll be fine. Don't worry. I'll keep you safe down there."

Andy liked the promise, but Nico sounded like he was trying to convince himself. She glanced at the stars, wondering if she would ever see them again. Then they plunged into darkness.

They emerged at the base of a cliff, on a plain of black volcanic sand. To their right, the River Styx. To their left, far away, fires burned on Erebos.

Andy shuddered and wished Anthony was there to hold her hand. Nico looked pale and worried himself. Not very heartening. "How do we do this?"

"We have to get inside the gates first," he said.

"But the river's right here."

"I have to get something," he told her. "It's the only way." He marched off without waiting.

Andy frowned. Nico hadn't mentioned anything about going inside the gates. Reluctantly, she followed him. Cerberus let them pass. Andy assumed it was because Nico was the boss's son.

Ignoring the lines of ghosts, they slipped through the security ghouls and into the Fields of Asphodel. They hiked over black fields of grass; Nico trudged ahead, bringing them closer and closer to the palace of Hades.

"Hey," she called him, "we're inside the gates. Where exactly are we-" A shadow appeared overhead. Andy recognized her immediately. "Mrs Dodds."

The Fury bared her fangs. "Welcome back, honey." Her two sisters swooped down and settled next to her.

"You know Alecto?" Nico asked Andy.

"If you mean the hag in the middle, yeah. She was my math teacher."

Nico almost smiled before turning to the Furies. "I've done what my father asked. Take us to the palace."

Andy tensed. "Wait. Nico, what do you-"

"My father wants to see you," he said without looking at her. "I'm sorry. He promised me information about my family."

"You tricked me?" Andy gave him a shove, but the Furies were fast. Two of them swooped down and plucked her up by the arms.

"He just wants to talk," Nico said apologetically.

Andy didn't say anything as the Furies flied her into the palace. Alecto dropped her like a sack of turnips at the feet of Hades. Persephone and Demeter were also there. They seemed to be having an argument.

"Andy Jackson," Hades said with satisfaction. "At last."

"Hmmph," Demeter said. "Demigods. Just what we need."

Nico appeared at Andy's side and knelt. "Father, I have done as you asked."

"Took you long enough," Hades grumbled. "Your sister would've done a better job."

Nico lowered his head.

"What do you want, Hades?" Andy asked.

"To talk, of course. Assuming you can talk. Last time you were here, all you did was shout."

"So this whole thing was a lie? Nico brought me down here to be killed. Awesome."

"Oh, no," Hades said. "I'm afraid my son was quite sincere about wanting to help you. The boy is as honest as he is dense. I simply convinced him to take a small detour and bring you here first."

"Father," Nico said, "you promised that she would not be harmed. You said you'd tell me about my mother."

Persephone sighed dramatically. "Can we please not talk about that woman?"

"I had to promise the boy something," Hades shrugged.

"I warned you, daughter," Demeter said. "This scoundrel is no good! You could've married the god of doctors or the god of lawyers, but nooo! You had to eat the pomegranate."

"Mother-"

"And get stuck here forever."

"Mother, please-"

"Enough, Demeter," Hades said. "You are a guest in my house."

"And what a house it is. This dump. It's August! We're supposed to be up there-"

"I told you," Hades said, grinding his teeth, "there's a war in the world above. You and Persephone are better off here with me."

"Excuse me," Andy broke in, "but if you're going to kill me, I would prefer you did it before forcing me to listen to this squabble."

All three gods looked at her.

"She has a bad attitude," Demeter said.

"Indeed," Hades agreed. "I would love to kill her."

"Get in line," Andy muttered.

"Husband, we talked about this," Persephone chided. "You can't go around incinerating every hero. Besides, she's brave and pretty. Much like myself. I quite like her."

Hades rolled his eyes. "You liked that Orpheus fellow, too. Look how well that turned out. Let me kill her, just a little bit."

"Father, you promised," Nico said. "You said you only wanted to speak to her. You said you'd explain."

"And so I shall," Hades glowered. "Your mother – what can I tell you? She was a wonderful woman." He glanced uncomfortably at Persephone. "Forgive me, my love. I meant for a mortal, of course. Maria di Angelo. She was from Venice, but her father was a diplomat in Washington, D.C. That's where I met her. When you and your sister were young, it was a bad time to be children of Hades. World War II was brewing. A few of my, ah, other children were leading the losing side. I thought it best to put you two out of harm's way."

"That's why you hid us in the Lotus Casino?"

Hades shrugged. "You didn't age. You didn't realize time was passing. I waited for the right time to bring you out."

"But what happened to our mother? Why don't I remember her?"

"Not important," Hades snapped.

"Not important? Of course it's important! It's the most important thing!"

Hades crossed his arms. "As for the lawyer who got you out," he nodded toward Alecto.

"I do lawyers and teachers very well," the Fury growled.

Nico was trembling. "Why did you free us from the Casino?"

"You know why," Hades said. "This ridiculous siren cannot be allowed to be the child of the prophecy!"

"You should be helping Olympus!" Andy told him. "All the other gods are fighting and you're just sitting here-"

"Waiting things out," Hades finished. "Yes, that's correct. When's the last time Olympus ever helped me, half-blood? When's the last time a child of mine was ever welcome as a hero? Bah! Why should I rush out and help them? I'll stay here with my forces intact."

"And when Kronos comes for you?"

"Let him try. He'll be weakened. And my son here," Hades looked at Nico with distaste. "Well, he's not much now, I'll grant you. It would've been better if Bianca had lived. But give my boy another year. He'll be eighteen and he will make the decision that will save the world. And I will be king of the gods."

"You're insane," Andy said. "Kronos will crush you."

Hades pursed his lips. "You'll be waiting out this war, child of land and sea, in my dungeons."

"No!" Nico said. "Father, that wasn't our agreement. And you haven't told me everything."

"I've told you all you need to know, boy. As for our agreement, I spoke with Jackson. I did not harm her, though I wanted to. Bad. You got your information. If you had wanted a better deal, you should've made me swear on the Styx. Now, go to your room," Hades waved his hand and Nico disappeared.

"That boy needs to eat more," Demeter grumbled. "He's too skinny."

"My lord Hades," Persephone said, "are you sure we can't let her go? She's awfully brave."

"No, my love. I've spared her life. That's enough."

Persephone shrugged indifferently. "Fine. What's for breakfast? I'm starving." She took her mother's arm and they disappeared in a swirl of flowers and wheat.

"Don't feel bad, Andy Jackson," Hades said. "My ghosts keep me well informed of Kronos's plans. I can assure you that you had no chance to stop him in time. By tonight, it'll be too late for your precious Mount Olympus. The trap will be sprung."

"What trap?" she demanded. "If you know about it, do something! At least warn the other gods!"

Hades smiled. "You are spirited. I'll give you credit for that. Have fun in my dungeon. We'll check on you again in – oh, fifty or sixty years."

[smile-it-wont-suck-forever]

Okay so I’m back from seeing Wonder Woman and I feel like

I liked it! Like, A LOT.

It’s been a while since I’ve indulged in WW stuff (man there are so many things from my childhood I let fall off), so this makes me want to get back into her. When I tell y’all I could’ve watched so much more!!! Bruhhhh! More Themyscira. More Amazons. More Diana in ‘her world’. More Diana exploring ‘ours’ (and that’s saying something because the fish-out-of-water stories can be so tedious). More Diana fighting. Diana actual getting to interact with babies I wanna see what dancing is like on Themyscira! I love that Diana is a warrior and retained feelings and emotions! 

It did what an origin movie is supposed to do, make you excited about the character and their adventures.

THERE ARE SPOILERS AFTER THIS POINT. BEWARE THE SPOILERS!!!

(there’s also a Read More, mobile users. I don’t know why tumblr won’t fix that)

Let me get my nitpicky stuff out of the way because, as much as I liked it, It wasn’t perfect. None of these are enough to take me out of the movie and they aren’t issues that other movies don’t have. They still bug me though.

Some of the special effects… left something to be desired. I know that green screens and cgi are things, but they shouldn’t be glaringly obvious. Also, I know that characters in movies either fall into the category of insta-dead or taking-forever-to-die-because-monologue, but I was annoyed that a single bullet to the gut *instantly* killed Amazons. 

And I dislike killing all the gods. I know, I know, characters too powerful blah, blah. I just think there has to be another way to write that by now.

But ANYWAY, more good stuff?

There were black Amazons… with a couple of lines and everything. When I first glimpsed a dark skinned Amazon fighting in the background, I thought that was going to be the extent. Just 1 or 2 in all of the island. Just enough for the filmmakers to say ‘look, we had black ppl.’ I didn’t trust the Hollywood machine to keep the comic’s diverse Themyscira in the film, even after that article saying there would be. They did better than I thought.

Also Diana’s crew of rag tags? I want short stories or web tie-ins or something. I loved that they made the most of the crappy hands they were dealt, particularly Sameer and The Chief (even if I am upset that the filmmakers didn’t let us know what The Chief’s name was). There was no subtitle when he introduced himself to Diana.

I love how Diana being a woman was neither harped on nor ignored. Her gender was never treated as a weakness or something she had to get past. I’m glad she wasn’t sexualized, and glad never had to emulate the traits that are typically considered masculine in order to be taken seriously. She wasn’t cold. And yes, it’s Wonder Woman. That’s how she should be. But a lot of storytellers (especially in Hollywood) tend to trade one set of stereotypes for another, which doesn’t help as much as they may like.

And can I just say that I adored Etta? She didn’t miss a single beat!

The movie was a fun ride. Two and a half hours well spent.

[zalrb]

This episode was SO jokes {TVD 8x15 Review}

Hi all! You know the deal. I write my thoughts in real time so anything I saw at the beginning that might be a mistake may be corrected by the end. This review will have anti-Damon, anti-Delena, anti-Steroline, anti-Bamon, anti-Bonenzo sentiments and will most likely have references to other shows and to the misogynoir, anti-blackness and racism in the narrative. If you do not like it, you do not have to read this. Are you ready? OK! Let's go. 1. So I'm stopping a very promising Kdrama to watch this. The Kdrama is called Mirror of the Witch, I'm on the first episode and already there are more consequences in this drama than all eight seasons of TVD. So far it looks exceptionally dark and mean-spirited, I think it might actually disturb me. Anyway. It's still entirely ridiculous that Cade's last words are “Go to hell.” Like why? Also why would Stefan say, “You first”? Wasn't Cade already in hell? Like didn't he sort of create it? And now he's just ... dead? What was that dialogue? 2. I like how opening the door to Cade's world will only destroy everything for “miles”, like that's such a small scale, shouldn't it be the end of the world if the devil is walking among us? Or is he not the devil, is Katherine the devil? I'm confused about the Hell hierarchy, you see. 3. Also I should mention I have a cold and I took cough syrup and it SAYS non-drowsy but last night I was knocked the fuck out so if I get a little loopy near the end, it could be that. Or it could be that watching TVD has finally addled my brain. Who knows. 4. They really do hype Katherine way too much. 5. Sorry, pausing because my cat is being extremely affectionate and I would rather play with her for a little than watch what trash this episode is going to be. 6. But now she's on my keyboard. It's like she's trying to spare me. 7. The lighting in this episode seems to be darker than normal, I can barely see anything. 8. I think it's funny that Caroline keeps waking up expecting to see Stefan and he's not there. 9. Matt's hair is SO stupid though. LIKE WHY. 10. I have it paused because the video is loading still but like seriously, he looks thoroughly unattractive like this and out of character I think Zach is pretty cute, so like ugh, why am I subjected to this. 11. Why do we care about Matt's dad again? 12. Or his mother for that matter. 13. Like remember when she came to town and then made out with Damon and then they discovered Vicki was dead and she made out with Tyler? Or was Tyler first and then Damon? Either way, she's messy af. The only interesting dynamic was her and Caroline and Elena. She's pointless. 14. “That was a lifetime ago, things have changed since then” that should just replace the title of TVD. “Didn't Damon kill your sister?” “That was a long time ago.” “Didn't Damon kill your brother” “That was a long time ago.” And now apparently abandoning your family because of man pain and cowardice and immaturity is “a lifetime ago” too but oh no, Stefan was a ripper a literal century ago and we need to harp on it forever. 15. Real talk, I already feel kinda woozy but it's fine it's like being buzzed and it's probably the only way I will get through this episode. 16. Why would Dorian agreeing to help them on how to get rid of the “Queen of Hell” be misconstrued as him being “cool” with Stefan though? Isn't getting rid of someone who is supposed to be the devil Plus be in everyone's best interest? Like whatever, it was just another chance to take a shot at Stefan. Transparent as fuck. 17. That red looks nice on Kat. 18. I like how Katherine is in this world, everything is supposed to be going to shit and Matt isn't like “Mom, Dad, I hate you but you need to leave town because you could possibly die” he's just like yeah fam, I'm rescheduling our awkward dinner date. Like lol. It would be more interesting if he didn't give a shit if they died but this is just the writers being the writers. In Buffy, when the Mayor is supposed to devour all of Sunnydale, Buffy forces her mother to leave town and tells her if she doesn't her presence will get her [Buffy] killed. 19. I love Stefan's face when Damon says “she's obsessed with Stefan” like BITCH WHO TOLD YOU TO TALK? 20. Why does it have to be a wedding though? It could just as easily be an engagement party or a rehearsal dinner, like sooooooooooo forced. 21. I mean, I don't blame Bonnie for hating Stefan but Damon was responsible for killing Jeremy and kidnapping Jeremy, Enzo was responsible for suffocating Jeremy and she's cool with both of them, hell she fell in love with one of them so I'm just like girl, I guess. The writers are ridiculous because it just feels like they don't know the web they've created with these characters and understand that they've turned pretty much everyone into a hyprocrite. 22. And as a non-Beremy shipper, I still think Bonnie loved Jeremy more than Enzo and Beremy was a problematic af ship but at least some things were halfway earned, Bonenzo is pure dialogue, fam. 23. Oh and looks. 24. I don't even know why Damon needs to tell Stefan that what happened to Enzo will haunt him like Stefan isn't new to guilt. Why are they making it seem like this is Stefan's first rodeo? 25. My video keeps fucking buffering. I might switch sites because I love myself too much to drag this out longer than I have to. Because I am only eight minutes in, that's not gonna fly. 26. OK so everything is just buffering. I was supposed to have my data back, what is this. 27. Right now I have it paused on Damon. I really don't get what anons mean when they tell me his arms are huge. Like I don't see it. 28. WHO CARES ABOUT MATT'S MOM? What's her name again? Kelly? 29. Is she dying? 30. She's dying. 31. Oh she's dead. Ish. 32. “Oh please don't be mad at me, Caroline” that actually sounded like Stefan was talking to his mother. 33. Yeah this BE scene is giving me nothing. 34. Liz did a TERRIBLE job protecting MF, who are we kidding? And toasting with your rape victim about how her mother became your best friend and now her daughter will be your family is disgusting. 35. Lol yes use the SE necklace that Damon kept taking to give it to Caroline on her wedding day for Stefan because we're ignoring how important that necklace was to SE, sure. 36. Seriously, Caroline looks at Alaric with more love than she does Stefan. Like just marry him, y'all are more compatible and have more chemistry than you and Stefan anyway. Like omg. 37. “I hope I get to see this one day with you and Elena” lol the FLATTEST delivery ever. Like do you even mean it? Do you REALLY? Think hard, Stefan. 38. “I want to be a part of your happiness” I mean I guess. I don't like Bonnie being arbitrary in her blame for Stefan but like can the girl be selfish and feel what she feels when she feels it for once? And indulge? Like?? 39. I also find it interesting that Stefan and Caroline don't have a private moment before the wedding, like I know this isn't how we wanted to do this blah blah blah. They're so segregated even when they're together. 40. Do the writers not know of any alcohol other than bourbon? 41. The slow mo doesn't change the deadened expression on Paul's face, guys. Sorry. 42. Also Alaric's speech is stupid, who becomes “family” with the people who have continuously terrorized your life and are responsible for the people you've lost? Like that's when you see a psychiatrist because you have serious emotional issues. 43. “You saw light in me when all I saw was darkness.” WHEN WAS THIS? NO LEGIT WHEN? I REALLY WANT TO KNOW. Madly in love, you don't even look madly in love, you look SO chill. OMG. 44. LOL bout you've been ready since you saw him at school. You were on his jock for one episode, then you onto Damon and were unfortunate enough to be his victim, then it was Matt, then it was Tyler, then it was Klaus, then it was Tyler then it was Jesse then it was Klaus then it was Stefan. Girl bye. 45. That SC dance looks SO AWKWARD. LOL SLOW MO DOESN'T MAKE SHIT BETTER UNLESS IT'S ALREADY GOOD 46. Of course Matt's dad isn't dead. I mean he got stabbed when it was light out and now it's dark but he's still gurgling. Jesus. We met him THIS season, Julie, you can kill the irrelevant fucker off. 47. I don't know why Caroline is STILL wearing the necklace. 48. HER NAME IS KELLY. I WAS RIGHT. 49. Why isn't Caroline vamp speeding into the house? 50. Really? That's your reaction to your kids potentially dying? 51. So like the smoke is having no effect on Bonnie? 52. And them siphoning her doesn't hurt? 53. Caroline is legit calm when she thought her kids were dead for a minute. 54. LMFAO SO WHO ISN'T IN HELL? Vicki was in hell, Kelly was in hell, so like ERRBODY GOES TO HELL THEN? WHAT CRITERIA IS THERE? Like if I run a stop light do I go to hell because it's against the law? What if I jaywalk or accidentally step on an ant or something? BECAUSE SERIOUSLY. 55. STEFAN WHY DON'T YOU EVER CHECK ANYONE'S PULSE? Final thoughts: This episode didn't enrage me like I thought it would, it's just thoroughly ridiculous because it attempts to haphazardly rewrite history and Paul was such a lacklustre groom, like faaaam, those vows were horrible. And Caroline and Stefan are just so isolated from each other, like they don't feel like a couple or a pair, they don't feel like one, it's so very cold. Kelly coming back with her daughter to destroy MF is like, I mean I guess, Katherine's plan isn't even original, Stefan was going to burn MF to the ground first anyway, like we're seriously recycling plots in the same season too? This was actually laughably bad.