#blackriser
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lettersnorth · 2 years ago
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The explosion rends through the sea air, a cacophony of noise and light and in its wake, a massive wall of water barrels down on their ship. It rolls and bucks like a wild thing intent on tossing people free from its deck. Bodies spill into the ocean, quickly lost to one another beneath the churning swell.
Beneath the waves and tumbling in the tumult, Aislinn struggles to sort up from down. Her mind is sluggish, her limbs, leaden with exhaustion, are slow to comply. That overwhelming aetheric display of hers earlier may prove to be her undoing. She makes a bid for the surface but it’s no use, her vision darkens as the ocean steals the last of the air from her lungs and sends it rushing to the surface in a cloud of bubbles. How insulting, to know too late which direction the surface lie.
Rising had hissed as she hit the water, salt in her wound, hazy from blood loss. She manages to break the surface and quickly looks around for her allies.
No Cravendy, no Sosuke, no Aislinn, just Rhea clinging to the capsized hull and casting his gaze around them, looking for the others. 
Just then, she catches a flash of red in the water beneath her and dives back down without another thought, grasping hold of Aislinn and tugging her back to the surface.
There would be no descent to a watery grave this day.
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shadowkira · 1 year ago
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Widowtracer Fic Recs:
AUs:
The Huntress by Mizu7 (E) (32) (vampire!Widow) (AO3)
Action / Mission Related:
Like A Dangerous Woman by doribuki (E) (1) (hard light dildo) (violence + sex) (AO3)
London Calling by SectoBoss (T) (16) (AO3)
Angst:
Fly on the Wall by Mizu7 (E) (6) (AO3)
Comedy:
Faux Pas by bzarcher (E) (3) (AO3)
PWP:
By the Skin of Your Teeth by doribuki (E) (1) (AO3)
Heat Signature by mylordshesacactus (M) (1) (AO3)
In Ruin, in Rapture by doribuki (E) (1) (AO3)
Quickshot by Blackrising (E) (1) (trans!Tracer) (AO3)
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acrossthegentleground · 3 months ago
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What are your favorite clexa smut fics to read
There’s too many to list all of them but off the top of my head:
Methods of torture by blackrising reaper Lexa/clarke
You’re all I ever loved by serafaerosa (whole series is hot)
Hole in one by raedmagdon
Cost of peace series by jude81 and kendrene
😈
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pictureamoebae · 7 years ago
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Hi! Could you tell me where to find Violet's hairstyle? I need it in my life!
I answer this question every few weeks AND THAT’S OKAY BECAUSE IT’S VERY GOOD HAIR!
Evelyn Hair, by the talented @teanmoon
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murkserious · 4 years ago
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41yrs ago, Solomon Mahlangu was hanged for participating in the liberation struggle in South Africa. Before he passed into ancestry, he said these words... "My blood will nourish the tree that will bear the fruits of freedom. Tell my people that I love them. They must continue the fight. Aluta continua". Do you now see the reason why we can't give up. Others like you and I stood their grounds to challenge the status quo. And they were hanged in the course. We have to continue the fight until we can see our people free. We all know that the leadership we have in place is just a joke. The leadership is the problem we have to kick out of our way. I tell you, with this leadership in place. Solomon Mahlangu death would be for nothing. Nobody in his right mind will tell us to keep the current leadership we have afloat. We do not careless about the leadership in place. As far as we know they are part of the problem. And they must be booted out. One day when we have the numbers, we shall chase these ingrates out of town. BlackRise Movement have come to stay.
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c8n8o16-blog · 6 years ago
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MURAKU式zkill利用ガイド
※ 本記事は、初心者向けには記載されていません。ある程度のEVEに関係した知識をもったことを前提としています。
 初心者記事のPart3でzkillについて触れた。あれは単なる入り口に過ぎない。恐らくPvPに触れているカ��セラでzkillを利用してない人間はいないだろう。
  だが、zkillというものがどこまで解析できて、どこまでのことを知ることができるのか?という点でその工程を理解し、こなすためのノウハウを共有しようとする人は皆無だ。
  ONCBNは、N-F-Sという組織を運営している都合上、初心者と交流する機会が多くよく耳にする言葉がある。
 zkillってどこまでのことを知ることができるのか
  確かに素朴な疑問だ。いや、むしろ初心者からすれば至極当然の質問だろう。考えてみれば、zkillについて細かく解説した記事は日本語では存在しておらず、海外でも古いフォーラム記事やかつて存在したアライアンスフォーラムの残骸からサルベージする以外だとYoutubeの解説動画をみるぐらいしか存在しない。
  そこで、zkillの分析の仕方をmurakuなりの手法ではあるが、一部紹介しようというのが今回の目的だ。このガイドをみることで、zkillを利用し、幅広い知識を得ることが出来るようになることが、筆者にとって喜びであり希望だ。公共の情報とは幅広く共有し、コミュニティの活性化や成長に繋がるというものだと考えている。
  本ガイドでは、各種単位でのものを見ていくが、決して順番にそれらをみるとはかぎらない。あくまで、戦力分析、解析をする読み方をしていくことが本ガイドの目的であるため、見方を説明するわけではないということを留意してもらいたい
1 、zkillでBigkillを分析する
 まず、https://zkillboard.comにアクセスするとトップページに直近のBigkillなどが示されている。そして、もうひとつ。スポンサーキルメールといって、広告としてキルメールをトップ表示させるものがある。
 Bigkillのサンプルとして、https://zkillboard.com/kill/74023076/を今回は利用する。
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 まず、この範囲で読み取れることを整理しよう。Hard Knocks Citizens(以下ハードノック)が保有するキープスターが陥落したときのものだ。ハードノックは有名なWH海賊である。ヌルにも領土を保有しているし、悪名についてはGSFに匹敵するほど逸話が多いので、語るまでもないだろう。
 システムはWH。つまり、WHにキープスターがあったことになる。FITはリグ以外は完全武装。
 さて、この場面でキープスターに関する知識をもっていると既にあることがわかる。このリグがないことが一つのポイントなのだ。
 ストラクチャリグはそこそこ高価だ。お���のない勢力のストラクチャにリグがついてないことは珍しくないし、落ちるストラクチャでリグがないということ。しかし、今回落されたハードノックは資金についてはかなり多い。
 つまり、このリグがない理由は別にあるわけだ。その予測を確かなものにするためには、常に比較対象というものが存在する。
 今回の比較対象は同一システムにこのキープスターの三日前に陥落したハードノックの別のキープスターを使うとしよう
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 こちらにはリグがついている。このことからもしっかりとリグをつけるということがありえるのは理解できるだろう。
さて、このリグについていくつかの推論を打ち立てることができる。
・一個目のキープスターにしかリグをつけるつもりがなかった
・お金がない
・リグ素材がそろっていないため
・攻撃される前にリグを自壊させた
 では、一つずつこの推論を考察してみよう。まずは、リグが最初からつけていなかった。これは多いにありえるだろう。キープスターが同一システム内に二つあるということは、どちらかはメインのステーションとして使っていないということだ。一個目がメインステーションで、二つ目は予備などと考えれば、予備は武装だけでリグをつけていないという可能性もある。
 最も、メインキープスターをFITしきらないという勢力があれば、それは資金不足の可能性が高いので別の心配もあるが、このハードノックという勢力に関してはその心配は無用だろう。
 資金不足という可能性はハードノックの資金源はわかっているだけでもかなり潤沢な勢力だ。この可能性は皆無だ。
 三つ目については、先にキープスターを設置し、リグが完成次第搭載する予定だった可能性だ。これは、一部のXLサイズのリグがかなり高額なことが起因する。物によっては、Jitaに存在するリグ素材を買いあさってもつくれないということからも値段と材料集めの過酷さがよくわかるだろう。
 四つ目については、zkill上での被害額などを過小にさせるために、勝ち目が無いと判断した時点で自壊させるというものだ。これは、割とよくある。
 ハードノックという勢力についての知識があれば、二つ目の可能性は存在しておらず、1,3,4ということになるのだが、リグという部分だけでこれだけの分析ができる程度にはzkillには情報が含まれている。
 攻撃に関与したパイロットの人数をみると、このWHシステムに1000人いたことが伺える。つまり、このキープスターは大規模攻勢を受けていたのがわかるだろう。
 攻撃している勢力をみてみると、Goonswarm Federation、The Initiative.、Initiative Mercenariesが人数を出しているのがわかる。勢力情報を知っていると、Goonswarm(以下Goons)とInitiativeはImperiumというコアリションに所属している。つまり、このハードノックのキープスターは他のメンバーをみてもImperiumとその仲間たちに攻撃されているのがわかる。
 Imperiumに所属していない人々が、キープスターに攻撃している形跡も確認できるだろう。この中でいうと、Scary Wormhole Peopleがその一つだ。この戦いにおいては、勢力と戦いの背景を知るとわかるが、彼らは、キープスターを防衛する側の陣営だ。
 大きな戦いにおいて、無関係だったり防衛側がキルメールに乗っていることは珍しくない。
 これについては単純な理由がいくつかある。一つは、zkill上でのスコアを伸ばしたいがために攻撃する人物と、ロスを打ち消すために攻撃する人物がいる。
 前者については、キルメールはどんな戦闘であっても撃墜金額に加算されるため、一撃だけいれにいくというものだ。悪く言えば水増しである。粉飾ともいえる。
 後者については、自分たちのロスを組織単位で小さくするために行うものだ。今回の場合はアライアンス単位ではロスになるが、コープや個人単位ではプラスにすることができる。(-200Bのキルメールがあっても+200Bのキルメールが存在することになる)
 リグの話で触れたように被害を過小にするためにリグを壊すことはそこまで珍しくなく、戦果の水増しや打消しも珍しくない。むしろ、よく行われていることではある。
 スコアはその勢力の強さを測る指標でもあるため、戦果を大きく見せることは重要だ。しかし、所詮は水増しなので冷静に分析すれば、そこは暴かれる。
 しかし、他の履歴に埋もれてパっと見ではすぐに判別つかなくなることもあるため、非常に有効である。
2、各単位でzkillをみる。
さて、一つのキルメールから読み取れることをいくつかあることは前述の解説でわかっただろう。次は、そのキルメールと組織のstatsから複合的にその勢力に関する情報をみていくものだ。
今回、サンプルとして利用する組織と人物を紹介しよう。
 まず、本記事のために生贄に選ばれてくれた美人狩ことshu oisibb。この無慈悲な解説記事の生贄にしていいかと聞かれ、しぶしぶながらも���裸に剥かれることを同意してくれた。
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  まず、この画像から読み取れる範囲を観測してみよう。まず、撃墜数と撃沈数からみてほしい。 撃墜数2382 撃沈数635
この数は、フリート戦を積極的に出ている人物であるならば、さほど脅威的な数字ではないだろう。しかし、この人物の履歴をよくみてほしい。
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 この画像で判るとおり、この人物は殆どがソロである。つまり、この履歴と撃墜数から読み取れることとして、この人物はソロPvPで勝率70%以上を誇るプレイヤーであることがわかる。
次に、活動領域がBlack riseのローセクであり、EVE TIMEの0900~1800の9時間に活動時間があるという点だ。もう一つ、ロスの情報からブリーチャーを好んでつかっているという点も読み取れる。
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 この人物のロス情報をみると殆どが同じ船である。つまるところ、この人は同じ船ばかり乗っているわけだ。
ここで、shu oisibbのStatsをみてみよう。
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ここから、このプレイヤーの総撃墜数の2382中1719はFGを倒していることがわかる。そして、注目すべきなのは総撃沈数の635のうち550がFGに乗っているという事実だ。 この人物がFG乗りであることが、この履歴からも明白だ。もう少し更に掘り下げてみよう。
ブリーチャーに乗っている履歴が多いので、ブリーチャーのページのtopを参照してみると面白いことがわかる。
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 この人物は、ブリーチャーでの総順位で5位に位置していることが読み取れる。そして、キルスコアが1646。 ここから、撃墜数2382のうち1646はブリーチャーで倒していたことが読み取れた。このことから、この人物の得意な船はブリーチャーであることが断定できるだけの情報が手に入っている。
次に、この人物を倒すための情報を集めてみよう。まず、この人物の活動範囲がBlackrise周辺であることは読み取れた。ブリーチャーのプロであることも理解できたことだろう。
 まず、ブリーチャーのFITを推定するために、この人物のブリーチャーのロスを確認してみよう。
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 このキルメールを二つ比較してもらいたい。この人物を解析する上で非常に有用な情報が含まれている。前者と後者をみるとわかるとおり、この人物のブリーチャーのFITはそこまで大きく変化しない。しかし、damage、point、Locationに差があることがわかるだろう。
前者はゲートキャンプで殺されたものと推察できる。後者はソロで船を落したものであることが読み取れる。
この人物のロスをみると、大きく分けると2種類のロスによっているのが読み取れるのだ。一つはソロ。もう一つゲートキャンプだ。
それ以外のロスは戦闘中に複数に捕まって殺されるパターンだが、これらの事実から次の情報を得ることができる。
・この人物は複数アカウント等でスカウトなどの偵察キャラを保有しておらず、移動先の状況の確認をそこまでしていない
・彼の獲物は基本的にFGであり、タイマンを好んで戦っている。複数での戦闘を基本的に関わっていない
・彼はソロ活動中はブリーチャーにしかのっていない。それ以外のときはフリート行動をしている
・彼の撃沈数から、彼は非常に慎重な性格であり、倒せる相手を選別している
・彼のブリーチャーを倒すには、ソロPvPではトリスタンを使うことが有効である
・彼のブリーチャーを倒すには、ベイトを用いて確実に捕まえてからフリートを進入させれば”殺れる”
・彼のブリーチャーを倒すなら、ゲートキャンプをすれば殺しやすい
この美人ハンターをもっと解析していくと、さらに深い情報は得ることができるが、とりあえずはここまでだ。これらの情報をまとめると
固体名:shu oisibb
生息地:Blackrise
時間帯:AUTZ~EUTZに活動している
特 徴:ブリーチャーを用いて、フリゲートを積極的に狙う
対処法:複数でボコればいい。警戒心は強いが割と食いつく
有効打:トリスタンを使う
友 人:フリート時にはNew FIRST STEP,C8N8O16のメンバーと共に行動している
 彼のzkillを解析していくと、彼には水増し等の粉飾による情報ノイズが非常に少ない。過去の履歴まで遡ってもあまり存在しない。また、彼はフリートとそうでないときの船が非常にわかりやすくブリーチャー以外のときはほぼ確実にフリート活動をしている。
 個人を解析すれば、この程度ぐらいならば慣れれば数分で解析することができるようになる。 もう少し時間をかけていけば、情報をいろいろとれるが、これくらい��わかればzkillから即座に情報を読み取って攻略するというのは難しい話ではないだろう。
   なお、この記事を読んで彼を分析した熟練者たちは気づいていると思うが、簡単にいってくれるな という内容でもある。
3、コーポレーションを読み解く
今回はサンプルとして2つのコープをつかうことにする。
一つ目はNew First Stepだ。
二つ目はIron.Guardだ。
 これらが選ばれた理由はそれなりにある。まず、N-F-SはONCBNが教育コープとして運営している。PvPコープとしての側面はさほどもっていない。いわゆるケアベアコープとしての側面を重視したサンプルとしての選定だ。
FE-SRは、Murakuが大好きなIron Armada. 通称アマダさんの中核コープだ。彼らはPvPコープとして活動はしているものの、非常に有用な情報のサンプルをもっている。今回はその比較対象として有意義なものを選んだ形になる。
まずは、New First Stepから解析してみよう。
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このページの情報からみるとわかるが、少数メンバーのコープであることがまず確認できる。各種スコアも大したことはなく、撃墜と撃沈の割合をみると撃沈した回数のほうが多い。また金額こそ勝ってはいるが、そこまで総撃墜数が多くないことなどから精力的なPvPをしていない可能性は大きく見て取れる。
やはり、ロスの割合は多い。そして、沈んでいる船は比較的高いものが見受けられること。だが、同時にいくつか気になることはこの画像からもみえてくるだろう。
https://zkillboard.com/kill/74012559/ https://zkillboard.com/kill/74054960/
https://zkillboard.com/kill/73978810/
https://zkillboard.com/kill/73181197/
これらのキルメールをみるとわかるが、フリートをしているときはしているようだ。そして、これらのメールからONCBNとなんらかの関係がある組織なのは理解できるだろう。 先ほど述べたshu oisibbもキルメールにのっていることから彼との関係があるのも明白だ。
だが、N-F-S単独で見た場合、キルをとっている人はちらほらみるが、やはりロスが中心だ。このことから、この組織がPvPコープである可能性は非常に弱い。また、基本的にキルボード上から確認できる情報としてキルロスの両方とも感覚があいてることから積極的な姿勢ではない可能性が高い。フリートはN-F-S単独でおこなっているものはなく、常にONCBNかshu oisibbが絡んでいる。
さらに履歴を追っていけば、所属していたメンバーが退社orONCBNに所属している履歴がみつかってくる。つまり、N-F-Sにいた人間はONCBNに所属している=関係会社or友好関係である可能性は濃厚だ
つまり、このことからN-F-S単独でフリート行動を執ることはほぼ皆無である。なんらかの攻撃を仕掛けた際に戦闘となれば、ONCBNと戦う可能性は非常に濃厚である。
そこを考慮すればN-F-Sに戦術単位での戦闘は有効かもしれないが戦略単位での戦闘行為はONCBNを上回る必要性が発生するかもしれない。
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このActivityとActive PvPをみるとやはり積極的だとはいえない。活動はみえるが、ここまでアクティビティがみえないと積極的に自発的なPvPerは少なく活動はキルボードだけでは見えない。
どれくらいの人数規模がいるかは定かではないが、キルメの戦闘参加要員からみれば大まかにN-F-Sからは4~5人ぐらいなのだろうか?推理するための情報がすくないため、一旦FE-SRの解析に移ろう
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 このコープの所属メンバーだけでいえば、それなりの所帯のようにみえる。しかし、membersの数字をここまでくると鵜呑みにしてはいけない。この所属人数のうち何人の人が在籍しており、何人がアクティブで何キャラでてくるのか?などの情報が重要である。
 ここの人数の推論は人それぞれだが、大まかに考えれば308人いれば、最大でも100人ぐらいの所属だろう。では、この推測値をベースにキルボードを覗いていこう。
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 ここの情報は非常に有意義なものが多い。Activityは活動時間帯を示してくれるので、彼らがどのタイムゾーンで強く、弱いのかがよくわかる。次に、Active PvPの数字から活動的なのもわかる。  TOP characterの数字をみると、一人がずば抜けて、ほかは横並び。つまり、常時戦闘しているというよりも必要に応じて出撃している人たちが多いということが伺える。
 好戦的で積極的な人はこの段階でおそらく多くても4人いればいいほうだろう。それ以外はそこまでアクティブに戦闘に出撃しているわけではなさそうだ。
 では、各種キルメールを順に追って解析していってみよう。彼らの活動を丸裸にする作業だ。第一に少数行動時と人数を動員しているキルメールを探す必要がある。各種キルメールは彼らの活動領域と現在の戦闘相手と目的を推察するのに使うことができる。
 まず、彼らの活動領域はニューエデンの西側。もう少し具体的にいえば、Fountain~Pure Blindあたりの範囲が活動的にみえる。ローセクにもちらほら出撃しているようだが、やはりローセクも西側に集中しているようだ。
 基本的には平時は少数の人間がローミングをしており、このコープの一定数が同時に戦闘に参加している機会は少ない。人数を動員したキルレポートを少しみてみよう。
https://zkillboard.com/related/30002039/201812220700/
 ここに移っている人数からみてもおそらくはPvPに対して活動的な人数は10~15.キルメールに移っているキャラクター数だけではないはずなので、せいぜい動員しても最大で30キャラクターといったところだろうか?所属人数は100人と推定しているがおそらくは50~70といったところだろうか?
 このコープは組織だった動きをする際に常にFederation uprisigなどと行動を共にしていることが多いようだ。ここから考えるに、彼らとは友好関係があるのだろう。ということは、彼にら戦略的な戦闘を仕掛ければ、Federation upraisingなどが援軍として駆けつけてくる可能性は高い。
 彼らの迎撃に関する情報は少ないが、基本的に即応戦力は最大でも5だと見積もってもよさそうだ。それなりの作戦になれば人数がでてくるし、彼らのタイムゾーン以外で戦うにしても戦闘員はちらほらいるようだ。
 N-F-SとFE-SRのどちらに対しても戦闘をする際に気をつけたいのは、彼らのTZで彼らの最大戦力と戦うには彼らの人数と経験を上回らなければ蹂躙される可能性が高い。特にFE-SRはかなりの数のキャピタルを一度に動員している履歴があることからも戦力はかなり保有していることが伺える。
4、アライアンス単位で読み解く
アライアンスの解析をする際に必要な情報を事前の解説で触れることができた。アライアンス単位の解析になると重要になってくる要素がいくつかある。
まず、ハッキリと述べておくがzkillだけでそのアライアンスの強さを量りきることは不可能だ。しかし、アクティブや主要戦力などはおおよそ検討がつくだろう。
アライアンスではサンプルを用いない。理由は簡単だ。サンプルを提供してもそのサンプルに関する情報をある程度もっていないと解析しきるのが難しくなるからだ。
基本の解析方法はコーポレーションと変わらない。しかし、留意すべき点がいくつかある。
・所属コープが多数の大規模アライアンスと小~中規模では比較方法が変わってくる。
・小規模、中規模のアライアンスはコープ解析と概ね変わらない。
これは、小中規模のアライアンスに所属するコープは単独コープでの作戦や活動が少ないためだ。無論ないわけではないがほぼ皆無といっていい。
 まず、アライアンスを解析する際に必ず参考にすべき部分として、TOP corporationの部分だ。このコープの数が単一、もしくは少数である場合はほとんどコーポレーションの解析と手順は変わらない。
問題は、所属コープが増えてきた場合だ。一定の規模になるとアライアンス内に各コープからメンバーが所属して活動している特殊部隊的なものがあったり、各コープが単独行動していることもある。アライアンスでの活動とコープでの活動がバラバラであり、情報量が増える為に分析の際にノイズが増えて解析が困難になる場合がある。
5、便利機能から解析する
 zkillにはstats表示やら色々な便利なものがある。
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 右側のStatsはAll Time/Recent/weeklyと右側のタブになるほど短い期間での成績がわかる。直近の活動実績などを調べるのによく使える。
 画像右下部にあるゲージは対象が脅威度とソロか、フリートでの行動の多さを示している。左ゲージは赤なほど危険である。 右側のゲージは赤なほどフリートが多いことを示す。
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少し下をみてみると画像上部に各種メニューがあるのがみえるだろう。これは左から順に説明する、
Overview:全体を表示します。キル/ロス両方を確認できます Kill:攻撃に関与したキルメールのみ表示します。
solo:ソロでのキル/ロス両方を確認できます。 Losses:ロスのみ表示します。
Top(Alltime Top/Monthly Top):
対象の全期間と一ヶ月間のキル数での各種順位を表示します。
Ranks:対象と同一単位でのランキングを確認できます。
Stats:対象を様々な単位での戦績を確認できます。特定の船のキルロス数、金額、月間戦績
Supers:直近三ヶ月間でタイタン/スーパーキャリアーを用いた戦闘の数を表示します。
Corp Stats:アライアンスのみ表示。所属しているコープの簡易情報が確認できます。
API:アライアンスのみ表示。所属しているコープのzkillへのESI登録状況を確認できます。登録されていると自動でzkillへのキルメールの投稿が行われます。
DOTLAN:組織(コープ、アライアンスのみ表示)対象のDOTLANページを表示します。
EVE WHO:対象のEVE WHOのページを表示します。
 これらの機能を用いれば対象の活動状況などもそれなり確認できるので、各種機能に触れて運用方法を理解するとよいだろう。
 他にもzkillには色々な機能が存在しているので興味がある人は調べてみるとよいだろう。
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thedeadflag · 7 years ago
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What's g!p?
g!p: Stands for Girl Peen or Girl Penis
It’s a popular, very harmful and transmisogynistic trope that’s commonly championed by people who aren’t trans women as fun and ‘sinful’ and kinky (as if whole marginalized groups being someone’s kink isn’t a clear sign that that person has thoroughly dehumanized that social group in their mind). A lot of big name fandom writers engage in the trope, and some have ridden those works and their exploitation of trans women to personal profit through patreon or paypal donations or self-published for profit erotica, all at the expense of trans women in fandom, and often under the guise of being trans-inclusive/supporting trans people. Some of the bigger names on Ao3 are Rae D Magdon, N1ghtwr1ter, Blackrising, buk19, KarnsteinRosenberg, TheEvangelion, commandmetobewell, April_kom_Trikru13, ComicBookGeek1818,  Kendarr, among many, many others 
In femslash works, it’s when someone:
takes a fetishized version of a trans woman’s body and uses it as a vehicle to write their smut and/or pregnancy fetish fics through
discards trans experience from their fics, and writes about our bodies in generally incorrect and/or impossible ways, basically showing zero interest in actually representing us, and full interest in misrepresenting us in ways that are directly tied to physical and sexual real life violence against us, purely to sate their sexual fantasies
(also common, but not always present) attaches their pent up baggage and taboo fantasies about cis men (due to compulsory heterosexuality and toxic masculinity) to the g!p characters, which more or less blatantly casts trans women as  toxic, sexually predatory cis men. As an example, 50 Shades of Grey and Twilight both featured toxic cis men romantic leads that women in society tend to be conditioned to find attractive…some wlw see trans women and our bodies as close enough to manhood and maleness for them to engage in the compulsory het messages they were taught, so they can have that toxic, powerful/dominant, dangerous male person with all the associated power dynamics, PiV sex, and potential pregnancy without necessarily compromising their sexuality so long as they accept trans women as women on a surface level (they don’t tend to, deep down)
Characters chosen to be the g!p character in the fic tend to be the more masculine of the women, the more aggressive ones, the taller ones, the ones with more power/status, the more violent ones, the ones with more angular features, the darker-skinned characters, etc. I could list more, but the pattern should be fairly clear.
I have other posts on the topic here and here and here, or on my education page if you are interested in learning more
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chanellulu · 5 years ago
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So fresh #lunch #lunchtime #lunchdate #fruttidimare #restaurant #rise #food #cibo #fish #fishfood #italy #kitchen #cucina #hungry #foodporn #insalatadimare #fishfood #cozze #prezzemolo #fishsalad #love #me #lifestyle #gamberoni #gamberetti #blackrise #gamberi #pesce #lemon https://www.instagram.com/p/B0a7xBDi9jz/?igshid=92n5oxmlptj8
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feeltripping · 8 years ago
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Are there anymore writers you would recommend on AO3??? I love your stuff btw, I reread all the time!!!
:o thanks! Ummm. For smut or not smut? My favourite t100 writers of all time are KL and Thrace. For smut: check out lingeringlilies and gera, chaoticspaces, reshopgoufa, faithtastic, blackrising, filthtastic... these are off the top of my head and pretty well known but tbh I'm picky and busy and don't have as much time as I'd like to read fic. Other writers I've read that I thought were really good are wariangle, whythis, idontevenwhat, nightshifted, coldmackerel, nataliving, smallamountsofmonster, fuscience, possibilist. Gosh I know I'm forgetting some. Who are your guys' favourite authors and fics? I'm a picky contrary hoe with some unpopular opinions tbh.
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the-queen-and-her-soldier · 8 years ago
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Lol, I didn't want to join the discussion but I think Rae picks quantity over quality (she has great stories tho, of course). On the other hand, Blackrising (sorry I don't know your name), in my opinion, takes her time, yeah, but when one of her fics come out it doesn't dissapoint, you can see the cohesion, the solid structure of her smut! And she has a better narrative. The end.
I appreciate the vote of confidence, friend.
To put a rest to this whole thing:
Comparing one author with another is something that, sure, most people will do. But the fact of the matter is, people are gonna have different opinions. I’m sure Rae is a terrific writer and it’s up to everyone to decide for themselves whether they prefer her stories or my stories, or a different writer altogether!
The key to not being a shoddy writer is knowing and accepting that, hey, there will always be someone who is better at this than I am. Knowing you’re not perfect is the only way to improve.
And the best thing about all that? Readers don’t have to choose. They get to take their pick of the sheer mass of stories on the internet and I believe that makes everyone happy.
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lettersnorth · 2 years ago
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The crew comes to an agreement
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nanayo0774 · 8 years ago
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久しぶりに三鷹のカフェで。サラダ、ピクルス、スープ、煮物など豊かなバリエーションで調理された野菜たち。さすが人気のお店だなと!#vegetableplate #blackrise (presso Half Way)
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blackrise975 · 7 years ago
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#merepuppets #quotes #blackrise #actors #acting #starts #ends
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daniellemarie555 · 8 years ago
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Selling my new Not Rated blackrising boots that I got as a present. They have beautiful embellishments & detail. Zip up the inside of the boots. Unfortunately these felt a little too tight on me because I'm a 7. I would think these are true to size. If u have any questions or feel like making an offer just let me know! Happy poshing & thanks for visiting my closet.
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ao3feed-cassfeminquisitor · 8 years ago
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I Don't Really Want You (But You Can't Be Free)
read it on the AO3 at http://ift.tt/2kphzb6
by Blackrising
He stopped before descending the stairs and shook his head. There was no sign of mockery in his tone now - it was a simple advice, given between two people who had fought side by side too long to distrust each other completely. “Perhaps you’re asking yourself the wrong questions, Seeker. Perhaps you shouldn’t be asking whether you’re attracted to women, but whether you’re attracted to her.”
- OR -
The Inquisitor is kind of a slut and Cassandra wishes she didn't care.
Words: 6776, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English
Fandoms: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Categories: F/F
Characters: Female Lavellan, Cassandra Pentaghast
Relationships: Female Inquisitor/Cassandra Pentaghast
Additional Tags: Femslash, Smut, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Omega Verse, Knotting, Pregnancy Risk, Alpha Cassandra, Omega Inquisitor, The Inquisitor has sex with everyone, No one but Cassandra cares, Jealousy
read it on the AO3 at http://ift.tt/2kphzb6
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lettersnorth · 2 years ago
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Blackrise: Malicious Compliance
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Getting information about Kazushige's current whereabout from the Maelstrom was like pulling teeth. Aislinn would not be disuaded, however, and though calm and methodical as her inquiries were, it soon became clear she wasn't going to be shaken off. Eventually, she had been directed here, to Camp Bronze Lake. She supposed that was a good sign. Bronze Lake was a spot of respite. Maybe Cravendy's concerns hadn't been as bad as she first thought. 
After asking around the hot springs, she finds him  up here, staring out over a cliffside ledge. The gravel crunched under her boots as she made her approach. But she remained behind the low fence. The memory of plunging from a cliffside is still a little too fresh in her mind, thank you very much
"Kazushige." She says, more than certain he had tracked her approach and was aware of her presence.
She's not wrong; he's aware of her approach as soon as he can be, but not as soon as he should be. It's her first clue that something is off, because he only turns to watch her approach once she's around the corner of the building--and he looks a little startled to see her there. He smooths that out of his expression with a blink. "Aislinn," he starts, low and pleasant enough, but there's a hesitant lilt as the sound tapers off. An unspoken question. Why are you here?
Kazushige no longer has a bandage wrapped snug around his head, but there's a small shaved section at the back of his head, a lumpy, healing gash against his scalp. His eyes are dark, he holds himself straight-backed but it's not as effortless as it usually is.
The startled look in his eye sends a disconcerted ripple through her. She’d very nearly surprised him. She shouldn’t have been able to. “I came to see how you’re doing.” She replied to the unspoken question as her sharp gaze sweeps over him, taking in the tell-tale signs that all is certainly not well. He’s making an effort, she’d give him that. “People back at Heartwood have been saying they’re concerned.
Kazushige smiles faintly, but it's placating. "I appreciate the concern, but I am well." It's such a well-practiced dismissal that it almost sounds genuine. He gestures slightly to their surroundings. "My injuries have been tended, and I expect to return to the field shortly." He steps away from the cliffside, back behind the barrier--perhaps so the conversation is a little less awkward for the distance, perhaps so he can start making a hasty retreat (though he doesn't, yet).
Aislinn tilts her head as she listens to the practiced tone. She would have believed him. But she believed Cravendy more. “I understand they have you paying off this debt. But they don’t have a right to run you into the ground, you know.” She can see him trying to discreetly edge his way around her and pins him with her gaze. “I made myself a nuisance with the Maelstrom to find you here. I can make myself a nuisance to you too.” She says but there’s a spark of stark, bone dry humor in her eye that makes it unclear as to whether she’d actually follow through.
Kazushige blinks slowly--and then tellingly enough, he looks away. His gaze settles somewhere on the crumbling ruins, the hills, the lake--anywhere else, and the silence stretches onwards between them, as though he's not sure how to answer her. He's a man with so many walls up between him and everyone else that it's difficult to find ways to say yes, or no, or help.
Kazushige's fingers flex lightly at his sides. "Ah. Heartwood as a whole is paying the debt, I am... merely in a position to help in more direct ways."
Aislinn waits him out. Unlike most, a little silence never bothered her, nor did she ever feel the need to fill it with a bunch of words. Besides that, she knows a little bit about putting on a face, going alone and getting on with it. As he turns to stare anywhere but at her, she takes a moment to get a better look at his head injury, but from this distance she can’t say whether they’d patched it up right or not. “I know all about the ‘position’ they have you in. Can’t say it sits right with me. How long do they expect you to keep this up? Until they get you killed?”
Kazushige's brow wrinkles downwards. There's a bitterness that creeps itself into his expression, and a weariness that combats it. He sighs quietly. "I imagine it is simply a matter of using what they have at their disposal when all resources are stretched thin." It's a reasonable assessment of his situation. A generous one, even. A frustrating one, too--maybe he should be angry. Maybe he /is/ angry, but he buries it under propriety and obedience.
Or maybe he just doesn't see himself alone as something worthy enough to be angry over. To fight for. "With luck, we'l see a resolution before it comes to that, however." He does give her a hint of a wry smile, there, so that's something.
Aislinn narrows her eyes at him, wordlessly asking him if he really believed that or any of the talk about utilizing what they had at their disposal. Inhaling a breath, she motions to his head. “Can I at least take a look at that while I’m here?” She asks. “Put my mind at ease and all that.”
At her scrutiny, his expression softens. Logically, sure, he believes it. Or rather, he believes that's what the Alliance tells themselves to make it easier. "Ah," he hesitates, and it's obvious there's no good reason for him to refuse. The tips of his claws dig slightly into his palms. "The Resonance reacts more often to aether," he warns her softly. Is it a gambit to get her to rethink the offer, or the truth? Perhaps it's both.
Aislinn watches him hem and haw, a flicker of doubt moving across her face. She studies him silently, trying to judge the truth of his words while weighing the risk. She shifts a bit, more of a resettling than anything. She’d come here for a purpose. She didn’t like leaving with it undone. She could, of course. Turn away. But its a level of selfishness she couldn’t live with. “All the same.” She says, tipping her chin up. “There a place you can sit around here?” She turns and glances around them. “Because let’s face it, I’m not getting a good look from way down here.”
Kazushige manages (just barely) to keep himself from deflating in the wake of her stubborn determination to see it through, but perhaps it shouldn't surprise him. For as stoic as he is, he always seems to bend to wills steelier than his own, and Aislinn is no exception. Her comment does get a quiet chuckle out of him. "There ought to be something, yes."
Aislinn follows Kazu to a small table surrounded by several stools. He takes a seat and she draws closer, her fingers gentle as they tip his head down so she can get a good look at the wound. “Does it still hurt?” She asks before proceeding, scrutinizing the stitch work and looking for signs that it may not have been healing right.
Kazushige dutifully, he leads them to an empty table, and takes a seat. It's easy enough to turn his back to her, but his motions are stiff and wary, his shoulder tight with stress. At this height, she can get a better look at the gash, at least--it's angry looking, yellowed with bruising that belies he was likely struck with something blunt. The stitching is adequate, but not meticulous, and from the look of things he's mostly been left to heal on his own, rather than with aether.
The sight causes a low, angry noise to tumble from Aislinn’s throat. Stitchwork with no sign of any attempt made to facilitate the healing of the wound with aether. “What the hells happened? Someone really managed to clock you from behind? And is this Resonance of yours the reason they refuse to use aether?”
Kazushige is silent in the wake of her questions. Either he doesn't know the answers, or he does and he's considering how best to phrase them. "I was caught unaware, yes. I was..." He trails off for a moment, shrugging one shoulder in lieu of shaking his head.
Kazushige closes his mouth instead. How does he admit that he's not sure exactly how bad the injury is, because the pain is being handled by the compound he's already on? He can feel it in his sluggish reflexes, in the limitations of his spatial awareness, in the lack of coordination of his movements, in the vertigo when he moves too quick. But pain? A dull soreness, as he'd indicated. He mulls it over in silence.
It makes a hot flare of defiant indignation on his behalf flare up under her surface. She lets it out in a huff of breath. “Look, I ain’t saying you and I probably don’t have some things to hash out, but I got more than a little respect for you, Kazushige. And if what I’m hearing is right, they’re using you like you’re disposable. And this bomb collar? Inhumane. You good with just wearing that thing for gods’ knows how long or until one of them has a bad day and hits the button?” As she speaks, she reaches out a tattooed finger. Halts. Fists her hand in hesitation and then gives herself an angry shake directed at herself this time. Was she really going to be like them when she knows she can do more for him? She begins writing an aetheric calculation across the wound, rerouting channels of aether to the site of injury.
Kazushige stiffens. Given that she's at his back, she likely sees the way the scales at the back of his neck start to bristle--though they're somewhat inhibited by the subdermal nodules affixed there to pair with those at the front of his throat, holding the whole thing in place. "What solution do you propose, Aislinn?" He asks carefully. "It--chafes," he admits through a clenched jaw, "but--what was the alternative?" He swallows, his tail coiling and folding itself around his ankle.
As the incantation settles, it's likely clear to her there's more than just the wound affecting him. There's a drug in his system, its influence thick and heavy in his bloodstream.
She was quiet as she concentrated. There was more at work here than just the head wound. Something was poisoning his system. She could leave it. The idea was laughable really. Aislinn fixed things, that’s what she did. Leaving the compound in his system wasn’t something she could do even though she knew it’d cost her more aether and therefore more risk. “It’s a piece of technology, Kazushige. Technology fails. All the time. Sometimes on purpose.” She said, hoping to get her point across. “I’m guessing something like that came from the Ironworks. I hear they’re really good about keeping their schematics organized.”
Kazushige: "And afterwards?" He asks quietly, "do you think they would simply allow me my freedom after it 'fails'?" His hands tighten on the hem of his yukata, working into the fabric as he feels her start to work on his wound.
“Do you really think after all this they’ll just remove the collar, clap you on the shoulder and wish you the best?” She countered. “I’m thinking you’re smarter than that.” She feeds cleansing aether through his system, making adjustments to her calculation on the fly, in hopes that she can neutralize whatever compound was dulling his senses. 
Kazushige's jaw clenches hard at her words. Is he so naïve? Does he expect to be able to win his own freedom by playing by rules he's already witnessed firsthand were malleable, goalposts shifting nearer or farther all depending on the whims of the Alliance? No. He expects to be a tool to them, until he lives out his usefulness. But he doesn't see a way out.
"So what do you suggest? That I run? Did you suggest the same to--?" He bites back on the unexpected bitterness that creeps into his words, the name locked abruptly behind his teeth. He feels the soothing aether begin to wash over him, but it doesn't stop at the dull throbbing in the back of his skull as he expects it to. It starts to trickle through him, and his vision blurs for a moment. He ducks his head slowly into a hand, a sharp, familiar ache beginning to flare up behind his eyes.
She doesn’t need to think overly long to know who Kazushige was referencing. “No.” She says, her voice softening around the edges. Her sigh is a quiet sound. “I don’t know what I’m suggesting. Only that I can see where this road leads, Kazushige. I don’t want that.” She notices the moment his head dips. He’s clutching his head as if in pain. She pulls back her aether, concern flooding her. “Kazu? You alright?” 
Kazushige breathes out as her aether withdraws. It leaves the ache behind, but it doesn't worsen--for the moment.
"I'm--alright." No. No, she wouldn't have told Florus to run. "I know where it leads, too, Aislinn." He speaks quietly, waiting for the ache to subside, but it just continues to throb static into his vision, hissing into his horns, even his voice sounds scratchy and distorted (though it isn't).
"I--" Awkwardly, he's at a loss. He's too proud for a bald-faced lie, but it's not easy to redirect a doctor when they've realized something is wrong.
She stops. Pulls back and circles around him, kneeling before him so she can get a good look at his face, trying to understand what was going on. Something was wrong, it was all over his manner, the way he held his head. Is this what he tried to warn her about? Or was this something else? “You don’t look alright. Keep breathing. How painful, 1-10? Be honest."
Aislinn: ((The memory Kazu would see through the Resonance: https://lettersnorth.tumblr.com/post/187623903402/prompt-9-hesitate
Kazushige: ((omg, wee Aislinn ;A; ))
Kazushige hears her. He hears her, and he watches her as she comes around and he wants to answer her, but when he opens his mouth to try, there's just a choked noise at the back of his throat as he lurches forward. He tries to catch himself on the table, but it's too late; he's slumping off the seat, and his awareness is lost in a memory.
To Aislinn's discerning experience, he looks for all the world like he's having a seizure--and if she's ever seen someone descend into the Echo normally, this is not like that. Whatever method had been used to graft this ability into Kazushige is brutal and inefficient, replicating a desired effect without mind to what it might do to the recipient. How it achieves this is difficult to say without an understanding of what, exactly, was done to him, and perhaps an understanding of the Echo, besides.
Eventually, it subsides.
A swift cry of alarm leaves her as he suddenly slumps forward. She tries to catch him but he’s a towering Au Ra and she is…decidedly not. Her small frame is knocked aside and her hip hits painfully against the wooden boards beneath them. She hasn’t seen him when the resonance takes hold but what she has seen in her colorful history are overdose seizures. This isn’t that, but, nevertheless, she pushes herself up and hurries to try and move Kazu onto his side, to tear off a nearby cushion from one of the chairs to place under his head. All the while, she tells him it’ll be fine. Just keep breathing. But she’s not sure if it’s him or herself she’s trying to convince. When it finally subsides, she pulls the flask of water from her hip and unscrews the top, setting it next to him. “Easy, now.” She says, her voice shaking along with the breakneck pace of her pulse. 
It takes time for Kazushige to come back to himself, his breath shuddering and uneven. Echoes of pain pulse behind his eyes and rakes claws back along the inside of his skull, but slowly it begins to subside enough to where he registers Aislinn's presence. He feels more than he hears the sound of her water flask being set next to him, and carefully, he cracks his eyes open a fraction.
He grimaces, and while he should perhaps know better than to try and rise, he struggles to do so anyway, if only in an attempt to show that he's fine. He's fine. The constant throbbing dulls just slightly as vertigo assails him once he's sitting up, but better that than the alternative.
"I--I apologize," he says haltingly, as though that might do something for the alarm still writ in her features, as though he isn't the one worth worrying over. He's struggling to pull the stoicism he normally wears back around his shoulders, but it's all he can do to run a trembling hand down his face. The visions began in fragments, but now--now they were clearer than they'd ever been, but the fits and the pain were worse.
Dragging his hand away from his face, it drops to his side as he pats at his pockets and produces a small vial, a handful of capsules rattling inside the glass. Though he'd taken a dose already this morning, succumbing to one of the Echo visions always leaves the same migraine behind for bells afterwards, and it's only when he's fighting with the cork stopper that he hesitates.
"...these are, ah. Gentle Fist provided something for the migraines when they began," he starts to explain, although given the time frame, there's no way those were the same capsules Gentle Fist had made for him.
She stays there, sitting on the decking as he stubbornly pulls himself up. He doesn’t look half as steady as he’d like her to believe and she tenses, half ready to jump into action should he topple over again. 
“Don’t.” She shakes her head in the wake of his apology. “Not like you didn’t warn me.”
She doesn’t ask what he saw. She doesn’t want to know. Like him, she’s adept at sweeping things under the rug. Shoving as much as she can under there and then carrying on. She’s made an art out of it. 
When the vial of pills comes out, something in her hedges. She had read his medical file before coming out here, she knows Gentle Fist was providing him with pills to combat the constant migraines from which he suffered. But the math is all wrong. Kazushige had been with the Alliance long enough that whatever the Roegadyn had made for him surely must have run out by now. 
“Wait.” She says, sharp and with half a mind to reach out and grab the vial from his hands. “The Alliance. They know about the migraines or the pills you need to hold them off?” 
Kazushige meets her question with silence. He turns his gaze down to the bottle, rolling it between the calloused pads of his fingers. He exhales quietly, coming to terms with something internally. He could have tried harder to avoid this conversation (and perhaps obligation would have had him do so), but try as he might to appear otherwise, Kazushige is not a machine. He's not without self-awareness, as much as he tries to swallow over it or shove it aside--most of the time.
"They do. These are their make," he answers softly, "the migraines worsened as the Resonance was triggered more frequently." He might be able to wrangle his voice enough to sound steady and calm, but there's a storm in his expression. He stares hard at the vial, then lifts his gaze to meet her eyes, and perhaps it speaks into the silence for him. Perhaps it confirms her suspicions--but what can they do about it?
There’s a whole undercurrent of unspoken words that flows between them. Nothing needs to be said, he’s aware whatever is in those pills is more than just a cure for his migraines. And her lips fall into a thin, flat line. Because he was right, what could they do about it? And she can commiserate. It’s a helpless, impotent position she’s found herself in far too many times. But she hasn’t exhausted every avenue yet.
“They don’t get to just do what they want.” It’s more a defiant remark than any sort of truth. 
Because didn’t they? Wasn’t that the privileged position of authority? To do whatever they felt, run roughshod over anyone caught on the outside and call it justice? But short of breaking Kazushige out of the collar and condemning him to a life as a fugitive, what exactly was she going to do? She had to stay within the lines to be of any real help whatsoever. At least for now. 
“The agreement was you work off your debt. Not try and kill you by tossing you out on every suicide mission they can come up with. They’ve got to expect we’re going to have a problem with that.” 
The alchemist in her rises to the forefront. “Do you mind if I take one back with me? I’d like to figure out what they’re dosing you with. Maybe I could make an argument from there in regards to your treatment, especially if they’re purposefully drugging you. Maybe pivot and wedge myself in here as your physician since they’re obviously doing such a piss poor job of it. I’m former Maelstrom, if it comes down to it. They couldn’t say I don’t have the training.” 
Kazushige doesn't realize he's holding his breath as he listens to Aislinn, tension threading its way through every limb until he's so wound up it's only a matter of time before something snaps, if things keep going the way they are. Every time he catches that hint of defiance in Aislinn's words, however, it drags him a little closer to the surface of the mire he's drowning in. Just as Cravendy had, she reminds him there are always ways to fight back, even if he can't see them.
He breathes out, slow and unsteady. He works at the cork until it's free and dumps a handful of the capsules into his palm, offering them out in Aislinn's direction. They look innocuous. Benign. They both know this isn't the case, but even if the likelihood of foul play is high--it's not a given. It may well be that anything strong enough to deal with his migraines has side effects, but it is certainly worth knowing for certain.
"Tread lightly," he warns quietly, though she likely doesn't need to hear it, "the chirurgeons who have been providing these are not necessarily the ones who decided on the formula, or its purpose." They'd be a convenient scapegoat, however--even if the orders came from higher up the chain. Discrediting them might give Aislinn her in, regardless.
Aislinn appreciates the warning. It was a delicate balancing act, not to let her pursuit of answers or her frustration slip the rein and run away with her. But again, for the second time in recent memory, the reminder comes to her unbidden, that there wasn’t ever a problem that was solved by losing one’s head.
“I will.” She promises him as she pockets the pills.
She stays with him until he’s steady and, if not better, at least able to rise to his feet. She’s reluctant to leave, knowing what she’s leaving him to. But she also she knows right now it’s the only way to try and help him.
Kazushige seems to recover well enough, though he takes one of the capsules and chases it with a sip from the canteen Aislinn had left out earlier, offering it back to her once he's finished and back on his feet. It's obvious enough he's still trying to cling to the unbothered stoicism he usually wears as he rises, whether out of a sense of pride or, more likely, the comfort of familiarity.
It's increasingly clear there's an uncomfortable dichotomy between the face he presents often to Heartwood--a steady pillar of leadership--and the man he is beneath his obligations. He yields too easily to the desires and expectations of others, but maybe that's why he tries to hold himself apart. It begs the question of why he's here, why he's putting himself through this when he could escape, what he wants--if anything. Maybe he doesn't know.
He offers her a small smile, placating and automatic. "I will be well enough. The Maelstrom seems a little less willing to simply throw me to the wolves." The smile falters, splintering into something more raw. He glances aside, starts taking a step away from her along the wharf.
"...thank you." It feels inadequate.
It’s clear he’s grasping for that familiar cover of steady calm. Trying to pull it over him like a well worn blanket. Well, Aislinn can relate. Sometimes it's the only thing you can control when everything else seems out of your hands. And so, she lets him have it. 
“Of course.” She murmurs as she rises and it almost seems equally automatic. “Though, I hope I can have something to show that will warrant thanks.” That, was a little more honest. 
Again, she seems reluctant to leave him in this drugged state, senses dulled that otherwise could be used to keep him alive on these punishing missions Cravendy told her of. But the sooner she finds the answer, the sooner she can return and be of real help. 
She leaves him with the same optimistic words Cravendy gave her, “Just like every time we deal with shite, we’ll all live past this mess.” There’s a tightness in her chest that says even if she had her doubts, she really just wanted to believe it. 
Then, with a nod, she takes her leave, assuring him once more. “I’ll be back soon.” 
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