#black women and lesbians die instead. omg

[llycaons]

reese reese it rhymes with grease

[doomalade]

There's a lot I can forgive RWBY for. I was ready to forgive them for their mishandling of nuts n dolts, especially once they brought penny back. I can forgive them for bumbleby's weirdness, as it was actually pretty well done for the most part. But what I cannot forgive. Is them taking Joan of Arc, one of my personal heroes and an absolute badass, and turning her into a whiny bitch boy whose story has nothing to do with her. He is responsible for the most deaths, all of them women being fridged for the occasional flavor addition to his nothingburger of a story. Literally why are we even supposed to root for him? The most we know about his past is that he's a liar. (got into beacon via false papers) Literally even salem is easier to root for than jaune because at least she has some sort of tragic motivation of losing a lover that people can actually relate to! I've tried to get into rwby several times and every time, the black hole that is jaune singlehandedly dragging the story down is what either mostly or completely ruins it. (I've got problems with Oscar too, but that's a story for a different rant) I'm starting to think people are right about RWBY being a Shonen because it has a fucking misogyny problem, and that problem's name is Jaune Arc.

Omg thank you!

This is exactly my feelings on why Jaune is so disgusting as a character.

RT took Joan of Arc, a historical figure, a symbol of feminism, who led a Holy War and is an important person in French history and overall is a current symbol of bravery and leadership.

Jaune is a clueless loser who lied to get into Beacon and only got somewhat good at fighting because Pyrrha had to baby him.

And then Pyrrha dies for Jaune’s character.

And then Weiss gets impaled for Jaune’s character.

And then Penny is killed by Jaune for Jaune’s character.

And then Jaune takes up even more screen time (the Jaundice arc took over half of the total time of V1 btw)

And then RT had the fucking balls to make Jaune accuse Ruby of being selfish and instead of being pissed at Jaune, WBY hug him because his paper people that he enslaved became rocks???

Joan is a symbol of feminism

And Jaune is a symbol of misogyny

I mean look at the people associated with his character

Miles “I like watching women kiss” Luna and the lunatic Jaune Stans that have attacked me for 3 weeks for pointing out that Ilia is a lesbian.

Jaune Arc needs to die

He should have died before the show even started

What a horrible and ugly and disgusting character

[firespirited]

Mum accidentally ended up under a pile on when she said death threats against DV survivors were not okay when JKR was brought up by someone totally ignorant of the past decade's drama and the very angry very sweary 'death to joanne' replies poured in. She was then labelled a terf by some teenagers for asking why their anger was directed at jkr and not the tories in power which made clear she was British and an older woman.

She's very literal and doesn't believe in death threats against paedophiles either, just that they should be locked up. That's just how she is... Readmore for length.

So I had to explain what trans exclusionary radical feminists were, how they labelled themselves & it's not a slur and how outrage online isn't rational and often isn't focused at the systemic issues but fallen heroes also often turn into the biggest scapegoats.

The thing that really got to her was the disproportionate energy people had for hating jkr but not other authors or politicians who are far worse, the energy for outrage but no political/community engagement elsewhere.

I wasn't really able to explain why people have energy to be mad at jkr but don't do any offline activism or even get that angry at politicians, there's a sort of passivity, the sense that the game is rigged I guess but people feel maybe they might have the power to make jkr uncomfortable talking smack about marginalised people in public ??

It's hard to explain, on some level I feel like people enjoy bullying and when there is a righteous reason then it's ok to engage in such "fun". On the other, I'm seeing this strange manifestation of trauma where people will be vicious with people who fail to live up to perfection (and that definitely includes trans women - think Hot Allostatic Load: it's a great article that explains something I've seen play out too many times but also isabel fall and the lady who made the mistake of griping about being locked out of the local lesbian scene and ended up painted as the evil pervert who coined the cotton ceiling - she was just really lonely and rightfully sad) with the stored anger and pain that deserved to be directed at multiple systemic issues and instead comes out like a firehose on a peer who is no longer a 'good' peer so they're the enemy. I'd love to read any psych studies but I'm not sure what key words. I know a lot of people are noticing this: energy for rage, apathy for even minor changes we can make. I've seen multiple "stop with the 'omg look at this terf who deserves to die' when you're just retraumatizing trans people by boosting" in the same way that people of colour had to beg for folks to stop boosting black and brown people being brutalised, just graphically making people relive that trauma but please boost actions and learning instead. You know what I'm talking about? Right.

I know the world is terrifying right now but the way social media has raised folks to channel it is not healthy let alone constructive. I'm not sure how to help and not sure how mum can ever regain her purity in the eyes of the little book group she's in. She doesn't like gender, she's actually long been gender non conforming but doesn't know any of the vocabulary. She's still processing trauma from DV and being in a cult so being told how to think gets her hackles up even when she's trying to be as logical and fair as possible. I'm scared the gender crits will reach out and say "hey we're real feminists who care about women, we don't even hate trans folk, come hang out with us and leave behind the rude meanies".

I don't know where to start. With pretty much all other marginalisations we have had people in our life to relate to. Mum's got lesbian, gay, black, Muslim, jewish, sex worker, disabled and mentally ill friends but zero point of reference for trans folk above 14-15 (a friend's child is autiqueer). If any of her friends came out as trans she'd be eating every book available and ready to advocate for them at doctors appointments but right now it's just an abstract concept that makes no sense when she's never been feminine enough to be more than a failed woman and never been that attached to gender.

How do you explain gender dysphoria to someone who's never experienced gender euphoria?

This is someone who never once questioned the anger behind some black lives matter posts, never took wypipo or 'white woman tears' personally because of course anger comes out messy and of course people don't like to think they're racist and have to deliberately learn to be anti racist and will mess up.

The problem here is that it's very hard to talk gender with someone alienated from anything gender related except misogyny.

I remember back when I got into feminism and she'd given up on all that because it didn't have anything to say for working class women who love men. Womanism had the keys to her heart: loving men + hating the patriarchy that crushes their souls along with yours, not wanting the capitalist dream but a different society.

If you've read this far you deserve dog pics, thank you for letting me rant. I'm going to try and find some books by older trans men and women from similar working class backgrounds (no showbiz) and some intro to Judith Butler. Maybe something on the left eating it's own to explain why these younguns don't know how to just boycott and never listen to jkr again.

Replies are welcome, reblogs not. This is delicate and personal. Please have grace. She's trying. I'm trying.

[rollercoasterwords]

okay i just want to make a stupid unnecessary dumb and sappy ask about thtf

when i first discovered it i was chewing bars, running up walls scratching at my own flesh

because canon compliant long dorlene fic finally 😫‼️😍🐕

not only that. but it wasn’t all 🫶🍓📖🍄🌷 instead it was women having sex!!! and angst!!!

and then (and this is the part that really gets me) marlene is from the north of ireland 🙏 and there’s actual representation of the troubles 🙏 and it’s not just “bombs bombs bombs… irish people are violent 🥺… they’re all criminals obsessed with religion 🥴…dying for a stupid patriotic cause”

idk i just

it just

you’re so!

you’ve just given me something i could actually relate to and i can’t actually express how much this means to me

as a little lesbian girl™ from ni, i just want to say thanks or whatever :)

this is not stupid OR unnecessary omg this message made my whole entire day!!!!

so happy u appreciate the canon compliancy lmao i know it is definitely not everyone's cup of tea but i simply think stories where characters die at the end are neat!! and yes angst my beloved 💕 lesbian sex my beloved 💕 and the troubles!! it means so much to me to hear that my portrayal has resonated with you bc i'd never studied irish history before writing this fic and like....idk anything i'd heard about the troubles felt very black and white and just. as someone who has not spent a lot of time studying irish history but who has spent a lot of time studying colonization in other contexts, painting out a complex conflict in broad strokes of "oh these people are all just violent" will never sit right with me, and i think there are ways to look at violence and try to understand where it's coming from and like the interconnected webs of power it's caught within even if you don't want to condone it outright. so! yeah anyway thank u so much for taking the time to send me this message sending u all the love in the world 💕

[qqueenofhades]

hilary listen the old guards slayed me. I mean the plot the pacing the writing the acting?? the diversity that didn’t feel like lip service? tHAT ENDING??? Charlize Theron also knocked it out off the park. like the bone weary fatigue that comes with seeing too much and for too long could’ve been played as that snarky cynical and jaded god. but she dIDNT. and it was such an impactful and nuanced performance. Agh I’m running out of characters gdi moving over to another ask (1/2)

ALSO BOOKER. I fucking love when they make a characters actions reasonable. like the man is clearly depressed. he’s tired and he wants some sort of agency back in the face of devastating loss over and over again. like waiting for your friends to heal themselves each time they die?? my god that amount of stress has to get to you at some point. which also lends to this self-awareness and surety among all of the characters (especially Nicky omg Nicky you beautiful cinnamon roll). GDI no space (2/3) 

RIGHT. Nicky! what a compassionate but ruthlessly efficient solider (also that part near the end where he puts the gun over his shoulder for joe to take was kinda hot ngl). the juxtaposition is so interesting and compelling and we see it throughout the movie with all of the characters too. even their relationship as a team. it’s odd because they’re really professional with each other but still choose to be a family from the get go. it’s even more profound when you think about it (NO SPACE Y) 3/4 

because that’s the one thing they truly have a choice over. they’re going to see these 4 people for the rest of their long longgg lives and they can very easily say no. I’ll find others and lose them but I refuse to be forced to get stuck with you instead of someone else. they don’t though and such props to the writer who didn’t go down that traditional path of conflict. aggghh I could on about how andy didn’t die either but I’m running out of space Again and have spammed you enough lolollll 

LOOK.

It was as if ye olde Netflix Powers Thatte Be said “look we know 2020 has been a flaming hellpit dumpster of Why God Why, so we’re gonna give the gays everything they want”

There was world-weary ancient Greek warrior short-haired lesbian Charlize Theron (that scene with the hot French pharmacy lady tenderly patching up her shoulder in the bathroom and the obvious sexual tension was SO UNNECESSARY BUT ALSO COMPLETELY NECESSARY GOD BLESS THE FILMMAKERS!) She has lost her equally hot and badass wife and there was Angst and Feelings and now we have Drama with said wife returning from the sea floor and I don’t know what’s gonna happen but my body is ready and I need the sequel immediately.

There were Joe and Nicky, the most beautiful devoted interracial/interreligious mlm immortal husbands who are still completely gaga for each other after hundreds of years, there are absolutely no gay “jokes” or even any calling attention to their status, they whup ass and they make out in front of stormtroopers because why not get you a man who can do both. We have already discussed the fact that I am Deep down the rabbit hole for them.

There was Nile (NILE! I WOULD DIE FOR YOU!) the most PRECIOUS immortal bean, who is a Black woman who literally cannot be shot down, who takes the hits from the military (DON’T THINK I DID NOT NOTICE THAT THE US ARMY WAS ALSO GOING TO PUT HER IN A CAGE/INSTITUTION ONCE THEY FOUND OUT ABOUT HER) and from the white supremacist violence but GETS BACK UP EVERY TIME BECAUSE THEY CANNOT STOP HER WITH THEIR USUAL MINDLESS STATE SPONSORED MACHINE GUNS. She gets to rescue the whole team like a BADASS and go into the lab with the action-hero angles almost ALWAYS received by the Hard Bitten White Man, she gets to tackle the main villain off the top of a goddamn skyscraper and walk away from it while he’s dead, she is nonetheless Sweet and Vulnerable and in need of Protection so she gets to be BOTH the damsel in distress and the hero and I just... I have a lot of feelings about Nile okay.

Even the Hard Bitten White Man we did get, i.e. Booker, is the guy who makes painful choices and is driven by the pain of having to watch his children die and yet also still displays emotions and cares for his other family and awfully regrets what he did to hurt them (and when he realizes Andy’s not healing he PANICS) and now he’s met Quynh and oh the dramaaaa.

I VERY MUCH NOTICED THE CIA AND BIG PHARMA/AN INSUFFERABLE KNOW IT ALL RICH BRITISH WHITE MAN BEING THE VILLAINS UNDER CLAIMING TO DO “GOOD.” THANK YOU. (And good on you Chiwetel Ejiofor, I knew you wouldn’t let Dudley Dursley actually get away with it)

THE ADVENTURES ACROSS HISTORY TO BE! GOOD! PEOPLE! NOT GRIMDARK POINTLESS ANNIHILATION! THEIR HEROISM MEANS SOMETHING IN THE END!!!

THE FOUND FAMILY OF IT ALL. As you note, they completely avoided the “oh no they all hate each other and snipe over petty things and try to kill each other” and went “nope they are a family and they watch football together in their loud church in France where they like to live and all sleep in the same bedroom” LIKE UP YOURS MARVEL CINEMATIC UNIVERSE oops

And Andy DIDN’T die and is gonna see her wife again and now has to reckon with that and has to figure out how to fight when she’s no longer completely invulnerable and has to mentor Nile and figure out how to be part of the team in a different way and and and

(I CAN’T BELIEVE I ORIGINALLY FORGOT TO MENTION IT WAS DIRECTED BY A BLACK WOMAN AND A LOT OF WOMEN WORKED ON IT)

/breathes deeply

Anyway I liked it a normal amount.

[adorpheus]

on fujoshi and fetishization

Lately, more and more, both here on tumblr and on other sites, I keep seeing people spew unfiltered hatred at fujoshi - that is, women who like mlm content such as gay fanfic and fanart featuring men with other men. And I don’t mean like a specific type of fujoshi, like the ones who are genuinely being weird about it, but just like a general hatred for girls (but especially straight identifying girls) who express love for gay romance.

I hate to break this to you all, but women (including straight women!) actually are allowed to like mlm fanfiction and fanart, even enthusiastically so. A woman simply expressing her love of gay fanfic, even if it is in kind of a cringey way or a way that you personally don’t like, is NOT automatically fetishization.

I’ve been on the receiving end of fetishization for my entire life, from a very young age, as many black and brown folx have, so I consider myself pretty well acquainted with how it works. Fetishization isn’t just like, being really into drawings of boys kissing, or whatever the fuck y’all are trying to imply on this god forsaken site. 

Fetishization is complicated imo, and can encompass a lot of things, such as (but not limited to):

1 - dehumanization, e.g. viewing a group of people as sexual objects who exist purely for entertainment purposes, rather than acknowledging them as actual people who deserve respect and rights

and

2 - projecting certain assumptions onto said people based on their race/sexuality/whatever is being fetishized. These assumptions are often, but not always, sexual in nature (like the idea that black people in general are more sexual than other races, etc etc etc).

I’m going to use myself as an example to illustrate my point. Please note this isn’t the best or most nuanced example, but it is the most simplistic. A white person finding me attractive and respectfully appreciating my black features as part of what makes me beautiful is not, on its own, fetishization. A white person finding me attractive solely or mostly because I’m a PoC is now in fetishization territory. Similarly, assuming I’m dominant because of my blackness (like saying “step on me mommy” and shit like that) is hella fetishistic. 

That being said, theres definitely a difference between how fetishization works in real life with real people, and how it shows up in fandom. 

Fetishization manifests in many different ways in fandom, but most commonly on the mlm side of things, I personally see it appear as conservative (or centrist) women who love the idea of two men together, but don’t actually like gay people, and don’t necessarily think LGBT+ people deserve rights (or “special treatment” as its sometimes dog whistled). These women view queer men as sexual objects for entertainment rather than an actual group of people who deserve to be protected from systemic oppression. I’ve noticed that they often don’t even think of the men they “ship” together as actually being gay, and may even express disgust at the idea of a character in an mlm ship being headcanon’d gay. In case its not obvious, this is pretty much exactly the same way a lot of cishet men fetishize lesbians (they see “lesbian” as a porn category, rather than like, what actual LGBT people think of when we read the word lesbian). There’s a pretty popular viral tweet thread going around where someone explains seeing this trend of conservative women who like mlm stuff, and I have also personally witnessed this phenomenon myself in more than one fandom. 

The funny thing is, maybe its just me buuuut.... The place I see this particular kind of fetishization happen most is not in the anime/BL fandom, from which the term fujoshi originates - I actually see these type of women way way more in western fandom spaces like Supernatural, Harry Potter, and Hannibal. I can’t stress this enough, there’s a shocking amount of people who are like, straight up trump supporters in these fandoms. If you want to experience it, try joining a Hannigram or Destiel group on facebook and you will probably encounter one eventually especially if you happen to be living through a major historical event. Like these women probably wouldn’t even be considered “fujoshi”, because that term doesn’t really apply to them given they aren’t in the BL/anime fandom, yet they’re the ones I personally see actually doing the most harm.

Of course this isn’t the ONLY kind of fetishizing woman in the mlm/BL world, there are other ways fetishization shows up, but this is the most toxic kind that I see.

A girl just being really into BL or whatever may be “cringe” to you, or she may be expressing her love for BL in a “cringey” way, but a straight woman really enjoying BL is not, on its own, somehow inherently fetishization. Yes, sometimes teenage girls act kind of cringe about how much they like BL and that might be annoying to you, but its not necessarily ~problematic~. 

That being said, IT NEEDS BE REMARKED that a lot of the “fujoshi” that you all hate so deeply, are actually closeted trans men or nonbinary people who haven’t yet come to terms with their gender identity, or are otherwise just NOT cishet. I know because I was one of these closeted people for years, and I honestly think tumblr and the cultural obsession around purity is one of the many reasons I was closeted so deeply for so long. STORYTIME LOL!!! In my early adolescence, I was a sort of proto “fujoshi”. I identified as a bi girl who was mostly attracted to men, or as most (biphobic) people called it, “practically straight”. I wrote and read “slash” fanfic and looked at as well as drew my own fanart. We didn’t use the term fujoshi back then, but that’s definitely how I could have been described. I was obsessed with yaoi, BL, whatever you want to call it, to a cringe-inducing degree. I really struggled to relate to most het romances, so when I first discovered yaoi fanfics (as we called them at the time), I fell in love and felt like I finally found the type of romance content that was made for me. I didn’t know exactly why, I just knew it hit different. LGBT+ fanart and fanfiction brought me an immense amount of joy, and I didn’t really think too hard about why.

At some point, in my early 20s, after reading lots of discourse™ here on tumblr and other places like twitter, I started to get the sinking feeling that my passion for gay fanfiction was ~problematic~. I had always felt a sense of guilt for being into mlm content, because literally anyone who found out I liked BL (especially the men I dated) shamed me for liking it all the fucking time (which btw is literally just homophobic, like can we talk about that?). In addition to THAT bullshit, now I’m seeing posts telling me that girls who like BL are cringey gross fetishists who inspire rage and should go die? 

Let me tell you, I internalized the fuck out of messages like this. I desperately wanted to avoid being ~problematic~. At the time, I thought being problematic was like the worst thing you could be. I was terrified of being “cancelled”, before canceling was even really a thing. I thought to myself, “oh my god, I’m gross for liking this stuff? I should stop.” I beat myself up over this. I wanted so badly to be accepted, and to be deemed a Good Person by the internet and society at large.

I tried to shape up and become a good ally (lmfao). I stopped writing fanfic and deleted all the ones I was working on at the time. I made a concerted effort to assimilate into cishet culture, including trying to indulge myself more deeply in the few fandoms I could find that had het content I did enjoy (Buffy, True Blood, Pretty Little Liars, etc). I would occasionally look at BL/fanfic/etc in private, but then I would repress my interest in it and not look for a while. Instead I would look at women in straight relationships, and create extremely heterosexual Couple Goals pinterest boards, and try to figure out how I could become more like these women, so I, too, could be loved someday. 

This cycle of repression lasted like eight years. Throughout it all, I was performing womanhood to the best of my ability and trying to become a woman that was worthy of being in a relationship. I went in and out of several “straight” relationships, wondering why they didn’t make me feel the way reading fanfic did. Most of all, I couldn’t figure out why straight intimacy didn’t work for me. I just didn’t enjoy it. I always preferred looking at or making gay fanfiction/fanart over actual intimacy with men in real life. 

Eventually, I stumbled upon a trans coming out video that someone I was following posted online, my egg started to crack, and to make an extremely long story short, after like 3 years of introspection and many gender panic attacks that I still experience to this day, I realized that I’m uh... MAYBE... NOT CIS..!? :|

I truly believe if I had just been ALLOWED TO LIKE GAY STUFF WITHOUT BEING SHAMED FOR IT, I probably would have realized I was trans way way sooner. Because for me, indulging in my love of gay romance and writing gay fanfic wasn’t me being a weirdo fetishist, it was actually me exploring my own gender identity. It is what helped me come to terms with being a nonbinary trans boy.

Not everyone realizes they are trans at age 2 or whatever the fuck. Sometimes you have to go through a cringey fujoshi phase and multiple existential crises to realize how fucking gay you are AND THATS FINE.

And one more thing - can we just be real here? 

A lot of anti-fujoshi sentiment is literally just misogyny. omg please realize this. Its “women aren’t allowed to enjoy things” but, like... with gay fanfics. Some of the anti-fujoshi posts I see come across my dash are clearly ppl projecting a caricature they invented in their head of a demonic fujoshi fetishist onto any woman who expresses what they consider to be a little too much enthusiasm for gay content and then using their perception of that individual as an excuse to justify their disdain for any women, especially straight women, ‘invading’ their ~oh so exclusive~ queer fandom spaces.

 god get over yrselfs this is gatekeeping by another name

idk why i spent so long writing this no one is even going to read it, does anyone even still use this site

*EDIT: HOLY SHIT WHEN DOING RESEARCH FOR THIS POST I FOUND OUT THAT Y-GALLERY IS BACK OMG!!! 

[karaslluthor]

supercorp fanfic masterpost pt.2

this has been in my drafts for over a year so here ya go and hasn't been updated since then but if u haven't read these then ur welcome. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

its literally a big ass list jsyk and i did all the tumblr tags back then so idk if they are still the same users but hopefully lmao. 

original part 1 is here boysss

MULTI FICS

somewhere i have never travelled (http://archiveofourown.org/works/9268886/chapters/21008012)

kara and lena visit all different places lenas lived and then they find a home together and its super cute and fluffy I cry

Paranoia Incarnated - @justmickeyfornow

mickey is my fucking supercorp spiritual guider with the best fucking fic and ive read it about 322934 times and still is sooo good. Also the whole heartbeat thing KILLS me. SO MUCH ANGST but literally its worth the death u go through trust me

Transcendent Interactions 

Kara and lena share this bond thing from birth and can feel each others emotions and they finally meet and its so great like im actually fucking in love with this fic and kara gets herself off all the time thinking lena doesn’t know idk just read it u wont regret I stg

Closer and Closer (Until We Collide) - @hallow777 

Im a slut for bed sharing tropes and this is so CUTE like lenas all freaking out because she keeps waking up cuddling kara and alex is oblivious to everything and its just soooo good

So, This Happened?

Drunk kara leaves drunk alex for a more suitable cuddle buddy aka lena lesbian luthor and lena sleeps in a supergirl t shirt bc of course

Sojourn 

Holy mother of fuck as if this fic didn’t absolutely ruin my fucking life??? Lena has to go to London for a month so she invites kara to come with her and lena has a gay awakening and realises shes in love with kara and its SO FUCKING GOOD

just one wrong move (baby, baby)

lena is having karas baby from this alien tech accidentally! And lena is so loved and its so cute like honestly and obviously they fall in love bc duh

hold me, my dear (and don't let go)

kara is a professional cuddler and lena hires her services bc shes a sad touch starved young lady and deserves to have some hugs in her life hello fluff my old friend discovering the moon 

alex and lena brotp and holy fuck does it deliver!!!! Alex is like a wingwoman we all need and kara and lena just need to communicate tbh but AMAZING

Focus on Something You Love, and Breathe

Lex is a little shit as always and wants to kill lena bc he thinks shes in love with supergirl (which she is) so kara says she can stay with her and obviously the angst is juicy and ruined my life. So. Good. Read. It.

Offstage 

College theatre au but like literally one of the best college aus ive ever read!!!! Lenas just a big lesbian and karas confused and they bang secretly and its glorious

it's a boy!

lena takes in a super powered alien baby that falls from the sky and gets a weird neighbor in the form of kara danvers and theres not many chapters yet so im not sure whats happening with kara yet but im super excited for this!!!

Break My Fall 

Kara dates monel but kisses lena as supergirl and its angsty and smutty and all round a good fucking time

carefulness can be damned 

Post 3x7, literally smut with some plot need I say more??

A Foolish Wit - @seabiscuits-us​

if you haven’t read seabiscuits fics are you even a supercorp fan?? Lena needs a husband and Clark Danvers is positively charming and also actually disguised as a man, I mean.. quality content

In My Veins

im soooo excited for this fic because the lena/alex brotp is written so well!!! Basically lena and alex become really good friends bc they both deal with their issues by drinking obvs and kara thinks they are secretly dating and gets upset and im SO READY FOR THIS ANGST

Would You Catch Me If I Fall For You ('Cause I'm falling) 

This is absolutely amazing and so captivating and I was honestly on edge the whole time kudos to the author!!!!! Kara goes back in time to warn lena about her dying on the venture and lena falls in love with her but she disappears and then when real kara and lena meet, kara doesn’t remember knowing lena and ughsalkdhsla its so good.

We Need a New Song

Oh my good golly gosh this fic ruined my life. Ballet au that has barely any ballet and an abundance of GAY and I had to take a moment after reading this to collect myself tbh

and stick it into someone else's heart 

Rhea infected lenas boobs in a cage dress with some weird alien stuff and her and kara have to bang or THEY’LL DIE pretty much but they love each other

The Laws of Fate 

soulmate au where everyone has a red string and lenas points to the sky and shes confused af but it’s a gay slow burn and the angst is good for ur soul

My Sun 

Lena gets into a car accident and kara thinks she died but lex is a maniac and wants lenas help and fdjsaklfs it’s a rollercoaster let me tell you

Mercy on Me 

lena falls under black mercy and in order to bring her back karas has to break her poor little gay heart bc lena thinks her and kara are in looooove AWWW heart shatters

Be your own Hero 

Collection of supercorp one shots!!!!!! Quality content lemme tell yaaaa

pick a blossom and hold it to your breast (honey, you know that’s my love bursting loud from inside) 

kara and lena rely on their late night phone calls with each other and get the feels and go on a date and they are just cute adorable dorks that are nervous  

your voice is pretty, baby (but i’d rather have your pretty skin instead) 

part 2 of pick a blossom ^^^ still adorably cute and a smut chapter I mean come on, treat yoself

Firsts 

kara and lenas first told in the cutest wayyyyyyyy

Whispers 

lena works with lillian to save supergirl and its oh so angsty and kara always believes her girl bc that’s canon

My personal Santa in heels 

Kara loves Christmas almost as much as she loves lena, almost

Timer 

Soulmate AU where everyone can have a device installed to tell them the time until they meet their soulmate, kara and lena love each other but kara cant have a timer installed obvs kryptonian skin and its so cute and soft and angsty

The Fatal Flaw 

Super cool and different fic and keen to see more chapters from this!! Kara doesn’t have her powers (yet) and she meets lena at a party at college and then clark tells her shes actually an alien ooooo im keen

Stay the night 

Lena inherits the national city womens basketball team and star player kara danvers is a muscly babe and they try not to fall in love BUT ITS JUST TOO HARD BECAUSE THEY ARE SOULMATES also I love jack in this such a wingman

1865 

MATTTTTTTTEEEE lena is the daughter of the governor and shes a little rebel. She falls in love with kara but her family has arranged her marriage to monel BUT LIKE THEY JUST LOVE EACH OTHER SO MUCH btw they are aliens but like in 1865 so cool. Pls update I love this so much

All Our Bodies in the Grass - @seabiscuits-us​

fuckkkkk this fic honestly, amish au and lena knows nothing but kara is down to help her out while also sharing lovely girl mags ;)

B.F.F.W.E.B

Kara and lena are friends with benefits but feels get involveddddd, lenas a useless lesbian

All the little lies 

Kara comes to earth and falls in love with lena but she has to go back to krypton and breaks lenas heart in the process, but she comes back and its only been like 7 months but its been like 3 years for lena!!! (I cant remember exact dates don’t judge me)

half melted m&m's 

lena needs a fake wife to stay in the country so kara is ever so helpful and agrees to be her wife, oh I do love a fake wife trope and this delivers!!!!

The Wrong Superhero 

Lena gets saved by batwoman and supergirl thinks she is super jealous because of superhero-related reasons but shes just in love with lena

We'll Take on the World 

College au, just useless fools in love that need to communicate and make out more

And they call me from beyond the stars 

Omg I LOVE THIS FIC SO MUCH ok so kara is a ghost (still from krypton and stuff) but no one can see her except lena so lena works on trying to get her back into the physical plane of existence so she can find alex but they FIND LOVE WITH ONE ANOTHER oh my god so angsty let me tell ya be warned

Wait for me to come home 

https://lostariels.tumblr.com/

idk where to even start on this fic honestly, im pretty sure most people have read this bc it’s a rite of passage but fuck it gets me everytime!!!! Army au and there is so much angst and I love it

An Unexpected Surprise 

supercorp baby au!!! Kara and lena bang and kara ends up preggers. Iconic  

Days in a Lifetime 

Kara and lena grow up together, massive slowburn but worth the wait!!!!! ACTUALLY GO AND READ ALL OF STENS BECAUSE I JUST REALISED HOW MANY I PUT IN HERE AND THEY ARE ALL FUCKING GREAT

Do you wanna (like you know I do) - @seabiscuits-us​

another seabiscuit, I couldn’t not put this in!!! CAPE COD and sharing of bunk beds!!! Pls update this my soul is withering away

Purple and Black are my Favorite Colours 

Kara gets in contact with kryptonite that makes her gp! And her and lena b a n g    

ONE SHOTS

danishes and other sweet treats 

oh my fuck this is so cute and its like a long one shot so I mean get on it because kara and lena go to a conference and share a hotel room need I say more  

Sun Kissed 

Kara takes lena on a roadtrip to the science museum for her birthday and my good golly gosh its so cute I could ascend to heaven

Only Human 

A one shot with two chapters in different POV but lenas jealous of monel and then supercorp bang and its all angsty and lena protects kara and tbh they need to communicate but happy endings and love all round

The Right Thing 

Lena freaks out because lex knows her and supergirl are dating and does the most dramatic thing (of course) by distancing herself from kara and did I say angst???/ also I cried multiple times in this

funny how the stars crossed right 

Kara and lena keep meeting at parties and have super dorky costumes and fall in love (literally love anything written by you btw, im going to go ahead and say I would have all yours bookmarked so everyone just check them ALL out)

Accidental Text

kara accidentally sends a love confession to lena and its short and cute!      

Unspoken Promises

supergirl and reign battle and lena finds out about kara being supergirl and supercorp are just obliviously in love

Green (Kara loves it and hates it in equal measure)

Im a sucker for a jealous trope and boy does this deliverrrr. Karas hella jealous of lena having other friends but realises its because shes super in love with her

Crush

Karas jealous because lena is flirting with supergirl but lena knows kara is supergirl so shes actually flirting with kara, nice!

My Donuts

Karas really jealous of sam and lena spending heaps of time together and then kara walks in on them having donuts and she fucking loses it because its their thing duh.

when we get there 

Lena invites kara to her beach house to chill and they obvs fall in love because they are cute af

Have a Break 

Lena is determined to work out how to use a vending machine to get kara her candy and kara and winn are watching it all unfold via cameras in catco, basically lena vs. the machine (himym singing voice)

Self doubt and comforting talks 

Drunk kara, comforting lena fluff and adorableness

Shopping carts and a beautiful girl 

Kara crashes into lenas car in a shopping cart and they go on a date and its SO CUTE

Distractions 

lenas oblivious to kara being supergirl even though kara slips up all the time!!! #nicehalloweencostumekara

Lip Bites & Long Gazes 

lenas a big gay flirt and kara gets frustrated and flustered and calls her out and they make out

Off the Record 

kara spots lena at a gay club and they dance and make out *lizzie mcguire voice this is what dreams are made of*

Not so secret 

the superfriends take a weekend away and kara and lena bang pretty much smut but its cute

come be my lover, be my getaway car 

How many amazing tropes can you fit into one fic (aka the fic that made me lose my fucking mind oh my god its so good, had it include)

A one time thing

Kara and lena end up banging in a motel and kara has an internal meltdown its great

This is Home 

Listen here, this is the most adorable thing my two eyes have ever witnessed. Lena doesn’t really have a home kara the sweet soul she assists her in finding a home with her (aka its kara, kara is her home get it)

Her Biggest Fan 

lena is apart of the supergirl fandom, aka shes me

Drunk Puppy

kara being a drunk gay mess wanting to hunt seashells with lena

Act Natural

kara and lena have hickies and try to hide them on a beach trip with the gang  

Like a date, date 

kara asks lena on a date and lena has a gay panic attack pretty much

Datable 

everyone thinks kara and lena are dating so they just start dating? Amazing

Stop following me, creep 

Please clarify 

Lena tries to tell kara she loves her and wants to date but karas an alien and just doesn’t get it, so cuteeeee

Fate is Written in the Ink (part 1) 

Fate is Written in the Ink (part 2)

Soulmate au!!!! Any ink on your skin appears on your soulmates and omg its so cute like kara draws all this art on herself and lena gets to see it too!!!!!

Muddle my heart (then add a dash of lime) 

Kara keeps going to the bar because punk/bartender Lena is a babe and she has a big lesbian crush on her

be hopeful, don't get broken (stay caught up in the moment) 

angsty dog au and I mean PUPPIEs and SUPERCORP need I say more?

The makings of a family 

Clark is the one who arrives after being stuck in the phantom zone and kara has to look after him and lena helps her out and wow new baby for supercorp

Let Your Guard Down 

Lena in a DEO uniform sparring with kara and its so angsty because lenas mad at kara for not telling her the supergirl secret and then they bang and did I already mention lena in a DEO uniform???  

Do you not like the service here?

Thirsty kara and waitress lena, lenas jealous of alex l o l

here is where time is on our side (part 1) 

our corner of the universe (part 2) 

long oneshot but fuck me its so good. Post daxamite invasion/mon-el coming back and both are healing from everything and go on a roadtrip just wherever the map takes them and oh my fuck its so cute and everything u want in a fic. Part two is the follow up

The Uncanny Valley 

cadmus replaces real lena with a robot version and kara didn’t know but then kara finds lena and its cute  

put these battered bones to rest 

soulmate au (you should know by now im a sucker for a good soulmate au), lena has a foreign name on her hip (its kara btw)

pain

another soulmate au hhehehe soulmates feel each others pain obvs both these babies have a lot of paiiiiiin in their lives

Love is Garbage 

Literally a garbage truck au, im not even going to say more

i know you're out there somewhere waiting (i know the stars can hear us praying) 

Whats this??? Another soulmate au!!! Classic lover one arm, enemy on the other, honestly lena deserves more and just waits for kara to love her and I love this fic, also they help sam!!  

Monster in the Mirror 

Supercorp reveal in the middle of the lena/edge poisoning children episode oooooooh so angsty but happy love ending

Safety 

Supercorp first ever sleepover!!! This is so cute stop

Please Clarify 

Lena tries to ask kara out in every single way possible and kara is an oblivious alien

love is a flower, you gotta let it grow 

Unrequited love makes u grow flower petals in your lungs but when ur love is returned it clears up, this was dope and I love ur work

where our hands hurt from healing - @seabiscuits-us​

its seabiscuit do I need to say more?????? I will tho. Alex and lena match on tinder and become besties and I live for alex/lena brotp so….

blessed be (the mystery of love) - @seabiscuits-us​ 

*dj Khaled voice* ANOTHER ONE, look I love every single fic this one does not disappoint and nothing like a good light hearted first date fisting hahahahahaha

The Luthor and the Super That Saved the World 

Fit it fic for the season three finale where there is more supercorp and less shit writing, LOVE STENS WORK

Kara Danvers and the Brown Belt of Lesbianism 

Karas gay brown belt that she always wears that makes her look like a big ol lesbian drives lena mental bc she so gay

SIN

ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING BY JAZZFORDSHIRE IM NOT FUCKING JOKING LET YOURSELF FALL INTO THIS SMUTFEST AND LIVE UR BEST FUCKING LIFE AND IF YOU HAVENT READ THE CAMPING AU UR NOT EVEN A SUPERCORP STAN

Pleasure 

like sweat dripping down our dirty laundry 

What Happens in the K Room Doesn't Stay in the K Room 

green-eyed monster

Kara shows Lena what makes her Super 

Supergirl, Kara, and a Luthor walk into a bar... 

Late Night Heroics 

Good Vibrations 

Two Lena Luthors and a blonde walk into a bedroom... 

Her perfect match 

Girls' Night 

Happy Halloween, Supergirl 

What She Wants 

make the rules then break them 

an animal within an animal 

THE WILDEST THING IVE EVER READ, STRAP THE FUCK IN (youll understand my pun when you’ve read it)

[yourdeepestfathoms]

everything great about Burlington Carrie

i’m slowly watching every version of Carrie the musical on YouTube and rating them, so we’re kicking this off with Burlington Carrie!

The musical starts with fire alarms, police sirens, fire roaring, and people screaming, which is such a cool way to open the performance! Then they end and are replaced with a heartbeat that gets faster and faster, and agh! I love it!

Right off the bat, gotta say this show gets a point for having an actual set. As much as I love BK and Seattle, the lack of background and set pieces really throws off the immersiveness.

This show also doesn’t have the “everyone wears red” thing going on like BK and Seattle did, which I enjoy because in the book Carrie wasn’t allowed to wear red. 

Also, the ages in this cast are a little strange. Mostly all the students look like college kids, but the Chris looks like she’s in her thirties and Carrie looks like she’s fifteen, maybe sixteen. A little odd, but hey. If Chris is supposed to be an adult bullying a child, then I could get on board with that!

For the opening choreo in In, Sue kinda gets blocked and thrown around and then circled, which is something I’ve never seen before! It’s really cool looking! I love the way she stops being scared and starts singing with the others in a blink of an eye.

THEY LET MISS GARDENER SAY “you can choke on it for all I care” HELL YEAH

Miss G throws a basketball at one of the girls 

Really enjoying how they actually play a sport during the gym par of In. I love the choreo where the dances look like they’re playing, don’t get me wrong, but something about seeing these girls throw around a basketball feels a lot more immersive.

Cynthia Reynolds, the girl who plays Carrie, really goes hard with the whole “shy girl” mannerisms and I love it. She is so cute.

Carrie’s loud “WHAT” when Sue says she got her period

Also holy shit, Cynthia is actually naked. Like, I’ve always been under the assumption that the actresses wear a strapless bra and at least shorts or underwear under the towel, but no she has nothing around her chest. 

Good for her for doing that! If that were me and there was a wardrobe malfunction and the towel fell off, I would just die. Like, cancel the rest of the show, I can’t recover from that.

Chris’s face when Sue said Miss G isn’t a lesbian

(She is)

Cynthia’s vibrato in the opening note of Carrie is AMAZING

I love angry Carrie is! Both the character and the song!

Carrie falls to her knees and whimpers because of cramps in the middle of Carrie (song)

Look at this cutie!!

I love how unflattering Carrie’s clothes are. Like, it’s a wrinkly white shirt, a tan jacket with one (1) button buttoned, and fucking khakis that look way too tight for her legs. I love it.

Every time I watch a new version of Carrie, I always get nervous that the girl who plays Carrie won’t be able to hold the notes, since Carrie is an extremely difficult role, but Cynthia does a really good job! She has such a pretty voice, too!

Billy feels up and slaps Carrie’s thigh during the scene with all the boys

Carrie already looks like she’s about to burst into tears at the start of And Eve Was Weak

Where as in Seattle Carrie was on her knees for most of the song and in BK she was shoved around, here Carrie gets grabbed by the hair a lot and cowers. She also gets her arm twisted.

Carrie’s screams as she’s being pulled into the closet are heartbreaking!!!!

Billy snorts crack at the start of the party scene

The guys pick up Chris in The World According The Chris which was pretty damn cool

During the beginning of the show, they had chairs for the period scene, but for the scene where they’re actually in a classroom they make the kids sit on the floor lol

Carrie hugging her backpack in class, poor baby is so anxious

When Mr. Stephens was talking about who had the best poem and says that person should stand and read, Sue starts to get up and then immediately turns around and goes 😬 when Tommy’s name is said

But she’s supportive we stan

“Yeah, Tommy boy! That’s my baby!!!” -Billy

After Dreamer In Disguise, Sue immediately takes the poem from Tommy and starts reading it lol

The way Carrie says “it was beautiful” was so cute!!!

Billy mocks what Carrie said about Tommy’s poem in the most gay voice omg

The way Carrie speaks in this show is really in character for her. It’s kinda choppy and stammered. She. Talks. Like. This. There’s pauses and she stutters a lot and it fits so well!

Carrie SCREAMS at Sue WOW

Miss Gardener absolutely just tears into the girls during gym. She’s just insulting them left and right!

Have I mentioned that I love this Miss Gardener? Because she’s REALLY GOOD. Major props to Mackenzie Smith!!

The way Frieda says “sorry, Carrie” is a lot funnier than it probably should have been

Also Helen’s “Sorry????”

This Carrie is so fragile. Chris says she eats shit and she bursts into tears.

Carrie’s expression in the opening part of Unsuspecting Hearts.... She’s so sad

Also the bags under her eyes are HUGE does she ever SLEEP

Miss Gardener tries to dance with Carrie!!!! It’s so cute!!!!!

The way Miss Gardener spreads her arms and then Carrie looks down at her own and slowly copies her is the cutest thing I’ve ever seen

They t-posin

Even closer

Carrie immediately hugs Miss Gardener, it’s so cute!!

Carrie’s big grin and the way she says “thank you” after she gets invited to prom has my heart melting

The anger from Cynthia and Jillian (Margaret) in I Remember How Those Boys Could Dance is so powerful!!!!!

Instead of closing the windows, Carrie pins Margaret up against the wall with her telekinesis, which is a really interesting take on that part of the song that I’ve never seen before!

We love Carrie eating pie while watching her mom cry against a wall

So during A Night We’ll Never Forget, they have it set up where Norma, Frieda, Helen, Stokes, Freddie, and George are in class and singing about their plans for prom and Miss Gardener is reacting to what they’re saying. Another interesting take on the prom and very entertaining!

Look at this baby! Look at her with her hair down!

Isn’t she just the cutest little thing?

After Margaret calls Carrie a fool in Stay Here Instead she instantly flinches away like she’s scared

“I NEVER SHOULD HAVE LET YOU LIVE!!!” “Then why did you, Mama?” WOAHHH NEW LINES

Carrie grabs Tommy’s hand with both of hers

The way Carrie says “no shit” oh my god

Miss Gardener in her dress has me Big Gay

“After prom a few of us are going--” “OKAY”

Frieda clapping when Helen says prom king and queen insults women

MR. STEPHENS DANCING DURING PROM CLIMAX

Miss Gardener’s reaction to that

ALSO CARRIE GETS DOWN IN PROM CLIMAX HELL YEAH!!!!!

Her reacting to herself dancing and then giggling over it

She dances with Frieda!!

After Carrie and Tommy get announced prom king and queen, Carrie goes around hugging everyone and it’s SO CUTE

She launches herself into Mr. Stephens and he stumbles back slightly

And now we get to what is probably the best The Destruction scene I have ever seen before

FIRST OF ALL, the blood mainly goes all the way down Cynthia’s back, so she has to smear it on her dress and face, but I LOVE how dark red it is! 

Next, during “our father who art in heaven” she breaks down into sobs and it’s so heartbreaking!!!

On the first “oh my god” she slams her hand back against the wall and smears the blood. The look of terror on her face as she looks at her hands is incredible!!!!

During the Note Of Death, Cynthia has to shift her pitch to hit the note, but she ends it with a scream, which sounds so good!!! I still think Keaton sang the song better, but Cynthia had so much emotion!!

When the massacre begins, everyone starts to scream and run around in a panic instead of Carrie controlling them all and make them wiggle around like in BK and Seattle. Instead, she kills them one by one as they frenzy around and try to escape. They all cry and scream at the ones who died to get up. There’s also a “fire” going and it’s just so good!!!!

As Carrie slowly walks out of the prom, Chris screams at her. And then everyone starts to cry and moan and call for help as the lights fade to black and holy shit it’s so chilling.

Cynthia cries out her lines over the prom instead of whispering them. It’s so heartbreaking to see and hear her sob and wail! And she continues to do so even as Jillian sings the reprise of Carrie.

My god the SCREAMS after Margaret dies! The EMOTION! I actually started crying because it’s just so sad!

Sue pulls Carrie into her arms even as she wails and shrieks and cries with her, which hurts even more!!!!

AND OH MY GOD THIS PART

When Sue sings alone during the end of Epilogue and all the kids part and there is Carrie, bloodied, staring blankly forward, and Sue just sings to her in tears

AND THEN CARRIE TURNS AND JUST LOOKS AT HER AND AAAGH 

GO WATCH THIS PRODUCTION THE ENDING WILL KILL YOU IF CYNTHIA!CARRIE’S ADORABLENESS DOESN’T

[kiwigallicorn]

My thoughts list watching Coraline (writing this as I watch)

People who squish bugs with their hands aren't afraid of death

Oh my god... The actresses are lesbians...

The garden is so pretty wtf!!!

I know the other parents are supposed to be evil but hell, if they ain't charming

Oh my god!!! Are the actresses going to perform? I hope it's gay

Omg!!! She's a mermaid!!

Why are they fighting for attention?? I see y'all can't compliment two bad bitches without comparing them to each other

Button Wyby deserves more!! Poor bby... He's so precious

Oh, they're young now!

Wait, why is Wyby sad?? Don't be sad bb!!!

Here comes the button eyes part

Oh, here comes the creepy half of the movie

Oh my god!! The piano hands shushed him!!!

Oh wow, the illusion's fading

Oh my gawd!!! Oh my gawd!!!!

Oooooooooooooooooh, she's shape-shifting

Oh, this is the part with the kids

Wymy?! Oh my god, you poor sweet baby!!!!

Wymy!!! :0

Tbh I'd hate to admit it but I think I like button Wymy better

Also, why have they abandoned the house?

It's the lesbian lady again :D

Why do the lesbian ladies keep fighting? :(

Aww you poor sweet baby!!! Don't cry dear!!!!! :(

This is less of a horror movie and more of a tragedy tbh rn

...perhaps I've spoken too soon...

Oh my god they're dolls

Oooooh she getting ready to kick some ASS

Don't trust her!!! It's a trap!!

Told you...

Damn, the dad's old as hell now

Is...is the other mom using the other dad?

Put her hand down the sink and turn on the garbage disposal!! Don't just sit there!!

Froggie!!!

I was right!!! It's all the mother's control!!

Why are you staring at the moon? Did you set a time limit?

Bats!!!

Dog bats, huh?

They ARE lesbians!!

WYMY!!!!! NOOOOO!!!!

Ah, привет русаниц

Should have thrown the cotton candy instead....

It's the bug room again...

She's broken like porcelain

Keep coughing and die bitch

This bitch done threw a cat!!!!

And I'm so sorry 🎶

Spider mom, spider mom, go to hell you fucking bitch 🎶

:•

Oooooh, pretty water fountain

Well, at least they're much more lively

Koshka!!!

A beautiful new pet!!!

What the hell was that about?

Oh boy, a claw!

Cherry blossoms!!!!!! :0

Break the key dumbass

Omg!!! Wymy!!

Is he okay?

Well, I guess that works too

Oh my god, she's one of the angels...

*tilts head to the side*

The lesbians are gardening... :0

We love elderly black women

What a nice movie!! I've heard the book is so much more terrify-

*dancing to the credits music*

[jumpsitehq]

300+ Funny Status for Whatsapp and Facebook in English

There are millions of people who can use WhatsApp Messenger and they also change status day by day so that why I am Publishing a Best Funniest Status in our sites. You can check the collection of Funny Whatsapp Status below. I hope you will like the funny statuses for WhatsApp. Earlier you have seen some of the Best and Latest Whatsapp Status, Love Whatsapp Status, Sad and Cool Whatsapp Status but This time we come up with All-time Favorite FUNNY WHATSAPP STATUS.

Funny Status for Whatsapp and Facebook

“Hey there WhatsApp is using me.” “I am not lazy, but I am on my energy saving mode.” “I can’t read lips unless they’re touching mine.” “80% of boys have girlfriends. Rest 20% are having a brain.” “Last seen 1985!” “When you are on a 1% battery anyone who sends a message Or calling, Becomes the enemy Automatically.” “I love my job only when I’m on vacation.” “Life is too short smile while you still have teeth……” “God is really creative, I mean.. just look at me every time.”

Best Funny Status

“Common sense is not so common.” “Never laugh at your wife’s choices… LOL..you’re one of them…” “All my life I thought air is free until I bought a bag of chips.” “Never Steal because of Government HATE COMPETITION.” ” I pretend to work and They pretend to pay me.” “If you can’t convince them then Confuse them.” “I always learn from the mistakes of others who take my advice. That’s called EVIL MIND.” “I Am Gonna Make my Status High, better you to Focus on your Status only.” “I hate people who steal my ideas before I think of them.”

Funny Status Quotes

“AwesoME ends with ME and UGLY Start with YOU.” “People say everything happens for a reason. So when I Beat your ASS, remember I have a reason.” “People said to follow your dreams so I went back to bed.” “When Phone on silent mode – 10 Missed calls…When Turns volume to loud- Nobody calls all day.” “Busy at this moment…free forever.” “The only time success comes before work is in dictionary.” “If time does not wait for you, don’t worry. Just remove the battery from the clock and enjoy life.” “DOESN’T EXPECTING THE UNEXPECTED MAKE THE UNEXPECTED EXPECTED ?” “Behind every great man, there is a surprised woman.” “Doing nothing is very hard thing to do…you never know when to finish.”

Best Funny Quotes

“You have the perfect face to become Radio Jockey.” “Totally available!!!! Please disturb me!!!!” “Hi there! I am using my brain.” “One day your princess will come. Mine just took a wrong turn, got lost and is too stubborn to ask for directions.” “I have enough money to last me the rest of my life unless I buy something.” “Looks like I over-estimated the number of your brain cells.” “Lie is just a great story ruined by truth.” “If Monday had a face, I would punch it.” “My style is unique don’t even think to copy it!” “Teachers call it cheating, students call it teamwork.” “I always dream of being a millionaire like my friend!… He’s dreaming too.” “My bed is always extra comfortable when I need to get out of it in the morning.” “Don’t Hit Kids, They Become Smart Nowadays they Carry GUNS.” “A man is as young as the woman he feels.”

Top Fun Status

“I’m just having an allergic reaction to the universe.” “When I actually die some people are going to get really haunted after me.” “The winner of the rat race is still a rat.” “If money grew on trees, then girls would be dating monkeys….” “Please don’t interrupt me while I’m ignoring you.” “At least Some Mosquito’s are attracted to me.” “I am sure I have a defective iPhone, I keep pressing the home button and I’m still at work.” “I WANT TO KILL THE HOTTEST PERSON ALIVE… BUT SUICIDE IS A BIG CRIME!” “I had to take sick day.I’m sick of those peoples.” “Today’s Relationships is like You can touch each other but not each other’s phones.”

Best Funny Status for Facebook

“DO YOU EVER JUST LIE ON KNEES AND THANK GOD THAT YOU KNOW ME AND MY INTELLIGENCE…??” “TRUTH: Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up…” “It’s not that I hate anyone; it’s just that I do not like people.” “Life is Short so Chat Fast..” “My family says I talk in my sleep but nobody at work has ever mentioned it. What a TRAGEDY.” “Save Paper, Don’t do Homework.” “A black cat passing by the crossroad can stop hundreds of people what a RED LIGHT on traffic signal has failed to do for a long time.” “I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I am blaming you.” “Your status won’t ever match my status neither in WhatsApp nor in reality.” “My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.” “Save Water, Drink Whisky.”

Funniest Whatsapp Status

“Sometimes all you need is love. Lol, just kidding, you need money.” “WARNING!! I know karate…..and some other words too.!” “Honest people can be put into two categories….little kids and drunk persons.” “Today morning when I was driving my Ferrari, the alarm woke me up.” “When a bird hits your window have you ever wondered if God is playing angry birds with you ?” “I just need a good Wifi & Wife.” “I only need three things in life: Food, Wifi, Sleep.” “There’s only one problem with your face, I can see it.” “I’ve had a horribly busy day converting oxygen into carbon dioxide.” “AFTER GETTING DRUNK, BACHELOR OF TECHNOLOGY TURNS INTO MASTER OF PHILOSOPHY.” “Can’t talk, telepathy only!” “Read books instead of reading my status!” “People that Change Love status after 30 Sec… GF is the Reason…” “I am Cool but Summer Days make me hot.” “I AM NOT A VEGETARIAN BECAUSE I LOVE ANIMALS; I AM A VEGETARIAN BECAUSE I HATE PLANTS.”

Laughing Status

“GOOGLE must be a woman because it knows everything.” “I love you, and it’s killing me.” “A fine is a tax for doing wrong & A tax is a fine for doing well.” “I’m not sarcastic, I am just intelligent beyond your understanding.” “In bed, it’s 7AM you close your eyes for 5 minutes, it’s 8:00. At school it’s 12:30, close your eyes for 5 minutes, it’s 12:32.” “Some people are beautifully wrapped boxes of shit.” “Whatsapp users never die, they just go offline.” “The only thing I gained so far in THIS YEAR is weight.” “High Power Come ,with High voltage Current!” “Hello madam, do you want new Credit Card ? Girl: No thanks, I have a Boyfriend.” “I want some one to give me a Loan and then leave me Alone.” “Wife means Worries in life Forever.” “Wrestling is obviously fake. Why would two people fight over a belt when neither of them is wearing pants ???” “A good wife always forgives her husband when she’s wrong.” “People say they can’t live without Love. I think oxygen is more important.” “I may be fat, but you’re ugly – I can lose weight.” “Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.” “Girls are like roads, more the curves, more the dangerous they are.” “Yes, I agree. Moms can find everything. Except for the ringing phone in their bags.” “Love marriage is like dancing in front of snake and asking him to bite.” “‘m Jealous Of My Parents… I’ll Never Have A Kid As Cool As Theirs!” “Mah Attitude……Mah ishtyle…” “People say nothing’s impossible, but I do nothing every day.” “Women should not have children after 30. Really … 30 children are enough.”

Hilarious Status

“Please be patient even a toilet can handle only one ass hole at a time.” “If people are talking behind your back, then just fart.” “Don’t steal because it’s the government’s job.” “Don’t kiss behind the garden, Love is blind but the neighbors are not.” “I am currently experiencing life at the rate of 20 WTF’s every hour.” “Who care’s ?????………..I’m awesome. Fuck the Rest.” “Laugh at your problems, everybody else does the same.” “I’m not failed, But my success just lost.!” “This pregnancy test confirmed my worst fear….I’m just fat.” “I hate men but I’m not lesbians”

Hilarious Whatsapp Status

“Best Restaurant Advertisement: We serve food as HOT as your neighbor’s wife, And beer as COLD as your own.” “When it’s you against me, you either win or you die.” “My heart is stolen..can I check your bra.” “Marriage is the cause of divorce.” “I DID NOT ATTEND HIS FUNERAL, BUT I SENT A NICE LETTER SAYING I APPROVED OF IT.” “SI unit of ignorance = “seen”…” “I wake up when I cant hold my pee in any longer.” “You say I dream too big I say you think too small.” “Running away does not help you with your problems unless you are fat.” “Marriage is just a fancy word for adopting an overgrown male child who can not be handled by his parents anymore.” “ALARM CLOCK: Because mornings must start with a heart attack.” “Mosquitoes are like family. Annoying but they carry your blood.” “3 Mistake done by everyone ..Whatsapp, Facebook & GF.”

OMG Funny Status

“Etc Meaning – End of Thinking Capacity.” “We are WTF generation……. WhatsApp, Twitter, and Facebook.” “Never make eye contact while eating a banana.” “Faces YOU Make ON The Toilet lol (o_o) (>_<) (0_0) (^_^).” “Virginity is not dignity, It is just lack of opportunity.” Do share it with your Fiends and Spread Happiness and Laugh a Lot because LIFE IS SHORT.