#black mambas are my literal favorite animal but if someone ever gave me the opportunity to see one up close without it being in captivity

[firelord-frowny]

now, about that earwig and why i am DEVASTATED to know it’s in the same taxonomic superorder as cockroaches: 

when i was a wee tiny in kindergarten (i think), i used to eat breakfast every morning at the table before school. always waffles with whipped cream and syrup and a cup of water. 

so i take a sip of water. take a bite of waffle. 

i feel something Weird in my mouth D: 

i’m thinking it’s just a burnt piece of waffle, bc what else could it be??

So I kinda just lick the palm of my hand to get it off my tongue and onto my hand.

AND IT’S A FUCKING EARWIG 

:( :( :( 

SO I SCREEEEEEAAAAMED! Sobed! Wailed!

my mommy rushes over all, ‘what happened??’ 

i show her the earwig! i scream! “IT!! WAS IN!! MY MOOOUUUTH!!!” 

and she’s all D:

and then she took me into the bathroom to fuckin wash my mouth out with soap lmfao idk why it didn’t occur to her to just use toothpaste.

but yeah that’s why im horrified by their close relation to cockroaches :(