#blablababbling
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god i love when a fanfic shoves a hand up my ass grabs my internal organs and yanks them out of my body
#i was feeling Terrible for reasons that only me and my autism would be able to know and neither would be able to articulate#so i decided to read something to distract myself#and. it felt like someone spent years watching me???? and published their conclusions on ao3#diversity win: your insanities were represented in a trigun nai character study fic Somehow#blablababbling
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i wish i wasn't in a constant state of Charlie Kelly Crashing A Car Because He "Forgot How To Drive" when it comes to art (and writing lol) bc i have a very clear vision of a specific deadpool fanart i wanna see in the world but my hands don't work for artistic purposes anymores
#its quite disheartening actually#like. i think i went too long without any sort of artistic#god i forgot the word i havent slept yet and its 7 am#scape? OUTLET#and spent a shit ton of time writing solely school essays#not even the interesting kind like when i was still in college#the boring type. for trying to get into uni and stuff#and now my brain is old moldy soup#blablababbling
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sewing with a cat nearby is actually an extreme sport. so if u do this regularly congratulations
#istg my cat keeps trying to eat the pins and the thread#and the needle sometimes#and my hand#blablababbling
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sometimes u eat something and the taste is so marvelous it makes ur heart sing and do a lil flip but unfortunately your brain and your mouth hate you and they hate the mouthfeel even more. why does this tasty food make me throw up huh. why did it bettay me like this
#i spent a looong time making a new desert that ive been meaning to try for weeks#and it tastes great theres coconut in it!!! which i love!!!#but something abt the way it sits in my mouth.... fire her#not the TextureTM but just. how it feels in my mouth.#and theres so many foods that i enjoy the taste but unfortunately i can only eat them if im mentally prepared to feel nauseous#sensory issues#obligatory autism tag?#blablababbling
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sometimes my cat's late night zoomies are legitimately a threat to my wellbeing. he has fully jumped on my head (my EYES actually) just so he could get to the window he's woken me up bc he jumped on my chest the amount of times ive been scratched in my sleep... he stares menacingly at me in the dead of night and thats terrible for my Mental health bc it feels like ive invited a vampire over to my house and now hes ready to end me. so i close the door to my bedroom when he's in his insane hours. sadly, he meows and it's cute and makes me feel like I'M the monster not this crazy creature who's taken over my home its really an ethical conundrum
#blablababbling#to leave him out of my bedroom or to hand myself over to the throes of danger and chaos#that is the question
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the start of my first uni semester hasn't even been announced yet so i've been stuck in Waiting ModeTM since januay and will continue to be stuck in this hellish fucking state until i finally move to where uni is and the semester starts. i HATE it here
#blablababbling#its very annoying!!!#someone set me free from this torture!!!#i know i can Do Stuff to pass the time but. can i????? can i????
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in case you might be wondering: i'm still not normal about anything ever
#sorry to all of Three of you who follow me#since im not really active here i tend to use this as my dumpster#so. yeah.#had to hold back tears today bc liking people is embarrassing and i just felt even more humuliated after that so.#blablababbling
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it shouldnt suck this much i hate it here . feelsbadman
#blablababbling#like. its gonna be okay but i wish they said yes :p#id be ok w a situationship#but It Will Pass
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god. i'm reading eroticism by bataille and i want to swallow this book whole. i'm gonna just. fucking go feral
#i've been in a really lovesick mood lately so when he talks about passion i wanna walk into the ocean#blablababbling
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feeling so insane liking people is so embarrassing
#blablababbling#still cant decide if i Should tell them or not#my modus operandis is telling them but. idk#operandi no s*
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yiiippeeeee finally actually followed everyone i followed on my old blog
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please be in love with me please be in love with me please be in love with me
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:) im not doing well tbh and this is my socmed acc with the least amount of followers so! i feel like shit actually! and i tried to reach out! and it didn't work!
#tbh!!! the Thing That Made It Not Work Out probably didnt happen out of malice or carelessness so i will try to like. talk it out#but. but#it does suck having to do all these things just to allow myself to be vulnerable#considering that that's already very difficult#blablababbling#rant
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got very annoyed with the state my old blog was in so i created a new one hai :3
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