#bla bla bla blah blah ah bla blah blah bla

[churrorat-art]

Its 1am and I'm eating stale cheese bagel procrastinating doing a lame assignment.

Any ways this has been my favorite song recently

It's just so AUGH. I cant explain, listen to it noww. I just randomly stumbled onto it too, like I think it's a sign or some shit.

But uhh music is making me feel an emotion other than someone save me from this crushing depression !!! Atleast I thinkso.

[juiceedapplee]

Con-Artists and You: How to Get Scammed

Sampo x gn!reader

A new item has been added to the menu!

—Sampo has scammed and lied way too often to not be considered a con-artist. Being a con-artist has its ups and downs of course, you get money and meet people but you also risk getting your ass kicked. Thank god you’re around though, what would our dear old Sampo do without you?

Here you stand, wondering what went wrong and why you no longer have any credits or shields in your wallet.

Did you get robbed? Mugged? No, the only time you went out before right now was to get your mail and take a short walk around and you were pretty sure no one ran off with your purse.

Okay, then did you lose it? Of course not, losing money isn’t that easy when you leave your wallet in the same place everyday and keep track of your finances. So then you must have been scammed or bought something no?

Dammit. You recall meeting Sampo earlier, thinking you’d take a stroll since the weather was nice. Well how did he scam you? Last time I checked you were pretty good at detecting scams. Hey! It isn’t your fault that whenever Sampo shows up you can’t help but lose yourself in his eyes. It’s his for having those genes. And the way he laughs and talks with his hands, trying to get you to help him with something. “You’ll help me right?” Sampo asks you, a sort of desperation in his voice. And you, who have not really paying attention just nod and go “Mhm! I’d love to” “Wonderful! I’ll text you when I need ya! Welp, I gotta be off I have veery important business to attend to.” Sampo says as he waves good bye and walks off.

But if that’s not how you lost your money then how? Well, after Sampo sent you a text, you went out to meet him. And there he was, holding a few bags standing around, waiting for you to show up. “Ah! There you are, I was wondering if you could a-bla-blah-blah” Yep. You decided to tune him out in favor of staring at his lips move, occasionally nodding your head and saying “Yeah.” “Mhm.” “Totally.”

“Then I’ll be sure to treat you dinner to repay you, my dear friend.” Oh, is it a date? No. “Wow, I can’t believe we’re going on a date.” Is what you think in your head, muting that part of yourself that says that no, it isn’t a date and he literally just called you friend. “Alright then if you could just hand me the money than that would be great!”

What? Money? When did he? Oh. It must of been when you were tuning him out. Oopsies! What can you do other than give it to him now, plus, he’s gonna take you out to dinner! You pull out your wallet and hand it to him, telling him to “Just take what you need! I get paid soon anyway.” That’s a lie. “Wow, you really are so nice. Yknow, I like to think im just a hard working guy, someone who just wants to live his life but keeps getting roped into other people’s problems. Oh woe is me.” He says as he takes every bit of cash out your wallet. “Well I’ll see you around friend! I’ll text ya when I can take you out for dinner!”

Ah. So that’s how that happened. 😐

Well, in your defense, I guess you were so unfocused that you couldn’t have been able to know what would’ve happened, if only he wasn’t so pretty, and if only you weren’t so in love with him.

So here you are, standing outside, no money in your wallet and a craving for stone grilled olm. Well, at least Sampo will take you out to dinner, eventually.

This drink contains

A small cash grab: $5.00

A bomb shaped ice cube: ¢.25

A dash of delusion: $1.50

Total: $6.75

I decided to spontaneously start a new fic and it was gonna be “how to not get scammed” with reader kicking his ass but I decided against it, I also didn’t go in that direction anyway. But I thought why not make a fic about the man who inspired my theme (and my bbg)

[epic-kotlc-crossover]

Polyphemus

Hey guys! The first chapter of the Cyclops saga is here!!!

Tags: @myfairkatiecat @ham-cheese-toastie @bookwormgirl123 @thesfromhms @justalunaticfangirl (let us know if you want to be tagged in the future!)

After Athena faded away, Fitz’s vision sharpened back to reality. They were approaching an island, and even from this far away, the whole fleet could hear the Bla-ah-ah-ah! Blah-ah-ah-ah! of the sheep. There must be hundreds, just grazing peacefully, unaware of the men docking below them. 

There was a bit of a climb to reach the fields, but it was so, so worth it. Fitz transmitted orders to the small crew he had taken up with him, not wanting to disturb the tranquil silence. They obeyed, silently killing enough sheep to feed the crew for at least a month.

Keefe whispered, “I have to hand it to you and Dex. This is quite the treat.”

Fitz leaned closer, “I don’t trust this. Why would the lotus-eaters pass up on all of this food?”

Suddenly the ground started to shake beneath the sailors’ feet. Thump! Thump! Thump! 

Were those…footsteps? 

“Who are you?” An impossibly deep rumbling voice asked. Dread crept into Fitz’s mind, but he pushed it aside. He had to show this monster that he wasn’t afraid of it. 

Stay calm! Fitz transmitted his group. They nodded, hands ready to grab their weapons. 

“Hey there!” Fitz shouted. “We come in peace. We’re just travelers looking for food.” The monster wasn’t in sight yet, so Fitz really hoped it wasn’t getting mad.

“You killed my sheep.” It was a statement, not a question. “These were my favorite sheep. What gives you the right to deal me this pain?

“Don’t you know that the pain you cause others will be reflected upon yourself? Your life is in MY hands now.”

The monster slowly lumbered into sight. It was a Cyclops. But not just any Cyclops….

This was Polyphemus, the biggest of the beasts to walk the earth. His giant– singular– eye glared down at the mortals. Fitz could imagine the sound of his army being crunched in his massive jaw. His teeth were pointed to a sharp edge, and–was that dried blood? He hoped not. 

“When I’m through with you, you’ll regret ever setting foot on my island. You came to my home to steal, and now you’ll become my meal. A trade, you see? I’ll take from you like you took from me.”

“There’s been a misunderstanding! We never came here to steal! Now that we know these sheep were yours, perhaps you and I can make a deal? I’ll give you our finest treasure, as long as you let us leave here alive!” He called. Polyphemus loomed over him, considering.

“What is this treasure?” He boomed. 

“The world’s best-tasting wine!” Fitz answered. Keefe glanced over, confusion in his ice-blue gaze. 

Fitz took a moment to say, Trust me. I know what I’m doing, before turning back to the Cyclops. 

“Wine?” the beast said suspiciously.

Fitz pulled the bottle from his satchel, handing it to the monster. The bottle was barely as big as Polyphemus’s finger, but he still looked delighted.

“Have a drink!” Fitz said, “Take one sip and you’ll understand how lucky you are to have this. It’s wine so fresh, you’ll never want to eat human flesh again!”

Polyphemus downed the bottle in one sip, hurling the glass into the sea when he was finished. 

“Now we’ll be on our way with no blood spilled here today,” Fitz said. Keefe looked like he couldn’t believe that had actually worked, and Fitz had a similar feeling.

“Wait! Before you go I must ask you: What is your name?”

Fitz panicked. He couldn’t tell the beast the truth. So he raised his head and calmly said, “My name is Nobody.”

“Nobody,” Polyphemus repeated slowly. “I must pay you back for this gift.”

“I’m so glad we see eye to eye,” Fitz said with a smile. 

“Yes, you shall be the final man to DIE.”

“What?” Fitz asked, shock quieting his voice. A moment later, Polyphemus stepped closer to the crew. Fitz got a sinking feeling in his gut. Keefe glanced at his captain, clearly trying to ask “What are we going to do?” without words.

Fitz only had one answer. As loud as he could, he screamed, “WATCH OUT!”

[loserley]

Forever and always

pair: yoru x gn! reader

warnings: none

note: i LUV this man so MUCH U GUYS DONT UNDERSTANDDD :< he's gonna be a bit ooc sooooooo.... short fic btw heavy fluff and ofc mean yoru cuz yes !!!! also lf moots :]]] smol swiftie ref ^_^

looking back at it, you wouldn't expect the riftwalker to be cuddling with you right now. you were a new agent recruited by brimstone, when you were in the verge of death, brimstone found you almost lifeless. when you woke up, you were in a room that looked like some hospital. "i have an offer for you." then you became one of the protocol's agents.

yoru didn't really care about you at first, he was stingy, mean, and selfish. you were gonna get some fresh air in the rooftop of the headquarters, but then, you saw an unfamiliar figure sitting in rooftop's railings. yoru seemed to sense your presence, "what are you doing here?" yoru looked at you, his gaze was piercing cold, "i, uhm, came here to get some fresh air, sir..?" you didn't know who he was, he wasn't in your welcome party thing earlier. "look, just go." his voice sounded stern, "okay." you turn around and walk back inside.

you passed by phoenix in the hallway, "hey y/n!" waving to you, "oh hi, phoenix where are you going?" you ask, "oh to the rooftop." "i'm not sure you would wanna go there, there's some rude asshole in'ere." you slightly roll your eyes, "oh really?, oh uh by the way, have you seen yoru?" "who's yoru?" you tilt your head questioning who yoru is. "uh some dude with a blue streak in his hair, wears blue, blah bla bla." oh. it was the rude person in the rooftop. "ah, so that's his name. he's in the rooftop."

back to the present, here's the riftwalker, in the same bed as you, asking for cuddles. "mmh, i want your kisses." tsk, so needy. "there you go, you big baby" you give him a peck in the forehead and kiss him in the cheeks, "i'm yours. you're mine." yoru said, "forever and always."

© xinvlo, 2023. Do not copy, translate, post my work on other social platforms.

[brineffxiv]

Ah, so this is Vauthry. I will not lie, I am disappointed. How predictable that the first major fat character we meet is a childish and cruel lord of indolence.

Don't mistake me, I think Vauthry's got a good design, what I take issue with is that apart from him (and Dulia-Chai, who is also a resident in Vauthry's city of laziness) every single other character in this game is fit and gorgeous. I just feel. Tired. Very tired. Makes me not even want to analyze the rest of the cutscene: blah blah pointless cruelty, blah blah gotta feed the pet sin eaters living flesh, blah bla---

Yo, Vauthry, is that a face on your tit??

Is he keeping a sin eater in his shirt? Or? What?

I like that Alphinaud had to physically hold me back from attacking the guy. Let me at 'im Alphi, you know I could win this.

Alas, we gotta get Kai-Shirr to safety. And then Vauthry flails about trying to stand, falls on his face and throws a temper tantrum like a baby, and I roll my eyes again.

But then, we pan out, and juuuuust before we fade to black...

Solus zos Galvus! Hell yes. Give me more Solus. Love that guy. There's a villain I can sink my teeth into.

[alicetigerdrawing]

(Dans une cabane)

Arlong: Ah si seulement tu étais là, on a détruit avec les enfants une bonne trentaine de pastèques! Bla bla bla, bla bla bla...

Alice: Zzzzz...

(In a cabin)

Arlong: Ah if only you were there, we destroyed with the children a good thirty watermelons! Blah blah blah, blah blah blah... Alice: Zzzzz...

(Dessin fait à partir d'un modèle / Drawing made from a model)

[oneirophasia]

In their odes to joy and Jesus

Do you think they once foresaw their pieces

In our wireless devices all across the planet, blah blah, blah blah, bla-a-a-a-a-a-ah~? 🎶

- Cheryl Wheeler

Vivaldi on his deathbed in 1741: please, put it into my will that the first movement of my Spring concerto can only be used to indicate fancy settings in cartoons or as hold music for the absolute worst call centres.

Vivaldi's lawyer: Antonio what the FUCK does this mean

[wito-chan-bla-bla]

Stop bothering my girlfriend!

If Noelle refuses to take a break herself, you'll have to force her.

~

I hope I understood the request correctly and blah-blah-blah (bla-bla-bla in my language). Good luck.

(And also don't beat me for some strange actions, because I'm like a newborn deer on the Internet. Maybe I've been sitting here long enough, but I still don't understand anything). (Why did I just say that? Ah, well...)

~

What is eternal? Running water? The change of day and night? Death coming sooner or later? Well, the answer is wrong anyway.

There is only one thing forever. And this is Noelle, who loves work so much that one day they even wanted to give her a sign "the best workaholic". (This man was persuaded in time not to do anything stupid and to present something else to the maid).

Noelle rarely had days when she could relax. (Rarely, that is, never). And then you appeared, her loving lover.

It wasn't really difficult to find a maid. Her armor made loud noises as she ran to help the next person in need. And if the streets of the city were quiet, you could go to Lisa or Jean, who will always tell you exactly where you can find a Geo user.

Your head poked into the library, where Noelle was sorting out a new batch of books. Slowly and quietly walking forward, you stretched your arms up stronger and stronger, until eventually you put your palms on the girl's eyes, making a quiet "boo!". The maid jumped up, startled, but immediately relaxed as soon as she realized that it was just you.

–(Y-Y/N)! – she whispered softly, turning to you and blushing. Her hands moved your palms away from her face a little, but still kept them close. – When will you get tired of scaring me like that?

–When you go on a date with me! By the way, when are you free? How about today and now?

–Oh, I'm sorry, but I have to sort out the books for Lisa, – she points to the boxes that contain heavy volumes.

–Can I help? – you immediately ask, and the girl, of course, shakes her head negatively.

–Thank you for the offer, but I will never be able to become a knight if I rely on the help of others. Besides, don't you have your own job? I wouldn't want your progress to suffer because of me.

You sigh, looking at Noelle, who gently strokes the skin of your palms until she takes out a cream from a small hip bag. The maid's fingers begin to rub the white substance into your hands, massaging the skin, and at the end you get a small kiss on the knuckles.

–That's it, your skin should be fine now. And you smell like roses, – she happily chuckles and reaches out to you to leave a little kiss on your cheek. You rush forward in response, but at that moment Lisa's footsteps are heard, and the maid, who is very red in the face, hurries back to her work.

You sigh, realizing that you will not be able to influence your beloved in any way.

The librarian, who looks out from around the corner, sniffs the air and thoughtfully notices that she smells of fresh roses. Noelle blushes and only focuses her attention more on work. You sigh again, greet Lisa a second time and hurry away, stomping your heels in displeasure.

Something has to be done about it. Noelle is hardworking, but her desire to help others is too exhausting for her. Sometimes she can't even walk home and sleeps at work!

You exit the building and the knights passing by greet you. You nod to them, quickly and jokingly salute and move on.

Something has to be done, otherwise Noelle will die from overexertion. And we didn't even go on a date! I want to hold her in my arms alive and healthy, and not disconnected from exhaustion! You stop, greeting a few more people. Your family has lived here for generations, providing their services. Therefore, you are well-known to the residents of the city.

Suddenly an idea came to your mind when some old lady started telling you about some dispute that happened a few days ago. You listened attentively about the conflict between the head of the guard and some visitor who assured the man that he could drink five bottles of wine and not get drunk.

You were especially quiet at the end of the story. Thanking the old lady for the information and being glad out loud that you don't drink, you went away with your hands in your pockets.

The plan was born.

You, like your family, had many connections. It will not be difficult to find out information about where Noelle will go, what she will do, who she will help. And as soon as you find out the necessary information, you will help your beloved maid to finish all the business early so that she can finally come home and not fall into your arms limply!

The next day, you can easily find out from some merchant where Noelle went. Having bought a small hairpin in the form of a sun from him, you hurry to the maid.

As expected, she was dragging some boxes. And you even knew who to take the goods to. Therefore, no problems should arise.

You greet Noelle and ask if she needs help. The girl stops, smiles shyly at you and shakes her head. She wants to go further, but you stop her by picking up her bangs with a newly purchased hairpin. The maid blushes, feeling your breath next to her face. She opens her mouth to say something, but then you abruptly take all the boxes out of her hands and run away.

–(Y-Y/N), darling, where are you going?! I have to deliver these boxes to the address! ..

–I know where they need to be taken! Don't worry, I'll just do your job!

Noelle, almost with tears in her eyes, runs after you, stretching out her hand, as if she can reach out and stop you. Despite her physical strength and stamina, the girl is slower than you, since her maid clothes are quite heavy.

You easily navigate the city, shortening the way, and eventually resort to the destination earlier, leaving the boxes and rushing after the next ones. Noelle got a little lost along the way, so when she resorts to her destination, all her work is already done. Maybe the maid is a little out of breath, but since she was not carrying anything in her hands, she feels more cheerful.

The maid purses her lips in displeasure, turns her head in search of you. At this moment, the customer leaves the house and thanks Noelle, immediately noticing the clip in her hair. The man says that the decoration looks pretty cute. "Your lover gave it to you, didn't they?" The maid immediately stops being angry, blushing and trying to hide in her own palms.

Of course, you didn't stop at one time. You constantly appeared here and there, fulfilling Noelle's orders. You almost didn't get into her work as a maid directly (because you didn't know how to clean), but with a big smile you helped to move, paint, find something. You didn't have much free time every day, but you still tried to help Noelle cope with her work, simultaneously asking Jean to send the maid to some long tasks so that the girl could not find herself more tasks.

But one day everything was going to change.

You hear a knock on the door, raising your eyebrows in surprise. Noelle has not been coming to your house for some time, because she is very likely offended. Not understanding who it might be, you go to the door and open it.

Noelle is standing in front of you, arms crossed over her chest and looking unhappy. The girl does not let you greet her by opening her mouth and saying sharply:

–(Y/N), I love you, but I'm sick of it! Why are you doing my assignments?! Don't you have anything to do in between work?! I have to run back and forth all day so that you don't find me and grab my boxes!..

Noelle stops abruptly, covering her mouth with her palms. She turns pale. You look at her questioningly, a little surprised that a nice girl yelled at you for the first time.

–Oh, (Y-Y/N), honey, I'm sorry! – the maid immediately rushes to hug you with tears in her eyes. – I didn't mean to yell at you! I'm sorry, I'm sorry! I love you! I shouldn't have yelled at you!

You silently stroke her back, imperceptibly bringing her into the house. After closing the door, you hug her for a while until you invite her to sit down to discuss everything.

–So why are you doing my job, (Y/N)? – asks Noelle, sitting opposite you and glancing at the tea with honey, then at you.

–Because I can't bear to see you overwork yourself! – you declare sharply, frowning. – You are constantly running back and forth with these boxes, parcels, packages and many other things. I can't bear to see you come home and almost fall on the carpet, falling asleep. And when you don't come home because you fell asleep at work… Noelle, little rose, I can't see it anymore.

The maid blushes a little, looking away from you. Her voice is quite quiet.

–But... what if people need me? You can't help me forever. I took it on my own shoulders…

You reach out and squeeze Noelle's palm. The girl smiles weakly, smelling the cream with roses.

–I'm not trying to replace you. In fact, I almost broke my back when I was carrying boxes, – you laugh awkwardly while the maid bulges her eyes at you. – Don't worry, I'm fine. And I'll even promise that I won't interfere with your work anymore if you take a little vacation. As far as I know, you have accumulated many days of rest, since you never take a day off. How about... a week?

–A-a week?!

–Yes, a week.

–But it's so much! Maybe at least three days?

–A week.

–F-five?

–A week.

–Six and a half?

–A week!

This dispute continues for some time. As a result, you had to drop Noelle on the carpet and start hugging her, kissing her face, tickling her sides, saying that you would only agree for a week or more. The girl laughs and blushes, cries, tries to move away from you, but eventually still snuggles closer to your embrace.

But the long minutes of fun and persuasion are over. You lie on the carpet, hugging Noelle, sometimes kissing her on the cheek or temple. The girl blushes, breathes heavily, as she did not breathe during work, and eventually turns to you, awkwardly leaning forward to leave a small kiss right on your lips.

–O-okay… I'll take a week. But only one.

You immediately jump up with a loud shout of the winner and start jumping back and forth while the maid on the floor giggles and looks at you from under her eyelashes.

–I love you, my dear, – she whispers softly, and you answer her with a loud. “I love you too, little rose!"

The next week is planned by you as a dating week, and although you want to get away from the city, the maid insists that you stay in the city with her. "And if something serious happens? I have to be on the spot and help the residents!" You want to remind me that there is a Traveler for this, but decide to keep silent, because you won't win this battle anyway.

Basically, you go with Noelle to exhibitions and parks, sometimes you go to restaurants or cook right on the street. The maid has changed her usual clothes to more casual ones, and now it is difficult to distinguish her from other residents of the city. Okay, maybe Geo Vision, hanging on its side, betrays someone special in the girl. But otherwise she is an ordinary civilian who smiles at you so brightly that your heart involuntarily freezes. You would kill for that soft and loving smile.

You never thought this time would be easy. Even on your dates there were problems. And they annoyed you!

Why, instead of looking at Noelle, who with shining eyes tells you about some kind of stone from which the decoration is made at the fair, you have to hold the girl tightly so that she does not run away to help some people?!

Most of the time you managed to restrain Noelle, but sometimes the maid continued to insist so much on helping the local that you gave up. (Of course, only half). You sat the girl on a bench, gave the dessert, which always somehow turned out to be in your hands, and went to help the needy.

Noelle tried several times to say that she could do everything herself, but you just looked at her with the eyes of the head of the relationship (unofficial, of course) and continued to hammer nails. (Sometimes you wish it wasn't a broken box, but someone's coffin).

But in any case, after helping the really needy, you took the nice girl by the arm and led on, chatting and almost not listening to the thanks coming from behind, because you wanted to spend as much time as possible with the Geo user. From the outside, it looked more like friends going shopping, but you didn't even mind that few people knew that you and one cute maid were actually dating.

Of course, sometimes people who have completely lost their conscience get in your way. You could understand old people who need to move something heavy, children who could not get their kites from a tree, young visitors who simply could not find their way to this or that part of the city.

But what about people who are quite capable of doing the job on their own?! You will never believe that men two meters tall, looking like champions in carrying heavy things, are not able to carry some boxes! Noticing your displeased look, they immediately begin to pretend that they are a little sick, and Noelle pulls you by the sleeve, with puppy eyes begging to help them.

You sigh and nod, starting to help the maid move the boxes, simultaneously constantly glaring at the men. They pretend that they continue to die from the disease, and you want to hit them even harder.

After a few minutes, all the work is done, and you ask Noelle to find some flowers so that you can make her a flower crown, since she is your queen. The girl blushes, oops and says that she will find something now. You tell her not to hurry, because you are going to give some recommendations to men about how to treat the disease.

The men laugh imperceptibly at your angry statement, while the maid nods, claps her hands and hurries away to find flowers.

As soon as your sweet girl is far enough away, you turn sharply to the men who hide their laughter with a cough. Your eye twitches, and you go to the most central, the leader, and grab him by the shirt, forcing him to bend down and look into your eyes.

–And what was that? – you growl angrily, barely restraining yourself.

–M? What are you talking about?

–I can see that you are not ill at all! Will your hands fall off if you work at least a little?

–Come on, it's even a joy for your girlfriend, – the man chuckles. – And what are you going to do to us, m? Look at you, you can't even lift a sword.

You smile sweetly at the leader, and then sharply kick him in the stomach. Taking out a dagger in a sheath from the inside pocket of your coat, you sharply pierce the enemy. The other men join the battle, but victory is not in their hands.

A few minutes later, you are sitting on a pile of disconnected men and sigh, looking at the dagger presented by Noelle. "Here, this is for you, my dear! I know you sometimes go out of town and hunt monsters on the way. I would like you to feel safer carrying this dagger with you."

You smile while kissing the weapon, and then jump to the ground, hiding the item back in your coat pocket. Humming, you hurry away, leaving the stunned men lying on the ground.

“Are you ready, (Y/N)? I love you, but I won't be merciful to you!" "Yes, I'm ready. Teach me how to fight, Noelle!"

You can easily find the most charming maid nearby. She sits on the grass and carefully examines the flowers before deftly cutting them with her fingernail. You sneak up behind her and put your hands over her eyes, asking who it is. Noelle screams in surprise and fright, then shouts your name and pokes you in the stomach several times, telling you not to scare her like that.

–I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I just couldn't resist – you sit down next to her and hug her from behind.

–Oh, (Y/N)… By the way, what about those men? Did you say what they need to do to heal?

–Yeah, don't worry. They're probably busy right now anyway, so forget about them. Better let's focus on the fact that I will make a flower crown for my little queen, who is also the best maid, will soon become the best knight and maybe even be someone's wife later, – Noelle blushes deeply, swallowing. – And she's also so beautiful and talented… M-m, I love her so much.

The maid laughs as she watches you weave the stems together.

–Probably, the master who created the crown is also very cute. Because only the best, most beautiful person can make such a beautiful crown.

Noelle hugs your hand and puts her head on your shoulder. You don't hold back and giggle.

–We are now talking like those typical sweet couples from books.

–But it suits me. Because I really love you.

You look into Noelle's eyes for a few seconds, and then close your own eyes and bend down to kiss the maid. When you realize that you have been reaching down for too long, you open your eyes and are surprised to find that no one is around.

The girl turns out to be not far from you, laying out a blanket.

–Wh-what?.. Where did you get it from?!

–The knight is always ready,– Noelle giggles, looking around. – I know, I said that we will walk outside the city just a little bit, and then we will go to that exhibition of rare weapons, as we planned, but the weather is so good here… I want to be with you a little longer.

You nod and smile as you sit on the blanket. The maid puts her head on your shoulder again, watching you work. Sometimes she stops you to touch your cold hands and press them to her cheeks to warm them. She always leaves little kisses here and there, smiling shyly. But after a while, she freezes in one place, sitting comfortably on your shoulder.

You think for a long time about which flowers to use when, that you do not immediately notice that Noelle falls asleep on your shoulder. With a grunt, you put down the crown and gently shift the maid's head onto your lap. After removing a few strands from her eyes, you tenderly whisper: "It seems that even with our little "vacation" you are tired. Well, sleep, I'll guard your dreams. I hope you have a good dream, little rose."

You take the flower crown in your hands again and continue working on it.

When a cold wind touches your neck, you decide it's time to go home. Bending down, you kiss Noelle's cheek, slowly shaking it from side to side and calling by name, asking her to get up.

The girl slowly opens her eyes, yawning. She feels something heavy on her head and raises her hand to touch the flowers gathered in an elegant crown.

"It's getting colder," you say meanwhile, enjoying her sleepy face. She almost always gets up before you, so it's rare to see this. "I don't mind being with you anytime, but I don't really want to fight monsters.

–This crown... – the maid suddenly mutters, slowly blinking her eyes, – isn't it for your friend the knight maid?

You can't hide your giggles at how cute and silly Noelle can be who has just woken up from a dream.

–As for me, I delivered the crown to the right place. By the way, do you feel the roses in the crown? I had a couple of hairpins with them in my pocket, so I decided to use decorative flowers in my work, since this very knight maid loves these flowers very much.

Noelle finally wakes up and blinks rapidly, blushing. She gets up and turns away from you with a small smile, trying to hide her blush. You stretch and get up, saying it's time to go home.

Usually the maid is very embarrassed to show her affection in public, she agrees only to small kisses and holding her little fingers, sometimes she lets you grab her wrist. But today, now Noelle is holding your hand tightly, and you are trying not to blush from the determination of the Geo user. The maid insists on taking you home, and you agree, unable to say anything when the girl walks so confidently next to you, squeezing your hand and sometimes touching the crown on her head.

You were taken to the door. You say goodbye to her and say that you had a great time together. Turning around, you are ready to open the door when you hear the cry of your name. Turning around, you see that the girl is running towards you with red cheeks and arms open in all directions. Jumping up, you open your arms in response to catch Noelle, who crashes into you with all her might, forcing you to fall to the ground.

You already want to ask what happened, as the girl takes more air into her lungs and screams: "I love you so much, (Y/N-N-N)!" You don't have time to say anything, because Noelle, who has attracted everyone's attention in general, bends down to kiss you right on the lips.

While you are recovering, the maid is already on her feet, lifting you up as well. She awkwardly hovers in place, trying to hide her face in her palms. But you gently take her wrists and take her hands away, giving the girl a big smile.

–I love you too, Noelle!

The maid giggles and you kiss her on the lips one more time before saying goodbye for good.

Entering the house, you immediately close the door and slowly slide down the wooden surface to the floor before getting up and jumping around the hallway and screaming softly. "She's so cute!"

[curiokhan0113]

The Hunt

From the way to walk

Lah lah lah lah lah lah

From this  way to talk

Blah blah blah blah bla

Preying like the hawk

Cacaw cacaw cacaw

If this is who to stalk

Nah nah nah nah nah

When there is thebalk

Wah wah wah wah wa

Cause  on this tic toc

Ah ah ah ah ah ah ah

So is a time to swawk

Or hah hah hah hah ha

[chascwilliams]

"Ah," the man nods. "It's actually exactly what I said." He adjusts himself on the stool, pressing his lips. "It was more of a blah, but bla was so close." Chase chuckles breathlessly before clearing his throat. "Nah, I was just letting you know they called it for the night." He gestures to the bartenders.

@castellcnos

"Can the messenger repeat that? I'm a few beers deep and all I heard was bla bla bla."

[finiffy]

Like yeah, if Glass actually knows the truth, it's kind of a mental torture for him to observe Gears in that state of soundless remorse. And, like, Gears is a man of logic, once again. He might as well notice during one of the therapy sessions, that at the very previous day Iceberg was fine, even happy, and never ever planned any sort of suicide. Yet Glass can't confirm that theory thanks to rules, and instead he goes with all the same cliched speech of "suiciders often feel happy when about to commit their plan, due to which such acts may seem out of sudden bla-bla-blah". He is damn psychologist, he probably knows some tricks to make person believe what they say.

Ah, and should I mention the chain reaction of: Gears acts odd and seems depressed >> That puts some worry to his chaldhood friend Bright >> And to Glass as well, cus now he has to work with two depressed people, both he knows well yet to both he can't tell the truth.

Pain.

.

[firey-beefydie]

more spoilers under cut!

plot went back to box, i feel like this is a better time then ever to start another reblog

II2 18 REBLOG BUT EVERY TIME BOX APPEARS ON SCREEN I START ANOTHER REBLOG (NOT CLICKBAIT!!!)

its very interesting how they all ended up in this place. that i dont even think is melife

small bonus stuff:

oooh. thats probably not good

this episode and this place were in (i dont think its melife, its gotta be some afterlife thing thats tied to melife and not melife itself, otherwise why would box be sapient here) have some heavy ties to religion and stuff

"the tails" "ah yes, the tales... yap yap yap blah blah bla-" "no i mean the tails. ils."

wait bow and dough went through the race thing?

oh i got spoiled from the comments. nothing too big and i wont reveal it yet but :(((

box is so spiteful to mephone4 but suitcase is helping them ❤️❤️

oh right. the others dont know

"HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO REGULAR RIGHT NOW? YOU JUST TOLD ME THAT IM A FAKE FAN!" HAHA lol

aww im sorry tissues ❤️

haha i love how they regenerate in their iconic poses

PAYJAY FANS STAY WINNING

salt is the girl trying to get in the way of a yaoi relationship that everyone in the fandom hates. but this is a rare case of them being right

I DONT CARE ABOUT SPOILED LEMON brrooooo

walkie talkie??

s3 contestants mentioned!!!!

way to leave us on a cliffhanger

my thoughts are starting to dwindle. im just gonna end the liveblog here and just give you my opinion once i finish the episode

so im a lil late for ii2 18. but im still doing a liveblog baby

ill try to keep this shorter and more consise than the bfdia 15 one so more important thoughts go at the top and there will be a bonus section for each little thing i noticed/thought was cool at the bottom of each reblog.

obviously spoilers. so watch out for that under the cut.

when searching for the episode earlier this day, i kept getting what seemed to be leaks if the episode titled "the end of an era". glad to see that isnt the actual title. i actually put some of those videos in my watch later, to watch later and see if the leaks were truly accurate.

first thoughts in the intro song and montage flashback: AUUUUUYGGGHHHHHHH 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 HITTING ME IN DA FEEEEELS and its animated so welllllll

box speaking and being alive is definitely something i didnt expect. going off of just the first scene that he talked, im on the edge of whether this was a good narrative decision or not.

i predicted mephone4s returning btw. you can see my live reaction below in the bonus section. i dont know why hes in the melife thing tho.

bonus small things:

AWWWW THE FLASHBACK MONTAGE 😭😭 and the MUSIC

mepad origin????? NO WAY

OMG the contestants walking past mephine and changing their expression to fit what happened to them after the series 😭��😭😭

WHY DID COBS TAKE HIS HAND SO AGGRESIVELY

speaking of cobs, i think his voice and va are so interesting because it didnt start as the cold analytical fake smile voice we have now.

i wonder if adam and the crew will appear in the episode?

gosh cobs voice really is cold.

whats the egg for...?

oh- mephone fl- WHAT WHY IS OJ HERE. ARE THEY INSIDE OF MEPHONE4??? HOLY SHIT! THEYRE ALIVEEEEE

paper x knife shippers are celebrating.

haha paper refers to his evil paper confrontation as "a moment of personal growth"

hi springy. bye springy. hi round table ad

SUITCASE SCENE! i feel so bad. BOX????

BOX!!?!??!?!?!??! HOLY FUCK I DIDNT EXPECT BOX TO SPEAK WTF. HES A JOKE CHARACTER

why they looking for fan? is it because of the egg?

"fajita fiend" LOL

OMG the cresendo right before mephone just says "run" OMG

COBS NOOOOOOO WHYD YOU DO THATTTTT

cobs please stop screaming. actually please keep screaming i love how you voice act holy shit

WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT NO DONT KILL MEPHONE

WHAT THE FUCK THATS PURE VIOLENCE

yk i hope mephone4s appears in the episode at least once HOKY SHIT WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT WHA I DIDNT THINK ID ACTUALLY BE RIGHT WHAAAAAAATTTTTT

[phoenix-wulf]

Biographical Info

Name, Nicknames: Artemis Nightingale, Misty (don’t call her that)

Callsign: Nightshade

Gender: Female 

Sexuality: Bisexual

Age: 22

Background Info

Weapon: Bow and Arrow

Magic Specialization: Wild Mage 

Familiar: Mohawk (Mo) the White Raven 

Racial Heritage, Birthplace: Elf, Vale

Education: Circle Mage

Miscellaneous Info

Past Jobs: Body Guard, Scribe, Bard, and Contortionist 

Likes: animals, the color purple, yoga, 

Dislikes: mean people 

Strengths: purple fire 

Weaknesses: Divination 

Hobbies/Special Skills: Singing, contortion, taking care of Mo

Spirit Animal/Daemon/Patronus: Beaver, Viverroid, Raven

Major Arcana:  The Hermit

DnD Morality Alignment: 

Hogwarts House: Ravenclaw

Personality

Heart of Gold/Will of Iron

Rebellious/Loyal

Independent/Social

Tactful/Straightforward

Bold/Cautious

Charming/Stoic/Intimidating

Witty/Sincere

Resentful/Forgiving

Self-Preserving/Self-Sacrificing

Book-Smart/Street-Smart

One-God/Atheist/Old Faith

Relationships

Best Friend(s): Trouble, Lavinet, Red, Chase

Preferred Mission Partner(s): Blade, Red

Friendly Rival(s): Tallys, Brioney, Alya, Halek

Love Interest(s): Blade

Ship Name(s): Blademis? Blartemis? Artemade?

First Kiss Scenario: “Your first kiss with Blade happened by a campfire.”

Enemies: Endarken 

References from Last Employers:

(”Hey Blade! Wanna see my old reference letters?” “Sure I have the time.”)

“...Artemis Nightingale shows exceptional penmanship and direction in her work.” -  Markius, Head Librarian of the Library of (”Hmm? it seems the name has been... burned out?” “Oh yeah, the library kinda burned down and that was one of the only papers to survive...”)

“Oh yes the Mystical Nightshade! My pale, moonlight lite star! Once there was a girl so pale and beautiful the moon grew jealous - ah? what? This ISN’T a promotion letter?! Then what are we here for?! Fine, she’s a great worker, blah, blah, bla- wait, are you writing that? AND THAT? STOP, STOP IT NOW-!” - The Great Simone BonBon, Ring Leader of the BonBon Traveling Circus (”You were in the circus?” “For a few weeks.”)

“Girl is able to sing.” - Tommie, Innkeeper (”... That’s it?’” “Yeah that's all I could get out of him. Tommie was a man very, very few words.”)

Art

@shepherds-of-haven​

[irnbraw]

“You know the Rules..!”

(But do you?)

The SNP may be coming for your livelihood your money or even your liberty.  Based on what?  A new set of jockdown rules that not only do not seem to apply to the Justice Secretary’s favorite religion, football club or political party - but that defy clear understanding (even if you have a maths degree, a pilot’s license and a Phd in jurisprudence).

So, lets recap:

Cafés: If you serve Rum Baba you must close - unless you also have omelette on the menu OR use plastic cutlery. If you charge for condiments, but not water, you may stay open until 6.45 pm (except for weeknights or for students). ‘Light meals’ are now banned.  All chairs must be a minimum of 12 meters apart but not more than 6 feet. (Or if they weigh less in the mornings).

Environmental Health Officers will visit your establishment 2-3 times an hour for the first 7 hours of the lockdown but more sporadically thereafter.  It will be unlawful to offer them tea (but not coffee, unless they too are also part time students at a FE college, in which case, NO).

Restaurants: Restaurants are forbidden from operating as cafés until further notice (and/or a clarified definition and scholarly ruling from an imam).  All plates, cups, (saucers are excluded to prevent plate double counting) and spoons MUST be discarded and then cleaned, regularly.

Opening hours for any restaurant with a front door opening directly onto a “wide” or “busy” street - AND- within 40 meters of a place of worship, doctor’s surgery, cross-walk or place of Historic Interest (as designated by Historic Scotland) MUST not.  Thereafter opening may be unrestricted, while the premises are closed.

Bistros:  See under ‘Bistros’.

Pubs/Clubs (without a juke box but WITH a Space Invaders) & Wine Bars: All such premises MUST close at 2.00 pm and reopen not later than 3.40 pm for either 16, 33 or 11 minutes, depending on the day.

All: Old people must be invisible at all times during the pandemergency.  Sighting an ‘old’ or ‘older’ person WILL result in a fine commensurate with that person’s inability to reprogram a VHS recorder.

Any violations of these orders, or the spirit of these regulations or cheek will result in loss of licenses to operate any hair or beauty salon at a place of business OR AT HOME.

Scottishy Guvenrnement Rules 

Ah Na Regularis ni comprehendi Na Alaba Bla Blah

[hotsummertrash]

you are the reason ⋆ c.h

Pairing: Calum x OC

Summary: Calum reflects on his past after two of the most important people in his life are gone.

Warning(s): angst, fluff, memories, swearing, fighting, this is a whole ass story

Song: You Are the Reason by Calum Scott

Word Count: 6.5k

A/N: italics are memories, bold italics are song lyrics

• • • •

"Still staring at the picture?" Mali's voice pulled Calum out of his trance. 

His tired eyes glanced up at his sister who stood in his doorway, her arms crossed and shoulder leaning against the wall. Her face held outright pity as she looked down on her younger brother whose eyes were red with dark bags beneath them.

"I-" his raspy voice starts before he cuts himself off, a small exhale escaping his mouth. He looks back down at the picture frame in his hands, his face crinkling back up as his eyes sting with tears for the tenth time that day.

"Cal," Mali sighed, walking into his room and taking a seat on the bed beside him. "You've haven't left this house in a week."

"They'll be coming back soon," he assured himself. "I want to be here when they get here."

Mali frowned, glancing away from her brother and at the ground solemnly.

Calum's eyes burned holes into the photo he was holding, his vision roaming back and forth between two of the most beloved faces in his world.

"Bub," Mali began, but Calum quickly cut her off with a shake of his head.

"Don't say anything," he mumbled. "They're coming back. I know they are."

"The guys are worried," she informed him, but he kept quiet there on out. Mali closed her mouth and reluctantly nodded, clasping her hands together and rising back up to her feet. She headed back out of the room, halting right before exiting through the door. "I'll be back tomorrow. I left food in the kitchen. Love you, Cal."

When he doesn't reply, she bites the inside of her left cheek and officially leaves, making her way out his room, down the stairs, out of his house and to her car.

The second Calum hears the front door close, he's snapped out of his trance once again. He looks up and notices that his sister is gone. He hadn't realized when she'd done so.

He slowly placed the frame down on the bed beside him before standing up and running a hand through his tangled tousles.

His feet slid across the floor as he trudged out of his room, his stomach making noises due to the emptiness of it.

He subconsciously halted in front of one specific door, goosebumps rising on his timid skin as nausea settles within him. His eyes water for what seems like the hundredth time when he reads the seven letters on the top of the white door.

'Grayson'.

• • • •

Four Years Ago

"He already has your hair," Elaine murmured as she watched her three-week-old baby boy in the middle of her and Calum's shared bed.

Calum smiled, staring down at his beautiful son whose eyes were closed as he peacefully slept.

Elaine couldn't stop awing at Grayson, even weeks after he had been born. She still couldn't fathom the thought that this tiny perfect human had formed inside of her.

This mix of Elaine and Calum with dark curly hair, chocolate brown eyes and golden skin was the newfound epitome of love for both of them.

Calum took his son's hand into his own, running his thumb over the soft skin. His eyes then traveled up to his wife who was too busy looking down at Grayson. Calum happily reflected on his small family, which he loved with all of his heart.

There and then, he knew that nothing would ever top the feeling he had felt at that moment.

"I don't want him to grow," Calum admitted with a small laugh.

"I just want to stare at him like this all day," Elaine gushed, tilting her head to the side. "I love him so much, my chest aches."

"My two angels," Calum beams at the two. "My two loves."

• • • •

Three Years Ago

"Good morning, bug," Elaine's soft voice made Grayson smile up at her, his knees bending as his hands held on to the bars of his crib. "Why are you up so early?" She lifts him up into her arms and kisses the side of his curly head.

"Dah," the toddler hummed, bunching Elaine's shirt in his tiny hands.

"Wanna wake up Daddy?" She suggested, to which he sluggishly nodded. She let out a small chuckle before turning and walking out of his room, heading into hers and Calum's.

Calum had shuffled to the middle of the bed in the small amount of time she's been gone, his arms spread beside him as he comfortably sleeps on his stomach. Elaine settles herself beside him and places Grayson onto the bed.

Grayson crawls to his father, placing his hands on Calum's face and babbling a few incoherent words - if he could even call them words.

"Dah," Grayson muttered.

"Daddy's tired," Elaine runs a hand through Calum's hair, igniting a soft grunt.

"- time is it?" Calum lowly grumbled, blinking a few times before turning on his back. His yawn forms into a smile when he spots Grayson, taking his son and sitting him on his bare chest.

"A little after eight," Elaine doesn't pull her hand from her husband's roots, an action he genuinely enjoyed.

"I'm exhausted," Calum yawns again as Grayson scoots backward on his chest so he can lie down, resting his face on his father's collarbone. "What're you doing up so early?"

"I think Mali put him to bed early last night," Elaine leaned her back against the headboard and grabbed her phone from the nightstand with her free hand, scrolling through a few emails while Calum began to drift back to sleep.

Grayson sat up and saw Calum's closed eyes, his face scrunching up in distress.

"Dah," Grayson whined, catching Elaine's attention.

"Daddy's sleeping," she cooed, putting her phone down and reaching over to take him off of Calum's chest.

Grayson let out a whine, his eyes forming tears at the separation.

"Don't cry, baby, he'll be up soon," Elaine sighed, wiping away the first tear that fell. She bit her bottom lip as Grayson's mouth opened, knowing that the next sound leaving his mouth would be a heavy and chalky sob.

Calum's eyes fluttered open once again as he hears Grayson's cries.

"Wanna lay with Daddy, then?" Elaine suggests, and Grayson eagerly nods. Calum forms a lazy yet smug grin while Elaine rolled her eyes with a small smile. "What happened to being a Mama's boy, eh?" She huffed, placing Grayson down beside his father.

Calum opened his arms and Grayson crawled right into them, his head lying on Calum's chest while he sits on his knees. Calum's hand runs up and down Grayson's back, stopping the tot's cries and Elaine couldn't help but gush at the sight. No matter how many times she's seen the two interact, she knew she'd never get over it.

"I'm gonna change," Elaine stood from the bed and used the hair tie on her wrist to bring up her shoulder-length hair into a ponytail.

"For wha'?" Calum asked.

"Going to pick up Dee from Dad's," she replies, pushing excess hair behind her ear. "Remember?"

Elaine's dad and Farrah, his wife and Elaine's stepmother, would be visiting Haiti and staying with Farrah's family for the next two weeks, leaving their Norwich Terrier, Dee, in Elaine's hands until they return.

"Ah, yeah," he nods. "Thought you were gonna do that later."

"Well, I'm up now and not going back to sleep anytime soon," she shrugged, turning and making her way to the walk-in closet. She grabs one of Calum's graphic tees and a pair of leggings before putting them on.

After brushing her teeth and washing her face, she walks back into the bedroom to see Calum back asleep while Grayson lies beside him.

When Grayson sees his mother, he sits up and opens his arms to her.

"Oh, now you want Mama?" She teases, picking him up into his arms. "Want to come to Grandpa and Grandma with me?"

Grayson doesn't respond, not truly understanding what she had asked. Elaine takes the silence as a yes and goes to get Grayson ready in his room.

She gives him a quick bird bath before putting him into dark blue sweat slacks and a regular grey shirt. She put his Velcro shoes on before sliding her own sneakers on, as well.

"Let's say bye to Daddy," Elaine said as the two entered the master bedroom once again. "Give kiss."

Grayson leans towards Calum from his mother's arms and pressed his lips against the corner of Calum's lips. Calum stirred awake for the third time, blinking his tired eyes into clear vision.

"We'll be back soon," Elaine smiled, leaning over herself to give her husband a kiss. Calum kisses her back on the lips for a few seconds before kissing Grayson on the forehead. "Love you."

"Love you, too," he hums as his wife and son exit his bedroom.

Twenty minutes later, Elaine and Grayson arrive at her father and step-mother's house. The second they step through the door, Grayson is running into Farrah's arms.

"Gam!" He giggled as his grandmother lifted him into her arms and attacked his face with her kisses.

"Hi, Mom," Elaine chuckled, closing the front door behind her just as Dee comes running into the room, barking up a storm.

"Hi, Baby," Farrah kisses Elaine on the cheek before turning back to Grayson.

"Where's Dad?" Elaine walked into the living room and set her keys on the coffee table.

"In the backyard, pulling out the weeds," Farrah hummed.

"Smells good, you making food?" Elaine's face lit up as her mouth slightly watered at the thought of her step-mother's cooking.

When Elaine was fifteen, her father had re-married and the family of two became a family of three. Elaine was an American-raised Italian and all she knew before Farrah entered their lives was microwavable dishes and cliché dinners only on days like Thanksgiving and Christmas. When Farrah had become her official step-mother, it was as if an entire new world opened up at her hands and that world contained various flavors of Caribbean food, her newfound favorite kind.

"Ah, wi!" Farrah grinned. "I'm making food for you guys while we're gone. Got nothing better to do."

"That's too kind, Mom, thank you," Elaine cheered, walking to the kitchen.

"No problem, Baby. There are plantains, potato salad, egg salad, mayi moulin, blah blah blah," she lists. "Woke up early this morning and had nothing better to do. Packing is done, and Gio wanted to pull the weeds before we're off. The food's done, actually. Just need to put it all in containers."

"Smells like heaven," Elaine fawns. Farrah grins at the compliment and places Grayson back onto the ground, although the sticks by her side.

"Hey!" All heads turn at the loud and deep voice caused by Elaine's father as he walked in through the back door. The sweat on him was very visible, from his armpits to his shining forehead. "Thought you were coming later."

"Grayson and I woke up early, so I decided to come and get Dee now," Elaine shrugged, walking towards her father and wrapping her arms around him, avoiding his damp pit stains.

"Where's my favorite grand-baby?" Gio beamed as he pulled away from his daughter, leaning down happily.

"He's your only grand-baby," Farrah cocked her head to the side as Grayson gave his grandfather a hug.

"Not for long, right?" Gio glances up at Elaine with a smug grin, to which she rolled her eyes at. "Where's Cal?"

"Sleeping. We got in late last night."

Elaine and Calum had gone to a concert the night before with a few friends and then drinks afterward, leading up to them arriving home at one in the morning. It was safe to say that Calum was sporting a very severe hangover.

"Ah, well I'll give him a call sometime soon," Gio shrugged. Elaine always loved the relationship between her father and husband. She had been afraid growing up that he would never accept anybody she'd gotten with, but when he actually accepted Calum as her boyfriend, eventual husband and father of her child, everybody was exceptionally taken by surprise.

Elaine bent down and picked up Dee, kissing the old dog on the top of its head.

"Thanks for holding her," Gio nodded, rising to his feet.

"No worries. Grayson loves Dee, right, Gray?"

"Dee!" Grayson called, causing Gio to let out a hefty chuckle.

Elaine and Grayson hang about her parent's house for another half hour before they head back home, with a tote full of containers and food and a fifteen-year-old dog.

"There my gorgeous family is," Calum's voice echoes through the halls as Elaine walks in with Grayson and Dee. "What smells so good? Farrah give us leftovers?"

"More like entire meals," Elaine holds the tote up. "Said she wanted us to eat well while she was gone."

"Love that woman," Calum laughed, kneeling down to pet Dee. Grayson kicked off his shoes before running off to the playroom, busying himself with the various toys surrounding him.

"Even made your favorite," Elaine hummed as Calum stood back up and took her hand into his, leading her to the kitchen.

"Her potato salad?"

"Mhm," she hummed and Calum fist-bumped the air happily.

After she set the bag on the counter, she turned in Calum's arms, wrapping her arms around his neck while his wrap around her waist.

"Want to watch movies with a few friends tonight?" He suggests. "Can put Gray to bed and then eat so much our stomachs hurt."

"Sounds like a ball," Elaine giggled. "Who's coming?"

"The guys, Crystal, Patrick, Andy, Kahleel," he lists.

"Alright. I'm not picking the movie, though," she lightly pats his cheek. "Last time I picked the movie, everyone hated it."

"We didn't hate it," he lies yet visibly fails. Elaine rose a single eyebrow but he held his act. "Well, I kind of liked it..." Elaine's face only grew more unamused and he eventually gave up. "Alright, I'll choose the movie."

"Mhm," she nodded.

"But we've got to go shopping for snacks. I don't want them eating our food, most importantly- Farrah's food."

"There's enough to go around," Elaine laughed.

"Nope," he shook his head. "More for us. Let's go."

"Fine," Elaine shook her head with another chuckle, walking out of his hold. "Let me just put this food away first and we'll go."

"Gray!" Calum called, walking to the playroom that was right next to the living room.

"Huh?" Grayson called back, walking out of the room with Dee in his footsteps.

"Let's put your shoes back on, Buddy."

The three head to Target not too long after that. Grayson sits in the front of the cart while Calum pushes and Elaine throws whatever she believes their friends will eat into it.

"Patrick and Kahleel said they like plantain chips, right?" Elaine asked although she knew Calum wouldn't know.

"I have no idea," he shrugged, throwing a pack of dried mango into the cart for himself.

Elaine opened her mouth when someone tapped on her shoulder. She turned and rose her eyebrows at the sight of three teenage girls who she could only guess were fans.

"Oh my- h-hi," one of them greet.

"Hi," Elaine smiled.

"You're Elaine Hood," another one of them says, star-struck eyes staring at her.

"I like to say I am," Elaine jokes.

"And you're Calum Hood," she says, internally squealing.

"Could we please get a picture?" The third asks. "But it's completely fine if not, we just-"

"Of course!" Elaine waved a single hand. "What are your names?" She soon learned that Cassidy, Eve and India stood in front of her.

"I really loved you in Laze Daze and Land Of! Those are actually my two favorite movies," Eve says, and Elaine basks in the compliment.

During Elaine's elementary and middle school years, she had acted in five movies, four of them being world-known. Before entering high school, she chose to stop acting because that's not what she wanted to do in life. And even though she stopped all those years ago, people still recognized her to this day.

"And I love Five Seconds of Summer so much! I've been a fan since you guys opened for One Direction!" Cassidy enthusiastically says, making Calum smile.

"Is that Grayson? He's so adorable!" Eve adds.

"I want your genes," India jokes and Elaine lightly chuckles.

Elaine takes a picture with the three girls before Calum does so as well and they leave hastily and gratefully.

"They were sweet," Elaine hummed as they strolled into the frozen aisle.

Calum just nodded, internally happy that others love his family, as well. Although nobody loves them more than he does.

• • • •

Two Years Ago

"This one looks nice, eh?" Calum hums, picking a shell from the wet sand and holding it up in front of Grayson.

"Pretty," Grayson nods, taking the shell from Calum’s hold and putting it into the green bucket. He turned just as the tide came in, water running over his feet. He grew giddy and squealed as his head shrunk into his shoulders.

"Water's cold?" Calum laughs.

"Yeah, water cold," Grayson repeats.

Calum smiled and looked over to where Elaine, Kahleel and Ashton sat beneath their very large beach umbrella. Ashton and Elaine laughed together while Kahleel was fast asleep, her sun hat on her face blocking her from the winded sand.

"Daddy, go in," Grayson put the bucket on the floor.

"You wanna go in?" Calum asked.

"Yeah! Yeah, in."

"You sure, Bug?"

"In," Grayson repeated.

"Alright, alright," Calum gave in, taking the bucket that carried a few shells and placing it a bit farther out so the tide wouldn't take it.

Calum takes Grayson's hand into his and they walk a few inches deeper into the water.

"Cold!" Grayson squealed and Calum chuckled. Calum bends down and flicks very little water at him. "Daddy!" Grayson splashes water back at his father and they both were swarmed in laughter as they played in the water.

Calum would lift his son out of the ocean water and then place him back down repeatedly, which was more fun than it sounded for the both of them.

From the shore, Elaine and Ashton watched the two with smiles on their faces. Elaine got her phone out and snapped a few pictures of Calum kissing Grayson's cheek and spinning him in the air.

Eventually, Elaine had gotten up and went to join the two in the water. She happily took Grayson from Calum's hands before Calum wrapped his arms around her waist from behind and held them both in their air. Scream-like giggles filled the air.

Moments later, the playful energy had cooled down and Grayson's head rested on his mother's shoulder. Calum's arm is around his wife's waist and the three turn to watch as the sun slowly disappears behind the body of water, purple skies taking over.

Calum reflected on his life at that moment, subconsciously smiling and tightening his hold on Elaine, kissing the side of her head giddily.

"Love you, Angel," he sighs.

• • • •

One Year Ago

"L is for the way you look at me," Elaine sings as Calum and her glide through the living room, Michael Bublé blaring through the wall speakers.

"O is for the only one I see," Calum mixes singing and giggling in together, the two glasses of wine barely affecting him.

"V is very, very extraordinary!"

"E is even more than anyone that you adore."

"And love is all that I can give to you," they both sing together, their hands clasped and feet roaming the floor in sync. "Love is more than just a game for two. Two in love can make it. Take my heart but please don't break it. Love was made for me and you!"

Calum abruptly leaned forward and pecked her lips, making her grin just before he hoisted her in the air and on his shoulder.

"Calum!" She squealed, slapping his back and then his rear end a few times.

He dropped her on the couch and threw himself on top, both of them erupting into full belly laughs. Calum's kisses start at her shoulder and lead up to the corner of her mouth before pulling away with a mocking smile.

"Michael is still playing, Cal!" She pushed him off of her and jumped up, twirling to the sound of Michael Bublé's voice happily. Calum grins at the sight, leaning back and running a hand through his hair.

"Dance with me, Baby," Elaine holds her hand out for him, and he shrugs before taking it and rising. They spin, skip and leap around, having the time of their tipsy lives. At the last note of the song, Elaine takes Calum and tips him over like the males typically do to females. Jokingly, she drops him and they erupt into another fit of heavy laughs.

"Mommy! Daddy!" Grayson's voice shouts from the second floor. Calum sits up and Elaine freezes as both of their parenting instincts take place.

"Stop the music!" Calum shouts as he hops up and runs after Elaine up the stairs.

"Gray, what is it?" Elaine calls and rushed into Grayson's room. She flicks his light on and hurried to his bed, Calum on her heels.

"My nose is fuffy," he whines, kicking his sheets off of him.

"Your nose is stuffy?" Calum furrows his eyebrows and Grayson nods.

"And my head hurts," he adds.

Elaine places the back of her hand against his forehead and recoils at the hot skin.

"Think he might have a fever," Elaine sighed, standing up and heading to the first-floor bathroom where the first aid kit is. She takes out the thermometer and makes her way back to Grayson's room.

Grayson sits on Calum's lap as he quietly cries and winces.

"Open your mouth, Gray," Elaine instructs. "And lift your tongue." After a thorough check, she bites her lip as the thermometer reads 101.7 degrees. She eventually gets Tylenol and a cold cloth while Calum moves Grayson to their bedroom.

After an hour of whines, Grayson is fast asleep on between Calum and Elaine. Elaine rests on her side, one arm beneath her head while she runs her free hand through her son's hair, a liking he had gotten from his father.

"Scared me half to death," Calum murmured with a small sigh.

"Thank God it's just a fever," Elaine said, her voice low and soft as she tries not to wake the three-year-old.

Calum leaned forward and kissed Grayson's forehead, pulling back and watching as Elaine's eyes flutter closed and her hands slowly come to a stop in Grayson's hair. He lets out a sigh and closes his own eyes, basking in the presence of the loves of his life.

• • • •

One Week Ago

"You're overreacting," Calum scoffs as he bent forward and slid his shoes on.

"You haven't been home in weeks, Calum," Elaine rolled her eyes. "And then when you are home, you spend all of your time out and about! How is wanting my husband to spend time with his family 'overreacting'?"

"I'm always with you two, I just want to hang out with friends. What's wrong with that?"

"There's nothing wrong with that. But there is something wrong when Grayson repeatedly asks where his father is."

"You act like I don't come home at all," he rolls his eyes.

"You might as well not! You come home at three in the fucking morning every day and sleep until noon, and then you're out again," Elaine throws her hands in the air.

"You're shitting on me because for the first time in five years I'm living my fucking life," he stood up angrily, not even realizing the words that came from his mouth.

"Oh, really?" Elaine crosses her arms and raises an eyebrow. "First time in five years?"

"Don't act surprised," he spits.

"Excuse me for being taken aback while my husband basically tells me that he regrets marrying me and having our child."

"You're twisting my words," Calum grumbled. "Talk to me when you're over the dramatics."

"I don't know what's up your ass, but I suggest you take it out."

"You! You're up my ass! All day, every fucking day! I'm twenty-two years old, Elaine! I'm still young! I should be having fun, wasting the night away. Not shopping for car beds and... microwaves!"

"It's kind of too late for second thoughts, Calum," Elaine stood in front of the bed as her chest ached with every word that came out of Calum's mouth.

"Yeah, I understand that much," he murmurs.

The two are quiet for a few seconds, Elaine's eyes brimming with tears as she quietly pants, not knowing what to think or do.

"So you do regret marrying me," she concludes.

"We were too young then, and we're still too young now," he shrugs.

"And you regret having Grayson," she narrows her eyes as they cast downwards and to her bare feet against the carpeted floor.

"I have to go," Calum ignores her words.

"So you're just going to leave? While we're talking?"

"We're not talking, Elaine. You're yelling at me!"

"Because you're being a fucking prick!" She shouted, her face red with anger. "You tell me that you regret ‘us’ and think you can just go drink the night away? Leaving your wife and son at home?!"

"I'll be home in a few," he ignores her words once again, making her even more upset.

"How could you talk to me like that and expect everything to be fine? For me to just accept that you want to take back everything we've built together - our lives?!" Elaine's voice only grew louder.

Calum keeps silent and walks out of the room, making his way to Grayson's.

He turns into his son's room and catches Grayson slowly flipping through a picture book.

Grayson looks up, his eyes brightening when he sees his father.

"Daddy!" Grayson cheered, standing up and running into his father's arms. "Daddy, can we watch Paw Patrol movie? Me and Mommy watched it, I want you to!"

"Maybe another time, Bug," Calum sighed, kissing the top of Grayson's head. "How about tomorrow?"

"Can't cancel a night of drinks to spend time with your own son?" Elaine's voice made his stomach sink from behind him.

"I just want time for myself, can I not have that?" Calum asks through grit teeth.

"Mommy, why are you crying? Are you okay?" Grayson moved away from Calum and to his mother.

"Yes, Baby, I'm alright," Elaine exhaled, wiping at her damp cheeks.

"Where's Daddy going?" Grayson asked as Calum headed downstairs.

"Gray, go to your room. I'll be there in a second," Elaine told the four-year-old before reluctantly following Calum to the first floor.

"Hope your dramatics are gone by the time I'm back," he tiffs, walking out the front door and to his car in the driveway.

"Have a great time, Calum. Hope you can find another girl at the club tonight, ask to marry her and then give her a kid. Maybe you won't regret this one."

"Would you stop it?" Calum spat.

Without another word, she slams the door and hastily locks it, taking a step back and looking at the closed doors with blurry vision. She picked up a hand and placed it on her mouth as a son began to brew. Her face shriveled and she dropped to the floor, moving to bury her entire face in her hands.

"Mommy."

Elaine's face lifted from her palms at the cracked voice of her son. She turned to him, who stood on the bottom step with a frown on his small oblivious face.

"Daddy make you cry?" He quietly questions.

She didn't know how to answer him, standing up and taking her quivering bottom lip between her teeth.

"Let's get you into a bath. Almost bedtime," she sniffs, lifting him in her arms and heading back up the stairs.

Grayson didn't play in the bath like he usually did that night. His mood wasn't the highest knowing that his mother wasn't okay. His eyes kept roaming her sad and distant face. When he was hanging into his pajamas, tears were still leaking out of her eyes.

"Can I sleep in your bed?" He asked, wanting to be close to his glum mother.

"Of course, Baby," she says quietly, taking his hand in hers and leading him to her room. She lifts him onto the bed and forces a smile as she watches him crawl underneath the covers.

Elaine crawled in beside him, lying on her back while Grayson shuffles his head into her neck.

Her mind drifted as Grayson fell asleep, and eventually, she realizes that she had been staring at the ceiling for two hours. Her eyes were numb and swollen by now and her chest felt heavier than ever. The migraine she had didn't help with her emotions either. No matter how long she tried, her mind kept wandering back to Calum and everything he told her mere hours before.

She wondered what he was up to at that moment - if he took some of her sarcastic advice and hooked up with someone else; if he didn't regret a word and actually meant that his entire life with her was a mistake; if he genuinely felt tied down by them.

"Time," she whispers to herself. "Time is what he wants."

Without a second thought, she slid Grayson off of her and rose from the bed. With a burst of negative adrenaline, she pulled two suitcases out from the back of the closet. She set them both at the end of the bed and opened them before going back to the closet and grabbing a few shirts. She then took enough jeans, shorts, leggings, sweatpants and underwear to last a week or two and threw them into the cases.

She eventually moves to Grayson's room, grabbing an armful of clothing from his drawers and filling the second suitcase. She didn't forget to pack a few of his toys or her laptop and any other small necessities. She quietly brings the luggage down the stairs and to her car.

Through the entire process, she didn't stop crying, her hands shaking and nose running.

Towards the end of it all, she changed into sweatpants and a sweatshirt before going for the last move of it all. Grayson.

She grabs his blanket from his own bed before lifting him into her arms bridal style, trying her best not to wake him.

When she puts him into his car seat, he stirs but doesn't wake up, fortunately for her.

Elaine climbs into the driver's seat and takes a deep breath, closing her eyes and running her hands down her face.

"What am I doing?" She whispers to herself. And then she remembers everything that had happened that night. "Giving him space, that's what I'm doing."

She pulls out her phone and goes to send Calum a message, keeping it short and blunt. A second after hitting the send button, she shuts her phone off and tosses it into the seat beside her and turns on the engine of the car.

She clears her mind the second she turns the corner of the street, their house getting farther with every push of the gas.

• • • •

He slides down to the floor with his back against the wall, a new sob rising in his throat. He clenches his eyes closed and throws his head back.

He reluctantly pulls out his phone, slowly opening his eyes and going to his messages, opening the app and going straight for Elaine's contact.

His eyes scroll through all of the texts he's sent her in the past six days. He apologized about thirty times and called over fifty, each of his calls being declined. He had even left voicemails, but all of them have gone unanswered. He went as far as calling her parents and friends, all of them claiming to not know where you are. Though the talk with her father hadn't been the most uplifting, reasonably.

Eventually, he reaches the last text message you sent, and all of the emotions he felt when first reading it coursed through his body once again.

• • • •

One Week Ago

Calum sat in a booth at the bar, physically there but not mentally.

"You alright?" Andy asked, crossing his arms and placing them on the table before them.

"Hm?" Calum turns to his friend.

"You're spacing. Everything okay?"

Calum let out a sigh, not sure whether to lie and brush off his troubles or burst like a damn. He eventually chooses to go with the latter.

"It's Elaine," Calum muttered. "I said some crap before coming here and I don't know why I said it."

"What'd you say?" Andy furrowed his eyebrows.

"Complete bullshit," he was detested with himself. "I implied... implied that marrying her was a mistake."

Andy's eyes widen as his lips parted in disbelief.

"Please tell me you're joking," Andy groaned.

"I'm such a fucking prick," Calum looked up and inhaled.

"What the fuck, Cal? Why would you say something like that? You're always going on about how she's the best thing that's happened to you since the band."

"I know," he murmured. "I just... I was in the wrong, but I was being stubborn. She just wanted me to spend some time with her and Gray and my head was too far up my ass."

"You can't do shit like that, man," Andy frowned. "You've got a beautiful loving wife and a healthy four-year-old boy. Do you know how lucky you are? Your wife adores you and your son looks up to you. Why would you want to dent that all just for a couple drinks with us?"

"I-I don't know. I was talking crap, I didn't mean anything. I fucking love Elaine and Grayson is my lifeline. I'd go crazy if I lost them."

"So then why are you here?"

"What?"

"Why are you here when you should be telling Elaine all of this?"

Calum bit the inside of his cheek just as his phone vibrated. He pulled it from his back pocket and glanced at the most recent text.

'I'll give you time to yourself, just like you want'

His mouth grew sour at the message from his wife. What did it mean? Was she being passive aggressive?

With a sharp breath, he stood up and took long strides out of the bar. He hurried into his car and forgot to put his seat belt on at first due to his wariness.

When he pulled into his driveway thirty minutes later, he began to panic at the absence of Elaine's car. It was nearly eleven at night. Where could she be? On a drive? She did that sometimes when she needed to clear her mind.

He ran a hand through his hair as he walked into his house, an aura of emptiness instantly embracing him.

He took the feeling of homeliness for granted, he realized, as he stood there with a hole in his heart. He trudged up the stairs and walked into his room, another cloud of discomfort enveloping his body. His eyes went for the dresser, two of Elaine's drawers slightly pulled out and looking less full than usual.

Calum furrows his eyebrows and walks to the drawers, inspecting the difference in them. Had she taken clothes out? Why would she-

His entire body froze as a heartbreaking scenario entered his thoughts. He didn't hesitate to rush to their shared closet, his stomach sinking even more at the sight of a few of her missing clothes that he was so sure was there earlier.

"No, no, shit," he hissed to himself before taking off to Grayson's room, where a few of his toys were missing and half of his wardrobe from his closet and dresser.

He feels as if someone's punched him in the gut, leaving him winded and in pain.

"Gray," he whimpered, slouching again the side of the doorway. "Elaine."

He somehow made his way back to his bedroom, his energy nonexistent and emotion running low. He didn't know what to think or how to think.

All he knew was that his wife and son weren't gone forever. They'd come back. And he'd be right there when they do.

• • • •

"I'm so sorry, Baby," he cried quietly into his phone. "I didn't mean any of it. You're my world, you're both my entire world. I don't want to live without you, I don't like being without you. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me and I knew it all along, I just didn't show it like I was supposed to. Please come back home. I don’t know what I was talking about," his voice cracks as more tears fall. "I love you, Angel. I love you so much, and I need you to know that."

When the voicemail goes through, he angrily throws his phone against the wall, heaving through his cries.

He spends the next hour sitting in that exact same position, doing nothing but staring at the wall in front of him.

“ I'd climb every mountain And swim every ocean Just to be with you And fix what I've broken ”

But then there was a jingle of keys.

His ears perked at the sound of the front door unlocking, a part of him believing that his beloved wife and son had returned. Then he realized that he had been getting his hopes up all week only to be let down when his sister walks in.

With a huff, he rises onto his wobbly legs and trudges for the stairs, looking downwards and to the front door.

He watches as it opens, his dull eyes widening when the one person he's been craving all week is revealed on the other side.

Elaine.

She stands with a suitcase by her side, and when the door is fully open, her eyes wander to the stairs and then up them, landing on Calum.

They both were in a frigid state of shock, neither of them moving or saying a word.

That was until Elaine thought that the silence was enough.

"I," she began before lightly gulping. "I got your messages... and voicemails."

He didn't know how to respond. It was as if his body had gone straight into shock and he wouldn't be able to move for a while.

Then Grayson entered the doorway, his eyes connecting with his father's and his face lighting up.

“ 'Cause I need you to see That you are the reason ” 

"Daddy!"

• • • •

First 5SOS imagine done! 

• • • •

Masterlist | Request Here

[tired-writer-in-progress]

*makes squiky noises in the locket to Kouhei*

"AH, DAH BLA BLAH-"

"Kouhei, stop making incoherent noises whenever you get scared."