#bl that won't hurt you

[absolutebl]

Top 10 Cozy BLs!

Our Dating Sim made me realize we have a new sub genre of BLs happening right now: the cozy BL. 

I decided to invent/identify/name this new BL category because... I can. I crowd sourced (here in the hellhole) opinions of how to define it and what should go on it. The collective brainstormed and elected the following qualifications: 

low angst 

low stakes 

high domesticity 

a central relationship that is more cute than anything else

extra points for found family

AKA BLs that make you feel happy and comfortable. 

These BLs leave you feeling warm and safe, like a hot water bottle. I will list them in order of my personal preference when in the mood for “cozy.”

1. Our Dating Sim 

(Korea, Viki) 

Did I create this list for this show? Yes I did. It defines this category. It is a very low stakes, high domesticity, extremely warm and gentle second chance at love office romance. 

This is a fuzzy blanket of a story that perfectly suited KBL’s short-length tendencies. The pacing is... muuuuuah... chef’s kiss. 

2. Seven Days 

(Japan, grey in 2 parts Seven Days: Monday - Thursday | Seven Days - Friday - Sunday) 

 Popular first year Seiryo has a policy of going out with any girl who asks… for one week. On a lark, third year Yuzuru tests to see if that policy also applies to boys. Seiryo agrees that it does. Along the way they accidentally fall in love. Possibly my favorite BL of all time. It’s very gentle with us and its characters while still having that Japanese emo edge to it. 

A master class in quite yet riveting cinema. 

What, you doubted me? OF COURSE it’s on the list

3. My School President

(Thailand, YouTube)

GMMTV gave us a classic high school set Thai BL with tropes like messy boys singing their feelings that made this one Love Sick for the modern age with all the gentle sweetness and pining ache, but none of the dated damaging tropes or issues. Yes, we’ve seen it all before, but I still ADORED this, and that’s partly what makes it so comforting. Who let my BL be this wholesome and funny? 

4. See You After Quarantine?

(Taiwan, Viki) 

Be you never expected lockdown to be comforting? This under appreciated gem is Taiwan’s answer to Gameboys and is just as charming and adorable yet still as quintessentially Taiwanese as one might hope. It features a Japanese love interest and the cutest most confused disaster gay. Slow burn because the two have almost no actual screen time together and yet manage some truly amazing chemistry plus sweetly caring and earnest. Honestly how does Taiwan do it?

5. Ingredients 

(Thailand, YouTube) 

At the time (during lockdown) many of us referred to this as our “emotional support grocery store advertisement.” If all you want is two soft boys being domestic, cooking together, cuddling on the couch, cat sitting, and babysitting - just put this on and be comfy.

6. What Did You Eat Yesterday?

(Japan, grey) 

Basically the grown up version of Ingredients. Emotionally repressed, grumpy, salary man shows his hair dresser husband his love by cooking amazing meals. That’s it, that’s the whole show. There some queer fam drama, and blood-fam coming out drama, but mostly is husbands cooking and eating together and it’s great. Is it BL? Not really. Do we care? Not really. 

7. The New Employee

(Korea, Viki) 

This one is queer comfort, explicitly. If you aren’t queer you might not find it as warm and engaging. A near pitch perfect office BL with conflict derived from that setting. Also featuring found family and a lesbian bestie. Sweet & innocent (and out) Seung Hyun scores the office internship of his dreams. On his first day at work he gets into it with his cool reserved (and also v gay) boss. 

As you do. 

But things get romantic pretty darn quickly. 

As you gay. 

8. En of Love: Tossera & Future the series

(Thailand, YouTube) 

Tossera = Younger boy wants to court older boy and does and… that’s it. No really that’s the WHOLE STORY. There is actually no angst, drama, or, indeed plot. But are they the softest bois ever to BL as a main couple? Yes, yes they are.

Future is... exactly the same thing. 

Are we mad about it? 

Nope. 

9. Oxygen 

(Thailand, YouTube) 

Softest seme in the universe sings his affection to the older boy at the cafe. Let the slow burn courting commence. Oxygen uses every BL trope in the playbook for one of the gentlest lowest angst BLs ever made. It’s a hyung romance (younger boy courts older boy) but very very earnest about it. Am I biased? Sure. This is probably one of my biggest comfort watches. 

10. Our Dining Table 

(Japan, Gaga)

Lonely salaryman and talented cook gets accidentally adopted by a college kid and his little brother. It’s a quiet cozy little parable of found family alleviating loneliness. Possibly too slow for some but definitely high up there for me with the best of what Japan can do (like Restart After Come Back Home), it’s only flaw (if I dare say such a thing) is that it is not really “romantic.” Lovely & sweet but the romance beats are being used to build a family relationship, not just couple intimacy, it’s OK with me, but not totally BL.

For me one of the hallmarks of cozy BL is that as a chronic rewatcher I find myself starting to rewatch these ones even as they are still airing. Oxygen was an icon of this (also my first watch-along and the reason I realized I really had a passion for BL)

Shorts

Summerdaze - Singapore & Korea, YouTube

The 8.2 Second Rule - Japan, YouTube 

A First Love Story - Korea, YouTube 

Some More - Korea, Gaga 

Quite a few other Strongberry offerings.

More like this?

Top 10 Most Romantic BLs for Valentine’s Day

Top 20 Softest Couples in BL

Top 10 Cutest BLs

Fluffy Sweet Soft Thai BL

10 BLs Best Enjoyed with Hot Tea & a Roaring Fire

MOAR RECS?

From the blog comments. If I agree I gave it a description. 

Boys Lockdown (YouTube) - actually on this list because it go so many votes by everyone else, I haven’t watched it. 

My Ride (GaGa) - Thai BL grew up with this pulp - a truly lovely and special little show featuring the extremely rare pairing of sunshine/sunshine AKA a cinnamon roll couple. Mature explorations of relationships using one of the softest, sweetest and most innocent friends to lovers vehicles. Kindly, overworked doctor meets broken-hearted motorcycle taxi driver in an “other side of the tracks” slow burn romance. The support cast is excellent, making for great friendship groups and family dynamics. With honest queer rep that adds to, but doesn’t impede the story, and genuine conversation about the nature of class, wealth, and classism, not to mention communication, honesty, and respect for boundaries, you can’t go wrong with this show. In other news, I am a sucker for a single dimple. Full review.

Takara-kun to Amagi-kun (Viki & Gaga) - yes, high school angst but so sweet about it. Review here.

2 Moons 3 Ambassador (grey) - I love this odd little pulp, it’s oddly satisfying for all it’s awkward cheese-fest. Maybe that is why I like it. Review here.

21 Days Theory (YouTube) 

About Youth (Gaga) - A truly lovely little coming of age high school BL with a classic YA low drama but high angst and an earnest depth. Full review here.

Ai no Kotodama (Gaga) 

Be Loved In House: I Do (Viki) 

Cherry Blossoms After Winter (Viki warning dub con) - it’s here because a lot of people (like me) love it, but there are objections. Review here.

Cherry Magic (Japan, indie subbed) AKA Doutei dato Mahoutsukai ni narerurashii - the sweetest, fluffiest, most charming bit of adorable ever, full of found family and pastry and serious slapstick, the characters are utter spazzes, but so cute about it. Still that aspect makes me a little tense so I don’t find it as cozy as others do.  

Craving You (Viki) 

Destiny Seeker (grey) - see 2 Moons Ambassador 

DNA Says Love You (Gaga) - particularly the last few episodes. 

La Cuisine (GaGa) - sweet and kind of pure show, and like Thai desserts perhaps requires too much patience for a layperson. Because of the pacing and the focus on the bad girl character, I did dock it. But if you like stuff in the Oxygen vein, then this show is for you, and far better than most Thai BL pulps. That said, I suspect that I enjoyed it more than many would. Full review. 

Meet Me Outside (Gaga) 

Meow Ears Up (Gaga) 

Mr. Heart (Viki) 

Mr. Unlucky has no Choice but to Kiss (Viki) 

Nitiman (Thailand YouTube) - This Thai BL pulp had sympathetic characters, a solid tsundere uke redemption arc, and a fantastic pining seme who yearned without bullying, grooming, or gaslighting. Plus when they were together, they were ridiculously soft. But it also had a realistic portrayal of university life, bisexual awakening, and friendship groups. Ending is okay but a victim of lockdown.

Old Fashion Cupcake (Viki) 

Ocean Likes Me (Viki) 

Roommates of 304 (Viki) 

Wish You (Korea - Netflix or Viki, you want the movie version) AKA Wish You: Your Melody in My Heart - low stakes high pining romance about a pianist who falls in love with a busker who is on his way to being the next big idol.

There was quite a lively discussion coming up with this list, since everyone defines cozy differently but I am not alone in my top 10 choices, these mostly got the most votes. 

(source)

[sweetvoidstuff]

See you later, sweetheart II Cha Hyun Su x Reader

Cha Hyun Su x Reader

Summary: In the aftermath of a battle, the dimly lit staircase is charged with tension as Hyun Su's monstrous side emerges, questioning your loyalty to Hyun Su. You stand your ground, earning an unexpected shift in the monster's demeanor.

the first part, kinda ~~~~~ the next part, kinda

Masterlist

~~~~~

The atmosphere in the dimly lit staircase is heavy with the aftermath of the battle, the air thick with the scent of adrenaline and the metallic tang of blood. Hyun Su's spear leans against the wall, and you glance over at him, catching the blackened eyes that signal the presence of his monstrous side. His usual gentleness is eclipsed by the emergence of this alter ego. A shiver runs down your spine, having seen his blackened eyes only in passing until now. As you approach cautiously, his monstrous self smirks.

"Well, look who decided to stick around," the monster purrs, a flirtatious edge to its voice. "He must be something special to you to endure the chaos that is Hyun Su."

Your response was swift, your tone firm and scolding. "He fought to protect me. You should appreciate that."

The monster chuckles, its demeanor still confident. "Oh, I do. But let's be real, sweetheart. You've been hanging around a weakling. Why stay?"

Your response is swift, defending Hyun Su with determination. "Hyun Su isn't weak. He cares. He helps wherever he can. He protects us."

Before you can continue, the monster raises an intrigued eyebrow. "You really believe that, huh? Weaklings like him need protection, and you seem more than willing to provide it."

Undeterred, you stand your ground. "He's worth it. I won't abandon him."

A smirk plays on the monster's lips as it issues a veiled threat. "You've got spirit, I'll give you that. But don't think I won't get rid of you if you become a problem."

With a step closer, you declare boldly, "Good luck with that. I'm not going anywhere."

Unexpectedly, the monster's demeanor shifts, and its smirk transforms into a full-on smile. "Well, well. Quite the brave one, aren't you? Looks like Hyun Su has found someone who won't break easily. Maybe you're not so bad after all."

As the tension eases, the monster steps even closer, closely watching your every expression. Your confusion is apparent, along with your sweet smell that reaches its heightened senses. The dismissive attitude begins to shift, replaced by an acknowledgment of your resilience and, perhaps, an unusual fondness.

Before you can say more, the monster straightens its back with a chuckle. "We will see." Hyun Su's body slumps forward, and you instinctively catch him. The blackened eyes revert to their normal dark brown, signaling the return of the Cha Hyun Su you knew.

Hyun Su blinks, his eyes slowly returning to their usual dark brown. A flicker of fear and confusion crosses his face as he finds himself in your arms, the intensity of the moment bringing a sense of vulnerability. His breathing is uneven, and he stammers, "I-I'm so sorry. I don't know what happened. Did I hurt you?"

You shake your head, a comforting smile on your lips as you reassure him, "No, you didn't hurt me. Your... other side just talked, that's all. But we should probably get out of here before another monster finds us."

Realizing that he is still in your arms, Hyun Su's cheeks flush with embarrassment. However, rather than stepping back, he instinctively holds onto you, pulling you into a more intimate embrace. "Sorry," he whispers, his voice soft and genuine, "I just thought he could have…" unable to finish his sentence.

Your heart skips a beat at the closeness, and you smile, placing a reassuring hand on his back. The two of you stand in the dimly lit staircase, finding solace in each other's arms. The tension begins to melt away as Hyun Su's uncertainty transforms into a shared understanding. "I'm not going anywhere."

He steps back slowly, creating some distance between you two, and nods in agreement, blushing. "Y-yeah, you're right. We should go."

The two of you carefully make your way down the staircase, navigating through the remnants of the battle. As you walk, Hyun Su can't help but steal glances at you, his gaze searching for any sign of discomfort or fear. You catch his eyes and offer a reassuring smile, silently affirming the bond that has deepened between you.

The air between you becomes charged with unspoken words, a mix of vulnerability and trust. As you reach the bottom of the staircase, you glance back, making sure no lurking monsters are ready to ambush you. The atmosphere is tense before you walk back to the others. Hyun Su, still wrestling with the fear that his monstrous side instilled, speaks hesitantly, "I never wanted you to see that side of me. It's... unpredictable and dangerous."

You turn to look at him, offering a warm smile. "Hyun Su, you're not a danger. Your other side, it's a part of you, but it didn't harm me. I trust you."

As the tension from the encounter began to dissipate, Hyun Su's steps became lighter, and he glanced at you with a newfound warmth. "Thank you," he whispered, his gratitude echoing through the empty halls.

With newfound determination, the two of you continued your journey, navigating the labyrinth of dangers that awaited. The bond between you and Hyun Su, tested by the shadows of his monstrous side, seemed to grow stronger as you faced the challenges together.

[wonderlandisatsomewhere]

It occurred to me that they do served portraying Peem as a warm, likable and grounded Character which I normally don't get this level in Thai bls.

Like he takes things seriously.

Which defly did something to Phum's attitude to the deal and their dynamic.

He forgives people for their sincere apologies.

He is a natural care giver who could assure someone like Phum with his abandonment issues.

He is attentive to people who he cares about.

Like when he keeps asking about Phum's odd behaviour.

He even feels bad for hurting other people even if he couldn't have prevented it from happening anyway.

And this,

Is confident in their own skin. We literally see him walking around the campus with a pigtail and a flip flop like it's nobody's business.

I am not sure if he is that radiating happiness kind of guy but can defly describe him as the logical and sensible friend of the group who you can seek comfort to when you needed it.

And most importantly he believes in the importance of talking things out which is the sole remedy for emotional constipation and maintaining healthy relationships.

I also love that he is not shy about physical touching or being open about his feelings and was really surprised that he is the one to say I love you first.

Not to forget about he takes no bullshit and will keep you in line,

A person like this will make you feel like nothing can go wrong being with them because they won't let the problem grow its roots deeper.

Not without his legendary slipper ofc.

In conclusion, Phum does found his better half. Damn boi hold onto him tight.

Wait he already did lol

Honourable mention: Push over Chain.

My guy barely survived that amusement park.

Jk, he just can't say no to Pun's genius plan his friends' wishes

We are the series (2024)

Phewww it took me 3 days to let it all out. But finally....

[lovelyladyabsinthewrites]

Can I request ACOTAR poly bats x mate reader? Who got killed if you don't write that the reader just got injured badly? Thank you!

Injury HC (ft. poly!mates Bat Boys)

While I love me some heavy angst, I just couldn't bring myself to kill off mate reader even if its just for a hc 😭😅

Warnings: lots of mentions of blood, wounded/dying!reader, polyamorous mates, injuries, healing, angst and fluff, ft. mor, ft. amren, ft. madja, ft. wraiths

woof where to begin

it would be damn near impossible for any of them to think rationally at the sight of blood coming from you, not their beloved who should only be full of smiles and laughter

bat boys become overbearing if you even get a papercut

But this. . . this was something else entirely.

So much blood that they feel sick from the rusty smell of it that permeated the air.

You looked so small and broken; Rhys has already come up with a thousand ways to kill whoever did this to you. You were their beautiful, proud, cunning mate.

The first one to make a move toward your body would be Rhysand. Always rational under pressure as Azriel and Cassian look around in case there was an ambush by the enemy. He feels sick to his stomach the entire time he's checking your vitals. When his fingers make contact with your blood soaked head, the sticky substance felt white hot. Rhysand could wash his hands millions of times and still feel that searing sting of your blood on his skin.

When they finally get you safely to Madja, you do manage to regain some consciousness, enough to reach out and grab Azriel's hand as everyone was leaving the operating room. Its difficult to move your lips to speak but you manage to plead for Azriel to stay. His shadows always soothed you.

There's no rest for Rhysand or Cassian unfortunately.

Despite Mor and Amren's best efforts, they can't drag your other two mates away from the door.

Rhysand being constantly updated by Azriel through his thoughts and shadows

Cassian tried not to let dark possibilities into his head. They banged against the door of his mind, loud and clear. If you died. . .

"She won't die." Rhysand would tell him sharply. He couldn't lose hope. But the steady smell of your blood that refused to lessen worried Rhysand greatly.

For Azriel, he was forced to stand there at your side as Madja did her best to put you back together. He refused to look away. There was absolutely nothing he could do to help.

He furiously clenches and unclenches his hands. Angry with himself for not being enough to protect you.

In the wee hours of the morning, Mor finds Rhysand and Cassian slumped together asleep. She put a blanket around them and takes a seat to join them in awaiting news. Amren soon follows suit once she has risen from bed by worry.

Finally, Azriel emerges into the waiting room.

Cass and Rhys leap from their seats

You're alive, although incredibly weak.

Madja had to bind and fix your bones while also trying to stop your bleeding. The most important thing was that you would live with some major scarring.

For the next several months, you acquired three overbearing nurses.

Not that you were complaining.

They only allowed Madja to tend to you and that was just during your checkups. Even the Wraiths' cooking was monitored by one of the bat boys.

Azriel and Rhysand had the tenderest hands when they changed your bandages or moved you around so you wouldn't get bed sores.

When you were well enough, Cassian would carry you to the outside garden so you could enjoy the warmth of the sun personally. You'd sit on his lap with your head resting on his chest. You liked listening to him talk as your ear was pressed close to his heart.

You had to tell them to shut up a few times because of how often they would apologize to you about letting you get hurt. It wasn't their fault, you'd argue to deaf ears. This was actually motivation for you. To remedy this and prevent getting hurt this badly ever again, you'd have to train more. Get stronger so your mates wouldn't blame themselves for you getting hurt in their absence.

Rhysand may be the only one who doesn't coddle you during any kind of physical therapy. He's one for tough love. Cassian too. Poor Az is utterly helpless.

Oh, you're out of breath? Let me carry you, sweetling. Rhys and Cass being too difficult? I'll give them a talking to.

Once fully healed thanks to your bat boys, you feel stronger and better than ever.

[theincognitomoth]

Wild Side

Pairing: Mr. Wolf x Fem!Reader (Stablished relationship)

Rating: 18+

Word Count: 5731

Warnings: Rough sex, mild language, bitting, scratch,ing knotting, praise kink, male!dom, fem!sub, first person POV.

Sinopsys: During a mission gone wrong, Mr. Wolf goes on a wild frenzy and ends up hurting his girlfriend. Out of guilt, he isolates himself in a dirty apartment, all the while his sweetheart is determined to prove he has nothing to feel Sorry for.

Since the Night Howlers' incident, Wolf refused to come out of his room. He also refused to let anyone else in, except for Snake, and he refused, above all else, to see me- And that stung far more than the bite mark shaped like his teeth in my forearm as I applied the flower scented infection cream.

Three months ago Diane came with a mission for us. It was simple at first: find a couple of missing citizens. But soon the conspiracy web spiraled so further down that mind controlled guinea pigs and a butt shaped meteorite sounded sane in the same sentence. 

Those people were targets of a cult- The Naturalists, they called themselves. They believed that the root of suffering came from the modern world. A normal group with this belief might have organized a hike or camping trip but, crazy bastards that they were, thought themselves justified to take people off the streets and inject them with a brain altering drug: The Night Howlers.

That cursed little purple capsule was the reason my boyfriend refused to see me, even after two weeks of the case closed.

During a chase he was shot with the substance. Even now my stomach ran cold when I remembered the look in his eyes- Desperate at first, and then feral mindlessness. He chased me prey, my heart pounded in my ears, all my blood going to my legs telling me to run, run, run. It was still a blurry memory, the way his fangs buried on my skin. It was sheer luck that saved me that day, and I dreaded imagining the other outcome. But whatever horrors my mind came up with, I knew Wolf's was much worse, leaving him to rot in his little den of misery. 

With a heavy sigh, I put on my clothes and marched out of the apartment, standing in front of Wolf's door yet again.

“Moe?” I knocked and waited for a response that never came.

This everlasting silence would drive me mad.

“I know you can't- won't see me right now, but could you at least say something so I know you're not dead and rotting on the other side of that damn door?” 

My words were harsh, I knew, and the corridor echoes made sure to slap me in the face with them. For his sake I kept those words in. I knew he was suffering, I tried to be patient, but the sting with each day of deathly silence left a bitter taste in my mouth and I had to let it out before it made me sick.

“I'm getting tired of this- I know you feel bad for what happened, but I swear, I'd rather get bitten again than for you to play dead. Please…”

I was certain my plea would fall on deaf ears until the door locks creaked. My heart was beating in my ears like drums, my eyes burnt from not blinking. The door opened to reveal a dark room, cold and smelling like an old pantry. Snake stood on the other side, looking at me with a frown deeper than normal. He was much better at hiding  his worry than me. 

“Go easy on him,” He said, slipping out of the door and holding it open.

“Is it too bad?” I whispered.

“Would be easier if he wasn't such a drama queen.” 

I forced out a chuckle.

“Thanks.”

“Don't mention it, just… Get him out of that damn apartment.”

A difficult mission, one I didn't know if I was up to, yet had to grab this precious small chance.

I walked into Wolf's apartment and closed the door behind me.

Some people prefer winter nights over nice summer days, but the state of his apartment was absurd. I adjusted my sleeves to cover my hands as the AC turned a city apart into a tundra, its blue glowing numbers being the only light source letting me see broad shapes. Wolf sat in the corner of the couch, wrapped around an old blanket with his face hidden in it. How much time did he spent day after day like this?

One of many food packages scrunching under my foot as I made my way towards him. His ears perked up for a second before laying flat against his head again.

“Moe…” He flinched.

I sat on the couch, arms length from him.

“Can you look at me?” The knots in my chest tightened further as the seconds stretched without a response. “... I miss you.”

Finally, thank Heavens, finally he looked up at me, those big sad eyes resembling an abandoned puppy. He stared for a short while, before sifting his focus to my forearm, covered by the long sleeve.

“Does it still hurt?” He asked, voice quiet.

“No.”

“Did you get an infection?”

“I didn't.”

“Scar?” 

“None.”

“Good.” He let out a shaky breath. “I've missed you too.”

There was a glimmer of the ‘him’ from before the incident when he smiled at me- My old Moe. But I blinked and it was gone. I reached for his hands into the blanket cocoon, but he winched away, covering it up with a chuckle.

“I haven't trimmed my claws in a while.”

“Since when do you trim them?”

“I- uh, started recently.”

“Moe…”

He shook his head, leaning further away from me with a frown.

“Stop. Stop looking at me like that.”

“Like what?”

He struggled to find words. I knew that angry look, but it wasn't aimed at anyone.

“Like you're the one who hurt me and not the other way around.”

When he stood up, so did I, keeping a distance as I followed him to the kitchen, littered with full trash bags that didn’t smell, for they were full of plastic packages and cans instead of real food.

“Come on, it wasn't your fault.”

“Yeah, there are blood stains on my shirt that say otherwise.”

He grabbed a kettle and put it on the stove to boil and took one cup of instant noodles from the almost empty cabinet. Shrimp flavored, Moe's least favorite.

“You weren't in control, they shot you with a Night Howler.”

“And I went after you instead of the cultist, how do you explain that?”

Over the weeks, that question plagued me too and I came up with a few theories. Maybe he chose to chase something that smelled familiar, or his animal brain saw me as easier prey, since the cultist was bigger. Whichever reason, not a part of me believed he acted from malice.

“Look, you don't need to try and justify or rationalize what happened there. I don't blame you one bit.”

“You should.” He spoke through gritted teeth.

I tried to remain level headed, but I didn't know what else to say to make him see reason.

“Why? Why the hell are you so angry with yourself when it was the crazy cultist that drugged you?”

“Because I liked it!”

The kettle whistle was the only sound in the room as I was left speechless, mouth agape and dry. I only realized how tense my shoulders were when they dropped heavy on my sides.

“...What?”

Wolf let out a deep sigh, turning off the stove and leaning against the counter. He wasn't looking at me.

“I liked it- not hurting you, not ever. But when that guy shot me with the Night Howler…” He rubbed the spot on his neck where the drug hit him. “It was like- like I had been wearing a tie squeezing my neck the whole time and the Night Howler cut it loose.”

His eyes sparkled with something familiar, that same shine from when he went through a heist plan or talked about a new driving maneuver he pulled. But as soon as that spark came, he met my eyes and it was gone.

“You can't be serious,” I shook my head. “Did you actually buy into that naturalist looney's idea?”

“It's not- look, I'm not saying I want to run around like a rabies crazed dog.”

“I sure hope so.”

It wasn’t the answer he hoped for, I knew, but it wasn’t what I expected him to say either. Something about those eyes begged for me to understand. For all that it’s worth it, I tried.

Wolf took a moment, pouring the hot water on his noodles.

“Wish I could explain it better. I haven't been able to sleep right after what I did to you, but at the same time, when I close my eyes and remember the way it felt to run around without a thought in my head, it was… free, and real and…”

“Wild?” 

He opened the lid of his instant noodles with a small chuckle, poking at the shrimp pieces with a plastic fork.

“Yeah, wild.” He took a sniff of the thing, face twisting in disgust, then put it down on the sink. 

Silence weighed on the apartment while I tried to make sense of his words. The way he spoke wasn't much different from those cultists and I couldn't use the excuse of indoctrination on him. The great leaders didn't talk Moe into buying their idea, he felt it on his skin, so much so that even the bite incident didn't stop him from missing that brief moment of brain off wildness.

Maybe the naturalists weren't so off. 

“Would you do it again?”

“The night howler? Nah, too risky.”

“But you miss the feeling.”

It wasn't a question, and the way he lowered his ears showed he knew it. I tried to relate in a way, imagining what it would be like if I could never again eat my favorite food, run in the rain or go downhill on a bike. What would be like if I had a snippet of the highest high of my life only to know I could never experience it again? What would it be like if I had a tie squeezing around my neck, only loose enough to suck in shallow breaths?

Miserable, that's what it would be like.

“Moe…” My heels clicked on the silent apartment as I approached and touched his shoulder. “I can't in my right mind say you should do drugs,” I said with a straight face and he chuckled. “But I don't want you to feel like you're suffocated either. Maybe we can find a middle ground, loosening the tie without ripping it off.”

His ears perked up a little and he looked at me with those puppy eyes that got my heart in a claw-like grip.

“Really? After what I did, would you still want to help?”

“Of course I do. What happened wasn't your fault, and I don't want you to feel suffocated.” I reached for the fluff on his cheek and Moe leaned against my hand. “I love you.”

I barely finished my sentence and his arms wrapped around me, squeezing my waist, firm and gentle, even if I wouldn’t mind having the air squeezed out of me. His head rested against my shoulder and his tail wagged fast.

“I love you too, sweetheart.”

The familiar weight of his head on my shoulder melted the tension I walked with for the past weeks. I missed the way his fur tickled my cheek and the way his tail brushed against my legs. If helping him tap into a semi-wild state was what it took to keep this, then becoming a goddamn adrenaline chaser suddenly climbed its way up my list of priorities.

Minutes passed in our much needed embrace before I gathered the willpower to pull away, earning a small whine from him.

“Okay, Moe. If I'm going to help you, we are doing this right.” I walked up to his fridge where a little white board with a couple of markers was glued to the door and picked the red one, writing ‘Mr. Wolf's wild list’ on the top. “Let's start with the ideas.”

Wolf crossed his arms and leaned against the counter with a smirk.

“Not wasting any time, I see.”

“The sooner we figure out what can help you, the sooner we can implement it. So come on, ideas.”

He closed his eyes with a hum, scratching his chin.

“Pulling out a stunt with the car always gets me going.”

“Dangerous driving, then?”

“It's only dangerous if you don't know what you're doing, sweetheart.”

I stared at him, unamused for a good three seconds before sighing.

“Fine.” Against better judgment, I wrote ‘crazy driving’ on the board. “But only on empty roads.”

“Fair enough.”

“What about hiking? It's in nature.”

“Eh, I don't know. Not really a nature guy myself.”

“Really, Moe? No nature in the wild list?”

Wolf chuckled, shaking his head.

“Well, when you put it like that… Maybe I can give running around the mud and get eaten by mosquitos a go.”

“What a lovely way to put it, babe.” I wrote 'touching grass’ on the list with a green marker, drawing a little mosquito beside it.

“Okay, what else?”

Doodling a couple of stars, I waited for new ideas. When he told me nothing for a good thirty seconds, I turned my full attention to him; his tail wagged a little bit, but hung low, the clawed finger tapped against the counter in steady clicks.

 “What is it?”

“Nothing.”

“Come on, I know the room is pretty dark but I'm not blind.” I placed my hands over his bouncing leg and tapping finger, the movement stopping. “You can tell me.”

He took his sweet time with it, eyes running through the corners of the room and looking away after the split moments he met mine.

“Promise you won't get mad.”

“Okay… I won't get mad.”

“And promise you'll say no if you're not absolute, one hundred percent sure of it.”

“You’re making it sound like you want to commit a crime.”

“Not far off my alley. But no, it's not a crime, it's… Not gonna lie, it's pretty damn embarrassing.”

Embarrassing. This was the man who played the suave thief like second nature, so when he looked at me like a punny teenager about to ask the cheerleader to the dance, scared of my rejection, what else could I do other than swoon?

“I never knew you had shame buried under that white suit of yours.”

I waited for his smart little remark so I could answer with a comeback heating up on the tip of my tongue. It felt nice, familiar, our back and forth.

“Yeah, that's what you do to me.”

My witty come answer turned to ash in my mouth, leaving my tongue heavy; And while my head scrambled for coherence and my knees for composure, Wolf chuckled and put his hands on my hips,thumbs running up and down sending a wave up my back and making my hairs prickle.

“I want you,” He whispered. “When you walked in, your smell almost made me forget why I hid away to begin with.”

The Moe I knew was a flirt, yes, but in a way which felt like he practiced his lines in front of a mirror. A great actor, no doubt, but still an actor. This was different, it was raw. He spoke without a filter and it made my back arch. I squeezed his shoulder, crumpling the fabric of his messy shirt.

“I want you too,” I leaned closer, breath fanning over the little furs on his muzzle. “I missed you, Moe. I missed you way too much.”

Harsher than what I was used to, his hands squeezed the flesh of my hips, and I could feel the tip of his sharp claws through my jeans.

“Sweetheart, I need you to be real with me now and only say yes if you really mean it.” A gentle hand tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. “I want you to be part of my little list.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean that I want to try something different, a little more… loose.”

The only thing stopping the heat that ran up my spine from getting to my head was the ever present suspicion.

“Loose?”

“Yeah, you said I should loosen the tie,” His grip on my waist tightened and he pulled me close enough to feel his hot breath brushing my nose. “And I want to loosen it with you.”

Little impressions I had from the time we spent entangled in the sheets suddenly became much clearer. The way he held me by the waist, kissed me, touched me- Aside from being fantastic and melting the tension from every muscle, left me with this itch in the back of my mind. Be it a scowl on his brow or hands that squeezed me too tight just to let go two seconds after, what he did to me never felt complete. Now I had the confirmation to my suspicions: He held back every time.

Morbid curiosity allied with the growing fire in my stomach, making me wonder how much I could take if he didn't.

“I want to try that out too.”

“Really?” His smile widened and he gave my hips a small squeeze. “It's not just because of me, right? Because if it is-”

I cut his rambling by the root with a peck to the lips.

“I'm a big girl, Moe. I know what I want and I mean what I'm saying. And what I want is for you to take off that leash and burn it-”

In a blink, he had me on top of the balcony, body pressed flushed together as he invaded my mouth in a kiss that left me light headed.

He took his lips away from mine and before I fully made sense of what was happening, began kissing my neck.

“Just tell me to stop and I will,” he said between little kisses and small nibbles. “And if I hurt you, punch me in the throat.”

“Hm, yeah, I can… I can manage that.” 

Pushing words out became quite the task when he was making me gasp and sending  shivers through my nerves. I held onto his head, looking down as he worked his magic on my skin, tucking my shirt's collar down to give the same treatment as my neck. While Wolf busied himself with that, I wrapped my legs around his waist, feeling a hardening volume against my inner thigh.

“Already?” I smiled, scratching behind his ear.

“Hm, just missed you so much.”

His hands moved from my hips to my thighs, squeezing them like stress toys while leaving an open mouth kiss on my cleavage. I tugged at his head, and when a breathy moan left my lips, he growled against my skin.

“How much do you like this shirt?”

The sudden question snapped my attention back to him. He looked at my long sleeve shirt as if it was his worst enemy.

“What?”

He squeezed my thighs a little harder, claws poking my flesh.

“The shirt. Is it a favorite of yours?” 

“Why- no, not really.”

“Good.”

The fire that ran through my blood when he tore up the shirt with his teeth and claws was enough to make my face melt off. My mouth hung open with no words uttered as he kissed between my breasts, before pulling away to stare at my lace bra.

“Hm… Not this one.” Much gentler, nimble fingers unclasped the hooks behind me, letting the bra slide through my shoulders while he looked me in the eye with a cheeky grin. “This one I like.”

“...I'll keep that in mind.”

“But I like these even more.”

His attention focused on my breasts. He took one in his hand and kneaded it gently, before making me groan with a harsh squeeze. His grip loosened the same moment and he kissed the finger prints on my skin.

“Too much?”

“No, no, just a little sensitive. It’s been a while.”

“It sure has,” Another gentle kiss traced the reddish marks, trailing up to my pulse. “We can do it the nicer way, you know.”

There he went, offering me an out again when my desires were set in forgetting all restraint. In response my eager hands worked around his shirt, soft fabric hiding even softer fur beneath it. Maybe I was the wild animal between us.

The rumbling of his laugh vibrated against my neck.

“Or not.”

His hands returned to my tender breasts, previous gentleness gone as he squeezed one while feeling the other’s weight in his palm. The pain didn’t phase me. Sure, there was a sharp moment of agony, but in less than a second it became laced with strange pleasure, before fully dissolving into it, like a cold shower after a full day walking in the sun. 

My own hands stayed occupied, tracing my fingers over his spine, glazing my nails against his skin, and fully sunk into him when Moe took one of my nipples into his mouth, threatening to bite it down. He didn’t, I knew he wouldn’t go that far, but the possibility was enough to get me shivering.

He nibbled, sucked and played with my hardened buds until I was pulling at the hairs on his neck with enough strength to rip them, and by the end even the breeze from the air conditioner made me whine. He moved back a little, a gleam of smugness in his eyes as he looked over his work of turning my flesh into a personal canvas with purple and red marks. Those eyes that never looked more dangerous met mine and I almost came undone right then and here.

“Awn sweetheart, you’re crying?”

Overwhelmed tears stung my eyes, my entire body, especially my face, feverish.

“N-No. I’m tearing up, it’s different.”

“Well, un-lucky for you, you’re way too pretty like this.” He held my chin a little too forceful, making me stare at the predatory gaze of his. “Now I wonder what’s like if I do make you cry.”

My gasp got cut short when Wolf threw me over his shoulder like a fat shack of dollar bills and walked towards his bedroom, making me yelp when he squeezed my butt followed by a less than gentle bite.

I tried to look at his face while balancing myself.

“When did you get this strong?” 

“Always have been, just needed the right motivation.”

The bedroom was as dark as the rest of the apartment, his familiar scent all around when he threw me in the bed, right in the center of a nest-like pile of blankets and kissing down my lips.

“Comfortable?”

“Yeah, I could fall asleep right now.”

He let out a breathy chuckle, one finger pulling my pants.

“You can try, don’t think you’ll be able to. But if you get close to falling asleep…” With a swift movement, he lowered my pants to my thighs. “I’ll just have to get you on the edge again.” He slid my pants down all the way and kissed under my belly button. “...And again…” His lips stopped at the hem of my panties, fingers coming up to touch the soaked spot between my legs. “... And again.”

Threat or promise, he already left unable to catch my breath. My watery eyes admired the sight as much as the blurriness allowed it, my hips buckling against his fingers while the bastard grinned.

“Hell, Moe. You want me to beg?”

“I wasn’t thinking about it, but now that you offered…”

Leaning back on the pillows with one arm over my face, I groaned.

“You’re such a jerk.”

“Hey, don’t be mad. I’m just messing with ya, beautiful.” 

“Oh, aren’t you a jokester? This is torture-”

A jolt went up my spine when he dragged his fingers along my slick, teasing me through the panties’ fabric. Wolf’s breath hovered over my over sensitive clit before he gave it the much needed attention with an open mouth kiss that if on the lips would leave anyone drenched. I held myself back from locking his head with my legs when he moved away to slice my panties off, my fully nude form barely affected by the cold room because of how he made me burn.

Moe kissed me, the softer and passionate approach meeting the pace of his fingers teasing my entrance and smearing my clit with my own wetness. For a moment he got me thinking he had given up on our little experiment, but horny little me simply walked into a trap, only noticing when he grabbed my hips and flipped me into my stomach. I tried to use my elbows for support, but Moe pushed me back down and lifted my hips, leaning over my body, pressing himself flushed against me and whispering.

“You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to have you like this, bent over letting me see everything. And you look so pretty. Always so, so pretty for me, sweetheart.” 

His husky whisper tickled the back of my ear and I couldn’t blame myself from the moan he dragged out of me. I needed him now, before this drove me to wild madness. And maybe that’s what Wolf was trying to do- To turn me into a crazed and unleashed beast. By the way I pressed myself against him, without a single rational thought, he more than succeeded.

“Just fuck me,” I demanded.

Growling, he dug his hands into my hips, grinding the rock hard cock against me, staining his pants with my slick.

“Last chance to back down.” The sound of his voice was followed by the unzipping of his pants.

“I think I’ll combust if I do.”

Wolf chuckled, one of his hands spreading my lips for him while the other guided his thick length to my entrance and made me gasp and grab at the sheets. It took a total of three slower thrusts before he picked up a crushing, brain melting pace and made me forget the time of the day, the place and my name. He held me by the back of the neck, and by the stings of pain coming from my back and shoulder, I could guess how many marks I would have by the end of this- and God, I didn’t care. If anything, it ripped more unrestrained whimpers and cries from my throat.

“You sound almost as amazing as you feel,” he said, voice breathless against the back of my ear, his arms wrapping around my waist and holding me like a vice. “Damn, sweetheart, so pretty, so good for me, my good girl.”

“N-Not fair, that’s my- Oh, God!- that’s my line.”

The unforgiving pace grew even more savage, cutting out my moans with each thrust.

“But you like it too, don’t you? Screaming so much my ears are ringing.”

“Sorry-”

“Don’t be.”

Although he reached so, so fucking deep into me, that wasn’t the end of it. No, not with Moe like this, not with the swollen base as a delicious reminder, slapping against me everytime he moved.

His groans grew more fanatic, he barely pulled out, rutting against me right before his knot slipped inside in a stretch that might be painful if I wasn’t soaking wet.

Hissing, Moe held me flushed against his chest and my hands held onto his forearms for any semblance of structure. He could only rut against my heat and I could only moan at the over stimulation, so close from being a mess in his arms.

“Mine,” He groaned, nibbling my ear. “My perfect girl, taking me so well.”

“M-Moe…” My body twitched, tears rolled down my eyes into the sweat stained sheets. 

Wolf licked a red mark on the crook of my neck.

“Hm, I knew you would look even more beautiful crying for me.” His voice came out in huff and puffs of hot air on my already burning skin. His rutting became relentless, the tip of his cock bullying my cervix, trying to invade everything, tear me apart, merge into me, and by God, I would let him.

It didn’t take long for me to feel the familiar euphoria rush through my veins and tie knots- how ironic- around my stomach. Barely mustering the strength to moan and cry, pitiful wails echoed back to me, and my unleashed lover didn’t trail much better, his own voice hoarse and desperate.

My climax didn’t knock at the door- no, no, no, it came bursting through it, making a mess and all around as I clawed at Wolf’s forearms like a beast and was left shaking and gasping for air amidst low whines. He kept his pace, mindlessly chasing his own high, making my overstimulation all the more wrecking.

Two more minutes of harsh slapping sounds went by before the sights of his orgasm finally appeared to relieve my shaking body. Claws dug in my hips with a possessive grip, his jaw was so tense I could hear the sharp teeth grind against each other and for a moment it seemed he wanted to merge into me before his grip loosed and I felt the familiar warmth floating my walls and leaving no empty creeks.

Fast movements died down, his head resting on my shoulder followed by a heavy and content sigh .I could finally catch my breath.

“Are you okay?” Wolf asked, kissing the marking on the back of my neck.

In my head I answered ‘yes, fantastic’, but babbles left my mouth instead of words- At least he found it funny. 

Gently, he flipped me on my back and laid me down, kissing my temple and pulling my putty self closer.

“Fantastic as always, sweetheart. I didn’t think you could get any better and you still impressed me.”

I met his eyes, a smile playing on my lips. His fur never looked more messy, inviting me to pet and try to even it out. I did so, and Moe leaned against my hand, but that sweet, blissed out smile died the moment he laid eyes on the bite mark on my forearm. My heart squeezed for him as he took my arm like it was made of glass and stared at the red teeth scars.

“Moe, it’s not-” 

“I know.” He kissed the bite mark, lips lighter than butterfly wings. “But I’m still so sorry. Even after this, you’re still doing so much for me, I don’t know how to make it up to you.”

My hand scratched behind his flat ear.

“Well, if you’re so keen about it, I would love it if you finally got out of the apartment.”

He scoffed, but I kept going.

“I’m serious. I know you feel guilty, but locking yourself up as if you committed a crime is not doing any good to anyone. Hell, if I was the one who went crazy and bit you, it wouldn’t be an issue. You might even be laughing about it.”

Proving my point, he let out a breathy chuckle.

“See?” Despite the wobbly limbs, I shifted on the bed, bringing his head to my chest and placing one leg over his waist. “You’re not bad, Wolf.”

Hesitant hands moved up my back, holding me closer, and my worries were eased once I heard his tail wagging against the bed.

“Thank you, I guess you’re right.”

“Of course I’m right.”

“Yeah, yeah, sorry. Of course you’re right.” He nuzzled my neck and I could feel his smile. “And you’re right about leaving the apartment too. My nose is starting to itch and I would rather eat cardboard than those shrimp flavored noodles again.” 

“How about we go for a walk and get a salad after?”

He looked at me like a little kid who got told no at the toy store.

“Fine, a walk and ice cream. But after that we're deep cleaning this place.”

“Hmm, yes. You’re definitely too good for me.”

Wagging his tail, he leaned in and kissed the purple bruise on my neck. I knew his self blame wasn’t gone, hope as I might, it might never fully be, but we would take it one step at a time. And besides, exploring this new, unrestrained side of him- of us- wasn’t bad at all.

TAGLIST: @freeholeformuzan @xxladysquishyxx

[the-bloody-sadist]

in case no one else has asked, please list your top 10 BL manga/manwha? 👀

i am. very interested in what other media you enjoy, especially BL

Combining these two bc I didn't wanna leave the second out!

(I wasn't a big fan of Blood Bank personally but I'm so glad it helped you with your world building Lil Whale!!)

I'm hoping some of these are unheard of for you guys because THERE ARE SO MANY BL/YAOI AND I READ THEM CONSTANTLY BUT NOT SO MANY ARE FANTASTIC AND MIND-BLOWING AND SPECTACULAR AND DEEPLY PSYCHOLOGICAL! I'm pretty sure I'll end up listing WAY more than 10, mainly because I want to highlight ones I feel like a lot of people haven't read. ALSO because I read so fucking many of them that I've collected a stash and NOW IS MY CHANCE TO YELL ABOUT THEM.

Just a disclaimer, these are not in any sort of order, as they're all about the same level in my head, just grouped. I'll list the "big name" BLs that I adore after these! First up are the ones that either have a quiet fandom or aren't well known! Since there'll be so many, I'm not going to say much about them, just know that usually no BL/Yaoi is perfect to me, since there are many bad psychology tropes here and there or unnecessary cruelties that aren't exactly realistic etc., but overall, I like the way that the story and characters are handled and/or love the art.

Here's the top five of my top ten that's not a top ten bc there are so many (I just said I wouldn't group them but I lied my ass off apparently):

Jealousy [Scarlet Beriko]: This is one of those that emotionally hits so hard that it will stick with me forever and I will usually tear up just a tiny bit when I think back to the moments that made this one so beautiful. A lot of times a story with major hurt, angst, and tragedy won't wrap up with enough to make me scream and cheer at the end. But THIS ONE DID. And I stopped reading for a while when a big event happened because I thought it would end horribly and I'd have to suffer three weeks of fiction-induced depression for a man who wasn't even real. BUT NAY. The themes you get in this one revolve around loneliness (huge draw for me, it always hits), mafia-connected characters and the rivalries from that, self-destructive prostitution, and characters who have difficulty receiving love without freaking out. Are those even themes idk. OH WELL. YOU GET THE POINT. I want this one on my shelf. You might've heard of it, but the fandom is silent so I never did. T_T OH ALSO THE ART ON THIS ONE IS GORGEOUS I FUCKING LOVE IT.

Hitori to Hitori no 3650nichi [Hitomi]: First of all, favorite manga artist. FAVORITE MANGA ARTIST. I'm never exactly sure if the artist is also the writer or if the writer is never the artist or...BUT IT DOESN'T MATTER. Anyway! I listed this particular title because it was the first that I found by this person - but then I discovered it was a part of a bigger series, and there are like I DON'T KNOW FIVE DIFFERENT MANGA?? OR SOMETHING??? Related to this one. I don't know which order, I just know that I read them all in a frenzy. THE CHARACTERS. OH! OH THE CHARACTERS! Oh my gods, it's so good. LMFAO. The arcs these characters have are fantastic, and I loved the fact that the abuser in one is shown to be the victim of abuse in a prequel story, and that his anger issues and other elements of his personality came about to affect him and destroy him. Just...I don't recall the details, READ IT. That's all. Spectacular depictions of nuanced trauma within abusive relationships.

The Beast Must Die [Lee Hyeon Sook]: This remains one of my favorite depictions IN ANY MEDIA of a psychopath, because it's SO accurate and I'm SO fucking proud of the author for doing their research and OH MY GODS YOU GUYS IT'S ABOUT TO GET A DRAMA CD LET'S FUCKING GO! This story is so good. It's so evil. It's so psycho-thriller. It's so WELL DONE. It features a dark academia-ish secret society within a college setting who hunt people for sport, sometimes. LIKE. Come on. And the psychopath (dark hair) IS THE MAIN LOVE INTEREST! You could literally hear the summary and go "oh this is for Sadist". And I don't get a lot of those that deliver this well. SOMETIMES the art makes me twist my head a little but YOU KNOW WHAT I DO NOT CARE OKAY? It's just SO good. There's murder, there's kidnapping, and - most importantly - a main character who doesn't just DEAL with whatever the psychopath does. He's smart, he fights back, he learns to understand psychopathy to determine if he should remain with the love interest...it's fantastic. That's all. I will stop. *BANGS THE WALL*

Aporia [Seontae]: ALL HAIL THE HEALTHY BDSM RELATIONSHIPS THAT STILL HOLD TENSION AND EMOTIONAL WEIGHT AND SPEAK TO ME!!!!!!! HELLO!!!!! This is my favorite BDSM-themed story. Everything is consensual, but is everything safe??? Not when it comes to the main character's emotions and tendency to sacrifice his wellbeing for a partner. BUT NOT TO WORRY, HIS SADISTIC LOVE INTEREST IS CONSIDERATE AND ATTENTIVE AND CARES ABOUT HIS FEELINGS!! This is, perhaps, one of my favorite depictions of a REAL sadist. A real one as in a realistic, irl BDSM-relationship sadist. Someone who is just as worried about taking care of his partner as he is about hurting him JUUUUST right. ANYWAY! THAT'S ALL! READ IT! HE'S LITERALLY ME!

Royal Servant [MasterGin, Chungnyun]: Okay, we were talking about healthy BDSM in the previous one, now let's talk about TOXIC BDSM-THEMES THAT I LOVE. Lmao. DO YOU LIKE MASTER/SLAVE DYNAMICS? DO YOU LIKE STORIES WHERE THE ARC LEADS TO THE ABUSIVE MASTER EVENTUALLY LEARNING TO NOT BE ABUSIVE AND LOVE THE SLAVE? YEAH ME TOO. I DON'T NEED TO DESCRIBE THIS ANY FURTHER. AUTHOR OF ANGEL BUDDY, THIS IS THE ONE THAT I KNEW HER FOR FIRST.

A bunch of other good ones you may or may not have heard of (I won't describe every one of these unless I have something particular to say, so enjoy the pictures from them that I snatched):

Love me in the Wilderness [Wang Tao]

Neon Sign Amber [Ogeretsu Tanaka]

Zetsubou ni Nake [Shinou Ryo]: Guys. This story is UNIQUE AS HELL. I had to say something about it. The premise is that a man who was raped turns around and goes back after his rapist and rapes him back, and then they fall in love. IT'S....the amount of times my jaw dropped was insane on this one. SOMEHOW IT'S WRITTEN SO WELL. SOMEHOW THEY NAILED THE STRANGE REALISM OF IT AND HAD ME TEARING UP OVER THE INTENSITY OF THE RAPE SCENES. VERY WELL-PACED, VERY TRAUMATIC IN A GOOD WAY. HIGHLY RECOMMEND. The way they come to love each other after this crazy foundation of mutual rape is IMPRESSIVE. Kudos to the writer.

Love or Hate [Yeongha]: This is a very well-known one but there's like zero fandom so I think it fits here. Also a lot of hate going around for it? Which I never understood, fuck those guys. This remains one of the most beautifully-written that I've ever read, and I mean that purely in like...the ACTUAL writing on the page. I'm talking poetry, purple prose. I just recall being blown away by that, and no manga before or since has ever reached its level. For once I felt like the writer was also a novelist because of the way that they put things, and had a clear voice in the style. Did the main boy end up with someone I didn't want him to end up with at the end? Yes. But I felt like it fit pretty well, and it was sort of a tragedy, and it was supposed to hit you painfully in the gut. A lot of people were mad at the main character for that and I don't really think it's fair. In any case! A beautiful story with complex characters and intriguing dilemmas. Highly recommend it.

Shangri La no Tori (Birds of Shangri La) [Ranmaru Zariya]

Two in Six Billion [Denzou]

The Pizza Delivery Man and The Gold Palace [Upi]: Great story and character-building so far! I will say that once it became porn, it dove a little too heavily into it for me. Like I only needed one scene of the porn, I was enjoying the panic attack scenes much more. BUT YEAH, IT'S ONGOING, SO WE'LL SEE WHERE IT GOES! But the panic attack scenes were the reason I read it and yes, I did tear up.

Sleeping Dead and Living Dead [Asada Nemui]: I RECENTLY FOUND THIS ONE AND ADOOOOOOREEE IT SO MUCH. I DO NOT CARE THAT IT'S AN OLD SCIENTIST AND HIS ZOMBIE PATIENT. NORMALLY THAT WOULD HOLD NO SWAY OVER ME, BUT OH GODS, THE ART IS SO PRETTY AND THE STORY IS SO GOOD. I LOVE THE LITTLE ZOMBIE MAN! I LOVE THE LITTLE ROMANCE THEY'VE GOT!

Private Lessons [ANCO, Mongya]: It's cuuuuute what can I saayyyyy it has BDSM and threesomes and I liked it. Very entertaining. Scratches the BDSM itch and the little SUB WAS SO CUTE. Anyway.

Kingyo no Ubugoe [Gontaku Nido]

From Points of Three [White Eared]: Threesome dynamics!!

Silent Lover [Qiang Tang, Bai Li Jun Xi]: I STOPPED THIS ONE AT A CERTAIN POINT BECAUSE IT DIPPED INTO WEIRD M-PREG AND STUFF I CANNOT READ. But BEFORE all that, I was deeply ingrained in this one. It has a main character who can't speak (a particular weakness of mine) and he's OH SO CUTE and he's given as a sex slave basically to the emperor (emperor? idk he's a kingly man, something like that), and the emperor is evil but learns to be soft and yet it takes a LONG TIME SO I WAS BAWLING HYSTERICALLY OVER SOME OF THE HEARTWRENCHINGLY PAINFUL SCENES IN THIS FOR THE POOR YUU-ER. A good read until it decided to go the omegaverse-by-magic-potions route. I didn't stay to figure out where it actually ended up.

Yoru wa Tomodachi [Ido Gihou]

Toumei na Ai no Utsuwa [Hitomi]

Re:Birth [Misuaki Asou]: The singular omegaverse story in existence that I actually liked. Hopefully that says a lot. Mostly because it's about the omegaverse elements NOT being present for the main character and him trying to fake it because he's lonely and afraid that his partner (an alpha *shakes off the disgusting label because who the fuck thought alpha was a cool word*) will leave him if he finds out he's just a regular guy (aka beta I guess? ABO is weird idc).

Sahara no Kuro Washi [Soutome Emu]: MASTER SLAVE MASTER SLAVE---

Haru ni Kaeru [Kunieda Saika]

Incorrigible [Bbong]

Well Done! [ANCO, Mongya]

Nemuri Otoko to Koi Otoko [Zariya Ranmaru]

Even If You Don't Love Me [Pando]: It dropped off SUPER hard (it's ongoing still) but damn was it good in the beginning. I am sick and tired of where it's at currently but the psychological manipulation and the horror of a certain twist in the storyline was CRUSHING to me. I only wish that it would have gone a better way after it happened, because it slowly destroyed itself and became like a lot of tropey rape stories. The asshole just keeps being an asshole and it's not really where the story seemed to want to go with that. But otherwise, it started off strong and I'll give it kudos for that.

Bigger titles I'm pretty sure everyone has heard of that I enjoy:

Saezuru Tori wa Habatakanai [Yoneda Kou]: Is it a little unrealistic that literally everyone in this story is gay apparently and wants to fuck one man apparently and/or rape him? Yes, absolutely. Does that matter once you're in the story and it's so good and all these unrealistic cruelties make a really strong bond between the main love interest and this self-destructive masochist who's probably not really a masochist but only interested in hurting himself because he doesn't know how else to handle his trauma from childhood? Ummmm yeah. Anyway! This one had a lot of inspiration and a lot of tears and a lot of obsession from me. I re-read it all the time, I watch the movie over and over, I listen to the audio drama and cry at my favorite scenes. Do I care in the end that it's a little unrealistic at times? No but I do laugh sometimes when I'm about to share it with a new person. Because BL is just like that generally and you've got to put up with a little of those tropes to find your favorite stories. THIS IS ONE OF THE TOP FAVORITES OF ALL TIME FOR ME BTW, IT'S ONLY SO LOW DOWN HERE BECAUSE PRETTY MUCH EVERYONE IN YAOI KNOWS ABOUT THIS ONE ALREADY, AND WE'RE ALL AWARE OF HOW GOOD IT IS.

ENNEAD [Mojito]: I will say that this is basically the best manga/comic/manhua...what's the Chinese word idk ANYTHING OF THIS MEDIA TYPE that I have ever read. It's not done, and people have been complaining that it's starting to fall into the common BL tropes but you know what I do NOT care. Mojito is a genius, Mojito is a master storyteller, Mojito is beautiful, Mojito is strong - I just love Mojito and this work. So much. The action, the horror of rape, the deep-set character conflicts and dilemmas and internal turmoils. Everything, nailed it. Nailed it. And not to mention it's set in FUCKING EGYPTIAN MYTHOLOGY AND THEY'RE ALL GODS AND THEY HAVE SUCH COOL BATTLES AND COSTUMES AND DUDE???? I'm so hooked. That's all.

Killing Stalking [Koogi]: OBVIOUSLY. I don't really need to say anything about this one except that yeah, some of the psychology is a little off and some of it is just super shallow. But I loved the characters and that's what mattered in the end. I fell in love with Sangwoo too and it ripped my heart out when I read the ending. I was depressed for like two weeks and it was the first story that had ever affected me that way, but I was also younger and this was one of my first yaoi/BLs and yeah. GREAT story though, fantastic storytelling, very lovable characters. Sangwoo was handled so much better than most "asshole/kidnapper/rapist" characters and I will never stop appreciating that, because a lot of writers tend to forget that your villains have to have redeeming qualities if you want us to like them (????). Jinx, I'm fucking coming for you. Suck my dick. KOOGI FTW.

Missing Love/A Married Man [In Hyerin]: Some of the DESCRIPTIONS of how trauma works especially of the sexual nature in this story are SO. SO. GOOD. However, I am beginning to grow VERY ANNOYED at where it decided to go with the most current updates of the story. The author did enough trauma to the main boy, now it's getting so incredibly excessive that it's overdoing it and the author's kinks are showing through. LIKE I GET IT. Okay? I do. But this one became too much and I need him to return to the actual story arc of going through that trauma so he can HEAL with the right person taking care of him.

MadK [Ryo Sumiyoshi]: I am into NONE of the kinks that would lead to me picking up this manga. I hate demons, I'm not a monsterfucker, I can't do extreme guro, and yet I SAW CANNIBALISM. THAT WAS THE ONE THING THAT I THOUGHT I'D GIVE IT A TRY FOR. And then accidentally I got obsessed because the plot is AMAZING and the writing is SO GOOD and who cares if I hate demons and monsters ALL OF THEM ARE BADASS AND HOT (??) AND IT CEASES TO MATTER. Good on the writer for making them appeal by personality alone and expressions and whatever else you signed a deal with the devil to make me like because it worked. Also the guro is beautiful, so it doesn't even matter. Hannibal levels.

Warehouse [Killerwhale]

Painter of the Night [Byeonduck]

Viewfinder/Finder [Yamane Ayano]

Given [Kizu Natsuki, Gusari]

Nii-Chan [Harada] (and basically every other work by Harada)

Sadistic Beauty Side Story [Geumsan Lee, Woo Yeonhui]

Dine With a Vampire [Pangin, Pinko]

Angel Buddy [Mastergin, Chungnyun]

My Partner's Tastes and Fetishes [Deok Hwa]

Interview with a Murderer [KJK]

On or Off [A1]

Steel Under Silk [Snob]

The Pawn's Revenge [Evy]: It was going to be SO GOOD! And then it dropped off harder than a boulder from a balcony and I have absolutely no idea why the author took it the way that they took it, but go off I guess. It's boring as hell now but it started off with promise and I enjoyed the art and character designs. Too bad, I suppose.

Caste Heaven [Ogawa Chise]: An old classic with all the sticky sometimes icky mostly ridiculous BL tropes but hey, it's cute. It's sexy. It's fun. I don't care.

Wet Sand [Doyak]: We're still in the beginning stage of this one but I'm excited to see where it goes! Plus the art SLAPS ASS like nobody's business.

19 Days [Old Xian]: I hate comedy, I hate fluff, I hate buddies that never become lovers, but none of that mattered when I picked this one up. The duality of man. Bite-sized chapters and ACTUALLY AN EVENTUAL ROMANCE that none of us thought we'd ever get.

Legs That Won't Walk [Black Apricot]: Although this one dropped off hard for me and I'm really just following it to see if it picks up again and does something interesting (it probably won't) I did enjoy it in the beginning. I just get tired of the "asshole just keeps being an asshole and nothing else but woobified slut keeps coming back to him??" without the strong and realistic undercurrent of Reasons Why Someone Would Come Back such as manipulation or threats or unhealthy attachment. Perhaps it was sorta there in the beginning with them but now I'm just like why are we still continuing this story.

Pearl Boy [Inking, Zoy]: *Awkwardly scratches neck* It's not the best okay? It's not. It's really not. I don't like half of the things that occur in this one, but the ART, bro. THE ART, BRO? That's what got me into it and what kept me into it, PLUS I do like little Jooha. I stayed for Jooha, too. Dooshik drives me a little batty most of the time and looks ugly for half the story to me, but when he's badass, he's pretty badass, so I can forgive him. I really don't know why he has such drastically changing appearances because I thought he was someone completely different for a bit LMAO. In any case, I have to admit I like the uhhhhh danger that Jooha gets himself into and the crazy things that make no sense but you know what he gets hurt and then there's comfort and rescue and they cry and I cease to care that it makes no sense. (Sorta, I don't actually cease to care I just laugh awkwardly and go okay sure that's how it works because it's so hard to find stories that don't do this LOL I'm beating a dead horse) BUT WHY DOES HE CUM PEARLS? WILL WE EVER KNOW? WHO THE HELL THOUGHT OF THAT AND WITHOUT A SUPPORTING MAGIC SYSTEM IN THE WORLD TO MAKE THAT MAKE SENSE? IT WENT DOWNHILL SO FAST AND THE ENDING IS TERRIBLE BTW. THE VILLAIN SUCKS.

That's it. I can't talk to much or I'll run out of words but HOPE YOU GUYS FIND SOME NEW READS!!

[jariten]

Recurring themes in 2023: my year of lesbian and yuriful manga

Doing this a little different when summarizing 2023. Since I stuck to my decision to not start buying any new licensed series and mainly did cultural catchup for both english and japanese manga I didn't really read enough hot new releases in 2023 for them to warrant a list of their own as they usually do. So to catch up on the months without a roundup as well as a year end summary I will do some themed lists!

The first came to easy since a noticeable trend was how much lesbian and yuri manga i made time for. For clarity I make a subjective distinction of lesbian and yuri works, just as some works I'm more inclined to describe as a Gay or LGBT story rather than a BL if it wasn't published in a BL imprint or invests time to do cultural or social commentary. Now to the list:

Among my favorite lesbian manga read in 2023 are: The Girl That Can't Get A Girlfriend by Mieri Hiranishi Moonlight Flowers by Mutsumi Tsukumo Indigo Blue by Ebine Yamaji Umibe no Kain by Minori Kimura

I won't reiterate too much as I already talked about it in a roundup but Hiranishi gave an extremely refreshing perspective on being a woman who loves masculine women, the dark story of her first heartbreak and the path forward. Love that Viz took the initiative to give her a graphic novel edition and promote her platform by licensing The Girl That Can't Get a Girlfriend. I've always found women's manga to be a not that secret treasure trove of lesbian stories yet I hadn't read the classic that is Moonlight Flowers... Just a truly suspenseful and romantic story of lesbian love as liberation and freedom that I can't recommend enough. Just with a clear warning of depictions of intimate partner violence that could be upsetting.

Yamaji has a well known track record of exploring lesbianism as well as bisexuality and I think Indigo Blue was extremely interesting in its explooration of the protagonist and her journey to figuring out what she wants as she's caught between two relationships. Another story of a woman's journey to confront who she is and what she wants: Umibe no Cain was a rather heartbreaking story of a young woman seeking refuge with a woman older than herself and as they start forming a frienfdship she begins to face the hurt and trauma she faced from her mother. But as the two women grow closer their relationship might take a turn that they can't come back from.

In the yuri-ish category: Kimi no Kureru Mazui Ame by Kaiko Fuyumushi OL to Ningyo by Mai Shiba

Won't reiterate too much of Kimi no Kureru Mazui Ame as I already talked about it in a roundup but love bite sized depictions of a miserable adolescence and toxic yuri but not quite. And if you found yourself taken by the more supernatural stories in this collection then may I recommend OL to Ningyo? Described by the author themselves as yuri-ish this collection depicts the bonds of human girls and their non-human counterparts. Humans, vampires, tengu, mermaid, and oni all face their own challenges and conflicts both romantic and otherwise.

In the Now That's What I Call Yuri category: Natsu to Lemon to Overlay by Ru & Miyako Miyahara Ki ni Natteru Hito ga Otoko Janakatta (The Guy She Was Interested in Wasn't a Guy At All) by Sumiko Arai Sukeban to Tenkousei by Fujichika

Natsu to Lemon to Overlay is the manga adaption of a yuri award winning novel novel that I picked kind of at random. An aspiring voice actress struggling to make any career moves are requested by a mysterious woman to read the obituary at her own funeral. What happens next will warm your heart. The Guy She Liked is one where I'm just going to assume most if not all of you are aware of so I'm just going to say that I like it and am looking forward to the next volume 👍 And last but not least: an adorable 80's throwback with some truly heartwarming moments and developments not to mention very funny: Sukeban to Tenkousei by Fujichika

[last-words-ofashootingstar]

Hope you’re doing well especially with the personal matters that are going on in your life! Hope you feel better and I hope things calm down for you sooner rather than later! 🖤 happy to see you back though!

I’ve been thinking more and more about how Siren!San would be as a mate (if you don’t feel like writing this that’s totally fine! 🖤🖤🖤)

Being Siren!San's Mate

❥Siren Choi San x gn reader

➯a/n: thank you 🫶🫶 i hope my little ramblings of being siren sans mate are enjoyable !

▼・ᴥ・▼ (✯◡✯)genre: headcanons, fantasy

ಠ_ಠwarning/content: mentions of kidnapping, fantasy body transformations, fated soulmates, not proof read

⁂perm taglist: @stvrfir3 @tunaasan @marievllr-abg

Sannie canonically has blonde hair in Shells, and I don't know if I've mentioned his tail color but I think it would be a pale pink. That in mind, he's a shallow water siren as apposed to a deeper water siren, because he blends in better. (Unlike Hongjoong with red hair and fluctuating tail color, who blends in with the darker waters)

That most likely is the way he meets his mate, and not a wreck or attack. Just his mate swimming a few miles off shore and he catches a whiff and then they're gone *poof*

San, in any universe, shape, or form, is a family man so he's like an excited puppy: swims around in circles at the pool entrance of his den until his mate wakes up.

When his mate wakes up and is inevitably like YO WTF DAWG, he's calm and collected even though his heart is about to jump out of his chest. He won't crowd his mate *cough cough hongjoong* because he's deathly afraid of sending them into shock from his mark.

That being said, he's still incredibly clingy-

Angel in Shells is a lucky woman 🙏(besides the kidnapped and turned into a siren part) because let me tell you Siren!San is not letting a single hair on his mates body be hurt or even uncomfortable.

Too cold? Boom- fire. Too hot? Boom- cooling lotion. Sad? He'll sing a song! Angry? Well that's okay, you can hit his chest and cry until you tire yourself out.

That's par for the course for most sirens with their human mate I think, but San takes it seriously. He'd slap a fish if it looked at you the wrong way and yell at seaweed that spooked you on your first trip into the water. (ex. not wanting Angel to touch Joongs mate because he doesn't want her to get sick, and comforting her)

He's a lot more in tune with his emotions than you'd think, he knows it's 'okay' to be exited but he also knows that you're going through a huge shock and so he lets out his excitement by talking to you. Whether you listen or not, it really doesn't matter.

And it also doesn't matter what he's talking about- though he makes it a point to avoid talking about things that make your heart beat irregular. He sticks to tame things at first, like the tribe and how they work and his own family and his favorite spots to sunbathe just under the surface of the water (promising to take you to all of them).

He tells his mate what's to come, unlike Hongjoong who dropped his moms lore and then shut that shit down 😭

Once you start transforming, he's nearly suffocating with watching your process in pure awe.

The first time he sees his mates tail?? He's thanking the Huntress for every little moment that lead him here.

If it matches his like some mates do, whew boy prepare to be smooched to death. (Prepare to be smooched to death either way actually)

The first time you go hunting together, his cheeks are sore from all the smiling he's doing, he wants to teach you anything and everything there is- and he will in due time.

One little detail I think really fits Siren!San is that every night before bed, even when he slept on the floor in those first few weeks to give you the comfort of his nest, he'd blow on your wrist to see his signature appear- ecstatic every time knowing that you were fated for him.

The first night you do it back, both of your scales turning pink when your name mimics his, he nearly dies of pure bliss.

[harkonnen-darkness]

𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐁𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐬 - Chapter One (Sneak Peek!)

Hi together! 🖤

I have to work spontaneously and therefore won't be able to finish writing the chapter this weekend. So here is an S.P. I'm still not sure whether "sexual advances" are already supposed to happen here. Maybe? 🤫

-> 𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐮𝐞

Words: approx. 2k

Warning?: Reader feels a little uncomfortable because of him + Night-time in his chambers 🌌

It was so cold outside that frost flowers formed on the outside of the glass. The snowstorm could be seen even in the darkness, the wind could be heard softly. And although you were a warrior, you were relieved to be sheltered between thick walls. It wasn't warm in his chambers, but compared to outside it was a pleasant bliss. "Would you like to take a warm shower?" , Feyd suddenly asked you. You could hear mockery in his voice. He was making fun of you! Your eyelids formed into a narrow slit as you looked in his direction. "Ohh, don't look at me like that, little warrior! I can also throw you over the balcony into the icy snow and let you freeze to death. What do you prefer, huh?" , he grinned at you superiorly. His tone, however, warning. "A warm shower, Na-Baron." "That's what I thought." , he said as you dropped your gaze briefly and nodded. You only realized a few seconds later that you didn't have a change of clothes. At that moment, Feyd pressed a black bathrobe into your hands. "Oh, thank you." , you whispered in surprise and fled quickly into the large bathroom.

As soon as you stood under the warm jet of water, your muscles relaxed noticeably. You exhaled, savoring the warmth that embraced your body. The small dab of his dark blue shower gel in the palm of your hand smelled exactly like him. The scent reminded you a little of wet wood, but you couldn't quite put your finger on it. You just hoped that your scalp was also happy with the gel, because you were too embarrassed to go to your chambers and just get shampoo. The pleasant scent of men spread throughout the bathroom and you inhaled it deeply before turning off the water. You carefully stepped out of the shower and grabbed an equally black towel. You fringed your hair as well as possible. You took a quick look at your body in the elegant mirror and recognized a few bruises, but they didn't hurt much (yet). Unfortunately, you slipped into your old underwear. Your body had to forgive you once. You would change it later. His bathrobe was unusually soft, he probably didn't wear it often. You smiled as the soft fabric enveloped your skin. You felt much more comfortable in your own skin than before. But your halfway good mood disappeared when you opened the door. Feyd was standing tensely in front of two of his harpies and you heard him say: "... because I have a guest." He then nodded in your direction, even though the two ladies had already seen you and were staring at you with wide eyes. The Harkonnen was leaning against the frame of the double door, which was slightly ajar.

Had he let them in? Did he want to, in your presence...? "Shall I be clearer, whores?" , he growled. They turned to him. He had never called them 'whores' before. Not in their presence. You became damn uncomfortable with what was happening before your eyes and you wanted to sink into the ground. Maybe Feyd should have thrown you off the balcony after all. "Should... should I go?" , you asked him. "Yes!" , came from the two ladies. "No!" , Feyd growled back in a raised voice and again told the female Harkonnens to leave. They realized that he was serious and gave in. However, they gave you another disgusted look. What were you doing? Actually, it was clear to you how that must look to them. You, late at night in his chambers, just out of the shower, in his bathrobe... Feyd slammed the doors and growled that you should just ignore them. You nodded silently, still a little overwhelmed by the sudden situation. He walked towards his closet and rummaged around in it. He tossed you a loose, simple black shirt, which you skillfully caught. "Be satisfied with that, or nothing at all!" , he grinned knowingly. Your cheeks flushed slightly and he looked at you for a second longer than he intended. The damn ego in him spoke up. When he disappeared into the bathroom, you hurriedly changed. The wide sleeves came down to your elbows and you were relieved when you saw in the large mirror at the other end of the room that it came down to your thighs. You were also able to bend down a little without danger, it covered your most private areas. It was clearly too wide for you, but you preferred it to being too short. You thought for a moment about grabbing a pair of sweatpants from his closet, but you didn't want to just rummage through his clothes. You also remembered his words.

Fear suddenly overcame your body as a question flashed through your mind. Were you supposed to spend the night here? Your breathing quickened and you felt like standing in the blizzard as heat shot through your body. An uncomfortable heat, it was fear. Was he planning to kill you? Strangle you in your sleep? You spotted two knives on his bedside table as you looked helplessly around the room. One perfect to hide up a sleeve or in a waistband, the other was the size of a dagger. You swallowed. Suffocate you in your sleep? More like stabbing you in your sleep! "Do you like them?" , his voice suddenly rang out, making you flinch. You hadn't heard him coming out. His body covered only by his long black sweatpants, you turned to face him. "They... they are pretty." , you tried to find words. With all your strength, you forced yourself not to look at his chest. "The large knife is made of rare steel. It wouldn't break even after hours in a fight." , he told you and you dared to examine it carefully. It was quite heavy. The handle was elegantly decorated with notches and felt good in hand. You turned it once with a flourish. Feyd's eyes watched your every movement, never taking his eyes off you. He also examined your bare legs and recognized a few scars. Some lighter, some darker. "Where did your scars come from? Training?" , he interrupted what you were doing. You looked at him with startled eyes. How exactly was he watching you? His expression was expressionless, waiting for an answer. "Yes, Na-Baron. Training and fighting. I'm often careless, but it’s getting better." , you tried to explain to him without sounding stupid. But was that even possible? Feyd had dropped onto his bed, one leg bent and his arms folded under his neck. "Careless in which way?" , he continued to ask. There was no mockery in his voice this time. Before you could answer, he ordered you to come closer to him.

You swallowed and hoped that he wasn't able to see your uncertain look in the dimmed light. As you sat down on the bed, his hands, cold from the shower, grabbed your legs. A small sound escaped your lips in shock. You quickly pulled the shirt between your legs with your hands so that he could see as little as possible. Feyd grinned, shaking his head. "It's nothing I haven't seen before." You looked at him briefly with shy eyes. However, a blush immediately appeared on your face and you had to break eye contact. You could still see a few scattered beads of water on his neck, shoulders and chest, which glistened a little in the faint light. "Mh-hm." , he made when he was done with your legs. He reached for one arm, then the next. Yes, you had a few scars. But they didn't bother Feyd visually. But probably still, as you said, a sign that you were rather careless or even clumsy. "How's the medicine on your home?" , he asked as he lowered your arm again. "I guess not as good as here." You answered honestly. Feyd laughed harshly for a moment. Yes, that was for sure! "But..." , he began, sinking into his pillows. "... they either show that you're completely clumsy. Or that you've already fought a lot. Which one is it, lady [y/l/n]?" , he asked at you. You thought about it for a moment, not wanting to say the wrong thing. "I hope the second, Na-Baron." , you whispered, daring to look at him again. The grin on his face hadn't disappeared. His eyes narrowed to a slit, visibly considering. "Despite your bruises? You've caught a few today." , he explained to you. You nodded in understanding and a sigh on your part filled the room. "I know that." , you assured him. "I'll try to do better, Na-Baron." "Try?" , he blurted out, and his loud voice made you flinch again. "No, [y/n]! You will improve! Do you understand?"

🖤 𝐓𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 𝐨𝐩𝐞𝐧, click here.🖤

[ultramarine-spirit]

PITO, artist of the BL manhwa "Leave the Work to Me!", and author and artist of the GL manhwas "My Joy" and "Her Pet", all licensed by Lezhin, just admited to having used revenge porn of a Korean girl as art references for his manhwa. Read his statement on Naver here (archived in case he deletes it).

As Korean activist sikpang on Twitter has spoken about, PITO used a "porn video" as a reference (and meme) for his manhwa. However, that video was actually a well-known illegal recording ("molka"). The following comment was written by the real victim of the illegal recording, saying it had ruined her life. Eventually, she committed suicide, but even then, Korean men continued to mock her by referring to the leaked video as her "last work".

PITO has stated that the webtoon platform instructed him to practice drawing for an adult webtoon, and that his contract was abusive. But naturally, the company never instructed him to use this kind of material as artistic reference. Read a detailed thread by Korean feminist activist cat here.

Seri, author and artist of the GL manhwa (considered by many a feminist work) "Her Tale of Shim Chong" (Tappytoon), and adapter of the manhwa "My S-Class Hunters" (Webtoon), advocated for PITO in a now partially deleted Twitter thread, saying that 10 years ago illegal recordings ("molka") were not a crime. This is patently false, as Korean users have pointed out. The movement against online sexual harassment in Korea goes as far as 1997, and at the time legislation against sexual crimes was in place.

What seems to be worse is that anti-sex crimes activists have (allegedly) been blocked by multiple manhwa authors.

The situation around women's rights in Korea is dire. Recently, many women, including high school students, have reported that they have been victims of deepfakes (AI-generated pornography using their faces). These crimes seem to mostly take place on Telegram channels, and estimated numbers indicate that there are at least 220.000 offenders. Here is a good post explaining current events.

Previous related incidents that you might have heard of are the Nth Room case and The Burning Sun scandal.

I want to make it clear that I'm not calling for a boycott of any of the authors involved. What you do with your time and money is your personal decision. I just wanted to bring people's attention to this issue on Tumblr, since there are barely any posts about it. But in my case, I'll never be able to read these works anymore. It especially hurts in the case of "Her Tale of Shim Chong", as it was always regarded as the best historical yuri manhwa, and many readers found it to be a powerful feminist story. Personally, I won't be able to recommend it ever again.

[bubbipond]

There is something about how they decided to shoot the Peem confession scene. It's not some major event like in most bl's or dramas. Where one character finally says it, after long periods of "will they won't they". Instead, it's shot as a means to end an end. Up til now, PhumPeem have been running around the idea of being with each other. Keeping their relationship a playful-flirty banter, without actually getting together.

But finally, doing that dance has become detrimental to their progress. When you are in a relationship, the idea is, you will never disappear. But in their scenario, there is no such assurance. Either boy could walk away at any point (and yes, technically you can do that in a relationship too but it's not a normal way to break up). They both want to be a comfort zone for each other but in many ways, they can't be in their current status. Their placements aren't like Q with Peem or Fang/Beer with Phum. When their friends need them, they are there. There does not need to be an update to their friend statuses because that is already set in stone. But these two aren't just friends and because of that, being upset and hurt feels very different. Peem can't just kick Phum or tell him to F off like he'd probably do to Q or the others. Phum can't just go ghost and sweep stuff under the rug because he knows Fang/Beer know him well enough to know he's (in theory) okay.

But what I love most is the simplicity of the, "I only know I love you" because up until now Peem has been confused about his feelings for Phum. He doesn't need to understand anything else about what happened or why it happened. He doesn't care about the painting, the art show, or how anyone else feels. He just understands now that his feelings aren't that complicated and that he can't see a future without Phum around. But not even in the way he has been around, he can't see a life without Phum being by his side. So when he tells him, "I only know I love you" he is telling Phum that nothing else matters to him outside that. It doesn't need to be this abstract concept, like what his professor told him. What's wrong with simplicity? There's still a lot of story in it and I think that's the whole of this stupid ass series. Life and love don't have to be extravagant or some huge display. Sometimes is just simple.

Okay, I am banning myself from We Are posts til Wednesday, bye. Gonna go binge a hetty kdrama...

[pinkkop]

Day 43 - 15 Days BL Challenge (part 3)

Day 43 - Let’s get delulu, which branded pairing should just get married already? (Note: this is all for fun and giggles, we’re not actually speculating on anyone’s sexuality or relationships.)

Edit: Fair warning, this post got away from me, so here's a tangent about BL pairs first. I won't get offended if you just skip to me talking about BillyBabe.

When it comes to BL pairings I'm very much someone who won't 100% believe that a BL pairing is actually dating as long as there's any financial gain from them pretending to be a couple. (Which is almost all the time for a pairing who's last show was together or that has an upcoming show together or anything vaguely like that)

So as long as there's even the smallest chance that actors are aware of the camera filming or taking pictures of them, then I view their interactions through the lens of fan-service.

This is not to invalidate the love that's between some of these pairings or say that any fan, who does think a pairing is dating, is lying, but since fan-service is a big part of BL, we're always going to have pairings acting it up and I think leaning into the idea that pairings are dating is a slippery slope.

When we decide we think a pairing is dating, we suddenly have a lot more stake in the pairing and it opens up for so many possibilities for people's feelings to get hurt and hurt people are more likely to lash out.

We've already seen it a good handful of times when it comes out that an actor in a pairing is dating someone else or that the actors in the pairing really aren't very close. When that happens fans feel deceived and hurt, get mad and lash out. "Fans" get nasty and start treating the actors and/or their real life partners horribly, because "how could they deceive us like this?"

This could really be applied to anything we believe to be true about an actor. Sexuality, personality, friendships etc. as long as it's something personal to the actor.

And if you're reading this and are thinking "I wouldn't do that!", then I'm sure you're right, I'd like to think this about myself as well, but some fans would and have done exactly that. And it's just hard to know exactly how you'll react until it does happen. Maybe we won't lash out at the actor but we might still turn our back on the actor and help fuel the fire of hurt and anger in the fandom, even if the actor really never did anything wrong, we just assumed.

Bottom line: I'll happily engage in fan-service but as long as a pairing's working together in some way then I'll never be 100% convinced the pairing's actually dating and I think keeping the actors and their personal lives at an arms length is good for both the fans and the actor in the long run.

Anyways, now lets talk about a specific BL pairing because I guess that's what the prompt was actually about...

Billy and Babe!

These two!

I know I already said that I view BL pairings through the lens of fan-service whenever they're in front of a camera but what the fuck are these two doing?! It's like they're doing fan-service on speed!

Making one after the other of really intimate vlogs where they put up a camera and show the fans exactly how close they are. Like some of the things they're sharing in the vlogs are honestly too intimate to share with strangers on the internet if you ask me. Like:

Straight up cuddling in bed in probably just their underwear(?) before getting out of bed in the morning 🤯

Being domestic AF in their hotel room just in robes and underwear (?) 🤯

Whatever it is Billy finds funny about Babe saying that he "Slept so well" 🤯

And finally them being the antitheses to 'two bros chilling in a hot tub, 5 feet away because they're not gay' here 🤯

Apparently their company has come out and said that they don't control any of the things that BillyBabe film in their vlogs and Babe has also recently said he isn't single. Like what the fuck, guys?!

I honestly really hope that this doesn't give any other BL pairings ideas because I don't want this to push the boundaries of what's normal for fan-service. Because this isn't something you just do with your bro and if they aren't actually dating and are instead just playing the part of dating, I think they're taking it too far.

Anyways, I'm mostly just curious to see how this evolve and what happens when they aren't working together anymore.

Maybe they're dating, maybe they're fuck buddies, making they're just the best of friends, or maybe they are none of those. Either way, it's none of my business! I just hope they're happy.

The original challenge is here, part two here and part three here.

[stuffnonsenseandotherthings]

In my spare time, when I'm not watching dramas I'm either reading books or watching people talking about books on YouTube. One tradition I've always really enjoyed is their "Mid-Year Freak Out" tag, especially because I like the idea of getting a chance to reflect on the year so far as well as look to the year ahead.

This year I thought I'd combine my two passions and use (and in some cases alter) the prompts for my own use, i.e. so that I can talk about dramas rather than books.

The only rule: answer the questions (and go wild I guess).

And we start the list with the biggest risk! No The Trainee is nowhere near finished and, no I have no idea how it's going to finish (it's GMMTV it could drop the ball through the floor and into the earth's core for all I know) but, if it manages to keep going the way it's going, I'm going to absolutely love it. I've mentioned before that The Trainee reminds me a lot of Misaeng, what I haven't said is that Misaeng is my (tied) favourite drama of all time and if The Trainee can get anywhere close to making me feel like I did the first time I watched Misaeng (which it is so far) then it's on to a winning formula.

So far it's got everything I look for in a drama: a solid cast with excellent chemistry, a plot that focuses on the little battles of everyday life, and an excellent mix of fast friendship and slow burn romance with plenty of character development along the way. It also doesn't hurt that it's got the balance between slapstick-funny and emotional tension pretty much bang on either.

I can't get this drama or it's characters out of my head and I am deeply, deeply, invested in where things are going next so, as a nod to the hold it has on me and my hope that I've found a new all-time fave, The Trainee is my favourite drama so far so GMMTV DO NOT LET ME DOWN.

Thai BL opening themes can be very hit or miss for me (I won't lie, I have skipped many an opening sequence because I can't stand the song) but Wandee Goodday's "Fan With Benefit" caught my ear the first time I heard it and refused to leave me alone after that. I think I listened to it on repeat for at least 2 weeks and then at least once a day after that.

It's fun, it's flirty, it's got a chorus I like to dance to and it has now found itself on my "Songs to Cook Dinner To" playlist (I don't know if that says more about the song or how I cook dinner).

Now if only the drama lived up to its theme song...

Last Twilight would have been on this list had I not dropped it in December and, as a result, rendered it ineligible for a 2024 drama. I'm still absolutely fuming about how badly it let its audience down and how terribly it handled an extremely nuisanced topic to the point its final messaging was almost harmful.

I'm not going to get into this in too much detail because my frustrations have been voiced much more eloquently by people @lurkingshan and @twig-tea. I will say, however, that I loved the first 6(?) episodes of Wandee Goodday and I'm really sad about how much I didn't enjoy the rest of the drama.

There were a lot of things to like (and a lot of potential) right from the start: two couples with great chemistry, an ace character with actual depth and dimension, really sweet relationships (both familial and friendships), and the foundations for some interesting explorations of various interpersonal dynamics. Unfortunately none of these things really got followed through on and instead Wandee decided to go dark (with topics like mental health, sexual assault, loss and grief, parental neglect and abandonment to name a few) and do it badly. I don't mind if a show wants to explore difficult topics, in fact I really appreciate it, but what I won't tolerate is a drama introducing those topics as central plot points and then skimming over them in the most superficial way possible.

If you can't be bothered to put in the effort to properly research/explore difficult topics, do not include them in your drama.

I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS SHOW SINCE IT FIRST GOT ANNOUNCED. Which unfortunate because I was so excited for it I got stressed about it living up to my expectations (or not) and then couldn't watch it when it came out. It's annoying, it happens, I know how to fix it.

Anyway, I've given it some space, I've dealt with the other things that were making me stressed and I am now ready to devour it give it a go.

I have long been a fan of Ahn Pan Seok's works and I really appreciate his directorial style, the themes he chooses to tackle, and the way in which he explores his topics of choice. I will fully acknowledge his work is not for everyone; he favours slow (extremely slow) stories with characters and plots who are realistic to a frustrating (and sometimes infuriating) degree. You also need to have a pretty in depth understanding of Korean society and its problems, taboos and concerns to fully understand the underlying messages of his dramas and the structures/beliefs/views he's critiquing. That being said, for me that is the perfect recipe for a drama that's going to claw itself into my brain and stay there.

Secret Love Affair, One Spring Night, and Something in the Rain all had a lasting impact on me and, thanks to @lurkingshan's posts, I'm pretty sure Midnight Romance in Hagwon will join them.

It may come as a surprise after the last entry but I actually try quite hard to not get hyped about upcoming releases, mainly to avoid creating any expectations which can then be disappointed. I like to go in with as open a mind as possible.

As a result, there are a few upcoming releases I'm keeping an eye on but none I'd say I'm properly "anticipating" (á la Midnight Romance in Hagwon). The closest I can get is Monster Next Door which I am genuinely excited for and which I plan to watch from day 1.

I'm not completely sure why I'm looking forward to it so much, I think it's because I do love a good opposites attract, foes-to-hoes dynamic and Monster Next Door seems like it's going to offer that to me in spades alongside a serving of comedy and a sprinkling of heat. Bring the introvert-extrovert pairing and let me watch them be stupidly whipped for each other, it's all I need for now.

Technically all of the dramas on my Want to Watch list because I want to clear it but I'm aware that that's a bit of a reach.... If anyone can spot any dramas on here that you think I should prioritize (or dramas you think I should scrap), recommendations would be appreciated.

I also want to watch more Japanese BLs. The few I've got through, I've enjoyed and, for a lot of them, I've already read and loved the source manga so I know I'll enjoy the plot. Unfortunately I really struggle with the short episodes (30 minutes is not long enough for me to get invested) and that I have to commit to binging them and can't watch them while they're airing, which is a whole other issue. I'm thinking of focussing on Japanese GL for now as a hook (I'm not enjoying the current Thai GL line up and I'm running out of Korean GL I can find online) so I guess the dramas I "need" to watch are She Loves to Cook and She Loves to Eat and Ayaka is in Love with Hiroko.

* Biggest surprise

* Newest favourite actor/director/writer/producer

* Most beautiful drama

* Newest fictional crush

* Newest favourite character

* A drama that made you cry

* A drama that made you happy

And there you have it! Lightly tagging @lurkingshan @twig-tea and @italianpersonwithashippersheart but no pressure! Anyone else who wants to do this, feel free! Just tag me so I can gather more recs to make my To Watch list even longer.

[redtsundere-writes]

Jinx | Sukuna Ryomen

mma fighter!sukuna ryomen x femalecoach!reader

Part 6. In My Hands.

Beginning. ← Previous | Next →

Sypnosis: Sukuna is a world champion with anger issues. It's believed by many that he is untrainable. Yeah, you can't train him, but you can dominate him. Contents: Fighting. Sukuna being Sukuna. female reader being dom. Jinx AU (the BL, not the character from lol) Warnings: Mentions and sexual harassment. Angst. Humiliation. Cursed words. Word Count: 3551 words. A/N: Hello peeps! This is a kind reminder that you need to fix your posture.

I still remember the terrible day when I met Naoya Zenin. Six years ago, my first coach told me that I had to expand my horizons if I wanted to reach my full potential, so he sent me to the top jiu jitsu gym in the country. This was before Team Black Gym even existed. The Zen’in dojo was a beautiful temple on the outskirts of traditional Kyoto. There were several satisfying zen gardens, tall bamboo stalks and small ponds with beautiful koi swimming around. I felt dirty stepping into such a pure and sacred place. 

I shyly walked into the dojo. I had taken off my shoes to step on the tatami, so I wouldn’t get it dirty. The place was packed with fighters training the same move at the same time on the count of an old man who was analyzing each one of them. The walls were decorated with display weapons, scrolls with calligraphy, flags, and symbols of martial arts. The sensei started a break as soon as his eyes landed on me. 

“Welcome, you must be the student Geto sent,” he said while his eyes analyzed my physique unabashedly. 

At that time I didn't have much muscle, and it was obvious that I was a beginner compared to them. Two years have barely passed since I started training jiu jitsu seriously to get into the UFC. I was sure he thought I was just a scrawny, innocent girl as well. 

“Thank you for letting me into your dojo. I promise I will do my best,” I said, bowing politely.

“You are not part of this dojo yet,” he corrected me. “I’ll test you to know if you really belong here,”  he explained serenely. 

My hands nervously tightened the strap of the gym bag across my body. I was used to facing off in national competitions, but this was different. I would have to fight someone from the Zen’in family, a professional who had probably practiced mixed martial arts since birth. Someone who was light years ahead of me in experience.

The sensei called out a blond boy with black tips, taller and more muscular than me. A very attractive boy, but that didn't matter now. Was I supposed to face a man? I had only faced women before, could I really beat him? In that case, I had to show off so I wouldn’t disappoint Geto. 

“Meet my son, Naoya. If you beat him, you can stay,” Naobito explained without further ado before he went to sit on a small cushion that was on a step at the back. 

“Nervous?” Naoya asked me as we stretched out in front of each other to start the fight. 

“I have never faced a man before,” I confessed. 

“Don't worry, I won't be so rough. Just for you,” he said with a smile. 

“Naoya, such behavior is unacceptable!” Naobito exclaimed in annoyance. 

“I'm sorry, I just can't hurt such a pretty girl,” Naoya smiled warmly without taking his eyes off me. 

I think it was the first time I felt my heart fluttering for a boy. That only made me even more nervous. Not only am I facing a boy for the first time, it would be the first time I would be facing a boy I like. So far he has only been kind and warm towards me. I wish he had stayed that way. 

“Please, give me your best. Make me try my hardest,” I asked him nicely. 

“I like your attitude,” He complimented me. My cheeks couldn't help blushing at that. 

After Naobito announced the start of the fight, Naoya went straight for my ribs with a kick. He was extremely agile and fast. I could barely dodge it on time. I knew this wouldn't be just like any other fight, this was the fight. All my confidence vanished with each jab that made my feet instinctively recoil. I was fast, but not fast enough to dodge every punch. 

I was a floor fighter by instinct, so my best strategy was to take him down. I contorted my body to try to apply a headlock, but he wouldn't let me. He was like a worm slipping through my fingers. As soon as he maneuvered to grab my wrists tightly, I knew I had made a big mistake. Naoya was also a floor fighter. Luck really wasn't on my side this time. 

We were two contortionists fighting for control of the situation. Time was a blurry concept, my limbs were screaming for a rest and my mind was arguing with my body that we had to resist if we wanted a place among the Zen’in. I would do everything in my power not to lose this fight. 

I elbowed him in his exposed cheek in a window of opportunity. I took the chance to pin him against the floor, his arms were against his chest and he was kneeing me in the back. I thought I had won the fight, but I didn't consider my opponent's amazing flexibility. He wrapped his right leg around my abdomen and cornered me against his other leg, knocking me to the ground with the strength of his legs in an instant.

“Shit,” I gasped trying to regain control. 

Naoya, having both arms free, was tearing me apart with jabs coming right and left. He had me cornered against his body like a dangerous boa as he was beating me relentlessly. I could only cover my face so he wouldn't knock me out. I was trapped, there was nothing I could do. I hit his back three times to announce that I was giving up. Naoya stopped and pulled himself away from me completely. 

“Good fight,” he said with his voice cracking, tired as I was. 

Naoya offered me his hand to help me up. I snorted and took it kindly, I had to behave like a good loser. I think that was the moment I started to like him. Even though he was sweaty and slightly beaten, he still looked like a damn angel. His smile was intact, his hair was unruly tousled and his green eyes looked at me tenderly. 

“She got Zen’in on her, I like her,” Naoya said to his father after I thanked him for letting me fight him. 

“Yes, it's just what Geto promised me,” Naobito mentioned while scanning me, still. “I've seen enough, you start tomorrow,” he warned me before announcing to the others that the class would continue soon. “I did it!”, I thought excitedly with a big proud smile on my face. 

“Congratulations and welcome,” Naoya shook my hand again in celebration. “Do you by any chance like Chinese food?,” he asked me out of the blue. I looked at him curiously while he smiled at me. 

That damn fake and hypocritical smile glittered in Team Black's small meeting room. Sukuna and the rest of his team were analyzing Naoya's fights to plan a strategy for the big fight. I had dedicated myself to watch each of his fights closely since I escaped from Zen’in Gym, just to see how someone else would beat the smirk off his face, but all those hours were finally coming in handy. 

“We can see that he is a good floor fighter with high stamina,” Gojo explained as he looked at the textual analysis of his fights in the last three years.

12 wins with 4 losses, a great streak without a doubt. Long and defined arms, strong legs and a beastly stamina. Half of his fights have ended quickly because he has cornered them against his body and the others have been by judges decision. He was still a superb fighter and has only improved since I met him. 

“We should go to the floor. Give him some of his own medicine,” Gojo said without taking his eyes off the documents. 

“I disagree,” I said while watching the fight on the screen. Gojo looked at me as if I just kicked his dog.

“I agree with Gojo. Sukuna was able to beat Toji Fushiguro in the last fight, he has improved a lot in floor fighting thanks to you,” Nanami commented. 

“I'm not saying it because I don't believe that Sukuna can beat a floor fighter, he can, but we can't take it to the floor in this fight,” I explained. “Naoya has two types of opponents: weak and strong. He acts very differently depending on which one he fights. Last month’s visit wasn't just to annoy us, it was to see up close what he's going to face soon,” I argued. 

“And which type am I?” Sukuna asked me, raising his eyebrow with curiosity. 

“Strong,” I stated. “He has only faced opponents that he has declared as strong 3 times. Yuta Okkotsu, Toge Inumaki and Aoi Todo when he got the stupid idea to fight for the heavyweight belt.”

I had seen those three fights live on television. The satisfaction of watching him suffer in the cage was better than any orgasm I've ever had. I had been watching him from afar all this time, I knew him better than he knew himself. I knew exactly what I was talking about.

“The weak are the opponents he knows he can beat easily, that's why he goes to ground quickly. With the strong ones, he usually takes his time because he knows he has no chance of beating them and only relies on his incredible endurance,” I explained. 

“What exactly is your plan?” Gojo asked me, not convinced by my idea. 

“We have to tire him out. Keep boxing and avoid the floor. Get him out of his comfort zone,” I explained. 

“I don't think that's the best option,” the white-haired man answered. 

“She knows him better than all of us. We’ll stick with her plan,” Sukuna said determinedly. 

“Is he defending me?” I thought to my surprise. I didn't think he would do something like that. I assumed he would be on Gojo's side being his lifelong coach, but I think he noticed that this fight mattered more to me than to him. Sure, he wants to keep his belt, but I want to break his pride. He was fighting for honor, I was fighting for revenge. 

“I agree with her. Sukuna is a great boxer, and now he knows how to escape from the floor. He can tire him that way for the last rounds,” Yuuji commented. 

“Well, I think that settles it,” Nanami sighed looking at Gojo. 

We left the meeting room. Nanami and Gojo went back to the office, while Sukuna, Yuuji and I were going back to training. I already had a foolproof training plan in mind to get my champion in his best possible shape. I would do anything to see Naoya suffer live. 

“Thank you for defending me back there. I assure you that you won't regret it,” I promised Sukuna. 

“I didn't defend you, I just made a good decision,” Sukuna said without paying me much attention.

“Call it whatever. Thank you,” I smiled at him anyway.

He looked at me like he always did, cold and serious. Every day I felt that I was getting closer to him. We may not have been the best of friends, but Sukuna knew he could trust me completely. I was really proud to have progressed that way with him. 

“Let's train!” I exclaimed excitedly. 

“I'm sorry to interrupt you,” someone said behind Sukuna. It was the physiotherapist, Shoko. “It's time for your session,” she reminded us.

“That's right,” Sukuna checked the time on his phone. “You can go now. See you tomorrow,” he said goodbye before following Shoko to her office. 

Sometimes I was surprised how often Sukuna needed so many sessions with the physiotherapist. It was at least one every week. When I was fighting, I didn't need more than one session a month. Well, that was until I messed up my neck, in which case, I went three times a week. As soon as they entered the medical room, I turned to Yuuji. 

“Something wrong with him?” I asked curiously. 

“What are you talking about?” He asked me, confused. 

“Is Sukuna physically well? Why does he need so many sessions with the physio?” I clarified. 

“Don't worry about him. He's fine,” he said with a small blush running down his cheeks. 

“You're a bad liar, tell me what's wrong,” I asked him.

“Well, it's just he has… “sessions” with the physiotherapist. Do you know what I mean?” he asked. Yuuji said the word “sessions” with a wink. 

Is Sukuna fucking the physiotherapist? That made perfect sense. I knew there was a reason why she was the only woman in the gym before I arrived. I just couldn't see her being his type. Shoko was very pretty, but it seemed like she didn't put much effort into her appearance. She always wore the same clothes, plus she smoked a ton, so always reeked of cigarettes. 

“I would never have guessed it,” I commented. 

“Neither do I. It's hard to tell with him, though. He's never had a girlfriend or even dated,” Yuuji commented. 

“That damn personality is the problem,” I thought. Sukuna was a ridiculously attractive man. While I was researching workouts that I could implement into his training, it occurred to me to look up his name on the internet. The first thing that popped out at me was the cover he appeared on for Men’s Health magazine. He looked amazing in the skin-tight bathing suit they had put him in as he was getting out of a pool. The drips sliding down his abs, the tattoos decorating his sculpted body and his piercing gaze. My mouth dropped to the floor in shock. 

“But I guess he's got the girls going crazy,” I mumbled in envy. 

“Yeah, he was the school’s bad boy. They all wanted to date him,” Yuuji explained. 

I could imagine him arriving at high school on a motorcycle like a rebel, leather jacket and dark glasses. Posing like a real unattainable hunk out of a chick lit movie. The girls surrounding him as he walked through the halls, not paying attention to any of them. 

“But he was once a horny teenager, he must have liked someone,” I commented. 

“I don't remember any girls at our school that he liked, but he would blush every time Megan Fox was on screen when we watched Transformers. I'm sure it made him feel that way,” Yuuji said, trying not to laugh at the memory. 

“I don't blame him. Megan Fox made all of us feel a type of way.”

We both started laughing and then said goodbye. The drive home was quicker than I thought it would be. I started mentalizing everything I needed to do when I got to my apartment. Doing my laundry, planning this week's workout, prepping my lunches, doing the dishes… So my mind was entertained until I got to my building. 

I walked up the stairs slowly, tired from today's workout, until I reached the fifth floor. I walked through the halls to the rhythm of the song playing in my headphones. I was almost there. I was so happy to finally rest for a while, until I saw an obstacle in front of the door.

Naoya was standing in front of my apartment dressed in a suit and a small bouquet of my favorite flowers. “What the fuck is he doing here? How does he know I live here?” I wondered as I stopped in my tracks to remove my headphones. He quickly noticed my presence and smiled at me like the cynical fucker he is. 

“You're finally here, I still haven't learned your work schedule,” he said while scratching the back of his neck. 

“Have you been following me again?” I asked, upset as I approached him. 

“I just want to make sure you're okay, that's all,” he answered. “Look, I even brought you your favorite flowers.” 

Our fingers brushed as I took the bouquet. That simple touch made me remember moments that I wanted to bury in the graveyard of my memories. When we were a happy, loving, healthy couple, before he became an obsessed maniac. I threw the bouquet roughly at his feet in total rejection and slapped him across the face. 

“I don't want anything from you. Get the fuck out of here before I punch you for real,” I ordered him. 

“Why are you playing hard to get and cold?” He asked as if he really didn't know why. 

“Because when I was easy, you almost raped me!” I exclaimed without shame that someone else heard our argument, if this could be called one. Talking to Naoya was like talking to a wall. 

“It doesn't count as rape, you were my girlfriend,” he spat.

“You drugged me, asshole!” 

“Whatever, I already apologized for that a long time ago,” he said, downplaying the issue. 

“I don't care about your apology, why can't you understand that? It's one syllable, no, no, no! Shall I tell you in Spanish? ‘No!’” I shouted in annoyance. 

“I will do my best to make you forgive me and get back with me,” Naoya said as he came closer to me. I walked away at his pace. 

“And I will do everything I can to get you to stop bothering me,” I answered. 

“Oh yeah?” He challenged me. “Why don't we bet on it? Since we want different things.”

“I'd rather make a deal with the devil than with you,” I snorted. 

“If Sukuna wins, I'll stop bothering you forever and admit that I wanted to rape you,” he offered without hesitation. “Is he really so confident that he would win?” I was intrigued. 

“What if you win?” 

“You'll have to leave Team Black and join the Zen’in Clan again.” Well that was less bad than I thought, knowing his twisted mind. 

“Why do you want me to join the Zen’in Clan?” I was confused. 

“I know I can't force you to fall in love with me again, for God's sake I'm not a monster.” Cynical bastard. “So I thought that if we spend a lot of time together, as we used to do, you will want to come back to my arms,” he explained. 

“You're crazy,” I said. 

“It's a great deal,” he said. I just shook my head to ignore his proposal, waiting for him to just walk away before entering my apartment. “Or don't you have faith in Sukuna?” I hate to admit that felt like a slap across the face. 

“Sukuna is going to kick your ass,” I barked.

“Then let's bet if you're so sure,” Naoya offered me his hand to agree to enter the bet. 

“You better hold up your end of it,” I said as I accepted his handshake. 

“May the best man win,” he said before squeezing my hand to place a kiss on my knuckles. I pulled it away from him and wiped it on my sweatshirt. He picked up the bouquet from the floor and handed it to me. I reluctantly took it so he would get the hell out of here. 

“Go away,” I ordered. Naoya smiled at me and left the way he came. I followed him with my eyes until he was out of my sight. As he was about to take the stairs, he turned around. 

“Remember that luck is always on my side, beautiful,” he said with a wink. 

I used not to believe any of that before. I was sure that luck didn't exist and that the only thing that existed was unique opportunities. Believing in luck is for weaklings like Naoya who don't trust their body and abilities. That's what I thought until I met Sukuna. 

“Luck may not be on my side, but it is on Sukuna's,” I said, imitating his cynical smile. Naoya reciprocated and walked out of my sight. 

Quickly, I entered my apartment and closed the door behind me. I dropped my gym bag by the entrance to go to the window. “No way was I going to keep this,” I thought. I opened the kitchen window and threw out the bouquet of flowers as far as I could like a football. I slammed the window shut and leaned against it to take a deep breath. 

My pulse was racing. I felt anxiety invading my chest and my memories were rushing through my mind. I removed the scrunchie that held my hair in a ponytail to run my fingers through it in an attempt to calm myself. 

I sat down at my small dining room table and pulled out my notebook to begin planning this week's training. I pushed out the tip of the pen with a “click”. I tried to write the first day's name and it wouldn't release ink. I scratched the entire sheet, but the ink just wouldn't come out. 

“Fucking hell! I exclaimed in annoyance as I threw the pen across the apartment. 

Tears filled with anger and frustration began to roll down my cheeks. I pulled my hair as I cried over the notebook. I was sick of living in fear, of Naoya always knowing where I was, of him not understanding that I didn't want to go back to him. These false memories bombarding my mind every time I saw him made me mad. I had to end this. I had to finish him off no matter what. Yes, he would fight against Sukuna, but I must pull some strings behind the scenes to ensure our victory. 

Next →

Masterlist.

Order your own fanfic here! (Starting prince: $5 USD)

Taglist: @maskedpacific @thepurpleempath @mazzd4 @charlie-xo

(Let me know if you want to get tagged on the next chapter! :)

[respectthepetty]

I need to stress something somewhere. And I know you will be able to help or even help be observe but, I have a haunting feeling that in the clips we have of Mork reading to Day, is in the future and….Mork isn’t actually there anymore . … many reasons with the scenes set up but the main things for me is the fish. There is only one in the rank now in that scene. And the book marks in the book. 1 fish bookmark, the other an avocado? And their legs are covered with a blanket. So no 2 slippers of fish is shown……am I creating narrative things that are not there or seeing things wrong? it just feels almost a melancholy scene set up in front of the tank…… and I’m scared!!

What are your thoughts pretty please?!

Anon, I'm choosing violence first, then I'll be kind.

On Spanish TikTok, or as I like to call it Tea Talk, someone stated they saw the book's ending, and it ended with Mork dying and donating his eyes to Day.

The people of Tea Talk ripped that video to shreds. The comments section was not pleased with the mentiras (lies), and Indonesian TikTok even showed up in the fray with the actual book to prove the original poster was "Livin' La Vida Loca."

I don't know how this cookie will crumble, but let me remind you of two things:

#1 - This is GMMTV.

It gave us The Shipper in 2020 at the height of the pandemic, and I think it has been correcting that wrong since.

And it gave us Only Friends in 2023.

I wanted murder and mayhem. Instead it gave everyone happy endings except the slut because apparently he had too many "happy endings" and *morality* or some bullshit.

If you are watching Playboyy, it's what Only Friends could have been if Disney BL hadn't produced it.

I might sound salty (because I am), but I'm really just trying to emphasize that GMMTV wouldn't. Period. Full stop. GMMTV wouldn't give us a sad ending to a branded pair. It will kill a mom quick, but sad times for a branded pair? ¡Nunca! For example, how did we all know Palm x Nueng were gonna be safe and sound in Never Let Me Go? Our Skyy 2. Can't have Our Skyy 3 if it kills a ship now can it?

#2 - This is Aof

The director, producer, and screenwriter extraordinaire shot Pat (Ohm) on Christmas Eve.

He killed Papang!

Hell, he killed Singto before the series even started!

Mork (NOT GAWIN, NO!) got beat up and was hospitalized!

And yet, we got a happy ending each time.

The man wants to make use cry, but he has never ended with queer trauma to do so.

Which is why there are still two fish in that tank.

And I think the avocado is a shout out to Jimmy's love of them (because who doesn't love avocados, am I right?).

So as much as I do not think the reading scenes we keep getting are set in the present,

I don't think they are setting us up for a sad future, especially because Korea already did this trick.

If you watched To My Star 2: Our Untold Stories last year, you know that shit hurt, every, single, episode,

and because it hurt, we were too blinded by the pain to notice the happiness sprinkled throughout.

The happiness we were seeing wasn't flashbacks of their past relationship or even snippets of their current one.

THEY WERE GLIMPSES OF THEIR HAPPY FUTURE!

Korea gave us The Eighth Sense and Strongberry's Choco Milk Shake, both which had the perfect premises to fuck us over, and yet my only complaint was NO POLY!

If Korea can delivery happy endings, Disney BL can too (but not the kind it punished Boston for. Never those kind). It isn't Taiwan, and it certainly isn't Japan who is ALWAYS itching to give maximum pain. This is "soft power" Thailand, GMMTV, Aof, and a branded pair. If GMMTV brought out Gawin to get Krist and Joss back to kiss a homie, I greatly doubt it would tank the JimmySea ship for a sad ending (did you get the pun?). If there is one thing I can count on GMMTV for, it's to secure the bag. Sell merch. Sell novels. Sell a special box edition of the series. Sell the ship. That won't happen if this is sad.

Also, color-coded boys in love get happy endings.

It's science.

[ichiharas-familiar]

Maiden Rose post below the cut. We are all friends here we are holding hands in a circle and you are reading this post in good faith. Standard Maiden Rose warnings apply.

The thing about MR is that it plays the romance tropes straight, and plays them to their logical conclusion. YES Klaus is the ideal of a dom who gives you everything you want without having to ask for it, YES Taki is the pure maiden with a secret desire. But how long can you preserve that dynamic. Doesn't it hurt you to play that forever? Don't you have to change? Don't you have to open up eventually? What if you didn't. What if you kept following those roles down into hell.

The sex Taki and Klaus are having has always been dubcon-y- the audience knows what Taki wants, because we can see inside his head, but Klaus can't, and Taki *cannot* verbalize desire. We see this explictly, in the hospital scene, when he says something like 'before you, I never knew how to want anything'. It's not just that he can't speak up because of his fear of the hammer of god coming down on him and his people for consenting to sex, it's that he straight up does not have the language. So Klaus has to assume. And Taki WANTS him to assume. This is all very typical bl convention.

But once they get to Japan the dubcon turns pretty clearly into noncon. Taki is now explictly refusing rather than just hesitating, things become more and more violent until we get to the rape in the shed which is the moment where Klaus breaks, and finally all the guilt of what he's been doing crashes down on him. He is ready to die for this, but Taki won't let him. So he has to live with that guilt.

And then it doesn't fucking stop. Taki unties him when he's delirious (against Klaus's explict orders) and Klaus hurts him again. IMO, Taki knows what might happen when he does this. And Klaus starts realizing he's stuck playing this part. That he is *not* in a bodice ripper romance novel where the heroine opens up after her initial reluctance, that this is from now on the only way he's going to get anything from Taki. He will be the monster everyone thinks he is until he dies. The retconned-out-of-existance curtain scene is so painful because of this. Klaus is trying to establish a boundary, is trying to say 'Let me be your sword and nothing else, I can do that, I'm okay with only that. Let me have something I can still be proud of after all the shameful things I've done to you.' And then Taki *initiates contact* for the first time in... basically ever. And we see his thoughts, 'please don't go back to just being my friend'. This is, in the strained, highly structured relationship they have now, an implied request for more, despite being only a hug. But I don't think Klaus can do it anymore. I don't think he can take the implied requests, the suggestions, the hints of desire. I don't think he wants to be the one to blame anymore, but I don't know if Taki is capable of being anything other than a 'sacrifice', as Klaus calls him.

I talk a lot about sub!Klaus and it sounds silly but I think it might genuinely be the only solution to this problem. Klaus, the Klaus we have now, can't initiate. Every time he initiates any sort of physical contact (even if Taki is okay with it), he takes on the role of monster more and more, he is reminded of what he did, and it's hurting him. A Taki who would order him around, who would *have* to verbalize his desires? That's like a dream to Klaus.

(All of this is not of course to put the blame on Taki. Like I've said before, Klaus is a guy whose stupid purity kink is coming to bite him in the ass in the worst way. If someone reacts to sex the way Taki did you should not, in the real world, have sex with them. Klaus did it anyway and here we are. They are both in unwinnable positions due to their roles in the larger society but ALSO due to the roles they've been playing with one another.)