#bj is fucking dead sunday

[nysocboy]

Gemstones Episode 2.7: Holding hands among the yurts, and eating pizza for dessert

When you get tired of discussing sex: Whew, Eli's not dead after all, but he's in a coma. Jesse/Amber and Judy/BJ hug and cry at his bedside.  Kelvin is noticeably absent.  Then the siblings go out into the parking lot and throw up multiple times. followed by the partners.   Is this a common response to grief, or did they all have bad sushi for dinner?

Ok, we're not tired of discussing sex yet:  We cut to Keefe trapped in the God Squad's tiger cage.  There are several openings to look through, but he prefers the glory hole.This time, Sky (Joel Rush, top photo) pushes through, hitting him in the eye!  

Keefe collapses, screaming in pain, and starts to cry.  He has died and gone to hell, being punished for Kelvin's sins -- a veritable Christ figure.  Note that Keefe undergoes a symbolic death and resurrection in every season.

When the God Squad guys leave, Kelvin appears with food and toiletries.  Interestingly, Keefe calls him by the formal "Brother Kelvin."  He isn't sure that he wants a romantic relationship with this guy who lets him suffer in a tiger cage instead of saying "Game's over! Let Keefe out!" and calling security if the God Squad resists.  But Christ-Keefe doesn't even suggest release; instead, he advises Kelvin that he's as powerful as Eli, just as Jesus was as powerful as his Father.  

Beauty and the Beast:  In church, Jesse announces that Eli was gunned down while driving on Long Point Road. Trivia note: This is a real road in a suburb of Charleston.  It leads past the Seacoast Church, a megachurch that closely resembles the Salvation Center.

Afterwards, the family is at their post-church dinner at Jason's Steakhouse, when Kelvin arrives, wearing a dark purple robe, carefully holding his glass of orange drink. 

They yell at him for not being around late;y, but he isn't ready to show himself in public yet. "I am a beast!"  Jesse quips that the robe makes him look like the beauty from Beauty and the Beast.

Next they argue over who will fill the power vacuum left by Eli's absence, until Martin has had enough: "Can't you just be kind to each other? Self-absorbed, loud, arrogant fucking assholes."  That's about the size of it.

Kelvin agrees:"Y'all are a bunch of a-holes."  Jesse points out that he was talking about "you, too, dick-lips."  The term refers to lips that would be especially nice to have sex with: a call-back to the glory hole scene earlier, and yet another reference to Kelvin being gay.  

Jesse's Plan:  After discussing the possibility of blowing up Junior's house and having a heart-to-heart with Martin, Jesse reveals to the siblings his new plan: he'll tell the congregation and the news media that Eli is recovering, and give them his hospital and room number, so the listening Cycle Ninjas will know to where to strike again.  Except Eli won't be there: Jesse will clear the hospital and lay in wait, ready to gun them down. Can you really clear an entire hospital? The siblings think that it's a crazy idea, but he talks them into it: "Let's lie to the church like a fucking family." 

Cut to the ambulances and army jeeps moving Eli to the safe house. Which happens to be his own mansion; is that wise?  Judy, Amber, and the kids join him.

On the third day he rose from the dead:  Meanwhile, Keefe sneaks back to the God Squad compound and tells Keefe: "I'm busting you out of here."  

Wait. When Eli visited, Keefe was already in the tiger cage.  Then he was shot, and they announced that he was in a coma in the Sunday service.  IT'S SUNDAY AGAIN!  Has Keefe been in that cage for over a week?  That would be inconceivably brutal.  Besides it wouldn't fit with the Christ motif: Keefe has to descend "into hell" on Friday, and get resurrected on Sunday.   I think there is a problem with the show's continuity. 

"Are we taking back the house?" Keefe  asks.  I'd be asking a lot more than that, just before I called the police and my lawyer.

"We are ejecting," Kelvin answers. "We'll move in with the rest of the family in the safe house." They run hand-in-hand through the yard to freedom.

This is a significant scene: Kelvin admits that Keefe is a member of the family, and invites a public display of affection that establishes them as a romantic couple.  A scene ago he yelled at Keefe for trying to hold his hand.  Now he initiates it.  

Question: Keefe is wearing only a jockstrap.  Where do they intend to find clothes? Kelvin had to move their stuff out of the master bedroom suite,  but it would still be in the house, right? 

Pizza and Cycle Ninjas:  At the safe house, Keefe goes to work on embedding himself into the family.  First he advises Kelvin to visit his father (and calls him Brother instead of the formal Brother Kelvin).  Then he tries to distract Jesse's kids from the crisis with what he thinks are funny stories.  While they are eating pizza, he notes that as a young boy, he often had pizza for every meal, even for dessert. That's not funny, it's sad.  Where were your parents? 

They are not impressed. 

We cut to Kelvin visiting the comatose Eli.  He admits that the God Squad was kind of dumb, but he just started it to make Eli proud. And invite a lot of musclemen to the steam showers.  He prays, promising to "never succumb to hubris again" if  God heals Eli.  And Eli speaks!  A miracle! The end.

Oh, right, we still have 15 minutes to go.  Jesse, the men in the family, and the mercenaries waiting in the cleared hospital.   Four Cycle Ninjas appear, armed with rifles. One is shot, and the others flee.  Jesse follows, knocks a second off his motorcycle, and shoves a taser up his butt, enacting an anal rape. Gideon chases and subdues the others.  The end.

The full review, with nude photos and explicit sexual discussions, is on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends

[thinkatoryprocess]

Okay and idea for an eventual Ruby Chambers interaction with the Gemstones after they find out Ruby’s parents are “old as fuck”. Judy: Well then it’s not that sad right, if he dies? I’d he’s super old.

Ruby: Your dad’s pretty old. Want me to shoot him in the head in front of you. See if you cry?

Judy: Holy fucking fuck.

Jesse:…..(laughing): Man I like your girlfriend Gideon. Come on let’s get something to eat.

Gideon: She’s not really my…I mean we just met earlier today. It’s too soon for labels…

Judy: She is a psychopath! She just threatened to shoot Daddy in the head!

Jesse: Okay now be fair that was really more of a hypothetical that you pushed her into. Saying she wouldn’t be sad about her daddy dying just cuz he’s old. That’s some cold shit sis. Plus you threaten to shoot people in the head all the time. You put a gun to Kelvin’s temple the other day for eating the last of the cobbler.

Judy: A) I called dibs and B) it wasn’t loaded so who gives a shit.

Amber: I’m just gonna go inside if anyone wants to join me. Honey imma let you and Judy finish up this little…let’s call it a discussion. Ruby it’s a pleasure to meet you but maybe leave the murder threats out her and not bring them inside to Sunday lunch.

Ruby: Yes ma’am. Sorry ma’am. (Gideon and Ruby head inside).

Jesse: Look at her calling you ma’am. Someone was raised with manners not like Pontius’ bitch ex.

Amber: Yeah she seems real sweet and gotta say I love that hair.

Judy: You’re only saying that cause your hair’s red you narcissist!

Jesse (fully ignoring Judy): Yeah we gotta help him lock this down. I love that boy but he’s got no game. His last ex fucking blackmailed us and left us tied up overnight. What was his name again? Scooter?

Amber: Skeeter I think.

Jesse: Either way he sucked balls and I’m glad he’s dead. Ruby is a definite step up. And I’m not just saying that because she’s a woman. If she were a beautiful red headed man putting Judy in her place I would feel the same.

BJ: Well we can’t assume Ruby identifies as a woman. They could be male identified or non binary.

Jesse: Okay I have had to piss for like twenty minutes now. I’m going inside.

No notes just LMAO, everyone intrigued by this arc should see this.

[theunholygrails]

Foolish Games Part 2

Masterlist

A/N: Introducing new characters and some drama! Percy is still sexy as ever :'(.

Warnings: BJ

I woke up to a door slamming so hard it joined the symphony of my pounding headache. I groaned, hoisting myself over the back of the couch to investigate to intrusion. A brunette head of long sweeping hair rushed through the foyer, barreling towards the kitchen. A familiar mop of black hair hurried after.

Reyna was speaking so fast in Spanish my brain scrambled to keep up. I noted lots of curse words followed by a series of sentences too fast I was surprised she even knew what she was saying. Percy was answering in slow measured words, probably fighting a hangover of equal measure. I ducked behind the back of the couch, reaching for my phone plugged in on the coffee table.

It was noon. 2% battery and a couple messages from friends. Nothing from my ex thank gods. Five from Annabeth being nosey. I opened my uber app, squinting in the sunlight breaking through the cream curtains. I managed to get my driver secured.

A door slammed and I winced, peaking to check that they were in another room. I did not immediately spot my dress in the chaotic. I grimaced remembering the midnight swim. When I sat up I finally noticed the white tshirt I wore and the basketball shorts. And then I went rigid remembering what happened after the swim.

“Motherfucker,” I whispered.

Now I really had to get out of this house. I checked the arrival time of my driver. Three minutes away. Great. I made my way on shaky knees to the large wooden front door. My keys were still in the collection dish. I grabbed them quietly and turned the door handle a fraction of an inch before another door slammed open and Reyna came barreling back into the foyer, brown eyes landing promptly on my guilty ass. Behind her, Percy pursed his lips into a thin line and raised both of his hands to lay on top of his head. His biceps strained nicely against the thin t shirt.

“The fuck is this?” Reyna whispered.

“Nothing. Absolutely nothing,” I babbled.

“It’s just Noa, Rey. Gods,” Percy said.

“I can see that, Percy!” She snapped. I was glad her spear was not strapped across her back this morning. “Why is she sneaking out of my house in your clothes?”

“People were swimming last night. Her clothes got wet.”

“I’m sure the fuck they did.”

“Zeus, Rey! You ended it with me. Why does it even matter?”

“Because I still fucking love you! I’m sorry, okay?” She burst out crying and Percy instantly pulled her against his chest. The memory of being in those arms drove me out the door like a nest of hornets.

~~~~

“I’m just saying. You have nothing to feel sorry for,” Annabeth paused to sip her iced coffee. “Unless they get back together and then you sleep with him. But as of right now, you’re good. Trust me. Been on the Percy train. We’re still friends. You’ll get over it. Just a harmless rebound for both of you.”

I groaned, laying my chin on the cool metal table parked outside our favorite coffee shop positioned between our New York apartments. Just two Manhattan women enjoying their Sunday afternoon. The air was cooling as fall neared. I pulled my baseball cap closer to the top of my sunglasses.

“Should I call him?”

“Maybe tomorrow. Let him deal with his relationship drama. Reyna is a lot to deal with. Still nothing from fuckface?”

“Nope and that’s fine.”

“Good for you. We will hydrate you, get you a good dinner, hit the gym before work in the morning and then get back on our bad bitch mental track. Agreed?”

~~~~

“Good Monday, yogis,” I chirped from my desk at the corner of my studio.

The third class was beginning to trickle in and I was settling into my rhythm. Hot yoga was next and hopefully I would sweat out all the negativity I’d allowed lately. I was in the middle of emailing back a potential client when someone rapped at the wood of my desk. I glanced up to a blonde male who waved gently.

“Heya, sansei Noa,” he said.

“That’s karate. Can I help you?”

“Do you do trial classes?”

I hit send on my email and closed my laptop. The guy was built like a poser with the defined muscles and chiseled jaw but his voice was soft and tempered. He was clean shaven and dressed like a basic gym bro.

“Normally you have to schedule them beforehand because of class size,” I gave my standard answer.

“Right, my bad. Sorry. I was just passing by the front and it looked like the kind of place I needed right now. Can I go ahead and pick a date then?”

I was staring too long into his pale blue eyes, honed in on the polite response. A nice change from the daily demanding consumers. “You know what? Ive got space right now if you like? Have you ever done hot yoga?”

A brilliant white smile showcasing sharp canines. “My favorite.”

“Perfect. I just need a name, number and email to get you a file started.”

He leaned large hands on my desk. “It’s Luke Castellan.”

Before he could give the contact information, I cut him off. “Wait. I know you.” His tanned skin paled significantly.

“I…”

“You’re supposed to be dead!” I blurted out.

His eyes skated around the room and he leaned in closer. “That’s not supposed to be public knowledge. I assume you’re a demigod?”

“Luke, you trained me. We took fucking sculpting together. The Apollo table was right next to the Hermes one for fuck’s sake.”

He winced. I heard a murmuring from the rest of my class I was disturbing with my volume. I collected my shock finally. “Take a seat if you want. We should talk after class. I need to start.”

“Okay. Thank you. I’m sorry Noa.”

I waved him off and walked over to my yoga mat. I sat cross legged and drew in an even breath to smooth out my emotions.

It was a slow 30 minute class. Each pose and movement dragged on. Finally, I dismissed the group and nodded Luke outside. He was waiting on the bench outside of the studio I split renting with a few other instructors. I sat next to him, wiping sweat from my face with the towel slung over my pink sports bra.

“Alright, talk,” I said.

“Not much to say. I was given a second chance at my hearing. Here I am. Starting over.” A shrug of well-defined shoulders. The muscles flexed beneath his gleaming sweat. His red tank top stuck to his chest and stomach. “I wish I remembered you, truly. That time is such a blur in my life.”

“It’s ok. You were a lot older than me and to be honest I had a massive crush on you so I probably hid most of the time.”

A surprised smile slipped across his lips. “I’m assuming the betrayal helped you get over that?”

I laughed outloud, slapping his knee. “No shit! So where are you staying these days?”

“Just around the corner actually. Got a job at the local gym.”

“Yeah I bet the fuck you did.” I squeezed his forearm between both of my hands. I wanted to roll my eyes at me falling back into my school girl giddy at him. Betrayal of the gods aside. He was even more gorgeous than ever. The scar down his face gave him a dark sexy vibe. Like a bad boy even though he claimed he was rehabbing himself now.

“So how, did you feel about the class?”

“I mean, I’d like to sign up for it a couple times a week, that’s for sure. And I’d like to take you out to dinner to make up for not remembering a beauty like you.”

I almost bit my cheek biting out the response of “Yes!”

“You’ve got my number,” he said, chuckling quietly. “I’ve got to get to work.” He shouldered his gym bag and excused himself.

The bike back to my apartment was spent reliving my tween fantasies about bad boy Luke. I opened my apartment door and screeched seeing a man sitting at my kitchen counter. Percy turned to face me.

“You know you live in New York? You should really lock that.”

“It was!” I snapped.

A quick grin. “Yeah. But it was easy to break into.”

I dropped my bag onto the floor and brushed past him to get a protein shake from the fridge. “I have to shower and get prepared for my night classes.” I told him.

“I know. I’m sorry I didn’t call earlier.”

I shrugged. “I didn’t either.”

He paused, studying my face in the shitty lighting of the single bulb hanging between us over the counter. “Are we good, Noa?”

“Of course. What’s a little head between friends?”

“Okay…I can’t read you. Can you not play tough just for a minute?”

I chugged the shake and set the bottle down between us. I leaned my arms on the chilled counter, bun knocking against the light. “Honestly, Percy. I’m fine. We are good.”

“Reyna moved back in.”

“You’re engaged again?”

I drank from the empty bottle to give myself something to do. He watched me with those green eyes. He’d known me for far too long. He was nearly impossible to deceive, but I was determined today. The fact that I had dreamt of fucking him two consecutive nights was irrelevant if he was off the table. Even if his lips did look incredibly juicy tonight. Even if they had done near illicit things to me just nights ago.

“I don’t know. She said she wanted to work on things. And it’s her dad’s house, so I can’t ask her to go and I don’t want to go to my mom’s and admit defeat.”

“You know you could stay here, Perc.”

He worked his jaw silently, then rubbed his hands over his face. “Thanks. I do know. Even if we aren’t officially back together, I think we should work on it…” he trailed off.

“And not tell her about you eating me out?” I leaned closer because I was mean to both him and myself. Because I knew this top combined with this angle gave him a simple opportunity. And he took it.

His tongue slid out between his lips as his eyes flicked down, stayed, then dragged deliberately back up. “Probably not,” he agreed.

For a long moment neither of us said anything. He had more to lose now than me. We were no longer on equal playing fields. So, I left the ball in his court. “I’m going to go shower.”

I was done washing in the first ten minutes. The second ten was giving him a little wiggle room to decide. I had my hand on the faucet to cut off the water that was beginning to go cold when I heard the door creak open. I watched through the fogged glass, catching a hold of my breath. I watched as he tugged his shirt off. My stomach flipped over itself when he reached for his jeans. What had I done?

The opening door let in a rush of cool air, perking my skin to attention. My eyes raked unapologetically over his naked, aroused body. His dark hair quickly slicked against his stubble covered jaw. His eyes were no longer the sea green but murky like the deep water of the ocean.

“Hey,” he said quietly, cautiously.

“Hey,” I giggled, reaching out to touch his rough jaw. He winced, catching my hand with his. “We probably shouldn’t kiss again.”

“Sure, whatever you want, Percy. What can I do to you?”

He groaned, turning his mouth into my palm, scraping teeth against the vulnerable skin. “Touch me,” he said.

My free hand instantly planted against his chest, scraping at the muscle. His eyes fluttered closed, head tilting back to expose his throat. I slid my other hand into his thick hair, tugging it tightly between my fingers and pulling to grant myself more access to the strong column of his neck. I bit it first, backing him into the tiled wall when he shuddered. I kissed over the reddening skin and moved my hands to his flat stomach, feeling the shuddered breaths beneath my touch.

“Like this?” I asked.

His reply was unintelligible. I kissed down his chest, moving my hand lower still as I went. When my fingers brushed over the v-line of his hips, I shifted my route away from the center and to his thighs. An annoyed grunt escaped his lips. “Hush,” I scolded, getting my knees under me. The now cold water was hitting the back of my neck and flowing down my body. I placed my hands on the inside of both his thighs, trailing them upwards and upwards until he nearly contorted when I gripped him. He let out a scandalous string of curses that quickly turned to moaning silence when I took him into my mouth.

He unraveled in minutes and I let him cum all over the breasts I had teased him with earlier. I rose in front of him, my own rosy cheeks mirroring his. “Now we’re even.”

[kirikiribaku]

bnha 292: horikoshi what the fuck

(more angry thoughts under the cut, beware spoilers)

So could someone explain to me what the fuck is going on in this week’s chapter?! Why am I feeling so utterly disappointed at everything?

Chapter 290 was a freakin’ BLAST. It was a really amazing chapter because it gave something we all had been waiting for and it delivered. Dabi’s “I’m Todoroki Touya” reveal was everything I ever wanted, it was exciting and heartbreaking, and so so satisfying, we got to see Endeavour in despair over something he can’t control and he oh so badly deserved! It was Touya’s moment to shine and he was having the time of his life! It was amazing!

Then chapter 291 happened and SUDDENLY AND OUT OF NOWHERE Best Jeanist isn’t dead. No, this is not okay. I was so angry because, again, this came out of nowhere and also bc I believe people will cling to this comeback to take credibility away from Touya’s broadcast. 

And I thought: “oh well, it can’t be helped, I mean the heroes are gonna win in the end probably so I can put up with a little bit of this deus ex machina for the heroes’ hope’s sake”

BUT THEN CHAPTER 292. MAN. MAN WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS.

Not only is Best Jeanist being a complete asshole to Touya (which I get to some extent, I mean Dabi is still a villain and his actions are not justified by his abuse and all that) but BJ is telling him not to turn his family issues into hero drama and i’m like????? hello???? do you really believe you would all be better off not knowing about endeavour’s abuse???? do you think he (touya) should be over it???

and then, to top it all, MIRIO SHOWS UP, WITH HIS POWERS RESTORED.

and don’t get me wrong, I’m so happy that our sunshine boy is back. but seriously NOT RIGHT NOW, NOT LIKE THIS.  again, just��where did he come from???!!

This is starting to feel a lot like the cheap writing in kids’ movies where the heroes are losing against the villain and all hope seems lost when suddenly and very conveniently something happens (someone comes, unexpected help arrives) and they win and everyone is happy. (have y’all watched Rise of the Guardians? yeah, sandman).

anyways, the official translation isn’t out yet so I’ll have to wait until Sunday to let this anger and frustration consume me. I don’t know what’s gonna happen in the next chapters, but 290 set my expectations reaaally high and I’m on a downfall right now.

[neonnhoney-rec]

Min Yoongi

Here are a few yoongi recs, most of them I've read and love, some are in my TBR. Tbh most of them are smut, but some are fluff and angst mostly angst. I will keep updating this woop woop.

I hope you enjoy tehee!

revenge- @lustfuldevils

fuck boy yoongs

request: yoongi teaches you to give a bj- @kpurereactions

says it on the tin

Theres no need to be nervous around Yoongi, he’ll take care of you and make you feel good no matter what it is you’re doing.

sangria- @minstrivia

a day at the beach has yoongi hornier than he’d like to admit.

missing link- @drquinzelharleen

You catch Yoongi playing with himself before a night out and some part of you wants to join him. That’s crazy though, he’s your best friend… Right?

talk- @httpjeon​

you walk in on yoongi on the phone with a customer

act on it- @dom-joonie

You learn that the cute barista you’ve been crushing on might have an…otherworldly disposition after you accidentally cut yourself.

too sweet- @justoneday-namjoonii

you smell so sweet to them the best they’ve ever had (vampire au)

moving to a university with a few secrets, has you falling for these boys who need your help

too hot to sleep- @gamerguk

“ Umm can’t wait to get rawed in our kitchen when I’m living with the love of my life ” 

can you turn off your phone- @btssavemylifeblr

Yoongi’s alarm clock wakes you up at 6 am on a Sunday and you are not happy about it.  At least, not at first…

grey area- @blushoseoks

and just like that, your fate was sealed - because min yoongi was absolutely going to destroy you. but hell if you weren’t going to let him, or bask happily in the flames as he did so. 

and sadly, at the time, you didn’t think that your thoughts would become so literal.

dancing with the devil- @minnpd​

suga daddy suga

asphodel- @hayjeon

A series of drabbles and moments surrounding Hades, the god of death and Persephone, the goddess of nature

lifeguard yoongi- @gukgalore

who knew making eyes at a hot lifeguard would get you what you really wanted.

yoongi cums in his pants- @hobiorbit

dry humping yoongi till cums in his pants cause its hot

boy .girl- @floralseokjin

Boy. Girl. It’s as simple as that. Girl can’t get a good date—scrap that—girl can’t get a good lay, and boy is willing to help out with that… Friends with benefits seems the perfect solution, except for the fact, it’s not. It never is. Not when boy already has feelings for girl…

Evil- @littlemisskookie

Your life is pretty boring, apart from being the Alpha of your pack. But it gets a bit more exciting when you discover Yoongi wants to spend his heat with none other than you.

Bet i can make you cum without touching your cock- @cyphertrip

says it on the tin

boseong breakfast- @honeymoonjin

it may be misfortune that brings you to min yoongi’s door looking for a place to stay, but luckily holly lodge has a vacancy.

Love is for birds baby- @mininky

You refuse to believe in love. It’s a concept created by big corporations like hallmark to get sad saps like you to buy their shit. But it’s all fake. You’re convinced of that at least until a series of events with a certain tattoo artist who you loved to hate makes you question everything you’ve ever known.

Hands- @moonlightchildz

hand fetish? is that a thing?

Producer!yoongi- @matchakoo

where yoongi’s song plays over a really serene and domestic smut scene 

Please be naked- @floralseokjin 

ou find it’s easy to become addicted to a distraction…

Lonely hearts club-  @joonbird

 “In this world, currency is not money but life, and those who cannot repay their debts have no choice but to submit for the Separation - a procedure in which the soul and mind are extracted from their bodies, leaving behind nothing but an empty shell. Jeon Jungkook is an underground tattoo artist hiding from the outside world. She has been waiting her whole life to be Separated. They were never supposed to meet - let alone fall in love.”

- or -

“Two lonely hearts collide.”

Rose garden dreams- @glossgf

you, a princess not yet betrothed, and your knight, Yoongi, have fallen in love. But what happens when a prince asks for your hand in marriage? What will you and Yoongi do then…?

single parent au- @yukheii​

your daughter is very fond of yoongi

Us, plus two- @deathbyyoongi

You and Yoongi sharing a moment, relishing in the glow of your growing family when your daughter has a nightmare, and Yoongi has to take care of those pesky monsters.

When the power goes out- @inkjam-moon

When a storm causes the electricity to go out, it becomes to dark in the apartment to study, so you and Yoongi have to find another way to pass the time.

Conveniently- @baeseoul

you live above a convenience store with your daughter, owned by a rather attractive yoongi. this is the story of how u and your daughter gained another member to your little family.

Destruction of a muse- @baeseoul

you’re in your last year of uni doing literature and lose your motivation, and it’s not till you meet a talented musician you get your ambition back. a. lot. of. angust.

Long distance-  @miss-noo-na

Yoongi misses the sound of your voice.

Conjecture-  @writingsofmyimagination​

Your management refused to renew your contract unless you collaborated, so you ending up working with Min Yoongi. A guy you’d disliked from before both of your debuts. There is more to their past than meets the eye.

Photoshoot tease- @shooting-stars-library

“Min Yoongi is a sexy little shit and he knows it.”

What if-  @blameblamebts

Being in a gang wasn’t a good thing, and it never would be, always looked down upon. But it isn’t what people think it to be. It’s worse. Much worse.

Aawake at night- @softyoongiionly​

You can’t sleep. Luckily, your boyfriend can’t either. 

Clair de lune- @yoonia

You were ready to leave a part of your life to move on to the next, and he is willing to give you a chance to end it glamorously. But at what cost? And will he be a part of the life you are leaving behind or will he be there for the next part of it? 

Reflections- @yoonia

“How could I ever forget about you" parent au

Faded- @yoonia

You were his soulmate, that part he knew well. Until one day he didn’t want you anymore. He couldn’t, when all he could see from you was light and all he felt within himself was darkness. Your love has gone cold as he retreated from you, burying himself deep in the dark. But what happened when Yoongi had to watch you start over with somebody else, when Yoongi let his selfishness gain control on him of you.

Monday- @strwberrytae

It’s that special time a month that brings you great pain yet great joy. Sure, there’s cramps and absolute uncomfort but your little monthly friend makes you insanely horny. Needy and desperate for a release that only your boyfriend can provide, will he cave and give you what you want?

Makeshift chemistry- @jungblue

Fleeting lust was all you’d ever known, nothing serious or long lasting, just a temporary fix to satisfy your needs. That is until you meet Min Yoongi who is determined to put an end to your binge of makeshift relationships.

What you did last summer- @winetae

Yoongi was fine with a lot of things—you maxing out his credit cards to buy ridiculously expensive items of clothing that you never wore more than once, you taking out his newest ride for a spin without permission, you spending an extra thirty minutes on your hair and makeup when he was running late for a dinner function. 

What he was not okay with, however, was you sharing your pussy with barely-out-of-college boys who were incapable of going five seconds without creaming their pants.

No, that was where he drew the line.

Bad boys bring it to you- @yuengi​

tattoo artist yoongi

Fortuna- @readyplayerhobi

300 years ago, half the world’s population died when the experimental Fortuna virus escaped. The remaining male population has been rendered infertile with one loophole that has meant polyamorous relationships have become the norm.

Crescendo- @dreamyjoons

after hours of waiting for the grumpy pianist to leave the stage, you finally have it out with him in a way better than you could have imagined. 

Restraint-  @writingsofmyimagination​

As Jungkook’s best friend recently moved to Seoul, there is one of the boys you have yet to meet. This one has a dark secret and has to use all the restraint he can to control himself around you.

Curious- @honeymoonjin

Taehyung confides in you and your boyfriend Yoongi that he might be bi, and the two of you offer to let him experiment with you to find out. 

Gingham- @ropeseok​

There’s no place like home! At least, that’s how Yoongi felt after a long night of taking the little one trick-or-treating. He can’t wait to take his costume off - however, he seems to insist that you keep yours on.​

Somebody else- @jamaisjoons

yoongi doesn’t want you anymore. but he can’t stand watching you with someone else. post break up au.

Do you love me-  @caribbeanempressblog

Yoongi is bad at feelings

Love well done- @oraclemarie

You are the executive chef of your very own fine dining restaurant. A big company makes you the offer of a lifetime, setting you on a path straight to Min Yoongi-your drunken hook up. 

Pepero day- @kittae

Valentine’s with your best friend, yoongi

The last- @kittae

When the world’s gone to shit and you’ve taught yourself to stay alive while danger lurks around every corner, the last thing you need is another mouth to feed and extra “dead” weight. Yet you can’t bring yourself to leave another human being behind, and it might as well have been your worst decision ever… or was it the best?

Baby’s fist christmas- @hobisbeautifulass​

3 months after you give birth to your first child, you and your husband start putting together the perfect first Christmas for your new family of three.

This is just to say  – @btsiguess

To say it’s unusual to have a soulmate is an understatement, and most people desperately wish to have an elegant name scrawled upon their wrist. In reality though, you’d have to say it causes much more issues than it solves.

I like you – @iq-biased

A surprise visit from a friend leaves Yoongi with a night to remember, and something to say

Small things- @floralseokjin

you and vamp yoongi have an argument

Daddy diaries- @bts-reveries

yoongi started blogging his life on his social medias to prove everyone who thought he couldn’t raise a child alone wrong. but as his daughter’s birthday draws near, what happens when she wishes for a new mom?

Drink me- @njssi​

Your vampire boyfriend refuses to bite you in fear of not being able to stop himself. But you always get what you want.

Rule of thirst- @prolixitae

vampires were just folklore until yoongi became one. now he’s got only two emotions: you and hunger. and tonight, you let him feed off you.

A ticket to the sun- @seokeros​ (ao3)

In a world where a person's life is determined by a piece of paper on a monthly basis, love is practically impossible. But there's always an exception, and with that exception, there comes a price.

Alt: yoongo gets punched in the face by a girl who believes she is cursed, and he stupidly, helplessly, falls in love.

Wildest moments- @joonbird

“Min Yoongi is forbidden territory. And although you both know better, the two of you just can’t seem to stay apart.”

Breakfast in bed- @joonbird

“Min Yoongi, a grumpy Ikea employee, is wondering who you are and why exactly you’re sleeping in the display bed at his Ikea.”

Hyung, open the door- @gotmetalkinginmysleep

You’ve been keeping the boys awake with your moaning for months thanks to Yoongi. Tae and Jungkook want to find out why.

The singularity theory- @dovechim

in your last year of undergrad, you find out what a gloryhole is at the expense of your final year thesis. it’s a classic example of a psychology experiment that went way, way wrong. 

You look like you need a drink- @dark-muse-iris

After a bad week with the worst luck imaginable, you happen upon a local dive bar run by an attractive young bartender who livens up your evening.

The married life- @jungnoir

being married is never a bore when your husband is a vampire king + inspired by  “Stop calling me Princess!” “I apologize, my Queen.”.

Taxi- @honeyedhoseok

 ❛  Drinks at a bar + a rainy night + a single taxi to share with the bane of your existence, Min Yoongi = one interesting car ride back to your apartment.  ❜ 

First love- @writing-in-ivory

You first saw him in the multi-purpose room. Later learn his name, and on your third year, as he becomes your neighbor, you discover his lifestyle. Knowing your crush on him was nothing but that, you wanted to find the courage to look for love. Asking your friend for help, you’re pointed in the direction of the expert. Your neighbor, Min Yoongi. 

pugna- @jungwoohoos

he showed up at your doorstep one day, covered in cuts and testing your patience. you don’t know why, but you felt compelled to help him. you just don’t realize how deep that runs

Mean yoongi- @jjkpls

Min Yoongi asks you to take care of his plants when he’s gone. It doesn’t go as planned and well, he has to deal with your misbehaving ass.

Sour skittles- @softyoongiionly

WELCOME TO GLASSCLAW! The only city where you can get a homecooked meal and a hitman all on the same street! You moved to GlassClaw for a fresh start after a group of raiders invaded your previous compound. Unbeknownst to you, the city has its own collection of riff raff and, at the head of it all is your neighbor Min Yoongi. The mischevious merchant with one hell of a sailor mouth is known for swindling the rich and, serving the poor. The world has become convoluted and chaotic since the apocalypse but, two things were certain: You were so much more than pretty face and, Yoongi was so much more than just a thief.

Life’s little joys-  @littlemeowmeowschimmy

getting pregers with yoongi

Fear and dumplings-  @softyoongiionly

You’re in your final semester at University when your Abnormal Psychology professor assigns you a partnered project surrounding your greatest fears. Lucky for you, your partner just so happens to be a cute boy named Min Yoongi.

Min yoongi, library services- @kpopfanfictrash

When you accept the the offered research position at Bangtan University, you are well aware of your partner’s prestige. The only problem is - so is he.

Behind the stick-  @randombtsprincessa

Your bartender for the night and you take an interest in one another.

Mic drop- @ve1vetyoongi

when underground rapper min yoongi uncovers the dirty secret behind his biggest rival, your brother and hip hop champion kim namjoon’s success, he is determined to take home this year’s mic drop contest trophy no matter who he hurts along the way. you’re behind the camera, content with capturing namjoon’s picture perfect persona from the sidelines but when his hard-faced enemy Gloss, makes you realise you could be more than just the point and shoot, you start to feel your loyalties shifting.

Pinewood and poetry- @spicykoreantatertots

After getting closer to and developing a crush on your friend over the summer, you want nothing more than to cozy up to him as the seasons start to change. That is until your ex-boyfriend, Jung Hoseok, returns from his summer study abroad program. Will Hoseok stand in the way of your budding romance with your mutual friend, Min Yoongi?

His hands- @nahfamily

You hadn’t ever paid much attention to Min Yoongi until a stupid icebreaker at your office. Now, you can’t get him, and his hands, out of your head

Birthday boy- @btssmutgalore

Yoongi wants to give his best friend Jimin the perfect birthday gift… And it just so happens to be you.

Happy valentine’s day- @sweetwritertanya​

You have a very special idea for this Valentine’s Day, focused completely on your boyfriend Yoongi who comes home to an unexpected surprise. 

Happy birthday- @parkmuse

Your boyfriend Jimin has a bit of a surprise for you on your birthday, and he goes by the name of Yoongi.

Arranged-  @minyoongijjangjjangmanboongboong

Y/N is a struggling student in Seoul: working multiple jobs, living in a broom closet apartment, and often sacrificing her dignity for the sake of her livelihood. What happens when a handsome stranger presents her with an offer she cannot refuse at the moment she needs it most?

This tiny space-  @ubemango

Yoongi was always attractive—your sexy piece of ass, as you like to remind him often—and seeing the tight skin of his back when he undresses further makes the insides of your stomach churn in want: the kind that made you want to fall to your knees, grovel. You love having a kid, but it’s been too long.

The boa constrictor-  @tatertotthethot

You’ve always had a bad habit of drinking copious amounts of water just before going to bed every night, and for some reason, you always seem to forget that it’ll eventually lead to you having to wake up a few hours later with a dire need to pee. 

Dope- @honeymoonjin

The HSD is a branch of the South Korean government tasked with taking down the most infallible criminals in Seoul’s underbelly. Kim Namjoon, or RM, is their next target: the extremely well-spoken and careful leader of a cocaine dealing gang.

Listen closely- @avveh

Unintentionally, you stumble upon something that makes you view your coworker Min Yoongi in a whole new light.

The truth between us- @jimlingss

a book deal should be the most exciting time of your life, but there seems to be a constant and omnipresent damper on your mood in the form of a certain min yoongi, who you would just cut out from your life, if he weren’t your editor. but then, the world shifts beneath your feet, and you begin to wonder if maybe you’ve always been looking at life from the wrong angle. 

Surround me- @minflix

after a very unfair and unjust firing from his bartending job, yoongi just wants to soothe his sadness by spending some quality time with his best friend - who he is very much in love with.

Cockwarming – @gukgalore​

Ngl the thought of cockwarming Yoongi is the only thing keeping me going at this point

Havana- @inkjam-moon​

You’ve spent the last six years following in your parents footsteps all the way to Cuba, trying to make them proud by finishing their research, but when you join forces with a snarky boat owner who knows more than he lets on, will things play out the way you planned them?

The equation of  love- @kookingtae​

When you met Yoongi in a club, you thought it was fate that brought the two of you together. But after you walked into your college math class for the very first time, you weren’t so sure anymore.

Workaholic- @hobiwonder​

Yoongi needs to relax and Hoseok has many tricks up his sleeve to make him. None of them Yoongi thought included hiring a hooker to pay him a visit one stormy night. 

Different- @satisfractions​

in which tattooartist!yoongi meets floral!reader because he needs to practice drawing flowers for his job

Salud- @yukheii

ninja yoongi (Naruto au)

Toke temptation-  @strawbxxymilk​

You accidentally confess your feelings to Yoongi during a smoke sesh

Accidents- @jungxk​

dad!yoongi makes me soft and also h*rny

Fists- @badbhye​​

reader’s first time

The early shift-  @hobidreams​

your coworker yoongi is always infuriatingly late. except the one time he’s much too early.

Mixtape- @jungblue​

Two mystery students from your college run the podcast dubbed ‘mixtape.’ It’s become a sort of phenomenon around campus, listened to by almost everyone. In their most recent episode they discussed various study methods… One of them being oh so tempting.

Three squeezes-  @nomnomsik​

Yoongi is notorious for his grumpy and emotionless behavior as director of an upcoming company. Yet, it’s a mystery to everyone how manager Hoseok always seems to soften him up. The truth is that the two are actually engaged. Unknown to this fact, you happen to take an interest in Hoseok… and he does too. 

Yoongi cums in his pants- @gukgalore​

where u and yoongi are making out and u start grinding on him, and he tells u to stop bc he’s gonna cum his pants. But u don’t and he acc does cum his pants

Kitten- @yminie​

Yoongi’s focus on work has subjected your relationship to having a dry spell, and with a little prompting from your best friend, you tell him exactly what he should do. But you don’t make the rules kitten, and the game you’re choosing to play is a dangerous one.

Wine- @junghelioseok​

he makes staying after-hours absolutely worthwhile. restaurant au

Renatus- @mininky​

(y/n) finds herself in a very unusual situation where her fate seems to be woven with Hades himself, who’s too much of a jerk for her to even admit that sure okay he’s kind of really good looking.​

Cobalt and charcoal- @tayegi​

soulmate au

Touch of silk-  @floralseokjin​ 

In a world where vampires coexist with the living, there are many humans looking for a cheap thrill…you’re ashamed to admit you’re curious too, putting to good use a dating app you find…but Min Yoongi is nothing like you imagined a vampire to be…

[prodigyduck]

That Time I Almost Got Mercedes Lackey Killed...

So let me tell you about Gen Con 2018 and how I almost got Award-Winning novelist Mercedes Lackey killed...

 To get the story started, you'll need to know that I am acquainted with New York Times Best Selling Novelists Larry Dixon and Mercedes Lackey. If you are unfamiliar with their work:

 * Misty is the author of over 100 fantasy novels. She also has a successful superhero series under her belt. And despite being in her 60s, does not look like she is going to stop writing anytime soon.

 * Larry is also an author, who has collaborated with Misty on several Valdemar novels. He is a fantastic illustrator. Both are avid bird enthusiasts. Remember the giant eagles from Lord of the Rings? Those are thanks to the film and footage taken by Larry. The same footage has been used by Weta Workshop to create the griffons in the Narnia and Warcraft films.

 So, anywho...

 Larry recently succumbed to an old shoulder injury he received during his days as a volunteer fire fighter. It was pretty bad. He had limited mobility, had to wear a sling, and could not lift more than 5 pounds for risk of tearing his shoulder out of its socket. As it was only three weeks from Gen Con, and they had already promised their fans they would be there, Larry asked if I could drive Misty to Gen Con and watch over her during the convention. They were also going to be sharing a booth space with my favorite independent film crew Zombie Orpheus Entertainment; for whom Larry has been doing script writing recently.

 Previous to this, I was not planning to attend Gen Con this year. Financially, 2018 has not been a good year for me. I have been making enough money to pay my share of the household bills and groceries. But I have not been making enough to save up for extra fun things like vacations or conventions. Ah, the life of a freelancer! So, getting asked to go to Gen Con was made me very happy. Knowing that the room and expenses would be covered helped greatly! All I really needed to do was acquire a badge and save up as much money as I could for the next three weeks to have a little extra spending cash for the dealer room.

 In the three weeks leading up to Gen Con, I had managed to accumulate about $300 of extra spending cash. Not bad, but not nearly as much as I usually have to spend in previous years. However, the week before we leave, Rogue Genius Games drops $1,500 on me for recent sales of my newly-released Super Powered Legends Sourcebook. Suddenly, all of my financial worries for Gen Con vanish! Yay!

 Sunday -- four days before Gen Con -- my friends marc and Tom drop me off at Larry and Misty's home so I can spend the next day helping with packing and sorting. About 10 AM Monday morning, we have a tsunami roll through the area and it knocks out the electricity. Given the rural area, the power does not get turned back on until 4 AM the following day. Needless to say, we were able to get nothing done with no power available. Tuesday is a mad rush to get everything done that we had not done Monday. Books are packed, posters and art prints are signed, Larry is trying to put EVERYTHING in the Ford Flex -- and I do mean everything! He wants us to take a giant printer, camera tripods, and several Go-Pros for ZOE to use. My foot goes down at 3 PM. Nothing more is going in that vehicle and we are leaving. Larry is literally trying to give us more stuff as we are backing out of the driveway. Bye, Larry... bye!

 Once we get on the road, everything goes smoothly! We have driven through St.  Louis, Missouri around 9 PM and stop at a Motel for the night at 10 PM. The next morning, we awaken at 11, get some breakfast, and go. According to the GPS, we are only three and a half hours from Indianapolis. And, thanks to smooth traffic, we get there in that time. Check in to our hotel, I go and grab my badge from the VIG Lounge, deliver some buttons I made for BJ Hensley, and all is good!

 Thursday, everything goes great. I escort Misty to all her seminars. At the first one, I get to meet the authors of the Expanse! When we get to her autograph signing time, she lets me know that I am free to do what I want for the rest of the day, and I go through the dealer room. First day of Gen Con done! That evening, Misty lets me know that she only has one seminar to attend at 4 PM the next day and that she will otherwise be at the ZOE booth until then. I am otherwise free to do what I want until 4.

 Then Friday...

 Misty's 9:00 alarm goes off and she re-sets it. But she does not get out of bed. Seeing she wants more sleep, I make quick use of the bathroom, dress, and make my way out. It's 10:00 Misty is still asleep, as far as I can tell. I am standing in line to sell some miniatures at the CoolStuffInc booth when Larry calls me at 11:30 to tell me that Misty has had a stroke and my stomach drops to my feet. She is currently at the hospital. I run back to the room, and try to answer all the doctor's questions that I can. I pack an overnight bag for Misty, which is grabbed by her ZOE handler, Judy, and taken to the hospital. Otherwise, I am in the hotel room alone for most of the day, fretting and worried. I get calls every couple of hours for updates. At 4, I am coaxed out of the room by Larry, who convinces me to put on my game face and help show the con that we are still there for the fans. The show must go on.

 I still can't help but feel like shit because I was not there for Misty when she needed me.

 I finally get some food -- my first in the day -- about 9 PM.

 Saturday, I am awoken by a phone call. Misty is okay. I was NOT a stroke. In fact, it was a toxic reaction to the outgassing of the new room we were staying in. The hotel wanted to impress Misty with its newest-refurbished room, not realizing they needed to let it vent from all the paint and redecorating. And given we were 11 stories up, none of the windows are able to open for outdoor ventilation. But, Misty is otherwise okay. I am up and out to the ZOE booth. The show must go on. We are here for the fans!

 I have a curtain call for the Gamers: LIVE! show at 11:40 AM. At 11:20, Misty calls me to say I should gather my things in the room, as the hotel will be moving us to a room that is not so... newly refurbished; one that has already undergone its full outgassing period. I am internally screaming my entire way to the room, throw everything into my suitcase on the bed, and run all the way back to ICC 500, where the show will be. I am pouring sweat from what should have been a 30 minute round-trip done in 15 minutes. But I am there for the show!

 Obviously, I sucked, because I have no improv skills -- especially when compared to the comedy talent of the ZOE crew -- which is why I quit acting during my Jr. High School years. But where I missed out on improv, I excelled at artistic comedy; holding up quick illustrations of goblins going "pew-pew-pew" after Owen Stephens suggested the villain of the show was a space ("SPACE!") goblin. Close to the end of the show, Satine Phoenix and Rudy Rootenburg appear, along with the rest of the Maze Arcana crew, and steal the show. This is the first time Satine and I have meet in person. We have spoken many times over private chat; both being fans of tabletop rpgs and both being professional artists. She gave me the biggest hug.

 At that moment, I realized something... I was no longer sweating (thank the gods!), but I was no daisy either. Also... Satine Phoenix is a fucking ANGEL! She just... radiates... positively, joy, compassion, love... all the things that are good and wonderful and being a human. I really hope I get to meet her again, maybe for more than 5 minutes.

 After the show, I return to the (new) hotel room to find Misty there with several of her author friends. They are laughing and talking about the experience Misty just had. As Misty describes it: "I have never been to Woodstock, but last night I went to Woodstock! Those hallucinations were something!" She went on to describe seeing a woman with brown hair and an astronaut suit standing in between the paramedics who took her from the hotel room. She saw visions of the actors from ZOE, and all the different characters each of them played, having a rave. In the MRI, she saw a sheet of  red blood cells covering her. As the MRI machine made a noise, the sheet got closer and closer to her face. Misty was aware that if she blew her breath at the sheet, it would be pushed away...

 Yeah... she has new material for her next several novels.

 By Saturday afternoon, Misty is back at the ZOE booth, signing books for fans and telling the story of what happened to her to each one. All of them are crying, glad that their favorite author is not dead. I am sitting next to Misty, putting on my brave face and trying not to break down, either... I still feel like crap for not having been there for her when she needed me. but she's safe. She's smiling.

 The rest of Gen Con goes smoothly. The drive back goes so smoothly that we get Misty home in one day (apparently I have my father's endurance for long-distance driving). I call my friend Marc and ask if he is willing to pick me up. I really want to sleep in my own bed. It's been over a week, and I want to be home. Marc does, indeed pick me up, and I recall all of this to him on the three-hour drive home.

 It's 2 AM on Tuesday when I get to sleep in my own bed. At this point, I am really glad that I had the forethought to wash my sheets before I left for Gen Con. I was tired of smelling my own body odor. I slept so good that night.

[angryhausfrau-writes]

Something Old and Something New - Chapter 4: Eat of This Bread and Drink of This Cup

“All right BJ. What the hell is wrong with you?”

Peg sets the plate of breakfast and mug of coffee on the table with deliberate care. And she's whispering – but that doesn't keep BJ's head from feeling like a freight train's running through it. He hasn't been this hungover in... well, a while, anyway.

All he can do in answer is groan pitifully.

“Not that I'm not sympathetic-” Peg says, with emphasis, though still at a whisper. BJ's head rings. “-but I'm going to need more of an answer than that.”

“Please, honey, can we talk about this later.” Like when he's alive.

Peg looks at him sharply, assessing whether her husband's being honest or not. He's weaseled his way out of conversations about this before, after all. But he just looks so pitiful right now.

“All right, dear. But we are talking about this.”

He groans in a way that must sound affirmative because Peg heads towards the living room. The sound of her heels on the linoleum crack like gunshots against the inside of BJ's skull and he lets his head fall into the cradle of his folded arms. He's in big fucking trouble and too hungover to think of a way to sweet talk himself out of it.

But he should at least make sure he's capable of human speech for this discussion. BJ shovels a forkfull of eggs into his mouth and even chewing hurts but he feels better after several cups of coffee and an aspirin. And a shower helps even more – the water hot enough he looks like a boiled lobster afterwards but he's able to look his reflection in the eye as he brushes his teeth.

BJ doesn't particularly like what he sees in the mirror, but at least he can stand to look.

Eventually, BJ can't put off going back downstairs another minute. He's clean and dressed and he's set his office back to rights.

That had been – that had been difficult.

He'd wrecked a few photographs, the frames twisted and splintered, the smiling faces of his family and the 4077 obscured behind spiderwebbing cracks. It makes him feel guilty, but it's fixable. BJ sweeps up the glass and rescues the pictures from the wreckage of the room to be put in new frames.

But there's nothing he can do about the pile of confetti he made out of some of Hawkeye's letters – the ones that mentioned Trapper most often, by the looks of what's missing from the box of envelopes. And that. That really fucks him up. To know that he was angry enough, drunk and out of control enough, to destroy something so precious.

He has few enough connections to Hawkeye - to what they meant to each other - to go around destroying them like that. But there's nothing he can do about it now except gather the pieces and throw them into the trash, paper falling like snow to gently cover the rest of the broken shambles of his office. That done, BJ really has no more excuses not to go downstairs to find Peg. To talk to her.

BJ thinks maybe his office could use another round of tidying up.

Peg is an immovable boulder. BJ won't be able to shift her or persuade her to put this off again or sneak past her. She will sit here as long as it takes for BJ to come to her, to apologize to her for last night, to tell her what, exactly, the fuck is going on with him right now. But that doesn't mean that Peg isn't an impatient boulder.

She crosses her legs, ankle demurely over ankle, and flicks to the next page in her Good Housekeeping. It's a quiz to see if you're a good housewife. They seem to put one in every issue – and always with the same questions. Is your floor clean enough to eat off of – despite the requisite dog and several young children? Do you look like you just spent the day at a spa – instead of spending the day cleaning and cooking and chasing after said dog and children? Do you do anything and everything for your husband – and have no expectations of him ever doing the same for you? Peg recrosses her ankles the other way and flips to the next article. Twenty gelatin dishes your family will Just Adore! – sponsored by Jell-O. Lovely.

She hopes BJ hurries it up a little.

When BJ quits stalling and actually gets up the courage to go downstairs and face Peg, she's sitting in the living room, reading a magazine. It's a normal enough scene – although the lack of children is strange. And then BJ realizes that he hadn't seen them last night either. Peg must have - must have kept them away from him.

All the air goes out of his lungs and BJ collapses next to her on the couch, burying his head in his hands. He wants to weep. The idea that he can't be trusted around his own children - who he loves more than anything in the world, except for Peg - is terrible, horrifying. And he had no idea how long she's been doing this. When BJ thinks back to other nights he's gotten a little too far into the bottle – what he can remember of those nights, anyway – the kids are conspicuously absent there as well. Sent to bed early – without a bedtime story, since BJ is usually the one to do that – or sent off to his parents' house. Carefully kept from having to see him like that. Like that, like that – dead drunk and so angry he starts breaking things is what he means.

BJ tries to tell himself it's not really that bad. That it doesn't happen often – and it's always provoked by something, anyway. Justified. And he would never hurt anyone – would never turn that anger on Peg or the kids, only on objects, things that can be replaced if broken. But that's not really true, either. He'd hit Hawkeye - punched him right in the face for no reason other than BJ'd been angry and Hawkeye had tried to keep him from making a mistake. And they'd never really talked about it afterwards. BJ hadn't really apologized, either – just helped Hawkeye rebuild the still – and permanently erase the last tangible part of Trapper left in Korea. Cuz it always comes back to that with him, doesn't it. Jesus fucking Christ.

Peg has continued to flip through her magazine during BJ's little crisis, but he can tell she's not really paying it much attention. Her eye's keep slipping from the glossy pages and onto BJ's face. Waiting for him to start explaining himself, to give her some sort of context for last night – and all the other nights he's been like this. And BJ still doesn't understand all of what he's feeling, all of what had made him so fucking angry last night – but at least he knows where to begin.

“I'm so sorry, Peggy,” he says into his knees, not able to look her in the eye, afraid of what he'll find there. “I know it doesn't make up for things, but I am so fucking sorry.”

Peg nods to herself. He's right, sorry doesn't fix anything. But BJ has cleaned up the damage he'd done and apologized. It's a step in the right direction – and useless guilt and self recrimination doesn't rope a steer.

She puts a steadying hand on BJ's shoulder. “Apology accepted, dear. But we are talking about whatever caused this little... outburst.” Because sorry or not, they can't keep going on like this.

BJ nods. “I've – this morning was sort of a slap in the face, Peg.” His face twists in anguish. “I don't ever want something like this to happen again – I can't let something like this happen again. So.”

BJ takes a breath, gathers the stray thoughts he's had, tries to bring them together into something that resembles coherency.

“So Trapper John McIntyre. I hate his guts and he was all over Hawkeye's letter. What they did together and what idea Trapper had for this stupid wedding. And Hawkeye talked the whole time about Trapper's kids like they were his or something – and how they were all going up to Maine to visit Hawkeye's dad. It just! Why does Trapper get to have that? Why does he get to live with Hawkeye, spend time with Hawkeye's family, be Hawkeye's family?”

Why does he get all that when BJ doesn't.

“Trapper's a third-rate surgeon and a cheater and a, a rake. Always tom-catting around with his stupid body and his stupid face and his stupid little smirk. Like he's some kind of fucking movie star or something. Some big man on campus. Where's Trapper's research position at a prestigious university if he's so damn good? That's right, he doesn't have one. All he has is some experience in trauma surgery and friends in high places. Hawkeye deserves better.”

“Like you?” Peg's sideways glance seems to ask.

“Yeah, like me,” BJ growls under his breath. And then at a volume Peg can hear, says, “But despite Trapper being average in probably every single way – and he's not half as funny as he thinks he is, either – Hawkeye's shacked up with him like they're fucking newlyweds. It's. They're keeping house together. And Hawkeye just – as soon as Trapper walked through the door, he just stopped talking to me. Started asking after Trapper's day and why he was late getting home – like some perfect little wife. I'm surprised he didn't run and get him his fucking slippers.”

“So you think Trapper's taking advantage of him – of his feelings for him? Is that what's bothering you about all this?” Peg asks.

Because Trapper sounds like a real heel, from BJ's telling. But she's not sure how much of that is reality and how much of it is BJ twisting and misinterpreting things due to his own dislike of the man. And she knows that BJ's feelings towards him are only part of this – that there's more to BJ's anger than just Trapper being a jerk and Hawkeye writing about him.

BJ sighs. “No, I don't think that.” And in all honesty, he doesn't really believe that Trapper's half so bad – either as a surgeon or as a friend. It's just. “Trapper was doing just as much of the domestic routine as Hawkeye was. He made us dinner, if you can believe that – a roast like you do for Sunday dinner. Or for company that you want to impress.”

And shit. BJ can see – without the haze of alcohol and anger and whatever the hell he'd been feeling when he saw Trapper and Hawkeye together like they'd been – that Trapper had been trying. Probably out of consideration for Hawkeye, but still. He'd tried. Asked BJ about his work, showed interest in BJ's achievements, made polite conversation with him when Hawkeye was all talked out.

Or too busy eating the food Trapper had made.

All the time BJ had known Hawkeye, he'd barely eaten anything at all. Even with their strange little dinner routine of Hawkeye smelling his food and then giving it to BJ, who'd then put it right back on Hawkeye's plate, most of it went untouched. And sure, Army food was terrible – worse than anything BJ'd ever tried to cook in his shitty apartment kitchen back in college. But it was edible, if you were hungry enough. And the thing about thirty plus hours at a stretch in the OR is that you get pretty hungry.

So BJ had figured that Hawkeye just didn't eat much. He was skinny enough for that to be believable. But there he'd been, eating seconds at dinner and stealing cake off Trapper's plate during dessert. Something Trapper reacted to with fond annoyance - like it was normal, like he'd always done it. And BJ had started to wonder if this is what Hawkeye had been like before, when Trapper'd been in Korea.

Back before BJ had showed up.

And that's not even getting into the way the two of them had been during breakfast. Dancing around one another in the kitchen. Like they were so familiar with one another that they didn't need words to navigate the space between their bodies. And they'd fed each other then too. Hawkeye pressing grapes into Trapper's waiting mouth. Trapper fixing Hawkeye coffee like he knew the way he took it by heart. It had been so intimate – more intimate than almost anything BJ can think of doing with anyone he wasn't married to.

“No, Trapper's in on the whole newlyweds thing, too. And the worst of it is is that Hawkeye's happy like that.” BJ pulls at his hair in frustration. “That sounds terrible. I. What I mean is, I just thought that we needed each other, back in Korea. That Hawkeye needed me just as much as I needed him. And I needed him so much, Peg – I clung to him. And I thought he was clinging to me, too. But it turns out that what he needs is fucking Trapper.” Or Trapper fucking him, a snide voice inside BJ's head pipes up. “And now I don't know where we stand with one another. If Hawkeye really liked me at all, or if I was just. Convenient. A replacement for the person he really wanted there.”

“I know that you, that you need to feel needed in a relationship, BJ,” Peg says gently.

She's starting to see a connection here, with the way BJ's talking about things, to how he'd been when he felt she didn't need him anymore. A connection that she's pretty sure he hasn't figured out yet. He always was a little obtuse.

“And dear, I think Hawkeye being happy probably has more to do with not being in Korea than anything else. He wasn't very happy in Korea with Trapper either, after all. And he might not need you quite the same way he did back then, but he reached out to you, BJ. He kept your friendship alive after the war, and I think that counts for something.”

BJ looks a lot less miserable at that. “You're right, Peg. Our friendship is too important to let something like being on opposite sides of the country get in the way of it. Or us having our own lives.” Even if Hawkeye's life inexplicably involved Trapper. “I guess I should take him up on the offer to stay over a few extra days, then.”

Peg takes his hand. “You don't need to make any kind of decision about anything right away. Maybe take a few days to figure out where you stand with things. It's been – it's been an emotional day.”

BJ isn't quite sure why she's counseling him to wait on writing back to Hawkeye, but he trusts her judgment, so he nods in agreement and squeezes her hand tightly. He's really really lucky to have someone like Peg in his life.

--

About a week later, the penny finally drops. BJ bolts upright in bed, going from just about to nod off to terribly, utterly awake.

“Oh my God,” BJ whispers in something that sounds a lot like horror. “Oh my God, I think I'm in love with him.”

There's no real mystery as to who he's talking about. Not with the way BJ sits there, practically stewing in – Peg doesn't know. Guilt maybe. Or shame. Like he's done something wrong, cheated on her somehow, by feeling things he didn't even realize he was feeling until just now.

Peg isn't particularly surprised, is the thing.

She'd spent the week thinking about all of this. This thing between Hawkeye and her husband. And Peg feels like this realization hasn't just been brewing since BJ got back. No, this all started well before then.

Peg feels like she ought to have known, ever since she'd gotten that first letter from BJ talking about how good a surgeon and how compassionate and how bright and fun and funny Hawkeye was. It was practically a love letter to Hawkeye Pierce. It was just neither of them had seen it til now.

Then there were all the other letters, talking about Hawkeye nearly constantly. Both in the funny stories and the more serious passages about terrible the war was - about how much BJ loved and missed Peg and Erin and couldn't wait to be back home – and how Hawkeye had done something to cheer him up in the meantime. He'd inhabited every stroke of BJ's pen. He'd become a constant companion to Peg during BJ's time in Korea.

She'd come to care for him a great deal, despite having never met him. She'd been glad that BJ had someone there for him – and that he could be there for. Because that thing of BJ's about needing to be needed, Hawkeye had brought that out of him in spades.

So many of the letters had had themes of: Hawkeye's feeling down, here's how I cheered him up. Frankly, it should have been obvious just from that. BJ's love for Hawkeye goes well beyond simply friendship.

And Peg thinks the feeling is mutual. After all, she had gotten that letter from Hawkeye saying that BJ was real cut up he was missing his anniversary and could she maybe send him something to cheer him up. Except that it wasn't just a letter or maybe a photograph or another smutty novel Hawkeye was asking for Peg to send. It was her he was asking her for – all the things she'd do with BJ on a normal anniversary with them both home in Mill Valley recorded and mailed to Korea.

Hawkeye had needled and prodded and tricked information out of BJ until he could recreate an entire day of his life. And not just any day – their wedding anniversary. And since Peg couldn't be there to celebrate with BJ, Hawkeye had done it for her. For BJ. If that doesn't spell love, she doesn't know what does.

It should bother her, the idea that another man loves her husband – and that her husband loves him back. And that Hawkeye knows parts of BJ that she can never know.

And it does, a little. The idea that Peg hadn't been able to be there for BJ in all of the ways he'd needed. That he'd had to find someone else a little closer to home to take care of him – and to be taken care of by him – in Korea. That BJ still harbors these feelings for Hawkeye even now that he's back home with her and the kids.

But BJ isn't about to leave her - not with the way he's clinging to her hand and looking at her like she's his only chance at deliverance. And all of Hawkeye's love for BJ had been expressed in gestures like that anniversary movie – things that brought them closer together, things that let BJ come home to her mostly whole.

Even if they end up talking about this, BJ and Hawkeye, it's not going to go change things between them. There's no guarantee that anything will come of it other than emotional honesty. After all, BJ seems quite certain that Hawkeye is in a committed relationship – for whatever value of committed he and Trapper are both capable of. Trapper hadn't been the only one with rather legendary prowess with the nurses, after all.

So the only question she has is, “What do you want to do about this, dear?”

What BJ wants to do is run and hide, to curl up in the safety of Peg's arms and never think about this again. What BJ wants to do is go find Hawkeye and bring him to Mill Valley and keep him here forever. But neither of those are exactly options, so he says, “I guess I want to talk to him. About all this.” He gestures vaguely at the space between them, the bedroom at large, maybe even all of Mill Valley. There's just so much – and BJ doesn't know what any of it means yet.

“Well then, I guess we'd better plan on staying in Boston a few extra days. Why don't you let Hawkeye know.”

--

Trapper gets woken up by the phone ringing in the middle of the night on a week when he's not supposed to be working nights. But sometimes, there's an emergency bad enough everyone gets called up, scheduling be damned. So he holds back on the stream of profanity he wants to let loose and picks up the receiver.

“This is John McIntyre.”

“Hi, Trapper.” And it's Aisling from down the way, not one of the emergency services operators, so that means he doesn't need to start getting dressed at least. “I got a BJ Hunnicutt calling for Hawkeye. All the way from California, if you can believe it.”

“Yeah, yeah, they're old war buddies. I'll go get Hawkeye. Tell BJ to learn how time zones work while he waits.”

Of course, Hawkeye's wide awake now and looking questioningly at Trapper, trying to figure out what's so important that he's getting a phone call from BJ at two in the morning. And Trapper could just pass over the phone, BJ probably wouldn't say anything about it – and Aisling, who's voice Hawkeye can hear clear from across the room, definitely wouldn't. But Trapper's apparently feeling a little huffy about being woken up for a non-emergency type situation – at least, Hawkeye hopes it's not an emergency type situation. Not much Hawkeye can do from Boston if it is. So that just means something terrible like death or. No, everything is fine. BJ just doesn't know what time it is in Boston. Or he's drunk and. No, that's not really better.

Hawkeye makes impatient grabby hands at the phone.

“Hey, BJ. What's going on? Is something wrong?”

Hawkeye sounds muddled and half-asleep through the phone and suddenly, this seems like a bad idea. Like BJ's jumped the gun. What time is it in Boston, anyway?

“Hey, Hawk. Nothing's wrong.”

BJ hopes not, at any rate. He'll have to wait to see Hawkeye in person to know for sure. That definitely isn't the kind of conversation you have over the phone when the operator – or Trapper – could be listening in.

“Look, I'm sorry to call so late. I just wanted to say that I'm planning to come to Boston for the wedding and that Peg and I would love to stay for a few extra days. And that I'm sorry I've been kind of a jerk.”

Hawkeye's smile can be heard through the phone. “BJ, that's great news! I can't wait to see you both. Though maybe we could talk about this some time other than the middle of the night?”

Oops. Peg's listening in on the call and BJ can feel her silent laughter breathing against the back of his neck.

“Yeah. Yeah, I'll write you a letter tomorrow. Sorry to call so late – I just wanted to make sure you knew.”

“It's ok, BJ. But if that's everything, I'm going back to sleep. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight, Hawk,” BJ barely breathes into the receiver.

All of the air has gone out of his lungs, but out of relief this time, not fear. It feels like a huge weight has been lifted from his shoulders, getting to hear Hawkeye's voice – even if only for a minute. Knowing that he's real and there, even all the way across the country, and that BJ will have a chance to talk – really talk – to him soon. It's a bigger relief than he could have imagined.

“You're a real smart lady, Mrs. Hunnicutt,” BJ says into Peg's bare shoulder.

She kisses his forehead. “Goodness knows, one of us has to be. Now you'd better get some sleep too. You can write Hawkeye and Charles in the morning.”

[meltedmagazine]

AN INTERVIEW WITH IAN RIDENHOUR

I spent the weekend with alternative rock soloist Ian Ridenhour and his band as they prepared for and performed at Panoply Music Festival in Huntsville, Alabama. Ian took on the main stage of the downtown art festival at 3:45 PM, and was the first performer of the day to play original music. His energetic set lasted until around 5:00 PM. Afterwards, we hung out for a few hours as I photographed him and his recently-added vocalist Rain Lupia on my Nikon F3 Camera with a roll of 400 ISO Kodak gold film. In fact, I took photos of Ian and his band (which comprised of Ian Ridenhour, Rain Lupia, Jameson Ridenhour, James Kylen, and Brennan Dugan) over the span of three days: the Friday before, the Saturday of, and the Sunday after. On Friday, I loaded up my camera with 24 exposures of Holga black and white film and shot relaxation after preparation. After finishing that roll on Saturday morning, I decided to go with my tried and true Kodak gold film. On Sunday, as we drove away from Huntsville and back to our town of Asheville, I kept the gold in my Nikon and shot some frames at rest stops and gas stations.

Who are you?

Some asshole. Naaah I’m Ian Ridenhour. I’m a 16 year-old, Asheville-based musician. I’ve been playing music for about ten years. This is what I’ve always done, this is what I always want to do.

What are your roots? When did you begin writing, playing with a band, and performing?

I was primarily a drummer. At age one and a half or two, I started beating on pots and pans, really more around three I guess. Just pretending to be Mick Fleetwood from Fleetwood Mac. I loved it. For my fourth christmas, my parents got me a drum set and I took off. I played drums all the time, it was my favorite thing to do. When I was around six, my dad decided it would be fun to start playing in a band. My dad and I played as a duo for a while, just doing tiny little shows, and it was more of a novelty than anything else, like “Look at this six year old kid who can play the drums! Isn’t that cool?” And then, at age seven I wrote my first song, which is difficult without a melodic instrument. It’s really really hard. When I wrote that first song I knew I had to learn something else so that I was able to songwrite, as well. It took me forever not just to write it but to explain what was happening in my head. So I taught myself piano at age eight or nine. I fell in love with the piano. And just as a band leader, that’s much easier to write and perform on.  That has become my main instrument recently. We added a saxophone player to the band that my dad and I were in. We called it “Blind Mice”. We played around Bismarck, ND where I was living at the time. Super fun. Later on i was paying with different bands and experimenting more with different combinations of musicians and started working as a solo artist around age 13 or 14.

Right, because you wrote some songs for your first album at that time, around 13 or 14?

Yeah, I recorded the first album in 2014, and the first song off of the album, Along the Lines of Fairytales, I recorded when I was 14 and wrote it when I was 12. It wasn’t the first song I ever released but we’re going to pretend like that first song never existed.

What do you want out of music/ the music industry? What does success look like to you?

Man, it could be a lot of different things. Honestly, right now, I’m just having fun. Music is so much fun, and playing with the people that I play with is just a gift. I feel really truly honored to be able to play with such incredible musicians and have people feel like my music is worth listening to. It feels so good, being on stage feels so good. Ultimately, as long as I’m doing that, I’m going to be happy. The goal is to, y’know, I want to be touring, I want to be playing on a bigger level, for wider audiences across the country and the world. I’ve always wanted to travel with my music. Honestly, the music industry, especially in Asheville, is incredibly kind and welcoming and supportive and I just want to be a part of it. And I’m really happy that I am.

Asheville! What’s the music scene like there?

It’s super kind and compassionate. There are so many talented musicians, and in towns where you’ve got so much talent, it’s hyper competitive. When you get into towns with bigger music scenes, everyone is looking out for themselves. And I can’t really blame them for that, I get it. In Asheville, it’s so not that vibe at all. Everyone is so kind and generous and want s to support each other.I feel like I've said that in three or four different phrasings already, but it’s true! All of the people in the scene here are just the most compassionate people. They’re so willing to accept you into their environment, an take your under their wing. As a younger musician where it’s traditionally much harder to get into venues, and harder to be treated as a professional, it’s a gift to have such a wonderful community around me. And these guys are crazy talented. Asheville is just full of killer players. It’s a blast playing with them.

What bands/artists influence your sound the most?

Like everything? Haha! The obvious comparisons that a lot of people make are Ben Folds, Billy Joel (to a degree). There’s some weirder influences. One of the quotes that we use in press kits is, a friend of mine described my sound as “like Jack White and Ben Folds had a baby”. I listen to a lot of -- honestly it’s harder to describe specific influences and more just things that I listen to. I feel like I try to incorporate little pieces of everything that I listen to into my music. So, The Accidentals, for sure. Elbow is an influence, Fall Out Boy, Panic at The Disco, all of the emo bands that everyone used to listen to. I still listen to them. But they’ve got merit to them. They’ve got interesting songwriting, and that style is something I take from. Even bands like Twenty-One Pilots or whatever. My sound is nothing like them. But lyrically, they’re very interesting. I take from Icarus the Owl, in terms of rhythmic feel. I listen to Alt-J, July Talk, Dead Sara, Wolf Alice, I just try to listen to  a lot of different styles. I listen to--  I’m sure I could go on for hours -- older bands, too, like I grew up on The Police, Rush, and stuff like that. That was definitely an influence.

I saw a guy, in the audience of the band who performed before you at Panoply, who had a Rush T-Shirt on --

Doing all of the air drumming! Dude that was awesome. I love people like that. He was super cool.

Tell us about the “National Public Mother Fucking Radio” sticker on your piano. What does it mean to you?

That was a birthday gift from David LaMotte. It was a birthday show I was playing at the White Horse, and he was guesting on the set. I’m friends with BJ Leiderman who composes a fair amount of the National Public Radio theme songs.  He’s a super cool guy. David is friends with him, and he’s a part of the community. David thought it would be funny to give me that sticker for my birthday. I loved it! I stuck it on my piano. I’m want to get more sticker for my piano. So if you have any cool band stickers and you want to send them my way, anyone who is reading this, please do.

You mentioned the White Horse. Is that your favorite venue or do you have any other venues that you love?

Oh yeah, absolutely. Each venue has its merits, and there’s definitely things that I like about other venues in Asheville but The White Horse has always been a home for me. I live really close to there, I’m really really good friends with the owners, I helped run social media there for a while. The White Horse is so cool. They've got such a welcoming environment. They do so much for the community. They are absolutely incredible. If you’re in Asheville, and the white horse is a bit of a drive, you should still go. It’s worth the drive. It’s a great sounding room. My band sounds the best they ever do in that room.

You recently added another singer, Rain Lupia, to the mix. Why did you decide to incorporate another voice? How’s it been with another vocal performer alongside you?

I have always worked with vocalists. I have always liked working with vocalists. I’ve been doing that since I first started out as a solo artist. I’d have people come in and guest on a couple of tunes, and it was more convenience than anything. I’ve thought about adding harmonies for a while, but I’ve never had a consistent singer to do that because I’ve been working around with other people. But Rain lives close, she knows the music, and she sounds awesome on it. So it was more of a logical step. And it’s great. I love having the backup vocals. It’s great. And I want to add more as we work with her more. It’s really super fun having that extra piece to the band.  

How was Panoply?

It was fun! It was super fun. I had a lot of fun. It was so hot, man it was really hot. But it was fun! Yeah it was not exactly what I expected but I’m not really sure what I expected so that’s not really an accurate reference point. But the crowds were great, the people were really friendly, the art was super cool. It was a lot of fun walking around and seeing everything that was going on. I saw a martial arts display where they were breaking through wooden boards that had “bullying” and “peer pressure” painted on them, which is a cool little touch, I saw a street magician pull a specific card out of a deck with his mouth and fold it over in his mouth, my drummer almost bought a shark on a stick. Outside of the actual festival itself, which was super cool, it was a blast. It was the biggest stage I’ve ever performed on. I was super honored to be there. We’ve never really played festivals before. It was great. I got to perform in front of a lot of my family who had never seen me perform before. My cousin was going to go to a wedding and ditched at the last second because she wanted to see me perform.

That’s dedication. And that’s dedication for you, too. You’re at a point now to where you and your extended family will drive six hours to perform.

Yea! I’ve been out of school for several years now, and this is just what I've always wanted to do. The fact that we get to do it now is just -- well my dad is in the band, my mom is essentially my manager. I don’t think its ever really been a question that if we could do it we would do it. It’s wonderful to have their support, and I’m really grateful that they made the drive. Because, y’know, I’m not driving at all, I’m just sitting in a car for six hours, which is easy for me.I get to sleep! But yeah we’re really committed to this and we want to see it go far.

Do you listen to more tangible means of music, like cassettes, records, or CD’s or are you more of a digital guy?

Y’know, I really am more of a digital guy. I understand the merit of the older stuff, an I’ve always been fascinated by the analog vs. digital argument. Overall, digital is much easier. It allows me to store more music with me at a time. It’s primarily convenience. I just love having my iPod with a ton of music on me. I do most of my recordings for other musicians [who will play in the band]  on my voice memos to just send it over, I’ve got the album on there, which we were listening on the way down [to Panoply] to get familiar with it. We’ve also got CDs, and my family does listen to records in the living room,  which is super fun. I get the appeal of records, it’s a much warmer sound. It provides a good atmosphere, and it’s an experience. Digital music is more . . . it’s anywhere, it’s anytime, it’s more flexible.

An artist, album, or song that makes you feel a heavy dose of nostalgia?

Fall out Boy. I listened to Fall out Boy in my senior year of high school. And that was right before I moved to North Carolina, so it was with all of my friends in North Dakota. It was just a blast hanging out and just blasting Folie à deux. It brings me back to them, and the people that I miss there. Rush.  I grew up listening to Rush. Listening to Rush brings me back, which has its pros and cons. I usually don’t reminisce about my childhood, but it’s cool to be transported back to there.

Based on that, would you call yourself more of a nostalgic guy, or are you more forward-driven?

It’s always been drive forward. Not to be shitting all over your focus on nostalgia, but nostalgia for me just makes me sad. I lived in North Dakota for ten years, and I made a lot of friends there. Still, a lot of that nostalgia is like “aww . . .  I miss those people.” But it’s easier for me to focus on the forward. There’s a lot that’s happening in the near future, and it’s overwhelming if I don’t think about it. Not that nostalgia is bad. I’ll still play Magic the Gathering now and then, and remember “aww. . . I used to do this all the time in high school.”

What’s next for Ian Ridenhour?

After I get back, I've got three shows lined up in the next two weeks, and it’s finals week at UNCA. So shit’s crazy. But it’s fun. I’m going to keep goin’, keep playing shows, I’ve got to look at college tours soon. I’m just sort of seeing where everything takes me. I want to keep booking shows, for sure, and continue to play with people. I don’t know if and when I’m recording again, but I’ve got a lot of new music that I would love to record, so hopefully that’s in the future. We’ll see where it goes.Tune in, to, y’know, my website! It’s just my name. ianridenhour.com

LISTEN TO IAN RIDENHOUR HERE INTERVIEW + PHOTOS by AUDREY KEELIN

[sixthousandninehundredmiles]

12/3/2017

Day 2 of Davis tournament

Once again we left for the gym around 8am. It was funny when we got there because we walked in as a group and some girl at the check in table was like “Excuse me you need to check in.” I said we already did yesterday and kept walking. And she’s like “oh you have to do it again today” and I replied with “Someone will do it for us” and kept walking. Now that I think about it, it was kinda rude LOL. Our team was laughing cause Thinh, the guy from yesterday’s dinner, was like damn Derrick literally just shut that girl down like she has no say in anything. Oops :P

Doubles day! I was excited for this because it’s my strength. Van and I first started playing our entire B flight, which only consisted of 2 matches. We started off against Max Kam and Dexter Vu. Van said he has never beaten Max before and that his arm is a cannon. I feel like Max and Dexter weren’t warm yet because we beat them fairly easily in 2 games. Next we played Calvin Dai and Tim Tong, who actually ended up winning BMD. Gdi Tim is, even though by small increments, getting better every time I see him. Van and I call him “The Gatling Gun” because once he hits 1 drive, he keeps pushing forward with rapid drive shots and nothing will get past him. Like it is nothing I have ever seen before. Calvin would literally take like 10 steps every rally because he either starts with a smash followed by Tim’s drives or Tim’s drives are so pressuring that someone lifts and Calvin kills it. Stupid strong pair.

I won CMD! But this was a disappointing victory if I may say so. We “played” 5 matches to win first. Destroyed some nobody’s in the first round who somehow beat Lawrence Chen if you remember who he is. 2nd round we played Pho Ly if that name rings a bell. Never played him but I’ve definitely heard of that name at our tournaments. All the D men’s players on our team was like dude you have to beat this guy. Prove that he isn’t a B player like most people say he is. And show him that his smash isn’t as hard as people say. It was funny cause once we got on the court, Pho and his partner asked Van if I speak Viet in Viet…and then they started having their own convo. Would have been miserable if they started counting score in Viet too LOL. Super intense game and my hardest match of the day. The entire team watched us win 14-21, 21-12, 23-21. I mean I threw my racket at the end so you get the idea. Quarters we played Tommy Chiu and Matthew Hsieh. Their drive game was troubling for us especially with Tommy’s fast cut offs and Matt covering in the back. 2-0 them.

Semi-finals, the one I think you’re happy to hear, was against Anjo and Patrick Tsai. Literally one of the most disappointing matches I have ever played in my years of badminton. It ranks up there with my NCS with Chris against Robert and Justin from Logan. 21-2 and 21-10. Like we had a score conflict in the first game and we won the argument making it 5-1 and then next thing I knew they got a point making it 2-18. Before 2nd game, I spoke to Danae in Canto that we won 21-2 and she was like WTF and everything in Canto. Thinh who was sitting next to her looked super lost so Van spoke to him in Viet and we all started laughing LOL. 2nd set they showed why they lost. They are good individuals but a horrible pair with no chemistry and communication. Patrick is left-handed. Considering that these 2 play together so often, I would expect better rotation. Van just kept pushing left and right and they kept crashing into each other. He also told me to just keep smashing to the middle and their rackets kept clashing.

Finals, we played Max and Dexter again. That was short lived. They pushed themselves so hard in semi against James and John (the twins) that Dexter collapsed with a cramp after 4 points. I offered him rest time, Gatorade, and even said we have PT people with rollers who can help. They forfeit in the end as we predicted. And that’s how I walked away with a 1st place LOL check out the pics tho. Too bad the one with Randy is somewhat blurry but I thought it’s pretty nice.

After we left Davis, we went to BJ’s. Almost an hour wait because we were waiting for another group of 25 to leave and they were just chilling. Some people wanted to drink such as Van and Peter. Van I didn’t say anything because he’s driving alone. Peter said he’s ordering something if Van is and I’m like aren’t you driving. He said just 1 and I’m like but there are people in your car. And he’s like that’s true and took it back…Daniel Wong ended up being the only person who ordered a beer and shared it with some people. I ordered a prime rib and my god this is actually the saddest steak I have ever eaten. I ordered medium rare and I think it came out medium well. Chewy and dry and I have never had a steak over-seasoned. Super salty. At least the monkey bread pizookie I had in the end was good. Oh yea! After we ordered our drinks, Randy and I saw our waitress, who was super nice, sip one of the drinks she was putting on the tray and took it to our table…not sure who’s it was but that was awkward LOL. I also secretly told the waiter that it’s actually Thinh’s bday in a few days and was wondering if we could include something for him. He was super surprised wit his pizookie and also said kinda gave a thank you speech before we got into our cars to head home. I actually found out his bday at the HK cafe but he said to keep it down because he didn’t want everyone knowing…I hope he wasn’t upset or offended in anyway but I just wanted to do something for our teammate :P

The drive home was horrible mainly because every ptfo so I had no one to talk to. We set our destination at the Shell near Van’s house to gas up. So here is where a rant begins. Basically all cars arrived at Shell at different times because some people, such as myself, dropped off people who lived in Milpitas before arriving. CJ, who is already the slowest driver, dropped off someone in Union City and also had to drop Aliza near Great Mall. He said it’ll take him another 30 minutes to get here. So I thought heck instead of everyone waiting in the cold, the fact that I’m driving a van, and also I’m not paying for gas, I could just drive a bunch of people, drop them off on campus, then come back. This way drivers won’t have to be going out of their way later and I can just do 1 trip while waiting for CJ. Everyone liked the idea so I took people who lived on campus and people who had rides waiting at school. Randy is one of the drivers. After I called out who lives near campus, Daniel Wong asked if he can ride with me. I mean I knew he was an asshole but this is far out there. Even Van called him out for it over text and he’s usually the one who tells me to chill about him. I’m like wait aren’t you going home with Randy? He said if I drove him, he could shower and sleep 30 minutes earlier. I’m like so you’re just gonna leave your housemate here? He gave me a glare and was like fuck it fine I’ll stay. I’m like ok fine wtv so Daniel muttered something under his breath and went to get his stuff. Randy literally double flipped him off and mouthed “fuck you” right behind Daniel and most people saw. Then as I was loading the van, Danae was sleeping in the passenger seat. I was 2 seats short so I asked if she could stay here with the others. She tackled me with questions which I got super pissed about: “Why do you need to take them back? Why can’t they wait? Why do you have to be the one to take them back? Who am I waiting with?” Like I had to answer everything and people hear this. And she was complaining when she got out of the car. Daniel Wong eventually got the hint we were short on seats and reluctantly just grabbed his bag and got out without a word. I’m like seriously you two?

While driving back, I couldn’t help but think Danae has actually caused more trouble than anything on this trip. And it just really pissed me off. Even while driving people back to school, they jokingly said dude Danae looked like she’s gonna murder us. I’m like dude these people barely know you but I feel like they can judge you accurately. She caused a fuss on Saturday morning because she thought someone was gonna go get breakfast for the team. I asked her if she coached anyone during this tournament and she’s like no because she didn’t have breakfast so she can’t think straight and in the middle of the day between her games, most people lost already so there’s no point. I’m like dude, you’re a coach. Take some damn responsibility. She also got breakfast on Sunday morning and didn’t offer to get me any. I didn’t mind but knowing her, it is surprising. And I was swerving a bit on the way back from Davis because I was sleepy but not once did she offer to drive. I hate to admit it but she’s just leeched on this trip. Just pissed me off the whole drive from Shell back to Fremont.

When I got home, I jumped in the shower and crawled into bed asap because I was too dead to care for anything else in the world LOL what a trip :)