#bitter jem fans club

[victoriannarwhal]

"And I will not be that person I will not profit from his death," said Will, the same man who fucks Tessa 2.5 seconds after thinking his parabatai died.

[thecineastes-blog]

Grand Prix RPDR RuView: Reality Stars!: The Rusical (S06E05)

Break out your selfie stick and get ready to break the internet! For Grand Prix RPDR RuView, we’ll be giving you the overview of each episode, top moments of each episode, the shadiest moment of each episode, our favorite queen of the each episode, our least favorite queen of each episode, best looks on the runway, and our predictions for next week.

The queens re-enter the workroom to see Charlie Hides’s lipstick goodbye...which is quickly erased by Trinity. I miss when the queens would actually read aloud the departing words of their newly eliminated sister. But that seems to have gone the way of the dinosaur. Trinity does not seem to be the least bit sentimental and wants to focus on what’s ahead. The queens seem so bummed that Charlie did not put up a fight. Trinity is also quick to clarify that she had wished she had been put into the bottom two for her performance and not for her questionable leadership. (personally, I thought she was in the bottom two for both those reasons but I digress…)

While everyone does seem genuinely happy about Sasha and Shea’s win, Alexis wants to become the cream to everyone else’s milk this season and rise to the top; Nina seems like she’d pull a Nomi Malone on any of her fellow contestants if given the opportunity.

 The next day RuPaul drops in on the queens, sans her usual cryptic video mail. However, it does seem like our prayers (as well as those letter writing campaigns and hunger strikes) have paid off, we actually get a mini-challenge! Judt in time to be considered an Easter miracle! And on top of the that the Pit Crew is here! This season they are sponsorless, but have two new members, Yadir and Jared!

The queens had to shoot fun selfie photos with the Pit Crew in their summer ensembles. The photos were really fun to watch and made me realize how much I missed the mini challenges. Alexis is chosen as the winner, and will spearhead the maxi challenge in Kardashian: the Musical! Since Alexis won she got to choose not only her role, but everyone else’s.

The show seems to have gotten so disjunctive this season (and actually since All Stars 2). Drag Race used to follow a very linear pattern, there was the She Mail/RuMail, the mini challege, the preperation/rehearsal on the main challenge, performing the main challenge, the runway, and finally the lip sync. There just needs to be more a more cohesion for the rest of the series, because it’s getting ridiculous.

Alexis chooses the role self-proclaimed momager™ Kris Jenner; the other casting goes as follows, Eureka as North West, Cynthia as Kim, Farrah as Kylie, Valentina as Kendall, Aja as Kourtney, Sasha as Lindsay Lohan, Trinity as Paris Hilton, Peppermint as Britney Spears, Shea as Blac Chyna, and Nina as Khloe. Nina, originally wanting the role of Blac Chyna is already complaining about not receiving and the rehearsals have yet to start! 

Eureka, has had her ups and downs these past episodes. ESPECIALLY since she has to use crutches. She is being a real Pollyanna about the situation, which is refreshing. As the queens are listening to their music and trying to get their lyrics down, Nina keeps going on and on about how unfair it felt not getting the role she wanted. Nina is as salty as the Pacific ocean. If this were Dreamgirls, she’d be playing Effie White.

Peppermint said what everyone else was thinking, there are THREE Black actors to the ONE Black role, so two people are gonna end up being shafted! I’m actually surprised they did not have Brandy as a character in the musical, since Kim working for her led to her meeting, dating and making the sex tape with Ray J.

The choreography session, led by Todrick Hall was well...clunky. Apparently, it was an intensive two-day ordeal...and some people took it to more than others. Eureka is making glam happen, she is applying rhinestones on ballet slippers to make it that more glam!

Aja has experienced a true Hannukah miracle with thinking she got a slimmer nose. Eureka also ate some humble pie and asks for Sasha and Valentina’s forgiveness. They both open up about their eating disorders, and even Shea talks about her bulimia battle.  RuPaul’s Best Group Therapy Race indeed!

For the musical, I thought they all gave a strong performance but I’m sad they did not perform Kim Kardashian Meets the Easter Bunny: an American Play (and yes that is a real play, available on Amazon).

Ru comes down the runway in a shimmery silver number (is this becoming her signature color?); I’m happy to see hair and makeup and back to normal. So Meghan Trainor is wearing a unicorn onesie. Did she not have a stylist or at least ONE gay friend to talk to her about this? It just looks like she got up out of bed and ran to the studio to film the episode.

For the musical, I thought they all gave a strong performance but I’m sad they did not perform Khloe Kardashian Meets the Easter Bunny: an American Play (and yes that is a real play, available on Amazon).

Ru comes down the runway in a shimmery silver number (is this becoming her signature color?); I’m happy to see hair and makeup and back to normal. So Meghan Trainor is wearing a unicorn onesie. Did she not have a stylist or at least ONE gay friend to talk to her about this? It just looks like she got up out of bed and ran to the studio to film the episode.

Runway Over-Ru:

Category is Faux Fur Fabulous! First up is Peppermint, wearing a whole lot of pink (are her signature colors Blush and Bashful?). The skirt was very reminiscent of her ‘Naughty Nightie’ look, although the skirt fit her much better. Her faux fur piece reminded me of cotton balls. All in all, I was not a fan. 

Did Kimora leave behind her Princess Banana Lady costume? Because that's what Trinity was serving on the runway (minus the first world sob story about not wearing padding.) the added nose ring and accessories were kind of a cross between Coco Montrese’s ‘Ru-animal’ look and Season one and ‘All-Stars’ alum Shannel. Sasha Velour was serving Russian dressing realness in a Kozachok inspired look. 

The faux fur pants and hat were spot on. Well, after a chilly night of clubbing…” was Alexis’ Look for this runway, although the “reveal” was disappointing. Had she gone with a crystal encrusted mini dress or hell even a nude illusion like a Central Park flasher would’ve been more satisfying than that dress from Forever 21.

Cynthia’s Faux fur look was a lot. It was a two in one, it was mesh, it was faux fur, it had long sleeves, she had on gloves, she had on thigh high boots. Too much. Next up is Nina Bo’nina Brown Mountbatten-Windsor in a great look reminiscent of Mary J. Blige. This look (almost) compensated for Nina’s attitude this episode. 

Aja’s look could best be described as holographic Hoth stripper.Not my favorite. I did like the lavender hair and earmuffs, but wasn’t living for the rest of the ensemble. Looking like a telenovela villain in a snakeskin patterned gown, faux fur stole and wild kingdom jewels was Valentina. I liked the look, but wish it was more faux fur.

Two words: muppet jacket. That’s what I’d use to describe Farrah’s Faux fur piece. That in combination with the holo printed booty shorts, highlighter green color (Hello, Michelle Visage!),  weird windchime foil necklace and Red s-wave wig-it was a confusing look.  I prefer Farrah’s retro showgirl vibe from last episode, it definitely suits her better.

Shea’s neon vinyl faux fur monster look was IT. It reminded me of Naomi Small’s neon runway look-which I also love. Were the Misfits’s missing a member? Speaking of 1980s kids Glam Rock, Eureka looked like she was straight out of ‘Jem’ and I wasn’t mad about it. From the neon, faux fur, hair, leotard and face paint- it quite literally looked like something Pizzaz would wear (minus the crutches).

Farrah and Cynthia are placed at the bottom two, and effectively were polar opposites with their performances; Cynthia performance was high energy but it was clear she did not know the words. Farrah’s performance was lackluster and somewhat boring. But I was clutching my set of Easter Sunday pearls when Eureka was sent home! 

In hindsight, it made perfect sense, but RuPaul (and her lawyers) would be remiss (and held responsible) if they did not give Eureka time to heal. Untucked was just really weird when Alexis got on her pedestal about feeling that she did not feel the other contestants tried to help her with her runway look? Ugh.

Jonny’s Favorite Moments:

Mamma Mia!: Alexis Michelle as Kris Jenner nothing short of epic! She was present on stage, even when she wasn’t the main feature, was amazing.

Peppermint Twist: There is nothing better than Peppermint’s commentary on what is going on. My favorite parts of any episode.

Jonny’s Favorite Shadiest Moments:

Tony! Toni! Toné!: Will we be seeing Kardashian: the Musical make it to the great white way….don’t hold your breathe.

The Last Unicorn: Unofficial Commandment for RPDR Judges that I think Meghan Trainor did not realize, DRESS TO IMPRESS!

It’s the Great Menorah, Charlie Brown: I was glad we were able to witness a Hanukkah miracle! Aja’s nose becoming smaller! L'Chaim!

Jonny’s Favorite Queen:

Eureka, she will definitely will be missed this season. There were times she was downright grating, and others where she was very sympathetic and endearing. This episode, where we saw her hobbling around on crutches and wheelchairs with an ACL tear and not being the least bit salty or bitter? Take notes everybody, this is the attitude to have!

Jonny’s Least Favorite Queen:

Nina’s sourpuss demeanor this ENTIRE episode was really disconcerting. Come on, she was cast as Khloé Kardashian and was acting like she had to play Brody Jenner! And since Khloé is such a fan of the show (and a former judge to boot) I just wish Nina would have put more effort to outshine her cast members. I can see why people have called her a Debbie Downer

Predictions:

It’s FINALLY Snatch Game; this maxi challenge separates the boys from the men (or something like that). Let the odds be ever in your favor darlings.

Anais’ Favorite Moments:

Crystal Crazy: Valentina’s love of crystals and how stoning “feeds her soul” in ‘Untucked’ was adorable.

Unbreakable: Although she wrecked her knee in the Cheerleading challenge, Eureka didn’t let it bring her or her attitude down. (Side note: FYI Ru-no cheerleading challenges ever again.)

Anais’ Favorite Shadiest Moments:

Basic Instinct: How exactly was it the other Queens’ faults that Alexis wore a basic dress on the runway? It’s a competition! They’re going to be cordial but they’re not going to dress you.

Unicorn Tears: Was Meghan Trainor’s stylist on vacation? Really, a unicorn onesie?

Anais’ Favorite Queen:

Eureka and Valentina. Eureka’s positive attitude about her injury and not letting it hinder her in the competition was great-and to be honest I wish she had spent more time being like that, than coming off as desperate for camera time. (Bring positive Eureka for Season 10!) Valentina giving Farrah a bit of tough love was just what the Doctor ordered.

Anais’ Least Favorite Queen:

Farrah Moan and Nina Bo’nina Brown Day-Lewis. Farrah’s whining and cry baby demeanor is getting a bit irritating. She needs to toughen up when receiving constructive criticism-the 5 G’s girl. (Good God Girl Get a Grip). Nina’s attitude was ultra-salty and she spent a majority of her time complaining about not being Blac China, as opposed to taking the role she was given and making the most of it. I understand Nina’s faced a lot of opposition in the ATL drag scene, but she really should be showing her haters that she’s H-E-R-E bitch and showing them that they can’t bring her down.  It shouldn’t be a surprise to her that other contestants are questioning her desire to be in the competition.

Predictions:

Snatch Game! FINALLY. It’s really the time where we’ve hit mid season and it becomes survival of the fittest. Being safe isn’t enough anymore.

[victoriannarwhal]

"Tessa loves both Jem and Will equally," CC claims as all of Tessa's scenes with Jem are hollow and without enthusiastic joy. *glaring at Jem's proposal in which it seems that she is marrying out of pity rather than her own love and desire**Doesn't think about her own love for Jem while Will is spilling his nasty selfish guts about his love for her rather than the love Will and Jem have for eachother*

Honestly fuck this book.

[victoriannarwhal]

Bruh, what on earth was CC thinking about the cave scene between Tessa and Will. That shit is disrespectful, fucking your thought to be dead parabatai (aka soul brother's) fiancée 2.5 seconds after his death. I don't care about the circumstances, so disrepectful to Jem's memory.

[victoriannarwhal]

... And the boy who thought he was cursed never really lost anything. He was never cursed, therefore could live a life with the woman he loved. He also got to see his mother and father again, with the help of a caring Consul.

... And the boy who had been destined to die, gave up everything to survive: The chance to live with the woman he loved (who spent their entire engagement sulking that she couldn't be with his best friend), the chance to fight along side his soul brother (who fucked his fiancée). Unlike the boy who was never cursed, the boy destined to die would never see his family again, because they were murdered by the demon who had tortured him as a child. Now he would exist in solitude among the Silent Brothers who would mutilate his face.

The only regret the boy who thought he was cursed had was not being able to spend more time with the boy who had been destined to die.

The End

[victoriannarwhal]

I hate how in Clockwork Princess in Than Any Evil when Jem asks Tessa if she loved him her response was like, "Not really when we were first engaged, and I love Will, but now I love you."

Remember this bitch supposedly "loves both boys equally."

Honestly CC can choke.

[victoriannarwhal]

TID is disporpotionately a Will Herondale story, in which Jem's point of view and his perceptions of the events that take place in TID are missing. Readers only get to explore Jem through Tessa and Will's point of view, and it is clear that Tessa views Jem as a second choice. Whenever both boys are mentioned, Tessa's mind first goes to Will and then to Jem as a secondary thought.

Not to mention there is a parallel with Jem and Sidney Carton from A Tale of Two Cities, where he steps out of the way so Tessa can be with Will, the man she loves.

Also, in all other content where Jem is mentioned such as GoTSM, TLH, TMI, TDA, he is treated as a plot device to advance the story of the Herondales rather than explored as his own character.

Honestly, CC can keep saying "Tessa loves both Will and James equally" but it doesn't seem like it. CC doesn't write like it, especially since it's clear that she prefers Wessa (no matter what she says on her blog, she has to pretend she doesn't favor either ship to keep the fans "happy") since she has 2 trilogies dedicated to the couple and their children, and Jessa just gets side content. Honestly, I think Jem is such a sweet character and deserves more than washed up second hand experiences with Tessa who is going to keep spending her moments with Jem reminiscing over the relationship she had with Will.