#bitch dependency is a disease

[haberdashing]

upsides to having idiopathic hypersomnia: i can tell people that a doctor diagnosed me with a case of the sleepytireds and i am, essentially, telling the truth

[gregoftom]

i could see how they would kill off tom. there’s been some things which could suggest it [the story of mog, who wanted to sleep forever, and so she did. maybe it was just a red herring nod towards what happened to kendall and actually is connected to tom, because of the sleep issues, and that early review said the whole deal with tom’s sleep issues is important]. and people have been guessing throughout the whole season that one of the siblings would die, it would definitely be something a little more... shocking/surprising i guess? i know we’re coming up with theories right now, but it is right before episode 9. no one has suspected it would be tom until the past few days.

having said that i would rather they didn’t do that. we’ve only just started to see tom actually stand up for himself and consider himself worth something, worth fighting to stay alive. we’ve seen him not crumble under guilt and shame and to something he normally would. we’ve seen him open up a little, we’ve seen that sincere side of him blossom, underneath the comedy. it would be kind of a shame to throw that away, at least that’s what i think.

[autisticaradiamegido]

Is it that you're too tired to draw or too tired to come with the ideas because I have many ideas (if you're interested)

both! it's "i'm too tired to do literally anything except lay down and sleep."

im literally always accepting prompts though like i make no promises about what my brain will latch onto but i certainly don't mind people sending them in

[modernmutiny]

Sometimes j think maybe i don't want to go to grad school for literature bc it's expensive and a lot of work and is it really worth it? But then someone I've never interacted with before says on the internet that A Single Man was pointless bc George dies at the end and i get so fucking upset i write half an essay in the tags and like. Yeah ok i was made to do this for sure

[krumbaphant]

after sitting stagnant for months and months and months the dust is working its way free from boy burning and the plot! is finally becoming clearer. finally. after 84 years i might be able to get this bitch on track and FINISHED*

[makeyoumine69]

Disease

𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆: Patrick Bateman x Fem!Reader

𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘: After his failed attempt to charm you, Patrick can't stop thinking about you because you've completely occupied his mind and now the poor man can't get any rest and has to masturbate to thoughts of you almost every night.

𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒: Smut, masturbation, desperate Patrick, swearing, spanking, delusions, obsessive behavior, cum shot.

𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃𝐒: <1k

𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐆 𝐑𝐄𝐂: Lady Gaga—Disease💕

𝐀/𝐍: This is very random, I wrote it during my break at work because I had a very stressful day. Hope you enjoy it!

𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐊𝐒: [MASTERLIST]🪓

It was more than a feeling that tormented him all night long, not giving him a chance to sleep properly. This searing sensation like an itching wound, it drove him crazy and eventually Patrick gave in, throwing the soft blanket aside and the next second he groaned as he looked down at his groin.

"Fucking bitch," Bateman hissed through his clenched teeth as he finally allowed himself to pull down the briefs that seemed to be too tight. "I'll watch you bleed one day, I swear," his panting mixed with barely audible curses. "Oh-fuck…"

Eyes shut tight, the man gripped himself and the mere contact with his hot flesh made him arch his back, his legs shaking from the tension as if he were about to combust. These obsessive thoughts of you were like a fucking plague he couldn't get rid of. But maybe he wasn't really trying, maybe wanking off to the thought of you was something special, something different from all the other times he jerked off watching porn or… Maybe he just couldn't stand that you didn't fall in love with him right away?

"Mmhm, you will beg me for this," Bateman's voice was getting raspier and raspier with every stroke, his movements bordering on desperation. Chewing on his lip, he ignored the way his pre-cum was literally gushing around the expensive sheets, a few drops running down his flat abdomen. But he didn't care. "You're gonna beg me like a whore…and I'm gonna spit in your face…in your so-fucking-beautiful face," his cock twitched in his grasp as he imagined that it was your hand jacking him off now, that it was you lying here next to him in his king-sized bed. "I-I need you…so fucking much," he almost whimpered, rolling onto his side to hide his face in the pillow. "Why can't I just stop thinking about you?! Why? WHY?"

Huffing, Patrick picked up the pace, his hand sliding up and down his shaft in an almost feverish desperation; the wet, obscene sounds were a clear indication of how much he needed this—needed you. At one point, the man was about to gnaw on the pillow as he imagined fucking you in missionary…or maybe doggy or maybe prone? How about you on top, bouncing on his thick dick, your eyebrows furrowed as his girth was mercilessly splaying you open? No way. This fantasy was too delightful, but Patrick couldn't concentrate on anything in particular—he wanted it all at once. Fucking you on his bed, on the floor, against the wall, then lifting you up and making you wrap your legs around his waist.

When the loud moan fell from his lips, he knew it wouldn't take long for him to cum. Crumpling the covers, Bateman thrust relentlessly into his hand as if his life depended on it. Missionary…he would fuck you like this because he wanted to see your face when he would sheath himself so deep inside you that you would have to shush yourself with your hand. But then you would become as needy as he was, your hand kneading his biceps, his broad back, gradually moving down to his firm ass to give it a squeeze and then a sharp slap.

"Arghh-fuck," he groaned into the pillow before slapping himself, only feeding his delusional fantasy, but holy shit, why did it feel so real? "Mmhg-you're going to be so full of my c-cum-fuck!"

Trembling like a leaf in the wind, Patrick exploded into his hand, but he didn't stop pumping himself, even though his hand was starting to hurt from the intensity of his movements. Flustered, covered in sweat and tears, he spilled himself on the sheets, but even when he was completely spent, the image of you was still so fresh and real inside his head. Your bratty voice teased him all over again and he could swear that one day he would really make you submit to his will, but now all he could do was lie alone in his perfect apartment and dream of that very moment he would share with you.

P.S. Thank you for reading until the end! I don’t have a taglist. You can follow my writing community to know when I update!💞

[reyrapidsbutgayer]

Ranking All Shadow of the Erdtree Bosses and NPC's by Fuckability.

It's finally time. The sequel to the 2nd worst post I've ever made.

I 100%-ed the DLC and it was fantastic. Time to find out which new characters are the most fuckable.

In this hypothetical all of the bosses can be reasonably communicated with (if possible) and are not actively trying to kill you (Unless killing you makes it sexier).

Repeat bosses not included, duo bosses counted seperate. Bosses that already appeared in the Base game are not counted.

It should also be assumed that all of these bosses have access to their magic/items/resources to benefit them in bed.

Explanation of Grading system:

Ineligible: (Cannot give consent)

These characters are not sentient enough to communicate consent, or are physically incapable of sex.

Unfuckable: (Can give consent, but does not DESERVE sex)

Character sucks so badly that they do not deserve to experience pleasure in any shape or form.

Uninterested: (Can give consent, does not WANT sex)

These character are fully capable of sex but would never participate in sex due to lack of interest or overabundance of moral convictions.

Not worth it: (Can give consent, is terrible in bed)

I mean, you COULD have sex with these characters but why would you?

Acceptable: (Can give consent, would be fine in bed)

These characters are average in bed, nothing crazy or noticeable. Some might end up in this category because they ARE good at sex, but the entire process would be inconvenient or uncomfortable to initiate.

Good Time: (Can give consent, would be great in bed)

These characters are good at sex, give or take a few points depending on their mood or situation.

Knock your socks off: (Can give consent, would be amazing in bed)

These characters excel in giving pleasure and would be well worth the time and effort involved.

Sex God: (Can give consent, would be the best in bed)

These characters would be so good at sex that all other factors are irrelevant. They are serving and we are here for it.

Evil Sex God: (Can give consent, is a terrible person but you’d make an exception.)

These are characters that should fall lower in the rankings, but their sexual prowess supersedes their inherent awfulness to a noteworthy degree.

Full list below the read more. Obviously it's not going to be sfw.

Ineligible: (Cannot give consent)

Ralva the Great Red Bear:

Animal

Rugalea the Great Red Bear:

Animal

Ghostflame Dragon:

Undead, probably not capable of sex.

Golden Hippopotamus:

Animal

Swordhand of Night Anna:

She is a hot goth knight, but is a mind controlled puppet.

Unfuckable: (Can give consent, but does not DESERVE sex)

Promised Consort Radahn + Radahn Consort of Miquella:

Radahn is just a mind-controlled corpse, and Miquella is a little bitch, so they are both ineligible. Honestly who tries to become a god but also ditches their inner goth girl? St. Trina deserved better.

Scadutree Avatar:

Theoretically capable of sex, but is made of pure anger and thorns.

Fire Knight Salza:

War criminal, even by Elden Ring terms so you KNOW it's bad.

Jori, Elder Inquisitor:

Creepy torturer and hypocrite, thinks sex is a sin and I plan for him to die sinless.

Uninterested: (Can give consent, does not WANT sex)

Curseblade Labirith:

Too devoted to being a monk to care.

Midra Lord of Frenzied Flame:

He's going through a LOT right now. He just got dumped AND he is being tortured for eternity while also containing a god of madness in his body, just leave the poor man alone.

Blackgaol Knight:

In another life he'd fuck like semi truck, but as of right now he's taken a vow to be a wet blanket alone in a mausoleum.

Not worth it: (Can give consent, is terrible in bed)

Chief Bloodfiend:

Too goopy and covered in diseased blood, but is still up for it if you are.

Putrescent Knight:

On one hand it's melting skeleton made up of thousands of merged souls... but on the other hand if you managed to get the consent and each and every soul I bet you could PROBABLY do something.

Lamenter:

Throw him one pity fuck and then run, he's clingy and a whiner.

Death Knight:

Is mostly just a skeleton, and whatever flesh is still there is probably rotting... but he does have some rizz and cool wings... goth guys can still get it.

Acceptable: (Can give consent, would be fine in bed)

Black Knight Garrew:

A highly trained knight, probably has good stamina but is also a fanatic to a creepy cult.

Black Knight Edredd:

Is also a highly trained knight, probably has good stamina but is also a fanatic to a creepy cult... but he does know crucible incantations... he might have some weird animal stuff you can get him to use in bed.

Rakshasa:

She's covered in blood and is overflowing with bloodlust... but lust and bloodlust are in the same neighborhood if you know what to do.

Divine Beast Dancing Lion:

If those two guys in there aren't rotting corpses... Fucking two guys inside a scary lion costume is an above average Tuesday night.

Good Time: (Can give consent, would be great in bed)

Logur, the Beast Claw:

A nude man covered in blood is running at you on all fours... you are either about to die or have a WILD night.

Ancient Dragon Senessax:

A very average dragon, but all dragons have a baseline fuckability so she's up here.

Jagged Peak Drake:

Drakes are slightly less fuckable than dragons, but if you don't think I'd willing be double teamed by two dragons while Igon watches, you clearly don't know me.

Ancient Dragon-Man:

All the perks of dragon sex but in a much more portable package.

Demi-Human Swordmaster Onze:

Normally Demi-humans are more cute than sexy, but this guy dedicated his life to the blade, you should be helping him make up for lost time.

Count Ymir, Mother of Fingers:

He's a delusional asshole... but he smacks of gender™ in a very submissive and breedable manner. A man who wants to be a mother and has giant fleshy fingers growing out of his body? It will be uncomfortable and deeply personal... but you GOTTA try it at least once, the LGBTQ community is depending on you.

Knock your socks off: (Can give consent, would be amazing in bed)

Red Bear:

All the raw sex appeal of Logur but with 25% more daddy energy.

Moonrithyll, Carian Knight:

Listen we have all been sleeping on Moonrithyll when we should be sleeping WITH her. She is the chamberlain to Rellana (as in head bedroom attendant) which means she is an actual #girlboss and there must be insane wizard lesbian sex behind closed doors. Not only that but she is beloved by the trolls and can fight on equal terms with the carian troll knights, who are no doubt getting sucked and fucked by her nightly. She's just a normal human but she is blowing out the backs of demigods and giants alike. She is struggling to keep her head above water and that water is pussy.

Commander Gaius:

Ok so here me out: He is an asshole, and violent, and a fanatic who serves the very order that discriminates against him... but all you have to do is mention that Radahn is better in bed than him. With this one simple trick he will have you bent over the back of his boar making sure he won't be the only one who can't use their legs after. He is pure rage and he will not stop until he has make you cum more times than Radahn ever has. Trust me, this happened to me, video games are real.

Dancer of Ranah:

Infinite stamina, enough said.

Sex God: (Can give consent, would be the best in bed)

Rellana Twin Moon Knight:

I want you to imagine Rennala, a normal woman who was able to satisfy Radagon/Marika, the sluttiest possible duo in the entire history of the lands between. Now imagine Rennala at full power, no depression, no hanging out in her basement mourning her failed marriage... now imagine Rennala 18% more goth and holding two magic swords. She will fuck you into space and then fuck you back to planet earth. Now imagine being bisexual.

Messmer the Impaler + Base Serpent Messmer:

I have slowly grown to love this sad bishounen anime boy more and more as I learn about his pathetic little life. He seems all mean and firey, but he is a bottom. (and his snakes are not) I wanna make him squeal and then get him therapy and then for good measure make him squel again.

Romina, Saint of the Bud:

A sleeper hit, but she is a mean insect lady with a giant prehensile centipede tail. She is like a xenomorph queen but a pink pastel goth rather than a vampire goth. She will wrap you up in that giant tail of hers and get straight to the egg laying. If you haven't considered it before, then you will now.

Evil Sex God: (Can give consent, is a terrible person but you’d make an exception.)

Metyr, Mother of Fingers:

Look... you WILL die after doing this, but she has a giant stomach full of squirming wet fingers and she is basically a big pile of dicks. Get naked, jump into her gaping stomach and die happy. That's an order from your commanding officer, now do your duty and serve your country.

Bayle the Dread:

I hate this dragon, he is responsible for the steady decline in dragon sex appeal, he hurt my Igon, and I can't explain why but I feel like he is sexist somehow. BUT... a dragon is a dragon. If Igon asks me to double team this guy I legally can't say no.

BONUS: Ranking the new NPC's from worst to best in terms of fuckability:

#13: Fire Knight Queenlign:

Somehow, his haircut is more of a turn-off than the war crimes he committed in the name of a god who doesn't even know he exists, which is not a good sign.

#12: Hornsent Grandam:

Normally I would give GILFs a pass to live their life and fuck as little or as much as they want. But she is the type to slut shame other women and as a feminist I cannot stand idly by.

#11: Hornsent

In another life he'd be a decent lay. He had a wife and a child so he has had sex at least once. In a pinch I can forgive the blind self destructive quest for vengeance, but I draw the line as soiled loincloths. You're an adult Hornsent, so act like it.

#10: Moore

My sweet little pot boy... If it came to sex I'd like to imagine that he is attentive and gentle, with his armor clattering around the whole time because he is too scared to take it off entirely. But he is too sweet and you honestly don't deserve him. He needs to be romanced, swept off his feet by a loyal and supportive partner and let's face it, you aren't at a place in your life where you can be all that he needs.

#9: Thoiller

The pillow princess to end all pillow princesses. He is a simp, he's submissive, he's breedable, he's a sopping wet pathetic little meow meow. Tumblr, THIS is the man you keep saying you want, now get in there and impregnate this man as the prophecies foretold.

#8: St. Trina

She's a plant at this point and probably isn't up for sex. (And a disembodied essence of love from a corrupted demigod) But I KNOW for a fact you kept imbibing her nectar more than you needed to. She just likes to watch as you and Thoiller get high and flop around in the putrescences. Lore says St. Trina was a fully grown woman at some point, and not just a weird little plant person, so in her prime she probably had a weird sleepy plant orgy with her followers.

#7: Redmane Freyja:

On paper she is the tragic butch sword lesbian we need but don't deserve. A prisoner who earned her freedom and rank through brutal gladiatorial combat, a loyal knight to a fallen demigod, and a big buff lady who can step on you. But in practice she still sides with Leda after breaking free of the mind control, and lets Miquella control her lords body like a toy. Come on Freyja, where is your fire? Your rage? Suplex Leda and fuck your way across the lands between as did your forefathers.

#6: Swordhand of Night Jolan:

She's a mean goth girl with a tragic past and a desperate need to be loved. I could fix her.

#5: Sir Ansbach

He easily earned his place in the top 5. He's running from a tragic past, he is trying to be a better person, he has all the sex appeal of Varre' but actually bathes, and he is a GILF. In practice he probably isn't the BEST in bed, but he is rather romancable. He can still get it, since he was a highly trained warrior in the past, but I see myself cuddling him as he somberly adjusts his glasses and stares out the window. Don't get me wrong there is still a LOT of sweaty blood sex but he knows what he is doing and understands what soap is.

#4: Igon

He's a screamer. Broken legs, dirty armor, doesn't matter. The warriors code demands that we look into each other's eyes as we both cum. That is the only honorable way.

#3: Needle Knight Leda

She sucks. She willingly follows a loser wannabe god, and it's not even the mind control, she is just like that™ already. She is so bad at socializing with rational people who are already on her side that she jumps to murder without hesitation. She even killed all the first Needle Knights just cuz of her own paranoia. She should be at the bottom of this list... but a yandere is a yandere. It would be creepy, uncomfortable and she'd be very demanding and probably bite you in a very non-sexy way. But it would still be some of the best sex you'll ever have. You'd regret it just as much as you'd enjoy it, and you'd regret it for the rest of your life.

#2: Dragon Communion Priestess Florissax:

Lovelorn dragon lady who wants me to eat other dragons in a very sensual manner. I am not immune and neither are you.

#1: Dryleaf Dane

After that brush, he is distant. His training is cold and impersonal, he throws himself into his prayers, dedicating every waking moment to meditation. He sought to turn his flesh to iron, so why is the flesh so weak around you?

Hear me out. He's religious, he is dedicated to his cause, he tries to kill you, and he doesn't even say a word to you.

BUT.

Imagine what happens when you finally get him to break.

He is your master, teaching you in the dryleaf arts, the two of you sparring atop a waterfall and bruising your knuckles more and more with each strike. The two of you meditate together, seeking inner peace to further your warriors spirit. He is stoic, his heart closed off to you and his mind focused on his holy mission.

But he is temped, you can see it in his eyes, in the way he watches over you when you are hurt, the soft way his fist unclench after a battle, and the thick layer of sweat you share after sparring. Together you are hardening your bodies to become living weapons, but bodies are not only used for violence, and the two of you cannot ignore the tension that grows with each day, your bodies intertwining during a particularly heated duel, grappling turning slowly to wanton exploration. He comes to his senses right before it crosses the line and you see the fear in his eyes as he pulls away from you. But you wouldn't have stopped him and he knows it from the pleased expression on your face as you lie on your back, defeated.

When it finally happens, you are sparring, leaving nothing behind. You shed your armor to let the movements flow without hindrance and so does he, conflict apparent upon his face. You trade blow after blow, your bodies raw and sore but still you don't let up. The sun is setting and neither of you will relent, sweat coating every inch and the roar of the waterfall drowning out every thought that isn't dedicated to this battle.

He is getting sloppy, his eyes transfixed not on your fists but your face. A poorly placed sweep to your legs leaves him wide open and you go for the maneuver neither of you have attempted since the close encounter that frightened him so.

He struggles, pushing your arms and legs away fruitlessly as his exhaustion drains away his years of practice. Soon you are pinning him to the wet ground on the riverbed, his hair wild and his hat flung far out of arms reach. He looks like a cornered animal in your grasp, eyes bulging and his breathing haggard. You can only look down upon your former master with a gleeful hunger, his body already more familiar to you than your own.

In a moment of understanding you see the hesitation drain from eyes. He knows what he wants, and he is done denying it. You grab his face roughly and kiss him more violently than any punch you have thrown. He returns in kind and all the exhaustion seems to leave his body as he sits up and wraps both arms around you firmly, desperate to make up for lost time, his holy mission only to worship your body and the unbreakable bond you have forged in sweat and blood.

And then you bone.

We have all imagined that exact scenario, haven't we? I have yet to meet a Fromsoft fan who hasn't described that fantasy to me word for word without hesitation. I am just saying what we were all thinking.

(Pictured: a man I would fuck until he renounces his god.)

[f1byjessie]

A PICTURE IS WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS ━━ LN4.

sometimes the right words are hard to come across, and sometimes everything you need to say can be captured in an image.

( lando norris x photographer!reader )

━━ part three.

INSTAGRAM.

liked by mclaren, oscarpiastri, and 314,691 others

tagged: oscarpiastri, landonorris

yourusername is it time for bahrain yet?! can’t wait to see these two back in action again soon! 🧡

view all 4,981 comments

mclaren We keep asking ourselves the same thing! Our engines are ready and we’re raring to go! 🧡

↳ yourusername you truly understand me mclaren admin

↳ mclaren we think you’re the one who truly understands us y/n

↳ user y/n x mclaren admin?? 🤯 the plot twist none of us saw coming

user missing these lads so much lately

user THE RADIO SILENCE ON OSCAR’S SOCIALS WAS KILLING ME I DEPEND ON THESE MEN TOO MUCH THEY KEEP ME ALIVE 😭😭

user the f1 drought is real rn

user MCLAREN SUPREMACY 2024

↳ user i’m trying to be delulu but we all know it’s just gonna be the mv33 and redbull show again this year 🫤

user soooo are we all just gonna pretend like we didn’t see the pics of her with garrett ward orrrrr?

↳ user no bc i was just thinking the same thing 👀

↳ user wait that was actually her??? cuz you can like barely see her face so i thought it was just a joke???

user what a fake ass bitch

user she only posts other ppl on her acc cuz she knows her ugly ass face would scare everyone else away

user homegirl needs to stay tf away from my man fr 😤😤

user god what a hoe 😒 she already has these two that she could fuck with idk why she needed to go after garrett

user SLUT SLUT SLUT

user if she tries anything with anyone else on the city team i’m gonna lose my shit fr

↳ user same omg

↳ user honestly i’m just glad she didn’t go after grealish or haaland 🙌

↳ user she probably would’ve tried if they weren’t taken already 🙄

↳ user nah i bet she’s totally a homewrecker garrett’s probably just the first on her list

user oh… these comments… 😰

↳ user right???

INSTAGRAM.

liked by mancity, mclaren, and 198,131 others

tagged: mancity

yourusername the city boys know how it’s done! and looking pretty good in orange too 😉

view all 3,971 comments

mancity The lads are looking good indeed! This weekend’s match against Newcastle should be an exciting one! ⚽️🩵

mclaren ✍️ Jeremy ✍️ Doku ✍️ and ✍️ Ruben ✍️ Dias ✍️ McLaren ✍️ 2025

↳ mancity Do you think Lando Norris and Oscar Piastri would look good in sky blue? 🤔

user funny how she posts every city man BUT garrett

user god when does she go back to f1??

↳ user march iirc

↳ user well it can’t get here soon enough jfc

user FUCK OFF WE DON’T WANT YOU

user you’re a slag and should accept the fact that any guy would only want you bc of how easy you are

user i’ll bet my left leg that the only reason the f1 boys haven’t shacked up with her yet is cuz they know she’s probably riddled with disease since she drools over every guy that comes near her 😒 like girl needs to bffr and realize that throwing herself at every male in her vicinity isn’t gonna land her a husband and it just making her even more of a slut

↳ user nah i’ll bet they’ve all already done her over in f1 but nobody will touch her now that they’ve passed her round so she had to come over to football just to try and get someone to touch her again 🙄🙄🙄

user i hope garrett realizes how much of a slut she is and breaks up with her

user sick and tired of bitches like this getting with footballers and being all controlling. like i’ll bet she’s gonna tell garrett he can’t go out and party with his mates anymore bc he has to spend time in with her and then she’ll get all pissy about him having female fans bc she’s insecure and knows that if garrett got to meet a REAL fan he’d jump ship immediately. those of us who ACTUALLY care about footballers know their fans are super important to them and we wouldn’t hinder their relationship with them just bc we’re jealous or insecure. garrett needs to be with someone who actually supports him and is willing to let him do what he wants instead of controlling him like he’s a dog on a leash.

user kys like genuinely

user god i can’t wait for this skank to die 😒

“Hey Lando, it’s me. Your best friend. Again,” you give a humorless chuckle. “I could seriously use some of your wizened advice right about now, so, uh, please just give me a call back when you can. Thanks.”

It seems poetic in a cruel sort of way that less than a week ago you were walking Etihad Campus and feeling like you were on top of the world━ working a new albeit temporary gig, adding the Manchester City name to your list of clients, having photos of world-renowned footballers in your portfolio━ and now you’ve resigned yourself to hiding away in the women’s restroom, locked in a stall because it’s the only place you could think of where nobody would be able to find you.

You’re on the verge of tears and feeling rather stupid for it.

It’s the third time today alone that your call has gone straight to voicemail, and with the dozens of unread texts you’ve sent in the last week added to the mix, it’s starting to paint a picture you’re not very happy with. Lando is ignoring you. Or he’s blocked you. Or he’s blocked you because he’s ignoring you━

You bite down on your lip, hard, to keep back the sob crawling its way up your throat.

You’re not a PR officer, you hadn’t been lying when you told Garrett that, but you’ve spent enough time around the McLaren PR teams that you’ve picked up enough tips and tricks to know, at the very least, that the best thing you can do is just ignore the comments.

That’s what they tell all the athletes.

What they don’t tell the athletes is that ignoring the comments is much easier said than done, especially when your career requires you to have such a significant online presence. And the thing is, despite all of these strangers hounding you with every name under the sun and criticizing your capabilities, qualifications, and very existence, the thing that hurts the most is the radio silence from the only person you know could make it all better.

Now, more than ever, you need your best friend. But he isn’t here.

You tuck your phone into your jacket pocket and unlock the stall with great reluctance. You know better than to be hiding away, shirking your responsibilities while crying over a few missed phone calls. You have a job to do, and a real professional wouldn’t let something as simple as a handful of tasteless comments get in the way of that.

You should be used to them. It’s nothing you haven’t seen before.

Your first month at McLaren wasn’t entirely different.

When you were first hired on, Carlos had been in Formula One for a handful of years already and had built up a devotedly loyal fanbase with a decently large percentage of possessive fangirls who had come for your head the moment your existence had been announced.

The McLaren Instagram account had posted a picture of you standing between their two grinning drivers, your camera strung around your neck, with a very nice caption welcoming you to the team, and despite no indication that you were by any means involved with either of them in a way that went beyond professional, the comments had been taken over by feral teenage girls who saw the act of you simply standing near Carlos to be a direct threat against their “chances.”

Though it had been frustrating being met with childish threats and petty insults in your comments, you hadn’t really held it against any of them. You remember being a teenage girl and crushing on a celebrity. Deep down you knew you never had a chance with them, but that hadn’t stopped you from hanging posters in your bedroom and doodling their name beneath yours inside of scribbled hearts in your diary.

Regardless, it had taken close to a month for the negativity to die down, and you hadn’t had Lando then, either, so now shouldn’t be much different.

In fact, everyone on the Manchester City team━ trainers, physios, media coordinatiors, and anyone inbetween━ has been very polite about everything between you and Garrett. A lot of them have just avoided saying anything about it, which you’re very grateful for because you don’t think you’d be able to hold back your grimace while thanking them for their well wishes, and the few who have mentioned it typically only say something vague like a wishing you the best of luck or hoping you’re happy.

An intern gave you a sympathetic smile the other day, and you’d nearly burst into tears in the middle of the office of the Director of Communications, so you know you aren’t truly alone in this.

You just feel alone.

Exiting the bathroom is a simple affair. There’s no one standing post outside ready to give you any shit for being hidden away, and nobody comes sprinting around the corner as you make your way down the hall to the press conference room that’s been temporarily turned into your base of operations.

You think you’ll probably be able to go the rest of the afternoon without running into anyone, when you open your door and find━ sitting in the front row of the seats typically saved for journalists and the press, scrolling across his phone with a disinterested look painted across his face━ Jack Grealish.

“Jack,” you greet, a bit shocked. You close the door to the room gently behind you, and cross the distance to your desk. “Did we have a meeting scheduled? It must’ve completely slipped my mind, I sincerely apologize.”

He offers you a polite smile. “No, we didn’t, so no need to be sorry. I actually just wanted to check in. See how things are going with everything.”

You blink at him in surprise. Apart from Garrett, you haven’t really had much time to speak with the other players. They wish you good morning and good afternoon when they see you, and if a ball goes astray they always call out for you to watch your head, but between their morning training and their afternoon training, their strategy reviews at lunch, and the frequent in between meetings with physios, nutritionists, and trainers, they don’t get much time to chit chat with a simple photographer.

You clear your throat, “Erm, it’s going well. I’ve gotten some really good shots these past few days. There’s one with Rodrigo that I’m particularly proud of. It should do well with the fans.”

“And things with Ward?”

You purse your lips.

“Figured.” Jack sighs. “Look, nearly everyone you run into here knows or has at least some inkling into what he’s like. He’s a prick. None of the lads on the team like him, it’s why the managers are trying to get him out of here.”

You lower yourself down into your chair. “He told me they were planning to trade him off because of his reputation.”

Jack scoffs, “Yeah, ‘cause that’s the ‘official’ reason. They can’t cut his contract early for legal reasons, so they’re waiting for it to expire and coming up with an excuse for why they ain’t re-signing him. It’s really just ‘cause the rest of us can’t keep dealing with his massive ego and the fact that he’s a misogynistic fuck who doesn’t know the first thing about respect.”

“Fucking tell me about it,” you mutter with a sigh.

If he expected you to defend Garrett and is surprised by the fact that you haven’t, Jack doesn’t show it. He looks relaxed sitting across from you, like you’re having a casual conversation and not actively shit talking a member of his team. It gives you the impression that he knows significantly more about Garrett than you do, and that because of what he knows he probably figured out that one party in the relationship is not the most willing of participants.

“How’d you get all wrapped up it in then? Didn’t figure you to be the type to go after pricks like Ward.”

You debate over whether you should tell him or not. There isn’t much Jack can do about the situation regardless, but it would at least get things off your chest and if someone else knew then maybe you wouldn’t feel so alone anymore.

There’s only so many days you can spend hiding out in the women’s restroom trying not to bawl your eyes out, and you’ve already reached your limit.

You heave a sigh, “It’s kind of fucked up really.” A pen on your desk catches your attention and you start to fiddle with it, avoiding Jack’s eyes which have focused directly onto you. “He asked if I would help him fix up his reputation by pretending to be his girlfriend so he could show everyone that he’s matured and can hold down a steady relationship. When I told him no, he threatened to make up a lie about inappropriate conduct to get me fired and blacklisted from the industry, so for the sake of preserving my career I agreed.”

“Bloody fucking hell,” Jack murmurs, shaking his head. “I’m real sorry he did that, Y/N.”

You shrug. “It’s happened, so, there’s nothing I can really do except wait it out at this point.”

When you look up and meet his gaze, Jack looks murderous. His hands are clenched into fists on the armrests, knuckles white with the strength of his grip. His brows are furrowed, and his lips are twisted downward in a scowl.

“If you need anything,” he starts, “let me know. And I mean it. We all know how Ward can be. He’s a knobhead. So if you need anything━” his emphasis on the word and what that implies makes you feel more comforted than anything has since the whole fiasco started, “━then you let me know, or you tell one of the other boys and they’ll find me, alright?”

All you can do is nod.

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━━ tags: @maih23 @urfavnoirette @leclercsluv @f1luvur @formulaal @a-disturbing-self-reflection @starlightpierre @chezmardybum @marshmummy @405rry

━━ a/n: no lando yet, but we've got a cutesy little grealish scene to make up for it because i couldn't have a story with manchester city and not include him! lowkey writing this part made me wanna write for a footballer too... anyways! hope you all enjoy!

[presidentbungus]

Distractions - engie/medic, ~1k

ao3

finally returning to the time-honored art of feverishly scribbling down a short little science party fic in the middle of the night. my brain disease is back. please enjoy

“I have to say, laborer, I expected better from you.”

His back hits the wall, bare head thunks against it. He lost his hard hat in the first scuffle. And his shotgun. And his pistol. The metal of the gun barrel pressed against his forehead ain’t cold anymore.

Part of him wishes the son of a bitch would get on with it already. The other part of him, though, is the one that’s making him sweat like a stuck pig, and is the one locking his mouth shut.

Good ol’ instinct for ya. Won’t even let you bite yourself in the ass.

Spy just sits there for a second, that smug-poodle look on his face, and he tilts his head. Keeps making a show of fidgeting with the trigger, like he doesn’t even know how stupid it looks. “Not going to say anything? Any last words, laborer?”

“What, you want an autograph?”

He laughs at that, but not in the nice way. “I don't think you are in a position to speak to me that way."

"I think you're in a great position to take a hike and go stick that goddamn muzzle—“

Spy makes a big old ruckus of adjusting his grip on the gun, so he shuts up.

“You are pathetic,” Spy says, sweet ‘n simple. “Hm?”

What a hypocrite. Engineer might hear something—Spy’s being too full of himself to pay any attention. Tap-tap-tap. Footsteps, perfectly even.

“Are you not going to reply to me?”

Engineer just smiles, politely. “Ain’t you supposed to be a good spy?”

Spy hears it too, by now, and he should know better than to relax his grip on the gun when the calculation runs through his pea brain.

Flash of white. Stomp-stomp-stomp. A glower that’s mad enough to probably kill on its own. Engineer grips the barrel of the revolver in his fist while he's distracted, points it at the ceiling as a gunshot rings out and a lotta emotions run through Spy’s face at once—fear-related, mostly.

And, well, he should’ve known better than to put his back to a doorway.

He doesn’t even get to turn around before Medic grips the back of his suit and thrusts the übersaw straight through his head. Engineer whistles at the bit of brain coating the edge as Medic twists once, laughs, and dislodges it, leaving Spy to fall to the ground like a bag of rice.

“Shameful,” he tuts.

Engie stands up, dusts himself off, goes to grab his hard hat but he’s stopped by an arm wrapping around his waist, pulling him in close.

He half-complains till Medic pulls him into a very sudden kiss and, well, that shuts him right up. Whenever they pull away (which takes a while) Medic frowns and says: “What, not even a thank-you?”

“Well.” He’s a little breathless, to be honest. “Gimme a second.”

Medic hums and releases him. “I marched across the entire field. Soldier is going to try to murder me when I get back. Nevertheless he will not succeed, but it will be annoying. You should be grateful.”

“The whole field, huh? And you knew I was in trouble?”

“I have a sixth sense for these things, Engineer. And you are very predictable, you know.”

Engineer finds his hat in the corner of the room, dusts it off, and puts it back on, going back over to Medic to pat his admittedly finely sculpted chest. “Well, either you’re psychic or you put a chip in my spine you’re refusin’ to tell me about. Which one do ya think’s more likely?”

“It’s very important to me to keep tabs on your health,” he says, simply.

“I’m sure it is.”

“Besides, don’t act like you weren’t waiting for me to come rescue you.”

"Well, it’s your fault for making me dependent,” he muses, yanking on that nice straight tie of his just for the little wheeze that pulls out of him. “I could handle it myself if I really wanted to.”

“Oh, I'm sorry." Medic puts a hand on his back, grins, and then lifts him up in a bridal carry, cackling as he yelps, gently knocking their foreheads together. Then: "I suppose I'll just have to stop saving you, Schatz. Keep you on your toes, yes?”

“Hey now. Never said that.”

“I just feel so unappreciated, Engineer… never get any thanks for the things I do…”

Well.

Engineer grips him real tight by the tie (again) and brings him in and they almost fall over on top of each other, but Medic catches himself on a wall which Engineer bangs his head against and somehow they manage to find their way to each other in the meantime. The kiss is short, sweet, and vicious, and Engineer pulls away to wait for Medic to go in himself and he does not hesitate one second, which was really the whole endgame anyway. Eventually Medic sets him down and pins him instead and that’s great and all but right against the wall where he is, a lot of what he’s getting is just a nice round view of Spy’s mangled corpse spilled across the ground.

Which is definitely something. It’s hard to find space with how Doc’s basically mauling him but eventually he manages to push him back, and he takes a second to catch his breath and says: “I’m sorry but the corpse is kinda ruining the mood for me.”

Medic looks back… then forward, to Engineer, with a huge sigh. “That makes sense.”

Engineer smiles, finally releasing his death-grip on Medic’s tie and placing a hand on his chest that in concept is supposed to push him away, though he stays right in place and doesn’t seem to get the message. “And look, I’m sorry to be the one who has to say this, but we should probably get back to work soonish, anyway.”

He pouts. “Oh, nonsense.”

“How long’ve you been away? Soldier’s gonna rip you apart.”

“I will simply rip Soldier apart before he rips me apart.”

“… I don’t think that’s how it works.”

“You don’t know that.”

Engineer can’t keep down a scoff. “We are the two people on the whole team who shouldn’t go missing under any circumstances.”

Medic finally pushes away, grumbling. “You always do this.”

“I like my job. You like your job, I think. Right?"

"... Well..."

"Oh, c'mon, darlin'."

He leans down until their foreheads are touching. “I’m afraid I don’t like my job as much as I like you.”

Engineer can’t resist the urge to peck him on the nose after that, but he swiftly sidesteps the revenge kiss and starts heading out of the room. Whatever indignant thing Medic shouts is covered over by him shouting back: “We’ll reconvene!”

And all he gets back from that is a very protracted groan, and at least the mental image of two hideous kitten-eyes, and that's good enough for him for now.

[icarusredwings]

I know it's like 10 in the morning, but I can't stop thinking about Wade still being a massive flirt at the mansion. No staff is safe.

So I have this oc insert, right? (Similar to Carly), except her power is that she can absorb energy forms and nutrients in order to heal others by giving their bodies what they need to quicken the healing process. She can fix papercuts in 2 seconds and gashes that are less than 1 inch deep and 3 inches wide within 30 seconds, 6 inches a minute, and so on. The deeper it is, the longer it takes because that's multiple layers of replenishing. (She can't regrow your leg but if you get shot or stabbed she can probably fix you up in a couple of minutes)

You'll still have a scar, but at least you'll be okay, and you won't hurt for long. Her mutation bassically allows her to reporoduce healthy cells, not by replacing them but rather giving them what they need to heal themselves. This applies to burns, brusies, some diseases, and spotted infections, meaning a certain someone is in her office often.

A bit too often...

Now.. keep in mind that because of her powers, her weight fluctuates quickly depending on how much she uses it (COUGH kinda like fatgum COUGH) if you get my drift so sometimes her clothes are too tight or too loose for her. Realitivly (and for the ladies 😌 I got you lesbians!! I see you!) Her body is "thicker" as one would say seeing as she needs to store this energy for emergencys.

I just imagine Wade coming to bug this poor woman, jumping up on the table like, "I got a booboo 😁 can you fix it? You ARE the school nurse, right?"

She asks where and he's like "Well. You know. Down. No, down. Double down."

Until she just blinks at him all fed up like

What's even funnier is that she's hard of hearing so when he first came to flirt with her after meeting her she just stared at him dumfound as he goes through all the lanauges he knows before taking it as a challenge, so now most days when she hears him coming she either pretends she can't hear him or takes her hearing aids out.

Which is really funny because it gets to a point where she's just sitting here eating a sandwich and Wades trying his damndest to flirt in broken Portuguese.... Last week was Russian. What's even worse is that she was born and raised in the US, and her first language is English.

Warning: Sad under here but also funny.

Tw: Eating problems, Wade talks about being underweight, cancers a bitch.

I always thought about Wade and how his body is too big for someone who is experiencing cancer 24/7. How his muscle is even made of cancer cells, and I wonder about his joints, if the cartilage between there and the fat within the muscle/tendons/ skin too?

@bougiebutchbitch made me think about it with scientific cancer talking. Blame them for your sad not me /jk give me all the credit for the sad, I love being known as "That one guy who writes really sad shit but its so fucking good" anyway-

Eventually, he starts telling her stuff that would concern most people, that he wouldnt dare tell his friends because its too vaunerable, thinks he doesn't even want to tell Logan because he physically NEEDS to talk to someone but is too afraid. And seeing as he assumes she doesn't understand him what so ever, tells her stuff like how he's trying really hard to keep his weight maintained, but he just CAN'T keep anything down or in him long enough. It's like the moment something is in his gut, the cancer takes every ounce, and immediately, he's starving again, feeling malnourished, and as if he didn't eat at all.

And while Logan doesn't judge him for it, he's gotten various comments about it before. That he eats too much, that he eats too little, that people can feel his ribs, how they "didn't think he'd be this thin" how his strength "dosn't match his body." And it's something he can't really do anything about, but now they're at the mansion, so he's getting meals, a lot of them, but now Logan is wanting him to gain some weight. But he can't. He's trying so hard, and he just... cant. Between the involuntary vomiting induced by the nausea that comes along with stomach and throat cancers, it's a miracle his ribs aren't visible anymore.

"Im used to starving- thats not the point. I starved as a kid, starved in the army, starved as an adult. I've been there, done that, but this place always has so much food, and the kids in Remy's class work so hard to make it, but -" He choked up, making a whining sound. "It's not that I don't want too.. I swear.. I just... can't. I never could. By rights my metabolism should be dead, but it just never stops."

By now, he's fingering at his pants, gripping his jeans, and is semi hunched over, trying not to cry in front of her. He has no clue why he's telling her this, actually. Maybe for sympathy? Maybe because he thinks she could fix him? Or maybe because he knew she wouldn't say anything in return. Either way, he's trying to keep the tears where they belong, but they're being disobedient. Wiping them, he figures fuck it and keeps going.

"I just don't.. I don't want him to be disappointed in me. He loves me so much, and I know that. Sure, deep down, I wonder why, but what if.. what if he doesn't? What if he leaves because I can't because I'll look like this forever? It's not my fault. I can't do anything about it - I... I don't want him to think i'm not trying... because I am trying. Really hard.." He sniffles and notices that she's looking at him, quickly making a joke. "Heh.. you don't have a problem like that, though, do you?"

Wordlessly, she puts her hand on his stomach, looking away as she tries to at least help for today. It wouldn't last. It never did for him. She couldn't "cure cancer" but she could replace this areas cells with new ones so it would take longer for the other cells to infect them. If she could temporarily give him relief enough to eat something and be proud about it? (Just enough to stop his whining?) That would be good use of her energy.

At first, he flinches, thinking she's had enough of him and now is smacking him away only to pause, feeling odd on the inside. "What the hell are you do- Wait a second, you understand me!?"

As a ploy, she shakes her head, only to instantly regret it when he gasps. "You do!! Why didn't you tell me!?"

So, by helping a coworker with an upset tummy, she now suffers the fact that he now KNOWS she understands him and blabs about anything and everything to her. He finds it comforting because she does the same thing that Logan used to do before they started dating. He would act like he's ignoring him but heard and litsened to every word.

If Logan is busy, this is where he spends his lunch, in the nurses office like a chump who can't make friends at any other table, yapping to her about his kids and their progress, telling her the plot to my little pony, complaining that puppins threw up on his pillow today, giggling because next week is his and Logan's first anniversary and hes so nervous about it but he planned this big thing.

She dosn't say a word, letting him rant, responding with head tilts, shrugs, nods and shakes of her head.

"Wait- are you even litsening?"

She nods.

"Why don't you talk?"

"...."

"Can you talk??"

She nods again.

"Do you just not like to talk?"

A shrug.

"It's probably because she's tired of you harassing her."

Wade gasps and squeals happily the way he does every single time Logan came to "deal with him" when he was being disruptive to someone else's work.

"Why are you in here again? Leave that poor woman to her work before she puts a restraining order on you" He teases.

"Oh come on. Ciara, tell him that you love it. Our little talks, yeah? Theyre the highlight of your day?"

"The highlight of my day is when you leave." This is the first sentence she says to him. He gasps drimatically with his hand on his chest, offended. "Oh NOW you can talk!??"

A nod.

"*Bunny fuckin' bitch.." he grumbles as Logan takes him away.

"Cancercock...." She mutters back.

Logan stifles a laugh, looking away from Wade's dropped jaw. "I TOLD YOU THAT IN SECRET!!"

*If you made it this far, congrats! He calls her this because Jackrabbit's (Her daughter Cherri Harper) father is a is a rabbit mutant. She's of Deer mutant descent, which is how she gets her tail and abnormal ears Fawn (Ciara Garcia) has Waardenburg syndrome, which causes her deafness, loss of pigmentation in hair skin and eyes, and her arm growth adnormalities.

[alannybunnue]

Ok, Imagine: Muzan Kibutsuji with a Wife

Don't question it, ya'll asked for this

But i doubt you imagine something like this...Anyway, enjoy my nonsense :3

[THERE MIGHT BE TRIGGERS WARNINGS, SO BEWARE]

The Demon Queen

= The Backstory =

(I get it, the title is not original, but it makes more sense than anything)

So Muzan is a arrogant little shit and everyone knows it.

But imagine him being married to a unbreakable sunshine

So everything began 1000 years before the main events, in the Heian Era, when Muzan was still a human.

Political marriages were pretty common back then, so you may be asking "Who in their sane minds would marry their daughter to a man on the brink of death?!" Well, our dear reader's shitty parents :3 (Which technically...her mother is me 0-0)

It obviously wasn't a very enjoyable marriage, especially with Muzan's depressing and negative personality, but his wife never change her demeanor, it didn't matter how many times he would cuss at her, she remained at his side everytime with kind smile on her face.

Muzan honestly saw her as a stupid woman who settled down for a impossible dream (Which was them living a normal married life)

So in his mind, he couldn't understand what made her stay with him day and night, waiting for the moment he somehow would be cured from his disease.

She even kept her mouth shut when he killed that Doctor :|

...But then he began to change

And it wasn't impossible to notice, he seemed more energetic, didn't stayed in bed all day like before.

However, he no longer stayed away for shades, his poor wife only found Muzan where the Sun couldn't touch him.

Which made her confused to the extreme, and the poor thing couldn't handle curiosity for long, even if her bitch of a husband wouldn't say a thing...until that one night.

At first, Muzan was going to kill her, at least he was, until she saw him walking towards her normally and became extremely emotional, and went up to her husband and hugged like her life depended on it. (No, she didn't notice the bodies nor the blood)

And as annoying as that would be to the Demon King, he indulged on it for a while, until his brain began to work and he remembered all the times this woman stayed by his side when he was at his worse.

So he transformed her :)

= Muzan as a Yandere + Some details =

One thing that must be made clear, is the detail that Muzan is not in love, he sees his darling more of a living possession than someone he is infatuated with. Using her ultimate devotion for his mere benefit.

Of course, the other reason is because he is already used to his wife's shiny personality and having to look for another woman to disguise himself among humans is too much work.

And yes, after some centuries, he begins to feel bothered whenever she isn't around him, or whenever someone else is with close to his wife.

But that isn't love! It's more like if another child stole his favorite toy.

Surely enough, he won't punish the poor woman too much, she is naive, he knows that...so giving her the silent treatment is enough to make the bubbly sweetheart cling onto him for attention. It still annoys him? Yes. But does he also finds it endearing? Also yes.

Now, does she sees his cruelty and lack of empathy? Yes, however, she is now a demon, she lived centuries with her husband telling her not to mind what they do to humans, nowadays she just can only focus on how much she loves him (My child, wtf-)

Now with demons...it's another story, you see, since she was a human, she always wanted children, but considering the man she got married to...yeah, that was impossible :D

So in her mind, the demons are her children, so whenever Muzan is agressive with them...she is really upset (Let's not comment about when he killed the Lower Moons...my baby cried all night) However, she doesn't say anything, because she can't.

Whenever Muzan can't stay with his wife, he only trusts two demons to take care of her properly

Yeah that's right, Mister Six Eyes and Basketball Man, Kokushibo and Akaza

Both are the most responsible in the group anyway, so they are more than enough to keep the woman in one place...

...But they don't stop her when she wants to stay with others too, except Akaza when she wants to visit Douma.

And Muzan can't complain much, cuz she is safe and sound when he returns, so why bother? (Or that is what she tells him, so he won't lash out on her kids •-•)

So in resume, Muzan is a bitch to everyone but his sunshine wife, but he is not in love- Or that is what he tells himself? :)

〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓

A/N: This honestly is kinda funny and cute somehow?? Muzan is one of the characters that i most despise and i still gave him a Wife...and i gave the Demons a Mom. Hope y'all enjoyed

[soleminisanction]

The discussions of elements and factions being 'defanged' in Veilguard alternately annoy and amuse me for two reasons.

One, because this has always been a series about how almost everything and everyone has multiple sides and interpretations depending on who you are, what choices you make, and what your perspective is. Is Loghain a scheming traitor, a ruthless pragmatic doing what he believed was necessary to save his country, or a misunderstood hero unfairly condemned by the ignorant masses? Is the Qun tyrannical, or exactly what the people who choose to live under it need? Is Solas a rebellious hero, a traitorous trickster god, or a tragic victim? Is that woman Flemeth, Mythal, Tyrdda Bright-Axe or even Adraste?

It all depends on who you ask when. So of course you're seeing the Crows in a positive light -- circumstances position them as freedom fighters against the Antaam invasion, and for one of your teammates they're literally family. And even then they're still as strongly coded with mafia tropes as Neve is a noir detective. And of course you need to go poking around before you find the pile of dead bodies the Lords of Fortune are hiding behind their fighting ring. Pirates are all about branding, and Isabella's branding is clearly inclusion and good times; they keep the unpleasantness under the rug.

The second reason this amuses/annoys/interests me is it reminds me of Pathfinder. The Pathfinder Roleplaying Game came out in 2009, just like DA Origins, and like DA its setting tried to distinguish itself with "real-world" grit and grittiness. Slavery. Racial tensions. Religious persecution. Mass slaughter. Infestation and disease. Plus the occasional demonic invasion and a shitton of dragons.

But it's been 15 years since then, we live in a post-HBO's Game of Thrones world, and both sides of the game industry have made deliberate efforts to become more diverse. Some of those changes came with discussions to readdress and reconsider the nature of dark fantasy and whether it really needs to be a parade of potentially exploitive human misery.

So I know for a fact that Paizo's made deliberate efforts to pull back on some of those aspects to make things more welcoming for a diverse player base, doing things like outlawing slavery across the entire setting, reinterpreting 'evil' ancrestries like orcs and goblins into fully-developed cultures, and giving the exoticized "fantasy Asia/Africa/India/Americas" setting new, in-depth and cultural respectful re-examinations.

And people bitch about that, too.

So my read is Bioware's doing the same thing for similar reasons, and personally, I like it. Is it perfect? No of course not but we all know what a nightmare this game's development was. They did good with what they had.

[sunthyme]

🎆 New year, new headcanons!! 🎆

Hey, so I've been a bit dead for a hot sec, apologies for that. Hope y'all are having a good break! Now, for something that's been in the works since August (drum roll please)...

🎉 REDONE TWST HEADCANONS!! 🎉

First up, yet again...

♥️ Heartslabyul ♥️

WAHOO! Ignore that you can clearly see which I had to redo lol, that's going to be a bit of a theme as I looked back and wasn't super happy with some so I redid them until I got it right.

Since y'all know the characters this time, I'll be just adding new or changed things to my earlier posts. :D

Enjoy!

♥️ Riddle Rosehearts ♥️

So pretty much nothing changed from the original with Riddle, I just made her look better. Yippee!

Added thing for my University Headcanon/AU is major and I see Riddle being an English and Law major.

♣️ Trey Clover ♣️

Once again, nothing really changed except for the fact that I learned to draw him better. I gave him a labret piercing that I think would have been one of Cater's first piercings, which thankfully went well.

He'd obviously be a Culinary major.

♦️ Cater Diamond ♦️

Speaking of Cater, this one was a bitch to draw. I literally redid him three times, send help. (I'll reblog this with the extra between version for y'all to see)

A new headcanon for him is that he's the kind of character that has his eyes closed for the most part and only opens them when he's like super serious. I just felt it fit him. (I'll also attach that in the reblog)

He's very heavily gyaru inspired (shout out to @/Cayfourdiamonds on Pinterest, I loved his edits of Cater and they were my inspo) and I wanted him to curl his hair in the mornings, princess curl style. He has naturally straight hair and the freckles are indeed fake.

He's a Cosmetology and Communications major.

♠️ Oki Chiang ♠️

She's a Sociology major and her birthday is October 4th (Libra). She's apart of the Poetry Club (OC club).

Nothing much changed here either, though I tinkered with her skin tone to amp up the contrast and shifted to blue to a darker hydrangea-y colour.

(Edit: I forgot, I have UM for my ocs now!)

Unique Magic - "Who Are You?": Creates a mist as Oki recites the spell that induces confusion. The confusion will last up to two hours after the mist fades, depending on the strength of the person affected.

♣️ Luna Madden ♣️

Another one I had to redo twice because GOD, the in between was SO UGLY!! Ew. Anyways, way cuter now! I gave him swirly eyes for funsies and trimmed down the colours in his makeup so it's more cohesive.

They're an Art and Psychology major and their birthday is January 22nd (Aquarius). It's in the Science Club.

She uses mobility aids, alternating between a cane and braces depending on the day, due to Multiple Sclerosis (an autoimmune disease that impacts the spine).

Unique Magic - "It's Tea Time!": Conjures a pre-set tea table fitting Luna's desires. The bigger the table and the more items, the harder it is for Luna to make.

♥️ Ace Trappola ♥️

Oh boy, another redone one. I went a bit ham with his design, I really wanted to make him look like a heart. Found the braid idea on Pinterest, as one does, and ran with it. He's so cute, he looks like a heart lollipop. Also, I gave him braces because I love that idea so so much!

He's undecided in his major.

♠️ Deuce Spade ♠️

I adore how this one turned out, he's my son and my boy. Nothing really changes aside from style improvement and I gave him better bangs.

Also an undecided major. (Adeuce twinning frfr)

♥️ Bunnie Chrona ♥️

She's a Psychology major and her birthday is June 30th (Cancer). A part of the Track & Field Club.

Ooh, she's so cute, I love her sm! I gave her vitiligo and stripes in her hair to imitate those splotched black and white bunnies that are so adorable. I did make the interesting choice to give her blue eyes, not for any particular reason, they just contract the red undertones well.

Unique Magic - "Killing Time": Bunnie's speed will increase for an hour, making her go at an inhuman speed.

♦️ Ness Benoit ♦️

She's a Drama major and her birthday is May 25th (Gemini). They're in the Film Research Club.

Finally, Nessie! They also had an in between but they actually looks more like the OG than that one lmao. Gave her some little devil tail earrings and just made the hair confirmedly into a wig. Also gave them a lil fang :3

Unique Magic - "Devilish Charm": Allows Ness to appear differently or say different things to different people. It takes more energy the more people she is using it on.

Stay tuned for Savanaclaw, up next!

[scri--bble]

MOLD LORE DUMP TIMEE

So before Chara fell into the underground and caused the disease to happen and all Mold was one of the royal scientists (in undermold there was more than him and alphys,fight me), he was this nervous little guy that had somewhat of an attitude, When Chara did fall down and die in the Dreemurr's home, the mold disease spreading made Mold turn paranoid before eventually getting infected and being taken over by it

now he's this almost non-talkative but angry guy, hes sorta dead??? the mold disease keeps him alive like almost everyone else

after getting infected he kinda lost his mind and he turned violent, he still cares dearly about Papyrus even tho his mind is flooded with paranoia

he usually just sits at his booth and tries to rest,even tho the tendrils crawling around him make it uncomfortable all the time(same for the other characters who got tendrils :P), it's painful too cuz the tendrils grow out of his bones (arms and legs and his ribcage)

he likes laying in the snow for some reason and no he doesnt make snow angels (unless ;3)

notes:

the reason his pupils are gone is because the tendrils got to the inside of his head and are crawling outta his eyes (his left eye is entirely covered up,while the other one just a little,enough to let him see), so hes half blind

you cant get rid of the tendrils, theyre a part of him now, they can regen too (depending on how strong/powerful the monster is )

his attacks are slower now,since he feels alot more easily tired and uneasy

he also needs to puke every now and then because the disease cant contain his power which causes him to vomit tendrils (so you might see black liquid dripping from his mouth,idfk hoe), he doesnt puke often like idfk 2 maybe 3 times a week

Mold is... probably bi? still haven't entirely decided but he's definitely a man liker

he's in distress and paranoia most of the time, 1. because hes worried about Papyrus (who's doing actually alot more better than him💀) and 2. He hates having to vomit every week and is walking back and forth nerve-wracked that he can puke any second now without realizing early(he needs a bucket... or a toilet???? fuck)

he puts on this big boy act around others, when it comes to Frisk falling into the underground, Mold would probably be this quiet but tough guy who's a real alpha male...heh.

he has trouble reading obviously (the tendrils tend to move around in his skull,making him distracted easily or making his eyesight worsen or better every now and then ( IDK THE WORDS)

his character in a few words: cold hearted,paranoid, nervous, introverted, sarcastic, a whiny ass bitch when he's drunk (very real of him), easily disgusted (like by a comment or opinion or something)

OK IM MAKING THIS TOO LONG MOST OF YALL WONT WANNA READ.

the color palette i used in the first drawing is

cant find the blog i got it from

[sharp-silver4795]

EJ is a cat, istg

Important Information: these are head canons about how cat-like EJ is, impersonal “you” form is used.

Warnings: mentions of sickness (no clue how I got there), v0m1t, d34th/mourning, po15on, ven0m, respiratory obstructions, c4nc3r and other IRL issues/diseases are briefly mentioned.

He purrs. HE. PURRS.

He loves being pet. Specifically some good scritches

Scritch his head, behind his ears, or even his chin.

Depending on how much he likes what’s going on, you can feel it in his back, chest, neck, or all three.

Wiggle Wiggle

The demon has a lot of “soft spots” that make his whole body vibrate with how happy it makes him.

When he rests on top of you and you rub that spot just below his ribs he’s practically wiggling around- Do. NOT. Stop!!

He thumps his foot or headbutts when he’s excited. He’ll even try to headbutt the air.

Unsolicited Licking

If you’re sitting calmly together, and he feels safe, you’re going to be licked.

Specifically near your wrists and forearms.

He does it out of love, and showing you that he feels safe, so he proves that you are safe. He’s not biting you, right?

*Bap*

He’s a playful motherfucker when he wants to be.

Granted, it’s not a full on *bap*, it’s really just ‘Bitch! Gimme pets. You have no choice.’

Warning Signs: How NOT to die

If his tail is moving a lot, run. He has barbs that extend when he’s threatened. It’s more of a last resort, if one comes off he’ll be bleeding for a long while, but he will break one off under your skin if it feels necessary.

He can “purr” when he’s sad. When he stretches out his neck and flings his head back a bit (I hope this makes sense) almost like he’s reaching for something but just with his head, he makes small noises/vibrations in his throat. He’s lonely, sad, stressed, anything like that.

He’s sleeping in the open. Bitch, no he isn’t. At his core, he’s a great hunter. Even in the animal kingdom, it isn’t uncommon for predators to make themselves look harmless. The second you get close enough, you’re dead.

Warning Signs: He’s Sick

The “cat stretch” means he’s either starving or about to puke. Usually the latter.

White flakes on his skin is a common, semi-deadly, disease for the Rose Demons. It’s called Skaal (scale). Make sure he doesn’t open his mouth and that he doesn’t touch it. It will go away on its own if he leaves it alone.

Despite how it looks, if he’s rubbing his face on the floor, it means there’s probably something stuck- either in his eye sockets, his throat, side vents, anything. Do. Not. Approach. You will end up in the obituaries tomorrow.

If there’s a white goop coming out of his mouth and he’s gagging, give him the Heimlich ASAP! If you leave him he’s gonna blow up his organs- literally, he probably forgot to breathe and now has too much hydrogen bouncing around his body.

It’s not as bad as you think

White foam from his mouth is NOT rabies. He can’t get rabies. However, he CAN overeat and get himself sick. Being the prideful dumbass he is- he doesn’t wanna puke, even if he knows it’s best if he does and that if he refuses to he’s gonna make it worse on himself later. If there’s white shit coming out of his mouth, yank him to the nearest bathroom and lock him in there his claws are too big for most push-locks. It’s better that way.

If he looks like he’s twitching and he seems pale, get the fuck out! Let Liu handle him!! 🔞

He has random mounds on his back when he’s hungry. He doesn’t get cysts or cancer, so he’s just hungry. Back away or get eaten.

If it looks like he has a snake in his abdomen, like something is moving in there, let Liu handle him. 🔞

If he looks really pale, and his liquid keeps coming out of his sockets and his mouth, he isn’t sick. He’s mourning. It could be a lot of things, but just let him cope for a while.

Divider Creds: Sister-Lucifer

Header Creds: MEEE!!

[mrs-snape5984]

“I'll be there to comfort you. I build my world of dreams around you. I'm so glad that I found you…”

“I'll be there to protect you, with an unselfish love that respects you. Just call my name, and I'll be there…” (“I’ll be there” by Mariah Carey feat. Trey Lorenz)

21 years of my life, I was seeking for comfort in my love for Severus Snape. From the very first moment, when I’ve found this bitter and sarcastic dungeon bat in “Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s/Sorcerer’s Stone”, it felt like embracing the love of my life. All I wanted, was to care for him…to be there for him. In all my fictions and imaginations, I only tried to make Severus feel loved and cared for by my OC Jules. I devoted my heart and soul to him, no matter how much mockery and disbelief I experienced from others for my dedication.

In these past 21 years of my existence, I had to endure some hardships, which only moulded my character even further into the woman, I am today. Yes, I must admit…on the one hand, I’m a bitter and sarcastic bitch person with suicidal tendencies (well, thank you, ME/CFS, you cruel disease!) and a dark and twisted humour. But on the other hand, I’m still a very caring and loving person with a pathetically weak black little heart. I’m literally the combination of my interpretation of Severus and my OC Jules…with all their flaws and vulnerabilities.

Since I’m struggling with the torturous symptoms of ME/CFS, I’m dependent on other people’s help…which is probably the most challenging thing for me. I’m imprisoned in myself, solely surrounded by darkness and solitude in my room. Suddenly, there are people, who are helping me with my children and my household. There’s my best friend Miri, who’s either forcing me to eat and drink something from time to time…or who’s helping me to wash my hair. She’s also the person in my life, who will always listen to my pathetic complaints about my misery or the latest episode of the “Sevy & Jules Show” in my head. 😅 And straight off the wide universe of the internet, two other idiots lovely human beings slithered into my life…enlightening at least my inner gloominess with their wit, their chaotic energy - which will drive me into madness sooner or later - and their loving presence.

Miri, Magda (@vulnus-sanare) and Richie (@preciousthelmadonna), you are the kindest, most compassionate and undeniably most beautiful souls, I’ve ever met. Without you all, I would have gone insane, already! I’m thanking the universe every single day for allowing me to be your friend…even though I wished, I could repay you for everything tenfold by being a better companion to all of you. Please, believe me, when I’m telling you, that I love you. 🖤🖤🖤

This mesmerising artwork of my OC Jules, who’s taking care of her sleepy husband Severus, was made by the incredibly talented and kind @severus-snaps. My dear, it was a pleasure to witness the process of creating this masterpiece and I enjoyed our nocturnal conversations immensely. I’m glad, that I dared to reach out to you after seeing your work on your blog….and I’m looking forward for our next project, which is already in the making. Thank you for everything! 🥹

🖤Severus & Julia🖤

🖤Sevy & Jules🖤