#bison is really at his marry a version of your mother best

[fadelbison]

obsessed how it was the whole "overprotective big brother" thing that had Bison invested in Kant

oh boy i am obsessed with how i was totally wrong with how the brother's dynamic would turn out! episode one really turned out to be a smokescreen of false impressions of all the characters I think that gets overturned pretty quickly.

But on the topic of Bison and Fadel, I was sure that it was Fadel with the festering devotion (which he does have) and Bison projecting the resentments of his cage onto Fadel (which he also does do) but I think after ep4, we can do some recontextualizing especially for Fadel and I find that those emotions are much stronger in reverse.

You have to understand why I thought Bison was the one harboring most of the resentment because he expresses it in ep1

And again in ep2 and frankly a lot of it feels directed at Fadel. And there's a third even more exasperated one in episode 3! Part of the re-contextualizing post ep4 is that Bison thinks Fadel has a lot more power than he actually does (because he doesn't know that Fadel has tried and already failed to do exactly the thing that Bison is asking for)

But then its Fadel that has the outburst over it in ep4!!! And to Style!!! An outsider!!!! Bison had the decency to wait till he's home. And this outburst is neither manly nor repressed. Joong spends a lot of time as Fadel just trying to be sexy while doing regular things but certainly not here!!! I don't know if Fadel was half hoping that Style would see he is inflicted with those gross things called Feelings and be like Nope! That's a Dealbreaker, right there!

He's terrified and he is so so angry, like he got a little twitchy there by the end, about the fact that he had feelings for Style, he's simply not in denial over them is he? Fadel overall, surprisingly doesn't actually seem all that repressed. Yes, he's a very traumatized character and the range of his facial expressions is locked within some realm of grump BUT he's very aware of his damage and he's being more practical - because he is fully aware of the very steep consequences - than he is afraid of having An Emotion. Like his primary struggles are not a simple Man's Locked Feelings Vault the way they appear to be at first.

I think Fadel shutting Bison out of his life actually does make so much sense and the narrative is so sympathetic towards Fadel that it's easy to miss that it's damaged Bison a lot. It really pains me that the only real attempt at vulnerability with Bison comes like this:

I think Bison aches for some vulnerability from Fadel. And he gets it when Fadel is at his last straws to protect Bison and for him to take seriously the dangers that Kant in particular poses. It's just so obvious to me now why Bison made acting out and standing out his personality. And it damages my psyche even further that Fadel didn't even have to, just him insisting that Kant was suspicious is enough for Bison to get suspicious.

It's not like I think Fadel hates Bison or anything [gosh quite the opposite, isn't it?] but Bison is just part of this dinky life package he's had no choice in receiving. Given that Bison doesn't even know about this first love, Fadel was probably trying to leave alone without Bison [if Bison were even in his life at that point]. Gosh, Fadel just really hates his life and his lack of agency in it and poor Bison is just an unfortunate part of that mess. When Fadel grits his teeth and says he's fine with everything and he's always so clearly lying I just want to be like: and what about Bison, would you keep him if you had a choice?

BUT this ask is about Bison, isn't it? Bison loves Fadel so unironically and with such reverence. I don't have to wonder if Bison would keep Fadel. It's beyond a shadow of doubt for me. And one really has to wonder why exactly has their relationship turned out this way. Ep.4 not only gave me foster brothers confirmation [so ppl can stop acting insane about my url] but it showed that they were fairly old when these incidents happened as in they are fully capable of retaining a rich memory of their previous life at that age. They also seemed to be similar in age, so Fadel's incident seemed to have happened first [but the boy playing Fadel was half hidden so I can't actually tell his age]. They didn't know each other before this life (they didn't recognize each other's parents) so this infinite well of trust that Bison has towards Fadel; Bison truly trusts him as though they share blood - oh I think about it all the time - how did it come to be?

Anyhow, I don't think the show is going to give me any of that. But it has given me the infinite well. From the very first moment, it comes back to Fadel for Bison.

And the choice to tie up his and Fadel's love lives together seemed completely his own. Yes, Fadel has the no dating rule. But he doesn't fucking check, does he? He really doesn't come after Bison or ask after his business until he stops responding to texts. Which honestly seems like a very reasonable precaution in the Very High Probability of Death or Imprisonment profession.

Bison needs Fadel's approval before he can fuck Kant again, god fucking knows why? that's not even a siblings thing??? In fact, I'm pretty sure Bianca was extremely against letting Kat know anything about her love life in 10 things but Kat just knew cause they're in the same school lol. But Bison honest to god doesn't even kiss Kant again until Fadel said it was okay for them to hang out. [everyone talks about bison edging kant nobody talks about fadel edging bi-*gunshot*]

The way Bison immediately grows suspicious when Fadel brings up that Kant had perhaps poisoned him. Even though Bison already knows what being roofied feels like, he trusts Fadel's instincts even above his own (which as the audience knows is the right call)

The scene in their secret room helped me understand better why Bison has this self imposed Fadel chastity belt. In many ways, it's not actually safe to date Kant even if he wasn't a police informant. Bison actually does know this. Bison knows there are risks and his solution for mitigating risk is to push the responsibility of assessing the risk onto Fadel.

So, if Fadel who's always right on time, who always has a solution, a way out says it's okay...then its okay. Then Bison can relax and fall in love. If Fadel isn't on board with Kant then that little Fadel that lives in his head, that made him ghost Kant the first night even if he didn't really want to, would never fucking shut up about it.

He doesn't even trust that Kant is actually pursuing him, even though Kant had literally just said so, until Fadel points out that nobody would eat his burnt burger if they weren't interested in him. Like I'm willing to bet that Fadel wasn't just assigned to be his brother, Fadel was also likely his mentor.

So it's just not surprising to me - other than that the show has actually leaned into it - and clearly i'm obsessing over the fact that Bison is at his horniest for Kant when he's at his responsible older brother best. Not only does the good brother parallel with Fadel immediately up Kant's trustworthiness in his eyes, Kant is also a version of a good older brother that needs Bison; his advice, guidance and protection in a way that Fadel never seems to need at all and definitely not from him.