#bisexual colors too wow i won so hard

[lifemod17]

The first sunset of October

[mrsrcbinscn]

Franny’s 30 Day Cover Challenge

Playlist

Franny’s 30 Day Cover Song Challenge: (categories are mostly from here, and here, with some from here, and a couple I made) in September 2020 one of her musician friends challenged her to do the thing and she was like “It seems like a fun way to show everyone what kind of music has influenced me as a musician, singer, songwriter, and just like, person. So I’m going to do it.”

In reality, she recorded most of them in 1-2 days to distract her from how sad she is because Wilbur hates her and he’s sad lmao

It helped a little.

(If you want me to drop the playlist she mentions in #24 let me know, I have it started I can finish it)

TW: mentions of Franny’s political beliefs so tw: politics, an allusion to suicide though the word isn’t directly used, mention of 9/11 and the subsequent invasions...nothing graphic with any of these triggers but worth a forewarning

Day 01 - A song that makes you happy

Honey Spiders by The Parlotones

“The Parlotones are this fantastic indie rock band out of South Africa. And I actually thought about doing their song, uh, Stars Fall Down for day sixteen, but I’m going with Honey Spiders for day 1. There were lots of Parlotones songs, I mean. Push Me to The Floor, We Call This Dancing, Should We Fight Back...but ah, Honey Spiders always puts me in a good mood.”

Day 02 - A song that helps you clear your head

Light of a Clear Blue Morning by Dolly Parton

“I grew up on Dolly, and it’s funny because for the longest time this song wasn’t really on my radar as much as it is now. But when I was twenty-two I was going through something really difficult, and my then-fiance now husband was abroad for work, so I was alone in our apartment and just. Really, profoundly sad and lonely. So I put on a Dolly Parton record and just laid on the bed and Light Of A Clear Blue Morning played and I had a good long cry and felt so much better after that. When I need to think about how to solve a difficult problem, or I feel overwhelmed, I just listen to that song.”

Day 03 - Song you love from a band/artist you hate

Should’ve Been A Cowboy by Toby Keith

“Honestly, he’s called me a nasty lady to my face and I’ve called him a facist enabling pig to his, so I have no qualms openly saying I hate Toby Keith. That being said, Should’ve Been A Cowboy is one of the best country songs of the 90s, undeniably. I loved that song when it came out when I was thirteen, and I still love it.”

Day 04 - A song about drugs or alcohol

Whiskey Lullaby by Brad Paisley and Alison Krauss

“This is probably cheating, because my lovely best friend Daniel and I cover this a lot at Dara & Danny shows. But today look who I have! My friend Max from Seoul Hanoi’d! Max the Korean Scot who can’t hide his accent to save his life, so let’s see how it sounds in a Scottish accent.”

Day 05 - A protest song

Talking Vietnam Blues by Phil Ochs /// and Here’s to The State of Mississippi by Phil Ochs

“This one was hard because I. Fucking. Love. Protest music. I could have done a whole 30 days of protest music - wow, let me know if I should do that and give my husband a heart attack with all the twitter threats I’ll invite. Huh. Right, so I was going to do Your Flag Decal Won’t Get You Into Heaven by John Prine. But I decided to do two Phil Ochs songs because I don’t think Phil Ochs is talked about enough. It’s a shame we lost him so young. Ochs’ sardonic humor and honesty in his writing has influenced me as a songwriter deeply. When I write political songs, I don’t hold back, and it’s because of Phil Ochs’ writing that I have that courage. I’ve been singing Love Me, I’m A Liberal since I was in college with constantly updating lyrics. It was so hard to even choose which songs of his to do because for his fairly short career his songbook is lengthy and full of gems. I’m Going to Say It Now, Draft Dodger Rag, Spanish Civil War Song, I Ain’t Marching Anymore...I couldn’t pick one so I’m cheating and recording two.”

Day 06 - A song you wish you wrote

When I Think About Cheatin’ by Gretchen Wilson

“I will forever be pissed off that I didn’t write this song. I’m absolute trash for my husband, so it’s never -- I’ve never had to be in a situation to ever consider -- but this song gets me every time. It feels like I could have written it. Because we do spend a lot of time apart travelling for our work. And the sentiment expressed in the song is a little too real.”

Day 07 - A song in a language you don’t speak

Khattar by Khine Htoo

“This will either be a charming attempt to sing in Burmese or I’m about to offend a lot of people. Which, being a politically outspoken woman on the internet, I’m used to anyway. So. 1, 2, 3, okay here goes.”

Day 08 - A song by an artist no longer living

Phop Samnang by Sinn Sisamouth (inspiration)

“Haha, you thought I’d see the name of this category and not do a Sinn Sisamouth song? You were wrong.”

Day 09 - A song you want to dance to at your wedding

Devoted To You by The Everly Brothers

“I’m already married, so this was actually our first dance song at our wedding. Day three of our wedding, like the more Westernized wedding ceremony day. We had a three day long traditional Cambodian wedding and I felt like a princess. An-y-way!”

Day 10 - A song that makes you cry

Borrowed Rooms and Old Wood Floor by Emily Scott Robinson

“Unfortunately, Emily Scott Robinson and I aren’t related. Sad, I know, because she’s so talented. Almost her entire album Traveling Mercies is...sad as hell. The record reminded me of early Dolly Parton, and my second solo album. You know, all those sad-ass songs. The Dress is honestly the song that makes me the saddest but I can’t even listen to it without crying so.”

Day 11 - A song that you love hearing live

Prove My Love  by Violent Femmes

“There is nobody I have seen in concert more than Dolly Parton, but Violent Femmes and George Strait come incredibly close. The Cranberries, the amount of times I saw them in the 90s and early 2000s...close fourth. Probably. The very first concert I dragged my husband to was a Violent Femmes concert, he was not prepared for how hard college me went.”

Day 12 - A song from before 1960 

There Ain’t No Sweet Man That’s Worth The Salt of My Tears by Libby Holman

“This song is from 1928. I came across it when I was in grad school and it’s, as the kids say, a bop.”

Day 13 - A song you think everybody should listen to

White Man’s World by Jason Isbell

“I think perspectives of people of color should of course take precedence in these conversations. But I find this song to be a good faith attempt of a white man coming to terms with the institutional racism and sexism in the world around him. And I think this song can be a useful tool to explain certain concepts of racial justice to ignorant but well-meaning folks. As a woman of color I think Jason Isbell did a great job not centering himself even though it was from his perspective. This song is great musically and necessary socially.”

Day 14 - A song from the 1970s

You’re No Good by Linda Ronstadt

“Linda Ronstadt is grossly underrated, that’s all I have to say here.”

 Day 15 - A song people wouldn’t expect you to like

Racists by Anti-flag

“I mean, I’ve talked about how much I like punk in the past, and I remember a video of Seoul Hanoi’d doing Spanish Bombs at a San Antonio show made the rounds, but I don’t think I’ve talked about how much I like Anti-flag. People don’t expect me to like punk for some reason. But I agree with...everything punk music is all about.”

Day 16 - A song that holds a lot of meaning to you

Blue by LeAnn Rimes

“It’s silly, but I won a county fair singing competition with this song in high school and it really fueled my passion for music, that win. It’s also the first song Cornelius heard me go full Georgia on, with the yodels and all, at the little bar in my hometown on his first trip meeting my parents. The song doesn’t cut to my very soul ot anythin’, but it’s special to me.”

Day 17 - A song attached to a memory

Supernova by Liz Phair

“I remember buying Liz Phair’s Whip-smart album when I was eleven. And in college, when I was getting ready for dates with Cornelius in my dorm room, I would dance around to a CD I burned and wrote on it with a sharpie, ‘Pre-date Movie Scene Music.’ God, what was even on there? I’m about to expose myself as the most basic 1999-2001 bitch. I remember Head Over Feet, I mean, Alanis Morisette? I was a young woman in 2000, obviously I loved her. Mm, Dreams by The Cranberries...oh, Kiss Me, Sixpence None The Richer...yeah, anyway, Supernova was on there.”

Day 18 - A song from the year you were born

Call Me by Blondie

“...I can’t believe Call Me is as old as I am.”

Day 19 - A song that reminds you of someone you miss

Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing (yes, of course she does a cover with banjo)

“This was my late best friend Molly’s favorite hymn. And I sang it at her funeral at her husband’s request. Molly and I grew up together in the small town of Payne Lake, Georgia and Molly was the most devout Christian...but she was also the first person I came out to as bisexual when I was a teenager, and she said that Jesus taught her that love was the greatest commandment and that meant I was automatically twice as good at it as her. Her faith guided her every action but she never talked down on her two best friends - Dan(iel Maitland) and I for not sharing it. Molly was doing the whole emulate Jesus thing beautifully. I miss her every day and it’s been seven years. If you ever think that people won’t miss you...you’re wrong. All right, let’s see if I can get through this without crying.”

Day 20 - A song by an artist you discovered this year

Hello, Anxiety by Phum Viphurit

“I just discovered this quirky Thai-Kiwi singer and not to be dramatic, but he’s my favorite thing in the world right now.”

Day 21 - A song with a city or country in the title

Oh! Phnom Penh (track 20)

“This song was written after the fall of the Khmer Rouge, and after people began to make their way to what was left of their homes, alone, or with what was left of their families. If you want to learn more about what that was like to actually live it, my cousin Reena Boran has a video interviewing her parents and paternal grandfather and uncle about it. Reena is a journalism student currently studying in London but she lives in Cambodia. Her mother is my aunt Malisruot, my mother’s youngest sister. The video is English subtitled on her channel, I’ll link it in the description box below.”

Day 22 - A song from the 1960s

To Sir, With Love by Lulu

“I didn’t actually discover this song until I heard it covered at a 10,000 Maniacs concert in the 90s. My friend Allison was standing next to me and I just started crying and she’s like ‘are you okay?’ and all I just blubbered out ‘My dad!’ For the uninitiated, my dad married my mom, who’d raised me alone until then, when I was six and he adopted me when I was eight. My dad didn’t have to adopt me, he didn’t have to call me his daughter, he could have just been like half of my friends’ stepdads and give me a place to live and nothing else. But my dad was my biggest supporter from day one. He convinced my mom to let me join the dance team and show choir instead of science club, he was the one that talked my mom down from probably killing me when they found out I was only studying music and not music and political science at NYU. I am who I am today because he is my dad. And this song just says everything I’ve always thought about him.”

Day 23 - A song from your childhood

Una Lacrima Sul Viso by Bobby Solo

“But Franny, aren’t you a Cambodian raised in the US? Yes, but you were fooled. My very white father is also an immigrant. He is from Switzerland and while he didn’t teach me to speak Italian and German growing up, he played German, Italian, and French records all the time. My parents often spoke to each other in French and I picked up some French but properly studied it starting in high school, and I didn’t study Italian until college -- and my German is still …. [points to a spot on the screen where she later inserted a card linking to a video on her cousin Köbi Framagucci’s YouTube channel titled ‘Can My American Cousin Speak German?’ where he tests her Standard and Swiss German speaking and comprehension]. But hell if I couldn’t sing every one of the songs from my father’s French, German, and Italian record before I knew what the words even meant.”

Day 24 - A song that gives you chill vibes

Glorify by Ivan & Alyosha

“Dan(iel Maitland) and I actually have an entire playlist on my Spotify accounts of songs to listen to to get us out of writers’ block. And one that I often will put on repeat and just absorb through my headphones with my eyes closed is a song called Glorify by Ivan & Alyosha. I think it touches on a lot of the themes I include in my songwriting. Christian mythology, the darker side of humanity, it often reminds me of what I love about songwriting. If you say please I might drop a link to that playlist.”

Day 25 - A song that’s your signature song

Long Gone Lonesome Blues by Hank Williams“Right, so I chose this instead of a Kitty Wells song or I Get A Kick Out of You (her being

featured on a 2005

recording propelled her career majorly) because if you’re familiar with me you might have seen a video that went around in like….2017? 2016? of Dan(iel Maitland) and I doin’ the song at our hometown bar in 2014. I posted it in response to some tweets because hoes mad when a WOC calls out racism and sexism in the Nashville music industry. ‘Bet she don’t even know Hank’, really? You think I wouldn’t know the history of one of the two music industries I work in? Please. Anyway, she knows Hank and nails the incredibly technical yodel -- the

most difficult

one in Hank’s songbook - in Long Gone Lonesome Blues. Mm...Lovesick Blues though, that also strikes fear into my heart. Anyway stay mad I guess?”

Day 26 - A song by your favorite band

Gun Shy by 10,000 Maniacs

“10,000 Maniacs was one of my favorite bands when I was in like 5th grade through 10th. I listened to them for a little while after Natalie Merchant left for a solo career, but the Natalie Merchant era was really what resonated with me the most. Gun Shy was a bit too advanced for my little 5th, 7th grade ears to really appreciate when I first discovered the album In My Tribe. Merchant’s voice -- because like, I don’t have a very conventional voice either, so her and Dolores O’Riordan really changed my entire perspective on what a woman’s voice can sound like in rock music. Um, yeah, so her voice more than the lyrics just wowed me. And as I got closer to graduating high school and especially in college I actually understood what What’s The Matter Here, Hey Jack Kerouac, and Gun Shy were talking about. Gun Shy...really became a significant song to me because...being born in 1980 I grew up in a relatively peaceful time. The Cold War was all but thawed by my tenth birthday. But I was getting ready to leave my then-boyfriend-now-husband’s apartment for class at NYU on the morning of 9/11. We stood in line for hours to donate blood. And then my government invaded two completely unrelated countries and jingoism and terrifying, fervent nationalism, and xenophobia just smacked me in the face. And friends of mine from high school were convicted to drop out of college and join the Army, and died, for an unjust, imperialist war, and suddenly Phil Ochs, John Prine, and Bob Dylan lyrics hit a lot different, and I understood what Gun Shy was really about.”

Day 27 - A song you hate by an artist you love

Mrs.Robinson by Simon & Garfunkel 

“Paul Simon is one of my favorite songwriters ever, um, and I actually used to like Mrs. Robinson….until I got married and everyone sang it at me. It’s kind of my fault, I did choose to take my husband’s last name. And I leaned into it by making my social media handles all Mrs. Robinson...but still. Only play the song around me if you want to die.”

Day 28 - A song that a younger you would have loved

Mean by Taylor Swift

“I’m so genuinely glad that I am older than Taylor Swift. Middle school Franny did not need Taylor Swift to enable me and fuel my ego. Some of her singles, while not really 35 and 40 year old Franny’s cup of tea, young me would have played until my mother hid the record or cassette from me. Although - fuck if Tim McGraw didn’t immediately give my happily married ass flashbacks to my first love and make me bawl like a baby? Right, so when Speak Now came out and I listened to it, Mean, while not a song that adult me has listened to maybe more like ten times, I immediately thought ‘wow, I needed this song when I was in middle and high school.’ I could literally picture 7th grade me with my little guitar and my little cowboy boots my dad bought for me singing this at the talent show making eye contact with the kids who bullied me as if it was some kind of own when it’s not. I could still, almost thirty years later, name them if I really wanted. So, for 7th grade me, Mean by Taylor Swift.”

Day  29- A song that reminds you of your partner/spouse

ផាត់ជាយបណ្តូលចិត្ / Phat Cheay Bon'dol Chet by Sinn Sisamuth (translation) (female singer covering it) (modern, studio recording of a male and female singer dueting it) (a cool violin cover) (another female singer) (cool guitar cover)

Feat. some members of Seoul Hanoi’d. Andy Chaiyaporn (violin), Max Cho (piano), Jodie Batbayar (cello), Aisulu Niyazova-Li (percussion) and Franny has her guitar

“The song, lyrically, only reminds me of my husband a little bit. But Phat Cheay Bondol Chet has several memories with my husband attached to it. The first time he heard me sing in Khmer was at my mother’s house in Atlanta when I had him visit the first time to meet my parents. My mom had a little dinner party at our house to show him off, like Asian moms do when they think their daughter snags a good one, and I was hand washing the dishes while my mom and the other Cambodian parents were listening to Sinn Sisamuth records. I’ve always loved the song I’ll be showing y’all today, like I’ve always just stopped what I was doing and -- so it came on and I just started singing along without really being aware of it. And then at a different diaspora get together that summer, that song came on and I just kinda. Pulled him aside to the side yard of that person’s house to look at the stars with him and translated the song. It’s one of the Khmer songs he instantly recognizes now, so it’s special.”

Franny did NOT say in the video that college her 100% had him sit in the grass with her outside that person’s house, where nobody could see, so she could makeout with him 

 Day 30- A song by one of your favorite songwriters

Reincarnation by Roger Miller

Feat. Seoul Hanoi’d, done more in the style of the Cake cover 

Also instead of singing the lyric “you’re a girl, I’m a boy” she goes “you’re a girl, so am I” because she doesn’t ever change pronouns, she just makes it gay because she is a bi-con

“Roger Miller, to me, is as important as Dolly Parton, Paul Simon, Bob Dylan, in the American songbook. He’s not as talked about which is a shame because his discography is iconic. Getting to be a part of King of The Road was one of the highlights of my career.”

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #206

“have you ever wished for death and prayed all night for your last breath?”

Do you always read the book before you see a movie based on a book? No. When you’re out with friends, do they ever encourage you to spend money you should be saving? 1.) I don't hang out w/ anyone now, 2.) but even when I did, they all knew I didn't make money. Is there anything you’re trying to save up money for? What? Perpetually tattoos, I want a PS4 super badly to play a novel of games I've been dying to play (SotC and Spyro trilogy remaster, I'm @ing you so hard), I need a car soon as I plan to at least try and get my license in the near future, I'd love to always have enough to immediately go to Sara's in case of an emergency, a trip to South Africa... but those are gonna take a good while to complete. I have my priorities straight for when I get a job. Have you ever watched a movie you didn’t really want to see just because a friend asked you to? Yeah. Did you end up liking the movie, anyway? There's been many cases of the above situation, so I'm sure in some instances I have. Heard any great songs for the first time lately? What songs? Hmmm, quite a number. "Radio" by Rammstein is great, and I love "bury a friend" and "bad guy" by Billie Eilish. What is your favorite urban legend? m o t h m a n and the joysey devil. Probably top two. GAH I love so many though????????????? Like Skinwalkers?????????????? And WENDIGOS????????? Have you seen all the cool shit?????????????? Do you remember the last nightmare you had? What was it? No, thankfully. Have you ever hopped on any bandwagons? HAHA. Freshman year, high school... I "liked" screamo or alternative-type bands I'd barely ever listened to or even enjoyed to fit in with the emos aldkjfalkwejr. Are you an elitist (even a little bit) when it comes to anything? What? Definitely not a complete one, but I can get pretty annoyed if in WoW we're in a heroic dungeon and people don't know the mechanics you should have already learned + read new ones that're right there in the goddamn journal laksdjfaoweir and then some people just totally ignore your advice and alskdjfwleiruwqoeif x2. Then again I've been that confused asshole in a couple raiding situations BUT LOOK they're harder and I had too much to catch up on okay. Still no excuse by WHATEVER. Have elitists on a fansite ever intimidated or talked down to you? I don't believe so. Is there anything you swear you will never do again? A few things with certainty. How late do you usually stay awake? I can literally go to bed as early as 7 to as late as 11 or rarely later. I do NOT have a schedule. Started months ago, and at first it frustrated and stressed me out quite a bit, but by now, I've just accepted it for me. Do you have pets? If so, how did you choose their names? Teddy: sister named him, but I'm sure it was the "cute as a teddy bear" type thing; Bentley: no clue; Roman: it sounded majestic, cats are majestic; Venus: pretty, and her coloration is similar to the planet; Kaiju: totally badass for an iguana that's gonna grow to be a big 'ole scaly boy; and Mitsu: I had a theme of giving my rats cutesy "M" names. Do you ever buy special treats for your pets? Occasionally. Is just being fond of something enough, or does it take more than that to be a ‘real fan’? Did a middle school student write this? If you're pretty fond of something, there you go, you're a fan. Sure, some are more intense, but that doesn't make the more casual ones not "real." What type of fabric is most comfortable for clothing? Idk, I don't pay attention. If you wear one – bras with or without a wire? Christ, without. If you wear one – are you able to find cute bras in your size? HA. No. It is RARE I'll find a cute one, and that's always only online. Make pretty ones for plus-sized women a normal find, jfc. Idk why, but I am very picky with bras. Like good fucking luck seeing me without a shirt, so like,,,, why do I bother????? What length do you like your shorts to be? UM you will NOT see me in SHORTS. Have you ever cut off jeans or other pants and made them into shorts? Perhaps Mom has when I was a kid? But I have no memory of this ever happening. Have you cut the sleeves out of T-shirts to make tank tops? I don't think so. Have you ever modified a piece of clothing and hated how it turned out? ^ What was the last disappointing movie you saw? Ah jeez, what's the last time I even watched one. Idk. What was the last disappointing book you read? And I haven't read a book in even longer. Is there anything you’re really excited about? JOB. OPPORTUNITIES. Do you ever watch compilation videos? Of what? Vines, like shit dude. I can go on massive binges. What was the last thing you rolled your eyes about? I don't recall. What would you consider the greatest song ever recorded? Why? Yeesh, that's a big thing to decide. I recently discovered "A Reason to Fight" by Disturbed though, and it is. Incredible. Just read the lyrics to refresh my mind, and yeah, goosebumps. Do you like Hellboy? If so, do you prefer the old movies or the new one? Never seen any. Favorite Disney character who isn’t royalty? Dory, probably. But man, there's too many to choose from. Last thing you purchased just for fun? *shrugs* Do you even like behind-the-scenes stuff or does it ruin the magic for you? IF I'm real into the product, I love that stuff!! I've seen like every little BTS Silent Hill thing there is, probably, multiple hours' worth. What is your favorite thing about Mac computers? They're small and lightweight. What is your favorite thing about PCs? They generally hold much more memory. What are some errands you need to run soon? I don't have "errands" yet. Have your parents ever tried to convince people there was something wrong with you, when their “diagnosis” wasn’t accurate? No. List 3 of your best memories, times you wish you could go back and repeat. In no order, just as they come to me: 1.) First hug with Sara when we met at the airport; 2.) THE LOOK ON SARA'S FACE when she saw me in her room on her birthday (probably fave memory of all time, actually); 3.) seeing meerkats for the first time at the zoo. Ohhhh or maybe the true realization I was happy without Jason. But idk, that was SUCH a gradual process where I didn't feel ecstasy in like one moment. What color was your high school graduation gown? Ew, it was this obnoxious red. The majority apparently voted for it, while I was on the navy team. Are your parents’ dreams for your life different than your own? Mom's pretty dead-set on me being a vet, but she doesn't try to push me into it or anything. I know she just wants happiness for me. I haven't got a clue about Dad. Have your dreams for your life changed? Of course. What are your dreams now? HAPPY, stable job that I thoroughly enjoy, well-off financially (I don't aim to be rich, just "safe," you could say), healthy marriage, own my own home, travel to a few places, did y'all think I was gonna forget "meet Mark???"... stuff like that. What was your dream as a child? It changed plenty of times, but my earliest goal was to be a paleontologist. Do you feel safe in your country? Sure, I guess. Safer than most places. If applicable, do you feel safe at your school? N/A Would you ever want to learn sign language? It'd be cool, sure, but it's not something I'm interested in pursuing. How many meals do you eat a day? 2-3. Sometimes just one "real" meal. Do you own any succulents? No. What color are your walls? A hideous puke green. Why. What color were the walls in the bedroom you grew up in? I don't remember at all. What was the last song you listened to on repeat? "Love Falls" by HELLYEAH. What is your favorite style (or styles) of dance? Modern. Have you ever performed a solo dance in front of a crowd? No. Have you ever sung a solo? No. Which insects are you afraid of? Most, really. Do you think it’s silly to be afraid of an insect, when it’s so tiny? It depends on the insect, of course. Even if I do know what it is and it's "safe," I'll still typically freak if it surprises me. When was the last time you had a deep conversation with someone? Hmmm. Sara, I believe? What are you waiting for? Jesus FUCKING Christ on a bike a job. What do you usually feel like doing the most at home? Stuff on the laptop. What grade were you in when you had your first crush? I don't remember... For "puppy dog love," I believe maybe the 4th grade, but I may be wrong. I'd say my first *real* crush was on a guy named Sebastian in my freshman year of high school. Shit man, did a lot go down my freshman year. I'm just reminiscing and crushes jumped between like five dudes 'til Jason won. At what age did you start experiencing sexual attraction, if any? Some time in middle school, I think? Like that's when I had my first bisexuality crisis: 6th or 7th grade. Have you ever split open a rock with a hammer, to see the glitter inside? No, but FUCK I WANNA. What type of tree do you see the most of where you live? There's a pine tree outside my window. Oh, and there's a pine tree in my back yard. Oh, what's that across the road? Woods of pine trees. Where do all birds in NC live? In pine trees. What does our air smell like? Pine trees. Where is your favorite place you’ve lived? My previous home as far as location; house itself, where I am now. It's got its issues, but it's cozy and a perfect size for just two people. What states have you lived in? Just 'ole North Carolina. Take me awaaaaaaaaaaaay- Do you wish you were someone else? Sometimes. What is your favorite thing about the month in which it is now? Literally just flowers. That's it. It. Everything else can suck a legion of dicks. Who were your best friends in high school? Hannia, Girt, Jason (if he counts), Alon, Maria... I had a few "best" ones. ^Are they still your best friends now? Girt is my closest thing to a "best friend" if you don't include my girlfriend. Do you live near the mountains? No, they're on the opposite end of the state. ;___; Do you live near a beach? We're like, two-ish hours away. What is your favorite beach that you’ve been to? Idk and idc, beaches aren't my thing. Do you collect seashells? Not seriously, but I'll keep a cool one if I find one. If you were to start a new collection, what would it be? If I was not ashamed of looking like a 23-y/o pre-teen in love with Just Bieber, I'd have more Markiplier merch than you'd fucking believe. (One of my biggest regrets in life was not buying the tasteful nudes calendar; I will eternally smite myself for being too embarrassed to have to explain why I would have that hanging above my bed rip.) If you had to pick one year and describe it as the best year of your life that you want to relive again, which year would it be? 2017 was fuckin litty titty. Is your world view the same as your parents’? In some ways with Mom, and I do know Dad and I differ on a few things. Well, if I learned more about his more political beliefs, I feel I'd probably disagree with most. What color are your glasses, if applicable? Black. Are you the person you thought you’d be when you were younger? No. Are you a confrontational person, or the peacekeeper? I'm a massive peacekeeper. I avoid confrontation like the PLAGUE. Do you like to read? Not nearly as much as I used to. Like all I ever read nowadays are RP posts as I obviously have to reply to them, but if they're long, it is common I procrastinate on reading it... ;_; Do you sleep too much or not enough? Probably too much, especially when I go to bed early. Although, I do wake up throughout the night and sometimes officially pretty early. Then some days I have a 1-2 hour nap, so that just adds to it. Who is your best friend? Sara. <3 How did you two meet? YouTube. How did you meet your current bf/gf? ^ How far away is your closest family member? Well I live with my mom, but she's at work atm. The last time you did something with BOTH of your parents was? BOY OH FUCKING BOY. My mom's the most bitter witch towards him, so even for family events, Dad usually only stops by to avoid creating a goddamn wreck, such as at birthday dinners. I think the last time they were in the same house was for my nephew's birthday half a year ago, I believe. What’s your favorite holiday? Halloween!!! Now that I have a niece and nephew who grasp the concept of Santa, Christmas is also really special to me. I don't want kids, but watching those sweethearts get so excited over their presents is magical. For me personally, the holiday has grown more and more about celebrating family, especially as we continue to branch out/go our own ways. So I guess I like the idea of Halloween better and would enjoy it more if I actually had something to do, but as far as joy goes, Christmas. Do you like pumpkin pie? I hate anything and everything pumpkin-flavored. The last time you went to the doctor, what were you there for? It was the see my psychiatrist. Do you take any medication regularly? Yeah. Is there any particular view you have on insane people? I see "insane" versus "sane" as far more of a gradient shift instead of a direct split; there're levels. I actually do legitimately think I at some juncture in the aftermath of the breakup qualified as slightly insane, yet I wasn't dangerous or entirely out of touch with reality. So if you tell me someone's actually insane, I'm going to fear them being the explosive, entirely unpredictable and loopy kind, but I know the person may be calm and somewhat stable on the outside, too. You gotta consider the severity. Do you believe in any conspiracies? 9/11 was orchestrated by the government and you cannot change my mind. I'm not totally sold on this one and lean more towards "nah" (I think), but the "we live in a simulation by a future civilization" is not that far-fetched at all if you actually look into it. It's very interesting, whether or not you're sold on it. Hell, Neil deGrasse Tyson firmly believes in it. Out of your friends, who is the funniest? Girt makes me laugh at the snap of his fingers, it seems. Anything you need to get rid of? I'm sure somewhere... Do you have any wasted talents? Animal knowledge and compassion, probably... I know I could make a fantastic rehabilitator for animals, among a plethora of other animal-related preservation and protection actions I could actively engage in. Well, I'm going back to school for zoology, but even now, I want to do more. There is a wildlife rehab place I may be able to volunteer at soon, tho! Mom's talking to a guy at work about me helping there. DAMN, livin a dream. Do you let the little things get to you? The issue could be as small as a single cell and it could still bother me. How often do you cry? Maybe once in a week, possibly longer. I don't know if you mean like really cry or just tear up/lightly cry. The latter is pretty common, but the other, not so much. Even if I want to cry, my jaw just entirely locks the hell up and I physically can't get it out. Is there anything you’re trying to prevent? I mean besides the common sense things everyone takes action to avoid, hm. I feel like there's so much, yet nothing is coming to me? Well, actually, it's usually a daily struggle to prevent at least one OCD cycle. When was the last time you were told you were cute? *shrug* When was the last time you were truly, completely happy with your life? It's been quite a while... At least over a year ago, when I began to get antsy with wanting a job and later going back to school. It just all started when I realized I was healed from the breakup and ready to move forward in life, but I wasn't. Do you miss the way things used to be between you and someone else? Multiple people. What colors has your hair been? Dirty blonde, brown, red, and purple. I've had red and purple highlights, and I naturally have blondish ones, too. I'm ready to dye it again, jfc. Most attempts are failures because my hair does NOT take color well whatsoever. It's only ever worked perfectly with the brand Splat, and my hair soaked in the dye for a LONG time before washing it out. Have you ever gotten burnt by a cigarette? No. Do you and your parents like any of the same bands/singers? We share interest in plenty of the same bands, Mom especially. Is there any food in your bedroom? What? No. Do you know anyone who has road rage? Who? MY LITTLE SISTER. Haven't seen the woman in three years, but I can promise you Jason's mom still has it to a legendary degree. How expensive is too expensive for a pair of shoes? I haven't looked for shoes in so long that I don't even know the average price. What kinds of cereal are in the cupboard? Honey Nut Cheerios, normal Cheerios I think, and we have a little bit of the chocolate chunk Special K cereal left over. It's got to be stale by now (it's not even closed fully); I need to remember to toss it. What’s the last thing you spent over $10 on? Ummm I'm not sure. Over $30? I think my tongue piercing was $40? Maybe even lower? Or slightly higher?? I don't remember. Do you know who lives three houses down from you? I think so. The one time I was locked out of my house in the snow with Teddy and I waited like a fucking hour until I broke down, absolutely freezing (I was in my pajamas, dude), and walked down the road to try and get help (I needed to call my mom, obviously, and I didn't have my phone), I believe it was the third neighbor who answered. Turned out being a retired deputy who was super intimidating yet kind at the same time; he let Teddy and me stay in his house (mind you, Teddy is incontinent and didn't have his diaper on, which I warned him about) while Mom was on her way home. He gave me a jacket and some water, even when I said I was fine, but you could tell he wasn't totally sure about trusting this random, sobbing girl at his door because he asked me a thousand questions about my story and quizzed if I really did live in this area. Obviously a good cop, but after a day like that, I was just terrified of an old man who appeared a bit gruff. But thankfully Mom got there to save the day and I am forever grateful for that guy. WOW what a story for a simple question. Is there a bulletin board in your room? No. Is your mom a big health freak or your dad? Or neither? "Health freak" seems a bit extreme for both of them, but Mom is more concerned about health in general. Do you know anyone who wants to be the president one day? No. What kinds of chips are in the cupboards? We just have tortilla chips, I think. I try to keep snacks out of the house to avoid temptation, and who eats plain tortilla chips. Do you have your mom's or dad's hair? Mom's. What’s the first thing you see when you walk into your bedroom? Most would probably notice my Nightmare Before Christmas poster first, being as big as it is and on the wall opposite the entrance. Do you prefer the truth, even if it’s harsh? YES. I NEED to know this kinda stuff, even if the truth is really hard to hear. Do you have any friends who have naturally red hair? I don't think so. Have you ever cried when a teacher retired? I think I did when my very first band teacher did. EVERYONE loved him. Like, the entire school. Does your kitchen look like it was designed in a completely different decade? No? When’s the last time you wore heels? Great question. Probably not since my sister's wedding in '16. Do you have your mom’s or dad’s eyes? My grampa's on Mom's side. What’s the best date movie? Probably a rom com? Have your parents ever been out of the country? No. How many pairs of jeans, all together, are in your house? Zero. Do you swear and yell while playing video games? I'll swear under my breath or seethe in frustration, but I never yell. Is there any alcohol in the fridge? No. Has a best friend ever ditched you for a girlfriend/boyfriend? Pretty much. Whenever she starts dating a guy, she dips, and whenever/if ever we talk, she rambles absolutely endlessly about him. Do you know anyone who has grossly skinny eyebrows? I couldn't possibly care less about how your eyebrows look. Do your pets chase after bugs? Roman and Bentley sure do. Bentley is a Professional Fly Moncher, specifically. When’s the last time you were so excited you couldn’t sleep? Why? Uhhh good question. Probs the night before Sara got here for my b-day. What is your mom’s favorite movie? Hm, good question! I'd ask her, but I don't want her to ask me why I am lmao. What TV family reminds you of your own family? Probably none. Did you ever really believe that the stork brought babies? No. I don't remember what I thought, but I know it wasn't that. Do you have any relatives who really spoil you? No, I think? Well Dad gives my sisters and me way too much money for Christmas and always tells us to ask him if we need anything, but I pretty much never ask him for said things, so I don't know the extent he'd go. Are there any drawers in your house that are just filled with junk? Pretty much. Is the last person you spoke to in love? That's my mom, so I doubt that with all I know. Do you know anyone who has security cameras in their house? I don't believe so. What was the last movie to make you cry? I think the last was Coco. Moana may have made me tear up, but I can't remember... Has anyone you know ever pulled the fire alarm in school, joking around? Not to my memory. What time do you usually go to sleep at sleepovers, if ever? I haven't been to a sleepover in God knows how long. Who was the main character in the last book you read? Alice Liddell. Who are the last people you saw kiss? Via YouTube, Jeffree and his boyfriend. Irl, I don't know. Have you ever posted a fan fiction on a website? No. Do you ever fantasize about your future wedding? Who’s the bride/groom? Not very much. Like I've had brief daydreams about it, sure, but it's not something that's on my mind a lot. Still got a long time before that happens. What was the last unpleasant thing to wake you up? My cat not knowing how to keep his mouth shut. Would you rather look at clouds or stars? Stars. Well, it depends; stars if we're in a completely isolated area where you can see them crystal clear or the clouds are boring, but otherwise, clouds if their design and colors are cool. Do you have any relatives who are expecting a baby really soon? No. Do you ever wonder what the opposite sex do at sleepovers? No. When you get married, who will be the maid of honor/best man? My mom, no questions asked. When’s the last time you broke plans? Why? I wasn't feeling well. I was supposed to see my VR coach that day. Have you ever been in a wedding? What were you? Yes, my sister's. I was a bridesmaid. It was an absolutely awful experience because I was hot as fuck, it was triggering as HELL with me still grieving Jason, and I felt positively hideous in a dress when I was at such a horrible weight. I wish so dearly I could redo that day; I fell like I put a serious damper on my sister's big day. Would you feel safer with an alarm system or security cameras? Hm, depends on the scenario... I guess an alarm system? Like security cameras will show a murderer climbing through my window, but they're not gonna wake me up to save my ass. Does it matter to you what kind of shampoo you use? So long it smells nice, isn't watery, and doesn't only add oil to my hair, I don't care much. Has a stray dog ever tried to bite you? No. When riding a bus, do you prefer to sit in front, in the back, or in the middle? Hm... idk. When I took the bus home with Jason, we always sat in the back, and that's really the only time I took a bus regularly. I think otherwise, I'd prefer the middle, closer to the front? I think I usually did that on occasions like band competitions and such. Have you ever been on a cross-country train ride? No. Are you normally a person to tell people off? No, that's rare. Is there any TV show that ended that you wish hadn’t? Meerkat Manor. Though I would hope they'd lessen down on the false story-telling. Stick to the true KMP events. When you feel stressed, do you take things out on the wrong people? Sometimes. Do you even wear any jeans other than skinny anymore? I don't wear jeans period. What did you talk about at lunch today with your friends? N/A Are you sensitive to caffeine? Definitely not. My system's too used to it, probably. How do you usually get around? Mom drives me. I'm 23. :^) Which languages do you wish you could speak fluently in? German. Have you ever been accused of being too clingy? SURPRISINGLY no, at least to my memory. Do you like Vitamin Water? Never tried, don't want to. What was the last thing you took a picture of? Dad and me on his birthday. Do you know anyone that uses Sprint as their phone carrier? Idk. Well, I think. When you go to McDonalds, what drink do you usually get? Coke. Do you have a Kindle or iPad or neither? Neither. Would you rather read or write? Write. When was the last time someone took a picture of you? Sometime during Bobby's visit literally days ago. I already forgot who took it... and who else was in it lmao. Do you own a pair of slippers? Yeah, two. A meerkat pair and then a far less extra pair that're closer to socks. I think they have cats on them? I got them for Christmas I think and haven't worn or seen them much. Would you rather see Taylor Swift or Carrie Underwood in concert? Not a fan of either, but Carrie Underwood is more tolerable and even has a couple songs I enjoy. Name something negative that you hate about yourself: I'll jump to a conclusion within .02 seconds of something negative happening. Or not even "negative" or something that's purely in my head. Is your house currently hot, cold or just right? The house itself is fine, and my room is just right because I have my fan on. Is there a Dead End road near where you live? I can't think of one off the top of my head, but it's likely, really. There's lots of those here. Growing up, did you see your cousins often? No. We live many states away on both parents' sides. Where was your first job at? GameStop. Who are you tired of seeing in the news a lot? (Celebrities) It's been like two days and I'm over seeing the James Charles/Tati drama everywhere. You can't be interested in the YouTube community without being drowned in that shit right now somehow someway on any YT-coverage page and YouTube itself. Have you ever had to call and complain about a product you bought? I personally haven't. Would you date someone who’s shorter than you? I very openly and severely judge you if fucking height means that much to you. Do you mind being the third wheel? Not really, no. I'd only feel uncomfortable if they were getting pretty intimate. Has a kiss ever made you weak in the knees? Um I didn't know that was actually a thing so no. Do you feel comfortable buying condoms? Never been in that position. Have you ever dated two people at once? No. Have you ever been tested for STDs? No. Well wait, that time I gave blood I probably was just out of safety protocol. Have you ever run into your ex with his/her new sweetie? No. Have you ever felt guilty after doing something sexual? When I was in that "wait does this break the abstinence rule" phase, yeah. God was I technical. Have you ever had a condom break during sex? N/A Do your parents know if you’re having sex? Well considering I'm with a girl and she lives states away, that answer's obvious. Do you eat chips or crackers more? Chips. Would you rather be a singer or a dancer? A dancer. Would you rather be a musician or a painter? A painter, maybe? If I could play the electric guitar, though... idk. What social media sites do you visit the most? Facebook. What did you hair look like in high school? Long, thick as fuck, brown (or dyed black) with some sort of highlight, and it was split to the left with the hair swooped over my right eye. Basically "I want the emo swoop but my hair is too fucking thick to obey hairspray." :^) Which dollar store do you shop at? Depends on what's closest, usually. We rarely ever stop at one unless it's for candy to bring into the movie theater, seriously lol. I think usually Dollar General? Do you prefer candy corn or conversation hearts? WE DON'T KNOW EITHER. Skeletons or scarecrows? s k e l l y b o y s Has anyone ever given you the silent treatment? Yep. What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever had in your mouth? I learned on that day I hate giving blowjobs. Has anyone ever threatened you with a knife? No, thankfully. (If you’re a girl) Has anyone ever called you ‘shortie’ instead of girl? BOY I would fucking cackle. I hate that word. No. Do you ever watch The Simpsons? No. Have you ever sent an embarrassing moment of yours into a mag to be printed? OH MY GOD I remember that!!! But no. What IS your most embarrassing moment? Too lazy to go through the novel of 'em to pick the worst. Do you think you’re more cute or sexy? You assume I find myself either. Do you own any mini skirts? I don't own any skirts period. Do you draw little hearts and stuff with eyeliner next to your eyes? No. What’s the most expensive thing you’ve ever lost? Idk. Has your mom ever lied to you? I'm sure she has before. Do you have a deep voice? For a girl, yeah. When’s the last time someone made breakfast for you? *shrugs* Exclusively for me, probably never. Do you do something new with your hair practically every day? No, it's the same everyday. When someone knocks on the door, who do you think it is? Delivery guy. Has anyone ever licked your foot? Ew no. Do you play games with boys/girls, like ‘hard to get’? I'm not 15. Has a guy ever quoted a romantic Shakespeare line to you? No, and I'm glad, as I'd cringe into another realm. Is there a Sonic where you live? Yes, I LIVE- Do you smile with your teeth? Usually. I look less high, at least. What did you eat for lunch today? A pb&j. What do you like on your pizza? Pepperoni, jalapenos, or meat lovers. What is in the back seat of your car right now? I don't own a personal car. Mom has a a load of stuff in the back of hers, at least I think... That's super rare, but she's been so ungodly busy idk if she's had time to clean it out. I haven't paid attention so can't recall. What was the last thing you threw up? Idr. Menthol or regular cigarettes? I don't smoke and never have, so idk. What is your favorite episode of Friends? I don't watch it, and I haven't seen many episodes at all if for whatever reason I was in a room and it was on. Does anyone have any blackmail on you? No. Have you been to a strip club? No. What’s the last sporting event you watched? Hell if I remember. It had to either be my 16th birthday when Jason's family was all together watching the Super Bowl, or a hockey game with my dad. Last person’s house you were in? Besides my own, my sister's. Who is the last person you sent a message to on Facebook? Nicole. Ever go to camp? No. Were you an honor roll student in school? Yeah. Do you have a tan? HA no. How old do you want to be when you have kids? I don't want kids. Are you someone’s best friend? Yeah. Favorite gemstone? Dragon's breath opal. Do you go in at a fast food place or just hit the drive thru? Drive thru, almost always. Does your first memory involve your dad? No. When was the last time you went swimming? Last summer at the beach. Holy fuck the water was so perfect. Has your luggage ever gotten lost? No. Have you ever thought it would be cool to smash a guitar? No. Like... just why. Do you ever get flu shots? No.

[preservationandruin]

Oathbringer Liveblog: Part Two. Chapters 33-37

Sorry for the delay, gang! Life has been busy and I haven’t had time to keep up my reading and liveblogging at the same pace. But! I should be able to get at least some out now. 

Shallan gets a lecture, Dalinar has a conversation, Kaladin chats with his men about their lives and also starts training them; we have a Dalinar flashback, and a Rock POV. 

Just at the beginning, we have actually-accurate drawings of Urithiru, ,and the letter that will be this chapter’s epigraphs is addressed to Cephandrius, who--I believe--is Hoid. Whoever’s writing it calls him “Dearest Cephandrius,” which is either someone being sarcastic or someone who likes Hoid much more than most other characters who know him. 

Anyway, Shallan is reacting to the fact that Jasnah is alive. She also refers to what she did as “grope an eldritch spren,” which is pretty hilarious. 

Jasnah claimed to always look at things from a logical perspective, but she had a flair for the dramatic to rival any storyteller. 

That’s because she’s a Kholin and, as we all know, drama runs in their bloodline like blue and purple eyes and Alethi dark hair. And again, every time Shallan looks at Jasnah is a Relatable Bisexual Mood: 

Storms. She was perfect. A curvaceous figure, tan Alethi skin, light violet eyes, and not a hint of aberrant color to her jet-black hair. Making Jasnah Kholin as beautiful as she was brilliant was one of the most unfair things the Almighty had ever done. 

SAME, Shallan. And of course, Jasnah sees this return as a teaching moment. Jasnah also tells Shallan that fabrials are, essentially, made by imprisoning spren. Also, when Shallan starts sarcastically talking back to her Jasnah smiles. I think she missed her over-inquisitive sarcastic ward. And Jasnah has run into Kaladin, once--kinda sad we missed that encounter. Shallan also is heartened, kind of, by the fact that Jasnah too has no idea what she’s doing. 

The letter mentions that the writer, among other things, notices Hoid’s “many intrusions into my land.” That’s interesting--implies whoever wrote this is some sort of ruler over an area. A Shard, or just a king of some sort? Hard to say. 

Anyway, over to Dalinar. He’s having his meeting with Queen Fah in the storm. He’s showing her the Knights Radiant saving people--the vision with the family that Dalinar got in the first book. Also,  a rare moment of philosophy from the Stormfather as Dalinar asks about the place of endless white stone where they talk: 

I IMAGINED IT, the Stormfather said more softly,  as if he were admitting something embarrassing. ALL THINGS HAVE A SOUL. A VASE, A WALL, A CHAIR. AND WHEN A VASE IS BROKEN, IT MIGHT DIE IN THE PHYSICAL REALM, BUT FOR A TIME ITS SOUL REMEMBERS WHAT IT WAS. SO ALL THINGS DIE TWICE. ITS FINAL DEATH IS WHEN MEN FORGET IT WAS A VASE, AND THINK ONLY OF THE PIECES. I IMAGINE THE VASE FLOATING AWAY THEN, ITS FORM DISSOLVING INTO NOTHINGNESS. 

This has some interesting larger implications, too. Much as the cognitive form of the vase sticks around when its broken...the Stormfather is almost the same thing in regards to Honor, you know? A Cognitive Shadow. Is one of the things keeping the Stormfather “alive” the fact that people think of him as the Almighty? 

Anyway, Dalinar has taken the place of one of the radiants, the female one in amber shardplate. He isn’t in Shardplate, though, and is wondering about the differences between Radiant Shardplate and Normal Shardplate. So am I, to be honest. Anyway, he’s trying to fish for information about it, but Stormy dissuades him. 

“How,” Dalinar whispered to the Stormfather. “How do we get the armor?”  Speak the Words. “Which words?”  You will know or you will not.  Great. 

Anyway, he meets up with Queen Feh, and they start talking. She points out that it sounds like bullshit that the Almighty would pick Dalinar--”a tyrant and a murderer”--to lead the knights Radiant,  and it hits Dalinar pretty personally because, well, it’s right. 

“Maybe all the good men are dead, so all you have is me!” 

Anyway, Feh is pleased that Dalinar is honestly shouting at her, rather than being tactful and diplomatic. Also, she points out that the vision--which the Stormfather has paused--is really creepy. And Dalinar realizes--the way he was acting, the way he was eerily calm over the spanreed--it made him seem like he was in league with the Voidbringers. 

Dalinar also points out that he learned one important thing--he learned that if he talks to Feh by being himself, she listens more easily. 

Bridge Four, now! Have I mentioned I love Bridge Four. Sigzil was having that nightmare where you’re about to take important tests but you forgot how to read. Lopen is using the fact that Kaladin is back--and, thus, that they’re squires again--to walk upside down on the ceiling. Lopen also uses the nickname “hooch” to refer to Sigzil but refuses to explain what it means. 

Sigzil also reveals that he didn’t pass the important tests, got himself into trouble, and Hoid ended up rescuing him. That’s an interesting note. And then somehow he ended up a slave on Sadeas’ least lucky bridge crew. 

Sigzil found Kaladin doing morning push-ups on the stone floor. His blue jacket was draped over a chair.  “Sir,” Sigzil said.  “Hey, Sig,” Kaladin said, grunting as he continued doing push-ups. “Are the men up and mustered”“  “Up, yes,” Sigzil said. “When I left them, they seemed bordering on a food fight, and only half were in uniform. 

Have I mentioned I love Bridge Four. 

“And then there’s the matter of Drehy...”  “What matter?”  “Well, he’s been courting a man, you see...”  Kaladin threw on his coat, chuckling. “I did know about that one. You only now noticed?”  Sigzil nodded.  “It’s Dru he’s been seeing, still? From the district quartermaster’s offices?” 

Listen, this segment means a lot to me. it’s just...it’s very important to me that one of the guys in Bridge four is seeing another guy, and everyone’s cool with that, and Kaladin is invested enough in his mens’ happiness to know who the guy is and where he works. It might be stupid to be tearing up about this, but if that’s stupid, well, I’m stupid. 

I’m just so tired of worlds where people like me just don’t exist that any one where they do is deeply moving. 

Also Sigzil drops a cryptic reference to “you know what Teft’s gotten into” which knowing Teft could be, well, literally anything. Anyway, as they keep going Lyn joins them, mentioning that the “unusual request” Kaladin wanted has been filled, and Kal says he’s been noticing that she’s been trying to work with Bridge Four. He asks her to join--she’s hype--and then she realizes that he means as a scribe and just wilts.

LET! LYN! FIGHT!

Sigzil finds himself wanting to punch Kaladin, just a little. And literally repeats Kaladin’s same speech about trying to understand what people actually want out of life back to him and Kal is suitably abashed. And he has gotten his hands on a massive amount of gems, so they can practice being Radiants. 

Blackthorn Flashback! 24 years ago. Evi sometimes has Vasheresque idiomatic translation problems: “the life will be as white as a sun at night!” 

Anyway, Evi is pregnant with Adolin! She and Dalinar are watching the flamespren--she sees it as playing, Dalinar as sparring, and Evi points out that she knows how much Dalinar lived for fighting, and she doesn’t like it. And Dalinar at the very least knows he doesn’t deserve her--good, at least he’s got that straight. Evi is amazing and Dalinar, at this point? A train wreck. He’s still in love with Navani, and notes that he and Navani and Gavilar stayed up talking together--Navani was so interested in what she was doing, but Gavilar ignored her. 

None of these marriages are going great, it seems. And Evi mentions that if you want to change who you are you have to go “petition the One in the Valley.” the Nightwatcher. She seems to refer to her as an aspect of the masculine Almighty, but it suggests that the “Almighty” worshipped in Iri and Rira might be Cultivation. Anyway, Gavilar has shown up. 

Apparently, Rathelas, where Dalinar won Oathbringer, is demanding the Blade back, because he “never won it in a fair contest” and the heir returned. 

...Dalinar couldn’t bring himself to kill the child, could he. He took the Blade but left the boy alive. The Thrill vanished when confronted with a crying child. 

Interesting. I remember how, in Mistborn, being confronted with someone--usually someone young--pleading for their life or, more often, the life of someone else broke Ruin’s influence. Anyway, Evi is so proud that Dalinar spared the baby boy--he gave him to his mother and told her to hide him. 

This. This makes me so happy. Dalinar didn’t kill a child. I mean, he was still a butcher and murderer. But there was a line, there. And Dalinar is happy that, just in this moment, Evi sees him as a hero. 

Over to Bridge Four, again! And an alarming note in the letter: 

You mustn’t worry yourself about Rayse. It is a pity about Aona and Skai, but they were foolish--violating our pact from the very beginning. 

a) Aona and Skai literally died and you’re saying it’s just a “pity” that Rayse murdered them? Wow, asshole b) our pact. Implying that this person is a Shard or something on a similar level of power. 

Anyway, we’re over to Numuhukumakiaki’aialunamor, better known as Rock. Turns out his Horneater nickname is Lunamor. He is making stew back out on the Shattered Plains, and is surprised to realize that he kind of missed them. Renarin is working the Oathgate nearby. They’re training along with some others, including five female scouts. 

Let! Them! Fight!

Anyway, Teft has been gone for a while--he didn’t come back last night. That’s not great. Huio, one of the cousins, is helping Teft cook--he makes a chance to the drinks, Rock is SCANDALIZED, but...it turns out delicious. Bridge Four is pioneering fusion cuisine here. Lopen has accidentally stuck himself to the ground entirely. 

“Just part of the plan, gon!” Lopen called back. “If I am to become a delicate cloud upon the sky, I must first convince the ground that I am not abandoning her. Like a worried lover, sure, she must be comforted and reassured that I will return following my dramatic and regal ascent into the sky.”  “You’re not a king, Lopen,” Drehy said. “We’ve been over this.” 

We’ve been over this. How many times do I have to say I love Bridge Four before the words come anywhere close to conveying my affection for them? It is a mystery.

Kaladin: Rock, do you think you use the term “airsick lowlander” too much Rock: [looks over to where Lopen is STILL stuck with stormlight to the ground, sweet-talking it] Rock: No. 

Rock also invites them all to come visit the Horneater peaks. Anyway, Elhokar has shown up. Kaladin has agreed to reclaim Alethkar and the capital with Elhokar, provided he has a few more weeks to train. Also, Rock finds the old bridge itself--the Bridge of Bridge four. Rock also points out that while he was a soldier once, he always--always--loved being a cook. 

He closed his eyes, kneading and humming his mother’s song to a beat he could almost, barely, just faintly hear. 

Your friendly reminder that Horneaters have Listener blood; seems like some of them, at least, haven’t lost the Rhythms. And when Renarin approaches, Rock yells over to ask him to help with the bread. Interestingly, though, Rock can’t see Glys. Perhaps...he’s just really shy? 

“That one, he will never hold spear again. He will not fly, but he  is Bridge Four. I am forbidden to fight, but I am Bridge Four. And you, you might have fancy title and different powers.” He leaned forward. “But I know Bridge Four. And you, Renarin Kholin, are Bridge Four.” 

And that gets Renarin talking--talking about how everyone always wanted him to be an ardent, because look, he was smart, and look, he was so bright--but he knew that what they were really saying was “wow, you’re not as strong as Adolin” and “wow, it would be great for the line of succession if the sickly one couldn’t inherit.” 

“When you say these things, you are almost not bitter!” Lunamor said. “Ha! Much practice must have been required.”  “A lifetime.” 

HUG RENARIN KHOLIN 2K17

Renarin says he feels like the oddest of them--Rock points to Rlain, Renarin startles and says he’s not sure if Rlain counts (just like Renarin isn’t sure he himself “counts” as Bridge Four) and Rock says, yeah. That’s what everyone tells him. So Renarin goes and sits with Rlain. 

Rock notes that one of his ancestors apparently met an Unmade, but doesn’t elaborate. That’s alarming. And we also get to see all the little ways Rock makes Bridge Four keep working--calming people down, listening, getting them to teach him things when they’re not confident. 

And then Rock sees a group of “strong gods” like Sylphrena gathered around a tall spren woman with long hair, watching the training squires. It’s the most he’s seen, anywhere. Anyway, Syl comes over to talk to him--she mentions that the woman, the large one, is Phendorana, some sort of leader who called her out for searching out Kaladin. 

Apparently, the other honorspren are seeing whether or not anyone in Bridge Four are worthy of being full Radiants. Rock walks back, and sees Hobber--the one whose legs were paralyzed by Szeth--trying desperately to draw out Stormlight from a sphere. 

And he can feel his toes again! Everyone tows all of their gemstones over. 

And then they find a raided caravan--but one of the Voidbringers who did it was brought down. By an unkalaki arrow. 

Lunamor looked to the right, where someone had piled up furniture in a heat, almost like a fortification. A head poked over the top, a stout woman with a round face and a deep red braid. She stood up tall and raised a bow toward Lunamor. Other faces peeked out from behind the furniture. Two youths, a boy and a girl both around sixteen. Younger faces from there. Six in total.  Lunamor dashed toward them and found himself blubbering, tears streaming down his cheeks as he crawled up the outside of their improvised fortification.  His family, at long last, had arrived at the Shattered Plains. 

ROCK’S! FAMILY!

IM SO HAPPY FOR HIM HE DESERVES THIS SO MUCH!!! His wife is Song (Tuaka’li’na’calmi���nor); the twins are Gift and Cord; the next son is also Rock (a different,  smaller kind); the third son is Star, the second daughter Kuma’tiki--a kind of shell not present in the lowlands--and the last daughter is also Song-- “Beautiful Song.” She’s only four--she doesn’t remember him. 

And Renarin,  with healing, managed to save several people’s lives. We also get that something is very wrong with the Peaks. Also, Rock notes that he’s been lying to some of the other men. For example--he’s not really a chef, according to their order of inheritance, it sounds like. It seems like all of his older brothers are dead, which would make him a leader. 

And Bridge Four does one last, final run with their bridge. They won’t need it, anymore--they’ll be flying. 

[quitbeingbanished]

Changing my genre (Charlie x Jo)

Title: Changing my genre

Pairing: Charlie x Jo

Prompt: Songfic for #kimsbirthdaychallenge @ilostmyshoe-79

word count: 1215

warnings: AU where Jo is an edgy larp girl and Charlie is normally not into that, Larping, Charlie being awkward and adorable

song: Changing my Major from Fun Home OST

a/n: I had two other fic idea I tried to do with this but...this happened. this is my first wlw fic I’ve written since I came out as trans. I did have my lovely assistant @becomingmyinnerdemons help me make sure it wasn’t uncomfortable. As such pretty rated G and kinda fluffy.

tagging: @brewsthespirit-blog , @smallreferencepools​

Charlie totally loved LARP. She considered herself a bit of a larping queen actually. But she preferred high Fantasy, elves, dragons and magic. She felt comfortable in that setting. She could min-max her way to being the baddest bitch on the game floor. She read books like Harry Potter and the Hobbit. She liked fantasy, it was a happy place where the heroes always won—well, except for Song of Ice and Fire. It was an escape, a warm blanket of an escape. She liked fantasy. She had no interest in dark and gritty settings. Comics in the 90’s had been terrible. Batman was overrated.

She’d seen the source material a few times in her local game store. Books that were marked ADULT as if somehow playing vampires or werewolves were the mature thing to do. Charlie had plenty of adult encounters while in Middle-earth, thank you very much. But when there had been a flyer in her local gamer den for a new larp on the local college campus? Yeah, Charlie had decided to give it a go. Not because she was interested in this pretentious system but because her main game was in its offseason.

Sometimes a girl just needs a larp fix, regardless of the genre.

   She had sent an email to the contact on the flyer for the online group for the game. Roads Not Taken was a silly name for a campaign but Charlie had once been in a D&D game called Elf Quest so who was she to judge? She joined the topic for new players where the Story Teller--how weird was that to call your game master?-- that told her the system was just humans who got tapped with powers to fight monsters. It didn’t sound as goth as she had been expecting.

  Charlie was wowed by just how normal and geeky everyone had seemed. Just normal geeks who were planning on starting a larp about hunting monsters. One of the other players offered to help her build a character for the system. Charlie was fairly sure she could figure out how to build a character by herself but the offer game with the chance to actually know someone before hitting the game floor so she’d agreed.

  They had chatted privately for a couple days before agreeing on a time to meet up before the game to go over the basics. Charlie learned her real name was Jo. Charlie loved talking to her if she was honest. She learned Jo had an older taste in music. She worked with her mom at a bar not too far away. Jo had a wicked sense of humor. Jo also apparently was super well versed in the system. She had pdf copies of all the books for the system that she had emailed to Charlie through an encrypted server. It wasn’t the first time Charlie had gotten a crush on a girl across the internet but she was falling hard for her.

  Charlie felt comfortable enough to talk about her own life. How she worked in IT. What her favorite books and tv shows were and how much she really missed having a game that ran on a set schedule. How her Hogwarts house was Gryffindor and Hermione was her favorite character. 

  Jo said that was adorable. Charlie had screenshot that exchanges to her phone and stared at it sometimes feeling her face go red every time.

  Her favorite character from Harry Potter was Ron. She considered herself to by a Gryffindor as well but Pottermore had sorted her into Slytherin of all things. Jo talked about her collection of fantasy swords as well as just knives in general. She mentioned her favorite shows were a little more mystery than fantasy. She liked terrible B horror movies as well as good horror.

  Jo even made Hunter the Reckoning seem interesting and three dimensional. Jo made it a very human story. How people could just be going about their lives when suddenly the powers that be pulled back the curtain and revealed the monsters that existed in the world. Jo made the dark and gritty world of darkness even seem kind of cool.

  Charlie learned from talking with Jo on her skype that Jo was in at least 3 other larps in the city. Charlie got to learn all the drama of the intersecting Organizations of larps, two vampires and one werewolf. She got to hear some off-topic stories about how her friend Dean was constantly in some new crisis in a game because he couldn’t ignore or not take the bait for a plot. She heard about how the politics of one vampire game screwed up all her fun in the other one.

  Jo even asked for her facebook. Charlie had been hesitant to give it at first, it was full of some memes and her different cosplay pictures. But she gave it anyway. She liked Jo. Jo seemed like a good person. Jo was gorgeous. Her smile in her photos was infectious. Charlie found herself smiling every time she got a text or IM from Jo anyways but now she had a face to go with it.

    Through facebook, she also got to put other faces to names. Jo started a small group chat with some of the other players going to the hunter game to have a slight chance at building a group that sort of knew each other. Charlie found she liked most of them thought Sam and Dean seemed to be constantly getting each other off track. Adam normally only seemed to communicate with memes. Castiel was the assistant Storyteller for the game and seemed to be trying to keep Dean from getting too out there. Charlie was falling in love with Jo’s friends too.

  The only thing Charlie couldn’t seem to ask was whether Jo felt the same way about how they were getting along. They were talking all the time now. Once facebook had been exchanged then Instagram and twitter followed. Charlie wondered if she had a Tumblr but was afraid to ask, her Tumblr was overflowing with personal posts gushing about how much she liked Jo, it seemed a bad plan to open that door right now.

  So when are we meeting tomorrow? Charlie texted Jo.

  Want to catch coffee tomorrow before game? I want to see if the Unicorn thing is as bad as everyone says. Jo responded.

  It’s a date. Charlie had responded without thinking.

  Hope that means you’re paying ;) Jo had texted back.

  Charlie had to lay on the bed and remember how to breathe.

   Charlie totally hadn’t driven herself crazy with what to wear to meet Jo for the first time. She wasn’t sure if it was a date-date or just a ‘gals being pals’ event. That would have been insane to hyper stress about what to wear. She had stuffed her character clothes in her bag and showed up fifteen minutes early to the coffee shop and tried to calm her breathing.

  When Jo walked in with a t-shirt of Captain America’s shield colored in the bisexual flag Charlie was sure she’d died and gone to heaven.

  “Cute shirt.” Charlie has said waving Jo over.

  “thanks. I only save it for first dates with cute girls.” Jo had grinned.

[danialworks]

Apropos Whatever - 1

I used to think a blog would be a really good idea.  Get some lost writing skills back, connect somewhat facelessly with, well, somewhat of the rest of the world.  It’s a big place, the world.  But words in a blog-- they can go anywhere, be read by anyone.  Most of what I have to talk about is media based, peppered with my sociological commentary, and a bit of snarkiness about politics and world events.  My snarkiness, and my sociological commentary.  Me.  Mine.  I don’t say that because I think I’m wrong.  I say it because I don’t want anybody to feel subliminally bullied by what I have to say.  By what I feel about fiction and modern events.  You know.  Stuff.  Whatever.  Everything.

What I feel most online, though, these days, is that I’m the only one.

The obvious bullies are everywhere.  So are the subliminal ones-- such are even more widespread, if you ask me.  Many, if not most, don’t think/know they are bullying. It’s hard to define, but let’s try this.  Absolutism to counter absolutism is not education.

I don’t like the internet so much these days.  I’m not the most social creature in the world in the first place.

Here I am, anyway.

I could talk about the new series of Doctor Who, or let you know if I think the first episode of Titans is too violent; maybe tell you about the cozy I just finished reading, or what Wheel of Time Book I’m on.  I could go for a couple of pages about DC Comics’ Heroes In Crisis.  Unhappy pages.

Maybe I will.

But nope, not this time.

This time is about a sense of identity.

You see, I’ve joked for most of my life that I’m the world’s worst bisexual.  I bond more easily with women, no matter what the relationship.  That last sentence isn’t part of the joke. It’s my truth. It’s just me.  And I’ll be me, thanks.  And, in this life, I’ve had lots of people tell me that’s not bisexual.  Well, the ones who think of themselves as straight often think that it still makes me bi, and some of the others who use the word straight think my slight wavering towards the male of the species must have some deep emotional trauma deep in this boy’s psyche.  We’ll get back to trauma in a paragraph or ten.  But often enough, those who do not think of themselves as straight think I remain a little too straight to be bisexual.  There are lots of phrases for my condition.  Please feel free to offer up your favorites in the comments below, anyone who happens to find themselves reading this, wherever you are in the world.  And of course, there are loads of LGBT who are fine with me being bisexual.  But the one who got me thinking is the young lady who said she doesn’t think I’m bisexual, but I’m obviously still queer.

That one caught me off my guard.  I’ve never used the word queer in my life.

It sounds like a label.

Okay.  It sounds like a label to me, and for me, it is one.  Millions, I’m told, do not agree.   Some even build a sense of freedom of identity in the word, and that makes it a good and wonderous thing.

Bisexual is just an infrequently used descriptive.

It’s my sense of identity.  I don’t hide it, and I don't flaunt it.

But not so long ago, I found a way to prove it-- more or less without the help of science.  There was this party.  Not a phrase I’ll often use, because I only go to parties to make special someone’s happy-- other wise I’m the guy in the corner sighing heavily and wishing I was home watching Doctor Who.  It was a large party, filled with strangers of all backgrounds and orientations.  The idea was simple.  Look and be looked at-- fully clothed, mind you.  Make connections.  Meet cute if you wanted, one night stand if you wanted-- as long as you kept it going after the party.  Mill, meet, greet who you liked, and move on to mill again.  Eventually, of course, it just kind of turned into an over-sized party-- what did anybody expect?  So... I went to the party, and I followed the rules-- of the party.  I just didn’t follow my rules.  Beauty is a subjective thing.  But what if, for one big gathering only, I objectified freely-- you know-- like a straight guy.   Would I still like the womenfolk over the menfolk if I briefly psyched myself into only seeing the sexy?  The objectively pretty or handsome face? I bet supper with a pal the female of the species would still win-- but the margin would narrow quite noticeably.  The bosomy would win over the pectoral.  Yea.  Not so much.  I lost the bet.  Those who got close enough to start a connection ran fifty-fifty.  Women may hold the title subjectively-- but not entirely-- but in a large space where objectification is part of the point-- in all directions, if you wanted to be objective, or even subjective, you had to be willing to be objectified and subjectified, too-- I really do go both ways.

The word is biSEXUAL.  And if I were a more sexual creature, it would fit me like your best pair of jeans.  But I’m not, and I’m perfectly fine wearing the word like a warm sweater a size too big, but comfy as can be.

My sexual identity belongs only to me.

Oh.  That’s right.  I promised trauma.

How to pick, how to pick.

Oh, let’s throw the man card away--  right at the start.

I don’t need anyone’s sense of an imaginary license to know I am the male of my kind.

Anyway, when I was, oh, say 13, I was deathly ill with a flu-like something, and the parentals went out for the evening-- a somewhat rare occurrence, really.  Only months before, we had moved from a small town to the not so big city, and they still had this problem remembering to lock the front door.  And you see, there was this gang of older teenagers, stoned out of their minds on something.  Now, your minds are filling in the blanks, and you’re going to be wrong.  You’re assuming teenage boys, or at the very least a mixed group.  No.  These were female.  Somehow, word had gotten around that I had gotten into trouble with Mom on a weekend vacay for spending an afternoon with an older girl of some mild fame getting myself... educated, and that I had been sharing this education with some of the girls more my own age.  You know, on request.  All an... exaggeration.  So they came in my house where I was alone, this gang.  Hacking, wheezing, heart already palpitating, I had to hide.  Some of these... people... got chased back out by the dog.  Lots of bark, no bite.  All but one gave up when they got bored and couldn’t find me, and maybe they wouldn’t really have known what to do if they did find me-- as far as going through with it goes.  Live in hope, right?  Oh, but that last one, she was determined.   She found me, tripping over my feet as I hid under the bathroom sink.  Cramped legs won over the need to not be found.  Here’s where it gets tricky.  She thinks she did it.  Sometimes, the whole thing being as messed up as it is-- it’s easy to believe it.  She really did try, but a hacking, shivering child rolled up in a tight, cramping ball has one silver lining-- an armadillo effect.  So this rape wasn’t a completed act.  Too stoned, enough so that she imagined getting her vile job done, and believed it.

I still like girls better.  If you ask me, and if you’ve read this far, you are-- kind of, anyway-- asking me for this next thought: trauma does not usually have a causative effect on sexual orientation.  We really are born who we are in this regard.

And, if you are bullyingly-- wow no spellcheck on that one-- conservative of religion and/or politics-- you likely don’t think that was sexual assault or attempted rape of any kind.  Cuz Imma boy.

ALL SEXUAL ASSAULT IS ASSAULT.

No matter skin color, religion, orientation, country of birth-- oh yea.  Gender.

Assault is assault.

It can’t be understood as anything else.