#birthday surprise part three: going to North Carolina

[dancingtotuyo]

The Life We Built (Joel Miller)

Part 5 of Build You The World Joel X Reader Rating: PG-13 (Language) Warnings: fluff, that's it. Tags: no outbreak, fluff, craftsman!Joel, Time jump, it's 2023 folks, no mentions of COVID, you decide if it happened Notes: So we've reached the end of this little adventure that was only supposed to be a one shot, but never fear! I have another Joel Miller idea in the works. Check out my Masterlist for some Javier Peña works as well! Thank you everyone for your support! Words: 1998

Series Master List | Author Master list

Joel eased into the chair next to you under the pergola he built 25 years ago. It was still sturdy and spoke to Joel’s craftsmanship. The sun was beginning to set, granting some relief to the spring heat as you watched your three grown children clean up the backyard. They’d insisted the two of you relax. 

Emma graduated from Duke last weekend with honors in Pre-med. Which meant traveling to North Carolina for the ceremony. Joel has insisted on driving up. He hated flying. With a 20-hour car ride one way, you caught up on a lot of reading and almost booked yourself a plane ticket home. The two of you had been gone for almost a week. So her graduation party took place this weekend at home. She’d been accepted into UNC-Chapel Hill’s School of Medicine and would be going back to Durham in a couple of weeks. She was officially moving out, boxes already stacked high in her room. You and Joel both chose not to think about your baby leaving the nest for good.  

Emma laughed at something Asher said. You couldn’t see Sarah roll her eyes, but you knew by her body language. Joel chuckled next to you. He sensed it too, both in tune with your children. 

Asher graduated with a Bachelor's in Engineering from UT-Austin a few years ago, choosing to stay close to home. He had a small apartment in town working at Miller Construction since graduation. Joel joked that if he didn’t put his degree to use soon, he was gonna have to rebrand as Miller and Son. You had a sneaking suspicion that’s what Asher wanted. He and Joel shared the same love of building things with their hands. 

“Grandpa!” Sarah’s 3-year-old daughter, Jessie bounded across the yard, dark curls bouncing like springs behind her. You could see the brightly colored book in her grasp.

She panted heavily as she reached the two of you. Her small hands rested on Joel’s knees. She looked up through dark lashes. “Will you read this to me?”

Joel smiled. She reminded you so much of Sarah at her age. “Don’t you want grandma to do it? She’s a much better reader than me.”

“No, you!”

“Okay, Okay.” Joel chuckled, pulling the child onto his lap. You closed your eyes as you listened to Joel read. His drawl had only deepened with age but it still flowed like honey. It soothed your weary bones and often brought you through time, making you feel 25 again. 

Sarah had started college at the University of Georgia but transferred to UT-Austin after her freshman year. She loved Georgia, but she missed being close to her family more. She’d earned her Bachelor's in Journalism and Creative Writing (also with Honors). Working across all aspects of journalism, she went back to get her MFA several years later. She worked freelance for several publications and taught a creative writing class at the community college in town. She’d married Mike 6 years ago. They’d been together since senior year of college aside from a one-year gap. They’d bought a house just down the street from you and Joel soon after their wedding. Jessie’s 4th birthday was next week, and aside from her husband, you were the only other person to know that Sarah was 8 weeks pregnant. They were planning to reveal it next on Father’s Day.

You and Sarah were convinced Joel didn’t have a clue. The two of you were desperate to surprise him. Other than his 45th birthday party, you and Sarah hadn’t been able to surprise Joel in the 31 years you’d loved him. He’d even figured out Sarah’s first pregnancy before they’d told anyone. 

Joel continued to read. The world drifted further away only anchored by the sound of his voice. Sometimes a bird’s song drifted in and out. The warm breeze floated across your skin. Joel’s voice stayed constant. 

“Grandpa… Shhhhh, grandma is sleepin.”

Joel looked up from the book. He smiled. The wrinkles around his eyes were well-defined now. “I think she’s just restin her eyes, kiddo.”

“That’s what you say when you’re sleeping!” Jessie giggled. 

“Keep reading,” you said, keeping your eyes closed. “The story was just getting good.” 

He looked at Jessie who nodded her head, and he continued. 

The construction business had been good to Joel. Miller Construction kept its outstanding reputation throughout the years, something Joel worried about as the number of crews grew and his ability to check up on every job decreased. Joel spent most of his days on job sites in a supervisory capacity. He trained the new hires to meet his rigid standards, and his body took less wear and tear. He was able to spend more quiet morning moments with you. At 56 years old, he was still the best pitcher in the men’s rec softball league. He took every Thursday morning off to hang out with Jessie while Sarah taught her class at the Community College. He piddled in the garage on weekends, working on the next project. He’d just redone the kitchen cabinets. Tommy joked that Joel lived in partial retirement, but there was some truth to it. You liked seeing him take time 

Joel finished the book as Sarah and Mike walked over. You slowly opened your eyes, letting the world envelope you once again. 

“It’s time for us to go home, Bear,” Mike said. 

Before Jessie could issue a complaint, Joel pulled her into a back-breaking squeeze. She laughed. He tickled her sides. “Grandpa!” 

“I gotta make sure you meet your tickle quota.” 

“I have! I have!” Jessie laughed, her cheeks turning red. 

“Okay,” Joel let out a deep breath. “I think that’s enough for today.” 

Jessie wrapped her arms around Joel’s neck, kissing his cheek. “Love you, Grandpa!”

“I love you too.” He kissed her cheek, patting her back. “I’ll see you on Thursday.”

Jessie slid off his lap, rushing to you. A chorus of goodbyes between parties rose in the corner of your backyard in hugs and handshakes. Jessie nestled into her father’s arms, eyes already beginning to droop. 

Joel wrapped his arms around you. You leaned into him. His hands traveled down your back, lips finding yours. You grinned feeling warm and giddy. Even after all these years, he still had the same effect on you. 

Gagging noises interrupted your moment. Asher and Emma stood on the porch directing said sounds at you. 

“Get a room!”

“We don’t want to see that!”

Joel flipped them off before firmly grabbing your ass making a show of the steamy kiss he planted on you. You laughed. He kissed your neck softly. 

“You’re gonna traumatize the kids.”

“They’re grown adults. They can leave.” He nuzzled into your neck. “I want to kiss my wife in our backyard.”  

“Y’all are gross.” Asher chided. 

“If it weren’t for us, you two wouldn’t be here,” Joel shouted back. 

“You say that like it’s a good thing!” Emma responded. “Have you seen the world?”

“Hey,” You laughed. “You’re the saving grace of this family, Miss I’m going to be a doctor.” 

Asher scowled. “Don’t say that. Her head will get bigger than it already is.” He ruffled Emma’s hair. 

Emma rolled her eyes. “We’re done cleaning up. We’ll leave you two to do… that.” She motioned toward you and Joel. “Asher’s gonna take me out on the town.”

“Make smart decisions,” Joel called.

“Always!” Emma smiled. 

The duo filed out of the backyard leaving you and Joel alone. Joel kissed your forehead as you swayed to a nonexistent tune. 

When you finally stopped, you and Joel sought the respite of AC inside. Joel prepared a plate of leftovers for the two of you to share on the couch. You read as Joel watched the Baseball game on low volume. You propped your feet on his lap. His thumbs found the soles of your feet applying pressure. You hummed. 

You had stepped down from your position at Miller Construction after Emma started high school. As much as you loved working with Joel and helping him build and expand the business, desires drew you elsewhere. You started working part-time at the public library. When their head librarian announced plans to retire, the city had offered to pay for you to get your Masters in Library Science providing you could give them a 10-year commitment. Daunting at first, you’d managed to complete the courses in 2 years via an online program. You work at the library full-time now. Joel often brought Jessie in on Thursday mornings along with a coffee for you. You tended to the garden on weekends. Joel replaced your raised beds a few years ago. You had the kids over for dinner once a week. You and Sarah walked the block on pleasant evenings. You spent lazy evenings on the couch with Joel, something that had rarely been a part of your marriage until the past few years. 

“I’ve been thinking…”

You looked up from your book. “Uh oh, that’s never good.”

He tickled the bottom of your foot earning a squeal. Everyone talked about growing out of being ticklish. That had never happened to you. “I think it’s probably time to refinish the book nook.”

You glanced behind you, eyes trailing over the bookshelves Joel had built you more than 25 years ago. They’d been through it. The finish was peeling in a few places. The cabinet doors that lined the bottom were dented and scratched from a number of things bumping and running into it while raising 3 kids. You glanced at the farthest one, still stained with faint marks from Emma taking Sharpies to it when she was 3. Residue from stickers marked other areas. 

“Sounds like a big project.”

“I’ve got the time.” Joel smiled. 

He reached down beside him, revealing a gift bag. A simple brown paper bag with a gold ribbon neatly tied and curled. Sarah’s trademark. He handed it to you with a smile.

“This from you or Sarah?”

“Me.” Joel crinkled his nose. “Just asked Sarah to wrap it for you.”

You lifted the bag up and down. It felt like it was probably a book. It rarely wasn’t. “And what is this for?” You smiled at him.

“Just fulfilling my husbandly duties.”

You laughed as you untied the ribbon. Joel had taken your first line to him like an oath over the course of your relationship. He’d surprised you with a new book at random times. Sometimes you came home to one on the kitchen counter or your nightstand. Other times, wrapped or handed to you, each with an inscription detailing something he loved about you and how “Pretty” didn’t cut it. 

You smiled at him, pulling a hardcover book out of the bag. You opened the front cover. A piece of paper slipped out. Before you could investigate, Joel’s handwriting caught your attention. 

I don’t know if you’ve been counting, darling, but this is the 100th book I’ve given you. When I met you in that bar, I knew if I had the chance to give you just one, I’d be the luckiest man alive. 

We always talked about going on a big trip for our 25th wedding anniversary. I know it’s a little bit late, but I booked us on that trip to Italy you were eying last year. 

I’m sure it’ll be beautiful, but I still think the best view is you. 

I love you, Darling. 

You picked up the slip of paper: the booking confirmation set for mid-September. You looked up at Joel, tears blurring your vision. 

He chuckled. “Surprise.”

You set the book carefully on the end table, moving onto Joel’s lap. “You hate flying.”

“But I love new places.” He kissed your nose. He still looked at you like you hung the galaxy. You imagined you looked at him the same. “And you.”  

You kissed him, the words whispered for just the two of you. “I love you too.”

[stephsyearinreview]

Steph’s Year in Review – 2022 Edition

2022 was a year of celebration and it was a hoot! It felt like our first “real” year of retirement as in 2021 Craig was so involved with closing his parents’ estate. The freedom this gave us, combined with celebrating my 60th birthday all year long, had me/us seeing many friends and family around the country/world

I started the year in the Tucson area for pickleball with Joan Hanson, Dave Brown, Johnny Stutsman, and Heidi Thorsen (SEA pickleball peeps) and a visit with Marilyn Byrne (MSFT friend).  In February, Craig and I took a quick ski trip to Sun River/Mt Bachelor as a trial run for our road trip “ski safari”.  The three-week safari took us through Idaho, where we visited with Bob and Ann Arnold (MSFT friends) and down to Salt Lake City (SLC).  In UT, we had great fun skiing Snowbird, Alta, Deer Valley, and Solitude.  We also had dinner with Colleen Daly (MSFT friend).  After SLC, we went over to Steamboat Springs where we visited with Brandon and Scott Jones (cousins).  Guy Michaelsen (SEA neighbor) joined us in Steamboat and we had fun hanging with him. Driving home from CO, we stopped in Jackson Hole for some snow mobiling, and Montana for one last ski mountain, Big Sky. I was wondering if I’d get tired of all that skiing and I never did!  

April 11th marked my 60th birthday and my pickleball peeps helped me celebrate, at the local SEA bowling alley, which was a blast.  Craig surprised me with a 10-day trip to Palm Springs to mark the official milestone. While there, I was doubly surprised when Jan and Gray Crary (Univ of CO friends) showed up from LA to help celebrate. In addition, Heather Pollock (childhood friend), came over from Santa Monica for a visit.

In early May, my girlfriend Susan Landahl (MSFT friend) and I went to Phoenix for a long weekend.  And in mid-May, Peggy O’Connor (Univ of CO friend) and Suzanne Coupe (Pat Kirkland Leadership friend) met me in Tulsa for a weekend of reading and girl-time.  Unfortunately, when I got home, I came down with Covid. While Craig got it from me, miraculously neither Peggy nor Suzanne did!

At the end of June, Craig and I headed to the Midwest. The ultimate impetus was a joint birthday party in Bloomington, IN.  My sister, Jan, turned 80 in September and I turned 60 in April so we had a joint birthday party over the 4th of July weekend.  It was fun to see the whole fam damnly (as well as Bea Travis, Ellen Campbell, and Gary Hafner & Jane Clay -  all old friends from Bloomington).  Leading up to the visit to my hometown, Craig and I spent some time in Cleveland checking out the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame and going to the water park at Cedar Point. While in Cleveland we saw my Portland friend, Cathy Wilcox.  On this Midwest junket, we also went to Detroit where we toured the Ford museum and did some fun bike riding.  We also had a lovely dinner with my Booking.com friend, Amy Accetura.

It was great spending the majority of the summer in the Seattle area.  Craig talked about a perfect week including hiking, biking, and stand up paddleboarding and we had several of those trifecta weeks!  

In September, Craig and I headed to the desert and did some great site seeing & hiking in Antelope Canyon, Horseshoe Bend, and Zion before ending up in Vegas.  In sin city, we met up with my niece, Melanie Schwandt, and “the Scots” Jules and Dougal.  The five of us headed for Lees Ferry and took an amazing two-week rafting trip the Colorado.

In late September, Craig and I took what Craig called Secret Squirrel “The Fall Tour” (the second part of my surprise birthday trip/celebration).  We went down to the WA/OR border and slept in a tree house (!) for three nights before heading to the beach and spending three more at Cannon Beach.  

In October, we headed to North Carolina for my niece, Clare Cady’s wedding to Austin Tepsic.  After our time in Raleigh, we did some exploring of the Outer Banks and the Southern Banks.  When we got home, I was so excited to be home for two whole months.  Who would think I’d get a bit burnt out on traveling.  

On November 16th, I had a small accident with my 2017 Fusion Hybrid.  “Füshy B” as I call her has less than 30k miles on her and will be paid off Feb 9! Fortunately, no one was hurt. While technically I hit the other person, it was her fault as she pulled out in front of me.  Amazing how much damage can be done to cars even going at a relatively slow speed.  As of January 14th, Progressive hadn’t decided yet whether to fix it or consider it a complete loss.  

In mid-December, we caught the travel bug again and were very excited to fly to Iceland and Sweden for our arctic adventure. While the crazy weather in Iceland curtailed some of our activities, the time in Sweden was perfect.  I spent time with my step mother, Eva, as well as my Swedish family Margareta & Bengt, and Chatarina, Lief, and Elisabet. Christmas day, Craig and I flew up to The Ice Hotel -  200k above the Arctic Circle.  We spent one night in an ice room and two nights in a warm room.  Activities there included dog sledding (where we were mushers), snow mobiling, Nordic skiing, and eating lots of yummy food.  

In between all these great trips, when home, I play pickleball three times a week and continue to be honored to volunteer for End of Life Washington.  

As I wrap up this missive, I love the fact that this year I did so many fun things and saw so many of my friends and family in person. I love this quote from Carol Zizzo (Henley Leadership Group) in response to one of our blog posts:  I imagine you on your deathbed saying "Yep, been there, did that, as I said I would, and it was fantastic!”

On that note, I’ll sign off and continue planning our 2023 adventures.  

Love & Kisses - Steph 

[browneyes-issac]

Birthday surprise part three: going to North Carolina

Warnings: dirty talk in public. Teasing. Lots of cuteness woven throughout. 💞

Jack Daniels x Oberyn Martell x Frankie Morales x F!reader

AN: I'm so sorry I have taken longer then I said I would.. Each time I've sat down to write, I write a few things then I just go meh.. Idk why, I got the idea going in my head and it just isn't coming out lol.. But I've been trying my best each day, I hope you like what I did with this part.. 💞

There is a part while on the plane that I didn't say what happened next. I left it like that to let your minds wonder.. 🤭💞

Summary: It's time to go to North Carolina! 🤗💞

The gif inspo for this part is, this is Jack the whole time after he told reader everything. Because who wouldn't be grinning like a cute goofball after that?? 💗🤗

Birthday surprise masterlist

Main masterlist

Frankie gets back about ten minutes after Jack has told you everything he wanted to and about the trip. You and Jack are sitting in the comfy chair in the living room, it really only can fit one but you guys are making it for two because you can't get enough of each other now. Oberyn is in the kitchen cooking something small to eat while smiling at how adorable and in love Jack & you are.

You two don't even notice Frankie is home so he goes to the kitchen with Oberyn. " I can see breakfast went well and everyone is packed? " he says while laughing and grabbing an apple to eat. " You are correct brother. I already can't get them to seperate to do anything. So it's your turn to get them to do so, so we can make sure we have everything packed to leave. " he says while shaking his head and laughing at his brother and his best friend. He couldn't be more happy for you both. " wish me luck then. " Frankie says while walking into the living room.

" ok lovebirds, we need to double check we have everything so we can get going! So separate or I'm gonna tear you guys apart and not let you be next to each other until we get to NC. " Frankie says sternly but with a smile because he loves that you guys are so in love.

" Ok ok, no need to he hostile, Francisco! We will go check our stuff. " you say with your hands up in defense ( Jack does so too) while laughing and getting off of Jack's lap. Before Frankie can see, you throw a pillow at Jack to cover his lower half. Because all that making out and cuddling turned him on a lotttt.. 😏 You're smiling so big and Jack sees so he swats your butt, which makes you squill and run up to your room giggling like a school girl.

Frankie notices, but doesn't say anything he just shakes his head while walking to his room to check his bag also.

Jack, oh sweet Jack is so red faced from being embarrassed that he got so turned on, but he just grins the biggest grin because he finally has you.

" if you need a few minutes of alone time you got time! " Oberyn yells after Jack because he knew without even seeing him that he needed it.

" oh fuck off!! He paused for a few beats. But thank you. " he walks back and peaks around the corner and says that to his brother with a flustered smile on his face.

Ok I got both suitcase that has Y/N's presents from us in them. I got all of my stuff packed in my suitcase and backpack. I think we are ready to go. Oberyn says to himself while mentally checking that he has everything.

Frankie is the first down stairs with his stuff. Of course you and Jack are taking longer. The evil brat that Jack is, after he was done checking his bags he snuck into your room to help you out and distract you with kisses and cuddling up against you all sexy like. Finally after 5 minutes of Frankie being down stairs ready to go, you guys walk down stairs. All lovey dovey, fingers intertwined, smiles so big and bright you guys need to have warning signs to others to wear sunglasses if someone is around you guys.

" Everyone ready to go? " Frankie says in his dad voice because time is getting low.

" Yes dad! " both you and Jack say in unison while laughing like kids.

" you guys are such children. Now let's get going, I'm excited and ready to go! " Frankie says while grabbing his stuff and pushing everyone out the door so he can lock up.

The ride to the airport went fast. You and Jack got your making out and acting like kids under control on the ride there, since you can't exactly act goofy and be making out on the plane. Check in and getting on the plane went well also. You decide you're going to take a nap before you guys get to NC.

What ever could be causing you to be so sleepy.. 🤔 Probably all that making out and being silly with your boyfriend. You think to yourself. It's still crazy to say Jack is your boyfriend. You fall asleep pretty quickly while leaning on Jack and cuddling into him the best you can. He has the most precious smile and look on his face seeing you sleep so peacefully and cuddling with him to do so.. He couldn't be more in love with you then right now.

" Hey sugar, it's time to wake up. We are about to land. " Jack says so sweetly with that southern accent while softly caressing your cheek to wake you up. You nuzzle closer to him, not budging to wake up. He just smiles and shakes his head and tries again. " Baby, it's time to wake up, we are about to land. If you don't wake up now I'm gonna have to tickle you awake. " he says while smile and shaking his head, while brushing the hair out of your face and soothly rubbing his hand on your shoulder. " ok ok, I'm up. I don't need to be tickled, especially in public. You know how embarrassing that would be, because I laugh to loud. " you say while playfully smacking him after you wake up and stretch some.

You let out the smallest of moans while you are stretching. Jack absolutely hears it and just stares at you in awe. In the mean time, once again he needs to cover himself up because that little moan sent his cock into a frenzy. I mean who could blame him? You are absolutely gorgeous, that moan was adorable and equally sexy. So of course his mind would start thinking how he could make you do it more and more louder. Which sent the signal down to his little ( big) buddy.

You notice right away and start grinning. Then lean over and give him a kiss that starts out sweet and then gets heated. Right before one of you decides to ask permission to deepen the kiss. You lean back into you seat with an even bigger and evil grin. While Jack is over there breathless and even more hard then before.

" Y/N, sugar. You are gonna be the death of me, that was not fair at all. You are going to have to be punished once we get to the beach house and alone. " He whispers in your ear so seductively with that low dark voice you haven't ever heard from him.

You just sit there turning red and your mouth open from being surprised. You have to cross your legs to ease the throbbing of your heat after hearing Jack say that and with that voice.

He noticed so he leans even closer.. He nibbles on you ear, which makes you moan and wiggle because you cant do anything and he knows it. He just chuckles and moves down your neck to your pulse point and kisses you, leaving a mark. You have to cover your mouth to muffle the whimper that caused. Jack is satisfied with what he did, so he leans back in his seat with that damn smile again.

You can't even think straight, brain is complete mush. Pretty much can guarantee you need a change of undies now, because of how wet this evil man just made you. Which you aren't complaining, but damn him. Because you can't even do anything for at least another few hours. Since you haven't even landed yet.

Everything goes well with getting off the plane, getting all the bags, and finding your rental car. Now it's time to eat.

The group ends up deciding on a cute little place that is similar to subway, but is way better and it's a local place. Figured eat light to get by so you guys can get to the house to drop off your things and go explore.

~~~~

After everyone gets things settled into your rooms. Everybody is out in the living room within a few minutes of each other.

" so what shall we do first, birthday flower? " Obee says while giving you a side hug and smiling down at you.

" hmmm... Let's go drive around for a little bit and then come back and relax. Recharge from the flight. "

" that sounds fun to me. We can write down places we want to stop later on and such. " Frankie says while grabbing the keys to the car.

~~~~~~~

You guys have so much fun just driving around, can't even fathom how much fun youll have all month!

It is absolutely gorgeous in the town Frankie chose. There is are so many places you all want to go just from looking around in the time you were out and about.

It's been about an hour and a half that you've been out driving. The soothing music and perfectly temperature of the wind has made you sleepy. So you scooch over to Jack and cuddle into his side while he wraps his arm around you to keep you safe and cozy. Jack doesn't realize you fell asleep until you guys get back to the house. In the mean time he is speaking softly to you about so many sweet things..

" Y/N, I'm so greatful for you to be in my life. You've helped me so much through so many things.. I will spend the rest of my life trying to repay you my love. I cant wait for you to see your presents tomorrow, I hope you'll love them. "

You hear him for the most part, you are falling in and out of consciousness. So you only make out some of what he says, but you know its so sweet and beautiful. Makes your heart melt and makes you fall in love with him even more.

You officially are knocked out asleep. So Jack gracefully pulls away from you and lays you in the seat. So he can get out, then pick you up and caring you to your room.

He takes of your shoes and very gentlemanly like takes your bra off, because ya know who wants to sleep in their bra, lol. He doesn't even try to peak at anything, he takes care of you like a true gentleman. . Takes your hair down also so it won't bother you in your sleep.

After he tucks you in he kisses your forehead and whispers; " I love you x infinity, always my love. Sleep tight. I'll see you in the morning. "

He walks to the door and turns around to get one more look at you. " I can't believe you're mine sugar, but I'm so grateful. I love you. " he whispers before he closes the door.

The end for now... 🤗💞

AN after reading: I hope you liked this new part! 💗 I hope I didn't do too bad with the dirty talk and teasing.. 🙈💞

Lil update on pt four and Memphis: The next part will be birthdayyyy dayyyy!! 🎉🤗 I'm going to start working on it tomorrow, but no promises it will be done in normal time for me, lol. I want to get the part going a little but I want to get Memphis going up again. So it will be more priority this week. 🤗💞 I'm thinking part four will be up in about two weeks, sometime after Memphis 4 comes out next week. So be on the look out for both! 💗

Tags: @heythere-mel @supernaturalgirl20 @stxrrylunatic @prolix-yuy

If you would like to be added or removed from the list just shoot me an ask or DM! 🤗💗

[maria-scribbles]

loyalty’s all i got | part one

summary: three years ago, you had it all: great friends, good grades, and an almost perfect relationship with your boyfriend, jj. it all came crashing down when your mom relocated your family to california for work and you were forced to trade the outer banks for malibu, leaving your broken heart behind in the place you were just starting to think of as home. now you're back in town for college and to pick up the pieces, hoping to make things right again with your friends and the boy you never stopped loving.

word count: 8.9k+ i'm legit incapable of writing something short 😅

ship: jj maybank x female!reader, pogue friendship

warnings: mentions of child abuse, non-graphic injuries, weed, swearing, underage drinking, learning to be vulnerable, trust issues, first love, jj getting the love and affection he deserves, underage sex (nothing too descriptive but it gets a lil spicy, just fyi), teenage heartbreak, failed long distance relationship, angst with a happy ending, references to some taylor swift songs 'cause she's a queen.

a/n: got a lil plot bunny that wouldn't leave me alone so here we are lol. title and inspiration for this fic comes from train's song "rescue dog" that gave me 'jj x reader where they're both damaged goods' vibes the second i heard it. this is semi canon-compliant as the treasure hunt never happened but big john is still alive and kie and sarah still work out their issues and become friends again. i used the names daisy, daniel, deke, and mack as a tribute to agents of shield, one of my favorite shows that had just had its series finale (and i'm still an emotional mess). enjoy and keep an eye out for part two, coming soon!

~masterlist~

part one: when our love was young and easy

For you, having a traveling nurse as a mom was both a blessing and a curse. When you were a kid, you loved bouncing around the country to a new town every so often and finding new places to explore with your rebellious big sister. Back then, she was all you needed to be happy: you'd go anywhere and everywhere as long as Daisy, your best friend, was by your side. 

As you both grew older and started school, you slowly realized that packing up your life every few years sucked. Yeah, seeing new places was cool and all but the novelty wore off fast when you found yourself making friends with your classmates, kids who weren't your sister for once, only to lose touch whenever you moved again. You felt like a ghost, haunting a new school for a while and then leaving behind nothing but a memory, one that gradually faded over time until it was gone, as if you never existed at all. You wondered if anyone actually remembered you. 

It was hard. You gradually became more sullen and withdrawn, finding it more and more difficult to make friends when you knew they wouldn't last, while Daisy acted out even worse than usual and ended up being grounded almost every week. It took her getting arrested while graffitiing the school gym on New Year's Eve for your father - a bit clueless about being a stay-at-home dad to two girls but he tried his best- to put his foot down and tell his wife enough was enough. 

"Our kids need stability, Rebekah. They need a chance to make real friends and stay in one place for longer than two or three years. They need a home."

Thankfully by some miracle, your mother agreed and promised the next move would be the last until you graduated high school. You wanted to believe her so badly but you weren't sure if you could as you packed up your life once again and headed down south from Rhode Island.

That's how you ended up in the Outer Banks of North Carolina, finishing eighth grade at some fancy ass academy that you weren't sure your parents could afford. Daisy, a sophomore, seemed to have no problem fitting in on the north side of the island when she landed a job as a lifeguard at the country club and made fast friends with the rich kids that frequented the pool. It stung a bit when she eventually started ditching you for them (and some older boy named Kelce; you knew she'd snag a boyfriend eventually but you didn't realize it'd be so fast and with someone so...douchey) but you tried not to let it bother you too much, as you were okay getting by on your own and honest-to-God happy for your sister. Making friends was a scary thought when you remembered all the kids you've had to leave behind over the years, all the friendships that crumbled into dust in the wind so you tried to stay at arm's length from your classmates and told yourself you were just fine the way you were. 

The loneliness was hard to ignore though, and you soon found yourself slowly, reluctantly becoming friends with a girl named Kiara that sat beside you in algebra after she helped you cram for a test you completely forgot about, even as warning bells rang loud in your mind. It wasn't long before you started sitting with her and her friend Sarah at lunch, which led to being invited to the beach and the movies and sleepovers and just like that, you remembered what friendship felt like. For the first time, you felt like a normal teenager with a best friend that wasn't your sister and although you liked Sarah, Kiara was the one you were closest to, especially when you found out she hated the kook academy as much as you did.

"Fuck it," She said at one of your sleepovers, sitting on the floor at the end of your bed and rifling through your box of movies. "I'm done with acting like something I'm not, I'm done with being fake, and I'm done with rich kid politics." She tossed Legally Blonde in your direction and then joined you in leaning against the headboard as you slipped the DVD into your laptop.

"Yeah, this whole kook thing kind of sucks." You replied, tapping through the previews to the main menu. "That's why I don't give a shit."

"And that's why I'm so happy you're my friend, Y/N," Kiara said. "You're just yourself and don't try to change for anybody. It's cool."

Cursor hovering over the play button, you paused and glanced over at the other girl. "I'm happy you're my friend, too. I...I only really had my sister growing up so just...thanks, I guess. For being here."

Kiara pulled you into a fierce hug after your impromptu confession and you hugged her back, understanding for the first time what true friendship looked like. 

More kids get added to your posse -three boys named John B, JJ, and Pope- after a catastrophic falling out with Sarah over her fiasco of a birthday party and from the very first time you met them, you realized the south side of the island was where you belonged. The pogues were unabashedly, unapologetically real and you felt the freest you'd ever been when you were hanging out with them and from the way Kiara seemed so much happier, you knew she felt the same way. Those kooks and their status quo could suck it.

You vowed you wouldn't let yourself get too attached to your new friends (cohorts, as your dad jokingly called them), lest you get your heart broken when your mom inevitably moved on to the next job in a year or two; despite her promise, you just had a feeling that it wouldn't last and wished you weren't always waiting for that other shoe to drop. You didn't plan on them becoming your second family and you definitely didn't plan on falling in love for the first time, but life always found new ways to surprise you. 

You were fourteen when you started to notice that one of your friends was cute as fuck. To be honest, you thought all of your friends were pretty cute but there was something about JJ that made you flustered beyond belief every time he crossed your mind. You found yourself more than a little fixated on his golden hair, his bright blue eyes, and the way you always felt at your happiest when he was around; he lived like a wild, out of control hurricane and you wanted to get swept up in the eye of his storm, despite your brain telling you not to.

You never had crushes before, always too busy anticipating worrying about your family's next move to really look at anyone like that but you were definitely looking now while you tried to balance on JJ's surfboard in the gently bobbing waves, your trembling hands planted firmly on his -bare, tan, strong- shoulders as he held it steady.

"Lookin' good, Y/N," He looked up at you with a proud grin before glancing back down at your stance. "Just bend your knees a little more and you'll be perfect."

His praise, along with his calloused palms carefully adjusting your legs made your face feel hot and you shifted on the board to correct your balance, slowly raising your arms until you were standing, albeit a little wobbly, mostly on your own. 

"Holy shit!" You yelled, the smile on your face growing more ecstatic at the encouraging cheers of your friends as they watched from the beach twenty feet away. "I'm doing it! I'm actually doing it!"

"Almost," JJ gave you another one of his killer smiles, the ones that you quickly found out made breathing normally quite the challenge, then let go of your knees to give the board a solid push forward. "Now you are!"

Frantically, you recalled everything he taught you that afternoon and managed to make it halfway to shore before you lost your balance and fell into the surf with a giddy laugh. "Guess I need a little more practice," You giggled as he splashed his way over and offered you a hand, a teasing glint in his blue eyes. 

"Just a little?"

You flicked some water at him for that and your laugh grew when he wrapped you up in his arms and spun you around before flinging you both into the waves. The others immediately ran to join you and an all out war broke out, everyone splashing each other with no holds barred.  

When he casually suggested giving you another lesson the next day as you all laid on the sand to catch your breath, you were unable to say no and the soft, dimpled smile on his face made your heart skip a beat in a way you'd never felt before. For the first time, you told the warning bells in your head to just shut the fuck up and allowed yourself to think about the future, to dream about what you could become and where you could be in two, five, even ten years. You let yourself have hope.

The next morning, you put on your favorite bikini -the green high waisted one that made your butt look good- and caught a ride with Daisy and Kelce to the beach, ignoring the teasing looks and jabs your sister sent your way and the sly smirk on her boyfriend's face. 

"Hey, Juliet, looks like your Romeo's already waiting for you." 

You rolled your eyes and hopped out of Kelce's Range Rover, flipping them both the bird behind your back without a second glance. As they drove away, their laughter followed you to where JJ was indeed waiting by the walkway to the shore, surfboard under his arm, and his face broke out into a wide grin when he laid eyes on you, one that you couldn't help returning.

"Sorry I'm late, my sister was being a bitch."

He laughed at that and reached out to take your hand, sending warm tingles through your whole body. "I was kinda worried you forgot about me, Y/N."

In a sudden burst of courage you didn't know you had, you laced your fingers with his and started pulling him toward the water as you sent him a wink over your shoulder. "I would never."

You started your lesson on the sand, reviewing how to stand up and balance on the board, before moving to the ocean. You catch your first waves on your stomach to get used to the movement and when you get comfortable with that you move to your knees and then your feet; each time JJ was there to catch you when you inevitably bit it, hugging you close to his bare chest and speaking enthusiastic words of encouragement in your ear, and with every passing try you became more and more confident until you finally nailed a small wave from beginning to end without falling on your ass. 

"I did it!" In a flash, you jumped off the board and into his arms, your mouth curving into a joyful grin when he spun you in circles like yesterday with your own arms locked tight around his neck.

"Hell yeah you did!" The proud smile on his face made your stomach do a little flip and so did the way he held you close, his hands hooked under your thighs. "You're gonna be a pro in no time."

"Well," You said, twirling your fingers in the fine blond hair at his nape and hoping you didn't just imagine the shiver that ran down his spine. "I do have a great teacher."

His pretty blue eyes locked onto yours and you couldn't look away even if you wanted to (which you absolutely didn't). You'd been reading about moments like that ever since you were a kid, alone in your room with nothing better to do than drown yourself in overly sappy fanfiction until 2 AM, so you knew all about the magnetism, the butterflies, the invisible string tying two lovers together by fate, but it was just a fantasy, a pipe dream, something to yearn for when the loneliness became too much. Never in a million years did you imagine you would ever feel like that.

And yet you did. You felt it in your whole body, coursing through your veins like liquid fire, and when JJ started to lean in, you didn't hesitate to meet him halfway. It wasn't your first kiss -that happened two years ago when you were still living in Rhode Island, during a rare party you actually got invited to and with a pretty girl in your class- but it was the first that set every single one of your nerves alight. He held you tighter against him as your hands moved to cup his face, letting him deepen the kiss with a tilt of his head and the soft swipe of his tongue against your lips. You never thought you'd find yourself in the middle of a make out session in broad daylight and in full view of everyone on the beach but there you were, not giving a single shit about who was watching. All you cared about was memorizing every detail about the way he kissed you, the feel of his mouth on yours and the heat of his palms against your thighs, the rough touch of drying saltwater on his skin under your thumbs and that little noise he made low in his throat when you wrapped your legs tighter around his waist. You could've kissed him for hours (holy shit did you want to do that) and never run out of new idiosyncrasies to notice.

You pulled back some glorious time later with a breathless smile and swollen lips, heart racing against your ribcage and forehead pressed to JJ's as he smiled back, an endearing pink flushed across his face. 

"I've wanted to do that for a while." His quiet admission made the butterflies in your stomach go haywire and you leaned down to kiss him once again, no longer able to deny yourself the happiness you longed for for years now that you'd had a taste; he returned the kiss and you laughed against his mouth as he spun you around before gently setting you on your feet in the surf, his forgotten board -thankfully still tethered to your ankle- bumping into your legs with every wave.

"Me, too." 

"Good." He shot you a smile that make you weak in the knees and tucked a wayward strand of hair behind your ear, then it was his turn to lean down to press his lips to yours.

After that day, life was practically a dream. You had the greatest friends you could've asked for, your family was the happiest you'd ever seen them, and you had a boyfriend. A loyal, affectionate, chaotic boyfriend who somehow managed to keep you on your toes while being your guiding light all at once and you wondered how you got so lucky that a boy as wonderful as JJ wanted little old you, with all of your insecurities and shattered edges and tendencies to push people away when they got too close.

You told him that one day as you laid together on your bed, sharing lazy kisses in the warm late-summer sun streaming in through your window while Fleetwood Mac played quietly from your phone resting on the nightstand. Fall was in the air and with it came cool breezes and that nagging fear in the back of your mind that screamed none of it would last. It was the first time you cried in front of him -in front of anyone other than your sister- and he held you tight to his chest, hand running soothingly over your back as you let everything out in one massive, embarrassing flood of years of pent-up emotions. 

Another thing your boyfriend was good at, you found out, was comfort. He didn't say anything as he hugged you close but he didn't need to, the fact that he was simply there and listening was all you needed from him. You spent your whole life living in the shadows until then, when he made you feel seen, heard, and important, validated, all without saying a single word and after your tears had run dry and you pulled your face away from his damp shirt, you killed that urge to flee and buried it so deep you hoped you'd never find it again. 

That day, you poured out your heart for the first time to a person you knew in your very bones you could trust and received nothing but unconditional acceptance in return. JJ took you as you were, flaws and metaphorical scars, dark secrets and past mistakes, and you weren't quite fifteen yet but you wondered if that spark you felt in your blood when he kissed you was love.

It was less than a week later when he showed up at your door late at night, bruised and bloody, and the thrill of a clandestine meeting in your room faded the second you saw the small, pained smile he sent your way. Daisy, swapping roles with you for once, distracted your parents so you could sneak him upstairs like she did with Kelce practically every week and only when you were both safely hidden away in your room did you speak, keeping your voice as soft as your touch against his bruised cheek. "What happened?"

You cried in front of him for the second time when he finally answered, after you cleaned him up with the first aid kit your mom always kept under your bathroom sink and helped him change into some of your dad's old clothes your sister swiped from the laundry room ("if you need anything, just text me, 'k?" she said and you sent her a grateful smile before she left, quietly shutting the door behind her.). JJ was your echo as he spilled all his secrets, too, bringing his demons out of the deep blue darkness and into your golden daylight where they slowly burned to ash, little by little. You held him close, your legs tangled together and his head pillowed on your chest, and you ran your fingers through his hair over and over until he talked himself hoarse and his hands loosened their white-knuckled grip on your sweatshirt. 

Words had never been your strong suit so you let your actions speak for you and gently wiped the tears from his cheeks with your thumbs, leaning down to press your lips to his forehead, then his closed eyelids, his nose, all over his face until there was no inch you hadn't kissed other than his mouth; you saved that for last, letting each delicate touch linger against his slightly chapped lips like bright beacons of light guiding him through a storm in hopes that he'll make it to shore.

"You'll always be safe with me." 

You whispered it into his hair sometime later, through swollen lips that hurt in the best possible way and you felt his slow smile into the curve of your neck, his reply coming in the form of a soft and feather-light kiss against your heated skin. You fell asleep that night with your boyfriend wrapped up in your arms, safe and warm and far away from the father who hurt him in more ways than one. 

Your parents, on the other hand, loved JJ so much to the point you thought they'd adopt him if they could, especially your dad. They were constantly inviting him over for dinner, fishing trips, movie nights: you name it, your parents wanted him there, and you were pretty sure he was spending even more time at your place than at John B's. He won the 'favorite boyfriend' category by default because Kelce barely made the 'tolerated' list, much to your and Daisy's amusement. 

Despite that fact though, you still snuck JJ out your window that morning to meet him at the front door just as your mother was leaving for her shift at the hospital. Rebekah greeted him with her customary hug before touching his bruised cheek with a gentle hand and concern in her eyes.  

"What happened, hon?" 

He shrugged, expertly bullshitting some excuse about defending your honor when one of Kelce's friends started going off about how good your ass looked and it instantly appeased your dad, who reached over to clap your boyfriend on the shoulder.

"Good job, kid." Bill said with a pleased grin, then kissed his wife goodbye and headed back down the hall toward the living room. "Hear that, Daisy? Your boy needs to get better friends!"

"Dad!"

"Even better, just get a better boy in general!"

As your father and sister squabbled, your mother pulled you both into another fierce hug and whispered "You always have a place here," before she headed out the door; JJ looked a bit stunned at Rebekah's words and you reached over to give his hand a gentle squeeze, smiling softly when he slowly did it back.

Your parents weren't stupid. They knew your boyfriend didn't come from the best of homes but they loved him anyway, showering him in ordinary, everyday affection they knew he rarely got. You noticed it more and more as the months passed: your dad always asking him for help fixing Daisy's clunker of a car when it broke down and both would come inside with grease-stained hands and easy smiles, your mom keeping all the first aid kits fully stocked and hugging him a little tighter when he looked a little worse for wear, both of them making sure he was fed and safe and cared for like he deserved. Even Daisy had a penchant for leaving snacks on your bed like some sort of food fairy and offering to give rides to the beach or the Chateau, especially after she finally dumped Kelce and had, as she said, 'nothing better to do.'

And you? You fell harder each passing day, each moment you spent with him, each kiss that made your veins hum with white hot lightning. Of course, your friends teased you mercilessly but neither of you really minded, knowing that each joke was born pure joy at seeing you both together and happy (though you never missed an opportunity to be extra affectionate in front of everyone as revenge.). JJ continued to teach you how to surf until you could hold your own with the rest of the pogues and when you turned fifteen in late spring, they gave you the surprise of your life in the form of your very own board.

You stared in shock at the sea foam green board propped in the sand beside your friends,' gaping like a fish out of water as they all screamed "happy birthday, Y/N!" at the top of their lungs.

"You...you guys -are you for real?" You reached out to run your fingers over the smooth epoxy surface, the mounting pressure behind your eyes becoming harder and harder to ignore when you caught sight of your friends' identical bright grins. What did you do to deserve them?

"We figured it was time you had your own board instead of that shitty hand me down," John B said, ruffling your hair with brotherly affection that made your heart feel full. Pope nodded enthusiastically and added, "You're gonna improve so much with this -not that you weren't already, I mean!"

"She's already good 'cause she has me for a teacher," JJ said with an overexaggerated wink as he pulled you closer and planted a kiss on your cheek. "Taught her everything she knows."

"Oh, please, you just wanted to mack-"

"Taught her how to make out-"

"What they all mean to say, Y/N," Kiara interrupted, sending the boys a pointed look, then gave your shoulder a quick squeeze, "is that we love you. That word won't kill you guys to say, you know."

"I-I love you guys, too. All of you." You admitted thickly, hastily wiping away the tears you just realized were slipping down your face. It didn't scare you to say it. You didn't feel the urge to run or pretend you didn't care for them as much as they cared for you 'cause you loved your friends like you loved your sister, your parents, and the thought filled you with joy instead of terror. "I don't know how to thank you."

You suddenly found yourself in the middle of a colossal group hug, laughing and crying at the same time as four pairs of arms all tried to wrap around you at once.  "How about you start by getting out there and showing us what you're made of?" John B said with a nod toward the ocean and you wiggled your way out of the tangle of limbs, darting forward to pull your new board from the sand.  

"Come on, slowpokes," You called over your shoulder as you jogged toward the water, "You aren't gonna let the newbie have all the fun, right?"

The water was a bit too chilly for surfing but the five of you dove in anyway and you grinned so hard you were sure your face would split in two when you nailed your first wave to the rest of the pogues' cheers. You all surfed until the cold was too much to bear before packing up and heading back to your house, where you spent the rest of your birthday surrounded by all of the people you'd ever loved, making s'mores around the campfire in your backyard. 

"I meant what I said earlier." You blurted when JJ was the only one around to hear it, the others already headed inside for the night. The two of you laid together on a blanket beside the dying fire as you stared up at the stars and when you spoke, he tore his gaze from the sky to focus on you, one eyebrow raised in the cutest confused expression you'd ever seen.

"Meant what?"

Maybe it was the look in those pretty blue eyes of his or the feel of his fingers running through your hair or your brain remembering every single moment you'd ever shared with him all at once but something screamed at you to say those words, the ones you'd been thinking about saying to his face for a long time. Though you'd already said them earlier, this time was different -so, so different- and you took a deep breath, fighting away the nerves that made your hand tremble as you cupped his face and ran your thumb over his cheekbone.

"I love you."

The funny thing about words: once they're out in the air, there's no taking them back. These words, though? You never wanted to take them back. Ever. 

"I love you, too."

It wasn't like the movies. Fireworks didn't go off, the world didn't stop spinning on its axis, nothing magically clicked into place, but you did feel the most wonderful warmth you could ever imagine slowly sinking into your bones when he said it back, the soft smile on his flushed face snatching the very breath from your lungs. He loved you. You loved him. It was simple, uncomplicated, effortless and you smiled into his kiss with the moon and stars as your witnesses. 

Summer came again, setting you and Kiara free from the hell known as the kook academy and its rich kid hierarchy and the two of you ran wild -from sunrise to sunset- with your boys at your sides, like birds escaping their cages or horses let loose in the grasslands, untamed and thirsty for adventure. It had only just begun and yet you already knew it was the best summer of your life. 

Your dad, a man able to make friends with a rock, struck up a camaraderie with Sarah's father of all people during a deep sea fishing trip and snagged five invitations to some fancy party called Midsummers. 

Kiara nearly had a coronary when you shared the news, her face lighting up like a kid on Christmas morning. "Oh, thank God!" She breathed, sitting up on her towel and pushing her sunglasses up onto her forehead. "Maybe I'll actually have a good time for once."

The two of you were relaxing on the beach, taking a break while the boys surfed and you turned away from admiring your boyfriend's bare back to look her in the eye. "So what you're saying is-"

"-it fucking sucks. Just..." She sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. "a bunch of bourgeoise pigs throwing a party to stroke their overinflated egos."

You groaned and flopped back onto your towel, throwing your arm over your eyes. "Great, a night of rich people being rich people."

Kiara laughed and reached over to grab a bottle of water from the cooler. "You have no idea."

Despite her misgivings, the party wasn't as bad as you thought it would be. Sure, the general stench of opulence and wasted money -so much wasted money- was overbearing and quite frankly disgusting but you did your best to ignore it, focusing instead on having a great time with two of your best friends, making fun of the kooks and sneaking liquor when the adults weren't looking. One of those friends happened to be your boyfriend and you found it very, very hard to keep your eyes off him in that suit of his, with his hair slicked back in just the right way that made your knees weak; JJ couldn't stop staring at you either and you'd lost count of how many times you glanced over to find him already looking at you, something you'd never seen before behind his gaze. You wanted -needed- to find out what it was and you were hoping you would tonight, even if you didn't exactly know how. 

"Why don't you two take a picture? It'll last longer." Kiara said sarcastically and you flicked your eyes down to your lap, smoothing a non-existent wrinkle in your deep green dress to hide your embarrassment. What was it about that damn suit that made you feel so flustered?

"You know me, Kie," JJ replied, grabbing your hand and tugging you toward the dance floor. "I like to live in the moment." He grinned down at you and you couldn't help smiling back, giggling as he twirled you under his arm before pulling you close, resting his other hand low on your back.

"I didn't know you were such a good dancer," You said, letting him lead you in a simple waltz across the cool grass. 

"Well, I'm not but I might've spent the last week practicing with your sister while Kie distracted you." He admitted casually, shooting a thumbs up over your shoulder and you turned to find Daisy grinning in your direction as she swayed with some guy (Daniel, you thought, or maybe Deke? You weren't sure.) you'd seen hanging around the pool a few times. 'You're welcome,' She mouthed before spinning under her partner's arm, her wine-colored dress fanning out around her legs and you smiled wider, twirling back into your boyfriend's embrace and surging up onto your tiptoes to press your lips to his.

He dipped you low as he returned your kiss, grinning against your mouth when you flung your arms around his neck in surprise, your fingers holding tight to the collar of his suit jacket. "You did all that for me?" You asked once your feet were firmly back on the ground and your heart skipped a beat as his hands brushed the skin exposed by the low-cut back of your dress. 

"Anything for you, Y/N." 

Later, after dancing until your shoes started to dig uncomfortably into your toes, the two of you snuck down to the beach, your heels in your hands and two stolen drinks in JJ's. You felt a bit guilty ditching Kiara but from the wink she sent your way as you passed by, you were pretty sure she didn't really mind. The sand was cool on your legs through the thin layers of your skirt and yet you felt nothing but warm, both from his arm around your shoulders and the alcohol burning down your throat.

"Shit," You coughed, regretting following your boyfriend's example by knocking the whole thing back at once and playfully jabbing your elbow in his side when he outright laughed at your struggle. "I'm not used to drinking straight...whatever this is." 

"It's bourbon, babe." He took the glass from your hand and set it aside before tucking you closer against him to ward off the slight chill of the mellow ocean breeze. "Don't worry, I still love you even if you can't take shots."

"Ha ha. Love you, too, you jerk." You rested your head on his shoulder after they stopped shaking with laughter, perfectly happy to sit in silence together and watch the waves crash against the shore. A pleasant tingle flooded through your body after the bourbon finally stopped burning and you realized you liked the feeling, even if it paled in comparison to the high you reached when he kissed you, when he ran his hand through your hair, when he made it crystal clear you were loved. 

"Hey, Y/N?"

JJ's voice pulled you out of your thoughts and you shifted your head to look up at him, hooking one of your ankles around his. "Yeah?"

"Gimme your hand."

You obliged, your confusion slowly melting away into something more closely resembling pure, unadulterated affection as he tied a bracelet around your wrist. And not just any bracelet, you noticed when you brought it closer to your face to examine it in the dim, distant light of the party: this one was obviously, beautifully handmade, woven with threads in shades of green, blue, and tan and tied off with two green beads on each end. You ran your thumb over a spot where the intricate motif was just a little messed up and smiled when JJ looked embarrassed, the tips of his ears turning red.

"Yeah, sorry about that, I was in a hurry and fucked up the pattern," He confessed sheepishly, spinning a similar bracelet around his own wrist. "I was gonna give it to you on your birthday but I kind of underestimated how long it took to make-"

"It's perfect." You interrupted, tackling him onto the sand with your arms around his neck as you pressed a quick kiss to the corner of his mouth, leaving a bright red lipstick mark behind. "I love it. I love you."

The smile he sent you was one of unabashed relief and he slid his fingers into your hair to pull you down for another kiss. "I love you, too."

For awhile after that, you let your lips do the talking in a different way and you made out on the beach for -surprisingly- only the second time until you rolled onto your back and accidentally got a little sand in your underwear (he laughed at that but you immediately got your revenge by stuffing a handful down the front of his shirt). You snuck back to the party hand in hand to drop off the forgotten glasses and wave a quick goodbye to Kiara, who just smirked at your smudged lipstick and the golden crown of leaves sitting crooked on your head, before walking toward your house a mile down the road. Well, JJ walked, you hitched a ride on his back when he wouldn't take no for an answer.

"Babe, your feet hurt and you have sand in your ass. No way in hell I'm letting you walk."

You just smiled against his shoulder and let him carry you the rest of the way to your house and then even up the stairs to your room as you fired off a text to Daisy letting her know where you disappeared to. She sent 'check your dresser, thank me later' with a winking emoji back and you felt your face get hot when you caught sight of the small box tucked into the corner of the drawer, quickly placing the phone facedown on your bedside table before tossing your shoes onto the floor by your closet and carefully pulling the crown from your messy hair.

"Thanks for the ride, my feet and ass are in your debt."

"Let's make out again and I'll consider that debt paid."

You laughed but gave in 'cause hell, you really wanted to keep making out, too. You pushed JJ backwards until his knees hit your bed and you ended up on his lap, your hands pushing the suit jacket off his shoulders as you leaned down to kiss him. He slid the pins from your hair one by one until it fell around your face and he tangled his fingers in it, pulling your head back so he could trail his lips down the sensitive skin of your neck and you gasped, pausing in the middle of trying to undo the bowtie around his neck.

Something shifted in the air then and you knew that once you took that next step, there'd be no turning back but you were ready to meet it head on as you finished with his tie and tossed it behind you, then started on the buttons of his shirt. That look from earlier was in his eyes again and you nodded, smiling in anticipation when you finally understood what it meant and he languidly slipped one of the straps of your dress off your shoulder. 

You bared your body like you bared your soul and soon there was no part of you that he didn't know. You learned every part of him, too and together you brought each other to a high you'd never felt before. It wasn't perfect, of course, but it was perfect to you: every awkward, beautiful touch, when you breathed his name like that for the first time, the way your hands clutched his hair like a lifeline. You were burning up from the inside out, every single nerve on fire and blazing brilliantly under your heated skin and you'd never felt more alive when you came undone in his arms.

In the afterglow, you laid wrapped up together like the woven bracelets you both wore, JJ's fingers steadily tracing the curve of your bare hip as yours soothed the darkening red mark you'd left behind on his neck. The fairy lights strung above your bed cast soft, welcoming shadows all around, highlighting that wonderful look in his eyes, open and awed and oh so loving and you knew your gaze held the same.

"I'm, I-" He started, then shook his head and leaned down to place a lingering kiss on your cheek. "I just -shit."

"Whoa, you're speechless," You teased, sweeping a wayward strand of sweaty blond hair away from his forehead. "Guess I really blew your mind, huh?"

"Fucking fried it." He shook his head again with the dopiest, dreamiest smile you'd ever seen and you giggled as he pulled you closer, calloused palm flat against the small of your back. "I'm so fucking in love with you. Straight up head over heels, babe." 

You smiled even wider at his words and how they ignited that flame burning inside you once again. "Good thing I'm fucking head over heels, hopelessly in love with you, too." You replied and pushed him back onto the bed, swinging a leg over his thighs so you were the one on top this time. "And I'm gonna blow your damn mind again."

You weren't sure what you expected life to be like after you had sex for the first time. You'd always heard it was this momentous occasion, that you'd suddenly feel like a real woman or whatever stupid label society came up with to further control girls and their sexuality but honestly, you still felt like the same person. All those rom-coms and their jokes about having that look after getting laid were total and complete bullshit, you realized; to you, sex was just a different, more intimate way to show your love and you just happened to like showing it often (and luckily JJ did, too). You flaunted it in other ways, too, his bandanas tied in your hair and shirts in your closet, your necklaces resting against his collarbone and bracelets you learned to make around his wrists, but there was nothing like the marks you left on each other's skin -necks, inner arms, hipbones- when you were alone together in the dark.

Life went on. Months flew by and things were nearly perfect for you: great friends, good grades, a wonderful relationship with your loving boyfriend. The girl of your past, the one who kept to herself and avoided anything that had to do with being vulnerable like the plague was dead and gone and in her place was the person you always wanted to be. You were happy -ridiculously, deliriously happy- sixteen and so in love with the life you built that you'd almost forgotten about your mom's tendency to relocate your family every few years; that nagging thought was still in the back of your mind but you refused to let it control your life with fear of losing everything -everyone- you'd come to love.

But you knew how the saying went: the bigger you are, the harder you fall.

The higher you climb on an unstable mountain, the more it hurts when it inevitably crumbles beneath you. 

Your mountain didn't just crumble: it was violently torn apart, ripped into pieces by a devastating earthquake, a destructive landslide caused by the one person who promised she wouldn't hurt you anymore but the catalyst that unintentionally set it in motion came from someone you never expected: your sister.

Daisy graduated from the kook academy and got accepted into her dream school, UCLA, alongside her boyfriend Daniel (see, you knew his name wasn't Deke) but you didn't think too much of it. After all, you knew that day would come eventually, the day your big sister would head off to college and leave you, her shadow, behind but the thought didn't fill you with dread like it used to. You had friends, a found family to soothe the inescapable sting of the Daisy-shaped hole in your heart and keep your spirits high when she hopped on that plane to California in the fall.

You still had the summer though and you made it count, days spent with your friends and nights spent with your sister, doing all the things you used to do together when you were little; watching movies, playing games, making a total mess in the kitchen when you baked batches and batches of cookies that had both your boyfriend and hers always hanging around like dogs begging for scraps. You and Daisy started putting them to work the second they ate two dozen snickerdoodles by themselves (Daniel was an excellent cook while JJ was a total disaster) and those nights always ended with the four of you squished together on the couch, wrapped in blankets and cookies and warmth while a scary movie played on in the background. 

The day before Daisy left for LA, you met your parents and sister at The Wreck for what you thought would be your last family dinner until Thanksgiving break but it turned out you were the only one who believed that. You should've known something was wrong the second your dad didn't even make a joke about your friends dropping you off in John B's rust bucket of a van or when JJ pulled you back in for a kiss that was just a little bit too risque for the public eye (You'd laughed when John B and Pope both pretended to gag and just kissed him harder, not giving a single shit about who saw, even your parents.). You should've known when your mother's smile was a little strained or when your sister wouldn't meet your eyes. You should've known but you stupidly didn't see the signs and that made Rebekah's words so much harder to swallow.

"We're moving to California."

You dropped the loaded nacho in your hand back onto your plate as you stared at her, gaping like a fish. "E-Excuse me but what the actual fuck?"

"Language, Y/N." 

"I don't give a shit about my language, Mom, I give a shit about the fact that you broke your promise!" You hissed, roughly pushing your plate away and almost knocking your glass of water over. 

"Sweetheart-"

"You promised." 

Your mother winced at the tightness of your voice and how you snatched your clenched fist out from under her hand. "I know, dear, but I couldn't pass on this offer and I know how much you're going to miss your sister-"

"Yeah, I'll miss Daisy but I don't want to move across the country just to be near her! God, let her be her own person for once!"

"Y/N-"

"And what about me, huh? I'm happy here! This is my home! I have friends, a boyfriend -I'm not leaving!"

"Honey, I understand you're upset-"

"Do you?" You interrupted your dad with a bitter laugh, fighting the tears you felt pricking at your eyes. "Do you understand what you're forcing me to lose?"

Bill looked away as Kiara arrived with your food and set the plates down in awkward silence. You gave her a tight smile when she quickly patted your back and then returned to the kitchen, sending you a concerned glance over her shoulder before she disappeared through the double doors and you turned to face Daisy. 

"Day, did you know?" Your sister avoiding your sudden, sharp gaze was all the answer you needed and your heart dropped like an anchor, weighing heavy on your stomach. You felt sick. You felt furious. But most of all, you felt betrayed.  

Suddenly, the sight of your favorite meal in front of you wasn't so appetizing anymore and you abruptly stood, your chair scraping roughly against the floor. Heads turned to look in your direction but you ignored their curious stares as you snarled with all the venom you could muster across the table at your mother, "I knew I never should've trusted a word you said."

You turned away from her hurt expression -the sheer audacity she had, acting like she was the one whose heart was shattering- and ran out the front door of The Wreck before anyone could stop you, pretending not to hear their voices calling after your retreating back. You didn't know where your feet were taking you but you really didn't care, just as long as it was far, far away from your family.

You ran until your aching legs forced you to stop and you doubled over, hands on your thighs as you tried to catch your breath and it wasn't until you saw the water dripping onto the sidewalk beneath you did you realize you were crying. Footsteps slowed to a stop beside you and your braced yourself to hear Daisy's apology or worse, your mother's, but got Kiara's winded voice instead.

"Did you ever think about doing cross country? 'Cause holy shit," She gasped with her hands on her hips. "You can run." 

Despite feeling like your whole fucking world was falling apart around you, you still managed a snort of laughter at your friend's remark and eagerly returned her embrace when she wrapped her arms around your shoulders, burying your face against her neck. She held you as you cried, running a soothing hand up and down your back until the rest of your friends pulled up in the Volkswagen and you found yourself crying on a different shoulder, one you knew better than your own. 

The white hot fury had left your body and now all you felt was numb. Numb and empty and hollow as you quietly explained everything on the ride back to the Chateau, avoiding your friends' sympathetic stares by playing with a loose thread at the bottom of JJ's shirt. He ran a hand through your hair while you leaned against him and you let his touch slowly bleed life back into your heart. 

"You're not leaving, okay? My parents love you so you can stay with me." Kiara declared later as you all lounged around the bonfire, passing a joint back and forth.

"Or me. My dad would probably let you stay if you helped out around the shop," Pope piped up, handing it over to you without taking a drag as John B added, "Me, too. We have an extra room."

"Tijuana's always nice, too, babe." JJ suggested, grabbing your hand holding the joint and bringing it to his mouth so he could take a hit. "Just a thought."

You smiled softly and took your own hit, slowly blowing smoke into the air. "You guys are the best. I doubt my parents'll change their minds...but I guess it wouldn't hurt to try." It would definitely hurt if your desperate bid to stay didn't work but you tried not to think about that and focused instead on having a good time with your friends, forgetting all about your phone that was switched to silent and burning a hole in your purse. 

Later, after the others headed inside for the night and it was just you and JJ left, you were reminded of your fifteenth birthday. You'd laid like you were now, on a blanket under the stars beside a dying fire and you told him you loved him for the first time and as much as it tore you apart to know it might all come to an end, you didn't regret it. You didn't regret befriending Kiara back in eighth grade or letting the pogues become so important to you or falling so hard for the boy holding you in his arms. And right then, all you wanted to do was hold onto that feeling by showing him your love and getting loved in return. 

You propped yourself up on your elbow and leaned down to kiss him, your other hand slipping under his shirt in the flickering glow of the flames and you smiled against his lips when he immediately rolled onto his back so you were on top, his hand doing some exploring of its own under your sundress.  

"I don't want to feel anything but you tonight." You answered the question in his eyes when you broke apart some time later, both breathing heavily with your skirt hitched up over your thighs and his shirt tossed somewhere on the grass behind you. "Please."

"Here?"

You'd never fucked outside before but you figured now would be the perfect time to try and to be honest, you were too impatient to make it to a bed so you nodded, slowly rolling your hips against his. "Right here."

You lost yourself in the ardent touch of his calloused hands with the haze of smoke hanging in the cool night air, letting everything slip away until he was the only thing that remained. He was all you needed, tan skin slick with sweat and mouth searing hot, your nails trailing scratches down his back while your lips left smudged marks of blood red on his face. He took you higher and higher, doing exactly what you asked him to, over and over until you nearly forgot your own name and when you finally came back down, he held you close until your limbs stopped shaking and your heart slowed back to its normal rhythm.

"I don't want to lose you." You admitted quietly into the dark, wiping at a stubborn lipstick stain on the corner of his mouth and your thumb caught on his lip when JJ shook his head, then leaned down to drop a kiss at your hairline.

"You won't."

You wanted to believe him so badly it hurt but you didn't know if you could so instead you threaded your fingers through his hair and pulled him down to press your mouth to his, his cheek, his jawline, everywhere you could reach, drowning yourself in the right now in hopes that the future would never come. 

"I love you, Y/N. Don't you dare forget it." He whispered it against the shell of your ear before trailing his lips down your neck and the light scrape of his teeth on your skin turned your voice into a breathless sigh as you repeated his words into the air, your back arching from the blanket when he hit a particularly sensitive spot and sent electricity racing through your veins. You may have spoken your love softly but you showed it fiercely, each touch a little harder than the last, each kiss a little rougher and together you burned through the dark like a funeral pyre.

Hope was a dangerous thing to feel; it was fragile and delicate, hard to keep but oh so easy to lose for someone like you, a girl who spent her whole life searching for a home, only to have it ripped away when she finally found it. It didn't matter what you said or how much you cried or even when Kiara and her parents advocated on your behalf, your time on the island was up and just like that, whatever hope you had left disappeared into thin air and left you wondering if you'd ever get it back again.

-

tagging some mutuals who might be interested: @sinkbeneathwaves​ @jiaraendgame​ @sunnypogue​ @alexa-playafricabytoto​ @maybanks​

[lilhawkeye3]

This Ohio discourse has got me dying to create discourse about every other state now hehe so I officially present:

Hawk’s review of 36/50 US states!

In alphabetical order because that fuckin song “50 nifty United States” has been stuck in my head since fourth grade.

Arizona: Phoenix is hot. Can’t believe y’all choose to live in a place that gets haboobs. Saw Sen. John McCain in the airport. I feel that sums up the state well. 4/10

California: as a resident of the state of Oregon, I’m legally required to say fuck California😌 unless anyone else talking shit about Cali and then we got your back😤 SoCal vs San Fran vs Northern Cal are totally different worlds though. 7/10

Colorado: damn idk how y’all breathe there, them air is thin. But really pretty out there! 7/10

Connecticut: oh my god fuck New Haven. And Stamford, and Hartford, and— Yknow what? Let’s just toss the whole state into the Sound. For real, traffic is the WORST here and I’m so sorry that y’all gotta live like that. 3/10

Delaware: I cannot believe this is considered a state. There’s no difference between Delaware and Maryland/Pennsylvania. 1/10 should not be a state

Florida: “the only hills in Florida are the highway ramps and the Matterhorn!” —the shuttle driver at Disney World. He was right. Shit is flat as fuck here. And hot. And humid. The Gulf Coast is nice? But tbh it’s just all very touristy which is kind of a bummer. 5/10

Georgia: ...I can’t with the humidity or thinly veiled racism. But y’all got nice peaches! Also Black Panther filmed there so thank you for blessing us with that. 6/10 for fruits

Hawaii: okay pineapple farms are cool. Tbh I just feel really bad for how much mainlander/tourist bs all the islanders put up with. Ik price of living is v high and keeps going up. That said I did love Hawaii... although I was stung by a jellyfish. Hate those little bastards. 8/10 for wonderful people and nature

Idaho: as an Oregonian I’m required to also say fuck Idaho 😝 you da hoes. Okay for real tho southern Idaho has become v white white and kinda scary tbh. The northern part of the state is pretty chill tho. Also Oreida kettle chips are partly made in Idaho so I gotta give you half credit for that. 4/10

Illinois: at least you’re not Indiana. 4/10.

Indiana: I never want to step foot in Gary, Indiana again in my life. (Passed a Mack truck hauling a race car to Indy 500 though so that was cool.) 2/10

Iowa: I almost moved here. I’m so glad I didn’t. Why are the Quad Cities actually a group of five towns? I hate that. Also the roads were all cement, felt like driving on a sidewalk. Was also interesting because the second we got out of the city proper, it was just... corn fields everywhere. 2/10 y’all raising children of the corn.

Kentucky: I really don’t have anything to say about Kentucky. I thought the trees were pretty? 5/10 yeah idk

Maine: my relative has totaled two cars by hitting moose in Maine. Maine scares me. Or rather, the moose do. Also the lobster roll hype is real. And the coast truly is beautiful. 8/10 but an extra point for the moose bc I hate that relative so 9/10

Maryland: oh god Baltimore. Also I’m blaming you for the DC traffic because it’s on the land you gifted them. 3/10

Massachusetts: Patriots fans are the worst NFL fans (the racism is real, especially after fans burned the jerseys of Black players who knelt for the anthem). Liking Dunkin’ Donuts is not a personality trait. The North End in Boston is truly the best place to get pizza in the entire country. Western Mass is not the same state. And the Cape Cod bridges give me nightmares. 5/10 but cause I had to pay taxes two years and it really is Taxachusetts, knocking it down to 4/10

Michigan: it’s a lot bigger than I initially thought. 5/10

Minnesota: it’s Canada but in the US. Pretty driving through the southern part. Cops suck tho. 5/10

Montana: okay Montana is downright gorgeous. (Except Billings. Sorry, Billings.) I must include a photo. I wanna get a cabin here and just exist. 8/10

New Hampshire: can’t decide if it hates Massachusetts or wants to be Massachusetts. All it knows is that it’s better than Vermont. Which... y’know, valid. (If you wanna see NH culture watch North Woods Law tbh). 4/10

New Jersey: why are there so many goddamn highways in this state? Also there are more places to weekend trip than the Shore or the Poconos. Although you do have people pump gas for you just like Oregon, so... that’s valid. Things my friends have added: Newark airport is cursed (valid), the jughandles are nightmares (true), pork roll/Taylor Ham is good and so are bagels and New Jersey pizza (allergic so idk), and everyone is split on whether the shore is actually decent or not 😂 I give it a 3.5/10 out of spite

New York: NYC is fun, Upstate is MASSIVE but really beautiful. Long Island is... yeah I don’t have anything nice to say about Long Island. 8/10 For NYC, 6/10 for Upstate, -2/10 for Long Island, gives us an average of 6/10

North Carolina: very good peaches. Isn’t South Carolina. Keep it up👍🏽 6/10

Ohio: I already told y’all how I feel about this flat ass boring state. I feel no need to slander it any more lmao. 3/10

Oregon: she flies with her own wings, mi amor🥰 to list all the reasons I like Oregon (and the issues too bc it ain’t perfect), I would need a whole other post. I’ll just leave you with this picture I took of Mt. Hood, the queen of our Cascades. 11/10

Pennsylvania: so apparently PN is three states hiding in a trench coat like NY. There’s upstate, philly and Pittsburg. Personally I think they’re just trying too hard and wanna get the same recognition as NY. Meh. 5/10

Rhode Island: THIS FUCKIN SHAM OF A STATE Just merge it with Connecticut and be done with it!! It’s tiny. Providence sucks. There’s nothing unique about this state that you can’t find in Southern Mass (except MA has cheaper taxes so y’all come to work and shop in MA anyways smh). Also the fingers are really annoying to drive down to get to some beach areas haha. 2/10 you’re barely better than Delaware.

South Carolina: my Black father was invited to a party celebrating General Robert E Lee’s birthday. So... 0/10

South Dakota: very gorgeous, didn’t realize the Missouri River went this far west, but VERY LARGE. I mean it looks big on a map but then you get there and... yeah. No speed limit on highways is a great time though. And the Badlands have mountain goats! 6/10 bc while pretty, living there seems really hard. (Picture is me in the Badlands).

Texas: gave us Juneteenth and Beyoncé and JJ Watts. Thank you Texas. But is very big, got independence from Mexico to keep slavery (yikes), is like 97% private land (yikes) and is like the second or third largest state. Very big. That said, everyone I’ve ever met from Texas is lovely. 6/10.

Utah: Other than Idaho, this is the whitest state I’ve been to. Or it feels that way. Like a, the people crossed to the other side of the street and held their bags because I’m brown, state. And I don’t ski so I can’t even say that’s a good thing (I fell off the ski lift the one time I went, long story). Yeah 0/10.

Vermont: wants to be New Hampshire or Canada and can’t decide which. So it’s just kinda there. Pretty hills though. 3/10

Virginia: let’s be real we all forget that Virginia exists west of Richmond. Nova is a beauracratic and traffic nightmare and half our neighbors had to pass security clearance checks. Hampton Roads and beach area is a tourist and mosquito nightmare. But there were dolphins and I made snowmen on the beach. Good times. 6.7/10

Washington: again, legally required as an Oregon resident to say fuck Washington because it’s all your fault we now are getting a toll on the I-5 border. But you’re better than California. And the Sound is really cool for fishing, love Wicked Tuna. And the fish market. Best salmon I’ve had. Eastern Washington... y’all got Spokane but the rest is kinda sparse. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 8/10

Wisconsin: cheese is actually good. Again, pretty state, much larger than I initially thought. 7/10

Wyoming: this was the ONLY STATE I lost cell service in when diriving cross country. Kinda surprised it wasn’t Montana, but no, it was Wyoming. Views are gorgeous though so I was distracted either way. 4/10

Thank you for joining me on this cross-country edition of Tea Time with Hawk. Please respond with any reactions, corrections, addendums about any and all of the states mentioned. And thank you for taking part in this wholesome Clone Wars fandom discourse with me 🥰💕

DISCLAIMER: THESE RATINGS ARE ALL A JOKE PLEASE DO NOT ACTUALLY GET MAD ABOUT IT

[coreymichaelsmithson]

The Lights of Treasure Island

For the past few years, I've been living on a barrier island named Anastasia. A sandy, sleepy, slow place, just off the coast of our nation's oldest city, Anastasia Island features tall palm trees and gorgeous beaches, along with excellent sushi and a surprisingly active arts scene. Its most splendid attraction, though, is an old lighthouse, one striped with a black and white spiral and crowned by a bright red lamphouse. It towers commandingly over the dunes, casting a long beam that can be seen from nearly anywhere in town.

I've always liked lighthouses. In days of old we set these magnificent lanterns on the edge of the sea, to guide sailors through dark and treacherous waters, to show them the way home. Lighthouses represent so many things we need: safety, comfort, reliability, navigation. But in my mind, these structures hold the magic of candles, the magic of illumination itself. When we speak of enlightenment, we may be speaking specifically of rationality and discovery, but we are also conjuring images of light prevailing over darkness. And in this way the lighthouse emerges as a powerful symbol of the spirit.  

This February, for my 47th birthday, I explored the Outer Banks of North Carolina, where I saw several amazing lighthouses. Impressive as they were, I did not think they quite compared with the singular majesty of the structure that stands on Anastasia Island. After a harrowing return journey, one in which I drove with no working alternator (and sometimes without headlights or windshield wipers) through nearly 700 miles of tornadic thunderstorms, I felt the most profound relief when I finally crested the peak of the SR-312 bridge, which connects my island to the mainland, and I saw those familiar black and white stripes in the distance, signaling that I had made it home. Less than half a year later, my feelings about this special lighthouse of mine would be forever changed by a chance encounter.

Just under two months ago, I received a brief and rather unremarkable message from a stranger on Scruff, a queer dating platform that I use. One might charitably call Scruff "a social club for discerning gentlemen" ... it appeals to men who are hirsute, meaty, perpetually horny, and even a few of us freaks who defiantly straddle the line between "butch" and "nancy". Since this man's profile didn't really offer all that much information, and his one available picture wasn't particularly compelling, I promptly tucked his message away and forgot about it, and went for my customary sunset walk on the beach.

I live exactly one mile from the southern boundary of a state park, which offers a four-mile stretch of pristine dune habitat, completely undeveloped and sparsely occupied. The only man-made objects in sight are a few empty lifeguard stands, the city's sightseeing pier, a radio antennae, and our lighthouse. Dolphins gather here, their dorsal fins rising and falling between the breakers. Squadrons of pelicans fly in tight formations, gliding only a few feet above the water's surface. Terns and sea turtles nest in its sands, and I've found many shark teeth among the sea shells and ghost crab burrows. This is a special place, a holy place, and I've made a daily ritual of enjoying its cloudscapes and crepuscular glow as I explore the edge between land and sea.

After a pleasant stroll, maybe an hour or so of blissful meditation, I turned around and started heading back towards my car when I caught sight of a man who had just walked out of the water and was now drying himself off. We locked eyes.

He was the most beautiful man I had ever seen. Arrestingly beautiful, the kind of handsome that stops you dead in your tracks. I just kind of gulped for a second, and then walked right up to him, with an audacity that I didn't even know I possessed, turned on every damn bulb in my Christmas tree, and murmured, "Hi!", making the word shimmer like tinsel. In a short amount of time, I learned that he was a Russian artist, born in St. Petersburg but living in Moscow. I had met him during a brief pause on his long drive from Jacksonville to Key West; he had only intended on stopping in St. Augustine long enough to explore our old Spanish fort and take a swim on our nicest beach. He possessed a keen intellect, a quick wit, and a laudable command of English. As we spoke, he kept giving me flashes of the most mischievous smile, and so when I finally asked him what he was grinning about, he revealed that he was the same man who had messaged me earlier. This came as a surprise, for I hadn't recognized him at all ... I had only been drawn in now by his gorgeous movie-star looks, the undeniable sex appeal of his dripping wet body, and some weird sense of destiny.

We talked. We talked some more. We went to dinner. And then he stayed for the better part of three days.

In my bed, we enjoyed the most astonishing kind of communion. Our nights and mornings were filled with such tenderness ... soft eyes, soft caresses, fearlessly sustained gazes, the kind of kisses that tell a hundred little stories. One by one, various secrets were brought to light. We shared toe-curling carnality, thunderous climaxes, an unalloyed and unembarrassed intimacy. We shared joy.

On our second day together, I took him to the top of Anastasia Island's lighthouse. We lingered on each landing to kiss and giggle, and our embraces grew more intense. We felt a stronger and stronger pull towards one another. I knew that this was more than just a simple infatuation. By the time we reached the lantern's round balcony, and stepped out together onto the most spectacular view of St. Augustine, I knew that I was falling in love.

I don't blame you for rolling your eyes at this. You may, in your justifiable cynicism, think it ridiculous for a man to utter such a powerful phrase within such a short time. But if you've ever known me, you've come to recognize by now my considerable capacity for love. My passions and appetites may rise to the surface with little interference, and will I admit some recklessness in how I've invested my energies, but I am no fool. I am neither naïve nor desperate. And I can say in all sincerity that what we felt then was, at least for a short while, genuine love.

From the top of the lighthouse we could see everything. The old downtown, with its mixture of colonial and Spanish Renaissance buildings. The Matanzas River, named for the 1565 massacre of shipwrecked Huguenots, separating my island from the mainland. The harbor of St. Augustine, crowded with sailboats and pleasure craft, a forest of masts. And then the sea, blue and inviting, the sea that would soon separate us. We held each other tightly and looked upon the Atlantic together, casting our dreams towards the horizon, into this vista of seemingly endless possibility and hope.

On our last night together, we took a naked midnight swim in my pool, which is lit from above by a row of blue lights. A light and warm rain fell on our heads as we twined our legs underwater, and our ardor cast a web of rippling refractive patterns on the pool's concrete bottom. He looked me in the eyes, kissed me with the utmost gentleness, and formally invited me to come stay with him in Moscow. I accepted with my new magic word, "Да."

The following morning, our parting was so sweet, and so warm. We solidified our promise to be reunited. He drove down to Key West, enjoying a music playlist I assembled for him, and then he flew up to New York for a week's visit with old friends. After he returned to Moscow, we embarked on a passionate long-distance affair via telephone and social media apps.

I plunged right away into the Russian language, practicing for hours a day, rediscovering my knack for linguistics. I bought books on the cities of Moscow and St. Petersburg, books on Russian verbs, flashcards, a portable dictionary. I subscribed to online learning programs, put apps on my phone, read up on the country's history. I was all in, bringing every available bit of my enthusiasm, work ethic, and inventiveness to the challenge. Every day, I would send him sweet little videos or text messages ... sharing good news, conveying small but significant events of my daily life, showing off my rapidly accelerating grasp of Russian. I sent him notes of encouragement, pictures of me looking my cutest, small but enjoyable details of my life on Anastasia Island. I sent him a short clip of the black skimmers that sliced back and forth across the thin swash of the surf, their beaks dipping into half an inch of water. I sent him pelicans, beach crabs, waves, paintings, difficult words, idioms, cute terms of venery, sunsets, clouds, kisses, evidence of my changing body. I sent him love, every day. "каждый день," I promised him, placing my hand on my heart, "каждый день." Every day.

My love deepened by the hour. I know this is going to sound so gushy and gross, but I really pushed the lighthouse metaphor pretty hard, calling myself "твой смотритель маяка" or "your lighthouse keeper". I meant this in all sincerity, without a drop of bathos or schmaltz. Our time atop the lighthouse was sacred to me. I promised him that I would keep its light burning bright.

Over time, however, things shifted. As my interest grew, his began to dwindle. He sent less and less of himself, slowly removing from our conversation his humor, his sexuality, his warmth, his trust. It was like seeing a fully assembled jigsaw puzzle get lifted into the air, and watching all the pieces falling out ... at first only a few at a time, then more and more, until there was only a jagged perimeter where there had once been a lovely picture.

The nadir came when he lost his temper with me over my visa. I was confused about the process, as the Russian consulate and other sources were providing patchy and often conflicting information, and his own explanations changed from day to day. During our last video chat, I asked one too many questions, and he snapped. He rolled his eyes, effectively called me stupid and childish, and hung up on me three times. My many attempts at reconciliation were completely rebuffed. It was both baffling and extraordinarily painful.

Two days after our fight he was in a terrible car accident, one from which he miraculously escaped unharmed. He posted on social media an impassioned paragraph about the event, and how it drew into sharp focus all the love he had in his life, how he felt that he wasn't deserving of such love, how grateful he was for his friends. Yet instead of contacting me, inviting me into this experience, or trying to repair our frayed connection, he spent his evenings logging back into Scruff, the aforementioned dating app. He continued to ignore me, choosing instead to pursue (or perhaps refresh) other opportunities. I tried in vain to reach him, to restore our bond, but was met with only the most chilling silence.

How had I been so wrong? Had my desire devolved into mere obsession, albeit one artfully disguised as love? Had my zeal somehow suffocated him? The irony for me was that this disastrous affair unfolded during a period of rapid and positive transformation. In the space of the last seven months, I'd already changed my diet, fixed my teeth, joined a gym, paid off a chunk of my debt, reorganized my home office, purchased a standing desk, resumed my daily beach walks, started seeing both a psychiatrist and a therapist. My relationship to my body was improving, I was working at a higher level of professional responsibility, gaining new clients, writing my fourth novel, and churning out the finest paintings of my career. A recent experience with ayahuasca had given me valuable insights into my adulthood. It seemed only right that this Russian should be the cherry on my sundae, a prize I had been working so hard to deserve.

And so, after admitting my own disenchantment, I surrendered. Reeling from an overwhelming feeling of loss, I wrote him a heartfelt letter in Russian, one in which I explained the hurt his indifference was causing me. I poured a lot of benevolent energy into this letter. And then I said to him the saddest word I've learned in Russian, "Прощай", which is the type of goodbye you use when you think you are not likely to see someone again. It translates, literally, into "forgive me."

Here is the letter I wrote to him, translated into English:

***

"V_____, beautiful V____:

Okay. I give up.

Your silence gave me a very clear and very painful answer. You have been entrusted with something rare and beautiful, and you have shown that you do not want it. So now it's gone.

I'm sorry my heart bored you so much. I will no longer annoy you with my desires.

The love that I offered you ... pure and strong, given without demands or jealous limitations ... does not come often.

It pains me to realize that you do not appreciate what I have tried to give you. It is even more painful to realize that I may have aggravated the situation with my zeal. But the distance that you put between us is your choice, and I must respect that.

It seems that the epiphany you experienced in the car accident, the moment you thought of all the love in your life, did not include my love for you. Your priorities are yours, and I accept that. But you almost died yesterday, V_____. And instead of choosing to bond with a man who cares about you so much, your focus shifted to Scruff. Your indifference is so obvious now. Please do not say anything ugly or cruel in response. There is already enough sorrow on my island. I feel both grief and embarrassment, but not anger. I've always wanted the best for you, and it's still true.

I sincerely wish you a long and happy journey. I hope you enjoy many successes and find many pleasures. I hope you stay healthy. I hope the man you choose deserves your best gifts. I hope you find a better lighthouse. I must direct my light now to those who are really looking for it. So now I must tell you the saddest word that I have learned in your language.

Goodbye."

***

Please allow me now to rewind a few years, and tell a correlative story.

In the autumn of 2019, during a period of intense sadness and frustration, I fled from Anastasia Island and drove impulsively across the state to the Gulf Coast. I didn't have a clear destination, I didn't pack enough clothes or supplies, and I was so blinded with tears and unexpressed rage that I didn't know where I was, or even care much about where I might land. While getting lost somewhere in the vicinity of St. Petersburg, I glanced at a map, dragged my finger along the squiggly coastline, saw the name Treasure Island, and thought, "That's gotta be the place."

I don't know what I was expecting to find there. Something about the name sounded so exciting, so exotic. And as the evening wore on, my anticipation grew. I thought, in my desperation, that everything would be all right once I got to Treasure Island. Over the next few hours, I convinced myself that I'd finally feel good again in such a place, that my pain and confusion would certainly evaporate once I reached this safe haven. I'd check into a nice hotel room, preferably one with 300 thread-count sheets and a coffee maker, and I'd dream about pirate ships and gold doubloons, and when I opened my eyes and yawned and stretched against the sun-dappled pillows my life would basically feel like a commercial for some bougie brand of almond milk. When I arrived, however, I was deeply disappointed to see another narrow stretch of high-rise hotels, littered beaches, rank seaweed, and greyish-brown water. I found the cheapest hotel room around, one of the few remaining vacancies on the shore, and there I found neither crisp bedsheets nor good coffee. The view from my balcony, however, was utterly amazing: I could see not only a broad curving swath of the beach, but also a glow of distant resort hotels, some of them reflected in the waves. It was strangely romantic, seeing these twinkling lights ... red, gold, green, blue ... and their silent conversation with the stars, a dialogue of jewels above the warm churning waters of the Gulf. But it wasn't the salvation I had been hoping for.

When I got up the next morning, I was still facing the same problems, the same irritations, the same heavy sorrows. Treasure Island would not, could not, rescue me from myself. So I drove back home to my own island, back to my lighthouse, and was relieved to discover that it was in fact even more stirring than I had remembered. During my absence Anastasia Island had become a magical and restorative place, quite different than the one I had left only days before.

What I should have learned back then, but have only come to realize now, was this: I didn't need to travel to a distant island of treasure and twinkling stars, for my own island already had plenty of both. I didn't need to seek the incandescence of a handsome man to light my way, as my own inner flame was at last beginning to shine without the shutters of inhibition or profligacy.

I am now recalling my disappointment with Treasure Island, while concurrently considering my grief over the Russian. At first, I wanted to hate him for his carelessness, for how he squandered my gifts. But I don't hate him. Not really. There's no need to wring my hands any further over his callousness. I don't even mourn his absence anymore. My mood has shifted today, and I no longer choose to see this abortive liaison as being so devastating. For I know, deep down, that the failure here was not really mine. I am not a loser for investing myself unreservedly in someone who could not fully appreciate me, nor I am not the weaker man for feeling injured. I will not be permanently depleted for having offered all that kindness to an undeserving recipient, as my wellspring of love remains inexhaustible.

I tried to share my lighthouse with the Russian. But he did not recognize how special it really was, and he declined to follow its beacon to a rewarding harbor. And thus, our romance was destroyed, and his memory became just another broken boat littering the shallows.

I have seen so many ruins in my years: bad relationships, lousy jobs, soured opportunities. My life story reads like a ledger of dashed hopes. It seems sometimes that both the island I occupy and the more elusive island I am eternally seeking are surrounded by shipwrecks. Yet the lighthouse of my spirit still stands, sturdier and stronger than ever. The waves may batter its bricks, salt may scour its surfaces, it may occasionally groan under its own weight ... but it will not crumble, it will not fail, and even in the darkest of hours this lamp of mine will continue to shine: bright, focused, undiminished.

[willow-grace-x]

* LILI REINHART, CIS WOMAN + SHE/HER | you know WILLOW GRACE IRWIN, right? they’re TWENTY-TWO, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, SIX MONTHS? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to US BY JAMES BAY, a million times this year, which makes sense ‘cause they’ve got that HOPELESS ROMANTIC, RIDING THEIR BIKE AROUND TOWN, SPINNING VINYL RECORDS. i just checked and their birthday is JUNE 15, so they’re a GEMINI, which is unsurprising, all things considered. ( Shannon, 24, est she/her 

TW: mention of death, car accident

Background:

Willow Grace Irwin is the only child of Helen and Gregory Irwin. Willow was born and raised in a small town outside of Seattle, Washington. Like her name, Willow was raised in a rural town surrounded by the wilderness. Her mother, an artist and photographer, and her father a college professor teaching Biology. Both of the girls parents raised her to appreciate the arts, as well as value the true beauty of the Earth. Willow grew up taking hikes, camping, and exploring. Most children are raised in front of a screen, born knowing how to type on a computer, eyes glued to a screen. 

From a young age, Willow was the child who was defined as the “shy kid”, keeping her eyes hidden under books. People didn’t go out of their way to notice Willow, and Willow did not go out of her way to be noticed. In grade school, the girl was picked on for her unruly blonde curls and thick-round rimmed glasses. From a young age, this caused Willow to become anxious, and quick to withdraw from people who seemed too “kind” to her. 

Once middle school hit, Willow finally found some company. A new kid moved in just right down the road from the Irwin residence. The young boys name was Mark. Mark and Willow hit it off instantly, the two shared many hobbies and enjoyed running through the woods after school, or riding their bikes into town for ice cream during the warm summer months. Very quickly, Mark became Willow’s best friend, the two never left one another’s side. As the years wore on, Mark and Willow grew to become more than just friends. Mark asked Willow to the ninth grade fall dance, where the two danced together..well stepped on one anothers toes really. During the last slow song, Mark and Willow shared their first kiss, at thirteen years old. Some would say that after that point, Mark and Willow became “high-school sweethearts.” After graduation, Mark enlisted in the Army leaving Willow behind in Washington. However, he vowed he would be back soon so they could spend the rest of their lives together. 

Three years had passed, Willow and Mark were only able to communicate via letters and the occasional video chat. Willow yearned for Mark to return home, so they could start their lives together. Once the holidays rolled around, Mark surprised Willow by coming home right in time for Christmas. Mark showed up at Willow’s doorstep, surprising her by taking her to a fancy dinner in Seattle. While at dinner, Mark knelt on one knee and asked Willow to be his wife. Of course, she happily agreed, so grateful to spend the rest of her life with the man she loved. However, things would soon take a turn for the worse. On the drive home, the weather became treacherous. Mark and Willow were struck by a semi-truck on the highway. The truck hitting the driver side door of the car, Mark passing away on impact. Willow’s life changed from that day forward, she lost the love of her life, and in some ways lost a part of herself.

Willow couldn’t stay in Washington with the painful memories behind her. So she dropped everything, taking a leap of faith to move to Irving, North Carolina. Perhaps here, she can have a fresh start. Her family misses her dearly, but she can’t face the past now. To remain close to her past with Mark she wears his old wrist watch and his Army dog tags as a bracelet.Will the town of Irving give her the fresh start she needs or will she continue to hold onto those painful memories forever?

Willow has been in town for six months now, living in a small apartment until she can get back on her feet. She aspires to go to college to become a teacher, and for now she works as a barista at Kahlo. Willow is sweet, soft spoken, an old soul and hopeless romantic at her core.

[mckenzierossistory]

Solo [Background Story Part One]

This is my story.

My parents are Donovan Rossi is a Navy Seal, Master Chief Petty Officer, and Angel Rossi, she was a singer; my grandparents are Alden Rossi, a Navy Seal, Captain, and Isabella Rossi is a music teacher. I’m McKenzie Grace Rossi. I was born July 28, on the hottest day in the summer. We lived in Nashville, Tennessee. Daddy said that they were very excited to have me. It was a blessing to them; it took a long time to get pregnant with me. When l starts to get older, my father, when away a lot to protect our country. Mama, when on tour, she makes sure she called me. So I am with my grandparents a lot. My Grandaddy was very strict about things, but Granny wasn’t until you piss her off. I wonder where l get my temper from, a southern woman that carries a wooden spoon that will fixin’ you real fast. Granny ensured that I was always busy; music was a big part of my life with my Mama and Granny. One day mama was on tour, the news announced that Angel Savannah Rossi was murder by a fan.

My Grandparents knew that they would have to protect me more. I start to look like my mama with the sassy, southern girl charm that can charm off a man’s pants. Granny said to Grandaddy and Daddy that will be a special man that can handle me when l get a little older. My daddy knew that his mama was right. Still, for now, Daddy didn’t want to lose me from mama fan, he put in a request to move to Florida; my grandparents took me to Florida before Daddy came back from his mission; we are on base the time Daddy got back, he knew we are safe, Grandaddy chuckles at the guys as l got older. I started to look like my mama; Daddy was growling at his unit, warn them about me that I’m off-limits. Throughout high school, l wanted to be a cop; I didn’t want to be Navy Seal like my Granddaddy and Daddy. I applied for the police academy I have gotten in; I had to work twice as hard as everyone else because my granddaddy and father are Navy Seals; when l graduate from the police academy, I went to Narcotics Unit, I did a lot of undercover work. I was offered to go to Sniper school. I had to go to DMO Camp Geiger, the United States Marine Corps base in Jacksonville, North Carolina.

We got off the bus, meet Gunnery Sergeant Thomas Trooper, then l meet Master Gunnery Sergeant Jayce Caelan. He was a tall guy. I had to prove myself a lot l was the only female on the base at the time; I learned a lot about being the best sniper, a lot of rumors about Master Gunnery Sergeant Jayce Caelan that he was the best sniper in the world. A lot of the guys start to notice me. Master Gunnery Sergeant Jayce Caelan has a stop of that; I was here to learn. Graduation hit, my family was there. A few months later, l was on the roof, my phone ring; I couldn’t talk when l am on a case. He left a message asking me to come to meet him. A few days later, I sent him a text message because my partner's wife got hold of my cell phone; she knew that l had the hottest for Master Gunnery Sergeant Jayce Caelan.

The date is set to go to the bar off base to meet him. My partner's wife picked out a very sexy emerald dress with a pair of black Jimmy Choo’s, a very sexy lace black bra, and matching panties. I drove to the bar. I was very excited and very nervous about seeing Master Gunnery Sergeant Jayce Caelan again. I step in. The guys that l graduate with are snipers. They are whistling and hollering at me. I saw Gunnery Sergeant Thomas Trooper hugs him. We talked a little he knew l was a sniper for the swat team; he hears that he was undercover.

The bartender steps out of the bar hugging me, he asked me what l wanted to drink, and l told him a glass of white wine. I couldn’t get away from Gunnery Sergeant Thomas Trooper; then, I saw Master Gunnery Sergeant Jayce Caelan as the song of “Burnin’ it down, by Jason Alden.” Master Gunnery Sergeant Jayce Caelan has a smirk on his face telling the guys that they are dismissed. I smiled, taking a sit with Master Gunnery Sergeant Jayce Caelan in the corner of the bar with him talking about everything and anything. He told me to stop calling him Master Gunnery Sergeant Jayce Caelan; I just called him Jayce. I feel his hand on mine, then we kissed. That night was unforgettable with him; a month later, l found l was carrying Jayce’s baby. I sent Jayce to tell him, but l knew that he was on a mission in Iraq. Sergeant Majors Pete Cox and l start to become friends; I have gotten into some trouble with the Russian Mob with a case. So Sargeant Majors Pete Cox starts to protect me. I passed out in the house. I was rush to the hospital to have #AshleyLynnCaelan on July 24.

A few years later, #AshleyLynn, she is turning three years old, she is so excited about having her Birthday in Miami, Grandaddy and Granny live next to us, I couldn’t believe who l am seeing it’s Jayce. We started to talk; we had our first date on the beach was romantic. He moved in; I finally told Jayce that #AshleyLynn is his daughter, giving him proof of it along with her birth certificate; we got married on April 14, 2019; the wedding was a surprise for him, I had a lot of help to pull off for us. Then we went to visit my mother's parents; I was pregnant with our little boy, I miscarriage on him that broken my heart along with Jayce’s heart we pulled threw it then we got #AngelSavannah, a few months later Jayce got his assignment the girls always send him pictures, and letters and AshleyLynn put a teddy bear in Jayce bag so he will have someone to keep him company. #TBC

[tabloidtoc]

National Examiner, May 18

Cover: Olivia Newton-John secrets she hid from the world 

Page 2: The secrets behind Star Wars 

Page 4: Shocking mug shots of the stars 

Page 6: Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson are donating their blood to science in hopes of discovering a Hank-ccine so the star can help save the world from coranavirus 

Page 7: How to keep your marriage going strong 

Page 8: Potful of other uses for coffee 

Page 9: How to avoid those quarantine pounds 

Page 10: If you’re on your way to get groceries in Winter Park, Florida you may find yourself laughing -- a local mom has been drawing funny chalk cartoons about social distancing on the sidewalk 

Page 11: Your Health 

Page 12: They’re Famous and Best Pals Too -- Sophie Turner and Maisie Williams, The Rock and Kevin Hart, Gwyneth Paltrow and Beyonce, Guy Fieri and Matthew McConaughey, Julia Roberts and George Clooney 

Page 13: Mindy Kaling and Reese Witherspoon, Snoop Dogg and Martha Stewart, Barbra Streisand and Lady Gaga, Emma Stone and Jennifer Lawrence, 50 Cent and Bette Midler 

Page 14: Dear Tony -- Church Should Be a Place for Spiritual Healing, Tony predicts families becoming much stronger supportive units as we come out of COVID-19 along with a greater respect for teachers and medical professionals and other service workers 

Page 15: Being stuck indoors while a disease rages outside is stressful but it can also give rise to creative ideas like the enduring and beloved board game Candy Land which was dreamed up more than 70 years ago during the polio epidemic 

Page 16: First hubby James Dougherty remembers the Marilyn Monroe only I knew -- why happy days with Norma Jean Baker had to end 

Page 18: Men who shave their chest hair for the sake of fashion may want to reconsider -- a furry front is a sign on super intelligence 

Page 19: Things Your Pets Should Never Eat -- chocolate, grapes, coffee, garlic, raisins, avocados, macadamia nuts, xylitol sweetener, lily plants, Tylenol

Page 20: Cover Story -- Olivia Newton-John’s secret wild life exposed -- squeaky-clean star recalls rock star days of drugs, destruction and exorcism 

Page 22: It’s a landmark birthday for any teen so when Emily Banta turned 18 she was bummed she would have to spend it social distancing instead of partying with her pals but surprise -- the Missouri gal got her big blowout with a drive-by birthday celebration 

Page 24: Prince Louis turns two 

Page 25: Next time you loan your car to a friend or family member consider this: you may also be giving them a license to snoop

Page 26: The Good Doctor -- getting a second opinion should be a first priority, since March of last year UPS has been conducting a trial program called Flight Forward using autonomous drone deliveries of critical medical samples including blood or tissue between two branches of a hospital in Raleigh, North Carolina, located 150 yards apart 

Page 27: Simple plan shows you how to remember everything 

Page 28: Loretta Lynn tells all -- the Patsy Cline only I knew -- how the Coal Miner’s daughter found a sister in the country legend 

Page 30: Tough times led Tony Bennett to the top -- he left his heart in San Francisco but never forgot where he came from 

Page 32: The hilarious wit and wisdom of The Golden Girls -- Betty White, Estelle Getty, Bea Arthur, Rue McClanahan 

Page 34: Tired All the Time? Simple lifesaving tests hold key to putting more pep in your step 

Page 40: Tony’s Mystic World -- do you have psychic power? 

Page 43: Joy Behar wants to set the record straight about all the yakety-yak that’s been going around about her saying goodbye to The View -- it’s not going to happen, the loneliness of the coronavirus quarantine is actually agreeing with Glenn Close for now 

Page 44: Eyes on the Stars -- Prince Charles and wife Camilla Duchess of Cornwall show their appreciation for hospital staffers at their Scottish home, Ringo Star, life imitated art for Halle Berry while shooting the movie Bruised -- for her role as an MMA fighter she trained with UFC champion Valentina Shevchenko and wound up getting injured during a filmed face-off, Kate Hudson lives only a hop skip and a jump away from mother Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell but she’s considering a move to be even closer to her mom, pregnant Katy Perry says her pregnancy has given her a hankering for different types of food and her no. 1 craving is avocado toast with Tabasco, Marianne Faithfull is on the road to recovery after being hospitalized in England for three weeks as she suffered from coronavirus

Page 45: Tony Bennett takes part in a New Jersey charity telethon, Joan Collins salutes U.K. medical workers, Chris Pratt and Katherine Schwarzenegger are expecting their first child together, Tom Brady who left the New England Patriots for the Tampa Bay Buccaneers got off on the wrong foot in his new hometown -- he was working out in a public park that was off-limits during the coronavirus shutdown and was asked to leave, The Price Is Right announcer George Gray suffered three massive heart attacks, Kristin Cavallari revealed she’s split from husband of seven years Jay Cutler 

Page 46: On average women are getting mansplained more than once a day -- Mansplaining refers to the infuriating habit shared by many men who talk down to women and over-explain things the women already know and usually know better 

Page 47: Motorcycles of the Stars -- Jay Leno, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Orlando Bloom, Pink, Tom Cruise, Justin Timberlake, Keanu Reeves, Bradley Cooper 

[aka217]

Ok, so 2019

This year was a mix of goods and okays. This for sure feels like a transition point, where normal is not comfortable, and change is imminent. We have our sights on new adventures in the West coast. And while it didn't come to fruition this year, the intent has been built and we are set to make 2020 a big turn. But first, let's recap 2019:

2019 was no slow down of travel from the past, which really is our ambition. With the help of Southwest companion pass, we were able to take advantage and travel to many places. Plus the job flew me out to a few additional location, as well as two interviews in San Francisco was of some one else's dime. Let's go through the list:

San Francisco: same for an interview, stayed for my 30th birthday celebration with the SF crew. Cat Cafe, a couple brunch spots, improv show. Always a good time and perhaps a little taste of what's to come. I was flown out a second time, and while quick, was able to fit in a quick night adventure with Kim. It was heartbreaking for this opportunity not to come into fruition, but on to the next as they say.

Easley SC: quick trip for work, not much here but hey, free travel

Washington DC/Virginia: fun trip with Ashley, exploring the city. At the time DC was a possible location to move, and we did get good vibes. We spent time hanging out with Ashley's old friends, and sightseeing. I haven't been to DC since I was a kid, so seeing the monuments now I had a better appreciation. Tied to this trip was a quick visit to Manassas, to see my cousins and his two daughters. That was a nice quick visit to get some ice cream in town and some real BonChon haha.

Puerto Rico: always a favorite, hanging out with Ashley's family, we went hiking up parts of El Yunque, beach times and just hanging out. I had a delicious Cuban sandwich chopped up perhaps in a Puerto Rican style. Delicioso.

Park City Utah: this was a fun trip for Sheri's birthday. A lot of the schmooters crew came out for to stay in a cabin like house within the valley of a bunch of ski mountain. We were at the tail end of winter/spring, but thanks to climate change we did see snow(and briefly hail) which added to the trip. Jacuzzi while snowing, party games, staying in, and watching the stars. Pretty awesome trip and a true showing that it we really come together for each other, not necessarily for the city.

Jacksonville: quick trip to see Ashley's cousin, little 4th of July action

St. Augustine: back to back I believe weekends from Jacksonville to see Becca Matt and Mason.

Raleigh North Carolina: Anthony's wedding, Raleigh has a surprisingly cultured downtown. Had time to grab different bites, plus explore downtown, NC state, drive pass the museum of art, and take a rest in the wildlife forest by the airport.

Titusville: a few times we visited Eddy, going to the local beach (which had some wild big waves, that was awesome to boogy board) and also see Eddy's new house, plus a rocket launch!

Portland Maine: quick work trip to diagnose an issue, caught this town in the thick of fall. Beautiful fall colors, it's a shame I never made it past half a mile from the airport. But did get to eat Maine's favorites: lobster bisque and blueberry pie.

Montego Bay Jamaica: celebrating 15 years with Ashley (officially half of our lives together), it was a fun all inclusive resort. Jamaican patties everyday, curried goat, and great Thai as well. Not enough time, but very enjoyable

Milwaukee WI: glad to get here one more time for training paid by the company. I was able to hit a few favorites plus a few new spots, saw Julia Michaels in concert, watch the Bucks play at a crazy sports bar, watched Parasite at a beautiful old theater, and listened to classical guitar at a museum of art. I love the city a lot and had a lot of time to get to know it. This may be the last time I get to go on company dime, but I really hope it's not the last time I visit. I'd love to get property to frequently visit as I get older, trully a place that has my heart.

Tampa: wild Thanksgiving weekend of Ocala straight to Tampa, including three different hotels in the 5 days. But Tampa/St. Pete is always a good time, and we were there to see Lizzo

Las Vegas: AJ's bachelor party with his cousins and the schmooters fam. It's funny to see how we grow up, because during my bachelor party we sardine canned 11 guys into 2 rooms, and went everywhere as a crew. This time most of us got separate rooms and split up frequently to do our own thing. But we had great moments together, and Ashley and I had a little extra time to ourselves. Las Vegas is always a great and expensive time. It helps to win in craps and roulette, but eventually the house always wins haha.

Wow. Every year I'm surprised by how much travel we accomplish, and would be surprised to think the next year would be just as much. But thanks to the companion pass, points, and Tracy's Hilton friends and family, we manage to do a lot on a discount. I love it and grateful we can do it year after year.

A couple highlight shows this year:

Improv show in San Francisco

Hamilton: wow worth all the hype, and loads of

listening to the soundtrack and mixtape

Sabrina Claudio: nice to see here again live, what a great voice, and to see her at a venue with her headlining

Julia Michaels: wow this one too. I love one of her songs, but being able to know the setlist ahead of time, I had the chance to fall in love withore of her songs, and to know the words to all of the songs. What a performer and her and her band make one of my favorite shows ever

Harry Potter orchestra: we did the first movie, but the composition of this movie is exceptional we couldn't miss it

Lizzo/Sam Smith: Ashley's wish to see Lizzo in concert, a whim decision in the middle of the night I planned the entire trip to Tampa. It was cool to go back to a Jingle ball concert (my first concert was a jingle ball) and the setlist was pretty decent.

Other highlights:

Story corp: Ashley and I recorded a podcast, going through our relationship. It was a fun time and cool to have a piece of us be preserved in a national archive.

Marriage classes: continuing from 2018 we did a set of marriage classes. We enjoy these to help fortify our relationship and make sure we communicate to each other clearly. Highly recommend for any couple getting married.

Coffee shop Sundays: we started this in heavy pursuit to look for new opportunities, it allowed us to explore new spaces in the Orlando area (and even in Miami). It's a nice way to spend time with Ashley, as well as follow through with our intents.

No Shave November: first time participating, I thought I'd try to see what growing my beard would be like, plus if I can raise money for Cancer. Well surpriaingly I raise $291, and matching that to a total of $581 to various cancer research organizations. It's compelling the power of contributing as a community can be, when many times it can be doubting to try and do it alone.

Okay, last tidbits:

Best thing I ate this year: Cuban sandwich in Puerto Rico

Best thing I drove this year: learned to sail a Hobie catamaran in Jamaica

Best game I played this year: Fire Emblem Three Houses

This year was a weird mix of stagnation but also pandemonium. It constantly felt like we were always going somewhere on the weekends and on vacation, with very few days of just being in the house. But also at work and our jobs, we feel very stagnant as I haven't seen any progression in my profession since last year. This has truly set a spark in Ashley and I looking collectively for new opportunities, and we hope to see this come to fruition in 2020. It surely be an adventure this coming year, we can only hope it is filled with fun adventures and fulfillment.

Cheers

[buckyscrystalqueen]

Star Crossed Rivalry: Part 8

Pairings: Opie x Reader (SOA/TWD MC AU Crossover ) Negan daughter!Reader

Warnings: Swearing, Fluff, little bit of Angst

Word Count: 5,231

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 / Part 6 / Part 7

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You and Opie had decided before you even left North Carolina that you were not, in any way, setting an alarm clock. You were in zero rush to get up, zero rush to go anywhere, and zero rush to do anything but relax. Away from home, away from the club, away from people that just walked in to your house for no reason what so ever. The only alarm clock you were going to run by was Hunter.

You still couldn’t believe how fortunate you were with your son. Even your dad said it. Since neither of you had to work, since your income came from basically existing as Negan’s daughter, you kept Hunter on a later night, later wake up sleeping pattern. He went to bed around ten thirty, which meant he didn’t wake up until at least eight fifteen. You honestly didn’t understand why other parents didn’t follow in your foot steps, nor did you understand why it made you a ‘bad parent’ (thank you to the judgmental bitch at Walmart that gave you shit for getting Opie’s birthday shopping done at ten at night with your wide awake baby) for still enjoying your sleep. But damn did you absolutely love your decision.

His cute little half babbles woke you, and you couldn’t help but smile like you did every morning. And just like he still did every morning, your husband stuck his arm out to find you in bed. You tangled your feet with his as he slid his hand down your stomach and under the hem of your panties. 

“Opie!” You hissed as you rolled on the bed to look back at him. “He’s…”

“Shhh!” He said as he kissed your shoulder, and slid his other hand up your shirt. “He’s still asleep…” He smirked down at you as he rolled you on to your back and shifted between your legs. “And I want to fuck my wife.”

“Ope! Ooo!” You said as he pulled your panties to the side and pushed the head of his cock into your core. He shushed you again and glanced over at the crib beside the bed and your sleeping son to make sure he didn’t wake up.

“You can do this, baby.” He said as he looked back down at you and rolled his hips forward. “You can stay super, super quiet for me…” You nodded your head, and laced your fingers in his hair as he kissed your forehead. “Because if you fucking wake him, then this stops.” You nodded your head and bit your lip to stay quiet when he snapped his hips forward. Your head continued to nod like a bobble head as he kept a steady pace, filling you repeatedly and perfectly. 

In the year and a half that you had been together, your husband had learned your body better than you knew it yourself and yet he still managed to surprise you every time you were intimate. He knew the exact angle to hold your legs and angle his hips to make a jolt of electricity race through your veins. He knew exactly where to kiss on the front of your throat that sent a shiver up your spine. He knew how hard you liked your hair pulled to make you whined his name the way he fucking adored so damn much… and he knew exactly how much pressure you needed on your clit to get you to cum.

“Come on, baby.” He whispered as he moved his thumb to your bud and pressed down, bringing you both right over to the edge in only a few moments, when someone knocked on your door. You and Opie both grunted in protest, mid-orgasm, as Hunter startled, and started to cry. 

“Mother fucker.” You said as the two of you scrambled apart to answer the door, and tend to your son as well. You grabbed a large, slightly still damp pool towel from the bathroom to wrap around your body as whoever was at the door knocked again. You yanked the door open, and scowled at your dad’s smiling face.

“The fuck were you fucking doing?” He chuckled as he leaned against the door frame. 

“Sleeping. What do you want, Dad?” You snapped as you clutched the towel around you a little more. 

“I came for Hunter.” He said as he gestured to the room behind you. “Frankie’s still passed out, it’s too fucking early to start drinking, and I’m not fucking wandering around a fucking Disney cruise alone.” You nodded your head as you turned your head to look back at Ope, who was changing his son’s wet diaper.

“Give me a second.” Negan chuckled, nodded his head, and leaned back against the wall to wait as you closed the door in his face.

“I’m gunna kill him.” Ope said with a shake of his head as you grabbed his jeans from the night before, and tossed them at him. “Yea, I’m gunna kill your Pop, little man.”

“Just put the jeans on.” You laughed as you pulled your sundress from the hamper you brought and threw it on over your tank top. When he buttoned the top of his pants, you went over and let your dad in to collect his grandson. “What time is it, anyways?” You asked him as you grabbed a bottle from the mini fridge cooler you brought with you, and put it in the bottle warmer the cruise line graciously supplied you. 

“Eight am.” He said as he leaned against your closet door. “And I’m starving. So since you two are so obviously… still tired.” He said with a smirk, loving that he had just interrupted you. “I’m just going to bring my main man to breakfast with me.”

“Better not use him to pick up chicks.” You said as you handed him your diaper bag and waited for the bottle to finish warming. “And make sure you do the bottle first.”

“I know how to fucking parent.” He sighed as Opie grabbed a plain black onesie from the drawer.

“Bibs are still mandatory.” Opie said as he pulled the onesie on, and kissed his son’s head.

“Waste of time.” Negan said as he stood exactly where he was, creating an awkward tension in the room that he absolutely loved as you both said a temporary good bye to your son. When the bottle was finally done, he took it and his grandson with a smile. “Let’s go, little man. Mommy and Daddy wanna fuck.”

“God damn it.” You groaned as your dad walked out the door with a laugh.

“I really hate him sometimes.” Opie said half jokingly as you watched the door close behind him. When it clicked, you looked back over at Opie with a shrug.

“Wanna fuck?” He laughed, and nodded as he came over to pull off your sundress and the tank top you slept in.

“Fucking obviously!”

——

“Well look who finally decided to get outta effin bed.” Negan chuckled as he glanced up at you, Opie, and Frankie, who you had run in to in the elevator on her way up to the Cabanas restaurant breakfast buffet. “Look who it is, bubba.”

“Shut up.” Frankie groaned as she sat down in the chair of the table closest to the corner of the room in typical Negan fashion.

“I was talking about the bunnies.” He chuckled as he got another spoonful of food for his grandson. “Because we need another one of you, right Hunter?”

“Leave ‘em alone, Negan!” Frankie snapped before you could even open your mouth. All three of your eyebrows shot up as Frankie’s face turned bright red.

“Holy shit.” You and Opie said at the same time.

“Baby…”

“OK.” Negan said with a nod, stunned that someone other than you actually stood up to him. “I’ll leave them alone… until the next time I catch them fucking like rabbits.”

“You’re impossible.” Frankie sighed as she grabbed his coffee and glared at him when he tried to stop her.

“Well will you look at that. Someone else willing to stand up to big bad Negan.” You chuckled as you ripped a piece of bacon in half and ate it with a giant, cocky smile. 

“Shut up, brat.” Your dad growled as he gave Hunter another spoonful of food.

“I think Frankie’s gunna give you a run for your money on picking on your dad, hun.” Opie chuckled, grateful that he had an entire table between him and your dad. “I think I’m gunna get a scoreboard…”

“Son-in-law or not, I will fucking kill you.” Your father growled as you smirked at your plate to hide it and pat Opie’s thigh. 

“Alright, that’s enough.” You said as you looked up and grabbed your coffee. You looked over at Frankie and smiled. “I would totally win though.”

“I only snap at him when I’m hungover.” She said as she cut her Mickey waffles.

“She’s much more respectful than the brat I gave life too.” Negan responded as he set Hunter’s spoon in the empty baby food container. “And despite that, I have a surprise for you all the same. Well, mostly for my main man, here.” He said as he wiped off Hunter’s face with his napkin. “I found the shore excursion desk this morning. And I know you guys said you weren’t committing to anything like that because no fucking alarm clocks and shit… But I changed your minds for you. Well Hunter did.” He said as stood Hunter up on his thighs. He screeched happily and bounced as his hazel eyes searched the dining room over Opie’s head. 

“I found a boat tour in Grand Cayman. We don’t get there ’til well after your fucking functioning time. Tours at one, it’s only a two hour trip total max. It’s a half boat, half fucking submarine thing, safe for Hunter. The dude said it’s got enough shit to see out the windows in the water that he’ll be entertained the whole damn time. I just…” He sighed as he looked up at his grandson with so much love it broke your heart. You hadn’t realized that sending you on this cruise for your honeymoon and his anniversary meant so much more to him until that exact moment.

“You’ll do right by him, Daddy.” You whispered as you reached over at touched his arm. “It’s OK.” He nodded his head and kept his slightly tear filled eyes on your son as Opie grabbed your empty coffee mug and his and got up with Frankie right on his heels.

“I fucked up with you, princess.” He said as he looked down at you. “I really fucked up.”

“I know.” You said with a nod. “And you can’t take it back. But you can make it better. For me, for him.” He nodded his head as Hunter flopped down on his lap and babbled away to the older woman at the next table. “Life’s too short, Dad, so don’t beat yourself up for that shit. You can let me live out my second childhood vicariously through my son. Don’t live his life in regret for the past. Live in gratitude that you have a second chance to make your grandson’s life the best fucking experience it can be. And starting off with a Disney cruise.” You said with a nod as you leaned back in your chair. “Win.” He nodded his head some more and kissed the top of Hunter’s head to hide his tears. 

“You make me fucking proud, (Y/N).” He said as he looked up at you with a small smile. “I don’t deserve to be your dad.”

“You don’t.” You said with a huffed laugh as Opie came back over with your coffee. “But then again, no one does. So you’re stuck with me.” His face dropped as he took the cup of coffee Frankie brought him, and held it out of Hunter’s grasp. 

“And then you go opening your fucking mouth.” He sighed with a shake of his head. “Alright, take Hunter. I’m avoiding you for the rest of the sea day because you’re already a pain in my fucking ass and you haven’t been up for a fucking hour.”

“Bye, Dad.” You laughed as you sat Hunter on your lap as Negan grabbed Frankie’s half full plate and silverware for her. “Bye Frankie.”

“See you at dinner! It’s formal night!” She said over her shoulder. You looked over at your husband with a sigh and shook your head.

“How the fuck did our honeymoon become a therapy session for me and my dad and me and my dad’s fucking girlfriend?”

“Because you’re stuck on a boat with them away from the club.” He said as he stabbed a sausage link. “Opposite of the reason why he doesn’t open up at home.”

“It’s still strange to see.” You sighed as you cut your waffles with one hand while holding your son with the other so he could continue to talk to and laugh at the woman at the next table that was now making faces at him. “But I guess I can be grateful, right? My dad’s finally growing up. It just took a new girlfriend and a grandson to do it.”

“You can’t look at it like that, baby.” Opie said with a shake of his head. “Or you’ll resent him…”

“I know.” You said around your bite with a nod. “You’re right.”

“I’m usually right.” He chuckled. “I just let you think you’re always right… Ow!” You laughed as he rubbed his arm where you flicked him.

“I’m the one that’s always right.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

“Look at you!” You laughed as you tried so hard not to laugh at your son as you switched out his little sun hat with a baby sombrero at a little store along the main road near Cozumel, Mexico’s port. “You’re such a little cutie!”

“Why do you do this to him?” Opie asked as you kissed Hunter’s cheek, pulled your phone from your back pocket, and handed it to your husband.

“Because I know, one day, he will have a girlfriend.” You said as you put a hat on your own head and hiked your chunkster son up on your hip. “Or a boyfriend, I don’t really give a shit. But I know that photos like this, will either embarrass the shit out of him or make him laugh.” You smiled up at your husband and tilted your head to the side. “I’m just trying to be a good mother.” 

“Just so you know.” He chuckled as he took the pictures for you. “I’m telling him it is all your fault.”

“That’s fine.” You said with a smile as you did a little dance with your baby boy. “I’m gunna be the most embarrassing Mommy in the world!” You sang to him, making him squeal in laugher when you carefully dipped him.

“Oh, Hunter, I wish I could save you.” Opie said with a shake of his head as he took another picture for himself. “But I really, really can’t.”

“They have a fucking tequila store.” Negan said as he came out of the jewelry store with Frankie. You involuntarily gaged at the thought of tequila and shook your head.

“Nope.” You said simply. “Y’all can go.”

“Wanna come with me to find a bathroom?” Frankie asked instead as she handed Negan her bag. You nodded your head as you replaced Hunter’s sombrero with his sun hat and put him back in the stroller for a moment. 

“I’m pretty sure there’s a Starbucks up here a ways.” You said as you gestured up the road. “We’ll meet you outside the tequila store.” Ope nodded his head and followed his father-in-law to the store two doors down and you and Frankie kept walking to find the Starbucks. “I hate tequila.” You said with a glance in the giant picture window. “I used to love it but ever since I got pregnant, everything about it just…” You gagged again and shook your head. “Nope. Fuck no.” 

“I grew out of my tequila days.” She said as you stopped at a street corner to wait to cross. You glanced over at her a split second before a small revolver was subtly placed directly between her shoulder blades.

“Vamanos.” A man growled as he put his hand on your shoulder and turned you to your right to lead you deeper into the city. 

“OK.” You said with a nod as you grabbed Frankie’s hand and gave it a tight squeeze. “OK, come on, let’s go this way.” You said as you looked over at her now tear stained face. “Stay calm, OK. Just stay calm.” She nodded her head as tears poured down her cheeks as you glanced up at the street sign in front of you. You took in as many details as you could as the man lead you to an early 2000’s model, silver Nissan Sentra that was parked facing out of an alley a few blocks from the port. You memorized the license plate as best as you could as he popped the trunk, and shoved Frankie toward it with his gun.

“Get in, Frankie.” You said shakily as your abductor handed you a roll of duct tape. “Give me your hands. Together like you’re praying.” She looked up at you in sheer terror as you pulled the edge of the tape free. “Trust me.” With a small nod, she held out her hands and choked out a sob as the gun was pressed into the back of your head.

“Vamos!” The man shouted, making you tape Frankie’s wrist together faster, knowing full well you’d be able to help her out and learning really quickly that this guy was an amateur.

“Back up, sweetie.” You said to her as the man yanked the roll of tape from your hands. 

“Siéntate!” You nodded your head as you turned around and willingly held out your hands toward him, knowing that you were going to escape no matter what. You studied the man’s features, forcing yourself to keep breathing just like your dad always taught you, as he tapped your hands tightly as if that would make a difference.

“No, (Y/N)…” Frankie begged as you scooted back into the trunk once he was done.

“Just hang on, sweetie.” You said as you laid down in front of her, using your small frame to block hers from your attacker. He kept his gun on you and put his finger over his mouth, telling you to stay silent, before he slammed the trunk closed. Frankie yelled ‘no’ as you instantly got to work. 

“Why is this happening?” She sobbed as you looked around for a glow in the dark trunk release tab.

“Hey, I need you to stop for a second.” You said as you moved on to finding something to force the release open. “You forget… I’m Negan’s daughter. Escaping trunks is something he taught me young. Roll up against the seats.”

“I wanna go home.” She sobbed as you pulled up the panel of flooring. You felt around as best as you could as the car pulled into traffic until your fingertips felt a metal tire iron.

“Fuck yea.” You gasped as you stretched a little bit farther, and pulled it free. “Alright, Frankie. I need you to listen to me.” You said as you scooted over in the small space. “The second I pop this trunk, we gotta run. You run straight down the road, and you don’t fucking stop for anything, you hear me?” You heard her hum ‘yes’ as you wedged the tire iron near the latch as best as you could. You only had to wait a few moments for the car to slow down before you yanked down the tire iron as hard as you could and popped the trunk open.

“Run!” You screamed as you gripped your new weapon in your still taped hands and helped Frankie out of the trunk. The two of you took off like bullets as the car screeched to a halt behind you. “Stay in the road!” You yelled as you pushed her with the bent end of the crow bar to run between the two lanes of cars. You could see the ocean in front of you and you kept telling yourself that you were going to make it back home as you dipped through traffic to get home. Your legs ached and your lungs burned with each breath in the heavy humidity, but you didn’t let that stop you. You just knew that if you stopped, you’d be dead.

“Here, turn here!” You shouted over the dozens of horns from drivers angry at you for one reason or another. Frankie followed your instructions blindly as you ran down the main strip back toward the port. You could see your husband’s figure, looming over the cops around him a few blocks up and you let out a sigh of relief. “OPIE!” He whipped around and even from a distance you could see the range of emotions roll though his being. He took off at a run with the stroller to get to you as your father shoved another tourist out of his way to get to Frankie.

“PPE 95 71.” You said as you held out the crow bar to him. “Silver Nissan Sentra. Before 2002.”

“OK, OK. Let me…”

“I got it.” You said as he reached to help you get the duct tape. You lifted your hands above your head, stuck your elbows as far as they would go, and pulled your palms toward your stomach hard, and fast, just like Negan was teaching Frankie. The second you were free, Opie pulled you into his arms and you began to shake violently.

“You’re safe.” He whispered as he rubbed your back. “You’re safe now.”

“I wanna go back to the boat.” You said as tears fell from your eyes. “’s’not safe.”

“Alright, let’s go back.” He agreed with a nod.

“’s’not safe.” You repeated as you looked over at your son. “’s’not safe.” You took a step over and tried to unbuckle the straps to the carseat but you were shaking too badly to do so.

“Hey, hey.” Opie said as he stepped over and gently grabbed your wrists. “Look at me.” Your tear filled whipped up to his hazel ones as he gently pulled off the rest of the tape and dropped it on the ground by the tire iron. “Let’s get on the boat first. It’s… it’s too hot out to carry him all the way back in the sun without the fan.” You nodded your head, not really hearing his reasoning but trusting your husband with your life and your safety.

“She OK?” Negan asked as he held Frankie to his chest. Opie nodded as he moved you between his body and the stroller. 

“She wants to go back to the ship.” Negan nodded as the police stepped forward to get a statement. They started rapid firing questions, making you more and more uncomfortable. You needed space, you needed to get away, and you really needed to feed your crying son.

“I just wanna go!” You screamed at them as you tried to push the stroller forward.

“OK, we’re going.” Opie said with a nod as he purposely boxed you in against the stroller. “Pull the cover down, hun.” You nodded numbly and did what was asked as Negan tried to lead Frankie after you. And officer made the mistake of stepping in his way and you turned your head over at the sound of his growl.

“I suggest you get the FUCK out of my fucking way!” He roared as he picked Frankie up in his arms. “We’ve got nothing to fucking say and you can’t fucking keep us here. You want a formal statement, you can fucking contact Romeo Parada!” Hearing the well known cartel member’s name, the officers instantly stepped back and let him through. “(Y/N), walk.” You nodded your head and continued walking toward the port in front of Opie.

“You called Romeo?” You asked your dad as he shifted his shocked girlfriend in his arms.

“Abso-fucking-lutely.” He said with a nod. “He’s flying here now. The CIA has been trying to keep track of fucking sex traffickers in Mexico.” You felt Opie stumble a bit behind you as his head whipped over to your dad.

“CIA?”

“Not now.” Negan said as he turned down the docks toward the boat. “Later.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Opie didn’t know what to do or how to help… and he was a little confused that you didn’t seem more fazed by what happened. He did know, however, that you wouldn’t admit if he wasn’t right up against you, you were silently freaking out. So he sat on the bed, with you between his legs, and Hunter in front of your crossed legs so you could hold him up on the bed to work his leg muscles more. 

“He’s getting close to crawling.” You said a little flatly as you studied the little boy’s face, noticing how he looked more and more like Opie each and every day. “I almost missed it…”

“But you didn’t.” He said as he rubbed your back. “You get to see it.” You nodded your head and startled the slightest bit when someone knocked on the door. “It’s alright, baby girl.” He said as he pulled his long leg back and scooted around you to see if it was yet another member of the cruise staff, Negan, or Romeo. Your whole body stiffened as you pulled Hunter toward you until Romeo walked into the room with two members of the Mexico police. 

“PPE 95 71.” You repeated with a sigh of relief.

“OK, hold on.” Romeo said as he came over to give you a kiss on the cheek. “Let me get set up. Then start from the beginning.” You nodded your hand as you reached out your hand for your husband. He moved back behind you as Romeo pulled out a tape recorder and did his introduction for an official CIA case. When he was done, one of the officers did the same thing for his recorder.

“We were just looking for the Starbucks to use the bathroom.” You started as you kept your eyes on the happy little boy who was more interested with his cardboard colors and shapes book than anything else. “We stopped at the corner a block away and I looked over as the guy put a small caliber revolver in Frankie’s back between her shoulders. I didn’t see him until later but he was tall… about five ten maybe. Medium build, late twenties, early thirties. He had dark brown hair and a short beard. Kinda like my dad’s but colored like Opie’s.” You said as you turned around to look at your husband. “Darker on the sides but a decent amount of grey in the middle.”

“Your dad taught you well.” Romeo commented as you turned back around. You nodded in agreement as you took a deep breath to continue. 

“He wanted me to be prepared just in case. Guy had dark brown eyes, almond shaped, and a scar across his left cheek. Small, about an inch long. Lighter tan skinned, black t-shirt that said something in Spanish I couldn’t understand. Could have been Portuguese. He told us to walk and turned me to the right. We passed 5A and 3A Avenida Sur before he turned us down a little alley where his early 2000 model, Silver Nissan Sentra, white license plate PPE 95 71 was waiting. He made me tape Frankie’s wrists and then he taped mine. Once the trunk was closed, I found a tire iron in the spare tire part and popped the latch. I told Frankie to run between the cars so it would block us from view if the car turned around to come back or whatever. And we didn’t stop running until we got back to Opie.” Romeo nodded his head as he continued to jot down notes. 

“Is there anything else you can remember? Tattoos…?”

“Yea… he had a tattoo on his right upper arm. Could only see the bottom of it.” He nodded his head as his cell phone rang in his pocket.

“Anything else, mija?” He asked as he silenced his phone and came over to sit down on the end of the bed. “You’ve given me so much detail already and I’m so proud of you.” You nodded your head as he smiled at your son, said hi, and pulled out his badge to let the boy play with it. 

“I just tried to stay calm.” You told him as you sat your son down so he could play with the badge until he lost interest. “That’s all I could do. I knew I could make a run for it when he grabbed us at the corner. But I didn’t think Frankie’d be able to keep up if I did. And I couldn’t leave her alone.”

“You did good, mi corazón.” He repeated as he gently touched your leg. “I’m very, very proud of you.”

“Do you think you’d even be able to find this guy?” Opie asked as he continued to rub your back.

“We’ve been closing in on this group.” The first officer said as he flipped his notebook closed and put it in his pocket while Romeo and the second officer turned off their recorders. “Four women taken in a similar situation. Only one of them made it out. She didn’t have nearly as many details but they tried to drug her after they took her out of the trunk. She just happened to have recently gotten sober so her tolerance was pretty high. But she didn’t know where she was or how she got away from there. Just that she had been taken, and drugged.” You nodded your head and looked back down at your little boy as he pushed himself up on all fours like he had been trying for days and looked at the badge he had throw a few feet away.

“Ope.” You whispered as your son rocked back and forth.

“How old is he now?” Romeo asked as he dismissed the other officers with a wave of his hand.

“Six and a half months.” You said with a smile as your little boy got his hand out from under him and put it out in front of his body. It was as far as he had gotten without falling in the past but you knew he’d get there.

“He’s so beautiful.” You nodded your head and silently cheered your son on when he got his other hand in front of him, and scooted forward on his chunky legs.

“He’s going to be trouble one day.” You giggled as your little man apparently mastered the art of crawling in less than three weeks. “We got a crawler.”

“Now it’s time to baby proof the house.” Opie said as your son crawled over to Romeo’s badge and flopped down beside it to pick it back up to chew on it with his one bottom tooth some more until the undercover CIA agent had to leave the boat.

Part 9

[originalhybridloverfics]

Bodyguard CH7

A/N: Here’s the next chapter, I hope you enjoy it. I apologize for any mistakes.

Felicity worked tirelessly pulling up the man’s file only to realize he was Andrew Evans, ex-boyfriend to Deniece Carter. Deniece was one of the first women she took in. She had been 24 and was hospitalized on several occasions with signs of not only physical abuse but sexual abuse. It was recorded that she had a miscarriage due to her fiance’s abuse. She hadn't known she was pregnant until she lost the baby. Deniece had been hesitant to come to the shelter. She had refused Felicity’s help on several occasions. Felicity had kept trying because she wanted better for the young woman. Deniece changed her mind however when she learned she was pregnant for the second time. Wanting to protect her unborn child she sought out Felicity for help. 

Deniece stayed with the shelter until the baby was born and then Felicity had set her up in a small town in North Carolina with a job at a newspaper thanks to Deniece’s reporter degree. She had set her up with a new name and identity and paid for an apartment lease for the next sixth months, she had used money from freelance jobs at major companies to do so. She kept in touch with Deniece every now and then. She knew Deniece was doing well and her daughter, Megan, just had her second birthday. Andrew Evans had a record that would make anyone cringe. Assault, drunk driving, drug possession and so on. He was someone to be wary of but Felicity wasn’t going to let his sudden appearance shake her up. If he was showing up now and approaching her directly, it was because he was trying to find Deniece again and Felicity wasn’t about to let that happen and clearly, he couldn’t be that bright approaching her and thinking she couldn't figure out who he is. She pulled up the files and printed them out, she gave a call to Lance, planning to meet with him. She was just hanging up the phone when Oliver pushed his way into her office, followed closely by Diggle. “So what did you find out?” Oliver asked, sitting in the chair in front of her desk. Felicity stood from her seat and retrieved the papers she just had printed out, placing them in a folder. “What makes you think I found something already?” “Because you’re Felicity Smoak and there’s nothing you can’t find out once you set your mind to it,” Oliver responded without missing a beat. Felicity smiled, she loved how much faith he had in her abilities. “Okay, so the man who approached me at the bar is Andrew Evans, he was the boyfriend of one of our former girls, Deniece Carter.” she moved around to the front of her desk, leaning against the edge and held the folder out. Diggle accepted the folder. “I remember her, she was pregnant when she came to us. She had a little girl, she named her Megan.” He opened the folder, looking over the information she gathered and the picture of Andrew Evans. “Felicity, you need to be careful, we know what that man was capable of doing to Deniece, a woman he claimed to love, there’s no telling what he’s capable of doing to someone he has no connection to.” Oliver frowned. “How bad of a guy is he? I thought we were dealing with the run of the mill woman beater.” “He’s possessive, controlling, has rumored ties to a local gang in the Glades who deal out crank and opioids, had girls working the streets.” Felicity listed off the facts they knew about Evans. “And physically and sexually abused his girlfriend. He caused her to have a miscarriage with their first child. His own family is so terrified of him they got restraining orders and ex parte just to keep him away.” Oliver jaw clenched at what he was hearing. “Sounds like this guy should have been locked up long before now.” He hated the idea that a guy like this had gotten so close to Felicity. It made him feel like he was failing at looking after her and that was not acceptable. Not by a long shot. “You can say that about a lot of criminals doesn’t mean it’s going to suddenly change,” Felicity stated. “I was able to find his current address and phone number. No employment currently. No shocker there.” “Oliver and I will check it out and find out exactly if he was the one behind the threats and the break-in. In the meantime, I’m putting Sara on your detail until we get back,” said Digg “What are you planning on doing?” Felicity wondered. Oliver's jaw clenched tossing the file onto her desk next to her. “We’re going to find this scum bag and put the fear of God into him.” he stepped toward her, his jean-clad legs brushing against hers, his hand locked around hers. “Last night is the only time this guy is getting anywhere near that close to you as he did.” She nodded, squeezing his hand. His words sounded like a promise to her. He was so damn determined to protect her. He never failed to make her feel safe. 

. Oliver drummed his finger against his pants leg impatiently as Diggle drove down to a neighborhood in the glades, passing by a corner where a business deal was being made and pulling up to a rundown two-story apartment building, the windows boarded up, furniture littering the porch, empty bottles scattered across the broken fenced yard. “Are you sure this is the place?” Oliver asked looking out the window. “You would think a drug dealer could afford a better place than this.” “Maybe, he doesn’t care about living in a rundown house. Could be he wanted to stick close to his area of dealing.” Diggle suggested. “Keep an eye on who was moving in on his old streets.” “He used to deal in this area?” Oliver looked around, noting the two men in hooded sweatshirts on the corner, the streetwalker just across the street, talking to a man through a car window, her chest barely covered. “He used to run this area and a couple more but this was the area he was most known for selling his drugs and working his girls.” Diggle turned the ignition off to the car. Oliver exited the vehicle and walked up the path to the house, Digg rounded the car and fell into step with him. Oliver stepped over shatter glass from a broken bottle and onto the porch, kicking away the pile of newspapers that littered the porch. “Doesn’t look like he’s been here in a while,” Digg commented, crouching low and sifting through the dates on the old roll-up newspapers. “The latest is dated back at least three weeks.” Oliver tried to peer into the windows but it was too boarded up for him to make out the slightest detail from inside. He moved back toward and knocked on it. His fist rapping loudly on the door. Digg listened closely shook his head. “I don’t hear any movement from the inside.” Oliver nodded, he looked around and saw no one seemed to be paying the slightest attention to them, he brought his knee up and slammed his foot into the door, kicking it open. Digg and Oliver entered the home, their guns raised and searched it room from room, taking in how the doors had been emptied, a few stray packed boxes scattered through the house. Oliver moved toward the bedrooms while Digg moved toward the kitchen. Oliver frowned, stepping into the bedroom, the mattress was stripped, the closet wide open and empty of clothing, plastic and wire hangers littering the floor, drawers pulled out of the dresser. He cursed under his breath realizing the man had cleared out. He heard a noise behind him and saw Digg in the doorway, slipping his gun back into its holster. “The rest of the house is clear.” Oliver nodded, holstering his own gun. “He’s gone. Looks like he cleared out.” Diggle nodded his agreement. “I’m under the same impression, The kitchen’s been cleared as well as the other rooms. All emptied out and by the amount of dust gathering around this place and the newspapers on the porch, he's been gone a couple of weeks.” Oliver nodded clenching his jaw. “Let’s get back. Hopefully, Felicity can find another way to find his location.”

Felicity had been disappointed to find out Andrew had already cleared out of his old address. She sent Oliver and Digg to scout out his old hangouts but he was a no-show. She gave Lance a picture of Andrew Evans and filled him in on the situation as much as she could. Lance circulated Andrew's photo around the precinct with little detail other than he was a person of interest not having a lot to go on as of his whereabouts. Felicity had spent the rest of the day, using facial recognition and every tracking program she knew but she was coming up empty. Oliver let her work without disturbing her hoping she would get a hit, only interrupting to urge her to take breaks and eat something. She barely noticed when the sun fell, barely noticed that she had worked all through the night and that morning had come again. She was a little surprised that Oliver hadn’t insisted she call it a night. Obviously, he really wanted to find Andrew just as much as she did. She chanced a glance at him, he stood by her open door, tension clear in his body. “Why don’t you take a walk, Oliver, or you can go home and get some rest,” Felicity suggested in concern. Oliver turned his gaze to her, his eyes piercing through her. “I’m not leaving here without you and I don’t need rest.” “You’ve been up almost twenty-four hours.” Felicity countered. “So have you, I’ll rest when you do,” he said, arching a brow at her pointedly. Felicity pursed her lips. She would not be resting until the end of the day. “Oliver,” Felicity sighed. “You’re tense.” “I don’t need to be told that,” he said shortly then grimaced. “I’m sorry I don’t mean to be so short with you. I’m just frustrated about not finding this guy yet.” “I know, so am I.” she slipped her glasses off and rubbed at her forehead. “I’m running out of ideas.” Diggle appeared in the doorway. “I think we’re on edge with this guy out there possibly painting a target on your back.” He looked between the two. “You guys have been here all night, haven’t you?” “Is it that obvious?” Felicity wondered. “Just a bit,” said Diggle, looking at Oliver. “You look about ready to climb the walls.” Oliver shot him a look. “I just have some frustrations to work out.” “Then hit the training room, I’ve got our girl from here.” Oliver opened his mouth to protest but she cut him off before he could get a word out. “Go. I’ll be fine. It might do you some good.” Oliver huffed out a breath. “Fine.” he looked to Digg. “Make sure she gets breakfast in an hour and another cup of coffee. She's running on nothing but fumes already.” Felicity rolled her eyes as he headed out. Diggle moved into the room. “Are you sure you don’t want to take a moment, too? You look stressed. Maybe taking a moment to relax will help.” “Of course I’m stressed. This bastard’s in the wind and I have no idea what he’s planning.” she snapped but a moment later, she was looking at Diggle apologetically. “I’m sorry I didn’t mean to snap at you. I’m just feeling on edge.” “It’s understandable,” Digg assured her. “I think we’re all a little on edge. No one can blame you for that. I’m here if you want to talk though or if you just want to take a moment to yourself and decompress.” Felicity smiled at him gratefully. “I know and I appreciate it.” 

Oliver’s fist slammed into the bag repeatedly, ignoring the heat burning through his muscles, or the sweat that slid down his back and neck, gathering on his arms, his brow. He didn’t know how long he had been at it, just that the ache coursing through his muscles was a welcome distraction as he pummeled his frustrations into the bag. “Hit that bag any harder and you might just tear a hole through it.” Sara's voice sounded from behind him. He gripped the bag stopping its motion and turned to her, wiping a hand down his face. “Better the bag than someone innocent.” Sara nodded. “If you wailed on some poor soul as you did on that bag you would be going to jail for murder but hey, maybe my dad will give you a pass if its a scum bag like Andrew Carter.” Oliver didn’t react to her attempt at humor. “Did you know who he was when he approached Felicity that night?” “Hell no, I wouldn’t have let him anywhere near our girl if I knew who he was,” Sara said fiercely. “I would have beat the crap out of him before delivering his ass to my dad for questioning. I mean, it’s a hell of a coincidence this guy pops up right after the break-in at Felicity's home.” Oliver nodded. “I was thinking the same thing. Did you come early because of what is going on?” “Oliver it’s almost midnight, I figured you might want to call it a day,” Sara suggested. “I didn’t realize.” How the hell did he spend the entire day in here working off his frustrations? “Clearly.” Sara tossed him a towel and a water bottle. “Hit the shower, Digg’s gonna head home once you and Felicity clear out for the night.” Oliver nodded, he followed Sara out of the gym and split off from her without a word heading for the showers just across the hall. “Nice talking to you, too,” Sara called after him, moving back down the hall. Oliver kept his shower short, while the water felt amazing against his aching muscles, the need to check on Felicity and her progress was more important. He changed into a pair of jeans and a white t-shirt and headed for Felicity’s office. Diggle was standing guard, speaking with Sara but turned to him as he approached. “How are you feeling? When I said work out your frustrations, I didn’t think you be in the gym all day.” “Did Felicity have any luck in finding new leads on Carter?” asked Oliver. “No, hopefully, tomorrow she'll have better luck when she's more rested,” Digg answered. “As it is, she at least needs eight hours.” “You made sure she took breaks to eat, right?” “I did. She's good on that front but she needs rest.” Oliver nodded, clapping Digg on the shoulder. “Go on home to your family. I got it from here.” Digg nodded and exchange his goodbyes and headed out. Oliver pushed the door to Felicity's office open, frowning when he saw her slumped over her desk, having fallen asleep at her desk. He moved around her desk, quietly powering down her systems knowing she had a prior system for running programs that would keep going. He grabbed her bag with one hand settling it in her lap and gently lifted her into his arms. Her body seemed to curl into his instinctively, her cheek pressed into his shoulder and her hands gripping his shirt. “Do you need any help?” Sara stood just outside the doorway of Felicity's office. “No, I got it,” he answered, passing by her. “I'll see you tomorrow.” Sara nodded and even though she said he didn't need any help, she walked out with her to Felicity's car and held the passenger door open. He settled Felicity into the seat and she didn't so much as stir. He reached over buckling in her seatbelt and quietly closed the door. He nodded at Sara and rounded the car, getting into the driver seat and pulled away.

Oliver gently pulled back the covers on the bed and generally laid Felicity down, taking her hands in his releasing her grip on his shirt. He paused, debating whether or not to wake her up to change into something more comfortable to sleep in but one look at her peaceful expression he decided against it. He moved down to her feet and eased her high heels off her feet, before gripping the covers and pulling them up to her shoulders tucking her in. He smiled softly when she turned her head to the left, turning on her side and burrowing further into her pillow. His hand reached out moving a strand of her hair away from her face, leaning down he pressed a kiss to her forehead unconsciously, the action coming to him so naturally. He stood slowly and moved out of the room, casting one more look at her sleeping form. He moved into the kitchen and whipped him up something quick and fast to eat, a simple turkey sandwich not really bothering with anything more. Once he finished his food he checked on Felicity one more time. She was still resting snuggled into the covers her hands curled in the fabric. He couldn’t help the small smile that pulled at the corner of his mouth. Closing her door back, he slipped into his own room and kicked off his shoes, and stripped out of his jeans and shirt, too tired for anything more now that he was home with Felicity sleeping close by. He collapsed onto his bed. It didn't take long for him to fall asleep.

Oliver tensed, spatula in hand, hearing the tell-tale sign of his front door being open. Other than himself and his sister no one else had access to his home. “Ollie, are you home?” He relaxed at the sound of his sister's voice and turned to the doorway just as Thea entered the room. “Hey,” Thea smiled in greeting. “Something smells good.” “I was just fixing breakfast. Did you want some?” Oliver asked as Thea took a seat at the counter. Thea glanced down at all the food spread out. It looked like there was plenty to go around. Toast, bacon, sausage and gravy and pancakes. “I could eat besides I doubt you could eat this all by yourself.” “Oh, I wasn't planning on it,” Oliver responded as he got down a set of plates. “Oh, do you have someone coming over then?” “Not exactly.” Oliver glanced at her. “Not exactly?” Thea repeated. “Wh-” “Hey, Oliver, is there coffee made yet?” Felicity stepped into the kitchen still dressed in her clothes from the day before, expecting to see only Oliver but that wasn't the case. There was a very pretty brunette seated at the counter. “I’m sorry, I didn't realize Oliver was having company over this morning.” Felicity apologized, she looked at Oliver uncertainly. “I was gonna say the same thing except maybe I should say I wasn't aware he had company staying over.” Thea turned her gaze to her brother. “Really, Ollie, I thought you were done with taking random women to bed?” Felicity flushed. “It’s not like that. I did not spend the night in his bed. The chances of that happening are very low.” Oliver arched an eyebrow at her and Thea sent her an unconvinced look and it only made her flush harder. “Not that you’re not attractive or that I haven’t thought about it,” Felicity told Oliver. “I mean, clearly a night spent in your bed would no doubt be great-” her eyes widened. “Oh, for the love of God can someone please stop me before I embarrass myself further.” Oliver chuckled, turning the stove off low, laying the spatula down and placing it on the counter before moving toward Felicity and settling his hand on her shoulder. “You have nothing to be embarrassed about. I enjoy your rambles.” “I’m sure that’s not all you enjoy.” Thea scoffed, scrutinizing them with her gaze. “Thea,” Oliver said sharply. “I would appreciate if you didn’t make snide remarks about Felicity.” Thea’s arms fell to her side. “Felicity?” her eyes widened. “Your new boss, Felicity?” “Yes.” Oliver nodded. Her brow furrowed. “Why are you sleeping with your boss?” “We’re not sleeping together. Felicity’s had some threats to her safety and her home was broken into. She’s staying with me until her contact with the police catches the one responsible.” “Oh,” Thea's eyes fell, looking contrite. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know.” she stepped forward holding out her hand. “Thea Queen. Ollie’s little sister.” Felicity cast a look at Oliver. So this was the little girl in his photos around his place all grown up. “Felicity Smoak.” she shook her hand. “I know. Ollie’s mentioned you a few times.” Thea cast a teasing look at her brother. “Thea,” he sighed, ears turning red. “Oh, yeah?” asked Felicity. “Yeah, he said how much he enjoyed working with you.” Thea paused. “I don’t know exactly what you do. Ollie, wouldn’t tell me much other than that you help people in bad situations. I think that’s admirable.” “Thank you.” Felicity nodded. “And it’s great to meet you.” “You too,” Thea looked her over and then looked at her brother. “You’re really not sleeping together?” “No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.” Felicity shook her head. “That is in no way happening or ever will. For one I don’t mix my personal life with my business one and secondly, I’m not his type. Oliver doesn’t see me that way.” Felicity took a step back. “I’m gonna hit the shower, get changed into something else. It was great meeting you, Thea.” “You too,” Thea called as the blonde disappeared out of the kitchen and turned to her brother.  “So that was Felicity.” Oliver frowned, looking at where Felicity had been standing. Felicity had denied so vehemently that they were sleeping together and while that was true that wasn’t what bothered him. It didn’t even bother him all that much that she was under the impression she wasn’t his type. No, what bothered him was that she didn’t even seem to consider him beyond her obvious attraction for his body. “Ollie, you okay?” Thea asked in concern. “Yeah,” he answered after a moment moving back toward the stove, returning to fixing pancakes. “I’m fine.” Thea smiled sympathetically. “She has no idea how you feel about her, does she?” Oliver’s head jerked up. “What?” “Oh, C’mon, Ollie, it was clear as day, the way your whole face lit up when she was talking. It was like Christmas morning.” Thea insisted. “Doesn’t matter.” Oliver dismissed, flipping the pancake he had going. “You heard her she’s not interested in started something with someone she works with.” Thea clucked her tongue. “You can’t control how you feel and if she returns your feelings even a little bit, it’s only a matter of time.” Oliver’s lips tugged up at the corners at her words as he made her a plate and slid it across to her. “Enough, playing matchmaker, Speedy. Eat your breakfast.” Thea sent him a playful glare and made a show of taking a bite from a strip of bacon. Oliver chuckled in amusement, shaking his head fondly. 

Breakfast with Oliver and his sister had been interesting, to say the least. Felicity had enjoyed listening to them bicker playfully which only increased when Thea had started telling her embarrassing stories of Oliver from their childhood much to her brother’s dismay. She loved seeing Oliver laugh with his sister, the way his eyes softened. It was heartwarming to see. Felicity genuinely liked Thea once they got past their first initial meeting, she seemed like a nice young woman. She was witty and smart and kind and she loved teasing her brother for the fun of it. Felicity could see the love they shared easily and it made her think of her own mother and that she should make an effort to talk to her more.   She has been so busy with the shelter and her freelance work, she barely had time to focus on other things to the point she hadn’t spoken to her mother in weeks and hadn’t seen her in over a year. Maybe when this was over she would take some time off and leave John and Oliver in charge for a bit and head out to Vegas and visit her mom for a week or two. Thea left shortly after breakfast and Felicity and Oliver headed into the shelter. Felicity checked on her running programs, she still had nothing regarding Carter but after a good night's rest, she was confident it was only a matter of time before she did get a hit on one of her programs. She looked up when her office door was pushed open by Oliver. “Roy is here with Miss Waltkins.” he opened the door wider and admitted Roy and Gina inside. Felicity stood from her desk, rounding to greet Gina as she stepped in her office. “Welcome, Gina, I’m glad you are here. You’re doing the right thing.” Gina nodded. “I hope so.” “You are,” Felicity assured her. “I hope you finished up with the things you said you had to do before coming here.” “I have.” Gina nodded, she glanced at Roy. “Thank you for looking after me.” Roy nodded. “It was nothing.” “Thank you, Roy.” Felicity nodded at him. “You can return to usual post starting today.” “Got it.” Roy nodded in confirmation and knowing that was Felicity's polite way of dismissing him from her office, he turned and headed. Felicity turned her attention to Gina focusing completely on her. “Have a seat, please.” she gestured to the chair in front of her desk before rounding it and taking a seat behind it. “Now, I'm just gonna need a few things from you and then we'll get you settled in a room and I'll show you around so you can familiarize yourself with the place.” Gina nodded slowly. “What do you need from me?” “You're cell phone if you have one but don't worry I'll be giving you a new one. I will need your family and friends contacts information, business contacts. Then I will need your email and social media handles, I know it might seem drastic but I'm just covering my basis so I can monitor if Michael tries to contact you. Your safety is my top priority.” “Okay,” Gina nodded accepting the clipboard Felicity held out to her and placed her phone on Felicity's desk. Felicity reached into her desk and pulled out a burner phone and handed it to her. “Your welcome to talk to my family but you should avoid contact with Michael or people who are in contact with him as a safety precaution." Gina nodded, accepting the burner phone and began filling out the information Felicity requested. Felicity rested back in her seat, turning her focus to the programs she had running. Still no hit on Evans

“Now we do offer self-defense classes if you're interested. It's not required but it is an option we give everyone here.” Felicity said as they finished up the tour, she pushed a door open and stepped inside. Gina followed her in and she was surprised by how much it looked like a dorm room more than anything except instead of two beds there were four and the room was bigger than your average dorm room. “This place isn't anything like I expected it would be.” “I hope that's a good thing.” Felicity smiled. “It is,” Gina nodded. “I know I gave you a hard time when we first met. It just this is hard.” Felicity took her hand in a show of support and understanding. “I know, it's hard to admit there's a problem when the person you love is the one who is hurting you and I'm sure it doesn't make it easy when your heart is telling you, you're still in love with him after everything. But you did the best thing for yourself.” she dropped Gina’s hand. Gina nodded, opening and closing her mouth as if she wanted to say something but couldn't quite get the words out. Felicity frowned. “Is there something else?” “No,” Gina shook her head. “I was just wondering if I ever just need someone to talk to..” she trailed off uncertainly. Felicity smiled comfortingly. “My door is always open and I may talk a lot but I'm also a really good listener.” “Thank you,” Gina said gratefully. “Your welcome.” Felicity turned to leave. “I'm going to let you get settled in.” she offered Gina one last smile. Walking back down the hall, she checked the time on her phone. it was almost time for her self-defense class with Digg and Oliver. Oh, joy, her favorite part of the day. Well, at least she will have the beautiful sight of Oliver shirtless. The thought had heat fanning across her cheeks. It wasn't very professional of her to ogle her employee but she was only human after all.

Felicity hit the mat hard, she grunted against the floor. “You’re leaving yourself open,” Oliver stated, grabbing her arm and pulling her back to her feet. “Clearly or else I wouldn’t be getting flattened into the ground.” She muttered rolling her shoulders. “I didn’t flatten you,” Oliver stated, moving behind her and rubbing her shoulders. “You okay?” “I’m fine.” Felicity bit her lip to keep from making any sounds. His hands felt good on her shoulders. His hands felt good on her body. Period. “Here.” Digg handed her a towel and a bottle of water. She accepted the towel wiping the sweat from her arms and torso and then placed the towel around the back of her neck, opening the bottle of water and taking a large drink.   Her phone buzzed on a table at the edge of the room where she left it. “Do you want to get that?” Oliver asked, dropping his hands from her shoulders, accepting a towel from Diggle. “No, let the voicemail get it.” She murmured distractedly as her eyes followed the movements of Oliver's hand as he wiped down his glistening chest and abs. She swallowed thickly, her eyes jerking back up when her phone fell silent only to start ringing again. “Has Lance had any luck on his end?” Diggle questioned. “No.” Felicity shook her head. “I talked to him earlier but he assured me he’s not giving up on finding him. He’s looking into other leads, searching for some of Evan former contacts.” The sound of her phone ringing again filled the air and she sighed, wiping her sweaty palms on her black yoga pants and crossed the room to answer her phone, frowning when she didn’t recognize the number flashing across the screen. After a brief moment of hesitation, she swiped her thumb across the green answer icon and placed her phone against her ear. “Hello?” “Hello, I’m looking for a Miss Felicity Smoak. This is detective Miller.” “This is her,” Felicity answered, her voice falling into her business tone when she heard it was a detective she was speaking to. “What can I do for you, Detective?” Felicity listened carefully, her face paling as his next words echoed in her head, her eyes widened in shock. “I’m sorry to inform you Miss Smoak but Cooper Seldon escaped prison 5 days ago and with your history, it is a high possibility you could be in serious danger until he is found and apprehended. Felicity slowly lowered her phone from her ear, her face ashen, his words echoing in her mind on a loop. Cooper Seldon escaped prison 5 days ago.   Cooper Seldon escaped prison 5 days ago.   Cooper Seldon escaped prison 5 days ago.   Her heart pounded against her ribs, her chest tightening. How the hell did this happen? And why the hell was she just finding out now?

A/N: Reblogs, comments and likes are encouraged.  Tags: @scu11y22 If anyone else wishes to be tagged let me know!

[browneyes-issac]

Birthday surprise part two: The surprise.

Jack " Whiskey " Daniels x Oberyn Martell x Frankie Morales x F!reader

Warnings: fluffy cuteness. Making out. It's so cute and cheesy, nothing really explicit at all.

AN: today is my birthdayyyy!! 🎉 🥰 This was supposed to just be one part that I was going to post today, but it got out of hand when I was seeing up their backgrounds.. Sooo I made it into two parts! 🤣💞 I am not even reading through this to check anything because I wrote this in like two ish hours and I am tireddddd! 😆 but if I messed up majorly on something, shot me an ask or dm and I'll fix it. 💕 ( gonna set this to post at 5am. I might be up by then, may not.. But want this posted in case I forget, lol.💞 )

The gif used will be explained at the end of this.. 💗🤭

Summary: It's your birthday and it's too damn hot to do anything, so you're staying home with the ac.. But the boys have a better idea for your birthday.

Birthday surprise masterlist

Main masterlist

So what happened when you were about to turn 26?? 🤔👀

26 is Jack and your's favorite number so as soon as it hit six months until your birthday he started planing this big thing to confess his love for you completely.

He was by far nervous as hell, but he is very confident that you still feel the same way because of what happened when you guys were 24. And he knew had his brothers to be there for him always. Even if you did lose feelings for him, he feels like it wouldn't weird things up between you guys. Since you have know each other for so long and know everything about one another.

~~~~

Obee ( what you started calling Oberyn after two years of friendship) and Frankie of course knew and helped Jack out. Yes they had their past flings with you and such, and duhh loved you beyond words. But they both knew yours and Jack's hearts belonged to each other. They weren't jealous, they know that love is a very tricky thing to understand so they just have went along with it and never really complained because they never want to loose either of you..

Your birthday is during the summer so Jack knew it was going to be hot no matter what on your birthday because you guys lived in Texas. So he planned a trip to North Carolina. You have always wanted to go there and the weather is reasonable, unlike Texas. NC is hot during the summer, but it is on the cooler side and the freaking ocean is right beside it!! So theres a perfect and gorgeous place to go swimming and cool off.

The plan is to get you packed up secretly the day before your birthday so you all can get on the plane to get to NC. Obee is on that duty, because yes Frankie is organized but not in the packing department; especially when it comes to packing for a trip. So he is on grocery shopping for the simple necessities, getting the beach house rented out. All the typical dad things to do before a trip.

Jack's job was to keep you occupied and think that him and the boys weren't doing anything this year for your birthday. Which flabbergasted you and kinda made you upset. Since ya know 26 is your favorite number and the boys know that. So you decided that you were going to rent some of your favorite movies, get your favorite meal and cake, and stay home since it's too damn hot to be outside. Little did you know that wasn't what was gonna happen.

~~~~~~

It's the day of the day to leave for NC!!! The nerves wit Jack are through the roof but he's keeping them are bay until it's time to start the surprise.

You wakup at little past 8am since you took a three day weekend off for your birthday. Which was changed by Frankie secretly for the trip... When you walk into the kitchen Jack is the only on in there, Obee and Frankie are no where to be found which is very odd; because they all three are always up before you and have breakfast going. Not today it's just Jack.

You stop in your tracks because the dining room and table are decorated in birthday themed things but also two beautiful vases of flowers, and gorgeous & delicious looking food.. But their is only two plates set.. 🤔

" Jack, what in the world is going on?? Where is the boys and what is all this?! It's gorgeous but what the hell? " you question him while putting up your hair for the day. And you say the last sentence with small smile and giggle.

" well my sweet darlin . I have a surprise for you and I made all this. The boys did help decorate and such but I did the cooking. " He says walking towards you and offering his hand to walk you to your chair to eat. He has this sweet and excited smile on his face the whole time.

" let's eat first and then I'll give you you're surprise. How's that sound darlin? " He ask while looking you in the eyes with so much adoration for you.

" has his eyes always been so gorgeous and such a beautiful shade of brown? " you ask yourself in your head.

" Y/N, sugar? Are you alright? You haven't said anything since you walked in.. " he says with a worryinf look on his face while he reaches for your hand,rubbing sweet delicate ccircles.

" I- yeah yes I'm fine. I'm just really shocked and blown away by all this. And really confused on what you are hiding. But yes let's eat, I'm excited to see the surprise but really nervous. " You say while squeezing his hand back and smiling shyly but excited.

Wait he has never called me sugar. What the hell is going on?? I won't ask though because I don't want to worry him.. You think to yourself while eating.

You guys chit chat a little while eating, just the basics of breakfast conversation. About 25 minutes later you guys are done eating. Jack gets up and takes your plates to the sink. Tells you to stay put while he quickly rises them and puts them in the dishwasher. After he is done he walks back to the table and sits next to you instead of across from you like he was earlier..

You start getting nervous so you start playing with your infinity bracelet like you always do when your nervous. Jack notices of course, he always does. He takes your hands and holds them for a few moments then takes one of his hands and hooks his two fingers under your chin to bring your eyes to look at him. Then he says...

" Y/N I love you. I always have, ever since the day I met you. I knew knew that day you were going to be my best friend and my person for the rest of our lives. I know we confessed to each other we had feelings for each other.. I was never upset that we never talked about it more. But this year, it feels different and I want you to know I love you unconditionally and I want to be more then just friends. If you'll have me, sugar? "

He has tears in his eyes, they are out of happiness because he loves you so much. You also do. You both at the same time to wipe each other's tears away. Which causes laughter to fill the room because you guys are so darn alike and care sooo much about each other.

" Jack, my sweet Jack. I feel the same way. The first day I already felt so comfortable with you and safe. I mean I was rambling up a storm, I never do that with anyone unless I know them. I agree with you completely, I've wanted to talk about us more, but I have been so nervous that you would have lost feelings over time and wouldn't want to do anything. So in other words.. Yes a million times yes Jack I want to be more then just friends. I love you so damn much. " You say with much more tears running down your face.

While you say the last part you lean forward to Jack.. He also leans forward. Then you guys kiss. In all the relationships you have had, you never felt this type of spark with them while kissing. It is like you both were made for each other. You guys move do effortlessly against each other's lips. Jack is the first to run his tongue across your lips. You slightly moan at that while you happily let him as you stand up to straddle his lap. He grunts a little that you let enter your mouth and out of pure happiness & arousal. Never breaking the kiss. Jack pulls you closer to himself while grinning against your lips each time you guys break for a few seconds of air. You make out what feels like forever.

Jack brakes away and leans his forehead against yours while running his hands all over your body so soothingly. You are doing the same but one hand is in his gorgeous curls running you fingernails up and down his scalp. He moans the most attractive one youve ever heard at you doing that.

" sugar, as much as I want to keep doing this and so much more. I have a second part to your surprise. " he says while grinning at you and cupping your face with one hand and looking into your eyes.

" Ok. Let's hear it then cowboy. " you say with the slyest smile on your face will running your hands over his chest.

" well I know you thought we weren't doing anything for your birthday this year.. But I have a trip planned for us four to go to North Carolina for a whole month for your birthday. I know you've always wanted to go there and to see the ocean. So I wanted to take you for your 26th and confess all of my love. Oberyn has all your stuff packed for you, he got it done while we were eating. Frankie is at the store getting some groceries for us to take. All we have to do is get dressed and ready, then go the airport and go.. " he tells you while hoping you aren't upset or anything.

You squeal loud but not too loud to hurt Jacks ears and kiss him so loving and passionate. " oh my god Jack!! I can't believe you did all that. I love you so much and I don't even know what to say, I'm so excited and ahhhh!! I'm completely speechless. " you say while smiling so big and kissing him all over his gorgeous face.

" Ok ok, I love all this kissing but let's get ready sugar so we can get going for you trip. I also have some surprise once we get there for you. But they are to be opened on your actual birthday. " he kisses you a few more times and has that evil gorgeous smirk on his face while he says the last part.

Before you get to far from him he smacks your butt playfully. You yelp out of surprise but grin because he did that.

To be continued... 🤭💞🤗

So the gif is happy dance time because they confessed fully and are all lovey dovey now. 💞🥰

But I hope you liked this part!! 🤗💞 I loved writing this one and I'm really loving this series. I'm not abandoned Memphis at all, I just gots lots of ideas for this one since it's my birthday weekend. So I'm writing away with it, lol. 🥰

AN after reading : Ok so of course this got away from me.. 😆🤷‍♀️ And I didn't end it on readers actually birthday... But I thought since I wrote so much I would stop after he told what her surprise is and confessed his love. I will most likely start working on part three on Monday. I don't want to over work myself too much since I put out part three of Memphis at the beginning of the week and I did both parts of this in pretty much a day.

I do apologize if the make out session was cringey or cheesy lol. I tried my best... 😆💞🙈

Taglist: @supernaturalgirl20 @heythere-mel @prolix-yuy @stxrrylunatic

If you would like to be added or removed from the list shoot me an ask or DM and I'll get it taken care of.. 🤗💞

[verminviscount]

Remember that story I wrote with eli i never posted?

Here it is. By the way, it’ll be a long one. you may notice im a master of double texting. everything in parentheses is our commentary. 

Me: *will add emojis later*

Me: here he is

Me: this is Gerald

Eli: Gerald is beautiful

Me: he likes to break gender roles

Eli: I see

Me: Gerald says thank you

Me: for calling him beautiful

Me: Gerald is opening a Q&A

Eli: what’s his fav color

Me: gerald likes green

Me: mint green

Eli: Ooo nice

Eli: What’s his sexuality

Me: Gerald is poly

Eli: cool

Eli: is he single

Me: yes

Eli: so I take it he’s looking for someone

Me: yes

Eli: *will add emojis later* 

Eli: This is Rebecca

Eli: She thinks that Gerald is cute

Me: Gerald thinks that Rebecca is sweet

Eli: She usually doesn’t do this but she is wondering if Gerald would like to grab coffee

Me: Gerald doesn’t drink coffee, but Gerald will get a hot cocoa with Rebecca

Me: whats Rebeccas favorite band?

Eli: Neither does Rebecca but she thought that’s what people say. She is flattered

Eli: She is v much still in love with mcr

Me: Gerald thinks that even if this doesnt work out, this will be a wonderful frenship

Eli: Rebecca is looking forward to this

Me: Gerald is outside Rebeccas house. 

Me: Gerald is ready to go to Starbucks with Rebecca

Eli: Rebecca is heading downstairs right now

Eli: She is v excited

Me: Gerald thinks Rebecca looks wonderful

Me: they go to Starbucks

Eli: Rebecca forgot to tell Gerald how good he looks

Eli: She offers to pay for the hot cocoa

Me: Gerald politely turns her down

Me: there is a woman glaring at Gerald

Eli: Rebecca starts to feel self conscious so she tries to start a conversation

Eli: She accidentally spills her drink

Me: the woman walks over and starts harassing Gerald over his fashion choices

Eli: Despite feeling embarrassed about the spill she stands up for Gerald 

Me: the womans husband comes over and apologizes for his wifes behavior, paying for Gerald and Rebeccas drinks

Eli: Rebecca asks Gerald is he’s okay

Eli: She reassures him that he looks great

Me: *will add emojis later* 

Me: Gerald is shaken, but he says he will be okay

Eli: *will add emojis later* 

Eli: Rebecca feels bad but tells him that he looks way better in a dress than that bitch

Me: Gerald hugs Rebecca and thanks her for standing up for him

Eli: Rebecca hugs him back and tells him that she would do it anytime

Eli: Rebecca will fight a bish

Me: Gerald gets his second hot cocoa and notices the barista has written his number on the cup

Eli: Rebecca tells Gerald that she would be okay with him calling the barista although she would be disappointed

Eli: She says she would be his wingman but she points to the huge stain on her shirt

Me: (Why is rebecca actually the best?) 

Eli: (only the best for Gerald) 

Me: Gerald texts the barista, but tells Rebecca maybe they could make it a polyam relationship if she and the barista are okay with it 

Me: (OT3 OT3 OT3) 

Eli: Rebecca has never done anything like that so she has to give it some thought

Me: Gerald respects that and takes the time to ask the barista

Eli: Rebecca thinks Gerald should know that she once dated the barista

Me: Gerald is a little surprised, and wants to know more

Eli: The barista is a great guy and they actually broke up because he needed to figure himself out

Eli: They have no bad blood

Me: Gerald is happy to hear that

Eli: Rebecca has decided that she is willing to give the polyam relationship a try

Me: the barista said the same thing

Eli: Rebecca is happy to hear that

Me: Gerald asks if Rebecca knows Carl and Nico 

[AUTHORS NOTE: that was the first story like this we wrote, I’ll post it if you’re interested, but you don’t have to know it for this to make sense] 

Eli: (oh no) 

Eli: Rebecca says that she is cousins with Nico although they aren’t exactly on good terms

Eli: That’s why she wasn’t at the wedding

Me: Carl and Gerald are twin brothers

Eli: Rebecca is surprised. She had a twin brother but he died sadly

Me: Gerald asks his name

Eli: Ace

Me: How old was Ace when he passed, and where did you guys live? 

Eli: Rebecca says they were 17 and they lived in North Carolina

Me: GERALD AND ACE WERE BEST FRIENDS

Eli: Rebecca is taken aback. She and Ace were v close and she had never heard about Gerald

Me: Gerald didn’t want anyone to know about him

Me: except Ace. Ace was special to Gerald 

Eli: Now that she thinks about it Ace did mention someone he cared deeply about but never gave a name

Me: Ace and Gerald had been dating for a few years before Ace died

Eli: Rebecca begins to cry. She remembers that Ace had been planning to come out on his 18th birthday. 

Me: Gerald feels awful that he made Rebecca cry

Me: (shit this got really depressing) 

Eli: Rebecca tells Gerald that it’s not his fault

Eli: (shit it did) 

Me: the barista comes over to comfort them (wtf is his name?)

Eli: (Chad???)

Me: (ew no he needs a cool name) 

Eli: (Rodney???)

Eli: (???)

Me: (hmm Michael) 

Eli: (okay) 

Eli: Rebecca appreciates Michael coming over but she decides she can’t be in a relationship with Gerald

Eli: Gerald meant too much to Ace for her to do that

Me: Gerald is heart broken, but understands

Me: (fUCC im like, about to cry) 

Eli: (im sorry sammy) 

Eli: Rebecca wishes Gerald luck in life and still wants him to date Michael

Me: Michael is crying and hugs Rebecca, wishing her the best

Me: Gerald kisses Rebeccas cheek and says he hopes she finds someone good enough for her

Eli: Rebecca tries not to cry as she says goodbye

Eli: she decides maybe its her turn to find herself and she decides to move away

Me: (AAAA MY HEART) 

Eli: (god this is so sad) 

Eli: (what have we done) 

Me: Michael asks Gerald out on a date. Gerald says yes, but he wants to help Rebecca move first

Me: Gerald wants to stay friends with Rebecca

Eli: Rebecca appreciates Gerald’s help. She invites him to have hot cocoa one more time before she leaves

Me: Gerald accepts

Me: (i am legit tearing up rn wtf) 

Eli: (this is happier although part of me wants to make it sad) 

Eli: (OK maybe not) 

Me: (screw it, let’s make it sad)

Eli: Rebecca is glad to spend this time with Gerald. She decides to break the news to him that she’s dying 

Eli: (ahhh what did i do) 

Me: (AHHH WHAT DID YOU DO) 

Eli: (IDK) 

Me: Gerald is devastated and asks if he can help

Eli: Rebecca says that she appreciates the offer but she doesn’t want him to be around when it happens. That’s the real reason why she’s moving. 

Me: Gerald asks what shes dying of

Eli: She has cancer

Me: (this is some john green book type shit right here) 

Eli: (oof) 

Me: (maybe hot cocoa can be our always) 

Eli: (my heart) 

Eli: (XD) [A/N yeah... both Eli and I are stuck in 2005.] 

Me: (same) 

Eli: Rebecca wishes she could stay have hot cocoa with Gerald all day but it’s time for her to leave

Me: Michael holds Gerald as he cries (bitch me too) Gerald says he will miss Rebecca and he hopes that if she dies from the cancer she will meet Ace again

Eli: Rebecca hugs the two of them and says she will tell Ace that Gerald is doing well (im not tho) 

Me: (we should end this story before i start full on sobbing) 

Eli: (im not crying you’re crying) 

Me: (were both crying, lets be honest here) 

Eli: (Rebecca leaves and everyoneliveshappilyeveraftertheehd???) 

Me: (that works) 

Me: *three years later* 

Eli: (why would you do that) 

Eli: (my heart can’t take anymore) 

Me: Rebecca beat the cancer, Gerald and Michael are engaged and Rebecca is Geralds best woman

Me: (dude dont worry happy ending) 

Me: THANK FUCC THATS OVER

Eli: oh yay

[eldritchsurveys]

1o4.

Do you prefer running or yoga? >> I don’t do either, but if I had to choose, I’d definitely choose yoga. 

Do you prefer Zumba or pilates? >> I don’t know enough about either to choose.

What is your favorite time of day to run, if you’re a runner? >> I don’t run.

What is your favorite store to buy planners from? >> I don’t buy planners, I just use my phone / Google Calendar, if I must.

Are you jealous of anyone right now? >> Nah.

Do you like spicy food? >> I love spicy food.

Do you prefer Asian or Mexican food? >> Asian.

What continent would you most like to visit? >> Hmm... I guess Europe? Or Africa. Asia? I obviously can’t choose.

Have you ever played Truth or Dare at 3am? >> Nope.

Does your local library have a summer reading program? >> I think so.

Do you take selfies every day? >> Nah.

Who knows everything about you? >> Can Calah, I suppose. No single person in meatspace knows anything approaching “everything” about me.

What color is your sleeping bag? >> I don’t have one.

When was the last time you used a sleeping bag? >> A few years ago, when I went camping in Brooklyn.

What is your favorite sleepover game? >> ---

What was your favorite Bratz doll? >> I don’t have one.

What was your favorite American Girl doll? >> Kirsten, I think.

Did you have a Barbie doll with your hair color? >> Yeah.

Are you ok? >> I’m all right.

How many months until your next birthday? >> Nine.

Do you have a best friend? >> I do not.

If there’s someone you want to be best friends with, who is it? >> Nah. I think my original assessment is correct -- a best friend is something that’s developed over time, with investment from both parties, not something that’s just declared because I will it so. (I mean, if that works for another set of best friends, then by all means. It’s just not how it’s going to work for me.)

Who do you wish you were dating? >> I’m good, lmao.

Is there anyone you miss? >> Nah.

Who do you hate and wish were dead? >> No one.

Are you bothered by your past? >> Not so much bothered by it as irritated that this is the life I had to end up living -- or, rather, that these are the people I had to deal with. From family onward, it’s just been a string of poor social experiences (not to discredit the few good social experiences I’ve had, but you know how the human brain is with pattern recognition, especially negative patterns). I’m surprised I’m as levelheaded about it as I am at all, and I should really be easier on myself when I do get fed the fuck up about it.

Do you like drawing or painting better? >> Drawing.

What did you always want to do as a kid but were never allowed to do? >> Watch cartoons.

Can you run fast? >> I mean, probably.

Does your local library give out prizes for summer reading? >> I don’t know, but probably.

What is your favorite ice cream topping? >> Sprinkles or oreo crumbles.

Do you want to die? >> Not even a little bit.

Is your Bible falling apart? >> No, actually, my Bible is still quite new-looking because I haven’t read it, lmfao. I keep putting off my theological studies.

Have you ever wondered if someone was an alien? >> Not seriously.

Have you ever wondered if someone was an angel? >> Inworlders, yeah.

Have you ever been asked if you were an angel? >> I don’t think so.

Have you ever been asked if you were an alien? >> I mean, maybe.

How do you draw aliens? >> The standard grey-boy kind, with the head shaped like a guitar pick and the big almond eyes.

Do you doodle in the margins of your notebooks? >> I used to.

What color is your favorite knitted scarf? >> I don’t even remember what scarves I have, I haven’t seen them since the beginning of the year.

Do you need new boots this year? >> Yeah, I need combat boots.

Do you have Christmas lights up in your room? >> I do. A poor man’s fairy lights, I guess.

Has a crush ever been mean to you? >> ---

What states have you been to? >> New York, New Jersey, North Carolina, Colorado, Louisiana, Michigan, Illinois, Pennsylvania, Delaware, South Carolina. I’ve been through a lot more, but I don’t count that.

What states have you lived in? >> New Jersey, New York, North Carolina, Colorado, North Carolina, Michigan.

What countries have you been to? >> Just this one.

Where would you most like to travel to? >> All the places.

Elephants or llamas? >> Elephants.

Does your heart hurt right now? >> No. I suppose it should, but we ain’t got time for that. Plus, I’m more angry than I am sad -- asshole moves piss me off. (Also, I’m mad as hell that a year after the Sigma situation, I ended up in a laughably similar position. But one thing I’m not is surprised, and not being surprised takes a lot of the sting out of the event. Catch me laughing about how ridiculous it was by September.)

What color is your bulletin board? >> I don’t have one. We have a whiteboard, though, and that’s exactly the colour you’d expect.

Are you hormones performing the way they are supposed to? >> Probably.

Which country’s flag is your favorite? >> I’m not sure, I never thought about it.

Are you part Irish? >> Nope.

What languages can you speak? >> Fluently? English.

Music or art? >> Music is art, so I’m gonna go ahead and choose art.

Cheetah print or plaid? >> Plaid.

Polka dots or paisleys? >> Paisley.

Have you ever been a witch for Halloween? >> Nope.

If you live in an apartment, is your landlord mean? >> Our rental office is staffed by pretty friendly people.

Who’s your favorite superhero? >> Doctor Strange. (Sorry, Anthony. You’re #2. :p)

Do you have a seashell collection? >> Nope.

Mermaids or dolphins? >> Hmm.

Who was your best friend in eighth grade? >> ---

Do you get bullied? >> Not now.

Do your parents love you? >> That seems doubtful.

Do you know what the Bible’s definition of religion is? >> I don’t. I wasn’t aware the Bible had an exact definition for religion (I know that the Bible defines how Christianity should be conducted, through Paul’s letters and whatnot, but that’s all I remember).

Do you feel alone? >> Actually, yeah, a lot of the time. We’re working on that.

What fashion essentials do you need that you don’t currently have right now? >> I’m not sure.

Do you normally wear jeans until they rip and wear out? >> I guess so.

What season’s colors do you look best in? >> ---

Do you want to start a business? >> Nah.

What did you go to college for? >> I didn’t.

Is abuse in your past? >> It is. Up to my very recent past, apparently.

Is there trauma in your past? >> There is.

Do you know anyone who’s been raped? >> Yeah.

How many tattoos do you have? >> Three.

Have you ever been rebellious? >> I was pretty much born rebellious.

Who do you look like? >> I don’t know, my family, I guess.

Are you a dog or cat person? >> Dog.

What do you hate? >> *shrug*?

[acuppellarp]

♬ Full Name: Regina “Reggie” María José Cliffton  ♪  FC: Victoria Moroles ♫ Alternate FCs: ♪ Age/Birthday: 24 / January 14,1995 ♫ Occupation: Student at Institute of Culinary Education, Medicinal Budtender ♪ Hometown: Carolina Beach, NC ♫ Personality: adventurous, reserved, cynical, humorous, ambitious

Rodrigo Águila and Gina Cliffton had a whirlwind romance that didn’t make sense, but didn’t matter because they had each other. Or so they assumed. They met during Gina’s year abroad to Brazil. She had been invited by some friends she made down there to go to a concert for a rock band from Mexico. They were getting a large following in South America and were playing a secret show at a local bar. It was an intimate venue as it was on the down low. It was there that Gina couldn’t take her eyes off the dreamy bass player and singer. While Rodrigo couldn’t take his eyes off the girl in the crowd with the American-80s style who was dancing wildly and making eyes at him. They fell hard and fast, not caring about the logistics of their romance and going with what felt right. His band continued to gain fame, but instead of focusing on school, Gina went along with him. Their love was in the public eye, but it was nothing too major as Rodrigo’s band was still gaining traction.

However, once Gina became pregnant with their first child, things changed. Now their relationship was being scrutinized as Gina was a US citizen on a quickly expiring student visa, now pregnant out of wedlock with an up-and-coming musician’s child. They were’t constantly bombarded by those trying to snag the exclusive baby pics or pictures of Rodrigo and Gina together, but it was certainly more than before. Once their eldest, Octavia Águila , was born, the unwelcomed paparazzi starting coming around more, wanting to get the pictures of a growing rockstar’s child. Rodrigo didn’t mind the attention as getting public love and adoration was part of his dream, but Gina didn’t share the same sentiment. And she was quickly seeing the impact it was having on their four year old daughter who was often ready to fight people taking photos of them. So she told Rodrigo she was moving back to the US and that if he wanted to be a father, he could join them. He, however, did not.

Heartbroken but strong, Gina took Octavia back to the US to her home state of North Carolina. Originally from Charlotte but having been since disowned, Gina settled on a small town at the coast called Carolina Beach. For three years it was just a seven-year-old Octavia and her making the best of what they had, until the day Rodrigo showed up saying he wanted to be a father. A real one. And without hesitation, Gina took him back so they could start again. It was during their attempt at being domestic together that Gina got pregnant again barely a year later with Regina Águila-Cliffton, and Rodrigo promised he would be there for her this time. And for a few years, they did have a family. Rodrigo wanted them to move and find somewhere nicer, but Gina was determined that Carolina Beach was right for them. They didn’t need to have fancy things to be happy, and the cheaper they lived, the longer Rodrigo’s money from music would last. The four of them were making it work in a home together. Rodrigo clearly missed his music, but he had promised to make this work with Gina. But, as they say, all good things come to an end.

When Regina was 9, Rodrigo got a call from his old manager saying that the bassist that replaced him in the band was fired, leaving the slot open. They were about to go on an international tour, and if Rodrigo came, it would be the greatest publicity for the band he helped make. When he told Gina, she wanted to be happy, but she knew he would never be satisfied with fatherhood if he went. And so they were once again faced with the choice: his band or his family. Just as before, Rodrigo chose the former, leaving behind two children and a woman he loved yet came second to his music. Gina was able to get through the heartbreak this time, because she had two children to take of and deep down knew their love was doomed. But now she didn’t have the additional income to continue to do so with ease as she was only a maid for one of the bigger hotels in Wilmington. Her eldest daughter saw her struggling, and given she had just turned 18, she took it upon herself to leave home. It seemed like the logical step to Octavia, as she was an adult and would be one less mouth to feed, cloth, or worry about. Except she did it without telling anyone, simply leaving one night and never returning, knowing her mother would insist she stay due to not wanting to be abandoned.

It was having Octavia leave home that made Gina shut down for some time. Leaving a now freshly 10 year old Reggie to try and be an adult for the both of them. She learned to cook meals that would surely have leftovers, spend her time doing chores to keep their own home clean so her mom wouldn’t have to, she did her homework without being told to, and was able to keep a low profile. When Octavia was around, she was often causing problems with people whether it be fights, back talking authority, skipping out on school, or skipping out of town. Regina never liked that part about her sister, but her sister had also protected her. If someone picked on her, Octavia would be the first to get in their face. If Regina was frustrated and unsure of what to do, Octavia would tell her to breathe and not worry so much about the small stuff. She was even the one who came up with calling her Reggie instead of Regina, finding that it suited her much better. And Reggie was quick to agree, adopting the name, loving it instantly, and keeping it even after Octavia left home.

It was around this strange life transition that Reggie was old enough to do extra circulars. Being a kid already with a strong sense of responsibility, sports and team activities came naturally to Reggie. She loved getting to run around and clear her head of everything going on in her own life, never having difficulty focusing on the game at hand instead. Soccer quickly became her favorite one out of them all, though. She first started as a defender, managing to have quick feet that could steal a ball quicker than most could realize. Eventually as she got better, she could even kick a ball from midfield into a goal every now and then. Soccer made her feel unstoppable, and the many accolades she got added to that. Come high school she became a forward, and was frequently referred to as “the Rocket” for her leg power (though she had been calling herself that since she first started playing).

Aside from being gifted with strong sports ability, something that often got mentioned was the fact that Reggie was out and proud as girl who liked girls. She was sure about it at age 13 and came out to her mother first, and then made no effort to hide it even in a small town of only a few thousand people. It was the one thing about herself that Reggie was public about, as with having a famous father who she was estranged from made Reggie cautious about how others viewed her. It was luck that he was mainly famous in another country, but Reggie did not want to cause unwanted attention. She feared that their low-key life would be put in jeopardy if people knew who her dad was. And her mother did not need any added stress while she was trying to start and run her own cleaning business from home.

So Reggie tried hard to be the opposite of her sister– never missing school, keeping herself busy with nothing that would get her in trouble, avoiding altercations with others, and being self sufficient. She also dropped the Águila from her last name, even getting her mother’s blessing to make it a legal change so she could further distance herself from Rodrigo’s shadow. The only times Reggie found herself in trouble were when she would be defending others from the gay bashing that she saw. Unlike Reggie, most LGBTQ+ students in her school were closeted but still would be on the receiving end up slurs or violence. Reggie could handle insults directed towards herself, she was secure and strong in her convictions, but others didn’t need to be ragged on for who they were. Especially if they weren’t ready to be that person. Not everyone appreciated it as it certainly made the bullies seem right in their assumptions, but Reggie didn’t do it for the thanks or appreciation. That was just her sense of justice, and her hotheadedness that certainly existed.

Due to being so open and actively trying to protect others, it made Reggie often attract the girls that were curious to know what it was like to be with a girl, too. It became a cycle where she would get close to a girl, they’d become best friends, and then start to fall for each other. It was a dance and process that Reggie herself loved, and she fell into dating easily. The relationships were genuine as they would last months at a time, sometimes in secret, and sometimes not so secret. Some girls claimed it being a phase, others would only plead the fifth until they were ready to come out. It didn’t matter to Reggie though, she was just happy to be with girls and making them feel special. It was the romantic in her that kept her going rather than be discouraged by each break up.

Nearing the end of her sophomore year Reggie met Jenna “Jinny” Edwards after being paired together for a class project. Reggie had been single for a couple months and was feeling especially lonely, and Jinny was a girl that wasn’t unpopular nor popular. She was simply there. Much to both of their surprise, they got along right away and they progressed into summer romance territory. Jinny knew she was gay, but she was nowhere near ready to be out of the closet. Reggie having already gone through that before with others said she didn’t mind. Most of her relationships fizzled out eventually anyway, so it would be okay if she wanted to stay out of the public eye.

What was even more unexpected was the fact their relationship seemed to have no signs of stopping. Reggie was sincerely falling for Jinny, and Jinny for her. Things took a turn as Jinny’s family said they were moving to Wilmington at the start of the New Year, with Jinny going to attend a private school there instead. Rather than call it quits, Reggie promised they could and would make it work. So she would drive to Wilmington to hang out, trying to find places where they wouldn’t get caught making out or seen together as to avoid rumors circulating about Jinny’s sexuality.

It was rough, and hard, but Reggie loved Jinny and felt it was worth it. Especially once they made plans to go move to Evanston, IL together after high school. Reggie would work to get a soccer scholarship to Northwestern, and Jinny was going to attend Northwestern for their top notch Journalism program. They romanticized Illinois, deeming it would be the place they would finally get to truly be themselves and in love. Jinny would finally come out and they would be able to be seen in public together rather than avoid it. It made the sting of not getting to go to either of their proms together a little easier to manage. Especially once Reggie did get the soccer scholarship, making their future seem within their grasp.

Sadly, the hope for their forever plans to come true hit a snag the summer between graduation and their college years starting. Reggie and her high school soccer team decided to pool money together and take a rock climbing trip to Colorado together as one last group hoorah. While on their guided climb tour, the pulley holding Reggie up came loose from between the rocks as she tried to make a jump for a farther away ledge, causing her to fall 50 feet to the ground and rocks below. She was immediately rushed to the nearest hospital with doctor’s sure she wouldn’t make it through the next couple days. Somehow, Reggie did, but she was forever changed from that moment on due to having such a close brush with death. The biggest factor? She would never be able to play soccer again, which meant her scholarship was now an impossible dream. Suddenly, the somewhat optimistic Reggie started to see the world as a little darker and less beautiful.

With soccer no longer an option she was lucky that Northwestern still wanted her due to her academic background, but now her mom had no money. All of her college savings were being put forth in Reggie’s hospital bills and recovery. The idea of being in Illinois with Jinny now came to be a pipe dream, until the day Gina told Reggie that her father had offered to pay for her college education. Reggie instantly hated the idea, never wanting to owe anything to Rodrigo and feeling like he was trying to buy his way into their good graces. Still, Reggie knew that her going to college meant the world to Gina since she didn’t get to finish her degree. Not only that, but what else would she do? Go back home and wallow in her injury? No, college was expected from someone as bright as her, and she loved her mother too much to let her down as well. So she reluctantly accepted the offer, which put all her previous plans on track except for the fact she had months of recovery ahead of her.

With being such an active person her whole life, it didn’t take long for depression to settle inside of Reggie. She was angry at the world for taking away the rose-colored version of Evanston that Reggie had thought of for years. Ginny and her still moved in together, but it was nothing like they planned. Reggie was too in her own head, solely focused on everything she lost and feeling like a prisoner at a college she had wanted to go to before. But having her father’s money pay for her education tainted the whole thing for her. She picked a Chemistry degree because she was good at it, though had no passion for it which only added to her clouded view of the world. Ginny tried to be there for Reggie, but it was the first time the two of them were getting to be in their relationship out in the open. Yet Reggie seemed to want nothing to do with her as the process of recovery took its toll.

Reggie started to feel smothered, having never lived with anyone besides her mother and even she had hardly been home most of the time. Arguments started popping up more and apologies started happening less. They tried a whole school year to make it work before it finally hit a breaking point. Ginny couldn’t be with the person Reggie had become, and Reggie didn’t know how to stop being that person. Ginny transferred schools by the end of the next school year and Reggie never heard from or about the girl she dedicated three years of her life to again. The message was loud and clear though: the person Reggie had become wasn’t as easy to love. And perhaps that was true before given her many previously failed relationships. Thankfully, not everything in Illinois was dark and gloomy for Reggie. Nearing the end of her Physical Therapy, and a few months after losing Ginny, it was suggested she try giving dancing a shot as a way to strengthen her body.

Reggie was never big on listening to music, in part due to her father being famous for music and often associating it with him. But she was also simply a person who could appreciate the silence of the world and didn’t need it to be filled with something. Once she started to get into dance, her relationship with music changed completely. She started to notice the importance of lyrics and melody, how they could set a mood or evoke certain emotion. As she fell for the fun and freeing feeling of dance, she also fell for the joy of music. It helped having a physical vice to express herself with, and soon she was trying to learn how to move her body more and more both to make it stronger, and to find which style was the most her. It helped having music there to fill the void that sometimes her depression left, too.

Once she was able to walk without assistance due to the help that dance provided, Reggie looked into getting a job. She got hired as a waitress at Ten Mile House which wasn’t ideal, but it was money and she could take it. It was there she started to fool around with cooking after hours with some of the chefs she befriended. They’d make their own creations and rate them. She started brainstorming recipes she wanted to try and watching cooking shows to learn more. In time it became a genuine joy to go to work while college was the thing that dragged on for her. But Reggie was struggling with the pain that still lingered from her accident.

While she had painkillers, Reggie didn’t like taking them as she knew the risks associated with the pills. In an effort to provide an alternative on a particularly achy day, a coworker offered Reggie some marijuana-based creams he had for his own pain-related medical issues. They worked far better than the pills had, and were more natural and soothing. Having been an athlete all her life, Reggie never tried any kind of drugs as to ensure she would pass her physicals and get to continue playing. But now that was soccer was out the window, she had less reason to say no, especially when it truly helped her pain. As well as helped her mental state be less overwhelmed by life which was incredibly needed.

In an effort to still keep true to her word but get out of Evanston faster, Reggie took courses year round to get her degree in three years. At 21 she was a college graduate from Northwestern University which was something to be proud of, but mainly, she was just glad it was over with. Even if that meant she didn’t know what to do next. For a brief moment she considered going to grad school, figuring that would be the next expected step. But her boss at Ten Mile House said that he saw a potential in Reggie’s cooking. Deep down that thought meant more to her than she would admit, but she wasn’t sure about pursuing something she had never seriously done or even considered before. He recommended for her to apply for the Institute of Culinary Education in New York City. She went back and forth on it, not sure if she was ready to put faith in such an unknown thing. But after years of doing what she assumed was expected of her, Reggie allowed herself to give ICE a chance and was over the moon once the acceptance letter came in for her to start their Winter quarter. Suddenly her zest for life was coming back, finding solace in the idea of leaving the bad memories Illinois now held for her.

So once she was in New York, Reggie decided that instead of going for another restaurant job, she would look into the Cannabis industry jobs NYC had to offer. It had helped her immensely, and she wanted to try to help others with it. After checking around, one dispensary owner took to Reggie’s positive attitude about medicinal marijuana’s benefits. He offered her a position after she took the needed training course for certification as a Budtender. She was officially hired the next week and things started to fall into place. Reggie was sure that New York City would be a chance to reinvent herself into someone completely different. Someone nothing like the Reggie from Carolina Beach or from Evanston. One that didn’t form romantic attachments easily, one that would live her life with herself in mind instead of what everyone else assumed of her. Sure it was easier said than done, but that didn’t mean it was impossible. And if there was one thing  Reggie Cliffton was not, it was that of a quitter.

After about half a year of living in NYC and a few months of working as a Budtender, one of Reggie’s regulars and her got to talking about soccer. Reggie mentioned how she used to play but hadn’t in many years though she missed it. The customer then mentioned how her granddaughter’s small business league team, the Mighty Morphin Flower Rangers, were looking for someone else to join them. While unsure at first, both because it sounded too good to be true and she hadn’t played in so long, Reggie eventually met the team. They liked Reggie instantly and even if she was rusty, she still had skill that they needed. Upon revisiting the sport she loved, Reggie knew she wasn’t going to pass the chance up to play again. She’s aware of the risk being taken by playing such a physical sport again, but she hadn’t spent all of those years strengthening her body for nothing.

♬ Spencer Porter

The history between Reggie and Spencer goes back farther than either of them care to think about. What started as a small dislike between two 10 year olds in community league who didn’t like how the other played started to run deeper as time went on. Being two of the best players in their county and state, they often found themselves head to head in tournaments and high stress games. After high school they fell of each other’s radar so imagine the surprise and not-so-welcome wave of nostalgia that happened when discovering they both played on opposing teams in the same small business soccer league. The two are trying to keep their rivalry to only the field, though with their overly competitive natures, it’s hard to tell if it will stay that way

♪  Dani Harper & Matt Solís

After a few months of living in NYC, Reggie started to branch out at other small shops around the city and eventually found Acup. It was a slow day when she came in and behind the counter was a hot barista with A+ latte art skills named Matt. They hit it off right away, becoming friends quickly and by Reggie’s third visit, friends with benefits. A few weeks after that while waiting outside of Acup for Matt, Reggie saw a girl she had met only a couple nights before at the local gay bar, The Library. While she knew her name was Dani, she did not know she also worked at Acup until that moment. The two managed to keep a friendship (also with benefits) afterwards, with Dani being the optimist to Reggie’s own pessimistic view.

♬ Tina Cohen-Chang

Never having been someone who grew up with a pet, or even a desire to get one, it only makes sense that Reggie co-owns a dog with someone. While out one night after winter classes, Reggie came across a shivering French Bulldog getting buried by the New York snow. Remembering she saw a vet clinic only a few blocks away, she grabbed the animal and made a mad dash on her skateboard to get him some help. Tina was there closing up the clinic though she opened it upon seeing someone frantically trying to get in with a pup-scile. They were able to warm him up and decided to name him Andrew Bernard Jr (thanks to a Cornell dog sweater that was in the clinic’s lost and found). While Andy lives with Tina, they co-parent him together.

♪  Harper Clarington

Harper Clarington came out of left field for Reggie, but in one of the best ways possible. At least until Reggie found out her and Spencer were apparently an item. Still, Reggie was drawn to Harper’s quick wit and chill attitude, finding herself wanting to know her but not wanting to cross any lines. All of that went out the window the day Harper and Spencer broke off their semi-relationship, leading to Harper and Reggie to hook up only hours later. Rather than it be a night of passion, the two continued to both hang out and hook up together. While Reggie gave her her usual talk of “I like to keep things casual, I don’t do feelings” to Harper after sleeping together, the fact Reg constantly is willing to do whatever it takes to make Harper smile sure gives a different impression.