#birthday gift for MYSELF bazinga

[bloomenvogel]

Another attempt at wooing Amy 🤭

I love my parenta so much heehee.

Because i like indulging myself, i just imagined that I took this photo of them.

[bobasheebaby]

Sheldon Cooper Prompts

1 “I don't like bugs, okay. They freak me out.” “Interesting. You're afraid of insects and women. Ladybugs must render you catatonic.”

2 “Why are you crying?” “Because I'm stupid.” “That's no reason to cry. One cries because one is sad. For example, I cry because others are stupid, and that makes me sad.”

3 “I did a bad thing.” “Does it affect me?” “No.” “Then suffer in silence.”

4 “Then it's settled. NAME’s birthday present will be my genitals.”

5 “May I say something?” “Not right now, NAME.” “But I think it may be comforting.” “Buddy —“ “No, it's okay. What?” “When I lost my own father/mother, I didn't have any friends to help me through it. You do.”

6 “On the contrary I find the Grinch to be a relatable and engaging character. And I was really with him, right up to the point that he succumbed to social convention, returned the presents and saved Christmas.”

7 “I'm exceedingly smart. I graduated college at fourteen. While my brother/sister was getting an STD, I was getting a Ph.D. Penicillin can't take this away.”

8 “There's no denying that I have feelings for you that can't be explained in any other way. I briefly considered that I had a brain parasite, but that seems even more far-fetched. The only conclusion was love.”

9 “(3 knocks) “NAME!” (3 knocks) “NAME!” (3 knocks) “NAME!” “What happens if I say come in?” “Well, find out.” “Come in!” (silence) (3 knocks) “NAME 2!” (3 knocks) “NAME 2!” (3 knocks) “NAME 2!” “Come in!” “Keep it up. I've got nowhere else to be.” “Just come in.” “For future reference, if I want to watch Mean Girls, I'll just stream it on Netflix.”

10 “I'd like to go over some proposed changes to the roommate agreement, specifically to address NAME’s annoying personal habits.” “Oh my God! What personal habits?” “I have a list. FYI overuse of the phrase "Oh my God" is number 12.”

11 “Oh, big deal. Not knowing is part of the fun.” “‘Not knowing is part of the fun.’ Was that the motto of your community college?”

12 “Thankfully all the things my boyfriend/girlfriend used to do can be taken care of with my right hand.”

13 “Can I respond now?” “Do it.” “You mess with the bull, you get the horns. I'm about to show this guy just how horny I can be.” “Somebody else do it.”

14 “Well, he/she did soften your life, didn't he/she?” “Yes! He’s/She's like the dryer sheets of my heart!”

15 “Oh, I should probably tell you something about this gift.” “You mean, before you give it to me?” “Yes. But may I ask you a question before I give it to you?” “Of course.” “Why are we saying give it to you like that?”

16 “I'm not being weird. Am I being weird?” “Yes. And that's coming from me.”

17 “I thought you didn't like Facebook any more.” “Don't be silly, I'm a fan of anything that tries to replace actual human contact.”

18 “I would have been here sooner but the bus kept stopping for other people to get on it.”

19 “This is NAME. He's/she’s your best friend in the world.” “All right, just stop. This is ridiculous.” “Sometimes he/she gets cranky, but you can trust him/her with your life. And he/she does more things for you than I can even begin to list.” “Thank you.”

20 “This is why I've been saying we should keep champagne on ice.” “Sarcasm?” “Yes.” “That was tricky because when it comes to alcohol, he/she generally means business.”

21 “Oh gravity, thou art a heartless bitch.”

22 “I give up. He's impossible.” “I can't be impossible; I exist. I think what you meant to say is, 'I give up; he's improbable'.”

23 “Relax, it's just a dirty sock.” “How on earth can you say ‘dirty sock’ and ‘relax’ in the same sentence?”

24 “NAME , you know me to be a very smart man/woman. Don't you think that if I were wrong, I'd know it?”

25 “So, what do you guys do for fun around here?” “Well, today we tried masturbating for money.”

26 “No cuts, no buts, no coconuts.”

27 “When we watch Frosty the Snowman, he/she roots for the sun.” “Excuse me, but the sun is essential for all life on earth. Frosty is merely a bit of frozen, supernatural ephemera in a stolen hat. A crime, by the way, for which he is never brought to account.”

28 “Do you think we can outrun him/her?” “I don't need to outrun him/her, I just need to outrun you.”

29 “Ah, memory impairment; the free prize at the bottom of every vodka bottle.”

30 “What the hell's going on?” “You hypocrite.” “What?” “Little Miss Grown-Ups-Don't-Play-With-Toys! If I went into that apartment right now, would I not find Beanie Babies? Are you not an accumulator of Care Bears and My Little Ponies? And who is that Japanese feline I see frolicking on your shorts? Hello, Hello Kitty!”

31 “You're inferring I'm stupid.” “That's not correct. We implied you're stupid, you then inferred it.”

32 “You got me something?” “Oh. Not just something. It's from the heart, it's holiday-themed, and I swallowed the gift receipt so you can not return it.”

33 “You can't make a half sandwich. If it's not half of a whole sandwich, it's just a small sandwich.”

34 “I can't seem to get in touch with NAME. I tried e-mail, video chat, tweeting him/her, posting on his/her Facebook wall, texting him/her, nothing.” “Did you try calling him/her on the telephone?” “The telephone. You know, NAME, in your own simple way, you may be the wisest of us all.”

35 “How often does one see a beloved fictional character come to life?” “Every year at ComiCon. Every day at Disneyland. You can hire Snow White to come to your house. Of course they prefer if you have a kid.”

36 “Soft Kitty, Warm Kitty, Little Ball of Fur. Happy Kitty, Sleepy Kitty, Purr, Purr, Purr.”

37 “I'm the guy/girl.” “You're not the guy/girl.” “Are you sure? It would explain so much. Your constant presence in my apartment. That baffling dalliance with NAME just to be near me. The way you call me sweetie all the time.” “I call everyone sweetie.” “You tramp.”

38 “Do you want to say it?” “Let's say it together.” Both: “We're getting a turtle!”

39 “I've seen and talked to you more in the two days we've been broken up than in the last two months we were together.” “Well, if you want to see less of me, maybe we should go out again.”

40 “Are they making fun of us?” “Yep.” “I miss the old days when I couldn't tell.”

41 “Well, this is very pleasant.” “I'm glad you're enjoying yourself.” “And you said there would never be enough pasta for the three of us.”

42 “NAME, could I ask you a question?” “I would prefer that you not, but I wouldn't go so far as to forbid it.”

43 “If you don't mind, I'd like to stop listening to you and start talking.”

44 “There there, everything is going to be fine ... NAME’s here!”

45 “Are you listening to yourself?” “I always listen to myself. It's one of the great joys of my life.”

46 “You know what, go to Hell and set their thermostat.” “I don't have to go to Hell. At 73 degrees, I'm there already!”

47 “NAME, I excel at many things, but getting over you wasn't one of them. I think I need to just be your friend.”

48 “I have a two-part question.” “Go ahead.” “A: Are you kidding? And B: Seriously, are you freaking kidding me?” “A: I rarely kid, and B: when I do kid, you will know it by my use of the word ‘Bazinga’.” “So you're saying the two of you are going to be sleeping in the same bed?” “Yes. Bazinga.”

49 “Get back here, you stupid bird, so I can love you.”

50 “Acquiring a joint pet is a big step for us.” “It's true. It means we care so much about each other, there's enough left over for an eight-ounce reptile.”