#bingewatched this show and I've fallen for them

[mental-health-advice]

I am looking for some friendship advice. One of my friends has gotten back into a show he used to really enjoy as a child, and has been bingewatching it from start to finish. It's a very long series, so he's had a lot to share and talk about regarding it. Which is fine and very welcomed! At first. But now it's all he talks about, even when I had started the conversation to talk about an unrelated thing. He'll completely disregard what I'm saying, or he'll ignore it and go back to talking about his show. At first I thought that "okay, this is alright, he's excited and i've talked his ear off about things I like before. What I wanted to talk about can wait", because I want to be supportive of things that bring him joy, and he's a sensitive guy so I don't want to make him feel bad for liking this show or being so excited, ya know? Since we've had conversations before where he's admitted to being afraid of driving away friends by getting overexcited, or having cringy interests 'no one wants to hear about' (his words), and stuff like that, and I don't want to make him feel like his interests are unwelcomed. But I don't know how to bring up that it's starting to feel less like we're friends and more like my DMs are his dumping ground for his show thoughts and explanations. This isn't the first time he's done this either, but it's by far the longest duration the single-topic-only push has gone on. I promise i'm not exaggerating this, in the past week the only thing he has talked about is his show, and every attempt at talking about something else has been met with "lol okay, anyway" or left unacknowledged entirely. I wouldn't be so bothered if it wasn't a nonstop thing. Or if he'd at least say he isn't interested in talking about other things up front instead of what he's doing now. Idk, i'm at a loss and I feel like i'm being a bad friend for getting burnt out on the topic of his show. Any advice is welcome 🙏

Hey there,

You are not a bad friend at all for getting burnt out by your friend constantly talking about the show he is watching. A lot of people get burnt out from their friends for different reasons and usually it’s a warning sign that something is not right and/ or you are just not getting what you need from the friendship or rather it’s a one-sided friendship with you not getting anything out of it despite you trying really hard to talk to your friend and having things change/ improve.

I think it’s really great that you have been able to acknowledge that you are starting to feel burnt out. This is a good thing and shows that you have the ability to read yourself and what you are needing in your life and when things aren’t going so well, so well done!

I’m so sorry that despite your efforts of changing the conversation to something more neutral with your friend or talking to them about how you are feeling, that this seems to have fallen on death ears. Credit to you for trying though! I am wondering what things were like before your friend started to watch this TV show of his, like for example has this happened before (obsessively talking about what he has been watching) or if the friendship has ever been balanced where you both have the opportunity to talk about you want. I think this is really important to look at as if the friendship has mostly been one-sided then what exactly are you getting out of it? Remember that you too have the right and should have the ability to also talk freely and be able to bring things up to discuss and not just your friend.

I know that it’s been a while since you sent in your Ask and I really hope that you have since been able to resume to have more of a ‘normal’ friendship with your friend, and if not then what would things look like if you were to leave the friendship as it does sound like right now it is draining at times and this isn’t fair on you at all. Of course, only you can make this decision ultimately but it may be helpful to look at the current friendship before you and think about what YOU are needing right now in life. For example whether you would like to be able to talk about your own stuff and if this friend will allow you to do this or whether you may need to confide these things with another friend. Just something to think about!

I know I haven’t really been able to give you much advice but I do think it’s important to think about your current friendship with this friend and whether or not you are getting what you are needing from the friendship as is what everyone deserves!

I’m thinking of you, hope that you are going well and please do let us know if we can help to support you in any other way!

Take care,

Lauren

[sometipsygnostalgic]

When'd you get into Adventure Time the first time, and how'd it happen? Been thinking of giving it a watch (especially after all the good stuff that's been said of Obsidian and, admittedly, all the stuff I've seen you post and reblog), and it got me curious

This is like my favourite story, and it is the only good one I remember from being a teenager (life from back then has been super foggy since I moved out of my mum's but it is all good now):

When I was 15 I made a new friend who wanted to write a comic about Teen Titans with me as the artist, TT being my second-favourite childhood show after DBZ.

I started bingewatching Teen Titans because I now had a computer and was able to do so. I learnt about the voice actors.

Starfire was played by Hynden Walch. I learnt that Hynden's latest role was Princess Bubblegum on Adventure Time. I checked it out on wikipedia. It seemed kind of cartoony for me.

One thing that caught my eye is when the wikipedia page said PB "may have had a past relationship" with Marceline, the vampire girl with the really pretty hair. I was confused by this, and rationalised it to myself as they must have had a history as friends or enemies. It didn't say what kind of relationship and I thought there was no chance of it meaning "romantic".

For the time being, I didn't look into AT further.

A couple months pass. After several months of tension, I get a text while in school telling me that my dad was breaking up with his fiance, and I would need to move back into my mother's place immediately. This was smack bang when I was about to start my GCSE exams - the timing couldn't be worse. My mother's house is a shit hive and I went between having a tiny box room to myself or sharing a messy bedroom with my sister and mother. There were no standards for hygeine and there wasn't a stable supply of food.

I decide to finish my binge watch of Teen Titans. I spend all day doing this every day. I rewatched it once I was done. It was what I did to cope.

At the same time, my Teen Titans comic friend confides in me. She tells me she thinks she might be a lesbian, and she is scared her parents will reject her. I sympathise deeply. At the time, I was waist deep in the closet to the point I couldnt accept certain things about myself either, but having a friend come out to me made me reconsider LGBT matters.

I looked on deviantart and saw some art for "RaeStar". I thought it was wrong to ship them (I shipped RobStar hardcore) but, well, the art was so cute. Their interactions were healthy and sweet. It was nice. This became my low key first gay ship.

Then, I start bingeing RebelTaxi's Teen Titans video reviews.

Once I am dry on Teen Titans content, I see RebelTaxi did a review on Fionna and Cake, and on Ryan North's Issue #2 of the Adventure Time comic.

The first video, Fionna and Cake, was appealing to me. The show had an amazing art style, and a decent sense of humor. I loved that they did something for the fans, making a genderbent fanfic episode based on popular fan characters. It was unprecedented and very post modern.

....But it was the SECOND video that made me take a very sudden interest in the show.

RebelTaxi was referring to a scene with PB and Marcy in the bottom of the Lich's bag. There is a joke where Marcy turns into a tentacle monster. RebelTaxi always makes hentai jokes when tentacle monsters are involved, but he interpreted this scene as referencing the characters' "lesbian undertones".

...Wait, WHAT? Hynden Walch's character and the pretty vampire have Lesbian Undertones?!?! Haven't I heard this somewhere before?!?!

A quick google search of "Adventure Time Lesbian Undertones" later, I discover the Mathematical! Controversy - how an episode with some incredible songwriting seemed to imply they had been girlfriends in the past who have residual feelings for each other. A podcast had been made by the producers fangirling about this possibility, but it was taken down, and the director fired. Nobody had outright said the subtext was not there, but they said they didn't want the podcast to sound like word of god. There had been a lot of upset in the gay community over this. Oh, by the way, there's a gay community of cartoon fans who really ship PB/Marcy.

With a combination of everything, from how my friend had just come out to me and was struggling with homophobia, to how I was a Hynden Walch fan, to how the show had already impressed me with what little I'd seen, I became IMMEDIATELY invested in finding out as much as possible about these potential LGBT characters and their relationship.

So I checked out a ton of Adventure Time videos on youtube. I checked the vids that had Marceline's backstory in, vids with funny moments from PB and all the other characters, I checked Deviantart for fanart where I made my first engagements with the fandom's gay community, I checked the Wiki talk pages to get ALL of the discourse. It changed who I was basically overnight.

I decided Adventure Time was a fun show with clever writing, and absolutely worth my attention. During the break for exams, I binge watched it all day, and then I would cram for my GCSEs between midnight and 3am on the day of the exam. I was addicted!

When I caught up, Goliad aired. This was the first ep to come out with me being in the fandom.

At the time, even though Hynden had drawn me to the show, Marceline was the character I was most invested in. She had the amazing backstory and music and character design. PB was fun, but there was relatively nothing to her character.

Oh boy, that ALL CHANGED with Goliad! People were intensely debating what the episode was saying about her. Is she a good person, a bad person? Why was she so troubled in the episode's opening, and why was Goliad corrupted?

Discourse only escalated with Princess Cookie. The top post on the wikia was "Is Princess Bubblegum evil?"

Thinking about her character was so interesting for me. These two episodes made me realise PB was a character with her own internal battles, who was struggling with the responsibility to do what was right for her people vs what is the Right Thing, with her own psychological wellbeing caught in the middle. My interpretation of Goliad was that PB was a naturally neutral person who had decided to be good, whereas Goliad had been corrupted by Jake's anger, and this contrasted with Finn who was a pure good person. The Princess Cookie episode reinforced my ideas, because she was doing something that was neither objectively good or bad but was a result of her own morality, and it went against Jake's morality. The idea of the "good guys" having such different values was so engaging, and they managed to come around at the end, with baby-snaps being submitted to rehabilitation.

Princess Cookie was also the first episode where PB was shown to be an adult while a currently adult character was a child. Either candy people age quickly, or - more likely - Pb is keeping her age a mystery. After thinking about this, I opened up a page on the wiki forums saying "Is Princess Bubblegum Old?"

This is what sealed my position in the fandom. I became a well known regular of the community after that, on Wikia and then Tumblr. It was my first fandom. So many good memories of theories, debates, analysis and fanart, the satisfaction of my theories being confirmed in season 5 onwards.

The most important thing to me, about engaging with the AT community, was how those initial interactions around the LGBT content were the groundwork for me being comfortable coming out of the closet. If it wasn’t for that, if it wasn’t for speaking specifically to Thisfreemind and Illeity about how gay relationships are perfectly fine and healthy for kids to see, and no less clean than straight relationships, I might be a person with far more conservative views today, and I might have fallen out with several of my closeted friends over internalized homophobia.  

I would have also probably failed high school. My grades improved drastically over the next year, because my online community life had made me happier.  It was comfort and stability during a difficult couple of years. 

[wanderinwinter]

85 statements tag game

I was tagged by @evilsnowswan

Last...

1. Drink: water

2. Phone call: brother

3. Text: from one of the leaders in the group I'm involved in on campus

4. Song you listened to: Using You by Mars Argo

5. Time you cried: watching the first episode of Atypical

6. Dated someone twice: never dated anyone

7. Kissed someone and regretted it: I believe that every experience shapes a person and makes them grow, including shitty experiences (so, no)

8. Been cheated on: never dated anyone, so...

9. Lost someone special: not sure

10. Been depressed: at least once a week

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: I don't drink alcohol

Favorite colors

12. pink

13. black

14. gray

In the last year have you...

15. Made new friends: yes

16. Fallen out of love: no

17. Laughed until you cried: yes

18. Found out someone was talking about you: yes, in a good way

19. Met someone who changed you: yes

20. Found out who your friends are: yes

21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: don't have a FB

General

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life? don't have it

23. Do you have any pets? a dog

24. Do you want to change your name? no

25. What did you do for your last birthday? bingewatched all of Carmilla in one day (in my defense, my birthday was the day after my last final of spring semester this year)

26. What time did you wake up? 6 am

27. What were you doing at midnight last night? sleeping

28. Name something you can’t wait for: the movie, The Shape of Water

29. When was the last time you saw your mum? at home right now

31. What are you listening to right now? I've been really into Paramore's newest album

32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom? yes

33. Something that is getting on your nerves: political extremists in the U.S.

34. Most visited website: Tumblr

35. Hair colour: brown

36. Long or short hair? short

37. Do you have a crush on someone: no

38. What do you like about yourself? my strength and high empathy

39. Piercings: ears

40. Blood type: don’t know

41. Nickname: none

42. Relationship status: happily single

43. Zodiac: taurus

44. Pronouns: she/her

45. Favourite TV show: currently, Twin Peaks

46. Tattoos: no

47. Right or left handed: right

48. Surgery: nope

49. Piercing: ears

50. Sport: I have zero coordination

51. Holiday: halloween

52. Pair of trainers: black/pink tennis shoes

More general

53. Eating: whatever

54. Drinking: water

55. I’m about to: go to a meeting

56. Waiting for: the end of the world (everything is rapidly getting closer to actual hell on earth. I can't be the only one who's waiting eagerly for this.)

57. Want: to be better at memorizing scripture

58. Get married: hopefully, yes

59. Career: literary publicist, one day

60. Hugs or kisses: kisses

61. Lips or eyes: eyes

62. Shorter or taller: taller

63. Older or younger: older

64. Nice arms or nice stomach: no preference

65. Hook up or relationship: relationship

66. Troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant

67. Kissed a stranger: no

68. Drank hard liquor: no

69. Lost glasses/contact lenses: nope

70. Turned someone down: yes

71. Sex on the first date: nope

72. Broken someone’s heart: possibly

73. Had your heart broken: yes

74. Been arrested: no

75. Cried when someone died: yes

76. Fallen for a friend: no

Do you believe in …

77. Yourself: always

78. Miracles: yes

79. Love at first sight: yes, even though I've never experienced it first-hand

80. Santa Claus: no

81. Kiss on the first date: no

82. Angels: yes

Other

83. Current best friend’s name: don't necessarily have a 'best' friend

84. Eye colour: hazel

85. Favourite movie: What We Do In the Shadows

Tag 20 people

@erikstrueangel @hopsjollyhigh @elenassolace @rowofstars @achingchest @divadarcy @god-breathed @just-french-me-up @katie--mcgrath @xxsparksxx @cosetteskywalker @venuhs @mrgoldsdearie @anonymousnerdgirl