#bill: idk i'm only a trillion i mean-

[the-barefoot-hatter]

"FORDSY WE NEED AN ADULT!" / "but i'm tracking all the relevant data"

Please save these idiots Fiddleford McGucket, you are their only hope!

I'm wheezing, I love it, it looks wonderful, you did a great job at pacing and expressions aaaaaa <3 <3 <3

@the-barefoot-hatter if you liked my other one you’re gonna love this

I couldn’t stop picturing it and laughing so I drew a little comic for my version of the non-Euclidean geometry au. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ It’s a bit of a mess, but I enjoyed making it and I think it turned out okay considering I don’t tend to make comics. Long story short, a new player has arrived.

[ckret2]

My first ask not about the goldie fic but I want your opinion: do you think Bill had a crush on the pharaoh? Because he really hypes up how he was obsessed with him, while the evidence shows Amenemhat was one of the least interested humans he partnered with, and he still doesn't seem to harbor much ill will by Bill standards. He also kinda overtly says he tried to flirt with him and that he was thirsty (for friendship). I feel like their relationship was different from most of the others, and is focused on the least.

Also do you think he was into the shaman. Because their non-portal-realated relationship is elaborated on the most and he seems to hold the biggest grudge, but it could've also just been a particular rare respect.

I think Bill has two kinds of crushes.

Bill gets 🩷crushes💕 on people that, like, have traits he generally finds attractive, whatever those are. Amenemhat III wore a big hat and built three pyramids, maybe Bill's into that, idk. We don't know much about their dynamic. If things don't work out with these crushes he's like, whatever, he moves on. These crushes are like a game to him.

On the other hand, Bill gets 🔥CRUSHES🔥 on people that make him go "they just like me fr." And here I'm using the word "crushes" to also cover platonic relationships—it doesn't necessarily mean he wants to make out with them, just that somehow he's forged an iron-hard emotional chain with them that he craves to be reciprocated. (the other crushes could also be platonic, but I think they tend to tilt more toward romantic by default.)

Bill strikes me as the kind of guy who goes through life thinking Nobody Could Possibly Get Him so when he runs into the rare person that he does think gets him, he latches onto them like a crocodile onto a baby hippo—and it's just as likely to end either with the prey dead or with the predator getting a few teeth knocked out.

And these are the ones Bill gets bitter and resentful over when things fall apart.

But look at what we know about the shaman: when Bill offered him a way out of his world to explore the secrets of the universe, he jumped at the opportunity; they got intoxicated together; they stargazed together; the shaman taught Bill something he didn't know, which has gotta be rare at a trillion years old.

Ford, obviously, is one of these people to Bill, and the shaman sounds like he's got a lot in common with Ford—curious knowledge-seeker, "the wisest of his tribe." Shaman also sounds like he's got a lot in common with Bill, partying with aliens, enthralled with the stars. I think Bill thought the shaman got him, and that he was not just furious but devastated when that fell apart—and we only don't see the full impact of that because Bill's had nearabout 4000 years to cauterize those wounds.

The shaman was a 🔥CRUSH🔥; the pharaoh was a 🩷crush💕.

[phyrestartr]

Deal With It | Gojo Satoru x M!Reader (TEASER)

CW: Arranged marriage, SELF-HARM (on and off-screen), hurt/comfort, angst, drama, self-loathing, blood and gore, implied depression, suicidal thoughts, suicidal ideation #NSFW, probably top Gojo, probably bottom reader, maybe switch idk, idek if they'll bang it out tbh lol, angst with a happy ending, reader is a sorcerer, time skips, time progression, relationship development, student era into teacher era Note: I got this request to make a story revolving around Gojo and an arranged marriage to the reader (but bro is in love with Getou sob.gif), and I've been RUMINATING on it for forever. I think I finally have a good idea of who the reader is/what their chemistry is like with Gojo, so I'm happy to post a wee bit of a teaser to motivate myself! Let me know your thoughts---I'm finding that I absolutely love writing for Gojo, so I'm down to write more LOL. He's a very fun, complex character.

Deal With It

“So, you really don’t care what he thinks?” Shoko asked as you lit her cigarette. “Even I think he was kinda harsh.”

You pocketed your lighter and leaned back against the cold stone of the college walls. “He’s got a thing for that black-haired guy.”

“Getou.” 

“Sure.” You shrugged and tried to rub the ache out of your neck as you stared up at the bleak, grey skies. The air reeked of petrichor. Thankfully you’d brought an umbrella that day. 

“And you’re not bothered he’s in love with Getou?” Your friend continued, her cute bobbed haircut swaying with the tilt of her head. She always looked so charming like that, when she was being a mischievous brat while pretending to be anything but. 

“Dunno.” And that was the truth. “He’s not even my type. I’d rather hitch up with someone like you or Nanami. Someone less annoying. Less loud-mouthed.” 

“Ooh, that'll hurt his ego.” Shoko smiled. “Well, guess you'll have to learn to deal with it.”

You took a deep breath and rubbed your face as you nodded. “Yeah.”

–

“Forever is a long time,” You mumbled, leaning your forehead against the cool touch of the window. Rain pittered and pattered, exploding off the glass like trillions of kamikaze planes. It almost birthed some sort of hurt in your chest. Best not to dwell on it, you decided.

“Hah? Are you talking to yourself again like a weirdo?” The one and only Gojo Satoru yowled before kicking you in the rear like a petulant child. “Pft! Figures. Knowing my luck, I would have to get married to a creeper.” 

“Even if you married Getou, you'd still be marrying a creep,” you grumbled, dusting the dirt off your behind. “You need something? Or did you harass me just for the fun of it.” 

You heard Gojo, your fiancé, scoff and shuffle behind you. “I just wanted to remind you to humble yourself! Just because I'm forced to marry you doesn't mean you're accomplished or cool or anything, got it?” 

Being in his presence had you craving a cigarette. “Yeah, got it.” 

“And Suguru's better than you,” he added, aloof voice bowing down beneath hardened, steeled words. “Don't forget that either.” 

You bit down on your cheek to ward away the heat building under your skin, the magma sinking deep into your eyesockets and threatening to pour down your esophagus. The taste of iron washed against your tongue, and you released your flesh from between your molars. Sometimes, you wanted to keep boring down on yourself to see how much you could really take, but a fear of the answer too often made you think twice. 

“This is starting to bore me,” you said, tilting your head as you caught a flicker of red in your rain-muddied reflection. You touched your fingers to your tongue and found translucent red coating the tips. 

“Pah. I was gonna say the same!” You watched his reflection turn away. “Good luck trying to impress me.” 

I'm not interested. You watched him walk away, slouching and with his hands in his pockets like he was emulating some kind of yankii character. He might have fit the bill, if he hadn't had such a ridiculous, brat side to him. Just deal with it. You wiped the red on your uniform with a sigh. Tomorrow's a new day.

--

Feel free to comment on this post if you want to be tagged for the full version!

@kamote-kuneho @tr4nnie @silvern1006

[jdmainman123]

#Reports and got fish here yacht THEY TOLD ME YOU WERE HERE BECAUSE YOU WERE HERE? THE HIGHWAY THAT GOES TO ALL THESE CITIES IN A CAR.... NO PLANE NEEDED.... The whole objective of me without the jealous side what to have me and my brother and for the statement to come out they told me you were here MEANS IN THOSE TINY CARS YOU GUYS GOT YOUR DREAM COME TRUE YOU GUYS ARE FOLLOWING MY BROTHER coronavirus was called to people flying in to check and then flying out to go and check if it was my brother my identical brother?

IDK

But I'm I'm smart enough to know some of these cities were not connected SOME OF THESE CITIES I DON'T THINK ALL YOU PEOPLE WOULD HAVE BEEN WELCOME IN and some of these cities just recently I didn't see you guys all drive in on your cars the union was voided AND I LIKE THE BEACHES FOR A WHILE I REMEMBER A FEW TIMES I WAS THERE AND HE WAS THERE ON A DIFFERENT BEACH and we found it weird for us to only be using audio with the satellite only transferring almost trying to match each other statement word for word

YOU KNOW WHAT I THINK SINCE WHEN YOU GUYS ARE CHECKING ON ME TO SEE IF IT'S MY IDENTICAL TWIN BROTHER. YOU KNOW EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE ONE OF THOSE BLACK HAIR WHITE SKIN BOYS GETS THROWN OUT OF HIS HOUSE BY HIS GIRLFRIEND AND HE'S HUNTED DOWN IN ONE OF THESE STREETS remember the statement all you guys built this place to hunt grown man and then you guys were resorted to killing babies because no grown men were thrown out of their cities? Killed babies to pay the bills?

And again during a tour for me to take off and visit another city that's not connected to this highway OR THAT YOUR UNION ISN'T WELCOME I WAS VERY AWARE WHEN I WAS FLYING OVER THESE RELAY STATIONS OR SATELLITE CITIES it's a long road up and it's in between a lot of cities it would be very dangerous for you guys to go so far SO FAR DRIVING THROUGH A CITY THAT MAYBE YOU'VE NEVER BEEN WOULD BE THE MOST DANGEROUS PART THEY WOULD PROBABLY OPEN FIRE ON YOU whoops wrong bathroom stall

And then why wouldn't it be every once in awhile my brother checked in I've been to all these sunlight cities especially kidnapped by Dallas twice and kidnapped by Kansas twice I BELIEVE IT WAS THE TRAIN ARGUMENT I BELIEVE I WAS THERE BECAUSE THEY SAID I'VE SEEN SOMETHING ON THE TRAIN and they called me back to say it again to see it again MY INTEGRATE BRAIN GOT ME INTO TROUBLE I SAW SOMETHING THAT YOU PEOPLE COULDN'T SEE

But why wouldn't it be normal for every once in awhile me and my brother me and my brothers maybe one maybe two TO BE CAPTURED IN THE SAME SUNLIGHT CITIES THE PROBLEM IS THEY'RE NOT ALL CONNECTED ESPECIALLY WHEN IT COMES TO A PLANE remember this over 50 state names on the map and for every state name THERE'S LIKE TWO TRILLION FRANCHISES ALL BUILT THE SAME ALL LOOK THE SAME WITH THE SAME NAME but these ones here are specific to the demographics of what I'm used to being in the region of Florida with Atlanta and we are going to find out just where we are on the distance between Mississippi and tennessee. Real quick 0 TO 100 REAL QUICK

Yeah and you guys can keep that one you guys didn't know just because on the map 50 states IN REALITY THEY'RE JUST 50 DIFFERENT RESTAURANTS 50 DIFFERENT FRANCHISES PLACED ALL AROUND THE WORLD THAT ALL LOOK THE SAME but what this idiot did in building the satellite cities sunlight cities he built the same ones all together all around the world Atlanta New Orleans and Florida BUT THE MOST IMPORTANT PART TO REMEMBER WHAT I DIDN'T SEE OR WHAT YOU GUYS HAVEN'T SEEN THAT HE BUILT AROUND US WE COULD BE NEIGHBORING CHICAGO RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER WE COULD BE NEIGHBORING A FRANCHISE OF COLORADO RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER and the point is most importantly is sunlight City seems to be the only homeless shelter the only homeless cities that I've ever been in

But you know it's a very common theme for them to hunt down one of my best Brothers black hair white son ON THE SAME SATELLITE IT WAS ONE OF THE REPORTS THAT CAME IN it only took 3 days for him because he wasn't experienced he couldn't take care of himself his girlfriend kicked him out of the house. I wonder if they ever paid her?

BUT I HONESTLY I HONESTLY DON'T KNOW WHERE AT I KNOW I KNOW A LOT OF ARENAS THE LIKE GLADIATOR ARENAS TOO GLADIATORS FIGHTING IN ARENA MY ARENA IS I'M THE GLADIATOR FIGHTING A LION

So I no it's possible for you guys to have a one or more of my brothers here at the same time and this is the this is the cool part he could be a younger brother of mine he could be just starting out AND I DON'T THINK YOU GUYS WOULD RECOGNIZE HIM the statement was as I got older I was transferred to different cities with people woke people very aware of who I was and they wouldn't of behave the same around my younger brother they would have tricked him out they would have tripped him out RIGHT PROBABLY SAID SOMETHING OR DONE SOMETHING THAT WAS FOR HIM TOO YOUNG TO SEE OR HEAR

And most important you guys have to realize one thing it could be black hair whites on ever since I cut my hair I regret it cut my hair LAX 3/4 I believe if I didn't cut my hair. THE REPORT WAS THEY WERE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF ME BY MAKING ME EXTRA SICK FOR MY HAIR TO FALL OUT AND AS I WOULD BRUSH IT MY HAIR WOULD FALL OUT AND THEN I WAS FORCED TO GET DRINKS AND EXTRA DRINKS to grow it back. It's a very painful it's very hard to say hard to swallow BUT I BELIEVE YOU GUYS TRICKED ME INTO CUTTING MY HAIR AND I DIDN'T WANT TO CUT MY HAIR if I didn't cut my hair these tours here my last days would have been completely different

What but for me to understand that you guys are not allowed to leave for your own safeties some of you never left for your own safety for you to allow me to believe that every single one of these cities is connected by that road. SO WOULD BE CHICAGO AROUND HERE ATLANTA AROUND HERE DALLAS AROUND HERE AND WE JUST CAME BACK FROM PHOENIX IS VERIFIED AND LAX IS VERIFIED and I know for sure you guys have one of my brothers where he is I don't know I know for sure you guys could have three of my brothers THEY WON'T TELL ME IT'S LIKE WHEN I'M ON THE BEACH SOMETIMES I RECOGNIZE A WEIRD BEHAVIOR THAT IDENTIFIES WITH THEY HAVE ONE OF MY BROTHERS ON THE OTHER BEACH AND THEY'RE ALL WATCHING THEM ON SATELLITE TALK THEY'RE ALL LISTENING TO HIM TALK if only 3/4 of Google wasn't an accident because where are we really socialism is a torturous crime for you to do this to people not let them know where we are not to let them see on a satellites and for you to continue for us to talk I'M NOT HERE TO TEACH YOUR KIDS ENGLISH IS WHAT HAPPENED YOU GUYS WANT ME HERE TO TEACH YOUR KIDS ENGLISH and I'm not doing it

But I move around so quickly and in the fields in the fights out in the streets happened so much I CAN'T IMAGINE YOU GUYS BEING ABLE THAT'S PROBABLY WHY I WAS KEPT IN LAS VEGAS FOR 3 MONTHS AT A TIME when I was early when I was younger but the point is you guys here only have 30 days

And it's ideal to put satellite City at the satellite City and chase some gorgeous sexy supermodel around. BUT AGAIN WHEN IT COMES TO MEN AND WOMEN YOU ARE SEPARATING A MAN FROM WOMEN AND THIS IS A DANGEROUS THING YOU CAN'T DO THAT YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO DO THAT when you put people's lives at risk IT NEVER WORKS OUT YOU KNOW BUNGEE JUMPING NEVER WORKED OUT PARACHUTING OF A PLANE NEVER WORKED OUT MOUNTAIN CLIMBING NEVER WORKED OUT because they were too dangerous

That's why I was awarded and then what happened with the tattoos on my face they would start making me bleed and try to erase the tattoos and for a while I was putting tattoos on my face because I was charged with one of my brothers incidences on the satellite black hair white skin and I felt completely heartbroken and completely guilty AND THAT'S WHY I WOULD WEAR TATTOOS IT WAS RECOMMENDED I WEAR TATTOOS TO SEPARATE MYSELF but this odd failed family once wants to continue to erase me by you guys not knowing my wealth and my success and finding another black and white skin boy drunk on the corner and then saying that's him that's the one we like YEAH WE CAN'T AFFORD TO SUCCESSFUL YACHT FISH

And again we have a perfect example here you guys chose my failed and fallen brother airplane Jason that was never cleared because you guys like this statements and guess what he was a successful you guys could beat him in a staring contest you guys could say I'm cooler than you cuz I've been on more planes AND STUFF LIKE THAT HIS ENERGY WASN'T HARD TO BEAT AND YOU GUYS KIDNAP ME HERE TO CHALLENGE MY ENERGY BECAUSE OF YOUR JEALOUS BLACK MEN OBVIOUSLY YOU GUYS ARE DOING THIS FOR DESERT CITY LAS VEGAS and you know it's not like I came upon the report 5800 years after data breach black hair white son couldn't possibly have a daughter because of his war crimes against humanity that s*** was out there for free everybody knew that it's not like science showed me like the only person in the world Black Mass Justice these things were out there already before I didn't just come upon it these people all knew it

So yeah it's possible that there's more than two or three brothers of mine here in these satellite cities identical yacht fish and believe me you would know BUT HERE IN MISSISSIPPI WE FIND IT IMPOSSIBLE YOU'RE GOING TO WANT TO ASK THESE PEOPLE WHERE THEY CAME FROM BECAUSE I BELIEVE THEY JUST CAME FROM ONE OF HIS SITES AND HE PROBABLY TOOK OFF ON AN AIRPLANE AND IT'S PROBABLY GOING TO TAKE YOU GUYS A SHORT WHILE TO DRIVE OVER THERE AND YOU GUYS FOUND OUT I'M IN SOME HOSTAGE NEGOTIATION SOME TINY CITY ON THE WAY HOME AND YOU GUYS JUST STOP IN HERE FOR FREE FOOD AND. DRINKS ON ME you guys know I own this now you guys know I own everything now over here all right MI CASA SU CASA

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That Kate Steinle killer definitely got more protections than any citizen. I’m Mr Meeseeks Look At Me Sweater As a matter of fact sanctuary cities violate that clause routinely!  I’m not going to complain about the president, he’s exactly what I expected in office. He hasn’t done anything to take away my support yet. But I’m more disappointed in Congress. Laws they all agreed upon two years ago should have been passed by now. They should be begging for more bills to pass out of boredom instead of a having a backlog. Some are trying to build a case that our President is crazy.

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Idk, maybe, but if this is crazy then I am convinced crazy is what this country needs to get back on track and we’ve had a year to see evidence of that. All this winning is just SO draining. and the MSM — fixated on russia russia russia — haven’t even shared with the CNN fake-news watchers about the record 125 federal constitution-abiding judgeships that are being filled…what a refreshing 3 more years this is going to be. Thank you! It’s great to harp on Trump and Russia when we should be putting Obama in prison for what he did to our Country.Russia had nothing to do with who voted for Trump.

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We all knew Hillary would keep up the Obama lies and stealing and corruption.No one convinced me to vote Trump but myself.Get over it and move on.BLM and all these other corrupt things Obama has created Trump is dealing with.Trump is trying to make America decent again. Love it love it love it! Bring us more independence Trump! I thrive on it. We have been living $20,000 below the poverty line forever. People need to stop living beyond their means and stealing from others so they can continue living their lifestyle.

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Meanwhile the people they steal from have nothing. Love Trump/Pence! This is all so long overdue! Grow up America! We can never expect that the mainstream media will gush over President Trump like they did for Obama, but all we ask is that they treat him fairly and without bias. So far, we aren’t even close.. Reading some of these responses shows me, and it should show everyone, that a fake news story explodes around the world, but the retraction only goes 10 miles out. I still say that ABC putting out false information will be investigated further and they still will have serious problems before this is said and done. Suspending Brian Ross for 4 weeks over this definitely isn’t enough.

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He works for them, therefore ABC is responsible for their false reporting. Lets face Trump is not liked because he exposes the power and influence of the well connected. They hate the thought of losing that control. For all those people who praise Obama. He created $9+ Trillion of debt with very little to show for it. If anyone thinks this will be good for their children or grandchildren they better think again. I just want to see my dollar worth more. I work 50 hours a week and have a newborn due in January.

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I can’t afford the cost of living and the working class needs help! I’m Mr Meeseeks Look At Me Sweater Trump has given wins to small town and middle class conservative Americans. The media will try to tell you he has not done anything or has just been losing. But liberals not getting a win does not mean conservatives have not been winning. After reading the posts I have come to realize that I made the right choice in Voting for trump. If Hillary been elected I would have been out of business as we had no work in the winter for 7 years under obama.