#bill and ted's excellent adventure gif

[silly4sillypoll]

[ballpitwitch]

KEANU REEVES as TED "THEODORE" LOGAN Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure (1989)

[valenli]

A Flat Coated Retriever anyone? He's literally the cutest..

[peteneems]

[beardedmrbean]

Dust

Wind

Dude

Socrates mind blown

[telekineticseance]

STUDY BUDDIES

pairing: ted logan x afab! reader

summary: your teacher gives you the assignment of tutoring one of the dumbest kids in school

genre: smut

word count: 1895

cw: p in v, dick riding

author’s note: this is mainly for @animulnitrate because they asked so nicely and they're my roomie so i can't say no

“Help out Ted Logan? The guy who thinks Joan of Arc is Noah’s wife?” You asked your teacher, you couldn’t believe what you were hearing. You were usually fine with tutoring others but when it came to Ted Logan, it was a lost cause. He barely knew basic math, spending hours with him trying to teach him history would be a nightmare.

“Yes..I know it’ll be hard at first but he needs to pass this exam or else he’s not passing the year and he’ll have to repeat a grade.” Mr.Ryan, your history teacher, explained to you He knew how bad Ted was and Ted’s best friend Bill was just as bad. You couldn’t imagine being in his shoes and having to teach not one of them, but both of them, at the same time. You let out a sigh of agreement and nodded before walking out of the class running into Ted at the end of the hallway.

“Whoa hey there Dudette! Gotta watch where you’re going.” He said, his hands holding onto your arms as he looked down at you with a grin on his face. You scoffed slightly at him while rolling your eyes and brushing his hands away. “Look Logan, I’ve been given the task of tutoring you tonight in preparation for your exam.”

Ted chuckled while nodding his head, his hair bouncing in the process, “Well alright! Alone time with a babe like you? I’m so down!” You hid back a giggle, as he smiled down at you. “Uh yeah..right. So do you want to study at your place?” You asked him.

“My place sounds sick!” You nodded as he gave you his address and the two of you parted ways before you went to the rest of your classes.

—

You walked up the steps to Ted’s front door and knocked gently, while holding onto the bag on your shoulder with your other hand. You heard footsteps run down the stairs before a loud bang on the door and the door opened revealing a disheveled Ted with one of those grins on his face, “My savior! Come in.” He said, moving to the side so you can walk in. You walk past him, looking around at the decorations, expecting to see something the total opposite than the preppy vibes you were viewing.

Ted lightly grabbed your arm and led you up the stairs, “Come on we can go to my room!” He ran up the stairs with you closely behind before leading you to a bedroom which was a lot more like you expected. The bed was unmade with posters plastered in random spots all over the walls of different movies and rock bands. Including some homemade posters of something called Wyld Stallyns. He stood in front of you throwing his arms in the air, “Presenting tu casa!”

You paused looking at him, “Actually..” You started before he dropped his hands and raised his eyebrow and you stopped, “Nevermind. Yes this is tu casa.” He grinned while nodding again before sitting down on his bed with a plop and you took your bag off your shoulder, sitting next to him before pulling out books. You sat your history book in your lap, opening it to a page before turning to him, “Okay so I thought I would start with the beginning and then just going through at whatever pace is more comfortable for you?” You asked him, looking over as he looked down at the book in your lip while nodding.

As the two of you looked through the book, Ted would inch closer to where your legs would be touching and you’d scoot away a little more. He would also move his hand close to yours as you held the pages open, lightly stroking his pinky against your hand in the process. Every time he’d try you would awkwardly clear your throat and move away from him, but he’d just go back to trying. Eventually Ted took a deep breath before looking at you, “You know…you’re quite the babe.”

You raised an eyebrow, looking at him as he grinned that same grin he’s had practically all night. “Thank..you?” His eyes widened a little bit and he shifted his position to look at you more, “No what I meant was you’re bodacious! Uh..a sight to see! Hot!” You couldn’t help but let out a giggle at his actions, he wasn’t smart but you did think he was cute at times. He blushed slightly, looking back down at the book, pointing at a picture of Napoleon, “Who’s the guy with the funny hat?”

You started to tell him the history of Napoleon Bonaparte and the French Revolution as he listened closely, nodding while you talked. Eventually you were interrupted by Ted moving in close, kissing you deeply. Your eyes widened as you pulled away and looked at him, “Oh I’m sorry.” He apologized, putting his hand over his mouth. You sat there in shock before leaning in and kissing him yourself. He slowly moved his hand up to your arms, stroking them as the two of you kissed. Your hands gripped onto the black vest he was always wearing as you deepened the kiss.

He pulled away, his lips a dark shade of pink from the kiss as he looked down at you, “Whoa.” He grinned as he slowly opened his eyes, almost as if he were in a trance. You felt your face heat up as you nodded. He bit his bottom lip slightly looking in your eyes, as his hand lightly stroked your cheek.  “Can we do that again?” He asked gently, leaning closer again. You nodded, caressing his cheek before kissing him again. You repositioned yourself, letting the history book fall to the floor as you sat in front of him on your knees.

Both of your hands were on the sides of his face, while his hands moved to your waist. Your tongue explored his mouth as he let out a few hums during the kiss. You slipped off the vest from his torso, and started to pull at his shirt before he put his hands on yours, pulling away. “I can’t.” He whispered against your lips. You pulled your hands away and distanced yourself from him, “Oh.”

“No no I want to,” He corrected before thinking for a minute, “But I just…I wouldn’t know what to do.” He mumbled, looking down at his lap, picking at one of the patches on his shorts. Did he mean? You lifted his face, looking into his eyes, “Have you done anything like this before?” He shook his head, looking into your eyes. You thought for a minute before moving close to him, “I can teach you..if you’d want.”

He smiled as he looked at you, “You would?” You nodded slowly as he nodded back, “Okay!” You giggled while rolling your eyes playfully before kissing him again, leaning him back against the headboard. You straddled his lap, moving your hands to start pulling off the shirt again. He moved his hands to your waist, pulling you close to him. Your hands moved to your own shirt, pulling it over your head as Ted watched, his eyes widening once he saw you in your bra. His gaze lingered on your chest, “Do you want me to take this off too?” You asked him, tracing your fingers along the lace of your bra. He gulped, nodding slowly as you unclasped your bra, pulling it off and putting it next to the two of you.

His eyes stayed focused on your chest, as you felt his length growing against your crotch. You bit your bottom lip before Ted leaned in, placing wet kisses on your chest before placing his lips on your nipple. Lightly sucking and biting on it, causing you to let out a moan. Your fingers tangled into his hair before he pulled away and looked up at you, “Is this okay?” You nodded slowly and he moved his mouth to your other nipple before repeating the process.

You moved your hips, grinding your crotch against his. He pulled his mouth away, letting out a breath of air while closing his eyes tight from the feeling. He looked up at you, his lids barely open. You bit your bottom lip before removing yourself from his lip and starting to pull off his shorts. You were slightly confused from the layering he was doing as when you pulled down the shorts, he had a pair of gray sweats on underneath. He bit his bottom lip, “They’re comfier than boxers.” He said softly.

You nodded, pulling down the sweats, revealing his growing length. He bit his bottom lip when he noticed you staring. He was definitely above average and you couldn’t help but let your gaze linger. You slowly pulled off your panties from underneath your skirt and threw them onto the floor before straddling Ted’s lap again. You could see the sweat beads from his forehead as he looked up at you, “Are you sure you want this?” You asked him, your hand caressing his face. He nodded slowly, “I-I’m just nervous. You’re really really pretty.”

You giggled slightly at him before kissing him deeply, moving your to the base of his cock, stroking him gently. He let out a gasp into the kiss, followed by a soft groan. You positioned the tip to your throbbing clit before lowering yourself down, He buried his head into your chest, letting out a small whimper as you continued moving your hips against him. He leaned his head back against the headboard, biting his bottom lip as you slid up and down on his length.

A mixture of moans and whimpers escaped his lips as you continued moving, rocking your hips in the process. You dug your nails into his chest, as his grip tightened on your hips. He thrusted his hips up causing you to let out a moan, throwing your head back in pleasure. Ted opened his eyes partially, watching you before leaning back and starting to kiss on your chest again, leaving marks all the way from your neck down.

Your hips moved in sync with one another as you felt Ted’s stomach tighten from underneath you before his eyebrows furrowed, “I-I’m cl- hmm.” He interrupted his sentence with a hum, throwing his head back against the headboard once more. You leaned down and pressed your lips to his once you felt yourself starting to reach your own high. Ted let out a small gasp as you felt his tip twitch , the two of you releasing at the same time. You rode out your high, practically sinking onto his chest, feeling the energy evaporate from your body. Ted’s face was flushed a deep shade of pink and his hair was sticking to his forehead from the sweat. You pulled yourself off of him, sitting on the bed next to him while processing the events that just happened.

“That was..” You started, “Excellent?” Ted said, looking at you.

You giggled slightly in response, “Sure. Let’s go with excellent.”

“Can we do it again?” He asked, his hand snaking around your waist as he buried his face in your neck. You nodded, knowing the two of you probably wouldn’t be getting much more tutoring done for the night.

[sarnie-for-varney]

They're boyfriends, your honour.

Gif from Pinterest

[ser-rctslcyer]

Keanu Reeves as Ted 'Theodore' Logan

Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure (1989)

[parvulous-writings]

AHHH YOU WRITE FOR BILL AND TED !! there's so little of them on here or anywhere else it's so sad.

If it's not too much trouble, could you write some Bill fluff hcs, or like a mini fic about gn or fem reader tutoring them both and Bill has a crush on them/her?

If not, no worries just ignore. And if you do, thank you for your service ��

OKAY OKAY - I'm going to combine these a little bit- so, you tutor both Bill and Ted, and Bill has a bit of a crush on you- as headcanons!

Apologies the sides of tutor/relationship are a tad uneven, I wrote most of this in the early hours of the morning, and muse was... all over the place XD

Not my gif

Bill had always just scraped by when it came to his grades. He was just about average for the majority of his education - but his teachers had always had an inkling that he could push himself more, the same with Ted as well. Neither of them particularly minded being average grade, though - they weren't failing, so why try change anything?

It's only when they start getting further into their High-School education that they have this... Nagging feeling, that something needs to be done- but, no matter how hard the pair of them try, nothing seems to change. Nothing... Grabs them, or holds their attention for very long. They try again and again - drilling each other, testing one another on the right answers to all the questions they've made based on the subjects. It never works, nothing sticks.

Starting to get desperate, Bill starts to turn to you - not explicitly, initially, though. He sits next to you in a couple of classes, so he starts looking over your shoulder every so often, scribbling down as many notes as he can without being suspicious. He manages it - but nothing makes sense to him OR Ted when they look back on the notes.

Unsure of what else to do, they keep up this little scheme. They've no better ideas, and though they have absolutely NO clue what half of it means, they cannot see any other option for them.

Unfortunately, Bill was not as sneaky as he thought that he was. Nowhere even close. You'd noticed a couple weeks ago- and you'd just let him continue, assuming that he would be able to go up at least a grade with the notes you'd essentially given him. But as you watched, his grades never changed. So, you decided to take a more active hand in it.

You approached him and his friend Ted one day, whilst they sat in the corner of the courtyard together, surrounded by books and notes they had made. "Bill, my most excellent friend," The darker haired one began, looking up from his work. "I can't understand a single thing any of these books say..." Bill looks up at this, looking equally as disappointed. "Neither can I, Ted... Neither can I..." He sighs, before returning to his little endeavour.

You clear your throat, startling both of them. They both turn to look up at you. "Uh... Hello?" Ted breaks the silence, "Can we help you?" He doesn't mean to sound rude at all, and if anything, he just sounds like he's attempting to sound like he's a gentleman of a bygone era. "Well, I was actually wondering if I could help you..." You chuckle back at them. Their eyes light up simultaneously.

And that's how it begins - your tutoring lessons. Twice a week, Tuesdays and Thursdays. Any subject, and all of them - you leave it to Bill and Ted to decide what you cover, and you spend however long they need on it. You actually begin to notice some remarkable improvement with this method- they finally start to understand and build on the knowledge you help them to gain. They start to improve in class, and you couldn't be prouder of them.

Ted thanked you to know end - and often showed his appreciation with a non-stop flow of all the musical facts stored in his head. Bill, on the other hand, was a little bit quieter. He often just... Gazed at you. He often stayed longer than he needed as well, thanking you for your time and making sure his notes were correct.

It was roughly two months of this before Bill actually decided to make his move on you. "So... Are you doing anything this evening?" "I don't think so... Why d'you ask, Bill?"

He tries to overlook the way his heart flutters - as it has started to more and more in the past few weeks - when you say his name. "Well, I was wondering if you'd like to catch a movie with me, there's this drive in theatre not too far away, and.."

You barely have to hear the rest of the sentence before you say yes - and you don't regret it. It was a sweet little evening - Bill even got you popcorn. He drove you home after that - and over the next few weeks, it became your thing. Go out to the movies, have some popcorn. Ted even comes along with you a few times!

You always looked forward to your movie night with Bill - whether it was at the theatre, the drive in, or even at home. Neither of you minded where it was; it was more of the fact that the pair of you were spending time with one another, outside of the tutoring. Even though it sometimes bled over into your study sessions- with Bill often going, "Hey, isn't that like when we saw..." when it's relevant (and even sometimes when it's not) - it's a nice getaway for the pair of you, and it's a little weekly tradition you have to yourselves for a very long time.

[hypocriticaltypwriter]

EVERYONE SHUT UP❗️❗️❗️❗️

LOOK HOW UTTERLY ADORABLE THIS MAN IS I'VE BEEN BOTH CRYING AND GIGGLING AT MY SCREEN WITH THIS GIF PLAYING ON LOOP

Look how happy he is... Look at his big eyes and that grin... And his air guitar...cAWEEBEBEBEBEBEBE

He has the face of a Baby Deer SOBBING

[mrthemovieman]

[bonniebirddoesgifs]

Bonniebirddoesgifs:

Ted 'Theodore' Logan (B&TEA) - Credit if using

[valenli]

Wanted to try something... 🎸

(the gif pauses mid way but, regardless, I love this)

[peteneems]

[nkp1981]

Happy Birthday Keanu Reeves

[ringa-starr]

Bill and Ted: Rock-A-Bye-Bivalve

Hi everyone! I am so excited to share my new fic with you guys! Well, old-new I guess. This has been sitting on my computer for the longest time now and I finally got around to finishing the first part! I've decided this is going to be two-parter and the second part will be even more exciting!

Not only am I trying to get back into the Bill and Ted fandom, I'm also trying to get back into writing and I think I'm getting there, slowly but surely.

Anyways I'll quit rambling. I really hope you guys enjoy this first part and please feel absolutely free to like, reblog, follow and comment.

Be Excellent to Each other and Party on Dudes!

-Deidra

Words: 3.3K

“No more pencils, no more books!” Bill S. Preston Esquire cried out happily as he and his best friend Ted “Theodore” Logan ran out the front doors of San Dimas High before jumping down the small flight of stairs in front of the school.

Ted jumped to the ground after Bill, his long, dark hair flying up as he did so, a wide, excited smile that matched his best friends on his face. “No more teacher’s dirty looks!” Ted finished the rhyme before he and Bill did their signature guitar move.

It was the last day of school and Bill and Ted were more than ready for three months of nothing but rest and relaxation. They deserved it after all…the boys had to work their butts off in order to earn the ‘C’ averages they made in all their classes.

“Just think, Dude!” Bill exclaimed as he and Ted walked side-by-side on the sidewalk in the direction of Bill’s house.

“Three whole months of nothing but sleep, tv, video games and-“Ted smirked at his best friend, knowing good and well where he was going with this.

“-ROCK N ROLL!” the boys cried in unison before jumping up and playing air guitar again.

By this time, the two were just a couple feet away from Bill’s house, Bill taking his house key out of his pants pocket, not wanting to waste a single second of vacation time.

As Bill slid in the key to unlock the front door, the excitement he felt was almost overwhelming, Ted feeling the exact same way as he practically bounced on the soles of his shoes. 

“What should we do first?” Ted wanted to know, as if taking the question straight from his best friend’s mind.

The two walked inside, smiles on their faces as they collapsed on the living room couch.

“Watch MTV? Go relax by the pool? Go out to the garage and have a most excellent jam session?”

Before Bill could answer, however, his tv suddenly switched on by itself, their mentor and friend from the future Rufus on the screen in front of them.

“Hello, my most excellent friends”, Rufus greeted his two teenage companions.

Bill and Ted snapped their heads in the direction of Rufus’s voice.

“Rufus?” the boys questioned in unison; voices full of confusion.

“What are you doing in Bill’s TV?” Ted asked, a goofy grin forming. “Are you auditioning for one of those singing contests shows?” 

Rufus chuckled and slightly shook his head. “Not this time, Ted”, he replied, the smile on his face slowly fading.

In unison, he held up a piece of paper in either hand, the look on his face stern.

“I’ve been looking over your final report cards”, Rufus explained, “and it seems as if you two only passed your classes by a hair.”

“Not a problem, Rufus”, Bill assured his friend with a confident look that matched the tone in his voice as he leaned back against the couch.

He put his feet up on the coffee table before continuing.

“My pal Ted and I just need a bit of a vacation from our everyday learning environment. By the time school starts again, we’ll be ready for some learning!”

The goofy smile returning to his face, Ted happily nodded in agreement only for Rufus to softly chuckle and shake his head in disbelief.

“I wish I could say I believe you, William '', Rufus told the curly blonde, a small filing cabinet now beside him. He opened it up and skimmed through a few file holders until he came across what he was looking for, pulling out a small stack of papers from one of the files.

“But it looks as if your report cards of the past say otherwise.” Bill and Ted glanced at each other, looks on their faces matching that of two kids who were being scolded by their parents.

“It’s because of this”, Rufus went on, “that I have decided that you two don’t really need a summer vacation this year- “ 

“No way!” Bill and Ted interrupted in unison, absolute horror in their voices.

“Yes way”, Rufus mocked their exclamation calmly, a smirk slowly forming on his face. “Instead, I think this would be a great opportunity for the two of you to learn a lesson in responsibility that will make the concern of your schoolwork seem as simple as tying your shoes.”

Bill and Ted gave each other a nervous look. There was no telling the kind of thing Rufus would have them do!

“F-For the whole summer?” Ted stammered, fear taking over his whole body.

Rufus nodded. “For the whole summer”, he confirmed. 

“What about our parents?” Bill wanted to know. “How are we going to do what you want us to do without them finding out?”

“I’ve already taken that into consideration”, Rufus told the boys. “I have arranged for your parents-“he looked at Ted “-and your brother, Ted, a three month trip to Hawaii.”

At this bit of news, Bill and Ted slowly exchanged looks of shock, the eyes wide and jaws agape.

“Bogus!” Bill exclaimed.

“Most heinous!” Ted agreed.

“I’m sorry, gentlemen”, Rufus told them sincerely, “but I feel as if this is the only way you two are going to learn.” “Not only that”, the older man was quick to add, “but this will also teach you two about the true meaning of teamwork.”

Now came the dreaded question. “Well, what do we have to do, Rufus?” Bill asked.

At the question, Rufus smiled. “I’m glad you asked, Bill”, he replied as he looked down at his watch. “You should find out right about…”

As if on cue, Bill and Ted’s heads snapped up in attention at the sound of a knock at Bill’s front door.

“…now”, Rufus finished his sentence.

Nervously, Bill stood up and answered it, Ted on his heels. 

“Hello?” Bill asked, sticking his head out the door and looking from left to right, only to see that no one was standing on his front steps.

“Bill!” Ted cried after a couple moments; his eyes wide with surprise as something sitting on the front porch caught his attention. “Look!” He pointed to the object sitting at Bill’s feet.

Looking down, the blonde saw something small wiggling around underneath a small, light blue blanket which fit perfectly inside a small basket. Eyes wide with a mixture of surprise, wonder, and confusion, Bill slowly and carefully bent down, picking up the basket.

The blonde then slowly and carefully took a bit of the tiny blanket in his fingertips before slowly pulling it back only slightly, a bundle of blonde curls that matched his own coming into view, the face of a tiny human following close behind with chocolate brown eyes staring back into his green ones. 

The tiny creature’s mouth was formed in a small ‘o’ of the same confusion, wonder, and surprise that filled the teen who was holding him. “Dude!” Ted gasped. “That’s a baby!” 

In that instant, a wave of panic rushed over Bill and he nearly jumped clear out of his skin when Rufus’ voice could be heard again. “You are correct, Ted”, the older man said from his spot inside Bill’s television with a knowing smile. “Gentlemen, say hello to little Keanu Alexander. You two are going to be his parents for the summer.” 

“What?!” Bill and Ted exclaimed in unison, their eyes almost bugging out of their heads. Rufus nodded, holding his ground. 

“Thanks to the technology of the future”, he explained. “I took half of your DNA’s and put them together to create the baby you see before you.” 

At this piece of information, Bill and Ted gave each other awkward looks before looking back at Rufus who immediately smiled and shook his head. “Now I know what you two are thinking”, he told them, “but this is just a project for you guys to learn that there are some responsibilities harder than doing well in school and maybe by the end of the summer, you guys will have learned a thing or two from this experience.” 

He clasped his hands together, his smile getting slightly larger. “Now that that is settled, I’ll leave the two of you to decide what your next step is going to be. Best of luck, my most excellent friends.”

And with that, Bill’s tv switched off and the house went silent.

Bill and Ted each looked at the baby Bill was holding in complete silence before Ted nervously rubbed the back of his neck. “So, what do we do now?” he asked. 

Bill shrugged. “I don’t know, Dude”, he replied before an idea hit him moments later. “Hey! I think there is some of my old baby stuff in the attic! Let’s go see if we can find it!

“Excellent!” Ted agreed. 

Bill carefully put baby Keanu back in the basket and picked it up by the handle before following Ted up to the very top floor of his house.

**

Pulling on the pull chain, the dark attic was suddenly filled with light, boxes upon boxes among other antiques and items of all kinds from all parts of the attic greeted the two teens.

“Whoa!” Ted gasped as he and Bill walked further inside. “This looks like my uncle’s storage room!” 

Bill said nothing as he walked to the very back of the attic where he saw several boxes stacked on top of each other, some labeled BILL’S BABY CLOTHES and BILL’S BABY TOYS among other things.

Bill smiled widely. “Ted!” he called. “Over here, dude!” Ted hurried over to Bill’s side and smiled just as wide as his friend. “Alright!” he cried. “Let’s get moving!” He took a couple of the smaller boxes in his arms and started to walk towards the ladder which led to the second floor.

It was only then that a new realization hit Bill when he heard Keanu sneeze from the basket. Frowning, Bill gently set the basket down and picked up the tiny infant who, he now saw, was wearing only a diaper. Ted looked over his shoulder when he did not hear Bill’s footsteps behind him. “What’s wrong, Bill?” he asked.

“How are we going to watch the baby and get these boxes down at the same time?” Bill thought out loud. Setting down the boxes, Ted began to think until suddenly…”I got it!” Ted cried. “Why don’t I bring the boxes down while you stay downstairs with the baby?” “Ted! Great thinking, Dude!” Bill praised his friend, causing Ted to smile happily.

Bill then spotted the few pieces of his crib sitting against the side of the attic. “I’ll put the baby in my room”, he said, “and then I’ll come back for my old crib. Then I can have it set up when you have the rest of the stuff ready!” “Excellent!” the boys exclaimed in unison, playing air guitar. Well, Bill played air guitar as best he could. This caused Keanu to start laughing, Bill and Ted giving him a smile.

**

“Well, that’s the last of it, Bill”, Ted announced as he put down the final box among the few others in his best friend’s room before wiping the sweat off his forehead. “Phew!” Ted sighed as he slumped down on Bill’s bed, lying on his back. It was only then that he noticed something was slightly different. Smiling wide, Ted sat up and saw that Bill’s old crib was set up against the wall in front of him.

“Hey!” he cried. “You finished it!”

“Yep!” came Bill’s voice as he walked down the hallway, “and this little dude is ready for anything!” Bill entered the room with a now fully dressed baby Keanu in his arms. 

The baby was dressed in one of Bill’s old baby outfits: a white onesie with a black bow-tie below the collar, the words Ladies, I have arrived below it with the word arrived in black cursive font. Tiny black socks covered the baby’s equally tiny feet as well.  

“You look most excellent, Little Dude!” Ted told Keanu before ruffling his curls, causing the baby to babble happily and reach his little arms out to Ted. Smiling, Ted gently took the baby from Bill and began playing with him as he talked to him in baby talk.

It was only five minutes into playtime that Keanu suddenly started crying loudly. “Ted!” Bill cried. “What did you do, Dude?” 

“What?” Ted cried. “I-I didn’t do anything Bill! I was just playing with him and he started crying! I swear!” Bill knew he was wrong to accuse his best friend like that, but the baby’s cries caught him completely off guard.

Keanu’s cries were now getting louder. “What do we do?!” Ted asked in a panic as he began to gently rock the baby. “Uhhhh ….ummm”, Bill stammered, trying to come up with an idea and quick. Doing the very first thing that came to mind, Bill started making funny noises with faces to match. 

“Blah-blah-blah! Look at the funny face!” the teen said as he rolled his eyes and stuck out his tongue. “Doo, doo-doo, doo-doo! Look at the funny face!” His face beginning to get a little sore after a few minutes and with the baby’s cries not letting up, Bill decided to admit defeat. However, Ted was not giving up so easily.

“Maybe he’s hungry”, the teen spoke his thoughts out loud. “Oh, bogus!” Bill cried, suddenly remembering something. So that’s what his dad wanted him to do this afternoon! “We don’t have any milk!” 

He began digging through his pants’ pockets for the tiniest bit of money, even checking his socks and shoes a couple times, but he had nothing. “You got any money, Ted?” Bill asked, a slightly desperate tone in his voice. Ted began checking his own pockets after handing the baby to Bill. “Sorry, dude”, he said. “I’m broke.”

“What can we feed him then?” Bill wanted to know. At the question, Ted’s face brightened, his wide, goofy grin on his face. “I know just the thing!” he cried with confidence, running down to the kitchen before Bill could ask anything else.

Hearing Ted fishing around in the kitchen cabinets moments later, Bill gently began to rock little Keanu to help soothe him at least a little. “Shh shh shh shh” Bill softly whispered in the baby’s ear, beginning to pace his bedroom floor. “It’s all gonna be ok. Ted will be back any minute with something for you to eat.”

As soon as he had finished that sentence, Bill’s eyes went a little wide at the sound of…the microwave running? ‘Oh’, he thought with a smile, relieved that his best friend had found something for the little dude. ‘Ted probably found some canned milk Missy keeps in the kitchen sometimes for her ‘beauty treatments.’

Bill was about to finish his seventh lap around the room when he heard Ted’s footsteps rushing down the hall and into his bedroom. Slightly out of breath with the smile still on his face, Ted showed Bill what he had come up with.

“Veggie burger!” he cried happily. Bill glanced down at the paper plate in his best friend’s hand and sure enough there sat a leftover veggie burger from the Preston’s dinner last night.

“Dude!” Bill proclaimed. “Babies don’t eat veggie burgers! They can’t even chew them!”

“You’re right Bill!” Ted replied before facepalming himself with his free hand. “I don’t even know what I was thinking!” 

With that, Ted took the veggie burger from the plate and took a big bite out of it, chewing it slowly for several moments.

“I’ll just chew it for him!” he cried happily though a mouthful of burger before giving a couple more good chews and opening his mouth, aiming the chewed-up veggie burger at little Keanu’s mouth.

“Ted!” Bill cried in a disgusted voice. “Dude, that's so disgusting!” Ted swallowed the chewed-up burger in his mouth. “Birds do it!” he informed Bill. “Does he look like a bird to you?” Bill snapped before shaking off the frustration he was feeling.

“Okay”, Bill said after clearing his head for a moment. “Let’s think of something else…”

As Bill was coming up with a new solution, a strong, foul smell met Ted’s nostrils.

“How about chili?” Bill finally suggested.

Ted gently took the baby from his best friend again as if he wanted to inspect something. Carefully looking in the baby’s diaper, all of Ted’s suspicions were now confirmed.

“Oh, most heinous!” he cried. “Looks like he already had chili, Dude!”

“Ugh!” Bill groaned in disgust as he pinched his nose closed with the tip of his thumb and pointer finger. “Did you see any diapers in those boxes, Ted?”

Ted nodded, walking over to Bill’s six-shelves dresser, and opening the third one from the top where a couple neatly folded stacks of Pampers diapers greeted him.

"Hold on just one second", Ted told his best friend with a smile as he carefully laid the baby on Bill's bed. Not even three minutes later, little Keanu's crying had stopped and Ted hugged the giggling baby close.

"Here he is!" he exclaimed. "Good as new!"

"Ted!" Bill's voice had a touch of bewilderment to it as he took the baby in his own arms. He had known Ted pretty much all his life but Bill had never known that his best friend knew how to change a baby's diaper! "How did you know how to do that?"

Ted grinned and swatted his hand to the side in modesty, slipping his other hand in his shorts pocket as he smiled at the ground before looking back up at Bill. 

“Aw, my dad had me help out with Deacon when he was a baby”, he explained. “You know, I can’t believe I remember how to do that.”

Silence followed as little Keanu slowly fell asleep in Bill’s arms. 

***

A few minutes later Bill and Ted were walking out of Bill’s kitchen, a can of Coke in each of their hands. Bill sighed as Ted opened his soda, taking a drink.

“What’s wrong, Bill?” Ted asked.

“Nothing”, Bill replied as the two teens sat on the couch. “I just think it sucks that we won’t be able to have any fun this summer.”

“What are you talking about?” Ted asked with a positive smile. “Taking care of a baby could be fun.”

“How?” Bill wondered out loud.

“Hmmm…” Ted tapped his chin as he looked up at the ceiling, trying to think. “It could be like playing house!” he said after a moment. “One of us can be the mom and the other can be the dad.”

At his best friend’s response Bill laughed out loud. 

“No way!” the curly blonde cried out. “No way am I putting on any of Missy’s clothes!”

At this Ted laughed too. “That’s not what I mean”, he said.

Bill opened his own Coke and sipped thoughtfully in silence for a few minutes. The images of him and Ted playing with little baby Keanu, and taking turns feeding him, changing him, and rocking him to sleep slowly entered his mind.

“Yeah”, Bill finally said with a small smile. “I guess it could be fun and besides, the little dude is totally cute.”

Ted nodded in agreement. “I know. Believe me Bill, this summer will go by in no time.”

“Or”, Bill quickly added, a better idea coming to mind. “We do so well at taking care of the baby that Rufus lets us off the hook early!”

“Hey yeah!” Now Ted was even more excited, his smiling having grown bigger.

“Then let’s do it!” Bill exclaimed, lifting his soda can. “To being the best parents a kid ever had!”

Ted lifted his own can. “And to the most rockin summer ever!” he added.

And with the sound of the two cans hitting together, it was official.