#bilight's bs

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Why do you believe every character in twilight is bi

I thought Alice was the only one

If I don’t come up with a new character to headcanon as bisexual every 24 hours the severed body part of a loved one shows up in a box on my porch

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Okay, I’ve figured out what was wrong with my original outline for the Victoria and Bree Cullen AU - I wasn’t changing the original story enough, so here’s an updated list of non-spoiler changes and adjustments: 

The saga’s timeline length changes from around nearly two years to a solid 6 years. Instead of 3 months, the events of Twilight take around 11. New Moon and Eclipse also take up a year and 2 or 3 months each. The events of Breaking Dawn are massively reimagined, but the major beats (Bella being changed, the wolf pack splitting, the allies gathering, the confrontation with the Volturi) take up the remaining two years.

Bella and her peer group are older, and attending a local college.

Edythe replaces Edward. She’s 20, not 17, and Bella has just turned 19 when they first meet.

Edythe and Bella spend a lot more time as just friends, a bit over half a year, and have only just begun to consider each other as more when shit goes down during baseball.

Esme takes Jasper’s place guarding Bella, but Victoria is sent to intercept them rather than just standing guard. Esme still convinces them to spare Victoria, allowing them to incapacitate her, and the coven still offers to free her in exchange for Bella.

James still refuses, taking her capture as a sign that Victoria’s powers are no longer useful to him, but he also alludes to Alice being his singer, which freaks her out. Before they can find out more, he bites Bella on the wrist.

Panicking, Emmett knocks him down and Edythe grabs Bella. Victoria damages one of James’s arms and his back with Emmett’s help, and Alice traps him beneath a collapsing wall just as a fire breaks out, and they have to abandon the building quickly to get to safety.

After Edythe sucks the venom out, the coven returns to Forks with Victoria. They make peace during a little over a week as she recovers, with Esme’s help. She tries to offer her a place to stay, but Victoria is confused and lost after the death of James and runs away.

She wanders for a bit before visiting Laurent in Alaska, but though it’s a happy reunion, she feels out of place, like she’s intruding on his new life, and soon leaves. She eventually makes her way back to Forks, just in time for prom night.

She isn’t initially there to join the coven - she’s looking for Esme’s guidance in particular, and Esme wants to take her in, and convinces the majority of the coven to agree.

Edythe is 100% against it for fear of Bella’s safety, and Rosalie is not in favor of it either, because it could endanger them. Jasper is neutral. The other four - plus Bella - are in more or less full support of it.

Both Jasper and Victoria lose control with Bella’s papercut, but when Edythe shoves Bella aside and she gets injured by the glass, Edythe momentarily loses control, too. She doesn’t attack like the others, but it’s a very close call. This is why she decides to leave Bella. She does not abandon her in the forest because she’s not a prick.

During New Moon, Laurent goes to check on Bella, but unlike in my original post, he does so because Victoria has asked him as a favor for the sake of Esme, Alice, and to a lesser extent, Edythe. He spooks the pack but no fighting, chasing, or death ensues.

The Denali Coven, therefore, has no reason not to help fight the Newborns. James tries to get Laurent on his side when they arrive, but he refuses to betray Victoria. He joins Seth and Edythe guarding Bella so that both groups have someone who knew James.

Diego manages to escape James. Bree doesn’t know where he is.

During the battle for the Newborns, the lies that James has been telling Riley are revealed by Laurent. Riley abandons him and joins the other newborns. He tries to kill Victoria, but fails. After the battle has been ended and the Volturi arrive, Riley survives along with Bree, but he does not join the Olympic Coven. He is taken in by someone else...

Those are all the non-spoiler changes I've made to the original post that I can think of atm - let me know what you think! I also want to get some of my Breaking Dawn plot straight, so for anyone who’s interested, I might reblog this with the huge overhaul that that requires. Otherwise, thanks for reading!

TAGLIST: @alaska-blu @cmgmurphy @michaelalovesseaside @loudlyglorioustragedy @habblez-the-babblez @fiercehunter411 @snailcullen @shittytwilightaus @a-checkered-mate @imawednesdaygirl @twilight-mademegay @twibidriveby@the-bilight-saga @trashanddrivel @bog-vampire @maryaliceswan@bellaedwardcullenswan @gaybeauswan @maryalicebrandon @orange-twilight@vampireguarddogs @thechangingcolourswithinthewoods @kerrym1516 @bitchrosalie @bellatops @alicemcullen @once-and-future-thot @rosalies-hale @everydayimwhining @marshmellowfromhell @emmettmccartycullen @bisexualstonerbella @softbutchbella @marishasray @raisealittle-hale @redeyerenaissance @cullen-trash @emivipers @superlamesaucebro @bellasdogpainting @persephonequeenofthedead @whomthefyck @recovered-emo @the-most-pathetic-edge-marquis @vanishshepard @scarecrowmax

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witch!angela au drabble

(written to fit into the Victoria and Bree Cullen au)

here’s how it goes. you’re a quiet kid. polite. bookish. mature for your age. when you introduce yourself with a nod and a “nice to meet you,” adults smile like you’re a performer in a play and notify your parents of what a little grown up you are. your glasses are too big for you. they slide down your nose. when class breaks, nobody wants to play games with you. well, you don’t really like games anyways. you like books, you tell yourself, you like learning, you like things that other kids don’t. you’re hardly a kid at all.

you spend your recesses in the library, or huddled in a corner of the field with books in your lap. you read nonfiction, because you’re hungry, because you yearn to know more, because you’re starved for something new. you read fantasy books, because they’re given to you on holidays, and you couldn’t bear to let it sit in your room with no one to read it. and you grow to like them too. they’re a different kind of nourishing. these kids are like you. smart kids. mature kids. kids that don’t play games at recess.

it doesn’t matter to them. these kids have magic.

magic probably isn’t real. they haven’t totally proven it either way.

the instructional books written about it are thinner, flimsier, and make your parents grimace. they have silly blue and purple graphics on the front, speckled with galaxies that don’t actually exist, people sitting cross-legged, glowing white numbers that are never mentioned in the books themselves, or digital art of white women with shoulder-length brown hair and flowers in their hands in a style that reminds you of ads at the doctor’s office. they’re filled with anecdotes about trips to the navajo desert. you stop reading these books.

magic isn’t real. but it’s interesting. and the idea had to come from somewhere. you stop reading the instructional books - your parents are visibly relieved - and you start reading histories. you learn about druids, about the oracle at delphi, about the origins of tarot and how astrology became astronomy and you skim through the visions of nostradamus. you read about the witch hunts. they hung them, burned them, drowned them, and god, people sucked. historians mourn for these poor midwives and medicine women who were killed for the crime of keeping to themselves and knowing too much.

but when you read about the made-up, fantastical things that people thought these women did, one specific detail crops up and sinks its teeth in your brain: the book. the witches wrote their names in the devil’s book.

you don’t just read about history, growing up. you read about math and the stars, too. you read about science, medicine, the history of both - they used to call real plants and herbs things like eye of newt, then macbeth goes up at the globe and suddenly it was a warning sign for women to list the ingredients in jars on their shelves. you apply what you learn. you make yourself salves and lotions. homemade candles and silly, sentimental good luck charms for your mom. that rune means torch, it stands for truth and knowledge. this one means gift.

you couldn’t say where it comes from, if someone put it there or if it put itself there. maybe it was always been there. maybe you’d only just noticed, like when you suddenly hear the washing machine after the buzzer goes off.  you want to think you left it there yourself, and you just didn’t remember doing it.

it doesn’t make a difference. the book is on your night stand. you haven’t read a word of it, but your place is saved with a red ribbon of a bookmark. you don’t open it right away, but you don’t get rid of it either. the book, on its part, is very patient with you. it sits by your alarm clock quietly. politely. content to wait. you don’t even look at it, an uninvited guest you can’t bring yourself to throw out in the cold.

a new family moves to town. no one knows much about them. they’re weird, and don’t get out much. it doesn’t bother you like it bothers some.

still, the book sits. you’re in high school. you’re not a kid anymore. you make friends, and mistakes, and you’re busy with assigned reading.

a new girl joins your class, the sheriff’s daughter. she’s quiet, too. you sit together sometimes, in a circle with your teenage friends around the lunch tables. she likes shakespeare. she almost gets hit by a car. she starts dating one of dr. cullen’s kids. she runs away to arizona and her partner brings her back with a broken arm. the other kids wonder if she had a mental breakdown, or is having one. they go to prom together. when you look up, a red-haired girl you’ve never seen before is watching them. they leave early, and she with them.

you go home. you don’t look at the book. a few days pass, and you do research, at the library and online, and you learn a little more about albinism, but nothing that explains how a red-haired girl could have red eyes. her eyes remind you of the cullens. how none of them are related, but they all have the same eyes. not red, something jessica calls hazel-gold-honey, but what has always looked to you like yellow. like a cat. or something else you’d find in the woods.

one thing leads to another. of course you open it.

you start at the first page. you don’t know what you were expecting - instructions, maybe? a prologue? an arcane curse? but it’s just a big, blank page with a name, and a little sprinkle of red. the next page is just the same, only a different name and a few less speckles of red. you start flipping through.

you thought it would be the names that caught your eye, and it’s interesting, the penmanship, the languages, the variation in formality - some of the names were preceded by titles, followed by epithets or dates, but one signature consisted of nothing but a small, black, lowercase ‘v’. but what really strikes you is the red. usually it’s a couple drops, but just as often it’s more, a puddle, a handprint, a sentence or drawing, an entire page soaked so thoroughly the page is stiff and wrinkled and warped.

you reach the bookmarked page. it’s blank. the page preceding you had been signed in glittery green gel pen, - ‘Kristen, de Lyon, 1993′ - and was sprinkled with a line of delicate dots from one corner to the next. you imagine a french girl sitting at a desk in her bedroom, slicing her hand with a kitchen knife. your parents are in the kitchen, though. you grab a pencil, then toss it aside and scrounge up a blue sharpie. you go downstairs, rummage around in a cabinet, pull out a mini sewing kit your parents had once used for emergency costume repair on halloween, and run back.

you sign ‘Angela Weber’ then steel yourself to prick your finger with a needle. just a few drops. there’s no goats, no strange men, no shadows or cackling laughter. you don’t feel any different. but then the blood sinks into the page and moves. you flip through the book again. pages and pages of red text overlaying names... centuries of secrets at your fingertips. 

you never meant to learn so much, you weren’t looking for magic or monsters, but it doesn’t feel like a deal with the devil. it just feels like turning to the next page, the red leaves smudges on your fingers but the letters don’t smear, so what does it matter?

eventually, the monsters will find you on their own but for now, you’re content to wait, keeping to yourself and knowing too much.

So I know this is not what people probably signed up for but I got an ask from @hottwilighttake that bit me with the drabble bug, and witch!angela is a part of the VBC au, so I thought I’d tag you just in case! If you’d prefer to be taken off the list, lmk, but otherwise thanks for your interest I love you all very much

TAGLIST: @alaska-blu @cmgmurphy @michaelalovesseaside @loudlyglorioustragedy @habblez-the-babblez @fiercehunter411 @snailcullen @shittytwilightaus @a-checkered-mate @imawednesdaygirl @twilight-mademegay @twibidriveby@the-bilight-saga @trashanddrivel @bog-vampire @maryaliceswan @bellaedwardcullenswan @gaybeauswan @maryalicebrandon @orange-twilight @vampireguarddogs @thechangingcolourswithinthewoods @kerrym1516 @bitchrosalie @bellatops @alicemcullen @once-and-future-thot @rosalies-hale @everydayimwhining @marshmellowfromhell @emmettmccartycullen @bisexualstonerbella @softbutchbella @marishasray @redeyerenaissance @cullen-trash @emivipers @superlamesaucebro @bellasdogpainting @persephonequeenofthedead @whomthefyck @recovered-emo @the-most-pathetic-edge-marquis @vanishshepard @scarecrowmax

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Hi I took your evil homo character quiz and I think I love you??? Thank you for making that, hands down best uquiz

Omg hiiii... i’m gonna cry thank you all my blood sweat and tears paid off... ily2 ty for taking it 💐

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alice cullen vibes

i think we need to stop focusing on telling little girls they need to be “empowered” & instead teach them about chaotic mirth, hijinks, & becoming complete rascals

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The concept of soulmates/bonds in fantasy fiction can be so interesting and beautiful and can be played with in so many creative ways and Smeyer saw that and took that and said, but what if I used it nearly exclusively to justify cheating, harassment, and pedophilia?

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Hate to break it to you Smeyer but Emmett and Rosalie are actually the HEALTHIEST couple of the coven!!! They're the Gomez and Morticia of the series!!

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You know how vampire skin is so often compared to stone? And you know how it sparkles in the sun? Well, what if instead of just sparkling, it behaved like different types of rocks and minerals? Imagine all these different kinds of textures - some are like Edward, whose skin sparkles bright in the sun like rhinestones, but then others don't sparkle at all. For some, the light gently illuminates veins and swirls of marbled gray. Others are unnervingly matte in the sun, skin indifferent to the beams like dried clay, and some have skin that mimics obsidian and quartz, that almost glassy texture. Maria's cheeks glow like pearls. Didyme is said to have looked as though she were made of porcelain.

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whos gonna do it

“bear in mind”

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I am once again asking everyone to watch Alluring Secret Black Vow

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carlisle really did just go feral by his own standards for a couple decades huh... part of me likes to imagine that he changed eddie boy and got a taste of that sweet sweet human blood and was like john mulaney meme “oh OKay... i get it... im not gonna do it but i get it”

and for a while after he was just on hyperalert for cases where he could ‘Save’ someone... like “oh... oh No... ur gonna die... maybe i should like... haha, bite u... to save u..... really..” 

and edward’s consistently just like “u said never to bite people unless theres no other option” and carlisles like “ya. ya, this is one of those times edward... obviously... don’t look at me like that seriously there’s No other way. besides it doesnt count if nobody dies and i dont swallow”

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shipping ask: number three, any OT3?

hey dude! sorry this is late i cant see asks on mobile so charlie/billy/sue is the big one, but i’m down for anything. tia/ben/jake sounds good, tanya/ed/bella would be interesting, and while i mostly like them for their friendship, heidi/vicoria/laurent or leah/victoria/laurent could be neat too!  ed/bella/jake would save them a lot of angst, but eds a bit repressed for that (and tbh jake probably deserves better lmao)

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witch!angela au ✨ for the headcanon ask

I have no idea what specific headcanon ask this is for so I’m just going to humbly offer you this: in my head (and in my au) witch!angela is not a hp kinda witch. twilight makes it clear that paranormal powers like alice’s exist in normal everyday humans, even if it is, as is typical of the series, criminally underused. this is not what angela has. being a witch isn’t the same as having powers. it’s a combination of what contemporary witch rituals look like with awful outdated historic depictions. deal with the devil stuff - only it’s not like, the devil... or at least angela is pretty sure it’s not.

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I need at least 2 hours before the day starts to do and be nothing, but I can be allowed no more than 4 or I will only be capable of properly doing and being nothing all day. It is a precarious balance.

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Okay I'm gonna make a post updating my Victoria and Bree Cullen AU (the one with Leahtoria endgame) going into all the changes I've made since so keep an eye out for that, lmk if you want to be on the tag list!

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@teamjacobthot say that

Why did Edward think it was a good idea to toss Bella when Jasper was charging at her? Fragile human + toss across the room + furniture = injury. Common sense should have prevailed in this situation. There were other ways Edward could gotten Bella out of the way like grabbing her and running.