#big thanks to chan for the beta! | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

haologram · 14 days ago

Text

between you and me ❄️ l.c [m]

↳ part of the winter with you collab! synopsis: everything you've ever done, chan has been by your side - either egging you on or talking you off the ledge. after a rough year of studying, failed relationships and having chan be the insistent angel on your shoulder, the holidays roll around - and let's just say you're not too happy about it. genre: holiday au. bffs to exes to lovers (what a doozy); angst, fluff, smut. pairing: lee chan x fem!reader word count: 40.4k (DON'T LOOK AT ME!) rating: 18+. minors do not interact. warnings: swearing, references to smoking weed, alcohol, food, use of sex as a general coping mechanism, jealousy. general exes who are still friends type of dynamics. mentions of misogynistic views, mentions of having kids, mentions of seasonal depression. chan is a bit of an asshole but redeems himself (and is overall just a good person but yk...) reader has a strained relationship with her mother. reader deflects a lot, chan cannot stop running his mouth. mingyu and sooyoung make several appearances. mutual pining. smut warnings: (let's take a deep breath for this one!) multiple scenes because they're fucking freaks (3 total!) alluded virginity loss (not depicted, backstory). teasing, frottage, heavy petting, bitiing, chan cums in his pants once. oral (m&f. rec.), face sitting, ab riding, subtle body worship (m&f. rec.), fingering (f.rec), pussy slapping (i know i know). nipple play (m&f. rec.), hair pulling, spitting, cumplay (just...okay?), switch!chan x switch!reader, chan likes it when she's mean, whiny!chan (can i get a hell yeah!?). slight strength kink, breeding kink, d*ddy kink (save me), love (?) kink (?). dirty talk (HELP. ME.), pet names (baby, princess, babe, etc.,) unprotected sex (don't do this), missionary (wouldn't be a haologram fic without missionary and body worship but i digress.) i think that's it! what to listen to: meddle about - chase atlantic ; habit - seventeen ; to die for - sam smith ; wait - dino ; heart - dawn ; scared to live - the weeknd ; fantasy - bazzi ; don't leave me - intro ; kiss it better - rihanna ; all mine - plaza ; the party and the after party - the weeknd ; always - daniel caesar ; fade into you - mazzy star. author's note: i fear i cannot shut the fuck up! yet another behemoth for caratblr, loverboy!chan save me please. special thanks to my dearest @diamonddaze01 for betaing this big ass fic an encouraging me to not give it up when i was truly losing my mind. thank you to @camandemstudios for allowing me to be in yet another collab of theirs. as always, dedicated to the most devoted dinonara i know, @bitchlessdino. snowflake dividers are by @/strangergraphics here on tumblr! enjoy the wild ride and happy holidays, everyone!

DECEMBER 22, 4:32PM.

Your car horn cannot take another beating, and you're not sure Chan's ears can take another annoyed, muttered string of expletives from your mouth – confirmed the moment he yells at you to pull over. You argue back that you're in the middle of the expressway and everyone around you is going over sixty miles an hour, but he doesn't care. You mumble profanities as you merge several lanes, pulling over only for him to tell you to stay inside and he'll get out.

"You've been driving me up the fucking wall since we left the apartment. What stick do you have up your ass that you're upset about everything!?" He practically slammed your car door as he got into the driver's seat, swatting your bare thigh as you climbed over the console to the passenger side. You scoff, batting his hand away from your legs as you plop into the seat.

"Nothing, Channie. I'm fine." You grit, yanking the seatbelt a little too hard for him to think you're fine. He sighs, resting his forehead against the steering wheel before he turns to look at you.

"Y/N, I've known you since we were in diapers. I know when something is bothering you, you're not weaseling your way out of this." What was wrong with you? You're sitting in your old beater car with your life-long best friend, wearing his old cheer shorts and his t-shirt and probably his socks as well. You're on your way home during an unusually warm winter, hence the shorts, and you're nursing a cup of his infamous hot cocoa. The one with actual mini marshmallows, none of that Swiss Miss bullshit.

You'd had a great cheer practice before the break ended, with your coach telling you and Chan to please rest during the holidays – it wasn't exactly either of your fortes. She knew the two of you went home for the break together, and you'd likely be practicing stunts in your parents' basement – but you knew exactly why you were upset and it had nothing to do with cheer and everything to do with the fact that your best friend has had the best years of his entire life while you're being a sulky baby.

You cross your arms, the drawstrings of your hoodie yanked by the seat belt as Chan turns in his seat. "Everyone has bad days, Y/N." "You don't." You mutter, crossing your legs at the knee before you feel Chan's fingers pinch your cheek. "Yes, I do. I don't know where you got this idea that I'm perfect. I'm flattered, but I'm just as human and clumsy as you are." "Yeah, well…shut up." You huff, feeling Chan press his lips to your temple. "Don't be so sour. We're on vacation, let's enjoy it. It's our last one before we graduate, isn't that exciting?" It's not. It makes existential dread weigh on your shoulders, and it's so stupid. It's stupid dread, rooted in misogyny and lies and comparison that is the thief of joy. It makes you hate him, knowing that Chan doesn't have to worry about any of this but you do simply because you have some stupid biological clock that works AGAINST you.

You know once university is over, your parents will start to ask about marriage and kids. You know that they'll bring up Chan, over and over until you tell them for the third year in a row that you and Chan tried it and it just didn't work.

Freshman year of college between you and Chan has to have been one of the strangest years yet. He had rushed a frat and you helped him move from his dorm into the house – and the brothers made eyes at you until Chan lied and said you were his girlfriend. None of them bought it, so much so that Chan had confessed about it and you were so wide eyed he was scared your eyes would fall out. Once the initial shock wore off, you shrugged and agreed you'd be his pretend girlfriend – that it would definitely get you out of some bullshit.

Simultaneously, it got you into some bullshit.

It was a few weeks before winter break, and you were both drunk at your first frat party. The two of you had been locked away in his room getting high earlier that day, and neither of you were in the condition to interact with anyone else or even go downstairs for more drinks – so you just laid in his bed and giggled about nonsense. He was propped up on his elbow, telling you about how the older brothers had made him pants the president of Alpha Phi and you were just staring off into space while you nodded along.

Until you looked at Chan a little too closely, your head on his pillow as he pushed your hair out of your eyes. He smiled down at you, his fingers tracing the shell of your ear as he continued talking when you sat up and anxiously pressed your fingers to your pulse point, having felt your heart rate spike at just the slope of his nose. Everything felt way too hot and intimate for two best friends.

He'd asked if you were okay, if you needed water – assuming you were too crossfaded to prevent the panic attack that seemed to creep on. You shook your head, screwing your eyes shut as you flopped back down and tucking yourself into his chest. He'd assumed you wanted to be held, so he threw your leg over his waist and ran his fingers through your hair, murmuring subtle praises as you tried to regulate your breathing – but the smell of the weed and your best friend's cologne was just too much and you wound up pushing him away.

"Channie, get away from me!" You'd whined, shoving him back and attempting to pull your sweater over your head. You failed, and he laughed, yanking it over your head the rest of the way. "Are you hot? Should I open the window?"

"You should kiss me, you fucking idiot. How can you tell your entire fraternity I'm your girlfriend and you won't even kiss me?" You'd poked your finger into his chest, your t-shirt rumpled from the sheer force of your sweater coming off. He blinked at you, lip jutted out in a pout. "Well, how am I supposed to know you want me to kiss you when you literally just told me to get away from you?"

"I'm your fake girlfriend! I'm getting zero play from anyone else because they think we're a thing!"

"Aren't you a virgin?" He asked, sitting up as you smoothed your shirt over your belly, lying back down on your side, propped up by your elbow. "Aren't you? You're my best friend, it's not like we'd hump and dump each other. If we're bad, we can just learn."

Chan had been truly appalled at your words. The two of you had never crossed into this territory, despite knowing everything about each other. You'd been each other's first kiss back in high school, but that was fully a dare from your other friends and neither of you spoke about it again. He dated around with other girls and you had one boyfriend that was shitty, but it was always just the two of you at the end of the day.

"You want me to…" "Only if you want to."

"Are you joking?"

You hadn't been, and you proved that by tugging Chan down by his collar and pressing your lips to his. He immediately reciprocated, pushing you onto your back and shoving your thighs apart to settle between them. He wasn't a bad kisser at all – a little too skilled for your shy touches, but you quickly caught on to his movements as you felt him grow hard.

"We don't have to do this at all. You know that, right?"

"Chan, I want you to."

He'd blushed slightly as you flipped the two of you over, letting him sit up with you in his lap and quickly pulled your top off. His hands were warm and nervous, but you kissed him again and it felt like everything fell into place.

The first round was slow and gentle – you were on top, and he kissed all over your chest and face as the two of you got into it. By the third time, you were covered in nips from his teeth and his saliva as he folded you in every position imaginable. He was a young guy with a Costco box of condoms and the girl of his dreams in his bed – he had to commit this to memory. The two of you went at it like starved, depraved lovers – it was nearing seven in the morning by the time he reached into his nightstand and the box of condoms was empty. You were both sober by then…and the reality of your decisions began to sink in as you let him sink into you, raw.

"Y/N…" He whimpered into your neck, entirely too sensitive for this to be happening but you only mewled in response. "Feels so good, Channie, please…"

You only spurred him on, clawing at his back and whining his name as your walls overstimulated him. Every single part of his body felt like it was on fire under your touch, and he relished in the way your teeth sunk into his shoulders and neck as he brought you over the edge repeatedly.

"Shit, b-baby…I'm gonna.."

You only wrapped your legs around him, pulling him into you deeper as you kissed the words off his tongue. He tried to kiss you back, he really did – but failed miserably as he came inside you, hips involuntarily working the two of you through your shared orgasm. You kissed him messily as he came down, feeling his hands on your cheeks as he slowed you down, before pulling away fully.

"We need to clean up." He muttered, resting his forehead against yours, your eyes closed as you nodded tiredly. "I don't think I can get up."

You hadn't been able to – Chan wound up carrying you into his bathroom and holding you between himself and the wall in order to help you shower. You were so tired your eyes remained closed for the majority of it all – something Chan was grateful for because he just couldn't stop roaming his eyes all over you.

Thankfully, it'd been a Saturday the day before – so there was no reason for you to leave his bedroom. He gave you the cheer shorts he usually wore, and tugged an old sweatshirt over your head while also stripping his bed of the sheets. He threw your clothes in with it in the wash – and returned to see you asleep. He had so many questions, just watching as you snuggled into his pillow as he sank onto his bed, reaching for his phone to order delivery – only for you to tug him back.

"We can eat later."

"When can we talk?"

You peeled your eyes open for that one, looking at him tiredly.

"You're my boyfriend, Chan. Couples have sex."

"But–"

"I love you. Now, hold me."

And he did. He laid down, and you draped yourself over his chest. His hand went under your sweatshirt, rubbing small circles into your back as the two of you fell asleep. But his mind never strayed from how confidently you said those three little words.

That was one of many nights between you and Chan. You were referring to each other as significant others, subconsciously going on dates, and fucking like there was no tomorrow. He'd get you flowers, tell you how pretty you looked. You'd fluster him with comments of how handsome he was, and you'd spend hours slow-dancing together in his bedroom if you weren't just basking in each other's presence.

Neither of you spoke about feelings, but rough whispers of I love you slipped out often during sex, softer ones when he dropped you off at your dorm (that you were hardly at because you spent all your time with him), teasing ones when he just felt like it. You found it harder to say after the first time – kissing him in response, feeling your cheeks grow hot as he looked at you with said love in his eyes. Sometimes you'd mumble it, only loud enough for him to hear.

You loved him too. You didn't know when it became romantic, you'd never been in love before. But, perhaps if you'd looked deeper – you would understand that feeling like you can hardly breathe from pure excitement when he's around is a tell-tale sign of being absolutely enamored.

Perhaps, you said I love you first – because you were scared that if you let it fester inside you, it'd become too overwhelming.

It did, anyway.

The two of you went home that holiday break and tried everything possible not to tell your parents anything. Chan's family owned the house next door and only used it when he was home – but you knew you wouldn't be able to sleep separately after weeks of constant skinship. You tried for the first three days – only for Chan to sneak into your bedroom and stuff your panties in your mouth to keep you quiet.

Everything had been going smoothly until your parents found out – spotting a hickey on your collarbone that hadn't been there when you arrived. Your mother was the first to question you – her interrogation light over dinner with Chan and his parents.

"So…find any cute boys?" She asked as she poured you a glass of water, one you immediately reached for as you choked on your bread. Chan's eyes widened as they fell on you, spotting the bruised mark on your skin under your t-shirt from across the table. "Mom, what gives? That's so embarrassing." "I sort of asked Chan the same question." Mrs. Lee shrugged, before her hand reached to tug on her son's sweater. "Then I saw this and got my answer."

Two hickies on his chest, and Chan's cheeks burned beet red as he wiggled away from his mother. "Can we not do this?" He asked through gritted teeth, and you only covered your face with your hands as your father snorted.

"We always figured the two of you would end up together. It's just the way it goes sometimes. Friends before lovers is a good way to start a beautiful relationship." He nods, patting your back gently to ease your discomfort. You gave Chan a glare through our fingers, only for him to gawk at you as if you were blaming him for the entire thing.

"We're glad it's you, Y/N, really. I was always worried my Chan would get his heart broken by someone ruthless." Mrs. Lee pinches her son's cheek, making him groan as he moves away. "This is so embarrassing, stop it!"

"We've only been together for a few weeks, so can we drop it?" You mumbled, stabbing your fork into a meatball as your mother glanced your way. "...Sure, honey."

Your parents didn't bring it up again for the rest of your vacation, but things felt a lot more breathable after. You and Chan went out on your own several times – dinner, stargazing, a few hikes. You kissed eagerly behind closed doors, but kept your touching to a minimum in front of siblings and parents. He held your hand as the New Year's ball dropped, and kissed you moments after when his parents looked away. You felt your stomach fill with butterflies at the tender touches, but started feeling antsy as days continued and you couldn't have sex.

He offered to take you on a drive after your parents went to bed, and you wound up fucking in the backseat of his car that night to the sound of Meddle About by Chase Atlantic. It was by far the most desperate you'd ever seen him, and the night you accidentally discovered a small kink of his – one the two of you swore not to speak of again after. Or rather, he asked you not to – but what kind of girlfriend and best friend are you if you don't tease him about his little ticks? You both returned to campus a few days later, and Chan managed to get you naked in his bed before you even unpacked your things. You'd decided to forego buying condoms on the way home to avoid the temptation, but just looking at you was enough to get Chan going and he had no idea how to make you understand that.

Until the spring semester started and the two of you got slammed with essay after essay, lab after lab, pop quiz after pop quiz. It was February by the time the two of you got to spend more than an hour alone – and you had nothing to talk about. You just kissed quietly, feeling each other up for hours until your underwear was soaked through with your arousal and Chan was painfully hard.

"We should break up." You murmured against his lips, and he nodded. "We should. After this, though." "After." You agreed, not knowing that Chan's chest had tightened at your words. Not knowing that he hoped just feeling you around him would mend that pain he felt, and not knowing he hoped he could get you to stay through the night – and break up in the morning. Not the night of his birthday, not the first night he gets to have you again after missing you for ages. Not the day that seems to have completely slipped your mind.

And, it worked. Yet another large box of assorted condoms and half a bottle of unnecessary lube later, you were tucked in his bed again. In his cheer shorts, in his shirt, and with dozens of love bites littered around your body. You kissed him as he slid into bed next to you, your arm draped over his chest as you began to talk.

"I'm sorry if it's sudden. You're my best friend and I don't want to lose you, but we just…don't have time." You had muttered, and Chan fought back tears as he nodded, pressing a kiss to the crown of your head. "I don't want to lose you, either. But if we break up…we have to stay friends, Y/N. We have to." He meant it. Even if it meant he had to break his own heart by spending time with you and not being able to kiss you, caress you, love you, he meant it. You were all he knew – his first kiss, his first crush, his first fake-girlfriend. His first real girlfriend, despite having dated around. His first time having sex, making love, and everything in between. The first woman he'd learned inside and out, and the only woman he wanted to know that way.

If time was the issue, he'd wait.

But you didn't know that.

Shortly after your relationship ended, Chan found himself restless. His hand wasn't enough anymore, but neither was anything else he tried. He lost interest in porn easily and even wound up sneaking peeks at your Instagram for some sort of relief. He resorted to asking one of his frat brothers what he should do – and Wonwoo calmly looked up at him and said, "You fuck someone else."

Chan hadn't been sure what to do with that information. He wound up going to cheer practice early that day, only to find you doing stunts with Minghao, a fellow spotter and one of his frat brothers – his hands tightly gripping your waist as he threw you up in the air. He catches you swiftly, and Chan only feels his cheeks heat in embarrassment as you eagerly compliment Minghao on his skills, your hands gingerly wrapped around his biceps – your nails still the soft pink he chose not even a month before.

It was too much touching for Chan's taste, and he wound up turning right back around and skipping practice, sneaking out of the gym before either of you could see him. When Minghao arrived at the frat after practice and saw Chan in the kitchen, he asked him where he'd been – that you'd asked for him and wanted him to help Minghao with your stunts. Chan simply clicked his tongue and shrugged, "Was busy. She can figure it out." Minghao had been a bit taken aback by his comment, but said nothing as Chan practically pushed past him. There was a party a few days after that, with both you and a bunch of random girls in attendance – mostly girls from the fraternity's sister sorority. Chan had one up in his bedroom within the hour, and another two hours later.

You went home after seeing him take the first one upstairs.

After that happened, and Minghao spoke to you about Chan's behavior about the entire stunt situation, you felt a shift in your friendship. Chan became a serial monogamist for a long time – none of his flings lasted longer than two weeks, and he kept them at arms' length. He never mixed business and pleasure – the cheer girls were strictly off limits, much to their dismay.

But you were the person he drunk texted. Saying he misses you and wants to hang out – and you'd hang out. You'd go pick him up and take him back to your dorm (later, your apartment) and watch movies, get drunk and fall asleep on your couch. He never made a move on you, and you never made a move on him because you were just friends.

So you shoved it all down. You watched him bag girl after girl, you watched him win trophy after trophy. You watched him make the Dean's list every semester, you watched him build unbreakable friendships, you watched everything he touched turn to gold and it made frustration fester inside you.

You struggled a lot after the breakup – from branching out and meeting new guys to your grades tanking just a bit – and it made you feel pathetic. You slept with one other guy, a guy from a different cheer team. You met him at a competition, and it was in the next city over, so you and your team had to get a hotel. You and Chan naturally roomed together…only for Chan to hit it off with a girl from another team, and it led to a heated argument between you and him to see who got the room for the night. He wound up storming out and staying with her, only to come back in the early morning to a locked door and the sound of you and the guy going at it.

Neither of you spoke about it. You didn't speak on the ride home, either – and you ignored him for a week until he texted you and asked if you wanted to get drinks. You agreed, and he apologized for his behavior. You only nursed your cosmopolitan, and accepted his apology with the condition that he buy you an appetizer.

An order of mozzarella sticks and a thing of marinara later, you forgave him. The two of you danced around conversations for a bit, before he offered you a lift home. You gracefully accepted, and he dropped you off at your apartment with a hug goodbye. A hug that lasted longer than any had since the breakup, and you felt…slightly put back together.

Things seemingly settled after that.

Fast forward to senior year – you and Chan are still inseparable. You're co-captains of your cheer team, he's the vice president of his fraternity and you find yourself there every weekend to help with events if the two of you aren't at a cheer competition. He holds your hair when you throw up and he helps you glue on your false lashes for competition nights. He drives you to places when you're too tired but still want to go out, he tutors you for Organic Chemistry and gives you gummy bears as rewards for getting questions right.

Chan is your best friend, and he makes sure everyone knows – including the girls he gets in his bed every few nights.

Your eyes still lingered on him at parties – the way he'd grind against girls, the way he'd never done with you because you weren't a stranger to him. He'd seduce them with his confidence and kiss them, but never in the way he kissed you. You could see it, how shallow it was to him, before he'd begin moving them towards his bedroom.

But, even now – you miss him. Lonely nights in your bedroom turned into lonely nights in your shared apartment with him, having been convinced to move into a two-bedroom with him as a reward for making it to senior year of university without any major fuck-ups. However, you felt like a major fuck-up – because now this meant he'd bring girls to the shared home.

He hasn't, yet. But, he will. You're sure of it.

It makes your stomach turn to think about it.

"See how much calmer things are when you're not the one driving?" Chan's voice breaks you out of your thoughts, and you scowl. "Shut up." He only rolls his eyes, but you feel your thighs clench at the way he looks when he drives. You'd gotten used to this sight in many lights – Chan driving you home from an arcade night, Chan driving you home from getting drinks. Chan driving you home from the movies, Chan driving you home from cheer practice.

Chan driving you home after that night he fucked you senseless three years ago in his backseat, whispering how good you felt around him and how he couldn't imagine a life without you in it.

You sigh inwardly at the thought of it, opting to recline your seat and cover your face with your arms. You cross your legs before feeling Chan's hand squeeze your knee, making you jolt as you swat at him. "Stop touching me, I'm sensitive!"

"Your knee is sensitive?" He teases, fingers pinching it again as you groan. "You're pissing me off, Chan."

He only snickers, his fingers brushing up your thigh before you shove it away. "Quit." "Alright, alright. At least put on some music, I need to hear something other than your whining." He holds up the aux cable, and you take it and plug it into your phone. You press shuffle on your Spotify, ignoring the way your cheeks heat the moment Meddle About by Chase Atlantic starts.

He only turns the volume up.

"You guys are home!" Mrs. Lee greets you by throwing her arms over you, and you nearly stiffen before Chan gives you a pointed look. You hug her back warmly, thanking her for being so excited to see the two of you. "How is school? Still doing well, I hope!" "Doing great, Mrs. Lee. Chan's helping me quite a bit these days." You nod in the direction of her son, who is unloading everything as you shove a stick of gum into your mouth. His arms look great in that long sleeve…he should wear it more often…

"...And your mom made that brown sugar ham you love! Isn't that exciting!?" Mrs. Lee's voice brings you back as you nod quickly, shoving your hands in your jacket pockets as the wind picks up a bit. "Yes! I'm starving, you have no idea. We survived on jerky." Your pout makes Mrs. Lee coo, her knuckles pinching your cheek as she beckons you to follow her into your house. Chan gives you a glare as he grabs your duffel, and you only blow a kiss at him as you follow his mother inside. "Y/N!" Your little sister can be heard screaming from the top of the stairs, and you smile as you turn – seeing her practically fly down them, her arm in a pink cast as she wraps it around you. "Hey, babycakes! What happened to your arm?" "Rosie took a tumble down the stairs last week, I keep telling her to slow down." Your mother appears out of the kitchen, wiping her hands on a kitchen towel as she presses a kiss to your cheek. "Welcome home, darling."

Your sister begins to ramble about everything going on at school with her friends – that Katie has a crush on Hyunjin but Hyunjin likes Minseo and Minseo thinks Katie is too mean to join their coloring circle. All too much for you to process in one go, and definitely too much for her to get out in one breath because she stops the moment you hear Chan grunt, kicking the door open slightly to make his way inside.

"Chan!" She abandons you, and Chan lights up as she runs into him, spinning her around. "Hey, Rosie! It's been so long, oh! What happened to your arm?"

He kneels down to her height, and it makes your heart warm. Your parents definitely did not plan to have another child so late in life, but Rosie was the easiest kid ever. You remember when they brought her home – you were a junior in high school and you were ecstatic. You'd been staying with the Lees, and they all came over to meet her.

Chan was the only one who pulled you aside and asked how you were doing. You admitted you were a bit overwhelmed, and he wound up offering to stay the night and just talk. His parents allowed it and the two of you ordered takeout and spent the entire night just talking.

Rosie kept your parents young and on their toes – enough that they made friends with other couples in their neighborhood. Rosie was popular, she had lots of friends at school and around the neighborhood – loads of people came to her birthday parties and your home was the designated playdate house.

You zone back in to see Rosie offering Chan a marker, and you gasp. "No way you're letting him sign before me! I'm your sister!" "But Channie's my best friend." She retorts as you walk over, squatting next to Chan, who sticks his tongue out at you. "That's what you get for not helping me unload the car." "Oh, but you're so big and strong! You're supposed to do it!" You argue back childishly, only for your little sister to stomp her foot. "Sign it! I have things to do!" Chan bites back his laughter as he signs it, before handing the marker over to you. "Do tell, Rosie. What things do you have to do?" "Well, I have a tea party in ten minutes and I do not like to be late. The tea will get cold." She sniffs, and Chan pats her shoulder. "Have fun, pipsqueak." She runs off, obviously over the excitement of her sister and her 'best friend's' arrival. Chan gives you a glance, "Feeling better after having to do nothing?" You shrug, smiling at him. "I appreciate you, you know that." "You have a funny way of showing it." He says pointedly, before tilting his head towards his duffel. "Mom said I have to stay with you this time, my cousins are in town for a few days and they're in my room. Is that cool?" "Promise you'll wear socks to bed?" You hold your pinky out and he sighs, shaking his head as he links your pinky with his. "Fine, but that means you have to wear pants." You smirk, winking at him. "It's my bed, Chan." You stand up straight, shaking your legs out before walking away from him. He shakes his head again, tonguing his cheek as he follows suit. You wander into the kitchen, and your mother greets Chan with a hug. They start catching up about little things as you open the fridge, grabbing a wine cooler for yourself and a beer for Chan, shoving it into his chest and leaving. You hear your mother jokingly ask if Chan wanted the air mattress, and he only laughs before denying it, saying he should help you unpack and get comfortable. She agrees.

"Need help?" He moves to leave the beer on the table, your wine cooler tucked under your arm as you hoist your duffel over your shoulder.

"Nope." You smile, making your way to your bedroom. Yours is the only one downstairs, and it's in the furthest corner in the house as well. You practically begged your parents for it, insisting it was the warmest room in the house when the winters came about – and once Rosie came along, they let you move downstairs, saying the baby needed to be near them. You'd eagerly agreed and moved out happily.

Chan followed behind you quietly, his own bag over his shoulder as he took a sip of the beer you gave him. He wouldn't finish it, and the two of you would likely swap drinks before either of you had too much of it. As he reached your room, he saw you backflip onto your bed, a groan from your lips as you sank into the memory foam mattress.

"Fuck, this is gonna do wonders for my back." You moaned, eyes closed as you kicked your shoes off. He snorted, putting his beer next to your wine cooler on your dresser before doing the same. "Jesus, when did they get this for you? Your mattress has always sucked." You know he's not referring to the time three years ago that he snuck in, but your cheeks heat anyway as you look at him. His eyes widen, and he clears his throat. "I didn't mean–" "They got it for me last summer." You interrupt, and he nods quickly. "Sorry." "For?" You try to act nonchalant, but you clear your throat one too many times for him to think it's fine. So…he makes it worse. "We never talk about those days, you know. It's not like…it's weird. Right?" Not weird at all. I don't miss the way you felt inside me, nope. Not at all.

"Do you…want to?" You don't mean to sound so bitter, but Chan clicks his tongue. "I mean…it wasn't the worst thing ever. I…liked you a lot." You grimace at the awkwardness, but try and shrug. "I mean…I hope so. We did say we loved each other. A lot, might I add." "I said it a lot, you deflected." He corrects you, and you turn your head to look at him. "Are you doubting that I loved you?" "You wanted to break up on my birthday, Y/N, not even a week before Valentine's Day. Forgive me for assuming." He rolls his eyes, and you sit up. "No, I didn't. Your birthday is on the 11th." "Yeah. You came over on the 11th after we didn't see each other for weeks. We were kissing and you said that we should break up." He props himself up on his elbow, and your brow furrows as you think.

The two of you managed to sneak a glance or two in during cheer practices, but the days before blurred together because you pulled several all-nighters studying for your anatomy midterm. You remember checking the time before you left your dorm to go spend the night with him, it'd been five-thirty.

On February 11th.

"Shit, I'm sorry." You breathe, and he shakes his head. "What good is it now?" He shrugs, picking at a loose thread in your comforter.

"Chan, I'm sorry." Your hand finds his shoulder, and he gives you a soft smile. "It's fine. You finished the day with me anyway, that was all I'd wanted that year."

I'm sorry for breaking up with you, I wish I hadn't done that.

"I did love you. I still do, you're literally my best friend." You say gently, and Chan's eyes meet yours. They hold something you can't quite grasp, "It's different. Of course I love you, you're my best friend." You feel like your stomach is about to fall out of your ass when Chan shrugs again, his shoulders constricted by the tightness of his top. Your eyes follow the curve of his waist, his sweatpants tied around his hips loosely. "It's just different between you and me now, you know? It's not the same friendship it was before." He rolls onto his back, arms behind his head as he keeps talking. "Sometimes, I think it shouldn't have happened at all. I mean, let's be honest. Between you and me…things have always just been simple. We overcomplicated it by doing whatever it is that we thought would enhance our relationship." You can feel your chest aching with every word, but you can't seem to stop listening. Your eyes burn with tears as you let him keep talking. We?

"I guess it was something of a dumpster fire. Everyone always assumed we'd be something, maybe it's good we got it out of our systems." He nods, before looking at you. His eyes widened, sitting up quickly as you covered your face with your hand. "Y/N–" "You can be really, really coarse sometimes." You mumble, sliding off your bed and grabbing your wine cooler off the dresser. "I'm going to go find my dad, make yourself at home." You tighten your sweater around yourself, flinging the door open and slipping into the bathroom. You refuse to let the tears fall, taking a deep breath before drinking half of your can. You press the cool metal to your cheeks before stepping out, walking out towards the garage to see your father tuning one of his many guitars.

"Oh, you're home! I've missed you!" He puts the bass guitar down, before he frowns. "What's wrong, honey? Are you okay?" "M'fine. Hey." You shake your head, giving him a one-armed hug. He's not convinced, holding you closely. "You can talk to me, you know that." "It's stupid. What are you doing here?" You set your drink down on his workbench, only to see your father's stern look staring down at you. You sigh, running your fingers over the strings of the guitar. "Chan and I broke up." Confusion crosses his features as you take a seat on one of his cushioned bar stools. "I thought you broke up ages ago, sweetie." "We did. That's the problem." You mumble, feeling a tear slip out of your eye and you brush it away quickly, but your father sighs carefully, wrapping an arm around your shoulder. You bury your face into his ribcage, feeling sobs rack your body as he hums quietly. Your father had always been the person you went to when it came to Chan, because your mom was convinced you'd be the brute of the relationship – and insisted you were too harsh with your words at times.

"What'd he say this time?" He asks softly, and you wipe at your nose with your sweater sleeve, trying to form it in a way that doesn't expose your entire relationship. "He just mentioned that he felt like our friendship was different now that we'd involved feelings in the past, and that he thinks it's better that we 'got it out of our systems.' He said that he wishes it'd never happened sometimes, who says that?" Your father nods, a frown on his lips as he sighs. "I'm sorry he said those things, honey. I assume he didn't know you still felt some type of way about him?" "I don't." You lie through gritted teeth, but your father knows you far better than that. He pats your shoulder, glancing down at you. "Now, you and I both know that's not true. You called me crying about him a few weeks ago, didn't you?"

You had. You don't exactly remember what you'd said, but you remember it being three in the morning and your mother taking the phone and telling you to get a grip. It only made you cry harder, enough that your father stayed up for the next two hours soothing you over the phone. Chan walked into your bedroom a few hours later and asked if you were okay. You kicked him out of your room out of embarrassment. "Why can't you be one of those dads that kicks the guy's ass for me?" You pout, swatting his arm as he lets out a full bellied laugh. "Because I have two wonderful daughters and a loving wife I need to provide for. If I beat up every guy that crosses you, I'd be sent away. I'd miss graduations, birthdays, anniversaries. Weddings, at some point. I'd hate to miss those beautiful moments." You roll your eyes, and your father smiles lightly. "I also happen to know how to distinguish when my daughter is doing these things to herself. Chan might be saying things you don't exactly want to hear, but that's exactly what you're not doing. You're not talking to him about anything. He can't know how you feel if you're not telling him." You huff, but you know he's right. "Well, it doesn't matter anyway. There's nothing to tell him, and if he wants to act like we're better off being as distant as we are then I'm no one to beg for his presence." "That pride of yours will get you in trouble. Knock it off." He says pointedly, before sitting on the stool next to you. "Now, listen to this. I think my tune is still off."

Dinner was always a nice, intimate affair between your family and Chan's. You gather around the large mahogany table your father made years ago, and talk about everything and anything under the Sun. They ask you and Chan about school, cheer, and dating. Rosie talks about her friends and her toys, your mother talks about her restaurant and your father about his music store. The Lees tell you about their dance company, and give you updates on Chan's younger brother, who would be spending the holidays stuck at work.

Dating spins the table once more, and your father gives you a look that says he'll change the topic if you say the word. Mrs. Lee starts by teasing her son, who flushes beet red and insists he's not looking for anything right now.

"I still never found out why you and Y/N broke up." Mr. Lee chimes in, and you feel your cheeks grow hot as you grip your fork. Rosie looks between the two of you, her nose crinkled. "Ew! You were boyfriend and girlfriend?!" "No." You answer quickly, and your voice is far too nonchalant for Chan's taste, it seems. He gives you a confused look, and you shrug. "We just didn't work out. It wasn't good for us." "Easy for you to say." He mutters, shoving a piece of bread into his mouth. You grimace, and Mr. Lee shifts uncomfortably before you feel the words tumble from your mouth. "Yeah, well when you tell your girlfriend she doesn't love you, it's kind of hard to want to be together." Mrs. Lee's eyes are wide, spluttering over her glass of water as Chan groans, pulling his cap over his eyes. "That's not what I said, Y/N, you're twisting my words." "Am I?" You scoff, letting your fork clatter on the table as you push your chair back. "I mean, seriously, who fucking cares anymore? It's been three years." "Language, Y/N." Your mother's voice is stern, gesturing to your little sister who looks increasingly bewildered. You sigh, closing your eyes as you scoot your chair back into the table. "We just broke up. It's fine. I'm sorry for swearing, Rosie. Bad girl Y/N." You apologize to your sister, who nods slowly.

Chan mumbles an apology to Rosie as well, and the tension is thick as Mr. Lee clears his throat. "I'm sorry for bringing it up."

"Not your fault, Mr. Lee. Sore subject." You shake your head, patting the left side of your chest, as if saying it pains you. He gives you a sorry smile, before Mrs. Lee speaks up. "Will you be fine to room together? I don't want you guys to fight this entire trip, we haven't seen you in so long." "It's fine." You and Chan say in unison, eyes meeting in a glare over the table. "I know how to keep my mouth shut, it's no problem." You add, and Chan scoffs, mumbling something like ridiculous under his breath.

"Alright, that's enough. We haven't seen you guys in four months. We're going to sit here and enjoy this dinner, damnit!" Your mother speaks loudly next to you, making you jolt. Chan apologizes as he sits up in his chair, your little sister wide eyed as your mother shoves a spoonful of mashed potatoes in her mouth. You elbow her lightly, and she coughs.

"Sorry, Rosie." Your father makes the rest of the dinner go smoothly. He mentions his store, and tells a story about a guy who came in wanting to learn a few songs for his wife who was in the hospital. Everyone listens intently, and dinner is wrapped up within the hour. You offer to pick up, your mother's tired eyes thankful as she carefully hauls your now sleeping sister up the stairs to bed.

You tongue your cheek as you bid goodnight to the Lees, offering to wrap the cake your mom made in case they want to have a sweet midnight treat. They accept it and you watch them as they make the walk down the lawn to their house. You shut and lock the door, seeing Chan lingering at the bottom of the stairs speaking to your father. They both look apologetic, but Chan's cheeks are tinged pink as he rubs his neck, a habit he developed when feeling sheepish or admitting something.

You frown to yourself, turning back to the table. You gather all the plates, stacking them as you walk around the table. You'd pack the leftovers first, but you had to move everything out of the way properly.

"I'll wash." You hear Chan say, before he takes the plates from your hold. You don't reply, simply moving to gather all the cups and silverware. You dump any remaining drinks down the sink, ignoring the way he scrapes the plates over the garbage can. You move around in silence, quickly wrapping leftovers and moving them into containers, before sliding everything into the fridge and standing next to him as he washes the cups, moving onto the silverware quickly.

"I didn't think it would bother you." He begins, and your hand tightens around the glass in your hand, before you wipe it down with the rag in your other hand. He scrubs the silverware harshly as you mutter, "You assumed." "Yeah, well, I thought we were best friends. I thought I could assume shit and be right." He huffs, and you carefully take the knives from him, swiping the rag over the blades with ease. "You are right." "What?" He looks up from the soup bowl in his hand, and you shrug. "You are right. I guess I just didn't want to admit it earlier, but things are different between us now. It's whatever." You're lying. You're absolutely lying and Chan's face tells you he knows.

"You've always been a bad liar, Y/N. Don't start trying now." He scoffs, and you don't say anything as you dry the forks and spoons, opening the drawer to put them away. He washes the rest of the bowls in silence, but sucks his teeth the moment he grabs a plate.

"Why?" He asks reluctantly, and you raise a brow at him. "Why, what?" "Why are things different?"

You hum in response, drying a bowl as you think.

"For one, you've been inside me." You start, making him cough. "Be serious." "I am serious! Did you not fuck me three ways to Sunday every time I slept over? Did I imagine that?" You snort, and you watch his cheeks flush as he tongues his left one. "Whatever. What else?" "You stopped hanging out with me as much. I would call or text and you'd leave me on delivered for hours, and then get back to me once I was already ready for bed. Or you'd drunk dial me and come over. You used to properly spend time with me, but after that whole dumpster fire, you kind of just hung out with me when you wanted to." You don't intend to sound so hurt as you say this, but Chan's hands slow under the running water. He nods, a soft look in his eyes as he glances at you. "I'm sorry." "What good is it now?" You repeat his words to him, and he looks up at you. "Don't be like that." "You also blatantly made moves on other girls in front of me. If the relationship meant nothing to you, you could've said that. It would've made moving on a lot easier." You say pointedly, before forcing out a humorless laugh. "God, your body count must be in the double digits now. Is it?" He doesn't reply, but you nudge him with your elbow. "Is it?" "Yes."

You shake your head, tonguing your cheek as you open the cabinet and slide the bowls in carefully.

"What's yours?" "Two." You respond shortly, his eyes wide as he looks up at you again. "Two?"

"Problem?" Your brow is quirked as you reach for the first plate, and he shakes his head. "No. I just…" "Assumed it would be higher? Yeah, you're doing a lot of that lately." You roll your eyes, and he scowls. "Can you stop? You had some fault there too, you have to admit that." "I don't see how I'm to blame at all for you just assuming I didn't love you. I spent every waking moment by your side if I wasn't studying or showering, and even then it was like we were glued at the hip. I hardly had my own space, you literally snuck into my room after three days because you couldn't sleep without sticking your dick in me." "Why do you keep talking like the sex was only good for me? Like you didn't enjoy yourself? Because I remember something very fucking different." He scrubs the plate in his hand with vigor, and you let out a soft, mocking laugh. "Maybe I don't remember it that way. Maybe it was only good because I loved you. The other guy was very different." Chan tenses at your words, his hands still under the running water. "Was he?" "Yeah." You nod, but the truth is, you didn't like it nearly as much. He made you cum, sure, but it was missing that…flair. That eagerness Chan always had, the passion he had, the stamina to keep up with you. It was missing the love you had for Chan, and you remember struggling not to ask this random hookup to hold your hand, or kiss you when you came, or to tell you he loved you.

All things Chan did without realizing.

"Mmh." He doesn't speak again, handing you the dishes almost angrily before muttering something about a shower and leaving the kitchen. You wipe down the counter silently, your eyes welling with tears when you hear Chan rustle about. You assume he's moving into the bathroom when you feel a hand on the back of your head, carefully tangling in your hair as you feel his lips brush the shell of your ear.

"You do a really good job of pissing me off, but I won't ever deny that you're the best I've ever fucking had. No one feels like you and no one has made me feel like you have. No one." He pushes you back lightly, storming back out of the kitchen with his shirt in his hand. You get a glimpse of his bare back, the muscles tense as he walks away. You feel your heart racing in your chest, your fingers coming to check your pulse as you take a deep breath.

Some vacation this is going to be.

DECEMBER 23, 7:22AM.

You thank God for the fact that everyone in your house is a deep sleeper, and can't hear how loud your heart is beating in your ears at this present moment.

Chan had taken the edge of the bed closest to the door, something he always did when the two of you shared a mattress. Or rather, the edge of the fucking mattress — he was practically hanging off. You curled into the corner closest to the wall, and stayed there the majority of the night. Chan left your TV on, knowing the white noise of whatever show he put on would lull you to sleep.

However, throughout the night, Chan migrated closer and closer to you – eventually opting to pull you into his chest. Your leg was draped over his hip and your face was nuzzled into his neck, breathing in his soft body wash and the baby powder deodorant he stole from you.

"Chan, get off me." You groaned, pushing the heel of your palm into his shoulder. He scrunched his nose, shoving your hand away before pulling you back in. "Just fucking hold me, will you?" He rested his chin on your head, arms wrapped around you like a boa constrictor attempting to asphyxiate its prey. "Chan, I can't breathe." You're muffled against his ample chest, and he only slightly loosens his arms. You wiggle about, attempting to get comfortable at the very least, when his hand moves to grip your hip.

"Stop." His voice is hoarse as he pushes your hips away from him, which ends with you on your back and his arm over your waist. You sigh, reaching for your phone to check the time.

Seven-thirty-four. Your mother is likely either about to get up or making breakfast right now.

"I'm gonna get up." You mumble, wiping at your eyes when Chan is muttering under his breath. You lean closer to hear him, but he stops. "Speak up, I can't hear what you're saying." "Nothing, go. Eat something." He turns his head away from you, buried into the pit of his arm and the pillow. You raise a brow, turning back on your side. "Why can't you just tell me? Have you always been this difficult?" "Y/N, I'm hard as a rock right now. You can get out or you can watch me take care of it, I frankly don't give a flying fuck." He spits, and you feel your cheeks heat as you clear your throat. You move his arm from your waist, carefully peeling the blanket back to climb off the bed. He lets you slide over him, before his hand shoots out to grab your wrist, yanking you back onto the mattress. You yelp, your back hitting the comforter as he quickly moves to hover over you, his lips crashing onto yours. Your hands fist his shirt, your eyes fluttering shut as he carefully licks into your mouth.

You let him cup your face gently, his thumb softly caressing your cheek in tandem with the movement of his lips. He pulls away, pressing a chaste kiss to your lips quickly before your eyes open and he's looking down at you intently.

Neither of you speak, but you both know what he wants. His eyes dart all over your face, and you feel your cheeks heat as your hand shakily moves to palm him through his sweats. His jaw clenches at the friction, his hips involuntarily rolling into your hand when he shudders.

"Only if you want to." He murmurs, and you nod slowly. "I want to. Take your pants off." He pushes off you, sitting on the edge of the bed and you take the opportunity to kneel on your rug. It's nicely padded, but he scoffs as he grabs one of the pillows and makes you move onto it. He undoes the drawstring, but your impatient hands move to his hips and you pull the sweatpants down to his knees carefully. He hisses at the feeling against his cock, but says nothing as your hand wraps around it.

Your heart is racing as you stroke him a few times, his lip tucked between his teeth as he tries not to buck into your hand. "Don't tease me, please." He breathes, and you feel your lips twitch as you lean forward, spitting on the leaking head and spreading it carefully. You lick a stripe up the underside, following the thick vein with the tip of your tongue, working your hand at the base.

He groans, leaning back on his hands as you flatten your tongue against the head. You swirl it slowly, remembering how much he liked it the few times he let you go down on him. Chan, ever the giver.

"Fuck, baby, please." His hand moves to your head, gathering your hair in a makeshift ponytail as you take him into your mouth carefully, hollowing your cheeks as you let his tip hit the back of your throat. He sighs as you start to bob your head up and down, your tongue never stopping its laving as your throat constricts around his tip slightly. You push yourself to take him deeper, your nose slightly brushing his pelvis as he lets out a guttural groan.

“Can you shut up? My parents will hear you.” You pull off entirely, a frown on your spit-slick lips as he nods quickly, mumbling a breathy sorry. He sucks in a sharp breath as you sink back down on him, his hips involuntarily jerking into your mouth, making you gag slightly. "Shit, sorry–" "Just keep doing that." Your voice is slightly raspy, his eyes wide as he swipes your hair away from your face. "A-Are you sure? I don't want to hurt you–" "Do you want to finish or not? I can get up right now." You roll your eyes as you adjust yourself on the pillow, his hand still in your hair as he stands, tonguing his cheek. "Open your mouth." You do as you're told, instinctively sticking your tongue out as he holds his shaft, a soft moan from his throat before he leans slightly. The hand in your hair moves to your jaw, before a wad of spit lands on your tongue. You feel your cheeks warm, eyes fluttering shut when you feel his tip drag across your bottom lip. His fingers gather your hair again, his voice gentle as it hits your ears. "Let me know if I'm too rough." That's all he says before you feel the weight of his cock on your tongue, hearing him let out a quiet hiss as his tip hits the back of your throat. He's slow with his movements, methodical thrusts into your mouth as your hands rest on his toned thighs, digging your nails into the sides. "Eyes open, baby. Wanna see you." His voice is hoarse as it hits your ears, your eyes slightly watery as you peer up at him through thick lashes. His lips are bitten raw as he looks into your eyes – it proves to be too much for him as you whimper around his cock in your throat. "Fuck, you look so pretty like this." You ignore the way your stomach flutters as he rolls his hips messily, thumb coming to wipe the corners of your mouth from the bubbles of spit. Your hands move up his thighs, shoving his shirt out of the way to watch the way his chiseled torso flexes as he fucks into your mouth. He whines at your touch, his grip on your hair tightening as you notice a faint tattoo on his hip. You file it to the back of your mind as you feel his cock twitch in your mouth, his release spilling onto your tongue with a whimper.

You move back slightly, his fingers carding through your hair as he softly massages your scalp. "You okay?" His breath hitches in his throat as he feels your tongue on his tip. He pushes you away slightly, before his hands wrap around your wrists, pulling you off your knees. "You're fucking insatiable, you know that?" You shrug, "If you say so." He stares into your eyes for a moment, his own glazed over with a mix of lust and something you can't decipher. He leans forward a bit, brushing his lips to yours. You let out a shaky breath as he nips at them, watching your lower lip bruise slightly. "Pretty. I've always loved your lips." You roll your eyes, going to move away when he presses his lips to yours chastely. Once, twice, three times before his lips travel to your cheeks. He peppers kisses all over your face, making your nose scrunch as he pecks the tip of it.

"I'm sorry about everything yesterday." He murmurs, his hands moving to hold your cheeks. Your hands rest on either side of his hips, and you sigh. "It's whatever. Pull your pants up, what if someone comes in here?" "It's not whatever, Y/N. I hurt your feelings, and it was shitty of me to say those things. Especially when I didn't mean any of it, I was just…" "Angry?" You suggest, and he sighs as he moves to tug his sweatpants over his thighs. He ties the drawstring as he sits back down, your knees now settled on the pillow beneath you once more. "I don't know if I was angry. It's stupid, really. I shouldn't have spoken about it that way, is all. And I'm sorry." "You made me feel like I was just the first notch on your bedpost. You could've told me that was all I was to you, but it wasn't necessary. Not with the way you just started sleeping with other girls so soon after our break-up." The words tumble out of your mouth before you can stop them, and he gapes at you as you shift uncomfortably, opting to stand up. You pick the pillow up, fluffing it before tossing it onto the bed and drifting to your mirror. Your lips were a swollen mess, and you wiped at them with your hand before hearing a soft knock at the door.

You glance at Chan, who has a stoic look on his face before he stands up and answers the door. It's Rosie.

"Hey, babycakes." You call over Chan's shoulder, and he moves to the side as she waves. "Mommy told me to tell you it's time for breakfast!" "We'll be right there, pipsqueak. Ten minutes, tops." Chan smiles, and she nods excitedly, before bolting back down the hallway, screaming your estimated time of arrival. You smile to yourself as you yank open your dresser drawer, fishing out a t-shirt.

Chan's hands are on your waist as you root around, and you peer over your shoulder to see a soft glaze of tears over his eyes. Your brows raise in concern, and you twist to face him, your hands cradling his cheeks. "What's wrong? Are you okay?" "Do you ever consider how you made me feel? Or how you make me feel when you say things like that?" His voice is thick, and you feel your eyes begin to sting as your lips part. You shake your head slowly, his arms wrapping around you tightly.

"Did you think about what I said last night?" He asks softly, and you avoid his eyes as you sigh, nodding your head. "You know that's not just about sex, right? That's about everything, ever. You're the only person who has ever made me feel that way." "What way? Like you need to fill a void? I get it, I'm shitty for breaking up with you on your birthday." You mutter, and he tilts your chin up to look at him. His eyes are still glossed over but hold a stern look.

"In a way that I feel like I can't fucking breathe without you. Nothing means anything to me since we broke up, but just a crumb of your attention makes me feel fucking insane. I don't think you understand how much you and your moods and the way you talk affects me. Everything about you drives me up the wall with want and need and I need you to understand that."

Your voice is lost on you, your throat constricting as he tucks your hair behind your ear, thumbing at the small hoops he's never seen you without. "I look for you in every girl I've been with since. Every single one, and none of them compare. None of them are as stubborn as you are, none of them give me shit when I do something stupid. If you want to talk about sex, fine. I've never finished, not once. None of them feel the way you do, none of them kiss the way you do. Not a single one of them can I close my eyes and have their body burned in my mind, not the way I have yours. Not a single one has filled the spot you left, and I'd rather die an honest death and tell you that no one ever will if it's not you." Your lip is quivering as you look away from him, and he rests his forehead on your shoulder as your arms drop to your sides. "Please, please tell me you feel the same." You can't. You want to, you feel the ache to fill his cup until it overflows deep, deep in your stomach. But you're scared this is just for the moment, the fact that the two of you are away from any available hook-ups within a ten-mile radius. You're afraid that this is something temporary, just like the first time – but this time, with the intent of ending.

You hadn't wanted to call it quits then. You hadn't but it was the right thing to do – no matter who chastises you for it. You'd known, in your heart, that Chan was the person you are destined to love forever – whether you knew it then, drunk and high that first night in his bedroom, or in the backseat of his car, or even that time under the bleachers at a national cheer competition…it doesn't matter. Whether you knew it'd be in this pathetic way, doesn't matter. You know now.

He's looking for a good time, you tell yourself. And you may be a good time, a great time, even – but you won't do that to yourself. "It took me two years to move on." You don't recognize your own voice, thick with tears and a bitter taste in your mouth. "Two years, and you fucked Chaeyoung in your bed because you saw Minghao and I doing stunts together and got jealous for no reason. You fucked Chaeyoung and Seonmi, within an hour of each other. You didn't even wait a month."

He doesn't speak, nodding his head in silence against your shoulder as he pulls you impossibly closer. His chest is flush to yours, and you can feel his tears soak into your collar.

"All because you didn't want your fraternity brothers to flirt with me. All of this, years of pining after you, yearning for your touch, missing you in my fucking bed, because you're a jealous asshole who can't stand the idea of not being the only guy in my life. All of this, Chan, because you wanted to say that I didn't love you when I don't think I've ever been able to think of a future with a man that isn't you."

His hands grip your sides tightly, your own pushing against his shoulders as you let a choked sob fall from your lips. His eyes are just as red as yours, his cheeks just as tear-stained as yours. Heart, just as broken and empty of you as yours is of him.

"It's not fair to me. Not when I'm still hurt, not when I can still taste you in the back of my throat. Not when you ignored me for girls and drinks, not when I called my dad in the middle of the night because you weren't home and I'm worried that you're not answering my calls. Not when my mom thinks I'm the brute here, when it's you." He nods, eyes closed as he squeezes you in his arms. He rests his forehead on yours, "They're waiting for us. Wash up quickly." Your stomach sinks, but you feel your heart pick up a bit as he places a soft kiss on the corner of your lips. "I love you." You don't say it back.

Breakfast had been awkward, to say the least. You went to the kitchen after an hour, the two of you lying through your teeth to your parents about your red-rimmed eyes. Your father gave you a hard look, and you were set to clean the table after breakfast when Mrs. Lee offered to take you Christmas shopping.

"We can make a day of it, I miss my girl." She smiled sadly, and you'd only felt your cheeks warm as Rosie insisted she come along. Mrs. Lee agreed, and even roped Chan into coming, as well – his hesitance making your eyes gloss over with unshed tears.

He'd sat on your bed as you got ready, watching you tug on a nice sweater and a form fitting pair of winter pants. It'd begun snowing lightly during breakfast, and your father had suggested you layer up – though he was sure the snow wouldn't stick. You and Chan hardly spoke as he watched you get dressed, his eyes trailing your naked body shamelessly. He helped you put on your winter coat, and carefully helped you put on your watch – a gift from his mother one year. He picked your rings, mumbling about which ones fit the aesthetic of your sweater the best. The casual intimacy of it all was eating away at you, only for Chan to run his hand through your hair and kiss your cheek.

A silent vow that he'd earn you back, you both understood.

Mrs. Lee was a chatterbox – she made Chan sit in the back with Rosie, playing with the Barbies she insisted on bringing as she updated you on everything going on at the dance company. You and Chan had been enrolled as kids, Chan becoming a far better dancer than you were – but the two of you excelled the same amount when it came to gymnastics. Chan begrudgingly abandoned dance to cheer with you in high school, but he quickly became enamored with the sport.

Rosie stomped her feet as you asked her to leave the Barbies in the car, only agreeing when Chan said it'd be a shame if she lost them. You rolled your eyes as she asked him to pick her up, but he did so anyway, her pink cast scratchy against his neck. "Rosie, you know Channie's my best friend, right?" You teased her, earning a huff from the pouty six-year-old. She stuck her tongue out at you, earning a surprised laugh from Chan as he saw her in the reflection of a car window. The wind was biting, and you found yourself hovering behind Chan. As the four of you entered the mall, Rosie asked to be put down – only for Mrs. Lee to pull her close, holding her small hand within her ringed fingers as they wandered into a toy store.

"Cold?" He asked, snaking his arm around your waist. You shrugged, but your teeth chattered as you tried to speak. The two of you laughed in unison, Chan carefully swiping your hair out of your eyes as the two of you walked forward. You try not to let your face react as he interlaces your fingers.

"Did you get your mom's gift yet? I know your dad's is in the car, and Rosie's are all in my duffel." "Shit, I knew I was forgetting one. I got your parents tickets to a cruise, I need to print those, too." You tap your temple, and Chan gasps. "I'm their son, you can't get them a better gift than me!" "What did you get them? A picture of you in a frame from the thrift like you did in grade nine?" You roll your eyes, and he huffs, squeezing your hand. "No, I got my mom a few pieces of jewelry and my dad just wants a lawnmower." He rolls his eyes, and you snicker. "What'd you get me?" "My presence is your present." "Pretty shitty present, Chan." "Hey!" The two of you continue to bicker as you make your way to a few different stores – you swipe your card far too many times for you to count. Chan carries all your bags as you skip ahead of him, holding a cup of hot chocolate for your little sister as you find Mrs. Lee filed away with her in the back of a jewelry store. "What've we got here?" You squat down to Rosie's level, and she pulls her short hair back to show you her ears. "Mrs. Lee got me earrings like yours!" A pair of thin gold hoops sit in your sister's ears, and you glance up at Mrs. Lee with a pout on your lips. "You didn't have to do that, Mrs. Lee. I would've bought them for her." "Nonsense, it's the holiday season. I have her studs in my purse, don't let me forget to give them to your mother when we get back." She gives you a stern look, before glancing behind you, a smile on her lips. "Y/N's got you busy, huh?" Chan feigns annoyance as he huffs, "You could say that. What's going on here?" You turn to tell him when you see Rosie peeking into one of the bags before you cover her eyes. "No peeking! You'll see it on Christmas, babycakes." "Just one! Please, please, please!" She holds your hand in her sticky one, likely from any snack Mrs. Lee would've bought her at one of the stands. You grimace, before sighing. "Okay, one. When we get home, okay?"

"But I'm sleepy." She pouts, and you ruffle her hair. "Then you take a little nap in the car. You can use my coat as a blanket, okay?"

The six-year-old reluctantly agrees, before reaching for the cup in your hand. Chan and Mrs. Lee prowl the store together, their eyes lingering amongst all the glittering jewelry and whispers between them as you get offered a chair by a saleswoman. You tug Rosie onto your lap and ask her about what she did – she sleepily tells you Mrs. Lee took her on the carousel ride at the children's court, then bought her a piece of honey cake at a pastry shop. She yawns as she talks about a few pairs of shoes Mrs. Lee bought her – high top Twinkle Toes and a pair of winter boots to wear as the weather changes. She doesn't manage to finish the hot chocolate as she rests her head on your shoulder, and you finish it off before managing to throw the cup into a trash bin a few feet away.

Chan and Mrs. Lee are speaking to a saleswoman at the register, her eyes a little too heart-shaped as Chan fends his mother off to swipe his card. You hold Rosie close, your eyes watching the exchange as Mrs. Lee huffs, a triumphant smile on Chan's lips as they approach you again.

"Any more places you wanna hit before we go? My fingers are about to fall off." He shows the lines from the bags across his fingers, and you shrug. "You offered, now deal with it." He scoffs, but doesn't get a chance to retort as Mrs. Lee interrupts him.

"We should get going, actually. They did say it was going to storm pretty bad tonight." Mrs. Lee winces as the saleswoman walks up to Chan with a receipt, your eyes narrowing as he quickly tucks it in his pocket. Mrs. Lee speaks up again, "Kind of an odd thing to say, though, because it's been unusually warm." "First snow always sneaks up on us on years like this." You sigh, shaking your head as the four of you walk out of the store. You pick Rosie up, holding her on your hip as Chan shifts all the bags to one hand to push your hair out of your eyes.

"You guys are so cute!" An older woman compliments you both, just as Mrs. Lee appears next to you, her eyes slightly wide as Chan tucks your hair behind your ear. His cheeks tinge pink as his mother gapes lightly, but she says nothing as you walk towards the exit. You pull Rosie's hood over her head as you reach the doors, and tug her scarf up to her eyes before bracing the cold air. "Fuck, it's cold." You hear Chan mutter as Mrs. Lee shudders, her gloved fingers fumbling with the key fob as the car comes into view. You shiver as she pops the trunk, watching Chan carefully put everything in it as Mrs. Lee slides into the driver's seat, turning the heat on blast as she turns the engine on. You carefully slide Rosie into her carseat, trying not to wake her as you click her seatbelt in place. You slide your coat off, shivering immediately in the biting wind as you cover her lap with it before shutting the door quickly.

Chan's eyes are wide as he sees you crossing your arms over your chest, your scarf the only layer protecting your neck as he nearly rips his coat off and wraps it around you. "Are you insane? Do you want to get sick?" He doesn't let you reply as he ushers you to the passenger side, nearly shoving you into the seat and all but slamming the door. He closes the trunk before getting into the backseat, his nose red from the cold. You glance at him through the rearview, watching him blow into his hands as he meets your eyes. He looks at you pointedly as Mrs. Lee pulls out of the parking spot.

You look away.

"So." Because your mother is at her restaurant editing the holiday menus and Chan has taken the rest of the day to spend time with his cousins, you've asked Mrs. Lee to help you pick out your Christmas Eve dinner dress. She is sitting at your desk as you model options for her, the current cranberry red dress a bit too short for her taste. You frown as you change in the closet, "So, what? What's up?" "When are you and Channie going to figure this out? I mean, it's been years." She sighs, and you hear her rustle through one of the shopping bags. You step out to see her holding the dress you bought for New Years' dinner, the black glitter mocking you as you sigh. "I don't know what you mean, Mrs. Lee." You smooth your hands over a forest green sweater dress with gold accents, before turning to her. "This one?" "You know what I mean, honey. There is still something between the two of you, don't think I didn't see the way he practically tore his coat off earlier." She shakes her head at you, and you scoff. "That doesn't mean anything, he's just a gentleman." "Yeah? Then what was last night's outburst about?"

You freeze, your hands fisting the dress as you go to pull it over your head. She peers at you through the full-body mirror, her eyes so reminiscent of Chan's. You purse your lips, looking away and at your socked feet as you slowly make your way over to her. You perch on the edge of your bed, "I don't want you to think less of me." Her hands hold your cheeks gently as you feel a tear roll down your face, her eyes wide and worried as she shakes her head. "Honey, I could never. You're such a smart and wonderful young woman, and you've always treated my Chan so well. You've been his biggest hypewoman, I could never think anything but the best of you." "I was the one who broke up with him, on his birthday." You say shakily, "I didn't remember it was his birthday, but that's on me. I just…I thought I was doing the right thing. I broke things off because I wanted us to focus on school. We were so busy after we went back from break that we didn't see each other unless we were at practice, and it was eating away at me." You wipe your eyes, Mrs. Lee's hands now folded in her lap as she listens. "No one can be upset with you for doing what you felt was best, honey." "Chan was." You scoff out a laugh, rolling your eyes as you sniffle. "He still is, I guess. We got home and we sat down in here for a bit, and we talked. He said that maybe it was better this way, that things had always been 'easy' between him and I, that involving feelings wasn't the best move. That our relationship was a dumpster fire, and that he's glad we got it out of our systems because he wishes it never happened sometimes. That he…felt like I didn't love him." You trail off, feeling a surge of tears roll down your face as you wipe at your nose with your sweater sleeve. You glance at her, her own eyes glistening with unshed tears as she tilts her head. "And he moved on. I didn't. So…I don't know if it's fixable. I'm sorry to disappoint you, if you thought Chan and I would be something of a forever as anything more than just friends." You give her a sad smile, and she quietly sighs.

"He called me a few days after his birthday that year, you know." She nods, looking at her nails before she flicks her hair out of her face. Your eyes widen as you sit up slightly, "He did?" "He was a mess." She laughed softly, running her hands down her jeans. "He cried and cried, I remember asking him if he wanted me to go up to the campus. I was so worried about him, until he told me that you two weren't seeing each other anymore. Just a boy needing his mother because the girl of his dreams broke his heart." Her voice is slightly teasing, but your heart sinks. "What?" "Oh yeah, honey. Channie's not very good at hiding his feelings, we knew he liked you since you were kids. We figured it would take him a bit to realize it, but once you two came home for the holidays that year, it was like he was a different person. He walked in with so much confidence, not that he needed anymore." She snorts, and you laugh softly. "He just seemed happier, a lot brighter. Like he does when he dances." You feel your chest ache as you look away, her hands finding yours. "I know that in there, somewhere…there is a love waiting to be let loose again. I know maybe then, it was the right thing to do. I know you wouldn't have done it if you didn't think you had to, I've known your heart since you were a little girl. I know it's kind and strong and you're a good person, Y/N. Don't think about it too much, I know you've both felt that pain but trust me when I say, there is no life without pain. All I can tell you is to live without regrets." She squeezes your hands, and you sigh shakily, your eyes still letting tears flow. "What if we break up again?" "Then you can always say you tried." She shrugs, "You're Y/N, he's Chan. If I know anything, it's that you're both hard headed and you never give up on anything. Why make your relationship the first thing?" She gives you a warm smile as you nod, and she glances at the sweater you have on. "Maybe not this one, either." She wrinkles her nose, and you scoff in mock offense. "I've tried everything on in my closet! Why don't you pick something for me, then?" She grins as she gets up, skipping to your closet and rustling about. You check your phone, seeing a few missed messages from Chan.

Msg From: Chan 💗 [5:33PM] dude these guys SUCK [5:34PM] come hang out with me :( [5:34PM] i'm sick of this shit, soonyoung keeps making spitballs?? are we fucking thirteen??

You snort, watching as Mrs. Lee drapes a few options over her arm. Msg To: Chan 💗 [5:55PM] can't, hanging out with ur mom [5:56PM] do you want to take a drive later? i think the temp went back up a bit and it's not as windy

Msg From: Chan 💗 [5:57PM] oh so you hate me??? you get her tickets to a cruise AND you're hanging out with her? do you just wanna paint me as a bad son??? [5:57PM] i'd say yes but i don't think i'll be back until right before dinner :( but tomorrow after dinner at your mom's restaurant? maybe we can catch a late movie or something.

You don't get a chance to reply as Mrs. Lee whispers a small aha! She rustles around a bit more before coming out with only one dress, one you hadn't worn since you bought it because you never had an occasion. It was a long, champagne colored dress with a sarong skirt and long sleeves. The skirt was carefully ruched at the hip, before flaring out in an open slit. It had a sweetheart neckline littered with rhinestones, and you winced as you ran your fingers down the fabric.

"It's not too showy for dinner? We're just going to the restaurant." You sigh, thumbing the stitching. Mrs. Lee scoffed, "Your mother has worn far more extravagant things than this, do you remember when she wore a ball gown to New Year's last year?" You snort, thinking back to the way you hide your face as you walked into the Lee home last year. Chan made a comment under his breath about how insane the baby blue dress was, but everyone was more or less a fan.

You also remember the way his hand slid a little too low on your back that year as rang in the new year with a hug.

Looking up at Mrs. Lee, she gives you a mischievous smile. "Go on, try it on! And we can do some hair and makeup stuff before we have to have dinner!"

Needless to say, your mother did a double take when she arrived home and saw that you were fully dolled up at the hands of Mrs. Lee. Her jaw dropped as she took in the wine red lipstick you stole from her bedroom and glittery eyeshadow, before a huge smile overtook her face and she rushed into your room to talk. It holed you away in the bedroom for another hour and a half before you graciously kicked both women out for just thirty minutes alone before dinner.

You stood in front of your vanity, dress hung back up your closet and a sigh filled the room as you reached for a makeup wipe. You peered at yourself, Mrs. Lee's words filled your mind as you ran your hands through your hair. Pursing your lips, you tie your hair back before hearing a knock at the door, and Chan opens it slightly.

"Hey. I'm home." He's not looking at you as he tugs his coat off, a sigh from his lips as you quirked an eyebrow at him. "You don't sound very happy." "I'm just tired, I don't remember what it was like to shoot the shit with those guys." He scoffs, throwing his jacket over the back of your desk chair before sitting in it. His eyes widen as he finally looks at you, "You look pretty." "Thanks. Mothers." You shrug, before reaching for the makeup wipe you abandoned in order to tie your hair back. "Wait, wait, let me see." He reaches for your hand, pulling you towards him. You roll your eyes as you sit on the edge of the bed, your other hand on your knee as he looks at your face.

"Why haven't you ever worn this lipstick before? It looks really nice." His thumb pulls at your lower lip, before you swat his hand away. "Stop that, someone could walk in." "Then lock the door? I'm just looking at you." He rolls his eyes as he stretches, "Did you figure out what you're wearing tomorrow?" "Barely. I'm still overthinking it, but the Moms said to go for it so…we're going for it." You shrug, and he raises a brow. "Do you want to show me? Maybe a third opinion could help settle it." "Nope." You grin, before standing up to move back in front of the vanity. His hold on your hand pulls you back, his other hand snaking around your waist as he pulls you into his lap. You huff as he kisses your shoulder, "Chan. Seriously."

"I missed you." He pouts, leaning his cheek on your shoulder as you roll your eyes. "Yeah, well…" You trail off, your cheeks heating as he smiles up at you. He's about to say something when you hear a knock at the door, making you jump in his hold. You rip yourself away from him, nearly stumbling as you rip the door open. It's Rosie.

"Ooh, you look pretty! Can I try?" She hops into your room, puckering her lips as she looks into your vanity. You snort, "Hello to you, too. Do you come with a message or just demands?" "Dinner in ten minutes. Can I try now?" She jumps in front of the mirror, and you roll your eyes as you motion for Chan to hand you your makeup bag off the edge of the desk. He does, and you root around in it for the lipstick, pulling out a lip brush as well. You squat in front of her, "This is Mom's lipstick, okay? We can only use a little bit." She nods, letting you carefully trace the brush around her lips. You turn her around in the mirror when you're done, lifting her up slightly. "You like?" "I like!" She smacks her lips loudly, and you smile inwardly as you set her down. "Can I wear this tomorrow, too?" "If you ask Mom and she says yes, we can talk about it." You shrug, and she nods quickly, before grinning at herself in the mirror one last time. "Okay, bye! Thank you!" "Bye, babycakes." You laugh, closing the door as she runs out. You give Chan a glance, rolling your eyes as you reach for the makeup wipe. "Gotta love that kid." "Don't take it off." He pouts, standing up to slide next to you in the mirror. You scoff, "Why? You're just gonna stare at me over dinner and everyone's gonna think something that isn't." He huffs, resting his chin on your shoulder as you carefully wipe at your eyes. You peel one open, seeing him pouting in the mirror. You struggle not to roll your eyes as you turn your face to look at him, planting a soft kiss on his cheek. "Stop pouting, it's not a good look on you." His eyes are wide as you continue to wipe the makeup off, his hand coming to ghost over your jaw as he makes you face him. "I missed you." He repeats, before nuzzling his nose against yours. Your breath hitches in your throat as his lips brush yours, before he whispers against them.

"I love you."

And just like this morning, you let him. You let him slot your lips together in a tentative kiss, your heart beating wildly in your chest as he turns you around, pressing your back into the vanity. His hands move to hold your hips gently, his fingertips barely breaching the hem of your shirt as he pulls away. He doesn't move back much, brushing his lips against yours as he squeezes his fingers against you softly.

"Will you at least let me try to win you back?" You feel your skin grow hot as you look away, and your heart flutters in your chest as he cradles your face softly in his warm hands. He presses a kiss to your forehead, "Please?" You want to tell him there is nothing to win back, you'd always be there. If time was the issue, you'd wait – no problem. But there is that part of you that's hurt that wants him to fight for you. The part of you that wants him to beg for you back, the part of you that wants him to hold you tight and cry with you about how stupid he's been when you've been equally as stupid. Maybe in a different way, but you're both idiots in your mind.

You look into his eyes through thick lashes, the heat of his gaze making you want to melt into the ground. Chan, despite the history between you two and his bad habits, had always been both the angel and the devil on your shoulders. He could lead you down any path and you'd blindly follow, but you knew you were the same for him. The truth of it all was that your trust in Chan has never wavered, even when the pain of his actions settled into your bones.

"Okay." "Promise?" His eyes are wide as he holds his pinky out, and you sigh, closing your eyes as you nod and link your fingers. "Promise." You both kiss your thumbs and touch them to each other, before you wipe the stamped lipstick off his cheek. "Don't tell your parents anything or I'll get Soonyoung and Mingyu to put snow down your pants tomorrow." He rolls his eyes, "You still haven't let me introduce you to them, so good luck. I wasn't going to tell them in the first place, anyway, because they'd make me go to my room after Dumb and Dumber go back into town tomorrow afternoon. I still can't believe they didn't ask for the holidays off."

You roll your eyes, moving the makeup wipe to your lips as he traces circles into the skin of your hip under your shirt. "Double pay, probably. My mom is shelling out double pay at the restaurant these next few weeks." He hums in response, "Did my mom say anything I should know about?" You snort, "Wouldn't you like to know." "I would, thank you. Tell me." "I have to wash my face, Chan." You give him a pointed look as you push past him, moving to your bathroom as he sighs, trailing after you. "Okay, you can wash your face and speak." "Chan, get out of my bathroom. They're probably waiting for you at the dinner table." "If they're waiting for me, they're waiting for you." He reminds you, leaning against the doorframe. You huff, reaching for your face wash as you turn the faucet on. "Go. I'll be out in a minute." He sighs, before pushing off the doorframe and leaving without a word. You feel your chest heavy with worry as you lather your face wash into your skin, but you force yourself to push all your rushing thoughts to the back of your mind. If Chan is making the moves to make things right, you have to at least give him his flowers for that. He wouldn't pull a fast one on you, he's not that kind of guy.

Right?

DECEMBER 24, 6:05AM.

Dinner between the two families had been rather entertaining. Your mother was enamored with the earrings Mrs. Lee got for Rosie, and the parents discussed carpooling groups for the Christmas Eve dinner at your mother's restaurant. You and Chan would be the only ones not lumped into your father's SUV, and you couldn't help the way you glanced at Chan with a wince. He had a slight grimace on his face as he agreed quietly, the two of you holding up the façade of your fight so as to not make anything obvious. He snuck a few kisses to your lips as the two of you did the dishes, before the two of you turned in for the night. You showered and brushed your teeth, only to have to wait for Chan because you kicked him out of the bathroom before he could offer to save water by showering together. He'd pouted, but it didn't matter. There was a line you couldn't cross…and that's it, right?

Either way – Chan had pulled your back into his chest at some point throughout the night, not that you were complaining. Yesterday morning's shenanigans seemed to have continued – but this time, his hand was up your shirt as he grinded himself against your clothed cunt, nipping his teeth against the skin of your neck. You were about to turn over to kiss him when you heard the heavy knock of your father's hand on the door. You nearly shoved Chan off the bed with how quickly you sat up and jumped over him, answering the door with a flushed look.

"Dad, don't do that! I nearly shit myself." You hold your hand to your chest, and your father holds out two cups of coffee. "You have a shower, you'd survive." "Don't be gross." You grimace, carefully taking the cups and setting them down on the dresser. Chan sits up, eyes squinted as he stretches his arms over his head. "Good morning, Chan." "Good morning, sir." He mumbles, before running his hands over his face. Your father gives you a quizzical glance, seeing your eyes a bit low as he snorts. "You guys might want to wake up, the snow outside is insane and Rosie will want you guys to help her build a snowman." "You can't help her? It's barely six." You rub at your eyes with the heels of your palms as your father smooths your hair down. "I'll give you an hour." "Two hours." Chan groans from the bed, flopping back down and tugging the duvet over his shoulder. You snort, taking a quick sip from the steaming white mug. You crinkle your nose at the bitter taste, only to hear your father laugh softly. "Hour and a half. Deal?" "Deal." You nod tiredly, and he nods as he moves to shut your door. "Set an alarm, or I'm coming in here with pots and pans."

You only nod again, holding the coffee cup to your lips as he shuts it tightly. Looking over your shoulder, you see Chan sitting up on his elbows, a scowl on his lips. "Seriously?" "It's the holiday season and they haven't seen us all year, it's only normal that they want to spend time with us." You roll your eyes as you set down your cup, sliding back under the covers as he grunts. "They can't wait until the sun comes up for that? I love our families, but I don't wanna be outside in subzero temps." "It's not even subzero, dumbass. It's like, seventeen degrees out." You rest your head on your pillow, looking up at him with tired eyes. "Subzero or seventeen, it's still the asscrack of dawn." "Never too early to have your hand up my shirt though, is it?" You say pointedly, and he scoffs as you shift uncomfortably in your sticky shorts. "So if I pull your shorts down, you won't be wet? You weren't complaining." "I never said that, but you're complaining about it being the asscrack of dawn yet you're feeling me up in your pretend sleep." You shake your finger in his face, making him sigh as he lays on his side. "Sometimes I just like touching you, okay? It doesn't always have to end in something, baby." "You mean you like riling me up so I'll be the one to pounce. You're not slick, I know your tricks." You drape his arm over your waist as you face away from him, feeling his lips brush the shell of your ear. "So should I continue or are you going to play hard to get?" "You know, you just reminded me to shove snow down your pants. Maybe then you'll calm down."

He scoffs, pressing a kiss just under your ear before pulling you closer to him. You nestle into his warmth, feeling his hand slip under your shirt. He doesn't move it, his thumb caressing just above your navel as his breathing slows. You close your eyes, but not feeling the thick veil of sleep creeping up on you. Huffing, you turn on your back, making Chan stir slightly but he says nothing. You stare at the ceiling, the early morning sun barely peeking in through your blinds.

"You're thinking too loud."

Looking at him from the corner of your eye, you snort. "Sorry, did my thinking disturb you?" "Go back to sleep, we're not going to get a chance to rest until after dinner." He sighs, before you roll onto your side to face him. "I can't."

He hums, opening his eyes with a sigh. "Better start trying, baby. It's been like twenty minutes since your dad left."

Rolling your eyes, you shift lower to press your face into his stomach. His hand cards through your hair gently, his fingertips grazing the skin of your neck as they dip below the collar of your shirt. "Comfortable?" "It's alright." You retort, making him laugh quietly. "Just alright?" "You don't need your head to grow any bigger, Lee." "Humor me, will you?"

"Never." You huff, fisting the material of his sweatshirt. His breathing slows once more, but yours still can't match his. Frustration festers in your stomach, and you find yourself tracing circles into his sweatshirt before pushing it up slightly, bunching it around his ribcage. Your fingers make contact with his warm skin, drawing shapes into it with your dull fingernails when you feel him softly tug at your hair.

"Don't start something you can't finish, baby."

You scoff, your breath warm against his skin. "Shut up." He only hums, your fingers continuing their tracing when you find yourself pressing your lips to his skin softly. Once, twice, three times as you move around his slim waist. He shifts slightly, a shaky sigh falling from his lips as you nip at the skin around his navel. Your palm pushes his hip down until he gets the hint, moving to lie on his back as you push his sweatshirt higher. Your thighs rest on his as you straddle him, and you feel the outline of his cock against the soaked fabric of your shorts.

You can feel his eyes on you as your tongue pokes out from between your lips, licking a stripe up his sternum before pressing a kiss between his pecs. You pepper kisses across his chest, feeling his breathing ragged beneath your wandering hands. Your thumb lightly ghosts over his right nipple, and you feel him jolt beneath you.

"Y/N, what are you doing?" He groans, making you smirk against his skin as you flick the tip of your tongue against his nipple, his hands flying to your hips to hold you steady. "Baby." "Stare at the ceiling or something, stop interrupting me." You shrug, before pulling his sweatshirt higher. "Take this off." He obliges, nearly ripping the piece of clothing over his head before sitting up slightly, grabbing the back of your neck and pulling you into a searing kiss. You let out a squeak of surprise, his tongue snaking into your mouth at the opportunity. Your hand snakes up his torso, your fingers pinching lightly at one of his nipples. His hips jerk roughly against you, a moan spilling into your mouth as you pull away quickly, clamping your hand over his lips with a scowl.

"Shut the fuck up! Do you want them to hear you?"

He licks your palm, making you grimace as you wipe it on his shoulder, his hand on your neck pulling you back down to his lips. "I don't give a fuck who hears me as long as you're the one making me sound like this."

"Yeah, well I have shame. Shut your mouth before I put something in it." You snip, but his other hand snaps the waistband of your shorts against your hip. "Yeah? You'll shut me up?" "You're a sick freak." You scoff, shoving yourself off him. "Go lock the door."

His eyes widened as you began to undo the drawstring of your shorts, your thumbs sliding under the waistband with a pointed look. "Hello? Lock the fucking door, Chan." He nearly falls off the bed getting out of the sheets, making you snicker to yourself as you shove your shorts down your legs. You ignore the few strings of arousal connecting you to the ruined cotton and the way the cool air of your bedroom makes you wince, reaching for your phone as Chan slides back into the bed.

7:15am.

"We only have fifteen minutes." You flick your shorts to the side as you move back over Chan, his eyes wide as he glances at them. "Baby." He breathes, holding them up by the waistband.

"Shut up, I'm ovulating or something." You roll your eyes as a blush coats your cheeks, making him snort. "Or something? Just admit you like it when I feel you up in my 'pretend' sleep." He makes air quotes with his fingers, making you scowl as you take the shorts from his hand.

"Open your mouth, since you can't stop running it." He sticks his tongue out at you, before happily opening his mouth. You stuff the crotch of the shorts into his mouth, ignoring the way his eyes flutter at the taste makes your core clench around nothing. You try not to look at him as you settle yourself onto his chiseled torso, the same faint tattoo mocking you as you try to figure it out. Biting your lip, you gently roll your hips against him, the feeling of the hard muscle against your clit enough to make your legs tremble slightly. He groans around the shorts, his hands moving up your thighs as you grind down against his stomach.

With every rut of your cunt against his lower stomach, you can feel his painfully hard cock poking the meat of your ass. You ignore the way he winces every time, moaning softly around the soaked shorts as his hands move higher on your thighs, his grip only making you whine. It's not long before his stomach is covered in your arousal, your whimpers filling his ears as he covers your mouth with his hand before taking the shorts out of his mouth.

"I can make you cum faster than this." He whines as your thumbs circle around his nipples, but you roll your eyes, "I like it this way." "I know b-baby, but I'm two seconds from blowing in my pants." He sighs shakily as you move his hand from your mouth, pinning it above his head. Your lips brush against his as you lean forward, looking into his glossy eyes. "I'm not fucking you, you have to earn that." "Sit on my face." He breathes against your lips, pressing a chaste kiss to the corner of them as you shake your head. "We won't have enough time–" "Two minutes, you know me." He begs, weaseling his arm out of your grip to push you up his torso as you huff. "Chan, it's risky–" "Everything about our entire relationship has been risky, why stop now?" He whispers, and you look at him to see a slightly dejected look in his eyes. He wants to please you, you know he does – and you want him to make it up to you. All those lonely nights missing his face between your thighs like a starved man, all the useless vibrators that got you nowhere near the orgasms he pulled out of you. "Make it fast." You mutter, moving to kneel over his face. He nods silently, his arms wrapping around your thighs as he pulls you down, his nose bumping your clit and making you jerk. "Chan!"

"Shh, baby." He murmurs, nosing at your pussy like a dog after a bone. "You smell so fucking good, missed this."

You squirm as he places a kiss on your clit, your fingers holding onto the metal headboard for stability as he flicks his tongue against it teasingly. He moans into your wet heat, his pouty lips wrapping around your sensitive bud as you force yourself to swallow your whines, rocking your hips against his face, feeling your end coming embarrassingly fast.

"Chan." You breathe out, reaching down to pull at his hair as he furrows his brows, his tongue messily collecting your arousal with soft grunts. "Mmh?" You don't say anything, hoping he just knows what you mean as you let a whine slip, your thighs tightening around his head. He forces them apart, using his strength to grind you against his tongue. You're a whimpering mess above him, your thighs trembling as you fall forward against the headboard. You're gripping the metal with your hands as you come undone with a whisper of his name, feeling your stomach cave in as he keeps licking at you.

A knock at the door makes him stop (and you jerk), his arms holding you firmly against him as he clears his throat. "Yes?" "Are you guys up? Why is this door locked?" It's your mother, and she jiggles the doorknob as Chan laughs, lying on the spot. "I'm sorry, I'm changing! Y/N is about to get in the shower, she'll be out in twenty minutes, I promise." "Tell Y/N to wear leggings under her pants, it's freezing out there." She's not suspicious, and Chan gives you a look of relief as he answers. "Will do! Thank you!" "You're welcome!" The two of you sit in silence as you wait a few moments, before you feel Chan's tongue snake through your folds. You try to push off his face, but your legs feel like jelly as he fucks the tip of his tongue into you. "S-Stop, we have to go." "I bought us twenty minutes, gorgeous. Let me do what I gotta do." He mutters, practically making out with your clit as you squirm away. "Chan, we have to get up." He sighs, his hands massaging your thighs. "Can never relax, hm?" "Be so fucking serious." You scoff, mustering all your energy to get off his face. He watches as you lay on your stomach with a groan, "I can't even get up. Fuck you, man." "Please do. I never want to cum in my pants again, this shit feels so gross." He grimaces, sitting up and running his hands over your thighs, digging his thumbs into the sore muscles. You peek at his pants, your fingers coming to lift the waistband when he swats your fingers.

"Come on, we have to shower or they won't buy it."

"Any time I've showered with you, you've tried to slide your dick between my asscheeks. I don't trust you." You snort, and he only lands a soft smack to your outer thigh. "It's a wonderful ass, can you blame me? But, for the sake of time and your so-called shame, I'll skip out on it." "Ugh, fine."

Chan stays true to his word, the ten-minute shower consisting of nothing but soft kissing under the showerhead and soapy hands sliding around naked bodies. Him finishing in his pants isn't a lie, either – and you apologize by letting him tongue at your nipples for two minutes. Every touch landing where it's not supposed to, pulling soft whines from each other as tongues slipped from mouths to collarbones before he reminded you that you couldn't mark each other above the neck if you wanted to remain undiscovered.

Chan toweled his hair dry and got changed quickly to appease your awaiting parents, but didn't leave the bathroom without a kiss…or three, to your lips. He lingered a bit as you dried your hair, a warm smile on his face as he watched your scrunched face in the mirror – when you caught his eye. "What?" "I love you."

He doesn't wait for you to respond, only tucking his coat under his arm as he exits your bedroom. You pretend it doesn't make your knees weak as you pull two pairs of leggings on, and your snow pants. You pretend it doesn't fill your stomach with butterflies as you tug on two pairs of socks and your heavy boots. You pretend it doesn't make your cheeks warm as you pull on one of his t-shirts under your sweater, and you pretend it doesn't make you tingle with excitement as you shove on your coat and tuck your scarf under your chin. You slip out of your bedroom with your lip balm in your hand, only to see Mrs. Lee and your mother scolding Chan as he sits in one of the dining room chairs, your mother's hair dryer blowing hot air in his face. He's wincing as they let him have it, a pout on his lips as he sees you. "Tell them you hogged the hairdryer!" He begs, making you smirk. "I'd be lying, wouldn't I?" You reach out to ruffle his hair, sticking your tongue out at him as you make your way to the kitchen. You see Rosie and your father holding hot packs to their faces, your little sister's nose red from the cold. "Have fun out there, babycakes?" You ask, leaning on the island with a smile as she nods quickly. "Mingyu and Soonyoung helped me make a snowman! You and Channie have to help me, too. It has to be bigger!" "You met Mingyu and Soonyoung already? I haven't even met them!" You feign offense as she nods, your father rolling his eyes. "If you had been up earlier, Chan could've given you a proper introduction." "I was not going to be up at six in the morning to make a snowman, I'm sorry." You shrug, before checking your watch. "It's only eight, how are you guys so chipper?" "We don't have to wash all the dishes after supper. So I guess you're off the hook for not being up earlier." Your mother snorts from the kitchen entrance, a red-cheeked Chan following behind her. He sticks his tongue out at you, making you snort. "Nice hair, man." "Shut up." He rolls his eyes, and your mother sighs as she slides two plates of breakfast food in front of you. "Eat up, we've got a busy morning." You and Chan glance at each other, knowing she means that the entire family has to work to tire Rosie out enough that she takes a nap sooner rather than later. If she goes down later, everyone will be late for Christmas Eve dinner.

Which will make your mother very upset, and God forbid you make your mother upset during the holiday season!

You and Chan practically scarf your breakfast down as Rosie excitedly recounts how Mingyu and Soonyoung kept fighting over what carrot would make the best nose for her snowman. She smiles cutely as she holds up a carrot your father was holding, "But I saved the best one for our snowman, guys!" Your heart melts as she says that, your lip jutting out in a pout as you shovel the last of your waffles into your mouth. You take your plate and Chan's to the sink as she continues speaking, careful not to get your sleeves wet as you wash them quickly. Chan dries them as she gets to the part where Mingyu spit a raisin at Soonyoung, making you choke on your water. Rosie stops mid-story, tugging your father out of the kitchen – insisting she was all warmed up and ready to go back outside. "Save me!" Your father mouths as he allows your little sister to drag him out, making you snicker to yourself. Chan slides the plate into the cupboard, running the rag around the sink basin as the kitchen grows quiet. You swallow the last of your water, only to feel Chan's fingers on your jaw.

"Just a quick one." He utters quietly, his eyes darting to the entryway as you roll your eyes, pecking a chaste kiss onto his lips. He can't help but hold you in place, kissing you again slowly when you hear the door open. You push him away, sliding your empty glass onto the island as Mr. Lee yells into the house. "Get out here!" You both nearly trip over each other trying to exit the kitchen, Mr. Lee shoving two pairs of gloves in your hands as he shoves the two of you out. Chan shivers next to you, looping his arm with yours as you carefully make your way off your porch. You tug the gloves on, giving him the other pair as you brave the winter air.

"It's colder than a witch's tits." You hear someone say, and your head whips around to see two guys sitting in two folding chairs next to an abomination of a snowman, holding cups of coffee between ungloved fingers. Chan rolls his eyes as he tugs you towards them, their eyes averting to you and the one with blond hair nearly spits his coffee out.

"Don't be fucking weird, okay?" Chan says, and the blond one scoffs. "You didn't say she was a fucking bombshell, Chan!" "Maybe because it's none of your business if she is or isn't! She'd never date you, anyway." Chan pulls you close suddenly, and you smile sheepishly at the two men.

"Hi, Y/N." The brunet smiles at you, his eyes trailing you a bit too long for Chan's liking. "Don't look at his teeth, that's how he gets you." Chan covers your eyes with his hand, making you scoff as you pull it down.

"Don't be a baby, Chan." You roll your eyes, before extending your gaze to the men. "It's nice to meet you guys. Who is who?" "Mingyu." The blond one points at the brunet, who points back at him. "Soonyoung, resident idiot.' "Hey!" Soonyoung shoves him, making Mingyu snort. "It's the truth, Rosie made him eat a disk of snow with raisins on it."

You laugh as Chan sulks, making you pinch his cheek and coo. "Don't be jealous, Channie. As long as neither of them is taller than you–" "Suddenly, I need to stretch." Soonyoung says with a grin, and Mingyu rolls his eyes as Soonyoung tugs him up. Soonyoung is only two inches taller, but you find yourself whistling lowly at Mingyu's height.

"You're huge, dude." You look up at him, earning a huff from Chan. Mingyu smiles around the rim of his cup, shrugging as he takes a sip. "You're not the first to say that, but I can fit you in my schedule if you'd like to see what else is big." "Dude, no fair. He doesn't wash his socks, you know." Soonyoung scowls, making you snort. "Yeah? What about you, Soonie?" "Enough! We're out here to build a snowman that's better than your absolute monstrosity, not for you two to hit on my best friend until I vomit!" Chan stomps his foot like a toddler, and you laugh, patting his chest. "Chan, buddy, reign it in! Go get Rosie." He looks hesitant as his cousins make eyes at you. There's a pout on his lips as you pinch his cheek again, whispering in his ear. "Be a good boy and fetch, yeah?"

He should be embarrassed at how quickly his cheeks tinge pink at your words, ignoring his cousins' teasing as he turns on his heel to find Rosie. He watches from his peripheral as they joke with you, how easily they make you laugh and how you fit right in with the duo. His heart warms a bit at the idea of his extended family liking you so quickly, but the idea quickly gets shoved aside as he remembers how flirtatious and greasy his cousins can be. The next two hours are spent with Mingyu and Soonyoung calling you pretty and cute to bother Chan, and you instigating the compliments to get under his skin. Rosie got tired halfway through building the snowman, and made you promise you wouldn't finish it without her. She gave you the carrot for safekeeping, making you tuck it into your jacket pocket as your father hauled her into the house. Your mother and Mrs. Lee made a quick trip down to the restaurant, and your father and Mr. Lee opted to salt the driveways and sidewalks for the dinner trip later that day.

Chan? He's tonguing his cheek as he packs snow in his hand, hearing Mingyu call you gorgeous as you take a sip from his cup of coffee. He chucks it in his direction, hitting Mingyu square in the shoulder. Mingyu stops talking as he feels the impact, his jaw dropping as he sees the snow sliding off the leather of his thick jacket. He wipes the snow off his jacket with a boyish grin, and your eyes widen as Soonyoung quickly throws a snowball at Chan – who dodges it and lands one of his own on Soonyoung's chest.

You snort to yourself as the trio begin to throw snowballs of various sizes between each other, opting to settle in Mingyu's folding chair with your legs crossed. You hold his cup of coffee, before calling out to the men. "Whoever wins gets to help me pin Chan down and shove snow down his pants!" Mingyu smirks, running his tongue over his teeth as he zeros in on Chan – who is gaping at you. "Oh, come on! That's not fucking fair!" "Good luck!" You hold up Mingyu's cup, tilting it towards them as the two men begin to chase after Chan, who has a hefty head start as he hides behind your father's SUV before hopping the fence to your backyard. Your dad snorts as he salts the sidewalk you're sitting on, "You're awful to that boy, you know." "A little snow down the pants never killed anyone." You retort, making him shake his head. "How're Mingyu and Soonyoung? Nice fellas, eh?" "If you count them flirting with me to piss Chan off nice, I'd say so." You grin, and he rolls his eyes. "You're something else, honey. Just talk to the kid." "I do talk to him, Dad. Trust me, I talk. He just doesn't listen." Rolling your eyes, you hear something reminiscent of a battle cry when you see Chan pelting Mingyu and Soonyoung with snowballs as he whizzes past you and your father, making you both double over in laughter as they round the corner into the next neighborhood. It fades to quiet for a moment, before you hear yet another shriek, followed by a fuck yeah!

You and your father look up to see Mingyu holding Chan over his shoulder, thrashing in order to free himself. Soonyoung throws his scarf around Mingyu's waist, effectively tying Chan's legs to the bigger man. Chan slumps against Mingyu, and you almost feel bad as your father shakes his head at you, "Not too much snow, Y/N. Be considerate." "You got it, boss!" You call after him as he shuffles into the house, and Mingyu grins as he presents Chan to you, turning around to show you the defeated pout on his face. "You hate me, Y/N. You hate me and you're going to freeze my dick off with a chunk of snow." "I could never hate you, Channie. But, I do want you to suffer just a bit." You smirk, and he sighs. "Put me down!" "Will you run?" You take a sip of the cup, and Chan's eyes flash with jealousy. "No. But you can't use more than a snowball's worth of snow. Promise me." He holds his pinky out, and you wait until Soonyoung turns around to grab his coffee to peck his cheek. He flushes, but you can just barely tell under his wind-bitten skin. "No promises, Channie." Mingyu manages to wrestle his arms behind his back, Soonyoung just teasing Chan as they all watch you gather snow in your gloved hands. Chan whines pitifully in Mingyu's hold as you approach with a decent amount of snow in your hands and an evil smile on your face.

"Y/N, please. I'll beg, I will! Don't do this–" Your best friend squirms in Mingyu's arms, and you make kissy faces at him as your hand pulls at his waistband. The flannel lining is stark red against the white snow, and Chan braces himself as you press a shameless kiss to his forehead.

"Y/N, don't! I'll buy your breakfast for a month! I won't ever drop you during practice again, baby please–fuck!" Chan thrashes against Mingyu as the snow slides down his legs, having foolishly only worn the snow pants over his boxers. "Oh you fucking hate me, oh my God! Let me go!" He frees himself from Mingyu, who can barely hold himself up from laughing as Chan shakes the snow out of his pants, jumping around like a frog to warm himself up. "Go get in the shower before you get frostbite on your balls!" Soonyoung calls after him as he races into your house, making you snort as you finish off the last of Mingyu's coffee.

"Love that guy, he's so easy to torture." You roll your eyes as you take Mingyu's chair once more, earning a warm look from Mingyu. "How long did you guys date back then? He only told us so much." You shrug, "Couple months. A really good two months, but…just the two."

You toy with the cup, before Soonyoung sighs. "He's a good kid. Please don't break his heart again, I don't think he can take it." He rubs his neck, and Mingyu nods, kicking snow off his boot. "It's funny that we've never met you until now, Chan has talked about you as long as he's been able to." The statement makes you snort. "Yeah, well. Chan's a jealous guy, that's how we even started dating in the first place. He didn't like that his frat brothers were making eyes at me when I helped him move in, but I guess he just never understood that…" You trail off, clearing your throat when Soonyoung finishes your sentence. "Understood that he's the only one for you?" He tries, and you sigh, nodding. "Yeah." "That's cute. Like, so cute. Adorable, even." Mingyu teases, and you lightly punch his shoulder. "Shut up." "I always thought Chan would end up with you. The amount of times we'd have to kick him off the Playstation because he'd talk about you instead of playing his turn was insane." Soonyoung scoffs, taking a sip from his cup. "I think I've heard your favorite color at least eighty times in my lifetime, tell me it's still green." "It is still green, ha." You smile shyly, and Mingyu lies down in the snow, staring at the sky. "Well, it's nice to know Chan has someone who clearly cares. I know you guys broke up because of school, right? Too busy and all that." "I felt so overwhelmed. We broke up and he made the fucking Dean's list, I was crushed when I didn't. Then again, Chan's always been better at masking how he feels when it comes to…things between us." Shrugging, you feel the heat of Soonyoung's gaze.

"Finding out about all those girls must've gotten to you, huh? He was an idiot, I told him he was when he talked to me about it. He cried, too. Dumbass." Soonyoung rolls his eyes, and your own widen. "He cried? Why?" "He told me two years ago, I think it was summer. I came up here, but you'd gone to a cheer camp for a few days and you came back the day that I left. We got drunk in the backyard and he cried his eyes out about you, and how none of the girls compared to you." He shrugs, and Mingyu pipes up.

"I was there, too. My best friend was apparently the one who told him to fuck other girls, I cannot tell you how big of a fight we got into when I confronted him about it. It was so ugly, and I was pissed for so long."

"Wonwoo is also one to fucking talk, he's been stuck on one of my friends for ages. Last time he visited, I swear he lost his mind seeing her in her bikini." Soonyoung scoffs, and you nod quietly, "Chan is a dumbass, you're right."

"How long did it take you to move on? Did you?" Mingyu asks, propping himself up on his elbows. You frown, shaking your head. "I slept with one other guy, a year ago. It was okay, but you know." "It wasn't Chan." Soonyoung says softly, and you only slump in your chair. "I felt so pathetic. I still do, sometimes. It's hard not to think about those other girls when he's constantly just…there. He's both the angel and devil on my shoulder, he's consistently encouraging me but then he comes home for the holidays with me and he hurts my feelings." Mingyu sits up fully, a furrow on his brow as he looks at you.

"What do you mean?" "Ugh, it doesn't matter. It was stupid, and he apologized but now…now he's acting like he's in love with me, still. And I…don't know how to take it, or if I should believe him." You murmur, covering your face with your hands as Soonyoung hums. "Well, what did he say to make you think he's still in love with you?" "He said it, verbatim. He says he loves me, he said he wanted to try to win me back. He said that nothing meant anything to him after we broke up, and that he's looked for me in every girl he's been with since." Your voice is slightly muffled by your gloves, and you miss the endeared glances Soonyoung and Mingyu share.

"Then there you have it, Y/N. Not much to question when he's so outright, is there?" Soonyoung speaks around his cup, and you sigh, pushing yourself off the chair. "I guess…I don't know. We're taking a drive after dinner tonight, we might talk then. When do you guys leave?" "In about two hours. But, give us your contact information, you're funny." Mingyu holds his phone out, and you roll your eyes but quickly type in your information. Soonyoung hands you his as well, and they both send you a text to confirm their numbers. You give them each a hug goodbye, with Mingyu pinching your cheek and telling you to just go with the flow. Soonyoung ruffles your hair and tells you that at the end of the day, Chan is just a man and no matter how much you love him, you've got to put yourself first.

And you agree.

You don't get a chance to check in with Chan after saying goodbye to his cousins, because your father ropes you into waking Rosie up and helping her get dressed for dinner. You're holed away in her room, carefully curling her hair when she asks you about Chan.

"Do you hold hands with him?" She asks you suddenly, and you look at her in the mirror, the bathroom light making her dress glitter brighter. Hers was a soft ivory color, likely one to match your mother's. Your father had told you he'd get a champagne tie and pocket square so you'd all look cohesive, and you'd agreed as he left you to babysit Rosie – only for your mother to bang around in the kitchen moments after he left.

"With who, babycakes?" "With Channie, Y/N!" She whines as you spray her hair, and you snort. "Sometimes. When we cross the street, or sometimes just because. He's my best friend, we can do stuff like that." "Have you ever had a crush on him, Y/N?" She wiggles her eyebrows in the mirror, and you laugh, pressing a kiss to her hairline. "Yeah, I have. You can have crushes on your friends, it's very common. It's not always the best idea, though. It can be really hurtful if they don't like you back." "So were you boyfriend and girlfriend or not? Because you say no but Mommy said yes." She got you, hook, line and sinker. You gape at her, and her eyes are pointed as you scoff. "Okay, fine. We were boyfriend and girlfriend for a little bit." "A little bit!? Why not forever? Ugh!" She gripes, and you can only hold back your shock as you smear a little bit of sunscreen on her face. "Well, sometimes things just don't work out, babycakes. Plus, Channie and I will always be best friends." "Daddy told me that he and Mommy were best friends and now they're married. Maybe you and Channie can get married, too!"

You feel your chest grow warm at the idea of marrying Chan, and the fact that Rosie liked him so much that she wanted that for you. You recall your father also telling you the story of how he and your mother met, and why he was so adamant that you and Chan would figure it out. He told you that story so many times over the years, you had it practically memorized.

"Maybe, Rosie." You grin, kissing her nose. "No promises." "It's okay, Channie promised me." She shrugs, climbing out of her chair as you freeze. "What? What'd you say?" "I said, Channie promised me. I asked him yesterday when we were playing Barbies in the car. But it's a secret, so don't tell him I told you." She says sternly, making you gape as she abandons you to find your mother downstairs. You take a deep breath, ignoring the way your stomach fills with fluttering as you make your way downstairs. You see Chan sitting at the dinner table, hair mussed from the wind outside as your mother serves him a cup of coffee. His eyes catch yours, and you quickly look away as you jump the rest of the stairs and dart into your bedroom.

You barely make it to your bedroom without the tears spilling down your face, and you lock the door behind you. You slide down the door, pulling your knees to your chest as you think back to all the moments between you and Chan. All the times he said he loved you, all the times he said he couldn't imagine a life without you.

The time in the backseat of his car, almost three years to the date – where he said both over and over again. Where he dragged his lips anywhere you'd let him, whispers of how perfect you were for him and how insane you made him feel. Where he made you cry as he touched you just right, biting at your shoulders and digging his dull nails into your hips.

Where he told you that you'd tattooed your name across his heart and it was yours forever.

Your body shook with ragged sobs, and you forced yourself to get up off the floor as regret only sank further in. You broke up with him. It was the right thing to do, for the sake of your friendship and the idea of any future together. It was the right thing to do.

"Fuck." You hold yourself over the sink of your bathroom, splashing cold water on your face and letting it drip into the basin. Your tears mixed with the water, and you hear a soft knock at your bedroom door, before the doorknob wiggles. "Y/N? Are you alright in there?" It's your father. You quickly dry your face with a towel, tossing it into the sink before ripping the door open. "Hey, Dad. D'ya get your stuff?" "Honey, are you alright?" His face is worried as his hand comes up to your cheek, and you quickly nod. "I'm good, I promise. I just had one of those moments, you know. Seasonal depresh and what not." He quirks a brow at you, "Seasonal depresh?"

"Dad!" You whine, and he shrugs. "Yes, I got my pocket square. Can you check if it matches your dress? Oh, tell me you're gonna go for curls this year, because your mom is and she's mad that Rosie's are 'too tight.'" He rolls his eyes at the same time you do, making you snort. "Yeah, I'll check. I'm gonna start getting ready now, can you let Chan know so he doesn't come barging in here?" "He's at his house, he just left. He'll be driving you both, though, so you can be comfortable in your shoes." He nods, and you take the pocket square. "I'll get this to you when I'm done, okay?" "For sure, honey. I'll be back later, don't rush." He nods, closing the door as he leaves. You toss the pocket square onto the vanity, before looking into it with a slightly defeated look. You grimace, before grabbing a towel out of one of your drawers.

It didn't take you too long to get ready – you got in and out of the shower, and did your hair within two hours. Your makeup was done an hour later, with Rosie barging into your room and demanding you put lipstick on her, too. You rolled your eyes at her, telling her to say please, telling her to say thank you – both of which she did after you swiped the wine red on her lips. She scampered out of your room as you slipped into your closet, your mother appearing in your doorway to offer her help with zipping you up.

"You look just like me sometimes." She murmurs as she zips the dress, her fingers nimbly hooking the clasp at the top. She runs her fingers through the large curls you'd given yourself, smiling at you in the mirror. You give her a weak one in return, when she sighs, her hands on your shoulders.

"I wanted to apologize, baby." Her eyes are worried as you glance at them through the mirror, your fingers fumbling with the jewelry box in front of you. "Apologize? For what?" "A few years ago, I told you that I thought you were a little too harsh with your words around Chan. I think I went as far as calling you the brute of the relationship, didn't I?" She asks softly, and you look away as you tongue at your lower lip. "Yeah." "I'm sorry. I spoke to Chan earlier after his cousins left, he came in for a cup of coffee before he went to go get ready for dinner. I asked him a few questions about you, and he told me what he said to you a few days ago." She tucks a stray curl behind your ear, thumbing at the hoops she'd given you so many years ago. "It was really shitty of him to speak to you that way, and I told him so. I also told him that if he thinks he has even a remote chance of fixing things with you, that he better get on it soon. You're too kind for your own good sometimes, darling." "You think so?" You mumble, your eyes falling on a necklace Chan gave you for your birthday the year Rosie was born. You hadn't had a party that year, insisting Rosie was more important than anything else. He'd given it to you anyway, on the bus the morning of your birthday. You cried like a baby into his shoulder.

"I know so, honey. I know that somewhere in that heart of yours, you're waiting for him to make things right. Sometimes, I don't agree with it, but I also know you. I know you don't give anyone who doesn't deserve a second chance even a moment to speak to you. You're strong like that, just like your father."

You smile inwardly, her fingers lightly pinching your cheek. "I know you're good at taking care of yourself, but I also know Chan can take good care of you, too. I want you to be happy, and I know Chan makes you happier. You should've seen how you came into the house that year you were dating. You were smiling from ear to ear, like the Cheshire cat." She leaves with a kiss to your cheek, careful not to smudge her own lipstick onto it. She closes the door quietly, but not before you hear the Lees greet your father warmly as they filed into your home. You thumb at the necklace, the simple heart-shaped locket opening to a picture of you and Chan as teenagers. You often wore it open, liking when people asked you questions about the picture. No bigger than a coin, the gold locket has always been something you carried with you even if you didn't wear it.

"Y/N, I'm here for my pocket square!" Your father knocks on the door, and you open the door, holding it out. "Here you go." "Oh, honey! You look so pretty!" Your father covers his face as you spin, before he takes his pocket square. "Wow, you look so much like your mother sometimes." "Funny, she said the same thing." You snort, and he uses the vanity in your bedroom to fix his pocket square carefully. "We discussed seating charts, you're sitting between Chan and Rosie. Is that okay, or should I switch one of them out?" "That's fine. Can you actually send Chan in here? I need to talk to him." You nod, and your father glances at you in the mirror. "Are you sure?" "Positive. Won't take long."

Your father leaves with a kiss to your hairline, and you fumble with the necklace until you hear footsteps outside your door. You lean carefully, hearing a deep breath before a knock. "Come in." Chan slides through the door with closed eyes, almost like he's bracing himself for something. You snort, "What the hell is wrong with you? Open your eyes." "Your dad said you need to talk to me, and if you're going to dump me again, I don't need you to look beautiful doing it." He rushes out, making you gape. "Chan." "I'm serious. I haven't seen you yet but I know you look great. I mean, you always look amazing but I don't think I can handle you dumping me on Christmas Eve when you're in one of those pretty dresses you always wear." He can hardly breathe, and you can't help but laugh. "Nobody's getting dumped, please relax. I just need your help putting my necklace on." "I don't believe you, you could've asked your dad." He shakes his head, eyes screwed shut so tightly you're worried they might never open again. You walk over to him, running your fingers through his hair carefully, before thumbing at the small silver hoop in his ear. "You know we're not exactly together, right?" "In my mind, we've been married since we were in second grade and Hyewon officiated it." He scoffs, and you quirk an eyebrow. "Is that why you promised my sister we'd get married?" His eyes open wide, his lips parting slightly. "She told you?" "Oh good, your eyes are open. Help me put this on." You turn around, grabbing the necklace off your vanity. You pinch the chain carefully, holding it out to him when you look up to see his hand covering his mouth. His eyes rake over you slowly, and you feel your cheeks grow hot as he walks around you. You shift uneasily as he makes it back in front of you, "Do I look okay?" "Okay?" He whispers, making you look in the mirror. You run your hands down the bodice of the dress, "Is it too much?" "Too much?" He's still whispering, his eyes still running up and down your frame as you grow nervous. "Chan! You're freaking me out!" "Oh, baby." He murmurs, taking a few steps closer to you, taking your hand gently and making you spin for him. You feel nerves settle in your stomach, when he finally speaks. "You look so beautiful. I truly don't think words can express how absolutely angelic you look, are you real? Please tell me you're real, this would be a cruel dream." His eyes are wide and slightly glossy as he turns around, and you hear a soft sniffle. You watch his hands move around his face from behind him, your eyes growing wide as he turns back around, teary-eyed as he presses a kiss to your forehead. "No, it's not too much. You're never too much. You look great. Are you ready?" You gawk at him, "Chan, why are you crying?" "Nevermind that." He shakes his head, tucking a stray curl behind your ear. Your brows are furrowed, and you hold out the necklace. "Help me put this on." He glances at the necklace, his cheeks and ears burning a soft pink hue as you spin around, moving your hair to the front. He sighs shakily, carefully looping the locket around your neck and clipping it. You adjust the locket, your lips pursed as you open it. "Wear it like that." He speaks behind you, his hand appearing on your hip in the reflection. You raise a brow, closing the locket only to hear a whine as he rests his chin on your shoulder. Rolling your eyes, you open it, adjusting it to show the small photo of the two of you. "How was saying goodbye to your cousins? They had a lot to say about you." "It was fine. We sent them off with your mom's leftover cake, and Soonyoung finished it in the car before they even drove off. Mingyu was pissed." He snorts, and you hum quietly, reaching for the jewelry box once more. You sifted through your rings, Chan pressing a soft kiss to your jaw.

"I missed you." He pouts, and you give him a half-smirk as you peer down at him. "Did you, now?" "Stop talking to me like that, I'll get hard. You did it earlier too, but I was ashamed then, there were people around." He buries his face into your neck, and you snort out a laugh. "What are you talking about? I'm not talking to you in any sort of way." "Oh, so telling me to fetch like a dog isn't talking down to me?" He scoffs, cheeks aflame as he meets your eyes in the mirror. You suck your teeth, sliding on one of your rings with a shake of your head. "You liked that? You're something else, Chan." "I've literally always been like this, you just didn't notice before." Rolling his eyes, he wraps his arms around your waist. This is when you notice his suit jacket cuffed with silver cufflinks, a gift from your father years ago for graduation. You twist slightly, the top two buttons of his black shirt undone to show off a few layered chains. Some were gifts from you.

Your hand pushes him back slightly, his eyes never leaving your face as he lets you run yours all over him. Your fingers tug at his belt buckle, "You look really nice." "You can do better than that." He chides, and you swallow a scoff but roll your eyes as you pull him to you by his belt loop. You press your lips to his lightly, "You take what you're given, or nothing at all." He breathes out heavily against your lips, and you move your hand to rest on his stomach. "Are you ready? They're going to want to take pictures before we leave."

He can't reply, the two of you springing apart when you hear a knock at the door. You cough as Chan blinks, before opening it to reveal Rosie. "Hi, pipsqueak." "Mommy said that if you're not in the living room, she's going to leave you both here." She relays with a roll of her eyes, and you hold back a snort. "Can't have that, can we?" Rosie asks Chan to pick her up as you slide on one last ring, your fingers fumbling with the lights. Rosie's pink cast is around Chan's neck as he holds her on his hip, and you instinctively slot your fingers with his before remembering your parents will see you. He squeezes your fingers lightly, a sheepish smile on his lips as you let go.

"Wow!" Mrs. Lee is the first person you hear as you step into the living room, your cheeks burning as she clambers over. "Look at you, honey! Oh, you're so grown up." Her hands are tucking your hair behind your ears, the both of you missing the way Chan's eyes fill with adoration as he delivers Rosie to your father. He clears his throat inwardly, watching the way your parents move in front of your fireplace for photos. He can't keep his eyes off you the entire time, even as his parents shove the two of you together for a photo.

"Chan, don't act like you did on prom night. Act like you wanna be here." Your mother scolds him playfully, and you feel your heart flutter as you tug his arm around your waist. His fingers easily settle low on your hip, your own finding his shoulder and you rest your cheek on top. "Smile!" Chan's fingers squeeze your hip as everyone turns away, sneakily pressing his lips to your temple as you begin to move away. Your eyes are wide as he walks away, grabbing your coat off your father's hands and helping you slide it on from behind. Everyone is trying to help Rosie, and he takes the opportunity to whisper in your ear.

"I'm so in love with you. I wish things were different right now." He sighs, carefully tucking your hair into the hood of your coat. You feel your cheeks heat as you turn so he can zip it up, wrapping your scarf loosely around your neck as he connects the zipper at the bottom.

"I know. Eventually, okay? Just give me some time." You mumble back, tucking the end of your scarf into the coat as he nods defeatedly. You resist the urge to caress his cheek, run your fingers through his hair, kiss him. A weak smile is all you can muster as he straightens fully, adjusting your scarf so the zipper won't snag.

Your parents are looking your way, your mother watching the way Chan carefully zips your coat up. Your father smiles as he makes your mother turn away, "Your keys are in Chan's coat. Lock the door, come on." The two of you scramble behind your parents, Chan hastily shoving his coat on as you wrap his scarf around him as he walks forward. You tuck it into the coat as he zips himself up, his hand holding you steady in your heels as you step onto the porch. He locks the door quickly, trying the doorknob twice as your father helps your mother down the steps, and he offers his hand when he looks at your feet. "Y/N, why are your shoes open-toed? Are you out of your mind?" "I didn't have any heels that matched! It'll be fine!" You huff, and he gestures at the snowy pathway leading to your car. "Your toes are going to freeze and then you're going to get sick and die. Do you want to get sick and die, Y/N?" He scoffs, and you feel your scream caught in your throat as he picks you up princess-style. "Chan! Put me down!" He ignores you as he steps off the porch, carefully maneuvering his way to your car as you huff. Your lip is jutted out in a pout as he unlocks your car, bending at the knee to open your door and carefully set you down on the seat. He buckles your seatbelt in for you as your father pulls out of the driveway, giving you a honk as he turns out of your neighborhood. Chan shuts your door, rounding the front of the car to the driver's side. "You didn't have to do that." You mutter as he slides in, sticking the keys into the ignition as he shivers. "Yes, I did. Don't be brat, just let me take care of you." You don't reply, picking at your nails as he plugs his phone into the aux, handing it to you. Shuffling one of his playlists, the two of you freeze as you hear the opening notes of Meddle About by Chase Atlantic flow through the speakers. Chan purses his lips, single handedly unplugging his phone and tossing it into the backseat. "Nope. No music tonight, it seems."

"I thought you liked that song." You reach for his phone, grabbing it off the edge of the backseat and sliding it into the cupholder as he pulls out of the neighborhood. He has a tick in his jaw as he flicks on the turn signal, "I like it when we're in the backseat and you're on top of me, not when I'm driving you to dinner and not when you're in my clothes on the drive to your house." Your jaw could very well be on the floor the way you're gaping at him, his fingers reaching over to close your mouth. "Chan." "What? I think about that night all the time." He scoffs, turning onto the main street that makes the drive to your mother's restaurant five minutes longer. His hand floats down to your thigh, settling high on it through the slit of your dress. Tonguing your cheek, you stare out the window as your hand settles atop his. "You mean the night that–" "Shut up." You snicker to yourself, sliding your fingers between his. "You know it's not the worst thing in the world, right? Tons of people have breeding kinks." He winces as you say it, making a strangled noise of discomfort from his seat before glancing at you. "Y/N, I want you to take a really good look at me right now and tell me that it wasn't weird." He scoffs, and you shrug, facing him.

"It wasn't weird. I liked it." You admit, "I think the slightly weirder part was calling you daddy, but some things you do out of…you know." You trail off, feeling your cheeks hot as you look out the window. Chan makes a noise of approval, his hand flipping beneath yours to interlace your fingers. He brings your knuckles to his lips, a chaste kiss pressed on top of your rings. "I know, babe." The rest of the ride is silent, some shy glances shared before you pull into the parking lot where your father is waiting with Rosie. You smile, squeezing his hand in the shadow of the center console before letting go. Chan pulls around the building, looking for a parking spot. "We're still taking that drive later, right?" "If you're not too tired, or drunk." He snorts, and you gasp, landing a soft smack to his arm. "I got drunk one time!" "You called me daddy one time, I think that goes to show that you're game for anything at least once." He teases, and you sigh inwardly. "I guess that's true." "I know it is, I know you like the back of my hand. I love you." He says, mostly to himself as he pulls into a spot just a few feet from the door. Killing the engine, he looks over the steering wheel at your father. "Can your dad see us from here?" "I don't think so, he's entertaining Rosie. Why?" You unbuckle your seatbelt as he gets out, and you feel the door close as he rounds the car to open your door. You wait, before feeling the cold gust of winter air rush into the car. You shiver, grabbing Chan's phone out of the cupholder and taking his hand to step out. He pulls you close, tucking a few strands of hair behind your ears as you look into his eyes. "Something wrong?" "No." He shakes his head, a soft smile on his lips as he thumbs at your earlobes. You tilt your head at him, eyes narrowed. "Are you sure?" "Don't drink tonight." He presses a kiss to your forehead, and you nod slowly. "Any special reason?"

He shrugs, before looping his arm with yours and pulling you towards the front of the restaurant. You can't help but look up at him with a shy smile as he guides you around piles of snow, before seeing the flash of a camera. You blink rapidly, before looking up to see your father holding Rosie on his hip, her hands holding a camera. Chan greets your father warmly, and Rosie shows him the photo. "Can I see, too?" You ask, peering over Chan's shoulder when Rosie tilts it away. "No." Your pout does nothing to sway your baby sister, making Chan snicker at you. The four of you walk into the restaurant, the warm air of the establishment like a blanket fresh out of the dryer. "I still can't believe your parents named both their businesses after you." Chan murmurs as you walk to the reserved room your mother arranges every year, and you snort.

"What can I say, they love me." You shrug, resting your head on his shoulder. Rosie looks over your father's shoulder, a crinkle in her nose as she sees the closeness between the two of you. "Are you sure you're not boyfriend and girlfriend?" "We're sure, babycakes." You laugh softly, moving to pull yourself away from Chan but feeling his fingers interlace with yours before you can. You glance at him, only to see him sticking his tongue out at Rosie, who blows a raspberry at him. A pit of anxiety opens in your stomach as your father opens the door for you both, letting you slip by when you feel Chan's fingers let go of yours, and a murmur of Can I talk to you, sir?

Rosie enters with you, Chan and your father lingering at the door before they take a turn back outside. Your eyes widen as Rosie leads you to the table, your mother sharing the same quizzical look. "Y/N, where's Chan? Did you guys fight?" "No, no. He's…he's with Dad." You reply absently, pulling your coat off as your mother helps Rosie out of hers. The table is set and covered entirely with food, the roast pig being the main attraction in the center of the table. You find your seat, pulling Rosie closer to you to fill the strange pit you feel. Chan and your father don't appear for another ten minutes, but they're both rather stoic as they enter – but you see a soft smile on his face as Chan takes his seat opposite your father.

"Everything okay?" Mrs. Lee asks gently, and Chan nods. "Don't worry, all good." If anyone notices how quiet you are during dinner, they don't say anything. You feel the heat of Chan's gaze more than once, but everyone is too wrapped up in the food and the conversation – to even notice the fact that Rosie fell asleep into her mashed potatoes. You're the one who realizes she's fallen asleep, cooing as you carefully wipe her face and wrap her coat around her as her head lolls onto your arm. You scoot closer, lifting her onto your lap and resting her head on your chest.

"Did she fall asleep?" Your mother asks incredulously, making you snort. "Right into her mashed potatoes. Don't worry, I got it." You wrap your arms around her, leaning back in your chair. "Your dinner, though?" Your mother points at your picked plate, and you shrug. "I'll take it home. No big deal, I'm not exactly hungry. I could fall asleep right now, too." You shake your head, running your fingers through your sister's hair. Your mother nods, beckoning one of her waitstaff to wrap the plate up for you. His name is Hansol, and he carefully takes your plate and disappears with it.

Dinner continues for a few more hours, and you reach over to Chan and tug on his sleeve. He gives you a glance, concern in his eyes before you tap your wrist. He checks his watch, flashing it to you. Midnight. You wince, looking over to your father to see him glancing at his own watch. "Oh, man. It's really late, we should get going." He hisses, and your mother's eyes widen as she sees the time. "Shit, I told them we'd be out by eleven. Alright, up. Let's get going." Your father takes Rosie from your lap, and your mother carefully pulls her coat over the pink cast. You watch tentatively, ready to step in at any moment when you feel Chan's hand on your shoulder. Jumping slightly, you feel the soft fabric of your coat. "Sorry, didn't mean to startle you. Arms, please." You don't look at him as he works around you, until Rosie is on your father's hip and Chan is wrapping your scarf around you. "You're distracted tonight. Everything okay?" Chan's voice is soft as he zips your coat up, his own already settled on his frame. "What did you and my dad talk about?" You blurt, and he raises a brow as he follows the four parents out of the room, who are still chattering about everything and anything. He scans your face, concern weighing heavy on his brows before he smiles. "I didn't ask him to marry you, if that's what you're worried about. That's further down the line." Seeing the way your shoulders settle, Chan loops his arm with yours. "Did you want me to ask him?" You don't respond, letting him lead you out of the restaurant. Your parents are all still talking as your father buckles Rosie into her carseat, her eyes opening slightly as you pass by. You wave at her, only for her eyes to close again. Smiling to yourself, you wait for your parents to acknowledge you and Chan waiting by the front of your father's SUV.

"Going for a drive?" Your mother asks gently, and you nod. "Home soon, don't worry." You hold your pinky out, only for your father to clasp it with his own. "Take your time. Drive safe."

Your eyes search your father for answers, and he only smiles. "See you at home, honey."

Nodding slowly, you and Chan bid your parents goodnight, your mother's eyes lingering as Chan walks you back to the car. You can feel your chest a bit tight as he opens your door, but give him a strained smile as he gets into the driver's seat.

"Alright, what's eating you? Besides me." He jokes lightly, pulling out of the parking lot. You see your parents' car already at the stoplight in the street, the light turning green just as Chan pulls into the street. "Nothing." "You're lying." He plugs his phone into the aux as the light turns red, a click of his tongue as he presses shuffle on yet another random playlist. The soft melody of Scared To Live by The Weekend pours out of your speakers as he takes the oh-so-familiar turn down the same road you've taken this drive on every year. It's scenic, it's always decked with Christmas lights and it leads you right to a random cliff that overlooks the entire city. You sigh as he holds his hand out for yours, interlacing your fingers and leaning back on the headrest. You recline your seat a bit, crossing your legs at the knee. He lets go of your hand and you cover your face with your arms, his fingers sliding up and down your exposed thigh.

"You can always talk to me, you know." He murmurs over the music, this time it's Fantasy by Bazzi. You nod silently, hearing a hum from him as he traces circles into your skin with his thumb. The drive is silent aside from the music, Chan's comfort seeping into your body via his hand and your shoulders losing their tension as he pulls into the deserted cliff. You'd found it years before you went to college, and enjoyed retreating there to get high together behind your parents' backs. You also exchanged one Christmas gift here every year, basking in the privacy and security of each other's warmth on the hood of whoever's car you took that time.

"So? What's going on?" He parks the car, lowering the music as he turns to look at you. You peek at him from beneath your arms, a pout on your lips. "Nothing, really. I'm good."

Chan moves your arms from your face, his fingers coming to poke at your cheeks with every word. 'You are such a bad liar, baby."

You groan, "It's stupid. It's so stupid because you're probably not going to have to deal with until you're in your fucking thirties but I've been dealing with it since I was in high school." Your pout makes Chan thumb at your lip, an understanding look in his eyes. "You mean that same conversation your parents keep having with you about having kids and getting married?" "Yes! Ugh, that's why I was so quiet at dinner. And why I was so pissy on the way here from campus. I do not want to have this fucking conversation again this year, especially when I don't even know what's going to happen when we leave." You fall back into your seat, feeling Chan's hand cup your knee. "I'm so sick of being asked the same shit, I'll get married when I get married and I'll have kids when I have kids. What about my career? No one but you and my dad ask about what I want to do after college. What if I want a master's degree? What if I want a doctorate?" Chan listens intently, his eyes flowing between worried and understanding. "Well, what if? Do you want to do that? What do you want to do after we graduate? Do you want to move back here, do you want to move somewhere else, do you want to pursue something more? Do you want to work full-time?" "What does it matter what I want? You want to get married, Chan." You sigh, and he shakes his head. "It matters because you're your own person, not an extension of me. I don't want to get married if you don't want to, and definitely not if we're not well established. Stable present makes for a stable future, and I want things to be just as easy as they always have been between you and me. You call my name, I come. If time is the issue, I'll wait. I waited my entire life before freshman year, and I've waited three years since then."

You peer up at him, "So you're serious about marrying me? You weren't kidding?" "Respectfully, I don't think you've ever sounded more insane than you do right now." He scoffs, sitting up and pulling you with him. Your lip is jutted out in a slight pout as you thumb the seam of your dress, Chan's fingers grazing your jaw as he makes you look at him.

"I love you, Y/N. I'd wait an eternity for you, as long as you're happy. I want you to feel fulfilled, and I know that you're not going to if I try to tie you down with bullshit. Yes, I want to get married. Yes, I want to marry you. You've seen me through every stage of my life and as painful as it may have been for you because I've been an absolute douche, you stuck by me. I don't know how else to make you understand that you're important to me, and that includes embracing who you are as an individual. Even if you say no to anything I offer, the house, the ring, the kids, the fucking pursuit of happiness by my side…none of it matters as long as I know that you're happy with yourself." You don't realize you're crying until his thumbs wipe at your cheeks, his fingers tucking your hair behind your ears. "I love you, endlessly. I'll always be here, and I know maybe that's not what you need to hear to be comforted but I need you to know that." You sniffle slightly, "What if my mother pressures me enough that I make a rash decision? What if she manages to get to me just like she always has?" "She won't. Even if she did, I know you in ways she doesn't. I know every side of your heart, I know how kind and forgiving it can be and I know how cold and cruel it can be. I know you're strong and independent and you don't need me to ever speak up on your behalf, but if ever your voice is lost on you, I can. I have, and I will continue to do so. Your honor is mine, even if mine isn't yours."

You rest your forehead on his shoulder, wanting the conversation to end. "I forgot your gift at the house. I'm sorry."

"That's alright. I still have yours, if you want to go sit while I get the blanket." He presses a kiss to the shell of your ear, allowing you to change the subject. "I feel bad, though." "Go sit for me." He nips at your ear, making you jolt as you shove him. He smirks as you scoff, wiping at your face carefully as you open the door and step out. You shudder as the cold hits your feet, but you hoist yourself onto the hood of your car as Chan pulls the thick blanket you brought from your apartment out of your trunk. The metal is still warm before you feel him kill the engine, the motor dying under you as he shuts the door, shoving your keys into his pocket. He drapes the blanket over your face as you feel him grab your ankle. Jolting, you push the blanket off, seeing a pair of socks clenched between his teeth as he undoes the strap of your shoe.

"Where the fuck did you find those?" You let him slide the black sock over your foot, and he shrugs. "Your cheer bag is still in the trunk. I know these are new, though, because I put them in there before we left for practice last week." He shrugs, slipping off the other shoe and putting the sock on, covering you with the blanket once more as he rounds the car to throw the shoes into the backseat. You stare at the clear sky as he slides onto the hood next to you, a soft sigh from his lips as you drape the blanket over his leg.

"I didn't ask your dad to marry you, I promise. I just talked to him about how I felt and what he thinks I should do." You hear him say softly, and you turn to see him looking at you already. Your brow raises, and he holds up a white box. It's from the jewelry store you found Rosie and Mrs. Lee in when you went to the mall, the silver logo stamped on the top. "He said I should be honest and tell you what I want, and listen to what you have to say. So, uhm…this is more for you and I than anyone else, but I…I understand if you don't want it." He pops it open, a slim gold band slotted into the cushion with a thicker one, presumably for him. The rings are studded with stones, emeralds and sapphires with smaller white diamonds scattered about. You look at him, a certain softness to your gaze that has only ever been present for him.

"A promise ring?" He shifts under your gaze, cheeks tinging pink as he sits up, sliding off the hood of the car. He paces slightly, "I know it's so…ugh, it's so high school. And we're not even together, and I'm willing to wait–" "I'm not." You interrupt, "I'm tired of waiting, Chan."

His eyes are wide as you shrug, holding your hand out for the box. "Can I see?" He hands it to you, your fingers pinching the delicate band and holding it up to your eyes. "Is this what you bought when you were fighting your mom at the register?" "It's also why your class ring went missing last month, but that's neither here nor there." He admits sheepishly, making you gape. "You took it! You little rat, I knew you had something to do with it."

"I needed it for the sizing! And I got it back! Do you…do you like it?" He asks shyly, resting his hands on either side of your legs as he leans closer to you. You nod, "I love it, it's beautiful. Good eye, I guess." "Can't you just give me a compliment without making it sound so forced?" He rolls his eyes as you replace the ring, holding the box in your hand. You shake your head, "I'll have a lifetime to do that. Do I get to put yours on for you?" "You're taking it? You're saying yes, I mean?" His eyes are wide as he scans your face, and you scoff. "Obviously? We still have a lot of growing to do, but I don't take the steps to make a decision unless I know it's the right thing to do. You know that." "Including breaking up with me on my birthday?" "Including saying yes when you ask me to be your girlfriend in about two minutes. I should make you wait, but I'm impatient." He rolls his eyes, leaning slightly closer. You smile as you nuzzle your nose against his, feeling your cheeks heat as he brushes his lips to yours. "I love you." "You're right, I do deflect a lot." He laughs, peppering kisses around your face as you scrunch your nose. "Be my girlfriend, please. I'd be nothing of a man without you." "I mean, I guess if you want me that bad–" "Respond properly or I'm taking your socks off." "Yes, I'll be your girlfriend." You roll your eyes, pressing a kiss to his lips. He kisses you back softly, his hands moving to hold your face carefully. "You know the ring means you'll also say yes to being my fiancée and then my wife, right?" He speaks against your lips, kissing you between words. "Mhm." You hum in response, before taking the thicker ring out of the box in your hand. "Let me put this on you. You can't take it off, like, ever."

"Wait, you first." He pulls away, taking the ring out of the box and sliding it into his coat pocket. He takes your hand in his carefully, "I think I'm gonna cry." "That's okay. I've seen you cry before. I've seen you throw up and I still think you're a pretty okay guy." You joke to ease him, noting the way his fingers tremble slightly as they slide the ring down your finger. It fits snugly, and he runs his thumb over it a few times before looking up at you. "Are you sure?" "Are you?" You hold up his ring, and he nods slowly. "If I'm not sure of anything else in this life, I have the comfort of knowing I'll always be sure of you." "When did you become so profound?" You tease, slipping the ring down his finger. He scoffs, "What part of you deflect and I don't did you forget? I've always been this way! You've just gotten good at ignoring me because you don't like to admit my compliments make you feel some type of way." "You just make me nervous." You confess quietly, tugging on the lapel of his coat. "You think you don't make me nervous? I can't talk to you sometimes without getting my tongue twisted."

"Your tongue does better things than talk, Chan." "I thought we were having a wholesome moment here." He flicks your forehead, your hand moving up to swat his hand away. He grabs it midair, pressing a kiss to your fingertips. "Are we still keeping this under wraps?" Your eyes widen, "Shit, are we?" "I mean…my mom knows I got these." He winces, and you click your tongue. "Your mom also told me you're a crybaby who called her and said I broke your heart."

"I may be a crybaby but at least I can tell someone when I love them." He scoffs, making you furrow your brows. "You wanna play that game? Because I have so much shit from Soonyoung and Mingyu, too." "Tell me you love me!" He whines, and you roll your eyes. "I'm your girlfriend, not your puppet. I'll tell you when I'm good and damn ready." "Great, I'm ending the year with a girlfriend that hates me." He sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose before sucking his teeth. "I did this to myself." "If you get me out of the cold within the next twenty seconds, I'll let you go down on me when we get home." You offer, before a shriek rips through you as he throws you over his shoulder.

"As you wish, girlfriend."

DECEMBER 31, 9:42PM.

Chan in fact, did go down on you when you got home. Twice on your bed without even taking your dress off, and once in the shower. Your legs could barely hold you up, but that doesn't really matter when your boyfriend forgets his own strength while pinning you against the bath tile.

Christmas Day was rather uneventful aside from unwrapping gifts, with Rosie screaming excitedly about the extensive sets of Legos and Barbie dolls you and Chan got for her. Your parents gifted you and Chan a vacation to Bali, set for after your graduation, as well as a new pair of earrings. The Lees gave you a rush of nostalgia as they gave you yet another locket, this one with a picture of you and Chan as babies.

Chan watched the exchanges quietly, and the night concluded with you and him falling asleep watching a movie in your bed. His parents never did make him move to his bedroom after Mingyu and Soonyoung left, and your parents didn't mind him staying so long as you were fine with it. You still didn't fuck him, but he was perfectly content with waiting – so long as you didn't mind his tongue between your thighs in the middle of the night or at the crack of dawn. You spent the next few days simply existing within your families. You got your nails done with Mrs. Lee, and took Rosie along with you. Rosie got her cast off and cried when the physician cut through your signature, tears only stopped by a scoop of chocolate almond ice cream on a waffle cone. You spent a bit of time with your mother at the restaurant, tasting a few of her new recipes and coming home to sleep in Chan's arms with a stomach ache from all the food. Per usual, Chan continued his whispered sweet nothings and you shied away from him often, only for him to pull you back into his embrace and kiss you until you couldn't breathe, followed by murmurs of I love you.

The days were quiet, and your families were slowly growing used to having you and Chan around – something that always backfired on them, because the two of you usually left a day or two after ringing in the New Year together. It helped you beat the traffic back, and it helped you decompress from spending so much time with Chan.

Not that you'd need to do that this time…because, well. You know.

"Do I look okay?" You ask your mother for the billionth time, smoothing your hands over the front of your dress. She rolls her eyes as she sprays a bit of perfume in the middle of your back, making you flinch at the sensation. "You look lovely, darling. Please, get a grip! This is just the same people we've rung the New Year in with every year. Nothing new, nothing to be nervous about."

Your mother sprays perfume on her wrists, before dabbing them on her neck. "Go downstairs, check on Rosie. I'm going to be so upset if your father let her have anything that could stain that dress, it was too expensive to ruin." You sigh shakily, looking at yourself in the full-length mirror your mother had in her bedroom. Your dress was black and glittery, ending at your mid-thigh with an open back that left little to the imagination as it stopped just at the dip of your spine. It had straps that sat off your shoulders with a low-cut neckline, and you only wore a necklace that Chan had bought to play off the rings he'd gotten you. It sat nicely at the base of your throat, the only gift he gave you in front of your parents.

"Y/N!" Rosie called from the bottom of the stairs as you reached the first one, and you smiled down at her as you made your way down. "Babycakes! You look so pretty in your dress!"

"Thank you!" She beams up at you, holding a pink lollipop in her hand. Your father is sitting on the couch, eyes closed as you walk up behind him. "Catching up on sleep, old man?" "You know it. I love having you kids here, but I'm exhausted from all the socializing. I only have so many things to say." He sighs, and you snort. "Don't worry, just a few more days. Chan and I are leaving on the third, I think."

It's not long before your mother comes downstairs, her dress a sparkly burgundy this year. Her lipstick matches it, and your father presses a kiss to her temple as he helps her tug her coat on. Rosie is settled on your hip, her head resting on your shoulder as the four of you walk over to the Lees, and you already regret the thin coat you chose to layer over your dress. You shiver as you walk up the steps to the porch, Rosie fighting sleep as you bounce her around.

"Don't sleep, Rosie! It's just a little party!" You wiggle her around, her giggle tired as your mother knocks on the front door. Chan appears as he throws it open, ushering everyone inside. His eyes meet yours, widening at the necklace sitting on your skin. You feel your cheeks heat as you walk past him, setting Rosie down and tugging her coat off as he closes the door. You lower to her height, "Don't fall asleep, okay? You feel sleepy, come find me." You tap her cheeks, and she nods as she trails off to find your mother, who is greeting Mrs. Lee with the bottle of wine you brought over. Chan helps you stand upright, a soft smile on his face as he pulls you into a hug. "I haven't seen you since this morning. I missed you, gorgeous." He mumbles into your ear, and you roll your eyes as you weasel out of his embrace. "You always miss me. I'm literally across the lawn." You tug your scarf off, and he takes it, his hand awaiting for your coat. "What did your dad make this year?" You nod in the direction of the kitchen, the rich smell of lemongrass and garlic filling the house. He opens his mouth to respond, only for his words to get caught in his throat as you slide your coat off, his eyes landing on the expanse of your back. It's speckled with glitter, courtesy of your mother, and you swing your hair behind you as you hand him your coat.

"What? Are you okay?" Your voice is concerned as you glance at him, your hands moving to smooth the front of your dress. He blinks, before his mother's voice cuts through the air. "Y/N! Oh my, let me see your dress! Give me a spin!" She sets her wine glass down on the table, and you give her a warm hug before she spins you around. "You look stunning! Come, we have to take your picture." You give Chan a glance over your shoulder, his ears red as he snaps out of his daze, hanging your coat on the door as Mrs. Lee pulls you into the living room with your parents. She poses you all in front of her Christmas tree, before it's just you and Rosie. Rosie yawns as Mrs. Lee takes the photo, and you tell her it's best to just let the kid take a nap. "You can put her down in the guest bedroom, but can I get a picture with you and Channie first?" She nods, and you open your mouth to protest but she calls him over before you can say anything. He looks a bit bewildered as he walks over, clearing his throat as he stands next to you. You feel an awkward air floating off of him as he makes no move to touch you, and Mrs. Lee huffs. You quickly wrap his arm around your waist like you did on Christmas Eve, expecting his hand to fall in the same low spot on your hip – but you feel it ghosting over your back as you resume the same position. You don't say anything, just smiling as Mrs. Lee snaps your photo. She thanks you, turning away with the permission to drop Rosie in the guest bedroom.

"Wanna tell me what your problem is?" You mutter to Chan, who sucks his teeth. "Wanna tell me why you wore this dress?" "Oh, so I'm the problem? Good to know." You grit, before you pick Rosie up off the couch, hoisting her over your shoulder as you make your way to the guest bedroom. Chan follows closely behind you without you realizing, and is leaning in the door frame as you tuck Rosie into the bed, carefully covering her with the blanket so as to not be blamed for creases in her dress. You kiss her forehead, walking out of the bedroom only to bump into Chan, who grabs your arm and pulls you into his bedroom with a quick tug. "Bro." You're frustrated, pinching the bridge of your nose as you pull your arm out of his grasp, only for him to pull you into him by your waist. "Don't call me bro, I literally made you cum on my tongue this morning." He scoffs, his grip is bruising against your skin. "Who's the insatiable one now? Over a dress? Really?" You roll your eyes, but it seems your boyfriend has no time for your goading as he pushes you against his door, lips pressed against yours in a searing kiss. You melt into him, your arms wrapping around his neck as he slides his hands down your back. He pulls away with a nip to your lip, leaving you to pout as you chase after him. "Not just a dress, you in this fucking dress. What were you thinking?" "Wanted you to see me in it." You confess quietly, your eyes glued to his lips, now slightly stained with your red lipstick. He sighs, "Don't act cute. I can't be mad when you do that." "Don't be mad at me. Don't you think I look pretty?" Your eyes feign innocence, blinking up at him as he groans in lust-fueled frustration. "Not mad at you, baby. Never mad at you." He rests his forehead against yours, "I want you so fucking bad, it's pathetic." "Have me." You murmur, nosing at him as he shakes his head. "I can't, not right now. Certainly not in my parents' house." "Oh, but when it's my parents' house, it's fine??" You snort, making him laugh softly, brushing a kiss against your lips. "For old time's sake, I'll say yes. Keeping up with traditions and whatnot."

"They're gonna wonder where we are." You sigh, before feeling his hands travel further south. You swat them away, "If you're not gonna fuck me, you can't feel me up and leave me all needy. It's not fair." "I like it when you're needy." He kisses your jaw, and you scowl, pinching his nipple through his shirt. Of course, the rat bastard only leans into your touch, eliciting soft whine from his throat. "You're such a fucking freak!"

"You're literally the reason I'm this way. You're the blueprint." He rolls his eyes, before he turns you over, pushing your chest against the door as he presses his hips into you. Your eyes flutter shut, a soft sigh falling from your lips as he grinds against you. His fingers toy with the hem of your dress, shoving it up slightly when you hear a gasp from his lips.

"Oh, you've gotta be fucking kidding me."

He moves away entirely, and you feel him sink to his knees behind you. He pushes your dress up, the fabric bunching around your hips to expose your bare ass. You'd forgone underwear in hopes of things going this direction tonight, but certainly not this early in the night. But by all means, you're willing to let bygones be bygones as long as Chan keeps touching you.

You can almost hear his internal battle as he pushes you forward a bit, spreading your thighs with his hands. "You're gonna kill me one day, aren't you? In cold blood. I'll be dead because you can't behave." He's fighting himself as you glance over your shoulder, a look feigning disinterest on your face as you shrug. "Take it or leave it."

He chooses to leave it, but not before sinking his teeth into your thigh, pinning your arm to your back when you reach to swat at him. "Chan!" "Shut up, they'll hear you." He rolls his eyes as he stands, using his free hand to massage the bitten area. "You can wait, right? It's only two hours." "I don't want to." You pout, pushing back against him. He lands a quick slap to the meat of your ass, your cheeks flushed as he whispers in your ear. "You're gonna have to, baby. Be a good girl for me, yeah?"

You huff, squirming against him when you feel his hand slip between your thighs. His fingertips drag slowly through your wet folds, just barely breaching your entrance when he pulls them away. "Open your mouth."

You turn to see him licking his fingers clean, your heart beating wildly in your chest as he repeats himself. "Open. Don't make me do it for you."

"Kiss me first." He does as you ask, tugging the fabric of your dress back down as he snakes his tongue into your mouth. Your hands fist at the lapels of his suit jacket, whining into his mouth before he pulls away. Your lips jut out in a pout, a soft chuckle from Chan before he tucks a strand of hair behind your ear. "Open up." You do as you're told, sticking your tongue out for him to spit onto. Your eyes flutter shut the moment you feel it, his hand on your jaw pulling you forward to kiss him. Your legs feel like jelly at his touch, feeling him mumble those three little words against your lips.

"I love you. Don't act up and I won't, either." He holds his pinky out, and you reluctantly link yours with it. He wipes the corners of your lips, "Go. I have to…calm down."

"Tell me you love me again." You look up at him, making him roll his eyes as he bites back a smile. "If I tell you again, will you get out?" "Maybe." You smile back, making him physically turn you, his hands on your shoulders as you turn the doorknob to his room. "I love you, baby. Now, go." You slink out of his bedroom, shutting the door behind you as you slip into the bathroom. Your skin feels hot as you look in the mirror, your lipstick only slightly smudged – a blessing, truly. You pat your fingers over your swollen lips, before checking the hem of your dress. You tug it lower, making sure it covers everything before ruffling your hair and taking a deep breath.

Two hours. Easy.

Not easy.

It's been an hour and forty-five minutes, and you can feel your patience wearing thin as Chan acts like nothing happened.

He's standing across the room, talking to your mother with a soft smile on his face – just like he has been for the last thirty minutes. His wine is the same color as her dress, listening to her drone on and on about the benefits of turmeric in cooking as well as body products. Your cheek is resting on the heel of your palm, your other hand holding your second flute of champagne as you stare at your boyfriend without a care in the world – when you see a little head start floating your way, a frumpled blue dress catching your eye.

"Y/N?" She calls tiredly, rubbing her eyes as she looks around for you. "Babycakes! I'm over here, come sit with me!" You pat your lap, setting your champagne on the table as she makes her way over to you. She climbs into your lap and you smooth her hair down as she rests her head on your shoulder.

"How was your nap? Any good dreams?" You ask, twirling a piece of her hair in your fingers. She shakes her head, "No dreams. Just sleep." She shrugs, yawning as she buries her face into your neck. You wrap your arms around her, rocking back and forth and humming quietly.

It's not even five minutes when she falls limp with sleep in your arms, and you rest your cheek atop her head as Mrs. Lee makes way to you, her silver dress stunning as she extends her hands. "Do me a favor, honey. Go steal Chan from your mother, we're going to start the countdown soon and I'm sure you want to spend a few moments with him.” Her eyes twinkle like she knows something, taking Rosie from your lap. You nod sheepishly, standing up and tugging your dress down slightly. You grab your flute of champagne, smiling inwardly as you make your way across the living room to Chan's side. You squeeze your mother's shoulder lightly to get her attention, her voice stopping in the middle of a rosemary and thyme soap recipe she's reciting. "Yes, darling?" "Rosie's up. Might wanna check on her, I can't gauge if she'll sleep tonight." You wince, and your mother nods, putting her wine glass down on the coffee table. She walks away, your father joining her in the kitchen when you feel Chan's hand on your lower back. "Hey." He pulls you into his side, his thumb rubbing circles into your skin. You try not to lean into the touch, a soft smile on your lips. "Hey. Tired?" "Exhausted, actually. I do not want to be here right now." He sighs, and you open your mouth to reply when you see Mr. Lee turn the television on to the New Year's Eve countdown from the Lotte World Tower. You smile to yourself as Chan shuffles you both behind the couch, his hand keeping skin-on-skin contact the entire time. You miss the glance your father gives you as you lean your head on Chan's shoulder, the way Chan's fingers run up and down your side.

You miss the way your mother joins him in looking at the two of you, the way Chan's looks at you adoringly. The way your arm wraps around his waist, and your fingers trace circles into his side, the glint of the ring he gave you mocking her in the light. Your mother gives your father a look, one that screams is that what I think it is? Your father only shrugs, draping his own arm around her shoulders and making her face the television. The reporter is excitedly moving around the prepared stage, talking a mile a minute about all the musical achievements by artists in a rapid fire attempt to fill the last two minutes to the countdown. Mrs. Lee slots her fingers with her husband, and you find yourself finding Rosie's sleepy eyes on your father's shoulder. She smiles, giving you a thumbs up and you scrunch your nose at her, giving one back. She points at Chan, and you tap him to get his attention for her. He looks up, meeting her eyes and receiving the same reaction. He gives her one back, and she closes her eyes, turning the other way.

"She's adorable." He murmurs as you look up at him, "She is." The reporter smiles widely as the large number 10 splays on the television. Your parents break into chatter, Chan's parents drifting over to yours slowly. You tug at Chan's sleeve, earning a hum as he looks at you once more.

"Do you ever think about what our kids will look like?" You whisper, and he nods. "Sometimes." 9…

"Do you have names?" "A few."

8…

"Do you think about our wedding?" "All the time. I'm going to cry like a fucking baby." 7…

"How do you feel about a summer wedding?" "Whatever you want, baby. I'd get married in the woods if you wanted." 6…

"Like in Breaking Dawn?" "That wedding was beautiful. I cried, remember?" 5…

"I do. You cry a lot, you know?" "Emotional vulnerability is sexy, is it not?"

4…

"You think so?" "I know so." 3…

"Hey, Chan?" "Yes, Y/N?" 2…

"Are you gonna kiss me?" "Yeah, babe. I'm gonna kiss you." 1…

"I love you." You mumble, pressing your lips to his as the reporter boasts a Happy New Year from Lotte World Tower!

His hand is low on your back as he kisses you deeply, your own holding his cheek as your parents cheer and congratulate each other. You hear a soft voice above it all, "Channie and Y/N are kissing."

You pull back from Chan to see your parents gaping at you, and Rosie smiling before she lays her cheek back on your father's shoulder. "I told you they were boyfriend and girlfriend. You owe me fifty bucks, Mommy."

You gawk at her, Chan coughing awkwardly as your mother covers her face. "You bet on us?" "I assume the two of you managed to talk things out." Your father's voice is level, a warm smile on his face as Chan clears his throat. "Yes, sir." "And everything is okay…now?" Mr. Lee chimes in, your face growing warm as you nod, "Yes, sir." "And you're…together? Officially?" Mrs. Lee asks calmly, a grin fighting its way onto her lips as you and Chan flush embarrassedly. "Yes." You say in unison, and Mrs. Lee smiles from ear to ear, holding her hand out to your mother.

"You owe me a hundred bucks." "Wanna take a drive? I don't want to see money exchange hands." Chan scoffs, and the parents start arguing within themselves – mostly your mother defending herself and your father rolling his eyes as he fishes his wallet out, eager to pay your mother's debts.

"We're outta here." You announce, grabbing your coat off the rack. Your father gives you a nod, "We'll be here a while, it seems. Be safe, honey."

You nod, placing a kiss on Rosie's head before you leave. "Thanks, babycakes." "You're welcome, sissy." She smiles tiredly, closing her eyes as you ruffle her hair. You slip out, Chan closing the door behind you as you tug your coat on. "We're not actually going on a drive, you know that, right?" His gaze is pointed, and you roll your eyes as you pull him off his porch, the cold winter air nothing in comparison to the heat on your skin as you fumble for your keys. He keeps his hands off you as you both make your way to your house, your fingers trembling in excitement as you stick the key in the lock and turn it. You push the door open carefully, and he slides in behind you, shutting it with his foot and locking it behind him.

You peel your coat off, handing it to him to hang on the rack by the door. He's oddly quiet as he does the same, before silently taking your hand and leading you to your bedroom. He lets you walk in first, locking the door behind him as you step out of your heels.

You feel his hands on your bare waist, pulling your back to him as he presses a soft kiss to your shoulder. You close your eyes, feeling his lips trail up your shoulder, before his teeth tug on the necklace he gave you. "Can we keep this on?" "Yeah."

He hums softly, pressing a kiss behind your ear. His hands move to your arms, "Can we take this off? Is that okay?" You nod silently, letting him slip the straps of your dress down your arms, the fabric pooling around your hips as he sighs, keeping his hands on your sides as he trails open-mouthed kisses down your spine, breathing you in like you're the only oxygen he knows. His teeth tug at the hem of your dress, pulling it over the swell of your ass with ease. The flimsy fabric falls to your feet, his teeth nipping at your hip before you feel him stand, his hands on your waist turning you around.

"I love you." He presses his forehead to yours, eyes closed as yours open. You look at him in the moonlight, every eyelash, every tired line, everything that is the Lee Chan you love illuminated before you. Your hands move to his shirt, "Is this where I say it, too?" Your comment makes him smile inwardly, "If you'd like. I heard you, when you kissed me. You don't have to, I know you do." You feel so vulnerable under him like this, but you know him. You know he's just as vulnerable as you are, your fingers fumbling with the buttons of his shirt and untucking it from his belt. Your voice feels lost, but you clear your throat as you push his shirt down over his shoulders, revealing toned arms and the same muscular chest you loved to lay your head upon on sleepless nights.

"I love you, endlessly." You say softly, your eyes flickering up to meet his gaze. He nods silently, pressing a kiss to your forehead as your hands move to his belt, carefully tugging the leather strap from the silver buckle. You pull it through the loops, letting it fall to the ground as Chan's hands come to your face, his thumbs stroking your cheeks gently as your hands unbutton his slacks, carefully tugging the zipper down as you brush a kiss to his jaw.

He stops you from pushing his pants down, his lips finding yours with a gentle insanity one can only describe as love. He swipes your hair back over your shoulders as he lets your hands rest on his waist, his lips pouring every single word into your mouth with a passion you'd only ever felt with him. This is the kiss you missed for three years, the soft grip of his hand in your hair as he guides his tongue against yours fluidly. This is the man you longed for unknowingly for your entire life, so loving and soft and sensual as he sucks on your tongue with a quiet moan.

This is the love you'd patiently waited to return to you, the way you felt the cool metal of his matching ring against the warm skin of your thigh as he picked you up effortlessly, your legs wrapping around his waist as your arms draped over his shoulders. This is the love you'd wantonly waited for, the way he eased you onto your bed, not letting you untangle yourself from him as he continued to kiss you so agonizingly slow, you could feel your arousal slightly soak into the waistband of his slacks.

This is the love you'd yearned for, where he remembers every single one of your buttons. How he doesn't stop kissing you because he knows you love the feeling of his lips against yours, the way his hand only slides from your thigh to your dripping core because he knows you hate when he's not touching you constantly. How he steadies himself above you by pinning one hand above your head, interlacing your fingers as his other hand spreads your thighs for him.

"I love you." He whispers against your lips, not giving you a chance to respond as he carefully glides two of his fingers through your slick folds, earning a shiver as he traces your clit slowly. You mewl in his ear, his skin prickling with goosebumps at how wet you are for him. He presses a kiss to your jaw, "My gorgeous girl. So perfect for me." You bite back a whimper as his hand lands a rather wet slap to your clit, your body jolting into his as he chuckles. "Still like that?" He does it again, your thighs flinching around his hips as a broken moan leaves you.

He kisses your lips, swallowing any sounds you could've let out as he stops teasing you, his fingers carefully curling into your entrance. You shudder against him, a high-pitched whine from you making him laugh against your mouth. "Feel good, baby?" His thumb circles your clit as his fingers scissor you open, the pads of his digits brushing that spongy spot inside you that makes your breathing shaky. Your walls are impossibly tight around his fingers and it makes him dizzy, feeling you clench around his hand every time he reaches that spot he knows can make you cum within minutes. "Faster, please…" You run your hand through his hair, pulling him back down to your lips. He kisses you messily, bullying his fingers into you faster and feeling you pant yes, just like that softly against his lips. "Just like that? Like it fast, baby?" He mocks you, loving the way you nod dumbly. "Love it, love you, Channie.." Your eyes are teary as he brings you to the edge, his stomach fluttering at your soft whines. You made him feel like he was on fire, overstimulating his every sense with your whimpered begging for more as he nipped at your chest, his tongue swirling around your nipple as he mimics you, "Yeah, love me? How much, princess?"

"So m-much, think about you all day. Want you all the time, f-fuck…" Your thighs tighten around his hips, "Want me all the time? You're so cute. So needy for me, huh?"

You can only nod, tears collecting at the corners of your eyes as your nails dig into his shoulder, a tell-tale sign you're going to cum if he keeps going. He pulls a guttural moan from you, his favorite of them all as you coat his hand and wrist with your orgasm. "That's it, baby. Let go for me." He works you through it, your thighs trembling just like the first night the two of you slept together, your moans becoming nothing but soft whines against his lips.

"S'too much, too much.." You push his hand away with a whimper, your eyes barely open as you watch him lick his fingers clean like he did earlier. You shift under him, blinking your eyes as wide as you can, watching the way his tongue slid between his fingers. "See something you like?" He purrs against your lips, his wet fingers flicking your lower lip as you nod your head.

"You." Your voice is soft, and you see his eyes soften slightly as he smiles shyly. You wrap your legs around him, running a hand through his hair again, tugging slightly. "Want you." "You have me, baby." He kisses you chastely, relishing in the way you chase after his lips, huffing. "Kiss me like you mean it." You pull him closer, nipping at his lower lip with your teeth as he connects your mouths. The kiss is wet and messy, and you can feel him rolling his hips into you, the tip of his clothed cock rutting against your clit deliciously. But, you want it off.

"Take your pants off. Wanna feel you." You bite at his lips, and he moans, rutting against you like he can't stop. You whimper, your hips moving in tandem with his as you reach down and snap his waistband against his skin. "Fuck." Chan breathes against your jaw, shoving his pants and underwear down with one hand before he lets go of your hand, pulling them off fully with a hiss. He moves back up to kiss you, your nails digging into his back as you hold him close, your legs tight around his hips as he grinds his heavy cock against your wet heat. You're messy but that's how he likes it – your thighs twitch with overstimulation as he ruts his cock against you, leaning up to watch the way he leaks beads of precum onto your skin. "So fucking pretty." His thumb finds your clit, smirking at the way your thighs close slightly.

"So wet, too. Messy, messy girl." He grunts in your ear, "Can I put it in? Can you take it?"

"Please." You breathe out, making him meet your eyes. "Please what, baby?"

You scoff at his teasing smile, but you don't miss the adoration in his eyes as he plants a kiss to your lips. "Use your words."

You don't respond as you pout slightly, his lips brushing against yours. Your eyes are shy as he tries to find your gaze, a hiss from behind his teeth as your fingers reach between you to wrap around his shaft, his hands fisting the sheets around your head as you align him with your entrance.

"Please? Want you." Your eyes are wide and watery, too much for him to handle.

He caves, moving your hand out of the way to sink into you – his tip barely breaching your walls when you hear a whimper from Chan, his eyes glued to your glistening folds. Your head falls back with a groan as he slides in deeper, a whispered chant of fuck, fuck, fuck from his lips as you clench around him. You whine, digging your nails into his bicep as you push his hips down the rest of the way with your legs, hearing him groan at the way you swallow him perfectly.

"D-Don't, don't move. Just…wait." Your eyes are screwed shut, Chan's running all over your body. A singular bead of sweat runs down your neck, his fingers instinctively reaching to wipe it. You lean into his touch, your eyes still closed as you take his hand in yours, kissing his fingertips. "I love you." "I love you too, baby." He murmurs, and you shake your head as you lean your forehead to his, holding his hand to your chest. Your heart is beating a mile a minute, "This is how I feel every time I see you. There has never been a minute of my life that I haven't been so pathetically in love with you." He doesn't respond, his eyes glazed with unshed tears as yours open. You blink at him silently, your arms moving to wrap around his neck as you press a kiss to his nose, then his cheeks. "Obsessed with you." You mumble against his skin, feeling his hands wrap around your thighs with a shaky breath. "Missed you, my baby." Your admission is followed by a kiss to his lips, Chan's eyes fluttering shut as you drag your lips down his jaw. "I missed you, my love." He whispers in your ear, the pet name one he only used during your relationship. His teeth graze on your earlobe, before he plants a kiss on your neck as you run your fingers through his hair, pulling him to your lips. You slot your lips with his carefully, swallowing a whimper as you feel his hands push your thighs apart more.

"Ready? Want me to go slow?" His voice is shaky, making you run a hand through his hair. "Whatever you want, baby."

He nods, giving an experimental roll of his hips – his chest swelling with pride as your eyes roll back with a soft groan. You let him set the pace, the delicious drag of his cock making your hands fist the sheets as your head falls back against the mattress. His fingers are bruising around your thighs, his eyes glued to your face, biting back his moans as you whine pathetically.

"Feel good?" He murmurs as he thrusts into you a little harder, before letting go of your thighs and pinning your hand above your head, interlacing your fingers. Your eyes are closed and you can barely feel your head nodding as your limbs buzz with lust, a moan meeting his neck as you mouth at it. "Need words, baby." He leans to nip at your lips, feeling your other hand tug at his hair. "Feels s'good, daddy, fuck.." Your voice is no higher than a whisper, and Chan swears his brain short-circuits as he buries his face in your neck. He feels dizzy as he breathes in your perfume, hearing you whimper as he bullies his cock into you faster.

“So. Fucking. Wet.” He groans, his teeth biting at any surface of your skin as he grips your hips bruisingly. "Missed you so much, baby. W-Wanna fill you up, shit. Make you mine f-forever." His ramblings are only slightly incoherent, your cheeks warming as if you're not both naked right now, the only thing remaining is your jewelry – all of which he's given you.

"Y-Yeah? Want it, want you to fill me up..." You rasp, tightening your legs around his waist as he whimpers loudly. Your fingers rake through his hair, pulling his head away from your neck and meeting his eyes. They're full of a certain craze you've only ever seen during your relationship, a dark look of lust that swirls from the depths of the brown in his irises that makes you shiver as you press your lips to his. It's messy and rough, his hand circling the base of your neck to steady himself. Your own wrap around his wrist, sliding your tongue into his mouth with practised ease.

He sucks on your tongue messily, whining as you clamp down around him. You feel his hand loosen around your neck, sliding up to cup your face softly, your own moving to his back. Your nails dig into his shoulder as he thrusts into you, the tip of his cock brushing you just right that you moan into his mouth.

"Right there? There?" He pulls back, pistoning his hips into you as you nod frantically, your eyes filling with tears as your nails drag down his back. He tries not to close his eyes at the sensation, loving the way you bite down on your lip when his thumb pulls it out from under your teeth. "Wanna hear you, baby. Wanna know who's making you feel good."

You can hardly speak through your whines, his vision going blurry as your nails dig into his hips. His lips find the shell of your ear, "Come on, baby. Tell daddy who's making you this wet." Your cheeks heat as you whimper into his skin, your lower lip dragging against his sweatslick cheek. You tug at the small silver hoop in his ear, "Y-You are. Always m-make me feel s'good, daddy. W-Wanna cum for you..." You trail off as his teeth nip at your neck, your voice reduced to breathy whines as he bites down on your chest. His tongue quickly licks over the indents of his teeth, as his hands move to your thighs, pushing them apart as he towers over you. Your eyes open only enough to see the wad of spit drip from his lips, your hips jolting as it slides down your clit.

"Don't need it. Just like seeing you squirm, baby." He murmurs, pushing your knees to your chest as he continues to fuck into you. Your eyes fall on the ruddy blush on his cheeks, his own glued to the way your cunt swallows him perfectly. His fingers tighten around your legs, his lip tucked under his teeth as he screws his eyes shut, but you can't stop looking at him. The slope of his neck, littered with nips from your teeth that'll disappear by morning. His broad shoulders, slick with sweat and covered in deep, red marks from your nails. His chest, littered with faded love bites from the past few mornings waking up by his side. His forearms, flexing with every push of his hips, similar to the way they do when he holds you up against the shower wall. The sheen of your arousal on his fingers, the gold ring on his left hand that matches yours covered in a mix of spit and your cum. It's overwhelming, the way your insides feel fuzzy and the way your vision zeroes in on his ring, the glint in the moonlight mocking you.

"I can't wait to marry you." You mumble, covering your face with your arms as Chan jerks to a stop. You can still see him through a crevice in your arms, and you watch the way he swallows carefully. "W-What?" "I said, I can't wait to marry you." You repeat slightly louder, your eyes widening as you feel him twitch inside you. He scoffs quietly, "Babe, you can't say that." His eyes close, and you hear him take a deep breath as you sit up on your elbows.

"Why? I want to marry you." You huff, your mouth opening to say more when a sudden thrust from Chan's hips knocks the wind out of you. His whimper fills the room as he spreads your thighs out of habit, "I w-won't last if you say t-that."

You can barely speak with the way he's drilling his cock into you, his thumb working tight circles into your clit as your head falls back against the sheets with pleasure. You manage to string your words together, your stomach filling with that familiar heat as you speak, "W-We have the rest of o-our lives, b-baby…" He whines loudly as his hips are flush to yours, shuddering slightly as he fills you with his release. He has a pout on his lips as he overstimulates himself through his orgasm, leaning into your soft whines, brushing his lips against yours. "I love you." He whispers as you clench around him, the band in your lower belly snapping as you whine pitifully as his hand slides in yours.

The air around you settles, Chan reaching to brush your hair out of your eyes and pressing a kiss to your forehead. "I love you, baby." You nod loosely, a mumble of I love you tumbling against his clavicle. You feel him pull out slowly, a hiss from the both of you filling the silence. Wincing lightly, you go to sit up but his hand on your chest stops you. "Lie down." You don't question him as he slides one of your pillows under your head – but your brows are furrowed as he kisses down your body, sinking to his knees as he reaches the edge of your bed. You sit up slightly, "Chan, are you–" He doesn't reply, looking you in the eyes as he flattens his tongue against your sloppy cunt. Your eyes widen as he looks away, his arms wrapping around your thighs carefully. You're far too sensitive for this, but you can't seem to look away as he sucks your clit between his pouty lips. "You're fucking f-filthy, Lee Chan." "Open your mouth." He shrugs as he speaks into your skin, and you scoff out a laugh. He raises a brow as he looks up at you, making your cheeks flush. You sit up on your elbows, his arms pulling you closer to his face before fucking the wet muscle of his tongue into your spent hole. Your gasp is almost unnoticeable, your eyes starry as you watch him collect the mix of your releases in his mouth.

Your thighs tremble in his hands, your mind fuzzy with overstimulation as you whine softly. He pulls away, rising off his knees and sliding his thigh between yours as his hand finds your cheek. You instinctively open your mouth as he looks into your eyes, his thumb pulling at your lower lip as he spits his release onto your tongue. Your eyes flutter shut at the taste, feeling him snake his tongue into your mouth in a wet kiss. He pushes you back against the pillow slowly, his hand moving from your cheek to interlace your fingers as his lips trail down your jaw.

"I think your parents are home." He murmurs, and you try your best to zero in on any sounds that could allude to such. He nuzzles his nose into the crook of your neck, "Do you want to stop?"

You don't respond, hearing the jingle of the doorknob as Chan tugs on your earlobe with his teeth. You cover your mouth as a breathy moan slips out, feeling Chan smile against your skin. "We can stop, baby." You shake your head frantically as you hear your mother sigh and the creak of the stairs under their footsteps. Your father's footsteps are heavy behind your mother's light ones, and you hear the door to their bedroom open, the hinges desperately in need of an oiling. It closes, and you breathe out carefully.

"I have so many questions but I can ask them later. Can you go again?" You mutter, feeling him scoff against your skin. "Is that how you're going to ask me?" "I can always just ride you until you cry like I did in the back of your car three years ago." You huff, feeling Chan pinch your hip. "Can you even hold yourself up?" He smirks down at you, making you furrow your brows.

"Watch me." "I intend to."

JANUARY 1, 5:44AM.

The only reason you and Chan stop is because he's made you soak through your sheets twice, the edge of your bed sopping wet as he carefully carries you into the bathroom. How he's even able to stand up is beyond you, your legs loosely wrapped around his bare waist as he leans to turn the water on in your shower.

You wince as he sets you down on the edge of the tub, his fingers expertly releasing the clasp on your necklace and draping it on your bathroom counter. "Don't want it to snag in your hair." He murmurs as he helps you back up, your legs hardly functioning as he makes you step into the tub. The hot water feels great against your hips, your lips parting against Chan's chest in a soft groan as he holds you to him. He laughs softly, and you feel the pads of his fingers digging into the sore muscles. "I'm sorry, baby. Maybe that last position was too much, hm?" "Fuck all the way off." You mutter, resting your cheek on his chest as he coos at you. "How's that for three ways to Sunday?" "Great. It was great, wonderful. If fucking someone three ways to Sunday was an Olympic sport, you'd win gold every time." You confess quietly, your eyes barely open as you hear him pop the cap of your shampoo. "You know, you talk a lot when we have sex." "Mmh, do I? What did I say?" You feel his fingers card through your hair, making him snicker. "For one, I think you're the one with the daddy thing. You said it more than once and I'm honestly a little impressed with your commitment to the bit…if it is a bit." "Shut up. Wash my hair like a good boyfriend." Your cheeks grow hot as he laughs, leaning down to press a kiss to your hairline. "You also asked me when I'd marry you, and that you'd marry me tonight if you could." "When?" Your head snaps up to look at him, and he shrugs, a teasing smile on his lips. "If I recall correctly, you were face down–" "Enough." You turn away, pressing your forehead to his chest once more. "You're not supposed to make fun of me, I was vulnerable." "M'not making fun of you, baby. I'm absolutely enamored with you, I'd also marry you tonight if you'd allow it." He shrugs as he tilts your head back to rinse your hair, and you pout up at him. "I have a question." "Shoot." He feels your hands trace his torso, before you flick his hip. "What is this?" He looks down, the faded tattoo you'd been wondering about peeking through your fingers. He sighs, "It's a tattoo, babe. What else would it be?"

"Well for one, it's shitty. Second of all, of what?" You run your thumb over his skin, making him snort. "It is shitty, because I was drunk and I got it done with Soonyoung and Mingyu at their friend Seungcheol's apartment. It's also shitty because Seungcheol wanted someone to practice his fine line technique on and I was so wasted that I volunteered." "You've never been that reckless unless you're with me. Where was I? And what is it!?" You insist, and he snorts as he pours your body wash on your loofah. "It's your name. I kept saying it because I always think of you when I'm drunk and Seungcheol assumed it was what I wanted. It was actually very pretty when it was new, it's just faded now. There's a little red splotch somewhere, it was a heart."

He nods as you gape at him, "My name?" "It was two years ago. I was actually going to call you before Soonyoung threw my phone in the pool and told me I didn't deserve to call you if I wasn't going to beg for you back. I was always willing, I was just scared you'd reject me because of how much of a douche I'd been." "How'd you explain this to your hookups?" You blurt, and he smiles. "I didn't. They always knew. I don't know if you want me to talk about that, though. Your feelings are important to me and I was so shitty to you then." "You're a dumbass, both for not just talking to me and for getting this done at someone's apartment. You should get it redone at an actual parlor, I heard Hansol does tattoos now." You trace the faded ink, and he snorts. "I'd bet you'd like that, wouldn't you? Just branding me like that."

You don't say anything as he runs the sponge over your body, your eyes pointed as he scoffs. "But I'm the freak." "I counted thirty six positions, you are the freak. God forbid I want a little something to kiss before I go down on you." You roll your eyes, and you hear him choke as he pushes you back slightly under the water. "Careful, you'll sound like me if you keep that up." "Oh my God, I fucking asked you if I was too rough! You insisted I keep going!" He whines, landing a soft smack to your thigh as he washes your legs. You snicker, holding onto his shoulders, looking down at the red lines you'd inflicted. "Oh, your back is gonna hurt, babe." "Well worth it, in my opinion. I honestly thought I was going to lose my mind yesterday." He sighs as he stands upright, your arms wrapping around his waist as he presses a kiss to your hairline. "I'm sorry it took me so long to get my shit together, my love." "You know you've never called me that outside of those two months we were together?" You murmur, and he nods. "Mmh. Can't call you something you aren't, can I? I mean, you'll always be the love of my life but you weren't exactly mine and I didn't deserve you then, anyway." "And you do now?" You ask softly, and he shakes his head as he switches you out to stand under the showerhead, wincing as the hot water hits his back. "No. I'm always going to be undeserving of you, especially after the shit I pulled. But I have no problem spending my lifetime proving that I love you."

You don't reply, holding onto him silently as he cleanses himself. Your eyes linger on the flexing of his muscles, the way his face twitches as your body wash stings the aftermath of your nails digging into his back. "I'll be nicer next time." You assure him as he rolls his eyes, a mumble of no you won't from his lips as he presses a kiss to your hairline.

The sun is beginning to peek into your bedroom by the time you and Chan exit, and you sit in your bathrobe as Chan strips your sheets. He makes your bed in silence, hiding his yawns with shakes of his head and fishing through your drawers for his old clothes. He finds a pair of sweatpants and an old cheer shirt of his, tugging them on before easing your tired form into your own pajamas. You nearly trip as he slides your shorts up your legs, his fingers cheekily pinching the swell of your ass as you swat at him.

"Unlock the door." You remind him as he slides you under the fresh blankets, and he nods, his breath minty from your toothpaste as he presses a kiss to your nose. He unlocks it quietly, checking the time on his phone before sliding in next to you. "What time is it?" "Almost seven. Rosie's gonna barge in here." He mumbles as you settle on top of him, your head on his chest as his hand slips under your shirt with a sigh. "I love you." "I love you, Channie." You murmur into his shirt, your eyes heavy as he pulls you impossibly closer, planting a kiss on your cheek without a word.

3:41PM.

You're the first to wake up, feeling like a train hit you as your muscles take in the absolute marathon you put yourself through with Chan the night before. You grimace as your back pops, stretching carefully so as to not wake up your boyfriend – who is curled into your chest, his arm hanging off your hip. Biting back your smile, you carefully run your fingers through his hair before sighing inwardly.

Sitting up slowly, you see something on your dresser. It's a framed photo, and a Polaroid tucked into the corner of the frame. You squint at it, unable to make out the shapes without rubbing at your eyes. Chan stirs next to you, a pout on his lips as he peels his eyes open. "Lay down, I'm cold."

"Hang on." You slide out of bed, wincing as you stand up. Your eyes land on the photo once more as you stand in front of your dresser, and it's you and Chan in a gold frame. It's the night of the Christmas Eve dinner, and it's slightly blurry but you can see the way you're smiling up at Chan shyly, and the way his eyes are starry as he looks down at you. It's the photo Rosie took, the one she didn't let you look at.

The Polaroid is also of you and Chan, in your bed with the same clothes you have on now. They must've walked in in the morning when neither of you responded, because you're both sound asleep in the photo. He's holding you close, and your arms are wrapped around his shoulders, your promise ring glinting against his neck in the flash of the camera. Your foreheads are pressed together, cheeks flushed in the soft morning light.

The note sits under the frame, and you look closer at the frame. Between You and Me, it reads, and you feel your cheeks heat as you slip the note out.

We've been trying to teach Rosie how to be careful with her money, because your mother started giving her an allowance a few weeks ago. She wanted to get you a Christmas gift but didn't know what you liked, and instead of asking…she took your camera from when you were a little girl and snapped a photo of you and Chan at Christmas Eve dinner. She told me when we were getting the photos developed that she thought Chan was really important to you, and that she knew she was, too – so it was like a win-win situation, to give you a gift of the things you cherish the most.

She's pretty good at making something out of nothing, and she begged me to take her to that old thrift store you loved in high school. She found this frame near the old book section that you walked through a lot, too. So profound for a child, but I digress. The Polaroid is from me, consider it an apology for allowing your mother to make such insane bets when we all knew that the two of you were bound to fall in love. P.S. Rosie's pretty good at capturing beautiful moments. Do you think she'd make a good wedding photographer? ♡

– Dad.

Your vision is blurry as you feel the heat of Chan's body behind you, his fingers carefully picking the frame up and looking at it. "You're so in love with me." He murmurs, and you half expect to look up and see him smiling – but his face is serious, his thumb ghosting over your face in the photo. You swallow nervously as he stares at the photo, clearing your throat.

"I am. Is that…okay?" You whisper, and he nods silently, closing his eyes as he sets the photo down. "We're taking that home, right? We can't leave it here. I want to see it everyday." He's not looking at you, holding the Polaroid gingerly in his hand. You watch as he sets it back down, his fingers plucking the note from your hand, leaning against the dresser as he reads it. He's blinking back tears and you feel your chest warm as he sighs, running his hand over his face. "We need to get Rosie that Lego set your dad said no to. The really big one, what was it?" "Rosie has never even seen Titanic. She just wants it because she thinks the boat is cool, and my dad said no because it's seven hundred dollars." You snort, and he shakes his head. "Don't care. She needs it. I need to buy it, where are your keys?"

"We'll take my dad's, I don't feel like moving her booster seat."

You smile to yourself as your boyfriend hands you a pair of jeans to slide on as he roots around for his socks, and you quietly slip out of your bedroom after tugging them on. You see your parents sitting around your dining room table, a few drinks and a deck of cards spread out between the four of them. Rosie sits quietly in Mrs. Lee's lap as Mrs. Lee explains the game, and you clear your throat. "Good afternoon." You say softly, and the parents turn their heads to look at you. They're smiling, and Rosie lights up, wiggling out of Mrs. Lee's lap and running towards you. "Did you like my present!? I made it for you!" "I know, babycakes. I loved your present." You pick her up, holding her on your hip as she moves your hair out of your face. You turn to your father, who has a knowing look on his face. "You mind if I take her for a bit? Chan wants to buy her something." "No sugar. She got a filling this morning." Your mother murmurs over her cards, taking a sip of her drink as she nods. Rosie huffs in your grasp, about to protest when Chan appears behind you. "Hey. Ready?"

His cheeks are ruddy as he greets your parents, and none of them say a word as you tug on your boots as he makes Rosie fetch her coat. She's nearly bouncing off the stairs as she runs back down, and Chan helps her put it on as she eagerly asks what she's getting and why she's getting it.

"Titanic." Chan shrugs, and your father nearly spits out his drink as you shove the two of them out of the door, grabbing his car keys off the hook. "Y/N! Don't buy her that, it's too expensive!" "Can't hear you, Pop! See ya!" You grin cheekily, slipping out the front door and seeing Chan and Rosie giggling as he buckles her into her seat. Your heart warms at the sight, and you make eye contact with Chan as he shuts the door. He smiles, tilting his head towards the passenger side door as he opens it for you. You climb in silently, his eyes watching your every move. "You okay?" "I love you."

EPILOGUE – JANUARY 7, 5:30AM.

"Do you have to go?" You'd already stayed four more days than you'd originally planned, and you were really cutting it close by driving back on a Sunday. Rosie's eyes are tired and pleading as you hold her on your hip, Chan struggling to shove the last bag into your trunk as you snicker. "We do, babycakes. But don't worry! I'll come home with Channie in April for your birthday! Isn't that fun?" "I guess." She pouts, resting her head on your shoulder. "Will you call me everyday?" "Yes, I'll call you everyday." You nuzzle your nose to hers as Chan huffs, slamming your trunk shut. "Babe, someday you're going to have to pack this car and you'll understand why I sleep on the way back to campus." He's red in the face as your mother ventures outside to retrieve your little sister, Mrs. Lee in tow with a bag full of goodies for the trip back to campus. You smile softly at your mother as she takes your now crying sister, your heart aching as you wipe her tears.

"Don't cry, Rosie. We'll be back soon, I promise." Chan nods, holding his pinky out for your little sister to take. She sobs into your mother's parka as she does so, and your mother gives you a warm smile. "You guys take care of each other, okay? No more breaking up!" "No more breaking up." You both repeat, your cheeks flushing as Mrs. Lee gives you both a hug goodbye. Your father appears, holding up two tumblers full of hot chocolate and Mr. Lee hands Chan an envelope. "Pocket money. Don't let Y/N starve on the way home, she told us you only fed her beef jerky." "I did not!" He begins to protest, but you clap your hand over his mouth with a wide smile. "Thank you, Mr. Lee. I appreciate you worrying about my appetite." The goodbyes are not nearly as sappy as they usually are, but you know it's because they're looking forward to graduation. It will approach fast, you know you'll lose yourself in the excitement of it all and best of all, Chan will be right there with you. You're in the car waving to Rosie until you turn the corner, before your shoulders sag against your seat. You pout, making Chan smile as he reaches to pinch your cheek.

"Rosie will be okay, baby." "I know, I know. I just wish I was around more to see her grow up. She won't think I'm as cool by the time I'm finally around to hang out and stuff." "Babe, she's seven this year. She's gonna think you're cool." He rolls his eyes as he stops at a red light, connecting his phone to the aux and handing it to you. You sigh, unlocking his phone to see a photo of you and Rosie at the Lego store on New Year's Day as his home screen, paired with the same sentimental baby picture that rested in your locket as his lock screen – that one never changed. You say nothing as your cheeks warm, opening his Spotify and pressing shuffle as he turns left to take the exit to get onto the expressway.

You both tense as you hear the beginning notes of Meddle About by Chase Atlantic. He gives you a sideways glance as the lyrics start pouring through, and you clear your throat quietly.

"There's an exit…up ahead. It leads–" "Into the woods, yeah. I'm just gonna–" "Yeah. Should I-" "Start taking your coat off, mhm." "Got it. Are you gonna–" "Yup. Didn't bring any condoms with me." Your cheeks flush as you queue the same stupid sex playlist you made three years ago as he silently takes the exit before the one for the expressway, tonguing his cheek as he drives into the still-dark solace of the woods. You have your shirt off by the time he finds the same spot you found three years ago, and by the time he kills the engine, you're in the backseat.

"Hey, Chan?" The opening notes of Kiss It Better by Rihanna fill the car as he all but rips his coat off.

"Yes, Y/N?" "I love you." He smiles, kissing you tenderly as he lays you down in your backseat.

"I love you, baby."

605 notes · View notes

skzdust · 2 months ago

Text

Chan's Throne

Kinktober Day 31: Free space

This is smut. MINORS DNI.

So I've done Kinktober very sporadically... but this is my fic for the free space day! Chan on a throne... ugh this picture had me so inspired. Huge thank you to @palindrome969 for the "king Chan" comment too hehehe, and for beta reading. Enjoy!

Summary: King Chan fucks you on his throne.

Pairing: King! Bang Chan x afab reader

Includes: riding, oral (m recieving), Minho appearance, "baby", "good girl"

Word count: 800

Taglist (Comment on a post/send an ask if you'd like to be added): @weirdowithaphone, @caught-in-the-afterglow, @palindrome969, @skzstan12345, @katsukis1wife,

@hyunjinsjeans, @somethingkindazainy, @silverstarburst

Network:@mirohs-aurora-society

Reblogs, likes, comments all appreciated!!!

Masterlist

-----

“Mm, yeah.” Chan sighed. “That’s it, baby.”

You closed your eyes, focusing on his cock, heavy on your tongue as you leaned against the bottom of his throne. You sucked on the head a little, and he moaned. “God, baby, so good.”

“Your Highness?” You breathed, pulling back a little and opening your eyes.

His hand gently ran through your hair. “Yeah?”

You leaned into the touch. “I wanna ride you.”

“Ride me?” Chan lifted his eyebrows. “On my throne?”

You nodded. “Yes.”

“Fuck.” He mumbled, his hand tugging gently on your hair. “Say please?”

You whined. “Please.”

He smiled. “You always beg so pretty. Yes, you can ride me, hard.”

“Thank you, your highness.” You lifted up your skirt, which Chan had specifically requested you not wear anything underneath, and climbed onto his lap, facing him.

His hand found its way behind your neck, his fingers rubbing little circles into your scalp. You closed your eyes, and he pulled your mouth to his.

The kiss was deep, and Chan quickly made it fiery, biting at your bottom lip with rough teeth. You opened your mouth to moan, and his tongue quickly found its way in, pushing at yours, pushing you.

At the same time, he reached under your skirt, running his hands along your thighs as you shuddered and whined before he pushed two fingers inside of you. You sighed, the penetration felt good, but you needed more.

You needed him.

He interpreted that sigh correctly, and pulled back with a low laugh. “Does my baby want my cock in that wet little hole?”

You nodded, putting on big eyes and biting your lip just a little bit. You didn’t want to overdo it. “Yes, your highness.”

“Good,” He murmured. “Good.” He took his fingers out, wiping them on your thigh, before resting both of his hands casually on the arms of the throne. “I told you you could ride me, I want to see you get to work.”

You swallowed, your whole body on fire. “Yes, your highness.”

You lined yourself up with him, and after a few tries, his unfairly large cock slid into you. It felt like it might push into your lungs as you seated yourself properly on his lap. You braced your hands on his shoulders and began to bounce up and down, fucking yourself on him, pushing the air out of you with every thrust.

“Perfect.” He mumbled. That, the slight blush on his cheeks, and the way his eyes hungrily surveyed your body were the only signs he was affected by your actions.

And that just made it hotter. It felt so dirty to be fucking on the throne, Chan’s throne, the seat from which he ruled the kingdom. Hell, it was still within his work day, this had just been the most convenient place to sneak away to after his meeting.

There was a loud knock, and you looked over your shoulder, your breath catching in your throat as the large door to the throne room swung open.

Chan grabbed your chin and pulled it towards him, although his eyes were on the door. “Eyes on me, baby.” Louder, he said, “Minho! What brings you in?”

Minho, Chan’s top advisor on matters of foreign relations, probably wouldn’t interrupt if it wasn’t important. You stopped moving and tried to look back again, but Chan’s grip on your chin tightened. “I didn’t say to stop.”

You slowly began to rock back and forth on his cock again as Minho started to explain something about another nation and a trade pact they were proposing.

“One moment, Minho.” Chan interrupted him. He pulled your head close to his, growling in your ear. “I said hard.”

You whined involuntarily and obeyed his order, going faster.

“Apologies, please go on.”

Minho kept going, and you kept going, the whole time drawing closer and closer to orgasm. “Please, your highness, Chan, can I cum?”

“No.” He said dismissively. “Go on, Minho.”

“I can come back later.” Minho said awkwardly.

“No. I want you to watch her lose it.”

You could hear the smirk in Minho’s voice. “I’m not about to complain at that offer.”

Chan muttered in your ear, “Would you like that, baby? For Minho to watch you edge yourself on my cock?”

You nodded, the thought almost enough to send you over the edge.

Almost.

You stopped moving right as you reached the edge of your climax.

“Good girl.” Chan praised. “Minho, tell her she’s a good girl.”

You heard Minho take a step on the polished floor. “Can I—”

“Go ahead.”

Minho gently pulled your face to look at him. You were teary from the lost orgasm, your face red and slightly sweaty.

“Beautiful.” Minho said, then looked to Chan. “Yeah, she’s a good girl. Let her cum this time.”

Chan smiled. “We’ll see.” He looked back at you. “Again, I didn’t say you could stop.”

#kinktober 2024 #mirohsaurorasociety #bang chan x reader #bang chan smut #stray kids #stray kids x reader #stray kids smut #bang chan #skz #skz x reader #skz smut #skzdust writes

377 notes · View notes

mayrose713 · 2 months ago

Text

Beautifully Cruel World-Chapter 13

Series Masterlist | Previous | Next

ABO Non-Idol Stray Kids Universe Poly OT8 x Reader 18+ MDNI

Warnings in the Series Masterlist as well as any other information needed

Haven't fully had the time to proofread this but I also didn't want to leave you guys waiting so I'm sorry for any mistakes

Chapter 13

Y/n sits in the passenger seat, gazing out the window at the scenery as Chan drives and Jeongin sits in the backseat.

“Have you really never been to the island before?” The youngest is sitting forward to talk to the two up front.

“Never.” She shakes her head not turning away from the window. “It’s so beautiful. And Binnie’s family owns a rental house out here?”

“Yup.” Chan glances over at her as he follows the car Changbin’s driving with Jisung and Seungmin, Minho following behind them with Felix and Hyunjin. “They usually let people rent it out when on vacation here and they always let us stay there when we’re needing a few days away from the city.”

“You’ll love it.” Jeongins is clearly excited. “The house isn’t as big as ours obviously so we normally share beds but we think it helps with the pack bonding and it strengthens our relationships. There’s a private beach on the property though. And it’s walking distance from a lot of little shops.”

“Which reminds me.” The older alpha places his hand on the girl's thigh making her finally turn to look at him. “While here we’re wanting to take you on some small dates as a proper courting.”

“Really?” She sits up in excitement. “That’ll be so fun.”

“We discussed it and decided it would be best to have two of us taking you each time.” He explains, looking back at the youngest alpha in the mirror who’s been really giddy the whole drive so far. “Because of the rules we have in place for you, Jisung and Felix, they can’t take you by themselves.”

“So each date will be with one alpha and one beta.” Jeongin finishes. “We’ve decided it’ll be Chan and Seungmin, Minho and Hyunjin, Changbin and Jisung, then me and Felix.”

“Sounds good, I’m excited.” She smiles at both alphas lovingly. “How are the rules for the three of us going to be here? Are we allowed to be with just one of the betas?”

“Walking around the shops near the house, yes you can. It’s not even a five minute walk from the house so we don’t mind Hyunjin and Seungmin taking you guys there.” He tells her. “But driving anywhere you three will need an alpha.”

“Got it.” Y/n nods her head as they drive closer to the ocean into a neighborhood and see’s Changbin pull into the driveway of a house. “Is this it?”

“Yup.”

As soon as Chan parks she’s out of the car and rushing up to Changbin who’s unlocking the door as everyone else is getting bags.

“She seems to be getting more comfortable.” Jeongin points out. “She even slept in Minho’s bed last night with him and Jisung.”

“Really?” Chan looks at the youngest a bit surprised.

“Yeah.” He nods with a smirk. “Saw her walking back to her room this morning wearing nothing but Min’s shirt.”

Chan watches as Changbin lets the omega into the house with a smile. “That’s really good, I’m glad.”

They get out of the car to grab the bags from the trunk of their car.

“Bin, this place is beautiful.” Y/n gawks at the house.

“Wait until you see the view from the back porch.” He smirks at her as her eyes widen and rushes to the back door.

“Oh my god, Binnie.” She squeals, causing him to laugh as he moves to join her. “Is that the private beach Innie was telling me about?”

“It is.” He places a hand on her back. “It’s all ours while we’re here. It’s blocked off from the rest of the beach so no one can get to it except for the path leading from the porch.”

“Meaning you’re allowed to go down there by yourself if you’re wanting to.” Minho speaks as everyone comes in carrying bags.

“Thanks for the help, Bin.” Seungmin says sarcastically, shoving the alpha’s bag into his arms.

Y/n immediately goes to take her bag from Chan but he pulls it away from her. “I’ve got it.”

“Chan.” The omega pouts but he just smiles, grabbing her hand.

“Let me show you to your room.”

“My room?” She looks at him confused.

“There’s five rooms in the house.” Changbin steps in to explain. “The eight of us all share four of the rooms and the last room is for you, pretty girl.”

“That way you have a place for yourself if you’re needing some alone time and somewhere you can change.” Chan finishes as he leads her down the hallway.

“Oh.” She sighs, the others following to place their bags in the other rooms. “Who’s sharing with who for the other rooms?”

“We don’t have set room assignments.” Felix shrugs. “It usually changes each night depending on who ends up cuddling with who and things like that.”

“This is your room baby girl.” Chan walks into one and places Y/n’s bag on the bed as she looks around.

It’s simple, a queen sized bed, a small dresser and closet. Nothing much as it is meant for just a short stay.

“Felix and I are heading to the store to get groceries.” Minho pops his head in the doorway. “Is there anything you guys are specifically wanting while we’re here?”

“You know I’m always good with whatever you make us, baby.” Chan smiles.

“Kitten?”

“Ummm… I don’t know.” The omega shrugs her shoulders, still unsure about foods.

“Well if you think of anything just text one of us.” The younger alpha gives her a small smile hoping one day she’ll have an actual answer.

“Be safe.” Chan tells him as he follows Minho out letting Y/n get settled in.

⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾ ⋆⁺₊⋆

“You okay?” Felix leans over the back of the couch where Y/n has been sitting looking through a few books that were on the bookshelf.

“Yeah.” She leans back to look up at him but he frowns at how her mood had seemed to shift from when they first got to the house.

“The sun’s setting. I was thinking of heading down to the beach to watch it.” He tilts his head. “Join me?”

Y/n looks over at the kitchen seeing that Minho is just starting dinner and had heard him tell the other omega that he wasn’t going to need much help with it as it was easy, just took awhile to cook.

“Sure.”

“Let’s go.” He grabs her hand, dragging her to the back door. “Min, we’re gonna go sit down at the beach to watch the sunset.”

“Okay, I’ll have someone come get you guys when dinners almost ready.”

Felix doesn’t let go of the younger omega’s hand until they are down at the beach and he sits down leaning back on his hands. “Man, I've missed the ocean.”

“Which do you like better?” Y/n sits down next to him. “The beaches here or in Australia?”

“Australia.” He says without a second thought. “I loved spending time in the water as a kid, was a swimmer and loved surfing.”

“How often would you go to the beach?”

“At least three or four times a week.” He smiles and looks at her. “What about you? Do you like beaches and the water?”

“I love how pretty beaches are.” She looks out at the ocean. “But I was never really taught how to swim so I’m not the greatest. I don’t usually like to go very deep into it. Even in pools, I don’t go anywhere my feet can't touch flat.”

“What if we held you? Would you go in deeper?”

“Mmmm, maybe.” She shrugs and looks at him loving how beautiful he looks with the sunset. “It’d just depends on how comfortable I am, I guess.”

“Well, let's try it.” Felix stands up and pulls his shirt off, shocking her.

“Right now? But I don’t have a swimsuit.” She blushes as he starts to unbutton his pants.

“It’s called skinny dipping.” He smirks. “Chan and I used to do it all the time back home.”

“Wha…” She gasps and turns away before she can even finish saying anything as he pushes his pants and boxers down.

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to, but I’m going in.” She hears him run down and there's some splashing before it’s quiet when she finally looks up.

The omega is submerged up to his chest just loving the water before he turns back to her with a huge smile.

“You’re crazy!” She yells out to him.

“It’s a private beach sunshine.” He calls back. “The only ones who will see you are me and anyone else in the pack if they come down.”

“I don’t know.”

“The water feels great, you’re missing out.” He then dunks his head underwater to swim around a bit.

Y/n watches him keep doing that, no longer paying attention to her and she decides to give in. She strips her dress and underwear off and walks into the water as Felix goes under again. The water’s a bit cooler than she was expecting, shocking her at first but she fights through and moves towards where Felix had last been.

He comes back up taking in a deep breath and wipes the water from his face pushing his hair back when he realizes she came in and is now deep enough for the water to be at her collar bones. He swims over to her until he’s able to stand again and smiles as he grabs her hand.

“I promise I won’t let you drown.” Felix starts to walk backwards pulling her deeper in until she would be standing on her toes in the water which is when she stops. “Want me to carry you?”

Y/n nods, a bit embarrassed as they are both naked but lets him pull her closer, bringing her legs up to wrap around his waist and wraps her arms around his shoulders. It causes her to come up out of the water a bit and she pushes herself against Felix to cover everything. He keeps his hand on her thighs to keep her secure against him as he goes in a bit deeper making sure the water covers her but the waves aren’t splashing in her face either.

“We’re far out.” She mumbles looking back at the shore seeing they’re several yards out.

“Here would probably be a good distance to teach you to swim better.” He lets go of one of her thighs to push some hair behind her ear. “You won't really be able to touch but I still can.”

“I think I’m good with you just carrying me today.” She clings to him tighter. “Maybe when we have the beach day and everyone is here we can try?”

“Whatever you want, sunshine.”

Y/n notices that even though Felix is the most omega-like beta she’s ever met he still will play the beta roll when needed. Like right now with carrying her, and she can’t help but to fall in love with him. He’s been the sweetest and loving to her. Not that the others haven't been but just the way he does it is different.

“Your scent just sweetened a lot, what are you thinking about?” He looks down at her.

“Nothing.” She mumbles, looking away but she’s now very aware of his hard-on that has slowly made itself known since he wrapped her legs around his waist.

“Nothing?” He teases. “How can your scent sweeten so much by thinking about nothing?”

She looks up at him for a moment contemplating what to say before looking down at his neck at the seven claim bites wanting to add the eighth.

“When do you think Min will be done with dinner?” She whispers.

He thinks about it for a moment. “We probably still have a good bit. Why? Are you waiting to head back in?”

“No.” She shakes her head then blushes. “But… it is really hard to be this close to you knowing we’re both… naked.”

Felix gets flustered and mumbles a sorry as he starts to walk back towards the beach, probably to a spot she can stand so he can put her down.

“I never said I wanted you to stop carrying me though.” She blushes harder, making him stop.

“Oh?” He was confused before it clicked in his brain. “Oh.”

He looks her over for a moment to make sure she was implying what he thought and after he was sure of it he leans in and kisses her hard. She gaps a little, shocked by his boldness but kisses back as he walks them closer to the shore never detaching his lips from hers. It isn’t until most of their upper bodies are out of the water that he starts to bend his knees and lower them into the water more and he sits down on the sand having her on top of him that he pulls away from the kiss.

“Are you sure about this?” He looks up at her as she adjusts herself to be straddling his waist, knees digging into the sand on either side of his hips.

“Please Lixie.” Y/n begs a little.

He moves his hand to her inner thigh until he reaches her mound finding that her slick is leaking out even in the water and he groans at how responsive she is for him without having done anything. He gets ready to prep her a bit more but she gently grabs his hard cock and shakes her head.

“I’m ready Lix, please.”

“Okay, baby.” His other hand reaches for the back of her neck and he kisses her once again. “Go ahead.”

He helps her line up with her core before she lowers herself down on him making them both moan, her head falling against his shoulder.

“Fuck Y/n, you’re so tight.” He groans, grabbing both of her hips.

After a moment she starts to grind against him and he uses his hold on her to help her bounce. She throws her head back as this angle is completely different from how it was with Chan.

“Felix.” She whimpers as he continues to help move her against him, he now thrusting up into her as well. “I don’t think I’m gonna last long.”

And he knows he won't either, both of them having been needy the whole time he was carrying her. “I know baby, I won't either with how you’re squeezing around me.”

The omega gasps loudly when he hits a certain spot in her making her see stars and he continues to thrust there knowing she’s so close. He grabs the back of her neck again pulling her to him and kisses her passionately, their moans being muffled by each other's lips.

Felix pulls away when he feels her walls clench around him and he dives into her neck, biting the other side from Chan's mark and she cums around him as he continues to thrust up into her to help her ride it out. A few more deep thrusts and he’s releasing inside her, biting even harder on her neck causing her to moan loudly.

Once his high is over he lets go of her neck and licks the blood away before looking up at her. “You did so good.”

“Can I bite you too?” She’s breathless as she keeps looking at the spot on his neck wanting to make the bites even on both sides.

“Go ahead.” He tilts his head and she leans down to his neck.

First she smells his gland loving his scent before looking at his neck and deciding on the perfect spot just below the third bite on the left side of his neck. She licks it before biting down, gaining a groan from him. She keeps her teeth buried in his neck for a few moments before finally releasing and looks at it in awe. She purrs at knowing she’s been claimed by two of her mates now and has gotten to claim them as well.

“God I love you Y/n.” He looks at her lovingly and kisses her lips again.

“Dinners ready.” A voice calls from the path leading to the house and they look to see it’s Hyunjin and he’s shocked when he notices their clothes on the beach and sees the position they’re in. “Did you go skinny dipping without me? How dare.”

The two omegas laugh at how dramatic he’s being and Felix moves to get up. “Let’s go before he strips and tries to join us.”

She lets him help her up. “Felix.” She stops him before he could walk away. “I love you too.”

He smiles at her and kisses her one more time before they walk back up to the beach, glad Hyunjin had already started walking back up the path towards the house.

______________________________________________________________

Let me know if you want to be added to the tag list for this series

Tag list: @pixie0627 @sinfulfic @estella-novella @mbioooo0000 @ms-flowergirl

@blindspot143 @ihrtlix @arishoriasims @fic-for-readers @motheraiya55

@hwangrfrnd @lxvxchxrlxttxbxrsx22-blog @juskz @borahae-reads @dreamerwasfound

@galaxy4489 @kayleefriedchicken @lostgirlinthewoodss @catkight @royal-shinigami

@notevenheretbh1 @passionandsuga @m00njinnie @sukss @n1nme4r

@blueberrydish @xxeiraxx @ionlyeverwantedtobeyourequal @aalexyuuuhm @kaleigh-2002

@btskzfav @hyunmikim

262 notes · View notes

ot8xbangchansgirlsblog · 2 months ago

Note

I've just been reading your A/B/O series and it's so so so good. I was wondering if you would accept an ot8 request where their omega gets in trouble with another pack and Straykids are really worried?

No worries if not x

𝕃𝕦𝕟𝕒 | ℙ𝕒𝕣𝕥 𝕠𝕟𝕖 | ℙ𝕒𝕣𝕥 𝕥𝕨𝕠 | ℙ𝕒𝕣𝕥 𝕥𝕙𝕣𝕖𝕖

Warning: Angst/mention of death/Blood/MPreg/MxM

A/B/O dynamics:

Omega (Han, Felix, Y/n)

Beta (Hyunjin, Seungmin, I.N)

Alpha (Chan, Changbin, Leeknow)

The series might traumatize you. I really hope you guys like it and enjoy it.

Summary: Request!

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

run

Her breathing burned her chest as sticks and stones dug into her skin. The branches from the big, tall trees ripped her skin apart as she tried to fight the demons chasing her.

It has been raining for hours, and the lack of clothes that wrapped around her body did not protect her from the cold air.

"Just leave me alone," she cried as her body was slowly giving up on her. The lack of water and food from the past week was now catching up to her as she felt her body shut down.

Her vision was clear. Thank God for Omegas having super sight and smell, but that wasn't helping her at all as she made it down the forest.

They already made her loose enough; the pain in between her legs and womb was evidence of just how much she had lost.

She was close. She was close.

She couldn't hear their footsteps anymore, and their scent was getting even lighter than before, but still she knew she had to keep going or else they would catch up to her and track her blood down.

It was like the thunder in the sky was now overcrowding her senses, as all she could do was fall to the ground. She was scared. Who wouldn't be, but the sound made it 10x worse.

She was close. She was close.

The familiarity of her surroundings made her crawl. If she could just get to the village. If she could just get someone's attention, it would help save her life but even her body couldn't allow this. Her screams, obviously useless as she fell back to the ground.

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

When Chan felt his heart tighten he decided to ignore it knowing there was no way possible for her to be able to get through the bond. He just knew he was probably being paranoid and his brain was playing with his feelings.

"Where you going, Hyung?" Felix asked, looking at his pack alpha.

"I'm going to patrol the area; I feel something wrong," Chan simply replied, removing his shirt.

"I'll come with you," Felix replied quickly, getting up. He knew Chan had a lot on his mind, and he simply didn't think if he went out there he would be safe at all.

"No," he snapped. "I'm not losing another omega to those rogues," he growled. Felix instinctively took a step back with wide eyes. His sweet lemon scent turning sour, "Fuck, I'm sorry, Lix, for snapping. I just can't put you in harm's way," he quickly pulled him into a hug, making sure to scent him and calm him down.

"It's okay, baby." He knew Chan didn't mean it; it was just that the week had been so tough on all of them, especially him. "Hyung, you now think it's too dangerous to be out there alone,'

"Fine, I'll take Leeknow and Changbin." He gaveup. His eyes met Felix's, and his alpha couldn't help but feel like a failure. All his omegas had been in pain ever since Y/N's disappearance, and he couldn't help but wonder if there was any God out there to help put out the fire.

"You know none of us blame you, Chan," Felix's hand lays onto his cheek while softly carressing it. "She'll come back to us, I promise." He whispered, putting their forheads together.

"I can't talk about this anymore; I'll see you in a bit." He looked away, shutting his eyes as he held back the tears. His hands slowly land on Felix's 5-month-old baby bump before kissing it and making his way out the door.

Felix couldn't help but let a few tears run down his cheek. He wished the alphas could understand that they had no fault in this but he only knew they would be better if she came home.

Once Chan stood outside, he let out a loud howl, and a few minutes later, Leeknow and Changbin ran down the stairs, passing Felix and running away in the night.

By the time they catch up to Bangchan, he's already shifed. His black fur shone in the nighttime moonlight.

Wait up, love. Minho called out through the bond as he tried to catch up.

Where are we going? Changbin asked, panting.

Someone's here; I need you to patrol the territory line, Chan responded with a growl.

Minho and Changbin didn't want to argue with their pack leader. He had been paranoid for the past week, and they couldn't blame him. They had taken something that was his right in front of him. They would be ashamed to watch that happen again, so they didn't complain, thinking that maybe it would also make them feel better if they checked things out.

I'll take the east side, Changbin said before taking off in the cold night.

I'll do west Leeknow replied before nudging at Chan with his snout. Everything will be okay, was the last thing he said before taking off in the night.

Chan growled. Nothing was okay. Not until everyone was back in one piece. Be safe; use the bond if you see anything, he told them before heading south.

The village was still awake, and Chan knew that some kids would be out playing, so he wasn't shocked when he saw a bunch of kids playing near the territory line but he was very angry. Anyone in the pack knew that kids weren't allowed this out in the woods, but yet it seemed like they didn't want to listen.

"Channie-Oppa!" One of the youngest screech for him. He instantly picks up on her, scared. His alpha instincts kick in hoping none of the kids are hurt.

"Channie oppa quickly! You have to see this," another girl screeched; she was one of the oldest. Chan made sure to know everyone in his 65-person pack; it was his duty.

His steps were quick as he made his way to the children. They were circling around something, and he let out a growl. They all quickly take steps away, knowing their pack alpha was just being protective over them.

What happened, little ones? He said through the bond to communicate with them.

"Its luna-ssi! We were going hunting and we found her. We can't carry her, and mom said she was getting help."

Did they just say Luna? as in Y/n? He's heart skips a beat before he instantly shifts back to his human form and makes his way into the middle. There she lay. There she lay. His luna, his girl, his mate that was taken from him. She was here, and she was back, but she was in horrible conditions.

His hands gripped at her body, the blood soaking into his skin as he let out a painful howl for.

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

When Minho and Changbin had heard the howl, they knew something terrible had happened. They couldn't even get through the bond, yet they felt all the overwhelming emotions.

What happened, Hyung? Leeknow urged but got no response.

Talk to us, im almost to you, what is it? Changbin begged as well.

y-y/n, Chan let out a cry that almost knocked out I.N., who was at home trying to calm the situation down.

Changbin had never thought he would run this fast in his life; nobody knew, but here they were beating time.

It's only a 5-minute run before their right by his side. When they shift, their eyes are glowing. Anger and hurt is all they feel.

"Get the kids away; they can't see this," Chan instructs his second in command, who is instantly on it.

Leeknow leads the children, who are all worried and crying for their Luna. Who would do such a thing to her? Was this why she left a few days ago?

"Will she be okay?" They cry to him as he holds them tight.

"Yes, hush now. Go on home. It's late," He encourages as he walks with them.

"Chan, we need to get her to Hyunjin, now." Changbin was straight to work. Trying to gather his pack alpha off the floor. Chan studied her face as he carried her.

"Come on, y/n, come to me," he cried. His hands gripping onto her as if it would give her a sense of comfort.

"Fuck Changbin," he cried again. His eyes studying her body. Her bump was gone.

She lost the baby.

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

Taglist: @ihrtlix@bowsnbang@katsukis1wife@thegingerthatwaited@thicccurls

@xxeiraxx @paleangelsweets @klaydohart @eastleighsblog @ivrespace

@galaxy4489 @purplepursepaint @catlove83 @sillystormsstuff @iwuberic

@cocofia143 @royal-shinigami @virluna148 @galaxycatdrawz @memersanonymous

@skz-stay13 @seungminsbest @hogwartslife64 @sinfulfic @hyunnesblog

@maisyyyyyy @cluelessred3 @leezanetheofficial @cocofia143 @lemonn015

@kkamismom12 @mei0packet @igetcarriedawaywithyou @hyuneyeon @iris-iiridescent

@mbioooo0000 @newbbystay @hanniemylovelyquokka @jc003 @kokinu09

@aalexyuuuhm @kenaicantcommunicate @fiestaplum-skz

(open: i believe i've added everyone but if you don't see your @ please comment down below)

233 notes · View notes

jehhskz · 10 days ago

Text

Love Again

she fell first, and she fell harder

summary: you just got back to Seoul, and hopefully you'll get back into his heart too

genre: romance, fluffy cliche, second chances, smut

warning: this fic contains smut, so it was made for adults only, MDNI.

jé's note: did a little something super self indulgent, if you read this, please be kind, it's my first time and english isn't my first language. huge thank you for my girlies for all the support, special thanks to @doitforbangchan & @jeonginsleftcheek for beta reading it, your words made me happy. and it got a little big, so i had to split it into 2, the link for part 2 will be at the end of part 1

divider by @saradika-graphics

Drinks in hand, crowded dance floor and Chk Chk Boom's full volume, up next was Get Lit, and everybody screamed, you cheered with your best friend clinking glasses and sitting down.

“What are we celebrating?” A random glass clinked with yours and you looked to the side, a tall and really pretty guy smirked at you two.

“Her promotion and return to Seoul!” Heyoon exclaimed excitedly and the boy chuckled, sitting down next to her.

“Oh really? That 's amazing!” He nodded to you and you grinned, thanking him.

“I am Tae-joon” He smiled at you two.

“Heyoon, and this is Y/N” Your best friend presented you both, you glanced at her and smirked, she had that look in her eyes.

It didn't take much talk for you to realize you were third wheeling, so you excused yourself saying you were going to the restroom.

Once there, you fixed your makeup, applied some more lipstick and decided to walk around. The place was crowded, it felt like Felix invited all of Seoul to be here.

You spotted the birthday boys, Felix dancing, Han and Seungmin talking with some friends, soon enough Chan and Minho showing up with some drinks to join them, Jeongin flirting with a girl, Heyoon making out with Tae-joon and Changbin dancing with a girl nearby.

7 out of 8, you freezed on your heels, it was your 4th time walking around, if he wasn’t here he must be…

No, no, you shook those thoughts out of your head, and even if he was sucking faces or whatever the hell could be happening behind some of those closed doors here, it was none of your business, right? It stopped being your business a while ago, 2 years to be exactly.

But it’s not like you were counting, anyway.

You went to sit on the couch across Heyoon, Jeongin now was kissing the redhead he was talking to early. Too distracted watching people, you didn't perceive the boy who sat by your side.

“Guess I lost my friend” He commented when he saw Heyoon waving at you before she and Tae-joon walked away.

“Uh?” You looked at him with curiosity, and he motioned to Tae-joon.

“Oh yeah, so did I” You slightly smiled, shrugging. You chatted for a while, you learned his name was Min Kyu, he was a software engineer, and also had the cutest dimples when he smiled.

He asked if you wanted to dance and his dimples appeared when you said yes, so he grabbed your hand and you two headed to the crowded dance floor. As you two swang to the beat you could feel him getting closer and his hands making its way to your waist.

Yours found their way to his shoulders, you were having fun slowly approaching each other and you could lie to yourself saying you were taking glances around to check if Heyoon was around, but this excuse failed as soon as your heart skipped a beat.

There, leaning against the wall, looking so effortlessly handsome in his black jacket, up a white shirt and a pair of dark jeans: 8/8 you checked off your list.

He was alone? That was too good to be true.

And it really was, because it didn't take long until Changbin appeared along with 2 girls with the tiniest skirts you've ever seen.

He stared at you, his gaze was unreadable and all you wanted was to dig a hole on the floor right there and jump in.

“Are you alright?” Min Kyu leaned down, you could see Hyunjin's eyes still glued on you as he spoke with one of the girls, unbothered by her hand touching his arm.

“Yeah, just a little thirsty” You looked away from him and faced Min Kyu, his eyebrows furrowed as he looked down at you with concern, his hands were still resting on your waist.

“Oh, wait here. I'll get us something to drink” He smiled and you nodded, watching him go away.

You did your best to avoid looking in Hyunjin's direction, but curiosity kept taking the best of you and you had to take some glances, the girl was still there, the four of them now laughing at something Hyunjin said and you rolled your eyes. What could be so funny?

He looked at you while he talked, he had that grin. Damn.

“Here's it, I saw you weren’t drinking beer so I brought you this instead ” Min Kyu's voice brought you back to reality and you turned to look at him, he handed you a lemon drink and you smiled as your fingers briefly brushed as you took the glass from his hand, taking a little sip and thanking him.

“Hmm, it's too loud in here, why don't we go talk outside?” You suggested, he smiled at you and then you realized the implication on your request, as you both made your way out.

Too bad you were leaving, you didn't see Hyunjin's grin fading away.

~ {♡} ~

Min Kyu guided you outside, it was nice there. Some couples were kissing on the benches while a few other people were just talking and smoking, you chuckled, comparing the contrast with the agitation from inside although you could still listen to the music coming from there.

You two sat down at a secluded bench, talking and enjoying your drinks, you smiled and nodded at his words, deep down wishing he wouldn’t ask you anything that required an actual reply. Yeah your body was outside, but your mind was away, lost in the different scenarios that could be happening inside there.

But luckily you didn't have to worry about appearing to be rude to Min Kyu as words weren't necessary at that moment, you realized that as you watched him closing the distance between you.

He was going to kiss you and you'd like it, of course you would.

He was cute, he was being nice, and most important: he wasn't there talking to mini skirts bitches and letting them rub him as if he was some kind of genie in a bottle ready to grant their dirty wishes.

The gentle touch of his hand putting a strand of your hair behind your ear brought you back to reality, you looked at him and his cute dimples as he smiled leaning closer, you closed your eyes, his lips barely inches from yours.

Focus on him, y/n. It was happening!

Oh, sorireul jireuneun naega oh…

You two jumped at the loud intro of Thunderous.

Min Kyu is a Stay? Really?

Another check on your list: his cologne smelled good plus he had good taste in music. Although listening to your ex's song when you were about to kiss someone new feels a little weird, you had to admit.

His trembling hand reached for his phone inside his pocket, he rolled his eyes at the name on screen.

“Ji-an, what's up?” He looked annoyed as he heard her speaking on the other side.

“You did what?” He closed his eyes and ran his hand through his hair, he was annoyed.

“No, you're not. Say your friends goodbye, I’m going there, you're still grounded, did you forget that?” His voice was hard as he spoke his last words and ended the call.

He turned to you, offering a shy smile.

“I'm sorry, my sister is grounded and our parents are out of town, she thought it meant a free pass to her to get some friends over” He looked disappointed, and so did you, but you gave him an understanding smile.

“It's alright” You gently squeezed his hand.

“I'm sorry, maybe we can meet up another time? I'd love to see you again” He handed his phone to you and you added your number on the device before giving it back to him.

“I'd love that” You smiled as he gave you a kiss on the cheek before leaving. You watched him go and sighed, deciding to go back inside, maybe you could meet some friend there and distract your mind.

Hyunjin knew you'd be there, Felix had told him about you moving back, and it would be a lie to say he wasn't eager to see you.

You looked pretty in your crimson dress with matching crimson soft lips that he still remembered how they felt on his own. He sighed, you looked prettier than he remembered.

He haven't seen you during those years, all he knew from you was little snippets he overheard here and there from the boys and mutual friends. There was a boy, back in Busan, he rolled his eyes, of course there was, but it’s over now, he assumed as he watched you and Min Kyu so closely.

Hyunjin was annoyed, he wanted to go there and ruin whatever Min Kyu’s plans were, and he was about to do it, when he was interrupted by Changbin and his friends. He sighed, he wasn't in the mood today.

Your annoyed stare caught his attention and he smirked, maybe he was in the mood today. He saw your struggle to look away, your hands clenching as the girl touched his arm, he grinned, he was having fun, until he watched you two leaving.

Getting rid of them wasn't easy, but when he was heading outside Min Kyu passed him by, and he was in a hurry and alone.

Hm, interesting, Hyunjin thought.

As you were crossing the door you were surprised by a collision. Your drink spilled on your dress and on the floor.

“Oh shit! Don't you look where you're going?” You were looking down, checking your dress. “It will stain” a well known chuckle made you lift your head.

“Look who's back” He crossed his arms, smirking at you.

“Hyunjin…” Your eyes widened as you glanced at him, your breathing getting caught on your throat.

“Aren't you going to present me to your boyfriend?” He looked around, before grinning at you and you looked down.

“He's not my… damn, it's staining!” His gaze followed your desperate hand on the wet spot on the dress.

He rolled his eyes and grabbed you by your wrist, pulling you inside making you follow him to the restroom.

He opened the door and you two got in, after closing it behind him, he quickly kneeled down in front of you, making you gasp.

“What are you doing?” You asked with gritted teeth.

“Cleaning up your mess, what else do you think I am doing?” He grabbed some tissues and started dabbing it on the fabric, his free hand holding your leg.

He suddenly looked up at you, grinning. “Ohh you thought I was about to…”

You trembled slightly, looking up to the ceiling and wishing he didn't notice, but he did, his grin getting wilder.

“You really did, y/n you naugh…” His eyes sparked with mischief.

“Stop it!” You hissed and he chuckled, you grabbed the tissue from his hand and started dabbing the almost gone stain.

“You stop it!” He pushed your hand away and grabbed the tissue back, going back to his previous task, the grip on your thigh got slightly harder.

“Are you done?” A few moments passed when you asked, looking down, the stain was gone, thank God.

“Almost…” You watched as he dragged the tissue to your thigh, cleaning the tiny drops there.

His lips were parted and he was taking his time as he cleaned the nonexistent drops. Your heart wanted to believe he was using a silly excuse to touch you, as you felt his fingertips brushing against your skin every so often, but your brain was telling you he was just into autopilot, cleaning up the mess he did, and for all you know it could be the alcohol playing too.

You two were startled as the door opened suddenly, looking to the side you saw a very drunk girl step in. She looked from you to Hyunjin who was still kneeling in front of you, with his hands on your thighs and she giggled.

“Opss, am I interrupting something?”

“No, nothing. I’m already leaving” You saw the way she was looking at him after your reply, and didn't think twice before you act as you wrapped your fingers around his wrist and pulled him to stand up. “Actually, we are leaving!”

The drunk girl waved him goodbye and signed a “call me” as you dragged him out with you, Hyunjin laughed and you realized you were still holding him and dragging him to wherever. You let go of his hand, cheeks getting warm.

“You're still jealous of me” His tone was cocky as he stopped by your side, lifting his chin.

“You wish!” You did your best to look unbothered, crossing your arms and looking away.

“You're. You almost made me fall on face just to get me away from that girl”

“Well, if you wanna talk to her so badly, go after her then” You said nonchalantly, but deep inside you were burning, and not in a good way.

“Awn, I forgot how cute you get when you're jealous” He squeezed your cheeks, laughing.

“Stop that!” You slapped his hands and he laughed more. “I already said I'm not”

“Admit it. You die for me” You stared at him and it wasn't a good idea, because when he said that, he licked his lips as he nodded.

God, you were not the strongest soldier.

“Y/N and Hyunjin!” A drunk Felix appeared, he threw an arm over each of your shoulders, bringing you close. “Two of my favorite people!”

“C'mon, we are about to go play spin the bottle” He started dragging you two with him, but you stopped.

“Lixie, no, I can't play, I was just about to leave and…”

“She's looking for her boyfriend” Hyunjin said and Felix's lips turned down.

“I already said he's not my boyfriend!” You snapped at him.

“Perfect, so you can play” Felix clapped, grinning again and you shook your head no.

“Just a few rounds, please. You can't say no to the birthday person, it's the rule” Felix insisted as he held both of yours hands.

“Your birthday's only sunday” You scoffed.

“Well, but it's my birthday and I would like to see you play” Jisung suddenly appeared behind you, you jolted and it made Hyunjin and Felix chuckle.

“Yeah, he's right, now come with us” Felix held you by your shoulders before you could try to protest some more and guided you to where the group was.

You were nervous as you sat down on the floor and took a look around, the boys were all here, along with some of their friends, Yuna, Chaeryeong, Nabi and some other girls you didn't know yet.

Quickly glancing at him, your heart sank when Hyunjin sat down beside you. The way those girls looked at him made your stomach twist and you wanted to get up and leave, not wanting to watch him kissing randoms.

Felix gently squeezed your hand when you shifted on your seat, probably sensing what you were trying to do. You sighed, staying in place, he smirked, tapping your hand.

Some rounds went down and it wasn't getting any easier on your anxiety, but at least Hyunjin hasn't kissed anyone yet.

Yet… The look on those girls' eyes when it was their turn made your stomach twist each time.

He took glances at you every time the bottle stopped, noticing your sigh of relief, and he couldn’t help but smirk to himself, you've never been good at concealing anything, especially your feelings for him and he finds it adorable.

But if we were being honest, he felt relief too when the bottle didn't stop at you.

It was Chaeryeong’s turn and judging by the way everybody screamed when the bottle stopped at Changbin and their heated makeout, you realized you had a lot to catch up on in your friends lives.

Being there for a good while now, you were ready to get up and leave, when Seungmin screamed it was your turn now and you dead stared at him, a smirk crossing the menace's face.

Everybody's eyes were on you as your shaking hand grabbed the bottle and you held your breath as it spinned and spinned.

Until it lost speed and stopped at Jisung…

And then at Hyunjin. You looked up and saw Changbin's mischievous smile. It happened too quickly and it seemed like everybody was too drunk to notice when he nudged the bottle with his foot.

Everybody cheered, well, almost everybody, you didn't see it but those girls staring at him early had pouts on their mouths, one of them - mini skirt from earlier - tried to protest but Minho quickly covered her mouth with his hand.

You turned to face him, his piercing eyes already staring at you. You were glad the music was loud, otherwise everyone would be able to hear your heart beating like drums and you looked down.

Stereo Love came on and you rolled your eyes, it's the same song that was playing when he kissed you for the first time, ironically at this same club, only difference you didn't have expectators.

Isn't it funny how life always found ways to mess up with you?

Hyunjin touched your chin with his slender finger, lifting your face as he leaned closer, his piercing eyes going from your eyes to your lips. You closed yours and then you felt his breath against your face, mingling with your own, his plump lips brushing against yours lightly.

Feeling your lips being pressed against his own, your lips connected, his tongue slowly running on your bottom lip and you parted them giving him entrance. Your hands wrapped around his neck, going up to play with his hair as his hands snaked around your waist and then he swiftly placed you on his lap, making you softly moan against his lips in surprise.

He smirked, realizing how much he missed your little sounds. One hand went on your hair, his fingers entangling on the strands and angling your head to deepen the kiss. Somebody whistled, but you didn't even notice. The only thing you noticed was the groan that escaped his throat when your nails slightly scratched the back of his neck, earning a bite on your bottom lip as response, and now the sounds were escaping from your lips again.

Your mind was foggy as you felt his soft lips on yours.

Oh how much you missed his kisses, the taste of his lips, his scent… And from the way he was kissing you, it seemed like he missed it too.

The kiss was hungry, as your tongues explored each other’s mouths, his grip on your hips getting harder as you pulled his hair.

It happened in a blur, in a moment you were playing a silly game, sitting on his lap, devouring each other and on the other your back was pressed against the wall, you two hidden in a corner of the club, your soft moans mixing with the music as he had his leg in between yours, one hand in your hips pulling you closer to him, pressing your bodies together and the volume on his pants was making you dizzy.

You whined in protest when his lips left yours, chasing them again and he chuckled, giving you a peck before making a trail of kisses from your jaw to your neck, finding that spot under your ear that makes you shiver.

“I knew it, you still like me…” He smirked against your skin as he whispered in your ear.

God, he was so cocky… And you found it so fucking hot!

You rolled your eyes and instead of lying you decided to shut him up by grabbing his face and kissing him again. He was taken back by your sudden attitude, but was quick to kiss you back even more intensively.

Hyunjin loved it when you got bold like this, your hand went to his shoulder, sliding down his chest and to the south. He moaned in anticipation.

Your fingertips brushed the outline of his bulge when the annoying buzz of your phone snapped you back to reality. You jolted, withdrawing your hand and he whined, trying to grab your wrist to put your hand back in, but you were already picking your phone.

“Ignore it” His voice was muffled as he peppered kisses and nibbles at your neck.

“I can't, it's Heyoon” You read her text telling you to go meet her at the entrance.

“Always the cockblock” He sighed, making you laugh, remembering how it was always her, the one interrupting you two.

“I've gotta leave” There was a hint of disappointment in your voice.

“You know, I could take you home later” His offer made your heart skip a beat, you glanced back at him.

“C'mon, I know you want that ride” And there it was, the devilish grin again while he pulled you by your waist. Your breath hitched.

~ {♡} ~

You clutched your staff ID badge as if you were holding a golden ticket, looking around you realized not much has changed since the last time you were here.

The feeling was good, familiar even, as you walked down the reception of the company, staff and trainees were passing you by in a hurry and as you looked at those hopeful faces couldn’t help but wonder if one of those people belonged to the group you would be assigned for.

The email didn't say much, actually it was only a notification that you got selected and was about to start in the following month, more details would soon be explained when you started, but as for now you knew you'd be part of a staff team.

The adorned walls with posters of JYP’s biggest groups caught your attention, you stopped in front of the Stray Kids one and smiled, memories passing in front of you, their singing practices, their playful banters in their dorm, their burst of laughter filling every room they were in…

Until your eyes landed on Hyunjin, and the sound of laughter gave space for the silence and the distance and then the tears, your heart shrinked and you remembered last saturday, his gaze, his plump lips, his grip… Your heart just shrinked some more.

“Y/n?” You turned around and saw a tall man standing behind you. Nodding at him, he introduced himself.

“Nice to meet you Joo-wan” You smiled at him.

“Nice to meet you too, y/n. You'll be working with me on the staff team” Joo-wan shook your hand “C'mon, I'll show you around before taking you to meet the group” His smile was warm as he motioned for you to follow him for a little tour of the company.

As you walked around he introduced you to some other staff members, shared some curiosities about the company, guidelines, your responsibilities, all that stuff. You read the sign up when you reach the last door: dance practice, Joo-wan stopped with his hand on the knob, turning to you and saying the last but maybe more important rule of here: do not date the idols.

Then he opened the door and walked in with you. The boys were chatting, sitting on the floor and some others on the couch while they were taking a break from practicing.

They all turned their heads to your direction.

“Boys, come on here I want you to meet someone!” They stopped talking and looked at you, a huge smile appearing on their faces. Well, some faces, there was an expression in particular that was quite difficult to read.

“Y/N!” They came to you, Felix and Han stopping at each side and hugging you together, making you laugh, the sunshine twins were really the sweetest.

“Hi boys” You hugged them back.

“Oh, so you already know each other?” Joo-wan looked surprised at you and them.

“I did my internship here like three years ago, and we met in the halls, I was working in another area at that time” You explained to him, the boys still attached to each side of you.

“Oh that's great y'all are familiar with each other because the group you'll be working with it's them” He smiled and your mouth fell agap, eyes widening.

“Really?” You were truly surprised, all this time you imagined you'd be assigned to a new group, one that didn't even debut yet. Working with an already successful group as big as SKZ can feel very intimidating.

Joo-wan and the boy chuckled seeing your surprise, his phone started ringing and he picked it out of his pocket.

“Oh, just give me a minute, I've got to pick this call” He excused himself and went out of the door with his phone in hand, the boys gathered around you.

“Welcome to the fam, y/n!” Felix hugged you tight.

“You're gonna have so much fun!” You heard Han's voice.

“Yeah, you're gonna love it!” Minho reached out and playfully ruffled up your hair and you let out a squeal, shifting away from him.

“Minhoo, stop it!” You whined, putting your hands on your hair.

“Yeah Minho, don’t do that!” Seungmin intervened, stepping closer to you and fixing your hair.

“Thank you, Minnie” You smiled at him and his lips turned up into a mischievous smile as he ruffled up what he just fixed seconds later, chuckling “Here's it, much better”

The boys all laughed at you as you wiggled away from him.

“You two stop or I'll ask to switch groups” You whined again and the boys laughed, watching you fix your hair.

“Just arrived and already leaving? Nuh nuh, we can't let you do that” Seungmin said shaking his head.

“Yeah baby, you signed the contract you're stuck with us now. No turning back” Changbin smirked and you rolled your eyes.

“It's like a marriage,” Said Jeongin cheekly.

“Through good and bad or whatever they say” Han chuckled when Felix completed Jeongin's phrase.

“What?” You playfully crossed your arms “I want divorce, then”

“Not gonna happen sweetheart, should have read between the lines: this is not a 7 day trial, there's no turning back now!” Minho mischievous said.

“Guess I'm stuck…” You shrugged looking up to the ceiling.

“Without a doubt” Changbin nodded.

“Y'all better behave then!” You crossed your arms, rolling your eyes.

“We…” Chan started, a mischievous spark on his eyes as he look at the boys “...will definitely not do that”

“I'm not even surprised at this point” You lifted your hands and rubbed your temples.

“C'mon, you love us” Han threw an arm over your shoulder, hugging you.

“Only on even days” You rolled your eyes and they all laughed.

“Y/n!” Joo-wan appeared at the door, “Come with me, I'll introduce you to the rest of the team”

“Okay” You turned back to the boys, quickly glancing at Hyunjin as you said “See you later then” They all waved you goodbye and watched you leave.

Hyunjin pretended to not see the smirk on Felix's lips as he elbowed him.

“Let's go back to practice” He said, already heading to turn the music back on.

~ {♡} ~

Your first day of work was good, spent most of your day following Joo-wan's steps, the team was amazing and very welcoming to you. From watching their interactions you learned Joo-wan's a good boss, he's hardworking and with a vision for results but also open to the others’ ideas which was nice, not like those “pushy” bosses you met previously in your past jobs.

Also, applying for the job on JYP, you weren’t delusional to think you wouldn't come across Hyunjin, it was bound to happen sooner or later and you were fine with it.

At least that's what you said to Heyoon when you showed her the job ad.

Did she believe in you? Of course not!

To be honest, deep down not even you believed in yourself. The day you got the email announcing you got the job you played a whole fanfic in your head about how you two would meet again in the halls and sparks would fly like a Taylor Swift song and ta-da, just a few days later you'd be texting Heyoon saying you're back together.

Then, Felix's birthday happened, you hadn't heard from Hyunjin the whole week after. Did he even have your number anymore? Because he didn’t ask for it saturday.

Did he even remember what happened? Judging by the way he looked at you today, he did.

“Stop it” You looked at Heyoon when she popped your bubble of thoughts.

“But I'm not doing anything” You whined, putting your hands down on your lap.

“Puff, you've got that look in your face” Heyoon rolled her eyes.

“What look?” Your eyes widened.

“That ‘Hyunjin’ look” You could feel your cheeks burning at the accusation, but tried to sound nonchalant anyway.

“What is that even supposed to mean?”

“You know exactly what it means” She grabbed your wrists and pulled your hands close, looking at them “and stop biting your nails, you're ruining the nail polish”

“Oh, I'll fix it” After seeing your teeth ripped off the tip of your nail polish you jumped out of the couch and went to your bathroom, coming back with the manicure basket and placing it on the coffee table. You picked the color you used previously.

“No, not this color, it's looking boring” She took the little basket from your hands and fished the crimson glass “Use this, much better” She shook it with a grin and put it in your hand.

“I don’t know Yoon, I think it’s a little too much for work, I usually use this one for when I’m going out” You looked at the glass uncertainty.

“Exactly! Perfect for our double date with Tae-joon and Min Kyu” She clapped and you looked at her confused.

“Uh, the text I sent you earlier? Tae wants to meet up tomorrow, and he said his friend asked about you, so…”

“Oh yeah, right. The coffee date” You vaguely remembered her text floating somewhere in the conversation you two were engaging earlier.

“I was expecting you’d be more excited? He's so cute and has dimples!” Your friend's reaction made you chuckle.

“He is, but don’t you think it's a little weird tho? I mean… Hyunjin's tongue was inside my mouth just minutes after he left”

“Yeah, but it was because of a silly game and it was just in your mouth because I interrupted because otherwise it would be inside your…” She teased.

“Bestie, shhh. Don't say it!” You felt your cheeks burning as you jumped and covered her mouth, muffling her laugh.

“And he left before it happened, he had no idea anyway. Plus… It's been like forever since you've been on a proper date, you could use a little distraction…” Heyoon playfully poked your side and you jumped. “Get some d…”

“Heyoon!” You exclaimed and she laughs more.

~ {♡} ~

Hyunjin saw you kneeling on the floor, your cheek against the glass of the vending machine while your arm was shoved inside, he chuckled at your visible struggle and decided to walk to you. He stopped just a few steps behind you and crossed his arms, you cursed under your breath, too annoyed at the machine to realize he was there.

You pulled your arm back and smacked the machine to make the can fall, your attempt was unsuccessful. You sighed.

“C'mon, I don’t have any more money left!” You cried out, smacking it again.

You heard chuckles and turned around, seeing Hyunjin stepping closer and you sighed.

“Breaking stuff on your first week? Hm, I don’t think Joo-wan will like to hear about that”

“What do you want?”

“I just finished practice, thought I'd grab something to drink, but now I can’t because you broke the machine”

“It was already broken when I arrived!” You complained, crossing your arms in front of your chest.

“Yeah, right” He smirked and placed a hand on your shoulder, slightly pushing you to the side.

You watched intently as he kneeled down in front of the machine and shoved his arm inside like you previously did, easily grabbing the Sprite that was stuck.

He stood up and gave it to you.

“Thanks” You murmured while taking it, your fingers brushing briefly.

He didn’t show any reaction, neither did you, but deep inside you shivered. Just like him.

You opened the can and took a sip, he watched as you leaned on the wall and grabbed your phone from your backpocket, absentmindedly scrolling.

“You're unbelievable” He scoffed, crossing his arms.

“Excuse me?” You looked up confused at him.

“One day, you're going all octopus on me, and the other you act as if I don’t exist” His tone gave away his annoyance and the way he rolled his eyes just confirmed it.

“What? You were the one getting all handsy!” You stopped mid way from drinking your soda, side eyeing him.

He smirked at you, grabbing the can off your hand and taking a long sip.

You gulped as you watched his adam's apple bobbing.

“What's so interesting for you to be ignoring me, anyways?” He grabbed your phone from your hand, looking at the screen with curiosity.

He saw you had your calendar open, various notes with work stuff related content written, as he was reading, a notification popped up and he rolled his eyes. It was a text from Min Kyu.

“Give it back!” You tried to grab your phone back, but he turned his back to you, his fingers quickly typing something.

“What are you doing? Give it back!” You tried to reach and pick the device from him again, but he wiggled from you and lifted his arm up, holding your phone above his head, laughing as you failed to reach.

“Oh y/n, you're not supposed to be on your phone during work hours, you know?” He shook your phone in front of you, pulling it back when you tried to pick it again.

“Last night was great, wanna meet up again Friday?” Hyunjin mocked, reading the words from Min Kyu's text to you. His gaze met yours as he continued, now reading what he replied as you “No, thanks!”

“Oh my God, stop it!” Your cheeks were burning from embarrassment, you smacked his chest and he feigned hurt, placing his hand where you hit him. You quickly grabbed your phone back, checking to see what he really did.

“You sent it” You looked back at him surprised, for a moment you thought he was just pretending to annoy you.

“Of course I did, I was even polite, so I don’t know why you are so bothered by it” He scoffed and continued, his voice low now, as he stared at your eyes “Plus… You will be busy with me, so it's not like you will be free anyways”

“With you?” Your heart skipped a beat and you truly hoped he didn’t notice the weakness in your voice or the spark that crossed your eyes.

“Yeah, we got some stuff from the tour to discuss, we got a meeting at the studio after we record some new songs” He shrugged, speaking nonchalantly, grinning when he saw your lips turning down in a disappointment you failed to conceal in time before getting caught.

“It's written on your calendar” His tone now was teasing as he approached you, and you mentally cursed yourself, looking down.

You felt his fingers touch your chin, lifting your face up to look at him, his gaze intense as it met your eyes.

“You thought it was just us?” Hyunjin grinned, he had a mischievous spark in his eyes as he teased you, his fingers still holding your chin.

“What? No, of course not!” You shook your head in denial and he chuckled.

“Cute” Your heart jumped as you watched him lean closer, whispering in a secretive way, as if somebody could hear your conversation, although there were only the two of you in the hall “Maybe we could…”

“Get lost!” He shouted and you jolted, heart almost escaping up your throat.

“What the hell?” Your hand flew to your chest, feeling your rapid heart beat. You were so entranced by him, that you didn’t see when he looked over you, spotting the heads peeking behind the wall meters away from you both.

“No, not you” He shook his head and pointed behind you “These two”

You turned around and all you saw was a fast glimpse of the brunette and blonde hairs as they pulled back inside.

Thanks to the sunshine twins, the mood was ruined now and you wouldn't sleep at night thinking about what Hyunjin was about to say.

Your cheeks were burning when you turned back to him and noticed Hyunjin was annoyed as he took another long sip of your soda, he jerked his head for you to look behind you again, there was Joo-wan coming with some papers in hand looking for you.

“Thanks for the soda!” Hyunjin quickly tapped your shoulder before leaving, lifting his hand and waving the can of Sprite before chugging it as he walked to the other direction.

“Hey, that’s mine!” You screamed at him, taking one step to follow him but being stopped on your track by Joo-wan's hand on your shoulder. You heard Hyunjin's laugh as he passed through the door.

“Y/n, great to see you here. I've got some things to discuss with you…” Joo-wan was agitated as he handed you the papers, speaking fast as he listed all the details you needed to take care of: contact with stylists, location for the promo photoshoots, confirm the special appearances on tv shows, just to say a few.

“...also show the ideas for the boys and see if they want to make any changes and all that” He glanced at you giving a thumbs up “Got it?”

“Yeah yeah, I will talk with them” You nodded, trying to make mental notes from everything he said to you.

“Don't worry, soon enough you will know all those things by heart” He chuckled, giving you a reassuring smile and flexing his arm “Fighting!”

“Fighting!” You repeated, flexing your arm too.

“Have you tried this? It says it's supposed to give you an energy boost, they have it in the cafeteria” Joo-wan showed you the little carton on his hand, it said high on caffeine on it and you chuckled, that’s why he was so energetic.

“Oh, I think I should go and try it then” You smiled politely at him as you excused yourself, there was a long day ahead.

~ {♡} ~

It was lunch time which meant the cafeteria was quite crowded when you made your way to the line and grabbed some food. As you walked around looking for a place to sit, a loud shout caught your attention, and you turned to the left to be greeted by the boys.

“Hey new girl, come sit with us!” Changbin shouted and you laughed, making your way to their table. You sat between Chan and Jeongin, Jisung was in front of you on the opposite side with Hyunjin by his side.

Enjoying your meals together, laughing and chatting with them felt good, just like the old good times you spent together in this same place. The cafeteria may have changed, but luckily your friendship remained the same.

You and Hyunjin weren’t talking, but the stolen glimpses of each other sure felt like that time too, those cute early stages when you would keep looking at him, trying to get his attention and praying he would ask you out.

“Hyunee” A girl appeared by his side and you automatically rolled your eyes and didn't see it but he noticed it and smirked. Oh, just like the old times, indeed.

“Hyun, you're meeting me up later to help me practice, right?” The girl had that tone, and it annoyed you even more.

“Yeah, sure” He might had sounded nonchalantly but he stared directly at you when he replied, clearly with the intention of annoying you.

“He can't help you today” You nonchalantly said, shrugging.

“Excuse me?” She raised an eyebrow looking at you in disbelief.

“He's busy with the group activities” You replied not even bothering looking at her, still eating your lunch.

“Mhm, maybe we could meet up…” She rolled her eyes at you and placed her hand on Hyunjin's arm.

It looked like a claw squeezing the flesh and your grip on the hashi got tighter.

“Beloved? I think you didn't hear me right, so I will say it again, he's very busy, which means he has no time, okay?” Your voice was sweet, calm even, such a contrast to how you were feeling inside when you saw she wouldn’t let go of his arm.

“Plus, Jyp didn't contract dance instructors for trainees to bother idols like this, did you have any problem with choreography? Ask for their help and work harder”

The boys looked at you in awe, including Hyunjin - who was smirking the whole time - clearly enjoying the situation, you couldn’t help it, the words were slipping off your mouth as if they had come to life.

It wasn't jealousy. Of course not.

You’d intervene if it was with any of the boys, it was just basic etiquette, it just happened to be with Hyunjin. It's insane how it always happens to be him.

If stares could kill, you'd fall drop dead right there.

“Chae-hee, you're a trainee part of LuaX, right? We weren’t introduced yet, I'm y/n and I'm the…” You kept your sweet persona, even feigning a smile at her.

“Our leader” Chan said giggling at the same time you said you were their staff.

“You… know who I am?” Chae-hee's eyes were widened in surprise, and you wanted to laugh at how her aura changed so suddenly.

“Who doesn't?” Seungmin scoffed and Minho nodded, chuckling, he had a point.

Chae-hee was known in the halls not only for her beauty, but also for her demeanor. She's new to the agency, just joined as a trainee at the end of last year, but already has two strikes under her name.

“Oh sweetheart, of course I do. What type of staff would I be if I didn’t?” That was a lie, you only knew who she was because you recognized her from the pictures and tea spilled to you by other staff people.

Honestly, it was none of your business what she’s been up to. Until now…

You looked around before leaning in, as if you were about to share a secret, and you kind of were.

“I don’t even know if I should be telling you this but you've been walking on thin ice lately” Your gaze went to her hand on his arm then back at her “I think you don’t wanna get caught on the same drama again, do you?”

She pulled her hand off, shaking her head at you. Hyunjin and the boys quietly chuckled looking at each other, it was never so easy to get rid of Chae-hee like it was now.

“Yeah, I thought so” You leaned back on your chair, smiling at her “This life can be quite difficult, specially for someone who haven’t debuted yet”

Chae-hee looked down, her expression was quite hard to read, but at least she let go of his arm, so you took that as a good sign. Right?

But then a spark crossed her eyes and she leaned in, whispering something in his ear, and you gripped the hashi again as you watched him nodding. She stood up again and looked at you with a smirk.

“Well, guess I'm going. See you around, y/n, boys” She still had that teasing smirk as she passed you and you rolled your eyes.

“What annoying bitch” You murmured under your breath and Chan giggled and murmured he agreed.

“Wow new girl, the way you protected your man was hot” Changbin's comment made you choke on your water.

“Oh my God, no no, he's not…” Your cheeks were burning and you placed your glass back down.

“It didn’t see like it when you were making out at the party” Seungmin teased and the boys chuckled.

“That was just a silly game, we were drunk. Plus, Changbin kissed Chaeryeong and it doesn't mean they are dating”

“This way you hurt my feelings” Hyunjin chuckled and you glanced at him and he stopped.

“Uh, actually we are” Changbin confessed shyly and you turned back to look at him, your mouth falling agap and you squealed.

“Okay, you gotta tell me everything!” Your enthusiasm made the boys chuckle, they missed your spontaneous reactions. Yeah, it felt good to be back.

~ {♡} ~

Arriving in the agency, your hands were full as you jiggled the coffee cups you brought for the boys: a little treat for their hard work. It had been a month since you came back and things were great, well, almost everything.

New house? Beautiful.

Work? Amazing.

Your love life? Thanks to Hyunjin, it went from 5 to 0 really quick.

You and Min Kyu were still in touch but he was super busy with work and to top that, he would be leaving for a couple days for a work trip, so you barely talked. But if you were being honest, it's not like you really cared.

Yeah, you knew this was ‘wrong’, you were tired of hearing Heyoon go off about how cute you'd look together, how Hyunjin belonged to the past, how you needed to be a strong independent woman who didn't need a man, bla bla bla, but the heart wants what the heart wants, and yours only wanted him.

As for him, he was very aware of your feelings, ever since day one, damn ever since you laid your eyes on that cute boy who held the door for you when you arrived at the agency for the first time. He wanted you too, but he was younger and full of hormones, he was just a boy, thinking with his other head, and there were also the bans, he later would learn wasn't as black and white as it seemed, and the pressure from his building career…

You know the saying: what is a drop on a glass already full of water?

Well, in Hyunjin's perspective, it was all it took for the glass to overflow.

‘Maybe we should stop this’, was what you told him that night, ‘Yeah, maybe we should', was his reply, and just like that, there was no you and Hyunjin anymore. You wouldn’t lie, the thought of him wanting to end things with you crossed your mind more times than you'd like to admit, and you'd cry at night and even avoid him the next day, as if this silly act would prevent you from hearing the words coming out of his mouth.

Why were you the one saying it then? You didn't know for sure, you were stressed, drunk, and most importantly you thought he would tell you to go to sleep, tomorrow would be a new day. It's just that he didn’t, he was acting weird for days, you felt it even from the way he kissed you, something was off, but then he didn’t even ask you why, didn't even try to change your mind, he only gave you one more kiss, a “goodbye” one before he watched you go back inside your house.

That kiss was good, unlike that other one, it gave you hope you'd wake the next day to a text from him and you’d spend the day together and this conversation never happened. But unfortunately, you woke to a thousand messages from Heyoon, telling you that he got back to the party, shortly after he left you home.

~ {♡} ~

Back to the present, everyday you sacrificed those 5 more minutes of sleep to put on your makeup and get all dolled up for work, looked for excuses to talk to him or just be around him, tried to catch his attention, truly oblivious to the sunshine twins keeping up with you two like their personal kdrama.

One day during practice, Han even had the audacity to appear with some candies, handing them to Felix as he sat on the couch, both watching intently as Hyunjin was teasing you about what he was planning to do on tour:

“For real, y/n. Just imagine it, me walking in the crowd during Get Lit, stays will go crazy!” He was gesturing with his hands, his eyes sparkling and he could clearly picture the image on his head, and it wasn't of the stays going crazy, no no, it was you with fire coming from your eyes.

“Yeah, they will and that's exactly the problem!” You rolled your eyes and he chuckled softly.

“I don’t see how giving the fans the best day of their lives could be a problem” He chuckled again.

“You know exactly what I'm talking about” You stared at him, then had a realization as he was slightly pulling his t-shirt up, a peak of his abs showing.

“Oh my God, that's why you are hitting the gym lately, to let people feel you up!” Your eyes widened and he smirked, taking a few steps to close the distance between you, his piercing eyes locked with yours.

“Don't be jealous, y/nnie. I let you feel me up too…” His voice was low, his hands still on the hem of his t-shirt, that devilish grin appearing on his plump lips and he leaned in.

“I'll let you feel everything” He whispered in your ear, making your cheeks burn and a shiver ran down your body.

“Oh, he's sexy” Felix murmured, eating his candy, his eyes fixated on you and Hyunjin, Han nodded, his cheeks fluffy from his mouth full of candy. Neither you or Hyunjin noticed them watching you.

Teasing you, that seemed to be Hyunjin's favorite hobby after painting, annoying you with his comments, blocking your way as you’d walk around, stealing your drinks and food, and even sending you kisses while practicing. He was having fun, especially when he could get you all flustered.

~ {♡} ~

“Protein cookies n cream shake for you” You handed Changbin his beverage, he happily thanked you.

“A strawberry frappuccino for you…” You handed Felix his and his face lighted up as he took a sip.

“And an iced americano for you” You were about to hand Hyunjin his, when you saw he already had a cup on his hand. “Oh, you already got one” He noticed your lips slightly turning down and looked around.

“Hey Wook, you like vanilla latte?” He called the other staff who was nearby.

“Yeah, why?” Wook replied, coming closer to him.

“Here, for you” Hyunjin handed him the cup he has holding and picked yours from your hand “And this one is mine”

“Hmm, much better, thanks y/nnie” He said after taking a sip and for a moment you wondered why he had a drink he didn’t like.

Maybe he was in a hurry and ordered it wrong. Maybe the waiter was too busy and got it wrong. Or… Chae-hee.

Her name was written in the cup when Wook drank. You scoffed, after your first and much luckily only encounter, she had been quiet, out of sight out of mind, at least that's what you thought, but truth is that Chae-hee had been subtly around, in the coffees Hyunjin always passed up to someone at the reception, hanging on the agency at evening when everyone was gone but the boys, and she would “forget” something behind and needed to come get back.

Neither Hyunjin or the boys told you about those things, it was just a normal day in their lives at this point, each experienced it too at some moment or better saying moments, the girls were usually trainees or newly idols and if they were lucky, they would get their way with them and that was all. He wouldn’t tell you, but despite being a bitch, Chae-hee was his type so yes he was attracted to her, and yes he was thinking about having his fun with her and he would, if he didn’t see you at the boys’ party that day.

“What's wrong?” Hyunjin asked, nudging you after he plopped down by your side on the couch.

“Nothing, why?” The boys were all sprawling out on the floor, panting as they just finished practicing, you glanced at him, sweaty and hot in his gray sweatpants, you looked away.

“You are acting weird today, quiet even. It's so unlike you, what's worrying that pretty little head of yours?” He looked at you, leaning closer and your heart skipped a beat.

“Did I do something?” Ironically, Hyunjin didn’t have that teasing tone this time.

“What? No, of course not” You brushed off, shrugging and looking away.

He didn’t do anything and that's exactly what the problem was.

“I just had a hard time sleeping last night, that’s all” You sighed.

“Couldn’t stop thinking about me, I see” He chuckled lightly.

“You wish!” You scoffed. Obviously he was right, you were watching vídeos of him before bed, but he didn’t need to know that.

“I know. You don’t fool me, doll” His hand landed on your thigh casually, and you turned to him again. Your heart skipped a beat.

“So, what was it, fanfics, fancams, TikToks?” His fingertips drummed on your thigh and his eyes sparkled “Thirsty TikToks, maybe?” Hyunjin squeezed your thigh and you jolted, flustering hard and he chuckled, letting go of the flesh and giving it gentle taps.

“It was!” Hyunjin grinned and he leaned even closer.

“Ohh y/nnie, you know you don’t need these things, I can take care of it for you. You know?” His fingers dangerously slidding to your inner thigh as he whispered “All you have to do is ask nicely”

Your skin tingled under his touch and you were glad you chose pants instead of a skirt today, that way there was zero risk of him or anyone see the damp in your panties. Sighing under your breath, you placed your hand over his, stopping his moves.

“No, it wasn't” You murmured through gritted teeth and he chuckled, you turned away again.

“Hey lovebirds, sucking face's only after work. Let's keep it professional, shall we?” Minho shouted at you two, and all the boys laughed, Hyunjin included. You flipped Minho off.

“Alright, boys. Break is over, let’s start again” Chan stood up and the boys whined.

“I will get back to practice now, try not to miss me much” He playfully smacked your thigh and got up, running back to the center of the room to reunite with the boys.

~ {♡} ~

“Na-yeon isn't a good dancer, she keeps messing the routine up, Hong-jo” Chae-hee kept playing with the straw of her finished juice, sitting on the chair in front of the main staff responsible for LuaX.

“She did pretty well at last’s week showcase” Hong-jo pushed Chae-hee's feet off her table.

“Hunf, that’s only because she knew you'd be watching, she isn't like this normally” Chae-hee leaned in, resting her face on her hands “I think you should switch our positions, let me take the center”

“Chae-hee…”

“Please, please, Hong-jo. At least think about it” She put her hands together as she pleaded.

“Fine” Hong-jo sighed “Now, excuse me. I need to finish some working and you need to record with the girls” The staff tapped her on the shoulder, motioning for the girl to get off of her chair.

“Thank you, Hong-jo” Chae-hee got up in a jump and happily exited the staff's office.

“Hey lady, don’t go there” A female voice surprised Chae-hee as she touched the restroom's door knob, she turned around with curiosity.

“The door knob is broken, you could end up stuck” The woman stopped in front of the door, pinning a warning sign.

“Oh, I will go for another one then, thank you” The woman smiled at Chae-hee and walked away.

Chae-hee was looking around at the posters hanging at wall, she stopped in front of the Stray Kids one, smirking while she admired Hyunjin. That was when she heard your voice from another room.

What a coincidence, you were complaining to someone that you should slow down on the water, because now you had to go to the restroom every 10 minutes and you were afraid you'd have to leave in the middle of an important meeting that was just about to start.

An idea popped in her mind and she smirked.

Ever since you met, everything has changed and Chae-hee noticed it, but that was okay, she wasn't stressing over it, nobody ever said No to her before, and she wouldn’t let this be the first time, but as much as she hated to admit, you were right and she had to be careful. Careful and have patience.

Quickly, Chae-hee pulled the sign off and ran, turning the left just in time before you opened the door and stepped into the empty hall. You knocked on the door and were glad it was empty, you didn't think you’d make it until you reached the other restroom.

You got in and locked the door. Chae-hee waited a bit before going back and pinning the warning up and running away again.

After finishing, you washed your hands and went to unlock the door, it made a muffled - tique - sound and didn't open. You tried again, nothing.

Weird, you thought to yourself, trying once more, pulling the door knob with a little force. Another tique sound, this time louder.

You held the handle as it fell off from the door. Trying to put it back, you realized it didn't attach, oh shit.

Grabbing your phone from your backpocket, you quickly typed a message to Joo-wan, letting him know that you were stuck. You frowned when you got the notification: your message couldn’t be delivered, you sighed, trying Woo’s number, same, the group chat, nothing.

You tried calling, but it failed too. Looking down at your phone, the tiny sign of out of service was up on the screen.

“Is there anybody here?” You screamed three times, but didn't get any response.

There wasn't, it was morning, time of the day most of the meetings happened, which meant the staff people were in the designated rooms that of course had to be far away from where you were.

Tried using your phone again, still out of service. The notification of the meeting popped up on the screen and you wanted to cry, wasn't just important because it was about the tour, but also you were going to present yours and the boys ideas, you needed to get out.

“Woah, watch out!” Na-yeon held a very giggly Chae-hee who stumbled on her while running.

“Na-yeon!” Chae-hee's eyes widened “What were you doing here?”

“I was about to go to the restroom and grab some water, why?” Na-yeon stared at her with curiosity.

“Don't go there, the door's broken. Come on, let’s go to the cafeteria, I will buy you a juice” Chae-hee turned Na-yeon around and threw her arm around her shoulder, squeezing her as they walked together.

“Oh, thanks but you really don’t need to” Na-yeon shook her head, she was confused, Chae-hee never treated her with anything, wasn’t even nice to her to be honest.

“I insist “Chae-hee grip on her arm got slightly tighter, she had a grin on her lips “You did so well during the showcase, you'll be a star Na-yeon”

“You thought so? Thank you, Chae-hee” Na-yeon smiled with sincerity, truly believing the older words.

“Of course, you were amazing!” And just like that, Chae-hee guided her away from the hall, and especially: away from a desperate and locked you.

~ {♡} ~

Hyunjin was walking in circles at this point, in almost two months working there, it was the first time you didn't show up for a meeting. Thinking about it, he just realized he didn’t see you at all today.

Damn, he was missing you.

He walked around, discreetly sneaking up to the staff's office, practice rooms, cafeteria and no sight of you. The strangest part was that today was important, and it wasn't like you to miss meetings.

“Can you stop?” Hyunjin stopped shaking his leg when Felix asked.

“Sorry” And Felix laughed, touching his own head.

“Much better, I was feeling like you were trying to make my brain fall off” He chuckled, his eyes still closed as he kept lying on Hyunjin's lap.

“Don't worry, she’s fine” Felix smirked.

“I am not worried” Hyunjin scoffed “I just find it strange, she never misses work”

“Maybe she was busy” Felix said nonchalantly, and Hyunjin scoffed again.

“Too busy to even stop a little and come see us?” Hyunjin was quick, he almost said ‘me’ instead of ‘us’, but of course Felix knew what he meant, and chuckled.

“Yeah, right, she would never forget us like that” And Hyunjin rolled his eyes.

“Hmm, yesterday she mentioned something about not feeling so well, maybe she took the day off” Felix opened his eyes and smirked teasing his friend “Maybe we could stop by her place later, pay her a visit”

Hyunjin noded absentmindedly, maybe Felix was right, you probably weren’t feeling too well and took a day off to rest.

“Awn, look at him missing his girlfriend, how cute” Felix lifted his hand and pinched Hyunjin's cheek.

“Stop it” Hyunjin slapped his hand away, but his cheeks turned slightly pink from the blonde's comment.

Meanwhile, you were still stuck. Doing your best to stay calm, you kept trying to text and call your contacts, to shout in hope someone would be passing by, but it’s been 3 hours now, and you were getting scared, it was not possible the same agency with halls that are always so full of people, suddenly be so empty today.

People were passing, but very few and they were all busy speaking with their headphones.

You were sitting on the floor, hugging your knees, some tears rolled down your face.

“I am stuck, somebody help, please” You sighed and then you heard some steps, you got up and started smacking the door to try to catch their attention.

But just like it appeared, the footsteps were gone, you rested your forehead against the door. Maybe you imagined it.

Chae-hee stepped away, covering her mouth to prevent her giggles to escape, she kept coming every now and then, having fun as she heard your calls for help. She was going to let you out, she wasn't mean, she just needed for you to mess up your work and as a bonus, stay away from Hyunjin too.

She grinned, clapping her hands. It was a win/win situation for her.

~{♡}~

5 and half an hour in, you picked a candy you kept in your pocket, your phone battery was getting low and it was scaring you more.

You were rolling the wrapping paper around your fingers, an attempt to calm you down when you heard some whistling and you stood up again.

Ice cream, it was his whistle. He was here.

“Hyunjin?” You screamed, crossing your fingers it was him and he would hear you.

“Y/n?” He stopped on track, looking around.

“Hyunjin, oh my God, it's really you!” You started crying and he saw the warning on the door.

“Y/n, calm down. What's happening?” He tried to sooth you, thinking for a way to get you out.

“The door's knob came out and won't come back, I've been stuck here all day, help me, please” You cried out, Hyunjin tried to open it from the outside, but it only made a click sound and nothing, you cried again.

“Okay, calm down, I will get you out” He ran his hands through his hair “Step back”

“Okay” You took a few steps back, nervously fidgeting the hem of your shirt.

Hyunjin turned the knob again, twisting it a few times before pushing the door and turning again with force, seeing it didn't work, he took a step back and kicked the door with all his strenght.

One, two times and then the door was open.

“Hyunjin!” All it took was just a few long strides and you threw yourself on him, wrapping your arms around his neck and holding him tight.

“Shh, I'm here, everything's okay now” He soothed you, running his hand through your hair, holding you tight too, until your breathing calmed down.

“Why did you get in here? Didn't you read the sign?” He asked when he broke the embrace, but kept holding you by your shoulders.

“What sign? There was nothing when I came here” You wipped the tears away and turned to look at the door, seeing the warning sign that clearly wasn't there before.

“That's so weird, I don’t remember seeing this before” You tried to remember. Were you in such a hurry to use the toilette that you didn’t pay attention?

Well, you were a little distracted, so wouldn’t be strange if that was what happened.

“Hm, maybe you slow down a little, you are working too hard” You nodded and he grabbed your wrist “Now c'mon, let’s get out of here”

“Oh wait, just a minute!” You subtly pulled your hand back and stepped in front of the mirror.

Your eye mascara was messed up from crying and your make up was a little smudged, so you grabbed some tissues. Hyunjin crossed his arm, watching as you fixed it.

“Alright, now we can go” You turned to him when you finished.

“You're cute” He chuckled and held his hand out for you and you took it, shaking your head as you two went to the other room to pick your purse and leave.

It felt natural. It felt good.

Chae-hee just finished her practice and was going to free you, when she saw you and Hyunjin walking at the end of the hall. He was nudging you and you both were laughing, Chae-hee groaned, that wasn't suppose to happen.

Thinking quickly, she picked up her phone and snapped a picture. She smirked, looking at the screen.

“What are you doing?” Na-yeon stopped by her side.

“Oh Na-yeon, isn't it obvious? I'm gathering proof” The younger looked at her with confusion and Chae-hee rolled her eyes.

“No dating in the workplace?”

“Ohh, no dating idols rule!” Na-yeon exclaimed and then murmured giggling “This one you know too well”

“What did you say?” Chae-hee snapped and Na-yeon shook her head, stopping.

“Nothing, nothing” The older side eyed her, scoffing.

“But, who do you think are dating?”

“Hyunjin and y/n, haven’t you just seem them?” Her face twisted in annoyance, you two were gone.

“Yeah and?” Na-yeon questioned her “They didn't see to be doing anything, but talk”

“Oh my God, Na-yeon! Stop being so naive!” Chae-hee rubbed her temples.

“It's obvious something’s going on, he was wrapped around my finger and now he changed after this girl came around”

If you asked Na-yeon or anyone from their circle, they would tell you a different story, but Chae-hee was mad and Na-yeon thought it would be better no disagree with her fanfic now.

“She's his staff, she needs to talk to him. I’m sure it’s nothing” The brunette lightly rubbed the other's arm, trying to sooth.

“Hmm, should I go talk with Chan or straight to Joo-wan?” Chae-hee was thinking out loud, tapping the tip of her phone on her chin.

“Or maybe you could just leave it?” Na-yeon suggested and Chae-hee rolled her eyes.

“Na-yeon, at which side are you?”

“Yours, of course” Na-yeon replied without even thinking “And that's why I'm telling you to let it go, I don’t want you to get in trouble”

“Hmm, okay” Was all Chae-hee said.

She wouldn’t leave it aside.

~ {♡} ~

“Are we close yet?” You turned to Hyunjin with curiosity.

“Almost there” He chuckled, taking a turn on the road. It was the second time you asked.

You opened the Mc Donalds bag that you were holding and picked some french fries and ate them.

“I’m serious, we are almost there” Hyunjin chuckled when he side glanced you and saw you enjoying your fries.

“Ugh, I’m starving” You admitted and he chuckled again.

“Gimme some too” He opened his mouth and you giggled.

“Here” You took some fries and fed him, your eyes widened when he unnecessarily wrapped his lips around your fingertips, you quickly pulled your hand, flustering.

“Uh, enough fries. We can eat more when we arrive” You said shyly and he chuckled.

You spent the rest of the drive in silence, it felt awkward for you, but luckily it lasted just about 10 minutes until he stopped in a secluded spot. You recognized the place right away, Seokchon Park.

“Let’s sit outside” He gently tapped your thigh, his hand felt warm against your skin.

“Hm, sit outside while wearing a skirt? I don’t think it’s a good idea” You’d regret your clothing choice today, but he just touched your thigh so you could say it was the right option.

“It's okay, there's only us here. Nobody's gonna see anything” He shrugged.

“That's just one of the problems” You shook your head and he got it right away.

“C’mon doll, we can't properly see the stars from here. Let's go outside” He nudged your side and grinned, that grin that could convince you to do anything he wanted.

“Fine” You sighed and his grin got wider, but then you pointed a finger at him “But no funny business!”

“Okay, no funny business” He grinned and got out of the car, followed by you.

He helped you climb on the car hood, and you sat by his side, handing him his burger and grabbing yours. You listened intently as Hyunjin told you about the meeting and his day, as you two ate, he assured you he and the boys talked about your ideas and Joo-wan was excited to bring them to life, and it made you smile a little, you were still disappointed you couldn’t be there with them.

Hyunjin and you finished eating and were enjoying the silence, drinking your milk-shake and looking at the stars. You felt chills when you glanced at him while he wasn't looking, he looked so pretty under the moonlight.

You sighed and he looked at you, making you quickly turn away and he quietly chuckled. He observed you as you finished your milk-shake, still looking anywhere but him.

He slowly scooted closer and you kept acting unbothered, until his knee was touching yours, he quietly chuckled, finding your attempt to ignore him endearing. His hand rested on your exposed thigh, fingertips tracing lazy patterns on your skin, near your knee.

You quickly glanced down and stood still, but your skin was tingling. His hand slid further up a little, his gaze locked on you, watching intently as you kept looking away and bit the straw.

Hyunjin scooted closer, as if it was that even possible, his body almost pressing against yours, fingertips dangerously coming closer to the hem of your skirt and you sighed.

“You didn't thank me for saving you” His voice was low, his eyes still on you.

“Of course I did!” You put your cup down and looked at him.

“Uh uh, I mean a proper thank you” He shook his head, his movements stopped but his hand kept on your thigh.

“That would be?” You raised an eyebrow, and he turned his face, poking his cheek with a mischievous smile.

Your heart could explode from his cuteness, but you tried to act nonchalantly as you leaned closer and kissed his cheek.

“Good, now?” You asked when you pulled back.

“Nuh nuh, more” He shook his head, and you chuckled slightly.

“More?”

“Uhumm” He nodded, his eyes were closed and that mischievous smile was still there.

You leaned in, kissing his cheek again, and again and again as he kept saying “more”, until he started to slowly turn his head and when you realized, he was capturing your lips with his, cupping your face and you didn't try to pull back, no, instead you kissed him back, giving him sweet little kisses until you felt his tongue on your bottom lip and then entering in your mouth.

Smiling, you felt his thumb caressing your cheek, his tongue slowly touching yours as your lips moved in sync. He tasted sweet, like strawberry, and your heart was beating so fast, you could swear he was listening.

The minutes were going by, you whining every time he would part from you for breathing, chasing his lips again, you didn't need air, you needed him. His kisses were so good, you'd kiss him forever if he'd let you, so he would smile and give you small pecks before starting to kiss you again, loving how you craved more of him.

His hand slowly slid down from your cheek to your neck, until it reached its final destination: he lightly squeezed your breast and the soft sound that escaped your lips just pushed him to do it again, but squeezing a little harder now. Hyunjin's lips started making a trail of kisses to your jaw and you tilted your head slightly, giving him a better access to your neck, your skin was tingling as he started nibbling the sensitive spot.

“Jinnie…”

“Hm?” He hummed, lips still attached to your neck, alternating between kissing and nibbling.

“We can't do it here…” You sighed, he was pulling the collar of your shirt down, and you knew he was about to mark you.

“Hmm, yeah… You're right” He fixed your shirt and hopped off the car. You looked at him with surprise, was he really giving up so easily?

Of course not.

“Let’s get back inside” He held his hand out for you and helped you get down.

“Backseat, lady” You giggled when you felt his hands on your shoulder, turning you and gently guiding you to the second door, when you tried to open the passenger's one.

“We aren’t doing anything tho…” You warned him, sliding on the seat, quickly followed by him “No funny business, remember?”

“Right, I'm not doing anything” Hyunjin words didn't match his actions, as he held your waist and wasted no time in swiftly pulling you up on his lap.

“Hyunjin!” You squealed in surprise and he tilted his head.

“Yeah, say my name again” He closed his eyes and smirked.

“Stop it!” You smacked his arm and he chuckled, opening his eyes and staring at yours, but then his laughing stopped, his gaze getting darker as he leaned closer.

“Don't worry, we won’t do anything. I just wanna play with it a little, and you'll let me, right?” His hands found their way on your butt, he grabbed the flesh through the fabric of your skirt, pulling you closer to him and you sighed, nodding.

“Good girl” You clenched around nothing when you heard him saying that, his hands going to the hem of your shirt and getting under the fabric.

Feeling the warmth of your skin under his palms made him hum in satisfaction, and you regretted choosing simple cotton panties today. But it’s not like you imagined Hyunjin would be playing with the waistband of it on a random tuesday, better saying, you did, more times you'd like to admit, you just didn't think today would be the day.

Well, at least that was okay, Hyunjin liked it when you’d wear them, ‘feels more spontaneous' like this.

He made another trail of kisses from your jaw up to your lips, kissing you slowly as his fingers hooked on the waistband, playing with it.

“Feel it? How much I missed you?” He groaned as he pressed his bulge on you, and you saw stars when your hips involuntarily rocked against it.

“Hmm, I'm guessing you missed me too?” He whispered and you nodded slightly.

“Let’s see how much you missed me…” And there it was, that devilish grin on his lips as his hand went to the front of your panties, fingertips brushing against your middle.

His free hand went back to pull the collar of your shirt and he darted his tongue out, slowly licking before starting sucking your skin, he felt his fingers getting wet through the fabric and Hyunjin's hum of satisfaction was easily the prettiest sound you've ever heard, better saying, the second, first was when he moaned your name.

You shivered, letting your own hands roam over his shoulders and chest, quietly sighing and tugging his t-shirt when you felt him pressing his fingers against your panties, rubbing your pussy through the fabric. You buried your face on his shoulder, your hips moving against his fingers, you whined in annoyance.

“Is this annoying you, doll?” He teased you, grinning after giving you a small love bite that made you moan.

“Getting on the way?” And you nodded slightly, humming.

“Don't worry, Jinnie got you” He cooed and then pushed it to the side, his fingers now freely feeling you, getting soaked with your arousal.

So wet and warm. He groaned, imagining how good it would feel on his cock, and it twitched inside his boxer.

“Is that better?” He teased, hearing your soft muffled sounds, his fingers lazily tracing figure 8's on your clit, you kissed his shoulder, nodding.

Your hand slid under his t-shirt and his breath hitched when your nails lightly scratched his abs, his fingers increasing the pace on your bundle of nerves. You leaned in and started kissing his neck.

“Wanna take care of you, too” You murmured against his skin and your hand lightly palmed his outline and he took a deep breath.

“You… don’t need to” Hyunjin whispered, deep down wishing you wouldn't listen to him.

“Oh, but I do…” You whispered in his ear “I wanna play with it too” You cooed and bit his neck very lightly, careful because you couldn’t mark him for obvious reasons.

He groaned, twitching under your palm and you smirked, giving it a light squeeze. Dark eyes watching intently as you took your hand to your lips and delicately licked it before slid under his sweatpants and boxers, you sighed, wishing you were somewhere else, your moves were restricted, there was so much you wanted to do to him, to kiss him, explore him, to show how much you loved him…

Hyunjin could sense your frustration and deep down it made him happy, he always loved how you’d be all over him, as if you couldn’t get enough of him. He knew he should wait, make it special and all, but you were looking so cute, sitting there under the stars and the pretty full moon, he couldn’t help it, he needed to kiss you, and once he did, he couldn’t stop too.

Eyes closed, lips brushing against each other’s, turning into passionate kisses and soon enough you both were lost into your own little world, the soft sounds filling the small space getting louder as your hand dragged up and down his length, pace in sync with his digits pressing and tracing figures in your clit.

“Are you close?” You rested your forehead against his, eyes still closed as you whispered, breath hitching as you were rocking your hips against his fingers, feeling your climax building.

“Mhmm yeah, keep going” He groaned, hips bucking up, he was tensing up as he gripped tighter on your waist and fingers going faster.

You held tight into him as you came, his name slipping off your lips in a cry, head resting again on his shoulder, you kissed his neck, just a few more strokes and he was moaning your name as his warm release was slid down your fingers, you smiled against his skin, he held you tight too, pulling you closer and you stayed like that for a while, feeling each other’s heart beat as you calmed down.

~ {♡} ~

Hyunjin drove you back home, you took a nice and warm shower, changed into new pajamas, grabbed Jiniret and slid under the covers, you were almost sleeping when your phone buzzed with the notification of a new message:

Jagiya: just got back. sleep well 😘

Your heart jumped, he still had your number saved. You smiled, texting him and putting your phone back on the nightstand.

Drifting to sleep cuddling Jiniret, you had a good night of sleep after a long time.

Next day at the agency the stress started early in the practice room.

“Uh Chae-hee, I don’t understand what you want me to see?” Chan crossed his arms in front of his body and looked at her.

“Here Chan, how can you not see it?” Chae-hee pointed at the screen, the picture she took of you and Hyunjin.

Had spent most of the night working with 3racha, Chan's patience was starting to wear thin for having to deal with whatever silly drama the girl was trying to start.

“Yeah, y/n and Hyunjin walking together, so?”

“Don't you think they are too close to each other?” Chae-hee asked whispering “I mean, I was paying attention and they seem too close around the agency”

“Ah, Chae-hee, seriously?” Chan laughed “This is the ‘important’ thing you needed to talk to me about?”

“Yeah, because…” She started, but Chan motioned for her to stop, shaking his head.

Chan threw his arm over Na-yeon and the younger blushed, taking by surprise when he side hugged her. Chae-hee’s eyes widened.

“Does it look like Na-yeon and I are dating?” He asked her and she shook her head.

“Good, but let’s check again, just to make sure, okay?” He kept his arm over Na-yeon and turned them to the opposite direction, asking Minho the same question.

“What? No, what is this about?” Minho chuckled and then completed “We all know that I’m Na-yeon’s type, if she was about to date anyone from here, this would be me” He smirked and she blushed harder.

Chan chuckled, his arm leaving Na-yeon's figure and he turned back to Chae-hee.

“See? If that was the case, not only y/n would be dating all of us, but we also would be caught into a crazy net of love affairs” He shrugged.

“Heyy, good morning everyone” You entered the room followed by Hyunjin and Jeongin, Chae-hee gritted her teeth.

As your usual routine, you were handing them their coffees.

“I asked for them to slow down the caffeine today, because I heard you Mr. have been sleeping badly lately” You handed Chan his coffee.

“That's not fair, why only Hyunjin's has a heart on his?” Changbin whined “Y/nnie, are you playing favorites? I thought I was your bias”

Chae-hee glanced from you to Hyunjin and then Chan, who was just laughing with the boys.

“Binnie, gotta start exercising your brain too” Seungmin approached Changbin and turned his beverage around, showing the heart drawn on the cup.

“Ops, my bad” Changbin's cheeks turned red, making everyone laugh.

“See? I don’t have favorites, I love you all the same” You giggled “Now, I think you owe me a chocolate frappuccino as an apology”

“Oh girls, I'm sorry I didn’t know you'd be here, I'd bring you coffee too” You said to Chae-hee and Na-yeon.

“It's okay, there's no need to” Na-yeon smiled with sincerity to you. She liked you, never believing the stuff Chae-hee said about you, it was pretty clear to her that her colleague was just jealous.

“Here, to make your day sweet” You smiled at them, giving each a candy you picked from your purse.

They thanked you, Na-yeon smiling and happy, contrary to Chae-hee murmuring and annoyed.

You wouldn't lie, you weren’t pleased to see her there either, but you'd keep your distance and hopefully Hyunjin would too and everything was going to be fine.

“Well, we should be going. C'mon Na-yeon” Chae-hee pulled Na-yeon by her arm and you had the impression the girl trembled slightly.

~ {♡} ~

“I'm glad you're coming on tour with us” Hyunjin leaned on your kitchen's island, watching your back as you worked on the oven, the delicious aroma of the treat you're making filling the air.

“Me too, I’ve never traveled like this before, this will be fun” You replied, grabbing the pan and turning around to face him.

“Here is it!” You smiled, placing the pan on top of the counter and Hyunjin's mouth watered.

“Finally!” He grabbed the spoon he had separated by his side and was going to take some of the cream when you held his wrist.

“Wait, wait. It’s too hot, you're gonna burn your tongue” You warned him, there was strings of foggy coming up from inside the pan.

“Oh, c'mon” He pouted, letting go of his spoon and you chuckled. He was so cute.

Heyoon was working late today, so you invited him over. The boys didn't know he was there, both agreeing to keep it just between the two of you, Hyunjin lied to them he was going to a painting class.

They seemed to believe him, except maybe for Felix, who told him to be careful when painting the insides and giggled. That little menace, he was spending too much time with Seungmin.

You looked at him, still in his practice clothes, fluffy hair contorning his pretty face and the cutest pout ever.

“Ughh, you're so cute, I could just eat you!” You leaned up on the counter, and your hands flew to his cheeks, squeezing them a little hard in your aggressive affection moment.

Hyunjin groaned and cupped your face, pulling up, giving you a quick peck on your lips before nibbling the bottom one, making you squeal.

“Hey, what are you doing? I said I’m the one eating!” You protested, just realizing he was pulling you up over the counter when you felt his hands on your waist, your body dragging against the cold marble, butt up in the air.

“Not if I eat you up first” He murmured against your lips before giving you more kiss, then helped you get on your knees and then let your legs slid off, now properly sitting on the counter.

“You're crazy, you know that?” You chuckled, your arms flew over his shoulders, pulling him closer after he parted your legs, making room for him to stand between them.

Hyunjin chuckled and shook his head, his hands found their way on your hips, pulling you closer to him, lips brushing against yours. You closed your eyes, relishing the feeling of his soft lips, giving him sweet little kisses and nuzzling your noses together making him chuckle.

“C'mon, let’s go to the couch” You gently pushed him and hopped off the counter, grabbing the spoons with one hand and the other grabbing his wrist, Hyunjin picked the pan and followed you to the other room.

You picked the remote control on the coffee table and lied on your back on the couch, tapping your parted legs for him to settle in between. Hyunjin smiled, lying down with his back against your chest and body settling between your legs, pulling the fluffy pink blanket over you both.

He smiled again when you hugged him, arms resting over his shoulders, fingers absentmindedly caressing his chest while you watched the opening of Mr Queen.

“Mhmm, this is delicious” Hyunjin hummed after trying the treat you made. You leaned forward and gave a kiss on the top of his head.

“It's called brigadeiro. This girl who used to live in my building made them for me, and it was love at the first bite” You explained to him, happy he enjoyed it, the treat was perfect for moments like this.

“It's really good” Enjoying it so much, he almost forgot to feed you some brigadeiro too.

“Jinnie, I want some too” Hyunjin chuckled, he was sure if he turned around right now, he would see a pout on your lips.

Hyunjin got a spoonful and turned around, feeding you. He smiled watching you savoring the treat, and then gave you a peck before lying back.

While caressing him, holding him while watching your favorite drama, you couldn’t help but smile, from doing the same thing cuddling Jiniret to now getting to do it with his dad, you felt your heart full of happiness. It truly felt like a dream, and wouldn’t want anyone to pinch you.

Hours passed, the notification with a message asking if you wanted to keep watching. You looked down at him, Hyunjin was strangely quiet for a while, you soft giggled and carded your fingers through his fluffy hair.

“Hey, are you awake?” You whispered, not really wanting to wake him up, because it was good to stay like this.

Silence. You kissed the top of his head.

“Jinnie?”

“Just five more minutes” He purred sleepy, eyes still closed, holding the blanket closer. You giggled and let him nap some more, caressing his hair.

“You can spend the night, if you want to” You whispered softly and he nodded, but didn't move.

“I gotta go” He sighed after some minutes, and slowly got up, he sat and looked at you, scratching lightly.

“Really?” You pouted and he caressed your cheek with his thumb.

“Yeah, the boys don't know I am here, and Changbin will get suspicious if I don’t come back home” He shrugged, reluctantly getting up.

“Alright, then” You got up too and walked him to the door.

“I’ll stay another time, okay?” He said softly, cupping your cheeks and tilting your face to look at him and you nodded.

“And soon you'll get the chance to sleep with me every night” He teased about the tour and you flustered, shaking your head, making him chuckle.

“Don't act like you aren’t all eager, counting the days…”

“I'm not!” You tried to sound nonchalant.

“I bet you're the one responsible for booking the rooms, making sure mine's next yours…” Hyunjin had a mischievous smile while teasing you.

He was partially right, you weren’t responsible for the bookings, but you already checked how many doors until his.

You shook your head and he took your hands in his, intertwining your fingers and pulling you close to him.

“You can't wait to put your hands on me, admit it” He whispered in your ear and then leaned back, smirking at you.

“Hunf, I'm completely fine” You scoffed.

“Yeah, right…” He placed both your hands on his chest, tapping gently the back of them with his, piercing eyes locked on yours.

“For how long? Half an hour? 15 minutes maybe?” He teased and you stopped your hands that were already automatically running down.

He chuckled and you smacked him.

“Stop playing me” You whined, pouting.

“You can't keep your hands to yourself, y/nnie. It’s okay, if I was you I wouldn’t too” He teased, and honestly, he was right.

Yeah, Hyunjin was right and you were stubborn, that's how you ended up in your little bet, he was convinced you'd lost it in 3 days, a week maximum, but you'd prove him wrong. You had plans but they were ruined, as he sent you a goodnight text and a reminder that you'd be cheating if you avoided him for the next few days.

Jagiya: [sent a picture]

You drooled when you saw the selfie he sent you, of him in his bathroom, wet hair just out of the shower, you could see the droplets running down his chest.

Your hand was sliding down your shorts, when you saw the three dots: Hyunjin was typing.

Jagiya: remember, hands off yourself too, goodnight baby 😘

Your hand quickly came up and you scoffed. You could imagine his grin when he sent that, and you'd get rid of that really quick.

You got up and stopped in front of the mirror, the lilac short doll was pretty, you fluffied your hair, then pulled the top a little down, showing some cleavage to the camera and snapped a picture.

You: [sent a picture]

You: no touching! goodnight, jagiya 😘

That night Hyunjin experienced his first of many blue balls.

~ {♡} ~

“Oh, they finally fixed it. Great!” You said stopping near Na-yeon, who was getting a soda from the vending machine.

“Hi, y/n. What's up?” She turned to face you, she was smiling, nevertheless it didn't reach her eyes.

“Good. Is there something wrong?” You asked her and Na-yeon's eyes widened.

“What? No, why?” She tried to brush it off, but you saw the lilac marks on her arm as she sipped her beverage.

“Na-yeon, you're hurt. What happened?” You touched the mark and she hissed, it was recent then.

“Oh this?” Na-yeon turned her arm, looking at them and shrugging as if it was nothing “I slipped on practice, that was all”

It didn’t look like bruises you'd get from a simple fall, you were about to try to make her tell you the truth, when the can you were holding was suddenly taken off your hand. You looked from your empty hand to the boy a few steps further.

Hyunjin, of course. Na-yeon took the chance to escape you when you shouted at him, excusing herself that she needed to go practice.

“Na-yeon?” You called, but she just waved and kept walking.

You sighed and turned on your heels, you'd talk to her later. But you didn't see her for the rest of the day or week.

~ {♡} ~

Week 3 of the challenge was almost complete and even you were surprised with yourself. Especially with the amount of time you had been spending together.

Chae-hee had been around too, a little too much for your liking, if you were being honest, and although you weren’t saying much, your expressions and actions were loud enough for Hyunjin to know it was bothering you and he wanted to reassure you everything was fine.

So that’s how you ended up there that friday night, you both were hanging at his place, like you've been doing lately, but something was different and you could tell from the moment he invited you.

“Cheers to me!” You raised your glass after Hyunjin poured you more soju.

“To my balls!” He said, clinking his glass with yours and drinking the shot right away.

“Oh my God, don’t say such a thing!” You flustered, chuckling and so did him.

Hyunjin grabbed the bottle and shook, he stuck his tongue out and poured the last few drops, pouting after as he looked at the coffee table and saw the other bottles were empty too.

“Ugh, I'm so tired” He plopped by your side and stretched his arms up then they fell on his thighs.

You didn't miss it when his hand slid dangerously to his waistband, but something clearly clicked inside his head and he pulled back, resting it on his abs.

He almost let his intrusive thoughts win.

Your breath hitched. You'd let yours.

Placing your hand on his thigh, you started to rub lazy circles on the fabric, Hyunjin slid down on the couch and closed his eyes, a slight smile forming on his lips as he knew what was coming next, his cock twitched in anticipation.

You leaned forward, lips trailing kisses on his neck and he sighed as your hand started to wander more deliberate now, reaching everywhere but where he needed you the most. He groaned.

“My baby is tired, uh?” You cooed and he nodded.

“You've been working so hard, let y/nnie take care of you, okay?” And he purred.

His eyes were still closed when he purred, lying there in his practice clothes, hair disheveled and pretty plump lips so inviting. And you just wanted to pounce on him right there.

You touched his cheek gently, turning his face to you and capturing his lips in a slow kiss, tongue tracing the outline before he gave you entrance, deepening the kiss. Your hand went back to his lower abs, sliding under the hem of his t-shirt and scratching your nails lightly there, earning groans from him, his bulge starting to become evident in his pants.

As you were about to slide your hand there, you stopped. The bet, Hyunjin remembered.

“Keep going” He grabbed your wrist and placed your hand there, his moan made you press your legs together.

“But what about not touching?” You whispered.

“I don’t give a damn about it, I just need you now” His eyes were dark as he bucked his hips against your hand.

And just like that, you were kneeling on the fluffy rug of his living room, fingers hooked on his sweatpants slowly dragging the piece down, revealing his black boxers. His cock strained by the fabric made your mouth water and he smirked.

You leaned forward, licking the outline and he hissed. You did it one more time before holding the waistband between your teeth, pulling it down, using your fingers to help

He groaned, throwing his head back and there it was, glistening with precum that leaked, long and not too thick, pretty and pink, beautiful… Just like everything about him.

Hyunjin watched intently as you wetted your lips and twitched when you gave his tip a little kiss, your hand wrapped around the base, lazily stroking him a few times before licking up, wrapping your lips around the tip.

“Oh shit” His hands flew to your hair, holding it into a makeshift ponytail as you lowered your head, bobbing your head and taking more of him.

You looked up at him, his sounds, the way he bucked his hips up, grip tightening in your hair, it was driving you insane. Your free hand played with his balls and your lips on him like you were savoring your favorite lollipop.

“Fuck, y/n” He groaned and pushed your head, the sight of you gagging on his cock made him roll his eyes to the back of his head.

Tears gathered in the corner of your eyes as you choked on him, the tip hitting the back of your throat, you bobbed your head up and down.

Doing your best to ignore your gag reflex until it got too much, you gave gentle taps on his thigh, he loosed the grip on your hair and you lifted your head resuming in lick and sucking him again.

“Baby, I'm gonna… Oh shit” Hyunjin moaned and you sucked harder, trying to take more of him again.

Eyes locked on him, a silent plea that he was more than happy to oblige, white ropes soon enough sliding down your throat. You let him go with a pop, tongue swirling the tip, licking him clean, eyes intently watching him, with half lidded eyes staring at you, chest rapidly coming up and down.

“That was so hot, c'mon here. Let me take care of you, too” Hyunjin beckoned with his finger and you climbed on top of him.

He tilted your head and kissed you, tasting himself on your lips as he gently moved you, pushing you to lay on the couch. Sloting between your thighs, he kept kissing you as his hand roamed over your body, until he bunched up your skirt, grinning when he saw the black lace being unveiled.

“Somebody was planning to get lucky today, uh?” He teased you, lowering himself and nibbling your inner thigh, making you whimper.

Hyunjin made a trail of open mouth kisses on your thighs, nibbling and suckling the flesh, making sure you'd have traces of him tomorrow. Your soft sounds echoed in the room, and a moan a little louder slipped when he traced your middle with his fingers.

“Doll, you're so wet already” He teased, but feeling proud of his effect on you.

“Jinnie…” You sighed and he chuckled softly.

“Yes?” He kept running his fingers very lightly, wetting the pads and chuckling when you'd buck your hips up, seeking for more contact.

“Oh, I see somebody's getting eager” Hyunjin teased again and pressed his thumb, forcing the fabric against your slick, making you moan.

He stopped teasing you soon, seeing your annoyed glance at him, he lowered himself between your legs and pushed the lace to the side, smirking as he saw your glistening core.

“Don't worry, doll. I won’t tease you…” His breath blowing air on your middle, you squirmed slightly “not today”

Hyunjin licked a strip up, humming as he just tasted his favorite dessert. Your heart skipped a beat as he looked at you and grabbed your wrists, guiding your hands on his hair, he loved it when you'd play with it while he'd eat you out.

Your fingers carded on his hair and he kept licking you up, teasing your entrance with his tongue before slowly tracing patterns all over your pussy, savoring you.

“My sweet, sweet y/nnie” He hummed, gripping your thighs, fingers digging on the flesh holding you in place.

He groaned when he teased your clit with his tongue and you slightly pulled his hair, biting your lower lip to hold back your moans.

“Don't hold back, I wanna hear you” He said and as he wrapped his lips on your clit, sucking on the nub. Your moans echoed through the room.

“Yeah, just like that” He smirked, sucking harder.

He circled your entrance with his fingers, coating them with your juices before slowly pushing his finger in, and then a brief moment later a second slid up too, making you gasp. His fingers stopped for a moment, tongue still playing with your clit before he moved his fingers again, slowly pumping in and out of you.

“Jinnie… oh shit!” Your mind was foggy, the world slowly disappearing before your eyes, leaving just the two of you.

“So good, so fucking good” Your cries became louder as he found that sensitive spot inside you, his tongue swirling and teasing on your clit and you came without warning, shaking and gripping on his hair as you called out his name, clenching around his fingers.

He kept lapping on you until you stopped shaking, licking all your juices off you and giving your nub a final kiss before he placed your panties back in place and sat on his heels. Hyunjin smirked, admiring your disheveled figure in front of him.

“I won” He chuckled, pulling your skirt down again, straightening the fabric, the sight of the faint lilac mark peeking under the hem made him smile.

It took you a minute to realize what he was talking about, you crossed your arms over your chest.

“That's not fair, you said it was okay!” You pouted and then murmured “And you touched too!”

“Never said I could keep my hands off of you” He said flirting and your heart jumped.

Hyunjin hovered over you, and you wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him to lay on top of you. You stayed like this for some time, just kissing him, feeling each other’s heartbeats in the silence of the house.

Until the sound of the door being open snapped you back to reality.

“Hyunjin-a, I'm home. You better not be dressed” Changbin shouted from the door, you heard him leaving his shoes at the threshold and soon enough he appeared in front of the couch.

“Oh, you’re dressed. How disappointing” Changbin faked a pout looking at Hyunjin who laughed while greeting him.

Changbin's eyes scanned the coffee, the empty soju's bottles catching his attention. He recalled the second pair of shoes at the threshold and then he turned to the right.

“Y/nnie, what a lovely surprise!” He had a cheeky smile that made you fluster as he greeted you when you came out of the bathroom.

~ {♡} ~

You smiled looking at the wave emoji shining in your calendar: the Australia concert was coming soon and luckily Joo-wan put you in the group who were going with the boys, touring could be very overwhelming behind the scenes too, as an alternative to make the work easier Joo-wan splitted the staff in teams and each would be responsible for a different portion of the tour. You were over the moon, it would be your first time in the country and it was even better to experience it with Hyunjin.

You were excited to spend the day on the beach, to meet Berry, to meet their aussie friends at the party Hannah was planning on throwing for them. Not to mention the days off they would have after.

Thinking about it made you smile. Quality time with the boy of your dreams in Australia, after all those years of working and not proper vacation? What else could you ask for?

An email notification popped up on the screen, bursting your daydream bubble and your lips turned upside down as you read the beginning of the message: Sorry to inform, but…

There was a problem with your visa application and due to the amount of pending requests, there would be a delay in analysing and delivering your permission. You fell on your back on the mattress, texting Joo-wan and then Hyunjin, who got as upset as you were.

And just like that, your plans got swiped under by the wave.

All your attempts to get it fixed in time didn't work, all the company did was ensure you to keep your stuff packed, because it would be ready for the Japan dates.

In his attempt to let you somehow be ‘part of it', Hyunjin kept sending you photos and vídeos of his days there, showing you the venue, the places they visited to record the SKZ Code episodes and cute videos of Berry of course.

Jagiya: [sent a picture]

Jagiya: check out this room, it's the fanciest, i threw my Versace robe there so now it'll be mine.

You zoomed the picture, you've been looking for Jiniret all day, and now you found him.

You: ohh so that’s where that sneaky little ferret was, i've been looking for him everywhere 👀

Jagiya: [sent a picture]

Jagiya: he said he wanted to come on tour with his dad

Your heart flustered as you looked at the selfie of Hyunjin hugging the plushie, pretending to kiss it.

You: jiniret’s living his best life 🤧

~ {♡} ~

Hyunjin checked his phone, there were no new messages, he settled it back on the couch. It was almost show time and you've been gone since yesterday morning, which was weird because you loved to yap and didn’t even read his messages from today.

You were up to something, Hyunjin thought.

A knock on the door caught his attention, everyone was here and their food was delivered already. You were missing all day.

What if?

He grinned, standing up and running to the door, so that's why you were gone. How sweet, you were planning a surprise for him.

But Hyunjin's smile faded as soon as he opened the door.

“Chae-hee, what are you doing here?”

“Hi, Hyun!” She had a smirk on her red lips “We came to support our favorite group!”

Chae-hee pulled Na-yeon to stand by her side, Ha-ri and Ji-soo, the other girls from her group were behind them.

“Wow Na-yeon, first in Seoul and now you came to watch me here too?” Minho teased her, appearing behind Hyunjin “You must really like me then” He winked at her and she blushed.

“Don't get into your head, their miles were just about to expire!” Jeongin said cheekly and Minho grabbed the nearest cushion and threw it at him.

“We leave Korea to have some break from Chae-hee and she manages to appear here too. Is this what that mercury retrograde thing means?” Seungmin murmured, making Chan laugh.

“Er… girls, nice to see you here. Why don't you get inside, we just bought some pizza” Chan politely said when he appeared in the living room, it wasn't like he was pleased to see them there, but now they were and there was not much they could do.

“Oh we would love to” Chae-hee took a step and linked her arm with Hyunjin “Let’s go, Hyun. I’m starving”

~ {♡} ~

Back in Korea, you plopped down on your couch after a much needed shower, sighing, you grabbed your phone, checking the messages Hyunjin sent to you. You couldn’t help but smile at the ones asking where you were.

Heyoon's sister was moving and she recruited you both to help pack, unpack and organize her new apartment. Everytime you'd close your eyes, you saw boxes and boxes falling down in front of you like pieces of Tetris, you texted him.

It was almost show time, you opened Instagram to see if you could find someone streaming and the first image that appeared was a picture of Sydney Opera House posted by Chae-hee.

~ {♡} ~

The boys were flawless, as usual, and after the show there was a party waiting for them at the house. In typical Stray Kids style, the vibes were chaotic by the time they arrived from the venue.

There was people dancing, chatting and making out, the music was blasting, the cups were always full and the boys were hyped, reunited with their friends from there, new friends they just made and even Chaeryeong appeared as a surprise for Changbin. It was fun, until somebody broke a vase and Chan decided to hide all the glasses and delicate decor before Joo-wan would choose to put an end to the party, now it was all good.

“What are you doing?” Ha-ri's question made Chae-hee jolt. The girl appeared behind her, peeking over her shoulder.

“Oh my God, Ha-ri, don’t walk around scaring people like this” Chae-hee finished pouring the vodka in the drink she was making.

“Hm, this looks pretty. What's it?” Ha-ri grabbed one of the cups filled with red liquid, she took a sip and almost spat.

“Chae-hee, what did you put in here?” Her eyes widened.

“Just a little bit of vodka” Chae-hee shrugged feigning innocence and Ha-ri blinked.

“A little bit? It tastes as if you poured the whole bottle in there”

“Oh Ha-ri, you're too dramatic” She grabbed the cup from her and took a sip, noticing her friend was right.

“See?” Ha-ri chuckled “It's energy with vodka and not vodka with energy”

“Yeah, you're right. I'll make a new one” Chae-hee half smiled, grabbing another cup. Ha-ri turned around, missing her friend's eye roll.

“Hey, are you alone?” A blonde aussie approached Ha-ri, Chae-hee smirked, right on time.

“I'm with…” Ha-ri was about to point to the brunette, but she shook her head, Ha-ri hand fell to her side.

Less than a minute later the boy was guiding Ha-ri to the improvised dancefloor. Chae-hee watched the scene unfold with a smile, before returning to her drinks making.

Chae-hee looked around, near the aussie line making out with some girls, it was Na-yeon dancing with Minho.

“Lucky bitch” Chae-hee murmured to herself, turning to the other side, then she spotted him.

Hyunjin was going to sit on the couch with Jeongin, they talked a little and then the maknae stood up, leaving him alone. Perfect.

~ Part 2 ~

#hyunjin x reader #hyunjin smut #stray kids smut #My fic

153 notes · View notes

ghxstwrites · 3 months ago

Text

Messy

Pairing: Non-Idol! Bangchan x Fem! Reader

Summary: You decided to take Bangchan out for his birthday, and things get a little messy...

WC: 2.2K

AU: Non-Idol

Genre: Smut, Filth, Porn with Plot

Warning(s): Smut! MDNI, Salirophilia, Dacryphilia, Impact Play, (slight) Degradation, Edging, Pet names (Baby, Good Girl, Slut, Pretty Girl), unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it kids), Jealous/Possessive BangChan, Oral (M Receiving) Dom! Chan, Sub! Reader.

A/N: Quink Lesson! Salirophilia is a sexual fetish or paraphilia that involves deriving erotic pleasure from soiling or disheveling the object of one's desire. Happy Birthday, Bangchan! I felt with the first smut of the season falling directly on his birthday, it was the right thing to do. Big thanks to my beta reader @bunnliix with some help from @kpop---scenarios <3

Taglist: @bethelighthalazia @a---shura @kpop---scenarios @potatomountain send me a ask if you'd like to be added!

Nets: @mirohs-aurora-society

Kinktober & Flufftober Masterlist

“Baby, are you almost ready?” you hear your boyfriend ask from the other room.

“Almost, I’m having trouble deciding on my lipstick for the night!” you respond swiftly.

It was your boyfriend, Chris’, birthday and you had decided to treat him at his favorite restaurant with his closest friends for the night. You’d both been running around each other for about two hours now in an effort to get dressed, and you were running close on time. He’d come out of the bedroom finishing tying his tie.

“Do you need help - oh.” He stops in his tracks as his eyes drink in your body and its attire for the night.

A short black dress, loose sleeves that hang just over your shoulders, your hair in soft curls with a pair of elegant black heels he'd bought you as a ‘just because present’, as an excuse to take you on fancier dates.

“Yeah?” You turned to meet his gaze and you were greeted with a smug smirk.

“You look gorgeous, sweetheart, and all for me?” He slowly walks toward you.

“I mean, of course…,” you smile, “do you think this shade looks right on me?” you quiz him as he closes the gap between the two of you.

“Hmm.. let me see,” he muses softly as he grabs your chin in his hand, leaning in.

Your eyes search for his next move and his smirk grows wider.

He brings his thumb up to your lip. You instinctively take his thumb in your mouth, sucking on the digit with a small moan.

“That’s my good girl,” he coos softly as his hand reaches around, grabbing your ass and kneading it in his rough palm.

He draws his thumb out your mouth, smearing your perfectly applied lipstick in the process. Seeing this, his mind clouds over in lust as he quickly covers your lips with his in a searing kiss as his free hand finds itself on your ass as well, pulling you closer to him. He hoists you up on the vanity table as he steps closer to you, you could feel his erection growing on the inside of your thigh.

“C-Chris, we’re gonna be late,” you breathe out as you break away from the heated moment.

“Can’t the birthday boy be just a little late to his own dinner?” his voice rough with lust as he peppers kisses against your neck causing you to shiver.

You’d walked into the restaurant with Chris in tow, his hand placed on the small of your back guiding you silently through the seemingly crowded restaurant.

“Hey! There's the birthday boy!” Jisung shouts as the two of you come into sight. Christopher smiles as greets the younger boy with a hug. You both greet the boys who’d arrived as you waited for the others.

He pulls out the chair for you, inviting you to sit before making himself comfortable next to you.

“Y/N, you look really pretty tonight,” You turn your head to see Jeongin with a soft smile on his face.

“Thank you Jeongin, you look good too.” you returned his smile, while under the table you felt Christopher nudge your foot with his causing you to look up at him only seeing him looking at you out of the corner of his eye.

You continue conversations for a while, feeling eyes on you throughout the night, believing them to be Chris’ you didn’t pay attention.

You’d been catching up with Minho across the table from you while Christopher had been chatting with his other friends,

“You can’t be serious?!” you giggle at a comment made from Minho referring to some mischief one of his cats had gotten into due to some catnip infused treats.

This peaks Christopher’s curiosity as his focus is on your conversation, even though he’s facing away from you.

“Very serious…” Minho trails off as his eyes rake over your body, something you failed to notice, but definitely did not go unnoticed by your boyfriend.

Chris’ hand sneaks onto your exposed thigh under the table, causing you to stutter your words mid conversation.

“Are you okay, Y/N?” Minho’s eyes snap back to yours in confusion.

“Y-Yeah sorry, I think it was just a cold chill.” you try to remain calm, placing your hand over Chris’ as he squeezes your thigh.

“So…,“ He starts as you walk through the door of your shared apartment, tossing his car keys into the basket by the door.

You stop in your tracks, slowly turning to face him, you know that tone of voice. “Yes, Baby?” you try to feign innocence as he moves closer to you.

“Did you enjoy the attention tonight, baby?” He tilts your chin up to look at him “Hmm?”

“I..I don’t know what you’re on about Chris.” you stutter out.

He chuckles darkly. “I think you do, baby…” he searches your eyes for a moment as his grip on your chin tightens, causing you to wince. “You wanna try that again?” a smirk remains on his face.

“I really didn’t notice, I just… I just thought they were being friendly, baby” you respond faintly.

All he could do was laugh, the noise going straight to your core. Chan walked you backwards into The wall, his hands remained on your chin, letting out a soft groan when you made contact.

“Seems I need to remind you who you belong too, hm?” he whispers faintly as his lips contact yours in a desperate kiss.

You melt into his touch as he pins you between him and the wall as his knee slots between your thighs keeping them open causing you to moan softly. Christopher uses this as an opportunity to slip his tongue Into your mouth, tasting you.

His hands travel down your body, tracing your curves as he pulls you closer to him as his fingertips dig into your hips. Your head falls back against the wall and he uses this opportunity to trail open-mouthed kisses down your neck.

“Pl-please, Chris…” you whine out

“I bet Minho wouldn’t make you feel this good,” His voice rough with lust as his lips ghost over your skin. “Would he, baby?”

“Chris, pl-” you’re cut off when you feel his large palm come down on your ass.

“Answer.” He growls.

“No! No… no one could ever make me feel this good” you practically sob out.

He smirks against the skin of your collar bone, his hands slipping down your thighs, picking you up as he walks the two of you to your shared bedroom. He kicks the door shut behind him as he sits you down on the side of the bed.

You stare up at him as he removes his suit jacket, discarding it somewhere in the room. His stare is boring into your soul as the arousal pools in your panties, you press your thighs together searching for something to give you the friction you so desperately craved.

Another thing Christopher definitely caught.

He grabs your legs, forcing them apart as he towers over you. “Only good girls get rewarded in this house, baby” he muses.

He never breaks eye contact as his fingers trail up your exposed thigh, causing goosebumps to ignite your skin as you lean back on the bed.

You let out a soft gasp as Christophers fingers ghost over your clothed sex, drawing a moan out of you as he traces lazy circles over it.

“You do this on purspose dont you,” he bites “Showing those pretty tits to my friends, hoping you’d make me jealous so I’d come home and fuck you stupid?”

All you can muster is a whimper, Chris’ filthy words only fueling your desire further as you feel more arousal seep out of you.

A harsh smack to your thigh breaks your thoughts.

“Answer me, slut.” He grits at you. “Did you enjoy Minho eye fucking you?”

“Y-yes, made me feel pretty…” you whine.

Something in him snaps, did he not make you feel pretty enough? Was his lingering touches not enough? Why did you feel the need to seek validation from his friends?

None of that mattered.

What mattered is how he reached down, ripping the thin blue lace material of your panties off, tossing the ruined fabric to the side.

‘C-Christopher!” you stutter out as you see the lust cloud his vision as he makes quick work of his belt.

Chan throws his belt somewhere as he then moves onto his pants, unzipping them and shoving them and his underwear down, his length hitting his stomach as he did so. You stare at him, eyes flicking to his length immediately.

No matter how many times you sleep with your boyfriend, the sight of his dick will always be a shock to you. This time was no different, the tip was red, he was already leaking pre cum as he gripped the base, positioning himself at your entrance.

“You want to act like a slut? Fine,” He thrust himself into you, causing the both of you to moan at the same time. “I’ll fucking treat you like one.”

He pulls out slightly, slamming himself back into you causing you to cry out, he sets a rough and fast pace giving you no time to adjust to his size.

You throw your head back against the bed sheets as Chris ruts into you. You feel the familiar heat in your stomach as he drives you closer to your high, your moans increase in pitch indicating your impending release before Chris pulls out of you completely.

“P-please I’m so close!” you look up at him, doe eyed.

“Be a good girl for me, and maybe I’ll let you finish?” He smirks back at you.

He flips you over, causing you to whine in the process as he brings his calloused hand down on your ass, the smack echoing through your shared room. You whimper into the bed as he lands another smack, this time gently massaging the area.

“C-Christopher… please…,” you feel tears start welling up in your eyes.

“Please, What?” he asked, almost mocking you.

“W-Want you,” you meekly whimper out trying to push yourself back against him.

He chuckles darkly as slams back into you, causing you to cry out his name. He reaches down grabbing a fistful of your hair, pulling you back, closer to him as he harshly fucks into you.

“St-Still think Minho can do better? Think he can fuck you the way I do?” He grits in your ear as tears start streaming down your face.

“N-never, on-only want you,” you sob out.

“Look at my pretty girl…,” he muses, “Crying over how good my cock is?” he coos at you, his hand sneaking around to toy with your clit.

You let out a high pitched moan, your body starts to tremble as he rubs slow circles around the sensitive bud.

“Go on, be a good girl and cum for me, Hm?” he muses softly in your ear.

That's all it took to have you coming undone, the band in your belly snapped. You moaned out as your orgasm washed over you. You shook in his grip as he helped you ride it out, eventually letting you fall on the bed causing you to whimper into the mattress.

You roll over to look up at him, tear and mascara stained cheeks paired perfectly with your smeared lipstick as you look up at him.

“Fuck…,” he grits, his hand coming up to cup your face. “You look so pretty like this, baby.”

You lean into his touch, smiling softly. He runs his thumb across your lower lip. The way you look up at him causes his dick to twitch, something you only catch out of the corner of your eye.

Christopher takes his bottom lip between his teeth as he admires your fucked out face, so much so he doesn’t notice you bring your hand up, wrapping it around his still throbbing member as he lets out a gasp.

“Oh… fuck, baby,” he breathes, his head leaning forward.

You take notice of this and as his eyes close, you sink to your knees in front of him. Leaning in, you give the head kitten licks. His eyes shoot open, meeting yours as you sink down on his shaft.

“Baby…,” he sighs, throwing his head back. ”That’s it, pretty girl.”

You moan around him, the vibration causing him to let out a choked sob. As your movements speed up he reaches down, tangling his fingers in your hair trying to keep some sort of control.

“Please, don’t stop.” you feel him twitch slightly, letting you know he was close.

You took his entire length in your mouth, your nose brushing the base of his length. The man above you letting out an almost pornagraphic moan, the noise traveling straight to your core, are you continuing bobbing up and down his length. You sink down on his length one final time as he falls apart above you.

Just as thick, hot ribbons of his release coats the inside of your mouth, he pulls you off of him, The rest of his release landing on your chin and chest.

He stares down at you, breathing heavily.

“That’s my pretty girl.”

#mirohsaurorasociety #kinktober #kinktober 2024 #christopher bang #bangchan x female reader #bangchan smut #bangchan x reader #bangchan x y/n #bangchan scenarios #bangchan fanfic #stray kids scenarios #stray kids smut #stray kids fanfic #stray kids x reader #kpop smut #kpop fic #kpop scenarios #source: cafekitsune

176 notes · View notes

midnighthazee · 2 months ago

Text

Greenridge ABO Series

a/n: This chapter is not for the faint of heart.... grab your wine or chamomile tea and buckle up!😰

Series Masterlist Masterlist

Warnings: Angst, Fluff, violence, mentions of past rape/trauma, explicit language, SMUT, 18+ MDNI, aggression, rough sex, creampie, marking/biting, pet names, somnophilia (if you squint)

WC: 5003

Chapter 10

It was the next morning, Chan and his betas were back at the Ahgase house ready to have breakfast. He hoped to create a lasting friendship with this pack, learning from them and being a more patient and fair alpha like Jaebeom. Maybe he was being too reckless, Jaebeom’s suggestion of talking it out on his mind all night. Was he being too impulsive? Maybe talking would be an easier way to solve this problem.

“You sleep at all?” Seungcheol asked Chan with a chuckle.

“Not really.” Chan forced a smile.

They knocked, the door swinging open and an energetic Jackson bringing them into a big hug. “So good to see you guys. Come in.”

They followed him in, through the house and onto the back deck. The deck was elevated to the second story, overlooking the yard below. The treeline and mountains were an inviting view as they stepped outside. There was a large table out here as well. It looked to be a marble slab with metal railings in a zigzag formation supporting it. There were also fourteen chairs, metal framed with a cushion and curved back.

Jaebeom and the rest of the pack were at the table already, chatting amongst themselves when they stepped outside. Jaebeom smiled warmly as they entered.

“I figured it was such a beautiful morning, we could enjoy the fresh air while we eat. Please…. sit.” Jaebeom said. “We have mimosas and breakfast is on the way.”

Once everyone was seated, Jaebeom stood. “Here’s to our alliance. To new friendships and brotherhood.”

“Here’s to taking down that bastard of an alpha.” Yugyeom snickered.

They all raised their glasses in a toast, sipping the mimosas. Jaebeom sat down as the ladies from last night brought out breakfast dishes and placed them on the runner decorating the center of the table. There were several gourmet options, Hyunjin and Jisung practically salivating at the sight.

There were eggs benedict, bananas foster belgian waffles, lemon blueberry scones, buttermilk pancakes, smoked sausage, apple maple bacon and seasonal fruit. It was just as luxurious as the dinner from yesterday.

It also tasted just as good, the boys definitely eating too much. Jisung’s cheeks were so full the whole time as they conversed through breakfast. It was a lovely meal but unfortunately the time had come to part ways, Chan wanting to get back home.

“We will definitely have to invite all of you over for dinner as a thank you soon.” Chan noted.

“We don’t wanna impose on your omega so make sure you ask her first.” Jaebeom says, nodding towards Chan.

“Of course. But I’m sure she wouldn’t mind. And please bring your omegas with you too. I think it would be good for y/n.” Chan insisted.

“That’s a great idea. We will have to set that up.” Seungcheol smiled.

“I will wait for your invitation.” Jaebeom said with a smile.

“Me too.” Seungcheol pointed his finger at him. “And don’t forget to email me that document when you get home.”

“I won’t. You should have it by four. If not, I might have gotten distracted so just call me.” Chan stated.

Jaebeom nodded and off the two packs went. They got into their respective cars and pulled off, heading back home. Chan sent a text in the group chat before pulling off.

Hey. Alliance secured! On our way back.

We should be home in a couple hours!

Jisung texted too:

How’s y/n?

They were nearly an hour into their drive, Hyunjin was playing DJ, rapping along to the songs, while Jisung played his video game. They only had a few hours left, but Jisung complained he had to pee. Chan reluctantly pulled over at the nearest rest stop and let him. Chan took the opportunity too, Hyunjin having gone before they left. After a couple minutes, they were back on the road, driving towards home on the local highway.

“Jinnie, babe, are you trying to put me to sleep?” Chan asked.

“No.” Hyunjin smirked. “Don’t like classical music?”

“Not while I’m driving…and tired.”

“I can drive and you rest.” Hyunjin offered.

“It’s fine. I just wanna get back home. Then I can rest”

Jisung snored dramatically from the backseat.

“Yah! I’m changing it.” Hyunjin glared, making Jisung laugh.

The music changed from a piano lullaby to an upbeat, bass booming song. Chan drummed his fingers on the steering wheel, singing along.

“Better?” Hyunjin asked, scratching the back of Chan’s head briefly.

“Yes.” Chan smiled, eyes focused on the road.

“Better, Ji?” Hyunjin shot daggers at him

“I guess.” Jisung shrugged, making Hyunjin roll his eyes.

CRASH!

Glass shatters, pieces flying everywhere as the car is jerked sideways. The car swerves, flipping one… two… three times before landing upside down in the ditch on the side of the road. The underside of the car smoked a bit as it creaked and settled. A dark van, coincidentally being the only car on the road, squealing to a stop. Five large men climbed out, hurrying over to the car.

Inside, Chan groaned, looking over to his betas. They all were hanging upside down, superficial cuts from the glass decorating their skin. The car was bent and crushed, glass shards and fragments of metal littering the roof.

“Hyunjin? Jisung?” He called out, coughing as he reached towards Hyunjin.

“Mmm….what happened?” Jisung muttered from the back, his hand going to his head only to find a trail of blood near his hairline.

“I don’t know.” Chan looked over at Hyunjin. “Jinnie?”

Hyunjin didn’t answer, unconscious as the seatbelt held him up.

Chan hurried to undo his own seatbelt, dropping to the roof. He winced but reached for Hyunjin, feeling a heartbeat in his neck. He breathed a sigh of relief when suddenly his door was forced open. Two men pulled him out, sticking a needle in his neck before he could realize he wasn’t being rescued. He shook from their hold, landing a punch to one of the men before his body went limp and they carried him over to the van.

“Chan! Chan!” Jisung yelled, trying to undo his seatbelt but it was jammed.

Two more men were pulling out Hyunjin, making Jisung squirm in his seatbelt. He was fighting against the restraint as he tried to save his mates. Three more came over to his side and pried the door open. It didn’t give easily, the frame bent out of shape. They had to use tools but eventually got it open.

“No. Get the fuck away from me.” Jisung growled.

The men just laughed, one reaching in quickly to slice the seatbelt. Jisung dropped to the roof but before he could gather himself, they also stuck him with a needle. His body too went limp and they dragged him from the car.

Carefully turning around to see Minho, you see him resting, small snores coming from his mouth. You attempted to slip away but his hold tightened. You tried to remain calm and peel his arm from you. He groaned, shifting as he slept. Looking at the nightstand, the clock informed you it was half past ten. The rest of the boys were probably eating breakfast or about to.

You tried again once more, but this time he opened his eyes. He looked at you, breathing in your smell and smirking. He leaned forward, kissing your cheek and down your neck.

You tensed and whispered, “Minho?”

With all the resolve he could muster, he pulled back.

“You should go. Before I lose control.” he whispered.

“It’s your rut, isn’t it?”

He nodded, eyes squeezed shut.

You fully turned around to face him, his face twisted as if in pain. You caressed his cheek, and his face relaxed. His eyes opened, a deep honey color to them, as they looked into yours. You don't know if it was his scent clouding your better judgment or the fear of making him mad, but you didn’t leave.

“Y/n…please. I don’t know how much longer I can hold back. I don’t want to hurt or scare you.” Minho whispered, the restraint evident in his voice.

“No.”

He looked at you wide eyed.

“As your omega, I should help you.”

“It’s too soon.” Minho sat up, trying to clear his head.

“I am still getting over everything they did to me, yes. But I care about you all so much. I don’t want you in pain or suffering if I can do something to help.” You said, resting a hand on his shoulder. “You’re my pack now. I didn’t get to help Jeongin but I can help you.”

“Chan should be first to lay claim to you. He’s the head alpha.” Minho says, looking straight ahead.

“But you need help now.”

Annoyed, Minho abruptly got out of bed.

“I know you care for me. And because you do, you won’t hurt me like the Nykos did. At least let me take the edge off.”

“No. Go get Felix or someone.” he practically growled.

You stood up and walked over to him, resting a hand on his upper arm. “Minho…please let me-”

He cut you off, pushing you back into the wall and pinning your hands on either side of your head with a growl. Startled, you let out a little squeal. Your heart began to race and you grew nervous of his next move as felt the heat radiating off his body.

“See. You’re afraid.” he stated.

You could feel his breath on your face as you were engulfed in his rut scent. God he smelled so good.

“I don’t…” he trailed off, releasing you.

“Minho..” you say in a small voice.

“I don’t want you to hate me.” His voice was barely audible.

“This is my choice. I’m choosing this. I would not hate you for this. Please Minho…” you say, reaching up to stroke his cheek.

He sighed heavily, leaning into your touch. “I’ll try my best to be gentle.”

You smile up at him, melting his tough exterior. He smashes his lips onto yours, lifting you up. Your legs wrap around his waist as you make out. His tongue pushes past your lips, dancing with yours as he deepens the kiss. You could feel the warmth going straight to your core.

Of course you were nervous and scared. You had never had a good experience since it was always forced on you. This time, however, felt empowering since it was your choice. You were still worried how he would act but he was your soulmate so it shouldn’t be awful, right? Not like the other hybrids who used you and were extremely rough, not caring about your well-being.

Minho laid you down on the bed, quickly ripping off your clothes. He kissed you hungrily, trailing down your neck and attaching his lips to your nipple. You gasp, it felt amazing. You had them bitten and yanked, but never sucked and the feeling had you floating.

He sucked both buds before kissing lower, down to your core. The other hybrids never went down on you, not caring about your pleasure. If they wanted a taste, they briefly used their fingers. So when Minho swipes his tongue through your folds, collecting your wetness on his tongue, you moan.

Your moan excites him, his throbbing dick twitching in his boxers. He was definitely happy to be the first to show you how sex should be. He licked and suckled, prodding your hole with his tongue. Your juices were so sweet - the sweetest he’s ever tasted. He slurped and circled your clit, making your back arch.

You had cum a few times, just enough to know when it was about to happen. And right now, Minho had you already about to snap. Your hand found its way to Minho’s hair, and you tugged in the effort to ground yourself. He groaned, the vibrations sending you over the edge. You came all over his tongue and he lapped at the juices. Your legs tried to squeeze closed around his head but he pinned them down.

As you came down, he crawled up your body with a mischievous look on his face. His eyes were so dark now they were almost black, displaying just how much his control was slipping away. You shuddered at his predatory gaze.

“Minho?” your voice was barely above a whisper.

He didn’t answer, too lost in the moment as his instincts took over.

He lined himself up with your entrance, sliding harshly inside. You wince, a pained groan slipping from your mouth. He was big and stretching you out. You swear none of the other hybrids were this thick. Your pussy wasn’t used to this and should have been prepped but his rut didn’t allow for the patience to do so.

He groaned as he thrusted, you were so tight, gripping him as you tried to adjust to him. You breathed through it, wanting to support your alpha. You could already feel the bond strengthening between you two - between the pack too as you were claimed by one of the alphas. It awakened something inside you and you relaxed underneath him as the pleasure overtook you.

“Fuck you feel so good, baby.” he moaned.

You ran your fingers along his chiseled body, taking in every curve and contour. He had a few minor scars here and there, although not as much as you did. His skin was soft and warm under your touch, electricity flowing through your fingertips from the contact.

You could feel the coil inside you tightening. It felt good…too good. Wow it’s never felt like this. Moans were falling from your mouth as he continued thrusting. He latched onto your nipples once more and you arched into his touch, one hand tangled in his hair.

“Ugh…you’re so tight, kitten.” Minho groaned.

Your legs wrapped around his waist, his dick hitting deeper inside you. He continued to hit your cervix and you were seeing stars. The coil snapped and you came with a loud moan of his name.

“Fuck!” he gritted, spurting his cum deep inside you.

His hips stuttered as he filled you, gripping your hips. Your chest heaved as you came down from your high. His smell was intoxicating and you felt like you were on cloud nine. Was it always going to be like this?

He slipped his cock from your heat, making you wince. You wanted more - it felt too good. He must have read your mind because he flipped you onto your hands and knees and thrusted back into you. You gasped, clenching around him as you gripped the sheets.

“Fuck..kitten.” He growled.

He began thrusting into you and you could feel the orgasm building yet again. You didn’t think he could fill you any deeper, but somehow he did. You didn’t want it to stop as it felt so incredible. You would have gotten over your fears faster and helped Jeongin if you had known it would be this mind-blowing.

Leaning forward, Minho flushed with your back, he hit your sweet stop repeatedly. Your orgasm was approaching fast as he continued to grunt and growl in your ear, the sound of skin slapping nearly drowned out by your moans.

“Minho…” you whined.

“I know, kitten.” Minho whispered.

He leaned into your hair, sniffing at your scent gland. Your scent mixed with your arousal was making him feral. He pushed your hair to one side, exposing your scent gland even more. It was then he was reminded of the branding Lewis put on you - because it certainly wasn’t the bite of a soulmate.

His eyes glowed red with anger at the idea of his soulmate being marked by another hybrid. You were his. You belonged to his pack and no one else's. He was so angry, he couldn’t see straight. He couldn’t stand to see that alpha’s mark on you. He opened his mouth and bit down near your scent gland.

You cried out, pain pouring into every muscle, tissue, and vein in your body. Your body shook, your orgasm washing over you. You rode the high, legs shaking as he latched onto you. He groaned as you squeezed around his cock but he didn’t let go.

It was overwhelming and too much, making you see stars. Your vision began to get hazy as your orgasm continued to wash over you. Your whole body shook, eyes squeezed shut. You don’t know how long it lasted but eventually your body went limp and everything went dark. Minho released his mouth and fell with you, finally able to resume thrusting as you relaxed around his cock.

He was too gone to realize the gravity of what he just did.

Seungmin, Felix, Changbin, and Jeongin burst into Minho’s room. They heard you scream and now you were lying lifelessly on the bed as he continued to thrust into you. He was kissing across your back as he chased his own high.

The boys were hit with the smell of his rut and panicked.

“What happened?!” Changbin nearly yelled.

Minho growled in response, flashing his red, possessive eyes at them. They knew it was not a good idea to interrupt an alpha and his omega….especially during his rut but they had no choice. It was too soon and they knew you weren’t ready to engage in such activities. Little did they know you insisted.

“Minho….focus on my voice.” Changbin spoke calmly.

Minho growled in response, shielding you with his body. Changbin moved forward, as did Seungmin and Jeongin, and quickly lunged towards Minho. He growled and thrashed but they managed to get a grip on him and pull him off of you. You whimpered as he slipped from your tight heat, Felix hurried over and covered you in a sheet.

The boys pinned Minho to the far wall, him growling and fighting their hold. Felix noticed the bloody bite on the top of your shoulder near your scent gland and his eyes went wide.

“Y/n?” Felix delicately brushed your hair back from your face.

You didn’t wake.

Minho growled, making Felix jump. Felix was very sensitive to emotions, so he was scared and anxious with all the smells around him - anger, arousal, rut, worry, fear. Felix quickly scooped you up and brought you down to the med room, laying you on the bed. He pulled out his phone, dialing Doctor Quinn and putting her on speaker. Then he grabbed his stethoscope and blood pressure cuff.

The phone rang five times. No answer.

“Dammit.” Felix panicked, hitting the call button again.

His hands were shaking, tears threatening to fall as he listened to your heart.

No answer.

“Fuck.” Felix rasped. “Answer doc!”

Felix called Doctor Quinn once more.

“Hello?” Quinn finally answered.

“Thank god. I need you here immediately. Something’s wrong with y/n. She won’t wake up and she’s bleeding and-” Felix rambled, lip trembling.

“Felix, slow down. What’s wrong?” Quinn said in a calm voice.

“Y/n!” Felix exclaimed, tears filling his eyes. “Something’s wrong. Minho marked her and now she's not waking up.”

“Minho marked her? Not Chan? Where’s Chan?”

“He’s not here! He took two betas to make an alliance.”

“Okay. Um, I'm with a patient right now. What’s her heart rate and BP?”

“It’s faint, I don’t know.” Felix threw his hands in the air.

“Felix, calm down. You need to take a breath. You can’t help her if you don’t collect yourself.”

Felix took a shaky breath.

“Okay. Tell me her vitals. Can you do that?” Doctor Quinn asked, her voice gently.

“Yes.” Felix sniffled.

With shaky hands, Felix told her your heart rate was fifties. He then measured your blood pressure, informing Quinn it was 60/40.

“I'm almost done here Felix and then I will be right there. Give her fluids and keep an eye on her vitals. It sounds like she's sub-dropping.”

“Oh no…” Felix's eyes pooled with tears, streaming down his cheeks. “Isn't that fatal?!”

“Not always. I'll be there soon.”

With that, Quinn hung up in an effort to finish up with her current patient. Felix looked at you with such love and worry. He just got you…you couldn’t be taken from him now.

Meanwhile, the boys were bringing Minho to the rut house. There were chains there if needed for an extreme rut. They may have used it once but never had a regular need for it. Changbin chained Minho to the wall and he growled, not wanting anything to do with him.

“Let me have her.” He growled.

“Minho. Get a hold of yourself.” Changbin challenged.

“I’ve never seen him like this…” Jeongin whispered.

“I think y/n made him feral.” Changbin muttered, walking over to the others.

“Did you see he marked her?” Seungmin asked.

“Chan’s not going to like this.” Changbin ruffled his hair.

“Should we call him?” Jeongin asked.

“We shouldn’t worry him. Plus he should be on his way home by now.” Seungmin said.

“It’s just nearly noon.” Changbin looked at his phone. “He texted. He’s on the way. Jeongin, go help Felix and call him.” Changbin said.

Jeongin ran back home, coming in through the basement doors. He closed the door behind him, pulling out his phone when he heard crying. It was coming from the med room. His stomach dropped and he rushed over. He saw Felix laying his head in your lap, crying. Your skin was pale and it didn’t look like you were breathing. He couldn’t hear a heartbeat over Felix’s sobbing.

“Felix?” Jeongin whispered.

His head popped up, eyes puffy and cheeks tear stained. “She’s gone, Innie.”

“What?” Jeongin found the will to move and came over, gripping your wrist and looking for a pulse. “No. Fix her.”

“There’s nothing I can do. She sub-dropped. And Doc Quinn isn’t answering her phone.” Felix cried once more.

“You’re our medic. What would Doc Quinn do if she was here?”

“I did CPR for nearly five minutes.”

“What meds would Doc Quinn give her?” Jeongin asks as he comes over and begins CPR once more.

“Jeongin…”

“WHAT MEDICINE!?” Jeongin growled, not realizing his Alpha dominance was taking over.

“I, uh…” Felix stumbled over to the medicine cabinet. “Think, Felix, think.”

After a few seconds, Felix came over and injected you with a couple different medicines straight to your heart.

“What are those?” Jeongin asked.

“Epi and Amiodarone.”

“Now what?”

“We continue CPR and hope Quinn gets here soon.”

“Call Chan.”

Felix looks at him with eyes so big it was shocking they didn’t fall from his head.

“I was supposed to but I’m busy. Call Chan.” Jeongin said again.

Felix swallowed thickly and pulled out his phone. He dialed Chan but he didn’t answer. He tried Hyunjin and Jisung too.

“No one is answering.”

Jeongin rolled his eyes.

“Let’s switch.” Felix said.

They switched and Felix took his turn.

“How’s Minho?” Felix asked.

“I think she made him feral.” Jeongin said, inspecting the mark.

“I’m afraid to clean it. I don’t want to hurt her.” Felix explained.

“You wouldn’t hurt her right now.” It slipped out before Jeongin realized.

They remained silent.

Chan slowly came to, his head pounding and his whole body aching. He groaned, reaching to massage his muscles when he felt a restraint. Opening his eyes he realized he was sitting in a dungeon of some sort. The smell was….familiar. Awful but familiar. There were chains around his wrists, securing him to the wall. He got up, looking around to see a wire cot with a thin, water stained mattress. There was a hole in the floor off towards the back.

Oh shit… Chan thought.

He was with the Nykos.

“Hyunjin? Jisung?” He called out. “Hyunjin!? Jisung!?”

He looked through the cell door, and across the walkway was Hyunjin beginning to stir. He looked around, restrained as well.

“Where the hell are we?” Hyunjin freaked out, standing and fighting against the shackles.

“Jinnie, relax. We are with the Nykos.” Chan stated.

“The Nykos?” Jisung questioned, coming to his cell door. “You mean this is where y/n spent her life?”

“Afraid so.”

“It smells like shit in here.” Jisung pinched his nose.

“We gotta figure out a way out.” Chan stated, looking around.

“Hey, miss? Can you help us?” Jisung called to the girl across from her cell.

“Jisung, who are you talking to?” Chan asked.

“There’s a girl in the cell next to yours.” Jisung explained. “Do you remember y/n?”

The girl ignored him, cowering in the corner. She could smell the alpha and it terrified her. Hell, even the betas scared her. She was definitely not as brave as you had been.

“Stop scaring her.” Hyunjin says.

Jisung gives her a half smile before sitting on the mattress, groaning at the lack of support and cushion.

There was a creak of a door and then footsteps descending. The smell of alpha hit their noses and the girl whimpered. They all stood alert, watching for what would happen. Alpha Lewis stepped to Chan’s cell.

“So you thought you could steal my omega and I wouldn’t find out?”

“She’s not yours.” Chris snapped.

Lewis laughed, stepping aside. His men opened the cell and snatched Chan, bringing him down the hall to his torture room. Chan was chained to the wall, barely having room to move his limbs this time. Lewis went over and pulled a stick off the wall.

“Why don’t we talk this out like adults.” Chan suggested. “I’m sure we can come to an agreement.”

“Is the big bad alpha scared?” Lewis mocks.

“Beat me all you want. I’m not afraid. I know she belongs with us.” Chan says.

Lewis flings his arm to the side, the stick expanding. He presses a button and the end crackles. He shoves it in Chan’s side and he groans.

“We had an agreement once already and you broke it.” Lewis reminds, shocking him once more. “Let’s see how long before the True Alpha breaks.”

“You know I didn’t kill my brother. You were there.”

“Doesn’t matter. Society will never see you as the True Alpha.”

Chan growled, fighting against the restraints.

Lewis electrocuted him once more. “I can do this all day, Chris.”

“Don’t call me that.” Chan seethes.

“No? It’s your name, is it not?”

“Not anymore.”

“Shame” Lewis jabs him with another five hundred volts of electricity.

“Stop!” Hyunjin cries out.

Lewis smirks, making his way over to the betas.

“You can take his place if you like…” Lewis gestured.

“No…” Chan growled, out of breath as he recovered.

“Why did you bring us here? To torture and kill us?” Jisung asked.

“No. You’re bait for my sweet little omega to come back to me.” Lewis answered, coming over to Jisung’s cell.

Without warning, He stuck the pole between the slots of the cell door and shocked Jisung. He cried out, falling back.

“Leave us alone.” Hyunjin growled.

Lewis stepped over, looking Hyunjin deep in the eyes and smirked. “That was her exact cell you’re standing in. Maybe you can leave her a little note for when she returns.”

Hyunjin banged on the door, only making Lewis laugh as he returned back to Chan.

Knock. Knock.

It was doctor Quinn at the basement door. Felix poked his head out the med room, ushering her in. She hurried over.

“Talk to me.” She said, coming in to see Jeongin holding your hand.

“We got a faint heart beat about five minutes ago.” Felix stated.

“How long without one?” Quinn asked, looking over your new mark.

Felix and Jeongin exchanged glances, the silence making Quinn look up.

“Nearly…twenty minutes of CPR.” Felix said in a small voice.

“Twenty minutes? Two Zero?”

Felix nodded. “I gave her epi and amiodarone.”

Quinn took your vitals as they both stood by and watched.

“Her blood pressure is still low and her she’s brachycardic.” Quinn explained. “We will need to keep an eye on her until she regains consciousness. So tell me what the hell happened.”

“I guess Minho started his rut this morning. They were…you know, when we heard her scream. We all rushed in and he was on top of her still going even though she was unconscious. I don’t know if he even knows what happened.” Felix told her.

“He went feral?”

“I think so.”

“So she probably screamed when he bit her, seeing as she was already marked. Although that mark is fading.” Quinn shook her head. “I told Chan to have me there when he felt it was time and she was ready. I never expected this to happen. Where’s Minho now?”

“Rut house chained up. He kept trying to get back to her.” Jeongin explained. “He didn’t want any help from us.”

“He might eventually calm down and allow one of you to help so keep trying.” Quinn said.

“So what do we do now?” Felix asks.

“Now we wait for her to wake.” Quinn asked.

They waited hours, Minho alone in the rut house as everyone sat in the basement. It was awkwardly quiet as they all strained their ears to focus on your heart rate.

Changbin’s phone ringing broke the silence. He stood, moving to take the call outside.

“Hello?” he answered.

“Hello. This is Seungcheol. I was calling because I can’t seem to reach Chan. I called him a few times and Minho as well but neither of them answered. Did he make it home?”

“Uh…no. They aren’t here.” Changbin turned from the door, facing everyone.

They were so caught up with waiting for you to wake, they lost track of time and realized their mates never showed up.

“He was supposed to send me a document by four. They should have been home by now.” Seungcheol noted.

“They definitely should have been home.” Changbin snapped his fingers and Felix was quick to call Chan. Jeongin called Hyunjin and Seungmin called Jisung.

They all received no answer.

“They aren’t answering us either.”

“Seems like the Nykos made their move…” Seungcheol said. “We’ll be there within the hour.”

TAGLIST:

@estella-novella @lxvxchxrlxttxbxrsx22-blog @butterflydemons @readr1221 @gaby105-skz @notevenheretbh1 @bah2004 @sinfulfic @bowsnbang @just-a-blackthorn-cookie @dreamerwasfound @motheraiya55 @m00njinnie @writeuntilthebitterend @jutdwae-flower @staytinyluv @emmxxsworld @galaxy4489 @wolfo2027 @iknow-uknow-leeknow @thatgirlangelb

Shout out to my lovely betas!! @its-the-solar-system @cherry-erii

129 notes · View notes

tteokdoroki · 1 year ago

Text

THE PERFECT SHADE OF PURPLE - suguru geto.

✩ — about. “i buy her gifts like i would for my sister and she likes them. we recently fucked at her place of work, i know it’s wrong but i just can’t stop.” suguru geto never thought he’d end up here. in a new city with a new job and a new life. he never wanted to lose his little sister to his best friend. he never wanted to replace her. never wanted to fuck someone who looked exactly like her. but here you are, and geto can’t help but want you the same way he wants her. he just had to get that off his chest… ( 11.4K )

✩ — warnings. minors, blank and ageless blogs do not interact! dark content, nsfw, smut, hurt-comfot, open ending - video banner ! AITA-verse!au (read part one here !), bakery!au, italics mean the characters are speaking in japanse, situationships, co-dependency ( on suguru geto ), manipulation, gaslighting, praise, use of oni-chan/nii chan/imouto, fingering (f!receiving), public sex, unprotected sex, oral sex (f!receiving), overstimulation, orgasm control, multiple orgasms, creampies, bilingual!geto, japanese speaking + fem!reader.

✩ — things to note. hehe hi everyone!!! pls im reposting this again :( it was written as a gift for @todorosie and the very idea spawned from her love for geto in my AITA gojo fic !! it’s sort of a continuation and set in the same universe so you might need to read to understand the plot. special thanks to @antizenin for beta reading n helping me come up with some ideas !! enjoy guys, mwah mwah - m.list ⋆ read on ao3 ! ִ ࣪𖤐₊ ⊹

look, i know it’s bad… but my adopted sister and i were always close. she looked up to me and needed me for everything, up until a month ago when she betrayed my trust and fucked my childhood best friend. i got a therapist, went low contact and moved to a completely different country in order to avoid w everything. but nothing helped, i think of my sister every day and sometimes… i picture bad, dirty things. recently i met this girl, she’s the spitting image of my adoptive little sister. they look the same, act the same — i think i’ve started falling for her. i buy her gifts like i would for my sister and she likes them. we recently fucked at her place of work, i know it’s wrong but i just can’t stop.

TLDR: i’m fucking and have feelings for a girl that’s a carbon copy of my adopted younger sibling.

the city of new york is meant to be the city of dreams.

at any given moment, your fate can change. anything can happen here, you can make it big and live out your life or you can go home and lead one of regret. suguru geto feels like neither are true for him. the bustling city and flashing lights, busy concrete streets and honking taxis bring the dark haired man anything but joy. suguru isn’t happy here, in new york, despite all the wonders that it holds — irregardless of the grand job opportunity he has waiting for him just around the corner.

suguru geto had the chance of a lifetime to develop his career as a criminal defence lawyer in one of the most opportune cities in the world. his dream since he was old enough to understand the wrongs of the world.

but that’s merely not enough to keep him content, to make him want to stay.

he doesn’t want to go home either, he’s sure he would hate himself for thattoo. it would be a waste of suguru’s talents to return to japan prematurely, with its nauseating air and sense of betrayal that follows him everywhere he goes. home is supposed to be where one is happiest and safest — it’s where his family is, where he was raised and first opened his eyes. but for the lawyer, japan no longer serves to comfort him and only constantly reminds the man of his little sister, who’d fucked his best friend just a month prior.

that very instance was enough reason for him to leave the country in the first place — he had to get out, had to escape the very fact that haunted him day and night.

like any other adult with a shit load of trauma, suguru invests in the best therapist his money can buy — especially now that he can’t spoil is younger sister with it. the older woman with her stuffy office, beady eyes and chipped painted nails had prescribed the man with a short break, a change of pace from the life he was used to, to give himself the grace and time to heal from the heartbreak of losing the two most important people in his life. his best friend, satoru gojo, and his adoptive little sister.

he had no idea where gojo was now, thirty days later, and suguru knew his little sister had probably moved out of their hometown by now to kick start her career. so even if all of that meant that suguru geto could go home…he wouldn’t. he would use the vastness of new york to give himself the breathing room he needed to heal, fill his bloodstream with fresh oxygen so that it would clot and cover up his fresh wounds of betrayal, turn scabs into scars and let him slowly recover.

at least that’s what his therapist had told him to do — in the suffocating purple walls of her office.

yet, so far, suguru’s escape to new york hadn’t exactly gone according to plan. every corner of the city painfully reminds him of the hole in his heart, where his innocent little sister should be. after her graduation he’d planned on taking her here as a reward for all of her hard work, but now, suguru faces his own bitter reality — every landmark has her face etched into its side, skyscrapers and their glass windows refract the light of her smile, while famous dinner spots tie to the endless list of reservations she’d reminded suguru to make. hell, even his daily routine of hailing infamous yellow taxi cabs reminds him of her precious excitement to go.

new york was a city big enough for both geto siblings, but too large for just the one.

it’s a wonder that suguru has been able to live without his sister for this long — it’s only been a month but he’s spent his entire life looking out for her. protecting her. he hardly knows what to do with himself now that he has all this extra time.

suguru knew that she was way too dependent on him, it was bad — he was painfully aware of that. but he couldn’t help it, she needed someone to protect her and nurture her, she needed someone to teach her about the dangers of the world. she needed her big brother. perhaps if the dark haired man had been less protective of his sister and given her some sort of independence… then maybe he wouldn’t miss her so much, he wouldn’t have lost his best friend as collateral damage in the process. he would still have the two of them, and she could be happy with gojo.

the guilt of what ifs and what could have beens tirelessly weigh down suguru’s heart at the thought — he caused this. this rift between the soul-bonded pair. if he had raised her better, let her spread her wings like a free bird, then he would still have her in his life.

at this point, he’s realised something dire. suguru can’t live without her, his little sister. her bright eyes in the morning and the sweet tune to her voice when she calls out for him — it’s weird, it’s bad…how much he misses and needs her. borderlining on strange, it’s only now that suguru realises how unhealthy their dynamic as siblings had been. how reliant he was on his baby sister to need him. it should have never been that way, he shouldn’t need her so desperately to function. keeping her under such a close watch was probably what drove her into the arms of satoru in the first place.

the concrete wilderness of suguru’s new home provides no relief from these epiphanies and the chambers of his heart that slowly seem to be dying without his sister. instead he feels trapped in his own addiction, as if he’s going through the withdrawal after dependency on drugs.

whenever suguru feels immense waves of guilt, like a tsunami that might pull him under and replace the clean air in his lungs with the murky water of his own sour thoughts and emotions; whenever he misses home a little too much; whenever he feels like the world his crashing down on him once more — his therapist and her purple nails tapping against her clip board comes to mind. she tells suguru to take a walk, especially when he’s overcome with thoughts of the situation back in december. when his chest feels too tight and feels like picking up the phone and calling his sister before he’s ready to.

so geto does just that, lugging on his winter coat as he prepares to take a walk downtown while the sun sets.

suguru tends to think that his therapist is full of shit.

she believes in the colour purple, she believes that there is purpose and meaning in concepts like colours that are based on fact and science. the light reflects, and people see colour.

as she had explained to the man in an hour long session just two weeks ago, purple is supposed to be the colour of healing; though to suguru, purple makes him feel sick. it’s everywhere, in the lavander-ish off-white walls of his new york-rented apartment, the flowers in the stalls on his way to work, the skies at night. suguru thought he was a rational man, that he was calm and collected — able to see the reasons behind everything he comes across…but he still doesn’t understand the significance of colours like purple and its connection to healing.

all suguru knows is that he did like the pretty hollow shade that formed a ring around satoru’s bright blue eyes. of course, after having the shit beaten out of him for touching what belonged to suguru. for corrupting his innocent baby sister.

aside from that, tonight’s walk is mostly uneventful, full of couples getting ready for date night and business people heading home to their happy families for the night. suguru despises them, strangers on the street minding their own business. he hates these passer-bys for their happiness, a joy he can no longer experience. going home. it leaves a bitter taste on his tongue.

he misses his family. the warmth and love from his mother, the poor jokes from his father… the looks of adoration and hugs from his sister. it’s not fair. he shouldn’t have had to give that up because of the selfish actions of his ex-best friend.

suguru decides to turn back and head for his apartment when the street lamps start to flicker and turn on.

however, on his commute, a familiar scent tickles his senses and brushes over his nose. the man finds himself following, enchanted by rich flavours that he recognises from his youth — sweet red bean and spicy curries overlay the city’s natural smells and suguru makes an attempt to track it down. like a fool, he sprints after the scent like a hound dog tracking a hunt and stops a few strides short of a quaint japanese bakery with a set of deep indigo flowers climbing up it’s worn down exterior.

suguru recognises the flowers to be shobu. irises.

standing before the sliding doors, geto inhales, overwhelmed and overcome with emotion. the sweet smell triggers memories of home and how his parents would take him and his sister out to get treats when they were small. how that became a tradition for the geto siblings when they were old enough to go out on their own.

he remembers how his sister would beg him for a box of sakura mochi every time they went, and how he would so easily relent — even if it meant spending all of that week’s pocket money. suguru is so carried away with his thoughts that he hardly notices himself taking steps into the bakery, or lining up at the counter, or you.

calling him up to the counter.

you’re a pretty girl. that’s the first thing suguru notices. your eyes are beautiful, a deep brown that reminds him of roasted chestnuts and warm chocolates, your face is round with a soft edge of youth. the uniform that you wear hugs every dip and curve of your body and the braids you have are lengthy and black, perfectly framing your face. when you speak, your voice carries gentle dulcet notes that make suguru’s heart flutter — like music to his ears.

you are one thousand percent suguru geto’s type and everything about you, this little bakery attendant, reminds suguru of his younger sister.

right then and there, everything clicks into place for him.

“sir, can i get you anything?” you ask him kindly, not wanting to push or scare away a potential customer. nor pressure the handsome stranger, since he’s holding up your line. “sir?” you repeat, finally garnering his attention after squirming under his intense stare.

not that you mind being stared at by him, for this particular customer is right up your alley.

from his milky skin, desperate to be marked, to his lengthy dark tresses that you’re dying to pull at and tug. his jaw is angular, sharp enough to the point where you fear you would cut yourself should you have the chance to touch it. despite the razor edges to his features, he looks kind…almost wistful, at most. a quality that does nothing to calm the hungry flame catching light in your lower tummy.

the two of you remain admiring one another until a customer in the queue clears their throat impatiently — causing both of you to jump.

“s-sorry,” geto mumbles the apology quickly, his pale cheeks tinged with a subtle pink despite how hot they feel. he’s suddenly become all too aware of the line that he’s holding up. one that he’s not even supposed to be in, since he’d walked in here on instinct anyway. his dark, narrow eyes sweep the counter in search for something, anything to order so that he doesn’t look like a complete idiot in front of you or the rest of the customers.

more specifically, yourself.

“i would recommend the sakura mochi,” then, like an angel sent from the heavens, you try your luck in conversing with suguru in japanese. his nervous and skittish gaze shoots up to your face, shoulders sagging in relief and familiarity. you truly are like a piece of home. like his little sister. suguru likes that more than a normal man should. “they’re popular amongst our customers, it’s taken our owner years to perfect her recipe with the ingredients here. especially since leaving japan.”

suguru grins and nods, spotting the dessert he’s so accustomed to buying in the display cabinet. his heart lurches, yearning for his little sister. “these?” he whispers to you, the syllables of his native language curling around his tongue naturally. “they look just like the ones from home.”

there’s a sparkle in your eyes when he responds, and you continue to speak to him in sugary tones. “they taste just as goodtoo, i promise!”

“then, i’ll take a box.”

“how many? they come in boxes of four, eight and sixteen pieces.”

“just the four, please.”

taking your tongs from the metal counter behind the cabinet, you fish out four of the best pieces of sakura mochi and tentatively place them into a pre-folded cardboard box for the handsome customer. as he dives deep into his pocket for his card to pay, you quickly add an extra piece — uttering something about it being on the house under your breath.

the action leaves both of you bashful and suguru taps his card on the machine you’ve set up for him to pay. “ah, thank you…” suguru searches for your name in the candy scented air and you tap your badge with a cute acrylic nail to draw attention to your name which he breathes out in a husky tone, failing to mask its curious lilt as he returns to english.

“no worries, have a good evening, sir.” you giggle shyly, still managing to bid him farewell.

on his way home, suguru can’t help but to replay the entire interaction in his head over and over again. in his brief three minutes of meeting you, you’d managed to fix the hole in his heart, help it beat properly again. you’re just like her, his little sister, and that is a dangerous fact.

he reaches his apartment with a flushed face, feeling a little flustered, but a lot better than he was before the start of his walk.

after work, a few days later, geto finds himself back in front of the bakery, working up the courage to go inside and see you.

no matter how hard he tried and how much of his work he tried to throw himself into — suguru couldn’t get the vision of you out his head. your saccharine laugh haunted him as he reviewed case files, your timid smile chased him through his lunch break and your small act of kindness (speaking with him in Japanese) has him all worked up and blushing by the time he’s able to clock out for the day.

the dark haired man feels insane, he knows that this is weird — projecting the image of his adoptive sister onto you, but like a man on drugs he can’t seem to quit. he needs to get his fix. he needs to see you again. entering the bakery once again is like stepping into a new domain, and suguru damn near forgets his simple plan to talk to you. order sakura mochi, say thank you, and leave. while he waits in the queue, his courage mounts in slow stacks and anxiety fades, but by the time he’s up front and face to face with you again — suguru’s brain is completely wiped of every word he was going to say.

“ah, it’s you again!” you greet him in japanese once more, instinctively reaching to brush your braids out of your face in order to look more presentable to the handsome stranger who’s been plaguing your thoughts as well. suguru thinks you’re cute, regardless of the rice flour smeared across your cheeks and the various mysterious (though surely tasty) stains that decorate your uniform. he even finds it endearing, the way that you share the same nervous gesture of playing with the ends of your braids like his little sister. “i was just wondering when you were going to come in from the… mmm, cold? you’ve been standing and… uh! staring from out there for a while.” you continue to tease the man warmly in his native tongue, choosing your words carefully and avoiding eye contact with him while you prep the tongs for his order. “what can i get for you today?”

so much for not humiliating himself in front of the pretty girl. “i’m sorry… i’ll just take some sakura mochi again,” suguru begins, this time in english to spare you the trouble of overthinking everything that you say. “i was trying to figure out how to do this,” he places a wad of cash on the counter while you prepare his order. your chocolatey eyes blow wide, sweet glazed lips parting softly at the mere sight. you’re sure there’s enough money in the stack to cover an entire week’s worth of your wages and if a stranger can just give away such a large amount… it makes you wonder what he’s even doing at a humble place like this. “it’s a tip from last time. i never got to thank you.”

“oh… i was just doing my job!” you stammer out politely and prepare to reject the tip, but suguru refuses to let you refuse his gift — forcefully pushing the ‘tip’ over the edge of the glass. he really couldn’t help but to give the money to you, hardly fighting the urge to spoil you with cash like he would with his little sister. besides, the man earned more than enough to drop it on you without putting a dent in his pocket.

“you did more than that… just the simple act of kindness in conversing with me, a stranger, in japanese. that was nice of you.” suguru counters. “thank you. how did you know?”

you work on preparing a thin and white cardboard box for his order before walking along the dessert counter, followed by you. “i had a feeling, a lot of people come in here when they’re missing something,” he frowns and your eyes finally meet his. “someone.” you breathe out, quietly. “i took a guess, figured you might have been from japan.”

“well, you were correct…”

your heart skips a beat at the sound of your name on his tongue as he says it. it’s so gentle it makes you feel faint and you’re absolutely charmed by a man you hardly know. “does that earn me brownie points…?” you trail off, wanting to capture his name.

“suguru.”

“ah, suguru meaning…” giving the man a once over, you drink in his tall frame and dark eyes, the small quirk to his plush lips as he smiles at you… and think. he’s the perfect man in every way, soft spoken and clement, even if he did have flaws or a dark secret — you would definitely choose to ignore it in favour of spending more time with him. once you find the word you’re looking for (and snap out of staring at the poor guy) you speak again. “excellence…it suits you.”

geto chuckles quietly in response, amused by your take away. “your name suits you too, darling. it’s just as beautiful as you.”

when you giggle and grow shy at his compliment — the honeyed melody only serves to remind suguru of his little sister once more. in that moment, he feels something bad and almost wretched stir in his gut just from watching you turn bashful over him. a dark thought in the back of his kind tells him to keep you, so that he can see you like this more often. it urges him to make you need him. like he would have with his little sister.

he’s starting to project, he’s sure, but you make it easy for him, with your puppy dog eyes and tiny little smiles. once geto’s order is packed, four little squares of sakura mochi wrapped in emerald green and brined sakura leaf — smelling of spring and red bean, he pays (with a hefty tip) and inspects the box. “you’ve got to stop giving me things for free, darling. we’ve only just met.” he chides fondly, scolding you like a child as if to make sure you won’t get in trouble with your job. he’s counted five mochi instead of four — just like last time. “won’t this hurt business?” he coos down at you — sending your body into a fit of shivers despite the warmth of your uniform.

“well, i’d consider us friends now that you’ve come specifically to see me. friends can’t give each other gifts?” you quip cheekily — much like suguru’s sister would. “you got to spoil me today, no one is going to notice an extra piece of mochi going missing.”

“friends it is,” surugu purrs right back in satisfaction, preparing to take his leave. cautiously, as though not to spook you like a hunter after a deer in the woods — he reaches over the counter to pat your head affectionately, internally pleased with the way you keen into his touch. “i hope to see my new friend around more often, then.” he hums with pride, and you nod your head eagerly.

like a puppy. like you want to please him.

it reminds geto all too much of his little sister — who only ever wanted to make the dark haired man proud.

over the coming weeks, suguru finds himself at the bakery more often than not. as though it’s a part of his daily routine.

he’ll take his walk after work, stop by and purchase some sakura mochi, before leaving you with another little gift. at first, his gifts started out as wads of cash in place of tips, then slowly turned to more materialistic things, items that you could hood or wear as if they were to geto’s his claim on you. like flowers, jewellery or clothes. things you couldn’t afford on your own, things he’d like to see you in, things his little sister would like to receive if they were still in contact with one another.

suguru knows that you can’t afford these things because you’ve let it slip over coffee and mochi that you rent the apartment above the bakery from the old woman who owns it and can barely afford the new york rent as well. he also learns that you were hired because of your ability to speak, read and write in Japanese.

as much as suguru has spoiled you in the last few weeks, you won’t let him pay your rent though, so tips have sufficed for now.

nowadays, the time spent moping around his apartment while mourning the relationships that he lost are spent growing increasingly obsessive over you. hours upon hours are wasted on thoughts of what gift he might buy you next — like more comfortable work shoes, an umbrella to get you home safe during the rain that just so happens to be designer. suguru spoils you under the guise of just being your friend — at least that’s what it is to you.

to him, he’s spoiling his baby sister. someone who is feeble and needs his help and his protection. he doesn’t tell his therapist any of this, of course, she would deem it unhealthy to see how much of his money and time he’s blown in a little cafe worker.

a cafe worker who’s important to suguru, who haunts his dreams with her perfect curves, and pouty lips whenever he brings you a small gift of his affections. “sugu,” you’ve resorted to calling him, just like his sister would. the nickname was the result of a time where you’d written his name on a coffee order, and customers complained you were taking too long. so geto had told you that you could call him ‘sugu’ instead. however, he would omit details on how badly it affected his brain chemistry …to hear someone he cared for call him that again. “you don’t have to get me an expensive gift just because i make you coffee and get you sweet treats.”

“it’s not just because you get me sweet things or make me coffee,” he had responded, leaning over the counter flirtatiously. “it’s because you do such a good job. you take care of me and my order every evening. make sure i get the best of the best. how could i not thank my sweet little barista.”

you wouldn’t say it, but he knew you liked the praise. he wondered if you felt as dirty and as thrilled as him during these little exchanges between the two of you. on that specific occasion, geto decided to gift you with a pendant, similar to the one he’d gotten his sister — only this time, a purple amethyst sits in its centre rather than the blue gem all too familiar to satoru gojo’s piercing eyes.

maybe this is what his therapist meant by healing. suguru is healing by getting over his sister and replacing her with you.

you are the one that haunts his dreams now, makes his cock stir inappropriately. another thing that suguru woulda never tell his therapist — is that sometimes when he really needed it, he would think of his little sister while fisting his cock into the night air. they weren’t really related, only by adoption so it wasn’t too wrong. sometimes he’d think of her getting railed by satoru, but nowadays he would think of you on his cock instead, calling out for suguru like you need him to function.

‘nii-san!’ - this and ‘please sugu! ’- that, each word uttered in his sister’s voice would quickly morph into yours — the quivering sweet sound always resembling his little sister’s when she cried. suguru, the dark haired man, imagined you would react the same. and more often than not, it was your face that he pictured when he was about to cum.

every single gift suguru got for you were the result of him dreaming about how much he needed you, someone to spoil and protect. someone to need him.

tonight, suguru is a little late for his daily visit to your bakery.

tonight, an important case at his firm had rolled in at the last minute and required attention before a preliminary hearing — but even his job couldn’t keep suguru geto away from you. when he arrives at the bakery, you’re still there, having left the doors unlocked for him to come inside.

tonight, there is no long line of customers out the door to build up the anticipation between you both, the lights have already been deemed and there’s not a trace of life inside of the bakery. aside from yourself, of course.

tonight, you’re on the closing shift instead of the owner’s grandson, choso. who you reassured suguru you weren’t interested in the first time they’d met. with gentle eyes that masked the dark haired man’s fury, geto had told you that he was the only man you’d ever need and you believed him — suguru had a charm for making people dependent on him.

the tiny silver bell stationed at the door jingles and signals geto’s arrival, but you hardly look up from your work — keeping your back to him while you sweep at nothing. you’re hiding the excitement that prickles down your spine, you’ve been waiting to get the man alone for weeks and now that you’re able to… you can hardly contain yourself.

“excuse me, uh…” he says your name so sweetly, as though the words on his tongue are laced with honey. pretending not to know you only makes tonight more thrilling. “are you open? do you have any sakura mochi to spare?” it’s only then that you whirl around to face suguru, your deep brown eyes still bright despite the dimness of the empty bakery — they sparkle with elation, and the plump curve of your lips spike up into an easy smile. you’ve been waiting, suguru notes, like a good little girl.

like a puppy waiting for her owner.

you’ve been waiting to see him.

anticipation claws at the air, sending ripples of kinetic energy into the space between you both — where suguru waits at the door and you stand front and centre in the middle of the room. his murky eyes slink down to your neck where one hand fiddles with the silver chain of your pendant, your nails tapping at the amethyst in its centre. in the same way his sister does when she’s nervous.

neither of you know what’s going to happen tonight, now that you’re finally alone.

“we have some in the back,” you swallow down the heartbeat in your throat you nod shyly when you finally speak. it’s weird how your body has started to react to suguru after weeks of getting to know him, being spoiled by him. the clothes you wear are now covered in traces of him, the jewellery you own is paid for by his dime. this…stranger, who you hardly know yet feel like you know everything about, has invaded every inch of your life… and you’re not even mad about it. you’d rather die than let this go. “i just need to lock up first. if you’ll give me a moment.”

you approach him cautiously, practically pressing your breasts against his chest as you reach behind the man to lock the doors he stands in front of. suguru can already tell that the mood today is different — full of hunger and expectations for something less polite than evening chatter and gift exchanges. his dark eyes follow your every move across the bakery like a wolf tracking the scent of prey.

“why don’t you come with me to the back? and if you don’t mind, could you carry a bag or two of that rice flour? it’s too heavy for me on my own?” you ask him after backing away with a glint in your eye. naughty, naughty. geto likes the fact that you’re asking him, that you need him and he can be your strong suguru.

“sure, anything for you.” he agrees a little bit too quickly, removing his work jacket and rolling up the sleeves of his dress shirt. suguru discards his tie as well — before lifting a sack of rice flower with ease. he pretends not to notice the way you ogle the bulge in his biceps as he does so.

“thanks.” you utter, leading the way to the back of the bakery.

once the two of you arrive in the kitchens at the back, you give suguru some time to set down the sacks of flour and retreat to the many shelves of sweet treats and baked goods that you’d prepared for your shift the next day. you’re sure choso, nor his grandmother, would mind if you stole a plate of mochi for the two of you to share. they trusted you enough, but you decide to forgo telling them for now.

“i was starting to think you weren’t coming.” you say as you set the desserts out on the metal table for him, suguru hates the guilt that he feels for leaving you for so long. “seeing you is the highlight of my week.”

“are you sure it’s not the gifts that i give you?” he teases, rounding the table to take a piece of mochi from the plate at its middle. he practically moans at the flavours of cherry blossom and crystallised sugar bursting across the palette of his tongue. and for a moment, his mind slips to other territories — wandering what you’d taste like as well.

“n-no! sugu!” for the first time that night, you break character, bashfully tucking your pretty face into your shoulder as if to hide it. “i, um… i genuinely like seeing you and when you come to see me. i-it makes me feel better. being around you. i feel safer and happier.”

putting his weight onto the metal surface, suguru leans forward and cocks his head to the side in faux curiosity. your answer is just what he wanted to hear. he finally has you where he wants you, like a sweet deer in a hunter’s trap. “is that so, darling?” you shake your head yes in affirmation. “well then, you’re awfully sweet.” geto takes to praising you, licking the traces of candy from his lips and maintaining eye contact while his hand dips into the pocket of his slacks for something. “i have a gift for you, little one.”

“oh yeah?” youtoo, take a bite out of the treats you’ve laid out, munching on them casually while keeping suguru under your watchful eye.

it’s only then that pulls out a matching item of jewellery, this time, a matching anklet to the item that sits heavy at your neck. the silver chain is dotted with tinier, purple gems. a showcase of suguru’s appreciation for how much you’ve healed him — a nod to how much better he feels around you too.

“you sure do love purple for me, sugu.” you joke, laughing incredulously at the expensive gift. “it’s beautiful, thank you.” you let him circle the table to take hold of your soft hips, lifting you onto the cool surface so that geto has some leverage to put the anklet on you.

after kicking out your left foot — suguru sinks to his knees before you, and something about the way he looks up at you, with his eyebrows drawn to the centre of his forehead and his milky cheeks slightly flushed, has your heart racing and your head all dizzy. “purple is supposed to mean healing. i’ve had a tough time, being away from japan and my family…” he begins quietly, his voice is calming with lilts and drops of hunger that slips through the cracks of suguru’s caring resolve. “but you’ve made it better,” one of his large hands encircles your ankle, lifting your foot higher so that geto is easily able to remove the strap of your mary-jane shoe and replace it with the chains of your new anklet. “ah… a perfect fit.” he announces in japanese, fixing the clasp.

the whole ordeal is intimate, inviting and you feel like you might slip under the surface of dark, dangerous waters if you’re not careful. you don’t know how to swim, but something tells you that suguru will keep you afloat. “anyways, little one…” suguru continues with his monologue, whispering his words against your talus bone at the base of your leg, where it meets your foot. “you wanting me here and needing me… it heals me.”

once he’s checked that the anklet is secure, suguru reaches a hand upwards, and brushes a thumb over the swell of your glossy bottom lip to swipe away a smudge of powdered sugar from the mocha. you will yourself to speak, but you feel as though you can’t even breathe. “i’ve…healed you?”

suguru stands up, towering over you now as he moves to suck the sugar from your lips off of his thumb. “of course, little one. what else do you think you’ve been doing this whole time?” his pupils dilate, obsidian black drowning out any other colour in his eyes while closes the gap between your heated bodies. your thighs instinctively jump apart to make room for him too, allowing him to loom over you even better — following the biological call of your hearts.

the world comes to a standstill when suguru’s lips finally meet yours in a sloppy yet coordinated kiss. while his movements are messy and hungry he remains gentle with you, as though you might break from too much force. the sweltering heat of his tongue swipes eagerly but not aggressively over the seam of your mouth, dying to be let in and taste the sugar that glazes your own pink muscle. his large, unusually soft hands grasp, and squeeze and pinch at your thighs, then the fat at your hips until his thumbs are tucked under your breasts, soothing circles over the point at which the fleshy mounds join up with your rib cage.

goosebumps break out across your skin from underneath your clothes and you feed suguru a needy little squeak when he finally breaks into your mouth, his tongue lapping circles at every crevice. you sound just like her, his angelic little sister, and he treats you so gently because he would never want to hurt her. suguru has always wanted to kiss his sister, but you’ll have to do. he likes you just as much as her.

it’s that sick and twisted desire to devour his younger sibling that fuels his next movements, along with the dulcet and darling sounds you make for him. carefully and between sticky lip locks, suguru pushes you onto your back — humming in amusement when it arches away from the cool metal of the silver counter. “s-sugu,” you whimper wetly, catching your breath while his smooches cascade down to your neck and his fingers work their way through the buttons on your uniform. your own take residence in his firm and broad set shoulders, as if to steady yourself. “i haven’t… i don’t have much experience with these things a-and they’ve not been the best—“

the dark haired man chuckles softly, the sound sending a spark of lust down your spine and causing you to arch up into him as he cages you against the table. “i’ll be gentle,” he tells you firmly, in a tone that smooths over the doubts in your mind and helps you to relax. suguru will take care of everything. “you don’t have to worry. i want this to be all about you feeling good, okay?” you nod in reply and suguru sucks his teeth. “i want a verbal answer, little one.”

“yes, sugu…”

he places a chaste kiss to your collarbones then, a pleased hum vibrating against your temperate skin. “good girl.”

the next few moments are a blur as suguru geto strips you down, kissing every inch of your exposed body with each article of clothing he removes from your shaky frame. all that he leaves you with are your soiled panties after reaching around the curve of your spine to unclip your bra with one hand. it’s all so nerve wracking and invigorating all at once, you can’t help but wrap your legs around his waist and pull him in for more.

between the chaos and rustling of his own clothes coming off, suguru presses two digits to your budding clit and your world tilts on its axis — he’s hardly touching you and yet you feel so good, especially when he rolls the swollen little nub between a thumb and forefinger. your nails form crescent moons against his shoulder in response.

you’re so overwhelmed by the patterns he traces over your clit, his name, his promises to you and your body, as well as the blood rushing to it — that you hardly notice geto’s descent on your body, the hot trail of kisses he leaves between the valley of your breasts and over your soft tummy. you just about manage to feel him over the haze in your brain when his lips hit the scalloped edge of your panties, and you jolt when the tip of his tongue forcefully traces the outline of your un-used, soaked hole from over the gusset of said garment.

the fabric darkens as your juices pool against it, mixed with the wetness of suguru’s tongue.

“will you let me pleasure you, little one?”

it’s not like you can say no (not that you want to), especially with the way geto manoeuvres your thighs to hang over the backs of his strong shoulders as he settles between your trembling legs. while he waits for your reply, he takes your wrist into his grasp and pulls one of your silk scrunchies from it — using it to tie back his luscious black hair.

you look down at him through your lashes with a painted expression of want and worry.

suguru pushes the pads of his thumbs into the globes of your ass against the cold table — massaging the flesh with mischievous eyes as your pussy gushes and leaks a fresh wave of nectar right down to the puckered ring between your ass cheeks. “just tying my hair back as a precaution,” he whispers, voice lowering an octave as his face slowly nears your clenching cunt. “i’m a messy eater…”

“a-ah! sugu!”

at first, suguru delivers a single lick to your awaiting pussy, drawing a stripe with his tongue between the length of your fat and sluice folds. then, when you cry out his name he can’t help but to latch his heated mouth onto your unattended sex, chuckling at the realisation of just how good you taste. it’s a natural flavour, with a twinge of sweetness suguru could have only hoped to imagine. he’s been waiting for this moment and to have you like this for weeks — to replace his prior daydreams of fucking his baby sister with you…and now he finally has the material to do so.

a sinful giddiness infiltrates geto’s bloodstream as he kitten licks at your pulsating mound — feeding in your arousal as it grows before inhaling deeply, nastily taking in your scent so that he can commit it to memory. “how does that feel?” he coos his words out as he hungrily nips at your sopping folds, rolling them raw between rows of perfect white teeth until you’re choking on a breath and your face scrunches adorably. “is that nice, love?”

a wet whimper lies on your kiss-swollen lips, and your hips naturally buck up to follow the warm trace of suguru’s mouth encompassing your sex. “f-feels so good! b-better than i… could have imagined,” you struggle to get out, gargling on each syllable while your chest heaves and arches away from the chilly table — giving suguru the perfect view of your bouncing breasts and only motivating him to pleasure you more. “f-fuck!”

if you were his baby sister, suguru isn’t so sure that you’d curse in front of him. she wouldn’t, she was too docile and sweet to utter a bad thing in his presence. but you, you’re both of those things and more — you lose yourself easily to the ecstasy in your veins; liquid pleasure spewing from your blistering hot cunt like a free-flowing river, painting suguru’s high cheekbones with your body’s riches. he feels blessed to be between your thighs, defiling the blossoming flower of your cunt with his eager mouth.

“you’re so…you’re so pretty when you gush like this for me. i want you to give me more.” his tongue darts along the length of your weeping slit, catching what you leak before it can go to waste on the icy table beneath your hot skin. drunk on your taste, suguru forces his flexible tongue past the tightness of your fluttering entrance. “can you do that for me?” he mouths, though whatever he says is slurred as he slowly begins to tongue fuck you.

“a-anything,” you say, breathing shallow and eyes beginning to grow teary. suguru’s tongue slips in and out of your creaming hole with rhythm, preparing you, using a pseudo sensation, for his fat cock. “anything for you! i wanna feel good for you. wanna please you!” he languidly strokes at your ribbed insides as a reward, chasing your honey nectar taste while your hips canter up and chase bud hismouth.

suguru intends to destroy you, own you and unleash all of his darkest fantasies onto you. he’s dreamed of ruining his adoptive little sister, making her cum all over him — it just so happens that you look and sound like her, you match every single one of his dreams about her, you make them all a reality. it’s only right that he pleases you and makes you see stars for needing him and relying on him so well.

he wonders if his sister would cry like you do, or if she would try to stave off her orgasm like you do. would she scream his name over the saliva pooling on her tongue like you do. eyes in the shade of deep, chocolate brown start to flutter shut at the sound of your desperate pleas as you writhe under suguru’s attention of your swollen pussy. your back sticks to the table and your thighs shake either side of suguru’s head, but he doesn’t relent on sucking the juices that cling to your pussy lips until all he can breathe is you.

his tongue twists happily against your lush walls, grasping at the essence that lines them.

“you’re doing well for me, little one, so well…” he praises you, knowing how close you’re getting. it’s in the way your body twitches with every suck to your hardened clit and the way you try to push him off of you. you need it so bad, you need him to make you cum. suguru thrusts deeper, harder and faster using his tongue — catching what dribbles from your tiny hole after it slips between your ass cheeks and pools in a puddle on the table. “i want to taste it. if you’ll cum for me, that’ll make me happy. so let me…”

suguru can’t even finish, dizzy on the taste of you like the buzz of a high. he could spend an infinite number of days between your legs. no matter how sore his knees get from kneeling between them — all he wants to do is slurp down everything that you give him, focus on making you reach pleasure of only heavenly limits in order to evade the guilt he feels. the one that causes knots to twist in geto’s stomach.

how could he do this?

how could he want this?

to fuck someone so reminiscent of his little sister.

to manipulate them into fucking him?

suguru’s name is hot on your lips, spiralling into the husky evening air. “come on, little one. cum for me,” meanwhile, his breath on your cunt makes your hips wiggle and hole spasm — a new wave of juices staining his face. it’s scent and taste coax the man into diving back into your sopping heat, the point of his nose bumping against your pleasure nub as if peeks out from beneath its hood.

“m-mph… m’kay,” comes your hushed whisper as you thread your fingers through the black roots of geto’s hair, keeping him pinned to your precious creamy core as you rut against his agile tongue. “f-feels funny!” you gasp and warble, filling the man’s mouth with your raw folds and liquid lust.

“hm?” geto hums lazily in acknowledgment, licking up to your clit so that he can replace his tongue with two digits. he works at your dripping hole, stretching it over them through the haze in his mind. he swoons at the thought of replacing those same digits with his cock next — they speed up with excitement, squelching and echoing throughout the room, overlapping with your high pitched breathy moans.

with your heart rattling against your ribcage, you can hardly fight off the urge building within your lower belly — your hips are frantic as they chase after the feeling and the burning high that crackles across your neurons. geto groans wickedly, feeling your sex spasm against his soaked lips and clench down hard on his fingers. it’s not long before he feels you succumb to your first orgasm. it washes over him in heavenly waves — clearing away his guilt and desire for his little sister while simultaneously drowning you under sinful pretences.

your entire body is racked with the case of the shakes, your eyes shooting back into the dark depths of your skull while white noise fills your ears and overlays the sound of suguru lewdly slurping at your release. speaking off, clear streams of your arousal spurt from your quivering cunt…and for the first time ever, you squirt. everywhere, all over the place, making such a mess that suguru is left gargling over everything that you give him and there’s a crude splatter as your juices hit the floor.

he doesn’t stop, however, licking you clean with his fingers continuing to curl languidly against your g-spot — over and over again.

“sugu p-please! s’too much,” you plead in the form of a heavy sob — but only god knows that you don’t want the man to stop.

“just one more for me?” he asks you tentatively, releasing your throbbing clit with a wet pop. suguru stands and you look up at him — noting the way his bangs stick to his cheeks from how wet you’ve gotten him. he doesn’t stop pumping his fingers in and out of you either, dragging the tips of them along your overstimulated and stretched walls. “you can do it, and if you can i’ll reward you. how does that sound, little one?” he slows his pace just enough to only have the seat of his palm salaciously grind against your clit, not wanting to hurt you.

he wouldn’t want to hurt his adoptive sister if he ever had the chance to get her spread open like this.

your face is stained with mascara, your brown eyes big and wobbly and your braids are askew — but still, you’re the most adorable thing he’s ever seen, next to her. your fingers threaten to snap shut around his wrist, but with his free hand he forces the wet and doughy flesh back open, and with a few more thrusts if his fingers, nice and tantalisingly slow, you’re cumming again in another cute, clear stream — dowsing suguru’s hand in another wash of your cum.

leaning down, suguru’s lips tainted with your arousal lean down to meet your own — capturing them in a sweet kiss to help bring you back down to earth. “what’s your colour, darling? red for bad, yellow for okay and green for good. how do you feel?”

“g-green,” you mumble, keening into his touch and craving his affection. “i feel fine, my legs won’t stop shaking. i’ve never cum like that before…”

pride blooms like a wildflower in suguru’s chest.

“well, i don’t intend on stopping, little one,” brushing your braids back into place, suguru carefully pulls his fingers out of your stretched hole and swiftly sucks them clean. “your pretty pussy is so tiny, must not have been used properly,” the vulgarity of his words have you arching for more from suguru, and you’re lucky that he’s not done with you yet. “don’t worry, love. i’ll fix that.”

you’re weak in the knees when suguru manhandles you from the table onto the floor, making sure that you’re comfortable on your tummy — he even goes as far to nestle a bag of rice flour under your hips. you pretend not to notice the way his strength makes you flutter around nothing, smearing your juices onto the bakery floor.

“i’ve been holding back quite a bit,” he murmurs against your naked shoulder blades — the dark tresses of his hair tickling your skin. “so i might not last long.” you hear a belt clink before suguru kicks his slacks off and away, rewarding your patience with a kiss against your spine. “i hope it’s okay if i just give you my all.”

from this position, it’s easy for suguru to picture his younger, adopted sister instead of you — he’s dreamed of having her present for him like this countless times, but it doesn’t compare to the way it feels having your hot body underneath him like this. your ass is so soft and pliant in his hands as he drags your hips up a little higher. another hand grasps at the hardness of his cock that’s been dripping and aching ever since geto first got his mouth on you.

with stuttering hips, he positions himself at your needy entrance, chuckling in approval when you attempt to wiggle back on him — just as hungry for this as your lover is. both of you hiss as his veiny shaft comes into contact with your sticky folds, suguru using the remnants of your orgasms to slick himself up again and make it easier for you take all of him. you can’t see him, but the dark haired man’s cheeks are tinged pink with pure desire — his gaze turning woozy as he looks from your gaping hole to his cockhead, tapping it against your souse entrance a few times for good measure.

fuck a condom, he thinks, if given the opportunity — he would have fucked his sister rawtoo.

“whatever you give me, i-it’ll be enough for me, sugu,” you sniff, fisting the floor in anticipation — laying your hot, tear streaked cheek against its cool surface. “t-thank you for treating me so well.”

“i promise,” geto heaves, words a little too rushed and eager. “i’ll make you feel so good, so fucking…h-hah—“ without warning, he thrusts all the way inside of you with his hips driving all the way forward until his pelvis is flush against the curve of your ass. geto is chubbier than you thought he would be, and just the right length — plugging you full. every vein wrapped around his shaft presses up against your most sensitive pleasure spots, and he’s weighty against your gummy unused walls.

suguru’s breath prickles at shell of your ears as he collapses on top of you, all of his weight keeping you pinned to the cold hard floor. “can i move?” he lets out a wavering gasp, fighting the instinct to fuck down into you. your cunt ripples around him deliciously, the heat from your body making him drowsy. “you need to be fucked, little one. need someone to stretch out your tight pussy… i can do that for you. if you let me…”

he hates the part of his brain that wonders if his baby sister was this tight when gojo fucked her.

“i want you to,” you slur gently, purposely squeezing down on the base of suguru’s cock and practically creaming around it. you wriggle back on him until he’s completely bottomed out inside of you — balls deep while you ooze against his pelvis and heavy balls. “need you to fuck me…”

that’s all it takes for your stranger turned lover to give his all to you. he drops his sweaty chest to your back, pulling his chubby cock from the snugness of your heat as his teeth take purchase in your shoulders — leaving a litter of love bites your uniform will barely cover once the night is over. suguru is possessive of his belongings, like you and his little sister — the bites are his claim on you.

in one powerful move, you’re full to the brim with rock hard cock — deep in your guts, churning them up and spreading lust like a wildfire through your weak body. you feel dwarfed underneath him. despite being pinned to the floor, you still manage to rock your hips back against suguru and suck more of him into your cute, quivering cunt. it just about helps him set a steady stream to his meaningful thrusts.

wet slapping sounds echo throughout the back room of the bakery, accompanied by your meek mewls and gasps for air the faster suguru pounds into your warmth. fat droplets of precum smear along your soaked and ripe insides, ready to be bred by suguru. ready to be marked by him. you feel like you belong to him like a treasured pet and you don’t even mind it. your pussy blossoms for him like that of a japanese cherry blossom in the spring time — or iris flowers, shobu, in their iconic shade of purple. like the bruises he’s left on your back.

oh, you’re just perfect for suguru. you fulfil all of his sister-fucking fantasies, even your moans sound like hers when she would get off in her room — thinking no one could hear her. he loves this, he might even love you — the way you feel wrapped around him, reaching for the stars in your eyes. it feels like you’re made for him, with the way you clamp down on his oozing mushroomed tip and squirm about underneath him.

your pussy barely lets go of geto when he draws his hips back, but every time he fucks down into him — your fluttering hole stretches to accommodate his creamy thickness. it creates the perfect pathway for the dark haired man to bully your g-spot in a way that makes you scream for more. “you’re perfect for me…fuck, you’re so perfect,” suguru intimately whispers into your skin from behind, his hands smoothing over yours as you claw at the floor to ground yourself from the overwhelming ecstasy. he thinks he understands why satoru had fucked his sister now — there’s something so satisfying about corrupting someone. taking their innocence with your dick. “should i keep you like this? on my aching cock forever?”

“y-yes please!” you squeal, succumbing to your body’s biological will, cunt spitting droplets of arousal all over suguru. he’s barely able to pull out of you, his dick on lockdown inside of your core. there’s hardly any space between you both any more, the air vibrating with electrifying lust and the scent of sex.

you coo and cry out for your newfound lover, your ass and the backs of your thighs burning from how hard his skin slaps against your own. you hardly care about the pain for its overlapped with ecstasy like sea water on a sandy shore. “you’re such a good…good fucking girl for me. for your big brother,” suguru loses track of his words, his mind lagging behind his mouth and his hips that relentlessly pound you into the ground. over the sound of sex you think that you’ve misheard him, but then his voice rises an octave and in volume as he continues to moan out your praises — succumbing to your gratifying and ichorous cunt latching onto the veins spiralling around his dick. “oh my precious little sister… taking me so fucking well—!”

in that moment, all of the guilt suguru has ever felt for leaving his sister, for ruining her relationship and fleeing to new york, for thinking of her while fucking you… it all comes rushing back. he stops thrusting, freezing in place above you while his cock twitches along your insides.

“f-fuck i—“ he starts to apologise, but the cry you let out stops him.

“nii-san,” you whine petulantly, fat tears gathering in your lash line. “d-don’t stop! please keep fucking me, fuck me harder. make me cum, make me scream, make me—!” your words are cut off by suguru’s fingers wrapping around your delicate neck from behind, giving it a gentle squeeze. he resumes his thrusts, a little harsher and more carelessly coordinated than before, once he realises that maybe you’re just as sick and twisted as him. calling him big brother while he uses you for a dirty fuck in place of his younger adopted sibling…

you like this just as much as he does.

suguru knows you’re perfect, perhaps even more so than his little sister. he uses his grip on your throat to tug your head back while he fucks you silly, slotting his mouth against yours in a salacious and sinful kiss. “onii-san, hm?” he forces his tongue over yours, moaning into your mouth pathetically as he reverts back to his mother-tongue. “you want your onii-san to fuck you, imouto? make you cum again?”

“please, please, please onii-san! g-gotta cum f’you…g’na cum. c-close!” comes your brainless babble while you fall into a cockdrunk state.

“you beg so pretty for your big brother, sweet little thing. i should fill you up, breed this greedy little cunt for all its worth, right?” suguru’s mind grows as foggy as yours, copious amounts of his precum pouring into you and dripping down your swollen slit. it’s a mess, everything is disgustingly messy — this situation, the fact that you’re so eagerly calling him your big brother, the fact that he’s fucking you because you remind him of his sibling. but neither of you give a shit, not when you feel so fucking good you swear you’re seeing the pearly gates.

“g-god! please sugu, please nii-san, i need it. need you!” the slow roll of your hips contrasts with geto’s ever increasing slap of skin on skin, your mix of arousals crudely seeping down his balls and to the floor below. the point at which your bodies join starts to forth as well.

“is that so…?” suguru hums attentively, grinning ear to ear at how you play into this immoral dynamic. it fuels the fire of lust burning through him, setting his lungs alight and ruining his chances at breathing. his thrusts become erratic, his cockhead married to your g-spot, and he finds himself growing more and more excited about the sight of his cum leaking from your ravaged hole. “you must really like it when your big brother fucks you — hm, lillith baby? do you like how deep i can get, deep in your tummy?” he continues to ramble, grabbing your ass cheeks to peel them apart — letting out a deep and wild gripe from his chest at the sight of strings of your clear arousal glueing the fleshy globes together. “love how you throw it back on me. keep coating your nii-san’s cock in your pretty juices. gush for me, make me shine with your cum.”

you nod and do as geto says, simpering out for even more while you work yourself back on his swelling girth as it shines with milky white. you can no longer keep up with what’s happening, your brain actually lags at the way your faux big brother coos your name while your sexes sing a lewd song of pap, pap, pap. lust courses through your veins and burns at your nerve endings, you should feel disgusted with yourself but nothing makes sense. you feel like you’re high, and you don’t want to come back down. at this point, all you can do is lay down and take it, clenching around suguru’s hard cock where it counts — pulling more precum from his heavy breeder’s balls.

“nii-san…more, ‘m right there—“ you sob, reaching back with bambi eyes that plead for another kiss. you allow suguru to fuck you at his own free will, too weak to keep up.

“right here, imouto? against this sweet spot, baby sis?” you get a little tighter every time he calls you his little sister, creaming around his base and crying out his name as if it’s a fucking prayer. “you want me to breed you that bad, baby sis? want my cum deep in your little sister cunt?”

you beg for it through tears and suguru makes you cum again just like he promised. your third orgasm of the night renders you completely useless, a silent scream tearing in your throat while you seizes up and trap suguru deep inside of your fluttering cunt. it’s so fucking cute to him, how much you gush when you orgasm, like a rushing river that never stops flowing. it’s almost as if the flood gates have opened up or heaven has rained down on geto’s fat cock.

that’s all he needs for his own orgasm to be triggered, he collapses on top of you from behind as he empties his balls inside of your womb with a shout of your name. “‘m sorry little one, ‘m sorry… so fucking sorry.” he says hoarsely, cock pulsing while a wave of his cream lines your pussy from the inside — he doesn’t ever let up, fucking you through it all until both of your sexes are raw and abused beyond repair. “i love you, baby sis… imouto. s-shit, i love you so much.” your hole burns by the time suguru comes down, and you swear he feels bigger now that his dick is swollen with his orgasm.

suguru is still cumming in spurts when he pulls out of you with a hiss, painting your puffy folds white, the rest leaking out of your entrance. “im so sorry… I have no idea where that came from…” he starts to apologise tiredly. “that was…”

you remain silent for a moment, mulling over what to say next as suguru rolls off of you, and lays by your side quietly. you flip onto your back, staring up at the artificial lights hanging from the ceiling. you liked this, whatever the hell it was… even if it meant he was fucking you to fuck his unresolved feelings out for his sister.

“amazing… yeah.” is the response that you settle on.

“that’s…that’s not what i meant.”

“and i know that! you don’t have to apologise,” you cut him off abruptly, keeping your voice softly. “i liked it, whatever weird kink this is, it made me feel good.”

geto flushes hot all over, sheepishly running a hand through his sweaty black locks. “my sister… she’s not seriously my blood sister. she’s adopted and—“ he’s so sheepish and right after ruining you beyond belief that it makes you laugh in pure amusement. “a-and i like you! quite a bit. i know this was… strange… but with your permission. i’d like to keep seeing you.”

“and fucking me?” you tease, tucking yourself into the man’s side while nuzzling your face into his neck. he smells like you, he smells like sex…but you’re satisfied.

his arm loosely wraps around your waist, thumbing over any bruises he might have left there. “that too.”

“what about the gifts?”

“those won’t stop either.”

finally, you sit up, looming over geto as you tuck your braids behind your ear and out of your face. cupping suguru’s jaw, you lean over him and place a somewhat upside down kiss to the man’s lips — then brush over their cherry red bruising. “then you have yourself a deal — now please help me clean up, sugu. i don’t want to get fired.”

it’s his turn to laugh next. “i’ll just take care of all your expenses if you do.”

you roll your eyes.

this new dynamic, this new fling…it’s unhealthy, yeah. but as long as suguru has someone like you to look out for and need him. he thinks he’ll be okay.

getting over his sister was the key to healing. just like his purple nailed therapist had said — so focusing on you was healing him. before either of you can move to help clean up, suguru reaches up slowly and cups your neck tenderly. he brings you down to his level, his fingers wrapping around the silver chain swinging loosely from your neck before pressing a kiss to the amethyst pendant there.

926 notes · View notes

disaster-writer · 6 months ago

Text

Poison (Epilogue)

Pairing: Alpha!Bokuto x Beta!Reader

Summary: You loved love, but it wasn’t made for you… but maybe a certain Alpha could change your mind

Word Count: 2.8k

A/N: This is it! Poison has come to an end (but I do have a fun request about these two that you’ll be seeing soon) Thank you for all the kind comments about this series

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

Beach day.

After four and a half months of long, grueling practices, many victories and losses, and plenty of media fuck ups, the team was finally getting a beach day to celebrate the end of this years season. Though they didn’t walk off with the highest victory of winning the championship, they still got pretty damn close which was enough reason to all come out today.

By the time Bokuto had arrived the rest of the team was already there, some lounging in the sun while others were already in the water… and a couple others already setting up a net to play beach volleyball.

”Oi,” Atsumu barked from his chair, lowering his sunglasses as Bokuto walked up to the group, “Where’s the manager? Thought ya convinced her to come out for once.”

”She’s here!” Bokuto chirped, dropping the bag he carried into the sand, “A sponsor just called so she’s on the phone right now.”

Meian tsked, laying on the beach towel beside Atsumu’s chair. “She’s still working even on a day off?”

”Yeah,” Bokuto seemed to deflate, “They bother her all the time,” he whined, starting to dig out the beach towels from the bags.

”I take it she’s still doing damage control then?” Meian added.

He nodded, unfurling a beach towel, laying it a little ways from Atsumu’s set up, “It looks like she’s gonna be working during the off season to get the sponsors that dropped us to pick us back up.”

”Maybe if ya kept yer big mouth shut during the press conference yer girlfriend wouldn’t have to keep bustin’ her ass.”

”I didn’t know I wasn’t allowed to talk about her,” he whined again, pulling out a second beach towel before laying it beside his own.

”You’re allowed to talk about her, she’s still our manager—“

”Yer just not allowed to talk about yer relationship the way ya did.”

”And not for nothing but she did tell you multiple times to keep it quiet.” Meian added.

”I didn’t think it—“

”Bokuto! You’re here!” A very smiley Hinata suddenly cheered, clapping him on the back with a wet hand, the rest of him dripping with ocean water as well, with Sakusa standing behind him. “Did Miss Manager decide not to come?” He asked looking around, “I was looking forward to seeing her looking casual for the first time.”

Atsumu snorted, “I wouldn’t be surprised if she shows up in one of those tracksuits she’s always wearin’. Ya’ve been together for like three months and she’s still the exact same uptight Beta.”

”She’ll be here soon!” Bokuto told Hinata, before turning to Atsumu, “And she’s not uptight! I already told you Beta-chan is super sweet and cute— we have a lot of fun together.”

”Yeah, yeah, I’ll believe it when I see it. I mean she still calls you Bokuto-san for crying out loud!”

”Only at work—!”

”Kota-kun!” A girlish shout came from behind him.

Bokuto had turned just in time to catch you as you jumped on him, legs wrapping around his waist as you started laying kisses all over his face.

”Puppy!” Bokuto laughed, letting you cling to him like a Koala.

”Puppy?” Atsumu gagged, as all the players either watched in horror or complete shock, the one’s setting up the net even stopping to watch as well.

”Yeah!” You leaned back, until you could see an upside down Atsumu, being braced by Bokuto’s hands, “Isn’t he so cute!”

“Cute’s not exactly the word I was thinkin’” he said with an eye twitch.

”Why puppy?” Meian asked with a grimace.

”Because she always greets me like this!” Bokuto laughed.

”Really? I thought that’s how you usually greet her?” Hinata asked confused.

You sat back up in his arms, “I got the sponsor back!”

Bokuto’s eyes lit up, “I knew you could! Good job puppy!” He exclaimed, now kissing your cheeks.

”This is weird,” Sakusa deadpanned, watching the couple coo shamelessly at each other.

”I take it back, I think I liked how things were before,” Atsumu added.

“I think they’re cute!” Hinata said.

You jumped down from Bokuto’s arms, “You all should loosen up, I don’t know what you’re getting all uptight about. It’s our day off!” you said, starting to dig through the beach bag.

”HAH!” Atsumu yelled, scandalized, jumping up from his seat, “Yer callin’ us uptight!? Little miss professional thinks I’m uptight!?”

“Yup!” You chirped. You looked up at him, “Oh and Ami said if you ever spam call her again she’s blocking you.”

Atsumu flushed, “Well why didn’t she call back!?”

”You shouldn’t have yelled at her sister at that match~” you lilted teasingly.

”I said I was sorry! I even apologized to her for yelling at you—“

”I told you to leave the Omega alone,” Sakusa said, “She’s not into idiots.”

”And you’re still not off the hook for giving him my sisters number Kota,” you said, pulling out the sunblock finally.

”I didn’t know I wasn’t allowed!”

”Yeah and now my sister has hundreds of messages from this dumbass,” you said, undoing the tie of your frilly white cover up.

”Whoa— what are you doing!” Hinata suddenly yelped turning red as you slipped your cover up off and took your hair clip out.

You raised an eyebrow at the orange haired male, ignoring the gapes on your coworkers faces, “What?” You asked confused, seeing as the rest of the team meandered over. “You don’t like my bathing suit? I thought it was cute— Kota helped me pick it out.”

”It is cute!” Bokuto exclaimed, taking the sunblock you handed him to help spray you down.

Sakusa huffed, apparently yours and Bokuto’s idea of cute was a sexy white string bikini.

”There’s been a goddess among us this entire time,” Inunaki murmured under his breath.

”Um,” Barnes suddenly cleared his throat, wearing a blush, “The nets set up if anyone wants to play.”

* * * *

You sighed, stretching out in the sun as the guys all played their beach volleyball.

You had watched Bokuto for most of the day with a silly little grin on your face but now you were debating taking a nap in the sun while they were invested in their game.

That was until your phone started ringing.

Ami was FaceTiming you.

You sighed, picking up the phone. Both your sisters appearing on your screen.

”(Y/N)!”

”Hi, Onee-chan.”

The two said at the same time.

“How’s your beach day?” Ami asked.

”Good! The guys are all playing volleyball,” you said, flipping the camera to show them.

”Don’t they play volleyball everyday already?” Your little sister, Hana, deadpanned.

”Leave them alone, they like it!” You flipped the camera again.

”Mom and Dad are asking when you and Bokuto are leaving,” Ami said.

”Oh right. Our plan is to pack Saturday night and meet at the station Sunday at 7am for a 7:35 train. So we’ll probably arrive around 9. Who’s picking us up?”

”The twins, said they want to grill Bokuto during the car ride home,” your little sister snorted.

You rolled your eyes, “Dumb Alphas. They’ll probably be best friends with him by the time we get home.”

“I’m so excited for you to see what we did with the room,” Ami squealed, “We turned your section into a gaming area!”

Your jaw dropped, sitting up as you squeezed your phone “You bitches got rid of my bed!?”

”Well you weren’t using it,” your little sister said.

”Yeah but Kota-kun and I are visiting! Where are we gonna sleep!?”

”As if the two of you would’ve been able to fit in that bed anyway.”

”You’re staying in the guest room,” Ami said.

You fell back onto the beach towel, “A guest in my own home,” you cried dramatically.

”Sooo…” Ami started.

”Oh no,” you muttered, “I don’t like that tone.”

”Off season’s coming up.”

Your stomach dropped, suddenly knowing where this is going, “Yeah, and?” You played stupid.

”Bokuto’s rut is gonna start,” Hana said plainly.

”You told her!” You hissed.

”Well yeah! He’s an Alpha and you’re a Beta, of course it came up! We were gossiping and were curious to know what you were gonna do.”

You rolled your eyes, “So that’s why you called.”

”Nuh uh— we just really wanted to talk to our sister!”

”I’m not buying it.”

”Then spill,” your little sister said, “What’s the rut plan.”

You chewed on your lip, glancing at all the guys still invested in their game, before quickly turning your back to them and hunching over your phone and lowering your voice, “We haven’t made one yet, we’re—“

”What do you mean you haven’t!” Ami exclaimed.

”If you let me finish I’ll tell you. We’re seeing a heat and rut specialist. The team goes off their suppressants at the end of the month, our appointment is tomorrow.”

”Oooo interesting,” Ami chirped, “So you’re planning on spending his rut with him then?”

”I don’t really know yet, that’s why we wanted to talk to a specialist,” you said, dragging your hand in the sand, “I did some research and there’s something called a pseudo-heat, where they pump you full of Omega hormones, it’s obviously not the same but it said it could help so I might ask about that, but we’re keeping our options open so he might be on his own anyway.”

”Have you two had sex yet?”

”Hana!”

”Well have you?”

You glanced back at the guys before lowering your voice again, “No, I mean we’ve done stuff but not like sex sex.”

”Then you should probably get that out of the way then.”

A blush heated up your face along with the probable sunburn, “It’s not that easy.”

”Why?” Hana asked, “The penis goes in—“

”I know how sex works,” you hissed, “It’s just that he’s… well, he’s—“

”Alpha dick,” Ami said knowingly with a nod. “Well good luck! Hope he doesn’t tear ya into two! Hi Kiyoomi!”

You jumped nearly five feet in the air, turning around to find Sakusa standing over you with an unamused expression, “Hi Ami. You left your hair brush at my apartment again.”

”Oh damn, I knew I left something,” she groaned.

”I can bring it with me,” you said.

Sakusa nodded, “I’ll drop it off sometime this week then.”

”Oh shit, that’s the time!?” She suddenly exclaimed, “Sorry sis, sorry Omi, we gotta go, we’re seeing a movie.”

”Okay, bye assholes,” you waved, hanging up.

You looked up at Sakusa, “You two seem to be getting comfortable.”

”We are, but I’ll admit she’s a handful,” he answered making you laugh.

”Sounds about right. When are you gonna break the news to Atsumu?”

He looked over his shoulder at a screaming Atsumu who just had his setter dump saved.

”Next time she’s here, we’re gonna tell him together.”

”Probably should have told him after you asked her out.”

”Probably.” Sakusa looked back down at you, “Never took you one for pda by the way.”

”I’m not at work,” you shrugged, “And I have a cute boyfriend, let me live.”

”I’m starting to think neither you or Bokuto know the definition of ‘cute’—“

“Speaking of cute boyfriend,” you giggled, watching as Bokuto took off in a dash towards you. You had already braced for impact as he tackled you back down onto the beach towel.

Sakusa rolled his eyes, taking that as his cue to leave.

”Hi puppy,” Bokuto grinned down at you, planting his lips against your own.

”Blegh,” you spluttered, “You taste like sunblock.”

”Well you do too,” he said, dipping his head back down for another kiss.

”Get a room!” You heard Atsumu yell at you two.

”Ami and Hana called,” you told him, combing your fingers through his hair.

”About us visiting?” He asked, laying his head on your chest.

You quickly learned early on into this relationship that Bokuto was like one of those big dogs that thought they were small, so you were often being crushed under his weight.

”Yeah, my brothers are gonna pick us up from the train station.”

”I can’t wait to meet them. And the rest of your family too.”

”Don’t get too excited. They’re pretty traditional and my parents never really took the time to learn how different Betas are so there’s probably gonna be some stuff come up that we’ll need to explain.”

He was lifting his head again, looking at you with the cutest confused face, “Like what?”

”Like… why you haven’t marked me yet.”

”But that’s not my fault!”

You raised a brow, “Oh so it’s mine?”

His eyes widened as he quickly became panicked, “That’s not what I meant—!”

“Relax, Kota, I’m just teasing.”

He buried his face in your neck, “You’re so mean to me.”

You giggled at the feeling of him prodding your scent gland. “She thinks all those stories of Betas bleeding out after being marked by Alphas are all myths because my great grandfather was able to mark my great grandmother.”

”Then I hope she can understand why that’s a myth I’m not willing to take my chances on.”

”Yeah we’ll see. She can be a bit kooky. But I was thinking of asking the specialist tomorrow if there’s any alternatives or if there’s a way to do it safely since I know you’ve really been wanting to mark me.”

”You’d do that for me?”

”Of course. I’d do anything for you Kota-kun—“

He cut you off with a kiss. You giggled into the kiss, wrapping your arms around his neck.

You broke the kiss only after hearing Atsumu yelling for Bokuto to come back, making him whine.

”I get to steal you away all night and all day tomorrow so you should go play,” you said, giving his lips another peck.

”You should join us,” he grinned. “No one but me Atsumu and Hinata even know you can play.”

”I dunno,” you mumbled, “I’ve been playing on a community team of Omegas. You’re all Alphas and pro athletes.”

”Please,” he whined, “You’re really good.”

You hummed, “Will you buy me ice cream if I do?”

Bokuto lit up, “Yeah! I’ll buy you all the ice cream you want.”

You pretended to think about it for a while longer, “Hmm, I guess I can’t say no to ice cream.”

Bokuto cheered, standing up and pulling you with him before tossing you over his shoulder and bringing you to the others.

”She’s gonna play!” Bokuto exclaimed, placing you on your feet.

The others lit up, mostly from confusion.

”You wanna play?” Meian asked surprised.

”Yeah why not?” You shrugged, “‘S for fun right?”

”Yeah but these knuckleheaded Alphas never take it easy when it comes to volleyball.”

”That’s alright. It’s my day off so it’s fine if I make a fool of myself.”

Tomas laughed, “That’s one way of looking at it I guess.”

”Do you have a position you wanna play?” Meian asked.

“I’ll play libero,” you nodded, walking to the other side of the net, opposite from Inunaki.

One side was now you, Bokuto, Atsumu, Tomas, and Joffe while the other side was Meian, Hinata, Inunaki, and Barnes with Sakusa coming back in to join now making five on each side.

The game started with Sakusa’s serve, with one of the longest rallies you had ever been apart of. Already showing how different their games were to your little community games.

You managed to save the ball a couple times, each time making the other’s cheer until one specific ball was hit over by Hinata, aiming to your right where no one else stood.

It was too far to lunge for it so you swept your leg, managing to get your ankle under it before it touched the sand, having it bounce off and sending it directly to Atsumu with practiced precision.

He set it directly to Bokuto who hit the ball, scoring the point before everyone turned to you in surprise.

“What?” You asked, looking at all their faces.

”You play,” Meian said, matter of factly, a grin growing on his face.

You shrugged, “Not seriously, but I used to be one of the top ten libero’s in Japan back in high school.”

Atsumu’s jaw dropped, “So ya can be cool! Why aren’t ya like this at work!?”

You shrugged, “It’s easier to keep my professional and personal life separate.”

Most of them glanced at Bokuto at that statement.

”Yeah, you did a bang up job of that,” Meian laughed, before turning back to the game, “Okay, our serve!”

You glanced around at everyone with a fond smile before grinning, getting back into position.

Maybe you’d start making it a priority to hang out with your team more.

————————————————————————

Completed

My taglist is still open if you’d like to be tagged in future works with these characters

Taglist (open): @staygoldsquatchling02 @tillyt04 @niiiya @silverhairsimp @leonphi @lunamochii

#haikyuu #omegaverse #haikyuu omegaverse #alpha Bokuto koutarou #alpha Bokuto #Bokuto #Bokuto koutarou #alpha bokuto koutarou x reader #alpha bokuto x reader #bokuto koutaro x reader #bokuto x reader

156 notes · View notes

daechwitatamic · 7 months ago

Text

Vice;Grip || chapter 4 || chs

(banner by @itaeewon)

Vice;Grip (masterpost) NSFW - minors DNI Genre: angst smut fluff, fuckbuddies!au Summary: Make it not hurt, you could have asked him. Or, at least, make it hurt in a way I choose. A/N: infinite thank you's to @sailoryooons and @eoieopda for beta-ing!!

Warnings: Frequent depictions of depression, depressive episodes, panic attacks, and substance abuse (alcohol, weed, and pills referenced). PLEASE know that these characters’ relationships with drugs and alcohol are not healthy and should not be emulated. If these topics are triggering to you, please consider sitting this one out.

Section Specific Warnings: language, recreational drinking, depiction of a panic attack, there is a quick moment where you can infer that reader thinks vernon might be actively su*cidal but that is not the case and this is not outright stated, nip stim, dirty talk, piv sex, reader has a high fever but no specific illness is mentioned, a (verbal) fight with some yelling

wc: 6700

Playlist: you can call me in the middle of the night / you can leave before i wake up in the morning / and it could feel so wrong / but i'll still hold on

5 months ago

Five texts went unanswered.

I’m sorry.

I was so fucked up, I wasn’t saying what I meant.

Call me so I can explain.

I’m really sorry.

Please, Vernon.

Each time, they delivered, but no response came. You thought you might feel better if he told you to go away. The silence felt too open, like nothing was settled. Like maybe you just hadn’t said the right thing yet. Like maybe you could - or should - keep trying.

Four weeks passed; you tried not to let it drown you, tried to tread above the rising water of the situation. You swam through guilt, your own anger, guilt again. The knowledge of what had upset him nibbled at your toes like fish you couldn’t see in the murky depths. You tried to pretend it wasn’t there, that it was only seaweed underfoot.

You tried to reason with yourself; you hadn’t done anything that bad. He’d been upset because you’d implied he’d get bored of you someday - even though of course he would - and he thought… you didn’t know, he thought that was an attack on his character?

(You knew that wasn’t why he was mad.)

Or, because you’d implied that he would leave, when you were the one who’d gone silent before? That was valid, you thought. You had been the one to make him chase, when your grey days swallowed you up.

(You knew that wasn’t the whole truth, either.)

You kicked at the fish, kept swimming on.

Three times, you found yourself on the brink of coming clean to Chan. The first time, it had almost escaped from your mouth, prompted by nothing but your own need to hear someone absolve you; you wanted to tell Chan I think I hurt him, so he could say, it doesn’t sound like it’s your fault.

Chan didn’t lie to you, though, even when you wanted him to. He wouldn’t tell you it wasn’t your fault, because it was. So, you tucked the words back in, zipped them up safely.

The next time, he’d asked - “You still… with that guy?” He’d made a vague hand motion that must have meant still seeing, or still sleeping with.

I messed it up again.

I think I liked him too much.

“It’s been like a month,” you said lightly, like it was no big deal. “We’ve been busy.”

His sideways look was scalding. Chan didn’t lie to you; Chan was used to you lying to him, knew all the signs.

He let it go anyway.

Maybe he knew those signs, too. Maybe he knew without you telling him that you’d let the bunny rabbit instincts win - that you’d hid, scared, the second your fragile, broken brain told you to.

The third time, you almost told him all of it, even that it was Vernon. Chan was having dinner at your apartment, helping you clean up after, when his phone buzzed on the table.

“Hey, hyung,” he’d answered, tilting his head to grip the phone between his ear and his shoulder as he ran water in the sink and started rinsing the plates. “Yeah, I’m in. I don’t know, probably in like twenty minutes? Fifteen if I make all the green lights.”

You listened absently as you picked up the rest of the table - napkins in the trash, utensils tight in one hand, now-empty wine glasses in the other.

“Oh,” Chan said, surprised. “Vernon, too? Nice. Should I stop for beer since there’ll be more of us?”

You dropped a wine glass. Chan helped you sweep, and then you ran the vacuum cleaner. Still, you kept finding errant pieces of glass for days. You carried them carefully to the garbage.

It felt fitting, that hearing his name had caused this.

Twice, you called and left voicemails.

Two days after the argument, you’d called on your lunch break. It had rang six times and then his voicemail picked up.

“Vernon… listen, I know I pissed you off. I’d really like the chance to explain myself when I’m not… you know. I didn’t say it how I meant it. Text me. Or call me, whichever.”

After the four weeks crept by and the rest of your texts went unanswered as well, you tried again.

It took almost a whole bottle of wine by yourself to work up the courage, and you hoped he wouldn’t hear the slur in your voice when you told him, “I don’t know why I’m even calling. It’s been a month. I hate that this is just… unresolved. I hate making people mad. I want to know that you know I’m sorry. I want to know that… well. I just… wish we were talking again. I don’t… I don’t know why I’m calling.”

You sat at the stool by your easel for the first time in years, tested your balance, tucked one foot underneath the way you used to. Your hands shook a little as you mixed a purple so dark it was probably actually just black. You covered the canvas, the color of nine at night in the summertime, and stared at it, watching it dry.

When you could, you switched brushes, used a rounder texture to form something that might pass as clouds along the mottled sky. Then, you painted a full moon; it cracked like an egg.

You liked this, you followed the idea, paintbrush hurrying to chase the inspiration, whites and yellows coloring in whatever it was that might leak from the moon like marrow.

The bottom half of the canvas became a moving, living ocean; the blues were eight at night in the summertime but they looked good together with the hour after. You finished with the moon’s reflective path, a jagged yellow streak that dipped and bobbed through the waves.

You walked to the bathroom and washed your brushes, leaving them somewhere to dry where the cat couldn’t mess with them. Then you went back to the canvas, staring at it from a few feet away, your hands on your hips.

You’d done it - you’d painted something you didn’t want to burn.

One painting, one tiny step back towards the life you’d lost - that you’d let yourself lose, that you’d definitively pushed away.

4 months ago

It rained for three days. You lit lamps during the day, suddenly craved soups even though it was the height of spring and the weather had been consistently warm for weeks. The rain just called for it.

It called for you to sleep, too, luring you into bed with a steady patter against the windows. You slept early, and deeply, the cat curled up near your head. The rain beat against the windows like a metronome, helped your heart rate steady, helped your thoughts slow and settle.

You slept deeply, the sounds of the rain pulling you under, and when you were startled awake a few hours in, it was with no concept of where or who you were.

Your phone was still vibrating, jarring; you scrambled to grab it from the nightstand and the cat scrambled out of the room.

Your mom, you thought wildly. Or Chan.

What else could it be, but an emergency? No one else called at three in the morning. Someone used to, but only on the weekend, and that person hadn’t answered you in over a month.

“H’lo?” you mumbled, eyes too blurry to see the screen. You closed them, pressed the phone tighter to your ear to hear better.

No one spoke, but you could hear breathing - ragged and unsteady.

“Hello?” you repeated, more clearly, starting to wake up a bit, starting to worry. You rubbed at your eyes, then pulled the phone away so you could see the name on the screen.

Of course it was him.

“Vernon?” you asked, like you didn’t believe the word on the screen, but you were met with only silence - even his breathing went quiet for a second, like hearing his name had caused him to hold it. Like he suddenly wasn’t sure he wanted you to know he was there.

You said his name again, like a question, and it sounded like maybe he tried to speak but the noise - choked and quick - faded quickly. Your heart started to race, and certainty settled into your bones: something was wrong.

“Hey,” you said, a little sharply, like maybe he needed to snap out of it. “Are you okay?”

Finally, a word. “Dunno,” he managed, his voice thick.

“I’m coming there,” you said, already throwing the blankets off your legs and staggering to your closet to pull at some sweatpants. “Don’t leave, okay?”

“No,” he protested, but the way he gasped the breath after it cemented what you already knew - he needed you.

Or, he needed someone, and you were someone, and you would have to do.

“I’m on my way. Stay there, okay? Wait for me.” You were hopping on one foot as you said this, pulling clothes and shoes on, frantically reaching around in the dark for things like deodorant and car keys.

When he didn’t answer, you stopped moving, stopped trying to find your things. When you spoke again, your voice came out softer, a gentle plea instead of sharp instruction. “Hansol,” you said, quiet. “Wait for me. Okay?”

He ended the call without promising.

You stayed tucked into the building’s doorframe until you saw the Uber pull up; the rain was coming down in sheets, and you had to run to the car, splashing through still water until you could slide into the backseat. Your feet were soaked.

You spent the first five minutes of the ride wiping rain out of your eyes and trying to wring out the ends of your sleeves; the fabric clung to your hands, wet and cold. Outside the car, the rain water ran down the windows and the windshield wipers ran on the fastest setting.

im on my way, okay?

[ ]

vernon you’re scaring me

When the car pulled to a stop, you jumped out as soon as it was safe, bolting through the rain a second time and letting yourself into the building with the code you knew by heart. You took the stairs two at a time, heart flying. You were at once both scared to death of what you’d find when you got there, and refusing to put the specific fear to words, refusing to consider that it could be an option.

“Where are you?” you called, as soon as you got his door open. The apartment was mostly unlit, but for the light above the sink, and a dim light from the direction of his bedroom. “Vernon?”

You were met with silence and you almost choked on your heart as it climbed up your throat. You slipped off your shoes and made your way inside, heading for his bedroom.

You almost threw up with relief when you found him sitting on the edge of his bed, his head in his hands. The light you saw came from his bathroom - the door was closed almost completely, but light spilled out through the crack.

“What’s wrong, what’s happening?” you asked, inching closer. His hands were clenched into fists and bent back at an angle, veins raised along his tensed forearms. His breath went in raspy and came out in huffs, too quick to be productive.

You were pretty sure you knew what this was. You knelt in front of him, ran your hands over his tensed-up arms once, and then nudged under his chin gently with your forefinger, urging him to lift up and look at you.

He let you, his eyes faraway.

“Panic attack?” you guessed quietly. He nodded once, trying to tuck his chin back down, to look away and hide from the shame of this moment being witnessed - being recognized.

“If I put on my breathing app, will you do it?” you asked.

The sound he made was almost like a laugh. “I’ll try,” he muttered.

You opened your phone and set the app up, placing it on the bed beside him, the light from the screen tinting him pink. You heard the familiar, soothing voice begin to recite the directions, and you rocked back on your heels.

“I’m going to your kitchen real quick,” you told him, putting your hands on his knees to push yourself to standing. “Don’t go anywhere. I’ll do the breathing with you in a sec.”

You shivered once as you stood with his fridge open; you’d been in his kitchen plenty of times, but never really perused on your own. Your gaze moved over beer and energy drinks, finally landing on juice. You slapped the bottle on the counter and rummaged in the closest cabinets until you found a glass.

Returning to his bedroom, you could hear your breathing app intoning hold… two… three… four… exhale slowly… two… three… four. It was hard to tell if Vernon was following - his head was still tucked, but his hands clenched and unclenched, like he was trying to return circulation after they’d fallen asleep.

You waited patiently until the breathing cycle ended, then nudged the glass into his hand. When he took it, you sat gently next to him, watching silently until he drank some.

“Where are you at?” you asked, and then started to explain what you meant.

Vernon interrupted; he’d understood the first time.

He usually did.

“Better,” he said, then added, “Not, like, better. But, better. Still buzzing.”

You knew the feeling - you tended to get buzzing in your legs first, then hands, and then it would crawl up your arms and into your chest if you didn’t shake it. When the attack receded, you usually felt it leave your chest first and then work its way slowly back down your arms.

“What usually helps?” you asked. “Is the breathing cycle better, or grounding?”

“Grounding, probably,” he said.

“Start by drinking some juice,” you instructed. “Then, can you tell me five things you see?”

“It’s dark,” he grumbled, but he brought the glass to his lips as requested. You rolled your eyes at his sass and walked over to turn on the lamp he kept on his desk. It cast the room in yellow, all the raindrops on the window suddenly catching the light.

“Now do it,” you said, coming back to sit by him again.

You heard him take a breath. He was better already - hands unclenched now, breathing still a bit quick but not raspy or gasped. “It feels silly to do out loud.”

“I’ll do it, too,” you said. “I see your laptop, your lamp, your cell phone, your dresser, and your very old and embarrassing Blink-182 poster. Literally, Vernon, is it 2003?”

He laughed, closing his eyes. “I can’t believe you’re roasting me right now,” he said, voice still a little thin and breathy.

“Five things you see,” you reminded him firmly.

He huffed in mild irritation. “Hamper,” he recited, finally. “Shoes. Empty Red Bull can.”

You laughed.

“Cologne bottle,” he finished, then looked up at you. “Girl who came out at three in the morning, in the rain, after a month of not speaking, because she was worried about me.”

You spluttered. “I was not.”

He knocked his shoulder into yours playfully. “I have it in writing.”

You let out an indignant breath. “I should have let you suffer alone,” you muttered.

“I’m glad you didn’t,” he admitted, then dutifully drank some more juice.

“Okay,” you said, remembering what you were doing. “Four things you can hear.”

He sighed. “Bossy girl,” he listed, and you whacked at his knee. “Rain. Aircon. Traffic outside.”

You finished the exercise together.

“Now how is it?” you asked, reaching to take his empty glass.

He flexed his hands in front of him. “Buzzing’s down to my hands,” he reported. “Think I’m past the worst.”

“How do you feel, otherwise?”

He grimaced. “Exhausted, honestly.”

You looked at the clock - it was after 4:30 in the morning, almost time for sunrise to begin.

“You should try and sleep more,” you said, starting to rise.

“Stay?” he asked, and you thought you heard a note of, well, panic in it. Like he was scared to be alone again.

Something inside you screamed and beat its fists against your insides, furious and terrified as it felt you melt into goo at his request. Something inside you knew that you were walking into a building on fire. But there was no way you’d stay outside, not now, not if he was in there.

“Of course,” you said, as if it was obvious, as if you stayed over all the time - as if this weren’t, in fact, a first.

He seemed to take in your appearance for the first time, the still-drying patches on your clothes, the goosebumps on your damp skin. “You’re cold,” he said, frowning, like you should have led with that as soon as you came in, handled your needs first.

“I’m okay,” you denied, but he rolled his eyes and leaned over the other side of his bed, coming up with a rumpled black hoodie.

“I promise it’s clean,” he said, a little sheepishly, and you pulled off your damp tshirt and tugged the hoodie over your head, instantly warmer and surrounded by his smell. He left for the bathroom, and when you heard the sink run and the telltale buzzing from his electric toothbrush, you got up and turned his lamp back off. When he emerged, you were under the blankets, huddled warm and cozy inside his hoodie.

When he climbed into bed, you draped yourself over him, a leg over his legs, an arm over his torso, your face pressing against his t-shirt. He wrapped his arms around your shoulders, pulling you in, and you lay in silence for a while, listening to the rain, awash in relief that he was okay - that you two were okay, that he’d let you back in even after you’d fucked it up.

Just as you were starting to drift a little, you felt his chest move under you, and he said, quietly, “I’m sorry for making you come out in the storm. In the middle of the night, too.”

“Don’t,” you said, shaking your head but not lifting it up to look at him. Your words carried out into the dark of the room. “You can call me. You can call me when you need me. I don’t care if it’s late. I don’t care if it’s… a hurricane, or whatever.”

It was too honest. It was too close to the truth. You shivered in the dark again, and you felt him hold you tighter for a second, as if to chase the chill away.

He let the moment go, didn’t chase it down and shine a light on it. But you know he heard you - you think, probably, he heard the whole thing, all the parts you didn’t say.

You waited in silence again, let the moment go, let the rain wash this away, too. Then, you ventured, “I’m sorry for what I said to you, last month. Really.”

You felt him nod above you. “I know. It’s… it’s okay.”

Is it? you wondered. But you didn’t push it - because you were scared that his forgiveness was fragile and might shatter if pressed, because you’d already admitted something you weren’t sure you’d meant to tonight, because saying anything seemed wrong while you were between his arms with the rain serenading you both from outside.

You drifted off; you woke up with his hands on your skin beneath his hoodie. You sighed, eyes still closed, as he refamiliarized himself with your body. You breathed in deeply when his fingers brushed up your stomach and found your breasts, teased over your nipples so lightly that it almost tickled, made you shudder in place.

You felt his lips at the nape of your neck, and that made you shiver, too. He pressed kisses along the tops of your shoulder as he teased one peak and then the other, finally giving in to your tiny, needy noises and rolling both buds between firm fingers. You moaned, long, feeling it pulled from deep within you until he let go, soothing over the spots with warm palms.

“Missed that sound,” he murmured against your back, and you pressed back against him desperately, suddenly sure that if he wasn’t inside you this instant you would completely lose it. You reached backwards, grabbing at his hips, trying to pull him closer.

“Need you,” you whined, hating it but knowing it was true anyway, the need larger than the embarrassment. You could feel him pressing against your ass, too many layers between you, and you shifted against him, hoping to spur him into action.

He hummed, pleased, and slid a clever hand back down over your stomach and past the waistbands of your sweats and panties, groaning low in his throat when he found arousal pooling between your legs. He barely bothered to work you open, likely feeling the same desperation you were after the time apart. You felt him shimmy out of his shorts, then his hands back on your skin as he peeled away your bottoms as well.

You kicked them off of your ankles and inhaled as you felt him slide along your slit, teasing at your entrance. He kept one hand up your hoodie, pressed against your chest to hold you tight against him, as he pushed into your heat one inch at a time. You heard yourself make a sound you couldn’t name, somewhere close to a whine, as you felt each bit of him rub against your walls as they struggled to adjust.

“Fuck,” he breathed, mouth close to your neck. “Tighter than I remember.”

He bottomed out and stilled, that one hand still holding you tight against his body. You closed your eyes and felt the moment: his heart beating against your back, your own pulse thundering through your limbs, your pussy pulsing around him as it adjusted and fluttered, his breath warm and steady on your skin, his hands soothing and grounding as they held you tight, the rain still falling steadily outside. You stayed still, eyes closed, as he caressed your hips, your lower belly, your thighs, as he pressed chaste and feather-light kisses along your shoulder.

Finally, he shifted, fucking into you in small movements, barely withdrawing at all before tilting his hips to push back in. You rocked back against him, silently begging for more.

He pulled out almost completely, and then slid back in; the sound you let out bordered on a sob, your nerves alight and sizzling as he began repeating the motion, each stroke slow and long, unhurried, burying himself as completely as he could. You floated like this, completely enveloped by him, still wearing his hoodie, as he took his time with you, until you couldn’t bear it anymore.

“More, Vernon,” you begged, “please.”

“As you wish,” he teased, and used his knee to move yours, bending your leg and hooking it up around his to open you up more, to give himself more room as he set a quicker, steady pace. Relieved, you matched his strokes, half-tempted to roll over so you could kiss him, but not wanting to lose even a second of the delicious feeling of him stretching you, of the friction that made your eyes want to roll back and your toes curl up.

It took you completely by surprise when he began pistoning into you, holding you in place by your waist, and a gasp flew from your mouth, morphing into a series of moans and cries as his hips battered at yours. Even more so when he grabbed at your thigh and tugged, rolling you onto your back and readjusting himself over you, slipping right back in as you wrapped your legs around him and tried to pull him closer.

His pace slowed only marginally as he grabbed at your hands and raised them above your head. Bent close over you, you finally got what you’d wanted the whole time - his lips finally found yours and you kissed hungrily as he fucked you deep. Above your head, you felt your fingers curl against his, lacing together. You squeezed his fingers tight when you came, his name slipping from your lips as your legs shook and your world went white. Vernon came with a cry, eyes squeezed shut and teeth clenched as he emptied himself in your still-pulsing heat, and then collapsed next to you, both of you panting.

“Shower?” he asked, when he’d caught his breath.

You tilted your phone so you could see the time. “I should probably just go home,” you admitted. “I have work.” This realization hit you - you’d gotten maybe four and a half hours of sleep, and not even all at once. Thank god it was Friday and you only had one day to struggle through.

He nodded, understanding. After you dressed, he wandered after you like a shadow. “You around tomorrow night?” he asked, and you could hear the effort to sound off-handed.

“Yeah,” you said, eyes flicking to his for a second. “Yeah, I’ll be around.”

When your ride pulled up and you stepped outside, you shielded your eyes from how bright everything was in the early morning light after days of gloom and clouds. Around you, everything glistened and sparkled, still wet from the days of incessant rain, as if everything you could see had been washed clean.

3 months ago

hi :]

what’s wrong with your face?

are you insulting my smiley?

again i ask you: is it 2003?

im gonna ignore that. come over?

can’t, sorry. i’m sick

whats wrong with u?

should i start listing?

ha ha. girl stuff?

vernon!!!!

lmao i mean if its not that i figured youd just tell me whats wrong

i have a fever, you ass

It was true - you’d carried your comforter from your bed to your couch that morning and had barely moved since. The cat was on top of your legs and you didn’t have the strength or energy to move him. Through the day, your fever had risen; you hadn’t helped things by refusing to get up, which meant you were probably dehydrated. As Vernon texted you, you took mental inventory of how badly everything on your body hurt - your limbs, your hips, everything ached. The pain in your head was sharp and bloody, and you felt like you were sweltering even though your feet were ice cold.

You felt too miserable to even watch a show; instead, you looked around your living room absently. You were pretty sure you were seeing colors off to the side, hazy swatches of red and blue.

Well, you thought dryly, that’s not good.

Then, your hallucinations took form, because the couch was dipping under you and someone was placing a cool hand against your head. You closed your eyes, leaning into the touch just because the coolness felt nice.

“You need to drink something,” someone told you.

“I had the lemonade,” you said.

There was a pause. “I don’t… think there’s lemonade here. Hey - wake up and look at me.”

You blinked, and looked towards the voice. The world’s most beautiful man looked down at you, frowning.

“Wow,” you heard yourself. “You’re so handsome. What are you here for?”

He laughed. “I’m here to take care of you,” he said. “I’m bringing you water, okay?”

You frowned. “I don’t want water. My throat hurts. I want juice.”

There was another pause, and then the voice came again, from further away. “I’ll bring you juice, but you need to drink water now.”

Then he was back, snapping in front of your face. “Hey, look at me again. This is serious. Have you taken any medicine? I don’t want to give you double of something and overdose you.”

“I don’t think I’ve left the couch today,” you told him honestly.

“Okay,” he said, and you didn’t remember him moving or leaving but he was somehow pressing pills into your hand, waiting for you to place them on your tongue before handing you a plastic cup full of water.

“Drink all of it,” he instructed.

“You’re too pretty to be so bossy,” you grumbled around the mouthful of pills.

He waited until you drained the cup. “I’m going to go to the store,” he told you. “Can you think of anything else you need besides juice?”

You didn’t remember if you answered him, or even him leaving. You think you slept. When you woke, someone was rummaging around your kitchen.

“Chan?” you called, blearily.

Instead, Vernon poked his head around the corner of your kitchen, a grocery store bag hanging off his arm.

“Hey,” he said. “How do you feel?”

You blinked at him. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but what the fuck are you doing here?”

His smile widened. “Your fever must be down a little. You need anything? You still want juice?”

You just stared at him, bewildered. He finished putting away a few more things and then came back out to you, pressing a hand to your forehead.

“Definitely lower,” he said. “Do you have an actual thermometer? I couldn’t find it.”

“Yeah,” you said, still confused. “In my bathroom. Vernon, seriously, what’s going on?”

“Come on,” he said. “You should shower and put on clean pajamas and then maybe try to eat some of the soup I got.”

You shook your head. “I don’t think I can shower,” you admitted. “I don’t think I can stand up that long.”

He held out his hand. “I’ve got you. Just a quick rinse.”

He helped you off the couch and into the bathroom, where you sat on the closed toilet while he started the water and got it running warm, but not hot. You kept silent as he helped you undress, as he held your hand while you gingerly stepped over the bathtub’s lip, your legs aching.

“You okay?” he checked, once you were behind the shower curtain.

“Mhm.”

“Okay. I’m going in your room to get you clean clothes to put on.”

“Hurry.”

“I’m right outside. If you feel weird, just call me.”

You did okay, though, washing up and turning the water off on your own, reaching for the towel you kept on a hook. He came in when he heard the water change, and helped you dry off, his hands firm and his gaze gentle. Then he led you back to your bed, guiding you under the blankets.

“Do you think you could eat some soup?” he asked. “I bet you didn’t eat all day.”

You scrunched your nose. “You don’t have to cook for me.”

He shrugged. “It’s pre-made. I’ll heat some up.”

You tried to eat as much of the soup as you could, and then floated absently as Vernon cleaned up.

“Hey,” you said, struggling to sit up. “I don’t think I fed the cat tonight.”

“Tell me what to do,” he said, pushing on your shoulder to keep you from climbing out of bed.

“You can’t just- he’s particular - there’s a process -”

“Tell me the process, then,” Vernon said firmly.

Later, after he’d turned out all the lights, he came to the side of the bed and checked your temperature again - this time with your actual thermometer.

“I’m waking you up in three hours to take another fever-reducer,” he warned you, walking to set the thermometer down on your dresser.

“Okay,” you said, too tired to argue. You were already half-asleep as it was - you had no idea what time it was.

You barely registered it when he climbed into the bed next to you, just rolled over and buried your face in his chest, one arm reaching around his middle, already back under.

His alarm startled you both. You felt him pull away - you were sleeping in the same position, neither of you had moved - and then the alarm fell quiet.

“Medicine,” he said, starting to extract himself. You whined; you were comfy, and warm, and didn’t want him to leave.

“Don’t,” you whined. “Don’t leave.”

He laughed a little, a quiet huff of amusement. “I’m just going to the kitchen. Then I’ll be back.”

He watched you take another round of pills and drink half the water, leaving the glass on your nightstand. Then, as promised, he got right back in bed.

When you woke again, your bed was empty. And, impossibly, you felt both relief and disappointment. Then, from the living room, you heard a clatter and then a curse.

“Vernon?” you called.

Your bedroom door cracked open. Like a flash of lightning, the cat streaked into the room and under the bed.

“Sorry,” Vernon said from the doorway. “He was pissed that I wouldn’t let him in there with you. I wanted you to sleep. He was mutinying.”

You smiled despite yourself. “You didn’t go home?”

“Wanted to see how you were before I left,” he said. “You sound better. You look better, too - I mean, you looked really off yesterday. It was kind of scary.”

“I think I’m okay,” you said. “Okay enough that I can keep my fever down by myself. I shouldn’t have let it get that high yesterday, I should have stayed on top of it.”

He looked at you for a long time. Then, he clapped his hand against your doorframe, as if he’d made a decision. “Okay. I’ll go home, I guess. Just… let me know if it gets bad, okay? And eat something. I bought stuff for you yesterday - it’s all in the kitchen.”

“Thanks for doing that,” you said, a little sheepishly.

“It was nothing,” he promised.

After he left, you stayed in the bed, rolling onto your side so you could smell the blankets where he’d slept. It helped you feel safer, like you weren’t actually alone.

It occurred to you that you’d spent the night together twice in a row, now. The rules were breaking - the rules were changing.

Your head pounded, and so did your heart. Nothing had ever been this frightening in your life, you thought.

2 months ago

Vernon saw you as sunshine - not like it was your demeanor, because that wasn’t true. More like - something he needed without realizing he needed it, something he realized he needed only in its absence. Something that made things better and brighter, something that could sometimes be too bright. Something that made the grey days feel greyer in a can you understand happiness if you never feel sadness kind of way.

He tipped your head back to kiss you, caught your bottom lip between his teeth, rolled his hips into yours, watched your hands clench into fists in his sheets.

He forgot himself a little; or maybe he just gave in to something he’d been holding back for months - maybe even a year. Something cracked, marrow slipped out of him, sluiced into the rocky ocean below.

After, he held you close, whispered, “Don’t go home. Stay. Jagi, stay here.”

And, he had to give you credit - you were at least honest. You at least told him your truth, in your own way.

“I can’t,” you said, and he knew you, knew how you meant it. He didn’t argue or call you back when you dressed, when you left again, just how you’d done things almost every time over the last two years.

He couldn’t do this anymore. He couldn’t want you, maybe even love you, and only have parts of you. It was too hard, it wasn’t fair. Two years, and he had nothing to show for it. Maybe he’d find someone, if he wasn’t spinning his wheels with you.

He saw you like sunshine. Something that was missed when it was gone. Something that couldn’t be forced to stay, something that didn’t come when it was called.

1 month ago

You could tell that something was different. You’d been around Vernon plenty when he was low - this was different.

“You’re being weird tonight,” you observed.

His eyes cut sideways at you. He’d never looked at you like that - this was another clue. Then his face went flat again.

“I’m not,” he said, and you frowned.

“You are,” you insisted. “What’s going on? What’s the problem?”

“There’s no problem,” he said, tone hollow.

“I’m not playing this game with you, Vernon!” you said, temper flaring. “If there’s a problem, you’re going to have to use your words and tell me.”

“I said there’s no problem,” he repeated, cool and even. Something inside you snapped tight, painful. You could feel it all coming to a boil right before your eyes - the way the boundaries had been shifting, the way he’d called you jagi, the way he’d looked when you’d walked away. It terrified you, made you want to show your claws, and it was infuriating that he was icing you out when you were ready to draw blood.

“Vernon!” you cried. “I cannot deal with this little apathy game anymore! I need you to engage here. I need you to care about something, and not just give me this expressionless, emotionless -”

“Care about something?” he thundered, wheeling on you. It startled you into silence. “That’s bullshit. Because I have been caring about you way more than I should, for ages now, and look what fucking good it’s done for me.”

Stunned, you blinked at him. Your heart pounded painfully, and your thoughts felt staticky and unclear. You needed to get away from him; you needed to process this in silence.

Finally, you spoke, your voice coming out tiny. “I’m going home.”

Vernon rolled his eyes, slapped his hand down to grab at his phone. “I’ll take you.”

You shook your head. “I don’t want you to.”

He ignored this, picking up his keys. “I said I’ll take you. It’s fine.”

You shouldn’t have followed him to the car. You shouldn’t have assumed he’d be mad for a few weeks and then get over it again, just like you two had done more than once now.

He drove you in silence, his face coming in fragmented pieces as he passed under streetlights. You were watching him, silently, when he finally spoke again.

“I don’t want to do this anymore,” he said, still perfectly even.

Tears sprang to your eyes before you’d even processed the sentence, something inside you reacting before your brain really knew what you were reacting to.

“What?” you asked. “Why?”

You knew why.

He just kept driving.

“Pull over,” you demanded, suddenly furious, suddenly terrified, suddenly realizing you were losing him, right now, in real time.

He ignored you, didn’t even glance over at you.

“Vernon, I want to talk about this, pull over!” you cried, leaning forward in your seat, the seat belt tightening on your shoulder. “Pull over!”

Eventually, he listened, flicking on his turn signal and slowing as the car bumped off the pavement and onto the dirt shoulder.

“What?” he asked flatly, finally turning to face you.

“I asked why,” you said, heat laced through your voice.

He shook his head. “I’ve wasted two years with you -”

“Wasted?” you echoed, feeling the word like a punch to the gut. You felt like you couldn’t inhale.

“Well?” he asked, as if to say, well, wasn’t it?

“Fuck you, Vernon,” you spat.

“Fuck me is right!” he yelled, loud in the enclosed space of the sedan. “What are we doing? Just fucking, for eternity?”

You blinked at him. “You never asked me for anything else!”

“I tried,” he growled.

“Like hell you tried!”

“I did,” he asserted. “You ran, scared, every time.”

“Of course I was scared,” you snapped, because you couldn’t deny that one for a second. Your voice comes out choked. “I was right to be scared, and you know it!”

“Why?” he asked, the question falling between you, a landmine.

“Because,” you said seriously, the first tear finally falling. “This only ends one way.”

His jaw clenched, and he looked away from you, out the windshield again. Then, he clicked on his turn signal again, shifted the car back into drive, and pulled back onto the highway.

“Yeah,” he said flatly, as the car met even pavement again. “You’re making sure of that, aren’t you?”

<- Prev | Next ->

thank you so much for reading! one chapter left to go!

167 notes · View notes

haologram · 3 months ago

Text

araneae 🕸️ k.sy

🕸️ synopsis: when you realize your friend (with benefits) actually has feelings for you, a tangled web of lies and avoidance ensues.

🕸️ genre: friends with benefits au ; big dummy dumb idiots to lovers because it's the only trope ever ; ta x student dynamics ; fluff, angst & smut (surprise?)

🕸️ pairing: zoology ta!kwon soonyoung x marine biology major!reader | side pairings: joshua hong x sana minatozaki ; vernon chwe x roh jisun (fromis_9) ; lee chan x jung haerim (weki meki) | mentions of: reader x yuta nakamoto (nct) ; reader x lee sangyeon (the boyz); hoshi x lee luda (wsjn) ; hoshi x choi yujin (kep1er/clc)

🕸️ word count: 18.9k (WE GOT IT UNDER 20K LETS GOOOOOO!)

🕸️ rating: 18+. minors do not interact i beg.

🕸️ warnings: this definitely more of their dynamic/relationship than him being her ta… ; mentions of knife play (none involved), alcohol, pink whitney gets its own warning as does everclear, mentions of un/protected sex (dw it'll get freaky later), mentions of cum, loss of virginity talk, mentions of marijuana (stoner!hoshi be off the honeypacks!!), mentions of STD testing (GET TESTED YOU FREAKS!) [smut warnings: multiple scenes ; mostly hoshi using sex as an apology ; oral (f. receiving) ; unprotected sex (hoshi x reader only) ; face sitting ; hoshi is a hopeless romantic and loves missionary ; they fuck mostly in their respective homes (read: he eats her out in a closet)] i think that’s it! lmk if i missed anything!

🕸️ what to listen to: good kisser - usher ; magic stick - lil' kim ; lie - bts ; spider - hoshi ; home - seventeen.

🕸️ author’s note: just an fyi, the smut is AWFUL and i'm not entirely happy with this🤩 but anyway, it’s finally here, the final installment of the seventeen ta collab!! special thanks to @camandemstudios for allowing me to be a part of this wonderful success, and i hope to be involved in more collabs in the future (also thank you so much for your patience, i know waiting for me to be able to post was infuriating.) enjoy stoner!hoshi…loser!hoshi? loverboy!hoshi…also somewhat bitchless!hoshi.

LAST YEAR – Sunday, October 23.

You were never opposed to a nice Halloween party. Lots of thematic drinks, stupid boys dressed as Ghostface trying to explore knife kinks, and girls going all out with their glitter make-up and tinsel in their hair for the optimal fairy costume.

You loved a good Halloween party, music blasting out of the speakers that were stolen from the AV Club by the softer version of the Beta Tau Omega brothers. Dancing with strangers in sweat-soaked facades, and waking up with smeared face paint all over your neck and shoulders from whatever disguised hook-up you'd taken home that night.

Last night's rager had to have been one for the books, because you have no idea how you ended up in this absolute mess of a bedroom – owned by none other than your close friend, Kwon Soonyoung. The same Kwon Soonyoung who also happens to TA the class you've put off taking for the last two years, and are set to start taking the upcoming spring semester.

The same Kwon Soonyoung that was related to the wife of the Dean, and the same Kwon Soonyoung that showed up everywhere stoned or ready to get stoned. The very same Kwon Soonyoung that made infused pre-rolls and edibles for nearly the entire campus…for free. Even you could see that was a horrible business call, and you were a Science major.

Soonyoung who helped people sneak kittens into their dorm rooms and make homes for them under lofted beds. Soonyoung, who taught a dance class and self-defense class back to back, so he was never free until after nine at night. Soonyoung who made hanging out seem like he was trying to get into your pants because he was just naturally flirtatious (and somehow, still absolutely bitchless.)

Soonyoung who you've kissed twice since meeting him two years ago, both times at Halloween parties hosted by his stupid fraternity. Soonyoung, who has had his hand up your skirt twice before someone interrupts you by asking if he has any weed at hand. He always does, and it's always in his car or his bedroom. He always goes, and a part of you, no matter how into it you may be, knows it's for the best.

He keeps his circle small, of friends that is. You were added to the mix sometime after your first Halloween party (and first kiss together) your freshman year, when he slammed into you in the middle of the economics hallway, breaking your laptop in the process. He'd felt so bad he took you to Best Buy that same night and shelled out two grand for a new one and even invited you out to lunch the next day.

He did not remember making out at all. To be fair, neither did you until the digital photos came back and he texted you a picture of the two of you kissing against the Beta Tau Omega insignia on the wall. You were so embarrassed you avoided him for a week after, but he quickly forced you out of your dorm for a movie night. The two of you became fast friends, bonding over silly little things and enjoying each other's company – but it didn't stop the rumors from flying that you were a freshman stealing a guy from the sophomores.

You remember that he adamantly denied any and every dating rumor flung your way, and even went as far as distancing himself from you for a bit – but when you tried to pull the same move he had earlier that year, he said maybe it was best for the two of you to remain friends from a distance. You didn't speak to him for the rest of the year, choosing to spend your time with friends your age and even dating a transfer student named Yuta Nakamoto, who was also in Soonyoung's year.

When word got around, Soonyoung was pissed – but didn't attempt to rekindle your friendship. He still followed you on Instagram, and still felt a bit of anger puddle in his stomach as he liked photo after photo of the two of you together, biting his tongue at the empty smile you held by his side.

This continued well into summer, and he saw the two of you take a trip to Jeju Island together, before breaking up the following week. Soonyoung heard from your friend, Nagyung, that he was transferring back and neither of you wanted to try long-distance.

The following school year, he watched as you got recruited by sorority after sorority – eventually joining his frat's sister sorority, Alpha Sigma Delta. You hardly had to rush, the girls actively pushing you to pledge and you were far too nice to say no.

You saw him again for the first time at the Halloween party planning, when you and your fellow pledges were tasked with helping the frat pledges in hauling in liquor. You weren't very happy about it, but Soonyoung whisked you away without a word from you, telling everyone that he needed your help with a certain task.

That task?

"Can we talk?"

And you did. You talked, and talked, and talked. He even left at one point to get drinks for the two of you, returning to you fishing through his bag of pre-rolls for the ones infused with lemon balm. He smiled, telling you they were in his car, and you rolled your eyes at it.

You kissed at that party, too. It went further this time – the two of you on Seungcheol's balcony. The idea had been to go up to the roof and get crossed, but it seems a rather tipsy Soonyoung had other ideas. You didn't mind it, in fact you encouraged it – you slipped his hand up your latex dress, you let him slip your panties down your legs.

"Hey, Hoshi! Do you have any pre-rolls?!"

Just as he'd started undoing his pants.

"Fuck, I'm sorry baby."

"It's fine."

You passed out in his bedroom that time, too tired to go back to the sorority house with your sisters. You got out of clean-up, and Soonyoung left you a kimbap roll and an electrolyte drink on his nightstand, with a note asking how you got there 'haha.'

It hadn't been fine. Again, neither of you remembered this happening until digitals were printed. And it was freshman year all over again – except this time, Soonyoung stuck around. Soonyoung defended you tooth and nail, and even dropped a few of his friends that bad-mouthed you. When you asked him about it, he shrugged, "Nothing wrong with kissing your friends every once in a while."

So, here you are. Again.

The third year in a row you and your stupid friend have made out, and somehow, you're in his bed. There's no other explanation as for why your underwear is across the room, hanging off his lamp and why his head is gently laying on your chest. There's literally no other explanation.

"Soonyoung." You rasp, patting his cheek. He doesn't stir, but pouts into your bare breast. "Soonyoung." You speak louder, shaking him slightly as he peels open one of his eyes.

"Yeah?"

It takes him a moment to realize that it's you, sprinkled with glitter from his eye look last night and practically doused in his saliva.

"Oh, fuck." He just furrows his brows, rolling off your chest with a groan. He sits up at the edge of the bed, surveying the room before realizing he's got no pants on. "Son of a bitch. Did we…Yup. Yup, it's right there."

His painted fingernails point at the discarded condom atop his dresser, flung hastily in a half-asleep attempt, most likely. You sigh, letting your head fall back on your pillow with a hmph. He does the same, his fingers only reaching up slightly to close the blinds with a jerk of the liftcord.

"You think it was good?" You ask with a small smile, and he snorts. "It was with you, I doubt it would've been bad."

Silence permeates the air again, before he sees your bare bottom half also covered in glitter. You have a tattoo on your hip that you didn't have when you first met. It's a stick-and-poke kitten. "Nice tattoo."

"Thanks, I got it on Jeju Island."

"When you and Yuta went?"

"Yup."

"Cool."

He sits up, peering down at you with tired eyes. "What'd you see in that guy, anyway?"

"Hm?"

"Yuta."

"Oh. You want the truth?"

It's like being nude in front of each other isn't a big deal. It's like having slept together after years of being in limbo means nothing. It's all so normal, the way you allow him to practically eye fuck you.

"I was sad you stopped being my friend."

He blinks at you, watching the way you carefully pick at a thread loose in his comforter. You pull it out, discarding it behind you with a soft smile. "Does that answer your question?"

"You fucked another guy because I stopped being your friend?" He asks incredulously, and you shrug. "Not just, but it was a large reason."

"You lost your virginity to him." His eyes are wide, and you shrug once more, nodding your head.

"Yup."

"Did he make you cum?"

"Soonyoung-"

"Did he?"

You sigh, patting his comforter. "Not the first couple of times, no. He got better at it, though. It was decent."

Nodding, he clears his throat.

"Do you think I-"

"Maybe. I don't know. I don't remember much, just the Pink Whitney Mingyu gave me."

"Mingyu does love his Pink Whitney."

You flip onto your back again, staring at the glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling. Tucking your hands behind your head, you speak again. "Do you think I went down on you?"

"There's lipstick on my tip."

"What color?"

"Uhh…wine red."

You wipe a finger across your bottom lip, the small amount of residue a bloody, Cabernet red.

"Hm. Checks out."

The air feels…comfortable.

"Wanna shower?"

"Yeah."

"Can I shower with you?"

"Yeah, Soonie."

The two of you stretch simultaneously, before rolling to the side of the bed and standing up. He grabs the discarded condom off the dresser, holding it like a used tissue and taking it to the bin. You dig through his dresser for a towel, and he fishes out something for you to wear.

"Boxers okay?"

"Hm, I prefer briefs."

"On me or on you?"

"Your underwear choices are your business."

He holds up a pair of Spiderman briefs. You bite back your laugh and nod silently, extending your hand for them.

He disappears into his bathroom, flickering lights on and turning the shower head on. "Hot?"

"Boiling."

"Got it."

The both of you get in, and you close your eyes as the water pelts your back. Soonyoung says nothing as he moves your hair off your shoulders and away from your face, pressing a kiss to your forehead.

"You should've asked me." He mumbles, reaching for the shampoo in the caddy behind you. Peeling your eyes open, you look up at him with a confused stare. "Asked you for what?"

He shrugs, holding the shampoo bottle upside down over his hand and squirting some out. "I would've made you cum the first time."

You snort, shoving his chest lightly. "Yeah, well…you didn't. It's fine."

"This isn't weird to you?"

"What? Showering together?"

"After fucking, yeah."

"Could be worse."

"How?"

"I could be that girl you've been flirting with since last year, wondering when you're going to text her back."

"Who? Yujin?"

"Yeah."

"I'm not flirting with her, what made you think that?"

"Stolen glances, flirty touches, you give her pre-rolls all the time."

He rolls his eyes as he cards his fingers through your hair, his dull nails scrubbing your scalp gently. Your eyes flutter shut, and he huffs. "I give everyone pre-rolls."

"Because you're a horrible business magnate."

"No, because I'm nice."

You smile without opening your eyes, your hands reaching out to touch his chest. His body feels good under your fingertips, you realize. "Are you mad you don't remember any of it?"

"Furious." He mutters, gently tilting your head back to wash the soap out. You can't see the way he's looking at the sweet slope of your neck, just barely making out small nips of his teeth across your throat. Your necklace hangs nicely.

The rest of the shower remains silent, as he carefully washes you before himself. His attention to detail is insane, the way his fingers hold the washcloth taut so he can feel every inch of you. He has to commit this to memory.

After, you're drying your hair with a random t-shirt he gave you. He remembers you told him that towels can be too rough for your hair texture sometimes. It's only when you're brushing your teeth with a brand new toothbrush he pulled from his cabinets that he speaks.

"Let me change my bedsheets."

"Don't wanna lay in the sin of fucking your friend, do ya?"

The navy blue sheets are quickly replaced by ones with light grey ditsy floral print, and his comforter is shoved off and replaced by a few throw blankets. He watches as you change his pillowcases, only looking away when he hears his phone ping.

Msg From: Cheol

[9:32am] hosh

[9:32am] who is the girl in ur room and is she missing a pair of cat ears

"What was your costume last night?" He asks, and you snort. "I was a sexy witch."

He smiles to himself as he picks up his phone.

Msg To: Cheol

[9:33am] not missing a pair of cat ears

[9:34am] and it's y/n

Your head snaps up when you hear a pair of feet thundering up the stairs, followed by silence. You give him an odd look, only to hear excited giggles down the hall and the pitter-patter of two adult men coming towards Soonyoung's room. You cross your arms as you hear the door creak open, an expectant look on your face as Jeonghan and Seungcheol's noses appear through the crack.

"Hey, Y/N. Fancy seeing you here." Jeonghan remarks sweetly, and you just roll your eyes.

"He wasn't bluffing." He whispers to Seungcheol, receiving an annoyed huff from Soonyoung. "If you're done intruding on my personal business, I'd appreciate it if you left. The pledges still need to clean up last night's mess."

Jeonghan gives you a wry look. "Can I say something and you don't get upset?"

"If it's about sex, I will punch you in that pretty face of yours." You say pointedly, fluffing the pillow in your hand before throwing it onto his bed. Jeonghan purses his lips, nodding before sliding out from under Seungcheol. He nods his head, a satisfied look on his face. "Have a good…don't fuck too loud, okay?"

Soonyoung barely misses Seungcheol's face with the charger he throws across the room, his giggle being heard in the hallway as he barrels down the stairs.

"Idiots." He huffs, running a hand through his damp hair as you flop onto the bed. "You don't mind if I stay here a bit? My head's killing me."

He lays down next to you, a sigh escaping his lips.

"You okay, Soonie?"

Turning only his head, he scans your face. Tired eyes lined with thick lashes, plump lips covered by the Aquaphor in his bathroom. Slightly unkempt brows and your shoulder tattoo peeking out from the collar of his shirt on your frame.

"Kitty?"

You grimace at the pet name, one he christened you with when the two of you met. He'd been dressed up as a cowboy, and dancing with a skeleton that was stolen from the comparative anatomy students (with the help of Junhui, of course.) He also had a lit joint between his fingers, one that sprinkled ash over your newly healed shoulder tattoo and made you yelp in pain.

"Shit, I'm sorry, kitty." He quickly put it out in a nearby ashtray, dusting your shoulder of any ash residue. "It's fine, it's fine. Just…can I get a hit?"

"Yeah?"

He sits up, leaning against his bed frame before looking down at you.

"Would it be weird if I asked to try again?"

You glance up at him, an amused smile playing on your lips. "Try what again, exactly?"

He clears his throat, a beet red blush coating his cheeks. "You said Yuta didn't make you cum. And we don't know if I made you cum. So…can I have a redemption round?"

You've sat up at this point, a small laugh falling from your lips as you push your hair back, "You want to fuck me?"

"I can just go down on you, if, uh…if that's what you'd prefer." He stutters, mentally cursing himself. You glance at him, eyes scanning his face. "And we're still friends after this? You won't dump me?"

"I won't. I promise. Cross my heart, kitty." He holds his pinky finger out, insinuating you link yours. Sighing, you do just that. "Fine. Hop to, I want breakfast."

He moves to kiss you, but you give him yet another amused look. "What are you doing, Soonie?"

"...Kissing you?" He gives you a confused look, and you scoff out a laugh. "You said nothing about kissing, Kwon."

He gapes at you, "How am I supposed to connect our auras if we don't kiss? I can't get hard if I don't get kissed, you know. I can't properly engage with… her, if you don't let me kiss you." He sits back on his haunches, explaining each point to you. You bite back your laughter, nodding along.

"Sculptors start from scratch, Soonyoung. I am art, awaiting your expert touch." You shrug as he finishes his spiel, and he furrows his brows. "Fine."

Sinking down to his stomach in front of you, ringed fingers palming at your thighs. You sigh, sucking your teeth as he noses at your skin, placing kisses on your stomach.

You scoot back slightly, resting your back against his headboard. He looks up at you as you roll your eyes, beckoning him forward with your hand as you shimmy out of the stupid Spiderman briefs. "Make it fast."

"Won't take me that long, anyway." He mumbles, pushing his hair out of his face before placing a chaste kiss on your exposed slit. "How do you like it? Just tongue? Messy?"

"Whatever you want, though I'm not super into fingering at the same time." You shrug, your own carding through his shaggy locks and holding him in place. He smirks against your skin, "Don't need them."

His tongue swirls carefully around your clit, the motion far too practiced to be out of the ordinary for him. He leans into your soft gasp, the gentle buck of your hips enough to help him bury his face into your wet heat. "Spit on it." You whisper, and he does just as you ask.

The taste is tart and heady, spreading around his tongue and chin as he expertly sucks on your swollen bundle of nerves. His eyes are closed as he sloppily collects your arousal, your whines growing frustrated as he holds your hips down. "F-Faster, Soonie."

He rolls his eyes, annoyed at your inability to relax as he obnoxiously moans against you, the vibrations making you squirm. "You're so mean." You pout, feeling him smile into you. He shrugs, closing his eyes before returning to his ministrations.

He feels you shift, peeling open an eye to see your hand under your shirt, rolling your nipple through your fingers with your lip tucked between your teeth. He wipes his mouth with the back of his hand, using your ankle to pull you down to his level. Your eyes shoot open the moment his hands are on the hem of your (his) shirt, tugging it over your head. You're pliant, agreeing with whatever he wants to do when you feel him grab your face gently, "Can I kiss you?"

You can't bite back your smile, making him roll his eyes as he leans in, capturing your lips in a searing kiss. You feel your stomach buzz a bit, feeling his half-hard cock through his boxers pressed against you. You cant your hips up softly, earning a hiss as he nips at your bottom lip.

"Thought you said you can't get hard without kissing, Soonie. Tsk, tsk." You mock him, before your fingers reach for the waistband of his boxers, snapping the elastic against his skin.

"Take them off."

He snaps his head up to look at you, eyes wide as your hand dips below the waistband, gently wrapping around his length. He sighs at your touch, before pushing the underwear down his legs with his free hand. He reaches for the nightstand, digging out the box of condoms – empty.

"Fuck." He mutters, and you turn to see the empty box being flicked across the room. "Are you clean?" You ask with a click of your tongue, and he reaches in the same drawer and pulls out a folded piece of paper, handing it to you with a blush across his cheeks.

"A week ago." He whispers, and you shrug, tossing the results – all of which were negative – to the floor and smiling up at him. "Well, go on. You have a task to complete, Kwon."

"Are you sure?" He's talking to himself, dragging the tip of his cock through your wet folds, a soft whine from your lips as he circles your clit with his thumb. "Hurry up before I change my mind and tell everyone you can't make a girl cum."

Your threat is empty, he knows – but you see the way he rolls his eyes, easing the head of his cock into your aching hole. He buries his face in the crook of your neck, your fingernails digging into his back as he slowly bottoms out.

"Fuck." He mutters into your shoulder, before sinking his teeth into your skin and giving a slow thrust. A choked moan from your lips is his reward, as he sets a slow pace and drags his teeth across your chest. Your nails drag down his back gently as his tongue swirls around your nipple, making you whimper.

"Soonie.." Your whine is cut off by his hand across your mouth. "Don't, I'll cum." He admits against your chest, making you snort slightly. Your hand wraps around his wrist, pulling it off your mouth as you lean up to capture his lips in yours. It's sloppy but you don't care, feeling him roll his hips into yours slowly as your tongue slips into his mouth.

His whine into your mouth is nothing if not pitiful (read: hot.) Your laugh slips out as he readjusts his hold on you, folding your legs to your chest and fucking into you deeper. The new angle makes you let out a choked moan, his lips dragging along your jawline as he bullies his cock into you.

It's almost like you can feel pride seeping through his pores as you whine into his skin, feeling his lips curl into a smile against your shoulder as he bites down softly. You're sure he's determined to ruin you for anyone else, his hand slipping between the two of you to toy with your clit. The mix of sounds in his bedroom is obscene, but nothing is more embarrassing than the two of you jumping simultaneously when someone bangs on his door. Your hand flies over your mouth as they shout for you two to keep it down, making Soonyoung laugh, the tips of his ears turning pink as you clench around him. Your tummy starts to fill with warmth, the band threatening to snap as he peels your hand off your mouth for a searing kiss.

It's enough for the two of you to whimper, your fingers moving to curl into his hair, feeling the white-hot heat of your orgasm coursing through your body. He groans into your lips, and you can feel him fighting himself as he pulls out, his cum painting the stupid kitty tattoo on your hip.

The two of you are silent as you regain your composure, the room filled with soft pants as you brush your hair off your face. He clears his throat, and you almost instinctively roll your eyes as his question breaks the tension.

"On a scale of one to ten–" "I am not rating your stroke game, this is not RateMyDick.com."

His face buries into your neck, his breath warm against your skin as he scoffs out a laugh. Your fingernails trail lightly along his neck, his lips pressing soft kisses to your shoulders before he pushes off you.

"Pancakes?" He tilts his head, making you snort. "Are you paying?" "Fuck no, we can make Cheol buy." He scoffs, and you laugh fully this time. "Do you think Cheol feels like buying me the greasiest patty melt he can find?" "Whatever you want, kitty." He kisses the tip of your nose, making you scrunch it while pushing his head away. "That tickles, stop. Now get off me, I feel the need to spend Cheol's trustfund on food that will knock me out." He just smiles as he lifts himself off you, sliding off the bed in the direction of his bathroom. You can't help but feel a bit of anxiety pool in your lower belly, hearing the faucet running slowly before he reappears. You quickly smile, "You okay?" "Are you?" He echoes, his hand reaches for your thigh as he wipes you down gently with a damp washcloth. "Yeah, m'fine." He doesn't look convinced, giving you a raise of his brows as he tosses the washcloth to the side, offering his hand to help you sit up. When you do, he grabs the shirt you'd been wearing and carefully pulls it over your head – and if he feels the willful stare of your eyes on him, he says nothing about it.

"Are you having regrets?" He murmurs, reaching for the underwear he let you borrow. You sigh inwardly, shaking your head. "No. Just…it's silly."

"It's not silly, whatever it is you're feeling. We're friends, kitty. You can tell me." He shrugs, helping you up off the bed and leading you to the bathroom. "You're not gonna watch me pee, are you?" You tease, and he snorts.

"Do you want me to?" "Get out." He does. He shuts the door behind him, leaving the briefs on the sink. You sigh quietly, willing the negative thoughts away. You don't regret it, no – but it feels like your slight game of cat-and-mouse has ended. He's caught you, sunk his teeth into you and now you're dead.

You reach for the briefs, pulling them over your ankles and up to your knees while you sit. You hear him rustling around, before hearing the door to his room open and shut. A wave of sadness flows over you, and you wonder if he really meant it. That he wouldn't leave this time – he hadn't last year, after he took your underwear off in Seungcheol's room (and stuffed the pair of pink panties in his pocket – something you never heard the end of when Jeonghan found out they were yours.) Sighing once more, you finish your business, tossing the toilet paper in the can and amp yourself up as you wash your hands. "No big deal, Y/N. Friends fuck all the time. Right?" You hear the door to his room open again, and you turn the water off, shaking the excess water off your hands as you open the bathroom door. He glances up at you, holding a tray with a pitcher of water and electrolyte packets.

"You like watermelon, right? It's the only flavor we have left." He says, and you nod quietly. "Yeah, that's fine."

Flopping back onto his bed, you cover your bottom half with one of the throw blankets as he portions out the electrolytes. You reach over and open his nightstand drawer, fishing through for his Advil.

"Bottoms up." He hands you your glass, and you pop open the cap. "Yum, ibuprofen electrolyte cocktail." You mutter, shoving two in his hand before popping your own in your mouth.

The two of you clink glasses before chugging, mirroring each other's grimaces as you finish the liquid. He scrunches his nose, sliding the glass on the nightstand before laying back and moving like a worm to slide in next to you.

"Are you sure you're okay?" He asks, grabbing his phone from in between the blankets and opening the Doordash app. You don't respond, opting to pull the blanket a little higher as you rest your head on his shoulder. He scrolls through mindlessly, before finding your favorite breakfast spot. The two of you found it during the summer, when neither of you went home and decided to take summer classes. You wound up taking Seungcheol's room while he went home with his girlfriend.

You don't like the wave of sadness you feel suddenly.

He's your friend. One could even say he's one of your best friends. What if this was a mistake?

You feel tears prick at your eyes.

"Can you hold me?" You murmur, and he doesn't even stop to think as he shuts his phone off and pulls you into him, his hand curling into the nape of your neck. His fingernails are lightly scratching at your scalp as he wraps himself around you, allowing you to snuggle into his chest. "I'm scared, Hosh."

You can't hold back the sniffle at that, but you can feel him tuck you further into his embrace. "I won't leave. I promise, I promise you I won't leave." He whispers, and you can hear the waver in his voice. He tries to mask it, pressing soft kisses to your hairline.

"What if this ruins our friendship?" You ask thickly, and you can feel him shake his head above you. "It won't. I won't let it. We can't let it."

He pulls back, his thumb coming to wipe under your eyes carefully. "I don't think I ever told you what I did when we stopped talking that year." "No," You laugh softly, reaching up to wipe his own face. "You didn't." "I slept with like six people that year." He scrunches his nose, before his eyes go wide. "No, five and a half."

"Half?" You question, and he nods. "Does it count? Like, if she went down on me but then her roommate walked in on us and she was too embarrassed to keep going?" "I think so?" "Okay, so six." "You're a slut." "Sue me, I was filling a void." He scoffs, and you just shake your head at him. "You could've just talked to me."

If he’s aware of your hypocrisy, he says nothing. "I am a flawed man, kitty. I have too much pride to admit my mistakes." He sighs, pushing your hair out of your face. "Yet here we are." You say pointedly, making him roll his eyes.

"Anyway, I don't regret this…us." He gestures between the two of you, before clearing his throat. "But, we don't have to speak about it, like, ever again if you do. It'll be like it never happened." Sighing, you roll onto your back, still pressed tightly against his torso. "That never works. I mean, Cheol and Hannie know, now, too." You scrunch your nose a bit at the idea of your friends' relentless teasing awaiting, but he shrugs.

"Cheol owes me for that time I helped him replace his bed frame after Sowon broke it. I still can't believe they're dating, but it makes their chaos like, ten times worse." He groans, and you snicker. "Are we sure it wasn't Seungcheol who broke it? Last I heard, he's a freak." "He probably did, he had a bit of bruising around his wrists and there were cuffs attached to the bedposts." He says pointedly, before the two of you glance at each other quickly.

"No." He tongues his cheek to stop himself from smiling. "I didn't say anything." "You're thinking about it, Soonyoung. Stop it." "You literally let me cum on you."

You grimace up at him, and he snorts. “Sorry.”

“Just order the food, my stomach is about to start eating itself.” You roll your eyes, smacking him when you both feel his phone buzz. He grabs it, and you once more feel your stomach sink.

Msg From: choi yujin [10:49am] hey hoshi…r u busy? can i come over?

“Yikes.” He mutters, and you push the covers off. “I can go—”

“Shut up. Lay down.” He yanks your arm, making you fall back onto the pillows as he messages her back with one hand.

Msg From: choi yujin [10:50am] i am yeah [10:51am] let’s set a date to talk

“What if she wants to dump you?” You ponder aloud, watching as he reopens the Doordash app and adds your food to the cart. He shrugs, selecting an order of french toast. “Then she dumps me. I should care, right?”

You just snort, making him smile inwardly as he wraps his arm around you.

The two of you let your eyes eat, ordering little things and ignoring messages from Yujin. You feel bad, really, because Yujin is a sweet girl and your friend is a bit of an airhead at times.

“I’ll go get it when it’s here.” He yawns, stretching slightly and rebounding to wrap himself around you. “Or, we can bribe Mingyu with that order of eggs benedict we did not need to order.”

“Ha, true.” He nods, shooting a text to the man before tossing his phone behind him. “And kitty?”

“Yes, Soonie?”

“Thank you for trusting me.”

You glance down at him, noting the way his eyes are slightly heavy. You hold in your sigh — carding your fingers through blond locks. “Any time, Soonie.”

PRESENT DAY — November 4th.

Unfortunately (for your achey, breaky heart) — Soonyoung took ‘any time’ literally.

You’d gone home later that afternoon, reluctantly prying yourself from Soonyoung’s arms and wiping a bit of syrup from his french toast off your lip. Not at all put there from him kissing you.

No way.

The two of you had fallen into a bit of a lockstep — he’d decided to add another semester to his schedule, admitting he felt overwhelmed by his classes. You were just happy you’d have your friend around for a bit longer, and most of the other frat brothers felt the same.

However, with great sacrifice comes great responsibility — Soonyoung had a lot of free time, and you were only taking four classes a semester as it was. He would come over to your room at the sorority house, bring you dinner and help you study, and somehow the two of you would end up on your bed with his tongue between your legs. Or with his dick in your throat. Or, a fancier third option — turning the stereo on and fucking like rabbits.

Your housemates learned to hate Novacane by Frank Ocean.

But without fail, this happened at least once a week. Neither of you mentioned it after, with him leaving the next morning with a chaste kiss to your lips and a murmured have a good day, kitty.

Your sorority sisters grew curious, and you admitted to them that the two of you were just fucking around. When word of this got around — because humans love to gossip — Soonyoung came over and the two of you sat down to discuss the dynamics of your…situationship.

And nothing changed.

The two of you admitted to each other that it was odd to behave like this. You were the first to confess that it helped you get your mind off things when you were stressed, to which he agreed. It ended with the two of you agreeing to resort to these meetups once or twice a week — and with him fucking his dick into you so slowly, you cried.

Granted, these meetups did not stop over the summer. Neither of you went home, once more opting to stay on campus for summer courses. This time, though — most of the brothers had gone home, and the two of you could not keep your hands off each other. You reminded yourself to still have to apologize to Chan for fucking in his room.

Not that Soonyoung didn’t already take the brunt of Chan’s wrath, but it was beyond you now.

This being said, your tradition of fucking around on Halloween had been upheld this year — but to the point where when you arrived, Mingyu did not offer you his bottle of Pink Whitney because Soonyoung had gotten you your own. You’d laughed, and Mingyu pouted as the two of you drank together.

Soonyoung found you a little after midnight, and you were barely tipsy when he whispered in your ear, asking if you wanted to go up to the roof. You nodded, putting your cowgirl hat on a rather mopey Mingyu — linking your pinkies with Soonyoung’s as he pulled you upstairs.

The two of you hadn’t seen each other much that week, because you had midterms. He offered you a hit of his joint before grabbing your jaw gently and using it as leverage to kiss you.

That night felt different — he took a bit longer to take your clothes off, he kissed you all over. Not that he didn’t normally do that, but it seemed as though he was trying to absorb you fully. You blamed it on the weed, but let him worship you on the roof of his frat house.

You’d been on top for most of it — he doesn’t usually prefer it that way, Soonyoung was a missionary man through and through. You had noticed his glassy eyes as he ran his hands all over your body, and you asked him twice if he was okay. He nodded, kissing you both times before flipping you onto your back. He’d carried you back down to his room after you finished, locking his door behind him and running a shower for the two of you.

It gave you déjà vu.

That was a week ago. You hadn’t seen Soonyoung since, but a part of you didn’t mind the space. You’d felt a bit more that night, but you just blamed it on the Pink Whitney.

“Hey, pretty.” You look up, seeing Minghao walking towards you with a bag in his hand. The two of you had this study session in the back corner of the library every few days, but neither of you cared to admit that it was just an excuse to gossip together and watch America’s Next Top Model.

“Hey, Hao. How’re you?” You ask coolly, before making a show of opening your laptop and opening Hulu, pressing on ANTM and lowering the volume to mute. He snorts, opening the bag and sliding your portion on the table. “I’m good, pretty. However, I do have some intel from a little bird.”

He looks at you pointedly, and you scoff as you open your food. Inhaling deeply, you sigh before stabbing your fork into the pasta. You shrug, “Okay. What’s your intel?”

“That you and Hoshi fucked on the roof, and there’s photos of you making out.” He bites into a breadstick, and you roll your eyes. “There have been photos of us making out every year. This is nothing new.”

“I’m just saying. None of the photos in years past have had his hands under your shirt so shamelessly.” He shrugs, and you furrow your brow. “Hands under my shirt??”

You had worn a latex halter top. You’d never taken it off, and he’d only moved it aside when the two of you were on the roof to get a full view. “Yeah, you were a sexy cop, right? It’s all over the stupid underground site.”

You glance at him, wiping cream sauce off your lip. “I was a cowgirl, Minghao. I even put my hat on Mingyu.”

His eyes are wide as he chews, before his brows furrow and he gestures at the laptop.

You pause the muted show, shoving your fork into your plate before typing in the website. BetaTOU.com had been a domain purchased by the frat president from twelve years ago so they could share photos without being bitched at by the university. It was also a forum for complaints and suggestions. Everything was neatly kept and tagged with dates to stay organized, and if you wanted any photos taken down they were removed within the hour.

You scroll carefully, eyeing every photo of the frat brothers posted from last week. Mingyu wearing your hat is amongst the first few, and a back shot of you and Soonyoung with your pinkies linked walking up the stairs is right after it. You know it’s you, you can see the bracelet he gave you for your birthday dangling on your wrist.

You keep scrolling — Minghao doing a keg stand, Chan and Seokmin playing beer pong (and Chan getting Iced by Jihoon), and Vernon making out with two girls at once. Slut.

You begin to nibble on your fingernails as you scroll further, finally landing on a photo of Soonyoung and Yujin making out in front of one of the bathrooms at the Beta Tau house. You scoff out a laugh, her hat on his head and his hands, yup, under her shirt.

“Sexy cop, meet a big, fat liar.” You scowl, closing the laptop and jerking back in your chair, pulling your knees up to balance your takeout plate on. Minghao peers at you, watching as you angrily shovel pasta into your mouth. “Slow down, pretty. You’ll choke and I don’t know first aid.”

Shaking your head, “We literally fucked that night, Hao. That had to have happened before, because I literally showered and spent the night in his room.”

If he notes the hurt in your voice, he doesn’t mention it. He sighs instead, shaking his head before his hand finds your limp one in your lap. “Are you guys exclusive?”

“No.” You answer quickly, trying to shrug it off as he squeezes your hand lightly. “Don’t do that, obviously you have feelings for him, Y/N.”

“I do not.” You refute. “And even if I did, there are too many negative factors to being in a relationship with him.”

“Like what?” Minghao rolls his eyes, making you scoff.

“Like the fact that he hasn’t spoken to me all week? Like the fact that he’s a whore?” You say all of this like it’s common knowledge, and Minghao gives you an amused look.

“Not as much as Vernon.”

“Not relevant, Hao.”

Minghao shrugs, sitting back as he tears another piece of his breadstick off. You pout, letting go of his hand the moment you hear your phone buzz on the table. Reaching for it, you hand it to Minghao without a second glance.

“It’s Hoshi.”

“Read it and let me know if I should answer.”

Msg From: Soonyoung 🐯🩷

[4:32pm] kitty [4:34pm] please don’t be upset [4:35pm] can we talk? i can swing by the house tonight?

You roll your eyes, hating the way your nose burns as tears gather in your eyes.

Okay. You weren’t dumb.

You knew you’d catch feelings eventually. It was inevitable — Soonyoung was a good fuck, of course, but…something was different. He was sweet, he was doting and attentive. He soon learned your favorite flavor of electrolytes were never ones the frat kept in stock because Mingyu finished them all, so he bought you your own stash for his bedroom. He invited you to the dance class he taught, urging you to go and watch him dance to Fergalicious with the older women who lived in your college town.

Grimacing at your inner monologue, you reach for your phone from Minghao.

Msg To: Soonyoung 🐯🩷 [4:38pm] why would i be upset [4:39pm] and no, i’ve got things i need to do tonight. sorry.

“The guy is definitely gonna agonize over this tonight.” Minghao mentions, making a smoking motion with his fingers. It makes you crack a smile, and you turn your phone on silent before opening the laptop again, switching back to your show and pressing play.

The two of you avoid your Advanced Calculus work on the table, watching as students file in and out of the library — most of them eyeing your plates of takeout before finding a seat.

You can’t help but think about the photo of Soonyoung and Yujin. You’d never had anything against Yujin, and you never would — it made no sense to resent her when Soonyoung is the one who owed you loyalty.

Not that he actually did, anyway — the two of you were not exclusive. You’d been the one to bring it up. He simply set that in place, sending you his STD panel results every few weeks.

You didn’t have to do the same. You didn’t fuck anyone but him.

Minghao walks you home, the two of you filling the air with chatter of missing Seungcheol, Jeonghan and Joshua. The three had graduated, but had come to the Beta Tau Halloween party to visit. All in tow with their girlfriends, of which Joshua’s was still a student at the University and a part of your sorority — Sana Minatozaki.

“Can we do Thai next week? I know your birthday is on Thursday, and I’m sure you don’t wanna spend it with me.” You snort as you reach the front of the house, seeing Momo and Yerin sitting on the steps with ice cream in their hands. They wave at Minghao, who waves back.

“Nonsense, pretty. It’s a Thursday and I’m tired of parties.” He yawns, stretching slightly. You snicker, giving him a one-armed hug as you bid your goodbye. He doesn’t leave as you trek up the stairs, greeting your sorority sisters as you yank open the front door.

Sighing, you let a bit of emotion take over as a few tears trickle down your face. You jog up the stairs, slipping your sweater off and hanging it on the coat rack by the handrail on the third floor. You wipe at your face, annoyed at the sinking feeling of your heart as you toe your shoes off, shoving them on the shelf by the coat rack.

“Shower. That’s what I need.” You murmur, heading down the hallway to your room. Your door is slightly ajar, but you figure one of your sisters must’ve gone in to borrow something. You get closer, flinging the door open when you reach it and seeing Soonyoung sitting at the foot of your bed with a bag in his hands.

You blink at him, noting the redness in his ears as he takes you in. Neither of you speak, and he watches as you slide your bag into your desk chair, unpacking your belongings onto your desk where they usually go. He stares as you take a sip from your water bottle, before leaning against your desk, arms crossed.

“I can explain.” He starts, and you tongue your cheek. “Explain what? Maybe why you’re in my bedroom? I did say I was busy, Soonyoung.”

“Don’t do that, don’t be mad.” He whines at the sound of his name, and you furrow your brows. “I’m not mad, dude. What are you on?”

“It was a mistake, okay? I was looking for you and she—” You cut him off with a hand in the air, the words you know he hates to hear slipping from your lips.

“We’re not exclusive, Soonyoung. You can kiss whoever you want, you can fuck whoever you want. As long as you keep getting tested and it comes back clean, I don’t care.” You lie through your teeth, and he stands, putting the bag on your desk. You see his hands clench slightly around nothing as they reach his sides.

“I’m still sorry.” He murmurs, and you roll your eyes. Shaking your head, you begin to slip your shirt over your head. “I’m gonna shower. Feel free to stay, or go. I don’t care.”

“Okay.” He flops back on your bed, and you walk into your bathroom silently. Turning the water on, you strip and step inside, basking in the heat of the steam.

What were the two of you really doing? He was going to be the teacher’s assistant in your Zoology class next semester. You couldn’t really risk people thinking you were fucking him for your grades — it would put both of you at risk.

Professor Kwon was also a notoriously absent teacher, with her TAs from the past saying she was rarely in class. However, complaints resulted in simply receiving a large sum of money from her at the end of the year — and you found out through Soonyoung that Professor Kwon was married to the Dean.

And how does Soonyoung know that?

Professor Kwon is his aunt. She trusted that Soonyoung would be able to take over the class because he wasn’t particularly squeamish, and she knew all about his bad habit of sneaking stray kittens into dorm rooms. And his bad habit of being high as fuck — not that she was any better, though her vice was vacations, not weed.

He was smart, Soonyoung. You knew he was — his transcript was full of advanced math and science classes, and you saw one B in the extensive packet. Yes, a packet.

He took Zoology last year, even if it wasn’t part of his major. When you think of it, you don’t even really know what his major is — he just does whatever for the sake of it. It’s like he’s only really here to be entertained — and you don’t blame him.

Your passion for animals is also something that brought you and Soonyoung together. While he cared about the ones in the more vegetative biodomes — savannahs, tropical rainforests…the like. You, on the other hand, were one with the water — you loved fish, cephalopods, crustaceans. You had a small angelfish tattoo on your ankle, one Soonyoung constantly kissed if you were in missionary.

The two of you bonded over documentaries, even if the night ended with the two of you fooling around. You remember the night you watched Aliens of The Deep — you tied him to your radiator because he wouldn’t stop grinding his dick against your ass. You fucked him after, sure, but James Cameron deserved to have his documentary cherished.

Wringing your hair out of excess water, you step out of the shower, grabbing your towel off the rack and wrapping it around yourself. Opening the door, you see Soonyoung lying on your bed with his eyes closed, earphones plugged into his phone. As you lean closer, you hear a song reminiscent of Fergie’s Big Girls Don’t Cry.

Snorting, you nudge his leg with your foot, making him peel his eyes open. He pulls out one of the earphones, “Yes?”

“What are you doing? Why are you listening to Fergie?” You ask, moving past him to rummage your dresser for underwear. He sighs, “Because I feel bad.”

“Soonyoung, you kissed Yujin. It’s not the end of the world.” You say pointedly, feeling him get up and crowd your space. You feel his lips press to your damp shoulder, “You say that, but I feel like I betrayed you or something.”

Scoffing, you turn, tucking the corner of your towel under your armpit. “You fuck plenty of other girls. Why is kissing Yujin any different?”

“I only kiss you.” He says, making you roll your eyes. “I’m supposed to believe you?”

“Yes. I only kiss you when we fuck. I only kiss you in general. I don’t kiss the other girls, not that there have been many since this started.” He states matter-of-factly, and you struggle not to roll your eyes again. “You send me your STD results every few weeks, Soonyoung. That means there are other girls.”

“There hasn’t been for a few months. I just get tested regularly because it’s a habit. And they give me free condoms and lube so I save money.” He shrugs, making you scoff out a laugh.

“Soonyoung—”

“Stop, I don’t like it when you call me that.”

You eye him, “That’s your name.”

He shakes his head, “Not to you, it’s not. You only call me that when you’re mad.” His fingers push your hair off your face, and it takes all your willpower not to lean into his touch. He notices your internal struggle, curling his fingers around the shell of your ear, playing with your piercings carefully.

“I don’t want you to see other people.” He blurts, making your eyes go wide before you furrow your brows. Crossing your arms across your chest, you frown. “You see other people.”

“Then punish me for it. I’ll even let you tie me to the radiator again.” He’s flushing beet red, his hand now toying with a loose thread on your towel. It’s oddly reminiscent of your first (or…second) time together. “I’ll even leave you alone for a few weeks, if you want. I won’t fuck anyone else, either.”

You feel a bit taken aback at his offers, knowing that Soonyoung wouldn’t bring any of it up if he didn’t truly feel as though he’d wronged you. “Soonyoung, I really mean it. I’m not upset.”

You’re lying, but you also know his form of apologizing is just way too sincere. You can’t, in good faith, let him simmer in the guilt any longer. Probably why he didn’t speak to you for a week.

He doesn’t reply, opting to glance at the corner of your towel. He reaches for it, his eyes meeting yours as if asking for permission. You blink in response, untucking the towel on your own accord. He hesitates as his knuckles brush the skin of your hips, making you shiver. The towel drops as he leans in to kiss you, and you notice you don’t mind the slightly chapped lips.

He kisses you deeply, like he wants you to know his innermost feelings. His arm circles around your waist, pulling you flush to him as his other hand holds your face gingerly. “I’m sorry, kitty.” He murmurs against your lips, not bothering to allow you to respond as he reconnects your lips, walking backwards towards your bed.

His knees hit the edge of the bed, and he sits, pulling you onto his lap. The soft material of his sweatpants tented up around his cock, brushing against your center as you lean the two of you back, his back hitting your comforter. He maneuvers the two of you fully onto the bed, his head resting against your pillows as you lick into his mouth. His fingers circle your upper thighs, urging you to lift yourself up.

“What’s wrong?” You scan his eyes, feeling him push you further, your hands now on either side of his head. “I wanna show you how sorry I am. Sit on my face, suffocate me.”

You hadn’t done this yet. He’d asked in sessions past, but you’d been a bit hesitant. “What about you, though? I don’t—”

“Don’t worry about me.” He kisses you softly again, fingers tapping the backs of your thighs to urge you higher. “Are you sure?”

“If I die, I die happy.” He shrugs, and you sigh as you inch up, before grabbing your headboard for moral support. You sink down slowly, feeling his nose bump your clit slightly. You hover for a moment, hearing him sigh before pulling you down the rest of the way.

His tongue is flat against your pussy, making you shiver and clench around nothing. He licks at you with precision, gathering your arousal before wrapping his lips around your clit with a soft suck. You bite back a whine, your hips grinding against his face involuntarily. He moans against you, digging his dull nails into your hips.

You continue rocking against him, soft moans from your lips as he eagerly takes whatever you give him. Your fingers card through his hair, tugging gently as you feel the heat start to pool in your belly. His hand wanders up, skilled fingers rolling your nipple between them at the same pace of your clit being swirled by his tongue.

“Soonie—” You whimper, canting your hips a little faster as he runs his hands all over your body, groaning against your pussy. Your thighs clench around his head as you cum, feeling slightly overstimulated as his tongue fucks into you slowly. You try to get up, but your shaky legs betray you as Soonyoung pulls you back down, the slurping sound from his mouth obscene as you twitch in his hold. “S’too much…”

Pushing his head back, you pry yourself out of his hold, shakily settling yourself next to him. You take a glance at him, his eyes closed as the back of his hand wipes his mouth. “Am I forgiven?”

“You were never in trouble, Soonie.” You roll your eyes, flopping your head against his shoulder. He scoffs, “You’re my best friend. I’m pretty sure I can tell when you’re upset with me.”

Hearing you huff, he knows he’s right. He smiles, pressing a kiss to your forehead. “You don’t need to finish?” You murmur, eyeing the strain of his cock against his sweatpants.

He shakes his head, “I don’t deserve it right now. I hurt you, and that was shitty of me.”

You sigh. “So what does this mean?”

“It means I want to be exclusive. You’re the only girl I hang out with, anyway.” He shrugs, a pained look on his face as adjusts himself in his pants. You feel some guilt settle in your stomach at this, and you shake your head. “I don’t think we should keep doing this, actually.”

He glances down at you, before you sit up and slide off your bed. You move back to your dresser, digging out random clothes and pulling them on as he stares.

“What?”

“I want to focus on school.” You wince as the sentence slips past your lips. It wasn’t a lie, you did want to — but it was also because he’d be your TA next semester. Better to cut the cord now than continue to put yourselves at risk of being found out.

“So you’re…what? Are we still friends?”

You look over at him, an obviously hurt expression on his face as he brings his knees to his chest. “Of course we’re still friends, Soonie.”

He nods, tonguing his cheek as he stands up. “Sure thing. I’m sorry if my expectations made you uncomfortable.” His smile doesn’t reach his eyes as he grabs his shoes at the door, and you blink at him.

“You’re not…You’re leaving?” You gape, and he gives you a quizzical look. “What, did you want to cuddle?”

It doesn’t have any malice behind it. His tone is level, it’s friendly. But you can’t help and feel a bit small at his words. He gives you a curt nod. “I’ll see you later, Y/N.”

And he closes the door behind him. You scoff out a breath, feeling a tear spill down your cheek as you run your hands through your hair. It’s still damp at the roots, and you just shake your head to yourself as you remember the bag he set on your desk.

You click your tongue at it, before ripping it open. It’s a Jellycat octopus in blue and a handmade card. It has doodles of fish all over it in colored pencil, and an angelfish holding a badly drawn tiger in the corner. You open it to see his handwriting messily scrawled across the cardstock.

Hi, Kitty.

I assume by this point you’ve seen the photos on BTOU, and I’m sorry that I’ve been avoiding you all week. I saw them on Wednesday morning right when I was going to leave to ask if you wanted to get breakfast with me, so I made the dumbass decision to just ghost entirely. It was an asshole move and I’m sorry.

I did want to talk to you, though. And it’s totally fine if you don’t agree, I just figured I’d give it a shot?

The two of us are…relatively close. I mean, I can’t think of anyone I trust more than you…you’ve seen me in various stages of my life. Uhm, I’m not ready for a relationship but I’m also unsure if we’re on the same page about that, so I wanted to ask if we could, for the rest of the year, make this an exclusive…situation? I don’t see other people and neither do you?

I guess that’s like dating. We can talk about it more in person, if you want. Maybe we can come to a consensus and I don’t know. But you get me, right? You always get me.

Anyway. I’m sorry. And I hope you’ll accept this card and the little octopus guy as a token of my sincere appreciation for you. I named him Inky Minaj, but feel free to change it.

Yours (hopefully),

Hoshi ♡🐯

You don’t realize you’re crying until you see a tear drop right onto his doodle of a tiger next to his name. The octopus stares back at you, and you sniffle as you put it on your bed.

This is for the best. It has to be. Kwon Soonyoung cannot like you and you cannot like him.

January 13th.

“Hello, everyone! I am Professor Kwon, and this is Zoology!”

The dreaded class was finally here.

You and Soonyoung were a bit awkward at first — sure, the initial sting of rejection made him distance himself a bit, but he got over it pretty quickly. He came over to the house often, bringing takeout with him and new documentaries he’d rented from the university’s library. He always stayed at least a foot away from you — in early December, he’d accidentally kissed you in greeting, leading the rest of the hangout to be full of unresolved tension.

So much so that he left early.

Aside from that incident, it was like the two of you had never seen each other naked. You both scrunched your noses at your friends’ jabs, leaving them with confused looks. Minghao was the one to tell the frat brothers the news that the two of you were no longer sleeping together.

Minghao also knew that you had a raging heart boner for Soonyoung. He was all you’d talked about in the passing weeks — Minghao even subjected his family to your babble about Soonyoung when he answered your FaceTime calls over winter break. He sighed as you droned on about the man, but allowed it anyway.

“This is my Teacher’s Assistant, Kwon Soonyoung. You will be seeing more of him than of me this year, I have a very crammed schedule. This being said, Soonyoung will go through the syllabus with you and the first lesson of the semester. I will be here on Wednesday, so don’t fret! You still get to have one-on-one time with me.” Professor Kwon smiles, and you glance at Soonyoung, who is already looking at you. You raise your brows, and he shrugs, making a smoking motion.

He’s stoned.

Professor Kwon bids her goodbyes, leaving a very stoned Soonyoung to take over her class. A few girls in the front (that you don’t recognize) are giggling as he passes out the paper syllabus.

“Kitty.” He murmurs with a soft smirk as he slides your paper on your desk, and you scowl. “Shut up.”

He just smiles as he starts walking around and talking about the syllabus — how you can only miss six classes this semester but if you’re nice, he’ll count you present anyway. How his favorite lesson is the one about the three-spined stickleback fish, and how it’s refreshed at least three or four times throughout the course. He talks about how he fully believes that the Bubonic Plague was an experiment made by the government to kill innocent rodents and that his office hours are generally whenever, just shoot me an email.

The class wraps up rather quickly, with Soonyoung assigning reading based on the ethology of geese. You snort at it, hiking your bag over your shoulder as everyone starts to file out. He grabs your elbow as you walk past him, earning a few looks from the girls who had been giggling earlier — and drapes his arm over your shoulders as the two of you saunter out together.

“What the fuck was that for?” You ask as he walks the both of you towards your place, and he shrugs. “They were staring a little hard.”

“What, so I’m your saving grace?” You roll your eyes, but don’t push him away as he tucks you further into his chest. Soonyoung had always been touchy, so you didn’t care. “Of course. I don’t want to deal with a bunch of sophomores hitting on me.”

“Oh, because Kwon Soonyoung, frat boy and resident weed dealer is sooo desirable.” You mock, and he snorts. “I mean, you fucked me for a year, I would hope I’m desirable.”

You elbow him right in the ribs, making him let out a pained noise as he smacks your arm lightly. “What’d you do that for?! I’m not wrong!”

“Whatever! Anyway, are you going to the stoplight party this weekend? We’re hosting.” You ask, fishing your phone out of your pocket to send him the invite. “Oh, I’m not sure. I'm gonna take Seungkwan out for dinner on Thursday, and I’m probably hanging out with Luda on Saturday.”

He stretches, and you feel your stomach sink.

Lee Luda was what the campus referred to as a frat sweetheart. Her family had a huge legacy of going to SNU, and her father actually owned the property where the Alpha Psi Delta fraternity house was built. She was very close with the entire fraternity and had been involved in their charity and party planning since she was a freshman, her ex-boyfriend being a junior and her brother a senior when she was elected.

She was very sweet, very smart and extremely pretty. You'd gotten to know her a bit last year, she was a Biology major and you shared a lot of the same courses.

“Oh. They’re throwing a birthday party for Juyeon, right?” You nod as he does the same, before looping your arms together. “Come on, I’ll treat you to lunch and you can tell me how good I did on my first day as your TA.”

“What is it with you and ratings?”

He just laughs, pulling you closer again. You pretend your cheeks don’t burn at the proximity and the soft scent of his cologne.

January 18th.

It seemed the first week back from holidays really did a number on the student body — nearly everyone who came to the stoplight party hosted by your sorority was white-girl wasted. Seungkwan profusely cried over the little cupcake you presented him, apologizing for his birthday being on a Thursday. He took it and you later found him with strawberry frosting all over his chin and mouth.

It was well past two in the morning, and the party was still going pretty strong. You, Momo and Yerin were running around topping off drinks and manning stations, and you had sent Chan and Minghao to get more liquor from the store down the road. They were the only sober ones amongst the Beta Tau brothers, and Mingyu was dancing on the coffee table with Wonwoo and Jun — all of them wasted off Pink Whitney.

That damn Pink Whitney.

You roll your eyes as you clean up, humming along to Kid Cudi when you sense a disturbance in the force.

“Hey!” You hear someone shout over the music, and you turn to see Soonyoung, Luda and Juyeon next to you. Soonyoung and Luda have grabbed yellow cups, and Juyeon has a red one. You see a few more of the Delta brothers stroll in behind them, helping themselves to the alcohol on your table.

“Hey! What’re you guys doing here? I thought you were celebrating Juyeon!” You shout back, and Luda shrugs. “Yeah, well Sangyeon and Hyunjae said you guys were having a stoplight! You don’t mind, right? Hyunjae said you were cool!”

You shake your head, gesturing to the bottles. “Not at all! Help yourselves, but Minghao and Chan should be back soon with more Malibu and Svedka.”

Luda gives you a cheery smile and grabs for the Everclear, and you bid the men behind her a quick goodbye as you continue into the kitchen to clean up. You grimace at the sight of vomit in the corner by your pantry, and you open your fridge to get out some baking soda when you see Soonyoung’s feet in front of you.

You glance up at him, seeing a quizzical look as you grab the baking soda. “What’s up, Hosh?” You ask, before squatting by the vomit to sprinkle the baking soda on it.

“You’re wearing red!” He says, gesturing to your red dress. You look down at the dress you were wearing — you’d bought it last year, and wore it to his birthday dinner. He’d stared at you the entire evening before dragging you out to his car and fucking you in the parking lot.

Safe to say that neither of you went back into the restaurant.

“Oh, this? I just don’t feel like flirting tonight.” You shrug, and he leans against the counter when you speak again. “You have a yellow cup! Why?”

“Seeing someone here and there.” He shrugs, and you nod, choosing to swallow your questions. When the fuck did he even find the time?

“Nice!” You exclaim, putting the wet sign over the vomit and deciding to deal with it later. You stand, tugging your dress down your legs a bit more before giving him a curt nod and exiting the kitchen.

Minghao and Chan had arrived and helped Yerin and Momo haul in the liquor, stacking it across the table in the dining area. Hyunjae and Sangyeon had joined Vernon, Jihoon and Seokmin in playing beer pong on the second floor, and you hauled ass up the stairs to join in. Vernon is holding a lit joint between his fingers as he makes the bitch cup, a scowl on his face as Sangyeon chuckles.

“Hey, Vern. Can I take a hit?” You tap his shoulder, and he hands it to you before ruffling your hair. “Hey, pretty. Why’re you here? Not having fun downstairs?”

“Shut up and drink your bitch cup.” You roll your eyes, and he smirks as he downs the cup. He rearranges his cups into a different shape, and Sangyeon sinks a few as you finish off Vernon’s spliff.

“Damn, what’s got you so stressed out?” He asks, taking what's left and popping it between his lips. “Ugh, nothing. I’m just annoyed.” You roll your eyes as their game ends, and you grab a few beer cans to start a new one.

“I didn’t know you were dating someone, Y/N!” You hear Hyunjae call from the end of the table, and you just smile and shake your head. “I’m not! I just don’t feel like dry humping a stranger tonight.”

“I’m not a stranger.” Sangyeon says, and you look up at him. He’s peering at you over his cup, the green reflecting off his silver watch. “You’re right.” You shrug, and finish pouring the cups.

“Way to be subtle.” Vernon rolls his eyes, and you smirk. “Don’t worry, Nonnie. You’ll find someone tonight.” Pinching his cheek, you shove him with your hip and settle between him and Jihoon, who steadies you with his hand ghosting over your back. Seokmin makes the first shot for the other team, the ball bouncing into the first cup.

You play for a bit, grimacing every time you down the cups of beer. Eventually, you decide it’s time to just chill in the lounge, and Sangyeon, Jihoon and Hyunjae agree. Seokmin and Vernon admit they’re probably going to raid the fridge for snacks, and you give them a go-ahead as the other men follow you up to the lounge on the third floor.

You see a few of your sisters there, including Jennie and one of the graduated Beta Tau Sigma brothers, Taehyung. They’re canoodling on one of the beanbags, and she glances up at you as you flop onto the couch on the other side of the room.

“Hey, Y/N.” She calls gently, and you look up to see her holding her thumb up, moving it down to see how you’re feeling. You hold a thumbs up, and she nods, returning to her boyfriend. The guys that came with you are sprawled across the floor, with Sangyeon being the only one on the couch with you.

“The room is spinning.” Hyunjae pouts, and you let out a laugh when you hear the door open, looking up to see Vernon and Seokmin with their hands full of snacks, and Soonyoung in after them. He holds up a bag of pre-rolls, and you hold your hand out.

“Is that how you ask, kitty?” Soonyoung rolls his eyes, fishing one out as you kneel on the couch, pushing the window behind you open. He tugs your skirt down a bit, and you turn back around to see him lighting the joint for you. “It’s lemon balm. I know you like those the best.”

“Thanks, Kwon.” You nod, taking it between your fingers as he sits on the floor, moving his head to be cradled by your knees. Your heels dig into his chest, and he peels off your shoes and tossed them to the side. Jennie and Taehyung slip out, with Jennie giving you a thumbs up once more. Once you mirror it, she’s out.

The group is quiet, seemingly trying to come down from their drunkenness when Sangyeon speaks. “Why kitty?”

“Huh?” Soonyoung looks up, and Sangyeon takes a sip from his cup. “You called Y/N kitty. Why?”

“Oh. I was a cat at the Halloween party we met at.” You shrug, and you notice Soonyoung’s brows furrow a bit. “That, and she has a kitty tattooed on her hip.”

You swat his shoulder, making him giggle when Sangyeon nods with wide eyes. “And how do you know that?”

“They used to fuck.” Vernon speaks up, popping a cheese curl into his mouth with the utmost nonchalant shrug. You gape at him, and he shoots you a wink. “Thanks, Hansol. Air out my business, why don’t you?”

“Okay. She also-”

Jihoon claps his hand over Vernon’s mouth, and you roll your eyes as you offer the joint around the group. Hyunjae declines, handing it to Sangyeon. He gives you a glance, seeing you’re already looking at him.

"Isn't Hoshi the Zoology TA? Can't you guys get in some kind of trouble for that?" Hyunjae calls from the floor, making Soonyoung roll his eyes and Sangyeon clears his throat next to you. You glance at him, a stoney look on your face as you gesture to the lit joint in his hand. You're sure they want an answer – but if Soonyoung doesn't say anything, you sure as shit won't.

Taking the hit, Sangyeon passes it back to you and blows the smoke up and out. “That’s really smooth. Do you make these yourself, Hosh?”

“Yeah. It’s just a hobby.” He shrugs, lighting his own up and holding it between his lips. You roll your eyes, “This is also the same guy who rescues kittens for freshmen, teaches a dance class from seven to eight and a self-defense class from eight to nine every Tuesday and Thursday.”

“Oh, that’s actually pretty cool. How much do you sell for?” Sangyeon asks, his eyes a little lower as he looks at you instead of Soonyoung, who is glaring. “I don’t, it’s free.”

“I tell him that he’s a horrible business magnate, Mr. President.” You tilt your own joint at him, and he smiles. “Mr. President?”

“Yeah! Aren’t you the Alpha Psi Delta President? I thought I heard about that from Luda last year.” You rest your head on the couch cushion, and notice the way he bites his lip as his eyes trail your body, before he meets your eyes with a nod.

You’re not the only one who notices.

Clearing his throat, Vernon tries to cut the weird tension in the air. “How about we play a game? Truth or dare, or something?”

“I’m the only girl up here, you better not make me do weird shit or your ass is grass.” You threaten, making him smile widely. “Why, I’d never—”

“Shut up, you were the same one who dared her to streak last year.” Seokmin shoves Vernon, and the group hears the door open — Luda, Minghao and Chan trail in with Yerin and Momo in tow.

“Hey, guys!” Luda greets, and you feel Soonyoung nearly rip himself away from you to greet her. “Hey, Lu.”

“What’re we doing up here?” She asks, taking a seat next to Soonyoung. You grimace inwardly, before feeling Sangyeon’s hand on your knee. He gives you a look that says fix your face, and you inch closer to him now that Soonyoung is literally feet away from you.

“We were gonna do a round of truth or dare.” Jihoon pipes up from the floor, and you smile as the guy covers his eyes. Luda grins, “I’m in! Who’s gonna start?”

You wait until everyone settles, but you catch Minghao’s eyes. He gives you a confused look, his gaze darting to Sangyeon’s hand on your lap. You give him a hard look, and he just shakes his head as Hyunjae sits up to start the game.

“Okay, Luda.” He clears his throat, and she sits up at the sound of her name. “Truth or dare?”

“Truth.”

“Boring!” Momo pipes up, and a soft giggle spreads through the group. Sangyeon inches a little closer to you, his thigh now touching yours as he rests his hand a little higher on your leg. It’s subtle enough. “What’s your body count?”

She snorts. “Four. Isn’t yours in the double digits?” She teases Hyunjae, who scoffs. “Uh, not that it’s any of your business, but my body count is three.”

The group laughs again, and you find yourself leaning your head against Sangyeon, who props his arm behind you. “Okay, uhm…Y/N!”

You hear Luda call your name, and you give her a wiggle of your brows. “Hit me.”

“Truth or dare?”

“Let’s go…truth. I’ll play it safe.” You shrug, and she smiles. Almost like a cheshire cat, like she knows all your secrets. “Would you sleep with anyone in this room?”

You look around, getting a suggestive brow wiggle from Seokmin and bursting into laughter. “Yeah. I mean, I have. It wouldn’t be weird, I think.”

“Oh, really? Who?” She probes, and you shake your finger at her. “It’s Truth or Dare, not Truth and Explain Yourself.”

She laughs, and you look around the room for your target. “Vernon, truth or dare?”

“I’ll bite, give me a dare.” He pops another cheese curl in his mouth, and you feel your lips tug up at the corners. “I dare you to text Jisun and tell her your feelings for her.”

“Is this payback for last year? It was either that or skinny dipping.” He says pointedly, and you only shrug. “Text her or you’re a wimp.”

“It’s like, twenty degrees outside, Y/N. What if I just streak and risk getting pneumonia?” He feigns distress, and you feel Sangyeon’s fingers gently caressing your shoulder. Is this foreplay?

“Alright, we can do a dare for a dare. Give me something to do, and if I chicken out, you don’t have to text her.” You take a hit of your joint, leaning forward and feeling Sangyeon’s arm fall down your back, fingers now holding your hip lightly. Vernon sees this, clicking his tongue. “Fine. I dare you to makeout with Sangyeon.”

You blink at Vernon, hearing the group collectively ooooh. You scoff, “That’s it? That’s tame as hell, Hansol.”

“You can’t fuck him.” He states, and you smile. “I’m only a woman, Vernon. I have needs.”

“Is anyone going to ask Sangyeon if he’s okay with that?” Luda interjects, and you can sense a bit of a bite in her tone. Sangyeon shrugs, “If Y/N’s cool then I’m cool.”

“How will we even know if they made out? They could lie.” She tries, and you smile at her. “I’m not shy, if you want to watch or something.” You tease, watching her cheeks turn beet red. She shakes her head, and Vernon gives you a pointed look.

“So? What do you say, pipsqueak?”

“Prepare to admit your feelings to the love of your life, Chwe.”

You get up, tugging Sangyeon up with you. You feel a pair of eyes on you, but when you glance over your shoulder, you see Soonyoung glaring at the two of you as you open the door. “We’ll be back.”

You lead him to your bedroom down the hall, hearing him clear his throat as you push the door open and are met with darkness. You fumble with the lamp on your desk for mood lighting, and he smiles down at you.

“We don’t have to.” He murmurs, tucking a lock of your hair behind your ear. His fingers aren’t as soft as Soonyoung’s. You shake your head, “If you’re down, I’m down. It’s been a while.”

He just smiles, tilting your head to meet your lips halfway. His lips are softer…you kind of miss the chapped feeling. You sigh into the kiss, your hands moving to his waist as he moves the two of you towards your bed. His hands trail down your waist, cupping your ass as he falls back onto your bed, pulling you on top of him. He groans softly as you adjust in his lap, and you feel his hips cant up.

"Sorry, sorry." He mumbles, making you laugh. "Eagerness is never a bad thing." The kissing is fine. It's a little desperate, a little messy as you grind down on him, but it's not Soonyoung. You pull away, a pout on your lips as the heady feeling of him against your core fills your head. "Not into it, huh?" He asks, and a part of you thinks he's admitting to it, too.

"You like Luda, don't you?" You ask pointedly, and his eyes go wide. "How the fuck–" "Kind of hard not to notice when she's jumping the gun to save you from my grasp." You laugh, rolling off him to stare at your ceiling. Your arm brushes something soft, and you glance up to see the Jellycat octopus from Soonyoung, Inky Minaj.

"How long did you and Hoshi sleep together?" He asks, and you sigh. "About a year. We were playing some stupid game of cat and mouse for my first three years as a student here, then we fucked at the Halloween rager the frat holds every year. Neither of us remembered it, so we fucked the next morning and the rest is history."

He looks at you, and you peer at him through low eyes. "What?" "Nothing. Just kind of sounds like you like him." He says matter-of-factly, and you snort. "Yeah. Yeah, I do. I kind of lied to myself for a while. I guess…I think once I realized that maybe he was starting to like me, I stopped it. I don't know. And him being my TA for Zoology definitely made me want to tread lightly."

He nods, shifting uncomfortably. "Luda slept with him a few weeks ago. Around my birthday, I think." You shoot up almost immediately, turning to face him. "Luda and Soonyoung slept together? When? When is your birthday?" His face contorts into one that speaks I fucked up. "You didn't know? I thought you guys were like, best friends?"

"When, Sangyeon?" You probe, slapping his knee as he grimaces. "I don't know, like the eighth of November? I was out of town." "That son of a bitch." You scoff, and stand up. "Well. Let's go. I need Vernon to hop off my dick about his feelings and hop on Jisun's about them." "Maybe we should wait until you're not upset, Y/N." He says gently, and you groan. "I'm not upset, Soonyoung can fuck whoever he wants, whenever he wants. I'm not his keeper." "But you want to be, don't you?" He says pointedly, and you huff in response. "Come on, Mr. President. I've got a point to prove, and it's that I don't need Kwon Soonyoung to get laid." "We all already know that, pretty." He rolls his eyes, allowing you to lead him out. He shuts your door, and makes it a big show of fixing your skirt and wiping his lips of your gloss as you open the door to the lounge. Soonyoung and Luda are draped across the couch, and you lock eyes with him the moment you step inside the room. Minghao, unable to read the room for the first time, turns and cheers.

"Woo! How was it?" He asks, taking a swig from the bottle of Pink Whitney that somehow made its way upstairs. "Pretty good." You admit shyly, feeling Sangyeon sit on the ground with you. He pulls you onto his lap, and you give Vernon a knowing look.

"You gotta do it, Chwe." "Oh, come on! You hate me!" "I don't hate you, but I sure am tired of hearing you mope about Jisun." "How are you even coherent right now? You had two spliffs and a shitload of beer." You smile, wiggling your fingers for his phone. "Give it here, Chwe." He groans, handing it over to you. You unlock it, not unable to shake Soonyoung's eyes off you. You know he's eyeing the man holding you, because he shifts under you and even brushes the hem of your dress. You smirk to yourself as you scroll to Vernon's conversation with Jisun, seeing a pre-drafted message sitting in the text box.

Msg To: Roh Jisun (the loml who doesn't know she's the loml yet)

[4:31am] hi jisun. i just wanted to say that uhh i've liked you for a while and i know it's late (or early….wtv you prefer) and i do not expect you to answer this at all (because i'm a wimp) but if it's not a bother, i'd like to take you out. to dinner, maybe, or whatever you'd like to do. i know you like making jewelry, though, i know this cool jeweler in the city who does like,,,classes. maybe? sorry this is so awkward i'm nervous.

You read over it, and look at Vernon. He's blushing deeply, and you smile softly. "Just send it, Nonnie." "What if she says no?" "What if she says yes?" Momo speaks up, and you see her also taking a sip from the bottle of Pink Whitney. The group echoes her, and Vernon sighs. "Okay, fine. Fine! I'll send it and if she says no I'll just…act normal." He turns the screen to face everyone, pressing send with his ring finger and fully launching the phone across the room. "Well! That's that!" He smiles, reaching for the bottle of Pink Whitney and taking a long drink.

"Who's next?"

February 7th.

Zoology with Soonyoung was not nearly as bad as you thought it was going to be. He stayed true to his word – if you were cool, he marked you present. If you were a douche, he marked you absent. His office hours were erratic, and you found it increasingly difficult to get a hold of him for the first few classes. He was always helping another classmate, or busy with his classes at the dance studio.

In other news, Sangyeon was avoiding you like the fucking plague. You'd waved at him a few days after the party, when you noticed a bruise blooming on his cheekbone. He greeted you quickly, before leaving you practically in the dust. Luda was also increasingly cold to you, but you just assumed it was over one of the boys – whether it was Soonyoung or Sangyeon was beyond you.

Vernon actually managed to woo Jisun. She was charmed by his general awkwardness, and when she texted you about it, you laughed and told her that it was the most outward emotion you'd seen him exude since you'd known the guy. She laughed and said he was sweet, and that she'd let you know how the date went. Vernon screamed in your messages about it and stated "I hope you get the best head in the world."

Speaking of getting the best head in the world, you finally caught Soonyoung in the hallway today, asking him if you could have an impromptu study session in the library later. He sighed, checking his watch and agreeing rather reluctantly. You grimaced, and told him you didn't have to ask him, you could very well just join the Zoology study group that met twice a week.

He apologized and said he'd book the study room for five, and that he'd meet you there.

Well, it's now six and the two of you have done nothing but bicker. You'd asked about Lorenz and what he meant about the transposibility of key stimuli, to which he'd just scoffed and said that you'd know all about key stimuli.

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?" You spit, and he just shook his head. "Whatever. Key stimuli is just something that can trigger specific sensory information in an animal's brain. So certain shapes, colors, sounds, even gestures and behaviors can trigger an animal to act in a certain manner." You sucked your teeth, jotting down his words before speaking. "Do you know what happened to Sangyeon?" He almost snaps his neck looking up at you, brows furrowed as he shakes his head. "No? Why does that even matter, aren't we supposed to be studying?" You raise a brow at him, "Why are you so defensive, dude? I'm just asking you if you know what happened. He and Luda have been avoiding me like I have lice." "Get a monkey." He shrugs, looking back down at his phone. He's scrolling mindlessly, and you huff as you put down your pen. "Alright. What's the problem, Soonyoung?" He winces slightly, before shaking his head. "Don't know what you mean. Do you understand now? Or do you still need to understand the difference between key stimuli and releasers? People have been asking all week about that." You frown, feeling your throat a bit tight as you sit up. "Why are you acting like this?" You murmur, and he must hear something in your voice that makes him look up. "Acting like what?" "Like you can't stand to be in the same room as me." "That's not true." He rolls his eyes, and you scoff. "It sure seems like it. I ask you a question about class, you're rude. I mention Sangyeon and Luda, you're annoyed and irritated. Did I do something? Are you upset with me?" It seems your prodding has been more of you poking the bear, because he sucks his teeth and slides his phone onto the table. "Yes, as a matter of fact, I am upset with you. And you did do something." "Okay? So tell me what it is so we can fix it." You state, and he laughs dryly. "We? There is no we in you and Sangyeon making out like a pair of lovesick idiots at the stoplight party. He was practically eye fucking you the entire time you were together."

"I don't see what the hell that has to do with you, Soonyoung." You retort, and he shakes his head. "I just don't understand why you'd make me feel like there was something between us and then go and make out with some other guy. He likes Luda, you know, so it's not like it would have gone anywhere." His tone is bitter, and you can recognize he's saying all of this to hurt your feelings. Maybe because he's hurt, and he feels disappointed in his own choices. Nonetheless, it gets under your skin and hits just the right bullseye for you to explode.

"Where the fuck do you get off telling me what I can and can't do with my life, Soonyoung? You and I both agreed that this wasn't mutually exclusive, and Sangyeon and I just made out! You and I haven’t even fucked since we stopped last year, so I don't understand why your panties are in a twist!" You exclaim, and he scoffs out a breath of disbelief.

"You know what, maybe this entire thing was a fucking mistake. I should've never asked for there to even be an 'us', because if I knew I was going to feel this way knowing that you can just do whatever or whoever you want–" You cut him off before he can finish. "Is that what you think I'm doing? I've literally rejected so many people in just the past year because you were acting like you couldn't live without me! So what if I kissed Sangyeon? So what if I did? Forgive me for thinking that maybe you changed your mind about me and how you felt about me after you slept with Luda! You're not the only one who felt led on, you know?!" Your breathing is heavy as you finish yelling, with Soonyoung blinking at you, ears red. "You know about that?" His voice is almost ashamed. Almost.

"If you didn't want to make this an exclusive thing, or make the people around us think we were together, you should've stopped pulling me into random bedrooms to fuck and kissing me in the kitchen of the frat. Maybe don't buy me a Jellycat Octopus and say you want to be exclusive with me if you're just going to pull this sort of shit." You feel tears sting your eyes as you rip your bag off the chair in front of you, feeling your throat tighten as you grab your remaining things off the table. "Y/N-" "You know, it may be taking you five years to finish your degree, but I want to finish mine on time. Have a good life, Soonyoung. Don't call me." You spit, watching his jaw drop slightly before tightening. "I won't." "Good." "Great." "Fine."

He watches as you slam the door behind you, feeling his stomach sink damn near into the ground as he sees the sweater you were wearing still hanging across the back of your chair. "Fine."

February 14th.

It'd been a week since your fight with Soonyoung.

He'd unfollowed you on Instagram, and seemingly decided to pretend as though you didn't exist. He didn't acknowledge you if you were over at the frat for Minghao, and he certainly didn't speak to you. You'd asked him to pass you the salt when you'd gone over yesterday for a Valentine's dinner party with the brothers, and he just left the table without a word. It was embarrassing enough that you asked Minghao to walk you home.

What you didn't know was that the fellow girlfriends of his frat brothers spoke to him about his behavior. Sana and Jisun called Sowon over FaceTime and even had Seungcheol talk to him, and he stood there and took the scolding like a puppy with his tail between his legs. Seungcheol told him that his behavior towards you wasn't going to get you to forgive him, much less be with him and that he understood that Soonyoung felt negatively about your actions – but that Soonyoung cannot be upset about it because he had his chance and he blew it by making out with Yujin at the Halloween party.

Talk about key stimuli. Bad behavior does not get rewarded.

He'd been left with his own thoughts after that, and he stared at all the little trinkets he had that reminded him of you. The sweater you left in the library was hung over his desk chair, and it still smelled of your citrusy perfume. The piggy bank you got him for his birthday was sitting on his bookshelf, still stuffed full with new bills you put in before giving it to him. You'd also given him a few items of clothing that reminded you of him, one of which being an oversized black sweater with your initials embroidered in the sleeve. He frequently wore it unless he was sure he'd be seeing you.

He didn't know why. It just felt nice to…feel like he belonged to you.

"Happy Valentine's Day, everybody!" He's standing in front of the class, and the sophomore girls in the front of the room coo at his cheerfulness. You're sitting behind them, a sour expression on your face as he dims the lights, a baggy navy cardigan draped over your shoulders. You didn't like that one as much as the one you'd left in the library.

"In honor of this pseudo holiday, we're going to go over the most romantic of animals. Consider this a free class, because this is definitely not on the syllabus or in the curriculum, I just like to talk about it." He smiles, and the group of girls aww again, and you make a face as he turns the projector to the next slide.

"Naturally, you have the ones you've heard of the most. Penguins, seahorses, swans, and doves. Shit, even elephants are said to mate for life, and become extremely depressed if their lover suddenly passes or, in some cases, just up and leaves. But my favorite?"

He changes the slide, seeing your eyes widen as your favorite fish fills the screen.

"The French Angelfish mate for life. Monogamy isn't usually practiced amongst observed populations of fish, though. So much so that there is an analogy called the Fish Love Analogy. This is when your partner can meet all your needs, both emotional and physical, but ultimately only turns into an object of desire." You frown at this, but he changes the slide.

"French Angelfish are rarely seen alone, as once they've mated, they're inseparable. It's really quite beautiful and it proves that animals are sentient beings." He smiles slightly, looking around to see everyone jotting down notes.

"What about you, Soonyoung? Do you believe in that stuff?" One of the sophomore girls speaks up, and he shrugs. "I do, yes. I think it's a beautiful thing, to fall in love and have that person forever. I think as humans, though, we forget to cherish what we have. That's why the rate of divorce is so high." You roll your eyes.

"Do you think you've found your forever, Soonyoung?" Another one of the girls asks, and he sighs. "You know, I have. I have found her, but I'm also a human that doesn't know how to cherish good parts of life. Animals are just wired to operate in a certain way, but giving humans free will has truly affected us as a society." He scoffs, earning a laugh from the class.

You're not smiling, but he sees your lips twitch slightly.

"What if she's not your Angelfish, though?" Someone from behind you speaks up, and he purses his lips. His eyes find yours, and he can practically feel them pierce through him.

"I doubt that she's not."

He turns back to the slides, proceeding to talk about how humans have romanticized doves and swans to be representative of love. He finishes the slides quickly, bidding everyone a happy Valentine's day once more and earning echoes of the girls telling him they hope he and his Angelfish figure it out. He thanked them, hitching his backpack over his shoulder as he held the door open for them.

He looks over them, spotting you still gathering your materials. You glance up at him, a silent communication of please wait for me from your eyes. He does, he waits as you walk down the steps and tug your cardigan around you tightly. He remembers when you bought it, he was with you and you were actually wearing the same dress you have on now, the long skirt now paired with platform boots so it doesn't drag on the floor. You slip out in front of him, and wait a few feet away as he locks the door. You stare at the floor as he falls into pace next to you, albeit a few feet behind. You're leading the way to somewhere, he notes, because you're not headed towards the frat or your place. He follows silently, never closing the gap between you as you turn into the veterinary hallway.

The graduating class last year had raised enough money to install an aquarium for viewing pleasure. It had all sorts of fish – including angelfish. You stopped in front of it, with him lingering a few feet behind and watching from afar. You point silently, the fish swimming past your hand and joining another.

"Which one are you?" You mumble, and he steps closer to you, but not enough to touch you. "Probably the male one." You snort, backing up slightly, your knuckles brushing as you clasp your hands behind your back.

"I'm sorry." You whisper, and he shakes his head. "No, I'm sorry." "Let's just agree we're both sorry." You shrug, and he sighs. "You shouldn't have to be sorry, though. I've always come off so strong, and I'm sorry if you felt like I was projecting my feelings onto you. You don't ever have to reciprocate if you don't want to." "Do you want me to?" You ask gently, watching the fish swim in circles. He hesitates, before nodding. "I don't think there is anything I want more." He murmurs, and you look at him out of the corner of your eye.

"Careful, I won't get you a gift for your birthday this year." You joke, but you see him sink slightly, before he's kneeling on the floor. "Soonyoung?" "I'm sorry I've been such an asshole, I know I don't deserve to be with you in any form." He hugs your knees, and you feel your cheeks flame as someone walks by you. "Soonyoung, get up." "Not until you forgive me." He squeezes your legs tighter, and a couple of girls walk by, gaping at the sight. "I forgive you! Just get up!" You grit, tugging his arm up and hurrying away from the hallway.

His eyes are teary as you pull him into a janitor's closet, making you scoff out a laugh as you wipe his eyes. "Oh, don't cry. I don't like seeing you cry." You say gently, stroking his cheeks with your thumbs. His lips jut out in a pout as his hands come up to your wrists.

"Can I kiss you?" He asks, and you roll your eyes. "Really?"

“Is that a no?” “I should make you grovel, honestly.” “I’m not above begging, you should know this.” “Just kiss me, you idiot.”

He does.

He does, and it's the warmest you'd felt in a long time. His lips are just as chapped as the last time he'd kissed you, his fingers just as soft as they held your face gently. You feel him press himself against you as his tongue slowly licks into your mouth. You play along, your fingers curling into his hair and tugging softly. He whines against your lips, making you smirk as you pull him away.

"Still wanna get on your knees?" You murmur, and he nods quickly as he sinks to his knees in front of you, and you clear your throat as he pulls your leg over his shoulder, pushing your skirt up to your hips. His breath is warm against your skin as he gasps, peering up at you from behind the bunched fabric. "You're not–" "You're about to yap yourself out of some ass, shut up." You roll your eyes, making him frown as his eyes disappear under your skirt, feeling his teeth nip at your thigh. You flinch, no longer used to his biting habits. "Be gentle." "Yeah, yeah. I don't tell you how to kiss other guys, don't tell me how to eat your pussy." He grumbles, and you go to argue before you feel his tongue circle your clit slowly. You sigh, feeling his free hand snake up to lace his fingers with yours. You hold his fingers tightly as he buries his face into your cunt, eagerly soaking up whatever you'll give him.

You cover your mouth with your free hand, feeling a bit of anxiety pool in your stomach as you hear students walk past the closet. He pulls you even closer, slurping obscenely when you hear someone stop in front of the door, murmured whispers and soft kissing sounds when the doorknob jiggles. You see Soonyoung's hand shoot to grab it, attempting to hold the door tightly shut as they pull.

He doesn't pull away when they yank the door open, leaving you to nearly topple as you yank your skirt down, hiding him beneath it. You're faced with Lee Chan and his girlfriend,Jung Haerim, lipstick smeared all over his face and neck as your own burns in embarrassment. His jaw drops, and you find yourself squirming away from Soonyoung's tongue as you shove him away.

Soonyoung pouts as he exits your skirt, a deep frown on his glistening lips as he looks at Chan. "Really, man?" "You're the one stealing my closet! You know this is my spot!" Chan argues as Soonyoung stands, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, your orgasm ruined and humiliation levels on 10. "You know, getting fucked in a mop closet shouldn't be something you're proud of." Soonyoung scoffs as he grabs your hand once more, tugging you out as Chan and Haerim blink at the two of you. She opens her mouth, holding up her finger before closing it, pressing her lips together. "Can't we just go to my place?"

"Should've thought of that earlier!" Soonyoung yells over his shoulder, picking up his pace as he hears Chan start after the two of you. You feel the awkward tension start to dissipate as you both bolt down the hallway, and you feel him take a sharp turn towards the fraternity. You hear Chan start yelling curse words before his footsteps stop, and the two of you just giggle to yourselves as you keep running towards the house.

Seeing the house come into view, the two of you quickly make your way up the steps and nearly slam into Seungcheol, who had come to visit (without anyone's knowledge.) He barely moves out of the way as you and Soonyoung barrel up the stairs, not even acknowledging a rather stoned Vernon and Jisun on the second floor landing before sliding into his room. It seemed both of you were on the same page about finishing what was started.

The room is full of clattering as you both undress, and your books are thrown to the side as his hands pull you to him before you both topple onto his bed. His lips are instantly on yours, but it's too chaste – and you hear him murmur something before he presses his lips to yours again.

"I love you." You scoff out a laugh, before you see the seriousness in his eyes. Blinking, you sit up a bit, your fingers trembling as you gently stroke his cheek. He nibbles his lip, and you can feel another laugh bubble in your throat. His ears tinge pink as you laugh, pulling him back down to your level, nuzzling your nose against his softly.

"I love you, too."

His eyes widen, and you swear he stops breathing before you tap him gently. "Hosh? You there?" He blinks, his hand tightens reflexively around your hip. "Yeah…I'm here."

You smile at him, tilting your head as you run your fingers through his hair. "You mean it, right? Do you love me?" "Let me be struck by Zeus himself if I'm lying."

The two of you laugh after a moment, and he swallows carefully. Neither of you make a move to get down to business, instead staring at each other like this was the last time you'd ever see each other. "You okay?" You murmur, and he shakes his head. "You love me." "You know, I figured it would be pretty obvious that I'd liked you well before we ever slept together." You say pointedly. "I'm still not forgiving you, though. You'll have to work for that." He quirks his brow at you, before pushing off you and flopping onto his back. You look at him, and he clears his throat. "M'lady, your throne awaits." "You're an idiot." "Your idiot, now come on. I've got to prove myself to you."

May 9th.

"Y/L/N Y/N."

Cheers are heard around the auditorium as your name is called, but not even your parents are as loud as your boyfriend amongst your graduating class. "THAT'S MY BABY!"

You feel your cheeks heat as everyone aw's and ooh's, hearing his fraternity brothers blow kazoos like idiots in the stands. The ceremony quickly came to an end as the last few names were called, the security attempting to diffuse crowds of people exiting. You found yourself looking for your boyfriend, finding him being embraced by Seungcheol, Jeonghan and Joshua as his eyes searched for you.

Your relationship with Soonyoung was not perfect by any means. You nearly failed Zoology because he kept interrupting your studying to kiss you, often leading to other things before you would crawl out of his bed to your laptop on the desk, before being lured back in by your siren of a boyfriend. The two of you kept it under wraps best as you could, seeing if Professor Kwon found out (or anyone else, really) you could both get in trouble.

But, everyone seemed to finally be satisfied with the outcome. You and Soonyoung were set to go to grad school together, and everyone congratulated the two of you as you made your relationship official – posting each other freely on social media almost everyday. Coffee dates photographed on your story turned into study (and sex) sessions, his Instagram story was full of you in cute workout sets as you finally let him drag you to his Tuesday dance class. Your dashboard was full of him posting you as much as he could, captions of "my girlfriend!!!" and "me n u…get it? menu…#lovestagram" under a photo of the two of you at a diner.

Your sorority and his fraternity came together to host a graduation party for all the graduates, and you and Soonyoung were going to arrive together. You stare at him from your position near the doors, waiting for him to spot you. You'd both worn a soft pink under your white gowns, and his eyes scan the entire area before finally landing on you. He fights his way out of his friends' arms, and you hear him exclaim to them that he needs to find his girlfriend.

As he approaches you, you think of the tangled web that had been your relationship. A bit of jealousy wrapped in emotional unavailability and insecurities from the both of you, like a cricket held down by a spider's thread. You think about the chase, the game of cat and mouse that the two of you played as you kissed eagerly, a mess of tongues and spit before he'd have to slip away. You think about the first time he smoked you out, and how he'd laughed and held you tightly when you told him you felt like you were about to fall off the Earth.

You think about his growth as a person, about his growth as a man and his growth as your person. The person you found yourself drawn to since you'd stepped foot in Beta Tau Omega four years ago. The same person who bought you a new laptop and then took you out to dinner, the same person who immediately glued himself to you once he found out how much you had in common.

The same person who left when he felt like everything was too much by your side, only to admit his wrongs a year later and beg for your forgiveness on a roof in the middle of autumn. The same person who then slowly lured you into his sticky and tangled web of emotions and unspoken confessions, of kisses full of I love you and embraces screaming I missed you. The same person who said you're his angelfish, his person, his forever. The same person who realizes his mistakes and pushes his pride aside to apologize, even if it means the two of you end up a mess of spit and cum and tears. The same person who tells you now, every night, that he loves you and has done everything he can to prove it day by day.

"Hey, kitty." His smile is warm and full of mischief as his hand gently brushes your hair away from your face, revealing the earrings he gave you a few weeks ago. He thumbs at them softly, before pulling you in closely for a chaste kiss. You smile at him, knowing that this tangled mess is only the beginning of your forever with him. "Let's get out of here."

566 notes · View notes

inkedtae · 3 months ago

Text

iii. howlin’ ⇾ bgc. [M]

chapter three : ringin’, howlin’ ⤑ ❝ chan gazes up at you, eyes gleaming with that unidentifiable emotion as he declares, “i am pathetically in love with you.” ❞

⇽ prev. | masterlist

⌁ pairing; alpha!bang chan x alpha!reader (f.)

⌁ genre; established relationship, secret lovers, werewolf au, soulmate au, angst, smut, 18+

⌁ word count; 19.1k

⌁ warnings; switch!chan, ass enthusiast!chan, big dicc!chan, (chan is also a total simp for reader), switch!reader, (reader is highkey thick/curvy), rough sex, break up sex, handjob, oral (f./m. receiving), degradation, some masturbation, daddy kink, praise kink, size kink, dirty talk, biting, knotting, hair pulling, choking, lots of cockwarming, spanking, cum play, a bit of spit play

⌁ 🎧 now playing... ✩

❥ prefer ao3? keep reading here

❥ a special thanks to fleur ( @editsbyfleur ) for making this lovely banner for me and to my girl jen ( @anobodyslove ) for editing and beta reading this monstrous fic for me! you are amazing and i am so lucky to call you my friend 💕

You don’t want to open your eyes. Last night is a lump in your throat searing through all your emotions.

When you returned from Chan’s apartment, you debated about going out to get some air. There’s a twenty-four-hour convenience store just around the corner. They sell those stale honeybuns you like and piping hot tea that always burns your tongue. Sometimes it’s all you can afford, and life post-college is not as lucrative as you were once promised. Chan would always offer to take you somewhere fancier. You always refused, preferring the sturdy walls of the rotting convenience store. You wanted to go last night but didn’t want to risk him following you.

Instead, you laid in bed all night, folded into yourself and hidden under the sheets. You tried to stop crying, but every inch of you only craved him. Though you knew the party would prevent him from checking on you, a part of you hoped you were wrong. You hoped he took what you had said seriously, leaving the safety of Changbin’s room for yours.

He never did.

You coil into yourself again now, trying hard not to throw up. You swallow that lump thickly and take a deep breath. Everything hurts. All over, your body tingles with dull pain. Parts of you are shattered for not having been touched and others from being overstimulated. Your clit seems to be experiencing both, faintly aching. You’re not exactly turned on but not turned off either. The underside of your stomach cramps too, spreading a silent discomfort around your torso.

There is a little pounding in your trembles, heaviness to your bones. You can practically feel the energy drain from your body with every thought of him. He’s not here to cuddle you to sleep, to coddle all your worries away and soothe every twinge of pain. He’s not here to be yours. Why are you still craving him? You know he doesn’t deserve it.

You screw your eyes tight and allow your exhaustion to take over.

Slowly, emptiness consumes you.

— — —

Rain falls. You hear the muted patters against the window.

Chan loves the rain. He’d call you over and sneak you into his room, with snacks and a movie ready. He’d insist you sit on his lap or lay between his legs as he held you. He’d laugh quietly in your ear, lips tucked against your earlobe, during all the funny moments and hold you tighter during all the sweeter ones. When something dangerous flashes on the screen, he’d pull you closer. He’d never said it, but you knew he would never let anything bad happen to you. That little tug of your body towards his was proof enough.

Even with this faint pang of pain in your stomach, further soiling the taste of your own tongue, you still crave some chocolate-coated popcorn.

You slowly open your eyes. Light peeks through your curtains. It’s a bluish-grey, dimly illuminating the room enough for you to know it’s not quite the end of the day yet. You’re not sure how long you’ve been sleeping. It almost feels as though it hasn’t even been five minutes since you had fallen back asleep.

Unwrapping yourself from your sheets, you search around your bed for your phone. You can’t remember if you fell asleep with it beside you or if you put it on your night table. You pat your mattress down around yourself, until you feel it wedged under your back. You pull it out to check the time only to find it’s dead.

With a sigh, you reach out to put it on the charger. The overdue stretch releases some of the tension in your fatigued muscles. You take it as a moment to lay back and further stretch your arms and legs out, slowly turning your wrists to crack your stiff bones. It doesn’t sound as satisfying as it feels. Your body isn’t as heavy anymore though, some degree of energy returning to you.

CRASH!

You sit up to the sound of glass breaking. A flurry of whispered demands exchange between your roommates. It’s always something with them. If they are not breaking furniture, then they are rearranging it. You once walked in after work one day to find that they redecorated the living room to make a maze.

“It’s a livable maze!” Jeongin corrected, popping out from somewhere in the middle.

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“You can live in it!” Seungmin excitedly added, peeking out of the makeshift door they made. It wasn’t lost on you that they had used the clean sheets you washed the night before.

You crawled through their weakly structured tunnels, trying to convince them that this was a terrible idea the entire weekend. Minho eventually lost his patience when he stubbed his toe on the edge of the couch. He couldn’t see it under layers of wrinkled bed sheets. The maze collapsed as he walked right through it.

You rub your temples, drawing out of the memory. You attempt to calm yourself down with the reassuring fact that they are probably trying to clean and something must have slipped out of—

SMASH!

Twice in less than a minute is concerning.

Pushing off your covers, you scoot out of bed. You throw on a hoodie and some shorts as their hushed voices become sharper. You shuffle towards the door. Silence settles when you open it. A myriad of scents wash over you, intensifying the ache in your temples. Between what smells like baked cookies, you can sniff out the mixed scents of all your friends.

Your eyes take a moment to adjust to the light. You rub them with the heel of your palm when you pop your head out of your room. Seungmin looks down the hall at you. Still in his pyjamas, he hugs a pastel green mixing bowl against his chest, his other hand clutching onto a silver whisk.

“You guys okay?” you ask, voice groggy.

Seungmin nods, parting his lips to reassure you when you hear Changbin’s sing-songy voice instead.

“Good morning!” he calls, triggering a chorus of ‘good mornings.’ However, his voice carries on an all too long melody. A sudden thump silences him, not a moment too soon, giving your ears a second of peace.

A smile plays on Seungmin’s face, cute eyes gleaming with amusement before he corrects. “It’s almost five.”

Your eyes widen. You figured you were out for a while but didn’t think you slept that long. Have they been trying to be quiet this whole time or did they just arrive?

You shuffle down the hall to properly gauge who exactly is here, nostrils too overwhelmed to distinguish specific scents.

The living room has been redecorated into a makeshift bedroom. With the couches pushed back and out of the way, Changbin and Jeongin have lined up four blankets and pillows as beds. You raise a brow and turn towards the kitchen to ask what’s going on, but your words get lost as you catch Felix sweeping up broken glass, Hyunjin washing dishes and Seungmin dumping a whole pack of chocolate chips into his bowl.

“Did I miss something?”

“You mean besides the whole day?” Seungmin teases.

“Or a comb?” Jeongin adds with a little smile as he walks by you to the kitchen.

Your friends snicker, their gazes lingering over your bed-headed hair.

On any other day, you’d probably tease them back. Changbin is wearing a shirt that’s two sizes too small and Felix obviously let his clumsiness get the best of him. The lingering ache in your stomach, however, dims your humour. You barely manage a smile as you grab a seat on the barstool, in front of the island.

Jeongin studies your expression, once playful gaze softening. He flashes a little smile when you catch him staring as if silently asking if you’re okay. It’s not like you to not toss a harmless insult back, or fall silent after receiving one. A part of you wants to tell him everything’s okay, but it will only pique everyone else’s interest and you cannot avoid all their questions or watchful gazes at once. Remaining silent might be your best option right now.

After returning the smile, you pull your attention away from Jeongin and onto Changbin as he seats himself beside you.

“We’re going to be staying here for the night,” he explains.

A chill runs down your spine. We? Who exactly is “we?”

Changbin… Jisung…

You gulp at the thought of Chan spending the night here. Smelling him so close, hearing his heartbeat through the walls… His voice and laugh are enough to make you giddy with excitement on a regular day. When you’re this frustrated with him, it only chips away at your confidence and pride. You’re going to yearn for him all the more. You won’t be able to take it, especially with this many eyes around. What makes it worse is the thought that if things were still blissfully uncertain, this would’ve been the perfect opportunity to sneak off together.

You take a deep breath as your friends slip back into their previous conversations and tasks. You just need to calm down. Maybe they might not have to stay and whatever the issue is with their apartment can get easily worked out. If all else fails, you can visit your parents for the night. Gaining some more distance from Ch— the situation might be best for the both of you, as heartbreaking as that conclusion sounds.

Stripping your tone of panic, you try to casually ask, “What happened to your apartment?”

Changbin exchanges a confused look with Jeongin and Felix. A little smile plays on his lips when he looks back at you. “Did you not hear what I said?” he asks with a little chuckle.

You look between your friends, realising they may have been talking to you this whole time and not each other. Even Hyunjin, mid-rinse by the sink, looks at you over his shoulder.

Eager to recover, you rub your eyes and force a yawn. “Sorry, still sleepy,” you excuse, “What’d you say?”

The guys seem to buy it– except for Seungmin and Jeongin. You never can get anything past your roommates, their gazes sharp and expressions blank as they study you.

“I was just saying Chan’s in heat,” he repeats.

Eyes widening, brows shooting up, you gape at Changbin. How is that even possible? Males cannot go into heat.

“No, he’s not,” you dryly chuckle.

“The blue moon messed with everyone,” Changbin shrugs.

“Sensory issues, irritability, impulsivity, overactivity, heat reversals,” Felix lists, disposing of the glass he broke. “Didn’t you see it online?”

An image of Jeongin breaking off doorknobs flashes before your eyes. He’s been having trouble controlling his strength, Chan once mentioned. Seungmin’s been up all hours of the night, with energy to burn. Felix and Hyunjin wore earplugs for nearly the whole week. Jisung and Changbin have been short-tempered, rough housing every chance they get. You and Minho almost passed out a few times due to scent exhaustion. And Chan— moody, impatient, suddenly intensely active — is now holed up in his apartment, suffering and in heat alone.

Is this why you’ve been aching? When you were researching mates earlier in your relationship, you found that if a bond is strong enough, you can subconsciously share emotions, even symptoms of sickness or heats. Your wolf must have known he was in pain, you realise. Your wolf sensed his discomfort, mildly experiencing his symptoms, and was trying to tell you.

You blink back tears, avoiding your friends’ gazes. Why didn’t he call? Why didn’t he tell you? Yes, you’re mad at him, but being in heat is hard— extremely painful if not properly tended to. If the roles were reversed, you wouldn’t even need to call him; he’d already be there for you. It doesn’t matter how upset he’d be, he’d drop everything to make sure you’re okay.

He should’ve called.

Why the fuck hasn’t he—

“My phone’s dead,” you think aloud.

Maybe he did try to tell you but your phone’s been dead and considering you lashed out at Minho last night (who you still need to apologise to), no one has been brave enough to wake you up.

You get up, rubbing the smeared mascara and eyeliner from under your eyes. “I’ll be right back,” you say, making your way to the door.

“Where are you going?” Changbin asks. He stands from his seat with you.

“Um,” you hesitate. “There’s this drink that Chan likes. He told me before that it helps when he's feeling sick. I-I think they have it across the street.”

“Minho and Jisung already went out to buy him stuff,” Seungmin replies after putting the brownies in the oven. “You don’t need to worry about that.”

Great.

You should have seen that coming when you didn’t see either of them arguing. You keep your hand on the doorknob as a nervous sigh escapes you. “Yeah, yeah, that’s good,” you nod, pausing to swallow your nerves. “The thing is that I also forgot something in, um, the car— my car so I, um, I have to leave anyway.”

A nervous chuckle tumbles out of your lips as you open the door.

Jeongin leans over the island countertop to get a better look at you. His eyes linger on your bare feet as you step out of the apartment. He flashes a little suspicious smile, asking, “What’d you forget?”

“My…. charger?”

You catch them sharing glances.

They’re onto you.

You know it.

They know it.

Panic suffocates your chest, your heart pounding faster, working harder to calm you down. Maybe there was a better excuse to try, or a better way of handling this, but you don’t really care any more. Chan’s behaviour does not deserve your presence but you know he would never leave you aching and alone like that. He’d try to help any way he can, any way you’d let him. At the very least, you need to do the same, right?

I just miss him, your wolf whispers.

The conclusion loops in your head, festering your stomach with pathetic shame. You try to push the thought away, rubbing your brow and exhaling heavily but it continues to spew the truth little by little. It’s barely been a day and you’ve spent it sleeping because being this conscious means you have to be aware of just how far away Chan is and just how badly you want him.

“You can use mine,” Jeongin suggests.

You ignore him, already out the door. You don’t trust your voice not to betray you. The weight of it sits heavy in your throat already, clawing at your oesophagus. No matter how many times you try to gulp it away, it remains with the undeniable truth that you don’t want to leave him, that you don’t want to play a game of ultimatums.

The click of your apartment door shutting echoes in the hallway. You stare at the one across the hall, recalling the way you pushed it open last night after flirting with Kai. Straining your ears, you try to pick up the sound of his voice. You can only just hear the faint beat of his heart and the spray of the shower. You wonder if it’s breaking as much as yours.

You take a step forward.

How will he perceive you after last night, after he might have tried to call you? He’s stuck in heat, emotions awry and high. You don’t know if he’d be upset or relieved. Would he even want you here? Is this a good idea?

Your hand hovers over the doorknob.

You should at least try, right? You should walk in there and try to offer some help. Whether he takes it or not is up to him. As long as you did what you think is right, what he would do for you if the roles were reversed, then you can walk back into your room guilt free.

With a turn of the knob, you take a deep breath and open the door.

A hot wave of pure cedar and peppercorn burns your nostrils. Stumbling to regain your balance, Chan’s scent, overpowered by adrenaline and drenched in frenzied pheromones, knocks you back. You reach for the door frame to keep yourself stable. An appetite for him grows, festering in the base of your stomach. Every inhale makes you clench. Your core, wet and aching, tightens and relaxes in anticipation as if preparing for his length.

Heart hammering, you turn your head away from the apartment and take a deep breath. The scent is still thick, your attempts at avoiding it useless. It almost smells as though he hasn’t gotten off at all, still pent up with desire and frustration. Along with reversing the cycle, the blue moon must have strengthened it too, forcing a week’s worth of arousal in twenty-four hours.

And it’s not going to get any easier standing here with the door wide open. With his alpha pheromones at their peak, you’re sure they’ll eventually attract someone’s attention.

Wiping the drool from the corner of your lips, you let out a shaky breath and quickly enter his apartment. You make sure to shut the door behind you, carefully leaning your back against it.

He’s in the shower now, the muffled spray of the water greeting you.

Good– it gives you some time to get yourself together. You shut your eyes and try to remember that you’re just here because it’s the right thing to do. This doesn’t change how you feel about the way he’s been acting. This doesn’t change how serious you were— are.

You lick your lips before a hushed profanity escapes you. Your chin is still wet with your saliva. You hurriedly wipe it away with the back of your hand, panting like a starved dog.

How the fuck am I going to get through this alive?

With the squeaking turn of the tap, the shower stops. Your attention snaps down the hall, to the muted sound of the glass door as it screeches open. You hear the drips of water fall on the floor from his naked body, the soft pads of his feet as he shuffles through the bathroom. If you try hard enough, you can catch the soft ruffle of his towel against his curls.

And then you hear it, a soft groan, a silent squelch. You push yourself off the door and take a couple of steps towards the bathroom, eager to hear more of his frustration and what it has manifested itself into.

You should probably say something, right? Announce yourself? He might be your mate, but eavesdropping on him getting off is still wrong…right?

“Fuck…” Chan moans in a hushed tone.

You clamp your hand over your mouth to hold back your own sounds. A shiver rushes down your spine. Brows furrowing, eyes watering, you press your thighs together. Feeling dizzy with lust, your knees almost give out. You reach out to the nearest wall and lean against it to stabilise yourself.

The bathroom door squeaks open and you catch Chan’s nearly naked frame through the narrow crack of the ajar door. His buff chest gleams with fresh drops of water, curly hair damp and pushed back. His scent is not only stronger now, but wet.

It is not the potent scent of arousal that shatters you, however. Rather, it is his swollen face. Dark circles, tear-stained cheeks, red tint of his pale skin, brittleness of his dry lips– he is broken.

Your wolf shudders. Needing to shield him from any further pain, you want to wrap him in your embrace. You want to engulf him in your scent, knowing the smell of you will at least ease the tremors of his aching heart– you can hear it thudding in his chest, beating fast and almost uneven. You want to run your hands along his broad back and strong arms, soothing his nerves long enough to lay him down and finally relieve that throb between his legs.

Your instincts rage against your stubbornness, brewing storms of guilt deep in your chest. You hold your ground, however, curling your hands into fists.

Chan takes one deep breath and snaps his attention to you. His eyes are bloodshot, drowning with disbelief and remorse.

Your knees buckle, throat dry.

While Chan is to blame for your drastic words, your chest still festers with guilt, knowing you haven’t made this any easier. You edged him last night, only to leave him blue balled and begging. You ignored him all day too while he suffered alone. Not even his hand is cutting it anymore, you realise, noting the abandoned attempt to jerk off a couple of seconds ago. This is your fault.

Forcing yourself to stand straight, you start, “I—”

The slam of the door cuts you off.

You stand still for a moment, stunned and confused. Sure, you didn’t expect him to run into your arms. Some relieved acknowledgment might have been nice though. Had he not been thinking about you? How else had he been able to get off? You remember the countless nights when neither of you could risk sneaking out to see each other but were rendered a mess of horny emotions. Chan would call you once he was sure everyone was sleeping. He couldn’t get off until he heard your voice.

And now, he can’t even stand to look at you, hiding away in a humid bathroom.

The click of the lock draws you out of your thoughts.

“What are you doing here?” he asks through the door. His voice is strained, no doubt tired from moaning and growling.

The thought of him doing so in your ear makes you tremble. Breath shaky, you inch closer towards the door.

“My phone was dead,” you begin.

His silence reminds you just how useless that explanation is without context.

“So, I didn’t know. I didn’t see your texts. Changbin actually just told me. They’re all staying across the hall, but you probably already know that,” you chuckle, twisting the hem of your shirt. “So, my phone died and I just…” you trail off, realising you’re repeating yourself.

You can hear Chan’s rapid heart beat on the other side of the door and his little huffs and puffs as he tries to calm himself down.

Suppressing a defeated sigh, body now aching from the fragility of his voice, you shut your eyes and swallow thickly. You take a step closer, now almost pressed against the wood. With a part of your lips, you’re about to tell him you came to help.

“I didn’t text,” he admits in a mutter, voice heavy with regret.

“Oh.”

Maybe he doesn’t need you after all. Maybe you’re the one too attached to him and can’t let go. You could barely last a day before running back into his arms, foolishly thinking they would be open for you. Blinking back tears, you swallow thickly.

“I just didn’t think it was fair,” he explains. His voice strains, almost breaking.

You pause.

“You made yourself clear last night and you were right,” you hear him shift his weight before he continues, “I don’t deserve to call you mine when I’ve been treating you this way.”

Though you want to hate it, you’re relieved to find that your assumptions were wrong. Of course, you don’t want Chan to get hurt, but a little toxic part of you is almost glad your harsh words have made an impression. You’re glad you’re not the only one craving his presence and yearning for his touch, his scent, his being intertwined with yours.

“We don’t need to discuss that right now. I just came to help you through this heat. And—”

A muted growl cuts you off.

You can hear the pound of his heart clearly now, the rush of blood coursing through his veins as his wolf’s nails scratch at the door.

Shit, can he smell you? Is it driving him crazy?

You try to fight the silent satisfaction that beams in your chest, biting back a smile. Are you just that horny or purely insane to feel this much excitement about his torture? There’s just something about being in control and knowing that he needs you, that you are essential to his survival.

“I think it would be best if you left,” he finally sighs.

It would be, you should reply before leaving.

You just cannot bring yourself to follow through, let alone utter the words. There’s a muted twinge of pain in your pelvis and vague nausea in the pit of your stomach. The scent of his pheromones only intensify the discomfort in your bones. When you try to swallow your desires away, you feel a vacancy in your throat that just begs to be filled and tested by an all too wide girth. Your entire body craves the satisfaction of an earth-shattering orgasm spilling in your mouth, leaking from the corners of your lips.

Even if your life depends on it, you cannot not find the ability to leave. So, you latch onto that pathetic, measly reason that brought back you to his apartment.

“Would you leave?” You ask. “If I was in heat and you were upset with me, would you leave me here alone?”

Silence.

You merely catch little hisses followed by a thick gulp. He’s in unimaginable pain and would rather endure it than let you help him. Maybe your words have stuck; maybe he is really starting to believe you when you say you’re leaving. And being here could undermine it all, yet he doesn’t let it. He knows you were serious last night and must be considering your presence as obligatory.

And it is. But, you cannot ignore the lingering pain below your stomach and your wolf won’t let you forget just how much you love him either. He’s your best friend. He’s the person you feel safest with, someone who wouldn’t care about anger when he knows you’re hurt. So, even without certainty from your wolf that you belong together, you’d still find your way back to him.

“Let’s pretend everyone knows,” you whisper. “Let’s pretend we didn’t fight.”

“I want everyone to know,” he says, pausing to inhale deeply, “I—”

“Just open the door,” you plead.

The lock clicks, but the door remains closed. You hear a little shuffle, a nervous heart beat.

“Are you sure?”

“When it comes to you, I’m always sure,” you whisper.

He opens the door, peering at you from the crack. One look and he shakes his head, about to shut the door again. “This is a bad ide-”

You push it open with all your strength. He stumbles back; you rush forward. Arms wrapped around his neck, you press yourself against his wet body and let your lips collide.

Your heart raptures. His breath gives you life. The deprivation of his essence reminds you that you have probably found each other in every lifetime. Your love collides like planets, aimlessly floating, yearning to become one.

Chan cups your face, his hands shaky yet firm, like he cannot believe it himself but wants to. You can almost feel the ache of his body radiate onto yours. It makes you quiver with want as your legs press together.

His nose brushes against yours when he breaks the kiss, breath rapid and lips wet. He searches your eyes for even more certainty, desperate to ensure that this really is what you want. His gaze then flickers back to your lips.

Kissing him was a mistake, you realise. It was too intimate, too magical. You feel obligated to help him through this unusual heat in honour of your friendship and bond. And that should be where it ends. You cannot let yourself get lost in world-altering kisses.

So, before he can close the gap between you again, you dive towards his neck.

You planned to plant open mouthed kisses under his jawline as he flexes it for you. However, you stupidly forgot just how strong his scent is around his neck. It’s where the majority of it seeps out and intoxicates you. The moment your nose is smothered against his skin, you cannot control yourself.

Your eyes widen, pussy clenches as your arousal stains your inner thighs. Digging your nails into his biceps, you moan loudly and drag your tongue over his sensitive skin. He smells so good but tastes even better. You feel the vibrations of his growls against your tongue, eyes rolling back as your face flushes with pride.

Chan urgently pushes you back against the wall. You don’t have time to tell him that he needs to rest, quietly grunting from the impact. He’ll only further torment himself if he attempts to take control– you know from experience.

In a breath, however, he has pushed your shorts down and spread your legs, cupping your pussy. He chokes on his next intake of air and you’re not sure if it’s because of your wetness, or the intoxicating heat of it all invading his senses. But Chan is on his knees. He smothers his face between your legs, growling the moment the tip of his nose presses against your clit. The sinful sound of his slurping, the rushed drag of his tongue, makes you tremble. You tangle your fingers in his hair, resting one of your legs on his shoulder.

He grips onto your ass, pushing your pelvis up in his face. Starved, you’d think it’s been weeks since you’ve had a taste of each other and not mere hours. Shaking his head, he slurps on your arousal as his nose rubs against your clit. You squeal, toes curling. His warm tongue glides up and down between your folds before he latches around your clit. He harshly sucks, flicking it with the tip of his tongue. A loud moan tears through your throat as you throw your head back. He’s usually not this rough when you’re standing, knowing you can’t hold yourself up for very long. He doesn’t seem to care this time, even going as far as nibbling on the little nub only to lick the sting away.

“Ch-Chan,” you start, only for his finger to slide inside you.

“Cum on my tongue,” he mutters against your clit, voice raspy and slightly frayed.

You can’t find it in you to tell him to slow down. He’s the one who is overstimulated, cock painfully hard between his legs. He’s the one in heat. You shouldn’t be the one showered with attention this aggressively.

However, with his fingers deep in you, slighting curling forward, you seem to forget how to speak. All you think about, all you feel are his long fingers, his hot mouth. You throw your head back. Your moan cracks into a high pitched whine as you cum. Body shaking, hips jutting out against his face, you gush all over his mouth.

Chan wastes no time replacing his finger with his tongue, reaching deep inside you to gather every last drop. He growls, sinks his fingers into the fat of your ass, forcing you to stay still against his face.

It’s then that you realise, while he may be aching under that thin towel and so urgently craves the comfort of your care, he needs this right here– your body, your heat, your taste. He needs to feel you melt in his hands, to react to his touch. And while you desperately want to give him whatever he needs, your placating alpha merely wanting to satisfy all his urges, you don’t think you can endure another second of this overstimulation.

“Chan,” you cry, tugging at his hair to push him away. “P-please!”

He flattens his tongue and slowly drags it up your folds before finally pulling away. He gives you a second to catch your breath as he gets back on his feet. Chest heaving, he towers over you, chin and cheeks glistening from your arousal. His nose is particularly shiny from the way he shoved it against your clit. He brushes it against yours, hands gripping your ass. You catch a strong whiff of your thick scent. He spanks you, smirking when you whine.

You part your lips, about to suggest continuing in his room. You can lay him down there and ride all this frustration out of him.

However, Chan is not interested in leaving the hallway just yet. He pulls your shirt up and off then turns you towards the wall. You already know what he wants, having been caught between his frame and the wall multiple times before. His favourite position is your face against any hard surface, preferably standing, with your ass perked up behind you. Spreading your legs, you arch your back the way he likes and press your face to the wall.

Chan lets a hard hand come down on your ass once, twice, lowly chuckling as you jolt forward and whine from the impact. He quickly rubs the stinging skin, then pushes your cheeks up to align himself. Lips attached to your shoulder, he sloppily peppers your skin in wet kisses and pushes himself in. You feel his jaw drop against your neck; the deep groan he emits resonates down your spine. You squirm, gasping from the stretch of his thick length.

You remember thinking you were so naïve for believing you can take him the first time he fucked you. He asked you if you were sure three times and you begged him to just push himself in already, not able to properly see him in the dark car. Your eyes rolled back, just like they do now. You lost your voice then too. It happens every time. Your pussy aches for it, but he always fills you more than you expect. You always think you’d get used to the stretch, the depth he can reach, to the mere speed he adopts. You never can, however, especially when you're standing. Your legs weaken, trembling from the stimulation. It’s even more exhilarating in the shower, all wet and slippery. Chan has to pay extra attention to keep you from falling, usually holding you firmly against him.

“Fuck,” he groans, lips pressed to your earlobe. He draws back a couple of inches and pushes into you again. Wrapping his arms around your waist, he must feel your knees buckle from the depth of his voice, the agonisingly slow progression of his thrusts.

“I can cum in you right now,” he confesses.

You pathetically whine, whimpering like wounded prey. “Please!” you find yourself moaning. “Please, daddy!”

You swear you feel his hips quiver before his thrusts snap into action. They smack against your ass, practically applauding your pussy. His moans fill the spaces between the claps, loud, feral and breathless. And with his lips pressed to the shell of your ear, you feel each wave vibrate down each vertebrate and settle into your bones. His gruff groans embed in your flesh like a tattoo, forever scarring you as his. Others may not know but, as much as you want to, you cannot deny that every part of you belongs to him. From the way he grips onto one of your breasts and buries himself in you, there is no denying he belongs to you either. And it makes the thought of having to leave him even more heartbreaking.

So, for the sake of his heat, you pretend you have been bitten. You pretend you have been marked as his mate, solidifying the bond between you and becoming one. You pretend you aren’t disappointed and let yourself sink into this feeling of finally belonging. Pushing back against him, you throw your head back against his shoulder and cry out his name. Your voice is practically a squeal, trembling and desperate– just how he likes it.

Chan cups your drenched core. A low growl rumbles from his chest and against your back. He smirks, your earlobe between his teeth as he tugs. The constant simulation gathers tears in your eyes. You shutter against him, scratching at the wall.

“Cum with me,” he whispers, voice raspy. “Cum on my cock, princess.”

Your moans cinch at the base of your throat. You screech as your orgasm tremors through you. Chan hums a pleased moan as you gush around him, pussy flexing with each wave. He suddenly keeps you extremely still, his finger still rubbing fast circles around your clit though. His cock twitches before unloading. You feel it move against your walls, his warm cum curling your toes.

His groans are loud and fraught. He pulls out only to forcefully thrust himself back in, keen on draining every drop in you.

You lean against the wall, limp. Breathes jagged, you try to push his hand away from your clit, the ongoing simulation proving painful.

“Stop squirming,” he gently orders, trailing sloppy kisses along your shoulder blade. “You’re going to fall.”

You can only manage a whine, nudging his hand away again. He finally yields. Your hips still quiver though.

Chan quietly chuckles against your shoulder. “You should have told me it was too much,” he murmurs, not nearly as breathless as you.

Your chest heaves. You shoot him a playfully pointed glare over your shoulder, sighing, “You can’t be serious.”

He just laughs, burying his face in the crook of your neck. He swallows breathfuls of your scent, allowing the familiarity and comfort of everything you are to calm his erratic heart. Showering you with small kisses, he mutters against your skin,“God, you’re so cute. Lemme carry you.”

“It’s oka– Ah!” you begin.

Chan pulls his still hard cock out, the spark of friction cutting you off with a gasp. His arms remain firm around you to keep you steady, and you don’t realise how weak your legs really are until he shifts back half an inch and you wobble against the wall. He carries you like a bride in his arms, smirking to himself at the damage he’s caused.

Your inner wolf simmers with irritation, resonating a peeved growl from the pit of your stomach. His face glistens with your arousal, skin scenting of your peach, sandalwood scent, and he still has the audacity to smirk like he’s ruined you, as if a little buckle of your knees can be any indication.

“Put me down.”

His arrogance wavers at the sound of your velvety voice, at how it brims with authority. The playfulness that once twinkled in his gaze darkens. He tongues his cheek, like the rise of your alpha has threatened his own. Mischief now gleams in his eyes and drops you on his bed.

You squeal, bouncing on his mattress.

He bites his lip but chuckles anyway, tilting his head to admire your curves.

“I told you to stop doing that!” You want to sound annoyed, grappling for your previous control. However, upon the sound of his deep laughter, you cannot swallow your own.

“You like it and you know it,” he replies, crawling over you.

You hate it when he’s right.

A comfortable silence settles as you lie back for him. His face hovers over yours, and your noses brush. He leans down to meet your lips and you turn your head. You feel his brows furrow against your cheek, his lips place a chaste kiss to your jaw.

Chan whispers your name, but you shake your head.

“I don’t wanna talk about it.”

“I—”

“Please,” you plead, turning to face him again. Your attention flickers down to his lips. His hot breath fans over your face. “That’s not what this is about.”

Chan sighs, rolling off to lay beside you. “I don’t want to do this then.”

You sit up on your elbows to find him rubbing his face. His curls are still wet, muscular body laid out before you. You swallow thickly at the sight of his erect, pink tipped cock, glistening with your recent orgasm. When you glance back up to try to meet his gaze, you find he is fighting off a knowing smile, already staring at you.

“It kinda looks like you do.”

“You’re just as eager.” He says it like he has you figured out, but you weren’t even trying to hide it.

You rest a hand on his chest. He rubs your closest bicep, once firm fingers now so delicate on your skin.

As your hand trails down his abdomen, tracing every ridge, you ask, “Are you sure you don’t want this?”

He swallows thickly, throat bobbing. He moves from your arm to cup your cheek. He thumbs your lips, smirking when you lean into his touch. “Rest for a minute,” he gently commands. “I can smell how sensitive you are.”

You press your thighs together, biting back a hiss from the pressure.

He only smiles.

Then, his composure wavers as your fingers reach his pelvis, tracing his v-line until you reach his cock. His hips jerk at your touch. You’re about to giggle when his hand falls from your cheek to your neck. He glares, tightening his fist. You hold him properly in your hand and begin pumping him.

“Why do you always insist on testing my patience?” He asks, sitting up to tower over you. “Why can’t you just behave? Don’t you want to be my good girl?”

“Yes!” you beseech. Your voice trembles with desperation.

His gaze softens. He places his hand over yours, stopping your movements on his cock. “Babe—”

You shift on the bed, removing yourself from him. Chan sits up when you crawl between his legs. He pauses. Brows furrowed, lips in a pout, he tries again, saying your name only to be cut off by your hands on his knees.

You push his legs further apart.

His breath hitches. You watch lust cloud over his eyes as they flash a dark red. You scoot closer. Hand wrapping around him again, you smother your face against his shaft. You start at the base and inhale deeply. Eyes rolling back, you drag your tongue up his length.

His thighs tense, chest constricts with a sharp breath.

Lips around his tip, you suck the remnants of his orgasm and oozing pre-cum. A small ‘pop’ sounds when you pull away and a string of salvia still connects your lips to his throbbing tip. You pump him a couple of times, watching as he tries and fails not to squirm in his seat. He fists the edge of the unmade bed, face scrunched up in pleasure. You hold his wolfish gaze as you spit on his length, rub it against him and then dive back around him. You start slow, knowing oral with Chan is more of a marathon rather than a race. You have to pace yourself, take him in batches. Not only is he long, but thick too. He feels heavy in your hand alone, your jaw already aching.

He lets out a throaty groan. He pulls back your hair with both hands, tangling his fingers on either side of your head. Gripping tight, he attempts to guide you into a quicker pace. You let him, hollowing your cheeks and unleashing your tongue around him.

Chan throws his head back. He inhales sharply and hisses as he looks back down at you again. “Ah, baby,” he moans, petting your hair back only to get a tighter grip on it. “Mmm, that’s my good girl.”

He sounds needy already, claiming you in a growl. You feel the words rumble from his chest and against your tongue.

It spurs you on. You twist your wrist with every bob now, moving faster, testing your limits as you take more of him in. He moans your name and you gag. He tugs on your hair and you drool. When he shoves you further down on him then you’re prepared for, you force yourself to take it, violently fighting against your gag reflex. He trembles from the vibration, warming his cock a second longer in your throat before pulling you back by the grip on your hair.

You heave, tears fall freely down your face. Chan takes his cock out of your hand and smacks it against your tongue. Wet, it splatters saliva and cum around your face.

“Breathe, babe,” he quietly moans. You can only just make out a smirk through your watery vision.

You wrap your hand back around him and dive under his shaft. You take his balls in your mouth, catching the faint sound of his toes curling, and suck. Rotating your wrist, you jerk him off to the rhythm of your suction, tight and fast.

“You fucking slut,” he growls, eager to move your hair out of your face.

You moan at the insult, using your other hand to wrap around the base of his balls and gently squeeze as you suck hard.

Chan cums. It seems to catch him off guard as he jolts in place and gasps rather than growls. His thighs tremble beside you as another rope shoots out and over your back. You pump him faster, swallow between harsh suctions, and moan with him. The bed squeaks and shifts as he falls back.

You start to slow your movements when he roars, his alpha prominent in his voice, “Don’t fucking stop, you little cunt.”

Smirking, you resume your quick pace. Chan groans on the bed, humping your hand as his orgasm continues. He coats your hair and back with his cum a couple more times before he sits up again. He grabs onto your hair and yanks you away from his balls. They drop from your mouth with a wet ‘pop.’

That sound is starting to become one of your favourites, but then Chan croaks your name.

He leans your head back and replaces your hand around his cock with his own. “Stick out your tongue,” he orders, jerking himself off.

You do as you’re told, holding his gaze. His hand moves from your hair to your face. He caresses your cheek for a second, eyes darkening as his wolf shines through. He then holds your throat in his fist, groaning when you let out a frayed whine. He parts his lips to degrade you no doubt but gets cut off by another orgasm – courtesy of the heat. Cum coats your tongue, shoots around your lips and cheeks as it twitches frantically.

“Swallow,” he demands, the grip around your throat tightening. He smirks when you gulp against his palm. The sight of you being so obedient must have done something to him because another rope of cum shoots over your face.

You shut your eyes with a gasp. Your tongue swirls around your lips to lick off whatever missed your mouth. Chan lets go of his cock long enough to collect the cum over your eye and cheek. He shoves his thumb in your mouth, a quiet moan rumbling in his chest as you suck and swallow.

He repeats his actions until you’ve swallowed all his cum.

The tip of his erection pokes your chin, summoning your attention. Ensnared by the heat, it pulsates against your skin, hot and needy. You recall all the times you begged him to eat you out when you were in his position just desperate to cum, cum, cum all over that handsome face. You’re not surprised to find he is experiencing the same thing, with his endurance strengthened and sex drive intensified.

“Do you want more?” You ask, hoping to bait him into begging.

He sighs, lips breaking into a tired smile. “Not here,” he shakes his head. “Stand up for me?”

“Say please,” you say anyway. From the way you catch a hint of his wolf’s intimidation in his gaze, you can only assume the mischievousness of your own has surfaced on your features.

Swallowing thickly, he concedes to your alpha, muttering through gritted teeth, “Please.”

You smirk and stand. However, your reign of control flatters as you find that your legs are still weak. He put a substantial amount of his strength into his previous thrusts in the hall. While you can usually keep up, the spiked dose of testosterone due to the heat has amplified his power.

He wraps you in his arms, pulling you into his chest, before you can even reach out to and stabilise yourself against the bed. He kisses the top of your head, the act no doubt out of habit, and you regret to find that you melt into him. He does it again, and again, guiding your bodies towards the door.

As you make your way down the hall, his hands run down your back before grabbing a handful of both cheeks. You bite back a moan, risking a peek up at him.

A knowing smile plays on his lips. And his eyes gleam with pride and adoration. His grip becomes soft, hands cradling you against him.

You flicker your gaze down at his lips, so full and sweet. You don’t realise you’ve been tracing them with your thumb until you feel the cold tile of the bathroom beneath you. The humid steam from Chan’s recent shower still lingers, dampening your skin.

“Didn’t you just shower?” You ask as he leans over you to turn the tap on.

Chan smirks down at you, tonguing his cheek when you stiffen at the proximity of his lips over yours. “Yes,” he breathes, making a point to fan his hot breath on your face.

You gulp, unable to avert your gaze from his lips no matter how loud you mentally shout. Digging your nails into his shoulder, you attempt to recenter yourself, perhaps even work up the strength to create some distance between you long enough to remember that this is out of obligation and nothing more.

“So why—”

“Because I fucked my hand thinking about you,” he starts helping you into the shower.

He falls quiet for a moment, watching the warm water spray down your hair, over your body.

You lean your head back, letting the water wash away the despair and anguish of loving someone who cannot love you. You run your hands through your hair. Your eyes flutter shut. You embrace the heat, the comfort of the thickening steam. He knows how hot you prefer your showers, and endures them even if they’re “scotching.” His skin would gleam a bright red once you’re done and he’d sulk about it until you kiss every last blotch. You’d tell him to just set it colder next time, but he never does.

You’re not sure why someone, who would burn for you, is so content with hiding you. If his love for you is so strong he can stand for hours under “scotching” water, why can it not endure the withering judgement of his family?

Chan traces the outline of your breasts. You look back at him, his touch drawing you from your thoughts. He cups them gently, thumbing your nipples.

“I want to feel you clenching around me this time,” he whispers, brushing your nose with his.

He squeezes once, twice, and by the third, he uses his grip to shove you against the wall.

You moan the moment your back meets the cool wall, arching into him to escape the cold.

“I want you against this wall,” he lifts your right leg to rest it over his shoulder, “folded all pretty,” he lifts the left to rest it on his other one, “moaning and whining, just like you always do.”

You whimper.

His lips hover over yours, breath hot.

You shiver against him, unable to escape the cold of the shower tiles now.

He makes this so easy. He holds you so close, rubbing his shaft between your folds, nudging your nose with his own. He peppers delicate kisses under your jaw. He grazes the skin with his teeth. His fingers dig into the fat of your ass, keen on holding you up. You almost lose yourself hearing him quietly moan against your neck. His lips are so close to your pulse, you can almost feel the vibrations of his voice echo with your heartbeat.

He makes it so easy to love him, it takes everything in you to snap your eyes open and pull yourself out of the familiarity of the act.

“Fuck me,” you whisper, voice smoky and breathless.

Chan pulls himself away enough to meet your gaze, noting the slight influence of your alpha in your voice. His eyes still gleam a deep red.

You stifle your dominant wolf for a moment, yielding to his, as you try again. “Please? Please fu—”

Your breath hitches, words failing, as he pushes into you.

Chan tries but fails to hide his smirk. He watches your face scrunch in pleasure, your brows furrowing, nose slightly wrinkled and jaw slack, tonguing his cheek to suppress a cocky chuckle. He can’t help himself for long, however, breathing a little laugh as he dips his head to lick the drool now dripping from the corner of your lip.

Barely holding it together with how deep he reaches already, you cannot resist the loud moan that tears through your throat at the feeling of his warm, wet tongue dragging across your skin.

Your toes curl, legs trembling already.

Chan notices, throwing his head back to allow a full-fledged laugh to echo in the steamy room. The vibrations resonating off his chest and against yours are not doing you any favours either, your orgasm already gathering.

Your face grows hot, eyes water from the sheer embarrassment of your pathetic stamina.

“Stop laughing at me!” You attempt to order. The words are frayed, however, croaking with the thick impression of desperation and amatory.

It’s enough to snap him out of his egotistic stance and ram his hips into yours.

You scream– You tangle your fingers in his hair, gripping onto his messy, curled strands and scream. The pressure of his girth pushing through your tight walls, pulsating. The speed of his thrusts, the slam of his body, hips moving out and up right into you, so deep, so—

“Not yet,” Chan warns through a rogue growl.

You want to obey, you really do. You screw your eyes shut, hold your breath, and even clench tightly, eager to keep your orgasm at bay. But all it seems to do is encourage it.

The force of his hips become so strong now, your legs begin to bounce further and further along his shoulders until they’re just dangling over his forearms. You try to resume the position he so keenly put you in but cannot find enough strength to hold off your orgasm and move your legs at the same time.

Chan doesn’t seem to mind anyway. His pace, his force, even his depth does not falter. He moves just as aggressively, determined to use every hidden inch of you.

Your whiny moans stagger with each thrust, each one raising in pitch. Tears sting your eyes again. Your voice breaks. Cedar wood and peppercorn, wet and thick, invades your senses as you gasp for a breath.

You meant to say something— maybe his name, maybe even the beginning of a sentence you never intended to finish. But your words cinch at your throat, your breath hitches and fails, and your voice hits an octave you don’t think Chan would have been able to hear were he not a werewolf.

Your orgasm gushes around him. You only just hear the wet smacks of skin on skin as blood rushes to your head and disorients your mind. There’s a ringing in your ears; your vision blurs. You feel so light, your head so empty.

Chan holds you up, engulfing your body in a tight hug as he continues. You’re not sure how long it takes him but he eventually finishes, shooting ropes of warm cum deep inside you. His head nuzzles deep in the crook of your neck, inhaling and licking your scent as he rides his high, using you like a cocksleeve.

Then, he helps you stand. Your legs wobble, sore, and he holds you close. For a moment, you forget where you are and how you got here, you forget the heartbreak and arguments, you forget the regretful realisations and troubled truths. For a moment, it’s just you and it’s just Chan, and it’s just another shower.

It’s just mates.

And then the water runs cold.

There is something off about the smell in the hallway. It doesn’t merely linger with notions of someone in heat. Due to the effects of the blue moon, Minho can detect hints of desperation, despair. It’s as though there’s a strong yearning in the air, salty like tears and bitter like sweat. He cannot pinpoint it to an apartment though, the scent flooding the entire floor.

“Chan needs to open a window,” Jisung mutters.

Minho adjusts his grip on the grocery bags. “Maybe he’s not the only one,” he wonders aloud. “We aren’t the only wolves in the building.”

“Why is the smell only here then? Why didn’t we smell it when we came in or got on the elevator?”

Minho swallows thickly. He has known Chan for almost ten years. And while Chan does his best to hide his burdens and worries, Minho can always tell when something is off. There is always a certain rigidness in his posture or sharpness in his voice. He doesn’t smile as easily and there’s a tiny yet prominent crease between his brows.

Given the effects of the blue moon, Minho can also smell it. He can smell anxiety, uncertainty, misery. He can smell hints of fear, desire, and something pure, something whole.

“I’m telling him to open a window anyway,” Jisung sighs.

“Don’t bother him. He’s going through enough.”

“It’s a quick knock,” Jisung argues, “I won’t even go in.”

Minho rolls his eyes.

The smell intensifies around the apartment door. Minho begrudgingly realises that Jisung might be right. Chan does need to crack open a window.

Discomfort brews in his chest at the fact that this also means that his friend must be suffering. This does not smell like the usual mess of chaotically erratic and eager nerves, though. This smells of pain, regret and… heartbreak?

What is going on with his friends lately? Chan is experiencing a soul-trampling heat. You locked yourself in your room since last night. And you snapped at him this morning. He noticed you left the party hastily last night only to rush back and hide in your room. He asked Kai what happened, having caught glimpses of the two of you dancing earlier that night, but Kai was just as confused. Worried, he gently knocked on the door to check on you, and you barked at him to get the fuck out of your room. In all the years Minho has known you, you have never once spoken to him like that.

Minho and Jisung share a look as they stand before the apartment door. Minho sets the bags down. Jisung holds his fist up at the door, about to knock.

“Chan! P-please!”

Minho stiffens. Jisung spares a sidelong glance at him.

Is that—?

“Fuck, I can cum in you right now.”

“Please! Please daddy!”

Minho can feel the blood drain from his face. “What the fuck,” he whispers, taking a step back.

Jisung’s jaw drops. He frantically points at the door, looking between the thick wood and Minho. “That’s—”

“I know.”

“With—”

“I know,” Minho repeats in a hiss.

He should have known, shouldn’t he? You’ve both been acting weird, disappearing at similar times, having one-on-one chats that seem to end the moment someone else walks into a room. Your behaviour yesterday at the dome was an oddity in itself. You drove twenty minutes to see him after you knew everyone would have gone. And the smell in the air when Minho walked back in there… God, were you two fucking in there too?

Jisung holds his head, eyes wide, breath heavy. “I need to tell someone,” he whispers. “I need to tell everyone!”

Minho snaps his attention back to Jisung, watching him pace by the door. “Are you insane? They clearly don’t want anyone to know.”

“But we do know!”

“And that’s why no one else can know.”

“But—”

“Jisung!” Minho whisper-yells, cutting him off. “What if that was you and, I don’t know, Hyunjin?”

Jisung pauses.

“Would you want all your friends knowing and talking about it behind your back?” Upon Jisung’s silence, Minho nods over to his own apartment and continues, “Now we’re going inside and pretending like nothing happened.”

Sighing defeatedly, Jisung shuffles towards the other door. He crosses his arms over his chest and quietly asks, “Can we at least agree that this is crazy?”

Minho rubs his face. “Sure,” he mumbles before opening the door.

The smell of freshly baked cookies and brownies only momentarily refreshes Minho’s senses. He reveals in this sacred second of serenity before the collided smell of his friends’ pheromones attacks once more.

“Jesus, shut the door,” Changbin whines, covering his nose.

“I prefer Jisung.”

Minho glares at Jisung’s stupid joke, closing and locking the door.

“Someone tell Chan to open a window,” Seungmin says around a bite of his cookie.

“He’s definitely opening something,” Jisung whispers under his breath.

Minho shoots him a cautious glare as Felix asks, “What?”

“Nothing,” Minho reassures.

Jisung rolls his eyes. He inhales deeply before walking over to where Felix and Seungmin sit in the kitchen. Minho carefully watches him, straining his ears to listen to their conversation.

“Well, did you?” Jeongin asks.

Minho turns to find Jeongin standing in front of him, a concerned look on his face.

“What?”

“Did you see ____ on your way up here?” Jeongin repeats. “She went down to get her charger from the car like twenty minutes ago.”

Sparing a quick glance at Jisung, Minho replies, “No, we didn’t.”

Jeongin rubs the back of his neck. “I’m worried about her,” he quietly confesses, “She’s been acting weird lately.”

“I haven’t noticed,” Minho lies.

“Really? She literally yelled at you this morning.”

Minho catches Jisung shifting his weight from the corner of his eye. Keep it together, he thinks before turning back to Jeongin.

“Maybe it’s the blue moon,” Minho shrugs.

Jeongin nods. He looks at the ground, rubbing down his neck to his shoulder again and again.

Minho bites his lip. He squeezes Jeongin’s arm and offers a small smile, “It’s going to be alright. She just needs some spac—”

“Chan and ____ are sleeping together!” Jisung suddenly shouts.

Everyone is on their feet, walking towards Jisung or looking at Minho for confirmation.

“What?”

“Where?”

“How do you know?”

“Where are they doing it?”

“Are you sure?”

“Guys, where are they doing it?” Changbin repeats.

“Why? Are you trying to watch?” Seungmin sarcastically questions. “Who cares where they’re doing it? Why didn’t they just tell us they’re dating?”

Changbin furrows his brows, shaking his head. “Someone tore my mattress and Chan told me it was a couple from the party last night.”

“Did he say which couple?” Felix asks.

“No…” Changbin trails off as his terror settles over him.

Trying and failing to hold back his laughter, Minho shares a look with his friends. They’re all failing to contain themselves, merely stifling their amusement and averting their gazes.

That bout of fear in his eyes morphs into anger as Changbin clenches his fists.“It’s not funny!” He insists, stomping towards the door, “I’m going to kill them!”

Minho tries to stop him but Changbin is determined to get through, pushing around his friends. He yanks the door open, stumbling back from the scent. He regains his anger quickly, however, about to storm across the hall when your scream, only just muffled by the door, echoes around the room.

No one moves. Not a breath can be heard. Whatever humour once lingered between the group of friends disappears.

Changbin slowly shuts the door.

The lock clicks.

He stares at it for a second longer before turning around and returning to his place on the couch, muttering, “I think they’re busy.”

“Maybe it’s not what we think,” Felix interjects, defusing some of the awkward tension. “Maybe she’s just helping him through the heat?”

“He did leave around the time she was in heat a few months ago,” Jeongin agrees. “He said something about a trip to the beach.”

“What does it even matter?” Minho wonders aloud. “Who cares if it’s just for the heat or if they’re dating or if it’s just sex or whatever. Who cares? Why would they hide it from us?”

Jisung shrugs, “It’s awkward to talk about. I mean think about it— they know what the other does when they’re about to… you know…” he trails off as a chorus of disgusted groans erupt. “See! No one wants to talk about that.”

“Don’t be gross, Jisung. No one but you is that perverted,” Changbin chastises. “It’s obviously about Chan’s parents. They have been on his ass about marrying an ‘obedient omega girl’ for as long as I can remember.”

“What century is this?” Jeongin chuckles.

“They’re purists,” he continues. “It’s a whole religious or survival-type thing for them.”

Minho hides his shock with a bite of his lip. He didn’t know purists still existed, much less that Chan’s parents are believers.

“How can it be both?” Hyunjin asks, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Because they are not worshipping anything. They just participate in a ritual of ancient practice,” Changbin answers.

When Hyunjin’s face still reflects his confusion, Felix explains instead. “You know how, like, no one can find a mate anymore,” he asks, continuing when Hyunjin nods, “Purists think that if they mate an alpha with an omega, they can appease the moon into blessing our kind with mates again. So, they don’t worship the moon. It’s just an ancient belief our ancestors had.”

Hyunjin furrows his brows. “But what about people whose mates are not werewolves? How do they explain that?”

“They don’t,” Changbin sharply replies. Minho notes the tension in his shoulders, the disapproval in his eyes, and wonders how many times Chan has spoken to him about his parents.

This time Chan’s growls, distant across the hall, slightly tremble the walls, only just cutting through the conversation.

Seungmin snatches his phone. Minho parts his lips, about to tell him not to call or text when loud music fills the room. It mostly drowns out the travelling sounds from across the hall.

Looking around the room, Minho shares an uncertain look with his friends. “Let’s just get through the night,” he calls over the music, “And talk to them about it tomorrow.”

This should ease his mind, but Minho is only left with more questions. If you two are together, why were you dancing with Kai? Is that why Chan left in the middle of his set or why you locked yourself in your room all day? Whatever is happening must be more than sex — or at least smells like more.

Minho crinkles his nose at the thought.

Chan lathers his shampoo into your hair, his fingertips delicately pressing into your scalp. He runs his hands through the strands when rinsing. He then drags a vanilla-scented, foamy loofa in circles around your torso, arms and between your legs. You hold your breath as he carefully avoids the apex of your thighs. His eyes ever-so slightly gleam maroon at the scent of your sensitivity.

You meant to tell him that he doesn’t need to do this. You are more than capable of cleaning yourself. But your legs still tremble and you find yourself clutching onto his broad shoulders in a weak attempt to stabilise yourself.

And he’s just so gentle. He cradles your body close, brushing his lips against your forehead. He holds you like you might shatter at any moment. He holds you like he might lose you under the spray of the hot shower, like you might dissolve between his fingers. Your wolf whimpers deep in your gut at the thought of losing this. You were missing his tender touch all alone in your bed last night.

Still, you refuse to meet his gaze. You refuse to be lulled back by the sight of those big brown eyes and red tipped ears. You refuse to forget that this is an obligation— (the word becoming meaningless the more you mentally repeat it.)

The water cools again. Chan reaches behind you to adjust the settings once more. His scent screeds from under his arms.

Breath hitching, wolf whining, you sway into him. Fuck, you just need an inch of distance to gather yourself. If you continue to nuzzle into him outside the context of a heat-fuck, he might start to believe that all is forgiven.

“I need to lay down,” you mutter, peeling yourself off his chest. His scent consumes you once more, only it's wet. It’s in the air. It’s dripping from his shoulders, his torso, his pelvis, racing down his strong legs. It’s intoxicating, breath-taking, you stagger over your next inhale, nails piercing into his skin.

Chan shuts off the tap. He maintains a hand on your waist as he reaches some towels. He wraps his thick, grey robe around your shoulders.

You regrettably meet his gaze. He’s tilting his head down, attentively scanning your features for a sign of discomfort.

If he had bitten you, he’d be able to read your mind and know that you are struggling to contain yourself around him. He’d know that you’ve been gripping, by the fangs of your teeth, onto your anger, your disappointment, your heartbreaking realisation that he doesn't love you.

“I want a regular towel,” you whisper as if hoping he won’t hear it.

Chan bends down to properly meet your tearful eyes. “Are you sure?” he gently asks. “You like how comfy my robe is.”

Correction: you adore how comfy it is. It’s like being wrapped in a cloud of Chan. You would often dream about that robe when trying to fall asleep some nights when you’re particularly missing him. You’ve stolen it all of three times, cuddling into it before he would come over and take it back.

“How am I supposed to get clean?” he’d ask.

“I like you dirty.”

You’re about to ask for a towel again but find yourself already stuffing your arms into the robe. You curse the muscle memory of being in this position countless times before. His scent completely engulfs you and you stop trying to fight it. If this is going to be the last time you wear his robe, or let him dote on you, then you might as well enjoy it, at least while you still can.

Chan ties it tight around you, letting you lean into him as he reaches for another towel to wrap about his waist. You make it a point not to look down, feign interest in the wall tiles.

You expected him to help you out of the shower. You just didn’t think he’d lift you again. The strength of his wolf makes it effortless, but you thought he’d be exhausted after cumming as aggressively as he did. You can still feel the vibrations of his growls echoing in your bones.

“I’m gonna ruin your sheet,” you try to warn as he lays you back on his bed.

Chan smirks, “Promise?”

You can’t fight off the heat that rushes to your cheeks. You sink down into his soft pillows, remembering their comfort on stormy nights when he’d sneak you in and you’d cuddle to sleep. Things were so simple then. A secret was just a secret. Sex was just sex.

Now, as you lay on his bed, drenched in his scent with him lying beside you, you wish you could return to those moments where loving you was not a burden.

It was easy once, wasn’t it? You remember that it was easy for him to sneak glances at you across the room, and risk teasing you in front of the others. His eyes would light up when you enter a room. You always thought that gesture alone would get you caught. When did being yours become so hard for him?

How many times do I have to tell you I love you for you to believe me?

The question echoes, distant yet loud.

Did he mean it? Was it just another symptom of the blue moon?

Hints of vanilla body wash fuse with his musky cedar scent. The spice of the peppercorn and freshness of linens soothe you out of your anxiety. For a moment, eyes fluttering shut, you pretend this is normal. You pretend that you spent the night here, that the guys are in the other room trying to stay quiet while you sleep in after an eventful night with Chan. You pretend that you always wake up in his bed, stretch out his clothes, and flirt shamelessly in front of your friends.

For a moment, you were never a secret. You hold hands, share food, go on dates within the county lines and kiss in supermarket aisles. It’s just you and Chan. No one else matters.

Thump.

The front door shuts.

You rub an eye open, sitting up. The room is illuminated pink and blue by the triangle lights above Chan’s bed. A blanket drapes over your robe-wrapped body.

You look through the gape of the door to find Chan, in black briefs, pacing around the kitchen. You’re about to push the blanket off you, curious to see what’s going on, when he quietly enters the room.

“Oh, you’re up,” he says, offering a gentle smile. Handing you a bottle of vitamin water, he adds, “Did I wake you?”

You accept, careful not to touch his hand.

“How long was I out for?”

Chan shrugs, “About two hours.”

As you open the bottle and take timid sips, the robe that was once securely tightened around you, begins to drape off your right shoulder. You notice Chan staring over the rim of the bottle. He tongues his cheeks, eyes becoming distant in his usual unidentifiable stare.

His heat must still have a tight grip on him.

“You alright?” you ask as you cap the bottle.

Chan nods slowly. He then circles the bed to lay down beside you.

You settle back against the pillows.

“You always smell like jasmine, sandalwood, and honey,” Chan announces. “It bothered me so much when we first met. I would get so nervous around you. I thought it was my wolf protecting me, like it was trying to warn me against you or something.”

You remember that first week in the apartment. Chan always sat farthest from you. He avoided your gaze. He talked to you only when he had to and usually used your friends as messengers.

“Jisung told me you have trouble trusting people.”

“Jisung needs to learn to keep his mouth shut,” Chan jokes, tucking an arm under his head.

You resist the urge to laugh. None of this changes the fact that he hurt you, that he couldn’t even promise to tell your friends about your relationship. Even if he sees how wrong he is now, even if he apologises, it does not change anything.

You are still a secret. He is still ashamed.

Your wolf whimpers deep in your chest. You roll your eyes at it.

“Why are you telling me this?”

Chan sighs. You hear him swallow before he asks, “Do you remember when you started dating Jeremy?”

You cast him a sidelong glance, brows knitted in confusion. “You hated Jeremy.”

“I hated Jeremy,” he agrees. “I hated it when you laughed at his jokes, I hated it when he held your hand, when you hugged, when you kissed, even when you touched. It made me sick. I hated him so much, Changbin had to ask me not to go bowling with you anymore because I made him too uncomfortable. Do you remember that?”

“God,” you smile at the reminder, falling back into your memories, “Friday night bowling was insane.”

Jisung and Hyunjin bickered. Minho kept trying to do trick-shots, which never worked and always mildly injured anyone who made the mistake of standing too close. Changbin shouted, Felix danced, Seungmin playfully mocked anyone in sight, and Jeongin always missed his turn, too distracted by his friends’ antics.

Chan always sulked. He lingered behind Jeremy, watching him bowl and then made a comment about his form. You noticed that Jeremy always stiffened around him, but you thought that was a normal interaction when it came to Chan. It was how you often reacted to his presence. You always stiffened when he entered a room or deigned to share a few words with you. When he bowled, however, you froze and gawked at how he sucked his cheeks as he pondered or rolled his shoulders back before finally taking his turn. You hadn’t realised that you were reacting to the bond or that Jeremy was threatened by Chan’s overbearing behaviour.

One Friday, Jemery bowled his first strike and Chan flipped him off.

“He’s just competitive,” Changbin had to reassure Jeremy.

You coddled his ego all week, repeating time and again that Chan was just a protective friend.

“Friday night bowling was torture,” Chan affirms through a little chuckle, pulling you out of your memories.

You turn to him. He’s already looking at you.

“Chan—”

“I didn’t realise how much I liked you until I fucked my pillow, thinking about you,” he confesses. “I watched Jeremy take you home one night and couldn’t stop thinking about walking over there and just pulling you into my arms instead. I wanted to kiss you in front of him. I wanted to bend you over the nearest table and show him how to properly fuck you. I knew from the way you talked back, he had no idea what he was doing.”

You bite your lip, pulling your legs closer towards your body.

Chan spares a glance at the gesture. A notion of a smirk tugs on a corner of his lips.

“I realised that all I ever thought about was you. You’re the only person I wanted to see. I would ask Changbin to check on you and stand nearby just to hear about your day. I felt pathetic. I even followed you around the apartment whenever you came over because I couldn’t get enough of your scent.”

You lick your lips, turning to look back up at the ceiling. “What do you want me to do with this information?” you ask, voice level, tone distant.

“I…” he trails off. “I just thought—”

“This won’t change my mind.”

“I’m not trying to!”

“It’s over!” you shout, sitting up as you look towards him.

He doesn’t move, jaw tight.

You sigh and dig the heel of your palms into your eyes.

“It doesn’t hav—”

“It does,” you cut off, sparing a glance at him over your shoulder. You rest your hands back in your lap, repeating, “We’re done, Chan.”

There is a beat of silence before he asks, voice raspy, “So, this is it? This is our last heat together? Are we even friends after this?”

Of course, we are, you want to say. You’re my best friend.

No one sees you like Chan does. He silences a room when you want to speak, he memorises your favourite colours, scents, textures and randomly gifts them to you. He’d send you things that remind him of you, once sharing a playlist he curated with songs he’d know you enjoy. Even before you started dating, he’d buy your favourite drinks and leave them in the fridge for you. He’d make sure you’re eating and even offer to drive you places. Though still standoffish, he’d let you corner him and talk his ears off about whatever bothered you that day.

“We will never stop being mates,” he adds in a faint whisper, as if thinking aloud to himself.

That sounds like your problem– the words are on the tip of your tongue, fuelled by rage from the injustice of it all. You’re the one who let me down first!

However, heartbreak arrests your voice.

Do you even have the strength to be in the same room after this? Will you be able to look at him without your legs giving out?

Maybe you can try distracting yourself with someone else instead.

The thought leaves a foul taste in your mouth. You’re not sure you can stomach the scent of someone else.

Oh god… what if he finds someone else….

You tremble, clenching tightly onto the blanket. How quickly will he move on after this? Do his parents already have another girl picked out for him? They’ve already tried to set up blind dates multiple times before. You’ve overheard enough phone calls between him and his parents to be sure.

“I see,” Chan whispers, taking your silence as an answer.

You swallow thickly as your eyes water. Shoulders slumped, head hanging, you draw in a deep breath, inhaling the comfort of his scent. The bed shifts with your exhale.

Chan sits up beside you. He brings a gentle hand to the small of your back. You feel the tips of his fingers trace delicate circles up and down, round and around your skin. And you hate how it makes your wolf flutter. You try and fail to fight the desire to lean back into his touch.

You meet his gaze, parting your lips to say something— anything, only to find tears gathering in his eyes as well. Skin flushed, lips full, wet and ears pink-tipped, he’s devastatingly beautiful. You wrestle every last nerve in your body to not take back what you said.

“I love you,” Chan whispers. His voice wavers with sincerity and regret.

Leaning in, you meant to only kiss him goodbye. You meant for your lips to momentarily press, and your parting to be official.

But those soft lips taste of his salty tears and your heart can’t help soaring from the bittersweetness of them. You break the kiss to lick at those tears again and again. You don’t realise you’re moaning until Chan pulls you onto his lap.

You straddle him because it’s muscle memory and nothing more, you tell yourself. You straddle him because you will never straddle him again after this. You straddle him to hold him close one last time, to feel his heart hammer against yours as your fated blood courses through your veins as one.

His tongue draws yours back into a kiss. You run your hands through his damp hair, gently tugging on his half-curled strands. He moans into your mouth like he did during the blue moon. His fingers press against the fat of your ass, pulling your hips down against his.

Hard, thick, his clothed erection rubs between your folds. You clench, instantly dampening the soft cotton of his briefs. He quivers with you. A deep growl crawls from the base of his chest and resonates against your tongue.

You can’t help your moan. You can’t help the jut of your hips towards him, again and again, chasing the opportunity to hear that growl one more time, to feel it.

He only groans, however.

Wolf determined, you pull off your robe. Chan breaks the kiss at the wave of your freed scent, now unobscured by the thick robe. He buries his face in your neck, sucking on the sensitive skin before grazing it with his teeth. His hands find a place on your breasts, cupping and squeezing them as you continue to rhythmically dry hump him. Cradling his head with one hand, your other drags along his back, leaving jagged, reddish lines in their wake. You then dig your long nails into his shoulder and steady yourself for a forceful thrust, putting your wolf’s strength into it.

Chan whines. He shudders under you, whining your name in a croaky voice that unravels something primal deep in your gut.

Your hips halt.

Looking down at Chan, you expect to find pride in his eyes. It took him a while to submit to you at the gym last night. He challenged every order, attempted to hide every shiver. Egotistic and cocky, he teased you for as long as he could. You expected him to be chewing on his lip to hold back a smirk, to be regarding you carefully, silently cautioning you from mentioning this again.

Brown eyes, big and round, sparkle as he peers up at you. His chin glistens from your spit, lips blotchy from your kiss. His ears flame red, shoulders slump as you graze them with your nails. His arms wrap around you, pulling you closer against him.

Defeated? Regretful?

You’re not sure what causes such a shameless surrender. And with his cock throbbing beneath you, you don’t have time to find out right now.

Lifting your hips, you order, “Take’em off.”

His hands tremble as he lets go of you. Confusion creases his features.

“What?”

“Now.”

Chan attempts to maintain your severe stare while looping his thumbs around the waistband to wiggle his briefs off. His breath hitches before he can kick them off his ankles, attention now consumed by your hand wrapping around his throbbing erection.

You thumb his oozing tip; Chan gasps.

You squeeze his shaft; Chan crumbles, breathlessly moaning your name.

He grabs onto your thick thighs, nail-beds whitening from the pressure of his grip, and cranks his neck back to let your lips hover over his.

The suggestion of putting him in this position, at the mercy of your whims, was non-negotiable before tonight. He would have spanked you for it. He would have cuffed your limbs to the four corners of the bedposts and held a vibrator against your clit, teasing you closer and closer to your orgasm only to take it away when you were ready to let go. He wouldn’t have stopped until you were sobbing, promising never to bring it up again.

In truth, you would have only brought it up to receive a punishment that severe. You love the way Chan dictates order, commands control, especially when he wields it over you. The sheer thought has you biting your lip.

However, the Chan under you, allowing himself to remain locked under the cage of your thighs, fosters alpha tendencies buried deep within your gut. A pleased growl festers in your chest at the sight of him so willing, so broken.

“Where is the hard-headed alpha who wouldn’t let me tie him up?”

You don’t recognise your own voice, yet resist the urge to blink your surprise. You are well aware that it belongs to your alpha, but have never heard it sound so steady, so sure. While dark, the femininity of your voice cuts through like shattered glass— sharp and faintly lethal if injected in the bloodstream.

A trail of saliva leaks from the corner of his lips. You’re not sure he notices, or perhaps he just doesn’t care. He gawks at you, throat bobbing as he thickly swallows.

You run your free hand through his hair, softly scratching his scalp. You watch those big brown eyes flutter at the gentle gesture. Core clenching, you bite your lip to force back a moan.

Chan’s eyes snap open as you tug on his short strands. Astonished pride swims within his gaze as you stare him down.

“I-I just want whatever you w-want,” he finally answers in a breathy whisper.

“You’re the one in heat.”

“Not anymore,” he replies, shaking his head. “I don’t think so anyway.”

You hold his shaft between your folds, grinding against his length. Chan shivers, brushing his nose with yours.

“You don’t have the overwhelming urge to fuck me anymore?” You tease, pointedly nudging your nose with his. “Should I stop—”

“No!”

You remember that voice, that degree of pathetic desperation. You bite down on his bottom lips and pull as you align his length with your needy hole.

“Please,” he attempts to utter as you suck on his lip. You let go of it with a ‘pop.’ Eager to taste your tongue, he pulls the swollen lip into his mouth, eyes fluttering shut.

You tsk at him, lightly shaking his head with the grip on his hair. “There’ll be none of that,” you chastise. “Open your eyes.”

He wordlessly follows orders.

Because he’s been so forthcoming, and you really cannot deny your desires for much longer, you sink down on his cock. Exchanging breaths, you gasp into each other’s mouths.

Chan lets out a throaty moan when you completely seat yourself on his lap again. You can tell from the way his shoulders tremble, he’s doing his best to resist the urge to jut his hips up into yours.

As the neon lights in his room cast a reddish glow, the realisation of his beauty hits you all over again. His eyes sparkle with adoration, hot face flushes with desire. From his lips down to his chin, his skin glistens with unquenched hunger.

You tease a roll of your hips.

He sets his jaw, rasping moans.

You brush a section of his hair back towards his ear, the same way he often does to you. I love you too, you want to tell him. I love you so much, I’m debating on being your secret for eternity if it means I get to always be yours.

Instead you still your hips, resisting the urge to smirk when he quietly whines, and ask, “Did I ever tell you why he broke up with me?”

Chan furrows his brows. “Jer—”

“Yes,” you quickly cut him off. “Did I ever tell you what happened?”

Chan shakes his head. He wraps his arms around your waist, smothering your breasts against his chest. He pecks the point of your chin and asks, “What happened?” like his needy cock isn’t buried deep within you.

You kiss his temple, petting back his hair before resting your arms on his broad shoulders. Then you rest your forehead against his, noses brushing, lips grazing as you confess, “I moaned your name.”

Chan blinks.

“I was trying to cum. He’s really sloppy and it was hard. My eyes were closed the whole time I guess,” you explain, voice shaking as his cock throbs against your walls. “I-I tried but I couldn’t stop thinking about you. It only felt bearable when I thought about you.”

His hips shift and you reactively clench around him. Chan groans, throwing his head back.

You whimper at the fullness, at the sudden onslaught of his scent seeping from his neck. Hands steady on his shoulders, you nudge him back onto the mattress.

He complies, unravelling himself from you to lay back onto his pillows. A smirk finds its way on his lips and he looks up at you.

“We should’ve done this more often,” he muses, tucking both arms under his head. “You look so pretty on top.”

Maybe it’s the overwhelming wave after wave of his scent, or that reawakened egotistic voice of his, but you decide that the time for words is over.

Gripping onto his waist, you lean forward and arch your back. Up and down, you bounce on his cock. Your ass smack, smack, smacks down on his thighs, pussy clenching around his thickness with each brush of friction.

“Oh my god,” you whine, letting go of his wrists to shift your grip up to his chest. “You’re so fucking b-big!”

Chan, hands freed from your hold, grab onto your ass, helping you find a steady pace.

“S-slow down,” he says, trailing his grip up to your hips. “I don’t want this to end.”

If you cum, you’d have to leave, you realise. Because this is over, this fuck will be your last. You’ll never get to revel at his size anymore, never get to whine his name or dig your nails into his skin.

You stop your thrusts and roll your hips around his.

Chan sits back up, pressing himself against you again. He hugs your waists and peppers kisses along your cheek and down your jaw. You write out his name with your hips as he licks at your neck.

“You misspelt my name,” he teases.

“Did not!”

“It’s a-n not u-n,” he corrects.

Putting your wolf’s strength into it, you grind harder onto him, respelling his name again and again. His legs tremble beneath you, growls turning into low chuckles.

Peeling himself from the crook of your neck, Chan gazes up at you, eyes gleaming with that unidentifiable emotion as he declares, “I am pathetically in love with you.”

You stop.

Chan holds you tighter. “I know it’s over,” he rushes to add. “I don’t deserve you, ____. I should have told them sooner. I should have told them when we found out that we’re mates. You shouldn’t have had to threaten me.”

You furrow your brows. “Wait,” you push his hair back to properly search his eyes. “What do you mean ‘told them sooner?’ Di-did you tell your parents about us?”

Chan swallows thickly.

“It doesn’t matter.”

“It does!” you shout, slightly leaning back.

The gesture causes his tip to hit a new angle. You cannot fight the strained moan that tears through your throat from the jolt of pleasure. You can hear him fight back a chuckle as he tries to keep you still.

“Do we have to talk about this now?” He asks.

Breathless, you ignore his question to pose your own. “When did you tell them?”

His cock pulsates at the new angle, making you tremble. This really isn’t the time for this conversation, but you don’t think you’ll be able to cum without this information.

Here you are, sitting on his cock for the first time, believing that it will also be your last. You are freely dictating your desires, allowing yourself to completely lose all inhibitions if it means you get to experience his cock before walking away from this forever. You’ve been wondering how to be friends, how to be around him after this and this entire time his parents knew.

You can’t continue without knowing how long they have known. Why did he let you believe they haven’t? Does he resent you for forcing him to tell them? Does he regret it?

“I called them after you left last night,” he confesses. “You were right about everything and I couldn’t live with myself knowing I have been treating you like shit.”

Tears gather in your eyes.

“I was gonna go after you but I got so sick out of nowhere. I wanted to throw up and eat my weight in chicken at the same time. Then I got so hot and cold. I couldn’t even move!”

You nod, knowing that feeling all too well. The tingle of your nerves, numbing your limbs the moment you lay down. Nausea overwhelms you and cannot possibly eat but you’re famished all the time. Clothes seem heavy but you’re too cold to lounge around naked. You usually become extremely active before becoming completely immobilised by your desperation to be filled though.

“That’s how it starts,” you confirm. The first week of your heat was jammed into a few hours for him. “You should have called me.”

Chan shakes his head. “I didn’t want you thinking I only told them because of the heat. You deserve more than that. You always have. ”

Swallowing thickly, your lips quiver as you ask, “Why did you let me end this? Why didn’t you tell me this when I told you it was over?”

“You were exhausted with me,” he shrugs, “and I wasn’t going to force you into something you didn’t want.”

His eyes water and, as he allows a smile to tug on the corners of his lips, you finally realise what that look in his gaze is. Once unidentifiable, you see it clearly for what it has always been: devotion, passion, worship.

You cup his face as tears fall down your cheeks. Chan leans in with you, eager to collide your lips. Your stomach flutters with delicate petals of heat. They bloom up into your chest, warming your body with a sense of comfort, familiarity and security. His tender kiss is a promise of protection, a declaration of devotion as his tongue glides along yours. You exchange breaths, share moans and grasp onto each other’s limbs.

Chan keeps one arm around you while the other rubs your thigh. You trail your hands from his face down to his back. As your hips begin to grind once more, you scratch at his back.

He hisses into the kiss.

You fight off a smile, arching your back to recreate that previous angle that made you breathless. Lifting your hips, you resume your shallow bounces on his desperately throbbing cock. His tip pushes against that soft spot deep within your core.

“F-fuck!” You whine, breaking the kiss to throw your head back.

Chan groans his pleasure and amusement. He drags his hands over the valley of your breasts before cupping your right one as he continues to support your back with his other arm. Despite his soft touch, he squeezes it firmly and sucks on your taut nipple.

His name trickles out of your mouth in a breathless moan. You sneak a glance down at him to find he is already looking up to you, the impressions of a smile on the corners of his lips. You push back his hair and he moans, vibrating his contentment against your sensitive nub.

“D-do you still want me to go-o slow?”

Chan releases your nipple with a wet pop. You tremble against him.

“I want you to bite me.”

You pause.

Chan tsks, and puts his hands on your hips. He moves your hips back up and down against himself. “If you stop again, I’m putting you on your back,” he threatens as he juts his own his up to meet yours.

Too stunned by his previous statement, you let him bounce you on his cock. You grip onto his shoulders, brows furrowed as you whine from the delicate friction.

“I can’t t-think—” you try to tell him.

“You don’t need to think,” he grunts as your breast brushes up on his tear-streaked cheeks from the force of every thrust. “Just bite me.”

You shake your head.

Those brown eyes are gleaming with notions of red. He’s drunk off the pheromones, possibly relieved by the fact that, based on your kiss, you are reconsidering the break up. He might even still be coming down from his heat. He doesn’t know what he’s saying.

“You don’t mean it.”

“Please,” he begs, voice breaking into a croaky rasp. “Please bite me, ____.”

Your breath hitches. You can feel his cock twitching. Is he just saying this because he wants to cum?

“Do it on my bicep,” he then adds, silencing your doubts, “I want it where everyone can see.”

You don’t remember summoning your fangs. However, judging by the way Chan doesn’t seem too surprised to see them, you assume your own eyes have been glowing red for a while.

“You’re sure?” You find yourself asking, gaze dancing between his left bicep and his face.

“A hundred percent,” he smiles.

You move your hair to one side, out of your way. Chan lays back down onto the mattress. You cease your thrusts to grind against him, recalling his previous threat. Grabbing a hold of his wrists, you hold his arms over his head.

Chan patiently watches you lean over him. Your heavy breasts jiggle against his face with every roll of your pelvis. The sight, the sensation of his thick girth pulsing against your walls for as long as it has, makes your toes curl. Remnants of the heat must be the only thing extending your stamina and endurance enough not to have cum yet.

As your teeth sink into his skin, a pang of euphoric anguish emits from your fangs. It resonates deep in your flesh, down to the marrow of your bones like the droning ding of a clock bell. All you hear is the hammering of hearts; all you see is the collision of veins, the entanglement of souls. You don’t mean to draw blood, you’re not sure if you’re even supposed to, but the taste of it solidifies authority over the foreign sensation coursing within your system.

Chan’s loud howl suddenly cuts through the powerful fog. His consistent withering beneath you pulls you out whatever trace you’ve fallen into. You retract your fangs to suck on the wound, licking away the blood as his wolfish genes quickly heal the area.

When you pull away, you find that you have stopped moving your hips, but you must admit that you are too consumed by the sight of the bite to care. Even healing, you can precisely make out your fangs between the other teeth marks now embedded in his flesh like a tattoo. It’s a pinkish red against his pale skin, blotching into a deep maroon as it attempts to heal.

His chest rises and falls steadily as you sit back on his lap. The jolt of friction between your hips snaps his eyes open. Red eyes meet your own.

Chan turns you over in a breath. He has you on your stomach in a blink. You don’t even feel him pull out of you. He just perks your ass up and shoves himself back in again.

“What did I fucking say,” he growls smacking your ass, “about stopping, you little slut?”

You whimper, wolfish nails tearing through his sheets. I was biting you, you want to shout. You were making sure he didn't bleed out. You don’t even remember stopping.

However, his thrusts are too forceful. He’s fucking the words right out of your mind.

Eyes rolling back, your body quakes. The knot in the base of your stomach, twisting and gnawing at you with every grind you previously rolled now becomes undeniably prominent. It grows as you moan, as he groans, craving—

“More please,” you weep, cheek smothered into the mess of pillows beneath you. “I-I need more!”

Chan tangles his fist in your hair. He uses his new grip to pull your back into his chest. One arm wraps around your middle, keeping you steady as he continues to pound into you. His other hand gathers your hair away from your shoulder. Lips soft, he kisses the nape of your neck.

You whimper, fangs poking out from your lips.

Maybe it's the smack of your ass against his hips, the wet squelch of your wetness, the thick scent of your sex, the heat of his breath on your sweaty skin. Maybe it’s the way he growls your name like a pitiful worshipper, thanking their lord for a blessing.

Whatever it may be, it manifests something primitive and carnal within him to snap.

And then you feel it— the blissful sting of a bite.

In the crook of where your neck meets your shoulder, Chan sinks his fangs into your skin. Where biting invoked sovereignty, being bitten provokes subjugation. An ache of euphoric agony pulsates from the infected area. Your muscles contract and relax with every breath Chan takes, your body submitting to the will of his. Your system almost resets as if a wave of ice water has splashed over your nerves. Heartbeat hammers, blood rushes to his pace, fogging your senses with him, him, him.

Chan retracts his fangs, licking the wound as you whimper in his arms.

You don’t realise you’re falling face first back into the bed until Chan readjusts his grip around your waist. He kisses the stinging bite wound, shushing you between your tremors and whines.

You wonder if you just came, the high of your climax rushing to your head and smothering your senses. You grip onto the rails of the bed frame, which were once knocking against the wall from the force of his hips, and sob his name between moans.

“It will hurt more if you don’t stay still,” Chan whispers, pulling you back into his chest.

The fullness of your core finally registers. You didn’t cum once, but twice. Chan had already cum with you, perhaps while he was biting you. And now you are locked in this position, both exhausted and weak, because he’s knotting.

You’ve never knotted, not with Chan, not with anyone. You thought it was as rare as finding a mate, knowing it does not occur unless both wolves are deeply connected and in the throes of their most primal instincts.

“H-how long—”

“Just started,” he cuts you off, lips pressed against your neck.

“Is it supposed to hurt this much?” You ask, voice frail.

You feel Chan nod behind you as he inhales breath-fulls of your scent.

“I think so,” he groans. He rubs around your breasts to help soothe your trembles. “Just relax, baby.”

“You first,” you joke.

Chan breathes a laugh, summoning a smile to your lips.

A comfortable silence settles over you. You want to turn to look at him, to press your forehead against his and stare into those dark, maroon eyes as he throbs and throbs and throbs against your sensitive walls. But even breathing sends sparks of lightning pain through your pelvis. All you can do is lean back into him as he licks and kisses your bite wound.

“It already looks so pretty,” he whispers between wet kisses.

You quietly moan before replying, “You didn’t let me get a good look at yours.”

“Yeah, well you edged me last night,” he argues, “and warmed my cock for nearly fifteen minutes just now.”

“You were being cryptic,” you chuckle, only to quietly hiss at another pang of pain.

Though he’s smiling against you, Chan attempts to soothe you. He kisses behind your ear, tightens his grip around your waist, and gently rubs his thumbs against your skin.

You allow his scent lull you into steady, full breathes, and distract you from the faint stimulation of his pulsating cock deep inside you. Eventually, the twisting pressure against your walls gradually relaxes. A relieved sigh escapes you as your shoulders slump.

Chan swallows thickly. He takes his time pulling himself out of you and guiding you back onto the bed.

You clutch onto the soft comforter, curling your knees into your chest. Your bones still tremble, muscles still stiff and worn. The bed shifts behind you. You hear a shuffle of the sheets before a blanket drapes over your shaking frame.

Chan wraps his arm around you, pulling himself closer. “I will love you for eternity,” he sighs, kissing the bite wound. Then, in a near whisper, he promises, “I’ll make sure everyone knows it.”

There is no room for doubt in his tone, words definitive.

You rest your hand over his. Chests raising and falling in tandem, you reply, “That’s all I ever wanted.”

— — —

It smells of coffee and brunt blueberry pancakes. You wrinkle your nose, eyes squinting open.

Bright sunlight peaks into the room. A light breeze blows through the curtains. Sitting up, you look around at the torn mattress and sheets beside you. Despite the state of the bed, however, the room is tidy with your clothes folded neatly on Chan’s desk chair. A little smile plays on your lips. It’s just like him to clean up after a rough night.

Heavy breathes, hasty touches and whispered confessions, last night resurfaces to the forefront of your mind. You drift between contentment and relief at the memories. Reaching back, you graze your fingers over the wound. The indents of his teeth are still prominent and slightly tender to the touch. There is an obvious dip where his fangs pierced through skin. A part of you thought it must have been a dream, so you brush your fingers over the bite again and again.

Still, it remains, faintly painful and heavy with promise.

You stand up, despite your stiff muscles and sore legs, to examine it through the mirror.

“I don’t want to discuss this anymore,�� you hear Chan sigh in the other room.

Rubbing your eyes, you reach over to the chair for your clothes. You open the bedroom door while putting on your hoodie, expecting to be greeted with light notions of your chaotic scents from last night. However, with every window in the apartment open, candles lit and the smell of breakfast on the stove, you can barely make out Chan’s scent alone.

“Whatever,” Chan mutters as you shuffle down the hallway.

His bare back greets you, standing over the stove. He hangs up his phone, tossing it aside as he tends to his over cooked pancakes.

Though you are sure you know, you still ask, “Who was that?”

Chan turns to face you, a sweet smile hovering over his lips once he takes in your dishevelled frame. “Not important,” he shrugs.

You chew on your lip, twirling the hem of your shirt, before asking, “How upset are they?”

He lets out a little sigh. Turning back to the stove, he flips the last of the blueberry pancakes onto their plate then switches the stove off. You watch his back flex with each tense movement as he tries to gather his thoughts. You know this is serious, but you can’t help getting lost in his muscles.

Then you notice it– the fanged wound on his bicep. Your knees buckle, breath hitches at the sight.

Chan snaps his attention back to you at the fraught sound, brows furrowed. It takes him a minute, but his eyes soon lock on the crook of your neck. A little knowing smile tugs on his lips. Exhaling deeply, he then confesses, “They’re furious,” he slides the finished plate on the kitchen island, “but I think it’s mostly because I avoided their calls yesterday.”

You’re not so sure that’s true.

You don’t know Chan’s parents very well, but remember running into his mother for the first time a couple of years ago. She was dropping off a box of his old swim medals, chatting with him and Changbin in the living room. You came over to borrow Changbin’s foam roller. Your muscles had been particularly stiff that weekend and he told you to come by and grab it when you had time. It took all over two minutes but felt so much longer. The moment you walked in, Chris stopped talking mid-sentence and stared at you.

“Oh, sorry,” you nervously chuckled. “I didn’t mean to interrupt.”

“What did I tell you about apologising?” Chan asked, voice strained but firm.

His mother blinked at him.

Changbin rolled his eyes. He, like that rest of your friends, has gotten used to Chan’s abruptness with you. If anything, that was Chan being polite.

“It’s in my room,” he said, nodding towards the hall. “Please don’t touch anything else.”

You hurried to grab the roller, the muted shuffles of your steps so loud against the silence of the living room. When you emerged from the hall again, Chan was already staring, as if he followed your frame to and from Changbin’s room.

His mother was less than pleased.

“They just need time to adjust,” Chan reassures, pulling you out of your thoughts.

“They never liked me,” you say with a slight shake of your head.

Chan sighs. “They suspected that I had a crush on you. My mom always thought I acted weird whenever you were around.”

You smirk. “You did act weird.”

“And you’re going to stand there, smelling like me, and tell me that you didn’t act weird around me too? Which one of us was caught sniffing laundry?”

Your face burns, blood rushing to your cheeks. The memory of Chan finding you in his room, gripping onto a hoodie from his dirty hamper that was drenched in his sweaty scent flashes before your eyes. You tried to explain it away by saying that there was a terrible smell around his apartment and you were just hunting it down. The truth was you were about a week away from being in heat and he just smelled so fucking delicious.

Your knees wobble under the fixation of his darkening gaze at the reminder. Practically diving for the stool, you take a seat in front of the island and stare at the plates of food to avoid his cocky gaze. Eggs, waffles, jams, cheeses, and three types of pancakes clutter on the counter.

Desperate to change the subject you ask, “Feeding an army?”

Chan, ever so merciful, lets it slide, tonguing his cheek. “Something like that,” he jokes, reaching for the coffee pot. “Bin, Lix, Minho,” he lists as he grabs your favourite mug, “I got like six missed calls from Jeongin asking to see us when my heat’s over.”

Only now, as you watch Chan pour the coffee and splash in some creamer, do you realise that you told your friends you’d be right back hours ago and never returned. True, your excuse was weak and maybe a part of you did want them suspecting something out of spite for the way Chan had been treating you. But, you did not want them knowing that you left to have sex with him across the hall.

“Do you think they know?” you ask as he sets the cup in front of you.

Chan scratches the back of his neck.

Shit, you think at the sight of his nervous look. “Please tell me they didn’t hear—”

You’re cut off by the front door opening. Jisung marches in with his chest puffed out and brows furrowed. He looks around as if inspecting the area before his gaze falls on the display of food. His eyes sparkle with intrigue, stern persona falling as he announces, “There’s breakfast!”

“Is everyone decent?” you hear Changbin ask.

Jisung seats himself beside you, already fixing himself a plate as he hums his confirmation.

Your friends spill in, attention consumed by the food. You get up from your spot to give them more space and linger beside Chan. He wraps his arm around your waist, pulling you into his side.

It takes a minute, but Minho is the first to notice, rolling his eyes. Seungmin catches the gesture and looks over at you. He suppresses a disgusted snarl, muttering, “You’re both sickening.”

You sip from your coffee to keep from laughing as Chan shifts his weight beside you. There’s no doubt in your mind, from the exasperated sigh that escapes his lips, he’s glaring at the pair of them.

Felix bounces his brows at Chan, much to his embarrassment and your amusement. Jeongin lets out a nervous chuckle and shakes his head, commenting something about how you’re both more dramatic than Hyunjin.

Jisung looks between you, takes another big bite of his eggs and mumbles, “I’m trying to eat.”

Hyunjin flickers his attention between the pancakes and waffles, completely oblivious to Chan’s gesture or your friends’ reactions.

Changbin sets his plate down. He stands before both of you with his arms crossed. “Which one of you ruined my bed?” He asks, glare bouncing between you.

You untangle yourself from Chan, burying your face in your cup as you walk towards Minho. Chan shifts his weight. He scratches the back of his head and lets out a little, uneasy chuckle. “So listen—” he starts, only for Changbin to cut him off, diving into a long lecture about respecting others' property and owing him the cost of a new bed.

“Why didn’t you tell me,” Minho whispers, pulling you away from Changbin’s theatrics.

You turn to find hints of betrayal swimming in his eyes.

“I didn’t like lying to you,” you reassure, “He just wasn’t ready.”

Minho nods. He averts his gaze to his plate before finding a place at the dining table by Hyunjin and Felix.

You furrow your brows, sensing his disappointment. He always makes sure you’re the first to know anything that happens in his life. Guilt festers in your chest. You make a mental note to talk to him about it later, you owe him that much at least.

“And if I catch you in my room again,” Changbin threatens. He points at you as well, tearing your attention away from Minho. “I will kill you.”

You roll your eyes. “Grow up, Binnie. It’s not like you were using it right.”

His face falls as your friends laugh. Clenching his jaw, he replies, “It’s my room.”

“Not that night, it wasn’t,” Jeongin jokes.

As laughter fills the apartment, you catch Chan’s gaze. There’s that look again— pure admiration and devotion.

Get over here.

You blink as his voice echoes in your mind like the chime of a fateful bell, ringing, howling.

note; please do not leave hate towards me or any other readers. please do not copy, repost, or translate any of my work.

#chantober 2024 #bang chan #bang chan werewolf #bang chan fanfics #bang chan smut #bang chan angst #stray kids fanfic #stray kids smut #stray kids angst

101 notes · View notes

mayrose713 · 2 months ago

Text

Beautifully Cruel World-Chapter 12

Series Masterlist | Previous | Next

ABO Non-Idol Stray Kids Universe Poly OT8 x Reader 18+ MDNI

Warnings in the Series Masterlist as well as any other information needed

Chapter 12

Y/n sits, bouncing her leg as she waits with the pack at the table for her brother.

“Kitten.” Minho places his hand on her bouncing leg, having chosen to sit next to her to make sure she ate during dinner and whispers. “What’s wrong?”

She looks up at him. “Just a bit anxious.”

“Did you take your meds today?” She nods a yes at his question causing him to sigh. “Everything will be okay, it’s just your brother. He wouldn’t tell the rest of your family about meeting up with you, right?”

“No, he wouldn’t.” She relaxes a little. “He doesn’t talk to them anymore but just makes me wary.”

“Everything will be okay.” The alpha reassures her. “We’re all here with you.”

“Y/n.” A tall beta walks up and her eyes brighten.

“Hyuk.” She stands up to hug him and he holds her tight against him for a moment before she lets go.

“It’s good to see you again.” He looks her over. “You’ve been okay?”

“Perfect.” She smiles before turning towards the table. “Everyone, this is my older brother Minhyuk.” She then starts pointing around the table. “Hyuk, this is our pack alpha Chan, our head alpha Changbin, the second oldest alpha Minho, and our youngest alpha Jeongin. Then our head beta Hyunjin, youngest beta Seungmin, and our two omega like betas Jisung and Felix.”

“It’s nice to meet you Minhyuk.” Chan stands to greet him.

“You too, thank you for taking care of my little sister.” The beta bows his head.

“Of course, after we had found her, all we’ve wanted to do was help.” Felix smiles watching as Y/n takes her seat back next to Minho and her brother takes the seat next to her. “Even before we knew she was our fated mate we knew we’d do anything for her.”

“I appreciate it. Not a lot of people would do that, especially for an omega.” He smiles down at his sister. “I’m just glad she’s finally free now.”

Minhyuk watches as Y/n looks over the menu with Minho. “You’ll like this.” The alpha points to something on the menu. “It’s similar to those noodles I made the other day you liked.”

She nods her head but looking at the picture she worries as it looks like a big serving and she knows she won’t be able to eat all of it.

“Do you wanna share Y/nnie?” Felix noticed her look of uncertainty, as he doesn’t like to eat much so he knew this was the best option for both of them. “It’s a lot of food and I know I won’t eat it all.”

She nods, grateful for his offer before she moves to stand up. “Gotta go to the restroom real quick.”

They all watch her walk away from the table, but Changbin watches until she disappears behind the door having a clear view of the bathrooms from where he sits and continues glancing over waiting for her to come out.

“She’s anxious.” Minhyuk points out after she was gone.

“Has she always dealt with anxiety?” Jisung asks, wanting to find out more about their new mate.

The beta nods sadly. “Yeah, it probably started when she was about eight. Was bullied at school which caused a lot of anxiety and insecurities. Our family didn’t help either.”

“We’re having her see a therapist and psychologist.” Changbin tells him. “They’ve already put her on medication for her anxiety and are thinking about antidepressants too.”

Her brother sighs in relief at this. “That’s good, I’ve been saying she needed help with it for years but our family would blow it off saying she has no reason to be anxious or depressed.”

Seungmin scoffs. “Because they didn’t want to realize they were the cause of it.” He meant for his comment to be more to himself but everyone else heard.

“So she’s told you guys a bit about how our family treated her?”

“Yeah.” Jeongin nods sadly.

“Before she comes back I want to warn you guys about some of her tendencies.” Minhyuk looks around to make sure they’re all listening, which they are. “I don’t know how much you guys have experienced yet but I want to explain in case you have so you can understand why and to warn you of things she tends to do.”

“She doesn’t like to voice her feelings. Will bottle them up instead of talk until she blows and has a breakdown. Our family used to make it seem like her feelings weren’t valid. If you notice she’s bottling stuff up just push her a bit, she’ll give in and talk. And at times she can also go nonverbal. Sometimes it’s just because she’s been very social all day that by the end of it she’s worn out and just doesn’t want to communicate anymore. But other times it can be because she’s in her head about things. It could be because something was said to cause her to overthink or just her brain being cruel to her.”

“I personally think the reason for it is because she would get purposely ignored as a kid if she’s been overly talkative and as punishments. So she feels she just needs to silence herself either to punish herself or because she thinks she’s being too much. Just be patient with her. She’ll still communicate when directly spoken too either through hand motions or by writing or texting someone. She’ll usually pick someone to be the main person to communicate to, have them read what she writes. When it was her friend group she always just picked whoever she felt the closest to that day.”

The younger four just look at Minhyuk, sad to hear that their omega feels she has to do things like that. The older four are pissed that she went through that, all of them wanting to change her mindset from here on out for the better.

Y/n walks back over, noting that Changbin watched her the entire time until she was settled back in her seat between her brother and Minho. She also notices how heavy the air is as they all look at her with different expressions between pity, sadness and protectiveness.

She turns to her brother. “What did you tell them?”

“Nothing they shouldn’t be aware of.”

The omega eyes her older brother before Hyunjin speaks up. “He just wanted to help us understand some stuff, nothing bad, princess.”

“Okay.” She sighs, trusting her brother and her pack.

⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾ ⋆⁺₊⋆

“Do you want a brownie baby?” Jisung asks, grabbing the container of Felix’s homemade brownies he made the day before.

“You barely even ate your dinner, Ji.” Minho remarks. “And you still need to pack for Jeju island. You don’t get dessert until after that.”

“Hyung.” Jisung pouts as the alpha takes the container from him. “It’s gonna take forever to pack, then it’ll be too late to eat one.”

“Go.” Minho shoos him off before getting two brownies out and giving them to the omegas sitting at the counter.

“Thanks Min.” Felix beams, taking a bite of his.

“Have you already packed, pretty girl?” Changbin leans on the counter next to Y/n.

“Yup, packed everything I thought I’d need.”

“Did you pack your swimsuit?” Felix asks, still chewing his brownie. “We plan to spend a day at the beach.”

She frowns. “I don’t have one.”

“You guys didn’t make sure she bought a swimsuit when you took her shopping?” Changbin looks at Hyunjin and Jeongin.

“We didn’t really think about that.” The youngest alpha shrugs. “We were more just thinking of normal everyday clothes she needed.”

“It’s fine.” Chan steps in reassuring everyone. “We’ll just get her a few at one of the shops on the island.”

“What time are we leaving in the morning?” Hyunjin asks while grabbing a drink from the fridge.

“I want to be out of the house by seven.” Minho finishes cleaning up a few things that were left out in the kitchen.

“That’s so early.” Hyunjin whines, grabbing himself a brownie and looks at Y/n confused as she still hasn’t eaten hers.

She’s playing with the paper towel it’s on as if trying to hide it from the eyes of the others and realized why. He quietly grabs a second brownie without anyone seeing before moving over to her, placing it on her first one, helping her hide it in the paper towel.

“Go.” He whispers in her ear and helps her slide off the chair hiding the brownies.

“I think I’m gonna call it early and head upstairs.” Y/n announces.

“Alright, goodnight baby girl.” Chan moves to her and kisses the top of her head.

Everyone else tells her goodnight as she heads upstairs and Hyunjin takes her seat at the counter to eat his brownie next to Felix who is smirking at him. “What?”

“Nothing.” The younger one shakes his head still smiling having seen the entire interaction between him and the omega.

Y/n walks upstairs going straight for Jisungs door and knocks.

“Yeah?”

She opens the door and peeks her head in “I brought you something.”

He smiles motioning for her to come in and she opens the paper towel handing him the top brownie.

“You are an Angel.” He hugs her before taking a bite of his delicious treat and drags her to sit on the floor with him as he packs his bag and she eats her dessert.

“Do you always procrastinate packing?” She watches him figure out a good way to fit everything in the suitcase.

“Not always.”

“Don’t lie to our girl, Ji.” Minho walks in as neither of them had shut the door. “I thought I told you no dessert until you're finished?” He then he looks at the omega. “And I thought you said you were going to bed?”

Y/n blushes at getting caught sneaking the beta dessert. “I’m sorry, I just knew he was wanting one.”

“Relax baby, he’s not actually mad.” Jisung places a hand on her thigh. “He’s just teasing.”

She looks up at the alpha and sure enough, he isn’t mad. But he is looking at her as if he feels guilty for making her think she was in trouble.

“Oh.” She whispers and looks away now embarrassed.

“I think it was very sweet of you to think of Jisung and bring him up a brownie and to eat with him.” Minho kneels in front of her.

She just nods her head, accepting his words but doesn’t say anything causing him to sigh.

“I came in originally to make sure Ji was finished and to drag him to sleep in my room as he doesn’t wake up on time if he’s alone.” He continues to explain as he watches the beta zip up his bag. “Why don’t you join us?”

“Wha…” Y/n looks at them wide eyed and shocked before she quickly starts shaking her head. “No, no, I-I couldn’t…”

“Kitten.” Minho interrupts her. “Don’t you ever try to finish that sentence. You are a part of this relationship as much as the rest of us. Meaning you’re allowed to sleep in any of our rooms with us. You don’t have to stick strictly to yours.”

“Okay.” She stands up. “Let me go change real quick then.”

“You don’t have to.” Jisung smirks. “It’s an unspoken rule that if you sleep in one of the alphas beds you sleep either naked or in their clothes.”

“Don’t listen to him.” Minho rolls his eyes. “It’s just something the betas do, you don’t have to follow it. We just want you to be comfortable.”

Y/n nods her head, biting her lip as she thinks it over causing Jisung to smirk even wider. “You wanna wear Min’s shirt, don’t you?”

She blushes not looking at either of them and whispers a maybe.

The alpha smiles with pride, gently grabbing her hand. “Come on baby.”

After grabbing Jisungs hand, the alpha takes both of them to his room, then let’s go to look in his closet. He first grabs one of the betas favorite shirts to sleep in, giving it to him to change into. Y/n turns away from Jisung to let him change, she’s sure he’s used to changing in front of Minho and wouldn’t care if she saw but she knew she would jump his bones like she’s been wanting to with all of them if she saw him undress.

“Which one do you want?” Minho brings her out of her thoughts, holding three shirts up in front of him.

She contemplates which one as she feels each, deciding on the softest and baggiest shirt of the three and he gives it to her.

“You can change in the corner Angel, we’ll turn away.” Jisung motions as he climbs into bed now wearing the alpha’s shirt and a pair of sweatpants which she assumes also belongs to Minho. “And you can put your clothes in Min’s hamper to get washed.”

“No peeking.” Y/n gives both of them a side eye before moving to the corner, looking back at them one last time to make sure they were turned away, which Jisung has already gotten comfortable in bed and is watching Minho in the closet who is grabbing his clothes and changing too.

She quickly changes into just Minho’s shirt and her underwear. The shirt falls about mid thigh, covering everything that needs to be. After placing her dirty clothes into the hamper she turns just as the older male is walking over to the bed in just sweatpants. The omega of course can't help but to ogle at his chiseled torso.

“You’re staring, kitten.” But to be fair, so is he, loving how his girl looks in just his shirt.

She looks up at his face blushing. “Umm… C-can I ask about the…”

“The scar?” The alpha traces the silver line. “It’s from a medical surgery when I was a baby. It grew as I did. Nothing to worry about now.”

“Are you two just going to eye fuck each other or are you going to finally come to bed?” Jisung whines, causing the two to laugh.

Minho slides in next to his beta and lifts the covers for Y/n to slide in too so that he has both of them curled up on either side of him. She watches Jisung lay his head on their alpha’s chest making her want to as well but is unsure about pushing any boundaries. Before she can chicken out though she’s getting pulled into his side by his strong arm so she’s resting her head on the other side of his chest from Jisung.

“You never have to worry about cuddling, kitten.”

Jisung looks at her, booping her nose. “Some of them, Min included, might not seem like the type to want to cuddle or have physical affection, but I promise you none of us will ever push you away if you initiate it.”

“Okay, thank you.”

“Go to sleep you two, we have an early morning.” Minho kisses both of their heads.

“Night hyung, night angel.”

“Night, Jisungie, night Min.”

“Goodnight, babies.”

______________________________________________________________

Let me know if you want to be added to the tag list for this series

Tag list: @pixie0627 @sinfulfic @estella-novella @mbioooo0000 @ms-flowergirl

@blindspot143 @ihrtlix @arishoriasims @fic-for-readers @motheraiya55

@hwangrfrnd @lxvxchxrlxttxbxrsx22-blog @juskz @borahae-reads @dreamerwasfound

@galaxy4489 @kayleefriedchicken @lostgirlinthewoodss @catkight @royal-shinigami

@notevenheretbh1 @passionandsuga @m00njinnie @sukss @n1nme4

@blueberrydish @xxeiraxx @ionlyeverwantedtobeyourequal @aalexyuuuhm @kaleigh-2002

227 notes · View notes

kiestrokes · 15 days ago

Text

Day 22: Jung Wooyoung | NSFW

▸ Idol: Jung Wooyoung of ATEEZ ▸ Rating: NSFW. Mature (18+) Minors DNI. ▸ Genre: active WIP, foreplay, sexual tension, feelings, slice of life. ▸ Vibe: this was the first ever fic idea that I had for ATEEZ back in 2023, I just was trying to find a plotline for it, aside from just a WooSan!threesome. College bestie Woo, hot neighbor San, eventual smut. Parts are loosely based on my funny irl experiences of my 20's. And I mean loosely, I didn't fuck any of my friends. ▸ Warnings: language, miscommunications, feelings of betrayal, bisexual struggles, soft angst and hurt feelings.

Sexually Explicit Content: sexual tension, consented kissing, over the clothes touch of the vagina, cuddling, idk there's nothing really here imo.

🗝️ Note: Has not beta-ed by me or anyone else. THIS IS A WIP! (it is being posted for my wipmas.) It is not complete; this is very much a rough outline/first run through. So I consulted my big three @chans-room @minisugakoobies @minttangerines for the special version of todays WIP-mas. Thank you kindly for putting up with me. Enjoy the king prawn meme edition of this 🤗 full text version at the end for those the photos won't load for!

Disclaimers: This is a work of fiction; I do not own any of the idols depicted below.

「 25 Hours: Hard, Soft and WIP-mas Masterlist 」

College friend Wooyoung. You’re in a coed dorm. You first meet Woo making out with another guy and just assume he’s gay.

The two of you go about your blooming friendship with no hiccups. He’s affectionate and cuddly with everyone so it never lingers in your mind to be more. Him sleeping over, cuddling, morning woods, dirty dancing, kisses.

Until you’re graduated and moved into an apartment together. You’re in the kitchen doing something. One of Wooyoungs causal partners compliments your butt and you’re surprised.

Wooyoung speaks up “right? She has a fantastic ass.”

“Since when do you look at my butt?”

“I’ve always looked at your butt.”

You shrug it off knowing how hyper sexual he is. Until you’re at a holiday party and see Wooyoung come out of the bathroom with a woman.

You’re confused.

One of your friends asks you why, you explain Wooyoung is gay.

“Well yes he’s bisexual.”

“What?” They laugh thinking you’re joking, “wait you didn’t know? I thought you two were” they hand motion.

You blink confused and text your college roommate. They confirm, informing your Wooyoung has given them several orgasms. The room spins and you excuse yourself. Leaving on your own.

Stumbling up your stairs since the elevator is broken. You slip on something and the new neighbor catches you.

Wooyoung comes running up then, greeting the neighbor and taking you into your apartment.

You blurt out “you’re not gay?”

Woo puts your shoes away and turns to you confused.

“Of course I am.”

He gets down on his knees to help you of out your tights like always. You stop him.

“No Woo you’re bisexual.”

He smiles at you, “yes silly.”

His smile slowly falls as you stare deadly at him. “Wait- you didn’t- how?”

He sits back, fingers braced on your calf for balance.

“Can we just go to sleep?”

You stand, after brushing his hand off. Wooyoung catches your wrist.

“Wait are you mad at me?”

You sigh, “no im just confused, we can talk about this tomorrow.”

His thumb traces circles over your pulse. “Ok.”

He leans in to give you his usual goodnight kiss and you pull away. The hurt written on his face. He lets you go to bed. The next morning he’s peaking in. You call him over and he wastes no time climbing in and cuddling you.

“I thought you knew.”

“It’s my fault for being so focused on my studies.”

“No!” You lay there listening to his heartbeat.

“Are you disappointed?”

“Why would I be disappointed?”

“Everyone loves a gay best friend. Bisexual is like the knock off verison.”

Woo looks sad, you sit up to look down at him.

“Bisexuals are definitely not the knock off gays. You can’t help what gender or non gender you’re attracted to.”

He reaches up to stroke your bottom lip, “you didn’t let me kiss you goodnight.”

You tug his hand down.

“It’s just a little different right now.”

Woo nods.

Things are kind of back to normal.

Both of you are crushing on the hot new neighbor. You haven’t let Woo kiss you goodnight. He’s sad but respects your boundary. Until it boils over one night and you two fight.

“I just miss kissing you goodnight.”

“You fucked my college roommate but never me, was I not good enough.”

Wooyoung gapes at you, hands tugging on his hair at the temples. Gets up. Paces and comes back.

“You were beyond good enough. So good I didn’t want to risk losing the friendship we were growing.”

You stare at him and then he scoots forward to take your hands in his.

“I never fucked you because you’re so much more than a causal lay to me.”

You nod. You let him kiss you goodnight that night, it’s like everything snaps. There’s a gasp and then Wooyoung has you pressed into the wall, more than a goodnight kissing you. You cling to him and his hand trails down your body. Heel of his hand pressing into your clothed cunt.

“Ahh Wooyoung” you gasp into the side of his neck.

And he backs off. Bracing a hand on the wall next to you.

“Sorry sorry. I’ve just been so worked up about our relationship that I haven’t gotten laid.”

He kisses your cheek and heads to bed without another word.

53 notes · View notes

jisungsdaydreamer · 1 year ago

Text

Love Playlist #3: Make It Right (Lee Know)

«GENERAL M.LIST» · «NAVIGATION» · «TALK TO ME»

"It hurts to love you."

Pairing: Lee Know x Fem!reader Genre: college au, angst, exes to lovers Warnings: swearing, messy break-up, mc has a fear of the dark, mild haunted house/Halloween descriptions Word Count: 18.3k

*Written for @skzwritingcafe's July/August event: Summertime Confessions ☀️

Special thanks to @baekhyyun & @simpforyongbokk for beta-reading!! 💘

“I love you.”

You roll your eyes and shove Minho away, trying to suppress the giggles that threaten to spill out. “Stop that. We need to concentrate, or we’ll never find an apartment.”

“I’m definitely concentrating.” Minho grins mischievously. “On you.”

Laughing at his antics, you shake your head, shutting your computer for a brief intermission to tend to Minho’s insatiable appetite for your attention. Your boyfriend never fails to make you smile, no matter what.

“I love you too, you menace.”

Minho wakes up with a start. He groggily glances over at the clock hanging on the wall in front of him. Nearly 3 a.m. Slinging his legs over the side of the couch, Minho just sits in that position for a good twenty minutes, marinating in the pitiful mixture of his sweat and tears.

The night before, he’d attempted to drown away his sorrows at some bar he stumbled upon while aimlessly wandering the city streets. It hadn’t worked, obviously, because his wallet wasn’t bottomless, and the pain was too great. But in true character, Minho had tried anyway, until his savior found him slumped over the counter and led him back to a safe place to sober up.

“Stay here as long as you need to,” Chan had said, tucking Minho’s drowsy form into a bundle of blankets on the couch, like he was a little kid.

Minho had tried to resist, mumbling complaints towards his friend’s retreating back, but fell into a troubled slumber before Chan even reached his own bedroom. Now he’s wide awake and unwilling to be so, praying he can just fall back asleep and forget about everything that had transpired in the previous twenty-four hours. But even sleep can’t save him from the memories of what you both once were: happy.

It’s not like he didn’t notice the rift growing between you two in the past few weeks. You didn’t have as much time for each other anymore, reducing your interactions to quick dinners and text messages. But you both have been together for nearly three years, and Minho had assumed that it was just the stress of senior year taking a toll on you both, nothing more. You both had been browsing apartments together just one month ago, finally planning to take the next big step in your relationship. He loves you more than anything in the world, and he so believed that you felt the same about him.

So when you sat him down yesterday at your favorite café, Morningstar Coffee House, and told him that you had doubts about your future together, he was shocked. Too fearful of what you were going to say next, Minho decided to take an abrupt exit out of the conversation, rushing out of the door by using class as an excuse. And now, he will be forced to confront a brutal reality, wishing he could have just gotten this over with yesterday.

A small chime alerts Minho to a new text message, and before he even reaches over to the coffee table to pick up his phone, he knows it’s you.

bobaluvrr: we need to finish talking catservant98: do we really need to? bobaluvrr: morningstar at 8. i have class, pls don’t be late.

With an exasperated groan, Minho stands up, tossing his phone onto the couch. At the very least, he could use the coffee.

“Don’t you think you’re being a little extreme?” Soyeon scrapes the bottom of the pint of ice cream in her hands, frowning when her spoon doesn’t recover as much as she’d like.

“Maybe,” Sunoo answers for you from where he’s sprawled out on the floor, lying on his stomach while scrolling through his cellphone. Soyeon chucks a pillow at him, making him yelp and lift his hands up in defeat.

“This is for the best, Soyeon,” you reply firmly, stabbing your spoon into your own pint of rocky road and digging out a generous chunk. As you lick the spoon, you note that you barely notice the creamy goodness that always succeeds in cheering you up. Not today.

Sunoo sits up and sets his phone aside. “Literally last month, you said you wanted to marry Minho as soon as you graduated.”

You swallow harshly, remembering the exact moment Sunoo is referencing. It’s true that you wanted to marry your boyfriend— no, you still want to marry him, even now. But you meant what you said; breaking up with Minho is necessary to prevent any more heartache. You’ve been feeling this indescribable longing seeping into your heart for weeks now, silently pressing through all of your warning bells. It was a whisper in the wind beneath your lofty wings, telling you that one day, Minho was going to leave you. The last few days had been the final straw, forcing you to grasp your courage and do what had to be done.

“I know.” You hold your tears back. “But the situation has obviously changed.”

Soyeon takes your hand in her own, softly rubbing your palm with her thumb to comfort you, while Sunoo just rolls his eyes. “I still blame that bitch Minju. It’s her fault you’re feeling like this, if anyone’s.”

At the mention of Minju, your expression hardens. After all, you don’t exactly have warm regards for a backstabber like her, especially when she had pretended to be your friend just to get close to Minho. When you found out about her ulterior motive, it made the betrayal hurt ten times worse.

You had befriended Minju nearing the end of the previous year, after she sat next to you at lunch when you were alone in the dining hall. All along your short-lived friendship, you had noticed that she would only ask you questions about Minho or your relationship with him, but you brushed it off as an attempt to just get along with your boyfriend. You had no idea that she wanted to do more than that.

At the beginning of the next semester, Minho mentioned that he had one class with Minju. Ever the optimist, you were pleasantly surprised, thinking that Minju could become friends with Minho as well. After all, it always took Minho forever to really bond with new people, and this would make everything easier. But the little things you kept overlooking built upon each other, forming a whole dam of distrust.

First, there were all of the times you hung out with both Minju and Minho. While Minho always engaged in conversation with the both of you, if not more with you, Minju would actively ignore you just to talk to Minho. Once, you three visited an arcade together, and there was a game that involved picking teams. Minju immediately declared that she would partner up with Minho, so you had no option but to team with a stranger. But maybe she just wanted to get to know him.

And then you ran into Heeseung, one of Minju’s old classmates. Heeseung had no malicious intentions; he used to have photography class with Minju before she switched out, and needed Minju’s number to ask her for the pen he had lent her. It looked like Minju had changed her course schedule to share a class with Minho. But maybe that was just a coincidence.

The final piece that made you put together Minju’s puzzle was when Minho was dropping you after a date one night. He had kissed you goodbye, and you went inside, wondering if you should invite Minju over to watch some movies. You called Minju and asked her if she wanted to come over, but she claimed that she was very sick and couldn’t even leave her house, down with a high fever in her bed. Feeling sorry for your friend, you decided to whip up a quick batch of soup for Minju and walk over to her loft. However, you saw two people standing right outside the building. Upon closer look, you realized it was Minju and Minho, talking about something you couldn’t hear. But the sight itself was enough— Minju looked perfectly healthy and fresh. You could give the benefit of doubt to your boyfriend, but Minju had obviously lied to you. You ran away before either of them spotted you.

You shake your head, knowing in your heart that even someone like Minju couldn’t really end one of the most important relationships in your life. “It’s not just her. I’m tired of watching every other couple on campus, wishing Minho and I were like that. Everyone calls us perfect, but really, we’re not. I’m tired of pretending. I’m tired of feeling like I’m the only one who cares. I’m just tired of everything, Sunoo.”

And it’s true. You’ve had enough of wondering about whether you love him too much, if you were being naive about everything. You have always been a very bubbly, social person, wearing your heart on your sleeve. You know that Minho is more of an introvert, and that it’s hard for him to express himself to others. However, you believed that with time, he would open up, at least to you. You found it as easy to confide your fears within Minho as it was to laugh when he tickled you. But communicating with Minho about his own feelings remained a difficulty. He still seems like such a mystery to you, and even if he wasn’t entertaining Minju’s whole plot, you feel like he isn’t as interested in you as you are in him. You hadn’t even bothered telling Minho the truth about Minju, because in the end, you doubt Minju would have troubled you so much if your relationship really was so unbreakable.

Sunoo’s face softens, as he gets up to envelope you in one of his hugs. “I’m sorry if I came off too strong. I just want the best for you.”

Soyeon joins your little huddle, wrapping her arms around the both of you. “You are our best friend, after all. We can’t have our favorite girl being sad.”

A tiny flicker of hope ignites in your stomach. Whatever happens, you know you’ll have Soyeon and Sunoo by your side. You tell yourself over and over again that you don’t need anyone else but them, until you start to believe it.

It hurts Minho’s heart to see that you look more beautiful than ever as you step into Morningstar, even with your downturned lips and the reddened sheen of your sleepless eyes. He busies himself with the menu as you approach the table he’s sitting at, as if he wasn’t just watching you a moment earlier.

“Thank you for seeing me.” Your words feel oddly formal, especially taking into account your usual greeting for Minho was an excited hug and an avalanche of kisses.

Minho shrugs, trying to seem nonchalant and not as scared as he really is. “Yeah, of course.”

You scoot your chair closer to the table, clearing your throat. “Did you sleep okay last night?”

Unable to help himself, Minho rolls his eyes. “How do you think I slept, Y/N?”

You immediately flush, realizing how obvious the answer must be. “I was just—”

“Checking on me,” Minho interrupts you, sounding more wounded than angry. “Right after you tell me that you think maybe we shouldn’t move-in together and that you aren’t feeling the same about us.”

You reach across the table to take Minho’s hands in yours. He can’t bring himself to wrench them free from your hold. “I’m sorry if I hurt you.”

“You did.”

“That wasn’t my intention. I just…” You trail off, gazing out the window. The campus is alive with the buzz of students waking up and going on about their days. It’s a gorgeous day for October, with bright sunshine and a cloudless sky— Minho hates it.

He looks away, not wanting to showcase how truly vulnerable he feels right now. “Why? Why this all of a sudden? Did I do something wrong?”

You start. “No!”

“Are you still upset about yesterday? I know everything is stressful right now, but I promise—”

You take a deep breath. “I can no longer trust you. I don't know if I’ll always be the only one. But it’s not you, it’s me.”

“Of course you’re my only one, what are you talking about?” Minho shakes his head, the desperation creeping in. “No. I promise I’ll try. I’ll be better. Whatever it is, we’ll get through this together.”

You slam your palms down on the table, making it shake. It shocks both you and Minho into a moment of charged silence. “We’ll only grow to hate each other at this rate. I need to end things with you now.”

“Y/N, please. I- I don’t want to break-up.”

You flash Minho a broken smile. “I don’t want it either. But I need to do this, for both our sakes.”

You stand up from your chair, and Minho finally breaks. Minho, who didn’t cry even when he fell into a ravine while hiking and broke his arm. Minho, who didn’t cry even when he was cut from the line-up for his dream internship in New York City. Minho, who never cries, sits in front of you now, the tears streaming down his cheeks and dripping onto his sweatshirt.

“Don’t go, please.” He makes one last attempt at getting you to stay, grabbing onto the arm of your jacket.

You gently shake him free, taking your purse. You’re crying now too. “Don’t make this harder than it has to be, Min.”

Minho lets his arm fall limply to his side as he hopelessly watches you leave as quickly as you came. He always hated saying goodbye after every time you went out, but the thought of being able to see you the next day helped a little bit. Now, there wasn’t even that.

“One… two… three.”

Minho grunts in effort, sweat slowly dripping down his neck at the arduous pace of each repetition.

“Keep going, Minho. You’re almost there,” Changbin says, leaning over Minho and supporting him on the bench press.

Minho barely hears him, flexing his biceps up and down, exhausted, yet determined to finish a set. He’s done nothing at all for the past few days, strangled with the inevitable grief of being broken up with. Minho sullenly welcomed trudging back and forth to classes. He went to bed early and slept in for as long as possible, and barely ate anything during the meals Chan forced him to have.

However, Chan finally became fed up with Minho’s mopiness, employing Changbin to drag him out to the gym and make him work out his feelings. And so, as he struggles under the backbreaking weight of the barbell, he yearns to feel a sense of accomplishment about something— anything.

“Ten! You’re done.” Changbin gently places a hand on Minho’s arm, willing him to stop, but Minho keeps going without toning down his pace.

Minho feels the excruciating ache burning in his muscles, the slow agony of pain rippling through him. Is this how you feel? Is this how much it hurts to love him? If so, he wants to live it over and over again, atoning for the reason you left him. He blames himself for letting you go, of course, but mostly for making you feel like you had to leave in the first place. He should have been a better man for you.

“Minho, stop!” Changbin lifts up the weight in his own hands, racking it and staring down accusingly at his charge. “Are you crazy? You could have hurt yourself.”

“You lift more than that, and you’re fine. Give me that.” Minho reaches for the barbell once more, but Changbin places it on an even higher hook, forcing Minho to get off the bench.

“I’ve been doing this for years. You started after your girlfriend dumped you, four days ago.”

Minho rolls his eyes, picking up his towel and dabbing at his dampened skin. “Thanks for the reminder.”

“You were already thinking about her anyway.” Changbin pats Minho’s shoulder, grabbing his bottle of green juice and walking over to the rowing machine to start his own workout.

Without further protest, Minho retreats to the locker rooms, wondering if he’s being that obvious. Minho gazes into the clouded mirror, inspecting himself for any signs of sadness, but all he receives is an eyeful of his general look, a guarded expression that reserves smiles only for those who deserve it. Weird. Maybe Changbin is just telepathic.

Minho shoves his belongings into his gym bag and heads out of the gym, back to nowhere else but Chan’s apartment, his temporary home until he finds a better place to stay. After all, he thought you both would be moving in together, but plans change.

As Minho makes his way down the sidewalk that leads to the university off-campus housing complex, someone throws a soccer ball into his path. Great.

“Hey, can you pass that over here?”

Clenching his jaw in annoyance, Minho kicks at the ball as hard as he can, not caring about where it lands. He ignores the person’s confused shouts and keeps walking until he reaches his destination, not acknowledging any of the strangers he passed by. What does it matter, anyway?

“Gym go well?” Chan looks up from the cutting board, setting down his knife and wiping his hands on a dishrag.

Minho sighs, neatly fixing his bag next to his current post, the sofa. “It was fine. I’ll go clean up and be right back.”

“Hurry! Dinner’s almost ready,” Chan calls as Minho heads inside the bathroom, locking the door and cranking on the shower.

Minho feels his body relax as he steps under the steady stream of water, but his mind remains tense. He’d gone to the gym with Changbin today because he thought he’d be able to get some peace of mind and forget about everything, but evidently, that hadn’t worked. All he can think about is you, you, you. He’ll deny it to his friends for as long as he can, but he isn’t sure how long he can keep lying to himself.

As he finishes, Minho steps out of the steamy bathroom and into the bedroom, drying off and quickly changing into his clothes. He walks into the dining area, where Chan has set up two bowls and is ladling pasta into each of them. When he was younger, Minho’s mother used to tell them that a good meal could ease a troubled heart. For her sake and Chan’s, he decides to eat well today, just for living.

Enveloped in a comfortable silence, Minho and Chan dig in, enjoying the spicy, cheesy penne that serves as an instant comfort food.

“Thanks, Chan,” Minho says, looking up from his bowl.

Chan swallows his bite and pauses, placing down his fork. “For what?”

Minho shrugs awkwardly, trying to find the right words. By now, he knows he’s no good at speaking his heart. “For being there for me. For feeding me. Everything, I guess.”

“And for making Changbin haul your ass to the gym.” Chan grins at Minho, nothing but warmth in his kind eyes. “What are friends for, brother?”

Even though he feels kind of crappy, Minho smiles. “Yeah, man.”

Chan reaches over and smacks Minho’s back, laughing the sentiment off. But deep inside, Minho knows that Chan understands him. Whatever happens, his brother will be by his side. He tells that to himself over and over again, through dinner and the TV show that Chan turns on, until he starts to believe it.

The next morning, Minho wakes up after finally getting a good night’s sleep. The much needed rest spurs him on to message you, something he’s been putting off for a while now.

catservant98: did you wake up? catservant98: how are you doing? catservant98: ??

You don’t reply to any of his texts. Minho knows that you’re not much of a morning person, but you would never miss class, so you have to be up. Every Thursday and Friday, both of you have Writing Seminar together, a course that is mandatory for every senior student at the university you both attend. When he first received his schedule, he had been elated that he shared a class with his girlfriend. Well now you are his ex-girlfriend, and he doesn’t know that being in the same room and unable to speak with you is a great option.

Nevertheless, Minho tucks his phone into his pocket, opening the door to the lecture hall. The moment he enters, his eyes find yours. You’re sitting in your favorite spot in the middle of the fifth row, but the seat next to you that Minho usually takes is already occupied by some other girl who’s busy reading a book. You didn’t bother saving him a seat, for the very first time.

You tear your eyes away from Minho’s piercing gaze, looking at the grassy lawn beyond the window behind you, leaving Minho to find a new seat. He sets his backpack down in the very back row, where no one else is, and sits alone, a sad new reality setting in. Thankfully, the professor enters and starts talking about some upcoming project, leaving Minho ample leeway to observe you.

Your head is tilted down and you're focused on the open notebook in front of you. Although he can’t see your hand properly, he knows it’s moving as you sketch a little doodle onto the paper. It’s a habit that he always found enormously endearing, and as you tuck your hair behind your ear, Minho feels another pang in his chest. He will never be able to brush back your hair for you, ever again.

The moment class is over, Minho quits pretending he’s actually paying attention and hurries over to you before you can leave. You’re midway through stuffing your books bag in your bag when you notice Minho hovering over you. With a resigned sigh, you look up at him expectantly.

“I- I just wanted to check on you,” Minho says quietly, looking down at his hands like he’s a kid again, guilty of stealing a candy instead of impinging on your time. “And see how you’re doing.”

“I’ve been better.” You look away and stand up, gesturing towards the door. “I should go. Soyeon’s probably waiting.”

“Okay then.” Minho steps aside, letting you pass. You both had a lot of mutual friends; surely every interaction between you both will not be this awkward, right?

Before you leave, however, you turn and look at him. “Let’s try to be civil and move on, okay? We’ll still be seeing each other a lot, so.”

Minho just stares at you, for a moment, before remembering himself. “Yeah, okay. Let’s try.”

You curtly nod and walk out the door. Minho isn’t so sure that moving on is what he wants. Of course he wants to get along with you, because having you in his life and not being romantically involved is better than not being involved with you at all. But he wishes the world— time, you, and even himself— would understand that moving on meant this loss in his life. Shaking his head, Minho heads out of the classroom and towards a hopefully better day.

“Are you sure this isn’t a bad idea?” You worriedly scan the increasing mass of partygoers. Usually, you love a good party; spending time with friends and making new ones is one of your favorite things to do. Tonight, however, you can’t help the bad feeling building inside of you.

Sunoo loops your arm through yours, leading the way for you through the swanky flat, searching for a place to sit. “No, it isn’t. You deserve to have some fun.”

“What if I see Minho?” You ask him, but you already know the answer. Of course Minho is coming to Jihyo’s birthday party; unfortunately, both of you were in the same large friend group, an aspect of your relationship that you used to cherish. Now, not so much.

He looks over at you, a challenge in his eyes. “And so what if you do? You told him you wanted to be civil. So be civil.”

“Right.”

You both find a place by the food tables, where boxes of pizza have already been opened to entice guests and bottles of beer chill in the cooler. After congratulating Jihyo and helping yourself to a few slices, you sit down on the couch next to Sunoo, trying to enjoy your dinner. After boba, pizza is your most favorite food on the whole planet, but even that can’t seem to soothe your nerves. You wish Soyeon were here too, but she’s stuck studying for an exam.

Noticing your restlessness, Sunoo whistles to a few people mingling nearby. “Hey, who wants to play Truth or Dare!”

Although outdated, Truth or Dare is a certified party hit for stressed college students like you all, especially if there’s alcohol involved. You’re just thankful for the distraction. Everyone quickly huddles around, buzzing in anticipation of either a comedy show or secrets being revealed.

“I’ll go first.” Chan says, stepping forward. If he’s here, so must be Minho. “Truth.”

Sunoo rubs his hands together in thought before piping up. “What’s your beef with your Student Council co-president?”

Chan immediately tenses, his cheeks turning red. “Shit. I’ll drink on that.”

Everyone whoops with laughter and cheers as Chan downs his beer, setting the cup down with a sour expression on his face due to the bitterness of the drink. He must really hate his co-president. The game continues, before you’re the only person playing who hasn’t gone yet. Unfortunately, your questioner is Mark Lee, a junior that’s notorious for his nosiness. You brace yourself for whatever invasive question he’ll come up with, but you aren’t as quite prepared as you think.

“Why did you and Y/N break up?”

“Huh?” You follow Mark’s gaze to see him looking at Minho, who joined the game without you realizing. The question was meant for him, not you.

Minho says nothing, giving Mark the opportunity to keep talking. “I mean, weren’t you guys the golden couple of campus or something?”

Everyone quiets down, zeroing in on you and Minho for all of the wrong reasons. Minho’s eyes dart over to where you sit, shifting uncomfortably in your seat. You feel your skin prickle and your body heat up, the stress clouding your senses once more.

“This is stupid. Game’s over,” Minho declares while getting up, and everyone disperses, not willing to argue with him.

You stare down at your lap as Sunoo places an arm over your shoulders, pulling you close to him. “I’m so sorry, Y/N. I had no idea Mark would ask that. What an asshole.”

“I’m fine.” You stand up, brushing off your skirt. “I’m going to go get a drink.”

“I’ll come with you,” Sunoo offers.

You shake your head. “No, it’s okay. I’ll come back.”

After getting some water, you wind through the impromptu dance floor that has now taken over the living space, everyone jamming to the raging music that thumps through the loud bass speakers that Jihyo had installed into her flat. You dodge a couple grinding up against each other and a pair of best friends swinging to the beat. Before you head back to Sunoo, you’re about to find temporary reprieve out on the balcony, but like a cruel universal joke, you see exactly what you fear most.

Minho leans against the railing, the evening breeze ruffling the chestnut hair that frames his handsome face. And next to him stands Minju, twirling her hair around her fingers while listening to what Minho is murmuring to her. Yours and Minju’s eyes meet, and she gives you the faintest hint of a satisfied smirk. Your heart drops and your feet want to give out right then and there, but you would rather die than fall apart in front of both of them. You turn on your heel and blindly march to wherever will rid you of the sight of the person you love the most speaking to the person you hate the most.

That destination turns out to be the kitchen, as you march in and huff out loud as your body hits the kitchen island. There’s no one else there except for one other person with his upper body hidden by the refrigerator, obviously raiding it. At the sound of someone else entering, he shuts the fridge door and looks over at you. Taking in his faded pink hair and beat-up converse sneakers, you vaguely recognize him from somewhere.

“I was just looking for some carrot juice, that’s all.” The guy shoots you a sheepish smile. “I don’t do booze past 9 p.m.”

“Carrot juice? Don’t tell me you’re a fitness freak.”

He raises his hands in faux surrender. “Guilty. But outside of the gym, I’m Kang Taehyun. Or Terry, if we’re acquainted, and hopefully you and I will be by the end of the night. So call me Terry.”

You’re intrigued by this carrot-loving stranger. “I’m—”

“Y/N, I know. We have Writing Seminar together.” Terry smiles as the recognition hits you.

You slap your palm against your forehead, wondering how you could have missed him. “I’m so sorry. I guess I was always too distracted in that class.”

He waves your apology off with a twist of his wrist. “No worries. Besides, you’re a lot more memorable than me.”

You feel your cheeks heat up. “Thank you.”

In the brief silence that follows, you gaze up at the pattern of the tiling on the countertops, toying with the hem of your skirt. Once again, your thoughts flit over to Minho, wondering if he’s still talking to Minju. Terry notices you spacing out and speaks up. “Hey, are you okay?”

You look up at him like a deer caught in headlights. Suddenly, everything feels like too much, and you’re overwhelmed with your own emotions. You feel yourself tear up, and you’re immediately mortified for breaking down in front of someone you just met.

Unfazed, Terry crosses over to you in three quick strides and gently touches your arm, concerned. “Hey, you don’t have to say anything if you don’t want to. I didn’t mean to intrude.”

You swipe at your eyes, trying to collect yourself. “No, it’s not you. I broke up with my boyfriend recently. And it’s been… bad. God, this is embarrassing.”

Terry dips his head in understanding. “I noticed you weren’t sitting next to him as usual in class earlier today. Minho— that's him, right?”

You let out a mirthless chuckle. “Yeah.”

“Well…” Terry trails off, and you fear you’ve ruined the mood with your depressive recollection, but he smiles at you. “I’ll tell you something embarrassing about me. I have a fear of mint chocolate chip ice cream.”

A giggle escapes your mouth at the absurdity of his confession. “What?”

Terry nods solemnly. “Yes. Technically, I have a fear of visiting the dentist, but mint choco is close enough to the taste of toothpaste to give me the chills.”

You grin at Terry, the down atmosphere slowly fading away. “What do you like, then?”

“Water slides. Pleasure reading. And caramel popcorn with extra caramel.” Terry flexes his bicep. “Even a fitness freak needs his sugar fix.”

You roll your eyes in good humor. “You’re really something, aren’t you, Kang Taehyun?”

“I’m hoping that’s a compliment.” Terry runs his hand through his bubblegum hair, carelessly mussing it up. You find the messiness of his bangs absolutely adorable.

“It is.” You tap your nails against your cup, trying to think of something to say next. Generally, you have no difficulty in keeping a conversation going, but Terry seems to be content with that role in this one.

“Are you an Apple or Android kind of person?” Terry inquires.

You take a sip of your water, raising your eyebrow at him. “Where did that come from?”

“I was trying to think of a good way to ask you for your number.” Terry shrugs, that playful smile that you’ve now become familiar with coming back.

You return it. “You just did.”

Both of you exchange cell phones and type in each other’s contact information. When finished, Terry slides your phone back into your palm, and you don’t miss the light touch of his fingers against your own.

“I have to go find my friend now, Terry. But I’m glad I met you. Don’t forget to spam me with more weird facts about yourself.”

Terry laughs. “I won’t. Like I said, Y/N, you’re not easily forgettable.”

You hide your smile and leave the kitchen, lost in your own world, even as you run straight into Sunoo, who asks you what took you so long. When you finally get back to the warmth of your own room after the party, you sit down to get some homework done before bed. You notice your favorite keychain, a little cat charm, hanging off your ID card lanyard that’s strewn across your desk. Minho gifted it to you last year, stating that you needed something to remind you of him when he wasn’t there. After a moment’s hesitation, you unclip the charm from the lanyard and tuck it away inside your desk. You don’t need the reminder right now.

terrypotter: hey, good morning!! this is terry from yday btw bobaluvrr: hii! bobaluvrr: omg ur user <3 i love harry potter too! terrypotter: this friendship was meant to be.

You throw off your covers, hopping out of bed. Last night was proof that things could start out horrible and end well. You meant what you said to Terry; you’re happy you were able to meet someone like him. Even though you both only hung out for a few minutes, talking to him felt relaxing and uncomplicated, less of a puzzle and more like a game, unlike how it felt with Minho. You were tired of always guessing Minho’s thoughts, and so Terry’s habit of speaking his mind feels incredibly refreshing.

terrypotter: here’s a thought- coffee @ morningstar? terrypotter: they make a mean breakfast bagel too, if ur up for it

You frown down at your phone, the lighthearted feeling fading into uncertainty. You are glad that Terry named this new acquaintance as a friendship, but still, he’s a boy— and a good looking one at that, too. You aren’t sure if getting coffee entails something potentially romantic down the lane, and if it does, it feels wrong, especially so soon after Minho. You definitely haven’t moved on, yet. After all, you once believed that Minho would be the man you would marry one day, and a tiny part of you still dreams of what could be.

bobaluvrr: i can’t :( promised my roommates breakfast terrypotter: aw that’s too bad

After a moment of thought, however, you text him again.

bobaluvrr: but i’ll save you a seat in class today! terrypotter: see u then :)

Strangely buzzed, you make your bed and get ready for the day, trying not to think of the fact that Minho is also in Writing Seminar with you and Terry. You don’t want him to give him the wrong idea, but then again, you both weren’t together anymore, so what does it matter?

After showering and getting dressed, you stand in the kitchen so that the excuse you gave Terry won’t be a lie, scrambling a few eggs in the frying pan that Minho bought you last year. As the designated chef in your relationship, Minho used to cook for you all the time, whenever you came over to the apartment he shared with Chan and Jisung. Whenever he visited you, however, he complained that there weren’t enough proper cooking supplies for him to create a “proper culinary experience” for you, so he insisted on buying you some.

When you nearly fainted, looking at the receipts for everything he bought you, he promised that you could make it up to him by bringing everything with you when you moved in with him. That’s how he very smoothly asked you to move in with him, and you accepted by attacking him with kisses. You both planned to find an apartment as soon as possible, since Jisung wanted to move-in with his best friend, and Chan was looking for his own place. The reminiscing smile on your face fades away when you remember that everyone’s plans came to fruition except for yours and Minho’s.

You don’t know if it’s the universe looping Minho into your life again and again, or if your treacherous heart just misses him so much that you can’t help but subconsciously cling to every last remnant you have of him. The sensible side of you knows it’s the latter scenario.

“I smell food.” Sunoo ambles out of his room, looking like a lovable yet scruffy teddy bear.

He tries to sneak a piece of fried egg from the pan, but you quickly push his hands away, wrinkling your nose. “Go brush your teeth first. I’m going to throw up.”

Sunoo rolls his eyes sleepily, but obeys, before Soyeon also comes out of her bedroom. Unlike Sunoo, however, she’s all dressed and ready for business, clad in her uniform of baggy jeans and a badass leather jacket that you adore. Soyeon pulls out three glasses and starts juicing a couple oranges to complete your meal, as you start plating the food.

“Thank you, my angel,” Soyeon blows you a kiss as you set the eggs and some slices of buttered toast on the table. You wink back at her as you both take your seats and Sunoo comes out to join you, still wearing his pajamas.

“And you, lazy ass? Wake up earlier so you can help out more. You never do anything.” Soyeon smacks Sunoo’s arm, hard, eliciting a cry out of him.

“Hey! I take on the emotional support role in this house,” Sunoo replies, aggressively biting into his toast.

“This is an apartment.”

Your two roommates trade their usual insults back and forth as you tune them out, picking at your own plate. Maybe it had been a bad idea, asking Terry to sit next to you. And it wasn’t even about how you could already envision your ex-boyfriend’s beautiful eyes full of betrayal, but more of how you’re coming off to Terry. What if he got the wrong idea, that you both were heading into something more than a friendship?

When you’ve escaped Sunoo and Soyeon’s bickering, you plug in your earbuds and walk to the lecture hall. The sound of your morning mix fills your ears as you enter your own world. While you cherish the people in your life more than anything, you treasure the times when you can slow down and just appreciate the fact that you’re alive and healthy. Gratitude isn’t something you feel a lot, especially taking into account recent happenings, but maybe you’ll start now. A new friend is always something to be thankful for—

You hear someone calling out and immediately pull out your headphones to see Terry next to you.

“Hey, Y/N!” Terry falls into a synchronized step with you. “Did I interrupt any deep contemplation? The look on your face was pretty intense.”

You shake your head, accepting the coffee that Terry hands to you. “Thank you. And no, you didn’t. It’s nice to see you again, Terry.”

Terry smiles, sipping from his own cup. “Likewise. Ready for class?”

You’re about to naturally give him an affirmative answer, before you halt, remembering yet another moment with Minho.

“Who the hell is he?” Minho glowers threateningly at the guy next to you, pulling the sleeves of his button-down up to his elbows. The man quickly rushes out of the bar and into the rain, without even bothering to open the umbrella in his hands.

You sigh loudly while Minho sits down on the stool the man was just perched on. “Was that necessary, Min? Poor guy just wanted to ask me about the book I’m reading.”

“That’s the pretense that all guys put up when they’re trying to hit on a girl.” Minho slides his arm around your shoulders, and despite your mild annoyance, you melt into his touch. He smells like a mix of cologne, rain, and fresh cotton sheets.

You look up at Minho through your eyelashes. “Is that what you did when you asked me out?”

Minho smiles lovingly at you. “I didn’t have to. You were down bad for me already.”

You shove him away in mock offense. “You were the down bad one! I remember your whole cheesy speech.”

“I don’t recall anything like that.” The smirk on Minho’s face fades in favor of a deep blush.

Laughing, you press a kiss to your boyfriend’s lips, and he quickly reciprocates. The truth is, you both were impossibly down bad for each other. And to be even more honest, you enjoyed it when Minho got like this; the feeling of being Lee Minho’s girl will never not excite you, especially when he was the one keen on enforcing it.

You sigh to yourself. While that was a pleasant memory without the context, you aren’t so sure it’ll be cute this time, when Minho reacts to you and Terry.

Terry holds the door open to the lecture hall, letting you go in first before shutting the door behind him. Most of the class is already assembled there, setting up their desks before the professor starts. You see that Minho’s also sitting, perched in the back again, but he seems busy rifling through his bag, looking for something. As you take your own seat, you don’t know if you feel relief at Minho not saying anything, or disappointment that he didn’t notice you at all.

Throughout the duration of class, you and Terry giggle together over the professor’s infamous random rants, but your mind keeps flitting over to Minho. You can feel his gaze on you and Terry, but when you turn, you see him immersed in his notes like he wasn’t looking at you in the first place, and you end up feeling stupid. Fearful of what Minho— or really, you— might do, as soon as class ends, you grab Terry’s wrist and practically pull him out of the door, ready to get out of there. Terry doesn’t question it, understanding the rationale for your actions. You appreciate that about him.

To make it up to Terry, you take him out to lunch, choosing a restaurant downtown. You love the views of the riverfront there, as well as their renowned spicy food. You block out the memory of all of the times you and Minho walked over here, hand in hand. You are entitled to lunch at your favorite restaurant, you remind yourself. Once you’re seated, the waiter comes over to your table.

“Chef’s special soup, please. Level-three spice,” you tell the waiter.

The waiter writes down your orders and walks away, leaving Terry to look at you with an amused expression. “Level-three? The food here is already spicy.”

You cross your arms. “I have a very high spice tolerance.”

“Alright.”

In no time at all, your waiter is back, setting down the food in front of you both. Terry immediately digs in, shoveling liberal spoonfuls of his mild fried rice into his mouth, leaving you to stare at your soup. You can practically smell the red pepper in the steam rising out of the bowl.

“Here’s my last warning before destruction,” Terry says, squeezing a lemon onto his rice. “Try some rice.”

You sit up, trying to look self-assured. “Nonsense. I can do this.”

Of course, you wish you hadn’t bragged so much, barely a few seconds after your first sip of the spicy broth. Your eyes start to tear up involuntarily, and Terry fills a glass of water from the iced pitcher and hands it over to you. You accept it, clumsily tipping the cool water into your mouth, as Terry gives you a knowing smile.

“Aren’t you overdoing it?”

The spoon in your hands nearly falls onto the floor in your shock at Terry’s words. “What did you just say?”

Terry gives you an odd look. “Um, I said, ‘aren’t you overdoing it?’”

You take a deep breath, the tears now flowing down your cheeks. But you know that they’re not completely due to the soup. “Wow.”

“Are you okay, Y/N?” Terry hands you a napkin, worry written on his face. He signals for the waiter to refill the water pitcher.

You smile ruefully. “Yeah, I will be.”

“I can handle it, Minho.” You give him a glare, placing the napkin on your lap and scooting closer to the table. It’s your first date with Minho, and you want to impress him so bad.

Minho nudges your leg with his own, and you try not to look flustered. “It’s okay if you want to order something else.”

You stubbornly dig your spoon into the bowl, gathering a large helping of broth and noodles onto it. “You like the soup here. So I want to eat it too.”

He just laughs, watching intently as the clear signs of regret manifest on your face. “Told you so.”

"What are you talking about?” You narrow your eyes, unwilling to admit defeat, even though you really, really want to. You drink the soup in careful spoonfuls, pretending it’s too hot, but you struggle to speak even in between tiny sips. “This… is.. so… delicious.”

Minho is now hysterical, losing his mind laughing at the look on your face when you bite straight into a whole jalapeno. “Aren’t you overdoing it?”

“Minho, you’re so mean!” You can’t bear it any longer, the tears gushing down your cheeks while you also laugh in both pain and genuine happiness at being here with Minho, at making him laugh.

“Alright, alright.” Minho quickly goes and gets a large glass of chilled apple juice from the bar, handing it to you.

When you’re finally calmed down, you wipe your mouth with your napkin and set the spoon down, metaphorically waving a white flag. You skip straight to dessert, opting to soothe your taste buds with cold ice cream, all while watching Minho in awe as he easily finishes his own bowl of soup. After paying for dinner, Minho takes you to a secluded section of the rocky beach bordering the river that runs straight through the city. You both walk in a comfortable silence, still at that point where your hands slightly touch as you walk, unsure of just holding each other like you so want them to.

You look over at Minho, suddenly self-conscious. At this point, you see no point in faking anything; he’s seen you literally sob over a bowl of soup. “About the soup… I promise I’m not a braggy show-off. Honestly, I just wanted to impress you. Guess I did the opposite, though.”

“What are you talking about?” Minho shakes his head, all laughter from before gone. “I’ve never met someone who ate a bowl of soup here just because I like it. Not even Chan would try it, and he’s my best friend.”

You blush, illuminated by the combination of the moonlight and the glittering city surrounding. “Thank you.”

Minho stops walking, turning around to face you. “I know I told you this when I asked you to go out with me, but I suck at using my words, so I’m sorry.”

You copy his movement so you’re looking him directly in the eye. “I understand you, words or not.”

Minho looks down at the rocky ground, secretly fighting his own insecurities. “I’m trying, but I… I admit I’m not great at this.”

You try not to show how utterly charmed you are by his bashfulness. “To be honest, neither am I. You’re actually the first person I’ve ever gone out with. Nobody’s really been into me before.”

“Seriously?” Minho looks shocked.

You now wonder if divulging that information in him was wise. Definitely not. “Yeah.”

Minho kicks a pebble into the river, watching it sink into the water. “Idiots.”

You blink. “Sorry?”

He scoffs, looking back at you. “I don’t know what kind of idiots you were hanging around before. How could no one be into you?”

You shrug, embarrassed. Your heart feels heavy, thinking of the things people used to say to you, thinking they were being funny but not realizing how much mere words were hurting you. “I’m kind of undateable, I guess. People tend to gravitate towards Soyeon. They say I’m more of the comedic relief. I don’t blame them, though. She’s perfect.”

Minho gives you an unreadable expression. “You have no idea.”

“Of what?”

He crosses that miniscule space between you both, answering you in a different way than you expect. His lips are full and sweet, and he tastes like your coffee ice cream that he stole a few bites from. The surprise you harbor quickly melts away when you shut your eyes, wrapping your arms around his neck as he circles his around your waist. If it took this long to find the right person, then so be it. And you don’t know if you can say that this— your first kiss ever— is like the movies; it feels even better.

“I may not be good with words, but I can say this: you are perfect.”

“You look kind of stupid,” Hyunjin says, cackling at Minho’s struggle to look over the top of the box in his hands while coordinating his movements.

Minho gives Hyunjin a sharp look in response. “And you look ready to go into the air fryer.”

Hyunjin immediately tosses his phone aside and scurries over to where Minho is, taking the box out of his hands and transporting it into Minho’s designated bedroom with ease, looking over his shoulder fearfully as he goes. Minho smiles to himself, satisfied.

He follows Hyunjin into the room, finding the latter boy dramatically smoothing out the bedsheets and straightening the pillows. Hyunjin side-eyes Minho’s entrance, earning him a smack on the backside and a great reason to get out of the room, leaving Minho in peace.

Minho quickly unpacks, neatly folding his clothes and stacking them in the closet, before organizing the rest of his belongings around the room. When he finishes, he falls back onto his new bed, staring up at the ceiling fan and observing it whir. Out of everything that’s happened, he knows he should be thankful; although Hyunjin is the designated comedian of their friend group— along with Jisung, of course— he values his privacy incredibly. So when Hyunjin offered to rent out a room in his apartment to Minho, he couldn’t believe his luck. Then again, he wishes he wasn’t in this position to begin with.

Earlier today, Chan insisted on going out to catch the football game that their university hosted. Minho had agreed, with nothing better to do— besides, he noticed that Chan was also having a rough start to his day, after being locked in the campus library all night with his co-president that he always conflicted with. Chan had stayed quiet for the entire time, staring out the window on the ride to the home game, but at least he had a happy ending. By the end of the game, things had changed for Chan, and for the better: he’d amended things with his co-president, and of everything that could have happened, they even emerged from the stadium as a couple. For Minho, however, things had been quite different.

Namely, there’s a new replacement for Minho. He saw you walk into class with Kang Taehyun yesterday, and he’d been so anxious to not let you see his reaction that he immediately busied himself with his backpack. The entire time, however, he was watching you both whisper to each other during class. He darkly observed Taehyun scribble something onto the corner of your notebook, and it had made you laugh. That was what Minho used to do all the time. By the end of class, Minho considered confronting you right then and there, without caring about anyone else, but you ran out of class with Taehyun before he could even move.

And to make things even worse, he saw you and Taehyun together at the game. Minho had to resist the urge to march down to your section and slap the flirtatious smile off of Taehyun’s face. But more than anything, he wanted to ask you if it was true. Did you really already start to move on with a new man? Is Minho really that replaceable to you?

“Hey, what are you up to?” Hyunjin cautiously sticks his head into the room, snapping Minho out of his reverie.

“Nothing much. What’s up?”

Hyunjin steps into the room, his silky shirt and pressed trousers a stark contrast to Minho’s soft blue t-shirt and gym shorts. “Wanna go to the convenience store with me? I ran out of snacks.”

“You and your snacks,” Minho teases, chasing after Hyunjin when he sticks his tongue in retaliation.

A few minutes later, Hyunjin successfully drags Minho into the convenience store, disappearing into the junk food aisles to get his fix and leaving Minho to wander around the store. Following the twisting row of frozen foodstuffs, Minho turns and crashes straight into you.

“Minho?” Your eyes widen.

Minho clears your throat, trying not to gaze at you like you’re a returned long-lost love. You are indeed lost to him, but he had class with you merely the day before. He needs to get a grip on himself. “You dropped this.”

He kneels down, picking up the tub of ice cream, and hands it to you after inspecting the flavor label. “Strawberry? You hate strawberry.”

You take it back hastily. “Yeah. You always loved it, though.”

That doesn’t satisfy Minho’s rampant irritation. “You wouldn’t even touch strawberry ice cream with a ten-foot pole before. What changed?”

“I just wanted to try something new,” you say, with what Minho observes as guilt.

Before Minho can respond, the person he wants to see the least rounds the corner and interrupts you both.

“I promise, the strawberry ice cream here is amazing and— oh.” Taehyun walks up to where you are, standing slightly between you and Minho, before he looks down at you, ignoring Minho. “Am I interrupting something? I can go away.”

You shake your head, flaring the rage in Minho. “It’s fine. You can stay.”

“So you’ll eat strawberry ice cream with him, but not me.” Minho rolls his eyes, the humiliation inside him swelling like a balloon.

“Hey man, it’s nothing like that. I know she doesn’t like strawberry ice cream that much, but I practically threatened her to try it. J'adore strawberries,” Taehyun says in a joking tone, but Minho doesn’t miss the protective glint in his eye.

Minho has never been a violent person, but he balls his fists. The nerve. “Who the fuck even are you? You don’t know anything about—”

“What is your problem, Minho?” You cut in angrily. “If you’re mad at me, then be mad at me. Don’t take your frustrations out on Terry.”

What you said is perfectly sensible, Minho knows that. He doesn’t have anything against Taehyun at all; he doesn’t even know the guy. But all logic is thrown out of the window when it comes to you.

“Terry?” Minho scoffs at the nickname. “You know what, I am mad at you. Because seriously? Kang Taehyun? He isn’t even your type.”

Before Taehyun can say anything else, you respond to Minho’s jab, sarcasm dripping from your voice. “Right, because you were so perfect for me.”

The words hit him like a sledgehammer, and Minho starts in surprise— you’ve never talked to him like that before, ever. And neither has he. The regret is evident on your face as you shake your head, frustrated, like that came out wrong.

“I got the snacks!” Hyunjin announces suddenly, waltzing into the aisle, before he notices you standing there with Taehyun. “What’s going on here?”

You and Taehyun stay quiet, adding onto Minho’s misery. He wants you to say something, anything. He doesn’t even want an apology; he knows he absolutely deserved that insult. Still, Minho can’t help that horrible feeling rising inside of him.

“Let’s just go.” Minho turns on his heel and walks out of the store, before waiting to finish the conversation, Hyunjin following closely behind. He doesn’t bother looking back.

Hyunjin doesn’t say anything to Minho, falling silent in the rapidly approaching night. At times like this, Minho prefers to be left alone. But he isn’t, really. Not with the truth leaning over his shoulder, like an angelic superego. He tries not to think of it, however, or the fact that his heart is falling apart so violently in his chest. Although you and Minho are not together anymore, you’ve both now fulfilled a milestone: hurt each other beyond repair.

The convenience store encounter with Minho left you feeling guiltier than ever, even more than when you actually broke up with him. You should have been more understanding towards Minho; after suddenly ending things, you appear out with Terry. Even though you don’t see Terry like that, you are well aware of how it can look to Minho. After all, you’d react similarly if you found out that Minho and Minju are dating. But you hadn’t, because you know that Minho would never do that to you.

You sigh, shutting the door to your room and collapsing onto your bed. After the whole incident, the air between you and Terry had been pretty awkward. While you still don’t know much about Terry, including his intentions, the topic of a romance had never been broached until Minho did it for you. He’d walked you back to your apartment, before wishing you a goodnight.

Your phone sounds with a text, and you pick it up, curling into your pillow. It’s Terry.

terrypotter: just checking up on you terrypotter: how are you doing? bobaluvrr: better, thanks for asking terrypotter: glad to hear terrypotter: and i also want to say that i’m sorry for any role i might have played in what happened today bobaluvrr: you’re good, terry. it wasn’t about you. i’m sorry for bringing you in

There is truth to this. No matter how much it feels like third parties have an avenue in furthering the split between you and Minho, the problem has always been internal. It’s truly between you both, hence, you’re not a couple anymore.

bobaluvrr: let’s change the subject? terrypotter: ofc terrypotter: wanna play would you rather?

You laugh in spite of yourself. It feels good to laugh, to distract yourself, but Minho stays like a stubborn mirage in your mind. Nevertheless—

bobaluvrr: game on. terrypotter: beaches or mountains? bobaluvrr: beaches terrypotter: sweet or salty? bobaluvrr: are u kidding? my username? boba?? terrypotter: LOL sweet then bobaluvrr: yes. terrypotter: spring or autumn? bobaluvrr: spring, duh terrypotter: and lastly, dogs or cats? bobaluvrr: DOGS terrypotter: u are 100% correct terrypotter: all of our answers are the exact same LMFAO

You think back to your first date with Minho. Before the whole soup fiasco, the atmosphere had been so awkward while waiting for the soup to arrive. This was months of tension and pining between you both, and now that the apex had arrived, neither of you were sure of what to say. Without thinking, Minho broke the silence by randomly asking you if you liked dogs or cats better. You were automatically enchanted by the bashful look on his face. From there on, for every single question he asked you, both of you had the exact opposite answers. For the longest time, your differences had felt charming, before they weren’t.

Terry, on the other hand, shares so many similarities with you, beyond the strawberry ice cream betrayal. Both of you are outgoing, have a similar sense of humor, and like to be unabashedly yourselves. If a romance did ever blossom between you and Terry, if your friendship lasts your current heartbreak, you could be happy with him, maybe. You would never be insecure, worrying about what’s going on in his mind, because he would talk to you directly. You appreciate that so much about him. But whenever you look into his eyes, or whenever your hand accidentally brushes his, you don’t feel that electricity that had always coursed through you when you were with Minho. You’ve been searching for it everywhere since, but that spark just isn’t there; Taehyun’s just not Minho. Your heart calls out to Minho, no matter how much you wish it wouldn’t, and you can’t deny it any longer.

If there’s one thing that Minho has learned in the duration of his college years, it’s that work has no tolerance for those special ailments of the heart. His professors don’t give a crap about the fact that his girlfriend dumped him, or that his girlfriend has now apparently moved on with some pink-haired stud. No matter how much he wants to slam his laptop screen down and fall asleep to the rhythm of his shattered heart, he knows he can’t. His term paper will not write itself, and it matters, especially since he’ll be graduating this year.

“What will you do when we graduate?” You set down your iPad, flexing your fingers.

“A job at a good company. And then one day, my own business.” That familiar, dreamy look mists Minho’s eyes.

You smile at him. “My handsome CEO.”

Minho tapped your nose with his finger, following it with a soft kiss there. “You are so cute.”

“I know.” You peek down at his notebook that’s full of graphs and lengthy strings of numbers. “This looks complicated.”

“Welcome to the life of a business and economics double major,” Minho laughs. “But you’re literally a pre-med student. I’m not going to complain when you have to memorize human anatomy and random proteins.”

“Don’t remind me.” You dramatically shudder, giggling at Minho. “But I don’t care, as long as one day, you’re CEO Lee, and I’m Dr. Lee.”

Your words shock both you and Minho, invoking a moment of charged silence. You both have never talked about getting married before. But before you can backtrack, a slow smile spreads across Minho’s face. “Dr. Lee… has a ring to it, don’t you think?”

You turn a bright red, but lean into Minho, kissing him sweetly on the lips. “Definitely.”

Minho clears his throat and shakes yet another memory of you away, trying to concentrate on the email open in front of him. Just minutes ago, he’d received notice that he’d been chosen for a position at Google, following graduation. Fucking Google. Every business major would kill for a job at Google. And not only that, but his employer noted in the message that they usually don’t even extend offers this early in the year, but made an exception for him because they wanted him so much.

For a moment, he forgot all about the angst of the previous day, giddily jumping off his bed in a rare display of emotion, even if nobody else was around. And then he reached for his phone, opening up your contact and preparing to type in a text to you; for months, you knew Minho was anxious about his application to Google. But then he remembers himself; he’s now someone in your past.

Minho swallows roughly, staring at the blank space where his response accepting the offer should be. A moment later, he decides he’ll respond to the email later. But he doesn’t even have any time to chide himself before he notices someone standing in front of him.

“Minju?”

She looks down at him, either oblivious to his confusion or choosing to ignore it. “Hey. Am I interrupting something?”

Minho nods, waiting for Minju to sit down and get settled into her chair, trying not to let his bewilderment show.

At Jihyo’s party, he had needed some air after that stupid game of Truth or Dare, and even worse, your reaction to the question asked of him. Minho had escaped to the balcony, hoping for a moment alone, when Minju approached him. When she launched into a conversation with him about school, Minho realized that you probably never told Minju about the break-up. So he excused himself as politely as he could, explaining that you and him both broke up. He never really considered Minju as his own friend, and did not expect Minju to pursue a relationship with him any further.

“I’ll get straight to the point, Minho.” Minju exhales, looking him directly in the eye. “I like you.”

Minho sits up immediately, shocked. “What did you just say?”

Minju purses her lips. “I like you, and I always have. Go out with me.”

Minho shakes his head in disbelief, the confusion fading into anger. “You’re Y/N’s friend. How could you do this to her? How can you even look at yourself?”

“You’re not together anymore, it doesn’t matter,” Minju says, her voice wavering.

He scoffs, packing up his belongings and shoving them carelessly into his bag. “Don’t talk to me again.”

Minju grabs the sleeve of Minho’s jacket as he turns to leave, desperation in her eyes. “Be with me instead. I’ll make you forget her.”

Minho shakes her free, giving her a look of both pity and disgust. “I still love her, and I always will.”

And with that, Minho leaves without looking back, walking slowly and deliberately in thought. Was this what you meant when you told him that you weren’t sure if you were the only one? Was Minju the reason for the love of his life leaving him? A strange mix of both fury and hope washes over Minho as he exits the library and breaks into a run, barely eight out of his eight-thousand word essay written.

After you broke up with Minho, you forgot one very crucial detail: you didn’t unlink him from your Google calendar. One of the few things you both share in common is your organization, and when you were together, you both loved to plan things together and very ceremoniously add them to your shared online calendar. It became a game, trying to guess where the other was at random times, judging by their schedule. More often than not, the calendar proved to be a very useful tool in pinpointing each other’s locations. It’s why the brief surprise of seeing Minho standing outside your apartment door in the middle of the day on a weekday fades away quickly. You don’t have any classes scheduled today.

“Y/N,” he pants, leaning against the doorframe.

“Minho. What are you doing here?” You cross your arms, resisting the urge to rush forward and hug him in all of his puffer coat glory. You used to make fun of him for that coat, all the time.

“I needed to see you. Minju told me,” Minho lowers his eyes, as if he’s nervous. “I need you to know that there was nothing going on with her. You have always been my only one. I promise. No one else. I miss you.”

Your heart wrenches in desire and nostalgia at the sincerity of his eyes. Of course you knew that he never cheated on you; this is Minho. But that’s not the reason why you have to remind yourself, once more, that you aren’t right for each other. Not in the long run. “I miss you too. And I know you didn’t cheat on me.”

Minho’s eyes fill with what you recognize as a mix of despair and tears, because after all, you’ve felt it in you too, before. “Then why? Why end it?”

“I feel like you don’t love me as much as I love you.”

The wheels turning inside of Minho’s mind and searching for possible reasons, immediately crash to a stop. “What?”

You shrug, drawing back your hands to tuck them into your lap, a habit that Minho has observed whenever you are nervous. “Remember when we were at that picnic with all of your friends? And Jisung and his girlfriend were also there? We were playing a question game.”

Minho nods slowly, still confused. “I do.”

“Felix had asked all the guys to think of why they love their girlfriends.” You look down at your hands, embarrassed. “Changbin had a whole list of reasons. But when it was your turn to speak, you had no answer.”

The recollection comes back to Minho like a tsunami. He hadn’t really ever thought much of that day; he always had trouble talking about personal things in front of other people, and he thought you already knew why he loved you. He didn’t know his inability to share something like that could hurt you so much, especially when he can write a whole book of reasons for why he loves you. Your smile. Your endless generosity. Your never ending patience for Minho’s antics. The way you always see the best in people, and how you light up the whole room when you walk in.

“Baby,” Minho starts, before realizing that he doesn’t have the right to call you that anymore. Reluctantly, he continues, using your name instead. “Y/N, I have trouble talking in front of other people. I love you so much, and if you know that, it’s all that really matters. A stupid game doesn’t change that.”

You laugh, but there’s no humor in it. “But see, Minho, I don’t know. I don’t know how you’re feeling half the time. Felix’s question was just the icing on the cake. I’m exhausted from wondering. Wondering if you love me. Wondering if I really know you. Just wondering all the time. I shouldn’t feel that way.”

I’ll try harder to be more open. I’ll work on myself. I just— please believe me.”

“I do believe that you’ll try, Min. It’s who you are. But I can’t force you to be someone you’re not, and you can’t force me to want different things. We’ll only end up hurting each other more.” Your eyes fill with tears. “It hurts to love you.”

Minho flinches at your words, and he sees the sorrow in your eyes, but you say nothing to soothe the burn. Nevertheless, he keeps trying, as if he didn’t notice the determination written in your gaze as well. “I know I was senseless. But please— I’m begging you. Don’t do this. Don’t leave, not again.”

You look away from him, a single tear sliding down your cheek, as Minho tries to hold back his own. The whole scene feels disturbingly like a few days ago, when you broke up with him in Morningstar. He had hoped it wouldn’t come to this.

“I tried to understand you. I did. But don’t you think that being senseless about everything that was going on also means that you were that indifferent towards me?” You scrub at your face to keep from crying even more.

Minho cringes, hearing the truth in your words. Once upon a time, he cherished the silence you both could share comfortably, working independently in the happy company of each other. Now the quiet hangs in the air like smog, a heavy uneasiness that he never imagined around you. “I really thought I could change. I swear.”

You nod, a brisk movement that doesn’t match the tears glistening on your face. “You should go now. Please.”

And you turn your head, as if you can’t bear to watch him any longer. Minho turns, his head hanging down like he’s a sinner. A small, ugly voice in Minho whispers that he truly is one, for hurting you and letting you go. It implores him to fall at your feet and stay, insisting, breaking at you until you crumble into his arms, taking him back. But the part of him that carries the resolve is stronger by a thread, the one that fuels his despondent retreat from your heart.

Later, holed away in the place he would now have to call his home, Minho is left alone in the bed that he’d once believed to belong to you as much as it did to him. The nights cuddled together and the mornings after, when you woke up to each other in a halo of sunlight, all fade away into the prickling solitude that now constitutes his new reality. There is nothing left for him to do now, except looking out at the sky through his tiny bedroom window, wondering if you were both gazing at the same moon in the separate worlds you both now are in. He’d left you one last message before promising himself that he’d never text you again, and thankfully, you never responded. He didn’t think you would.

catservant98: I’ll always love you.

“The festival will end by the time we get there.” Jeongin lets out an exaggerated sigh, making a show of checking the watch on his wrist.

“Shut up. I need to lock this place up properly or my parents will kill me,” Seungmin mutters grumpily, as he carefully turns the key in the lock to Morningstar, taking his time. “It’s not my fault that I’m the owner’s son.”

Jeongin, donned in a Harley Quinn outfit, bounces on his toes in uncontained anticipation. “Hurry up!”

Seungmin tugs at the lock for good measure, before turning and swatting at Jeongin, who yelps and jumps out of the way. His detective hat, which he wore as a part of his Sherlock Holmes costume, falls off, and Jeongin grabs it. Usually, Minho would have laughed at the way Seungmin has started to chase Jeongin around, but he just glumly stares down at his sneakers, having no energy to join in.

“You okay?” Chan notices Minho’s downcast gaze, slinging his arm around his shoulders. “You don’t have to come if you don’t want to.”

Minho shrugs with one shoulder, out of options. “I’m fine. I have nothing else to do anyway.”

Today is Halloween, your favorite holiday of the entire year. It seems especially cruel to him, to have to confront this day without you by his side. It was never much of his scene, and he’d always been reluctant to dress up, but one look from your pleading eyes and he’d fold, decking himself in a cheesy costume and feeding you all the candy you desired. The night would always end in you both binging horror movies together because you were too scared to watch alone. The memory of Minho getting distracted, just watching you hide behind your hands the entire time, used to bring a fond smile to his face. Today, it makes him want to smash something into bits.

“Let me know if you want to leave the festival early, though. Changbin can drive you home later.” Chan juts his chin out at Jeongin and Seungmin, who are now smacking at each other, while Changbin responsibly tries to pull them apart. “I have to make sure those two idiots don’t get in trouble.”

“Thanks. But you don’t have to worry about me.” Minho gives Chan a half-hearted smile. Chan looks hesitant, like he wants to keep talking with him, but he nods, focusing on the moonlit path in front of them.

The roar of the annual Halloween festival that the university throws resonates throughout campus, drawing stressed students ready to throw aside their homework and party. But Minho is in anything but a celebratory mood; the last few weeks have been absolute agony. Ever since things fell apart. He just wants to go home and curl up into a ball under his covers, ready for this stupid night to be over. He didn’t even bother with a costume, choosing to stuff himself into his hoodie and make himself seem as small as possible. But he’s too tired to tell anyone, so he opts to stay quiet and gloomy on his own.

The gravel of the walkway crunches under their little group’s shoes, barely heard over the deafening sound of “Thriller” blasting on the DJ’s stereo. The entire main lawn of campus has been converted into a party space, crammed with different tents full of attractions, games, and souvenirs for students to indulge themselves in. There’s even a converted frat house that’s now a haunted house, as well as tables of snacks and lightsticks for people to wave around. Jeongin, Seungmin, and Changbin immediately zero in on the haunted house, running off to get tickets for it, leaving Minho and Chan alone. Two boys swaying together at the edge of the dance floor catch Minho’s eyes. He looks closer and notices that they both are dressed in an obvious couples costume, and it makes him think of you again— last year, he was Chucky and you were Tiffany Valentine, and you both won “Best Look” together, at the festival’s costume contest. Minho feels sick to his stomach.

“Oh my god, she’s stunning.” Chan’s eyes are wide, and Minho follows his gaze to a very pretty girl dressed in a white gown that seemed to float above her knees, two trailing pieces of fabric sticking out daintily from the back of her dress. An angel.

She approaches him with a shy smile on her face, as she not-so-subtly checks out Chan’s own dracula costume. “You look good.”

“I— you’re pretty,” Chan stutters, and they both blush.

Seriously?

“Thanks, Chris.”

Chan smiles lovingly at her. “You don’t have to call me Chris, you know. My friends call me Chan.”

“Chan,” the girl tests with a beam, before quirking her brow at him. “So I’m just a friend now? Not your girlfriend?”

“You drive me crazy, you know that?”

And then they both start kissing right then and there, which doesn’t seem to faze anyone else around them, considering the fact that they are surrounded by other couples. Minho, however, has to look away, his stomach turning. Is this how everyone else felt when he used to kiss you, whenever and wherever he wanted?

“Hey guys, I’m going to go find a place to sit,” Minho calls out to Chan, who barely notices in the midst of his make-out session. “You know what? Never mind.”

Cringing to himself, Minho makes his way over to the food tables, dodging at least five witches, seven ghouls, and six zombies on his way. He collapses onto the bench of an empty table with a groan, letting his head rest on the table before lifting it up like he’s been stung; the thump of the DJ’s bass seems to vibrate through the wooden tabletop, worsening his already horrible headache. What was he thinking, coming here?

“You seem to be enjoying yourself.”

Minho looks up, ready to lash out at the intruder, before he notices it’s Hyunjin. He is so out of it that he hadn’t even recognized his voice. “I thought you were staying home and painting tonight?”

“Thought about it, but I kept getting distracted by all of the noise outside, and thought I’d take a snack break.” Hyunjin plops down on the seat across from him, setting a plate loaded with brownies, potato chips, and cookies cut into pumpkin shapes. He’s dressed in plaid pajama pants and a baggy sweatshirt to fight the October chill, the only one besides Minho who hasn’t dressed up. “Want some?”

Minho shakes his head, watching Hyunjin dig in. “Can I ask you a question?”

Hyunjin nods, his cheeks stuffed with food. “Sure.”

“Don’t you ever get lonely?” Minho fiddles with the strings of his hoodie, feeling his face heat up. He was never one for sentiments like this, but even though he and Hyunjin have more of a seemingly lighthearted relationship, they’re more alike than they think in how deeply they care about each other. “I mean, you’ve never even had a serious relationship before, but you’re like the most hopeless romantic I’ve ever met. How does that even work?”

Hyunjin looks surprised, at first, but quickly smooths it away in understanding. “I do get lonely sometimes. But I just occupy myself with the things I love. Painting, reading. Just because I’m a hopeless romantic doesn’t mean I can’t be realistic. And I have been in a serious relationship before, remember?”

Minho frowns. “Oh. Right. What happened?”

He notices Hyunjin’s eyes flicker with something— grief, maybe. But the emotion is quickly replaced with indifference. Hyunjin shrugs. “Let’s just say it didn’t work out. I love a good romance novel, but is it real life? No. I don’t do relationships. Not anymore.”

Minho stays quiet, unknowing of what to say. He never thought of himself as a huge relationship person either, but then again, that was before he met you. You changed his perspective on a lot of things, and most of the time, he thought it was for the better. Now, he feels empty, alone. He wants to match costumes with someone, and go bobbing for apples together. And he wants that someone to be you, only you.

Hyunjin must have noticed Minho’s melancholic contemplation, because he gives him a sympathetic look. “Is this about Y/N?”

Minho’s chest tightens at the mention of your name. “I don’t know, honestly. I just want to go home.”

“Same. I just came for the free food.” Hyunjin chews on a brownie, before swallowing. “Let’s go after I finish eating.”

Minho hums in response, pulling his hood over his head, as the rest of their group comes to join the table. Chan and his girlfriend, unsurprisingly, are discussing plans about some upcoming event for the Student Council. Jeongin and Seungmin, on the other hand, are immersed in a gleeful recollection about the haunted house with Changbin, who is dressed up as Woody from Toy Story. Everyone seems to have a role except him.

“That was actually wild,” Jeongin says. “If Jisung was with us, he would have fainted when he saw the chainsaw guy!”

Seungmin shudders, while Changbin glances around their table. “Hey, where is Jisung, anyway? And Felix?”

Chan breaks away from his own conversation as his girlfriend pauses to eat her slice of cake. “He’s handing out candy to kids at home. Meanwhile, Felix is Trick-or-Treating.”

Jeongin snickers. “Trick-or-Treating? What is he, ten?”

Seungmin grins evilly at Changbin. “At least he doesn’t have the height of a ten year old.”

Changbin rolls his eyes, but chooses to ignore Seungmin and Jeongin’s high-five at his expense, instead turning to Hyunjin. “Can I have a cookie? There are no more left.”

Hyunjin gives him a judgemental glare, but passes a cookie over anyway. “Where’s your girlfriend, by the way?”

Changbin stuffs half of the entire cookie into his mouth, licking the frosting on his lip. “She has work. But we’re going to meet up later tonight and watch movies. Wanna come?”

Hyunjin shakes his head. “I’m good. Minho and I are headed home soon anyway. Right, Minho?”

But Minho isn’t paying attention. His gaze is locked on none other than you and Taehyun, dressed in Hogwarts robes— you in Gryffindor, and Taehyun in Slytherin. He’s seen multiple people tonight sporting similar getups, and so both of you wearing Hogwarts robes doesn’t exactly entail a couples costume, but it makes his heart clench either way. Both of you are standing near the apple bobbing station, laughing and talking animatedly together. It hurts to see you enjoying yourself, while Minho has to struggle to keep himself together, to keep from breaking down on the spot. It hurts that he’s not the one matching with you right now, the one to be making you laugh, holding you on one of your favorite days of the year.

He watches as you and Taehyun walk closer to the haunted house. Your smile has now faded into an unsure expression, skeptical and tinged with fear. Taehyun puts his arm around your shoulders, evidently trying to assure you, before he leads you inside the house. Minho immediately springs up from the bench, fists balled up at his sides. You love everything about Halloween, except for one thing. You hate being in the dark, and so you had always avoided the haunted houses at every Halloween festival or any other event that you and Minho went to. Obviously, Taehyun doesn’t have a clue about your boundaries, and as always, you’re too kind to point them out.

Ignoring Hyunjin’s confused protests, Minho stalks after you and Taehyun, even though he knows that he should sit right back down. He told himself that he’d stay away from you if you didn’t want him, but if he even gets the slight sense that you are afraid, he’ll throw all reason out the window. He won’t let you go inside, not without him.

“Excuse me— you can’t go in right now. The haunted house is at full capacity.” The ticket collector stops Minho even though he shows her the ticket that Jeongin had passed out to everyone before. “Just wait for a few minutes for someone to come out.”

But he can’t. Not if you’re already inside. Minho steps back for a moment, and the collector glances back down at her phone. Before the collector can react, he rushes past her, running inside. She calls after him angrily, but he barely hears her. All he can register is the racing beat of his heart, and the faint screams deeper inside, wondering if one of them could be you.

He whips past the ax-wielding maniacs and the corpse brides in tattered dresses, pushing past their horrible acting and all of the other props in his way to you. Minho feels his hoodie snagged against a cloud of fake cobwebs, and the fake blood on the walls is enough to make him gag, but he goes on. A desperate search in nearly every nook and corner yields nothing, and Minho curses the haphazard quality of the setup, nearly tripping over a loose wire. As he passes through a room decorated like a murderous hospital room, he hears a small whimper from behind the fake operating table.

His senses perk up and there you are, sitting down with your knees drawn to your chest. With how his eyes have now adjusted to the dark, he can faintly make out your crouched body and the shine of your flowing tears. Immediately, he gets onto his knees, and envelopes you with his arms, firmly pulling you against his chest.

“Y/N, it’s me,” he murmurs, the scent of your coconut shampoo blocking out the stench of ammonia.

“Terry and I got chased by one of the ghosts and then got separated,” you mumble as you cry, shivering in his arms as he begins to rock you slowly. “I’m so scared, Minho.”

Minho looks at the tears still leaking down the sides of your face, and has to restrain himself from the instinct to kiss them away. Instead, he puts a steady hand to your skin, gently wiping them away. In this moment, you aren’t broken up. He isn’t your ex-boyfriend, and you aren’t his ex-girlfriend. You are the girl he loves, and him the very soul that has so vehemently devoted himself to even at such a ripe age, an inspiration and a shame to the vengeful spirits that govern your favorite holiday.

“I’m here now. I’m not going to leave you.” Minho gazes down at you. “Are you still frightened?”

You shake your head no, wide eyes clinging to his comforting presence. Minho gives you a small smile, rubbing your jaw softly with his thumb, a movement that doesn’t feel as inherently romantic as it generally would be. “See? You’re not afraid of the dark. You’re just scared of being alone in it. And that goes away when you realize something. You’re never really alone.”

Both of you just gaze at each other in the dark for a few minutes, saying both nothing and yet everything to each other. He carefully rests his palm against your heart, gaging the beat until it slows down to its usual calm. Wordlessly, he helps you onto your feet, his arms still wrapped around you as you both navigate the maze of the haunted house. You don’t encounter any other of the actors, but at one point, you jump in Minho’s hold, spooked by the amplified horror sound when passing by a speaker. Steadily, you both make your way out together.

The first thing Minho sees as he steps out of the exit is the array of blinding lights that shine on his face, in addition to the glow of the raging bonfire that has now been set up for students to roast marshmallows. Then he catches that shock of pink hair in the small crowd gathered outside of the haunted house; Taehyun, distress written all over his features as he speaks to the security guards.

You and Minho, however, stay frozen on the spot, just staring at each other with a fresh uncertainty. Realizing himself, Minho lets go of you. Contrary to how you felt, Minho could always read you like a book. He practically memorized all of your expressions, able to tell how you were feeling in an instant. But the indecipherable look you give him is baffling, but before you can open your mouth and say something, Taehyun notices your arrival.

“Y/N!” Taehyun immediately rushes over, his breathing labored from sprinting the distance to you. “I’m so, so sorry; I lost you and tried to come back inside to find you, but they wouldn’t let me!”

Minho steps to the side awkwardly as Taehyun hugs you tightly, squeezing his eyes shut. Your tears are long gone, and you pat his back softly, giving him the comfort of your safety. “I’m alright, Terry. It’s all good.”

Taehyun pulls back to look at you, before turning to Minho, surprise and confusion on his features as if just registering Minho’s presence. You clear your throat, placing a hand on Taehyun’s arm. “Hey, could you give us a minute?”

“Sure. Of course,” Terry says, the stress on his face softening as he looks down at you. Minho recognizes it— it’s how he always imagined himself to look whenever he saw you.

You turn back to Minho as Terry walks away to a food stand, presumably to get you a warm drink. “Minho, I—”

“I’m glad you’re okay,” Minho interrupts, unable to bear any more. He chokes back a sob, his eyes trained on your pained expression. “I need to go.”

“Minho, wait!” You grab his arm, and it places you both in the uncomfortable déjà vu of when everything ended.

He looks back at you, swallowing his dread and pushing away the angsty alert of his brain, the command to let everything go and just take you back, then and there. But he wouldn’t be the man you had always loved, then. Not if he takes advantage of you when you’re like this, vulnerable and exhausted. Not when there’s a perfectly good man standing at a distance, hesitantly holding a cup of hot chocolate for you. Not when he knows that he’s lost his chance of ever getting you back from the moment he gave up on you both. Minho realizes that he doesn’t have the right to call you his anymore, when you’ve finally found a man who prioritizes you over his pride and his insecurities— a man who will treat you right, and will never make you wonder if you’re his only one. All he’s ever wanted is for you to be happy. That has to be enough for him. It will be.

Minho leans down before you can protest, kissing you on your forehead softly. You stay silent, looking up at him with those wide, inquisitive eyes, the very ones he fell in love with. “Stay smiling, always.”

And with that, Minho finally walks away, willing himself not to cry as he tries not to think of his heart breaking.

You watch Minho, dazed, as he walks away for the second and last time. It feels worse, somehow, than when he left your apartment, weeks ago. Minho had spoken to you so gently, inside the haunted house, calming you down in spite of the fact that you had so cruelly broken up with him, and then he proceeded to wish you his best, before leaving. You didn’t miss that note of finality in his voice, the one that told you that he wasn’t going to go back on his word. He had let you go.

You barely notice Terry approaching you, placing a warm hand on your shoulder. “Is everything okay?”

He hands you a cup of hot chocolate, as you stare at Minho’s retreating back before it finally disappears within the crowd of partygoers. “Everything’s fine. Thanks for this, Terry.”

Terry blinks at you, slightly unfocused. “Yeah of course. But… can I ask you something?”

You nod, sipping the hot chocolate. It’s so warm and sweet, and it feels wrong to be drinking it. It feels like you don’t deserve it.

He hesitates for a moment, before speaking up. “What happened in there? In the haunted house?”

You bite your lip, still distracted by the thought of Minho; Terry’s question doesn’t pull at you as much as it probably should. “He just found me and helped me back. That’s all.”

Terry looks like he wants to say something else, but he doesn’t, and you don’t question it. The rest of the night is clouded by an awkward rut that has originated from nowhere at all, one that you never guessed you’d experience with Terry. He walks you back to your apartment early, and waits next to you as you fumble with your keys.

“Good night, Y/N,” he says softly, as you finally wrestle your door open.

“Thanks,” you whisper back, too drained of energy to make one of the usual jokes traded when you both say goodbye. He tips his head at you like he always does, albeit in a less jaunty way, and steps into the apartment elevator at the end of the hall, flashing you one last little wave before the doors close.

You turn back to your apartment, walking inside and locking the door behind you once again. This time, you don’t go straight to your bedroom and drop onto your bed, like you always do after a horrible day. Instead, you stalk over to the kitchen, which is illuminated by a single, flickering lightbulb. You tug open the freezer, fishing out a box from your emergency stash of ice cream, the one thing bound to be on stock at all times. When you went grocery shopping some time ago, you didn’t think that a crisis would hit so soon.

Cracking open the lid of the chocolate ice cream, you take your scooper and place a bowl on the counter. After a second thought, you take out your blender as well, and scrape the ice cream into there instead, throwing in some milk and peanut butter as well. Tonight is a milkshake kind of night, you think, the kind that necessitates butterscotch chips and whipped cream as well, you note, opening the cupboard to get said ingredients. When you finish blending, you pour your icy salvation into a large tumbler and collapse onto the living room couch. You turn on the television, blankly staring at the screen while barely registering the dialogue playing.

“That’s not a milkshake— that’s diabetes in a glass.”

“Don’t knock it ‘till you’ve tried it.” You shoot Minho a pointed look as you chug down your shake, savoring the sound of Minho’s laughter even more than a hefty peanut butter and chocolate combo.

It isn’t until you taste saltiness instead of the sweet milkshake that you realize you’re crying.

callmeterry: can we meet? bobaluvrr: yes. see u @ morningstar

You stare into the bathroom mirror, checking your face one last time, inspecting it for bloodshot eyes and dry skin, the telltale signs of the tears that have now become a habit over the past few days. Ever since Halloween, things haven’t been the same since you and Terry. Although a fairly new friendship, you both spent a significant amount of time together after meeting at Jihyo’s birthday party. However, you haven’t seen each other at all outside of Writing Seminar nowadays— probably because during class, you’re too busy staring at Minho, who won’t even spare you a single glance. You’re determined to at least save your friendship with Terry, which is why you are so quick to agree to meet him.

“Catch you two later,” you call out to Sunoo and Soyeon, who both are slumped on the couch, watching One Piece over boxes of takeout butter chicken.

The journey to Morningstar doesn’t take long, especially since the vastly approaching night has gotten you nearly jogging, regardless of how safe your college campus is. Although it’s been nearly a month and a half, you still can’t get used to not having the security and comfort of your boyfriend. Serves you right, you think.

You enter through the glass doorway of Morningstar, the door chime ringing and announcing your entrance to Terry. He stands up from the table he’s sitting at, walking over to you with the genuine smile that you were fearful of not being able to see again. Terry looks heartbreakingly handsome, dressed in a long brown coat and wool scarf, an ode to the plaid shirt days and hot chocolate nights that you know you could have with him.

“Hi,” he says, pausing his gait when he’s a few feet away from you. Tentative, but still Terry. The bouquet of assorted flowers in his hands, however, isn’t.

You can literally feel your face fall, as you stare at the certainly expensive arranged red roses and lilies. “I—”

“Don’t.” Terry’s smile doesn’t fade, but the slight sheen of moisture to his eyes is new. “ I know. I’d rather not hear you say it. Please.”

You’re speechless as he hands you the flowers, the refreshingly floral scent wafting up and screaming at you to wake up. You had a feeling, you knew how Terry felt about you. But you didn’t think he’d act on those feelings so soon.

“You know, I’ve been in love with you since August. You walked into the very first day of class late, wearing this gorgeous pink dress— and God, I was so whipped. I even dyed my hair the same color.” Terry laughs lightly, but you can see the heaviness in his eyes, the same thing that you feel in your chest. “I didn’t approach you, though, because I saw the way you were looking at Minho.”

You shake your head, still in disbelief. “Terry…”

“And then you walked into the kitchen at that party; it felt like a sign. But that can’t have been true, because the way you looked at him didn’t change. It never will.” He stops for a moment, taking in a shaky breath. “When you both broke up, I ignored my heart telling me not to dig myself deeper into this, to leave you alone. But I couldn’t, Y/N, because I thought that the risk would be worth it. And it was, you know. You are worth it.”

“I’m sorry,” you whisper, at a loss for words. You don’t know what else to say, whether it’s a reaction to how your friend is pouring out his heart to you, or the fact that he’s always known that you’d never be his.

The smile on Terry’s face is now a sharp contrast to the strings of tears that mar it. “Don’t be. It’s Minho. It’s always been Minho for you.”

He turns, but you rush forward and block him. You can’t lose someone else. Not again. “Terry, wait! Can’t we be friends?”

“Of course we can be. I’d rather have you as a friend than not in my life at all. I’ll move on, eventually. But you have to go fix things with him now.” He flashes you another one of his signature beams. It doesn’t have the same joyful effect on you as it usually does, now that it’s tainted with sadness. “I’ll see you next class. Hold onto him, okay?”

Terry leaves, and you stare after him at the door, dumbfounded, haunting the entryway of the coffee shop nearing closing hours. You never saw this confrontation coming, not today. And you didn’t want it to happen any time soon, not like this. But no matter how much you want to deny Terry’s words, you know they are the truth. You know what you have to do. Because love works in strange ways, you realize, and now yours needs to be made right.

“We shouldn’t be here.” You say, shaking your head. “It’s dangerous.”

Minho just stares at you, his eyebrow skeptically quirked in a way that shouldn’t be as attractive as it is. “It’s literally just a bridge.”

You glare at him, before looking out at the arched walkway that connects the wooded expanse of the university library to the rest of campus. According to university lore, any pair of lovers that walks over Forsaken Bridge together is doomed to suffer an untimely separation; hence, its ominous name. And you would rather look stupid for believing in superstition rather than risk losing Minho.

“It can’t be.” You cross your arms stubbornly. “I know so many couples that came here, and they ended up breaking up.”

Minho says nothing for a moment, just pondering your words, and you think he’s about to step back, allowing you to cross the bridge first, before following on his own. But then he grabs your hand, pulling you towards the bridge.

Your immediate reaction is to let out a small scream that cuts through the quiet night, and it’s quickly muffled by Minho’s hand gently closing over your mouth. “Trust me on this. Nothing bad will happen.”

You really want to remind Minho of what happened to Hyunjin and his girlfriend— well, ex-girlfriend— but you let him lead you towards your dreaded destination. Because you do trust him, more than anything.

The balmy summer night sticks to your skin, a feeling that will soon give away to the crisp bite of autumn. You’ve already moved back onto campus to get a headstart on the teaching assistant position for your biology professor, but for the first time ever, you don’t feel sad or apprehensive at the thought of going back to college again. This was the gap in time that you once despised because it signaled the unfortunate trudge of school life: textbooks, homework, and stress. But nowadays, you think it to be a reminder of something better: Minho, Minho, and Minho.

Your boyfriend takes an easy step onto the bridge, his hand tightly clasped in yours. You trail after him more cautiously, hiding behind his broad frame like the bridge will come alive and attack you. “You better not ever break up with me, Lee Minho.”

He turns back to look at you as you both near the center of the supposedly cursed bridge, his lips pressed together in a way that suggests concealed laughter; knowing him, it probably is. “Never. Now close your eyes.”

With a grumpy sigh, you oblige him, shutting your eyes. “For what, Minho?”

“I need to tell you something.” His voice is soft, almost vulnerable. It’s a new color to him, compared to how assured and confident he always seems to be.

You crack open one eye, looking at him curiously. “What is it?”

He frowns, letting go of your hand. “No peeking!”

“Okayy.”

Minho takes a deep breath, right before he turns your world upside down. “I love you.”

Your eyes fly open, and Minho doesn’t complain this time, only gazing at you nervously, clutching his right arm with his left hand like he’s a little kid again. “What did you just say?”

Regardless of his uncertain body language, he looks you directly in the eye. “I love you, Y/N. And I know it’s too soon to say it, but it’s true. I love you, and you don’t have to tell me back, but—”

“I love you too,” you blurt out, and you both just stare at each other for a moment, in mutual shyness and surprise. You can’t believe how good it feels to finally say the words that were hanging off the tip of your tongue for the past few months since you started dating.

Minho’s beautiful face breaks out into a dazzling smile as he steps closer to you. “Then let’s make our own story for this bridge. Two people crossing the bridge together will be lifelong friends. And if they kiss, lifelong lovers.”

Your poor, racing heart can’t take anymore of this; what a man that you have found. “Kiss me, then.”

Minho gives you a tender look, and in that moment, you wish you had a camera to capture it. You can’t seem to remember your initial fear of coming onto this bridge, not when you have a beautiful boy who gazes at you with nothing short of absolute adoration. You’ll follow him anywhere, if it means you’ll stay together. Always and forever.

From when you were a little girl, your parents painted fairy tales for you in your childhood bedroom, of handsome princes mounted on midnight stallions and towering castles set against sunsets. For the longest time, you thought them to be true, because by the time you might have grown up, you found your own handsome prince, who rode a secondhand bike instead of a horse, and his castle was the sweatshirt-strewn dorm room he shared with two other boys. Nevertheless, you so strongly believed you would get your own happily-ever-after, that it took you a long time to accept the thorns in the rosy brush that constituted your outlook on life. You had a hard time understanding your prince, sometimes, and ended up spinning your own stories to fill in the gaps you thought he created. It never once occurred to you that life would never be perfect, and that your prince could not be exactly who you dreamed him to be.

It’s why you stroll the length of Forsaken Bridge alone, materializing its dreary name with your head bent and hands tucked in your pockets. But you’re not surprised either, when you see your prince, standing on the very place where he made you a promise that you broke yourself. His crown is misplaced and his armor has lost its luster, but he’s your beautiful prince, still beautiful while heartbroken over you.

“I didn’t think you’d come,” you say softly.

“I shouldn’t have.” Minho stares at the deteriorating timber planks beneath your feet. “But I can’t say no when it comes to you.”

You shake your head, sniffling lightly. You both hate and love him for being so understanding, so kind, even now. You hate yourself for it, too. “I broke your heart.”

Minho blinks, clasping his hands in front of himself. “There are so many things that I’m sorry and thankful to you for, but you know I’m not good at expressing myself.”

“That’s my line, Min.” You scoff through your tears. “I tried to force you to be someone you're not. And you respond by taking care of me, like you always have. And you listened to me instead of fighting. You walked away.”

“I wanted you to be happy. That’s all I have ever wanted. With or without me in the picture.” Minho shoots you a watery smile. “I love you, you know. I always will.”

You inhale shakily. “And I love you too. I was scared of being hurt because I love you so much. I shouldn’t have been so afraid of what I didn’t know. I should have tried to ask you instead of coming to assumptions on my own.”

“We’re in this together, okay?” Minho steps forward towards you, reaching up to hold your face in his hands. “Remember what I said? You never have to be alone. I’m right here, always.”

Minho rubs his thumbs over your tears, nothing but devotion in his eyes. You touch his arms, pulling him into a hug. “I know I ruined everything, but please come back to me? I’m so, so sorry.”

“Me too. And you ruined nothing.” He squeezes you. “We still have our whole lives ahead of us.”

You draw back from the embrace, smiling through your tears— for once, they’re the good kind. “I love you, Lee Minho. Let’s start over?”

“I love you too, Y/N.” Minho whispers, a grin slowly spreading on his face. “And I don’t want to ruin the moment, but can we begin by finding an apartment, please? If I accidentally drink Hyunjin’s paint water one more time I think I will literally die.”

You laugh, raising your eyebrows at him teasingly. “Only because you want to escape Hyunjin? Not because you love me?”

He rolls his eyes playfully, a light blush tinting his pale skin. “You know what I mean.”

“You should show me what you mean.”

“I should.”

Minho obeys your command, leaning down to meet your lips in a chaste kiss, before you grasp his waist, pulling him closer and deepening the movement. God, you missed this so much. You missed him, so much. Minho’s hands reach up to cup your neck as you trace endless love letters on each other’s lips, campus curses and bad faith banished from your lovestruck young minds.

“See? Looks like our story came true.” he whispers as you come up for air, nudging your nose sweetly with his own. “Lifelong lovers, we’ll be.”

“Promise?”

“I promise.” Minho kisses you once more and pulls back, tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear. “This means forever.”

Check out the rest of boys' stories on Love Playlist!

«GENERAL M.LIST» · «NAVIGATION» · «TALK TO ME»

AUTHOR'S NOTE

It feels so good to get back to Love Playlist <3 This whole series itself was inspired by the cute, college au vibes of the K-drama Love Playlist and its spinoff, Dear M. (starring NCT's Jaehyun, a must-see), but this story especially was heavily based on Dear M.'s second leads. Brownie points if you've noticed which hit superhero TV series I took a piece of dialogue from! I just adore that quote so much. Anyway, I'm a sucker for Minho and this story has a special place in my heart. Can you guess who is next?! And thank you for supporting me, always! -Dreamy

P.S. ♡ If you like my work, please consider giving me feedback in the form of reblogs, comments, and asks! ♡

TAGLIST @chansburgah @hamburgers101@ajxreads @hash2013 @pixigreen @ana-marais98@ohish@chizumiyoshi@lilydaisyyy@jetblackbelle @143hyunes @yeahhspider

Network: @kflixnet

©jisungsdaydreamer 2023 | All rights reserved. I do not condone translations or transfers of my work onto other platforms such as Wattpad, AO3, etc. Tumblr is my only platform. Acts of plagiarism are strictly prohibited.

402 notes · View notes