#big plans for shit to kick off in future though

[cheesus-doodles]

BFF Rindou’s the kind of person that, if someone asks if he’s dating reader, will be like “Of course not. Why tf would I date that loser? I have standards.” On the other hand if someone thinks reader is dating Kakucho, Izana, or god forbid RAN he gets super defensive like “Why the HELL would they date him? They barely even know each other. I know everything about them. If they’re gonna date anyone it’s gonna be me.”

Previous Yan BFF Rindo Ask | Rindo's Valentine Day Short

Masterlist

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Oh no ABSOLUTELY 100%, this will be such a shitshow

I would think that this baby boy has definitely considered it - dating you that is, but from a more logical point of view. You were so helpless in his eyes that he was sure you would get yourself killed, kidnapped or worse, coerced into dating some guy, that the only way to plug the gaps from the start would be just to date you. But Rindo first off, is a delinquent, one of the feared Haitani brothers, and obviously he has a reputation to keep up. And second, he's supposed to play the part of your grumpy, reluctant bestfriend who was just being dragged along by your silliness, scolding you when you do something he doesn't like or approve of. You were supposed to seem more like his playful puppy that him, as a big bad delinquent, looks after begrudgingly. He can't be caught dating you, you know? That would totally ruin his reputation. Even if everyone knows just how soft Rindo acts towards you, though no one says a thing because he will find them and beat the shit out of them.

Even still, no doubt that somewhere down the line, seeing how close you are with your bff, someone somewhere would have the balls to ask Rindo if the two of you were dating, or if he was planning to date you at some point in the future. Seems like an innocent enough question if it came from anyone else: but the highest likelihood is that Rindo would be hearing it from Ran of all people. And his face would immediately turn red, but with anger or embarrassment not even the older Haitani could tell. Embarrassment at being called out, anger at the mere idea that others thought he saw you like that. Whoever it was that asked that unfortunate question, Rindo would be sure to try his best to shut them up before they tipped you off. No way he was going to date a loser like you, was he? Not in his wildest dreams, absolutely not. Deny, deny, deny. Proceeds to go and get his regular dose of cuddles from you afterwards when he inevitably loses to Ran.

On the other hand, this baby boy will not happy in the slightest if he hears even a rumor that you might be dating anyone. Absolutely not, no way in hell were you dating anyone. Rindo doesn't understand why you had to find someone else to be with; you already had him, your bestfriend, after all. No one else was needed in your life. If it was just some random soul that took a liking to you, and you to him, no doubt that Rindo would be quick to put him out of your life permanently and painfully. A brick to the back of the head and then breaking each and every limb is usually a good start - and if that poor person had the audacity to foul your innocence by holding your hand, this baby boy didn’t know if he would be able to stop himself from killing them outright. But at least if you went after a normal civilian, Rindo could deal with it.

But if you were dating Izana or Kakucho, there was nothing he could do but be mad pissed. There was only so many times he could stand to get his ass kicked after all. Would try his best to convince you that this was a mistake behind their backs, that dating someone as dangerous and unstable as them (cough the irony) was bad for you. That only he knew everything about you. Would he actually ask you to date him instead? Depends really. Did he feel shy and embarrassed? Yes. Did he like you that way? Who’s asking? But was he sure that he was the best for you? Yes. 100% yes. So no, Rindo will not ask you to date him, but he will stew and pout and try to take up every second of your time that he possibly can to get you away from your “boyfriends” (he doesn’t believe they are anything more than ants, if you asked him, but he wouldn’t dare say that in front of those two demons).

And it'll be absolutely the apocalypse if its Ran of all people that Rindo thinks you're dating. Would actually march you straight to where Ran was and start a fight with the older Haitani, cursing and swearing at Ran that he knew you were off limits. That Ran knew he wasn’t supposed to touch you, that you belonged to him, all the while you were sat at the side, humming to yourself and maybe sipping on a cold drink. Would be even angry enough to move out from their shared apartment for a few days and take you with him, much to his older brother's amusement. Takes his frustration out on some poor souls from a rival gang because he can’t beat his older brother, and he’ll have to go back and stay there, no matter how much he wanted to just move in with you. Rindo would even continue to grumble to the unfortunate victims of his brutal beatings, whining and complaining to his captive audience about how it was so obvious that he was the best for you, and that you should date only him.

Everyone knows Rindo wouldn’t do that though, so he just has to suffer through watching you be shy and blush. Poor baby boy.

[ashtheketchum]

Would you be willing to write a scenario for A New Family where Daryl and Y/N have a baby together, D/N becoming a big sister? Maybe the baby is a boy? D/N would definitely have questions about where babies come from😂

A new family member

Daryl Dixon X fem.Reader

A/N: I hope you like this idea and how I implemented it! It's an incredibly cute idea! I can´t-! Thank you for your request!

Era: Alexandria (S5)

Summary: Daryl and (Y/N) are expecting a child and (Y/N) gives birth in Alexandria. The whole group is happy for the couple, but (D/N) is confused and a new question is on the tip of her tongue.

Warnings: Fluff, a little angst, mention of sex, mention of childbirth, Daryl is maybe a little bit ooc

Words: 2.4k

Masterlist!

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PoV (Y/N):

It was a terrible time. After that whole Terminus shit our group was badly beaten and we didn't know where to go. We ran out of food and hardly had anything to drink. And what didn't make things any better was the fact that I was pregnant. I was in my last months and it was getting harder and harder to keep up with the others. Daryl and (D/N) always stayed close to me and supported me. Sometimes it really took me emotionally to see how quickly she had grown and now she was going to be a big sister. But unlike her, her little sibling will grow up without violence from her father.

Daryl and I had planned it, of course, and after a lot of talking and planning we decided to have a child together. The embarrassing part was that we had to discuss everything with Rick and prepare everything. We had been given a private room, but Rick wanted to put guards outside the door. Luckily Daryl had said something against it, so we had peace and quiet. Daryl had also taken good care of me during the pregnancy.

(D/N), on the other hand, was always way too curious. She kept staring at my belly and I noticed that she had asked Michonne or Carol where the children came from. But both of them had repeatedly waved her off by saying that she should ask me and Daryl. Of course, Daryl noticed this too and he mentally prepared himself to have to answer the question.

At Terminus everything just got more stressful, the fear of being eaten by living people was frightening and I was incredibly afraid of losing (D/N). Carol came to save us just in time, but I had barely felt a kick from the baby since then. But now, whenever I ate something small, it would kick slightly, which made me sigh with relief every time.

After not even too long, Aaron found us and brought us to Alexandria. It was all set up so beautifully and safely that it felt like a dream at first. But when I was told that I could be taken to the infirmary, I pinched myself. And no, it was all real.

Daryl and (D/N) accompanied me to the doctor in this small town and everything was checked out. The baby was okay and would probably be born soon. I was suggested to stay at the infirmary until the baby came. Daryl was against it at first, but after I agreed, he remained silent and looked at everyone threateningly. (D/N) was also against it at first, but she didn't speak up either. She knew she didn't have a say in this case. So the two of them went to our new house that same evening to prepare everything there.

PoV Daryl:

We had prepared everything in the new house where we were going to live for a while. Everything was ready and some were already ready to rest. But even though everything was so full, I felt something empty inside me. It pissed me off. I love (Y/N), (D/N) and also our future child, but somehow it annoys me that I've become so soft with them. But I didn't want to change it, I was happy and nothing would change that. "Daryl?" I suddenly heard someone. I looked at (D/N). Her hair has grown and she has grown too. She looks more and more like her mother and she was just as strong as (Y/N). "Wha' is it, lil' brat?" I asked her.

She lets out a quiet sigh before she sits down on her sleeping bag. Between mine and (D/N)'s sleeping bag is actually always (Y/N)'s. Well, I put her sleeping bag between ours anyway, but her sleeping bag was empty and cold. "I have a question…" I had to swallow hard, the fear building up inside me again. Fuck, I hadn't thought up a lie yet. Should I tell her the truth? But she's not even 13 years old. I nod nervously at her before I sit down next to her. "Wha' is it…?" I asked, even though I already knew what it was about. (D/N) looked me seriously in the eyes before she sat down straight. "Where do children come from? How do you make children? How did you and Mom manage to get another child in her? And why does it have to be inside her before it can come out? Where does it come out from?"

She had so many questions, my head even started to spin slightly. Behind me I could hear Carol giggling, which made me look at her pissed off for a moment. But she just turned away innocently and then continued talking to Tara. Hissing, I then turned back to (D/N), who looked at me with determined eyes. Why was she so interested in knowing something like that? I'll probably never know. "Well… uh… ya know… ya have a cun-!" Before I could finish my sentence, Rick walked past me just behind me and he pulled my hair hard.

I growled as I watched him go, but he just gave me a pleading look. As if he knew I was about to tell (D/N) the truth. So I sighed quietly before turning back to (D/N). Her expression hadn't changed at all. "Well… uh…" I tried again, but this time with a lie. Even though I didn't like lying to her. "Yar motha and I… we love each other so hard that… aliens put a child in her stomach." Everyone around us went quiet and I could feel the confused and amused looks on me. "Aliens?" She asked again. "Yeh… aliens…" I mentally beat myself up, I had never said anything so stupid before. “I don’t think that aliens are real, Daryl…” “Have ya seen the dead people here?” Now (D/N) looked at me confused before looking at Carl. "Alright… cool… I guess…?" She just mumbled quietly.

Her (E/C) eyes just looked at me suspiciously. I was incredibly uncomfortable and my ears turned red. I quickly looked down so she couldn't see my expression. "And… how will the kid get out…?" My whole body tensed when (D/N) asked that. Little beads of sweat formed on my forehead and I had to swallow hard. What the hell was my problem? I could fight walkers, I could fight people, even kill them. And now I have damn problems explaining to a child what sex is for and how to have children? "W-well… Ask yar motha! I'm not the woman!" I then said, overwhelmed.

With quick movements I grabbed my crossbow and walked out of the house. My heart was still pounding wildly against my chest, but the fresh air felt very good and I calmed down a bit.

PoV (Y/N):

I lay awake in the hospital bed and let my hand slide over my baby's belly. Although I was tired, I just couldn't fall asleep. Too many thoughts were going through my head and I missed Daryl and (D/N). Actually, it was completely idiotic to miss them both, they only sleep a few houses away from me. "How should I name you…?" I then murmured quietly. I looked at my belly and the baby stepped right under my palm. Smiling, I kissed my fingertips gently before rubbing them on my belly. "Maybe DJ, if it's a boy…" I had to giggle at that thought. But my smile disappeared immediately when I heard a loud crack. My gaze went to the window, which was slightly open, only the curtains obscured the view into the room. Out of reflex, I reached next to me, where my knife usually lies, but it wasn't with me. Annoyed, I hissed quietly before holding my breath and staying as quiet as possible.

Swallowing hard, I saw a broad figure approach the window and gently push the curtains aside. "If you come in here, I'll call my husband. He'll bust your ass!" I shouted and the movements stopped for a moment. But after just a few seconds the curtain was pushed aside and Daryl looked at me, slightly confused but also a little embarrassed. I breathed a sigh of relief, but a certain shame also spread across my cheeks. "Yar husband? Since when are we married?" He asked amused.

I looked away from him, sulking, as the archer quietly climbed into the room. With quick but quiet steps he moved towards my bed and sat down next to me. He briefly kissed my baby belly before giving my forehead a kiss. "I messed up…" "Nah… you're doing great with all this…" Daryl just shook his head and I saw his cheeks turn bright red. Amused but also confused, I looked at him closely. "Daryl? What have you done?" "Nothin'… jus'… well…" He hesitated and then looked away, at my belly.

I slowly sat up and kissed him gently. “It’s okay… I won’t be mad, I promise…” “… I told (D/N) tha’ aliens put a baby in yar body…” My eyebrows shoot up and I look at Daryl in disbelief. As if I didn't believe that he really did that, but he didn't lie to me. In the whole time we were together, he had never lied to me. "You did what?" "I can explain…" We remained silent for a moment, my waiting gaze remaining on him. "… 'kay… I can't explain…" He then murmured quietly.

Sighing, I put my hands on my stomach before shaking my head slightly. "Okay… I-'m sure, we can handle this after the bi-!" Before I could finish my sentence, I was suddenly struck by a strong pain. My legs became wet and damp and my breath came out in jerks. In a panic, I reached into the bed frame and lay flat on the bed. Daryl saw me panicking, his hands at my sides. "G-go and get the doc!" I then shouted loudly. I clenched my jaw tightly while Daryl just nodded and then went out to get the doc. Breathing heavily, I squeezed my eyes shut so I could concentrate on the pain.

PoV Daryl:

As quickly as I could, I pulled the doc into the room, away from (Y/N), who was screaming louder and moaning in pain. The doc rubbed his eyes briefly before looking at (Y/N) with wide eyes. He immediately went next to her and pulled his tools towards him. "Daryl, wait outside." "Nah, fuck off, doc!" I shouted at the doc, but he just gave me a stern look while his hands spread (Y/N)'s legs. I looked at it uncertainly for a moment before I growled loudly and left the room. I closed the door only slightly so that I could at least hear everything.

While I listened to the doc talking to (Y/N) and (Y/N) always screaming loudly, my face sometimes twisted. I felt sorry that I could only listen, but why the hell wasn't I allowed in?

"What's happening here!?" I heard someone shout. I looked at the entrance door where (D/N) was standing. She looked at me in shock, but when she heard her mother, her eyes widened and she tried to go into the room. But I wrapped my arms tightly around her. "Stay here, damn kid!" I admonished her. But (D/N) hit my chest hard, hoping that I would let her go. But I didn't. "Daryl, let me go! Mom needs me!" "Nah! The doc is with her…"

She didn't listen to me, but kept trying to walk past me. God, she got her mother's stubbornness too. After several minutes, the screaming stopped and my whole body tensed. (D/N) also stopped when she no longer heard her mother and tears formed in her eyes. "Dary…" She spoke quietly to me, her voice very weak. I heard the doc walking around the room before he opened the door and looked at me. He just looked at me silently, his cold eyes boring deep into mine. "Mom!" (D/N) screamed and pulled herself from my arms.

Before I could even react, she was already next to (Y/N), who was lying in bed, breathing heavily. The baby was in her arms. Our baby. I stayed quiet for a moment before I walked past the doctor and went to (Y/N) and (D/N). I immediately sat down on the bed next to (Y/N). The baby was crying loudly and only had a thin blanket wrapped around its lower body. The umbilical cord was still on its belly button. Rick had told me about it, but somehow it still seemed so surreal and disgusting. "It's a boy by the way." I just heard the doctor say. Maybe I had misheard, but his voice sounded tired and annoyed, which is why I glared at him briefly. But my attention immediately went to (Y/N) and our son.

"Ya don´t really have a name for him, righ´?" I asked as I threw away the severed umbilical cord and then gave her a kiss. (D/N) had now calmed down again and she looked at her little brother admiringly. "Well… at first I thought about DJ… you know, because Daryl Jr…." I had to suppress a smile, but then I nodded slightly. “Wha not?” My question made (Y/N) look up at me, (D/N) took her brother in her arms and tried to calm him down. "What do you mean…?" "Wha shouldn´t we name him DJ?" "B-because well… I… don´t know…" She looks down at her hands and plays with them. I quickly put my hand on hers and kissed (Y/N) lovingly. "We´ll name him DJ…" I then murmured softly against her lips.

(Y/N) smiled lovingly at me before nodding and then looking at (D/N). "You are an alien baby, do you know that?" She whispered to her brother. Swallowing hard, I stared at the girl while I felt (Y/N)'s pissed off look on me. Maybe I should have just been honest with her.

[romanscool]

Im curious on your take for Maxiel with kiss prompt 47!

#47: a kiss because time's run out - maxiel

hi anon! thanks so very much for this prompt, this has made my need for writing angst less intense, so I hope this little thing is what you had in mind!

enjoy,,,

->

« I’m leaving, Max. » 

Daniel says it, slow and hesitant, but also so, so happy, somehow. And fuck, Max was expecting it. He has been. Since the beginning of the season, since the words ‘my contract is out at the end of year’ left Daniel’s mouth. He’s been expecting it as Daniel invited Max more to his flat to play FIFA even though he hates it, and even more when sometimes Daniel would intentionally change players ‘accidentally’ and lose at the game. When he’d kick the ball too far off the left and into the public. 

Max has been expecting it since the season started. 

He hadn’t known if Daniel was stupid enough to actually do it, but. Apparently he is.

The room is all purple around them. It’s shining a soft glow on Daniel’s face. Cold. Daniel shifts from his left foot to the right, wiggling his ankle in the same nervous motions he always does when something is out of his control. Before races, important meeting, calls with a sponsor. Before he tells Max he’s going to leave him, too, now. Max will have to know Daniel is as anxious to announce that he’s leaving Max than he is starting from pole at Monaco. He’ll have to live with that and keep on living like it’s not pulling at his heart. « I’m going to Renault. »

« What? » is the only thong that Max can blurt out because it’s really the only thing he can think right now. This and that Daniel is in fact, very, very, very stupid. Stupidly stupid, one might say. « What the f-, »

« They’re giving me a shit ton of money Max, » Daniel adds, hands flying in front of him, « like, a shit ton. Enough to drive a man crazy. » 

And Daniel kind of looks crazy, at least to Max, eyes big, big, big and as round as the beads that made a bracelet Max had once given to his mother for a holiday he doesn’t remember now, big, round, and glossy. Dark brown with a side of fucking stupid.

« That is not very smart, Daniel. » Max is trying to sound very calm, he’s trying not to pour everything he’s been wanting to pour since he first saw Daniel’s finger twitch on the controller and the animated guy on the TV throw the ball way outside the cages, « Renault is not a very smart move, Daniel. » Daniel, Daniel, Daniel. Why are you doing this, Daniel? Why are you being so very stupid Daniel? 

Do you really think so very little of me, Daniel?

Daniel frowns. He still has that mad-man smile hanging on his lips, so very plastered it almost looks fake. It certainly does to Max, but he’s never been good at reading people. His feeling get in the way too often. « No, no they’ve got that-, they’ve got good plans. For like, the near future. Damn it, Max-, » Daniel is walking closer now, so close Max could touch him if he wanted to. Max wants to, but he doesn’t. « they could be competitive in a few years. Like, they have a good chance at winning the championship if they keep up the promises. »

Ah, promises. 

Max remembers those. The one Daniel had told him on a random Tuesday night after he’d kissed Max for the first time. The one that said nothing could ever get in the way of them. Max should have seen it, then, too, the twitch in Daniel’s hand that hinted a lie. The same one that has his little player do stupid shit on the screen. Max has this weird thought that Daniel has been replaced with that little player and that it isn’t really Daniel in front of him. That it’s just a stupid football player from a stupid football team no one except Daniel likes. Daniel always seems to like the losers.

It seems that hasn’t changed. 

Everything else has thought. Promises have been broken. At least one. « You really believe that? » Max asks, and also expects the answer when Daniel gives him a-

« Yeah, Max, I do. I really fucking do. » 

Max thinks for a moment that it is easier to believe promises like these with a really big check to back them up. But, really, he doesn’t get a say on this. He’s got the same kind of check on his own contract. Daniel probably has one similar, one with the navy blue and red logo on the top instead of a stupid looking bee-like diamond. The one that he chose not to sign. 

It feels a bit like an ending. Daniel is smiling. Max is not. He’s trying to find the smallest hint of fucking joke in Daniel’s eyes, and usually it’s there, but now it’s not, Daniel is deadly serious, and so, so very stupid, but. He’s made a decision. He’s leaving Max and Max can’t do shit about it. He’s going to have to live with that ankle wiggle and that deep, deep hatred for late FIFA nights that involve finger twitches and kisses that are made under promises, he’s going to have to live with that, and eat out of a cereal bowl Daniel has eaten in, and sleep in a bed he and Daniel have had sex in, one in which they have sweat and slept, one in which no three words have ever been said. The ones that couldn’t be out in the open except when whispered in between two clammy and panty exhausted breath. 

Because this is the end. Max knows it. Daniel probably does too, and yet he’s still smiling. « Good, then. » Max says, even though none of this is good, and he doesn’t want to know what’s going to happen, but he’s pretty sure it’s going to involve his voice cracking and his eyes letting tears out, so he accidentally brushes Daniel’s waist as he brings his hand up to his face, and Daniel giggles, probably ticklish, and Max kisses him. This is most likely the last time he’s going to be able to do that. Because time’s run out.

Their time has run out. Daniel is leaving. He’s leaving, and Max is heaving, and he takes Daniel’s hand in his other one and leads them to his badly lit bedroom just to make time stretch a little longer. 

don't hesitate to ask for more (kiss or non kiss related) prompts!! I welcome them with very open arms <3

[livingasaghost]

okay i probably should not go down this rabbit hole but i think i deserve to do some andreil proposal/wedding headcanon because who cares!!

this is going to be inspired by these three posts because i cannot stop thinking about them

also the usual disclaimer: if this is bad or goes against your own personal headcanon....so be it<3

when andrew finally accepts that this is a THIS, he and neil do not talk about The Future

both of them know how quickly things can change and how you can't plan for anything in life because shit happens and life isn't fair and people always hurt you...so they just keep living in the present

but after a while it kind of becomes clear that neither one of them is going anywhere, even though neither of them actually believes it

more than that, they keep running into problems

like when neil plays a game for Court and ends up getting crunched against the wall and has to go to the ER and andrew has no idea where they took him because he wasn't fast enough to follow him and then when he finally gets to the hospital no one will let him back there and then when he almost attacks a nurse, kevin finally intervenes and lays on the charm to get the two of them back there to see him

and when they finally get in the room, neil is knocked the fuck out and that's when andrew decides that yeah fuck that we can't keep doing this

he doesn't tell neil he's decided this because neil will probably argue or try to run or come up with a bunch of excuses or worse he'll say yes

andrew asks renee for advice, and she doesn't make a big deal out of it because she knows that's the best way to get andrew to not want to do anything

so she decides to be casual

and by casual she actually just tells andrew that she had a conversation with katelyn that sounded like she and aaron were maybe thinking about getting engaged soon

andrew picks up his phone, intending to ask neil right there, but renee stops him and forces him to reconsider this proposal to at least do it in person

even so, there isn't a lot of fanfare

neil can sense something is off immediately when andrew walks in the door but he doesn't push him because he knows that's not the best way to get anything out of andrew

andrew won't look at him at all, doesn't say a word, just sits down next to him on the couch

neil: "drew?"

andrew:

neil:

andrew: "i don't want to wait for kevin to get me to you"

neil doesn't really know what he's even talking about, so he just kind of stares at him, waiting

andrew, actively staring at the wall: "this is not going to be some kind of fairytale shit and i refuse to get down on one fucking knee so yes or no?"

neil, finally having his lightbulb moment: "don't ask stupid questions"

andrew rolls his eyes because of course he'd get stuck with this one: "yes or no, junkie"

neil: "i already told you. it's always yes with you."

andrew: "this is different"

neil: "not the way i see it"

andrew: "this means no running away"

neil: "i stopped running a long time ago"

andrew really is going to kill this guy one day

they don't discuss real details until a few days later when neil asks if they have to have a "real" wedding or if they can just go to a courthouse and getting the papers signed

andrew was under the impression that that WAS a real wedding and thus it was the only thing they would be doing regardless

the two of them settle on a date — only a few days out because hey, might as well just get it done because "who knows the next time some fuckface is gonna kick your ass and land you in the hospital"

at first they decide they aren't going to tell anybody, but then renee asks andrew if he ever actually talked to neil and so she becomes the only person to know about this weird wedding thing

she keeps trying to convince them to tell everybody else, but that does not go over well

neil decides it's probably best if he dresses kind of nice for his wedding (even though he's a thousand percent certain that andrew is just gonna show up in his usual attire) and since he doesn't want to tell nicky what's going on (for everyone's sake), he calls wymack instead thinking he can just vaguely ask a few questions and wymack'll stay out of his business

wymack: "somebody better be dead for you to be calling me this late"

neil: "what are you supposed to wear to a wedding?"

wymack: "who the hell is getting married?"

neil: "me"

wymack: "are you fucking with me?"

neil: "andrew is sick of asking kevin to get him into my hospital rooms"

wymack: "maybe if you stopped going to the fucking hospital—"

even though neil didn't think he needed wymack there, he unexpectedly asks if coach'll be his best man.....and even though wymack is so sick of these idiot kids shortening his life-span, he can't help but say yes

so that is how the four of them end up at the courthouse, waiting for the judge to make it all official

that is, until andrew gets a phone call

neil doesn't see who it is when he picks up, he just watches andrew as he answers straightfaced

andrew: "we're at the courthouse....getting married.......coach is here.....no."

the others look at each other, but andrew keeps staring at the wall ahead of him

neil nudges his knee: "who was that?"

andrew: "nicky"

[imaginesforeveryone]

Arranged (Part 4)

Pairing: Finn Shelby x Y/N Warning: hangover, fluff Summary: You were the youngest child of you fathers, being part of a mob family in the heart of New York, your family had many enemies in the city, and even further away, and your life was about to change after a Peaky Boy barged into your life.

“Fuuuuuckkkkk.” You groaned out as you opened your eyes the next morning with your head still on Finn’s chest. You rolled over and held you head in your hands. 

“You okay love?” You heard a deep groggy voice say. 

“My head.” You said sighing out. 

“Look on your bed side.” He said as he flipped onto his side to look at you. You looked over and there was some tablets and water. 

“Your the best.” You said to him and grabbed them off the table and took them quickly. You laid back on your back and closed your eyes. 

“So what are the plans today?” You asked. 

“Well, I was thinking I’d show you around the city a bit. Go to the Garrison, which Tommy owns. Meet some new people. Then we can go back to my house and get you all set up.” He said placing his hand softly on your forehead. 

“Sounds good to me. I’d just like to get the alcohol out of my system first and not feel like shit. How bad was I?” You asked not ready to hear how big of an ass you made yourself look like. 

“Not too bad. You were pretty mad at me because I wasn’t around you. You caused some good laughs but nothing near the shit that normally goes on here.” He said rubbing your head softly now. 

“Here. I’ll run you a bath and you can get ready for our day, then come downstairs and have breakfast wit everyone.” He said getting up from the bed only in his boxers. He pulled his pants on and walked to the bathroom. You stood wrapping the sheet around your body to keep somewhat warm and went to the bathroom. 

“Come on. It nice and warm.” He said motioning you over. You dropped the sheet, exposing your completely naked body now to him. Trying to cover up slightly, feeling somewhat uncomfortable. 

“I’ll let you know right now, your body is beautiful, I saw you naked last night, and you never have to hide from me.” He said standing and looking over at you. You smiled and walked over to the bath he stood in front and got in. The bubbles he put in covering you completely. The water was so warm on your skin, and relaxed all the muscles in your body. 

“Are you excited to see England today?” Finn asked kneeling beside the bath tub and putting his arms on the edge of it. 

“I am. I’ve never left New York. So, I’m excited to see new things.” You said looking at him. He smiled at you and put his arm over and put his finger tips into the warm water you laid in. He looked down at the water as he caught bubbles in his hands and just kind of looked like he was thinking hard. 

“Hey.” You said putting your finger up to his chin to lift it up to look at you. 

“Everything okay?” You asked looking into his eyes. 

“Oh yeah. Just thinking.” He said with a small grin. 

“About?” You asked trying to understand him. 

“Just thinking about my future. What will become of you and I. What you want from me. If you really want to be in this marriage. I’ve seen how arranged marriages go and most of the time, the couple ends up hating each other.” He spoke up explaining his thoughts to you. 

“Well, it is only day 4 of being married, so I can only tell you what I think at this moment. Right now, I think I would very much like a future with you. Do I think we will get along all the time? No, of course not. You have Shelby blood flooding your veins, I know there is anger in there somewhere. I have Italian blood, Gotti blood to be exact, running though my blood. But, I could see us having a beautiful family, kicking ass, and growing old together.” You said explaining what you thought. He smiled and kissed your forehead softly. 

“Well, I’m happy you feel that way. Now go ahead, clean up and I’ll see you downstairs.” He said standing and walking out. You smiled at yourself. He was a good man, he may not do some not so good things, but the people he loves, they know he loves them. That’s all you ask for. To know you were loved, and safe. You finished up your bath and got out, wrapped your self in the robe that hung on the back of the door. You walked out drying your hair with a small towel. You opened your suit case that laid on the ground on your side of the bed. You grabbed out the pinstripe blazer, with a black button up shirt, and leather pants. Also, grabbing your fedora, and black heeled boots. You slipped into all your clothes and looking at yourself in the mirror before stepping out of the room. You made your way down the stairs and heard the talking coming from a few rooms over. You made your way to that room and entered it.

“There she is!!” Arthur yelled. You smiled at everyone, scanning the room to find Finn, and finally your eyes landed on him on the other side of the table with an open seat next to him. You began to round the table. 

“You need to give me the name of whoever makes that suit. I need it.” Polly said as you passed her. 

“I’ll have one specially tailored for you from New York.” You told her with a smile and made it to Finn. You sat next to him and pushed your chair in. 

“You look amazing.” He whispered to you. You smiled at him giving him a thankful look. 

“Alright, so Item one, Welcome to the family officially Y/N. Hope you wont get to annoyed with all of us.” Tommy said standing from his seat and clanking a knife on his glass. Everyone cheered and hooted. 

“Item two, now with Y/N in the family, we have made amends with the Gotti family, which means we’ve made amends with pretty much all of New York. So we can began our move into America. We may have some trouble with Jack Nelson again, but with the Gotti family, and our men there now. We shouldn’t have too much trouble.” Tommy went on to the next topic. Thinking to yourself that you married Finn, for the business, but looking over at Finn and thinking even if it was just a business transaction you might actually have feelings for this man. Everyone ate and talked over their breakfast for about an hour longer. 

“alright well I’m sure everyone has their own things going on today, so everyone have a nice day. Finn & Y/N have fun around the cities, but Finn remember to be careful.” Tommy said before everyone broke away from the table. You stood along with everyone else. 

“Alright you ready?” Finn asked as you both stood. 

“Yes.” You said with a smile and followed him out of the house and to the Bentley that sat out front for the two of you. You got in and Finn rounded the car to get in and drive off. 

It was an amazing day with your husband. You drove around London met some Peaky boys that you’d be seeing around a lot. You danced, ate, sat and watched people walking around town, learned more and more about each other. You two were back in the car and on your way to Small Heath for the last stop of the night. You pulled up to the Garrison where it seemed like the place was packed.

“Here we are, where everything started.” Finn said before getting out of the car and coming to open your door. You took his hand and stepped out lightly. 

“Wow. This place seems popular.” You said with a smile. 

“Well it is run and owned by the men who own and run this city, so they know where the best stuff is. Come on in, have a few more people for you to meet.” He said leading you into the Garrison. It was covered in gold and beautiful lights hang from ceiling. 

“Wow, this place is beautiful.” You said looking around. 

“Yeah, had somewhat of an upgrade after it got blown up.” Finn said. You looked at him with wide eyes.

“Business.” Was all he said and you understood. 

“Finn!!!” You heard a tall, blue eyed, black man say from a booth on the other side of the pub. 

“Y/n, I’d like you to meet Isaiah. One of my best mates, and one of the Peaky Blinders.” Finn said as you met with Isaiah. 

“Well fuck Finn, look at you, finally got yourself a pretty one. No more slags for this guy, ey?” Isaiah said laughing and putting Finn in a headlock. 

“Very nice to meet you Y/N.” He said holding his hand out for you to place it in his and he kissed the top of it. 

“Nice to meet you to Isaiah.” You said with a smile. 

“Y/N!” You heard your name called from behind you. You turned to see Polly stood at the bar waving you over.

“I’m going to go get a drink.” You said before walking away from the two men. 

“Hey Pol.” You said meeting her and sitting st one of the hightop seats at the bar next to her.

“So, how was your time being introduced to the city?” She asked lighting a cigarette and motioning it to you. You took it and took a drag off of it. 

“It was very nice. I think I’ll like it here.” You said with a smile. 

“Hey! can we get a whiskey over here for the women?” Polly yelled at the bartender. The bartender hurrying to get that whiskey for you. You took a sip and relaxed a bit more. 

You and Polly sat and talked for what felt like hours. Getting to know more and more about the family. 

“Scuse. miss.” You heard a man say from behind you and brush your hip with his hand. 

“Mrs. and you can back up.” You said turning to the man who wanted to get severely close to you. 

“Sorry. Mrs. But you are beautiful, and I don’t see your Mr. next to you. So I’m sure it’ll be okay if I just.” He said as he began to move his hand towards you waist again. Pulling out the knife from your boot, standing up, flicking it open and pushing it to his throat causing him to push back up against the bar. 

“You didn’t let me finish. Mrs. Shelby it is.” You said and his eyes widened as you felt a presence behind you knowing it was Finn and Isaiah. Polly just sat and watched you, studied your movements. 

“I suggest you don’t come back here.” You said backing up and he stood straight up. 

“Fucking, Peaky Blinders.” He said as he ran out of the building. You turned to look at Finn. 

“Well. Didn’t think you had that in ya.” Finn said grabbing ahold of your hips and pulling you into him. 

“I think there’s a lot you may not know about me Finn. But you will learn as time goes on. But for now, let’s dance!” You said pushing him to the middle of the room where everyone danced and joining in. 

You and Finn danced through the night, drinking, laughing, even kissing every once in awhile. It rounded just about morning time when you and Finn sat in a booth just talking and realized there were people passed out in other booths and even on the floor.

“Well shit, we should probably get home. Get you acquainted with the house, and get some sleep.” He said standing up sliding out of the booth. You followed behind him, and to the front door. You walked out, it wasn’t sunrise yet, just before the sunrise where it was light out, but no sun appeared. You got into the car and Finn drove about 20 minutes away from the Garrison. Pulling up to a house secluded with trees around it, and a big farm. The house wasn’t as big as Tommy’s, but still big and just enough room. 

“This is beautiful Finn.” You said looking around the property. 

“Yeah. It not huge, but I don’t need huge. Just need enough room for the horses, and somewhere I’m able to get away from all the craziness.” He said as pulled into the driveway. 

“Its perfect.” You said smiling and becoming more happy to be here by just seeing where you’d live. You got out of the car and met around it to Finn who wrapped his arm round your shoulder and walked with you to the home.

“Welcome home, Love.”

[leclerced]

angst in the carhop AU ?

the pressure from race wins and WDC points gets to lando and oscar and they break up mid season , how does reader cope with this/ work around it esp with lando and oscar living in texas and her living with them ? is she responsible for them getting back tg or do their trainers and friends get in on it ? maybe lan is visiting one day and she misses calls from oscar and he shows up but lando is there and he gets jealous?

-🪼🪼🪼

omg breaking up with each other and not her... how do they do it? mclaren drivers fighting each other for the championship? multi 21 moment? where are they when they do it? how do they tell her? do they ask her to pick one or do they know they're just going to have to work out something so they can both keep seeing her? what does it mean for their future? so many thoughts...

lets talk living situation since you said they live together. they're rich enough to have multiple properties and it's good for investment reasons and shit. monaco is a tax shelter and because irl he lives there, i think lando would maintain residency there rather than legally move to america because of that. oscar would probably keep his place in the uk bc irl he hasn't moved anywhere that i know of. so post break-up, they'd both go back to their old places when the other is at the home in texas. they're not home very often anyways so it's not the biggest change. (does any of that make sense?) she does her best to spend equal time with each of them like switching who she talks to on the phone every night and who comes over on non race weekends.

i think at first, she wouldn't meddle. they're together constantly so they can talk and work things out on their own when they're ready. she believes they'll work it out on their own. she would want to, especially during nights where she's listening to one of them rant about the other. sometimes they're angry over a race result, that the other got an upgrade and they have to wait, etc. and she's pretty sure they're going to run each other off track the next time they race. other times, they're just sad and apologetic, and that's when she has hope they'll make up with each other.

she thinks about trying to trap them, make plans with both of them to come home so they have to sit and listen to her. but she's scared that'd piss one or both off, and that's the last thing she wants. there's just too much tension during the season for anything to be resolved. they'd interact when needed for work, interviews, and promo, but keep the interactions limited. they try to talk but they're both still angry about a lot of things, so they're just running in circles until they give up again.

then, winter break rolls around. lando has all these big plans to go skiing and mountaineering with his friends and invites reader but she can't suddenly take weeks off work without notice. she gets a couple of days off around the holidays and agrees to fly out then, but she's working on a big project and can't go jet-setting around the world with him. he understands and they'd make plans to talk every other night like usual and they're counting down the days until they see each other again. oscar's not that type though, got no plans other than to see her as much as possible. as soon as the last race is over and his media duties are done, he's flying back to her.

when lando calls her, oscar leaves the room to give them privacy and she doesn't tell lando he's there, a habit from the season when they always knew the other was there because they weren't. lando takes his absence from their calls as a sign that oscar isn't there and halfway through a ski trip decides to head back home, to her. his friends are understanding, wish him a safe flight and hours later he's unlocking the front door after getting dropped off. it truly doesn't occur to him that just because she didn't mention oscar, it doesn't mean he's not there. he hears them laughing as he kicks the door shut, he can tell they're in the den and it's close enough that they hear the door close and go quiet. he can hear murmured voices, did you hear that? was that a door? is someone here?

he wishes that he'd checked before flying all the way out. he’s not angry anymore, but he saw oscar leaving the track right after the race and heard he was flying home from someone in the garage and assumed that meant the uk, but now he knows it was here. he also assumed oscar didn’t want to talk to him and that’s why he rushed out, before lando even had the opportunity. he’d spent his break thus far fretting about texting him and seeing if they could meet up to talk, he hasn’t even had time to think about what he would say and now that he’s confronted with it, he doesn’t know what to do or say.

before he can figure out what to do, oscar's stepping into the hall with a baseball bat before freezing, "oh, you're not a burglar." he sounds more bored than relieved if anything, like he was excited to use it.

lando just laughs, "were you- did you plan to take down a burglar with a bat?"

reader comes scrambling from the other room as oscar is inspecting the bat, “lando’s here? did i hear him hating on my bat? i'll have him know my aunt gifted me that and she used it three times, so it definitely works."

the absurdity of it all sends oscar and lando reeling, the idea of an aunt of hers attacking three burglars with an old wooden bat. reader just standing there wondering what is so funny like, "i'm serious. there are dents in it, look!" they laugh even harder, oscar drops the bat to the ground in favor of clutching his stomach. reader picks it up with a huff and stashes it back in the closet. when they finish laughing, most of the tension is gone. it's a little awkward, but lando just says, "i didn't know you were here." and oscar replies, "i didn't know you were coming, we ate all the pizza already." the statement eases lando's worries a bit, like if he'd known he would have saved him some. he doesn't know what that means, but it means something to him.

they just avoid the topic for a bit. oscar and reader tell him there's leftover take out in the fridge and go back to the living room and cozy back up on the couch like they had been. lando eats left overs from the fridge from the arm chair and they catch him up on the show they just started before playing the next episode. lando tells them about the ski trip he was on and the mountain he summitted. eventually, reader falls asleep on oscar and when the episode finishes he gets up to carry her to bed. oscar asks if he's coming to bed before he leaves the room and lando knows things will be okay after they talk.

they're both up before she is the next morning, neither could sleep well with the impending conversation on their minds. lando gets up first when he can’t fall back asleep and deems it early enough to go for a run to clear his head. oscar wakes up sometime after that and sees lando's gone, but before he can worry that lando's left, he notices the open dresser and clothes tossed around and knows he's still around somewhere.

he's cooking breakfast when lando comes home, a full spread of bacon, eggs, hashbrowns, french toast. mostly to give himself something to occupy the time, and something to focus on while he waits for lando to return from wherever. lando wants to talk as soon as he gets home, still sweaty and panting from his run. oscar offers him a glass of water when he sees the state of him and lando gulps it down. before oscar can ask if he wants a refill, lando starts apologizing for everything on his part. every time oscar tries to interrupt, lando cuts him off with a, “wait, i’m almost done!” even though all oscar wants to do is say everything is forgiven and he’s sorry too, and also that he doesn’t need an itemized list of all the things lando is sorry for.

reader wakes up to them joking around while finishing up breakfast and she’s a little anxious going into the kitchen, unsure if they’re avoiding the topic and playing nice for her safe or if they talked finally. oscar sees her walk in and makes his way over to greet her, she gives him a good morning kiss and tries not to wonder if lando’s upset or jealous watching them. before she can think too hard about it, lando’s whining that he didn’t get a kiss. reader thinks he’s whining about her, so does oscar, so they pull apart and she makes grabby hands at lando and coos, “come give me a kiss then” and he mumbles, “meant oscar, but i’ll take what i can get.”

[gennyanydots]

Be My Escape

Past asshole boyfriend Jake ‘Hangman’ Seresin x f!reader

Future Bradley ‘Rooster’ Bradshaw x f!reader

Part 2/3

Catch up on part 1 here

Part 3

Masterlist

The following day, your parents drove you and your things the whole way to your new school, The University of Virginia. You were thankful that, that had always been the plan so you could secretly cry the whole way in the backseat. Even though you were the one to breakup with Jake, you knew that it was harder on you. It was always going to be. You had real feelings for him, you doubt he paid you much mind at all. Clearly didn’t think well enough of you to not cheat on you and lie to you.

Your cousin met you at your summer dorm and helped you and your parents move your things in. Your parents couldn’t take any time off from work so they had to leave almost as soon as you were unpacked but they wouldn’t miss taking their baby girl to college for anything so they did what they would. They knew you’d be in good hands with Russel. Your mom was practically sick with worry to leave you, but Russ assured her that he would take good care of his “baby sister”. His friends would too. Nothing like what happened in high school would happen in college. He’d make sure of it.

As soon as your parents left, Russ made you pack an overnight bag so he could take you to his apartment. He said there was no way he could leave you alone in your dorm to wallow. He wasn’t about to let you cry alone in the dark over some asshole that he really wants to kick the shit out of.

Russ told you he warned his roommate that he was bringing his favorite cousin home to the apartment and apparently let on that you had just had a very bad breakup and might be in a less than fun mindset. That made you roll your eyes. Just what you wanted. Someone to feel bad for you.

When you arrived at the apartment, his roommate was nowhere to be found. He left Russ a note on the coffee table saying that he cleaned his bedroom, including his bedding, for you to stay in and that there was ice cream in the freezer for you and a box of popcorn on the counter for all the sad movies you might want to watch per breakup tradition.

You gave Russ a questing look before he shrugged at you.

“That’s just the way he is. He’s my best friend but he would have done that sort of thing for anyone. He hates it when people are upset,” Russ explained and you nodded.

“Please thank him for me,” you said as Russ walked you into his roommate’s room. True to their word the bedroom looked immaculate. Nothing on the floor. The dresser was tidy. The bed was made. It even smelled clean.

“Do you want to rest or anything or should I get some pizza?” Russ asked as he leaned against the door frame and pulled out his phone.

You shrugged, “Maybe order the pizza and I’ll lay down until it gets here?”

Russ nodded and walked out of the room, closing the door behind him.

You let out a big breath. Well. Here you were. Stayed away from everything you knew.

A couple of your friends had texted you this morning about what Jake got up to the night before but you didn’t care. You didn’t want to waste any more mental energy on him. He made his feelings quite clear.

Plus you’re sure you can find someone much better here to date, though the bar is so low that almost anyone would be better than Jake.

You shook your head a little to get rid of your thoughts. No more Jake. He doesn’t exist anymore.

You decided to quietly snoop through Russ’s roommate’s things. Not opening drawers or anything, that would be an invasion of privacy, just looking at the things around the room.

A few pictures were on the dresser. One of two men with their arms wrapped around each other, one lighter haired man with a mustache and one darker haired man who was much shorter than the other man. Another picture of the same mustached man with a little blonde boy both of them grinning from ear to ear at the camera. A third picture was of a curly haired boy with a blonde woman, both scrunching their noses at each other.

A few text books and a notebook laid out on the desk. Nothing too interesting.

You sat down in the desk chair and rip out a blank piece of paper. You might as well thank Russ’s roommate yourself.

You write:

“Dear Russel’s Roommate,

Thank you very much for everything you did for me. You are incredibly sweet and I really appreciate it all.

- Y/N”

Past that first night you spent a fair amount of time at Russell’s apartment. His roommate always seemed to be gone. Either working or in class or at another friend’s house.

Russ explained that his roommate didn’t want you to feel uncomfortable here. He wanted to make sure this was a safe space for you. If you planned on staying over there was always clean sheets on the nicely made bed. And ever since you started with it, there was always a note to you. If you weren’t staying over it would be on the coffee table with your name on it.

You tried to tell him that he could hang out with you guys too but he never said anything about it in his notes to you. Oftentimes the notes would be a corny joke or two. Sometimes they would just say that he hoped you had a wonderful day because you deserved to.

All summer it was like that.

When the new semester hit you were much busier than you had been in the summer. You took more classes. You got involved. You made friends. The time you spent at Russ’s apartment was less and less. Russ would always make sure to see you at least once a week but as strange as it seemed you missed his roommate despite never actually meeting him.

You decided the next time you went over to leave your number for him. A big step in your kinda sorta friendship.

So that Thursday when you went over that’s exactly what you did. You left your number.

When you were back in your dorm that night, slightly feeling a little anxious about the whole ordeal despite your roommate telling you it wasn’t that big of a deal, you got a text from a number you didn’t know.

It said, “what happens when you get soap in your mouth when you’re singing in the shower?”

You responded with, “Umm I don’t know.”

“It becomes a soap opera!”

And from that day forward you received some sort of terrible joke daily.

“I don’t know what the best thing about Switzerland is but the flag is a big plus.”

“I don’t trust those trees on campus. They seem shady.”

“I know a joke about chemistry but I don’t think it’ll get a reaction.”

By October you still hadn’t met Russ’s roommate but you did talk to him a lot. Outside of his daily jokes he always tries to check in with you to see how you’re doing, how classes are going, if you need anything.

You were with Jake for two years and he never did this kind of stuff and you barely knew this guy.

When Halloween weekend arrived, your own roommate decided to drag you to a party. You both decided it would be fun to dress up as tourists complete with Hawaiian shirts, leis, and fanny packs.

When you told Russ what you were dressing up as he laughed really hard. You weren’t sure why. Yeah your costume was funny but it definitely wasn’t THAT funny.

This was your first bigger college party. It was at one of the fraternity houses that your roommate’s boyfriend was in.

Being the shy kid in high school you hadn’t gone to too many parties, not that Jake would take you to them anyway, but you were having fun at this one. Your roommate and you both drank a couple drinks and mostly just spectated together. You two watched all the drunken shenanigans together until eventually she was whisked away by her boyfriend. She made you promise though not to leave the house without her, her boyfriend already had told you both he would be walking you both back, though you’re pretty sure your roommate would just be stopping by the dorm to grab some things before heading back out with him. You appreciated the gesture nonetheless.

Even without your spectating buddy you continued watching everything that was going on while sipping on a drink.

It didn’t take too long before someone sidled up to you.

“Hey look! We match!” A voice said from beside you.

You look and lo and behold the man next to you was wearing a very similar Hawaiian shirt along with a pink tutu. He was taller than you. Light brown curly hair. Cute boyish smile. Vaguely familiar mustache that you can’t quite figure out why it’s familiar to you.

“Ave Ventura?” You asked while gesturing to the tutu.

He chuckled and nodded, “You win a gold star. Pretty sure only one other person guessed my costume right.”

“Clearly these partygoers have poor taste,” you said with a giggle.

He nodded, “Agreed. Uncultured swine. All of them.”

“Maybe not that far…”

“You sure? I watched someone chug a beer, throw up, and then went back to chugging beer,” he said pointedly.

“I don’t think today is a good day to base opinions on people. Pretty much everyone is running around like a hooligan,” you said as you gestured to the party.

He chuckled and nodded, “You’re right. However, there are at least two non-hooligans. What’s that say about us?”

You shrugged, “I’m not sure.”

“I am. We’re clearly in the right and making sound decisions with our lives.”

“You sure? I’m drinking underage,” you said as you sipped your drink.

“Yeah you and everyone else. Plus, my uncle snuck me beers as soon as I turned 16 as long as I didn’t let my mom know.”

“For shame!” You said with a laugh.

He shrugged and laughed, “She probably knew. Not much got past her. I never got away with anything.”

“I never really tried to get away with anything. I was perfectly content doing what I was supposed to.”

He smiled, “Nothing wrong with that. Rebellion isn’t always what it’s cracked up to be. I’m a rule follower. Now more so than then.”

You nodded, “It’s easier that way.”

“Agreed,” he said then turned a little bit more towards you and held out his hand. “Bradley Bradshaw. I don’t think we’ve ever met.”

You look him up and down and grinned, “Not officially but I’ve been in your bed a time or two.”

He blushed and scratched the back of his head, “I’m really sorry. I really don’t do that often. I don’t remember you and I do apologize. I haven’t done that in a long, long while.”

You shook you head and laughed, “Not like that. Maybe this will help. I used to be addicted to soap but I’m clean now.”

You watched as Bradley’s face broke out into a grin, “I should have known it was you.”

You smiled back at him, “Oh? And how should you have known?”

Bradley shrugged, “You and Russ look kinda similar but also this was the first conversation all night I enjoyed and the only other person I’ve recently been loving conversations with is this one girl who keeps sleeping in my bed.”

“That sounds mildly inconvenient for you. Her sleeping in your bed.”

He shook his head, “Can’t say that I mind it one bit. After she sleeps in my bed, my pillow always smells like her. I mean that in the least creepy way possible. It just smells really good and I like it a lot.”

You blushed and laughed, “Well, that’s a new one. Can’t say anyone’s ever told me they liked when I sleep in their bed because I smell good.”

Bradley shrugged, “They’re missing out. And they’ll continue to miss out. If you sleep in someone else’s bed I’ll pout.”

“I wouldn’t want to make you sad,” you said with a giggle.

“Glad we’re in agreement. Only my bed. And your bed. But maybe I could take you out and eventually lay in that bed together. For sleeping. Not for other things. Unless you wanted to do other things. And were completely comfortable doing those things. With me. I would never push you for things you weren’t comfortable with. I’m not like that at all. And I would never treat you like however your asshole ex did. Russ didn’t tell me. Just told me that if he ever set foot on campus we had to beat him up. Should I have told you that? I don’t think so. Oh God. I’ve fucked this up. Shit. I’m sorry.”

You laughed and put a hand on his arm, “Relax. I would love to go out with you sometime. And then we’ll see what happens down the line. And if my ex sets foot on campus you can beat him up. I’m 100% okay with that.”

Bradley took a deep breath letting it out slowly, “Okay. Great. I’m very excited. Not for the beating up thing. Wait. Yes I am. I would be very excited for that. If he didn’t treat you right then it’s my duty to beat him up. Protect your honor and what not. Unless you didn’t want me to protect your honor and you wanted to do it. Then I would support you. I really need to stop talking. I just don’t think I can. This is the most nervous I’ve been around a girl in a long time. Since like puberty. And that was a while ago. Stop talking, Bradley.”

You laughed, “You’re cute. You don’t have to stop talking.”

He blushed, “I don’t? I’ll talk forever if that’s what you’d like.”

“Sounds good, Bradley,” you said with a smile and reached up and kissed his cheek.

“Do you think I could walk you home later? I’d like to make sure you’re safe and sound. Never know what’s lurking about on Halloween.”

“I would love that.”

Part 3

[gabessquishytum]

Wrote this in my notes first in case it gets lost, bc ive sent asks into ur box a couple of times before and i didnt think they sent? So;

Inspired by a pwp fic from the GO fandom, dub con where Dream's a hotshot CEO who's office is in the penthouse floor of the building, and Hob's the window washer.

Dream's got the whole exhibitionism thing, so imagine he regularly fucks himself in his office chair, legs spreads on the armrests facing the world. He's always assumed nobody could see him, I mean. No cameras in the office and hes on the 83rd floor on one of the highest skyscraper in the city, who's looking, right? He gets a kick out of the FEELING of being impossibly watched though, and it makes him cum harder than he ever could in any club or orgy. Hes usually so into it that hes not paying any actual attention to the wide open windows he's got his holes facing, so he doesnt notice when somebody...finally DOES see.

The exterior of the windows get washed on a twice every 3 months basis, on a rotation. Its a dangerous, expensive job, so theres not a lot of guys on hire and its usually the same ones. What Im trying to say is Hob's been doing this a long time and hes good at what he does. He usually gets to see Dream, even if the CEO doesnt notice him right back, and he has to admit he has a lil crush on the guy (I mean who wouldn't). Some new kid gets into a Fall and the schedule gets fucked up without Dream knowing and Hob gets the full Dream Holes treatment.

Dream doesnt notice him there practically the whole time. Hob's taken his phone out and he's recorded the almost the whole thing, every moan and orgasm and flex of muscle and flesh. He just plans to keep it to himself and jack off with it, but on the last second Dream opens his eyes and they lock eyes and he freezes like a cornered animal.

Hob raises his eyebrows. Mouths "dont let me stop you.", one hand holding a phone up and recording the other hand fondling the bulge on the front of his pants. Dream takes one look at the obscene tent the front of hsi pants and cums so hard he squirts and stains the windows. Hob smirks.

Something something Hob blackmails him with the video to let Hob fuck him on a regular basis. Maybe in the office itself. It'll certainly tick a kink off right both of their lists.

Omg hi!! So sorry your messages haven't been getting through before now, that's super annoying. Please feel free to message me at any time in the future if you're wondering whether I got your ask or not. I know it can feel a bit anxious wondering what happened to your message <3

Anyway: this is amazing and I am. EXTREMELY into it. I got a little happy wiggle thinking about Dream squirting onto the window, hoooly shit.

Hob is such a dirty bastard omg. Like he may clean those windows until they shine but he is FILTHY. He's got absolutely no qualms about filming that video in the first place, and then using it as blackmail material. He's just never seen such a pretty cunt, and he wants to remember it. And if Dream didn't want him to see those lovely holes then why'd he show them off like that?

Dream isn't going to admit it but he's enjoying this blackmail thing waaay more than he should. It's been a long time since he had a decent dick inside him, and he knew ever since he saw the bulge that Hob would be big. Dream takes great satisfaction in pushing Hob down into his leather desk chair and climbing onto his cock to ride. He's got a lot of frustration to work out and Hob is the perfect solution. His big hands go around Dream’s waist just right, and his cock hits places that no one else ever has. Plus he can be quiet. And he makes sure that Dream is quiet, too. Stuffs a pair of panties or a tie in his mouth if necessary.

Dream is working on persuading Hob to fuck him on the mechanical platform he uses for the window cleaning business. Hob argues that whole city could see them. Dream counters that that's the whole point.

[princess-of-the-corner]

Thanks for the reblog on the Lila post!

Also seeing as Lila & Heroes Dy came up, I had a theory regarding that for Queens Second Chance. Obviously your story but its a thought. (Also I may blur over to 12 Kwami/Altered Butterfly lore a bit, apologies its habit XD)

So, LB & Chat know the gist of what went down in the future & that a big event is coming up on Heroes Day. What is the plan once QB spills all the tea?

Cos some part of them would just like to have Ladybug on hand to either deal with illusions or give a public statement to calm panic.

But this is also the only time Hawk Moth leaves his home base before 'whatever' he did in QB's original timeline that fucked them all up.

This is too good of a chance to waste!

Stage 1: Recruitment!

QB wants to recruit all the other heroes, Fu is strenuously against it, feeling that the original timelines bad end proves his point. However, he is compelled to at leas give them a test.

Kim doesn't, not just cos of himself though Luka probably can't/won't be picked for now cos Sass may be semi out of commission & regardless Fu wants Sass far away from HK. Max has a fifty fifty chance of being recruits given the powers of Voyage but he may be deemed a bit to "In his own head". Kagami is recruits as she already has combat skills & can & will fight even when lacking in powers.

Stage 2: Remove or ambush key Akuma.

The most important Akuma to Hawk Moth's plan or the most dangerous that will still show up are:

Nadja, integral for spreading panic Kim, because he can make more Akuma Volpina, the entire plan relies on her after all Sandboy, like fuck any of them want to deal with that again Minon, not integral to the plan but if she has dolls of them, they're screwed.

Minon is easy just swing by her house the night before & grab the dolls, promise her they'll come play with her later. Sandboy is harder, but maybe his family suddenly found themselves winning a deluxe holiday or basically any other reason to GTFO of Paris.

Kim could be handled by telling him the truth but there's fear HK won't show himself if things don't go too well, same for Nadja & Volpina. So rather than take them out before hand or right away the plan is to basically wait in ambush.

IE, Ladybug, Rena & Carapace will stealth up on Nadja to both drop her Akuma and make a public announcement on her camera to keep Paris calm.

Queen Bee, Chat & Kagami will be stalking Kim's flight path in order to ambush him the second Hawk Moth shows his face as Kim stayed in hiding to surprise Akumatize people.

This let's them reassure Paris, keep Kim calmed down so there's no new Akuma and catch HK flat footed. his army might be an issue but that is also what Kagami is for.

IE, she goes all Wind Dragon and blasts them away to clear a path to Hawk Moth. Then Carapace either needs to trap him or all of them in a shield so they can curbstomp his ass.

3: The Wheels come off

As fun as it'd be for this go succeed and end in a rousing round of Gabriel stomping. Gabriel is, for all his issues commanding an army, a good schemer. He will notice something is off either before this goes into motion or right when everything starts going to hell.

He's too proud to quit just like that though and does still have his army and so hopes to brute force it. Still, he almost certainly calls Lila in to act as his shadow and body double if shit goes south.

If its like canon, Nathalie may also make for the Peacock right away even if it means a big risk to her life.

Or Gabriel's survival instincts kick in & he starts manifesting a Familiar. early.

Whatever the case, with a combo of Lila & outsider intervention, he escapes.

Chloe likely destroys the nearest objects in a rage, cos yeah at this point HK almost certainly knows some kind of prophecy, time travel shenanigan's have happened.

This means he can blame all his failures on that rather than him sucking or his foes being perfect and is further enraged because it means he had won and they took it from him.

Cue a trip to Shanghai.

Note: also if Max was taken on he'd be on hand either for evacuation, or to help with scattering the villains, or the ambushes.

That's just my take though.

Fantastic plan!

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

Hail sex witch! I recently went in for my first pap smear/pelvic exam (prior to which I read your blog posts about them which helped more than I can express, thank you!) It was overall comfortable and I would even say a good experience because they answered a lot of questions I had and explained some basic stuff that I really needed spelled out for me. The only thing was that for a few weeks after the appointment I didn't want to touch/look at/think about my vagina whatsoever. It was just this weird feeling of vague but powerful embarrassment, which I would have expected during the appt itself but not after the fact. I didn't even want to catch glimpse of myself when undressed, and was showering with the lights off lol. Even though this didn't last long I also do not want to go back to those doctors and want to start over with a strange doctor, even though the doctor I saw was very good and likeable and helpful and absolutely nothing unpleasant happened during the appt. (I don't plan on changing doctors; I liked these ones! But there's still this unreasonable urge to book my next appointment somewhere else).

I know a big part of your philosophy seems to be that "is this normal" is often not a very useful question, but I guess that's what I'm asking anyway - is this a thing other people experience? Is it just part of the experience of being in a somewhat vulnerable position with strangers, no matter how much you trust said strangers? Or is it some weird quirk of my brain that I'll have to adjust for in the future? It didn't interfere with my life overmuch, but it's still a very strange thing to be so uneasy with your own body and have no idea why.

hi anon,

so, okay, I'm going to tell a short story, and it's not going to seem related initially, but I promise it is.

I really like getting tattoos. I have several of them now, and I like getting them! not just the final result of having meaningful art on my body; I like the actual process of feeling the needle vibrating into my skin and permanently changing me in a manner of my choosing. it feels good exciting; it gives me a little rush of dopamine even as the pain starts to kick in and in spite of any blood that oozes through. that's fine with me, because those are side effects of new tattoos that I know about and consent to by showing up in the shop, but here's the thing:

my body doesn't know the difference between "somebody cut our skin open and we're bleeding (consensual)" and "somebody cut us open and we're bleeding (holy shit go into crisis)." after my last tattoo, I was walking home (I live like ten minutes from the shop, it's fine) and although I was delighted, I realized I was also lightheaded and cold, and upon getting home was fucking exhausted because my body was, you know, panicking in the way that bodies do when they've been injured. on one level I understand that this is something I explicitly sought out, asked for, and paid for the privilege; on another level, my body thinks a trauma happened.

so, let's talk about what's happening with you.

on one level, your exam was an appointment that you made, presumably, voluntarily, knowing full well that it might be uncomfortable and awkward but undergoing it willingly because you know that preventative care is important. even know telling me about it, you recognize that this was an objectively good and even comfortable experience and that you received good care from doctors that you like who answered your questions and gave you helpful information!

but on another level, what your body knows and is responding to is that you were in a new situation in which your body was subjected to examination and penetration that you're not accustomed to, in a way that may have caused aches and pains you've never experienced before. pretty understandably, your body is under the impression that something traumatic has occurred.

the reactions you're describing - feeling alienated from your vagina, not wanting to see your own body - are often described by people who have survived sexual assault; it's a coping mechanism to distance yourself from the site of your pain. likewise, wanting to avoid going back to the physical place where the discomfort occurred is understandable - it's not rational, but who cares? feelings rarely are; you still have to deal with them anyway. it's completely understandable why you would subconsciously want to avoid going back.

it is very important to me to say this: it's absolutely fine that you are reacting this way. you're not being unreasonable or immature or overreacting or anything else; this is not your fault and you have nothing to blame yourself for or to apologize for. we're going to feel these feelings and be observant and respectful, and feel them without shame rather than try to bottle them up and ignore them. give yourself the space to feel discomfort and be kind to yourself while you work through it.

you've said that this has largely passed, save for the urge to book your next appointment elsewhere. I'm glad this isn't an ongoing source of daily unpleasantness, but it is very much something to be aware of for the future. some people, for various reasons, need to plan for some extra-strength gentleness and self-care around their pelvic exams and pap smears, and if you're one of those people then that's fine! and very good to know!

it's useful information to have for the future, and I hope that next time you're due for such an appointment you can a.) arrange to do whatever makes you feel most cared for afterwards (for some people it's netflix and a bubble bath, for others it's rock climbing, chase your bliss) and b.) stay in touch with the healthcare providers who gave you such excellent service this time. as intimidating as it can be to bring up concerns, it sounds like you were lucky enough to have a lovely bunch, and it sounds like asking them for any extra accommodations you may need to help put you at ease and keep the procedure as quick and painless as possible will be received well.

those accommodations can also look like a lot of different things. the first time I got a pap smear I prefaced the exam by letting my gyno know that it was my first time, penetration isn't pleasant for me, and that I'd likely swear a lot throughout; she was an angel about it. at my most recent exam I was having a rough time and asked for a break, which my (very cute, very gay, god what a weird way to meet a woman) gyno was happy to provide; she removed the speculum and I did some centering breathing until I felt good to finish up.

so, to answer your questions a little more neatly: yes, this is a thing other people experience for a variety of reasons, especially when their body thinks it's been hurt - which, in a way, you were, because your body is very good at being a body but not always great at nuance.

I think it's a little of column a, little of column b, in regards to your second question. maybe there is a part of your brain that will never feel fully at ease with this kind of vulnerability, but you can certainly help it feel safe and cared for as much as possible. I hope that having a little insight into why can help you do that.

[basedkikuenjoyer]

Spiderwebs Part 748

Okay Toei, I forgot about this one being on y'all and it is a dope addition. Cavendish has cutouts of adoring fans if none are around. He needs them, he has a condition. A condition I find hilarious. This specific moment is where I want to end this series on and thankfully Cabbage gets a little more love as a key lead-in. Remember the idea is early Dressrosa & where it breaks down is the biggest example of what the Straw Hats lack going forward. Cavendish is a great example of who works well as a counter...but he's just too damn annoying to be more than the star of the Grand Fleet. Yes, the fact he has a foil dynamic with an adoring fanboy is certainly relevant when compared to a later renowned beauty with a demon alter ego.

This anime addition is bolstering an interesting scene in Dressrosa, 748 is kind of an internal story that serves as a transition for Luffy & Zoro but also reinforces this overall idea. Like, it comes in later but echoes some of those early ideas. That's what I wanna look at, from the perspective this chapter is where we really see the idea of a Grand Fleet start to form:

You probably remember this gag well. A bunch of the future GF captains badger Luffy about how they're all going to kick the shit out of Doflamingo. But looking back there are some more interesting scenes. The first is this. Because fame is an important context when we talk themes that come up later in Wano. It's telling Luffy doesn't really even get what Cavendish is on about here. Remember this is between Jinbei struggling to get Luffy to understand this concept and Wano showing him get it; you're a famous figure now and that will influence how you got about things. See Lucy in the Colosseum.

Cabbage is a great example of how fame can net you enemies through no fault of your own. But it isn't just him. This segment is interesting because its a lot of future Grand Fleet captains coming together. You could argue this is a key moment where the Fleet forms, and fittingly for my bullshit it's also a big place where you see how rowdy and prone to infighting the group can be. An early example that they don't always listen to Luffy well. Even Zoro tries and fails to craft a sensible plan. That plus what prompts this meeting already is a pretty damn cool coincidence to have 200 chapters before the big reveal for Kiku in Udon.

Luffy and Zoro get tossed down because of losing their shit at Pica's voice. Which is objectively hilarious. But actually stop and think beyond the gag. Losing their composure for a bit had big consequences, the scene pushes that angle. It delayed them and Pica's rampage contributes a lot to Dressrosa's destruction. This is an idea that'll come up in the fight too; Doflamingo tries to taunt Law about Corazon and remarks that he's matured when it doesn't work. Kaido tries another version that does work on Luffy by being silly and flirty in a dire moment.

Part of why I find the trans reveal for Kiku in Udon as interesting. Chopper's one thing but getting bogged down in a big conversation about that right at that moment wouldn't just piss off our beloved Crane Wife and made her (metaphorically) fly away, it could have jeopardized the whole capture of the prison. They needed to act fast to keep the report from getting out. You know, pulling a Doflamingo and giving a fake one.

Where this all comes together for me though isn't the coincidence with a chapter number...it's the title. Ore no Onagaeshi or "I'm Returning the Favor" like what the future captains are shouting as they all come together. Of course, that's interesting in light of the lil bookend we have around Bakura Town. 913's Tsuru no Onageshi and it's folklore allusion that casts a long shadow over Kiku's story followed by 918's Luffytaro Returns the Favor.

Of course, the story of Luffy, Zoro, and a strange new girl making everything in Wano more complicated because they had to save a little girl and dole out vigilante justice. It was still a much more orderly type of chicanery even if Law griped about it. Seriously though, this segment does use a lot of the same concepts and it's cool how it all comes together around someone who impresses Luffy at least would theoretically be good at keeping that group of ruffians in line.

[roosterbruiser]

𝐒𝐢𝐥𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐒𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 ✯ 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐅𝐨𝐮𝐫

✯ 𝐉𝐚𝐤𝐞 "𝐇𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐦𝐚𝐧" 𝐒𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐢𝐧 𝐱 𝐘𝐨𝐮 (𝐍𝐢𝐜𝐤𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐞: 𝐅𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐲) ✯ 𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: On a rare day off, you get to help Jake on the Carolina farm. A lot of future plans are made in the whimsical heat of the day. The afternoon ends with the two of you completely alone in your bedroom. ✯ 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐬: 𝟕.𝟕𝐤 ✯ 𝐒𝐢𝐥𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐒𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐨𝐟𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐥 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐲𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 ✯ 𝐅𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐲'𝐬 𝐦𝐢𝐱𝐭𝐚𝐩𝐞 #𝟏 ✯ 𝐉𝐚𝐤𝐞'𝐬 𝐦𝐢𝐱𝐭𝐚𝐩𝐞 #𝟏 ✯ 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐒𝐢𝐥𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐒𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 ✯ 𝐫𝐨𝐨𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐛𝐫𝐮𝐢𝐬𝐞𝐫'𝐬 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐎𝐧𝐞 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐅𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐒𝐢𝐥𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐤𝐞𝐞𝐩, 𝐓𝐗 𝐉𝐮𝐧𝐞 𝟐𝐧𝐝, 𝟐𝟎𝟎𝟖

You like the smell of barns. There’s a certain must about them, an odor, that you find appealing. The scent of the earth is thicker here, aided by the horse shit Jake is raking and the dusty hay you’re throwing into the stalls. It smells like animal, really--it’s a smell that makes your eyes water, a smell that makes your throat tickle. 

“Careful,” Jake pants from the next stall over, peering at you between rusted bars with his hair plastered to his forehead with sweat. “That mare’s a kicker.” 

You’re still holding the rusty stall of the kicking mare open with your hip as you ready to throw a tuft of hay into her stall. She’s a big chestnut thing, a spot of white down her long muzzle, and she’s eyeing you carefully as she stamps her foot into the dirt.

“What’s her name?” You ask, the hay pricking your bare forearms.

The mare still eyes you, her big brown eyes almost as dark as her fur. She has little ginger eyelashes that flutter as she blinks at you, seemingly nodding her head and whinnying for you to hurry the Hell up with her breakfast. 

You toss in the hay gingerly, careful not to get too close to her.  

“Sugar,” Jake answers, rolling his eyes. 

“Ha,” you mutter, leaning against the musty wood to watch Sugar start munching on her hay. “She’s real pretty,” you tell Jake, marking the curve of her spine with your wandering eyes. 

“Well, pretty is as pretty does,” Jake tells you, leaning against his rake as Chief brays behind him and nudges him softly with his muzzle, attempting to take Jake’s cutoff between his teeth. “So I reckon she ain’t very pretty at all.”

“Think you’re gettin’ away with talkin’ about me straight to my face, mustang?” You tease him.

“Apparently not,” he teases right back. 

The door whines as you shut it, the metal clanging shut with a thunderous clang. It echoes all the way down the muddy barn and claps around the little arena that’s made up of loose dirt. Down the concrete pathway, below the sneaky house sparrows that have made their homes in the rafters, there are about twenty-five more stalls, all of which have been cared for by you and Jake. 

Jake picked you up before the sun rose after you told him that you didn’t have the opening shift at Dairy N Berries. You rode to the Carolina’s barn on the handlebars of his bike, leaning against his chest and blinking the sand out of your eyes as the Texas sun rose ahead of you. You had to fight the urge to jump off his bike and into the grass when the pasture first came into view, when you saw the horses lazily roaming the green crabgrass. 

“Finally where you’re meant to be,” Jake teased as he turned onto the winding driveway of the Carolina’s. “A farm. Though I did think you’d end up at the funny farm, not a horse farm.”

“That’s a joke your grandpa would make,” you told him, wrinkling your nose. “Who calls ‘em funny farms anymore? Get some new material.”

He pinched you--not hard enough to hurt, but hard enough for you to jump forward on the bars.

“So I shouldn’t make a joke about the deal with airplane food?” 

You had rolled your eyes, chewing your lower lip. But you did love to be around horses--as your income would have it, horseback riding lessons were never in your cards. Tack that onto the laundry list of things your daddy’s always felt guilty about. 

Now you’ve been doing this all morning; gathering tufts of hay and chucking them into freshly mucked stalls, carrying a dirty hose to each stall and refilling the troughs. The Carolina’s have about twenty-two horses, each of them quarter horses, and they have each and every one of them taken your breath away. 

“‘Bout done here,” Jake tells you, wiping his forehead clean of sweat with his dirty tank. If you weren’t so busy watching Sugar devour her breakfast, your breath would be bated at the sight of Jake’s midriff. “Then I gotta lunge one of the rascals.” 

Jake’s pauses for a moment when you don’t respond. You’re still outside of Sugar’s stall, on your tip-toes in those beat up cowgirl boots that you probably outgrew a couple years ago. You are holding onto the bars of her stall, practically smushing your pink cheeks against them as you watch her. The straps of your tank are falling off your freckled shoulders and your shorts are too big so you have them tied with a shoelace. He can see it in your eyes, the way your lashes flutter, the way you’re chewing the inside of your cheek with a smile: you’re just happy, the kind of happy that is uninhibited. It makes his chest hurt watching you watch something you love so much--especially since he knows he probably won’t ever be able to give it to you. 

“Earth to Filly,” Jake teases, snapping in your direction. You smile at him, your eyebrows knit. “Did you hear me?” Jake asks. 

You hum, nodding. You had. You’re always listening to Jake. 

“Which one’s gettin’ lunged?”

“That one on the end there,” Jake tells you, nodding towards the last stall. “Buttermilk.”

You stand outside her stall, watching as she chews on bits of hay you gave her. She has the lightest lashes you’ve ever seen--they’re the color of freshly fallen snow. And her nose is pink, pink like a kitten’s tongue. 

“Remember my neighbor Gilda?” You ask Jake, leaning against Buttermilk’s stall. 

Jake hums, raking the soiled hay into the wheelbarrow beside him. 

“The old lady?” 

“Yeah,” you answer. “She was always alone. Like no one ever visited her. Mama felt real bad for her so we were always visitin’ her. Her trailer smelled like cat piss.”

He hums again, sniffling. 

“What about her?” 

“She used to subscribe to PONY Magazine,” you tell him, sighing. “And I guess her and mama got to talkin’ one day ‘cause somehow she found out that I liked horses. So after she finished readin’ the magazines, she’d give ‘em to me.” 

Jake wipes under his nose very carefully with the back of his wrist.

“That’s nice of her,” he calls. “I didn’t know that.” 

It surprises him that there are still things about you that he doesn’t know. 

You nod. 

“I’d cut all of the magazines up,” you tell him, remembering the dull slice of the kitchen scissors and how meticulously you’d trace the outlines of the horses. It was probably one of the only things you ever actually did carefully. “Paste all the pictures on my bedroom walls. Had my own little farm in there.” 

“I remember,” Jake tells you. He can very clearly picture the palomino and clydesdale horses that were pasted to the wainscoting around your bedroom window. Your mama didn’t realize you were gluing them to the walls until you’d already covered half of your room. “And I remember how much trouble you were in when your mama found out about the glue.” 

You laugh--it’s drier than you mean it to be. You were in trouble. Of course you were--your family was only renting the trailer, anyhow. Your punishment had been a weekend spent with your dad peeling the pictures off the walls and patching the blemishes. 

You cried the whole time. 

“Those’re two days of my life I won’t ever get back,” you sigh softly.

Jake swallows. He remembers how you cried--how your mama tried to get you to hang other pictures on your walls with thumbtacks and how your daddy tried to get you more PONY Magazines. But you were an unrelenting thing. You wouldn’t hang anything on your walls out of principle; you punished your mama right back with that unwavering stubbornness, with the grudge you held against her. 

A chill runs up his spine when he thinks about being on the receiving end of that temper.  

“Who knows,” he says. “Maybe you will get ‘em back.”

“That’s not the way it works,” you say, smiling with your brows furrowed. 

You meet Jake’s gaze through rusted bars. He’s smiling, too. 

“What?” 

“The world,” you tell him. “Time.” 

He shrugs. 

“You don’t know that,” Jake tells you, amused. “You don’t know nothin’.”

You grin. 

“And you don’t know nothin’ about nothin’.” 

He knows he would give those days back to you if he could, even if he wasn’t the one who took them. He’d do it in a heartbeat.  

It’s hot outside--hotter than it’s been all week. It’s hardly noon and as soon as the gravel crunches under the soft soles of your boots (which are really making your toes cramp), a flush breaks out all over your skin. Even in your shorts and tank top, you’re burning up. Jake is, too, grasping rough rope as he leads Buttermilk to the outdoor arena. Even Buttermilk seems to be affected by the heat, braying and kicking the gravel with her hooves. 

“Whoa, girl,” Jake says, patting her milky fur. “Relax.”

“I am relaxed,” you chide, elbowing him. 

He grins at you. 

You sit on the fence watching Jake as he attaches a longer lead to Buttermilk’s bridle, clucking at her and letting the rope go slack. You watch, entranced, as Buttermilk begins trotting around Jake. She moves with such grace, each of her mighty muscles unfolding beneath her skin, her white fur glowing in the sun. Even the sound of her hooves thudding against the ground is something you’ve heard in your dreams. 

“Giddy up, now, girl,” Jake calls to Buttermilk with a grin, beads of sweat dripping down his neck as he lets his body circle with her. “C’mon!”

“She’s doin’ her best,” you call to Jake with a bright grin, fanning yourself as you squint beneath the yellow sun.

Jake grins. 

“No, she ain’t,” Jake promises. “You should see the way she comes runnin’ when she hears grain hit her bucket. She really picks up the pace then.”

As you continue watching Buttermilk, you pull a cigarette from the pack in your pocket and light it, taking a long drag as Jake turns in circles again and again.  

“She looks like the kinda horse I’ve always wanted,” you tell Jake, ashing your cigarette. 

Jake glances at you. You’re biting your lip, holding tight to the bar beneath you, your legs dangling. The cigarette is billowing thick, elegant smoke all around your graceless frame. You’re just watching Buttermilk, your hair blowing softly in the wind. 

“Yeah?” He asks. “You want a white horse?” 

You nod. 

“Yeah, I do,” you tell him.

“Doesn’t every little girl want a white horse with a knight riding it?” Jake asks.

 The two of you catch each other’s gazes for only a moment, a fleeting look that neither of you are willing to submit to. 

You take another drag from your cigarette and shrug, looking down at the toe of your boot.. 

“I’d name my horse somethin’ different.” 

Jake hums, clucking once more when Buttermilk’s pace starts to falter. He pats the thighs of his jeans hard, encouraging Buttermilk’s pace as sweat starts to gather on her fur. 

“What would you name your white horse?” 

Not a beat passes before you answer. 

“Willow, probably.” 

His throat grows warm when you say it. Willow. It’s a pretty name--a real pretty one. For a moment, he’s overcome with a want; a want to give you a big white horse that you can name Willow and ride whenever you want. He’d do it if he could--for you. 

There seems to be a growing list of things he isn’t able to give you--it’s starting to make his belly hurt. He understands, now, how your daddy has been feeling your entire life. You want for so much and get so very little.  

“That’s gotta ring to it,” Jake agrees. “Think I’ve always wanted a paint.”

Ashing your cigarette again, you tilt your head. 

“And what would you name him?” 

Jake thinks for a moment, squinting. 

“Spot,” he answers. 

You laugh--it’s a sound that echoes across the flat pasture and against the sturdy oak trees that line the Carolina property. It makes Jake laugh, too, and startles Buttermilk into a rearing stance before Jake soothes her with his calloused hand. 

“How original,” you tell him. “C’mon, what would you name them really?” 

Jake shrugs. 

“How ‘bout this,” Jake starts, holding your gaze, “when we get our horses--and you get your white horse named Willow and I get my paint--I’ll let you name mine.”

Your heart squeezes. You’ve always known that you’ll know Jake forever. But now, now after everything the two of you have done and the places he’s touched you and the kisses you’ve shared, it feels different to hear him say it. There is a certain sense of togetherness that hasn’t quite touched the two of you before--one that is less about friendship and more about lust. But now it’s here, sitting int he arena, and you’re watching it as you finish your cigarette.

“Deal,” you answer, pretending like your cheeks aren’t flushed. 

Jake watches the way you chew on your lip--he wants to kiss you. That’s something that’s been happening a lot since he touched you against the tree by the spring; he has these urges now, ones only you can relinquish.

Since the day at the spring, the two of you have found each other again--a few times, actually. Once it was in your bedroom again, just after midnight, and by the time he went home he was dizzy from arousal. Another time it was in his bedroom in the middle of the afternoon and your cheeks were so flushed that you had to tell everyone you were sunburned when you came to the living room. Another time, the most recent time, it was last night after you closed the ice cream shop. It was quick, just the two of you hungrily kissing each other against the fridge, all the lights off and the doors locked. 

But now Jake wants you all the time and you want him all the time. 

More than that, though, more than that fire you’ve lit in the pit of his belly--he just wants to hear your laugh again. So he glances towards the red house at the base of the hill, the one that’s a good few hundred yards. Surely Mr. Carolina won’t come out now--it’s too damn hot. He’s too damn old. 

“Hey, Filly-girl,” Jake calls to you. You look at him, your eyes bright. “C’mon over here. I’ll give you a boost.”

There is not an ounce of hesitation in your being. It’s not in your nature to mull over decisions before making them. So you don’t look towards Mr. Carolina’s house and you don’t think about the fact that you’ll have no saddle or reins. You don’t think about Jake getting in trouble or falling off. You just hop down from the fence, chewing a grin, and approach Jake as he brings Buttermilk to a halt. 

“She’s a good girl,” Jake tells you, which is true. He’s overwhelmed by the scent of your skin, like choking on a citrus grove. He clears his throat and continues as you carefully run your flat palm over the curve of Buttermilk’s sweaty back. “Don’t pull her hair none. And--don’t, like, fall off, I guess.” 

As if Jake would let you even hit the ground. 

You nod, eager as ever. You’ve only been on horses a handful of times, usually at carnivals and fairs when the price of admission could be haggled by your silver-tongued father. And each time you settled on their backs, each time their girth spread your legs, each time you held those leather reigns--something inside of you eased. But your time was always fleeting; it was never enough. 

“Ready, girl?” 

You’re not really sure if he’s talking to you or Buttermilk. But again, you nod. Your breath is bated right now, your fingers tingling.  

You can smell Jake now, too; he smells like sweat and salt. This is what he smells like when the two of you come together, too, the few times that you have. This is what he smells like when he’s working hard and lunging horses and mucking stalls; but this is also what he smells like when he’s pressing his fingers against your folds and thumbing your nipples and pressing sloppy kisses to your mouth. You like this smell just as much as you like the smell of barns: there’s an animalism to it all.

Firmly, he grasps the seat of your shorts. It doesn’t bother you, but it still makes you flush. And then he heaves you up and you throw your leg over Buttermilk and suddenly you’re tall and the breeze is warm and the sun is hot and your thighs are moist from Buttermilk’s sweat. Jake holds onto your thighs for a moment, letting his fingers splay against your skin, and tries not to get dizzy with his urge to lay you down in a bed of hay and touch you again. 

“Y’good?” He asks you. 

He hopes, for a fleeting moment, that you’ll tell him that you want him to keep you steady. But you’ve never needed anyone to keep you steady. So he carefully retracts his hands from your legs, holding tight to the lead. 

You softly pet Buttermilk and she seems to keen under your touch, whinnying lowly. 

“Hi, girl,” you whisper to her. It makes you smile when her ears fold back to hear you. You comb your fingers through her knotted mane--the two of you have that in common, though hers is the color of a pail of cream. “You’re a pretty thing, huh?” 

It’s one of the softest Jake has ever seen you, petting that horse with your bare thighs hugging her ribs. You’re sitting on your crotch, your feet dangling by the bulge of Buttermilk’s belly, and your chin is squared. You look good--you look like a natural. It makes Jake’s throat warm. It makes Jake want to comb his fingers through your knotted mane and call you a pretty thing, too.

More than anything, you just look right sitting there. You have the ability to look right anywhere you go. He doesn’t understand that--can’t emulate it, but he recognizes it in the glint of your eyes and the way you make your upper lip stiff.   

“C’mon, girl,” Jake clucks, tugging on the lead. Buttermilk follows his insistence, braying, trotting happily along. “Y’alright up there?” 

You’re giggling--you can’t help it. There are butterfly wings against the lining of your belly and sunshine in your hair and fresh air in your lungs and you’re being jostled by the movement of a horse. You’re happy; so, so happy.

“Yeah,” you tell him. Your voice is thin. 

Jake watches you fondly, watches as you make sure to keep your grip on Buttermilk soft. And he’s watching when your eyes slip shut, when your lips pull into a cautious grin, when your chest expands with an exhale. The sunlight kisses your eyelashes, each and every one, and he thinks how lucky the sun must be to kiss each part of your face everyday. 

“Lookin’ good up there, Filly,” he calls to you. His voice is thin, too. He wants to tell you how beautiful you are. He wants to tell you how perfect you look. He wants to tell you that looking at you makes his chest hurt because he fucking loves you. 

“I am good, mustang,” you tell him, peering at him through your lashes. He’s grinning something fierce at you, his Adam’s apple sitting thickly in his throat. It makes something in your belly clench--just how pretty he looks when he’s looking at you. “I’m very good.”

✯ ✯ ✯

Your home is empty from about six thirty in the morning until about six o’clock in the evening. Your daddy wakes up early and takes his motorcycle to work, thundering down the road as the sun rises. And your mama walks to work at the corner store where she stocks shelves and presses price tags on cans. 

So that’s where you and Jake go once you’re done on the Carolina’s farm. He parks his bike in the grass and you open the shitty front door that’s never locked and even if you don’t have air conditioning inside the trailer, the shade makes it feel much cooler. 

“Hungry?” You ask Jake as you kick your dusty boots off by the door. You sigh when you stretch your bare toes out; the muscles there tight from being cramped into those little boots. 

“Starvin’,” Jake answers, closing the front door and kicking his boots off beside yours. 

He watches as you flex your toes and stretch your arms, clenching your fists as you grow accustomed to life off his handlebars. He wants to tell you that you could quench that hunger--you, just you, only you. 

“Bologna okay?” You ask. 

He nods.

As soon as you’re in the kitchen, you flick the little radio on. Your mama insists on turning it off when no one is home--calling it wasteful of all things--but you and your daddy keep in it on every hour you’re home. Country Roads, Take Me Home by John Denver floods your tiny kitchen.  

Your home is small--very small. But that doesn’t stop Jake from sitting on the countertops as you slather mustard on white bread. He unwraps the Kraft singles for you and you peel the plastic casing off the bologna. He’s watching your fingers as they grip the plastic knife in your hand, looking at those little half-crescents of dirt under your nails and the grime that coats your fingers.  

“Gonna be my apprentice now?” Jake asks, watching as you sprinkle a handful of Dortios over the cheese and then smush the sandwich down. It crunches under your palm--Jake’s belly suddenly feels entirely empty. “The ranch hand’s ranch hand.” 

“S’gotta ring to it,” you tell him with a small smile. 

You’re tired now--exhilarated, but tired. Your eyes are heavy and there’s a yawn sitting in the middle of your chest. You’re hungry, too, mouth full of water as you cut the sandwiches and flop them on flimsy paper plates. 

“You really do look good on a horse,” Jake tells you, watching pink flood your cheeks. “Picture-worthy.” 

“I’d like to think so,” you tell him as you eat. You don’t bother swallowing before you continue conversing. “I’ve decided on being a professional cowgirl when you go off and do your whole college thing.”

Jake swallows hard. College still feels about a million years away--even though he’s leaving at the end of summer. He’s leaving a week earlier than Hyde and Ruth, too, because workouts start. It’s making him nauseous to think about. 

You can tell you’ve stumbled--so you chew slowly and pick at the crust on your sandwich. To a certain degree, you don’t think Jake leaving at the end of summer feels real, either. It’s unimaginable, really--so unimaginable that the two of you have danced around talking about it until just now.

“You gonna be an outlaw, then?” Jake asks after a long beat, recovering finally. He licks a dot of mustard from the corner of his mouth and watches you ball up a tiny piece of soft bread between your thumb and index finger. 

Humming, you shrug. 

“I think I’ll go wherever I can get some new dirt under my boots,” you say wistfully. Then you grin at Jake, a tiny piece of bologna stuck between your front teeth. “Did that sound like a cowgirl?” 

He shakes his head, reaching out without warning and picking the meat from your teeth without saying a word. You push through your initial confusion before submitting to his fingernail scraping against your teeth.

Silently, he retrieves the tiny piece and, without thinking about it, puts it in his own mouth and swallows it. It takes a lot to gross Jake Seresin out--and he isn’t sure that any part of your body, least of all your mouth, could make his stomach turn. He loves you--even the little pieces of lunch meat that get stuck in the gap in your teeth.   

“Could’ve fooled me,” Jake answers with a shrug. “Gotta get yourself a pair of cowgirl boots that fit first.” 

“Yeah,” you say with a little roll of your eyes. “Let me just dip into my savings.” 

“I’ll get you a pair,” Jake says. He’s tired of not giving you what you want today and he’s only half-joking right now. 

You laugh. 

He doesn’t, just keeps eating. 

“Oh, you will?” You tease. You take another bite and then hum. “I have expensive taste, though.” 

He smiles small. 

“Hit me with your best shot,” he says. “Don’t you know how handsomely ranch hands are paid, Filly-girl?” 

You bite your lip, thinking. 

“Well, they’ve gotta be genuine leather. None of that side-cut shit either, I want that double-butt cow hide,” you take a breath and let your sandwich fall back on the floppy paper plate. “But I want them to be shiny and silver--like think aluminum foil here, okay?--and there has to be a little pocket sewn inside for my lighter.” 

Jake’s grinning, nodding along with you. 

“Piece of cake,” he tells you, shrugging. “How shiny are we talking here?” 

“Like you can see me comin’ from a mile away.” 

Jake nods again. 

“Spurs?” He prompts. 

You hum, wiping your hands on your dusty shorts. 

“Rosebuds,” you tell him.

Jake nods once more. He’s cataloging all of this, saving it for a rainy day. 

“And are we goin’ for the matchin’ hat and belt buckle?” 

Picking up your sandwich again, you think for a moment.

“Cream-colored hat. Suede, of course,” you tell him, squinting. “With silver medallions all over it.” 

“And the belt?” 

“Silver concho, of course,” you answer. Your daddy has one--you used to drag it all around the house like it was a metal snake you’d chopped the head off of. You can still remember how heavy it was pressed into your palms, the loud noise it made as you heaved it across the hollow floors. “Even if it ain’t traditional--I don’t care. I’m a cowgirl, I’ll do whatever I damn well please.” 

“Who am I to stop you?” Jake says, laughing. “I’m the one buyin’ your getup.” 

It makes your throat warm. 

Jake doesn’t have two quarters to rub together. 

“You’re just tryin’ to get in my pants,” you tell Jake, mouth full of sharp mustard and salty meat and thin bread. 

He shrugs, grinning at you. 

“Tryin’?” He says softly. “Is it…workin’?”

Your cheeks flood but you still give him the gesture for so-so. 

The two of you are grinning at each other now. You both know what will probably happen after this: you’re gonna go upstairs to your bedroom, you’re going to take your pants off, you’re going to kiss, you’re going to touch each other, and then you’re going to go about the rest of your day like nothing happened. It’s what you’ve done the last few times, too. 

Jake knows you’re a virgin. He knows that he’s the first boy to ever kiss you with tongue or put his hand down your pants. He likes everything that the two of you do--more than he has with any of the other girls he’s fucked, even if they were more experienced than you--but there’s been a thought creeping into his thick skull for a few days now, one thick like like white fog rolling in. 

Is he going to be the one that takes your virginity?

He’s thought about it. He would, he definitely would. But he’s only ever had sex with one virgin and it was when he was a virgin, too. They were fourteen and high for the first time--he thinks her name was Grace Lynn or something like that--and it happened very quickly. There was no thinking about it, no talking about it: it just happened. 

He knows that isn’t how it will be with you--there has to be some sort of conversation, some sort of acknowledgement that he is taking your virginity. He’s worried to bring it up, afraid that it will spook you. He’s worried that he’s thinking about it too hard and that maybe you’re not planning on it at all. He’s worried that you just expect it or maybe haven’t even planned on it.

“Wanna go upstairs?” You ask, swallowing hard. Jake is being very quiet, his paper plate empty. “We don’t have to--!” 

“I want to,” he says. 

He meets your eyes and you blink at him a few times, trying to read that crease between his brows and the frown tugging at his lips. 

“What is it?” You ask. 

He knows he can’t avoid answering--you’ll either annoy it out of him by calling him piss-pants again or you’ll clam up out of stubbornness and he’ll cave. So he takes a deep breath in, lets his eyes fall to the dot of mustard on your plate, and shrugs. 

“How far’re we gonna go?” 

You’ve thought about it--of course you’ve thought about it. You don’t think you’re ready to have sex yet, but you don’t really know what it feels like to be ready. But you know that when you are ready, Jake will be there. He’ll be the one to take it. And it almost makes you ache because that is what people that are in love do--they take virginities and they’re nice about it and they’re slow with each other the way he is with you.

But then you worry that it will be too much for him--like he won’t want to cross that boundary, won’t want to put in all that effort into something that isn’t a real relationship. So, like him, you’ve just been marinating in the thought of it since all of this began not so long ago. 

“As far as you take it,” you tell him. You swallow hard, wring your hands together. “How far do you wanna take it?” 

He rakes his hands through his hair and sucks in a deep breath. 

“Bout as far as you want me to,” he says. 

It’s silly because the two of you have no issue telling people exactly what you want most of the time. You know that, he knows that. There is just a crucial disconnect happening between the two of you about this sex and love stuff, one born from fear of rejection and naivety. 

“You know I’m a virgin,” you say softly. You’re not embarrassed to say it--and you’re almost positive that he does know. “I mean, I’m sure you do.”

He nods. 

“And I know that you’re not. Obviously,” you continue. 

He nods again. 

“And you’re the first guy who’s done a lot of--well, you know that.” 

He nods, sinking his teeth into his bottom lip. 

“You just gonna stand there and nod, mustang?”

Jake sucks in a quivering breath. 

“Will things get weird if we have sex?” He almost blurts it out, gripping the flimsy linoleum countertop beside him to steady himself as you blink at him. 

Your heart is sitting heavy in your throat now, pulsing. You swipe your toe against the floor in a repetitive sweeping motion, trying to think about it. 

“Things haven’t gotten weird so far,” you say quietly. It’s the only thing you can think to say. “Don’t see why sex has to be any…different.” 

He clears his throat, nodding. Yeah, that makes sense. You’re making perfect sense.

“I mean, I think you’re pretty much stuck with me at this point either way,” he tells you. 

It diffuses almost all the tension--makes you roll your eyes and grin at him. Your chest doesn’t feel so tight anymore. 

“Plus, you know…you’re goin’ away soon.” 

There’s that little pain nicking Jake’s throat, the one that makes it hard for him to swallow. He doesn’t want to talk about him leaving--not right now. 

“What’s your point?” He says, raising a brow at you. 

There’s a faint blush covering your cheeks. You square your jaw and shrug very small.

“I don’t want to be the virgin that stays home,” you tell him. 

You’re telling the truth--the thought has kicked around your head here and there, especially now that you and Jake have been doing what you’re doing. You already have an innate feeling of otherness at the simple notion of all your friends leaving you behind--you don’t want to be left behind in the sex category, too.

“Filly,” Jake says, eyebrows knitting. 

You push his chest softly, smiling. You know he’s about to say something that’s mushy, something that will prance around the folds of your brain when you try to sleep. So, you won’t let him say it.

“Oh, I’m only kiddin’,” you say, rolling your eyes. 

You both know you’re not kidding--but Jake gives you this one.

But now Jake is just looking at you. Undeniably, you’re dirty right now. There’s a layer of dust over your dried sweat, your hair is in a disarray on top of your head, your shorts are still too damn big, your feet are bare, your hands are filthy. But he likes you just like this--smiling up at him, a twinge of pink on your cheeks. You’re fucking beautiful--you’re the kind of beautiful that doens’t make sense. 

You’re looking at him, too, letting your eyes wash over his serious eyes and his soft mouth. He’s already tan from working in the sun, his hair just a touch lighter than it was last month. And he’s got dust on his pants and strewn across his cheek like baking flour. He’s still holding onto the counter like he’s trying to steady himself. When your eyes fall to his fingers, heat pools between your legs.   

“Let’s go upstairs,” he says now. 

You just nod, saliva pooling on your tongue. 

Jake turns the radio on in your room, loud enough so that it won’t be silent but quiet enough that the two of you could hear someone coming if you needed to. 

Heaven On the Beach With You by Robert Lester Folsom is playing when you fall back on your bed with Jake’s mouth attached to yours.  

You still wear your tank top and neither of you wash your hands. 

But you sprawl out over your little bed, the unmade quilt bunching beneath you and suffocating your warm back. Jake hovers you, hardly able to fit himself on the bed while you’re in it, too. He’s panting already, his shirt discarded and his pants, too. He’s looking down at your swollen lips and the wet stains his lips have made against your throat. 

“You can--you can take my underwear off,” you pant, swallowing hard. 

The two of you have hardly done anything yet and you’re dizzy with pleasure. Even though your room is downright stifling right now, you’re almost drunk on the feeling of his bare skin against yours combined with the fact that you’re utterly alone with Jake. You feel, like all teenage girls do when alone with a boy, a bit invincible. 

“Okay,” Jake whispers. He pauses for a second, sitting back on his haunches. “Should I take mine off, too?” 

His heart is thumping in his ears, so loud that he can hardly hear you when you whisper a meek yes. God, he’s so hard that it hurts. He’s straining against his boxers, desperate for some form of contact. But he doesn’t want to push anything on you--doesn’t want to make you uncomfortable. 

There’s a bit of shuffling as he shimmies out of his underwear, letting it fall onto your floor beside your shorts and shoestring belt. You pull your own tired underwear off, your heart pounding, your throat hot. 

Then he faces you, on his knees again. And you’ve never seen a penis before--it makes your cheeks a bit red, but you make a point of looking at it. It’s Jake, all of him, and you grow wet at the sight of those veins and the rosebud color of his tip. Strangely, you feel very flattered by it--it’s a physical marker that he wants you. And that makes you want to roll your eyes into the back of your head. 

“Take a picture, why don’tcha?” Jake teases you. But his cheeks are pink too. 

You have your thighs pressed together and they’re tensing, the anticipation for what’s about to come tickling up your spine. This is the first time the two of you will have uninterrupted hours: the past few times, there was always a shift to get to or a parent in the next room or friends swimming just down yonder. But now it’s just you and it’s just Jake and your mama and daddy don’t get home until supper time. 

“I like it,” you tell him, biting your lip. You sit up on your elbows and he releases a breathy laugh. “It’s…pretty.” 

“Filly, did you just call my boner pretty?” 

Biting your lip harder, you nod, shrugging. 

“What do you want me to call it?” 

His palm is spread across your thigh now, very softly massaging it. He is biting a smile of his own as your eyes wash over him. Just knowing that you’re looking at him, just knowing that you’re going to touch him is making him even harder. It’s almost surreal knowing how close the two of you are right now. 

“Magnificent would do the trick. Glorious, too. I’d settle for big, though,” Jake says. 

You’re grinning at him, the flush fading from your chest. You’re glad that the two of you are talking as openly as you are right now--if things were quieter, you worry you’d get too in your own head about things. And you want this--you want this uninterrupted time with him and you want to explore his body and open yours up to him. 

“Don’t wanna give that head-a yours any more reason to inflate,” you whisper. 

And then, very slowly, you give in to the slight pressure of his palms and spread your legs for him. Immediately his breath hitches. Something ticks in his jaw and then he’s slowly moving to hover you again, letting his aching cock rest up against the bone of your hip. 

Your heart is thumping again, but you want this so bad that you think about moving his hand to your heat to jumpstart things. But he’s pressing his forehead against yours, letting his nose graze yours, before he closes the space between your lips. You aren’t sure that you’ll ever get over kissing him--how warm his lips are, how soft his mouth is, how smooth his tongue is, the taste of his saliva on your tongue. Jake is thinking the same thing--his cock hardening at the feel of your tongue tracing a steady line across his bottom lip, the way your breath feels when it puffs across his face. 

He can’t take it anymore, pulling back and resting his forehead against your temple, panting already. 

“Spit in your hand,” he whispers softly. It’s not much of a demand--if he thought you didn’t want to do it, he wouldn’t have said it. He knows you want to do it and he keens when you blink at him before bringing your palm to your mouth and spitting in your palm. “Yeah, like that. That’s good. Now, just wrap your hand around it and pump.” 

You’re quivering with red-hot want as you let your hand drift to the hardest part of him, the part that is pressed against your hip. When you wrap your hand around him, you’re surprised that his skin is so soft and warm, but even more surprised at the string of curses that fall from Jake’s parted lips. 

“Did I hurt you?” You ask, beginning to retract. 

Hastily, Jake shakes his head. His eyes are screwed shut and his forehead is wet against your temple. He’s hovering you still, pressing himself against you just right. 

“No--God, no. Not a bit,” he promises. He exhales, relishing in the wet warmth of your hand. “S’good the way you’re holding it. Spread all that spit around now.” 

You do as you’re told and he releases a throaty groan, his hips tensing into your hand. You’re growing very wet at the sounds he’s making, at the way they’re thrumming straight to your cheek and down to your core. 

Then you start pumping, keening when he gasps and moves to hold the back of your head. He’s kissing you, barely able to move his mouth except to gasp and whimper. There’s a heat flooding you just knowing that you’re making him like this--you’re melting him into the bed practically. 

“Good?” You breathe into the kiss. 

He nods, holding onto your hair tightly. 

“S’good,” he promises, his voice pitched.

He reaches down then, lets his hand drift over your belly, then lets his fingers graze your folds. Fuck--you’re so wet that it makes his hips involuntarily buck up into your palm. You would feel so good wrapped around him; it would be the closest the two of you have ever been and he feels high just thinking about it. 

“Oh,” you gasp when he presses down and lets his middle and index finger gather wetness. It feels remarkably good, especially with your hand wrapped around his cock the way it is right now. 

Jake is moving his fingers quickly across your wetness, basking in the silky way you feel against his fingers. You’re panting into his mouth and he’s drawing in every breath quickly, devouring you. He’s holding onto you tightly, keeping you close, crashing his forehead against yours as you pump him. 

It isn’t the best handjob he’s ever gotten--but to be fair, he’s gotten a lot of handjobs--and you don’t know exactly what you’re doing and he knows that. But there’s something about it that makes this the best sexual encounter he’s ever had; he isn’t sure if it’s fifteen years of yearning or all that misplaced love he has for you that sits in his throat or if it’s just because you’re thoroughly alone together right now. But this is the best he’s ever felt in his life and he never wants to stop. 

“Spit again,” he whispers to you, panting still. 

He doesn’t stop moving his fingers, nudging your clit on every hasty upstroke. You’re trembling as you bring your hand to your mouth and spit into it again, attaching yourself to his cock again as your chest heaves. 

Carefully, he slows his pace against your cunt. You’re still panting, eyes screwed shut and brows knit. But then he lets his middle finger trace along your silk until it falls into you just a bit further. You gasp at the sensation, your thighs trembling, your hand stilling and he freezes. 

“Is this okay?” He pants. 

You don’t open your eyes, just nod and let your teeth sink into your lower lip. 

“Yeah,” you tell him, tongue thick with saliva.

He presses his finger into you just a bit more, his jaw tensing when he feels the warm wetness that is you. You, his best friend and the girl he’s been in love with his entire fucking life, and your wetness wrapped around his finger to his first knuckle. 

It feels foreign, but good--this is the first time you’ve ever had anything inside of you.  Not only are you dizzy from the deep sense of pleasure that’s washing over you, but from the simple fact that this is Jake. This is Jake’s hand and Jake’s finger and his body is pressed up against you and things feel so fucking blindingly good right now. 

When you start pumping him again, it is with a quicker pace now. You have already learned when you’re supposed to spit in your hand and Jake moans when you do it a few times without him asking you. There is sweat covering your bodies and his finger is slowly pumping in and out of you, dipping into your core and nudging that smooth spot inside you that makes your mouth go dry. 

Jake can feel an orgasm rapidly approaching, so much so that his cheeks are red and his hips are flexed and his hand movements are starting to stutter. He’s still holding your hair, keeping your face pressed up against his. 

“I’m gonna--oh, fuck, I’m gonna cum,” he whispers and it’s the closest you’ve ever heard him get to whining. 

“Okay,” you answer, swallowing thickly. 

And with another pump, he falls into you, cumming with a grunt as silk ribbons spread out over the little bit of your belly that pokes out beneath your tank-top. And he stays on top of you and you stop pumping and lay there, his head in the crook of your neck, grinning up at the ceiling. You’re elated--you feel so old suddenly, so blissfully adult. 

“Oh, my God,” he mumbles into your hair, drunk on the scent of oranges on your skin. “Jesus Christ.” 

Reaching up, you let your fingers graze his locks softly. He’s growing his hair out this summer and you love it--love how shaggy it looks already and how blonde it’s getting beneath the Texas sun. 

“How was it?” You ask, cheeks pink.

“Fuckin’ incredible,” he mumbles. 

The grin is spreading, capturing all your features now. You’re endlessly pleased. 

He blinks a few times, his vision still white. Then he feels your chest tightening as you begin to giggle. He pulls back, looks at you, and you’re turning red trying not to laugh out loud. 

“What?” He asks, a smile tugging at his lips. 

“I don’t know,” you answer honestly, shaking your head. A few giggles bubble from your lips before you can bite. “I’ve never done any of that before.” 

He rolls his eyes, but he’s smiling now. 

“You don’t say,” he says mockingly. “Probably shouldn’t get a case of the giggles after making a boy cum.” 

But that breaks you entirely--you’re hiccuping out laughter, throwing your head into the pillows and letting it ring through your small bedroom. His cum is still sitting on your belly and you’re careful not to let it fall onto the sheets, but you’re still laughing all the same. 

He can’t help it--he starts laughing, too. How could he not when you’re in stitches right before him? 

“You’re a real piece of work,” he says to you, grinning.

You tug at his locks very softly, biting your lip. 

“Uh huh,” you agree, sighing. A beat passes and he just shakes his head at you amusedly, chewing on his lower lip. “Let’s do that again!” 

✯ 𝐚/𝐧: eeek! honestly, I know this story has gotten less engagement than Landslide/my oneshots, but I love it! it's gonna take a really fun direction and I've worked hard on it! remember to reblog and comment if you liked this piece! I'll give you a smooch if you do!

✯ 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫

✯ 𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐛𝐨𝐚𝐫𝐝

✯ 𝐜𝐥𝐢𝐜𝐤 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐚𝐝𝐝𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐒𝐢𝐥𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐒𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐭𝐚𝐠 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

✯ 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐬:

@violetta-ximena

@hazyretina

@illicithallways

@callsign-cacti

@chicomonks

@royalpurplehuskies

@widemiffyhappy

@djs8891

@shari_berri

@dempy

@ofxinnocence

@jmitxhieo

@jstarr86

@myfaveficrecs

✯ 𝐢𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐚𝐝𝐝𝐞𝐝/𝐝𝐞𝐥𝐞𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐬, 𝐃𝐌 𝐦𝐞!

[cryptidsofwakemoor]

Chapter 6 - Now and Den

On his way back to his hiding spot, Matchstick encounters the Silver Fang once more, in the process of building a new den for itself. However, a surprise is waiting for him when he gets back to his own.

Is it... normal for giant forest cryptids to feel sorry for you?

~*~

Mystic

Running back into the woods, he’s a lot more lucid this time around. The wonders that fresh(ish) water and food could do! He can even see faint scorch marks where his hands had dug into the earth whenever he tripped and dragged himself up again, singeing it from the stress. That was no good- obvious tracks. A few kicks at the soil was enough to erase the evidence.

While jogging, it occurred to him that his hidey-hole might not be safe and secure anymore. The former occupant had returned. Clearly they made the original den. Granted, they left him there and didn’t aggress, but was it worth the risk to piss off a big creature for a hole in the ground?

-and before he could reach the spot he’d marked (with a subtle singe mark on a tree bough), his travails through the woods are interrupted by the sight of a big silver tail, sticking out of the earth and draping over the ground. Every now and then, big puffs of dirt are thrown out into the air behind it, forming a pile of turned earth past the stocky silver-shingled legs.

Shit. This thing was still here. And it was- digging? This wasn’t the spot where he’d found the hole. Was it making a new one?

Spooky

Whatever it was hadn't seemed interested in eating him, but he was still hesitant to get too close. If it was making a new hole, maybe it truly had abandoned the other one after finding him in it... but who the hell knows, it wasn't like he could ask.

Nervously biting his lip, he did his best to move stealthily behind the trees, past where the huge creature was snuffling and burrowing. He probably didn't have to worry about making noise so much, since it seemed pretty busy and its head was literally underground at the moment, but he still crept as quietly as he could... and then took off running towards his hiding spot once he felt he was far enough past that point.

Man, he was gonna need to plan out another route to that house if he didn't wanna keep running into that thing...

But that was a problem for future him.

For now, it was back to his- ...giant... very conspicuous pile of discarded food trash that wasn't there earlier.

He slowed to a stop and just stared at it. Holy shit, had he really eaten that much food since hiding out there? Didn't feel like there was nearly that much trash in there, but it was also dark so it was not like he could tell. The tunnel had some freshly scraped up earth at the bottom of it, and the same went for the inside floor of the den. All empty now, save for big sweeping claw marks that were a dead giveaway as to which giant silver armor-plated creature had done this.

....But why, though?!

Mystic

No answers were forthcoming from the trash pile, which was his only company. Maybe it was just meticulous about keeping clean burrows. Hopefully that didn’t mean it was coming back.

…and now that it was in isolation, and he’d had a good face washing while guzzling down that pond water, boy did it stink. He’d been sleeping in that. He must smell awful.

scrnkkkkk

Oh wow, THAT was a loud noise. Some sort of- dirt grinding sound? It was coming from back the way he came, where the creature was digging.

shfff shf-shf

Leaves rustling. Or being removed.

What in the hell was it-

thnk thd thshf

Fuck, it was coming back!

Spooky

He was about to go back in the hole for a second, but stopped himself, realizing he'd just be trapped in there again, and instead he ducked behind the small mountain of trash. He quickly regretted that choice when the smell hit him even more strongly, and he backed up with a grimace not unlike the one the creature had made when sniffing him earlier.

As the creature came into view, he panicked, looked around, and scurried behind the nearest tree instead, still not really realizing that his eyes were still cartoonishly visible as he peeked out from behind it. He kept forgetting that little detail...

Mystic

Soon enough, the creature returns from the other clearing where it had been digging the second hole. It walks with a strange gait that felt almost- awkward? The front claws were held up off the ground, as it stepped with the slouched posture of an eighty-year-old. In those strange paws it clutched a small, lightly dirty set of plastic bags- one empty, and the other bulging with unknown contents. The head swiveled back and forth, making a half-hearted check of the area, before it takes hesitant steps once again. It didn’t appear to notice him yet.

Satisfied, it slunk back towards the hole in the ground. Making a low rumble in its throat, it peeks into the hole. Seeing nothing, it backs up, and drops the bag containing things unknowable right at the hole entrance. With the remaining empty bag, it turns toward the trash pile. Turns out he made a good judgement call, as the silver beast lays out the plastic- and begins shoveling it with its massive clawed paws onto the plastic sheet. They definitely weren’t enjoying this, as their muzzle scrunches up in disgust once again. Oh yeah, he definitely smelled like garbage if it made that face at him.

Upon scooping all trash remnants into a pile, it then sits on its haunches, and begins the delicate process of pulling the corners of the bag up to cinch it closed… odd. That was a very human gesture for a distinctly non-human beast to do. Regardless, it struggles, grunting in annoyance any time its claws pierce the bag.

All finished, it picks up the freshly wrapped garbage, turns to leave-

-and stops dead in its tracks, making eye contact with him.

Spooky

It didn't help he'd leaned out further, trying to get a good look at what it was doing. Seeing it work so meticulously with giant claws was quite a sight... Though he wasn't entirely sure what it was doing with all that trash. The closest comparison he could make was whenever he caught a glimpse of those humans with those big plastic buckets, pulling similar bags out of the smaller buckets around the lab and gathering them up to wheel them away to... somewhere.

He watched it heft up the huge bag and start to carry it off- did it want the trash for some reason?- but he realized too late as it stopped and stared right at him that he wasn't being as stealthy as he thought he was. He looked back up at it nervously, eyes blown wide and his mouth drawn into a tight line as he slowly tried to move back behind the tree. Like that would actually work.

Mystic

As he ducks back into hiding, the thing takes slow steps of its own in retreat. The plastic bag of garbage fumbles in its grip- amazing it even managed to hold it to begin with- and it drops with a clatter of junk.

It glances from the garbage bag, to him, then back to the other bag it left behind, then to him again. Then back to the unknown bag on the ground.

In a swift movement, it ducks its head down behind the second bag, and extends its neck to push the bag across the grassy earth in his direction. The very next moment, it quickly grabs the garbage bag- in its mouth, this time, revealing a jaw full of sharp teeth. Dropping down to all four limbs, it pivots, and takes off at a swift sprint back the way it came. Branches crunch and leaves rustle in its wake, before it vanishes completely from hearing and sight.

Spooky

He watched it trundle off into the woods, his mouth slightly agape, before he looked at the bag it left behind.

So... it was leaving something for him? This giant creature was trying to give him something. Was that... a normal thing for forest creatures to do? ...Man, he didn't know shit about wild animals, but that didn't seem like something that was supposed to happen??

He really wasn't used to being given something at all, let alone from a huge beast that looked like it could eat him. Especially with a mouth fulla sharp teeth like that... He poked at his own teeth with his tongue. He had some sharp ones too, and he'd put them to use easily enough in opening some of those metal liquefied food cylinders that he found in that big building with the locked food boxes behind it, but... They still weren't nearly big and sharp as those.

...

Oh right, bag.

Well, only one way to find out what was in it... He knelt down next to it and opened it up.

Mystic

Opening the plastic bag proved to be less of a challenge than anticipated. The moment he gave it any kind of slack, the opening was practically forced open from the inside, as something that had been compressed within is given release. A plush square of linen pops out, filled with some sort of soft stuffing. It squishes pleasingly under his touch.

Underneath the small explosion of pillow softness was a pile of more fabrics- thicker, and stitched together in patterns. Pulling it free revealed that it was a very wide rectangle of this cloth, and also soft to the touch.

It left him soft things, and took the pile of trash with it. Huh.

He had lost his previous nesting material, but...

Spooky

These seemed like a pretty good trade!

It was almost fascinating how soft this material was. And squishy. He gave the plush square a few more pokes, before pressing his whole hand into it. Removing his hand, though, he was surprised to see it kind of expand back into the shape it was in before. Guess that was how it fit in the bag...

This was... kind of exciting, really! He could only just barely remember something like this at the lab, from way back when he was still small… A semi-soft rectangle that he used to sleep on, at least before he outgrew it. It had been so long that he’d almost completely forgotten…

Aware that he was still in the open, though, he quickly scooped up the materials- along with the bag, figuring it might be useful for carrying things later even if he couldn't quite fit the soft stuff back in it- and squirreled them away into the den.

It still smelled a little bad down there, but probably not as much as before... But whatever, it was safe. He plopped down with the soft material, letting it fall in his lap. The big cloth wasn't as squishy as the square was, but it felt nice to run his hands over. It also made his legs feel warm beneath its cover, or at least kept away the subterranean chill. Mostly though, he loved this squishy thing. He was quick to pick it back up and smoosh his face into it. It made him feel a little silly, and a rare smile quirked up at the corners of his mouth as he let out a small, raspy chuff of a laugh.

Pulling it away from his face, he wrapped his arms around it and squeezed it against his chest, resting his chin on top of it with a relaxed sigh. This felt nice...

Mystic

There was no mistaking it- that big silver thing definitely left these for him, as some sort of present. Something to replace the trash pile as far more suitable bedding. Why, he could only guess. Perhaps it was taking pity on him, after seeing its old den filled with trash and a teenager that stank of rotten food.

...he's sunk quite low, for a forest creature- questionable intelligence notwithstanding- to take pity on him.

But then, was it truly wild? It behaved in much the same way that a human from the town would. There were mannerisms in its behavior that were far more sentient than a simple animal.

A full meal, thirst quenched, and soft squishy things acquired for his safety den. For once, he felt satisfied, and... safe.

Spooky

Wild forest creature or not... Whatever that huge beast was, it seemed better than people. Way nicer, anyway. He remembered all the false promises of 'helping him' he was fed back in the lab, when they only ever seemed to hurt him instead. Even if the big silver thing was only helping him because it felt bad for him, at least this felt like actual help.

It gave him a lot to think about, but after spending a good chunk of his waking moments today feeling like he was gonna die, only to end up snuggling up in soft materials with his stomach finally feeling sated for the time being... Yeah, a lot had happened, and needless to say, he was feeling pretty tired...

Still sitting with his back against the wall, he pulled the blankets up around himself and curled up around the pillow, finally feeling safe enough to get some much needed rest.

~*~

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New reader? You can start here!

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 340: Now Where Were We

Previously on BnHA: Deku and Iida were all “hey Mei, I know you don’t have a lot of spare time in between constantly launching yourself at people boob-first, and singlehandedly MacGuyvering U.A. into the fucking Death Star, but we were wondering if you could lend us a hand in fixing our costumes.” Mei was all, “sure thing, here’s an upgraded pair of Movie 1 Gloves for you, anyways off you go and have fun saving the world!” Mt. Lady was all, “can you kids keep a secret?? so uh, just between you and me, I’m not a real teacher, and I’m not actually sure what I’m doing here hanging out with you guys right now.” Class 1-A was all, “don’t worry, your secret is safe with us Mt. Lady, well anyways time to assemble our CLASS 1-A SEARCH SQUAD!” The chapter ended with A BUNCH OF DIFFERENT PEOPLE getting ready to DO and/or TALK about A BUNCH OF DIFFERENT THINGS. Classic cliffhanger ending. lol this chapter really did not hold up on a re-read. I’m so sorry BnHA 339. You meandered so that future chapters could hopefully get to the damn point already.

Today on BnHA: All Might is all “time to reveal our shocking and completely unpredictable battle plan of splitting up all the villains for more easily digestible mini-boss battles, using our newly acquired trump card, the handy dandy U.A. traitor!” Aizawa is all, “[cracks knuckles] time to drop some motherfucking love and compassion onto my traumatized student in order to talk him into doing this INSANELY DANGEROUS TASK for us, except that somehow I manage to do it in a way that’s genuinely moving and heartfelt and somehow not manipulative at all lol.” Shinsou is all, “hello, it’s me, making my miraculous return after three whole years of plot inactivity, so anyway what have I missed.” Well shit. Glad I’m not the only one, Shinsou.

---

(just a handful of quick notes here since it’s been a while! (1) as always, these are my completely blind first-time-reading reactions to the chapter. (2) as of today, I am very much NOT caught up with the manga, but will keep you posted on my progress. currently I have read up to chapter 340, a.k.a. this chapter right here lol. and (3), I have been spoiled about one major thing (explained more in depth here) which will happen later in the series, and while there are no detailed references to said spoiler in this post, there ARE a couple of vague throwaway lines because I have absolutely no self-control. so just giving you guys a heads up for that! if you absolutely don’t want to risk getting spoiled, I would highly recommend catching up with the manga first before reading any further.

anyways, onward!)

OH MY GOSH IT’S SOME BUILDINGS!!!

WHAT A THRILLING WAY TO KICK OFF MY FIRST NEW CHAPTER OF BNHA IN ELEVEN MONTHS. TRULY HIT THE GROUND RUNNING

lol they literally just thumbtacked a handwritten “LOV/PLF COUNTER-FORCE HQ” sign on a wrinkled piece of paper next to the door. how far we have fallen from the days where the heroes were holding their war councils in huge NASA ground control rooms filled with hundreds of TV screens

okay good, at least they went out and recruited Hawks to be one of the people presumably planning this whole thing

one of only two people (the other being Momo) whom I actually trust to be able to come up with a reliably smart plan. fingers crossed this turns out better than his last big Ultimate Hero Final Battle Plan, though!

interesting! I assume they do still know about the whole Aoyama situation though, seeing as they even told Mt. flippin’ Lady lol

OH MY GOSH, RAGDOLL? heck yeah. great to see her finally back in the thick of things again. even if she can’t participate in the actual battle, she’s still a fucking hero goddammit

wow this entire next page sure is something

“every pre-cat-ion” breaking news, we’ve just been informed that there is a warrant out for Caleb Cook’s arrest

MEOW

MYEAH?

NOT YOU TOO, HAWKS

EVIL MEOW

I know that last part is just her randomly tacking her cute dattebayoisms onto the end of this entirely unrelated sentence, but unfortunately the damage has already been done. now all I can think about is the League of Villains out there rampaging in the streets and meowing menacingly at people

anyway, so on to the planning and stuff

lmao wait, what

DID YOU PAINT THESE BY HAND, ALL MIGHT?? DID YOU BUY THEM LAST MINUTE ON ETSY AND PAY A FORTUNE IN EXPEDITED SHIPPING. surely it must be the latter. but can you just imagine All Might sitting at his kitchen table at 3am, hand-painting a refrigerator magnet to look like an adorable chibified version of HIS MOST HATED ENEMY

hmmmmmmmmmmmm

I’m actually on the fence about this lol. I mean, it makes sense on paper. lord knows they had enough trouble taking on just one massively overpowered final villain, so who even knows what would happen if they added a second one to the mix

but the problem with the “just take them down separately” plan is that it means they’ll also have to split up their OWN forces, which are already heavily depleted. not to mention that the BnHA heroes are always at their best when they’re all fighting together. so anyways, yeah, I’m not too sure about this

so blah blah blah, Tomura is now stronger than crusty!potato!AFO, big surprise. and they’ve also figured out that the two AFOs can communicate with each other via radio waves or whatever. okay yeah, but doesn’t that mean that even if you do split them up, they’ll still have a big advantage? unless you figured out some way of jamming their telepathy somehow

“should they attack together, we have no hope of victory” lol if you say so. I’m pretty sure all of the U.A. kids combined with all of the remaining A-list heroes could hold their ground fairly well, but clearly I’m not supposed to be questioning the authority of this statement so ALL RIGHT THEN

OKAY BUT DOESN’T THIS JUST PROVE MY POINT THOUGH

“if they’re so powerful together then why didn’t they team up against S&S?” “because they definitely would have definitely lost.” ????????

anyway so now All Might is saying that they need to separate TomurAFO and Potato AFO (PotAFO, if you will) by at least 10km. so is that the max range of their telepathy or something then? that’s so oddly specific though

“oh and we also need to split up Dabi from them as well” ah okay lol, I see where this is going. it’s finally time for the final battle, meaning we need to assign each of the main characters to their personal final villain, yeah? great. awesome. except that they only JUST got reunited all together as a class again sob. you’re really going to do this to me again now?? just like that?? goddammit

LMAO I completely forgot that Nao’s right hand man is an actual literal fucking cat

oh my god. what I wouldn’t give to have seen his reaction to all of those puns and MEOW shenanigans from a few minutes earlier. just standing there in the corner with a disapproving frown. “I’ll have you know I find this all very demeaning and culturally insensitive” sorry about that Sansa

anyway so now All Might is all “YEAH EXACTLY, WE HAVE TO DIVIDE AND CONQUER ALL OF THE VILLAINS ONE ON ONE! WHAT DO YOU THINK WE SPENT ALL THAT TIME PAINSTAKINGLY BUILDING THEM UP FOR?? IT’S THE FINAL BATTLE FOR FUCK’S SAKE, WHAT ELSE WOULD YOU HAVE US DO, MAKESTE” okay okay fine I’ll shut up now, geez

oh shit lol

somehow I momentarily forgot all about Aoyama. possibly because I haven’t seen him in eleven months!! so this is where we’re finally going to get into the nitty gritty of that “let’s use Aoyama to set a trap” plan that Aizawa shamelessly stole from Kaminari all those moons ago

All Might is all “it’s actually pretty messed up of us to be using this poor boy when he’s already basically spent his entire life being exploited and manipulated by people” and he’s not wrong though, damn

but Nao is all “very true, but to be fair this is the literal apocalypse, and he did technically make his own bed, and also our backs are REALLY against the goddamn wall here,” which is also true. still leaning more toward All Might’s side in spite of that, though. poor Yuuga

OH SHIT, SPEAKING OF???

OH DANG

do they really have to keep him tied up like that?? he’s just a kid for fuck’s sake. and it’s not like they aren’t capable of handling things if he does try to escape, I mean this is Aoyama we’re talking about here, he’s not exactly an all-powerful criminal mastermind

man they both look so fucking sad. Yuuga looks so ashamed. this is every 1-A child’s worst fear. they can go toe to toe with the scariest villains out there and not be fazed. but a disappointed dad??? have mercy, sweet jesus

“so after going back and forth on it a bunch, we finally decided that he’s probably not going to blow up.” thanks for the update, doc. meanwhile I just had a completely unrelated thought about certain spoiler related things, oh fuck. but now is not the time to start speculating about that! not when we have the world’s saddest detention session unfolding right before our eyes

Aizawa Shouta is sitting here wearing an eyepatch and a hospital gown and probably hasn’t showered in like three days, and despite all this he is STILL somehow the hottest character in BnHA and it’s not even close

okay but there are like a thousand reasons why the threat of imminent murder would be infinitely more useful than an actual murder, though. like this doesn’t really make any sense. “why would AFO bother to threaten Aoyama if he could simply blow him up if and when he betrayed him?” uh, gee, maybe because he would much prefer if Aoyama didn’t actually betray him in the first place?? what, do you think U.A. traitors are so fucking easy to come by? in this economy??

awwww

I mean, of course he is? :( man, and now I’m wondering if there’s been a single day since his enrollment at U.A. that Aoyama has not spent being constantly terrified about a whole damn slew of things. this poor fucking kid. Horikoshi please be kind to him oh my god

oh my god, yes, exactly

he’s afraid that deep down he’s a bad person. he’s afraid that AFO will kill him. but interestingly, what he’s most afraid of, is BEING afraid. he’s afraid that if the others put their trust in him again, that when push comes to shove he’ll still be too cowardly to do what’s right

talk about ironic though. because to me, that’s a sentiment that basically confirms that he does have the heart of a hero deep down. I’m telling you guys, every single time you show me a character who is flawed and afraid, but is trying so hard to overcome their fears, and trying with all their might to become better, you will reel me in hook, line, and sinker every. single. time. seriously, how could you possibly not root for this kid now

OH MY GOD YUUGA NO

holy shit. hey Horikoshi, this is me, a certified angst-lover, asking you to tone it down just a little here, goddamn. yes we get it, he is tormented by years’ worth of accumulated fears and regrets and feelings of worthlessness and he doesn’t see any way that things can possibly get better, holy shit, we get it okay??? THIS IS MY FIRST CHAPTER IN ELEVEN MONTHS! THIS SHOULD BE AN OCCASION OF TRIUMPH, SO WHY THE HELL ARE YOU OUT HERE MAKING ME CRY

HOLY SHIT

somehow I forgot just how utterly ruthless this man is capable of being for the sake of his students. this is a dude who literally expels kids on a regular basis just to put the fear of god into them. also he is seriously so goddamn hot. it’s straight up ridiculous

oh wow this whole page just came straight for my heart

Yuuga’s fear as he tries to talk himself into what he fully believes is a suicide mission. Aizawa’s blunt assessment of the heroes being no less ruthless than the villains when their backs are to the wall. but then the way he just HITS him with that “you’re still my student and I’m still your teacher” line, and how he says it with such finality. and then the face Aoyama makes in response!!

OKAY, WOW

ABSOLUTELY NONE OF THIS IS FAIR YOU KNOW!! YOU CAN’T JUST HIT ME WITH THIS BRUTALLY SIMPLE PANEL OF THE TWO OF THEM JUST SITTING THERE WITH ALL OF THE OTHER VISUALS STRIPPED AWAY SO THE FOCUS IS ENTIRELY JUST ON THEM, AND WITH THE WALL BETWEEN THEM ALSO SYMBOLICALLY REMOVED JUST LIKE THAT

AND YUUGA BEING SO SMALL. AND AIZAWA BEING SO STRONG AND SAFE AND STABLE AND FIRM, AND HIM HAVING SUCH UNCONDITIONAL LOVE AND COMPASSION FOR HIS STUDENT DESPITE EVERYTHING. “FUCK THAT, YOU’RE GONNA HAVE A HAPPY ENDING BECAUSE I FUCKING SAID SO AND I’M YOUR SENSEI AND THAT’S FINAL.” okay yep. tears coming now. thanks a lot, Horikoshi. wow. just wow

lol I truly believe that if Horikoshi ever did truly try to kill off one of the 1-A kids, Aizawa would literally come to life and emerge from the pages and straight up murder him

welp. there you have it. absolutely no room for argument there. SENSEI SAID YOU’RE GONNA LIVE, YUUGA, SO I GUESS YOU’LL JUST HAVE TO DEAL WITH IT!

fsdljkf

yep. that’s right. deal with it. dlfkj don’t mind me I’m just gonna sit here dissolving into sobs again

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS WARM FOND EXPRESSION GODDAMMIT

I AM ALREADY A PILE OF MUSH, HOLY HECK!! CAN I LIVE. CAN YOU JUST LEAVE ME BE HERE ALREADY HOLY SHIT

wait what

uh. the path of “none of you problem children are allowed to die on my watch, are we fucking clear on that”? that path?? or the path of marching headfirst into very real danger because they have no other choice, because they’re one of the lynchpins in the heroes’ desperate plan? because that latter path is one that I’d prefer to have as few children walk as possible, ngl

-- OH MY GOD

“HELLO, SHINSOU HERE” UH, EXCUSE ME, MISTER, DON’T YOU HAVE ANYTHING TO SAY TO ME? AFTER BEING MIA FOR LIKE A HUNDRED AND TWENTY CHAPTERS AND FOUR AND A HALF ARCS?? YOU’RE JUST GONNA HANG HERE FROM THIS FUCKING TREE ALL NONCHALANT, WITH YOUR FANCY NEW HERO COSTUME AND YOUR SPIDER-MAN POSE THAT YOU STRAIGHT UP RIPPED OFF FROM YOUR DAD?? WHILE SAID DAD SITS THERE CHUCKLING OVER HIS “NEVER FEAR, WE’RE TOTALLY PUTTING SHINSOU IN AMPLE DANGER AS WELL” REVEAL? “DON’T WORRY AOYAMA, WE’RE NOT JUST RISKING YOUR LIFE, WE’RE RISKING MULTIPLE CHILDREN’S LIVES, BUT WE’RE DOING IT ALL TOGETHER AS A FAMILY” truly the most heartwarming of sentiments lmao

well damn. that hype and anticipation is definitely starting to build now. I am so damn fearful for all of these fictional kids’ safety, especially now that I’m watching the War arc play out again in the anime and remembering just how brutal it was. but at the same time I can’t deny that I’m super excited to see the culmination of everything. like, this is IT, though. this is THE moment, THE battle. no more safety arcs. no more training. we are done holding back, and that is as terrifying as it is exhilarating. I am so not ready for any of this, but IT IS HAPPENING WHETHER I LIKE IT OR NOT, so I guess I’ll just do my best to enjoy the ride

-- oh and lastly, I almost forgot. before we wrap up, there’s just one last thing I wanted to add here...

so it begins.

[gayweedanimal]

Since I gotta be up for work in like 3 hours and can't sleep I might as well talk new years resolutions. Here's mine:

Long ass post so I'm readmore

Read every day: I've been collecting books for a while now and have a huge backlog of super interesting stuff to read. The only thing holding me back is making time to do it.

Write every day: Similarly, I have too many half baked projects/ideas that I need to actually finish. The perfectionist in me has been keeping me from finishing things for years, and for what? Fear of putting out something bad? Some of my favorite things in the world are bad. I already put out bad art all the time, and I love it. I've been struggling with this part of myself for far too long and it's time for it to die.

Organize my information better: I'm a notorious note-taker, but they're always very disjointed and arcane. So I guess that means I'm a bad note-taker. I've been using Obsidian more and more over the last few months and been building better information collection habits to use it to its full potential. Sometimes the first step is just to accept that your memory is shitty and learn to efficiently externalize things. Building off of that...

Manage my time better: I have so much shit going on at any one time it's often overwhelming. ADHD and my various neuroses certainly don't help. I've been doing various things to work on this but I need to stick to them better.

Finish Somnium: I put out a whole one (1) episode last year because I dreamt too big with my episode plans and didn't have the tools to bring them to fruition the way I wanted to - I need to push myself to actually finish more. This year's goal is manageable - 4 episodes.

Learn Japanese: I just think it's a neat language. Maybe one day I'll visit Japan; there's so much I want to see there. I know that seems like a far flung dream right now, but life happens fast.

Work out more: not much to say here, I just need to keep up this habit and push myself harder to build strength.

Get my driver's license: I've almost always lived in areas where I've just never needed to drive, but now that my sister has her's I feel like it's finally time to check this box lol.

Make more money: it's getting harder and harder to keep things afloat (as I'm sure is news to absolutely nobody) even with my pretty decent full time job. I'm assuming I won't get a raise, and also hoping I won't get laid off, but even still I need to get some sort of consistent side hustle doing web design or something similar.

God this really seems like a lot when I write them all down... I'm going to stick to them though. I probably won't kick all of these off at once just to not burn myself out, but I'm gonna do them all.

I really can't live without being able to set goals and make progress on them anymore, even if the progress is slow, even if things slide backwards or I fall off for months or years. I lived with soul crushing suicidal depression for so long and it really made it difficult to believe that my life was worth living or that it was worth investing in my skills or my future. I know a lot of people still think that way and I'm not the best at helping them, and that what worked for me doesn't work for everyone. But seasons change, wounds heal, and in the end, it's always worth it to invest your time in bettering yourself and to keep moving ahead.

Man, I don't know where the fuck I was going with all that but I'm leaving it in. Also why the hell am I writing this long ass post... I barely post here anymore. Anyway fuck it I'm gonna try to sleep AGAIN wish me luck at work in... 2 and a half hours. Happy new year ya filthy animals.

[golddragon387]

Fanfic 20 questions!

Thank you to my brainrot bestie, my comrade in delusion, @resplendent-chungus for tagging me.

1. How many fics do you have on AO3?

12 at time of writing, which is certainly more than nothing!

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

72,197. Again, non-zero!

3. What fandoms do you write for?

That I've published, RWBY and Steven Universe. That I haven't... Miraculous Ladybug, Sunless Sea, Dark Souls, Discworld, Samurai Jack, Fullmetal Alchemist, Fire Emblem, the Locked Tomb...

A lot of things I've had thoughts on, I've written down those thoughts in prose somewhere. Maybe I should dust some of those off and share them. Hm.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Drabble Roulette (Steven Universe) is in my number 1 spot, but seeing as it was a shortfic collection I took part in with several friends, I'd hesitate to call it mine. With apologies to Chungus; we all did a short fic every week based on the same one-word prompt, and God we kicked ass.

Stress is Bad for the Baby (RWBY) is my number 2; it's a fun little oneshot where Yang crashes her airship while out on a mission and calls Blake, who is on maternity leave and antsy, about it.

Sleeping In (Steven Universe) is my number 3, a oneshot based on that "wake up sleepyhead" vine which I though was funny at the time. I'd still stand by it, even if the prose isn't exactly up to my current standards.

You Can Always Call On Me (Steven Universe) is my number 4, this one is (surprise surprise) a oneshot, which was based on my (at the time positive) reaction to the sequel series, SU Future. ...We'll just say there's a reason I stopped writing for that fandom after the finale, and leave it at that.

There is a Hell (RWBY) finishes out my top five, and is a fanfic of a fanfic, written for my aforementioned good buddy Chungus. give it a read, after you've read the fic it's based on, I Can Almost Hear the Hounds, then yell at us in the comments! We appreciate it!

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yeah. I like attention and I like talking about the thing I made with the people who read it. I comment on the things I read too, when I've got the energy.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

The aforementioned There Is A Hell, for sure. Pure Whump. Nobody is having a fun time at castle Evernight.

7. What is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Shit, I don't know... the majority of my stuff is oneshots, so there's like four angsty ones and six happy ones, I think? This question is better for someone more prolific.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

No.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yes and it is also unpublished. We'll see if that ever leaves the Mind Hole, too.

10. Do you write crossovers? If so, what's the craziest one you've ever written?

One of my unpublished WIPs is a massive crossover shoving the RWBY characters into basically the plot of Star Wars, featuring Ruby as Luke, Yang as Han but with Leia's personal history, Blake as Leia but Han's personal history, Weiss as a very reluctant imperial traitor, and Salem as the evil Emperor of the Galactic Empire. It's planned to cover the equivalent of the Original Trilogy. I really don't want to publish it until at least the New Hope-equivalent is done.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Nope, not popular enough for that.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

See above.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, though I've made overtures to a couple of friends but aside from the prompt roulette fic mentioned above, it's never panned out.

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

I'm not a huge ship guy... I'd call Connie & Steven from Steven Universe a very formative ship for me, however, and Ruby Rose & Penny Polendina from RWBY is the biggest thing I'm into right now.

15. What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Gosh, what isn't, for me? I have more words in unfinished, unpublished works than I do published ones by an order of magnitude. The big one, though, is a little something I like to call Another Stranger Me. Let's do the time warp again, baby.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Word choice/diction, and flow. I love prose and I love writing prose.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Finishing what I start. Help me ADHD medication, you're my only hope...

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

Not fluent enough in anything to be confident in it, though I don't usually mind it when I read, if it's done right.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Steven Universe, yup.

20. Favorite fic you've written?

Out of my published stuff? So Much For Stardust (RWBY). Now that's what I call an angsty oneshot!

Thanks again to chungus for the tag. Since I see mercy got you, I guess I'll tag... ah, @h-a-d-i-t-h-i, @loveluckylost, and @tunafishprincess. Have fun, gang!