#big fan of kicking england out of the UK to get The Cooler UK That's Not Actually A Kingdom

[greens-thearem]

personally, i think scotland and wales should be able to kyoshi island themselves. just drift off into the ocean so they don't have to deal with us shits

[obtusemedia]

In Ascending Order: Top 35 One Hit Wonders

For the most part, giant megastars seem to rule the pop universe, from Michael Jackson and Madonna in the 80s to Beyoncé and Taylor Swift today. There’s always been a B-List group too, full of semi-big names that cranked out hits, yet never had the longevity or the stand-out personality to become towering icons (modern-day equivalents of this group would be Alessia Cara, Demi Lovato, or Big Sean). 

Every era of pop has had its transcendent figures and workmanlike hitmakers, even the weaker time periods. What really makes a certain era of pop great is the fluke hits from fringe acts that faded away or suddenly disappeared. One-hit-wonders often get a bad rap, but some of our favorite all-time songs have been from no-name acts. There are even some one-hit-wonders that have had longer staying power than hit songs from A-listers.

For example: R&B legend Mariah Carey has notched 18 number-one songs on the Billboard Hot 100, and one of them was “Love Takes Time,” which topped the charts for three weeks in 1990. I’ve never heard it in my life (I’m just going to make an assumption that unless you or someone you know is a big Mariah fan, you probably haven’t either), yet some goofy early 90s novelty song by a band who never had another U.S. hit, is still instantly recognizable, quotable and...well, beloved might not be the word, but it’s certainly had a long shelf life. (Ed. note: I wrote this before Taylor Swift semi-sampled it, but now this is doubly true)

To honor these brief flashes of brilliance, I’m counting down my 35 personal favorite one-hit-wonders of all time. Fair warning: it’s heavily weighted towards the mid-80s, early-90s, and late-90s, all great times for silly bubblegum, which lend themselves well to one-hit-wonders.

A few base rules, because defining a “one-hit-wonder” can be tricky:

1) The Mike Posner Rule: No songs on this list released in the 2010s. Sure, ILoveMakonnen and Gotye are looking like one-hit-wonders now, but who would’ve thought that dork who released “Cooler Than Me” back in 2010 would have an even bigger hit (about being a one-hit-wonder, of course) in 2016? You gotta give these artists some time to potentially get another hit. Also, I refuse to acknowledge that my queen, Carly Rae Jepsen, is technically still a one-hit-wonder, because she is a pop genius. Listen to EMOTION.

2) The Jimi Hendrix Rule: Technically, some legendary acts, like Jimi Hendrix, Modest Mouse or Talking Heads have only had one major hit on the charts. Still, their impact stretches beyond the Hot 100, so they can’t count, as well as other legends who had bad luck getting radio airplay. 

3) The Britpop Rule: If they’re considered music gods in England, but only got one American hit, they don’t count. I refuse to penalize Blur or Oasis because Americans had bad taste in the mid-90s and didn’t give them more hits over here. FYI: This rule doesn’t count with non-UK countries, so being only big in Australia or Canada or the Vatican City is fair game. Sorry folks, England’s music scene, at least for the English-speaking world, is on a higher level.

4) The Macarena Rule: This list is based on quality, not how big the song was. If there’s a massive one-hit-wonder missing (like the Macarena), that’s because it’s probably tacky and I hate it (or it’s just okay).

5) The Justice Stewart Rule: When categorization gets tricky — does an artist’s second single that reaches 19 on the charts but is now forgotten count as a “hit?” — I’ll just resort to this: I know a one-hit-wonder when I see it. 

Let’s dig in.

Honorable Mentions:

“Maniac” by Michael Sembello (1983): Flashdance is wonderful. This song is wonderful. 80s soundtracks were wonderful. 

“MMMBop” by Hanson (1997): Those harmonies are weirdly gorgeous for a band that wound up being America’s warm-up for the Jonas Brothers.

“Unbelievable” by EMF (1990): Top-five jock jam ever. 

“It Takes Two” by Rob Base & DJ EZ Rock (1988): It probably should’ve been 3 instead of 5 minutes long, but that production is golden age hip-hop at its finest.

“Stuck In The Middle With You” by Stealers Wheel (1973): Catchy Bob Dylan ripoff with a nice little groove. Although I’m sure most of you non-Boomers probably just recognize it from Reservoir Dogs.

#35: “What’s Up?” by 4 Non Blondes (1993)

One of the more ridiculous songs on this list (and that’s saying something), and probably the most shameless song of the grunge era, “What’s Up?” is thought of as a bit of a joke. Huffington Post even called it the “worst song of the 90s,” which is insane to me considering what else came out that decade.

Besides, how bad can “What’s Up?” really be? Maybe it’s my awful taste speaking, but this kind of bangs in a super, super cheesy power-ballad sort of way. It’s like if Bon Jovi was told to write a bohemian version of one of their monster 80s hits. It’s also a perfect choice for karaoke: showy, theatrical, and emotional as hell. 

I get how 4 Non Blondes’ pseudo-granola vibe could make some people want to claw their ears off, but I can’t help it. It’s a guilty pleasure, and most of the best one-hit-wonders are.

And don’t forget: without “What’s Up?” we wouldn’t have this wonderfully silly early-YouTube gem.

#34: “Tubthumping” by Chumbawamba (1997)

DO NOT CLICK ON THE LINK UNLESS YOU WANT THIS STUCK IN YOUR HEAD FOR THE NEXT EIGHT MONTHS. 

“Tubthumping” basically serves as the last hurrah for Britpop: Pint-pounding English bluster with a snarky undertone, all rolled into one perfect little pop-rock nugget. Of course, Chumbawamba were actually radical anarchists, so they’d probably hate being compared to Supergrass and Suede, but still: This sounds like a dancier, simplified Oasis tune.

I’m a bit shocked at how something this nakedly British became a deathless classic in the U.S., but then I hear it, and I start yelling along to the chorus, and it all makes sense. There was no way something this maddeningly catchy and fun wouldn’t be massive, especially in the very-random late 90s. It’s a bit more subversive than your average jock jam, but in a way, that makes it even better. 

#33: “Word Up!” by Cameo (1986)

I’m not sure there’s a more criminally underrated 80s funk jam. Prince himself would’ve killed to write something with this slick of a robot groove. 

Of course, the super-catchy production and hook don’t carry the song alone: I absolutely adore singer Larry Blackmon’s nasally voice here. It sounds like he’s singing with his nose plugged, and it totally matches the ridiculous party vibe “Word Up!” is going for. Also, in the video, he wears a massive bright red codpiece. I can’t not give props for that. 

Don’t forget: LeVar Burton, star of Reading Rainbow, Roots, and that really great Community episode (“YOU CAN’T DISAPPOINT A PICTURE!!”) has a...wait for it...cameo.

I’m just saying, at your next wedding reception, maybe pass over the super-basic picks like the Cha-Cha Slide and throw on “Word Up!” instead. Trust me, it’ll get people moving.

#32: “My Sharona” by The Knack (1979)

When you look up “power pop” in the dictionary, there’s a 70 percent chance “My Sharona” will be the definition (30 percent chance it’s Cheap Trick). “My Sharona” is one of the most primal, timeless pop-rock tunes in history, with it’s super-simple riff and catchy-as-hell hook. Just maybe don’t listen to closely to the lyrics; they’re definitely about jailbait. 

Still, even with a semi-creepy story behind it, “My Sharona” has maintained as a 70s classic rock staple for a very good reason: It seems like it’s existed since the beginning of time. Also, points for a kick-ass guitar solo.

#31: “Return of the Mack” by Mark Morrison (1996)

The pinnacle of smooth-as-hell 90s R&B. Somehow, English singer Mark Morrison makes getting dumped and subsequently moping around sound like the coolest thing ever. The lyrics are straight out of an emo song, but Morrison’s Kermit the Frog-as-mafia-don vocals sound as assured as ever, and the production is made for slo-mo cruising down the street. Are we sure this guy is from the UK, and not New York?

No matter where it originated, “Return of the Mack” remains effortlessly suave over 20 years later, something that most songs on this list can’t claim. 

(Also, it inspired this really goofy Burger King ad, another thing most songs on this list can’t claim.)

#30: “Missing You” by John Waite (1984)

You know how there’s always that scene in 80s high school movies where the protagonist mopes around after he/she’s been in a fight with their crush? There’s always a super dramatic song playing in the background playing? I’m not sure “Missing You” has been used in that context, but it’s somehow the archetype anyways.

John Waite, who was also the lead singer of semi-successful bands The Babys and Bad English (so this is semi-cheating, but nobody in my generation remembers those bands, so I’m counting it), really sells this song about denial. Waite claims “he’s not missing you,” but you can tell that’s a bold-faced lie. In fact, he even admits this: “I can lie to myself” is repeated multiple times throughout the song. It’s fairly heartbreaking.

Sure, “Missing You” is a bit less silly than most one-hit-wonders, but sometimes, a serious artist only gets one hit, and Waite made the most of it.

#29: “Beds Are Burning” by Midnight Oil (1987)

In the middle of a list filled with a lot of supremely goofy songs, “Beds are Burning” is as deadly serious as lead singer Paul Garrett’s super-intimidating The Hills Have Eyes face.

“Beds Are Burning” is bluntly about Australia’s horrific mistreatment of Aborigines. The song repeatedly tells the listener, “It belongs to them/let’s give it back,” in reference to the land that the indigenous Australians were forced off of their land in the 1930s, 50s, and 60s. In other words, white Australians’ beds are burning because of severe guilt due to their mistreatment of aborigines. Heavy stuff for a catchy 80s pop-rock tune.

Still, “Beds Are Burning” features more than just an important message: It has a slinky cowboy groove, haunting vocals from Garrett, and a U2-esque anthemic chorus. Even if you don’t know what the song is about (which I didn’t at first), it’s still a masterful 80s alt-rock tune through and through. The lyrics just add another layer of brilliance.

Frankly, Midnight Oil might not deserve to be on this list, as they’re legends in their native Australia, but since the rest of the world knows very little of their music, we might as well celebrate their one worldwide smash.

#28: “I’m Gonna Be (500 Miles)” by The Proclaimers (1988)

How about something a little lighter? Well, you can’t get much more light-hearted than this proudly cheesy love song from the two most Scottish men alive. 

“500 Miles” is incredibly simple, but that’s a huge part of its power. This is the perfect song to lead the bar in a sing-along after a few drinks. Like “My Sharona,” it feels weirdly timeless. Can you imagine a world without this song? Without “I WOULD WHALK FIVE-HUNDRED MYLES AND I WOULD WHALK FIVE-HUNDRED MORE” blaring in your eardrums, super-thick Edinburgh accents and all? No, you can’t. “500 Miles” is an adorably innocent love song that’s absolutely deserving of its long shelf life and How I Met Your Mother references.

#27: “Tenderness” by General Public (1984)

This is a textbook one-hit-wonder: 80s new wave? Check! British? Check! Lead singer with a unique voice? Check! Way quirkier than your average Madonna single? Absolutely!

“Tenderness” wasn’t a massive hit at the time (27 on the Billboard Hot 100), but it’s achieved longevity through the same avenue that a lot of songs on this list have remained relevant: Being in beloved movies! In this case, Weird Science and especially Clueless, everyone’s favorite movie where step-siblings fall in love (yes, it’s still weird, I don’t care how hot Paul Rudd was).

Semi-incest aside, “Tenderness” is certainly one of the weirder 80s pop tunes around, which is saying something. The jangly-guitar and synth groove is almost reminiscent of New Order, or R.E.M. in the early 80s, but what really makes the song memorable is lead singer Dave Wakeling’s intense desire to find tenderness. He sounds legitimately panicked during the chorus: “WHERE IS IT?!?” That goofball weirdo charm is likely what’s helped “Tenderness” stick in people’s brains over 30 years later.

#26: “St. Elmo’s Fire (Man in Motion)” by John Parr (1985)

Alright, the competition is over. We’ve found it: the most 80s song ever recorded. 

“St. Elmo’s Fire” has a bit of everything: Massive hair-metal guitars! Drum machines! Overproduced synth lines! A fake keyboard brass section! And to top it all off, John Parr himself, who sings the cheesiest possible faux-inspirational lines with utmost sincerity and in all-caps. “You broke the boy in me/BUT YOU WON’T BREAK THE MAN!!” “Take me where the eagles fly/HIGHER AND HIGHER!!”

I’m dumbfounded how this super-intense pump-up jam wound up on the Brat Pack, talk-heavy drama of the same name. If anything, it sounds super-similar to most of the Rocky IV soundtrack, particularly John Cafferty’s runner-up entry in the “Most 80s song ever” sweepstakes, “Hearts On Fire.” It also bears more than a passing resemblance to fellow 80s-montage classic “You’re the Best Around.”

You know what all three of those songs have in common? They’re all supremely corny, dated, and absolutely perfect. “St. Elmo’s Fire” might be the best of the bunch, with Parr’s thunderous vocals perfectly complimenting the skyscraper-sized production. Sylvester Stallone must be kicking himself for not hiring Parr for Rocky V.

#25: “Jump” by Kris Kross (1992)

Generally, in the music world, prepubescent artists are bad news, but there are two major exceptions. One of those is (duh) the Jackson 5. The other? 14- and 13-year-old Atlanta rap duo Kris Kross and their timeless classic, “Jump.”

Sure, it’s a little awkward that two kids who are barely old enough to start staying up past 9 p.m. repeatedly call themselves pimps (what did you think a “mack daddy” was?), but the awkwardness is endearing. It also helps that Jermaine Dupri’s beat goes HARD. This is arguably better production than anything that other pop-rap stars of the time like MC Hammer or Will Smith got, and these two kids have enough charisma and decent flow to make it work. 

Sure, “Jump” is the Kidz Bop version of The Chronic, but let’s not pretend it isn’t a total banger.

#24: “867-5309/Jenny” by Tommy Tutone (1982)

This is a pitch-perfect bar-rock song. The lead singer isn’t that great, the chords are simple, but damnit, it works. Lead singer Tommy Heath’s limited vocals add to the pathetic everyman angle of the lyrics. 

I’m sure you know the story by now: A lonely guy finds the mythical phone number scribbled on the wall of a bar bathroom, and contemplates whether to call. It’s kinda sleazy, but also kind of creepy, considering how the singer sounds in love with a woman he’s never met (luckily, it’s a fairly self-aware song). 

“867-5309″ is just a no-bull, timeless power pop jam that should never go out of style as long as there’s shy guys who don’t know how to pick up the phone. 

P.S.: You haven’t truly lived unless you’ve tried calling the famous number. Unfortunately, the number doesn’t exist anymore in my area code, but you might get lucky.

#23: “In the Meantime” by Spacehog (1996)

I don’t know if this is embarrassing or not, but I only know this song because of Rock Band. To be fair, I’m willing to bet a lot of late Millennials like me discovered some of the forgotten hits of the 70s, 80s, and 90s through that game and Guitar Hero, so it’s probably not a huge faux pas.

Regardless, I’m so very happy Rock Band introduced me to the glam rock majesty of “In the Meantime.” In the mid-90s, where most rock music was either super-angsty, super-rootsy, or super-British, Superhog opted for a fourth route. Although the group’s members were all from the UK, their sound skewed less towards Britpop’s mod-era worship and landed closer to Ziggy Stardust-era Bowie. And they pulled it off big time: The Thin White Duke would be proud of a bonkers space opera like this.

It’s too bad Spacehog weren’t able to pull another cosmically stellar track like “In The Meantime,” with its crunchy guitars, soaring chorus, and sci-fi lyrics. 1996 America was more interested in Matchbox 20, I guess.

#22: “Video Killed The Radio Star” by The Buggles (1979)

This song both predicted and created the idea of the 1980s. As the very first song ever played on MTV, it was never a massive hit, only reaching 40 on the Hot 100, but it still is an iconic snapshot of when new wave reached the mainstream. It’s still well-known and referenced nearly four decades years later. It even was the main sample in a Will.i.am song (which was sort of a disaster, but also sort of wonderful).

Of course, it helps that the song is a perfect tune. The clash of the processed, robotic male vocals and the valley-girl female singers really created a unique sound that sounded both of the future and somehow retro at the same time. Although it does sound very dated, it’s the best kind of dated that sound continue to be a staple at 80s-parties as long as Gen X is around and kicking.

#21: “Closing Time” by Semisonic (1998)

There are few 90s anthems as perfect as “Closing Time.” It’s the best-possible version of the late 90s’ watered-down alt-rock. Yeah, it has zero edge, but that’s kind of expected: Semisonic were already all in their 30s before they finally notched a hit. Also, the song is about becoming a parent (the metaphor being that the womb is like a bar, and closing time would be...labor? Something like that), so it was never going sound like Nine Inch Nails.

That clever metaphor, coupled with singer/songwriter Dan Wilson’s arena-ready chorus and everyman vocals, makes “Closing Time” a perfect representation of alt-rock’s graceful aging into dad-rock (literally, in this case). It only makes sense that Semisonic released other fantastic pop-rock nuggets in the late 90s, none of which reached the heights of “Closing Time,” unfortunately.

Don’t feel too bad for Wilson, though: As a songwriter, he’s co-penned some tunes you might have heard of (okay, not the last one). He’s doing just fine.

#20: “Tainted Love” by Soft Cell (1981)

“Tainted Love” joins the ranks of “All Along The Watchtower” or “Hurt” as a song where the cover is the more famous version. Gloria Jones actually song the original version of the song back in 1964, and it featured a much fuller soul sound. It’s not bad, but think about this: The lyrics paint the picture of a person being tortured by an emotionally abusive partner. Wouldn’t cold, robotic synths match the mood a bit better than a sunny Motown vibe? 

Besides, Soft Cell’s new wave sound would work well with nearly any song they put their minds to. It’s tense, paranoid, and catchy as hell. “Tainted Love” is one of those songs ubiquitous with the early 80s for a good reason, and it doesn’t even need to resort to weird antics like so many other new wave hits of that era to grab your attention. The timelessly angsty melody and lyrics were already there, Soft Cell just provided a more appropriate and memorable framing. 

#19: “American Boy” by Estelle feat. Kanye West (2008)

“American Boy” is the audio equivalent of a first-class cross-Atlantic flight. It’s a perfectly smooth trip, from the mechanical, sleek electropop production (from will.i.am, of all people) to Estelle’s assured vocals. 

Honestly, this song was a genius idea: There was already an “American Girl,” why not flip the gender and turn the story into an international romance? Estelle perfectly slides into the role as the curious British outsider, while Kanye...well, if being American is to be brash, you don’t more brash than Yeezy. The Louis Vuitton Don’s verse tiptoes the line between corny and funny perfectly, as per usual for Kanye. 

Estelle, with her smooth vocals, is who really makes “American Boy” shine, however. The superstar guest verse is just extra whipped cream on the already-fantastic cake. 

#18: “The Impression That I Get” by The Mighty Mighty Bosstones (1997)

The late 90s really seemed like a happy-go-lucky time. It was pre-9/11, the economy was healthy, and the SuperSonics were one of the best teams in basketball (and still, you know, still existed). Another factor might be the silly, super-positive pop music of the era. After six or seven years of this, it made sense that pop radio would eventually flip to Sugar Ray and Smashmouth by the end of the decade. It’s hard to stay angsty forever.

“The Impression That I Get” fuses the time period’s carelessly cheerful attitude — the lyrics are all about how lucky the lead singer is — with another late 90s hallmark: ska! Yeah, the genre is sort of a joke now, but looking back, those songs were fun and fairly harmless. “Impression” might be the best of the bunch, thanks to lead singer Dicky Barrett’s nearly-metal growl, adding a bit of an edge to the otherwise-bouncy song. And speaking of bouncy: “Impression” is just a lot of fun. The chorus is built for group sing-alongs, the horn section and ska guitars are lively and danceable. 

Sure, it REEKS of its time period, but who said being dated is a bad thing when it comes to pop?

#17: “You Spin Me Round (Like a Record)” by Dead or Alive (1984)

Is this song even real? Is this band even real?! Dead or Alive, and especially their Boy George-on-ecstasy lead singer Pete Burns, almost felt like a caricature of an 80s one-hit-wonder. They’re essentially a more tasteless version of the fake band from that one Hugh Grant rom-com.

But yes, “You Spin Me Round” is very, very real, and thank god for that. Even with how insane the 80s were, there weren’t many hits that dared to be as in-your-face and aggressive as this one. It’s like Flock of Seagulls or Duran Duran cranked up to 11. Burns’ vocals are unbelievably vampy and fun, while the pulsing hi-NRG production leaves the listener with no room to breathe. It even sounds like a rotating record! 

“You Spin Me Round” will always be fondly remembered as one of the great 80s pop hits, because Dead or Alive didn’t half-ass anything. They took what would be a boilerplate synthpop tune and took it balls-to-the-wall. Kudos. 

And shame on Flo Rida for neutering it.

#16: “Play That Funky Music” by Wild Cherry (1976)

Ah yes, everybody’s favorite song about selling out (either that, or Reel Big Fish’s more overt 90s ska classic).

A song about a rock band making *gasp* a disco song and somehow combining the two genres had to live up to its premise, and man, “Play That Funky Music” more than meets that standard. It’s got a funky, Nile Rodgers-worthy groove and a catchy pop chorus, all without without sacrificing that sweet rock edge (peep the electrifying guitar solo). 

Sure, other classic rock acts tried their hands at disco later in the 70s, and some even turned out pretty great. But the original will always be special.

#15: “Shake It” by Metro Station (2008)

Alright, alright, you got me. This one is in the top half because of pure nostalgia (in 8th grade, this song was the coolest, trust me). “Shake It” might be the most late-00s song ever written, but who said that’s a bad thing?

This song is great for really simple reasons — monster guitar groove + synth riffs + vaguely emo vocals + mindlessly fun lyrics = late-aughts perfection — so here’s a fun fact for y’all. The lead singer, the one with 80 bajillion tattoos? Yeah, that’s Miley Cyrus’ older brother. I’m not kidding. Wonder how it must feel to only have one hit while your sister becomes a massive international superstar...

Anyways, “Shake It” is one of the best songs 2008 had to offer, and even if you don’t have fond memories of dancing to it at junior high summer camps, it still kills.

#14: “Flagpole Sitta” by Harvey Danger (1997)

As I mentioned earlier, by 1997, edgier alt-rock was quickly being replaced by sunnier, goofier pop. Still, just like how The Verve gave Britpop one last hit that same year with “Bittersweet Symphony,” (that song won’t be on the list, by the way...the Britpop rule applies), Seattle gave the world one last blast of angst with “Flagpole Sitta.”

Harvey Danger’s single hit is a sarcastic and paranoid condemnation of late 90s cheeriness. Lead singer Sean Nelson (that’s the guy who looks like Seth Rogen) rails against trends, mindless pop and the death of the punk scene. What really makes “Flagpole Sitta” work, however, isn’t its righteous indignation, but rather its passionate, yell-y chorus. You can now fight the man at the karaoke bar or on road trips as easily as you can sing along to 80s soundtrack hits!

“Flagpole Sitta” might have shown open contempt for the late 90s pop scene, but its spiked bubblegum chorus helped Harvey Danger’s bitter attitude go down a bit easier.

#13: “99 Luftballons” by Nena (1983)

Everybody loves a wacky foreign-language hit! “Rock Me Amadeus” and “Gangnam Style” are firmly planted in our consciousness, and “99 Luftballons” occupies a similar space.

Of course, there’s one big difference between “Luftballons” and the other major German-sung hit of the 80s, “Amadeus”: Nena’s subject matter is as far from wacky as you can get. It’s about everybody’s favorite topic, nuclear war! Yeah, the song tells a story about East Germans mistaking 99 balloons for enemy aircrafts, so they blow them up, triggering a 99-year war and a nuclear winter. Good times!

Still, even if you don’t know the song’s meaning (which most Americans don’t), “Luftballons” still has plenty to offer. Mainly that it’s a total JAM. That synth riff is so beautifully 80s I could cry. Nena definitely has some rock swagger in her vocals, and each snare drum hit sounds like a firecracker. It was destined to be a hit regardless of subject matter or language barrier.

#12: “Voices Carry” by ‘Til Tuesday (1985)

Aimee Mann has become something of a Gen X cult favorite since her debut as the lead singer and bassist for 80s one-hit-wonder ‘Til Tuesday. In fact, she even notched an Oscar nomination! Still, in my opinion, she’s never topped “Voices Carry,” the song that put her on the map.

First, the lyrics. Mann paints a vivid picture (helped by the excellent music video) of a woman who’s forced to hold back her personality because of her controlling yuppie boyfriend. The edgy artist vs. bougie WASP isn’t a new battle, but rarely do you see those two stereotypes in a relationship, working out their differences (except in Pretty in Pink, I guess). The story is heartbreaking regardless, even if it’s cliché by now.

Musically, “Voices Carry” works just as well. The tight new wave guitar rhythm is complimented well by the piercing synth stabs. Mann’s vocals switch on a dime from timid whispers during most of the song to full-on belting during the emotional third act.

I’m a little worried that this classic might not get as much attention as other, wackier 80s-one-hit wonders, but “Voices Carry” absolutely deserves the same love that Flock of Seagulls or a-ha gets.

#11: “Come On Eileen” by Dexy’s Midnight Runners (1982)

If you don’t like this song, you’re a monster. Or you’re named Eileen and have gotten plenty of jokes because of it. You can get a pass if that’s the case.

Anyways, how could anyone hate “Come On Eileen?” It’s about keeping your chin up in the face of a bleak Thatcher-era UK economy and it has a timeless quality that helps it stick out among its early-80s counterparts. No synths to be found here, folks. Instead, you get Celtic fiddles and Kevin Rowland’s yelping, nearly unintelligible vocals.

“Eileen” just oozes with optimism. Rowland truly believes he and his titular girlfriend will break out of their dead-end industrial town and be happy someday, and his backing band is more than happy to provide some extra energy. What more could you want?

(Hot take: This wasn’t even Dexy’s best song. This was.)

#10: “You Get What You Give” by New Radicals (1998)

What would you get if a Smashing Pumpkins sound-alike made a heartland rock song about the evils of American consumerism? Well, you don’t have to wonder, that song exists. And it’s perfect.

On the surface, “You Get What You Give” is another sunny late 90s pop-rock song, with its bouncy pianos and uplifting chorus. A closer look at the lyrics dispels that notion: Lead singer Gregg Alexander is royally pissed-off at the one percent. He’s gonna smash a Mercedes. He condemns the corrupt health insurance and banking industries. Alexander even infamously took pot shots at 90s celebrities like Marilyn Manson and Hanson (probably the only time those two were grouped together). It’s pretty funny, honestly, to see a scrawny guy in a bucket hat tell a bunch of people he’ll “kick their ass(es) in.”

Hubris aside, “You Get What You Give” is a beautiful contradiction between furious lyrics and a sunny melody. Late 90s pop-rock was (almost) never better than this.

#9: “I Believe In A Thing Called Love” by The Darkness (2003)

Although the 2000s weren’t an amazing decade for one-hit-wonders (remember Mims or Jibbs? Yikes), there were a few exceptions. One of the big ones was The Darkness, who actually sounded much closer to 1978 than 2003. 

“I Believe In A Thing Called Love” is cock-rock at its most over-the-top and self-deprecating, and it’s a glory to behold. Lead singer Justin Hawkins’ falsetto could probably knock over a building. 

And those lyrics...I’d call them so-bad-they’re-good if it wasn’t obvious that they were intentionally ridiculous. Tie it all together with not one, not two, but THREE face-melting guitar solos (Hawkins even squeals “GUITAR!” before the second one...god this song is so wonderful), and you’ve got a recipe for the 21st century’s greatest 70s rock song. 

Also, in the video, the band fights off a giant space octopus by shooting lightning bolts out of their guitars. WHY WAS THIS BAND NOT BIGGER?!

#8: “Groove Is in the Heart” by Deee-Lite (feat. Q-Tip) (1990)

By 1990, the good part of the 80s was over, but the gangsta rap and grunge we associate today with the early 90s hadn’t really taken off yet. Most of the hits were nondescript, bland 80s leftovers. Of course, even a year this bad had some classics that snuck in, and one of those was the unstoppable “Groove Is in the Heart.”

Deee-Lite’s image might have screamed psychedelic 60s, and singer Lady Miss Kier’s old-school suave vocals certainly helped bring them a Mad Men-era vibe. But that beat? Early 90s techno at its finest. It’s both chaotic and controlled; tight yet loose. Funkadelic bassist Bootsy Collins lays down a smooth-as-hell bass line and some silly adlibs ( “dig!”), while Q-Tip, who would normally be the best part of any other song, is relegated to an okay guest verse. It’s not that the legendary MC is bad, it’s just that the rest of “Groove” is so perfect. 

Unlike other early 90s dance classics like “Pump Up The Jam” or “Gonna Make You Sweat,” “Groove” actually feels like a real song. Yeah, it kills on the dancefloor, but it doesn’t sound awkward and repetitive on the radio, thanks to actual verses, a top-notch rap feature and the myriad of wacky sound effects throughout (slide whistles! popping noises! that weird noise you make when you stick out your tongue!).

“Groove Is in the Heart” proved to be too pristine to top for Deee-Lite, but at least they taught us where the groove comes from.

#7: “Stacy’s Mom” by Fountains of Wayne (2003) 

I have no clue how these guys managed to make lusting after your girlfriend’s relative somehow sound cutesy and not super weird, but “Stacy’s Mom” is a classic for a reason.

The reason? Well, first of all, Fountains of Wayne were nakedly trying to copy The Cars here, and they NAIL IT. There’s that new-wave guitar chug, the squiggly synths, the dorky-yet-somehow-cool vocal delivery, and it all culminates in a killer chorus that’ll be stuck in your head for days.

And although the plotline of the song sounds a little awkward on paper, it somehow works in the song. It probably helps that the protagonist is supposed to be a kid. At the end of the day, it’s more adorable than anything else. 

A cute concept, coupled with stellar production are what have kept “Stacy’s Mom” a classic even as Fountains of Wayne faded away.

#6: “Your Love” by The Outfield (1986)

Some songs just sound like they’ve existed since the beginning of time. “Your Love” is one of those songs.

How do I even describe what makes this song a classic? It should be apparent from the first listen: The frequently repeated chorus is soaring and instantly recognizable. The melody is both melancholic and romantic at the same time. 

The lyrics don’t even matter. It’s all about that hook. That perfect, untouchable hook. It should be displayed in museums. Hell, the whole song is a hook, let’s be real.

Maybe that’s what made “Your Love” stick around: There’s no bull, no gimmicks, just naked emotion and one of the catchiest choruses you’ll ever hear. 

#5: “I Melt With You” by Modern English (1982)

This might be the most nakedly romantic song on this list. There’s a reason this song has been overplayed to death in rom-coms and TV shows: it’s a beautifully flawed depiction of love.

Lead singer Robbie Grey’s vocals are almost monotone, which contrast perfectly with the lovelorn, almost Cure-esque lyrics. “I’ll stop the world and melt with you” might sound weird, but given to a trembling, awkward vocalist like Grey, it’s downright swoon-worthy. 

“I Melt With You” is prom slow dance 101, and it will live forever as long as there’s gawky teens to ask their crushes out.

#4: “California” by Phantom Planet (2002)

All apologies to 2Pac, The Mamas and the Papas, and Katy Perry (no apologies to the Red Hot Chili Peppers, because I hate them), but Phantom Planet’s “California” is the best song ever written about the Golden State.

Personal anecdote time: I lived in Southern California for four years. Most of the negative stereotypes of the L.A. area — the lack of seasons (Christmastime is especially weird), oppressive heat, plastic people, and that infamous traffic — are all spot on. Just a few months ago, I ditched the sunshine to return to the comforting Northwest drizzle, so believe me when I say that this song isn’t this high on the list because I think California is the happiest place on earth (that would be Disneyland, which is its own thing).

But for three minutes, “California” suddenly makes me miss the palm trees and sunburns. It makes L.A. sound like the goddamn promised land, where all your problems and stresses will go away. Everything will be okay once you reach California.

The chorus doesn’t just arrive, it EXPLODES with excitement and anticipation. The guitars and drum beat pound like a truck speeding down a mountain, and lead singer Alex Greenwald sounds like a man driven to insanity by his quest to return home. It’s one of the most cathartic choruses you’ll ever hear in pop.

So yes, the song most known for being the theme to The O.C. (which I’ve never seen, so there’s no bias from that standpoint) is one of the greatest one-hit-wonders of all time, and possibly the best song ever written about a state. Now I just want to visit Santa Monica again.

(Also, yes, that is comedian Jason Schwartzman on the drums. Obviously, he’s doing just fine.)

#3: “Baby Got Back” by Sir Mix-a-Lot (1992)

No, this is not a joke. Yes, “Baby Got Back,” one of the silliest rap hits of all time, is a legitimate classic. Don’t fight me on this.

I bet you can rap a decent portion of this song whether you know it or not. Hell, you probably even know the iconic intro by heart ( “Oh...my...gawd Becky. Look at her butt.”). That infamous opening line is a perfect thesis statement: Yes, Sir Mix-a-Lot does like big butts, and he cannot lie. And then he spends four minutes proving his devotion to women with big booties and how they don’t get enough respect. It’s something to behold.

Most hip-hop heads will dismiss “Baby Got Back” as being corny and not serious enough, but that’s the charm of the whole thing! Sure, Mix could probably have written a more serious tune about how black standards of beauty were being ignored by the fashion industry and how domestic violence is a despicable act (yes, he actually covers both topics in the big butts song), but why not sneak that message into a super catchy, funny song? 

I guarantee you, no backpack rapper ever came up with a line as wonderfully stupid as “My anaconda don’t want none/unless you got buns hon.” That line was so perfect that Nicki Minaj built an entire song around it (and its song’s stellar bassline) 22 years later. It was one of Nicki’s biggest hits. Coincidence? Hell no. And I haven’t even mentioned the super-energized Rick Rubin beat!

"Baby Got Back” isn’t the greatest rap song ever, but it’s easily the greatest hip-hop one-hit-wonder. Even white boys (like myself) have to shout that.

#2: “Take On Me” by a-ha (1984)

First off, take a few minutes to watch the music video. I know you’ve probably already seen it, but it’s the greatest non-Michael Jackson/Lady Gaga video of all time. Just watch it again. I’ll wait.

Honestly, it is hard to talk about “Take On Me” without bringing up its iconic video, but let’s give it a try. a-ha’s magnum opus doesn’t make a whole lot of sense lyrically, since the Norwegians didn’t know a ton of English — what on earth is “take on me” even supposed to mean? — but in a way, the language barrier makes it even more cute. It’s like the awkward French guy fumbling through an English conversation to try and impress his new American girlfriend.

Even with the odd lyrics, “Take On Me” has primo new wave production, with synths on top of synths on top of synths, all creating an infectious, danceable beat. And of course, when lead singer Morten Harket reaches that dog-whistle final note on the chorus, it’s a magical moment. God knows how many unfortunate karaoke singers tried and failed to hit that note. 

It might be a bit cliche to put “Take On Me” this high, seeing as it is one of the most, if not the most, famous one-hit-wonder of all time. But it deserves its enduring legacy. Even without the classic video, “Take On Me” would have stood the test of time based on quality alone. What could possibly top it? Well...

#1: “She Loves You” by The Beatles (1963)

You know, it’s really a shame that these four lads from Liverpool couldn’t string together another hit, because their primal, simple rock-n-roll certainly had potential. One wonders what could’ve been...

Kidding, of course. Here’s the real number one:

#1: “Steal My Sunshine” by Len (1999)

It was the end of the millennium. People began to worry about the end of the world. The pop music machine knew it might be their last year to crank out super-cheesy late 90s hits, so they gave us an embarrassment of riches. “Livin’ La Vida Loca.” “I Want It That Way.” “All Star.” The only prominent meme featuring Rob Thomas of Matchbox 20. The only good Christina Aguilera song. It was a smorgasbord of songs that would all age badly, but they still remain wonderful nearly 20 years later.

One of the biggest hits of that year, however, didn’t come from giants like *NSYNC or Britney. It was by a crew of sleazy Canadians dressed like New Jersey guidos. That song was “Steal My Sunshine,” and it is the greatest one-hit-wonder of all time.

In fact, it’s more than the greatest one-hit-wonder ever: “Steal My Sunshine” is the greatest summer song ever. The juxtaposing guy-girl vocals, the bouncy production perfect for either the beach or cruising with your bros with the windows down, the lyrics literally describing a crazy summer afternoon...This song was tailor-made for sweltering July and August days.

Every year, Billboard tracks what the song of the summer is for those three months. It’s a pointless exercise: “Steal My Sunshine” is the song of the summer every year. Are you honestly going to tell me that 2016′s winner, “One Dance,” or 2000′s champion “Bent,” or god forbid, 1993′s “(I Can’t Help) Falling In Love With You” is more summery than Len’s ode to goofing off in the sun? Nope.

Sure, “Steal My Sunshine” is stupid, extremely dated (it might be the most 1999 thing ever recorded) and honestly kind of trashy. But aren’t those all qualities we love in our one-hit-wonders? Most beloved one-hit-wonders (with some exceptions, like “Beds Are Burning”) are silly, ridiculous time capsules, and that’s exactly how we like it. And few songs are are as ridiculous, silly or as much of a time capsule of a better place than Len’s “Steal My Sunshine.” Summer’s almost over, better listen to it while you can.

[englishmansdcc]

Amit Chauhan is the creator of YAKUZA DEMON KILLERS, a fantasy/horror comic book series from IDW Publishing. AEISD contributor Mark Searby spoke to Amit about his DEMONS VS THE YAKUZA miniseries.

MS: Did you always want to be a comic book writer?

AC: That’s a funny one. When I was a kid I wanted to write comics but I had a period at University where I… didn’t fall out of love with comics… just wasn’t collecting as much. So I went and did film school at University and I met Mark Brennan [TEA FOR TWO director], and I wanted to do film scripts. Living in England, I went to work at ITV [UK commercial TV network] and it didn’t click… something didn’t work.

I came over to the States and I was having lunch in a diner with a guy who did artwork for X-MEN, Jim Muniz, and we were chatting and I was telling him all these crazy film ideas and he said “You know, you should write comic books.” So, I did self publishing and all the type of stuff writers do to get off the ground, just to learn the craft a bit more. It took off from there.

Mark Searby: Where did the idea for Yakuza Demon Killers come from?

Amit Chauhan: It was something I had in my bag for a while. I was a big fan of Anime growing up and a lot of old horror films. So it was a mix of all my interests and that kind of B-Movie feel to it. Some ridiculous premise and these two rivalling factions with thieves stuck in the middle of this madness going on around them.

As time goes on, when you’re pitching something in comics, you pitching different ideas to publishers and the first idea I had was for a book called BUTCHER, which I Kickstarted and the publisher was interested but they ended up not wanted to go that route and they asked “Have you got any other ideas?” and I said “I’ve got this one called YAKUZA DEMON KILLERS.” And they said “Great title! That’s the one!” Usually it takes months for something to get green lit and they green lit very quickly, within a month or two. Then we were all go. It was kind of wild.

Yakuza Demon Killers #1, cover art (image: IDW Publishing)

MS: The first few pages feature a drugged-out woman going on a heist and then everything kicking off. Did you always want to start the comic off with a huge BANG! Moment?

AC: I wanted it to be a book where you can take all the fun – all the smash, bang horror aspects – but I also wanted there to be a story about the thief’s evolution. She starts out as this strung-out druggy and will she end the book like that? Can she end the book like that? What kind of implication does that have? How does that affect her mindset? I wanted there to be some seriousness in there as well as all the crazy stuff.

You start off with such an impactful image of her hallucinating in an alleyway and I wanted that to be as if you are directly in this girls world and you know what her perspective is on her surroundings and then you are following her around as she is almost being dragged through this madness. It is kind of having that sense of no control over anything. The first issue I wanted to give that subtext that she has no control over anything and slowly, as the book goes on, she is getting more and more control.

MS: Yakuza Demon Killers is four issues. Did you envisage four comics from the beginning? Or did you want more?

AC: I think if you ask any writer they always want a bit more [laughs]. The industry right now is really hard to keep people’s attentions, so it started off back in the 1970s and 80s comic books went on for fifty, sixty issues on massive long runs and slowly over time especially in the last decade or so with the introduction of the internet and apps and smart phones people’s attention spans are getting less and less. People can’t wait for a lot of issues to see your book.

Maybe THE WALKING DEAD is one of the few exceptions to that. But you need something that is quick and is out there. They have the full story within a year. It is hard but working with time constraints helps as well because you’re not faffing along [laughs].

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MS: The artwork is quite terrifying. What was it like working with Eli Powell and K. Michael Russell on the project?

AC: Eli Powell is one of the most talented people I’ve ever worked with. He is unbelievable. We kind of had this psychic connection almost. When I write something he will show it exactly how it is. It is amazing. K. Michael Russell is the colour artist on it. He can either do very vibrant colours, if you see issue one where she is hallucinating he brings out these beautiful oranges and these warms tones, but then in other scenes you’ll see a much cooler pallet. He has this beautiful mastery over his art form. Both guys have been wonderful to work with.

To work with that kind of talent on my first series is… you couldn’t ask for a better team. Along with Marshall Dillon, who is the letterer. The letterer is the guy who doesn’t get enough credit. He really draws the reader’s eye through the comic book and is showing the reader how to follow the story. He is a wonderful wonderful talent.

MS: Did ever reject any of their artwork?

AC: The only time that happens is if a scene is drawn and maybe there is a misunderstanding with something. With Eli he is so on point and the same with K. Michael but sometimes something is focussed on that shouldn’t be. That’s mainly because you have a script in front of you and this person has to read your script, which is twenty two pages, and they are trying to take what they can.

The best of us, when asked to read something for work, can miss something. There are times when I’ve asked them “what did you think to this? Is this unrealistic?” Unrealistic in the main sense because it is a fantasy. I think we all keep each other in check which is nice. It’s kind of an open forum, which is cool. That’s a good way to work.

MS: What has the reception been like for the comics?

AC: It’s so interesting. We’ve had such good feedback. With any art you put out there, and I’ve realised this, all you can hope is that people understand the story and then you are going to get back someone’s personal preference. Some people have been, “I really love this,” and some have been, “Meh, it’s OK.” I’ve been really pleased with the reception. We had someone send us fan art. That was amazing because I’ve never had fan art before of a character I created. To have someone send that to you… WOW! It’s cool. It’s been wonderful.

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MS: What are your thoughts on the state of the industry at present?

AC: It’s the most accessible but hardest to get into [laughs]. Anyone can write a comic right now, which is amazing. Anyone can have a kickstarter. It has enabled everyone to have a voice. But because so many people want to get in and most of them are making books which are harder to get to publishers. More people are creating books now but the budgets and slates haven’t changed. It is highly competitive, which is great.

I think original IP’s have really taken off in the past decade because all these creators of all these stories… I love Spider-Man and Superman, but when you are writing for these big companies you have an obligation to do right by their characters. With creating your own work you can do anything you want. Maybe it works or maybe it doesn’t but it is YOUR choice. So creators can take huge risks and if it goes wrong it is own their own back. You can’t do that at bigger companies. There is nothing wrong with that and you should always be respectful of big characters because people grew up on those characters. It’s a very exciting time in the industry. There are so many voices out there.

MS: How important is it for someone such as yourself, who are promoting their own creations, to attend comic-cons?

AC: I’m at a lot of conventions this year and it’s getting difficult because there are so many now that they all start to clash a bit. It’s outreach. So when people meet you it is that connection. You can like a book but when you meet the author or you have a good interaction it is going to make you follow that author more. I love talking to fans. A true nerd will let you know if they loved it or hated it, and I love that about the accessibility of the industry.

MS: Do you find it hard to keep your nerdiness in check when you see some of the big players from the industry at the same events as you?

AC: Oh, 100%! [laughs]. The odd occasion that I get introduced to someone… it’s not tears [laughs]… when you break into any industry your friends are going to be the people you broke in with. Those are the ones you hang out with. I’m not going to be sitting at dinner with Stan Lee [laughs], but just sitting at a table with the likes of John Romita Jr. and you’re all pros at a convention. It is really strange. There are so many times I have to keep it in check [laughs].

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MS: One last question on YAKUZA DEMON KILLERS. Have you received feedback from real life Yakuza’s?

AC: Thankfully, no! [laughs]. In YAKUZA DEMON KILLERS, nearly all the places depicted are real places. I took photos when I went to these places. I was in Japan for a month taking pictures and sending them to Eli. In the first issue they go through the Tokyo National Museum and I took a bunch of pictures and sent them to Eli. The sword case in the book isn’t a sword case [in the museum] but it does have a statue in it. If you walk the same way through that gallery you’ll come to that case. I try to make sure it is the way it is. That is important to me.

Interview: @Mark_Searby talks to Amit Chauhan (Creator: @IDWPublishing's YAKUZA DEMON KILLERS) Amit Chauhan is the creator of YAKUZA DEMON KILLERS, a fantasy/horror comic book series from IDW Publishing…