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mousieta · 6 years

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Tagged by my co-mod over at @0penb00k mod lily, so here we go!

1. YEET – which book would you yeet out of existence?

Fifty Shades series. I’ve never even read them, but have read enough excerpts to know it gets very little right and my BDSMy self just….wishes it didn’t exist. There is so much GOOD BDSM fic in the world… why was this one the one chosen to go mainstream (yes I know the reasons but still whyyyyyy)

2. CRYING KIM K – which book gives you lots of feelings?

I finished A Different Mirror: A History of Multicultural America by Ronald Takaki this summer and …. well there were times I had to just. stop. because my emotions were too wound up I couldn’t focus properly. The major truth I took from that book is that rights and autonomy, the lifting of oppression is never granted benevolently by those in power, it is demanded or forced by political and economic necessity and that fact alone is enraging enough.

3. AMERICA, EXPLAIN – favorite book set outside the US?

All Roads Lead to Austen by Amy Elizabeth Smith, a travel memoir about a woman (Amy) who sets off to South America to spend a year doing book clubs of Jane Austen novels. It is poignant and insightful and thoroughly fascinating to see how women (and some men) experience and interpret the works of Austen through their own cultural lenses. I mean we do it to, but it’s intriguing to see it thru a different lense.

4. RIP VINE – your saddest character death?

Ok so this is a memory, but when I was about 12 I read a Morgan Llywelyn book (pretty sure it was Red Branch because I remember it being about Cuchulain) and in one part he has to kill a friend and I remember just being…. Devastated. I sobbed and sobbed and my little middle school girl heart was broken. I’m sure there are sadder deaths, but I don’t remember reacting to any so powerfully.

5. WHAT ARE THOSE? – a book that left you confused?

I remember having a copy of Gibson’s Neuromancer shoved at me to read, so I tried. I …. Was confused almost the whole time. I think I was just in the wrong point in my life for that book. Sometimes my focus is really really bad and I don’t process things well. I keep meaning to try again.

6. BIG DICK ENERGY – favorite character with BDE?

Man…. i read so little fiction… I dunno… I’m scraping my brain and staring at my bookshelves…. Surreal SaDiablo from the Black Jewels trilogy. Man that chick gives zero fucks and I love it.

7. I WON’T HESITATE BITCH – favorite book with a morally grey protagonist?

I’m gonna go with A Clockwork Orange. Is Alex morally grey? I am not sure. He was terrible, and yet at the end he changes, he grows. Does that redeem him? I don’t know. Does the growth at the end balance out who he was? What is morality anyways? What is redemption? What is growth? I wrestle with these ideas and this book teases out that tension of good and bad and motivation and action in ways that leave me thinking about it occasionally, even years after I first read it.

8. MOVE, I’M GAY – favorite book featuring a lgbp+ romance?

Exiles: The Ruins of Ambrai by Melanie Rawn featured the first example of a loving, deeply passionate and healthy queer relationship I ever read, at age 12 (seventh grade was a formative time for this little mouse, y’all). It didn’t end happily but the relationship Rawn showed me was pivotal to my baby queer self.

9. STREET SMARTS – favorite book featuring a protagonist whose strength is their intelligence?

Tie: Melanie Rawn’s Dragon Prince series (bit dated but man I loved it) - Rohan was a political mastermind and I lvoed it.

And Shana from The Elvenbane by Norton/Lackey

(man can you tell I haven’t read much fiction since the 90s/mid 00s?) lol

10. ALEXA PLAY DESPACITO – character death you were happy about?

I remember enjoying the death of Baron Harkonnen in Dune

11. THEN PERISH – a book you DNFed?

Lord Foul’s Bane by Donaldson… not down for rape in the first 100 pages …. Especially not when I’m supposed to feel sympathetic to the rapist because their life is just. so. Hard. I remember some handwaviness to justify it and some mumbledy dumbledy to make it a big deal but it was written to make it sympathetic and I just… didn’t give a fuck anymore about the protagonist, so I quit.

12. KERMIT SIPPING TEA – a book that makes a statement?

The Radical King by Martin Luther King Jr. (see my latest review, we’re being taught King wrong, y’all)

13. SAME HAT – the character you relate to the most?

I got nothin, fam. I don’t think I’ve ever seen myself reflected in fiction. I can’t remember reading a character and being #me

14. OH WORM – a book you didn’t expect to love?

The Black Jewels. Picked it up on a whim and fell in instant love.

15. SHREK – favorite book featuring mythical creatures?

Another tie: Naomi Novik’s Temeraire series because Dragons in the Napoleonic Wars, come on! And Sharon Shinn’s Samaria series, because angels.

…aaand I’m gonna tag @jamaicastation

#bookblr #mousie reads

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disuvero-declaration · 23 years

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Article / “Declaration of Spirit: An Interview with Mark di Suvero,” Venice Magazine by William Turner / June 2001

As you walk toward Venice Beach past the end of Windward Avenue, Mark di Suvero's newly installed sculpture greets you with breathtaking suddenness. Out of the tangled cadence of slightly swaying palms, "Declaration" soars majestically above gentle explosions of fronds. As with much of di Suvero's work, massive steel beams converge in impossibly graceful balance, so that your awareness of staggering weight and size gives way to an exhilarating sense of space and possibility.

Mark di Suvero has installed this piece, in cooperation with LA Louver, to mark the occasion of the Venice Art Walk's 22 nd year in support of the Venice Family Clinic. Di Suvero's work couldn't be a more perfect choice. As long time friend Laddie John Dill said at the commemoration, "Mark has this incredible commitment to peace and the human spirit." That a work of such scale is conceived and implemented by a man with a broken back, who stands with support of twin canes, is remarkable testament to the triumph of that spirit.

Mark di Suvero was born in Shanghai in 1933 and came to San Francisco in 1941. Di Suvero's early work of the late fifties were often fabrications of found objects; tires, cable, rope, lumber and steel which he combined to create unusually graceful and delicate sculptures. A nearly fatal studio accident, in 1960, left di Suvero with a broken back and confined to a wheel chair for several years. Yet by the mid-sixties, di Suvero's work on large scale steel sculptures had resumed with greater ambition than ever.

It is impossible to stand before di Suvero's powerful, lyrically balanced sculptures without a sense of wonder at how they came into being. When I met di Suvero at the site for "Declaration" , he was wearing his characteristic hard hat and had just finished the installation with his small crew. The cranes and lifts surrounding the 60 foot high piece were no help in imagining how he did it. Yet after spending time with Mark di Suvero, you realize that with passion and energy all things are possible.

Venice: Let's talk about the piece you just installed, "Declaration" . I went earlier today and it was so big that that I didn't see it at first. I was looking down too low-

Mark di Suvero: Too low huh? Are you sure it wasn't the pollution that made it blend into the background?

Well the trees do have an interesting effect with it.

Peter [Goulds, owner of LA Louver Gallery] promised to paint it fluorescent orange, himself. I like the idea.

Put him to work.

Yes. Do you want to talk about the artists' of Venice that I've known?

Sure. Why don't we start with that.

Okay. There is Guy Dill, and Laddie John Dill. And I like to look at the beautiful pieces of Kenny Price that are here. Joe Goode, and people like that. They were all working when I was working in the city. It was when we were all awake and alive, some thirty years ago

Yeah, late sixties, early seventies?

Late sixties just up to seventy.

And you lived in the West Hollywood area?

West Hollywood, and then in Pasadena. Pasadena has changed completely. Of course thirty years ago, for Los Angeles, means a couple of generations ago. (Laughs) It is different now.

A lot of those artists- Larry Bell, Robert Irwin, De Wain Valentine, Billy Al Bengston-worked with materials like polyester and resin, pursuing ideas about light and space-

-They were the cutting edge, Finish / Fetish, the whole idea of abstract expressionism, or "A.E.". go on-

Did you have any flirtation with those materials or ideas? How did you see yourself fitting in artistically?

No. They kind of refused me. I was from New York, although we were all friends. They were supposedly of another type, and I didn't quite fit in. The work I was doing was too raw, or seemed raw. It seemed funky. It seemed direct, and that wasn't what they were doing. But they liked me, because there was that sense that we were all working together and had something.

Who were your early influences as an artist?

Early influences...well, how far back do you want me to go?

I'll let you decide.

I had to do a studio class today, for Otis, and I talked to them about the Venus of Willendorf and Brancusi as two different poles. As two different time sets. You look at the Venus of Willendorf and you look at Brancusi as really deep influences. People that I liked, of course were...what... you weren't born in the Fifties-

Fifty-three.

So that's about when I started. I started in about '55. I was in school. The people that I really looked at, at the time were people like Gonzales and Henry Moore, who was considered modern. There was Picasso, there was Brancusi, there were the Americans like, ah help me-

-David Smith -

Yeah, David Smith, those people.

When did you feel your work began to develop its current identity?

After I had my back broken, that's when I really was able to finally start welding, no longer working just with wood. I looked a lot at the Russian Constructivists, so by the time I came to L.A., I was working with heavy wood, large I-beams. I had already done pieces like "Maryann Moore" , which is now in the Mall in Washington D.C. So what they call my signature style, which is actually sculpture that is the right size and scale for working with a truck crane, had already been reached. Although I hadn't reached it to the level of this piece, "Declaration" .

Even your smaller works have a wonderful monumentality to them. If you look at them out of any context of scale, they could be huge.

I talked to Don Judd about that. We were talking about scale as this kind of internal reference. For me, the real struggle for sculpture since the very early sixties has to do with space. The people who really began that spatial exploration were Rodin with his "Burghers of Calais" . Not the one you have here in LA [at the LA County Museum], which is all wrong spatially, but the one where they are spread out and they look like they are lost and in lost directions. Then it goes into Giacometti, with his "Men in a Square" , where everybody looks like they have nothing to do with each other, they're going all in different ways. There is that sense of space and scale which is really completely different from the previous ideas- the monuments, the monoliths- where the space is enclosing. A lot of the people in L.A. when I was working here, did not have that. They were into Andy Warhol, and that Finish / Fetish stuff, and stuff like that. So I was a little bit out of it, and finally I had to leave. So it wasn't only because of Norton Simon-

What was your run-in with Norton Simon?

When I returned after the Vietnam War, Norton Simon said to me that I had to get my piece out of there, [the Pasadena Museum] and that they would pay for the crane to bring it down but they would not pay for the truck. So I had to pay for the truck back to my studio. The piece ended up back in my studio and later near a Phillip Johnson building.

That was right after Norton Simon took over the Pasadena Museum?

Yes. Then he destroyed it.

I know for a lot of you back then, the Pasadena Museum was a real seminal, supportive environment.

Exactly.

From everyone I've talked to, the Pasadena Museum had a huge impact on the development of an artistic sensibility in Los Angeles. It was really the beginning...

Yup! John Coplans was there and Barbara Haskell. Then Norton Simon came in, it had to do with their budget, and they lost it.

A big loss at the time, for LA artists.

What is there now, LACMA, right? There's the Contemporary [Museum of Contemporary Art] right? Then there's the Temporary Contemporary [Geffen Contemporary] -which has done so much, I think.

One of the Geffen's most impressive recent shows was the one for Richard Serra-

I didn't see it, but it also went to Bilbao and it was a big success in there.

You and Serra both work with massively large scale steel sculptures. Although they are clearly quite different in style, are you pursuing similar sculptural and spatial concerns?

There's a great deal of difference, although we grew up together. Same area, we had only one house between us. We grew up in the same neighborhood. No, I think Richard has had terrific influence, and although we work in the same material there are strong differences. I asked Dick Bellamy to show Nancy Graves, that's when they were together, but he showed Richard Serra. I think that Nancy Graves is in some ways so wild and explorative and Richard has a different psychological zone to him.

Let's talk about this piece for a minute. It has a feeling of celebration of life. But there's also something quite sexual about it-

Sensual or Sexual?

Well, perhaps sensual with a sexual twist?

Well, when I suggested bungie cords with a bed at the bottom, there were people who said that it wouldn't work in Venice, it would get worn out! (laughs).

In conceiving of "Declaration", was there any thought in terms of the theme of that particular piece? Did that have anything to do with commemorating the Venice Family Clinic?

No it didn't. I had built the piece and had already finished it. It was already in position when Peter [Goulds] first saw it. It's a heavy piece, for me but I think that it has that thing I aimed for.

What do you aim for?

I've been writing a book for the last thirty years and it has to do with the human perception of structure. The idea of symbolic structures in language, math, and art. Maybe it's going to get published. It has in it photos of a hundred pieces of sculptures that are more than five meters tall. The photos will say something about the sculpture and my choice of poetry will say something about my vision of structure in poetry, which is what I think is necessary to make a work glow.

So you see a parallel between the structural form of sculpture and the structural form of language and poetry?

I had to jam the book together to say it to you, but there's a dimension in there that you are correct in, but I wouldn't quite say it that way.

In terms of the massive scale of this piece, relative to the scale of the viewer, there is a sensation that is quite humbling. When you walk up to it, the piece becomes almost overwhelming in its size.

I would like to think not that it's humbling but that it expands your sense of possibility of spirit. After all, I realize that for the last 40 years that I've been handicapped, I'd like kids to feel, "Wow, if someone handicapped can do that, I sure can!". I like there to be a certain level of participation. Whether its in small pieces where there's touch and you have that sense of feel or with pieces with swinging beds, which work on your sense of balance. I've done these pieces where people walk right through the sculpture-

Which "Declaration" invites you to do.

Yes. That goes back some thirty odd years.

Upon seeing "Declaration", my first reaction was that I wished that there weren't palm trees behind it so that I could really see the stark contrast of the structure against the vast expanse of the ocean. But on further reflection, I like how something of that scale is initially lost in the trees and then suddenly erupts from the landscape behind it and towers against the sky.

You know there's an ecstatic poet named Rumey. Do you know his work?

I don't.

I dedicated a work to him years ago. It was shown in New York and at the Guggenheim in Venezia. It's in Kansas City now. He talks about ecstacy. Its a joining of the world with the world in a way that is, and should be, joyous and brilliant and colorful and all of it, all at once. Which is why I want Peter to paint that piece fluorescent orange. He should start from the top. He suggested a sable brush!

I heard him and I hope that he does because that will mean that it will be here for a lot longer than the four months that is planned.

I'm afraid it will get tagged more often - but that's OK too.

In spite of the fact that you say "Declaration" was not specifically created for the Venice Family Clinic, it seems like a great choice because it feels like such a life affirming piece.

Well, I would like it to be that. You know I told Peter when they demanded a building permit two days before it went up, that if he didn't get the permit then there was no show. I would not deliver the piece, although it was half loaded onto the trucks. But I still felt positive about it because of doing the lithographs (for the Venice Family Clinic), doing the posters and T-shirts, which I don't normally do. But I felt it was all going for a really righteous type of thinking. That Family Clinic is terrific. I think that Liz Forer and the people that work there and volunteer are the best part of America.

#mark di suvero #declaration #venice #venice beach #california #public art #los angeles #sculpture #public sculpture #mark di suvero declaration #installation #venice magazine

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ginnyzero · 5 years

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A Retrospective Look at My Self Publishing Journey

I was asked again lately about why I chose to be an indie author. And I’ve discussed my self-publishing journey before, mostly in the moment when I put out my first book. But the true answer to why I ended up self-publishing came a lot in hindsight and some examination of the very uncomfortable truths of the publishing industry. Especially the part that I am into, the speculative fiction section.

So, while I’m going to say that this is true in general that it will not hold true in all cases and that if an agent really loves your story and your voice, you will still get picked up. It is all very subjective. The fact I have to make this disclaimer feels ludicrous but here we are.

It’s been over three years since I first published the Lone Prospect. My sales have not been great and my dad is my biggest fan along with a girl in France. And I love both of them and am grateful to them. And as time has gone by, I have learned that there are bigger problems in the publishing sphere than “my book is too long.”

Now, that’s not to say that the Lone Prospect isn’t too long for a traditional publishing debut. It is! For traditional publishing, the Lone Prospect (and Rodeo’s Run) are twice as long as they should be. Supposedly.

There were also other factors at play. Factors that I wasn’t aware of as a hopeful baby novelist who wanted a traditional contract with some money to go into the bank. And most of them are simply outside of my control.

Big issue number one is that series are no longer highly sought after. Things have done a radical one eighty in the past decade, decade and a half, when it comes to series versus stand alones. Series are no longer being sought after by agents. Agents want stand alone novels that if they do well can be turned into series. Oh, they want the next big thing to make them big money. They just don’t want the next big thing to submit a first in a series novel.

This is a nice thought. A lot of times though, a lot of crucial long term arc building is started in the first book of a series. The first book of the series is like your foundation corner stone for your entire work. And if you don’t put that work in at the beginning of the series, the later books are going to fall flat on their face. Especially if your contract goes from three, to seven, to thirteen and so on.

And the reason that series are no longer being sought after is that several big name authors aren’t fulfilling their contractual obligations to finish their series. Publishers no longer want to take the risk of giving out an advance and a contract and not getting product in return. So, saying you’re writing a series is almost like a death nail in the coffin.

I write series. There is no sugar coating this fact. Yes. The Lone Prospect, Rodeo’s Run and Serpent’s Smile are all written as stand alone adventures. They are also part of a series. So, this was really factor number one and it’s a pretty big one. Most of my ideas are for series! Not stand alone novels. I’m a big arc, character interaction type of writer.

Publishers aren’t big on risks. They are a business. Risks must be managed to as little as possible.

There is a major risk factor especially with the Heathen’s series. (Dawn Warrior just might have been a bit too much of a retread idea.) Heathens is squarely in speculative fiction. It’s not straight out Science Fantasy like Star Wars. It’s not true blue science fiction like Star Trek. It’s not kitchen sink urban fantasy they solve crime like half a dozen series I could name. And it’s not textbook dystopian/post apocalyptic like Mad Max. It’s also not a Western or a Military or an Action Adventure.

It’s Speculative Fiction.

I hate that term. I really do. But to be fair, agents might not know how to sell the books. Now, I can understand this. I can! I have a hard time selling the books. I mean it takes more than three words and some people don’t like that. I want to say “it is biker werewolf adventures.” And be done with it, but that doesn’t really say if it’s urban fantasy or science fiction or what. I can say it’s Sons of Anarchy/Expendables for Urban Fantasy and possibly be closer. But that still doesn’t include the post WW3, advanced technology setting.

(And I have my reasons for that so assume another post is coming.)

Yeah. You could call it Speculative Fiction and put it in the science fiction/fantasy shelves, but in reality, it’s a mix of several genres and it’s just too risky. If no one knows what it is, why will they buy it?

I don’t know. Bikers and Werewolves and Explosions? A touch of romance. Family style humor? Put Savannah on the cover with her floating motorcycle in biker leathers and do you think anyone is really going to care what genre it is?

It’s reasonable that if I was a writer don’t know how to sell it outside of the very generic “speculative fiction” label, then why should an agent know how to sell it. Especially when I’m not rigidly following genre tropes and rules when it comes to urban fantasy, werewolves, dystopian or post-apocalyptic fiction. (Though how they could tell that from the first five pages is beyond me.)

I call it science fantasy primarily because werewolves are fantasy lore, I have science fiction style technology and a scientific explanation for lycanthropy (like the first Universal movie before they went full out curse mode) and I use action/adventure tropes which are a huge deal in science fantasy aka Star Wars. I’m not using the Heroes Journey as my framework, because I’m writing adult and for adult audiences that has been done to death. (At least, I’m not doing it consciously, maybe subconsciously but I��m not planning it that way!)

But here is where the disclaimer comes in. If an agent loves your concept and your voice, even if you aren’t following genre tropes. They will pick you up anyways.

It’s a crapshoot. That’s why I recommend even if you don’t want a traditional publishing contract to try querying because, you never know and it’s good experience for summarizing, blurbs and other such things.

All right, so, the Lone Prospect was too long, it was the first in a series and it didn’t fit into a clear little non-risky box.

There are several other things going on in the industry right now. Own Voices is big. I’m not a minority and my sexual identity isn’t a huge facet in my life that I’m going to write a whole book around it. Another large issue is that speculative fiction aka science fiction/fantasy isn’t a huge seller. Not like romance, so they tend to pick up less new authors in that genre per year, if any.

So, let’s talk the elephant in the room. Gender.

I’m a woman. And in a post Pern, Harry Potter, Twilight and Hunger Games world, I see absolutely no reason to hide this fact. In fact, I’m not 100% sure that one could hide this in today’s social media age. It’s not worth my time and energy to pretend to be a guy. Because as a reader, and most readers I know, the name on the cover doesn’t matter. It is what is between those covers that matters.

Now, if you go and look at science fiction and fantasy shelves, you’re going to find a rather huge dichotomy represented on those shelves. Science Fiction is almost exclusively written by men. Urban Fantasy leans strongly towards female authors. And fantasy I want to say is about fifty-fifty because women cornered the market on “romantic fantasy’ and “paranormal romance” ages ago back in the 80s.

And a lot of science fiction on the shelves is still stuff written back in the 1960s and 1970s during the end of the Cold War and Vietnam. They are science fiction “classics” and nothing I’d recommend to a newcomer to scifi. Entire shelves filled with Bova and Sanderson and Asimov and Heinlein and Herbert (and the licensed fanfiction of Dune) is not a great look for modern science fiction. I’m not even sure I’d recommend Weber at this point. Adams and Phillip K. Dick are great, but I’d steer a newcomer towards Robert Asprin’s satirical stuff before stuff written fifty years ago!

When reading the old Expanded Universe of Star Wars, I could count on one hand the amount of female writers that were allowed to play in the universe in comparison to the amount of male writers. Thus, why most of the books were exclusively about Luke, or Han Solo, or Boba Fett and Leia got shuffled off pretty early on to do her diplomatic thing and be “mom.” The book between Episodes V and VI where she courted Black Sun to get the contacts to actually get into Jabba’s palace was a pretty rare exception and that was written by a man.

And you’d think, being it was 2015/2016 and that I was submitting to female agents that me being a woman pushing into the realm of science fantasy wouldn’t matter. (There are strong Starship Trooper’s vibes to the opening chapter of the Lone Prospect on purpose!) But apparently it does, especially if you look at the shelves and turn the books around that are written by older white men.

With the first chapter giving off the Starship Troopers vibes, it is pretty clear that I was writing an action adventure type of story. Action adventure stories are once again considered the playground of men.

So, even if they could get past the length, past the fact it’s book one of a series, past the pushing the boundaries of genres (look, I can comp Dredd and Minority Report here, don’t tell me that Heathen’s is totally out of left field,) and I’m not a minority and not someone writing about the LGBTA+ journey, I’m still a woman in science fantasy action adventure.

Despite the fact women founded science fiction, that women made science fiction popular and that in the past some of the celebrated authors like McCaffery, Norton and Cherryh were women. Men have come to love the science fiction, science fantasy, fantasy genre and we now must all cater to them and their wants and needs ignoring the market that got us to this point originally and still exists.

Now, I didn’t know most of this when I queried. Or, I was hopeful and chose to ignore it. I had hopes that The Lone Prospect had enough Urban Fantasy trappings to slide under the radar of risk. And while I may have a growing pile of ideas to write now, I had to get the Lone Prospect out there in order for those ideas to appear. I’m indie. I’m happy with it because it means I have a few people reading my books and loving them.

And I can hope that someday the industry will change enough where risk isn’t as much of a factor, pushing boundaries is embraced and women are welcomed back to a genre they created and popularized.

#self publishing #self-publishing #personal #personal story

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deythbanger · 5 years

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Comedy: Life Sucks... Do it Again

By DeYtH Banger People say write more and more... in more details that's how advice from moron aka comedian sounds like. Today I am kinda here to make the big line... I relate with Louis CK, with the idea that he is a pervert... Joe Rogan that's how fail comedian sound like. Jim Norton... I hate my mom... my parents... that's what relates me with norton and his material. George Carlin... observation is great that's why I enjoy his material. Old comedians... you are doing great... new comedians you suck no exceptions in this rule are going be made. English is great language working out material and shit... Bulgarian language makes me to lose my temper... always no energy whatsoever... non emotional... Okay fuck you! Old Comedians know where to go... New comedians... each one by one material sucks... Fuck em... stop wasting life and time here.... domino guy you suck... The gay comedian guys... They suck in both meanings... I like when one word means few things I call it language trap! Most people put dey material on stage... come on men is life so dry men? If so... I MIST START SAVING MONEY TO KILL MYSELF.. BECAUSE I AM OVER EMOTIONAL MEN I NEED DRUGS MEN I NEED SHIT TO KILL MYSELF Not deep shit... but on the surface shit. When I wake up... I think that I can make lines and draw lines... but sure as fucking... Hell I can't... Fart jokes? They suck Low calibrated language suck If today's your material is on one topic also follows the above bullet points... KILL YOURSELF If dry material... and clean material is great comedy... re-think about suicide... IS CLEAN AS FUCK I HOPE YOUR MOM CHOCKES ON DICK WHILE WORKING AS PROSTITUTE TIMES HAS CAUGHT HER BITCH LAY DOWN Okay folks... we got bit rush... we got a bunch of horrible of shows and tours and definetly marketing has done it's homework and you are going full cover on procrastinating... Beer represent friends... family... happiness and joy So does and coca cola Diamond represent happy mirrage... happy wife.... great marriage It totally exploits human error and glitches... People like you are like the first on the line and trick to be manipulated. My mom once come back at 2-3 am... in home and I went out of the window and I said "Hey crazy ... bitch come other day... and other time..." The guy down the taxi driver is saying "Who is that?" She says "A Crazy neighbor" I just found out that I have girlfriend... I dodn't know the people who next to me and near me... know me bettter than I know myself... The bitch on the photo is from one show + she ignores me... doesn't me I am in any type of relationship. Players fuck People like me end up staring Which explains a lot of about my horrible life and horrific expectations. Drunk people and drug addicts... are free of outcome that's how they get most of the bases down... such people are carefree. Did you know that If you enjoy while you poop to masturbate, sure as in fucking hell you going to enjoy... fingers in the ass + masturbation. Which brings me up to another thought, my sex addiction does not go away... it start to grow more deeper and deeper... we are talking about the roots. Porn addicts go take cold showers and pray to god for salvation... HOW ABOUT GO KILL YOURSELF YOU HOPELESS FUCK IF YOU NEED TO PRAY TO STAY IN SOBRIETY AND BE SOBER FROM ADDICTION PROBABLY GOD IS SENDING YOU AN MMS "GO KILL YOURSELF"... DO NOT DECLINE SUCH OFFERS ... SUCH OFFERS COME ONCE WITH BENEFITS... ID TEICE HAPPENS... MEN YOU ARE IN DEEP TROUBLE AS WE CAN SAY IT'S ONE TIME OFFER... EITHER TAKE IT OR BURN IN HELL In my life I need to move away and the move along. I just had chat with my fucking anorexic mom... "Did they feed your vagina?" Silence... this bitch is getting sex ... .me I am in the waters of desparation... When woman doesn't have sex for long time she get insane... like mental patient... ME I WANT TO KILL MYSELF Soon.. I am not getting any sex... "no money... no fun... honey",... I don't have money.

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