#between this and the sys art... yeah i love that people get to work with them

[lovvecherrymotion]

i really hope joker out keep working with fan artists because the final result is always so cool! it's so good to see talented artists get these opportunities and it's so clear they put so much love into it 💜

[imaginesupply]

Homecoming - Chapter Six

(I know it's Henry and not Sy in the photo, but it just fit too well with this chapter.)

Summary: The day has arrived, Captain Syverson is going home. For good, this time. He is going home to a civilian life he can hardly remember and a wife he barely knows, with memories of the war still fresh on his mind. Love might not be able to heal everything on its own, but it’s a good start.

Genres: Romance, drama.

Story warnings: Smut (always fully consensual), mentions of PTSD and nightmares and mental health, angst, hurt and comfort, fluff, mentions of war (minor), mentions of cheating (minor), mentions of pregnancy (very minor), police appearance (very minor), violence (very minor).

Notes:

It’s my first time writing for one of Henry’s characters and I’m unsure I did Sy’s character any justice.

This is a Capt. Syverson x OFC (Ada) story, written in 3rd person POV but OFC’s physical description is very limited so it could also be read as Capt. Syverson x Reader, I think.

English is not my first language, so there might be some mistakes. Proofread, but not beta’ed. We die like men and all that.

Timeline is a little wacky: The movie takes place in 2003 and the U.S. forces were withdrawn from Iraq in 2011, but I never set a precise date because I don’t think it’s essential for this story. However, some elements might not be realistic because if we set this story in 2003: Phone cameras quality was not as good as it’s now, but for the purpose of the chapters, I will need you to imagine you could film great videos with your flip phone haha. Plus, it says Sy is coming back after being deployed for more than three years which makes no sense unless we set this in 2006 or later. I am asking you disregard any time inconsistencies.

Also: I am not American. I only lived in the US for six months and it was in the Midwest, not Texas so please bear with me if I write something stupid.

Finally: This will be a Christmas fic and I intend to post the last chapter (there will be seven in total) on or before Christmas. However, religion is never mentioned in this story and the Christmas-sy elements of this story are limited to family gathering, gift giving and tree decorating.

Chapter Six starts after the cut. (Chapter Five can be found here.) Let me know if you wish to be tagged in the last chapter or if you wish to be removed from the tag list.

I will post a master list soon and put the link in the comments to make it easier to navigate.

Chapter 6

Chapter warnings: Smut, Christmas themes, mentions of therapy, embarrassing moments.

Ada didn't mind being woken up with soft fluttering kisses on her neck. She definitely didn't mind starting the day with the tantalizing rub of his beard on her sensitive skin and the hard press of his torso against her back, their legs entwined and his morning erection nuzzled against her butt.

What she did mind, however, was when any of this happened at the butt crack of dawn. Ada opened her eyes just enough to read 6:50am on the alarm clock.

"Sy," she groaned, stopping his wandering hands with hers, trying to trap them beneath her breasts. "Hold that thought for later, okay?"

She heard him chuckle behind her, his chest vibrating against her body as he freed his hands from her weak grip. "Later is for putting up the Christmas tree and the decorations," he teased, his right hand now drawing circles low on her stomach.

Ada groaned again, wanting to fight his tempting touch but unwilling to move away from his body heat. "I'll get up at 7:30." Those were the last words out of her mouth before she had drifted off again.

When she woke up once more, forty minutes later with the blast of her alarm clock, her back was cold and the smell of breakfast wafted through the air, filling her nostrils. Damn Syverson and his military sleep schedule! She had taken all her days off to spend them with him only to wake up even earlier than when she was working.

With barely open eyes, Ada threw on his shirt that hung on the chair and slowly made her way downstairs, following the scent of pancakes. She found Sy in front of the stove, just finishing up the last one before setting it on the huge pile of pancakes that looked fluffier than clouds. Ada had quickly learnt that while Sy was a disaster when it came to the art of cooking, he was the master of pancakes and barbecue.

"Good morning, sleepyhead," he greeted her and then smirked when he noticed her attire.

"Morning captain," she mumbled, walking up to him before patiently waiting until he leant down so that they could share a kiss. It always made him laugh when she did that: the adorable pout on her face when he didn't bend down for a kiss fast enough was worth waiting the extra second every time.

They ate in relative silence, mostly because Ada definitely wasn't a morning person, but the fact that Sy had a habit of stuffing his mouth full of food also played a role. When she was done eating, Ada pushed her plate and glass away, and brought her knees up to her chest, hugging her legs on the chair. She eyed her husband intently, waiting for him to finish eating with a grin on her lips.

"Why are you looking at me like that, darlin'?" Sy asked, eyebrow raised suspiciously before taking the last sip of his morning coffee.

Ada blushed, suddenly looking bashful. "Well… I was hoping we could go back upstairs and continue what you started earlier," she admitted in a tiny voice.

Sy laughed, a booming sound that filled the entire room before a shit-eating grin spread on his lips. "Tough luck, darlin'." He got up from his chair, standing in front of her across the narrow table. "Should have thought about that before falling asleep on me earlier."

Ada's mouth fell open. The cheek on this man! And what made it worse, was his huge smile that made him look like a very amused bear, with his hairy, tempting chest. He was toying with her. "Are you really saying no to sex?" She asked, cocking her brow. Sy wasn't really the type to turn down-

"Yes, no sex." He stated, suddenly looking very serious. "We have to head to the store to buy decorations, then put up the tree and hang the lights outside." Ada tried her best not to laugh. He sounded as if he were explaining a major, life or death, mission to her – not Christmas preparations. "You’re dismissed but I expect you back here in fifteen minutes, dressed and ready to go." With that, he turned around and started gathering the plates and silverware to put them in the dishwasher.

"Yes, sir."

Ada knew better than to talk back. First, when he had something in mind, it was nearly impossible to talk him out of it. Second, she hoped that the sooner they were done with this, the sooner she could get laid. Third, he had used his Captain voice that somehow always managed to make an obedient little soldier out of her.

Though, rationally, she also didn't want to make it any more difficult for him. He had confessed to her a few nights ago why he'd felt so uneasy when they had gone grocery shopping: the gondolas were too tall which led to lots of blind spots and the amount of people meant he couldn't rely on his hearing sense to detect potential danger. 'It just screams ambush,' he told her.

Ada couldn't quite imagine what he must have experienced that a supermarket or a store would translate into danger, but it was not her place to question him. Instead, she had kissed his forehead in bed and offered to start doing their shopping on her own. Sy had promptly refused, suggesting they simply go early in the mornings, when there were less people and less distracting noises.

Now at Target, she was immensely glad she had gotten out of bed, the sight alone was worth it. It wasn't everyday you'd see Sy pick up a bunch of Christmas tree baubles and inspect each one of them carefully before determining which ones were worthy enough to make it to their living room. Ada sneaked a picture for safekeeping and then decided to send it to his mom as well. Family dinner was fast-approaching, and she'd seize all the cookie points she could get.

"Darlin'," Sy called, catching her attention. He was holding up an inflatable Santa who, instead of carrying gifts, dragged a bag full of liquor bottles and sported a drunk grin on his face. It was tacky beyond words. "Do 'you think we should get this, or will it just upset the neighborhood kids?"

Ada grimaced but tried to disguise it with a smile. She’d die before letting that thing on their lawn. “I think a neighborhood dog would tear it to bits within a second," she lied, trying to appear apologetic.

"Yeah, you're probably right."

°°°

The lights were up. It was a much quicker process with Sy's help. It was also the occasion for Ada to just sit back and relax because he was adamant, she shouldn’t step on a ladder to help. Instead, she had a glass of bourbon waiting for him for when he finished. It was 5pm somewhere after all.

"You said we had a tree!" Sy's deep voice reached her from the basement.

Ada threw her head back, sighing, before hurrying downstairs after him. "Yes, it's in that box over there," she pointed at a white cardboard box behind a couple of spare tires.

"Woman, it's tiny!" Sy complained, picking up the box and setting it down between them. It was about as tall as her. It was not that small.

"It's the one I've used every year since I moved in. It's pretty enough and doesn't take up too much space,” she defended.

In front of her, Sy exhaled loudly through his nostrils before rubbing his beard. She knew that move. It's what he did to remind himself she was not a soldier under his command, but his wife, and that he better measure his words unless he wanted to sleep on the sofa.

"Look, darlin'," he said calmly, enclosing her small hands in his much bigger ones. "This is my first Christmas home with my wife. I refuse to put up a minuscule, fake sapling in my home and call it a Christmas tree."

Ada was slightly taken aback. She didn’t know Christmas was this important to him. Though it was true he had been overseas on Christmas the past two years, so she could understand where he was coming from with wanting this Christmas to matter. Besides, it was endearing when he put it like that.

With a nibble on her lip, Ada gave in. "Okay. They're selling trees in that parking lot by the pharmacy."

Sy slowly shook his head, a mischievous look on his face. "No. We're going to get our own pine tree from the woods."

You gotta be kidding me, she groaned internally.  

°°°

Ada had no idea where they were. It hadn’t been that long of a ride, but there were no more houses or streets to be seen around them, just endless fields and a forest. It was only when Sy took a right turn, that she started spotting cars and what looked to be a very colorful barn which had been converted into a cozy boutique.

“Where are we?” She asked, staring out of the window as Sy looked for a place to park his truck.

“The Dallagher’s ranch,” he replied. “They do a corn maze and a pumpkin patch in the Fall, and in the Winter, you can pick up your own Christmas tree. My dad used to take Claire and I here every year.”

Oh… This was a family tradition. No wonder Sy made such a big deal about having a real tree for Christmas.

Once out of the car, they walked hand in hand through the dirt road until they reached the makeshift counter made of hay where you could get a handcart before heading out into the man-made pine forest and select a Christmas tree. Most people she saw, however, were already returning the handcarts and happily carrying their trees to their parked cars.

The old man by the cash register seemed to recognize Sy instantly, smiling warmly as he greeted him with a one-armed hug. Ada realized it was the ranch’s owner. “I haven’t seen you in years, Jack!” The old man exclaimed with a laugh before turning to Ada. “And who’s this pretty lady?”

“This is Ada, my wife,” Sy said, introducing them. He watched with amusement as Ada stumbled as the old man hugged her without a warning, taking her by surprise.

“Well, it’s great to meet you, Ada,” the man nodded once he had retreated, and then turned back to Sy. “Should I be offended I wasn’t invited to the wedding?” He teased.

Sy was already wrapping his arm around her shoulders, chuckling. “To be honest, Dallagher, there were no guests at the wedding,” he replied, amused at the way the old man frowned in a confused manner at that piece of information. “Actually, we came here to get a tree.”

“Of course!” Dallagher immediately turned and ordered the young boy in overalls to fetch them a handcart. “What size did you have in mind?”

“Something around seven feet,” Sy said, looking pensive as Ada looked up at him suspiciously, trying to figure out how much seven feet converted to in the metric system. Once she’d done the math, she pulled at Sy’s flannel sleeve to protest – that was way too big, it’d take up the whole living room – but the Dallagher’s grandson was already handing them the cart and leading them to the entrance.

“Trees that big are at the very back of the forest, you’ll have to walk a little.”

This turned out to be quite an understatement. Ada felt like they had been walking for literal years. While they had still come across other people at the beginning, mostly families, they were on their own now – that is if you didn’t count the many squirrels that kept appearing out of nowhere.

She stopped, grabbing the back of Sy’s red tartan shirt so he would be forced to pause as well. “Can’t we just take one of these?” Ads suggested, gesturing at the countless trees all around them. They were all pretty enough and considerably taller than her.

Sy huffed, biting his lip in amusement as he looked at her dispirited face. He’d told her she should probably get changed and wear more comfortable shoes before they left home, but she had insisted she wasn’t going to change clothes just to get a goddamn tree. “These are only around six feet, darlin’. And,” he paused, eyeing the trees more closely, “they’re not Nordmann firs. I want a Nordmann.”

Ada sighed defeatedly, but nodded all the same, starting to walk again when Sy took pity on her. “Do you want to sit on the handcart?”

The change on his wife’s face was instant, the frown lifting into a smile as she climbed on the cart and sat down in the middle, evening out her weight for him. “Is that better, darlin?” He asked teasingly.

She turned her head back just to make sure he saw her rolling her eyes.

By the time they reached an area with Nordmann trees that Sy considered nice and big enough, her butt was sore from the conjunction of the hard, wooden surface and the uneven ground. She wasn’t even sure she had made the better call or whether it would have been better to suffer in her new ankle boots instead.

“Which one is better?” Sy asked, pointing at two pine trees that looked virtually identical to her.

Ada shrugged, almost saying that he should choose before realizing how much time that would take. The man wasn’t picky about food, bedlinen or even the pillow he slept with, but apparently, he had to make sure he brought home the most perfect tree. She still couldn’t wrap her head around that. “The left one,” she said finally.

“Which one? Your left or my left?”

Breathing in deeply, she decided to just point at the tree she was talking about. Sy nodded thoughtfully and grabbed the saw he had brought with him and started to work on the tree. While she had been most eager to get this whole thing over with, it became an entirely different story now as she dreamily stared at her husband getting to work.

With most of his back facing her and one knee on the forest’s soft ground as he started sawing off the Nordmann fin, Sy looked absolutely delicious. The red flannel shirt unbuttoned over his white t-shirt and the jeans made him perfect sight with anyone with a lumberjack fantasy. Ada had never considered herself as having such a kink. A uniformed soldier, or even better, a captain? Hell yes. A strong, rugged husband capable of her breaking her in half? Also a big yes. A lumberjack? The thought had never crossed her mind in the past but there was no point in denying it now as she sat back on the wooden cart, watching Sy carefully saw down the giant tree.

She was wet. Horny. Aroused. You name it. It also didn’t help that they hadn’t had sex that day. Yet.

"Sy," she whined, just loud enough to get his attention, while swinging her legs in the air like a child.

"I'm almost done, darlin'," Sy responded, not bothering to turn around to look at her. "I want a nice, clean cut."

Yeah, and she want a nice, dirty fuck. Pouting, she watched him for a couple more seconds as he knelt in front of the base of the tree, deciding from which side he should bring the saw to the trunk next in order to make it even.

That was when Ada decided she was tired of waiting. Shuffling quietly, she slipped off her wet panties from under her dress and rolled them into a small ball before throwing it at her husband. It hit his left shoulder and rolled down his chest. Grinning wickedly, she leaned back on her shoulders and enjoyed the view, the muscles on his back shifting as he picked up the garment off the ground. If this didn't get her laid, nothing else would.

"Ada Metz Syverson," Sy groaned out her full name slowly, his voice even deeper than usual. He got back up on his feet and turned to face her, looking stern.

Suddenly she didn't feel so brave anymore, not when he had crossed the distance to her in two determined strides and went to tower over her small, sitting frame. His jaw was set, and his eyes were a darker shade of blue than usual. Ada moved her eyes down his body, her eyes pausing at the defined pectorals on his chest before sliding lower. He was definitely hard, the bulge on his jeans prominent.

"Just remember you asked for this."

She wanted to ask what this was supposed to be, but he didn’t give her the chance. “Legs,” he ordered, patting his shoulder as he came to stand just inches away from her. Almost unconsciously, she obeyed his order, her ankles coming to rest on the front of his shoulders, her feet framing his neck. “That’s a good girl,” he praised her with a quick kiss to her right calf before his large hands moved to the front of his jeans, just over the protruding tent and began undoing the belt and snap.

From this angle, Sy’s cock looked even bigger, the shiny glans flushed a deep pink. Ada swallowed tightly, her legs already shaking with anticipation and he hadn’t even touched her yet. Pumping his shaft with his right hand, Sy brought his left one to her core, rubbing the rough pad of his thumb over clit once or twice before sliding it between her folds. She was a dripping mess. Sy smirked when she keened eagerly at his touch, enjoying his ministrations until he pulled his hand away and brought it to his mouth, licking off her slick. “It’s good you’re so wet already because I just can’t wait to take you, darlin’.”

He wasn’t lying when he said he couldn’t wait. The next thing he did, was grabbing hold of his throbbing, hard cock and guiding himself into her. Ada moaned loudly at the intrusion, drowning out Sy’s own growl as her walls clenched around his cock, trying to get used to the abruptness and depth of the penetration.

“Fuck, Sy!” She cried out, not even sure what it was she wanted. “Don’t stop,” was all she could muster as he ploughed into her like there was no tomorrow, hitting her pleasure all at once.

He knew they were being too loud. They might be alone, but they were still out in the open air, and yet he just couldn’t find it in himself to care – not when she felt this good around his cock and her noises only heightened his fervor. If someone happened to stumble upon them, then they’d simply be in for a premium show,

It wasn’t long until her legs started shaking almost uncontrollably up in the air, prompting him to remove one hand from his steely grip on her hip and wrap his arms around her legs to keep them steady as he continued with jackhammer thrusts. “Are you going to cum for me, darlin’?” Sy panted, groaning out the question between clenched teeth even though he already knew the answer.

Ada didn’t manage to reply, the first waves of her orgasm already coursing through her when she moaned his name. Her hips canted up, her body tensed up like a bolt, and Sy knew he was done for right then. Her warm walls squeezed him impossibly tight inside of her, milking the cum right out of his cock while he fought to keep his balance as pleasure overtook him.

They came down from their heights slowly, chests heaving. Sy lazily removed her legs from his shoulders, massaging the strained muscles on her inner thighs before he set her legs down. This woman would be the end of him. “That was…” he panted, bending forward over her body to kiss her forehead, unable to find a proper adjective to describe what had just happened.

“Yeah,” Ada breathed out, nodding slowly.

Sy ended up having to carry her and the tree on the cart back to his truck because there was no way she was able to walk straight after that.

°°°

They finished decorating the giant tree. Ada had to admit it looked pretty although the red and gold decorations clashed with the color theme of their living room. She handed Sy the newly purchased baubles one by one – he was the only one capable of reaching the top.

On their way back home, she had somehow managed to convince Sy to stop at the therapist’s office – the one she had found had the highest ratings on Google. They had booked the first available appointment, which was just after the New Year and Sy had made it very clear to their secretary it was just a ‘testing appointment’ and that there was no need to set aside time slots for follow-up sessions yet because there was no guarantee he’d be back. His reluctance was palpable, but Ada was glad he was giving it a try at least. And if he didn’t like, then they’d figure out something else.

In the background, their wedding video kept playing and she wondered for how much longer she'd have to hear the sound of camera flashes as the chapel assistant took way too many photos of them in the most cliché poses you could imagine. Sy has insisted they put on their wedding video since they’d never gotten around to watch it and it fit the season, according to him. Slowly, the annoying sounds began fading away and Ada sighed with relief. Watching herself on TV sparked too much embarrassment in her.

"Hand me the big one with Rudolph, will you, darlin'," Sy asked from behind her, still meticulously decorating the tree.

Ada nodded, searching for the bauble he had in mind. It was still in the shopping bag, she remembered, lifting it off the floor to dig inside it.

Ada froze as a female chuckle was heard, unconsciously gripping the glass ornament too tightly in her hand. "Not that fast, Captain."

Behind her, Sy frowned. "What did you say?"

"Tonight, I'm in charge," she heard her own voice say - no, it was more like a purr.

"Shit!" Ada cursed loudly, letting the bauble fall back inside the bag and she hurried to the TV, her worst fear confirmed.

Sy followed her quickly, stopping just behind her, his hands on her shoulders. "Is that from our wedding night?" He asked slowly, his eyes locked on the screen as he watched his younger self being tied up to the bedposts by his wife.

"Yes," Ada cringed, her face a painful grimace. "I didn't even remember the sex tape."

"Me neither," Sy swallowed loudly, admittedly rapidly becoming aroused at the sight of his Ada doing a striptease on camera. She wore that red ensemble with the garter belt.

"I think the assistant never really ended the video after our wedding, only paused it and we later continued filming in the hotel instead of starting a new video," Ada commented, now understanding what had happened. How they’d even came up with the idea of filming a sex tape on their wedding night, she didn't know. Alcohol had probably played a part in it.

Sy was still staring in awe at the TV, enthralled by the sight of his wife deviously edging him, her hips swaying slowly, when her words slowly registered in his head. "Didn't we send copies of the video to our families?" He stammered, his voice uncharacteristically quiet and hesitant.

Silence fell between them as they both realized they had been dumb enough to send copies before watching it themselves. "Fuck!" Ada barked, seizing the remote to pause the video. "We sent that to my parents, your parents, your sister...," she listed, her face losing all color.

Suddenly, the sound of Sy's deep laughter filled her ears. She turned to him, aghast. How could he find this funny? This was peak cringe! She’d be one needing therapy after this!

"You know, darlin', watching this video was the first time my parents ever saw their daughter-in-law, before even meeting you in person." Sy explained, shaking his head with amusement.

Ada was mortified. No wonder Mr. Syverson had seemed on the verge of laughter the first time they'd met and Helen had given her the side eye. The woman had a USB stick in her home with an hour-long video of Ada fucking her son. "You know, Sy, this wedding video is also the first thing my parents saw of you." He stopped laughing abruptly, his face red, all amusement gone.

They both sat down on the couch next to each other, slowly coming to terms with the fact that pretty much their whole families had seen this, and never said anything, probably keeping it as an inside joke.

Sy broke the silence, his large hand reaching to rub her naked thigh. "You know, I don't think we should be embarrassed," he said, prompting her to stare back up at him, eyebrow raised dubiously. "The way you tied up my arms really enhanced my biceps and you looked adorably hot like a vicious kitten from hell."

°°°

@colourmeinblue​ @hail-horror-queen​ @youthought-iwasa-nicegirl​ @kmuir1​ @madbaddic7ed​ @coffeebreathy​ @purplelove75​ @summersong69​ @helenaellie​ @rn7rocks​ 

[aku-jumbi]

YOUR ART IS INCREDIBLE YOU’RE HONESTLY SO INSANELY TALENTED I AM HONESTLY IN AWE WHENEVER I SEE ONE OF YOUR ART PIECES, THEY’RE ALWAYS SO BEAUTIFUL!!! And pls ignore those haters they’re absolute idiots who seem to think asians only have certain features apparently and can’t seem to realise that there’s something called creative liberty😐

So many capital letters haha ^^ thank you a lot for your appreciation. *bow 😀 I gonna take your comment as opportunity to write down some thoughts I had on this topic.

Of course I am not painting isolated, I love to browse art from other artists, sometimes getting inspiration or just to get more stimulated. And for sure I stumble sometimes over art which technically is maybe not as refined but somehow hits me, then I stumble over art which is technically extremely good but well... I feel nothing but I still awe the beauty and there is even art which slightly disturbs me and fetishizes something I don't really am into... but dammit it's really well painted and I can just accept that the artist did a great job and I don't need to be in the fetish.

Then, there is also art which is technically undeveloped, due to the painters inexperience for example but I appreciate the try since ik myself, painting is work.

I caught myself a couple of times being about technically extremely versatile artists more critical and then thought.. who am I to judge, went into some introspection and realised: that was pure jealousy. Oh yeah, jealousy, nothing more, that yellow eyed monster within me trying to lower down others just to feel better myself. But... I never released that monster officially of course. In fact, before I leave a critical comment, I think twice and when I comment I just comment on the technical side. If the picture isn't violating any real persons or depicting very, very, very controversial topics like religion or politics to ridicule opinions of other people I basically don't care. Let people paint what they want, I don't need uniformity.

If someone wants to paint the earth is flat, just go ahead! First, idk if the person really thinks the earth is flat... or, is it maybe just some fantasy? Is it just for fun, did the artist just try out how the earth would look flat or is it easier for him to paint the earth kind of flat. Is the painter of that pic maybe someone who had no education and just painted what he sees and tries to imagine how it might look like. Or is the artist just painting something that came into his mind without a lot of thinking and it's now me interpreting something in his flat earth picture which he didn't even think of. But the most important thing: the earth won't get flatter just with that one flat earth painting.

Even with 1000 of that flat earth paintings, it won't. Being an individuum that is able to controle my emotions and to recognise what's important and what not I wouldn't even think to rent about that flat earth artist. Let him paint the flat earth, I can mildly smirk about him or shake my head and move on to the round earth painting I like most. There are more important things than to explode about a flat earth painting.

Now... I am not painting reality, I don't believe in my paintings showing reality or anything remotely close to reality. It's impossible that any character I paint is real. And I clearly distinguish between real people I see on the street or documentaries (I don't say media in general cuz... we only see the most beautiful people in movies or social media with all the filter and photoshop and it gives a contorted view on "reality") and painted anime charas. Recently I saw (oh I got actually an education by one of my "critics" in how I should paint!) a lot of realistic anime character fanarts which clearly just were repaints from given photographies of random prototype Asian models... the technical side was extremely good, forgetting the fact that it still was a repaint and repaint is always a bit easier since u don't need to think about the facial features anymore yourself... but the charas... they looked so realistic, so much like real people that again I wasn't able to see the anime chara anymore. For me it was just the random prototype Asian model (perfect as they are, because, well... model) from the photography with slightly changed hair and... blue eyes.

But! And now that's the big difference, I look at that kind of very realistic fanart and although it doesn't even remotely remind me of that anime chara and I feel nothing for it than some portrait photography repaint, it would never, never come into my mind commenting with (insert the vomit emoji here, cuz that's what happened to my art) a disgracing and hurtful comment just because I think my vision, my very private believe of what is a good fanart stands above anything else and I have the right and privilege to lower the artist in any kind of way. Who am I to feel superior?... exactly, I don't have that right, especially on something very subjective as looks of anime charas in fanart.

I realised by a couple of conversations with people who have no issues with my art that a lot of the hate roots from wanting to feel moral-wise superior. It's like a trend to stomp over everything, doesn't even need to be very important or influential, that doesn't meet the standard of what is moralistic acceptable in one owns subjective believe. Some call it being sensitive about what art should show and I guess the haters would call themselves even very sensitive and caring for over people... but want to be frank here, it's not sensitivity, it's being bored by their own lives and having no creative potential themselves. So.. what are we gonna do today? Complaining, cancelling, hating, yeah, that's a good hobby!

Sorry to inform you that your "sensitivity" is hurting me a lot.

I don't aim to call out specifically with my art to a particular group of people or disgracing them, there is clearly no hate inside or anything, I certainly don't try to portrait reality... dammit it's Anime charas! They aren't real in the first place! Gargh... If someone has an issue with the facial looks of how I paint, I am very very fine with a comment like: "hey you know, somehow I see in my mind Miya Osamu looking more like Toshirou Mifune... but, you know, it's ok, you aren't a mind reader. :) I would like to share my fanart of Osamu with u, too then u can see what I have in mind." That's a respectful, a very constructive and even inviting and mature comment. If I sounded a bit rude in the past towards haters it wasn't because I am rude but I got a couple of very humiliating comments that my only way to answer was to give them the same medicine back they forced me to swallow.

Hfff... so long... sorry.

Idk if haters or immature people who come across my paintings are going to read this and understand what I want to say so just for repeat: I don't have anything bad in mind with my art, I don't try to colonialize Asia, I don't see my art as absolute truth and its not a perfect replication of the original anime character. It's fan-ta-sy. If u don't like the style and aesthetic, move on, paint your own interpretation, that's the best way to put my art aside if u want to put it aside.

And for the people who like my art, you are my heroes, not because u are flattering me with comments (yeah also that tho lol) but because u let me see that there are rational thinking people out there, not oversensitive and in constant alarm to sniff around like blood dogs finding another topic to rent about but just enjoying fanart at what it is: fanart. It's you who enjoy their lives and I am enjoying it, too.

Thank you! :)

[japansace]

Underrated Yuri on Ice Fics (Part 2!)

*cracks knuckles* All right, here we go.

People wanted more underrated YOI fic recommendations, so I’m here to provide. Please read these fics if you’re interested and give them some love! (Oh, and feel free to send any fics you think should be added to the list my way. Perhaps I’ll make a part three of this someday.)

You, in Sunlight by pandabomb [ T // 3.5K words // complete ]

Summary: To acquaintances and strangers, Viktor was excellent at hiding his true feelings. Yuuri was beginning to forget what it meant to be a stranger to him.

A soft, quiet snapshot from Yuuri and Viktor's earliest days in St. Petersburg together.

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Some much needed contextualizing of Yuuri settling into life in St. Petersburg and Victor becoming acclimated to his new role as skater, coach, and fiancé. Just unbearably sweet all around.

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Comfort and Joy by sublime_jumbles [ G // 3.5K words // complete ]

Summary: The Japanese restaurant with the most stars on Yelp doesn't open until eleven, but that's all right. Yuuri is still sleeping soundly then, as Viktor gets up, gets dressed with the silent speed of a quick change, and scrawls a note in hasty English on a slip of hotel stationery.

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Just some sweet fluff post-episode twelve. Victor wakes before Yuuri and decides to spoil him while they’re still in their hotel in Barcelona. It’s adorable and also has some great pro-chubby Yuuri Katsuki content, so it gets an A from me.

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Here Comes a Thought by @crossroadswrite [ G // 7K words // complete ]

Summary: Yuuri dreams about his last competition a lot. How could he not when it changed his life so viscerally.

In his dreams, it’s always falling. It’s never hitting the ground, because Yuuri knows what happens when he hits the ground – torn ACL, mild concussion and a nasty bruise on his head that had lasted for weeks. It’s never the pain he’s afraid of in his dreams, Yuuri’s well used to pain.

It’s the act of falling, the promise of pain and failure. It’s what falling means. It haunts Yuuri, even now when the bruise on his head is completely gone and his knee is slowly healing.

(Or: Yuuri struggles with being forced into retirement by an injury, Victor struggles with getting Yuuri to talk about it, and they still love each other through all of it.)

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This fic made me sob like a little bitch.

Yeah. It’s just that good.

It’s so heart-wrenching but so them. It hurts in all the best ways. And it’s also the reason I can’t ever go to an aquarium again without feeling just a bit morose.

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A Place for You and Me by whatsup_buttercup [ E // 5K words // complete ]

Summary: “Be careful in the hallway,” Viktor says. “I had to move the bookshelf out of the bedroom.”

A famous interior decorator from a magazine placed that bookshelf there two years ago. Yuuri remembers the glossy spread about Viktor Nikiforov’s modern apartment very well. It’s still in a protective plastic cover in his parent’s attic. “Why?”

“I bought something new,” Viktor says, cryptic.

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Omegaverse! Yuuri’s stubborn pride rears its ugly head here, and it feels so in-character. Poor Victor is just trying his best--but when they fail, they fail together.

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Hopeless, Breathless, Baby Can’t You See? by xylophones [ G // 15.5K words // complete ]

Summary: The weekend of last year’s Rostelecom cup, Yuuri Katsuki declared his love for fried pork in a press conference, got caught by paparazzi rescuing a dog from a river, revealed a short program costume that showed off his multitude of soulmate marks, and broke Viktor’s world record. All while being, objectively, the cutest human being on the planet.

The entire skating world–– including Viktor–– fell in love instantly.

Or: a soulmate au where the first time you touch your soulmate(s), colored marks appear on your skin. Yuuri has more marks than Viktor’s ever seen on someone. Viktor has none.

--

This is one of my new favorite YOI fics--if not my absolute favorite. I’m a sucker for a good soulmate AU, and this is one of the best: feel-sy, subversive, and stunningly gorgeous. Please read this one! You won’t regret it.

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Tangerine Trees, Marmalade Skies by @ebenroot [ T // 6.5K words // complete ]

Summary: It’s not that Yuri thinks Victor is a big fat liar. It just, well, Yuri thinks Victor is a big fucking liar.

“The Sun,” Yuri repeats for the fifth time that day. “You’re engaged to the Sun.”

Or: a (slightly confusing and annoyingly sappy) account of Victor Nikiforov's engagement to the Sun, as narrated by #1 employee Yuri Plisetsky

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I’ve reread this one... a shameful amount of times. It’s pure fluff, plain and simple, with a sprinkle of casual magic that feels like a hug. 10/10, would recommend.

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Memento Amare by @belovedyuuri [ G // 5K words // complete ]

Summary: Parting ways has never been in their plans, not even for just a moment; it's no surprise Yuuri and Victor have a terrible time saying goodbye, even if for just several weeks. When longing hits hard, memories sweeten it right up.

(You've heard about History Makers. Now prepare for Memory Makers. In which Yuuri and Victor share their life and love with each other even when they're not physically together.)

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Just some good ol’ fashioned feels about Yuuri and Victor, doing the hard work of trying to make their relationship work after their whirlwind romance. It’s absolutely gorgeous and wholesome all around.

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Tongue Tied by @stammiviktor [ T // 2.5K words // complete ]

Summary: The silver-haired man in front of Yuuri in line is the only good thing to come of the situation.

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Another new fic that has rocketed up the list of my absolute favorites. Yuuri and Victor pretending to be married to get airport preferential treatment--while at the same time not sharing a common language between them--had me positively rolling with laughter. Perfect, fabulous, a thousand chef’s kisses. I want ten movies and a TV series.

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Work of Art by Athra (getaway_machine) [ E // 2.5K words // complete ]

Summary: Victor admires the work of art that is his beautiful husband.

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Some lovely smut, shibari edition! It’s feels very them, while still being hot as hell. Read for a good time.

Something Borrowed, Something Blue, A Thousand Times I’d Marry You by @ewokthrowdown [ T // 2.5K // complete ]

Summary: What’s more, Yuuri’s got fantastic honeymoon ideas. While Victor’s planning the wedding, Yuuri’s casually asks the fiancés where they’re going, then always has a hundred ideas for romantic things to do once they’re there. A cute bakery that does heart shaped macarons, the best spot for stargazing, which bar has swing dance. Victor had asked Yuuri how he knew all these lovely things to do, and Yuuri, blushing furiously, had told him that these were all the things he planned to do with Victor but either hadn’t had time to while they themselves visited, or they hadn’t been to that particular location yet. The fact that Yuuri has dates planned for them in pretty much every romantic spot on the planet, had Victor swooning in a calculated way that meant Yuuri had to catch him.

[Future fic in which Victor quits skating to be Yuuri's Katsuki-Nikiforov's trophy husband and a wedding planner.]

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And let’s end with another sweet one! 

This one is sooooooo cute! Victor becomes a wedding planner after he retires, and the fic shows us little snapshots of him and Yuuri traveling all over the world to make people’s dreams come true. They’re just in love, love, love, and I’m always 100% here for it.

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All right, let’s wrap it up here. Thank you for reading this post! Please check out these fics and their writers if they happen to catch your eye--and my inbox is always open for more suggestions! And before I go, let me just leave my own fics here in case you’d like to look into my credentials~

[natsunoomoi]

Holy crap. So like with the previous post I was thinking about Fushigi Yuugi again and kind of checking up on what was up with Byakko Senki cuz I haven’t checked on it in awhile and it looks like it’s on hiatus right now and she’s working more on Arata Kangatari, which is cool cuz I thought she finished that, but I guess not and she just took a break to like finish Genbu and do Byakko or something.

But also I was scrolling through her Twitter to find that she is really into this Chinese movie “Legend of Luo Xiaohei” and so I was checking that out cuz so ironic that Japanese mangaka that got her big break writing manga about an ancient China setting is interested in a Chinese movie. So just looking through her Twitter thread and apparently she found out about Luo Xiaohei from watching a CM while watching Modao Zushi. LMAO It’s amazing, but this situation just feels like an ouroboros eating itself because I have a high suspicion that her work on Fushigi Yuugi imported into China back in the 90s was probably a huge influence on Chinese creators and artists to write their own stories about their culture and helped to popularize the xianxia and wuxia novel movements in more modern times. On top of that MXTX said she was inspired by a D. Gray-man fanfic and while she mentioned that title specifically, I think in the periphery Fushigi Yuugi itself and more recently Arata were probably an influence too. Growing up a number of my Chinese friends also said they got into anime overall because of Fushigi Yuugi because it was an anime and work from Japan about their culture and arguably done pretty damn well. 

In terms of the danmei movement as well, I’m pretty sure Fushigi Yuugi was included in what started the movement as the movement was influenced by Japanese BL that came in via Taiwan, and the beginning of Fushigi Yuugi had the whole thing between Nuriko and Hotohori even though that kind of went nowhere, Nuriko dies to everyone’s depression (I have several friends who refuse to watch the rest of the series after Nuriko dies because it’s not the same), and that whole ship goes off a weird deep end with Hotohori marrying a woman that looks like Nuriko. Also, the exact reasons for Nuriko being in the harem and all that. There was a whole lot of shipping in the 90s from Fushigi Yuugi and it was one of the first series that had a male cast that was almost entirely ikemen and I think the actual first reverse harem. A number of shows probably simultaneously popularized the female gaze in mainstream anime, but Fushigi Yuugi was definitely one of them. Like literally one or two years before there was a lot of manly men and guy’s guys kind of anime characters, but beautiful ikemen, no, not really. In 2021, there are some things about the series that are a bit problematic, but it’s influence on the world is pretty significant. It was one of the first shows I’d seen that had any kind of reference to homosexuality or transgender in it and although it’s not necessarily portrayed well, the fact that it was there and that Nuriko was such a beloved character it started a conversation and helped us to get to a time where the topics she represents can be more discussed. I’m actually not even sure what pronouns would be appropriate for Nuriko because of her reasons for what she did and in Japanese the pronoun problem is actually really easy to get around because you just don’t have a subject or speaking in 3rd person is totally normal. But still, without her the minds of thousands or even millions of fans around the world would not have been opened as early to LGBT topics. Her existence, even problematic as it might be, allowed people to consider and love a character of a different sexual orientation or gender identity than their own and just open their minds to just not being a homophobic, biphobic (cuz relationship with Miaka?), or transphobic piece of shit.

Then also Genbu Kaiden and Uruki’s powers. Yeah.... I mean, also kind of with the earlier discussion, the idea of dual cultivation I don’t recall even being brought up much before in most media, but such ideas were also banned and repressed in China at a certain point. Documentation shows it was more of an ancient practice that suddenly became known about again. The book I was talking about that has it more explicitly written is banned in China has its only original surviving copy in the Japanese National Library as it was one of the books brought to Japan by scholars escaping persecution in China and bringing with them books to escape one of the many episodes of mass book burning. According to my Chinese lit professor who had us read an English translation of that book as a part of our curriculum anyway. Supposedly the translator of said book had to go to Japan to read the original in order to write the translation. There’s apparently a number of ancient Chinese texts like that because book burnings were a thing at different points in Chinese history, so if you are a scholar of Chinese lit if you want a complete picture of your field for some texts you do actually have to come to Japan to do your research. But yeah, that power mentioned in that very book Watase-sensei gave to Soi, and also the story of Fushigi Yuugi takes place in that very library that contains that ancient copy of a banned and would have been lost to the world book. If you’re asking why a “dirty” book would be something a scholar would grab to save, ancient lit scholars do regard it as a rather well-written piece of literature even though the content of it is basically taboo.

But also the Fushigi Yuugi Suzaku Ibun game is a hot mess when it comes to this same issue because if you romance Nuriko you can save her from death and my friend Hikari said she wasn’t sure if she was happy about fucking with the universe like that. (I’m not either.) Nuriko’s death was such a huge impact on the story and everything. Also, notably, most of the Suzaku Shichiseishi died, but Nuriko had the LONGEST tribute. Like Chiriko and Mitsukake’s was like a tag on of a few minutes. Hotohori’s was too even, but it was addressed more in the later manga chapters the publisher pressured her to write and in the OVA series afterward.

Also, like Fushigi Yuugi other than the Neverending Story was one of the original sucked into a book holy shit how do I survive stories. Idk if SVSSS is influenced by it in that way, but it’s fair to draw the parallels because of the similar theme. It’s just canonically Taiitsu Shinjin is not behind the the system in the book and in a number of ways Shen Yuan is more competent than Miaka. Miaka gets a lot of shit though and when I re-watched FY a second time I actually found the gripes people generally have about it make up only a small part of the series. People just talk it up so much that it seems like a huge thing when it’s not. Plus the technical canon is only the original TV series because that’s where Watase wanted to end the story and that is an emotional rollercoaster that makes you cry so good. But like there’s some other kinds of parallels as well like how toward the end and like the last two episodes you hate Nakago up until the exact moment you find out why he’s an absolute asshole, and characters straight up criticizing him about how he’s an asshole the whole damn series just gives the same kind of feels that SY gave criticizing the original throughout SVSSS. Can’t say for sure, but Fushigi Yuugi has a lot of clout in a general sense.

But yeah, Watase-sensei said that she was really surprised by the animation quality of Chinese animation these days and she thought Japanese anime was going down in comparison. Same, yo. Same. But still, her work was probably a huge contributor to the movement that allowed MDZS to exist because her art is damn beautiful, Chinese influenced, and she had one of the first works in Asia to like bring the subject of LGBT issues into the mainstream after years of oppression from mostly Western influence because in pre-modern Asia no one gave a shit before and there’s a significant amount of classical novels that address some form of LGBT issues at least in Japanese lit and like even academic documentation that notes Confucius saying that doing it with a guy was better than with a woman. And the author of the work that probably was very influential to BL back in the 90s watches MDZS. She noted that there wasn’t any in the actual anime, which is true, but I think she helped that series to exist and she watches the anime so it’s kind of exciting.

I hope it influences her to go finish Byakko, but OMG I want her to finish Arata too because I like Arata. I should try to find time to read more of it because the anime is too short and the wiki descriptions of what’s happening are so damn confusing and incomplete.

[waveridden]

FIC: some things you just can’t refuse

“No, no, Sy, hear me out.” Aava leans in. “Hypothetically, where do I get a copy of the paperwork I would need to take on a CI?” (Campaign White Collar AU, 2k, undertones of Tryst/Aava/Leenik)

AUcember || read on ao3

#

Aava has her gun up as she steps into the warehouse. She knows she doesn’t need to, knows this place like the back of her hand and exactly where she should go, but it’s good to be prepared anything.

“FBI,” she calls, not really trying to project her voice. The echo bounces around the warehouse. “Come out where I can see you. Hands up.”

“I’ll put my hands wherever you want them,” a voice calls back. It’s weak, like he’s making the joke because he thinks she’s expecting it.

Aava holsters her gun. “And if I want them in the air?”

Tryst Valentine, escaped fucking convict, leans out from behind a pillar. “You gonna shoot me, Agent Arek?”

“You gonna give me a reason to?”

“I hope not. C’mere.”

Aava sighs, but she goes over to where he’s sitting against the pillar and sinks down next to him, sitting on her hands. “Hey.”

“Hey.” Tryst gives her a wan smile. “How’ve you been?”

“Oh, you know. Solving crimes, chasing down escaped cons. The usual.” She cuts her eyes over to him, assessing. “How about you?”

“You heard from Leenik lately?”

She frowns. She has never visited Tryst during his sentence - it’s inappropriate for agents to fraternize with the criminals they catch - but she and Leenik get coffee once a week. Except. “Not in a couple weeks.”

Tryst thumps his head against the pillar behind him. “That’s what I thought.”

“Hasn’t he been visiting you?”

“Not in a couple weeks.”

“So you broke out of state prison to try and find him?”

“It’s Leenik,” Tryst says, like that makes absolute sense.

The problem is, it does make absolute sense. Leenik is an art forger, just like Tryst is, but he didn’t get caught in their job that went south. And afterwards, he and Aava had become friends, and Aava was… well, she was sort of taken with him. He’s sweet, and he’s smart, and he’s excitable. Aava understands why Tryst refused to give him up for a shorter sentence. Aava understands a lot about Tryst, because of Leenik.

“They’re going to put you away for a long time for this,” Aava says, as gently as she can. “This isn’t the kind of thing that you come back from. Forgery is a lot less of a problem than a prison break.”

“I couldn’t find him.” Tryst’s head lolls from side to side, and Aava sighs and lowers her shoulder. His head plops onto it. They haven’t had a lot of in person interaction, not outside of the investigation and hearings and the like, but she knows Leenik loves him. That counts for a lot. “I looked everywhere.”

“I’m looking too.”

“You don’t know all the everywheres that I do.”

“And you didn’t have a lot of time to look everywhere.”

“I don’t want to go back,” Tryst says, barely above a whisper. Aava’s heart clenches. “I don’t- Aava, I can’t go back to prison not knowing what happened to him. He’s not going to be able to visit me when I go back, I know the kind of sentence I’m going to get.”

Aava lifts a hand to stroke through his hair. “I can’t help you.”

“Can you find some way-”

“You can’t ask me to let you go.”

“Never,” Tryst says quickly. “I would rather have you in the FBI, because that means one of us can keep looking for him.”

Aava thinks about it, carefully. It’s true that she can’t do much - definitely can’t let Tryst go, definitely can’t keep him a secret. That’ll end badly for the both of them. But there are other things she can do, visitations and work releases and - hm.

“I’ll figure something out,” Aava says, slowly. “But I need to arrest you again.”

“Looking for a reason to hold my hand?”

“Looking for a reason to tie you up,” Aava answers tartly.

Tryst laughs, sounding a little more like himself. “Well, if the lady insists…”

“The law insists.”

“What you say matters more to me than the law,” Tryst says, with finality. The scary thing is, Aava’s pretty sure that he means it.

 #

 “Hypothetically,” Aava says.

Synox groans. “No, no, wherever this is going-”

“No, no, Sy, hear me out.” Aava leans in. “Hypothetically, where do I get a copy of the paperwork I would need to take on a CI?”

Synox narrows his eyes at her. Aava only gives him the most blank, professional look she can manage, like that’s going to prevent him from realizing that she has a plan of some kind.

“Who,” he says at last, which is promising, if she plays her cards right.

“Professional forger. Served most of his sentence.”

“You trust this forger?”

“I think he’s competent, and I think he’s going to be able to do his job.”

“That wasn’t a yes.”

“You don’t want me to say yes,” Aava says, which is true. It also masks the fact that her answer is a resounding, bone-deep yes.

“Agent Arek, you’re one of the best agents we have.”

She keeps her face impassive. “I’m aware, sir.”

Synox snorts. “No, Aava, I don’t think you are. You’re one of the only people where I don’t care if you say you trust this CI with your bleeding heart. If you say that, I will assume that the guy deserves it and give you the paperwork anyways. You’re asking because it’ll make you better at this job.”

“I’m asking because I want this CI to work with me.”

“Reason enough for me,” Synox says. “Paperwork will be on your desk tomorrow morning, and it’ll be back on mine by the time you leave for the day.”

“Yes, sir.”

“You and Mister Valentine had better solve a lot of cases for me.”

Aava finally lets herself smile. Of course Synox would know that it’s Tryst. The fact that he trusts her means a lot more when she knows the depth of that trust. “We wouldn’t do anything less, Sy.”

“Good,” Synox says. “Because I’m expecting a lot from you.”

“That’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me,” Aava says mildly, and Synox grins at her.

 #

 Tryst walks out of the prison gates and directly into Aava’s arm, burying his nose in her hair as he does. “Thank you,” he says, quiet against her ear. “Thank you, thank-”

“Uh,” Fentara says, with all of the grace of a highly trained new agent. “Should I do something about this?”

Aava waves her off, with the hand that isn’t currently rubbing between Tryst’s shoulder blades. “We’ll give him a minute.”

“Are you sure?”

“If it were anyone other than him, I’d let you tase him.”

Fentara’s eyes flick up and down Tryst as he steps back. She doesn’t look impressed, which is one of Aava’s favorite things about Fentara. “Whatever you say, boss.”

“Boss?” Tryst repeats. “Agent Arek, you mean to tell me you’re supervising this young lady?”

“Don’t get me wrong, she could knock you on your ass in a heartbeat,” Aava says. This is the wrong thing to say, judging by the weird look on Tryst’s face. “And you are barking up the wrong tree by even looking at her, so-”

“Ah.” Tryst’s face clears. “Not that I was interested to begin with, but-”

“I can tase you even if she doesn’t ask me to,” Fentara says. “It might be impolite, but-”

“But I trust Agent Ren’s judgment.” Aava arches an eyebrow at Tryst, who’s giving her this weird, sort of gross soft smile. “Please remember that I’m supervising you, Mister Valentine. So anything beyond professional courtesy-”

“Oh, professional courtesy,” Tryst says glibly. “Yeah, I know all about that. And you can tell me all about it later, but last week when I broke out was the first time I had food other than prison food in a very long time, so if I could get some more good food-”

“Has your ankle bracelet been outfitted yet?”

Tryst leans down and draws up the left leg of his pants to reveal a standard issue ankle bracelet, with a light blinking green. “Newest accessory, all the models are clamoring over it.”

“They explain to you how that works?”

“I have to be within a two mile radius of the office at all times, unless I’m with you, and that includes where I’ll be living,” Tryst says dutifully. “Now, what does this all mean for me being able to eat?”

Aava smirks. “It means we’re getting dinner together.”

Tryst gasps, putting a dramatic hand to his chest. “But Agent Arek, what about your agent in training?”

“Agent Ren has other plans.”

“Got a date with a girl,” Fentara says. “And I’m not interested in spending any more time with your clown ass outside of work hours.”

“Wow,” Tryst says. “You really are training her, aren’t you? She sounds exactly like her.”

“The way I raised her,” Aava says dryly. “Let’s go.”

 #

 “This isn’t a restaurant,” Tryst says as they pull up to the high-rise. “Not that I’m complaining about whatever’s going on here, but seriously, I wasn’t-”

“Trystan,” Aava sighs. They let Fentara out a few minutes ago, and Aava said something about needing to make one more stop. “You know where we are.”

Tryst looks out the window, eyes moving up and down. She can tell the exact moment he realizes where they are, because his mouth forms a perfect O. “This- have you-”

“I started stopping by every day two weeks ago, just to see.” Aava puts the car in park and leans forward, resting her chin on the steering wheel. “And then twice a day. Nothing ever changes or moves. He hasn’t been here in a while.”

“Does it look like there was a struggle?”

“Not at all.”

“He wouldn’t leave,” Tryst says, hovering somewhere between desperation and certainty. “Not without telling someone. You, or me, or- or the other contacts he has, or-”

“I know.” She lifts a hand without looking to stroke it down his shoulder, and he goes quiet. “I know he wouldn’t.”

“Is Tony still there?”

“The pit bull? He hasn’t been in the apartment, and I haven’t found him boarded anywhere.”

“God, Leenik,” Tryst murmurs. He reaches up and takes Aava’s hand absently, tangling their fingers together, and she lets him. “Why did you bring me here? To look for evidence?”

“Actually,” Aava says, “it’s because I checked with the landlord and rent is paid up for a couple months. And we are a cool 1.85 miles southeast of the FBI office, and this is a lot nicer than the place they were looking at putting you up.”

Tryst squeezes her hand. “Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me, help me find him.”

“I will. I have resources you don’t have.”

Tryst and Leenik were part of a group. Aava knows this. Aava knows that he has people on his side that she doesn’t know about, that she’ll never really get to meet. She didn’t know how to get in touch with them. And sure, having Tryst out of prison will mean that she has someone else to help her at work, but more than that it means that she has more lines connecting her to Leenik. More ways to get him back.

“Okay,” Aava says softly. “We’re gonna figure this out. But now, let’s get you some real dinner. Anything you want.”

“The FBI will pay for anything I want?”

“No, but depending on what you want, I might.” She finally looks over at him, and he grins at her, all soft and mushy. “Oh, shut up.”

“I didn’t say anything,” Tryst says, looking as shit-eating and stupidly fond as he always does. “Take me wherever, I’m not picky.”

“Oh, you’re not picky,” Aava mutters, and starts the car. “Whatever you say, Valentine.”

[kelasparmak]

i’ve been relistening to campaign lately since i’ve been spending a lot of time on trains, and here are some dumb thoughts that i wanted to unload on y’all (spoilers for bounty above bespin - just after episode 53 in regular campaign - and probably for all of the evil campaign episodes) :

when i first listened to leenik's flashback arc i was convinced that zero would turn out to be venton. that's been looking less and less likely to me as the show's gone on, but i'm relistening to the show now and i recently got to zero's first appearance and i just. i am so worried that he really will turn out to be venton.

like:

both played by tyler davis

kat casually asking johnny 'what colour do reptomammals—what colour do you people bleed?', cause like... are the gank reptomammals? wookiepedia says that they're furry, which doesn't sound very reptilian.

the gank are also typically v short (supposedly their average height is ~5'3") and bulky. zero is 6'3" (venton was about six foot tall) and i don't think his build has been specifically described but i think marian churchland's art is at least semi-official, and in that he's pretty willowy (so, y'know, more rodian-looking).

obviously, the important one: 'he's johnny's dad, right?' 'well, he's covered head-to-toe, he could be anyone', 'yeah, but this is star wars, you don't just cut off your not-kid's hand'

on the same note, zero's a bounty hunter and an assassin and works for the empire and was tasked with eliminating the kaiburr crystals and any rebels there. so it seems weird that instead of just straight-up killing or capturing leenik he'd specifically cut off his hand on the same side as his eyepatch so that they'd match.

zero's been working with blue for 5-6 years, which would line up

i don't think the specific age difference between leenik and venton is given, but zero's five years older than leenik which seems about right

it makes a LOT of sense for venton-as-zero to want hover boots after that fall

both missing an arm and an eye – zero's are both on left; venton's severed arm was also on the left. his eyepatch was over the right eye iirc, but zero's one visible eye seems to be cybernetic, and the other is just completely covered. rodian eyes and gank eyes look very different, so if zero were venton that'd explain why he'd want to cover the biological one.

not that there needs to be more justification than canon gives for blue and zero being close, but their relationship has a very similar combination of pettiness, bickering and ride-or-die protectiveness as there was between venton and leenik (and both pairs also have private/secret conversations during group interactions) (this doesn't necessarily mean that zero sees blue as a little brother, personally i ship them, but it does fit how we see venton interact with people he cares about)

they both like giving people nicknames (nikki, char, sy)

the reason leenik handles (or, uh, tries to handle) the talking in their flashback episodes is that venton doesn't like (and seems to get kinda anxious about?) talking to people. one of zero's first lines in evil campaign is, sarcastically, 'yeah, i need to talk to more people. more distressed people. that's what i need.'

zero does not like mining planets (he does like jungle planets, though!)

0ni a) rhymes with tony and b) sounds an awful lot like 'onii' as in 'big brother'. also zero rhymes with geelo (sort of, anyway – consonance/alliteration/rhyme of l and r is perfectly acceptable in early-ish medieval irish/welsh so maybe that's biasing me re: how similar they sound)

zero is a good bounty hunter and holds a pretty powerful position in the empire (not quite ruling the stars, but hey, he's not too far off)

 [wild-haired guy saying 'ALIENS'] conspiracy theorist level hints:

stazi was a kaiburr crystals fan; zero first turns up at a kaiburr crystals show, to capture/kill the kaiburr crystals and their fans

both use vibroswords (and 'the zero system' blue and zero apparently use on the regular involves zero holding his to someone's neck to keep them restrained, which venton also does with stazi)

zero's colour scheme when he was introduced gave him accents in teal, which was also venton's skintone. in evil campaign 5, he's wearing dark blue and red, which... dark blue's not as close, but venton had red hair, so it's still a similar colour scheme.

both have a tendency to repeat statements mantra-like – 'i am a good bounty hunter and i will rule the stars' / 'i love being a cyborg'

i've had almost this exact same argument with myself before, over whether a character who appears later in the show and hides their face was a character previously thought dead, and it turned out that they were the same guy despite very similar counter-arguments to the ones i'm about to raise -

on the other hand:

they’re both played by tyler davis, which is just... almost too obvious? unless it's a double bluff? but then what if it's a TRIPLE bluff? or—[aaaand fade out, fade back in on about the twentieth iteration]. also, tyler davis playing both of them could explain a lot of similarities in phrasing and behaviour.

zero's quite a bit more, idk, confident and rough around the edges and snarky than venton, which could just be development (leenik's changed a fair bit since then too) but that's not necessarily the development we'd expect

on that note, venton doesn't have any reason to cut off leenik's hand – he didn't seem to resent or blame him at all when he fell, and it seems a pretty cruel way to just incapacitate someone, especially since he used a vibrosword to do it

rendezvous is pretty friendly with zero and she's worked jobs with him in the past, and it also seems like she knew venton, at least in passing. so if they were the same guy we might expect her to make the connection, and it's unlikely that if she did she wouldn't have told leenik.

bossk and zero apparently know each other too, so he could have recognised him too (though idk if bossk would actually care enough to recognise him, or tell anyone if he did)

chartreuse presumably goes to bhikke every year, so if zero also goes regularly she might have recognised him? but also he'd probably make an effort not to be recognised and there'd presumably be no reason for her to suspect.

aava and zero get along fairly well and she's a force user, so though he probably wouldn't have told her, she probably would've noticed something was up and might've made the connection between them. on the other hand, force powers probably aren't that specific, and they didn't get to know each other properly until a week before bhikke, and honestly even if she did know i very much doubt she'd have told leenik

the fact that tobi turned out to be obito in naruto means absolutely fuck-all because naruto’s writing and plotlines are terrible  and make very little sense

[canaryatlaw]

So I was a lazy bum today but was also productive and had shit to get done so I don't feel too bad about it and I'm gonna try to make up for it by being proactive tomorrow. But yeah, self-care for me lately has been like blowing responsibilities off so I can do shit I actually need to do, so I blew off mock trial practice and they weren't happy about it which made me feel bad but I was tired, dammit, and I had to do shit. Anyway. I woke up at some point and looked up where the nearest art supply store was because I needed to get supplies for the Valentine's Day card making event we're having on Wednesday. To my surprise one popped up like two blocks from me on Main Street that I hadn't seen before but I had the feeling it was gonna be like, a ritzy art supply store (because I live in a hipster neighborhood like that) when I needed more like a Michaels, but I set out to check it out and if not go to Michaels and then come back to go grocery shopping. So I head over there and as I thought, it's got like paintbrushes and figure models and not like Valentine's Day stickers and markers haha so that was a bus. I knew there was a Michaels with the dsw/marshalls I'd gone to before. So I hopped on the bus and went there, then roamed around the store for a while picking up different stuff and weighing what I could get. I ended up with a pack of construction paper, assorted stickers, 40 markers, 3 glue sticks, 3 pairs of scissors, and other Valentine's related little foam things and such and maybe something else but that's what I can remember for now lol. The line was like super long, and when I was like halfway through the lady in front of me just turns around with this panicked look on her face and is like "ohmygosh, I picked up the wrong color of these, I need to go and-" and I was like yeah of course go switch them out haha it's not gonna really affect anyone else's life, and she's like "are you sure??" and I was just like yeah of course! So she runs through the store and comes back and is just like "thank you so much!!" Haha and it just kind of made me laugh cuz like I don't understand people who would've been like "no, I won't hold your place in line, because I'm an asshole human being" so I was glad at least I could make her day a little better. Back on the bus to my neighborhood, and then to the grocery store. I didn't need too many things, just sort of an in between trip for milk, cereal, yogurt, and various lunch stuff and snacks for it, given how often I wind up packing lunches/dinners. The check out line is always super long there too, but there was a very cute little boy in the cart in front of me who kept looking at me and smiling and it kept me very entertained haha much to his and his mother's amusement. Headed home and put my groceries away and then jumped right into my reading for crim pro, being that it's the reading I'm actually doing every week, lol. It was only like 30 pages and one case though so it only took like an hour and a half, and the case was one I was familiar with because of the undisclosed podcast and their coverage of the Adnan Syed case, because it's the case that sets up the standard for ineffective assistance of counsel claims, so I knew much of what the substance of the case would be. I didn't imagine the facts of the case to be what they were though, like for it to make it to the Supreme Court I would've thought the facts would've been more compelling, but this guy ignored all his lawyers advice right through the sentencing hearing and wound up getting sentenced to death for 3 capital murders and various other crimes, then claims his lawyer was ineffective in finding enough stuff on mitigating circumstances at the sentencing hearing, and I'm just like, dude, as much as I abhor the death penalty and hate to think that anyone would meet such a fate, you really dug your own hole here by ignoring literally everything your lawyer told you, and the court agreed, but the test is still used for ineffective assistance of counsel claims (in the case that you might be interested I won't bore you with an explanation, but just google the Strickland case and you'll find plenty on it). I wanted to finish early enough to still get some cooking done because I had set some chicken out to defrost to make a big batch meal for me to take with me during the week, and of course I finish literally at 7 o click on the dot which was my goal lol so that was good. I had decided I was gonna try this recipe for ritz cracker ranch chicken, which is unsurprisingly made out of chicken, ranch, and crushed ritz crackers, lol. Pretty simple, just cut the chicken into strips, dip it in the ranch, then the crushed ritz, stick it on a baking sheet and let it bake for 25 minutes, and you're done, and it turned out pretty good, definitely easy enough. I was itching to bake something else though, so I decided to try another version of blueberry muffins because I was less than satisfied by the last recipe I tried. So while the chicken cooked I ran around doing that and then set them in the oven while I retired to my laptop and the tv. They also came out pretty good. The only thing waiting on my dvr for me to watch was how to get away with murder, which I'm still largely apathetic to at this point but I'll keep watching for now because I'm already invested at this point. It was fine I guess, Frank confessing wasn't terribly surprising, though I wouldn't be surprised if he bsed the whole thing (but also wouldn't be surprised if he really did it). I think it's an interesting story choice to keep Annalise in jail for so long, and to clearly show her deteriorating so much. Definitely reminds me of Cary's prison arc on TGW but less well done haha. And I miss the cases, dammit! I don't like it just being stupid drama of all the people they've fucking killed, lol. I wasn't very surprised when Oliver hacked the DA and they were investigating Annalise on like all of the people they fucking killed because like of course someone's gonna put together a hella lot of people around her have been dying, though she may not have directly been murdering them. But yeah, it was fine. I had to pick a new show now, so on the recommendation of a few people recently I started crazy ex-girlfriend which I totally love so far. I somehow didn't know/heard at some point but forgot that it was a musical so of course that was lovely, and I was instantly like omg Rebecca is totally me, even before I found out she was a lawyer haha so that really just cemented it. It's super clever and I'm loving the music so far, so I'm looking forward, to watching the rest of it. And yeah, that about wrapped up my night. The deal with tomorrow is that nursery sign ups are like nonexistent, we currently have nobody on the 8 am and 1 person for the 9:30, so I was texting the lady who's over me about it and she said she thinks her and the other lady over the kids ministry could cover the 8, and I said I would try to make it for the 9:30 because that's generally the craziest service, averaging like 15-20 babies and obviously that would be a problem for like one or two people haha. Normally the 9:30 is anchored by my lawyer couple friends, but they're at the Midwestern public interest law conference this weekend which some people from my school are also at, so that's cool for them. But yeah, I'm gonna try really really hard not to be lazy in the morning because I mean, babies, and if things work out as planned I should be able to do nursery, service, nursery, which is a pretty perfect set up for getting to see lots of babies and still getting to see the service and having it broken up a bit. So yeah, until then, sleep. Goodnight dudes. I hope you had a lovely Saturday.

[joneswilliam72]

Watch: Music and resistance to drug warrior tyranny – Boiler Room’s To Live and Die in Manila.

I caught up with Angela Stephenson, the director behind To Live and Die in Manila (which you can watch free below), Boiler Room's new short documentary on President Rodrigo Duterte's brutal authoritarianism and extra-judicial killings in the Philippines – of not just drug pushers but users too – and the artists who oppose it using their creative output.

Since becoming president of the Philippines in 2016, Rodrigo Duterte's war on drugs has caused widespread fear and devastation across Manila. Set in one of the world's most dangerous cities, To Live and Die in Manila gives a vital voice to the musicians (particularly artists like Eyedress, Owfuck, BP Valenzuela, Teenage Granny and Jeona Zoleta) putting their life on the line for their right to showcase creativity that their country associates with drug crimes punishable by death.

This is actually the second interview I've done with Stephenson on this project. The first can be read here at CitizenTruth.org – it gets more deeply into the politics and happenings underlying the resistance of these Filipino artists to Duterte's authoritarian rule.

Still from TO LIVE AND DIE IN MANILA.

For the interview here, Stephenson and I sat down for a chat more about her artistic methods and the actual aesthetic of To Live and Die in Manila – along with the huge challenges of filming such a fundamentally subversive piece in a country where many basic rights have been stripped away.

Catch To Live and Die in Manila – and the interview – below.

TO LIVE AND DIE IN MANILA.

Hello Angela and welcome to The 405! To start things off, I was hoping we could an idea of your artistic history. What attracted you to film as an art form?

Hi, thank you! I've always been interested in photography, but when I didn't get into my chosen university to study for a photography degree, I put it on the backburner and continued to shoot only as a hobby. I started with doing gig photography for fun, and through that I fell into the music industry. I worked with Boiler Room for several years on their live broadcast team, filming parties all over the world. When they started looking at covering more of the context behind the shows, I expressed an interest in moving into a more storytelling role, and with that I eventually started making documentaries and other short-form pieces, it felt like a natural progression.

What initially inspired you to do To Live and Die in Manila?

I really just wanted to shine a spotlight on the amazing music coming out of Manila. I realised I was in a good position to be able to help put Filipino music culture on the map, but I couldn't do that without addressing the situation in the country that all these artists were subjected to and openly vocal about in a lot of their music.

The visual language of the film really suited the subject matter. Gritty, realistic and this sort of balance between despair and precarious hope (reflected in the musicians and artists too). Could we get a look at your process to get the visuals you did?

I guess it was a case of trying to find the balance between celebrating Filipino culture and capturing the realities of life in Manila. I think despair and hope are feelings that you can flit between on an almost daily basis in Manila. To me, the city is beautiful, colourful, and visually stimulating and I wanted to capture that, but it comes with a lot of hard truths that you need to swallow in order to just go about your day. Accepting the traffic, the poverty, and the underlying feeling of danger is all part of life in the city.

Indeed.

Still from TO LIVE AND DIE IN MANILA.

The visuals were shot over a period of two years on two different trips to Manila. On one of the trips I met Paco Raterta, who is a very talented director living and working out of Manila, and he lent me a lot of the visuals he used to create the music video for Eyedress's "Manila Ice" single. Snippets of the video are also featured in the film, particularly the scenes depicting the anonymous dead bodies that you see before Den Sy Ty's performance. These are the kind of images you were seeing in the news at the time.

Cool. Any interesting or funny moments stick out from the filming process?

The whole process felt like one big adventure, I'll never forget it. People are always pretty curious when you're out filming on the streets. I remember being asked angrily by a stranger if I was a journalist when I jumped out of the car to quickly film the posters depicting Duterte as Hitler. People are very sensitive to criticism of the president, and the Philippines is considered the deadliest country in Asia to be a journalist, they're often killed in their line of work and the current government is very keen on silencing Duterte's detractors, so it was sobering to feel threatened for just trying to capture footage in the street.

Really heroic what journalists do in fundamentally authoritarian countries like the Philippines under Duterte.

The part where Owfuck talks about taking acid as part of their creative writing process used footage shot in the red light district, it's quite a common place for people to shoot in because of all the neon lights.

Still from TO LIVE AND DIE IN MANILA showing a scene from the city's interior.

I bet. The realism it brought added greatly to the atmosphere.

I shot it on a big Russian 16mm camera that I bought second hand, and I hadn't inserted the film correctly so all the footage from that day came back fucked up. It ended up being a total blessing in disguise as it actually visually reflected an acid trip quite accurately.

Gotta love those kind of happy accidents. What were the other challenges like?

Taking what is not a popular stance on the government was always going to be challenging. My Filipino mother falls into the majority of the population, being a supporter of Duterte, and I kept the entire process a secret from her until the film was finished. When I eventually sent her the final edit, she was really upset by it. The fact that I had to release the film knowing it could put a strain on our relationship was a burden, but I knew that her view would be shared by a lot of Filipinos, and it prepared me for any criticism to come, from people who would be unhappy by the way the country and the president had been depicted.

Wow yeah.

The criticism just proves how much this film and more like it are really needed, there's a cognitive shift that needs to take place in order for a lot of Filipinos to sympathise with the people whose lives are being affected by the issues discussed here. Jess Kohl's Anarchy in the Philippines film, which was a great portrayal of a punk community in Manila and Tarlac reacting to the war on drugs, also suffered the same fate in the comments section.

Still from TO LIVE AND DIE IN MANILA.

My challenge was inevitably having to challenge a Filipino audience to put their pride aside. This film isn't about blaming Duterte for everything, it's about asking ourselves what attitudes we're reinforcing by allowing our leader to condemn an entire group of people to death, instead of effectively engaging with the affected communities and helping tackle the problem from the root. It's about what example we're setting for ourselves and the next generation, who have only ever been taught that life is cheap in the Philippines.

That gets excellently into another pertinent question. What do you hope will be the main takeaway for people from the film?

I hope that the film engages young Filipinos in the Philippines and around the world, there's a lot of people out there like me who don't believe that we're going in the right direction, that the government is taking shortcuts to tackle a very complex problem.

I am as well, by the way.

Giving the artists in the film a platform to express how they feel and respond to their surroundings is just one small thing I could do to allow people to see how they're being affected directly and indirectly, how they're suffering mentally from living in a society that doesn't place enough value on human lives. We need to strive for a more peaceful society, and it's possible to leave behind the culture of violence that's been passed down from previous governments, but only if we collectively choose to move away from what is deeply rooted classism and seek the truth without prejudice.

Agreed.

The freedom to live without fear is something we should all be entitled to, not just the privileged few who can ignore the problem because they're happy to live under an increasingly authoritarian regime that only sacrifices the freedoms of those considered below them.

Music and art are pretty profound things in terms of their ability to effect social change. What can our readers do – if anything – to help in that?

I feel lucky to have been given the opportunity to talk about what's going on, I think people just being aware of the issues is important, especially in an age of fake news and the government trying to cover its tracks to deny any wrongdoing.

Still from TO LIVE AND DIE IN MANILA.

Couldn't agree more. It's a scourge really.

Duterte's style of leadership is hugely controversial and that also makes it distracting. Showing support for the journalists, photojournalists, musicians and artists who are often putting their lives or careers on the line to criticise the government, will hopefully go a long way. Their efforts can't be for nothing, and there's few people in the country actually taking them seriously. I urge people interested in this topic to look into the work of Filipinos like Maria Ressa, who has just been named as one of Time's people of year alongside other journalists from around the world. And Ezra Acayan, who is a photographer that has been on the ground documenting the suffering of the families who have lost loved ones to the war on drugs since its inception.

Absolutely. Real journalists need support now more than ever.

One question I ask everybody, what films and directors do you consider most pivotal on forming your outlook as a visual artist?

Y Tu Mamá También by Alfonso Cuarón has been one of my favourite films since I was a teenager, and it was special in the way that it was not only adventurous, beautifully shot, and emotionally stirring but also subtly captured the political and economic realities of Mexico at the time and the classist tension between the two main protagonists.

Watching LoveTrue by Alma Har'el was also quite pivotal for me, she blurred the lines between documentary and narrative in such a fascinating way and you could really feel just how involved she was in the lives of her subjects during the filming process.

Still from TO LIVE AND DIE IN MANILA.

And visually, Robby Müller's cinematography has always inspired me. I actually filmed the Manila sunset scene at the beginning of To Live and Die in Manila for another short film I was making based in the city, but when Eyedress said "to live and die in Manila" during our interview, I had to pull it from the other film to use as a tribute to Müller’s work on the opening credits of To Live and Die in LA, it felt quite serendipitous.

Wow. Very fitting. What makes a great film? And what makes a great documentary?

Personally I'm very visually driven, so the cinematography has to be considered and captivating.

Absolutely.

I think first and foremost however I'm quite emotional so I love films that evoke any feelings that I can relate to but can also introduce me to new feelings, and I appreciate any film that can do this by taking me out of the comfort of reality, even if only for a brief moment. While I think documentaries absolutely benefit from having an impartial view and a lot of them need this in order to tell a story accurately, I also think there's a special place for documentaries where you can feel the director has worked alongside the subjects to really express their point of view – that takes a lot of empathy.

Definitely. Have to get in the thick of it – as you did here – to get something really compelling. Finally, what's next for you?

I hope to continue making films that both celebrate and critique different aspects of Filipino culture. Everyone you meet there has an interesting story to tell and I'd like to depict some of these in both documentary and narrative film formats. It's also worth exploring the huge population of overseas Filipinos – there's a lot of issues surrounding the treatment of domestic workers abroad for example. Eyedress and I also made a music video together after meeting and working on this film, so I'd like to form more relationships with artists and make videos together that way too.

Stephenson directed this Eyedress video.

from The 405 http://bit.ly/2sQgxLS