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set-phasers-to-whump · 4 years ago

Text

hiding injury

prompt: hiding injury

whumpee: eddie diaz

fandom: 911

hi here is my fave trope ft. one of my fave characters!!! this kinda got away from me in length lmao but i loved writing it and im not mad ab how it turned out. i hope you enjoy!!!!

Something had felt...off about tonight’s victory. It had been in the way his opponent had looked at him, not the usual disappointment and anger that typically came with losing a fight, but something stronger, more violent. Eddie’d brushed it off. He’d had worse looks thrown at him.

He’s regretting having brushed it off right about now. If he hadn’t, if he’d just talked to the guy, calmed him down, something, he wouldn’t be here right now, hand pressed to a stab wound in his torso, leaning up against the door of his truck, feeling blood slowly seep through his fingers, warm and wet.

For a split second, his non-occupied hand reaches for his phone, but he stops himself before he even unlocks it. He can’t call 911. If he calls 911, then the 118 will discover what it is he’s been doing...they’ll realize that he’s dangerous, reckless, stupid, for having gotten himself stabbed, and he doesn’t want them to think that. He can’t lose them, not now. So no 911. He’ll be fine. He used to be a medic. He knows how to treat a stab wound.

He gets into his truck, left hand still firmly pressed to his torso. He fumbles around with the other until he finds a rag on the floor. Not bothering to think about where it might’ve been, Eddie balls it up and presses it as hard as he can into the wound, gritting his teeth to stop from screaming.

He drives home as carefully as he can, for the most part keeping a hand pressing the rag to his torso, but occasionally having to let go. His lap and seat are coated in sticky blood by the time he gets home.

For the first time in his life, he’s grateful that Chris isn’t there. There’s no hiding the blood coating his torso, legs, hands… He doesn’t know how he’d even begin to explain this to his son.

Eddie gets himself inside and into the bathroom, making a pit stop in the kitchen to grab some alcohol first - this isn’t going to be pleasant.

He stands in front of the mirror, dripping blood onto a towel he’d pulled quickly down from the rack. A first aid kit sits open in front of him. He takes a larger-than-probably-necessary sip from the bottle in his hand, then sets it heavily down onto the counter and gets to work.

First, he has to clean the wound. He grabs a bottle of saline solution, grits his teeth, and pours it onto his torso, hissing at the stinging feeling.

He waits for the pain from that to subside before starting on the more painful part of the task - the stitches. He pours some hydrogen peroxide over his supplies to make sure they’re clean - this cannot get infected - and then he takes a deep breath and begins.

In, out, in, out, in, out...it’s not a terribly long wound, which is good, because every stitch feels like getting stabbed again (which it technically is). He’s crying when he ties the thread off, and his hands are beginning to shake. He’s just glad they waited until he didn’t have a needle poking through his skin.

Eddie carefully sticks a gauze pad over the stitches, then gives himself a once-over in the mirror, hoping he’ll be able to say he looks pretty good for a guy that just stitched himself up.

But he doesn’t. His face is slightly pale and his eyes are red and there’s blood smeared all over his body like paint on a canvas. He can’t go to sleep like this, although sleep is about the only thing he wants to do at the moment. He’s got to clean himself up.

There’s no way he’s getting in the shower with his freshly-done stitches, so he settles for ruining several washcloths, cleaning his body with water from the sink. He can’t get all of the blood, because he can’t quite bend over without his torso pulling in a way that suggests more stitches will be imminent if he keeps doing it. But most of the blood is removed from his body, anyway, which is good enough for him. He strips out of his bloody shorts and puts them, the washcloths, and the towel from under his feet into the trash. He’ll take it out as soon as he gets redressed, so Chris won’t find them.

He puts on clean pajama pants, not bothering to run the risk of putting on a shirt, and grabs the trash, taking it outside to the can on the curb, pain thrumming through him with every step. That done, he returns to the bathroom and wipes his blood off of the counter, extremely grateful that none had dripped off of the towel and onto the floor.

He runs a quick check of the house, making sure there’s no blood on any of the floors (there is, but he scuffs a towel over it with his foot, which is not bloodsoaked enough to warrant the trash, but is instead tossed into the washing machine). He locks the doors, triple-checking to make sure they’re secure, and does the same with the windows. He doesn’t particularly think the guy that stabbed him is going to come after again (and even if he wanted to, it’s not like he knows where Eddie lives), but it never hurts to be cautious.

When all that is done, Eddie finally lets himself sink very carefully into his bed, placing a couple more towels under him in case his wound should start bleeding in his sleep. He prays it won’t. He doesn’t want to have to stitch his skin up again.

He wakes up in the morning, immediately checking himself for blood, which, fortunately, hasn’t seeped out of the gauze. There's a few spots on the gauze itself, but he needs to change it anyway.

It looks pretty good, Eddie thinks, eyeing the wound in front of the mirror. Not infected, stitches holding...about as good as he can expect.

He gets dressed, very painfully, and nearly dislocates his arm trying to get his shirt on without causing any stress on his chest. He makes a halfhearted attempt to make himself look like he didn’t just climb out of bed and head straight to work, but that is what he looks like, he’s sure.

Buck confirms this for him the second he walks through the station doors. “You look like shit, Eddie,” he says, bumping Eddie’s shoulder with his own.

Eddie gives him a smile that feels more like a grimace. “Overslept,” he says. Buck nods. “Chris was at that sleepover with...oh, what was her name...Olivia? Bet you expected him to wake you up early for breakfast.”

Eddie nods, surprised that Buck remembers where Chris is. He’d ordinarily smile at the fact, but currently can't bring himself to.

They head up the stairs to the loft, Eddie dragging along behind Buck significantly. Every step pulls on his stitches, and he feels like he can literally feel them starting to pull apart. Which he very well could be feeling, he knows. He just hopes he isn’t. They can’t know about this.

Of course, for them to not know about this, he has to act completely normal. Which is a task far easier said than done. As soon as he steps foot into the loft, Bobby’s tossing a container of oatmeal at him from the kitchen, with instructions to come over and help him out. Eddie catches the container with a barely concealed wince, and reluctantly goes into the kitchen to help Bobby, leaning up against the counter when he can.

“You okay?” Bobby asks him, as the team settles down to eat breakfast.

“Yeah,” Eddie says, though it doesn’t sound very convincing, even to his own ears.

Bobby nods, not pushing the issue. Eddie sees Buck look like he’s about to say something, but Bobby interrupts him by telling everyone what they’ve got on their plates today - cleaning the station. There are general groans from around the table, but Eddie’s never been more excited at the thought of mopping. He’s pretty sure he can do that, but rescuing someone from a burning building might push him a bit too far.

And if that’s the case, he shouldn’t be here. Not that he should be here anyway, he knows. Ideally, he should be at the hospital. But he can’t be there, and if he’d called in sick today they would have been concerned anyway, and worse, someone might have come over to check on him. So he’s here, gratefully grabbing a mop from the supply closet.

He turns around, mop in hand, and comes face to face with Buck.

“Look, I know we’re still...not on the most solid ground,” Buck starts, “but I am sorry, Eddie. I told you why I did what I did, and I understand if it’ll take you some time to process that, but…”

“It’s fine, Buck,” he says, as kindly as he can muster up the energy to do. “Really.” He means it, though he’s pretty sure his words lack the sincerity he feels.

Buck looks at him doubtingly, but after a second he seems to accept that answer, and then, before Eddie can stop him or back away or do anything, Buck’s hugging him tightly around the middle.

It would be just about the nicest feeling in the world if it didn’t make him want to scream in pain. As it is, he manages to turn the scream into a low groan, muffled into the fabric of Buck’s shirt.

Buck, of course, hears it anyway. He pulls back, arms on Eddie’s shoulders, scrutinizing him. “What was that?”

“Nothing,” Eddie says, trying to sound dismissive. Before Buck can say anything else, he adds, “we really should get to mopping.”

Buck can’t argue with that, so they begin their chore, though Eddie doubts that Buck is going to drop this.

Fifteen minutes of painful labor later, Eddie’s taking a break (hiding from the torture of the mop) in the locker room. Even the simple task had been absolute hell on his stab wound, and he can feel wetness beginning to seep through the gauze. He’s extremely grateful that his shirt is dark enough to hide the stain that is surely growing on it.

Knuckles rap at the glass. Eddie starts and stands up, turning around and coming, again, face-to-face with Buck. Can we talk? he mouths, and Eddie can’t exactly say no, so he nods.

Buck comes into the locker room looking somewhere between hurt and angry. “What’s up with you?” he asks.

Eddie turns his face away from Buck’s eyes. “Nothing,” he says, and Buck laughs humorlessly.

“Right, ‘cause that sounds so believable. Eds, you’ve been acting weird all day, you still look like shit even after Bobby’s breakfast, and I’ve caught you wincing at least five times in the past twenty minutes. What’s up?”

Eddie shakes his head. He can’t do this...he can’t let them know. Nobody can know about this side of him, this anger and this pain and this goddamn stab wound…

Which all of a sudden hurts a lot more. Eddie snaps open eyes he hadn’t realized he’d closed and sees Buck’s hand pressing into his torso, not yet touching the wound, but extremely close.

“Stop,” he whispers, but Buck presses on.

“Not until you tell me what’s wrong with you,” Buck insists, moving his hand and pressing down directly on top of Eddie’s injury.

He makes a noise like a strangled scream, and Buck pulls his hand away suddenly. “What the hell, Eddie?” he asks, and then he looks at his own hands, which are covered in Eddie’s blood.

“What...the hell?”

Eddie shakes his head. Buck pushes him down onto a bench, and Eddie goes willingly. Buck pulls his shirt off over his head, jostling his arms, and Eddie doesn’t make a sound. His eyes have gone unfocused and his vision has gone blurry from tears he’s unwilling to let fall, but he can still make out the shape of Buck in front of him, knows what his face looks like without having to see it. Disappointed. Angry. Disgusted. He knows this must be how Buck feels. It’s how he feels.

A hand touches his face, cool and soft, and Buck’s voice sounds much the same when he says Eddie’s name.

Buck moves his hand back to Eddie’s torso, this time gently touching the skin around the wound, pulling back the gauze carefully. Eddie can’t stop himself from whimpering, which he immediately hates himself for, but Buck doesn’t seem to feel the same way when he apologizes and puts a soothing hand in Eddie’s hair.

“Eddie. Eddie, can you look at me? Please?”

Eddie focuses his eyes as best as he can and looks at Buck, who is crouched on the floor in front of him. “Eddie, what happened?”

He can’t hide it now...Buck knows, and they’re all going to know, know how weak and angry and in pain he is, and then they are going to hate him for it.

“Hey, hey, Eddie. It’s okay. I’m not going to be mad at you or anything. I promise. Just please tell me what happened so I know how to help you.”

Buck’s hand is back on his face, brushing away tears that he hadn’t ever wanted Buck to see. He takes in a ragged breath.

“Got stabbed.”

“Okay,” Buck says. “Okay.”

“I’m sorry,” he says in return. It’s the only thing he can think of to say, and it’s not enough, it’s never enough, he’s never enough…

“You don’t need to be sorry, Eds. I’ve got you. We’ve got you.”

Buck shouts for Hen and Chim, and Eddie hears him explaining to them what’s happened. He tries not to pay attention, tries to ignore their voices. He can’t hear them. Can’t hear what they must think of him.

“Eddie?”

It’s Chim. He nods in response.

“We’re gonna take you to the hospital, alright?”

He nods again. He can’t fight them, he knows. He desperately hopes they won’t be too mad at him. “I’m sorry,” he says again.

“For what?”

It’s Hen this time, and he feels her hand on the back of his neck. He doesn’t reply, and this seems to be fine, because nobody asks him anything else, except for Buck, who asks if he’s ready and doesn’t give him time to answer before they’re all helping him up and onto a gurney, then pushing him into an ambulance.

Hen’s driving, and Buck and Chim are sitting in the back with him. Chim’s busy being a paramedic, though since Eddie’s already cleaned and stitched the wound there’s not a lot for him to do. He slips a pulse monitor onto Eddie’s finger and asks him how he’s feeling.

“Fine,” Eddie says, which is the wrong answer, obviously. Chim sighs and asks if he’s sure that he really feels fine, you know, with a stab wound to his torso and all.

“Fine. It hurts,” Eddie mutters, and Chim says a smug thank you that almost makes Eddie smile.

Buck grabs his hand from where he’s sitting next to Eddie, holding on tighter than can possibly be necessary, like he’s worried Eddie’s going to just fall away. Eddie wishes he had that kind of power.

“Will you tell us what happened?” Buck asks. Eddie shakes his head slightly. He can’t talk about it. Or, he can, but he doesn’t want to. Except some part of him does. He doesn’t say anything as he tries to figure that one out.

“Eddie, listen. I know you’re hurting right now. Because of Shannon, because of Chris, because of me...I know I haven’t been the best friend lately, but I have never stopped caring about you. Whatever happened, you can tell me. I promise I won’t judge you or be mad at you.”

“Same,” Chim adds, putting a hand on Eddie’s shoulder.

They won’t be mad, Eddie tries to tell himself. They won’t be mad. They won’t be mad.

“I was street fighting and it went bad,” he says, the words coming out of him in a rush.

“Okay,” Chim says, with professionalism. Buck, on the other hand, says nothing. He’s looking at Eddie with this unreadable expression on his face and he’s not saying anything, and Eddie thinks that this is it. This is something that can’t be looked past. This is the moment that Buck leaves him, for good.

“Okay,” Buck agrees, and his grip on Eddie’s hand tightens even more. “Thank you for telling us.”

They arrive at the hospital not ten seconds later, and then Buck, Chim, and Hen are walking beside him on the path to the doors, and when they reach the doors, rather than surrendering him to the doctors and turning around, they follow him in.

A few minutes later the four of them are crammed into a room that’s a little too small for all of them. Eddie’s lying on a table and the others are standing around him, giving the nurse a wide berth but anxiously looking over her shoulders. She’d told them there was no need for surgery and that he hadn’t lost enough blood to be in serious danger. She’d give him an anaesthetic, clean and stitch the wound, and then he’d be kept for observation for a couple hours. She had also pulled the other three away and talked to them about something Eddie hadn’t been able to hear. Him, most likely.

Buck, Chim, and Hen then clear out for the nurse, who smiles kindly at Eddie and asks whether he’s alright with receiving the local anaesthetic. He’d like to say no, that he’s fine, he’ll tough it out, but he is unfortunately now familiar with the feeling of stitches pulling through his skin, and he accepts the anaesthetic readily.

A few minutes later, he’s been stitched up far better than his at-home job, and he’s lying in a hospital bed trying to argue with the nurse about going home.

“It really is best if you stay, just until this evening, Mr. Diaz,” she’s saying, and he knows full well she’s right, but he hates it anyway. But Buck and Chim and Hen are standing behind her, eyeing him with looks that leave little point in arguing further.

He resigns himself to staying in the hospital for a little while. Buck, Chim, and Hen head back to the station and promise to come back as soon as they can. Eddie calls his abuela and asks whether she can pick up Chris from his sleepover. He tells her he’s been hurt on the job, nothing major, and he’ll be home that night. She says she’ll bring Chris by in an hour, and tells him he’d better not think he’s getting away with his shoddy explanation.

He tries to keep himself occupied as he waits for people to arrive, but time in the hospital passes extraordinarily slowly, and he finds himself bored out of his mind and kind of sleepy. He closes his eyes experimentally and finds it easy to drift off.

He wakes up to voices. Chris and Buck, he realizes, talking very excitedly about a new school project involving plants. Eddie smiles and opens his eyes.

“Dad!” Chris shouts excitedly, standing up so quickly he about topples over in his haste to give Eddie a hug. Buck catches him before he can fall and reminds him to be gentle, and then Chris is hugging him around the neck and saying he’s so glad he’s okay, and did he hear them talking about the new project? And does he think Buck can come over and help him work on it after school on Monday?

Eddie answers Chris’ questions as well as he can, and Chris seems satisfied with the answers, sinking back into his chair and grinning. Buck gives his hair a tousle and looks at Eddie. “You okay?”

Eddie nods. Now that they’re here, truly, the answer is yes. “I’m sorry,” he says, and he looks Buck straight on, hoping he’ll feel Eddie’s sincerity. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell anyone. I thought it would be fine. I just...I didn’t want you to know.”

“Know what?”

Eddie looks at Chris, who is looking between the two of them somewhat confusedly. He shakes his head. Chris doesn’t need to hear this.

At just that moment, there’s a knock on the door, and Eddie looks up to see Athena, with Harry and May in tow. “Bobby’ll be here as soon as he can,” she says to him. “And then you and I are going to talk.”

He nods. He’d figured this was coming. He’s just glad she hadn’t said they were going to talk right now.

“Hey Chris?” Buck asks, and Chris turns to him, grinning.

“Dad’s really okay?” Chris asks, before Buck can finish his sentence.

Buck nods. “He’s going to be just fine, I promise,” he says, holding up his hand like he’s swearing it. Chris giggles.

“Okay, Buck. Then...can I go play with Harry?”

Chris looks imploringly at Buck, then at Eddie, and Eddie catches Harry giving the same look to Athena. All three adults nod, and the two boys head out into the hallway, Athena and May following behind them. May closes the door behind her and smiles at the two of them, almost encouragingly? Which Eddie thinks is a bit odd. He’s broken away from the question by Buck slipping right back into their prior conversation.

“You didn’t want me to know what?”

Eddie takes a breath in, then turns his gaze to his hands, intertwined atop the blanket. He doesn’t think he can look at Buck while he says this.

“I didn’t want you to know how much it hurt. How angry I am. I didn’t want to tell you because then you would realize that I’m not enough, that I am angry and hurting all the time, and I’m not worth the trouble. I didn’t want you to know that about me. I didn’t...I didn’t want you to leave me.”

Buck doesn’t say anything. Eddie risks a glance up at him and sees that there are tears in Buck’s eyes. He hates himself for putting them there.

“Oh, Eddie,” Buck says, and his voice is as soft as anything. He grabs Eddie’s hand, rubbing his thumb in circles on the back of it. “Eddie, there is not a thing you could say to me that would make me leave you. That would make me stop loving you. I’m gonna be right here, no matter what. I’ll be here when you’re hurting, angry, upset...I love all of you, Eddie, not just the parts of you that you show to the world. All of you.”

He’s briefly interrupted by a whoop of joy from the hallway, a mix of Harry and Chris. Eddie looks back up at Buck, who’s smiling despite the tears on his face.

“And all of Chris. I’m not going to leave either of you, Eds. Even if I get mad at you sometimes. Even if I am mad at you for not telling me that you were hurting.”

Eddie’s crying too, now, and he feels Buck’s hand gently grab his chin, lifting his head so they lock eyes.

“You are more than enough, Eddie. For Chris, for the 118, for me...we all love you. We’re all right here. You don’t need to keep going through all of this alone.”

Eddie nods, feels a sob escape him, and then Buck’s holding him, incredibly gently but still grounding, running fingers through his hair and telling him, over and over, that he is enough. That he is loved. This just makes Eddie cry more, until finally he pushes Buck away, for once wanting to meet his eyes.

“I love you,” he says, and even after everything Buck’s said to him, he panics for a moment and wonders whether this is too much, and then Buck is moving towards him, slowly, looking at him like he wants confirmation that this is what Eddie wants, and of course this is what he wants, of course it is, and it must show in the look that he gives Buck in return, because the distance between them rapidly closes, and then he is kissing Evan Buckley, and Evan Buckley is kissing him.

“Eww!”

The two of them break apart in surprise, and Buck laughs softly, resting their foreheads together. The door to the room opens, and Chris, Harry, Athena, and May walk in.

“Kissing’s gross,” Harry says, and Chris nods. May whacks her little brother on the head. “What?” Harry protests. “It is.”

Eddie looks at Chris, for a second terrified that his son is going to hate him for this, but then Chris gives the most exasperated sigh that Eddie has ever heard come from a child, and he says, “I guess kissing’s okay.” Harry looks at him with betrayal on his face. “It’s still gross, mostly” he reassures, “but it’s not the worst. ‘Specially since we’re at the hospital. You’re supposed to kiss people better.”

Eddie smiles at his son, and he catches Buck doing the same, looking so incredibly happy and bright that it’s damn near painful to look him straight on.

“Yes!” May says suddenly, and she meets the questioning gazes of everyone in the room, looking up from her phone, where she’d been furiously texting. “Hen and Bobby and Dad owe me $20. I owe Chimney $20, too, though.”

Athena gives her daughter a look. “You bet on this?” she asks.

Eddie feels himself blush, and sees Buck’s cheeks darken, too. Had this been that obvious?

“Mom,” May starts, but Athena interrupts her. “And you lost to Chimney?”

May nods.

“And so did Bobby.”

Another nod.

“So we collectively owe Chimney $60. I can’t believe it. I swore I’d beat him. Ooh, he is gonna gloat.”

“Athena!” Buck yelps, mock hurt. “You bet on this?”

“It was a matter of time, Buckaroo.”

Buck smiles at her, and then turns his face back to Eddie. “A matter of time, huh?”

Eddie nods. “Apparently so.”

aghhhh thanks so much for reading this!!! i had literally the best time writing it and i hope you enjoyed!!!

#febuwhump2021 #febuwhumpday13 #hiding injury #911 #eddie diaz #hidden injury #field medicine #kinda #stabbed #hospital #cared for #my writing #i say things

19 notes · View notes

dreamsafterhours · 4 years ago

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college boyfriend!markhyuk au series: II (donghyuk’s pathway)

a universe in which roommates!markhyuk meet each other's s/o in class

markhyuk are roommates, my/n and dy/n are roommates, mark and dy/n take classes together and so do donghyuk and my/n — how will their fates intertwine?

genre: fluff pairings: platonic!mark+dy/n format: dotpoint AU universe: non idol, college best friend warning: a lil swearing (best get used to it lol)

masterlist

or click here to continue your friendship with paediatrics!haechan!

I �� | II | ⇥ III

II: relationship consolidation.. it’s platonic i swear

the fellowship continues (mark + dy/n)

so the month that follows your first meeting

is full of

a mixture of crackheadedness and tortured artist vibes

a lot of it is sending lit memes and other shit to each other at 2am when u have an 8am the next morning and yelling at each other for keeping u up so late but then laughing again at whatever the ridiculous punchline was

“to quote shakespeare’s hamlet, act v, scene ii, line 270: no”

/deep inhale/ /unhinged laughter/

that’s your inside joke for a whole two weeks mark couldn’t get the numbers right the first few times uwu poor confused thing but he got it after a while so good on him

in the second class after the first day, you try your best to find in him the crowd of people lining up to go into the lecture theatre but you can’t and it’s almost time to go in and—

oop you’re getting swept by the current of the masses

you still try to look for him even then

and luckily your attempts pay off !bc you do see him further up the stairs

,, but he’s

,.talking to another person, sitting in a seat on the end of the row

slightly disappointed that you can’t sit together and get to know him better and hopefully become friends but !! still optimistic that you’ll just make new friends

you file into an empty seat near his row a little further down the stairs from where he was sitting

you take out your materials and start to go over your notes from the day before when

someone plops himself down on the seat next to you

you look up and before you can smile in greeting, you recognise

it’s mark!!

he says “heyyy” in that rlly soft voice idk if you’ve seen the vid of him going ʰᶦ but that’s the voice he uses here

and you’re like “oh hi! wait i thought i saw you sitting over there” pointing behind u

and he’s like “oh i just met a friend and i was saving his girlfriend’s seat haha.. she just arrived so they kicked me out and i saw u and !!yeah”

and u nod at him like “nice nice i thought you ditched me” jokingly ofc

“no no i was actually trying to find you but.. you’re too short”

“i’m what”

/whispers/ “i’m sorry omg don’t kill me pls”

/stands up straighter to assert dominance/ “say that again, marcus. say that again”

ajsagdfo cuties

“ok then should we meet somewhere before the lectures”

so you decide on the benches outside the building as Your Spot™

the lecture’s just an introduction to the first text in the syllabus bc . second class

and so there’s quite a bit of note taking,, naturally

mark forgets what the prof says before he can write it down and this particular prof, you learn, is prone to talking fast and then switching the lecture slides before anyone can write anything important down

poor mark is doing a lot of looking up at the slides and then down at his notebook and :(((

so r u but u seem to have better memory than him so u either have the lecture slides up if you’re a typer with your notes or manage to write your notes and still listen to the prof if you’re a writer idk yalls preferences so

meanwhile mark whispers under his breath,, half to himself

“what” don’t we all,, mark.. don’t we all

and he does that a few times so you look over and he’s written barely anything so at that point he’s almost just resorted to listening to the prof and not taking notes at all

then he seems to catch himself and he starts writing down whatever key terms the prof is spewing and you realise

kid’s blanking out lmfao

so you tell him you’ll send your notes over to him after class and he’s like !! R U SURE im so sorry im not used to this sPEED and i can’t put my hand up and ask him to slow down someone else has to do that

and u just nod and tell him it’s all g

so class ends and you wave goodbye (confirming to meet at the benches next week too) to go to your tutorial class that happens to be right after the lecture and so does he,,

and this is your thought process for the next five or so minutes:

there’s only one exit so surely he’s only going outside and not the same way as me

oh look he’s going the same way as me.. i’m sure he’s just going to another building ooh that’s a pretty cool tree

hey we can walk to our next classes together and then split up where we have to go in different directions

is he turning left or right left or right i’m going left left or right left or—wait oh cool

ah there’s a bunch of classes in this building too surely he’s on a different floor. see he’s going up the stairs—wait he’s going up the stairs.. so am i..,,,

nah surely he’s going up another floor

wait if he’s going up another floor.. why isn’t he going on the elevator

does he have a fear of enclosed spaces

does he have childhood trauma in an elevator

maybe he keeps fit by climbing stairs

lol this is my floor, be funny if..

hang on a second

HANG ON A SECOND

“HANG ON A SECOND” that wasn’t one of your thoughts btw that was. out loud

very loud

and he turns around, startled at your voice again

looking up from his phone and eyes getting wider than they were in their initial reaction

“wHAT THE—WAIT HOLD UP HOLD UP HOLD UP—”

he’s giggling at this point bc it’s so funny to him

“HOLD—YOU’RE?? in this tute too??”

“are we??—”

“—in the same class?” yall say that in unison bc that’s the proliferation of a Wholesome Friendship™ right there

u laugh bc wow this is my new best friend

“this is crazyyy”

“yeah what the f..” he highkey cuts himself off bc i mean day 2 guys

but then you

“exactly what the fuck...”

lmfao he knows then that it’s ok to swear with you

n e ways

y’all keep talking until your tutor arrives and lets you in the class

ofc you sit next to each other in the tute as well

you have a great time and class ends quicker than you thought bc you’re having fun and that’s always gewd

so the next few weeks u’re just vibing with each other

walking to class together after ur lectures

walking each other to other classes

studying together in the library in your spare time catching up on content and exploring ideas discussed in tutes for your shakespearean sonnets class

"o romeo, romeo, wherefore were thou and juliet teenage dumbfucks”

he couldn’t stop laughing at that for three days straight

“t..teENAGE /wheeze/ dUMBFUCKS HAHAHAHAHA”

getting pretty close basically

sharing hobbies and music tastes (u find out he plays guitar and it’s the biggest possession he brought into his dorm from his house and listens to frank ocean and john mayer a lot, watches fullmetal alchemist)

sometimes you’ll come to meet him at the benches full on catwalking down the path with your airpods in and resting bitch face on listening to some dope shit while the crowd parts for you and he’s just like O.O

how is she friends with me

he thinks you’re so cool it’s cute

but he’s also alr convinced himself that you’re so out of his league he highkey won’t dare try and make a move

n e ways

he sees ur airpods and he’s like “aren’t you afraid you’re gonna lose them one day”

and you just look at him and go “do i look like a fool, marcus”

he laughs so hard at that

complaining to you abt his roommate in real time over text like

marcus the fool 🤡: “dude he’s whining at me to ‘play with him’ i don’t want to play with him”

marcus the fool 🤡: “now he’s getting jealous of u”

marcus the fool 🤡: “he asks who u think u r”

you: “tell him i would fight him”

marcus the fool 🤡: “he says u won’t win”

you: “bet”

marcus the fool 🤡: “i told him u don’t need to fight for my attention bc uve alr got it”

marcus the fool 🤡: “now he’s fake crying”

marcus the fool 🤡: “he’s telling me to leave the house and leave the kids”

you: “am i a homewrecker now”

marcus the fool 🤡: “he calls u a homewrecker”

you: “tell him i’ll kiss it better”

one day like a month or so into your friendship

you rush to the benches with that look on your face that says you’re about to murder someone which usually disappears when you see him and take out your airpods bc rbf

so he ,, approaches with caution ,,, easy does it,,

yes he’s wondering if it’s your time of month

ngl it åctually was which makes things worse

t e n t a t i v e l y he asks on the way into the lecture theatre

“hey dy/n u ok?? u look.. ok nvm”

bc u lowkey glared at him but u didn’t mean to i swear u just looked at him but u were alr in a bad mood

so ure like “sorry yes i’m fine i didn’t have my coffee today so i may be a bit cranky”

“what happened? u sleep in or smth”

“yeah i slept at 4 last night”

“wHY did u do that”

“idK but i was running late just now and the line at the cafe was so long i stood in line for five minutes and i said nop class is abt to start”

“oh okey”

this keeps bugging him all throughout the lecture

so he turns to u when the lecture is over and he’s like

“u have another lecture next right”

“yes marcus i have another lecture that you’re taking with me”

“come ditch with me i’ll shout u a coffee”

“what really”

“for sure, we can catch up on the lecture in the library tonight”

and you remember that you’d made plans with your roommate my/n to go to the library that night anyway so you agree and let him know

so he’s like “oh rlly? can i bring my roomie along too he probs doesn’t have other plans anyway i hear they’re doing some kind of project so he better not be going anywhere” with a lil frown uwu angery mark

“sure don’t see why not. we’ll all study together”

“nice i’ll let him know”

“cool”

cool

u see where i’m going with this

waggles eyebrows

wink wink nudge nudge

click here to continue your friendship with paediatrics!haechan!

I ⇤ | II | ⇥ III

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tfw-no-tennis · 4 years ago

Text

hxh RESUME

back at it again w/the hxh, heres my recap of the last few eps

ok so i totally forgot to recap that one ep at the end of the hunter exam arc lets see what i remember from like 3 wks ago lollll

i thiiiiink i left off in the middle of ep 21 lol. i really dont remember much tbh so im gonna skim the ep to refresh

exposition time! its so wild that if you lose ur hunter card That It like u cant get another or retake the exam hgabjdfuhasjf Ls

also the fact that you can sell it is rlly interesting

leorio & kurapika backing up gon as he confronts illumi again :’) good lil family

illumi u fool. gon is a shounen protag. he can do anything he sets his mind to

the fact that gon thanks illumi for telling him where killua is....hes literally THAT polite like...what a perfect boy

hisoka just fuckgin stepping out of the shadows....ok bitch

the fact that gon fucked up illumis arm that bad with one hand....boi is STRONK

AUGH AUGH AUGHHHH HISOKA IS SO CREEPY AUGHHH I HATE THIS BIIIITCH

ok but like is illumi implying that hisoka is a fr p*do bc uhhhhh thats so nasty oh lord. pls stay away from gon, and killua, and like everyone as a matter of fact

EWWWWWWWWWW I HATE HISOKA HES SO NASTY. PLS STOP MAKING P*RNO FACES IN RELATION TO 12 YR OLD BOYS.

no but rlly what IS hisoka gonna do now. im assuming he’ll show up p soon (tho probs not in the zoldyc arc like i thought bc its shorter than i thought)

ok the fact that they have the internet is hilariously wild to me for some reason....it just seems like this would be one of those fantasy shounen worlds with very little tech (a la one piece) but lol nope we can just google shit hvbhjdhjdfks

gon: it was fun when you beat me up for 3 hours and broke my arm! seeya dude!

i love gon he is so chill and doesnt seem to hold grudges except when it really matters (like hisoka and illumi)

hanzo has.....ninja business cards....thats amazing hvbhsdjkujfnd

dont worry pokkle, leorio was basically carried thru the hunter exam by various people and also won by default. he still deserves his license tho

an exotic game hunter sounds pretty cool! i wonder if we’ll see pokkle again. kinda doubt it? that sounds pretty firmly non-combat based, and therefore probably pretty far from any plot lol

so gons dad is a bigshot huh.....whatever hed be a bigger deal if he didnt abandon his son tbh

gon swinging his feet on the bench....sooo cute

so ging could restore a bunch of ruins but he couldnt raise his son...ok

im just gonna be bitter at this guy for abandoning the most perfect boy vhbhjfbsjhdhbfsk sorry dude but being a good hunter doesnt make up for being a shit father

gon is so precious ;_;

WHAT WAS SATOTZ GONNA SAY TO GON???

why does it look like theyre googling things on MS paint

ah yes, padokea, on the continent of Africa But Sideways

idk if i talked abt it before but the world map is WILD lmao i love how its all the continents/landmasses scrambled around.....im super curious abt that weird island in the top center of the map, thats the only thing that immediately sticks out as not having a real life equivalent

the music in this show is so charming :’) i love the main theme sm

gon is sooo precious i literally cant get over it. and his hurry to rescue killua is so sweet....and i love how naturally charming/charismatic gon is....pretty much everyone he meets likes him, especially leorio and kurapika, who basically adopted him after knowing him for like a day, and continue to be completely taken by him

ok wtf is satotz & co talking abt......do they know something abt ging that they arent allowed to tell gon???? shouldnt gon have access to the same info now that hes a hunter? i need ANSWERS

i bet this whole thing abt the hunter exam not rlly being over is a metaphor abt the hunter exam NEVER truly ending bc youre always being tested, or st

ok the ED continues to be So Much like especially the last shot where the 4 main characters look like theyre posing for a JC Penny catalog while the singer goes FULL metal-screamo

ok ruth and i just rewatched the next two eps woohoo

i love that there are tourist busses that take people to the front gates so they can like pose for pics and stuff vhbhjafdsfkj and its like ‘ah yes here are where the local assassins live!’ thats so funny yet it makes so much sense

i love that leorio passed tf out during the bus ride. big big mood

gon is so cute...hes like ok yes i understand that we’re not supposed to go in but i think they can make an exception for me bc im very polite.

those 2 dudes r so ugly and so dead god bless

that bigass buster sword....sir please

ruth and i rlly thot that the old guard guy was gonna turn out to be grandpa zoldyk or st lol

the fact that the dog managed to eat All their flesh but left some clothes....skill

also the dog is named mike but it sounds like the guy is calling him miku hvbjdfssk

this cant be the first time some morons have been killed here likeeee

i cant believe nobody has visited the zoldyk estate in 20 years damn they all rlly b havin no friends. depressing

the whole gates thing is wild. also that part where gon gets the math wrong on the weight.....BIG mood kiddo

ok the part where gons on the phone w/the butler is soooo good oh man. i love how gon just calmly dials the phone again after hes hung up on the first time and then YELLS....and leorio and kurapikas faces r so good

also the butler guy unfortunately has a point, it isnt foolproof that gon is here Legit....but he IS let him see his tiny bf :(

as ruth pointed out, the butler guy is reminiscent of kuro from one piece. same vibes

maybe if leorio was jacked like he is in the manga/1999 anime he couldve opened the gate that first time around....Ls

god i love this shows approach to Everything so far,....as ruth put it, half the time its like ‘oh wow they should do [x]/i wish theyd do [x] but ofc they wont cause its a shounen’ but then they DO do [x] and its like damn thats dope

anyways i love how gon is increasingly approaching situations with his Plucky Shounen Protag Attitude in full swing, and he pretty much gets shot down every time. BUT his general determination to see killua bc killuas his FRIEND and hes gonna RESCUE HIM is still a good and pure motivating force

like here, when hes climbing over the wall and hes like whatever i dont wanna have to deal w/being tested thats bullshit, i wanna see killua, my intentions are pure, im gonna try my luck with the dog....i was like ok yeah he’ll get over and like tame or defeat the dog and the guard will be suitably impressed bc nobodys ever done That before, and then gon will continue on to get killua

but NOPE instead the guard calls him down and explains that gon Will Die if he tries that, and then the guard will die too for letting that happen. and gon is like oh shit my actions have consequences for people other than me, wow.

and THEN the guard takes them in to meet the dog. and hot DAMN that is a scary creature. not even really a dog tbh. they did an excellent job making the dog Legit Scary and not just like, big and flashy looking....those eyes are so soulless, and the proportions are freaky

and the guard says exactly what i was thinking - that gon would use his Country Boy Woodland Creature Skills to workaround the dog....but then the subversion - this creature is NOTHING like the woodland critters gon is probably used to dealing with. theres no way gon stood a chance here. the guard just saved him from a really unfortunate death

i love all the Super Heavy Stuff in the servant house that seems so inconvenient vbhjdkfasjfld. also forgot to mention earlier but the guard guy being Absolutely Ripped was wild and kinda funny

training montage! gon continues to be so cute. and i love so much how leorio and kurapika are like no, you rest, we’ll take care of this. good parents!!!!

and then!!!! they sync up and use the power of gay love to almost open the gate. but then gon uses the power of Improbable Shounen Protag Healing Speed to toss that arm sling off and help out

i feel like leorio was side-eyeing gon like w8 a sec u broke that arm like a few days ago that aint right.....

oh man i almost forgot abt that scene with the zoldyks torturing killua :( :( this poor kid he doesnt deserve that

also mom zoldyck seems truly awful but i must say her aesthetic does fuck. the victorian-lookin outfit paired with the futuristic cyclops visor thing....excellent. also im betting this face bandages are from killua cutting her face

this family is so fucked up hvbsjdhjfbakdfn

killua telling his mom that gon is definitely gonna make it there :’) hes got such unshakable faith in his bf thats so good.....

back w/the gang, and immediately they run into more trouble in the form of the young girl butler, whose name i dont know, but i love her....her design is SO good oh man. a non-caricature black person? who also isnt sexualized? in MY anime??????

i love how gons approach to conflict is currently ‘let more powerful person beat me up for hours straight in hopes that they get tired or something idk bro’ like....i love him lol, is it in an effort to show how determined he is? he doesnt even try to dodge her blows or get around her....id be tryin to hop that fence lol

oh shit the tiny zoldyk kid from earlier is spying on them....she was w/the mom so im sure thats not good

when he punches the rock part and it breaks....strong boiiii

oh man that little flashback from when killua first came back and told her that he made a friend ;_; bruh

i love butler girl :( she wants to let gon but knows it isnt allowed....and as soon as she starts to waver BAM here comes mom zoldyck JFC that was so sudden and jarring....im assuming butler girl isnt dead cause that would be lame and anticlimactic

also IS THAT NEN??? NEN>>>??? NEN??? HM? NEN?????????

im so annoying abt nen i need to make one of those ‘is this a pigeon?’ memes w/’is this nen?’ bc thats me anytime anything remotely weird happens lmao

i do think its rlly nen this time tho

anyways shit is wild, cant wait to meet the full zoldyck family

PREDICTION CORNER:

as i said above i doubt hisoka will show up now bc this arc is a lot shorter than i anticipated. also im doubting that illumis even gonna show up honestly

i think we’re gonna have this OP for a while, as the part just at the end shows gon and hisoka fighting in what looks to be an arena, and ik the next arc is the heavens arena arc, which im assuming is the tournament arc....

also i have no idea what that weird building in the OP is but my guess is that its the building w/the heavens arena in it bc its tall and,,,,heaven

i predict there wont be much fighting in this little arc bc how tf else is it so short. at this point i rlly think gon is just gonna grab killua and go lmao. im super curious abt how thats gonna go down, considering that killua is currently strung up just bc he wont apologize...so i cant imagine his family would just let him leave w/gon. i wonder if killua will fight them, or if gons determination will impress them and then theyll let killua go (doubt it)

thats basically it....we’ll see abt the next few eps holla

#lj watches hxh #hxh #woohoo continuation

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write-havoc · 5 years ago

Text

Of Sons and Daughters Ch 12

Summary: Arthur is tasked by Dutch to watch over a young woman who had just lost the last member of her family she had left. That young woman just so happens to be the daughter that Dutch told no one else about.

This is a non canon AU with no major spoilers

Fandom: Red Dead Redemption 2

Pairing: Arthur Morgan/Original Female Character

Status: Ongoing

Contains: swearing, PG 13 smut

Intended for readers 18+ of age only

Masterlist in my bio

After Arthur dresses, he heads out the back door of the manor house to meet Dutch and John in one of the outbuildings. The muggy swamp air hangs thick around him, but it doesn’t hinder him from trudging through the soft earth toward the dilapidated former slave quarters. The distinct sound of someone being beaten allows him to pinpoint exactly which building they have the O’Driscoll held captive, so he heads that way.

“Arthur!” Sadie’s raspy voice calls out as she rushes up to him from behind. “Hang on!”

He pauses, but continues on his way without looking at her. “Now, Sadie, why don’t you head on back inside-“

“No,” she insists as she catches up to walk beside him. “There’s no way I’m not getting my hands on that O’Driscoll. I promised I’d make every single one of them pay for what they did to me and my Jake and I aim to keep that promise.”

Arthur stops begrudgingly and turns to her with a sigh, knowing she won’t drop the issue. “We need to get some information from him first, okay? I promise it ain’t gonna be good for him; he’s gonna suffer. But we need to get out of him where Colm is before we let ‘im die. If I let you in there, can you promise me you won’t go blowing his head off before we get what we want?”

She looks him dead in the eye as she answers. “Yeah. I promise I’ll let you torture Colm’s location out of him before I kill him.”

Arthur’s not convinced. Especially with the way she looked during the battle against the O’Driscolls that ended not even an hour ago. The sight of her firing off rounds into the enemy and screaming the whole while like a banshee made her look like a woman possessed. And that rage doesn’t just go away.

“Leave your guns out here,” he finally says, pointing to the ground.

She lets out a huff, knowing that he has a point. With the blind rage she feels every time she even hears the name O’Driscoll, she can’t trust herself not to kill the man the second she sees him.

“Fine.” She drops her pistols on the ground and follows Arthur the rest of the way to the broken down shack at the edge of the property.

Once the pair enters the building, they see the young O’Driscoll, his arms and legs both strapped down to a chair. Considering the two black eyes and fat lip he’s sporting, Dutch and John must have already worked him over.

“Arthur,” Dutch greets him as if he’s walked into a party. “And Mrs. Adler,” he adds, though his voice drops slightly.

The woman in question stares daggers at the O’Driscoll before her, but she restrains herself from pouncing on him. Rather, she moves back to lean against the wall as she crosses her arms over her chest in a wordless gesture saying that she’ll be hands off on this. At least right now.

Dutch takes notice then continues. “John and I were just asking our new friend here about his boss, but he’s been less than forthcoming. Perhaps you could try your hand, Arthur. You always were very persuasive .”

Arthur knows what that means; he’s to beat the information out of him. To make sure the O’Driscoll is good and intimidated, Arthur makes a show of rolling up his sleeves slowly and taking his hat off before leaning down to the young man’s face.

“Where’s Colm?” he growls, hoping the man will make this easy by cracking immediately. But of course, he doesn’t.

“Fuck you,” the O’Driscoll spits out in his Irish accent, though it’s muffled from the blood pooling in his mouth from the blows he’s already suffered.

Arthur’s only response is a swift punch to the guy’s gut, knocking the wind from him. As he coughs and sputters to try to get the air that had been punched out of him back into his lungs, Dutch lights up a cigar and casually saunters closer.

“It’s only going to get harder, O’Driscoll,” Dutch calls out in a sing song way. “Best bet is to talk now.”

The man flicks his gaze around all the faces in the room, to the younger dark haired man with the scars to his right, then to the two men standing in front of him and finally to the woman leaning on the back wall with murder in her eyes. “Colm told me about all ‘a yous.” He fixes his gaze on the oldest man that he’s recognized as Dutch. “You especially. You can’t just murder a man’s kin, his brother , and expect not to pay.”

“I did pay!” Dutch yells as he trades position with Arthur to stand directly in front of their captive. “Colm murdered someone dear to me and I loved her more than Colm ever cared about his good for nothing brother, I assure you of that. He still owes me .” To punctuate the point, Dutch stubs out his lit cigar on the back of the man’s hand, eliciting a growl of pain from him.

Arthur moves to the man’s side and grabs him by the hair, wrenching his head up to look at him. “Where’s Colm?” he growls as he rears back like he’s going to punch him again.

“Y-You can’t do nothin’ about it,” the O’Driscoll answers in a moment of weakness, his resolve to remain loyal to his leader momentarily waning with the prospect of another blow.

“Do about what?” John asks as he steps closer.

The young man steels himself, mustering the courage to hold out. “Don’t matter. You ain’t gettin’ nothin’ more from me!”

Before anyone else can react, Sadie flies out of nowhere brandishing her hunting knife with both her hands. She swings the blade above her head and down, burying it deeply in the man’s left thigh.

“Where’s Colm?!” she screams. “Answer us!”

The O’Driscoll squeals in pain at the sudden shock of being stabbed. “You crazy bitch!”

Arthur pulls Sadie back by the shoulder before she can do any more damage, cursing himself for not noticing that she had kept her knife on her. He decides to make the best out of the situation and wraps his hand around the blade still stuck in the O’Driscoll’s leg. He wiggles it a little to produce more pain, hoping that he will finally break. “Last chance, O’Driscoll. Answer or I’ll pull this knife out and watch you bleed to death. Slowly. And painfully.”

He looks up to Arthur, barely able to catch his breath out of pain and fear. His resolve crumbles quickly at the prospect that the man in front of him is telling the truth. For as much as Colm O’Driscoll has spouted that the gang always comes first, the decision to actually try to save his own life comes easy for the young man staring death in the face.

“Saint Denis,” he finally whispers. “Colm’s in Saint Denis. Pinkertons picked him up right after you didn’t show up to the meet. Said he weren’t no use to them no more.”

Dutch steps forward. It’s certainly good to have that information, but something else has been bothering him. “How did you know we were here at Shady Belle?” Depending on the answer, they may have to move camp yet again.

“W-We saw two of your men in a wagon in Valentine,” he starts to explain. “Followed ‘em here.”

Arthur figures that’s possible. When it became clear that Emmeline had permanently relocated from her home, he had sent out Sean and Lenny to pick up Emmeline’s chickens and coop to bring back to Shady Belle. Neither of the two young men have a whole lot of experience and may not have realized they were being followed all the way back to camp.

“Did you tell the Pinkertons?” Arthur asks instantly. That’s the real question. If they know where they are, they could already be on their way here.

“We’re on the run from them now just like you are!” the O’Driscoll bites back. “We ain’t talked to those lyin’ bastards since they took Colm!”

It seems to everyone that the man is probably telling the truth, so their camp is safe for now. But there’s still the issue of Colm.

“Where exactly in Saint Denis are they keeping him?” Dutch asks.

“How the hell should I know!” When Arthur winds up to punch him, the O’Driscoll backs off. “No, no, no! Wait!” he calls out anxiously. “Theys gonna hang him today. I swear! That’s why we went after yous.” His eyes flit around the room, knowing that he’s said too much. “S-So you’ll get your revenge anyway. Even if you do nothin’,” he tries, hoping they don’t put it together.

Dutch shares a look with Arthur, the two of them instantly picking up the real reason behind the O’Driscolls’ quick attack.

“As much as I hate that man,” Dutch starts, “I have to admit that Colm’s smart enough that he’s managed to slip the noose many times before. I also know that he’s smart enough to realize that if he’s going to be strung up anywhere near where I am, I’d make sure he gets properly hung. So this little skirmish we just engaged in tells me for certain that Colm has a plan in place to escape his execution today. And that he doesn’t want me to ruin it. So thank you for confirming that.” Dutch gives Arthur a nod, wordlessly conveying his orders to the younger man.

Without a second’s notice, Arthur pulls the large knife from the O’Driscoll’s leg, making sure to twist it on the way out. As the man screams in pain, Arthur hands the blade back to Sadie and gestures back to the man, making it clear that she’s to dispatch of him.

“Hey, wait!” the man yells. “I told ya what ya wanted!”

His plea doesn’t stop Sadie as she walks forward to him. “You O’Driscolls ruined my life!” She suddenly stabs him in the gut with a punch. “Killed my husband!” She stabs him again. “Forced yourselves on me!” Her hand starts to slip on the hilt as it’s covered with blood, but she continues. “ You ruined my life! ” Using all the power she can muster, she forces the blade up and under his rib cage, puncturing his heart and killing him instantly. His head lolls to the side as the life leaves his body.

Despite the fact that he’s long gone, Sadie keeps stabbing him repeatedly anywhere she can. Once his torso starts to lose it’s shape from the repeated wounds, Arthur gently puts his hand on her shoulder, drawing her out of her rage.

“He’s dead, Sadie,” he says softly. “That’s enough.”

Breathing roughly, she pulls back from the man slumped in the chair and looks down at her bloodstained hands. She wonders just what kind of person she’s become through all of this. Is she even recognizable as herself anymore?

John jumps in, unaware of the battle raging in Sadie’s mind. “You really think after how many O’Driscolls we just killed today that they can still rescue Colm from Saint Denis?”

“I reckon there’s more than enough of those bastards left to save Colm from the gallows,” Dutch answers. “We need to make sure they don’t succeed.”

“We better get goin’ then,” Arthur comments. “If we wanna get there in time to stop them.”

Dutch nods in agreement. “John, you take care of him,” he gestures to the dead man in the chair then looks up to Sadie and Arthur. “We need to see Hosea about a change of clothing.”

Arthur recognizes the look in Dutch’s eye; he already has a plan cooked up in his head. Once they find Hosea and tell him everything as quickly as possible, the older man is immediately on board.

“I have a couple of Saint Denis police uniforms that should fit you fellas. They’ll get you close without raising suspicion,” he explains as he pulls the outfits from a trunk in the back of one of the wagons. “As for you, Mrs. Adler,” he roots around more, finding a fancy yellow dress with a frilly lace front, “I think a high society lady traversing the streets of the city will go unnoticed by anyone looking for outlaws.”

She takes the frock into her freshly cleaned hands, then the large feathered hat he produces as well. “Ain’t exactly worn nothin’ like this. And I sure as hell ain’t a high society lady.”

“Well, you are today, my dear,” Dutch comments.

After they change into their costumes, they all mount up and leave. During the ride, they strategize what they’re going to do. If they’ve made it in time and Colm’s not long gone yet, they’ll patrol the crowd to see if any of Colm’s men are around fixing to make a daring rescue of their leader. If they are in the crowd, they’ll make damn sure to keep them occupied so that Colm gets seen through on his execution.

As they finally approach Guiteau Square, the high noon sun beats down on them. That doesn’t deter the rapidly gathering crowd from congregating in front of the gallows hoping to get a good view of the show about to come. They all look on expectantly as the hangman trudges up the steps to check the noose already hanging on the crossbar on preparation.

“Good,” Dutch says quietly to his companions. “We didn’t miss it.” When he looks over all the people standing in the square, he thinks he recognizes a few of them. He leans in closer to Arthur to whisper, “Those two idiots look familiar?” He gestures to two men talking with another man in the crowd.

“Yeah,” Arthur answers. “They definitely run with Colm.”

“Guess it’s a good idea we decided to show up, then,” Dutch comments with a smirk.

As they watch the O’Driscolls, they notice them periodically turn and look across the street.

“What are they looking at?” Dutch asks almost to himself as he turns to see.

“One of ‘em’s comin’ this way,” Arthur warns and the three Van Der Lindes look away as to not raise suspicion. They discreetly watch the man cross the street and head away from them in the direction they had been looking.

“Better see where he’s going,” Dutch says to Arthur. “Me and Mrs. Adler will keep our eyes on those two.” He gestures to the two O’Driscolls still standing in the crowd.

Arthur nods and starts to follow the man away from the square. Keeping a safe distance, he meanders the alleyways behind the man until he sees him ascend a latter onto a fire escape. He continues on, hopping up onto a nearby rooftop and crossing over to another building, the building that happens to be directly across the street from where Colm will be hanged.

Luckily for Arthur, the O’Driscoll isn’t the most observant, so instead of checking his surroundings first, he goes straight to the sniper rifle that must have been stashed there earlier. He takes up his position to get a good look at Guiteau Square. And most likely the noose he’s set to shoot down to save Colm from hanging.

As quietly as he can, Arthur pulls his knife from its sheath and sneaks up behind the distracted O’Driscoll. It takes just a moment for Arthur to bury his knife in the back of the man’s neck, severing his spinal cord and killing him almost instantly.

Movement on the raised platform of the gallows below catches Arthur’s eye after he unceremoniously drops the dead man’s body to the ground. He picks up the O’Driscoll’s discarded sniper rifle and raises the scope to his eye to get a better look. Colm had been brought out while Arthur was killing the sniper and the noose now rests around his neck. The bright sunlight of this cloudless day makes it easy for Arthur to see the smug smile on Colm’s face through the scope. It’s the smile of a man expecting to walk away from this unscathed, confident that the plan he has in place will go off without a hitch. Arthur sees that expression fall slightly as the man casts his eyes down to the crowd. Arthur follows his gaze to see that Sadie and Dutch are now holding onto the two O’Driscolls in the crowd, guns to their heads to keep them from doing anything stupid. Once Colm raises is gaze to see Arthur in the sniper’s nest, pure fear washes over his face as the realization hits that his plan has been thwarted. This will be his last day on earth and there’s nothing he can do about it now.

Arthur sends an obnoxious wave over to him to hit the point home. “You’re gon’ hang, Colm,” he says under his breath. “Once and for all.”

The hangman wastes no time in shouting out Colm’s charges, but Arthur can barely hear them over the distance. He’s focused on looking through the scope right at Colm’s face, anyway, not wanting to miss a single second of the man’s fear as his execution approaches. Just a moment later, the hangman pulls the lever and Colm finally falls through the drop door to his long overdo death.

Arthur’s seen men die before, many times. He’s even witnessed hangings and it’s never much affected him. This one does, though, not for what it is but what it will mean from now on. The air leaves Arthur’s lungs as if a weight has been lifted from him. Dutch’s rivalry with Colm that’s lasted for almost as many years as Arthur’s been in the gang is now over. He only gets a second to really feel the weight of that before a shot rings out (as well as a scream that sounds suspiciously like Sadie’s angry voice) and then everyone in the square is scattering.

“Arthur! O’Driscolls!” Dutch’s loud voice reaches Arthur’s ears and he jumps into action.

There aren’t many O’Driscolls left, but there are enough rushing into the square to keep Dutch and Sadie pinned down in their positions ducked down behind the low wall surrounding the square. Arthur quickly pinpoints the men battling to avenge their fallen leader and dispatches them with utmost efficiency. Soon enough, the din of the gunshots is punctuated by a cacophony of police whistles as the local law enforcement descends on the scene, adding to the anarchy. Fortunately, Dutch’s cop costume keeps the heat from the actual cops away from him and Sadie as they try to take out the last of the O’Driscolls.

Their anonymity doesn’t last forever, though. One observant officer ends up rushing to take cover right beside Dutch. As soon as he gets a good look at Dutch’s face, his eyes widen in recognition. Dutch sees the look of familiarity sweep through the man’s eyes and knows the tide will surely turn if this young man is allowed to call attention to the outlaw in his midst. Without an extra second’s thought, Dutch silences the cop with a well placed bullet through the top of his head before he can alert anyone.

“We need to get outta here!” Dutch shouts to Sadie.

Arthur can see the moment things start to change. With the law finally outnumbering the O’Driscolls, they start to look around for the cause of the battle. More and more of their eyes are focusing on Dutch and Sadie, which is decidedly a bad thing. It’s one thing to fight O’Driscolls in the streets, but having the entire police force of Saint Denis coming for you is quite another.

The two Van Der Lindes on the ground have no choice but to rush away from the police and toward one of the alleys that the leftover O’Driscolls are holed up in. It would certainly be a death trap on any other occasion, but Dutch knows that Arthur has line of sight on this particular alley. As if on cue, every O’Driscoll that peeks his head out to get a shot on Dutch and Sadie ends up with a fresh bullet hole between the eyes, courtesy of the sniper rifle they so generously provided in the fight in the first place.

Dutch gives a little wave, signaling to Arthur that all the O’Driscolls in the immediate area are gone. When Dutch and Sadie start to strip off their costumes in favor of putting on their normal outfits, Arthur follows suit, pulling his extra clothes from his satchel. Abandoning the uniform and the rifle on the roof, Arthur makes his way down to street level and across the few blocks to where their horses are hitched.

“Come on, Arthur. Hurry up,” Dutch spurs the younger man to move faster down the street as he hops up into his saddle. “We need to get outta here before the police really catch onto us.”

As Arthur mounts Sparrow and turns to follow Dutch, he looks to his right to Sadie. “You alright?”

She tears her eyes away from the road ahead to look his way. “We got ‘em, Arthur,” she chokes out, though no tears come to her eyes; they never do anymore. “Who we didn’t kill, the law finished off. There ain’t no more O’Driscolls thanks to us, so I feel...” She thinks a moment. Happy’s not the word; the grief of losing her husband is still too great to allow for that. “I feel... relieved,” she settles on. “Those monsters won’t ever hurt anyone else. And I’m more than okay with that.”

Meanwhile back at camp, from the moment the trio leaves Shady Belle, everyone else in the gang has been a little on edge. Not only are they wondering if the small group would be successful in making sure Colm finally gets his due, but they have the mess around the property to deal with, too. It’s all hands on deck to try to dispose of the dead O’Driscolls lying around. Fortunately, the swamp around them (and the alligators in it) provides the perfect place to do just that, but all those bodies still need to make their way there.

The thought of having to touch dead corpses horrifies Emmeline, but she doesn’t want to let anyone down. She is a part of this group, so she’s determined to pitch in as much as she can.

“You can do this,” she whispers to herself before she pushes through the front door of the main house and walks out onto the porch. A wave of nausea passes over her as she steps closer to one of the bodies off by the gazebo, knowing what she has to do. “He was a bad man,” she mutters to reassure herself as she rolls the sleeves of her blouse to her elbows. Tossing a glance back to the wagon being laden with dead bodies, she bends down and wraps her fingers around the dead O’Driscoll’s ankles, fixing to drag him in that direction. After only a few feet, she’s interrupted by Hosea’s voice.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa there,” he calls out as he rushes toward her. “You should be inside, Emmeline.”

She gently drops the O’Driscoll’s feet, as if she could still hurt him if she was too rough. “It’s okay. I want to help out.”

He doesn’t take that for an answer. Instead, he wraps his arm around her shoulders and turns her back toward the house. “I’m sure Jack would be pleased with your company upstairs. Besides, it’s too hot out here. You shouldn’t overexert yourself in your condition.”

“C-Condition?” she asks, playing dumb in case he doesn’t actually know her secret and means something else.

He chuckles, leading her back up the porch steps and through the door. “Yes. Your condition .” He stops them in the sitting room, knowing that everyone else is too busy to hear their conversation. “I admit that I should have seen it sooner. Age really is creeping up on me. Dulling the senses.” He holds his hand out, gesturing for her to sit onto the couch. He follows after, planting himself down with a groan and creaking joints.

“What do you mean?”

“I’ve lived my whole life as a conman, dear girl. I’ve learned to read people, pick up on little cues, little traits that tell me everything I need to know about them. I wasn’t too sure about your... situation at first. Not until I saw the way John’s been looking at you like he’s terrified. The same way he looked at Abigail when she was with child, though not quite as bad. I reckon ‘cause he knows he’s not the father in this case.” He shakes his head. “That boy still ain’t comfortable with children, despite having one of his own.”

“Abigail figured it out pretty quick,” Emmeline explains. “And she told John the second she was sure. He hasn’t really said much to me about it since then.”

Hosea nods. “Abigail’s smarter than people give her credit for. And John,” he laughs, “finesse ain’t exactly his strong suit. We’ve had to fight our way out of more situations than I care to think about because he blew our cover.”

“Really?” she says with a giggle. “I guess Arthur and I will have to start telling people soon, anyway. People are bound to notice when I start showing through my dress.”

“You and Arthur have time yet, I’m betting.” He pats her on the knee gently. “I’m so happy for Arthur to become a father. I know he always wanted to have children.”

“He did?” she asks, confused. Arthur hadn’t really told her that in so many words.

He nods. “He may not admit it, maybe not even to himself, but I know deep down he’s wanted a family. All you have to do is look at how he treats Jack. He’s been more of a father to that boy than Marston‘s been, really. Did everything for him in the beginning. If Abigail hadn’t’ve loved John so much, I reckon Arthur woulda married her just to give the boy a proper family when John left.”

“Arthur wants to leave,” she admits quietly. “Leave the gang with me and the Marstons. So we can raise the children away from this.”

He lets out a heavy breath. “He’s smart to want that. We all know this isn’t gonna end well, deep down. We just try to prolong it, day by day, however we can.” He grasps her hand in his and gives her a poignant look. “You tell him it’s alright to leave all this, Emmeline. Even if he’s said he wants to leave, he’ll wrestle with getting away from this life, leaving us. You tell him he can go. He doesn’t owe us nothing more.”

The vehemence with which he says it has Emmeline nodding automatically. She had a feeling that Arthur would have a hard time with following through on leaving. Especially given how much he sees the gang as his family.

It takes a while, but the property finally gets completely cleaned up. It isn’t much longer after that when Dutch, Arthur, and Sadie get back to the camp. Once everyone sees the three riders galloping down the trail toward the house, they hold their breath in anticipation. The second Dutch hitches The Count and looks up with a bright smiling face and outstretched arms, everyone breaks out in cheers knowing that the trio was successful in their mission. The Van Der Linde’s oldest rival has been taken down. And now it’s time to celebrate.

Liquor flows. Songs are sung. Stories are told. The mood around camp is light and jovial as everyone enjoys the party, some around the fire, some at Pearson’s tent, and some dancing in the middle to the music from Dutch’s phonograph.

From her seat on the log by the fire, Emmeline watches Karen and Sean swaying to and fro together arrhythmically to the music, both of them already three sheets to the wind. It doesn’t stop them from looking like they’re anything but happy together, though.

“You doin’ alright?” Arthur’s voice draws her attention away from the couple.

She turns back to him beside her and gives him a smile. “Yeah. I’m fine, Arthur.”

“What you went through today...” he lets out a heavy breath, thinking about how she was held at gunpoint earlier, “I don’t want you to ever go through that again. Don’t ever want you in danger.”

“I don’t want either of us in danger.” Remembering the conversation she had earlier with Hosea, she scoots closer to Arthur to speak with him more quietly. “I know it’s gonna be hard,” she whispers and takes her hand in his, “but I think we should-“ She’s interrupted by Dutch coming up from behind and clapping Arthur on the shoulder.

“What’s with the long face, Arthur?” he asks with a huge smile as he walks around to stand before them. “We’re celebrating, in case you haven’t noticed.”

Arthur looks up to him. “I know, Dutch. I’ve been waitin’ to see Colm hang for a long time.” He shakes his head a little and scratches at the back of his neck not wanting to tell Dutch about the way his insides twist thinking about how Emmeline and their baby had been in danger today. “Guess I’m just tired. Long day.”

“That it’s been.” Dutch plants himself down next to Emmeline, unaware he’s interrupted the conversation she wanted to have with Arthur. “Things are gonna change for us,” he says wistfully as he looks to the darkening evening sky. “I can feel it. Our luck is gonna change.”

“I sure hope so,” Arthur quips.

“Come on, Arthur,” Dutch replies, though his happy tone doesn’t fall much. He bumps Emmeline with his shoulder. “If you keep spending time with him, you’ll end up just as morose as he is.”

She laughs at his joke. “He’s not morose most of the time. He actually makes me laugh.”

Dutch looks overly shocked. “Arthur? Funny? Pfft!”

It makes Emmeline laugh more. It’s nice to see this side of Dutch. Since she’s met him, she actually hasn’t spent much time with him. And with Micah, the Pinkertons, and the move, Dutch hadn’t exactly been up to socializing lately. But now, it seems like he’s back to the man that Arthur had described to her. She thinks it would be nice to actually get to know the man that’s her only living kin.

Having heard the exchange as he grabbed a beer from the box by Pearson’s wagon, Hosea walks up to take a seat across from the small group. “Arthur’s a regular comedian, don’t you know?” he jokes.

“Yeah, yeah. Alright,” Arthur grumbles. “Don’t need you comin’ in here and teasin’ me, too.”

Hosea chuckles a bit. “No need to be so serious, Arthur. This is a party, after all.”

“That’s what I was saying.” Dutch rises from his seat and turns back to hold his hand out to Emmeline. “Since your fella is too busy brooding, would you care to dance with me?”

“I ain’t brooding ,” Arthur responds, a smile finally tugging his lips upward once he sees Emmeline trying to hold back a giggle. “Go on then.” He shoos her off with a gesture of his hand.

Emmeline takes Dutch’s hand and allows him to lead her to the open area that had occupied Karen and Sean just a moment ago, the couple having vacated, most likely to their tent. Dutch keeps ahold of her left hand in his right as he turns to face her.

“You know how to dance?” He places his left hand gently around her back while he raises his other arm with hers into position.

“Not really,” she admits, placing her free hand on his shoulder. “My father tried to teach me when I was little, but I think I ended up just jumping around.” She laughs at the memories.

As he starts to sway with her, he asks her quietly, “He was good to you?”

She realizes then what she had said. She had called Joseph, the man that raised her, her father. But the man standing before her technically holds that title. It doesn’t make the former feel any less like a parent to her, though. Despite the fact that he was never blood, he will always be her papa.

“He was a very good... father. I loved him.”

Dutch nods his head, then puts a smile on his face. “I’m glad. I could tell he was a good man.” He steps back and lifts her arm up, prompting her to twirl.

When she comes back to him, she lets out a little laugh. “I don’t think I got the hang of spinning when I was eight years old,” she says, trying to bring the conversation to lighter fare.

Dutch isn’t ready to end the conversation that he’s thought about having for years, though. “I did think of you often,” he asserts, his eyes soft as he looks to the young woman in front of him. “I always wanted the best for you. I tried to help out after Joseph died, left money for you and your mother.”

She looks away a moment as they continue to sway to the music. “I know. Arthur told me.”

“So many times I thought about knocking on your door. Introducing myself to you. Making up for lost time.”

“But you didn’t.”

He shakes his head. “No. It wasn’t because I didn’t care about you; I want to make that clear. I always cared about you, Emmeline. And that’s precisely why I never knocked on your door. Your mother was right. It would’ve been dangerous for you.”

“I understand, Dutch,” she reassures him. “I didn’t at first. I wasn’t too happy knowing I was lied to, but... I do understand why you and my parents did what you did. But I’m happy to get to know you now.” She gives him a smile, which he returns easily.

In the meantime, since Arthur is left by himself, he looks over to Hosea. “Sorry about havin’ to leave those costumes of yours back in Saint Denis.”

“Don’t worry about it. I’m just glad they did their job and you all made it back safe.”

Arthur nods. “Yeah. Ain’t no more O’Driscolls left after all that.”

“One less thing on our plates.”

“That’s what we need. Things to be more simple. Like they they were before the Pinkertons.” Arthur takes a cigarette out of his satchel and lights it, taking a drag and exhaling the smoke.

“Maybe we should just be tying up loose ends.”

Arthur looks over to the older man in confusion. “Whatchu mean?”

“We’re the last of a dying breed, my boy. And it’s only gonna end one of two ways, accept it and finally become a member of civilization or fight it and go out on the cooling board.” Hosea stands with a groan, his stiff joints protesting momentarily, and walks over to Arthur, placing his hand on his shoulder and leaning down to speak more quietly. “Don’t you make that girl a widow. And don’t you make that child fatherless.”

Arthur looks up to the older man, ready to ask how he knew. But he thinks better of it. Of course Hosea knew; he always does.

As Arthur follows Hosea’s exit, his eyes wander over to Molly as she stands on the front porch. She’s leaning on the railing with her arms crossed over her chest and staring daggers at Dutch and Emmeline as they continue to dance and laugh with one another.

“Shit,” Arthur mutters to himself. He knows exactly what’s going through the fiery redhead’s mind.

Molly has made her jealous streak well known. Just about every woman that Dutch has so much as talked to has gotten the third degree from her. And it’s all only gotten worse as Dutch closed himself off more. It seems that Molly has been coping with that by drinking more which has only made her more volatile.

Before Arthur can do anything about it, Molly stomps over to Emmeline and roughly pulls her back by the arm.

“Arthur ain’t enough for ya, huh, ya trollop,” Molly slurs out, her Irish accent sounding a little bit stronger than normal. She shoves her finger right into Emmeline’s face and yells, “Ya gotta go after Dutch Van Der Linde himself, too!”

Molly’s loud voice draws attention and everyone looks her way, interested at the turn of events. That intrigue only deepens once Arthur jumps up from his seat and rushes over.

“What the hell are you doin’, Molly?” he calls out and quickly puts himself between the woman and Emmeline to prevent a skirmish.

“Yes,” Dutch concurs as he puts his hands on his hips, “what are you doing?”

“Oh, don’t you act innocent, Dutch,” Molly seethes, refocusing her rage on him. “She bats her pretty eyes at you and you eat it up.”

“I wasn’t-“ Emmeline starts, but Molly isn’t hearing it.

“You shut up, you hussy! It’s obvious you’re throwing yourself at him!”

Emmeline has never been talked to like this in her whole life and it has her flustered. Flustered enough that she blurts out, “I don’t want Dutch! He’s my father !” loud enough that everyone hears.

Audible gasps ring out around the camp at the shock. No one had even an inkling that their newest member was related to Dutch and now it comes out that she’s his daughter .

Molly takes a step back and looks to Dutch as she tries to make sense of all of this. “Is that true?”

Dutch lets out a sigh and puts his hand on the shoulder of his formerly secret daughter. “Yes. Emmeline is my daughter,” he says loud enough for all the straining ears around them to hear. “I suppose it’s time to tell you all everything.” He takes his hand off of her and steps forward to address everyone. “Let me explain. I did send Arthur to check on Emmeline, but it wasn’t just because I knew her mother. I knew all along she was my daughter and wanted to make sure she was alright. She and Arthur did get sweet on each other, but the reason he brought her here was because the Pinkertons knew about her. And they wanted to use her to get to me. Why I decided to keep all this quiet was to protect her. But since we now know that Micah ,” he hisses the man’s name, “was the one working with the police and he’s no longer here, there’s no reason to keep it a secret anymore.”

Everyone processes the information at their own rate. Some people are stood there shocked while others nod softly their assent. John is firmly in the former category, his gaze flicking quickly between Dutch, Emmeline, and Arthur.

“Emmeline’s your daughter?” he asks aloud, though he’s not exactly looking for a response from the man. “And she and Arthur-“

He’s cut off by a swift elbow to the ribs courtesy of Abigail next to him. “Emmeline and Arthur are together and it don’t rightly matter that Dutch is her father,” she finishes the sentence for him to stop him from saying anything he shouldn’t. “I think it’s good fortune. She’s part of the family no matter what.”

Emmeline smiles to the other raven haired woman. “Thank you, Abigail. That means a lot.”

“Indeed,” Dutch’s booming voice brings attention back to him. “We are all a family here. Now, I know we’ve had some tough times, but they are behind us. Tonight, we celebrate our long overdue victory over the O’Driscolls and tomorrow...” he pauses to make sure all eyes are on him, “we make our plans to free ourselves from the bond of the slavery that this ‘ society ’ is forcing on us. Stick with me and I promise that you will be able to live free.”

His words sound good, especially to the mostly inebriated ears that hear them. But they make a weight settle in Arthur’s chest. Dutch seems to be back to his old self... but is that really a good thing?

#of sons and daughters #writehavoc Of Sons and Daughters #writehavoc writes #arthur morgan #arthur morgan x oc #arthur morgan / oc #arthur morgan x original female character #Arthur Morgan / Original Female Character #Red Dead Redemption #red dead redemption 2

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max-myself-and-i · 6 years ago

Text

I’m Coming: Part 4, Final Part (Clint x Reader, Soulmate AU)

Pairing: Clint Barton x Reader

Words: 1504

Content/Warnings: Soulmate AU, Angst, Fluff, etc.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

Summary: At some point, everyone starts projecting thoughts back and forth to their soulmate. The reader has been chatting with theirs since age sixteen, but Clint Barton does not want anyone using his soulmate against him so he has never told them his name, but that whole plan falls apart the day HYDRA figures out who they are.

“The conditioning is strong,” Bruce said. He, Bucky, and Clint were watching a monitor that showed the room you were in across the hall, unconscious and cuffed to an exam table. You woke a few hours ago but fought the restraints so hard they had to dose you again. Steve tested the cuffs himself first to be sure you couldn’t escape, but that didn’t mean you couldn’t cut yourself up trying.

“We all remember how long it took to get me out of it,” Bucky said “not to state the obvious, but a faster solution would be good.”

“You said your soulmate messed with your conditioning when she was still alive, right?” Clint asked. Bucky nodded. “Bruce, can you make that… nanobot whatever to turn the gene back? I might be able to deprogram them from the inside, for lack of better phrasing.”

“That could do some serious damage to you,” Bruce warned. “Barnes’ conditioning at least didn’t involve his soulmate at all. Y/n has been tortured into believing that all they want is to kill you. Are you sure that’s a mind you want to get into?”

Clint knew that nothing could be worse than the silence already in his head.

“I’m sure.”

---

It took Bruce two days of round-the-clock work before he had a version of the nanobot solution he was willing to test on you. Clint insisted on being present when he administered it, having refused to leave the monitor room across the hall since returning to the tower.

“One more time, are you sure? I don’t know what having their conditioning in your head will do to you.” Bruce gave him a hard look while he prepared the injection. You were still unconscious, but the most recent dose of tranquilizer would wear off within the hour.

“Just do it Banner.” Clint watched the needle go in, hating that he could still remember your projected screams when the HYDRA scientist had given you the original injection. He walked to the other side of the room to sit down in the corner. As hard as it was to move away from you he wanted to be as non-imposing as possible when you woke.

Bruce sighed as he left the room, passing Bucky in the doorway. “Barton.”

Clint looked up, surprised.

“I thought you might want some company. And maybe someone who can take them in a fight without shooting them, just in case.” The look he gave was apologetic, but Clint motioned for him to join him on the floor.

“I just don’t know what to do when they wake up. I’m their soulmate, not a shrink. I don’t think I’m really qualified for this.”

“Barton,” Bucky’s expression was almost stern “Y/n held up under torture for over two weeks. HYDRA broke them, sure, but I’m living proof that you can un-break a super soldier. They’re a fighter, so don’t you believe for a second that they aren’t still in there. They’ll be able to hear you soon, and I bet you a whole lot that the first thing you’ll get from them is your own name.”

Clint stared at him. That was the most he had ever heard Bucky say at once, and somehow, he felt better. Looking up, he saw you stir.

Y/n? No response, but you moved a little more, feeling the restraints.

Y/n? Pushing gently into your mind, he was met with a wall of cold. I know you can hear me now, I can feel it. The mental wall was raw intensity, but there was barely any emotion to it. You had to be feeling something, somewhere. Throwing caution to the winds, Clint took the years of experience he had in your mind and tore at the wall. You fought him, struggling mentally to hold up the block and against your physical bonds, but it gave out.

Behind it, Bucky was right. Clint Barton is my soulmate. My name is Y/n L/n, and Clint Barton is my soulmate. Clint Barton is my soulmate, my name is Y/n L/n. The mantra repeated over and over until he pushed in to the middle of it.

Y/n, it’s me, come back to me

Clint? Your eyes snapped open and met his. He saw recognition there and his heart beat faster. You remembered.

“Hey there,” Clint stood. He couldn’t hold back a smile despite the situation. Bucky was looking between the two of you, not understanding the breakthrough that Clint had made.

You came for me. I knew you would.

“I promised, didn’t I?” He was speaking out loud now, trying to ground you in reality.

I, I almost killed you, I’m so sorry. It’s exactly what they wanted and I, I couldn’t hear you—

Clint took a tentative step toward you

“Hey, hey, stop that,” he said. “This is pretty much the farthest thing from your fault.”

What did they do to me Clint? They gave me something else and when I woke up I was… so strong. And I can see and hear so well? I used to need glasses, Clint, and now I’m pretty sure I could tell the thread count of your shirt from here.

“We think it was super-soldier serum. That’s what the, uh, the extreme restraints are for.”

Super-soldier—like Captain America super-solder serum?

“Yup. The guy over there is Bucky Barnes, if you know the name. He offered to help. Thought he might understand where you’re at.” Bucky gave a small wave and a smile from his spot on the floor. Clint felt your anxiety and was about to ask Bucky to leave when he realized what you were thinking.

Hey! You think he’s pretty, don’t you? Clint reverted to private conversation.

Don’t you? You flashed a mental grin. The fucking Winter Soldier just waved at me, I’m having a very interesting day.

And The Fucking Hawkeye is your soulmate! Way to give a guy an inferiority complex, he projected in mock jealousy.

You laughed out loud at that. It was the most wonderful sound Clint had ever heard.

“I missed something, didn’t I,” Bucky said.

“Yes you did, thankfully,” Clint replied with a stern look at you. “Babe, how do you feel about getting out of those?” He nodded at the restraints.

Yes, please. You didn’t seem ready to speak out loud. I think I’m in control. Maybe pretty boy back there should stick around just in case though. You sent him another mental laugh at his disgruntled expression.

“Alright Barnes, I’m going to let them out.” Bucky stood, wanting to be ready for the worst.

“Are you sure that’s a good idea?” he asked. Clint nodded and walked the rest of the way to you. He hadn’t realized how much the restraints were bothering you until he offered to remove them. Your whole body was tense. When he grabbed your wrist to remove the first one he realized that this was the first time you had touched other than trading blows a few days prior. He moved to the next wrist, then both ankles and your midriff, not wanting to touch you too much while you felt trapped.

Standing on your own two feet for the first time in a couple days, you stumbled and put a hand on Clint’s shoulder to regain your balance. He was debating between getting a hold on you in case you fell and keeping still so you could control the pace of things when you wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him close.

Seeing over Clint’s shoulder, you saw Bucky duck out of the room with a nod to you.

“Please hold me, Clint,” your unused voice was a whisper, but clear in his ear. Grateful for the permission he slipped one hand around your waist and held your head to his shoulder with the other. You stood still for a moment, both soaking it in. He pressed a kiss to your temple, squeezing you tighter, and you felt a tear hit your neck.

Unable to hold back any longer, Clint Barton broke down, shaking and sobbing into your shoulder.

I’m so sorry, I tried to get there faster. I thought I’d lost you, that I got you killed, that—

It was your turn to ground him with your voice. “Hey, hey, breathe,” you whispered, running your fingers through his hair to calm him. “I’m right here, I’m safe, and nothing that happened out there was your fault.” He was no longer projecting coherent thoughts, finally letting out a month of stress and exhaustion.

His sharp sobs ebbed after a few minutes. You pulled him to the corner and sat, legs thrown over his, arms around each other, faces pressed into each other’s necks. His tears still trickled down your skin but you breathed together, calm.

It’s over. We’re safe, you promised.

I couldn’t ask for anything better than you.

There’s no one I would rather share this bond with.

I—I love you Y/n L/n

I love you too Clint Barton

And with that, you both drifted off to sleep.

Tags: @thoughtsofdarc @jaqui-has-a-conspiracy-theory@whatisanniedoin@wefracturedmotivation @im-a-slut-for-an-accent @dragonluver9393 @xanaphorax @sweetlydecaf @cutiepiemimi13 @agentsinstorybrooke @nyxveracity @bitchy-ginger-1

#clint x reader #clint barton x reader #I'm coming #max-myself-and-i #avengers fic #clint fluff #Hawkeye x reader #Hawkeye fluff #soulmate au #avengers soulmate au #marven x reader #avengers x reader #Hawkeye #clint barton

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akawhiskeyy-blog · 8 years ago

Text

in which i react to the chatzy because replies are hard:

Edward and Isabella try to solve their Jessica Jones dilemma

yah the dilemma being that she sEES THROUGH YO SHIT U 2

it goes on like this for a while.

“Honestly, Jessica Jones has been irritating me for weeks.”

you’ve talked to her twice. and texted once. AND U INITIATED 2/3 OUT OF THESE

There was nothing Edward hated more than getting struck in the face.

sucks to sucks snek. ALSO U R SO MELODRAMATIC SHE DIDNT EVEN HIT YOU HARD OMG SHE COULD LITERALLY CAVE IN YOUR SKULL IF SHE WANTED TO U GOT OFF LUCKY OKAY

“But soon you won’t have to. I can promise you that much.”

do u wanna die edward nygma. do u.

Jessica Jones had crossed a line.

gurl. jessica jones crosses lines like its her goddamn job

She had listened to her drunken ramblings, and offered her help, and politely asked her to stay out of their lives.

pulling out receipts: “Oh, I’m so glad I could help you. Do me a favor and please stop texting Edward“ -- such polite sarcasm. write the next miss manners ok. also, u sat down next to her and ur offer of help only came after you insulted her a lot.

This wasn’t his fault, after all.

kilgrave made him do it

she didn’t want the other woman dead.

“Well, that’s your choice. Drink yourself to death.” r u sure isabella u seem confused

If he proposed murder, she had another idea up her sleeve, but she wanted him to lead.

just casually accepting that her boyfriend might propose murder. BUT JESS IS THE CRAZY ONE OKAY. also, isabella, thought u werent a sidekick

I need more information on her before I can start plotting something. She can’t get away with hitting me, or toying with our relationship though

from cheesy bond villain to five year old to ‘casually insisting we’re in a relationship even tho we never talked about it’ -- the faces of edward snekma

No one was allowed to hit him like that. No one was allowed to publicly embarrass him.

everyone needs 2 hit you okay. how bout u calm down. it was an empty park in the middle of the night, public only by technicality

Where Edward’s rage was fiery, and his every word burned with anger, Isabella’s fury was glacial and restrained.

i have nothing funny to say here, this is just a beautiful image

“She has shared a lot with me over these past few weeks. I know about her past.”

R U FUCKING KIDDING ME ISABELLA JUST HO W DARE IM S CREAMING I CANNOT HANDLE THIS WAHT THE ACTUAL FUCK

bonus:

cold and triumphant.

bitch u aint won nothing yet. unless u triumphant that u a bitch

despite his anger for Jessica, he felt a warm fondness for the woman in front of him. She was a force. Intelligent – enough to keep up with him but not quite at his level. He respected and adored that. She was gorgeous as well.

when u wanna plot revenge but YOUR GF IS JUST SO DAMN HOT

“Isabella, do tell me what she’s shared.”

did u intentionally phrase this as a COMMAND and not a QUESTION because I’M SHOOK

She wanted to knock Jessica Jones off her moral pedestal, and show the other woman that she had chosen this. She had chosen Edward.

MORAL PEDESTAL HAVE YOU EVER MET JESSICA JONES SHE IS THE HUMAN EQUIVALENT OF A GARBAGE CAN, SHE TAKES BRIBES, BREAKS INTO PEOPLE’S HOUSES, AND HATES BUBBLES. WHAT KIND OF MORAL PEDESTAL IS THAT. HER MORAL PEDESTAL IS A WHISKEY BOTTLE

also uh huh sure u did bby u keep telling urself that this is allll ur choice

Killing the guy who had hurt her had clearly damaged her

jessica was damaged long before that shit, u have no idea

“Well, she’s a murderer”

okay u have some idea ALSO WTF HOW DARE. YOU’RE JUST GONNA TAKE THIS AND DROP IT IN LIKE YOU’RE MENTIONING THE WEATHER?? WELL, IT’S SNOWING. WELL, DON’T FORGET TO PICK UP THE MILK. WELL, SHE’’S A MURDERER. AND ALL WHILE SITTING ACROSS FROM YOUR ACTUAL MURDERER. WHO YOU LIVE WITH.

and then u take a sip of tea, i fucking did u just

i can see why ed likes u UR BOTH SO EXTRA. SNEKTRA.

back up:

Isabella met Edward’s gaze and couldn’t remember what it had been like to hate him in that all-consuming, festering, corrosive way. Now, all of her rage was directed at the woman who had dared to insult her by suggesting that she’d been controlled, who had the audacity to hit him.

had the goddamn balls to hit him more like. also, look at how isabella is aware that she’s transferred her anger from ed to jessica, but doesn’t see this aS AN ISSUE. bc when you have to twist your moral viewpoint enough to see your abuser/murderer as the love of your life, everyone else who doesnt accept that viewpoint becomes the enemy

“I think that’s why she turned to alcohol. His death really weighs on her conscience. She was lying on the sidewalk, drunk, when I last saw her.” She wrinkled her nose in disgust. “I think she’s homeless, too, which may come in handy.”

listen we dont talk about jessica jones’ alcoholism okay we DONT. especially when our name is hissabella. & fuck u, she was tired ok. ALSO SHE HAS A HOTEL ROOM OKAY SHE ISNT TOTALLY HOMELESS

A murderer she said. Well, there was tons of things he could do to her now. Tons of games and traps he could set up with that theme in mind. She thought she was all high and mighty but she killed just as Edward had. She wasn’t so different from him at all.

u strangled your girlfriend, chopped her up, murdered the guy who caught you burying the body, and before all that you murdered your girlfriends previous boyfriend bc u thought u were a white knight.

jessica killed her literal stalker/abuser because he was more dangerous alive than dead and still feels haunted by it every day. she spent weeks avoiding that exact option. totally the same

Edward was making a life for himself, he was moving on and redeeming himself to society and then she came with her high morals and smacked him right in the face with it. Now it was coming out that she was a hypocrite.

u were thinking about killing a woman who bruised you two minutes ago. also, you killed a woman and framed the joker, like yeah, totes reformed. rather be a hypocrite than DELUSIONAL. high morals omg, she just asked u not to be a dickhole to the woman u murdered

“Oh, dear.” He purred.

jfc edward i cant with u

“Oh, did he ever want to torture her for believing she was better than he was... She couldn’t better herself and be a productive member of society. *

how do u start a paragraph wanting to torture someone and end it believing that you are a better asset to society omfg

“Isabella… I can’t believe people just tell you all of this. God you’re… incredible. I bet that you can get information from anyone you please! With ease.” What an asset she would be to the Riddler.

and to this diiiiick (im so sorry, but its sami & sophies fault for getting shippy in the middle of THIS. MURDER-PLANNING & CHILL JFC.

Watching Edward think was a genuine privilege, and Isabella smiled as he took in her information.

r u goddamn serious right now, o h m y g o d

that Isabella was stupid and easily manipulated, and controlled

jessica has said exactly none of these things.

There was a new cadence when Edward spoke, a chilling note that she had never heard before, and it sent a pleasant shiver down Isabella’s spine.

ew. ick. BAD TOUCH.

He was right, of course. Jessica Jones was a hypocrite, projecting her hatred of the man who had hurt onto Edward. They were nothing alike.

right. nothing. not at all. except that you’re both victims of horrific traumas who got the chance to face down their abusers and who feel haunted by memories and cant get in cars, sure.

“Hypocrisy, thy name is Jessica Jones,” Isabella replied, smiling.

y r u like this

“Oh my, thank you, Edward,” she said, unable to keep the happiness out of her tone.

THIS IS A MURDER PLOT NOT A 1950S SITCOM

I can get more information from Jessica, but I would have to lie about you. I’m sorry.

i just. i cant. how did u go from pointing a gun at this man to apologizing for potentially lying about him in the future in order to help him get revenge on another woman who did basically nothing to you???

Reaching after she did and taking her hand. He saw her reaching hers out as an invitation for Ed to hold hers.

holding hands, talking about revenge, the perfect couple

It would be beneficial for us if she is to believe we are not in cahoots at all. Give it a little time to cool off and then go to her – crying, preferably. It would be easier to work against her if she trusts you.

firstly, ed becomes a cartoon western villain at the beginning of this sentence. also COMMAND, COMMAND, COMMAND. but sure isabella, ur in total control here, as you let ed tell you every little thing to do

You said this man was terrible to her? Probably an abuser? Dig up information on what he was like by speaking to her. I’ll try and find files on him or any information at all, really. I want to get his voice down pact. A perfect imitation.

NO NO NO NON NO NO NO NO ONO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO

DO NOT DO THAT DO NOT HOW I JUST I HAVE ACTUAL PHYSICAL PAIN READING THIS BIT

He smiled, almost cruelly at what he had in mind. They could bring this man back to life in her memory and torment her easily with him. Rub who she had killed right in her face so she knew that she was not the moral woman she wanted to believe she was. So she was reminded by what she had done.

ALMOST CRUELLY. ALMOST. BECAUSE THIS ISN’T THE HELL JESSICA ALREADY GODDAMN LIVES THROUGH EVERY GODDAMN DAY. L O L. ALMOST.

They were together on this. Holding Edward’s hand like the affirmation that Jessica hadn’t broken them, the way she’d planned to.

but he’s taking the lead, bc hes cute when hes being a patriarchal bastard. also, ‘planned’ gives jessica jones way too much credit. her plans suck way worse than this.

judged Edward to some insane moral standard that didn’t even allow him to defend himself.

YOU MEAN THE MORAL STANDARD OF DONT KILL YOUR EX GIRLFRIEND AND MAKE HER FEEL LIKE YOU RUINED HER LIFE ONCE UPON A TIME??

As she thought of all the chances she’d given that woman, every offer to help her, Isabella felt the righteous anger freezing her veins again.

again. u met twice. talked 3 times.

It would be a fascinating character study. A chance to observe Jessica’s reactions to emotional stimuli in a controlled environment.

what the ever loving fuck isabella when the hell did you fall this far YOU’RE NOT TALKING ABOUT OBSERVING AN EXPERIMENT YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT DESTROYING A WOMAN’S LIFE FOR THE LOLZ

And Isabella was a very adept liar, and she didn’t often get to put that skill into practice.

UR ALSO A VERY ADEPT SNEK hissabella. krisssssten

say that I’ve cut you off.” She held his hand a little tighter when she spoke, to reassure him that she wouldn’t dream of doing that.

gag. look how desperate she is -- trying to convince him or herself hmmm?

“We can make her think he’s come back from the dead! I’m proof that’s possible, after all.”

have i mentioned that i fucking h8 u omg

“How are you so perfect?”

at this point, the chatzy devolves into a shippy shippy shipfest. they stop plotting like 80s villains and start acting like a 50s couple. they decide to move in, but isabellas sleeping in the guest room, wink-wink. and then there’s these two bits:

Was he not reformed?

… He would do this one thing. Torture Jessica, then he’d go back to the normal, bland life he had been fighting for, for five years.

you sound thrilled about that idea edward.

How had she ever thought she could live without Edward? She had been pieces of two people, disconnected and fragmented, but orbiting her life around him was pulling her together again.

when isabella first got to starcity, she was alllll about making a life for HER. a life outside of what ed & oswald & the court did to her. and now, she’s filled the holes in herself with bits of him and let him take over her whole life

they were both trying so hard to make new lives, but the second this old flame came back, they threw themselves on the fire

#aka ooc #[this got so weird idek what happened im sleep deprived]#starcooc

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whimsically-ominously-auspice · 5 years ago

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Alex L: are you hoping Matt wont fight me this weekend?

Me: no. I'm hoping you'll fight him. Cause I'll know you'll win.

Alex: you think so?

Me: mmhmmm you always do

Alex: he's huge though baby

Me: well don't go for his Dick. He doesn't have one. But doesn't matter though Alex. I heard someone told him 10 people already had his name on Their fists. So you will be fine.

Alex: well im not using ten other people! Im just talking about me myself and I! Shit Saint Luches! She's gonna get me killed

Me: actually the group of 10 has more danger of being hurt unless they are to hold him down or stand in line. Because they don't have a chance to move when there's such a large group. You alone can totally kick his ass because you know how to move that lil ass. Remember that.

Alex: fucking pillow talk with Sabrina. Shit

Me: besides that baby You know he only got so big cause he was scared because he can't fight. And then he can't even touch the middle of his back anyway because hes got all them useless muscles.

Alex: really? They're useless? He can pick up a car

Me: brass knuckles you funky munky

Alex: You!!

Me: yeah. Gas monkey you used to drive for him. It was black and green lettering and I always sung it when I saw it

Alex: dam baby

Me: all the time. You like that huh?

Alex: Fuck babe

Me: and I remember, too

Alex: you're gonna make me cry

Me: you're gonna need to buy me a bra. I can't find mine

Alex: it's over there in the corner under that Like if shit or in the ... Is it in the hamper baby?

Me: I dont... Think so baby... I don't even... I haven't worn one in like... Since October?

Alex: i noticed

Me: old lady titties. You shouldn't be looking .. Leave them poor old things alone..them old hippie drippies look like they ain't seen a bra in their life!

Alex: well why did you quit wearing it?

Me: i got tired of putting it on everyday!

Alex: alright baby I'll buy you a bra. I know your size

Me: 48 or 46? Idk don't look at me!

Alex: i think it's 46 babe

Me: you have to try it on. Take all your boys babe

Alex: to buy you a bra?

Me: to try them out. You know how to do it. You gotta put it on... Then you gotta jump in front of the mirror and see if you like what you see. I bet Phoenix has a mall. Cacique.. I think it closed down but.. Don't go in Victoria Secrets they will look at your boys rude and yoh all sexy. But go to Frederick of Hollywood. All the girls on Christopher Street go,there

Alex: i know they did

Me: alright so you know what to do

Alex: where this bouncing come from?

Me: you know they can't unlacth the back so in a hurry they can see what it will look like when you know they don't take the bra off and he's got her jiggling.

Alex: I see. This is very testy, how serious is this babe?

Me: very!! I bet them boys forgot their Dick waa even for fucking!! They gotta get all the weird shit outta the way. So parading around in bras jumping up and down its like a bonding moment unlike no other!

Alex: and heels? You want us go try those on?

Me: mmhmmm and buy a pair in their size and then they girls don't wanna wear heels except in bed they will know why. Cause girl ain't wanna heard "them $3,000 shoes ain't ever hit the floor just wrapped around my ass and i swear your heel got real close to my shit hole and you may not wear them again" no she wanna hear "baby your shoe molested me and got me So scared i thought some one was here to take me away from you" that's what baby

Alex: what else baby?

Me: the thong.

Alex: okay baby I'll see what i can do

Me: good baby. That sounds wonderful. I think that's all

Alex: you want me to get your nails done baby? I saw you looking at them

Me: no. They cut them all the same and mine were peeling. But you can paint them. But i don't want to go to the salon

Saint Luches: they can treat them

Me: then we all go.

Alex: i knew that one was coming

Me: i see why you offered.

Saint Luches voice gets deep: for treatment

Me: yeah so after you get all dolled up at the mall yoh most certainly can take down a wanna be terminator with no arm reach. Take Steven Torrence to the mall, babe. Yoh said you owe him a jealousy apology

Alex: babe that's sounds more like torture!!

Me: if you're not invited to some weird cyclone event on Chandler love weekend

Alex: fine but because you called it Chandler Love Weekend

Me: i can't believe you got jealous!

Alex: what i did I did

Me: im just saying. I probably would been too probably but it was non touch. Non chalet just chillin,making someone feel good about themselves

Alex: you weren't ever serious?

Me: i think he's bunker kid adorable boy friend. Not bed.

Alex: aww shit I may had punched him a few too many times

Me: a few? Why?

Alex: eh babe don't ask questions I don't wanna answer.

Me: you really hit him? Like hard?

Alex: he hit me first !! ..... .... sometimes!

Me: you were in war with him?

Alex: hey look. You said boy friend in one word that's all i saw

Me: so. Babe and i was gonna take my girlfriend Brittany to bed?

Saint Luches: hey now a man could wish!

Me: insane. Insane. a War with a bunker boy!

Alex: it was.. It was... It was bad as hell i ain't gonna lie.

Me: you should been happy i had an anchor baby

Alex: I'm so dumb!

Me: did he hit you back good enough?

Alex: he called his mom who called my mom. Don't laugh don't laugh.I'm over here old as hell can't grow a mustache and his mom is calling my mom for the first time. It never happened in my fucking life.

Me: is that what he said? You can't grow a mustache so i wanna real man? So what you called him short? You guys did name calling for no reason until you got mad and threw a punch

Alex: look his mom called my mom first alright. Whose the wimp

Me: babe you probably gave him a bloody nose! And he had a heart attack. He needs extra love.

Saint Luches: you stop that right now

Me: im not talking to you. Really don't beat up that little boy

Alex: he's a grown man babe

Me: i said he's a little boy. You leave him alone.

Saint Luches: you know what i noticed too? He wasn't putting on a pansy about it. He was a real bitch, Alex was

Me: why you gonna yell at him for what I do?

Alex: i was feeling neurotic

Me: i was feeling unsafe and he was safe

Alex: don't cry. I'll apologize okay? I'll give him a dollar

Me: just make sure it's not pennies in a sock

Alex: alright just don't cry. I hate when you cry for what i do

Me: he was an anchor baby and i told you a thousand times.

Mark: dam it that's sexy.

Me: you like my anchor babies?

Mark: yeah. It wasn't that bad babe he was putting you on. It got pretty heated but he didnt beat him up

Me: did he think little Steven was possessing me? Making me like him because he's a nice kid

Mark: He was really just crazy he didn't know what to think and people like both med and large Jesse were taking shit how you were fucking Steven behind Alex's back and Matt got on it. It was bad babe.

Me: that's fucked up. I should had killed them already

Alex: you what? Music to my ears

Me: is he really going shopping?

Mark: you know I can't tell you that

Me: I'm sorry they did that to you Alex. No one told me.

Alex: really? No one? I told you they were fucking with me about him and I was getting mad

Me: and I said I was not hiding anything and it was plain to see

Alex: I know and I said I would beat himup anyway

Me: I thought you meant Jesse

Alex: oh Jesus Christ

Me: well i tell you thst scrap ain't scared of shit. He ain't ever blocked me. That's a real man if you ask me.,BABE. Use your brain.,

Alex: oh ok I'll go apologize and I'll be nice

Mark: they never get along because of you

Me: and the first day I call him sexy He blocks me. Alex come here.

Alex: what

Me: I love you

Alex: alright I'll get over it -- I mean him

Me: well I don't need to because you had more passion in your relationship than he and I did. Just so you know

Alex: are you sure?

Me: YES! :)

Alex: I'll learn to chill

Me: and I thought you were. Until I saw you fighting Tanner Gray. Who by the way is hot. But Babe.

Alex: you think hes hot?!?!

Me: you're focused on the wrong thing.

Alex: he said he would fuck yoh so i beat him up

Me: and i appreciate it.

Alex: wh

Me: because i didn't even know who he was and he was talking shit and i found it to be disrespectful and i didn't run across it online till weeks later. Or months Idk. And it was gross. He don't know me to be talking like that. Someone's kid all nasty up on me. He wasn't invited. I didn't see him that way. Did Steven say he would fuck me?

Alex: no

Me: okay. So don't listen to rumors ok? Ok?

Alex: yeah alright babe.

Me: okay. He's sick like me. He had a heart attack

Alex: Steve Torrence did

Me: yeah. We had things in common not alot of people do. Child hood sickness. Like you and me. We didn't have a normal child hood. While we weren't actually sick. We saw the sickest things in the world. It just felt safe to know he was there. Not like id be all in his trailer. I'd rather be in John Force's trailer just because he is more fatherly.. He just made it help feel safe for me. You see now? And I'm pretty sure they knew that. That's why they started taking shit. Because it could been about anyone to make you upset. But to keep me away so they can human traffic or try to pimp girls. They know I'll fuck up their shit So they would find my safety zone and attack it. So you fight with Steve Torrence. Then I get mad at you. Then what? You don't trust me. So then you're all paranoid and then you don't like people I like so we have no one in common. They had a whole list. Big Jesse ran by me. I just told them I didn't like anyone in it. But they knew who I would. They did. I remember I looked him up. Like Greg Line. Then they wanted to know how much I paid attention to mechanics and they were all "pick this one. Pick this one." On and on then "that should fuck her up" well i didn't know what the fuck they were talking about I really wasn't interested in racing. I knew there was shit to find but I didn't know what. So i knew I wasn't interested in what they were about. Because I have my own ways. My own shit I look for. My own reasons to do things. Them fucking with you is not something I ever thought would happen. I really thought you were all non violent and chill. Outta drama minding your own business

Alex: well I really am babe but they brought it to me

Me: I know baby, that is what I'm saying. To hurt you.

Alex: oh the fuck they did. I see. I'll earnestly apologize to Steve Torrence

Me: honestly?

Alex: it means the same thing. Then I'll take care of that rumor mill okay baby

Me: ok. Thank you

Alex Laughlin: I love you

Me: i love you, too

Alex: More than Steve?

Me: differently than him baby. Diffffferent. I love you

Alex: I love you. Don't cry no more Ok? I'll take care of it baby.

Me: k

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chippedfolks · 7 years ago

Text

Here we go again

Right where should i start? hmmm Once Upon a Time.. Jk haha Well yesterday Jimmy asked if we could skype (we haven’t skyped/ seen each other in a month since last time we skyped was August 2nd) coz i was going to give me a pep talk before he starts work on the 4th of Sep. He really doesn’t know what i’ve truly been through, and how bad things are and really were but when he called too give me a pep talk before i started work it really lifted my spirits. So I wanted to surprise call him like he did too me because it was a great feeling, but oh well..i will text him on the day of his work in the morning and tell him im proud of him and i believe in him. I am soo genuinely proud of him, he has no idea. I just know no person as smart and that has a pure soul like he does will go unrecognised. I pray to all the gods and the universe that he stays blessed. I respect him and i know he is going to live a life worth telling. He’d love it if kids in school in the future could read about his accomplishments and learn about his life. If i were them, he’d be the person i would look up too. Honestly, i was really really nervous following up too us talking, I was thinking about how it would go in my head before i went too bed last night, and what i wanted to say. Anyway so i got up today and had a bunch of things too do for my new shitty room (trying to buy things to make it looks better..don’t think it’s working!) And i said around 4 which was 6 my time we should skype i’ll be free. I actually mainly went out to the hair salon to get hair straighten (IKEA was right next to the hair salon so after to the hair salon i was like why not go). I was just looking like shit i didn’t want him to see me looking bad. I guess i tried too look decent haha, don’t know if your suppose to do that for ur ex. But maybe there’s an exception for an ex you still love. So i came home around 6 and was like i need to change my shirt i look gross, i literally tried on 8 shirts and shit and i was like fuck it.. i was like should I show some of my non-existent cleavage haha (gosh i miss our fun time) anyway i just went with the first thing i had on -.- Seriously i couldn’t wait too talk too him, i missed his voice and face soo much. I didn’t even get too properly see his tan that he has been working on all summer :( But wait for it :D..... I called him up, and fuck me he was tan like a good tan like a perfect let me eat you up looking tan. I tried to act cool, i think i did a good job. Gosh he is beautiful. The entire conversation i had to try my hardest to look away or else i would have fucked him with my eyes alone, i seriously was trying so fucking hard not too stare so much.. He wasn’t really looking at me either, more at the wall and sabrina because he was lying down. Oh well. Gave me a chance to stare! So all in all the convo was chill we made some jokes, he made fun of me a lot, it was nice, i didn’t mind. I was trying too flirt i dunno haha..maybe he was trying too (it felt like it) but i doubt it. It just felt nice inside a good tingly feeling, honestly i felt so fucking good inside. I missed talking to my true bf, he just always makes me so happy. We didn’t talk about much he sorta caught me up on the things he remembered and i’m not doing anything exciting in doha in particular so i had nothing too say..even though i always fucking managed to remember stuff i wanna talking to him about after we are done talking. I get nervous, even though i know him more than anyone i’ve ever known. I think that might change the less we talk, because everyone grows and changes as time goes by. Even in 2 months i’ve changed so much and i bet he has as well with al that he is doing :D I just hope he stay the fun loving and funny, down to earth weirdo i know him too be. There were some awks silences during our convo..guess we didn’t know what to say haha it’s cool tho, but i still felt comfortable it was a good awkwardness. He talked about his own future and work and what he plans on doing, and obviously we aren’t together so it has nothing to do with me but it was a little crushing not going too lie. Deep down i thought he was still thinking about moving too london after a year at his current job. I’m still trying to work hard so i can go to law school in london and then apply for a job in london. Part of me wants too because i always wanted too, but a huge part of me wants too because i’d be closer too him (4 and 1/2 hours away including national express) but maybe he could move to london as well. Like we always planned. My dad said that after he is done educating me, i can do whatever the hell i want even if he means being with Jimmy, which i still do want. But Jimmy said “he’s thinking of working at his current job for 3 years”, so we’re not going to be at all together in person or even together for years and years. But after 3 years he’d definitely move on...like I don’t want to meet another guy or fuck other people, I want him and I would dead ass move too Portugal and find a job so i would be closer too him..but then i’d look crazy. We won’t be staying in touch as much, im guessing which already scares me (i don’t want him to ever leave my life!) but we aren’t together in person so its hard too love someone that’s not there. It was hard enough loving Long Distance, but we communicated all the time..all day! But yo he’s gone, he’s no longer mine. As time moved on he will crave female attention and physical attention and someone to massage his beautiful hair and kiss his soft dry lips. He wants intimacy and sex and love and i can’t give him that as much as i’d love too. And he will find that and he’ll be happy. It will hurt at least but he’ll be taken care of. How am i suppose too replace him or find a better version of him in any other man once i can longer be with him? I never wanted too let him go, he was my lottery ticket my one in a million and but i had too. I’ve not moved on yo, i still think about him. You know i always thought maybe i’m in love with the idea of Jimmy and not him so if i forget the idea in my mind i can move on, but talking too him and the way he made me feel like fuck i know exactly why i fell madly in love with him. He may just love me but not be in love with me, but i will never stop fighting to get him back until he lets me know he never wants me back in his life as his partner in crime in life or if he finds someone better. Nonetheless, i am extremely happy for him and proud that he still very much so wants to travel a lot, and just live life. I was always holding him back because of the way i grew up, even though i would kill to join him im just stuck in an unfortunate situation. He’s still full off life and i love it. I’m able to vicariously live though the travel stories he tells me, and the more he travels the more i will feel happy :D Oh i noticed he was still hugging sabrina the whole time we were talking, i didn’t really wanna say “hi my baby sabrina” even tho i really wanted too. I was trying so hard to be a chill friend, not his gf. We talked for a good hour and a half, but it felt like 5 mins too me. haha i still wanted too talk more. Oh he has another roommate joining him, so that will keep him busy when he gets home from work... and he can chill with francis and jony b and then go too bed without having to talk too me at annoying ass every night. He can finally get his good 8 hours of sleep. But boy do i miss those night phone calls, it was a great brief pleasure i had in life. So all in all so much has happened in both of our lives over the past 2 months and we both couldn’t remember most off it too tell each other on our skype call. It’s just so weird you go from knowing every beautiful thing (good and bad) that happens in a persons life, too not knowing anything once your not together. A part of you really does break off. I need too try harder too move on, like he has! He’s moving on too bigger better things :D which is not me, so the question is how does one force true love (on my part) too just stop?How you do stopping loving your love? It’s torture :( No tears i need too stop crying! today was a good day and he brighten up your heart and day. He was the best part of my day today, he maybe me forget about my real iife. Gosh haha i was soo happy for like an hour after talking too him, i even voice-noted sabrina and told her how happy i was. He really did/does make me purely happy, and since this summer has been so bad and low for me... just been blessed to have the hour too talking too him makes me feel like my old happy self again :) He really does bring out the best in people <3 Until i see him again. From a victim on forbidden love, and distance love. Lots of love :D Your girl

#diary

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