#bestie's ex cheated on him with 2 dudes? I think 2. and then they told him and he broke up with her obviously | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

keepcalm-and-beyou · 5 years ago

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Machine Gun Kelly(Colson Baker)

Breaking up with Kells PART 2:

PART

~(Kells POV)~

“Hit that, maybe it will brighten up your day” my boy whiz says passing me some good weed smoke. “Oh fuck yeah” I take the blunt having a long puff from it. “Been one of those fucked up months ya know what I’m saying” I tell him. Whiz nods understanding. I don’t even hide the fact I’m pretty fucked up over mine and Y/N’s break up. Shit all I do is smoke weed, do drugs, drink and sleep. It’s about 4pm and I just woke up thanks to Slim barging in my room telling me whiz is here and to come down for a wake n bake. And I’m not one to pass up on weed.

“Yo man you gonna put on real clothes today or it is another rob and boxers kinda day?” Asks Rook looking at me and the way he’s looking pisses me off. Looks like judgmental like as if I ain’t going through some shit. “Yo fuck you dude” I spit out. Standing up going to grab a bottle of whiskey taking a couple swings. “Bro you gotta chill” Slim spoke. “Hey man come sit with us smoke some more” whiz offers. “Nah I’m good” I respond wanting to chug the bottle back and crash out. Fuck being around people that don’t get it or just pitty me. So I chug more whisky feeling the burn in my throat. I walk away going to my room while hugging the booze bottle. “Kells come on man” Slim yells .

I drank a lot more this month without Y/N had been fucking torture on my mind body and fucking soul. This will only keep going on the torture it will keep on forever without her. My dumbass decided to go through one of my phones seeing old pictures of Y/N missing her so much it’s gonna kill me. With every breath I take I miss her. Clicking on a video I took of her.

we were going to the beach. She felt insecure about her bikini choice and I was telling her how beautiful she is and sexy in it as she stood there smiling and laughing.

This here had to make me mad. It triggered bad emotions. Tossing my phone to my bed and throwing the bottle of booze to my wall. Watching as glass hit the floor. Beefier I knew it Slim and Rook were in my room looking shocked asking if I was okay. “You can’t keep doing this shit bro” Slim says shaking his head at the mess. I stand there not knowing what to do, clean the mess or drink more, maybe smoke more. I grab a towel throwing it on the floor to cover the glass and booze. The guys stay still in one stop but following with their heads every moment I make. I took my pre rolled joint from my nightstand sitting on my bed reaching for my lighter. “Ima smoke this and crash” i tell the boys and light my joint. They nod leaving.

“We gotta help him” Slim tells Rook. “Yeah How nothing has worked he won’t even look at another girl” Rook responds. “We need Y/N, HE needs Y/N” Slim says.

~(Y/N POV)~

It’s been a month sense my breakup and yes I still hurt behind closed doors that is. But to the world I’m fine heck I’m Perfectly fine. I was out often doing things with my bestie Bella. We’d go to the beach, pool parties, shopping, and movies. I’ve even managed to snag some minor rolls in films like the ones Bella stars in. We were constantly together basically living with one and another. Bella has been the best I fucking love that girl.

Today we are going to a carnival with a couple of our girlfriends. The carnival is by the beach. There’s restaurants and all the rides and booths will be in a huge lot. Bella being her self loving social media snaps some cute pictures of me and her posting them on Instagram and Snapchat before we drove off.

“Bitch this is gonna be fun af” Bella sticks her tongue out to me. I smile at my gorgeous bestie “Well we are the life of the party”. “Oh maybe we’ll find some hottie with a beach bod body”Bella cheers. “Oh gosh” I roll my eyes. We turned up the music because what’s a drive without dope tunes. Parents by Yungblud played through the car speakers us girls sang along.

“Omg Y/N you should hook up with him” Bella says confusing me “hook up with who?” “Yungblud duh he totally has thing for you I know for a fact” she smiles. My eyes widen at this crazy girl. “ Bitch please he’s friends with my ex?” I laugh. “Duh perfect payback” she smirks. “Oh jeez Bells your evil” I laugh. “You just don’t have the lady balls” she laughs. “Maybe I’m not fully over Kells yet” I respond. “Rebounds are perfect for that” Bella Chimes in. I shake my head at her and her craziness.

Finally at the carnival we all get out the car fixing our hair and clothes. “So ladies where to first?” I ask eyeing my girls. “Well me and Dani definitely wants snacks” Halston our friend speaks for her and our friend Dani. “And we’ll be at the Ferris wheel” Bella grans my hand as we walk on. “Let’s get it girl” Bella smiles while we go onto the ride. “If I look like I’m falling out this thing by all means save me or jump to” I chuckle. She laughs. The ride goes on and we both yell “woohoo” then laugh together. We get off the ride needing a drink so we found a food cart grabbing two waters for us.

“Hey Y/N” someone says from behind me clearing there throat. I turn right around hearing the familiar voice eyes wide. “Can we talk please” Slim asks me. I think for a moment “uh she’s busy” Bella butts in. “I think she can spare a couple minutes” Rook said annoyed with Bella. “Not for you guys” she smirks putting a hand on her hip. “It’s okay bells I got this give us a minute” I tell her. She nods walking not to far from us.

“What do you want” i lightly demand crossing my arms over my chest. “He’s a wreck, a real mess” Slim starts “not my problem sweetie” I remark with sass. “Please Y/N just listen” Rook says and I roll my eyes. “Why should I?” I ask raising my left eyebrow. “Cuz Kells misses you, he loves you, and needs you” Slim says.

“No Ew, he can keep the hoe he was sucking face with” I chuckle. “Y/N I wouldn’t lie to you, you know that right” Slim tries convincing me more. I stand tall arms crossed eyebrow raised as high as it will go. “He didn’t cheat” Slim continues and I only scoff at that. “She kissed him, she was hitting on him he told her off and she kissed him anyways, and you only saw the last part” he adds. “What’s done is done” I say shrugging. “It’s the truth okay he even cut her loose from the track the second he saw her after what happened” Rook decided to speak.

“He’s drinking like an alcoholic, abuses his drugs, sleeps for hours as long as he ain’t busy getting fucked up, and his temper is crazy the fucker like a ticking time bomb. He gonna need some mental help or YOU” Slim goes on. “And he rather have YOU” rook adds. “He wants and needs his beautiful understanding girlfriend” Slim smiles at me. “He’s just a fucking major mess without you, and he doesn’t deserve to be that way” Rook looks down. “Call him text him phone come over something girl” Slim begs. “I gotta go boys have a nice day” i say walking to Bella. “Finally girl” she jumps up. “Come on bitch” I link our arms walking around.

By the time I’m back home my mind is filled with memories of Colson and Every word slim and rook has said. Should I believe it? Should I talk to him? If I did talk to him what way should I do it?.. My head hurts from this shit. I make my self a drink and sit on my couch contemplating life.

*Knock Knock* “Is he here?” I ask starring at Slim, He smiles nodding “Yeah he’s in his room, might be sleeping” he tells me. I nod walking through the door way and making me way upstairs. All sort of nerves ruining through my body and mind, sweaty palms and sick feeling in my stomach.

*Knock Knock* “Fuck Off” I hear Colson grumble. I sigh turning the doorknob slowly opening it “Kells?” I squeak out turning his light on. And there he was beautiful him yet looking awful like a torture lost puppy, why must he be so cute.

He stairs in disbelief like I’m a dream like it’s magical having me here. I take in a shaky breath “Hi” squeak again. He blinks few times and runs his eyes from the sleep in them. “What, why-why are you here?” His voice comes out raspy. “I think I need to hear something” i respond. “Hear what?” He asks confused. And grabs a joint from his nightstand lighting it. “The truth Kells, I need the truth, the cold hard truth or sweet kind truth whatever it may be I need it” I share the words that fastly come to mind.

I take slow steps to him sitting on his bed next to him. He passes me the joint I take it having a couple puffs trying to clam my self. “The truth can set us free or maybe we’ll see” i rhyme some wise words and pass him the joint back.

“I told you the truth Y/N” he lets out sounding hurt. It kills me hearing that hurtness. “Please tell me again what happened right before I walked in that studio” I beg. He turns to me his eyes look misty only making me wanna cry to. But I can’t I won’t not here. “She kissed me.. she was hitting on me I wasn’t down down, I had you” he stops talking getting more emotional for a second And I look down biting my lip. “She kissed me anyways and that’s when you came it” he finishes. I nod.

“Okay. Thank you for the truth, I’m sorry I couldn’t believe you before” I say holding in all emotions not knowing what now?. He told me truth nothing more. I got up “I guess I’ll let you go back to sleep” I speak lowly.

“I love you” he speaks fast. He got up looking like that damn wounded puppy. “I’m sorry that ever happened, I wish I could go in time to change it, I’m sorry you were hurt, I wish I never agreed to work with her, I miss you, I fucking need you” speaking fast again his words sounding desperate.

He takes one big step to me standing close startling me when he grabbed my face eyes locked onto my wide ones. “I’ll do anything for us to be us again, even though it was a misunderstanding I’ll do whatever it takes for you to trust me again.” Eyes of his searching mine. “I. Need. You” he speaks just above a whisper.

Oh gosh no no no this ain’t happening NOW my Brian yells at me for the Tears coming out of my eyes. Colson looks at me even more saddened at my tears, he moves his hands to wipe them away while saying “ I need you” again to me. I let out a small whimper And Colson puts his lips to mine kissing me making the sad sounds come to a stop. I wrap my arms around his neck he hold my waist helping me reach his height. I missed those lips and his everything. “I love you and need you too” i whisper. “You have no idea how much I missed you” he smiles. “When was the last time you showered or cleaned” i laugh looking around his room. He chucked “ive been a mess”.

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its-3am-sadness · 5 years ago

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getting lost up in the past— this is what I found

Friday February 1st, 2013:

ugh..im sitting in third hour..i wanna cry, but i cant theres to many people..

can anyone really save me? ..no.. noone ever can.. i just wanna be happy, truely always happy.. )': ughhhhhhhhhhhh! i gotta go..

Monday February 4th, 2013:

holy shit that was a longg weekend.. i almost cut saturday.. i got a new razor & everythingg.. Jake told me to go chuck itt in the snow, soo i did, but then on sunday i went & found itt.. soo i have itt in my ipod case like my other one.

I stayed up till 3 saturday nightt watching 'Enchanted' i love that movie now (: and i sent Jake a 7 and a 9 page text.. he was asleep though..but his best friend is a girl & i have nothing at all against that, i don't have a reason to hate her at all, i havent even met her, but i still am so super jealous.. i hate that they hang out and slepover together and i dont know, i trust him.. but look what happend with the last guy, i trusted him with all my heart, i never thought he would cheat on me and he ended up fucking his ex-girlfriend and lying about it.. im so scared.. i dont wanna be here.. i was thinking saturday & yesterday how i wish i was single just so i don't have to be so paranoid..but i love being around Jake that i wouldnt dream of ending it..

Shawntay said i should tell him about how i feel with him & his besty, but i idont wanna be the dumb bitchy girlfriend who is all 'you cant talk to girls-blahh blahh blahhk' shitt, ya know?? So ima just leave it to myself because i don't care..

im really trying not to cut.. Tabby (my ex's girlfriend) told me that it takes 21 days to break a habbit & we both last cut on the 22nd, soooo we'll see how that goes..

on wednesday it'll be me & jake's 4 months.. & next thursday is valenitines (how ever you spell itt) day and i wanna get him something.. hmm..

my tits now have names.. right one is Adam & the left is Ryder (:

I love him, my baby. <3 soo much.. </3

Wednesday February 6th, 2013:

today is 4 months with my baby!! i love him sooo much. dude. <3 he is so amazingg. i just want to push him in the snow and kiss him and be crazy. i am crazy about him.. like super crazy aboutt him. <3 i dont wantt him to be taken awayyy! ):

Hunter said he was going to ask me out last week on friday on the bus.. god he's a douche.. he broke my heart so many countless times and just left.. and my ex. my good lord, he is such a dick. im sick of them both fucking with my head and heart. ive moved on and it Shawntay's words 'have a new life with a better guy'.. god i love her. i dont know where i would be right now if it werent for her.. <3 i love you shawny'z forever <3

Friday February 8th, 2013:

well..i almost cut last nightt, i didnt but i was aboutt to.. im not taking my meds, im just throwing them in a bag & ima sell them.. they weren't working anyway soo..

Im seriously so sccared that Jake's going to leave me.. even though he says he's not going to an yada yada yada, but still.. im paranoid.. it's just who i am... i love him with all my heart though.. ya know??

im diguesting..im a whore..a damn slut.. in love with a guy who prolly cant stand me.. im fucking pathetic.. why..why..why would, HOW could anyone like me, or put up with me.. i mean, what the hell..im a little ugly bitch. a fat, pathetic, stupid, idiotic, loud, sluty little damn bitch...fuckkkkkkkk.