#best ud character you can’t change my mind

[pickledsprite]

who is this DIVA…💜

[clansayeed]

Bound by Destiny II, part 1 ― Chapter 1: The Nightmares

PAIRING: Kamilah Sayeed x MC (Nadya Al Jamil) RATING: Mature

⥼ MASTERLIST ⥽

⥼ Bound by Destiny II, part 1 ⥽

While struggling with nightmares of lives she’s never lived, a shadow from the past looming over her city, and the proposed idea that her life may just be a little bit too weird to handle alone, Nadya makes sure to tell herself that everything is perfect just the way it is. If only. When the self-proclaimed King of Vampires (and Maker of her sometimes-girlfriend and always-boss, can’t forget that little tidbit) Gaius Augustine returns intent on claiming Manhattan as the throne that was promised, she and her friends find themselves forced into the task of saving the world. But with millennia-old vampires and an Order of hunters on their heels as well as allies hiding catastrophic secrets at their backs… it won’t be an easy task. Too bad destiny didn’t exactly ask for her input.

Bound by Destiny II and the rest of the Oblivion Bound series is an ongoing dramatic retelling project of the Bloodbound series and spin-off, Nightbound. Find out more [HERE].

*Let me know if you would like to be added to the Destiny II tag list!

⥼ Chapter Summary ⥽

Nadya has a nice job, a gorgeous date-friend, and a calm Feral-free life. But terrifying nightmares keep her from truly enjoying all the things going for her, and the strain of it forces Nadya and her friends to reach a tipping point.

[READ IT ON AO3]

Except for the drawer in the fridge now explicitly labeled ‘BLOOD BAGS ONLY. LILY’S. DON’T TOUCH :)’ (the last part of which is a joke albeit not one Nadya finds very funny) it takes Nadya possibly far too long to realize her life hasn’t really changed all that much since her discovery of vampires.

Well… unless you wanted to count the time she was nearly killed by a bunch of rabid Ferals at a period-attire-required costume ball. Or the time her boss was wrongly convicted of plotting to kill a ton of people for some selfish gains (the details of which she’s still a little fuzzy, and by now asking would just make it uncomfortable). Or when she was one second away from being Evil Vampire Politician food only to be rescued by a Less Evil and Much Older Vampire.

But those weren’t out of the ordinary for someone hurled into this world headfirst and without the pizza that was promised.

Right?

Nadya still goes to work every night and comes home (almost) every day. Though lately with the hours they’ve been pulling she ends up investing in a comfy airplane pillow for quick half-naps at her desk when she can.

She still spends her weekends like a tv sitcom montage of varying positions on the couch while her room mate plays video games and occasionally hacks into bank servers on the side.

She still fumbles over her tongue tied up in a dozen knots every time she sees the gorgeous beauty that is her We’re-Not-Using-Labels-Yet, Kamilah. Though the fact that a 2,000 years-and-then-some vampire babe still finds Nadya’s utter lack of social skills charming in any possible way is a little suspicious.

Best not to look a gift horse in the mouth.

Everything is perfect just the way it is — was — continues to be — will be going forward. Nadya says some version of these facts to herself every day; sometimes out loud and sometimes in her head. Repeats them like a mantra as she goes about her daily routines before and after work. Everything is perfect just the way it is. Everything is perfect just the way it is.

She does this with the hope that one day she just might believe it’s true.

That one day she won’t wake up in the middle of the afternoon screaming her lungs out feeling them torn from her throat that’s still there; scrambling for all ten fingers and all ten toes because some weren’t there a second ago only she doesn’t quite remember how long ago she lost the big toe but it was definitely before the Crimean War; starving with a hunger she can’t describe but she’s sure her friends understand because that’s why Lily (jokingly) put the sticker on her blood drawer the way she did.

Everything is perfect just the way it is. Except when Nadya dreams a thousand lifetimes she’s never lived and so so many of them end with her drowning in innocent blood.

Never has she been more grateful for Lily’s long weekends with her girlfriend, Maricruz, down below the restless New York City streets in the Shadow Den.

Nadya takes long full swallows of tap water in between breaths. Her hand is shaking bad enough to spill but it’s just water and it’s just the bathroom sink and she’ll clean it up later. She should be lucky — just a few minutes ago she lost that hand in a duel against Catherine the Great.

It would have grown back, but still.

THUD. THUD. THU—UD.

Oh great.

“Will you dykes stop screamin’ bloody-freakin’-murder every single god damn day?!” Bellows the ever-delightful upstairs neighbor. Nadya never replies; not even when he storms his stomping feet all the way down the stairwell to pound on her door enraged and miserable.

Still — she only needs one hand to rip out a human’s tongue.

Nadya takes it back the moment she thinks it. Scrambles like she could catch every letter in the air before it floats off to wherever terrible thoughts like that go because they weren’t her thoughts please, please someone believe her.

When she’s showered the sweat from her body, wiped tears from her eyes and wrung the water from her hair Nadya decides, like the masochist she is, to try that sleeping thing again. It’s gonna be a long day at the office if she doesn’t.

And she’d like to think she wars with herself longer than she does — that her decision isn’t already made long before she rummages around in the dark of her blacked out room and plucks her glasses case out from underneath Kamilah’s treasured copy of Hamlet.

But there’s no one around. And these days Nadya can only be honest when she’s alone. Even if it’s only to herself.

She opens the fake leather and feels around for two small pills; spills a bit of water on her sheets because of the shaky hands thing when she knocks them back with the rest of the glass.

She hates it — hates herself for even having considered it in the first place and then some more for actually doing it. But how else is Nadya supposed to hope for some slim chance of mercy and dreamless sleep?

Nadya tries a bit of meditative breathing to pass the time while she waits for the sleeping pills to kick in. Decides maybe now would be a good time to try that mantra of hers.

“Everything…” — inhale; she doesn’t even recognize the sound of her own voice, exhale— “is perfect… just the… just…”

The neighbor resumes his not-so-passive aggressive elephant dance above her head. But Nadya’s weeping so loudly she can barely hear him.

Adrian rests the back of his hand against her forehead lightly. The chill of his touch makes her shiver — and more importantly brings Nadya out of wherever she was that kept her from being there with him.

But Nadya’s relief is short-lived.

“It’s been some time since I’ve had a temperature to feel but I know a fever when I see one.” She tries to wave off his concern like she has every other time, but no dice. “Why didn’t you tell me you were sick?”

“‘Cause I’m not.”

“Is that so?”

“Mmmhm…” Though it would probably help if Nadya remembered what she was mmhm-ing about. But her desktop screen-saver hasn’t been updated since Windows 95 so there goes her hopes of pretending.

Adrian isn’t having it. Mindful of her not-tip-top-shape condition he grabs the arms of her desk chair and turns her slowly; his pace painfully careful and full of caution.

Like she doesn’t know the strength he’s capable of. Like she hasn’t felt it under her own skin.

“Nadya — please Nadya look here, look at my finger.”

She remembers the last time he sounded that worried. One of the rare times the things she sees are both from her eyes and not — where she’s both the main character in the story and just another villain. Back at the Musea Sanguis.

When Valdas did this to me, she thinks bitterly.

But Adrian can’t know about that; can’t see her as weaker and more fragile than she already is. So she sits up a little straighter in her chair — pauses Adrian’s efforts at playing doctor because there’s no way she would be able to see the sun with how badly her glasses are smudged from sleep — and dutifully follows the path he traces in the air.

Nadya (with the surprising aid of Kamilah no less) had eventually managed to convince Adrian whatever psychic mind games the strange and impossibly enigmatic vampire had played on her was nothing more than a one-off. He was no less attentive but that’s just who Adrian is; she could accept that.

Kamilah was a different story. She didn’t help downplay the situation to Adrian because she was content to let Nadya deal with everything alone. Back in the Shadow Den, Nadya had confessed the painful truths of her headaches and nightmares. Hoping, praying maybe, that someone with her wealth of experience and knowledge could give a name to her torment.

Only she couldn’t. And Nadya watches her carry the weight of it every single night.

What Kamilah refuses to understand though is that Nadya is just… so tired. She’s tired of the questions and studies and the three PET scans because why not buy an extremely expensive brain imaging machine for the secret lab underneath your financial empire for one single person.

Nadya knows she’s a terrible person for complaining. She knows Kamilah just wants her alive and safe and pain-free.

She’s just so very very tired.

Adrian groans with effort as he stands. Old habits in pretending to be human, he told her once. Not that he needs to — they’re all alone up here. Nadya is convinced he just likes doing it.

“Well doctor,” Nadya teases, “tell it to me straight. Will I live?”

He doesn’t find it nearly as funny.

“If you were feeling overworked you should have told me.”

“I manage constant anxiety — this is kind of just a state of being.”

“Then maybe we should get you properly che—”

“No.”

Which is her biggest mistake; and she’s made quite a few. But no one is so adamant so quickly without looking suspicious. Nadya is no exception.

She tries to backtrack. “I just… I don’t like doctors. Actual doctors — not my boss.”

“I am an actual doctor,” he corrects but it’s offhanded, “and that isn’t the point. You’re a grown woman — I know — and I don’t want to overstep.”

“Then don’t.”

Adrian closes his mouth softly; lets the words die in the back of his throat. Nadya avoids watching as he returns to his office because she knows she won’t be strong enough to keep up the act. Remember, she reminds herself, this is for the best.

It’s to Adrian’s credit when he emerges from his office come the end of the work night with his coat over his arm and a smile on his face. Even if it is a little strained around the edges.

“Ready to head out?” he asks like nothing happened. Like she wasn’t a stone cold witch to him earlier because he made the mistake of caring.

Nadya hesitates. She had already resigned herself to taking the subway home. But rather than make it harder on herself she just nods and gathers up her things; knows he watches her every motion with sharp eyes and preternatural focus even while her back is turned.

If he isn’t convinced of her ruse by the time she joins him at the elevator he doesn’t say anything. Just holds the door open for her and makes chit-chat to fill the silence. Maybe some day she’ll be able to choke out how grateful she is for it.

When Adrian finally pulls up in front of her building, Nadya is practically already halfway out of the car. He stops her with a hand on her arm.

“Is Lily still out?” he asks, but what he means is are you still alone.

Nadya tries not to make it obvious when she shrugs him off.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Adrian.”

“… See you tomorrow, Nadya.”

He doesn’t pull away until she’s in her building and the door is closed behind her.

Later on, in the middle of the day when she wakes from a deep sleep choking on the feeling of blood hot and wet and satisfying running down her throat a small part of Nadya can’t help but blame him.

She shouldn’t…  but she’s doing a lot of things she shouldn’t lately.

Kamilah leans back in her chair and mulls over the flavor of the wine. She’s got that face on that Nadya always worries about when they do things like this. Enigmatic; like she has thoughts but they’re probably much harsher than the words she actually says; “It wouldn’t be my first choice to pair with our meal, but it has its merits.”

“You hate it.”

“Did I say that?” Kamilah quirks an eyebrow her way and that look makes Nadya squirm in her seat for ten thousand other reasons; none of which have to do with wine, the amazing fish entree in front of her, or the high-end restaurant in general.

Nadya calms herself with a sip of her own. She’s actually kind of a fan of it. Sure it was the first fruity option on the menu (after Kamilah translated, of course) but that didn’t mean it wasn’t as ritzy as every other bottle on every other table.

“You didn’t have to let me pick.”

“I wanted to see which appealed most to you.”

When Kamilah says things like that, Nadya can’t help but feel like she’s part of some grand experiment. An attempt at seeing how ‘the other half lives’ or something equally ridiculous. “Why?”

Why let me choose something when its obviously wrong?

Like everything she does, Kamilah chooses her answer carefully.

“You did not choose because you knew the brand, nor the label or even the translation of it. You did not choose this particular wine because you had tried it before, or because you hoped it would compliment some aspect of our meal.”

Nadya feels the tips of her ears burning hot and takes another large gulp to calm her nerves. “I picked the first thing I saw, Kamilah. It’s not that deep.”

Then Kamilah surprises her; she smiles. Not something overly brilliant and bright and yearning — but rare in public and rarer still these days.

“On the contrary. I have always known humans were impulsive creatures. But your impulses fascinate me, Nadya,” Her fingertip traces slender around the lip of her wine glass; holds Nadya hypnotic like everything else about her; her voice, her beauty… that striking sincerity.

“More than any other. Perhaps in ways I do not yet know how to articulate.”

At the other end of the restaurant the violinist returns from his break and resumes his melody; long, slow and rich. Like if he put Kamilah herself into song.

Without breaking their eye contact Nadya carefully turns the woman’s hand facing up by the wrist. Kamilah crooks her finger; scrapes just the tip of her nail tentatively over her human pulse point that has to be like a marching band in her supernatural ears.

Heck, Nadya doesn’t even have supernatural hearing and she catches every thump-thump of her own heart clear as day.

It’s so so rare that Kamilah shows this — and for this long. This kind of public affection; scandalous, salacious practically. Not like she hasn’t been constantly stroking the inside of Nadya’s calf with the tip of her boot since they sat down, though.

It had taken Nadya a couple of months (and more than a few evenings of forcing—actually forcing—Adrian to stop working, pull out the scotch, and explain exactly what the heck might be running through Kamilah’s mind for Nadya’s own mental peace) but she understands now.

Kamilah isn’t private because she’s embarrassed of Nadya. No — Kamilah is private because she is greedy for moments like these. She keeps them behind closed because they are for her eyes only; memories for her to brand onto her soul.

Kamilah weaves their hands together gracefully; the silver of Nadya’s charm bracelet curled in a possessive touch.

“Kamilah…” she whispers, and watches as the woman kisses the back of her hand reverently.

“Nadya.”

Only Kamilah can make her name both a warning and a promise.

[TEXT]: I c SOMEONES bed is still made [TEXT]: gedditttttt ;););)

[TEXT]: OMG Lily stop it

Lily takes her sweet time replying. Leaves Nadya waiting… and waiting… and then there’s the sweet sweet nectar of the gods coffee in front of her and there’s even a little bit of cinnamon sprinkled on top and Lily can wait.

The coffee needs her.

She takes the mug in both hands and drinks deeply — of course the brew scalds her tongue but how is it that Gerard can make such a darn good cup of coffee every time?

“Careful now,” says the Englishman while he goes about putting together Kamilah’s usual table setting; paper folded crisp to the financial section, “you’ll spill all over your nice blouse.”

She’ll give him that, actually. But as she brings her mug to her lips his amused smile falters, then vanishes altogether. For an old man who barely sees the sun Nadya didn’t think he could get any more pale until she sees it with her own eyes.

She follows his startled look to the red marks adorned on her wrists. Bracelets of bruises and Nadya herself was a little surprised when she caught sight of them but if memory serves Kamilah had… ahem, tied the scarves a little tighter than usual.

“Oh. Ha. Uh…”

“Oh I don’t think that is any business of mine,” Gerard recovers hastily, “so long as you’re aware of them, I suppose. Though I’d ask for my peace of mind that you ask Lady Kamilah to fix that for you before you leave.”

When the butler’s back is turned, Nadya touches the skin gently. It barely even hurts.

Kamilah joins them shortly after; returns the butler’s “Good evening, Lady Kamilah,” with a nod and the kind of smile she reserves only for him while she sits.

Nadya knows the routine quite well by now. Kamilah exchanges wordless pleasantries, then takes a sip of her espresso. When she’s cleared the first page of the paper’s financial reports she might join in on a conversation, but more often than not simply continues reading.

So it’s safe to say that when Kamilah pushes the paper aside and turns her seat to face Nadya fully it feels like she’s woken up in an episode of The Twilight Zone.

“Well good morning to you too, sunshine.” Nadya smiles… and doesn’t get one back.

“Why didn’t you tell me your nightmares were getting worse?”

The color drains from Nadya’s face. There goes the mood.

Behind them, Gerard makes a point of clearing his throat far louder than necessary. “You know — I think I might have forgotten to grab the laundry tonight.” He quickly rinses off the last of his dishes and takes his leave of them.

Kamilah waits expectantly in silence. She won’t be repeating herself. Only Nadya can’t muster up the courage to even look her in the eyes anymore.

Instead she fiddles with her nails in her lap. “I guess pretending not to know what you’re talking about is out of the question…”

“Astute,” replies the vampire curtly.

“Any chance I could beg for this to happen any other time but now?” But that just gets her a raised eyebrow in reply so, yeah no. And the idea of waiting out the patience of a woman like Kamilah is borderline laughable. Yet Nadya — she just can’t. Like the idea physically has her in knots and the biggest one is on her tongue which she kind of needs to, you know, speak.

“Please,” and she hates how pitiful she sounds; how weak, “please Kamilah can we… can we not ruin this?”

“I don’t grasp your meaning.”

“This. Us, right now. After a really good date and—and a really good night and… the morning or-whatever-after is supposed to be good too and if we start talking about it I just…” I’m going to ruin it like I ruin everything.

Though she’s thrown for a loop when Kamilah reaches out; places a firm palm on Nadya’s knee and waits, permanent and present, until she gets what she wants.

And maybe Nadya gives a little bit too much too easily. “You already know what’s happening. What else do you want me to say?” Yes, of course they’re getting worse. But if she admits that, she can’t pretend any more.

“You may sleep through these night terrors of yours, Nadya, but perhaps it would benefit you to realize it is you alone that does.”

No it doesn’t — it doesn’t benefit her at all. In fact the realization of it makes her queasy. Suddenly Nadya wishes she hadn’t guzzled half of her coffee and daily sugar intake.

“I didn’t mean to…” didn’t mean to choke on my words, “to wake you.”

“I believe you. If you had maybe you would have been honest with me from the beginning.” Kamilah definitely doesn’t miss the way her heart skips a beat; her frown deepens.

“I—I’ve been honest with you…”

“How easily you lie.”

“Okay — okay mostly; I’ve been mostly honest with you.” The more she talks the harder it gets for Nadya to keep the edge out of her tone. She’s not had a restful sleep in weeks, darn it, she’s owed a little snappiness.

Unlike Adrian though, Kamilah doesn’t take kindly to her attitude. She leans back in her seat with one leg over the other and if this is how she treats the people she does business with no wonder she’s one of the most powerful executives in the country.

“And pray tell how am I to fulfill my promise to you with only mostly-truths? How are mostly-truths able to better help me understand your suffering so that somehow I may discover a way to ease it?”

“Maybe because you keeping your promise isn’t my first priority right now.”

“But it is mine.”

“It’s not about you, Kamilah.”

“Isn’t it?”

Nadya grits her teeth. “No. It isn’t. None of this is about you. I’m the one going through it all, not you.”

Her words are bitter at the back of her throat all the way up to the tip of her tongue and beyond. Like something thick and dark and foul that seeps from her pores and just… out.

After a moment Kamilah takes her espresso and sips it idly. It’s something to do with her hands that isn’t harmful, something to do with her mouth that isn’t scolding.

Nadya thinks of a dozen different ways to apologize in the following quiet. One day she might even pluck up the courage to say them.

“What happened?” She asks instead, and watches Kamilah’s reaction. The stiffness of her breaks Nadya’s heart. “You said it yourself; I’m asleep. And I don’t always remember —”

“Last night included.”

She nods. “Last night included. So… please? Please.” Which is far too much begging for someone actually terrified to get their answer.

But she’s a glutton for punishment. That much is crystal clear.

For a moment it looks like Kamilah is ready to walk away; that she’s had enough. Then she changes her mind. It hits Nadya way too late that the woman is shifting in her seat; that she’s uncertain.

“That bad, huh?”

“It is not an incident I wish to repeat.”

“Like I do?” And she totally deserves the glare sent her way. “You know what I mean.”

“You were in immense distress, Nadya!” Kamilah very nearly shouts. Though even that holds her usual husked tone; her inner silence. She doesn’t raise her voice out of rage and that knowledge is scaring the both of them.

What it means is scaring the both of them.

“You tossed and turned and nothing would wake you. My every effort was wasted — I would have had better luck rousing a statue to life! I find myself despairing to think of what it must be like when you sleep alone in your own bed. Without someone to at least try… even if in vain. Without someone to…”

Don’t stop now. She has to hear it; she has to. “Without someone to what, Kamilah?”

“Without someone to hold you down and keep you from hurting yourself.”

Suddenly her wrists are a far less pleasant thing to look at; now that she knows they aren’t bruises of pleasure, but bruises of pain.

Kamilah watches as she rubs at the skin self-consciously. “I meant to heal you before you woke. So that you would not have to see what I resorted to.”

“You held me down hard enough to bruise.”

“And the very sight repels me.” Kamilah tries to take her hands but Nadya can’t help it — she pulls back with an impulse she doesn’t really understand, “When I had tried everything I could think of to no avail… I weighed my options. I would rather you know and understand what these nightmares are doing to you than find yourself unable to wake up at all.”

Unable to wake up at all. Hard words for Nadya to swallow. But they’ve got nothing on the pain Kamilah tries to hide with the long curtain of her hair. Something so strong she can’t push it back beneath the mask.

With a deep breath Nadya rests her wrists turned up in Kamilah’s hands. Rests a lot more in them too — and not even just tonight, right here right now. But it’s Nadya who solves everyone else’s problems — not the other way around. Can she be blamed for holding something back? For trying to keep herself from being vulnerable in the face of such invulnerability?

Slender fingers brush softer than a feather over Nadya’s skin.

“I anticipated… an uglier sight than this.” The vampiress admits and her voice is strained. The very thought is eating her alive.

“Well, it’s not. And, hey — did I hurt you?” She roams her eyes over every visible inch of the woman. Just because she can’t see anything, though, doesn’t mean nothing is there.

Kamilah can’t stand the sight any longer — regardless of lack of pain or noble intent. She holds back on answering Nadya’s question to bring a hand to her parted lips. The barest flash of pearly white, then red beading like a swollen jewel in compliment with her skin.

Kamilah takes great care in easing the blood over and into her skin; like a fine oil or lotion — something to make Nadya beautiful.

Maybe to a vampire this is beautiful.

The bruising heals rapidly before their eyes; holds Nadya captive in a reel on fast-forward that blooms to purpling blue to mottled red to greenish to yellow then poof. Like it never even happened.

Kamilah strokes the result with a tenderness that should be reserved for fine silks and glittering gold. Should be, Nadya thinks, and yet it’s her that gets that affection; that promise.

Who needs impassioned declarations of love when they could have this?

“I know you mean to ask if you somehow managed to injure me physically while you slept. But when I say I was wounded…” she knows Nadya so so well and keeps her from pulling away by lacing their fingers together, “when I say I was wounded, I do so in the hopes that you’ll understand I will no longer accept mostly-truths.”

She’s regretting saying that the more Kamilah repeats it. “I understand.”

“Best that you do.”

Nadya pushes herself into the woman’s arms in a tight embrace; buries her face into the coolness of her neck and it jostles Nadya’s glasses askew but she couldn’t care less. If she had looked at Kamilah for one more moment she would have broken down.

All this and they still don’t have any answers. They just have more questions and more symptoms and… and more resolve, maybe. But it’s not something they can solve in one night.

And just because Nadya doesn’t remember anything clear from her nightmares doesn’t mean they don’t linger. Something of a shadow in the corner of her eye when she looks in the mirror.

Maybe its time she forces that shadow into the light.

[love-fireflysong]

Day 7: Proposal

Fandom: Until Dawn Character(s): Chris Washington, OC (Toshiaki Ishimura) Words: 1318 Rating: General Author’s Notes: Gonna get this right out of the gate, this isn’t a Chris/OC story. Toshi is actually a character I created to be a classmate of Chris’s for a piece that is still in progress and at this time hasn’t been posted. The reason I’ve decided to use him over any other UD character should hopefully be clear as you read. Also, this is not a style I’ve ever really used, just a warning. Also, this will be the least romantic and most serious fic based around a proposal that you will probably ever read.

Edit: came back to edit, changed the occasional line and added a couple more

“...hey, Toshi?”

“Yeah?”

“Can I ask you a question?”

“Is it about CRUD operations or RESTful APIs?”

“Well, no. But—”

“Then no.”

“.......”

“......”

“..................”

“Fine.”

“What?”

“I’ve been hearing your sticky keys go off like seven times now. Your minds clearly not on the assignment. And it’s a little distracting.”

“Oh. Uh, sorry.”

“So, what’s your question?”

“It’s just, well, um, howdidyouknowwhentherighttimetoproposewas?”

“...yeah, I’m gonna need you to repeat that.”

“Um, how did you know when the right time to propose was?”

“I’m sorry, you were were mumbling a little there. Are you asking me when I proposed?”

“Kinda, yeah.”

“...is this about Ashley?”

“No, it’s about the other girl I’ve been madly in love with since middle school. Of course it’s about Ash!” 

“Settle down, Chris, jeez. I just don’t understand why you’re asking me.”

“I mean, you and Kelly have been engaged for like four years now—”

“Five and a half, but who’s counting.”

“—and I don’t really have anyone else that I could ask.”

“What about your parents?”

“I get the idea that they think that me and Ash have always been this, like, inevitability for them. The moment I ask them they’ll probably get super excited and ask if we plan on kids, when the wedding will be, do I have ring or not—”

“Do you have a ring?”

“Well, no, not yet. But I feel like they’re gonna be overly supportive. You feel me?”

“That’s probably a fair point. Haven’t met any of your family, but even I could tell from the first time you introduced Ash to us that you two were completely head over heels for each other. I can barely imagine what it must have been like watching you two as kids with that same besotted look in your eyes.”

“Gee, thanks.”

“Well, what about that one friend of yours? Josh, I think?”

“He would definitely just tease me. I can already hear him telling me to ‘just go in for the kill!’ and that I’m just chickening out. That it took me nearly ten years just to ask her out, and that it’ll probably take another ten years to ask her to marry me.”

“Lisa? Ryan?”

“Lisa isn’t really the best for things like romance. I mean, she’d support me and listen, but she can’t offer a whole lot in the way of advice. And no offense to Ryan, but he’s had like seven different boyfriends in the past couple of years. And he’s been on-and-off with Jesús for as long as we’ve known him. I get the feeling he’s probably not the best person to ask about serious, long-lasting relationships. So, that left you.”

“Honestly, I’m not the right person to ask either. Kelly proposed to me.”

“No way! Really?”

“Oh yeah, I had just put Juni to bed, and went to the kitchen in order to put her sippy cup back in the fridge. And when I turned around, Kelly was right there kneeling on the kitchen floor with a ring in their hand. Even after they asked, it still took my brain like a minute to connect the dots.”

“Huh.”

“Yeah, one of the best nights of my life. Probably only second to holding Juni in my arms for the first time after she was born. Gotta be honest though, I didn’t realize that you two were that serious.”

“I mean,Ash is the only person I’ve ever really wanted to marry. Has been since before we even got together.”

“And does she know this?”

“What do you mean?”

“Does she know that you want to marry her?”

“I think so?”

“I’m going to need a more concrete answer than that, Chris. It’s a yes or no question. And you need to say it as a statement of fact. You’ve either told her to her face that you want to get married, or you haven’t.”

“Um, yeah. She knows. We’ve talked about it once or twice, mostly as what our plans for the future are. I mean, we’ve never fully discussed it but it’s been pretty implied that we both want a couple of kids in a few more years, once I have a stable job and income and she’s getting money from her books.”

“Alright, that’s a start. Do you know if you’re planning to have a long or short engagement?”

“...that’s a thing we have to worry about?”

“Okay, I’m gonna level with you, Chris. It’s probably a good thing that you came to me first, cause you’re not ready at all to propose.”

“Wait, what? I don’t—”

“Let me finish. Cause if you do propose, if would almost definitely end badly for the both of you. Not right away necessarily, but later down the line. You need to understand something very important here. A proposal is a surprise, an engagement never should be. With an engagement, you need talk things out thoroughly, how long you plan to be engaged, your concrete plans for the future. It’s a process, Chris. And a long one.”

“Oh.”

“I’ll let you in on a secret. I love Kelly with all my heart and soul, but we had only been together barely a year before they got pregnant with Juni. And I was so close to proposing when I found out, and again when she was born. But I didn’t because neither of us were ready for that. I didn’t want them to think that I was only doing so out of obligation, which I would have been, and there was always the chance that I would grow to resent them for taking away my choice of being with someone else. Kelly didn’t propose until we spent months talking about it. Until we agreed that though we loved each other very much, we weren’t ready to get married until I finish getting my computer degree and they finished their oversea’s humanitarian program in Africa. And even then, they didn’t ask propose until Juni was nearly two years old, and we had been together for three.

“And it’s important to talk about how long you want to be engaged for. A lot of shorter engagements end because they can’t handle the stress of planning for a wedding, getting banking accounts set up, changing their tax info, if maybe they should go in for that prenup after all, that maybe they’re moving too fast And just as many longer ones die because both parties start to feel that they other doesn’t want it to happen anymore, that they’re starting to stagnate, that they were moving too slow.

“It’s not that I think you’re not serious about Ashley, or that she’s not serious about you. Because I don’t think that. At all! Any one with half a brain cell can see that you two are madly in love with each other. It’s almost disgusting to be honest. Oh don’t give me that look, you know I’m right. But you two need to talk about this in more depth, more than just future what-ifs. As crass as it is to say, an engagement is a transaction where you both decide if you’re willing to pay what it takes to stay together for the long-run.”

“I-I guess that makes sense.”

“It doesn’t have to be tonight, Chris, or even in this week. Hell, it doesn’t even have to be this month. But you and Ashley need to sit down and talk about it. And it’s gonna take more than one conversation, it’s gonna take a lot of them, and hours upon hours of talking. Do you understand?”

“Yeah. I do. I really, really do love her, I swear.”

“I know that.”

“And I’m serious about wanting to marry her. I can’t think of a single person I would rather spend my life with.”

“That’s good. Now if that’s everything, can we get back to this assignment? These web APIs aren’t gonna manage themselves.”   

[clericbyers]

my last logical braincell: give it up buddy the production team wouldn't put two of the main characters in a gay relationship, be smart and realistic / all my other brain cells, completely unhinged, studied in honk honk university: bylerbylerbyler it's the most valid ending They have to bring this developing relationship to its climax which means Byler

okay me…i flip flop between complete utter confidence in them being the endgame couple and complete utter resignation that it won’t happen. but god I just…watching st1 and momentarily ignoring the fact that other seasons exist has me so hooked on endgame byler bc, god its so obvious Mike loves Will. I rewatched 1x03 yesterday and at the end when Mike yells at El, Lucas says, “Mike, please don’t do this.” and he’s crying and Dustin is too but Mike physically cannot handle being there. He is torn up in a way no one else is, he was shouting, “what is wrong with you” at El, because he can’t handle his own emotions and takes it out on other people (as we see in st1 still when he fights Lucas and shoves Troy and he yells at El) and he can’t handle the utter pain at having his hopes dashed because he was tied to El in order to find Will and in his mind she broke that promise even though he hadn’t broken his promise of keeping her safe.

And Lucas and Dustin probably knew Will was something different for Mike; hell, Dustin called Lucas Mike’s best friend which discounted himself and Will, and while it’s later implied he didn’t include himself because ‘you can’t have more than one best friend’ which Mike cutely called bs on because they are all his best friend, Will wasn’t included in that despite Mike being the most torn up about Will’s disappearance. And Dustin is the most observant about relationships, how he points out that Lucas is mad Mike is putting El over the Party (a theme that carries into ST3 at that), yet he didn’t call Will Mike’s best friend and that’s…that could be said to be because he knows Will and Mike are something different but he can’t say what because what is more than a best friend anyway?? Lucas and Dustin both didn’t go after Mike when he biked away from the lake despite then both protesting his emotional breakdown, much as we see in ST3 when Lucas didn’t go after Mike or Will after Will stormed out.

And just throughout the whole first season, even in the very next episode (1x04), Ted and Karen are watching the news about the body being fished out and Ted says something like, “Should I go down and talk to Michael?” and Karen says, “No, he’ll come to us when he’s ready.” and yes they are talking about Mike dealing with Will’s death, but after 1x02 where Karen talked with Mike about opening up to her about how he’s dealing with Will’s disappearance and how coded that is, the 1x04 conversation has another layer to it. Especially when the very next shot is Mike in the basement longingly looking through his binder of Will’s drawings before he snaps at El for hurting him. It’s not just about Will’s “death”, it’s about Mike’s feelings for Will, too, that become more apparent once Will isn’t in his life anymore.

And that story, that underlying story of Mike struggling to come to terms with Will’s death, his feelings for Will, and consequently projecting them onto someone who is repeatedly mistaken to be a boy (even Will himself), is always gonna be there and dropping it makes no sense at all when it’s a core of the reason why this show even happens. Mike’s love for Will brings him back as much as Joyce and Jonathan’s love (and dedication) for him did. Mike’s love made him disobey Hopper and gather his friends and consequently find El, who does indeed help find Will. That cannot be ignored, it’s in the story, it’s been written and it cannot be erased because this story cannot be told without the integral fact that Mike loves Will. Mike is the most distraught of the kids; we constantly see his reaction to everything unfolding when it comes to Will. He has Will’s drawings on the basement walls and the fact that, when bringing the other seasons into the fold, he still has Will’s drawings on the wall despite having a girlfriend and having Will physically back for the past 8 months and trying to grow out of his childhood interests…that’s very telling.

wow I’m ranting but uhhhhhh…I just, cannot imagine completely derailing from the story of ST so much to discard the obvious path toward Mike and Will coming to terms with their feelings for each other. But despite all the evidence and even what I just talked about here, I hate that I still feel like there’s a chance the side story of this gay romance won’t be resolved by the show’s end. And that’s sad…it’s sad that I have to convince myself this won’t happen despite the contrary evidence because too many times it doesn’t happen but goddamn it’s just, it’s weaved so much into the plot!! Even the fact that ST mirrors the D&D campaigns (esp in ST1) and D&D is the in show analogy for Mike and Will’s relationship proves that their relationship is deeply essential to the show, it cannot be dismissed, and it will be addressed in full.

ST3 does give us minimal byler in comparison to ST2 but I dare to say…ST3 was explicitly showing us Will loves Mike back because ST1 and ST2 already showed us that Mike loves Will. ST3 gave us jealous and pining Will and gave us that argument that reveals Will’s feelings toward Mike. Mike’s trying to get over it by being with El, who he does love and care for but as Lucas said in 1x05, “You’re blind…blind because you like that a girl’s not grossed out by you”. Mike likes the idea of liking El, he likes that El likes him as he’s kept her safe so he pursues her and clings to her, but he’s trying to force something that doesn’t work. Lucas (in 1x05) said “Wake up man! Wake the hell up,” but Mike couldn’t do that. He couldn’t “wake up” and come to terms with the full truth so he merely yelled at Lucas to ‘shut up’ (similar to how in ST3 Mike couldn’t retort against anything Will said until he came at Mike’s relationship with El) and then physically fought him.

In ST3, Mike wouldn’t allow himself to believe in spending the rest of his life with Will; funnily, he was telling Will to wake up in that 3x03 argument as much as Lucas told him to back in ST1, but when Will said, “I guess I did. I really did.” he was, in a way, saying he is already awake. His nightmare was the UD, his nightmare was the MF and the now-memories, but when he woke up from all of that, he was with Mike. He was in the basement playing games with Mike and Mike is still the one who hasn’t woken up, who is still living under some delusion. And that’s when Mike really realizes his feelings were returned and he quite possibly fucked it up. He chases after Will and apologizes but again, the argument was unlike any argument he had with anyone else on the show. Mike yelled at El and Lucas in ST1, he yelled at Hopper in ST2 and ST3, he yelled at Max in ST3, but he never yelled at Will during that argument until he said “It’s not my fault you don’t like girls,” and even then it’s not yelling to the extent he did with others. This was different, this meant something entirely different for him and he wanted to fix it ASAP, asking if Will was okay as he always once he found him at Castle Byers, checking in as he cannot help but do.

And Yeah, Mike spent the rest of the season trying to mend things with El (why not go all out for her then since he feels he ruined what he could have had with Will during that argument, but going all out for her only reveals further his lack of trust in her—sauna scene when he found out she spied, cabin scenes where he argued with Max about her powers, claimed he loved her but couldn’t say it to her face, and then was hesitant to even say yes to her asking him to trust her, supermarket scene where he couldn’t say love to her face) but at the end!! they are still awkward !! He still lied to her by saying he didn’t know what he said in the cabin!! Their friendship is safe but their romance is gone !! but Mike and Will? Using D&D to establish the change in their relationship, to confess and show that Mike has to make a move because Mike has always made the first move with Will, but Will is gonna be receptive because he knows it’s reciprocated now.

oh my god I just….there’s too much evidence I cannot imagine this all gets tossed to the side. I guess I’m in one of my “I have high hopes” moods while answering this ask haha

[two-sides-samecoin]

About your recent post:

1. Steve

2. Eddie

3. Steddie

4. Stancy

Steve:

Steve is my favorite character and he’s my comfort character at this point. I honestly just love him so much. He’s so pure and sweet. He’s just a character/person who wants to do good and succeeds. He just wants to help out people even if that person isn’t that kind to him. He takes on different roles throughout the show and just goes along with it. Also his freak outs are the best lol. I just wish that the duffers put more thought into him besides just being a love interest or the babysitter. Honestly steve means a lot to me and idk how to describe it into words. I would like to see more of Steve’s guilt surrounding a lot of things and his trauma. Honestly I can go on and on about Steve but also my mind is only doing this rn: 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰💖💖💖💖💖💖

Eddie:

Honestly I want to like Eddie, but I just can’t. I didn’t like him in the first episode that much. Because of the way he treats the kids. Eddie doesn’t tell Lucas what is happening about the game. Also dustin and Mike were very hesitant to even ask Eddie to change the date of the DnD game. Despite them clearly only wanting to go cuz they want to support their friend. Eddie does get better on throughout the episodes but I just can’t change that image of him that he had on me.

Steddie

I honestly don’t care for the relationships at all. It honestly just seems so bland. And the fact that it gets shoved everywhere and people don’t know how to tag: it just frustrates me at this point. I just don’t care for the ship and wish it wasn’t as popular as it’s become.

Stancy:

Honestly their dynamic in season 1 and 2 fascinates me. And it’s not cuz I think that they were good for one another but quite the opposite actually. They’re so interesting because they were doomed from the start. Even before the ud you can see how easily they are doomed. Nancy does not take their relationship as a serious thing. To her it’s just freedom and having fun and enjoying the attention that Steve gives her (and there’s nothing wrong with that). However, steve does take it very seriously. Because while he is having fun and inviting her to parties: he is also going the extra step to impress her. He wants her to like him and be be impressed by him. And another thing that I find fascinating is that both times their relationship ends because of a party. In season 1, Barb died at the end of their party meanwhile steve and Nancy have sex so the relationship is already stained/ruined. But their second party also ends up going badly. Instead of it being a fun night at first to both of them, it’s a night that they’re both pretending to have a fun time. And later it ends with wine (the color of red which could symbolize blood bringing back barb’s death) ends up spilling on Nancy’s shirt. And they both get into an argument and both of them are miserable. Honestly, stancy just fascinates me cuz their relationship was doomed from the start. However, I do not like anything that the duffers did in season 4 with them. But I also won’t get too into that because it’s a whole rant lol

[tiniest-hands-in-all-the-land]

Can you tell us about your Until Dawn au?

Gladly! It’s not anything spectacular, but it’s a fun idea totinker around with, anyways ^^

So it’s basically just Until Dawn with all the UD charactersreplaced with the Pokemon characters and a few changes to the storyto fit around the world of pokeani, with the character roles going asfollows:

Ash - Josh

Misty - Sam

Brock - Mike

May - Ashley/Chris (interchangeably, ‘cause in some instances I want her to be in Ashley’s position, and in others, Chris’s, for reasons I’ll get into in a bit)

Dawn - Jessica

Jessie - Emily

James - Matt

Meowth - Chris/Ashley (same thing as May)

Pikachu - technically serving both the positions of Hannah and Beth, but namely Hannah

and then the old flamethrower man dude can be like an older, rugged Officer Jenny who’s long since retired lol

Oh, I should probably mention that everyone is in their 20′s orolder at the time of this au. Also, since I came up with this aubefore I watched XY (and I never bothered with BW whoops),unfortunately those travel companions will not be there. So let’sjust say, for the convenience of the story, that they had otherarrangements and couldn’t make it

From here on out, this is gonna get super LONG, and super SPOILERYFOR UNTIL DAWN. So if you don’t know jack diddly about UD, and youdon’t want to be spoiled, I’d recommend holding off on reading thisfor now. So I’m gonna put the rest under a read more so I ain’tclogging up anyone’s dash with my dumb au

So basically, instead of a bunch of rowdy college kids staying upat a cabin to party and sex each other all day and all night, it’sgonna basically be like this:

Ash won a pokemon league and became a pokemon master (finally),and won a cabin on top of Mount Silver…? I think was the place Iwanted him at…?

ANYWAYS, he’s celebrating, all his friends are there (at leastthe ones I mentioned above), they’re all having a fun dandy time,and eventually Ash conks out from exhaustion. During this time, whoelse but Team Rocket decides to stick their noses where they don’tbelong in hopes of ‘congratulating’ Ash by means of stirringup trouble and capturing Pikachu. (they do mean well, and they areactually super happy for him, butchaknow–they’re kinda the mastersat fucking things up royally)

As they’re trying to make their epic getaway, though, thesnowstorm outside blows them way off course, and they end up droppingPikachu just before they crash into the trees. They’re all fine,Pikachu included, but Pikachu’s a far ways away from the cabin now,and has to try and make it back on his own, cause the others sure asfuck ain’t gonna find him in this weather

On the way, though, some monstrosity catches sight of him andchases him to the edge of a cliff. Pikachu ends up falling off (Withthe old Officer Jenny trying to save him and failing), but hesurvives the fall. Unfortunately, he has no way of letting the othersknow of his location, since he’s so far out and so far down intothe depths of the mountain, so he’s deemed missing by theauthorities

Fast forward a year, and suddenly Ash is inviting everyone (TeamRocket included) back up to the cabin to celebrate the memory of hismissing/probably dead best friend. Everyone is a bit unsettled goingback, but go anyways, if only just to try and help out Ash in any waythey can. 

A couple problems they notice through the night, though, are 1.Their pokeballs don’t seem to work (Ash claims that cell towersrecently put up on the mountain are messing with the technology) and2. There seems to be a certain bloodthirsty killer up on the mountainwith them :o

Throughout the night, the eight are eventually split up intopairs, partly because of their own volition, and partly because ofTeam Rocket being there and causing suspicion. For instance, Dawn haslike zero sympathy for the Trio and doesn’t want anything to dowith them, so Brock takes her up to the guest cabin. Jessie and Jamesgo out on their own (either exploring or James forgot a bag orsomething, I haven’t decided). Meowth doesn’t deem it necessaryto accompany them (the trip there wore him out, he claims–inreality, he’s just fucking lazy), so he sticks around with May,Misty, and Ash.

AND THAT’S WHEN SHIT GOES DOWN

Dawn and Brock are the first to be attacked, unbeknownst to theothers, and Dawn is presumed to be dead by Brock (shes fine tho) bythe time he reaches her. He then goes on a quest to find theperson(?) who hurt his friend to bring the great fist of JUSTICE downon them. The quest leads him through an abandoned pokemon hospitalwith a very shady past (which, admittedly, I haven’t put too muchthought into), and also delves into the mysterious transformation ofpokemon who have died into a very vicious and hostile ghost-typepokemon that has only ever been spotted on the mountain (and you cansee where this is going for a certain mouse pokemon who has beenmissing for over a year)

Back at the cabin, Misty takes a bath, and Ash, May, and Meowthplay with the spooky spirit board that tells them that Pikachu’sdisappearance was no accident, but was actually planned (which makesMeowth suuuuper uncomfortable and guilty). So Ash has anunderstandable reaction to this thing that he believes the other twohave made up in some attempt to make him feel better (?), and May andMeowth eventually get knocked the fuck out by Mr. Spooky Clown Man.

May wakes up a little later and finds that Ash and Meowth are bothmissing. After some searching, she finds them in a shed outside, bothtied to a wall with a buzzsaw aimed right at them. Mr. Spooky ClownMan comes over the intercom and tells May that she can only save oneof them from being ripped in two. So she’s sobbing cause shedoesn’t want to have to make this decision, Meowth’s sobbingbecause he knows that he ain’t the one she’s gonna choose, andAsh is sobbing because LOLL WHOOPS EVEN THOUGH MAY CHOOSES TO SAVEASH, SHE ENDS UP SAVING MEOWTH BECAUSE THE BUZZSAW SAYS SO

So uh. May’s super traumatized and heartbroken about watchingone of her best friends getting killed. But. She’s also growing ateensy bit suspicious of Meowth, seeing as how she distinctly choseto save Ash instead of him, and how Jessie and Jamesare conveniently away from the area during theattack and show up conveniently after said attack.So in her mind, she comes up with this elaborate hypothetical schemethat she believes the Rockets are planning, and tries to take theinitiative in stopping said plans by keeping Meowth along with herwhile she tells Jessie and James to go find help (under the guisethat she’s keeping Meowth with her as insurance that they don’tgo ditching everyone).

Jessie and James go on a little adventure over the mountains afterdiscovering that their balloon has mysteriously been torn to shredsand all the fuel has been mysteriously emptied out. After discoveringthat the cable car house leading up to the cabin is in shambles, thetwo come across a radio tower. They manage to get a hold of somehelp, but that’s when the tower decides to suddenly keel over andtrap them in the mines, oh fun!! In the mines, Jessie is holding onfor dear life to the rail of the tower, and James tries to pull herup, but can’t reach her. He asks if she trusts him, and that hebelieves he will have a better chance at reaching her from the ledgebehind her. She hesitantly says yes, and allows him to jump, but thejump is the last bit of force needed to send the tower tumbling tothe abyss, Jessie along with it. YOU CAN IMAGINE HOW FUCKINGDISTRAUGHT JAMES IS.

Jessie’s fine tho. Turns out she got caught in the wires duringthe fall, and manages to make it to safety afterwards. Then she goeson a spectacular, fun filled adventure through the mines discovering bits and pieces asto what happened to Pikachu after he went missing, and also runninginto Rugged Ol’ Jenny.

May keeps her suspicions to herself until the very end of the Mr.Spooky Clown Man escapades, where they’re both put into anotherdeath trap, and Meowth ends up being the one with the gun. Then itall comes out, and you can imagine how pleased Meowth is to hear thatthe only reason May separated him from his friends and quite possiblygot both of his friends killed during this horrific night was becausethat she thought they devised this whole thing.

THEEENN THE TRUTH COMES OUT, AND MR.SPOOKY CLOWN MAN IS ACTUALLY ASH, WHO’S APPARENTLY LOST HIS SHITAFTER LOSING PIKACHU. SO UM. HE’S FUCKING PISSED AT TEAM ROCKET FORTAKING PIKACHU AND PROBABLY GETTING HIM KILLED. AND HE’S ALSO FUCKINGPISSED THAT HIS FRIENDS DID PRETTY MUCH NOTHING TO HELP PIKACHU.

IT’S DURING THIS TIME THAT MISTY ANDBROCK MEET UP WITH EACH OTHER, THEN MEET UP WITH THOSE THREE.

YOU CAN IMAGINE HOW FINE AND DANDYEVERYONE IS TO HEAR THAT THEY’VE JUST BEEN THROUGH THE WORST NIGHT OFTHEIR LIVES JUST FOR A STUPID PRANK THAT ASH DECIDES TO PULL ON THEMIN A SICK FORM OF REVENGE.

Anyhoo, Brock breaks the news thatDawn’s fucking dead (supposedly), he and Misty decide that Ash is notallowed to be on his two feet for the rest of the night until helparrives, and Meowth decides, ‘fuck you guys, you’re all awful, immago find my friends’

During which time, Jessie manages tomake it back to the cabin after being attacked by the Hostile GhostPokemon, and Rugged Ol’ Jenny is not far behind, quite literallycarrying Meowth back with her, cause 'nah you’re not allowed to beout on your own at this time of night—dontcha know there bemonsters?’

Annnnnnnnnnd the rest of the storybasically pans out just like how Until Dawn pans out.

SORRY THIS WAS SO LONG. I JUST NEEDEDTO PUT IN MY CHANGES IN ORDER FOR EVERYTHING TO MAKE SENSE. BUT YEAH.THAT’S MY DUMB UNTIL DAWN AU.

I partly reallllllly wanna write itout, but also—that would require writing out and reworking thebackstory  of the penitentiary/mines. And also somehow incorporatinga sense of choice in the story. Which I don’t think I have the skillto do lol

I have some ideas about possibleoutcomes, such as what it’s like if a character dies, if some die butnot others, if no one dies, or the emotional and eventual impact ofsaid deaths (for example, if Brock shoots Jessie after discoveringthat she has been bitten by Hostile Ghost Pokemon, Meowth will be soovercome with shock and grief and anger that he’ll lose allsensibility and rational thought, which will eventually lead to hisown demise at the hands of a Hostile Ghost Pokemon mimicking James’svoice; versus if Brock doesn’t shoot her, and both Rockets are justsuper livid and untrusting of the twerps for the rest of the nightand Meowth has enough sense to make good decisions about suspiciousJames-sounding monstrosities), but I won’t put y'all through any moreof that lol

While I don’t plan on having this beingsuper shippy, I plan to have mentions/small discussions ofPokeshipping pining (possibly, haven’t decided whether I want thisone or not), Lustshipping, Contestshipping, Appealshipping,Rocketshipping pining, and Krazyshipping pining (lol whoops)

I also have a couple other au’s withinthe au, one of which Meowth takes the position of Beth and fallsalong with Pikachu at the beginning, and another where Pikachu iswith the group and someone completely different falls. But both ofthose au’s are very underdeveloped; this is the only one I’ve put any real thought into lol

but yeah. I think I’ve said all I cansay about this. It’s a dumb idea, but I think putting charactersthrough horrible situations is a great way to explore their psycheand toy around with what kind of decisions they might make instrenuous situations. Or at least I like to tell myself that in orderto justify myself for putting my favorite characters through absolutehell and back.

[love-fireflysong]

Well hellooo!!! For the meta asks: 2, 4, 20? :D

Well hello to you too darling!

2. Tell us about what you’re most looking forward to writing – in your current project, or a future project.

Oh man. It's pratically ages away yet, but in the one I've been trying to write for months now, the scene at the very end of the fic. It's just Chris and Ash in his car finally talking about what happened between them at about the middle point of the fic (which I still haven't gotten to). I have got that particular car scene planned the fuck out man. I have lines, descriptions, emotions. I have got it all. It's pretty much the one scene I go through over and over in my head before bed. The only reason none of it is written out, is because I'm a writer that has to go in order. I can't write out an end scene if I'm at the beginning. It has to be done procedurely or not at all with me.

4. Share a sentence or paragraph from your writing that you’re really proud of (explain why, if you like).

Is it weird that despite the fact, I've written like 30 new fics in the last month that absolutely nothing is coming to mind? I've honestly blanked on everything I've ever written except two particular descriptions: both scenes from Baby It's Cold Outside (so hold me tight in your arms and don't let go)

Trailing his eyes back up from the bunched up sleeves though, he felt the pleasant flips harden and then sink like a rock to the base of his stomach at the sight of her face.

Specifically, the dark bruise of her swollen eye from where Josh had punched her.

I'm not even sure why I like this one so much honestly. I just do. But I know exactly why I love the next one so much.

Chris could feel the moment his brain short-circuited and he shut down. All systems were on stand-by and he couldn't do anything until it rebooted. So he just sat there, sitting on the couch, hands on Ashley's waist, her lips on his jaw, because this had just happened and his brain wasn't working.

Unsurprisingly, I do most of my fic brainstorming when I'm at work. I just do my job and start daydreaming and plotting. How much of the scene stays with me when I get home is another thing entirely, but this is one that stayed with me for weeks until I finally got to the scene in question. I was so fucking ecstatic when I realized that I could do this part and describe Chris's BSOD with computer terms. One of the few times I've actually be proud of my descriptions!

20. Tell us the meta about your writing that you really want to ramble to people about (symbolism you’ve included, character or relationship development that you love, hidden references, callbacks or clues for future scenes?)

Oh man. I'm a writer that loves to throw in little Easter eggs when ever I can. Makes me feel like I'm a better writer than I actually am. I don't know. But god I have sooooo many that Im not sure if people caught or not. You could name a fic and I would pull out a random phrase that I included. Like what I wrote for Winter is Death: the entire reason Hannah runs around in only her underwear in the game when the rest of the miners still had their clothes, is because she turned while suffering from the end stages of hyperthermia and had started to strip.

In Shift, Change, Repeat I tried to add little hints that Ash was fully 100% aware that she was petting Chris's head when it was in her lap. She was just so busy trying to make it appear that she was absorbed in her book that she missed that Chris had caught on, but not onto her.

In Say Goodbye to the Rest of Me (the Best of Me) the reason I was so insistent that the only time Hannah ever broke her leg was when falling out of the tree, is because it wasn't. Josh would just never know that she had broken the same leg nearly ten years later after falling from the cliff. Also made a mention of a fight he got in with another boy, AKA the incident at school that got him referred to another therapist.

And in A Photo's Worth a Thousand Words (or one really good blackmail), Josh had begun missing so much school due to nausa and headaches. This was because I placed it at the point where the side effects of his meds were starting to become too severe and he was about to change them near the beginning of 2010.

I love putting in little lesser known call backs to the game. The time I spend on the clues page of the UD wiki is frankly terrifying.