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heavenbarnes · 4 years ago

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what’s your poison?

Bucky Barnes x Female Reader

Warnings/Contains: a cheating ex boyfriend, alcohol, unprotected sex (please use protection), oral sex (female receiving), handjob, dirty talk, swearing, joking during sex cause i’m fun, pulling out onto stomach, bucky has a dog, new zealand english cause i wrote the start on my phone

Word Count: 5.5k

if you try and tell me you’ve never fallen in love with your bartender before, i hope you know you’re a liar! anyways, this is fun and it doesn’t mean anything so enjoy (so i guess this is technically an au, but could also not be cause there is references to in-canon shit) x

You wouldn’t say you were proud of finding solace in a bar, especially not one with those tacky red neons and a floor sticky enough to have you frozen in place.

But here you are, perched up on that high stool by the window, notebook spread open in front of you with a pen resting on your lower lip.

Funny thing about heartbreak, the world doesn’t stop moving around you, even when you wish it did. So when you come home to your roommate fucking your boyfriend, you still have to live in that house cause finding rentals is near impossible.

And when living in that house feels damn suffocating, you have to sit in the bar down the street doing the work that is kicking your ass, because people don’t stop filing reports when your heart gets broken.

Wasn’t the first time the world made it blaringly obvious that it didn’t revolve around you, but sometimes the ignorance is bliss.

Scribbling out yet another data set, you knew your life wasn’t about to get any easier, but even you had to admire your own perseverance. So did Astrid, the sweet waitress that was swapping your empty glass with a full one.

You smiled at her, picking up the drink and giving it a sniff, screwing your nose up slightly. “You’re very kind but this smells strong and I’m still working.”

“It wasn’t me, I’m just the messenger,” She returned your smile as she cleaned the little drops of soda from your last drink. “Bucky figured you needed it by the look on your face.”

Casting a glance over Astrid’s shoulder you caught eyes with the bartender, the one who’d already been looking at you but turned away once you caught his eye. You lent him a smile nonetheless, just in case he was looking.

Stirring the drink with your paper straw, you came in to take a sip, immediately feeling the flavours flood over your tongue. Bucky was onto something, you definitely needed this and about 17 others after it.

“Tell him I say thank you.” You gave her a sheepish little grin as you took another sip of his creation.

The thing about Bucky was, he didn’t say a hell of a lot but he was a god with his hands. Not like that, like when he was shaking cocktails. But you were sure he was probably good in that way too.

Six foot three and broad in just about every way, long hair and that brooding kind of look on his face. He might’ve been the reason you picked this bar out of the ten or so others littering the stretch.

He’d quietly mix your drinks with those large hands (even his prosthetic hand was big, dark metal glinting under the neon lights), always making you exactly what you needed. Sometimes, if you timed it right, you could see him watching you out of the corner of your eye.

That should’ve been weird, quiet guy that won’t even introduce himself to you watches you from across a bar. But Bucky made it different, something in you liked the way he stared.

Astrid had been the only one you told about your now ex-boyfriend, but from your hospitality experience, word spreads quick behind a bar. You didn’t mind, it got you free drinks and kindness from the other waitresses as they swirled around you.

Beanie, who was studying business on the side, would sit with you as you worked out your spreadsheets. She asked you mountains of questions that never got annoying, felt nice to be valued around here.

Every day that you left work, you’d sneak back to your apartment, avoiding your roommate by timing it with when you knew she’d be at the gym. Quickly changing your clothes, you slipped back out into the city and headed for the bar.

You kept it quiet with where you spent your evenings, not wanting your boss to think you had a problem with all your time spent there. But you knew that it was very seldom there was actually alcohol in your drinks, mainly just new mocktails Bucky was trialing and testing on you.

That’s how the two of you communicated, he’d make a drink, a waitress would bring it over, you’d sample it and she’d feed the feedback back to him. A rather outdated system that could be solved by you both picking up your nuts and speaking to one another.

But that’d mean hearing each other’s voice, incredibly intimate when you’ve drawn it out this long. You’d have to have something to talk about, be alone in each other’s presence, admit that there was-

Now what was there?

Every night of every week you were there until closing, walking with Astrid to her car, Bucky trailing a few steps behind the both of you. He wouldn’t say it out loud, but he was making sure you both made it safely. As soon as you both got in, he climbed on his motorcycle and wouldn’t see him again until the next evening.

The moment Astrid dropped you at your apartment, you’d sneak inside, thanking the gods that your roommate was asleep so you didn’t have any awkward hallway interactions. Instead, you lay in the centre of your bed and strangely enough, you thought of your bartender without a voice to even put to the man.

The next evening you were there, you found your mind straying from the work in front of you and heading into the conversation of the waitresses floating around you.

“No, but she’s like gorgeous,” Beanie groaned, putting her notepad in the pocket of her apron. “Bucky is so lucky, she’s just a dream.”

Your ears pricked up at the sound of his name being dropped, and without being able to control it, you found yourself travelling to a million different realities. Of course he had a girlfriend, a man that looks like that and makes a Singapore Sling that good cannot be single.

There was truly no reason to be sad right now, he wasn’t yours and never was. But maybe you enjoyed him paying special attention to you, especially after what the last guy did to you. Astrid did tell you that Bucky was a bit stone cold sometimes, he never used this special treatment on anyone else.

So here you were thinking you were special, and here was the universe pulling you into line again, reminding you in no uncertain terms that the world didn’t revolve around you.

You drank Bucky’s mew mocktails, but they didn’t taste as fun when you knew they weren’t genuine. Sure maybe the care was genuine, but there wasn’t anything behind it. You screwed up your face when you heard your own thoughts, you sounded like an actual fuckboy right now.

Gone are the days of alarmingly handsome men being able to gift a Moscow Mule in peace, no sex attached. You just had to go and set the women’s rights movement back a few years.

You scolded yourself silently, taking another sip of the drink and enjoying Bucky’s talents. You weren’t even in the headspace for a new man at the moment, so where were you getting off hoping the guy was single?

Lifting your head towards the bar, you found those blue eyes back on you. He stuttered for a moment, realising he’d been caught staring, so he lifted his eyebrow almost to say “what do you think?”

A smile formed on your face of its own accord, lifting your hand into a thumbs up you mouthed back “pretty damn good.”

And for the first time since you’d been coming here, you saw it. You saw the corners of Bucky’s pretty lips turn up into a smile as he nodded, looking awful proud of himself.

God damn it, your brain knew you weren’t ready but your heart didn’t seem to give a fuck.

Another night at the bar and as you came inside, your eyes went to your normal seat, only to find somebody already sitting in it. After a long day at work, you couldn’t help the childish groan drift out of your lips.

“I know,” Astrid caught you mid grumble as she started walking you over. “But there is a seat right here at the bar.”

Putting you in a stool, she wiped down the surface in front of you so you could lay out your papers to keep working. She gave your shoulders a squeeze and happened to hit the right spot, maybe it was her girlfriend you needed to be jealous of.

As she went to leave you be, you heard her call over her shoulder. “Bucky, she’s here.”

Your head snapped up, heat rising in your cheeks as Astrid scurried away to serve her tables. From the service door, a large frame took all of it up as Bucky appeared before you.

Watching the way his eyes scanned the room, they fixed on the spot you usually sat at before his brow furrowed in confusion. It wasn’t until his gaze drifted down and caught you at the bar, he nearly jumped in fright.

If you didn’t know any better, you’d think Astrid tells him when you arrive every night, like it’s something he looks forward to. You gave him a smile and a pathetic little wave as you tried to calm yourself down. The man has a girlfriend, he isn’t waiting for you.

Bucky smiled back, seemingly looking just as nervous as you felt. He quickly raised one finger, as if asking you to wait, before he spun around and started grabbing different bottles from the back shelf.

As you watched him work, you smelt a breeze of perfume drift past you, one that had become familiar. You reached out and grabbed Beanie by the wrist, deciding now was the best time to put yourself out of your misery.

“Bucky’s girlfriend must be the luckiest person on earth, with a man who makes drinks like that.”

Beanie scrunched up her nose in confusion, looking between the two of you.

“Girlfriend? You know something I don’t?”

You studied her gaze, matching that look of lacking in understanding.

“He must have a girlfriend, right?”

“Oh, the only woman in Bucky’s life is his dog, Daybreak,” She laughed, turning on her heel to leave. “You should see her, she’s gorgeous.”

A dog, a fucking dog. You’ve been stewing every night for about a week over a fucking dog. A curt laugh slipped past your lips and you didn’t even try to stop it, top tier stupidity and you actually deserved it.

Bucky turned to look over his shoulder, caught off guard by your chuckle as he’d missed the whole conversation over the noise of the bar. He just smiled, stirring the glass in front of him before sliding it across to you.

Sniffing it first, like you always did, it smelt heavenly like winter mint. Taking the first sip, it went down ridiculously well and you nodded in content before flashing Bucky a thumbs up. He placed his right hand over his heart nodding back to you. Your silent communication always said enough.

Bucky made you two more of those minty little things as you kept studying your spreadsheets. The bar patrons moved around you as the hours ticked on and you were so enveloped in your work it made you jump when you heard your name.

That and the voice that the word floated off of.

Turning in your stool, your ex boyfriend stood before you with his hands clasped together. Shaking your head, you went to spin back around but he stepped forward, hand reaching for your upper arm.

“I know you don’t want to see me but please let me explain.”

“Normally I’d say ‘fuck off’, but I’d love to hear an explanation for how you ended up fucking my roommate.”

He grimaced at the sound of you throwing his mistake back in his face. But truthfully, if he didn’t like the sound of it, maybe he shouldn’t have cheated.

“I know I fucked up, it was so stupid but it didn’t mean anything.”

“When did it stop meaning something? The third time? Maybe the 15th time? Please, enlighten me.”

A part of him seemed shocked, that you weren’t folding like a hand of cards and letting him take you home. Stupid boy should’ve realised you were a whole person before he met you, you’d go on without him.

“Alright, I know I deserve all this but I just want my baby back.”

You almost responded, your mouth opened to say something- anything, but someone else cut you to the chase.

“Your baby back? This isn’t Ruby-fucking-Tuesday’s, but you’re more than welcome to get the hell out of my bar.”

Turning behind you, you saw large hands gripping the wooden legs, squared up and unafraid. It didn’t register with you that this was the first time you’d heard Bucky’s voice until it was too late. A shiver shifted down your spine as you watched the way he stared the other man down.

“And who the hell are you?” Your ex had always been stupid, never knew when to stop running his mouth and keep it away from other girls.

“I’m the one that’s been keeping ‘your baby’ company each night since you fucked up so bad.”

Not to set the women’s rights movement back another few years, but there was something quite lovely about being fought over. Picking your drink back up, you sipped it slowly as you watched Bucky refuse to back down.

“You don’t know the first thing about her.”

“I know she’s far too smart to be wasting her time with you, so I won’t say it again, get the hell out of my bar.”

Your ex looked to you, stupidly thinking he’d find reprieve with you. Shrugging your shoulders and turning your gaze to Bucky you finally spoke. “This is delicious, you really are gifted.”

And with his tail tucked between his legs, you watched your ex trudge out of the bar, silently hoping that would be the last time you saw his sorry ass.

The only thing about him leaving was the silence that now sat between yourself and Bucky, having to come to terms with the fact your quiet little knowings have now become incredibly loud.

Still sipping away at your drink, thankfully Bucky found the notion to speak first. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to get involved-“

Thinking he was finished you spoke up. “Please don’t apologise, I loved it.” As you were speaking, he finished with, “I really care about you.”

That shut the both of you up, back to quiet as you looked at each other across the bar. Patrons kept milling about around you but the world seemed to stop for you. In your own head, you asked for a sign, a sign that you should risk it all.

Bucky’s tongue came out to run across his lower lip and you swore you saw stars.

That wouldn’t normally stand as a sign but you were fine with a reach, you’d already decided he could’ve sneezed and that would work.

“You know, uh,” You cleared your throat, placing down your now empty glass. “I’ve always wondered what it was like to be on a motorcycle.”

Bucky nodded slowly in understanding, pulling the rag off his shoulder and placing it against the counter. “I’ve always wanted to show you what it’s like.”

“What time do you clock off?”

“Now, now’s good.”

The sound of your stool scraping against the wood floor drew Astrid’s gaze up as she moved through the crowd between the tables. Stopping beside your usual spot, she stood beside the man who’d taken your seat that night.

“Thank you, Albert,” She passed him the twenty dollar note. “It was about time they got moving.”

There was something incredibly intimate about being within close proximity of Bucky, let alone having him sat between your legs as your arms closed even tighter around his waist. You swore he zipped in and out of traffic on that bike just so you’d get even closer, and you were reasonably thankful for it.

Going from only hearing his voice moments before to being so close to him you could smell the Calvin Klein aftershave? There was a lot going on and it was enough to make your head spin. So you chose to relax into him, as much as you could with the helmet locked around your head.

You were nearly going to pout when you arrived at his house, but the moment he stretched his hand out to take yours and walk you in, he wasn’t leaving you with much to feel sorry about.

Now, there are many dangers about walking into a single man’s apartment, mainly the state it could be in. Bucky’s was beautiful, dark furniture and well looked after, everything was tidy and it actually smelt nice. You’d think he was straight out of the 40′s with manners and charm like this.

As you gazed around in awe of the first male apartment you’d been in without a fist-sized hole in the wall, you felt something brush against your legs. Looking down, you found a husky nearly at your hip height, bright blue eyes like her dad’s.

“Daybreak, go easy on her.” Bucky sounded from the kitchen, he’d already made his way in and started fishing around.

“That’s okay, you’re even more beautiful than I was told.” You cooed, your voice immediately catering just for her as you scratched around her ears.

“They told you about her?” Bucky chuckled as he worked, two highball glasses in front of him and a dark liquor starting to pour.

Your cheeks glowed hot as you thought about whether or not you should tell him of your monumental fuck up from earlier. Maybe he’d laugh? Or maybe he’d think you were a sociopath? Better to get it out now you supposed.

“I heard them talking, and I thought they were referring to your girlfriend, so they just cleared that up for me.” You caught Daybreak’s eye, busying yourself with her so you couldn’t see the gorgeous man stood a metre away and laughing at you.

“Yes, my incredibly fluffy girlfriend with disgusting breath and a habit of standing on my back when I sleep.” He shook his head, squeezing lime into the glass along with what you thought might’ve been bitters.

“Hey, whatever you’re into, I’m not going to judge!” You put your hands up in defense before going back to fluffing Daybreak’s coat.

Bucky stirred the drinks before sliding one across the counter top to you. Raising back up, you gratefully accepted it as he began to speak again. “You weren’t jealous were you?”

Your eyes widened, thinking on it for a moment with as much expression as possible. Avoiding the question entirely, you took a sip, feeling the warm ginger taste roll through you.

“What do you call this one?”

“Answer my question and I’ll tell you.”

Narrowing your eyes, you bit the bullet. “I might’ve been a little jealous.”

“This one is called a ‘howling commando’, why were you jealous?”

“Raunchy name, I love it! What was the other minty one called?”

Bucky’s grin widened as he knew exactly what game you were playing, he couldn’t deny he was looking forward to a little tussle.

“Answer my question and I’ll tell you, those are the rules.”

You scrunched up your nose before giving in, he was hot and he had rules, there was simply no denying this man. “Maybe because you make me want to do very bad things to you.”

Bucky’s jaw went slack, but the corners of his mouth tweaked up into a smile as he thought carefully on his next move.

“The minty one is called a ‘winter soldier’, can you tell me what those very bad things are?”

Wrapping your lips around your paper straw, you kept your eyes closely fixed on his as you shrugged your shoulders. You drew back, letting the straw rest in the centre of your tongue as he followed your movements with intrigue.

“Or maybe I could just show you?”

With a swift movement, Bucky cleared the table with one hand and the other snaked around your waist, pulling you tight to his chest. You felt his lips glide across yours, as soft as you’d imagined and that bite of alcohol resting just past them.

Your hands came up to fist at his shirt, tugging him down so you could slip your tongue in and against his. He brought his other hand down to rest just behind your knee, picking you up in a swift motion and placing you against his kitchen counter.

Legs locking around him, you pulled him in as you gripped at his flannel over shirt to push it off his shoulders. Bucky took the hint, stripping the shirt off before getting onto his t-shirt. He stood before you bare-chested and beautiful, so much so that your breath caught in your throat.

A hint of a smirk started on his face but you shook your head, not prepared to let him have the joy of catching you off guard. You took his jaw in your hands and brought him back to your lips, reveling in the feeling of him on you.

Feeling his hands go for your waistband, you lifted your hips to let him get rid of your bottoms, the cold of kitchen tile against the backs of your thighs.

“You are so fucking beautiful, been thinking of you since the day you walked into my bar.”

Giggling into his mouth, you ran your hands down his neck and into the hair at the nape, tugging slightly. “I could say the same about you, pretty boy.”

You could’ve sworn Bucky growled, but you weren’t given enough time to dwell on it as he began to ease you back until you lay against the counter. His fingers went to the band of your underwear, slowly easing those down your legs.

Here you were, spread out in this mans kitchen like dinner and he was going to eat his share. A shiver ran through you that you could pinpoint to excitement as you felt his breath gently ghost over you.

His hands ran from your thighs all the way up to the hem of your shirt, sliding it up your body and underneath to palm at your chest. You knew he had big hands, it was one of the first things you noticed, but you weren’t prepared for how good they’d feel when he held you.

The moment you felt his mouth come down against your pussy, your whole back arched off the bench. You gripped at his forearms, nails digging in slightly as you rolled your lower half into his mouth. His tongue came out, running along your slit and moving against your clit.

You’d definitely been swindled into a shit deal with your ex, it never felt anything like this and Bucky had only just started. His name fell out of your throat as his tongue sped up, moving back down to your entrance and making your eyes nearly rolled back in your head.

Bucky pulled back one of his hands for only a moment so he could hook your legs over his shoulders, before he grabbed back at your breasts. The contrast between the rough skin of his fingers tweaking at your nipple, and the smooth metal on the other was driving you wild.

“How are you so good at this, what the fuck?” You babbled, back going up against as he flicked the tip of his tongue at your clit.

He chuckled into you, the sounds vibrating off of where you were most sensitive and hitting you straight in the core. You’d never had a man pay this much attention to you, know exactly where to go and what to do. It was damn near overwhelming and this was the bare minimum, god you’d been missing out.

Bringing one hand down, he pressed two fingers to your clit as his tongue moved back down. The pressure of his skilled digits against you and the speed of his tongue, you were doing your best to cry out his name but it wasn’t coming out right. Your brain couldn’t keep up with everything else.

Pressing your foot into his shoulder, you slipped your hand into his hair, locking into the roots and tugging tight against them. A moan fell out of Bucky and straight against you, rocking your pussy up against his lips. You had to forget everything you thought you knew about men.

This was a man and he was going to change your life.

He swapped his fingers, slowly sliding them into you as his tongue moved back to your clit. The minute he bent those metal digits up, still pumping his wrist and working his mouth, it was all over.

You clenched down around him, his name flew high into the air as you shook against him, your wetness covering his chin as he moved to lap it up. Like a good boy, he let you get your breath, pulling back and cleaning off his fingers with his tongue.

“Don’t do that in front of me, you’ll make my heart stop.” You joked, throwing your arm over your eyes.

Bucky chuckled, taking a knee in each hand where you’d clamped your thighs together, slowly easing them apart. He tugged you along the bench until your legs were wrapped around him again.

“I can’t believe I just came, and that hard.” You admitted, finally able to cope with it all.

“That’s kind of the point, pretty baby.”

“Yeah but you haven’t even?”

The soft little patterns Bucky was tracing on your thigh came to a halt, almost making you whinge. He looked down at you with an expression of pure confusion before speaking up.

“Wait, did your ex never make you come during foreplay?”

“Are you kidding?” You snorted, propping yourself up on elbows. “He barely made me come during sex.”

Bucky shook his head, looking physically wounded by what you were telling him. “Oh baby, this isn’t even for pleasure anymore, this is an act of service.”

You snorted at him, gripping his arms so you could pull yourself up to sitting. He tugged you even further until you were flush against him. His face was so close to yours, every part of him was so close.

“You’re being goofy, you’re lucky I think you’re hot.”

It was his turn to laugh, before he slipped his hand down, undoing his belt with a little of your assistance. As he shuffled his jeans and briefs down, you brought your hand to wrap around his length, and it nearly put you back on your ass.

So soft and remarkably beautiful for a dick, it was heavy as all hell as you wrapped your fingers around. So thick and built for two hands to stroke it, you knew that no matter what happened from here on out, you wouldn’t be forgetting about him soon.

“I knew you had a big dick, I could tell from the way you walked,” You said, spitting into your hand so you could stroke him. “But this is just fucking unreal.”

Bucky tried to laugh but you twisted your wrist at just the right time, it filtered off into a moan as his head dipped into the crook of your neck. “And you say I’m the goofy one.”

“Is baby getting all shy, can’t handle the fact he’s hung like a fucking horse?” You teased, running your fingers over his head.

Sucking in a breath, his hands came to grip your hips as you kept jerking him, simply enjoying the way he felt in your hands. “It is far too early for me to be telling you that if you keep talking like that, it will make me come.”

Dropping your mouth open, you turned towards him but ended up nuzzling your nose in his hair. His shampoo smelt incredible, not like a 3-in-1 but like an actual shampoo.

“Bucky, you are a fucking freak, I’m going to have so much fun with you.”

Pulling back from your neck, he gave you the toothiest grin before tipping his head back with a heady moan that made your pussy clench. He looked so beautiful moaning for you, completely at your will with his cock in your hand.

There was something so refreshing about this, your ex never let you have fun during sex, it was always so boring and so incredibly serious. You’d never laughed so much, played so much, and still come so hard your vision whited out.

Bucky took your hand off his dick, wrapping his own it as you tipped your hips back slightly. He lined up, laying his head against your entrance where you needed him most. He slowly slid in as your arms wrapped around his shoulders and gripped tight.

Tears pricked at the corners of your eyes as he moved in, the stretch and burn something you hadn’t felt in a wee while, it took over you as he did his best to be gentle. You were starting to understand the meaning of “rearranging guts” as he got to the hilt.

You paused for a moment, breathing through as Bucky strained with all his might to not move. He’d never felt something so fucking tight and so fucking warm, he would lay money on it that you were made for him and he was always meant to find you.

Finally, you tapped on his shoulder and signaled him to move. He rolled his hips into you, the first few thrusts to find his rhythm before he really picked up. Your ankles crossed over above his ass, keeping him as close to you as you could as his speed increasingly picked up.

“God, this pussy feel so fucking good.” He groaned, hands coming down to lift your shirt back up.

You pulled it over your head, throwing it behind you with your bra as his hands immediately gripped back onto them. Lowering slightly, he brought his mouth to one of your nipples, lips wrapping around and sucking gently as his hips never let up.

Raking your fingers through his hair, you thought about those incredible noises he’d made moments before. Tugging gently, you earnt yourself another moan that rippled through you as you rolled your hips back into his.

“Bucky, faster,” Panting out your words, you gripped him tighter. “I want you to fuck me like you mean it.”

Bucky’s eyes cast up to you, locking with yours and in an instant he changed. One hand gripped your hip and the other braced against the counter as he surged forward into you. A rippling cry travelled out of your chest and broke in your throat, a pathetic moan replacing it.

“You calling me nasty but I think you’re just as bad as I am, hmm?”

You smiled up at him, leaning back slightly so he could watch the way your tits bounced for him as he fucked you. “I never said I wasn’t, I was the one who wanted to do the bad things.”

Bucky lent down, nose to nose with you and lips nearly touching. “You weren’t the only one who was thinking like that.”

His lips caught yours again as his tongue moved straight into your mouth. He pulled you back onto him and made your whole body tense up on him, a ridiculously good rhythm that was making your legs shake.

Slipping a hand in between you, his fingers worked quick against your clit as you tried to match his movements. Everything was becoming increasingly difficult as you could feel your second orgasm working its way through you.

“You’re so good, you make incredible drinks and you’re really good at this too.” You cried, gripping onto his forearm as your back arched up.

Hearing him chuckle through his staggered breaths, his fingers only picked up against where you were most sensitive. “You make spreadsheets look sexy, holy fuck.”

You would’ve laughed, it was a pretty good one, but the orgasm that tore straight through you only allowed you to cry his name. Pussy locked tight around him you nearly left the table as everything broke inside you. The tension that’d he’d created was cut and you came with a near scream.

Bucky coaxed you through it, telling you how pretty you were, how good you looked. All you could do was whimper for him, aftershocks moving through you as he worked closer to his own end.

You opened your eyes to see him in front of you, fisting his cock above you as he panted your name. You’d never heard or seen something quite as good as this, he was something else entirely.

He came with a cry, painting across your stomach as he fell against the bench top. The both of you frozen in time, collecting yourselves and letting your brains set back to normal. Propping yourself back up, you looked at the gorgeous man lent over the sink.

“I know you’ve just put in the hard work,” You reasoned gesturing to your state. “But I could really do with another drink.”

#it's a sleepover #bucky barnes smut #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x female reader #bucky barnes headcanon #marvel smut

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lieuwrites · 4 years ago

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A Story Told In Gems | Hwang Hyunjin | Oneshot

Title: A Story Told in Gems

Pairing: Hwang Hyunjin x Reader

Synopsis: Star tears (tears of unrequited love) have different qualities and minerals which can change the colour of the tears depending on the emotion being experienced in the moment. The minerals in the tears can be collected and pressed into beautiful gemstones. Hyunjin had taken an interest in the different kinds of gems and had tasked himself to learn all he could about them from the store owner of Stardust Jewelers.

Genre/Warnings: Angst, fluff, seemingly (?) unrequited love, hurt/comfort, swearing (i use shit like once), skz side character/s (Minho, Chan), non-idol!AU

Words: 4.8k

Requested: No

A/N: i hope y’all like this one !! i liked the concept of ‘star tears’ and wanted to do something a bit different with it and badabing badaboom here is my attempt at stepping out of my comfort zone :-D do i understand how gems are made ?? not at all, but i wrote it in anyways so who cares lmao

It was quite beautiful the first time you saw your mom cry. She argued with your dad in the kitchen for what felt like ages until she fell to her knees and broke down in tears. Oh how her tears sparkled. The sobs wracked through her body; but her tears, they jingled hypnotically. From the young age of 4 you’d hoped that you too would one day be able to cry such beautiful tears like her when you were older. You never really understood how much it hurt to produce such beauty.

“I promise you, the gems we sell at this store are made of 100% genuine solaris minerals,” you spoke to the customers, as you carefully removed the necklace from the display case. “As you can see, the necklace is a gold singapore chain paired with a blue solaris gem. It also comes with a pair of teardrop earrings if you decided to take the whole set.” The couple inspected the necklace, feeling the quality of the chain and holding it up to their necks. It took the two women a while to pick a necklace, but after scouring the whole shop, they decided on the one they were currently debating.

“Did you say it comes with a certificate of authenticity?” The first woman asked, holding up the necklace delicately in her palm.

You nodded in affirmation and went to grab the papers from underneath the counter. “Not only does it come with a certificate, but almost all of our products come with a story of their origin,” you placed the necklace’s folder onto the counter and slid it over to them, “these gems came from a man named Minho. He had fallen in love with a work colleague who he would spend every single working hour with. What the poor guy didn’t know was that she was already with someone. The tears used for this set specifically were cried on the night of the girl’s wedding.”

The customers sighed in sympathy from the story. It was sad to know what pain this man went through. He came in quite a few times, his first tears producing light blue gems. Each time he came in, the gems would become a deeper shade of blue as his emotions became heavier. The very last time he came in, his tears produced royal blue solaris gems.

Minho yielded 5 different sets of jewelry.

“We’ll take the whole set.”

The next day was slow. You were able to make two small sales but other than that, there didn’t seem to be any sign of more customers. As you tried to busy yourself by wiping down the already clean display cases, the entrance bell rang, signalling a customer. You looked through the glass from your crouched position behind the counter to see a young man walk in. He stepped around the store hesitantly and his eyes scanned the jewels as he moved. You stood up from your place and greeted him, “good afternoon, welcome to Stardust Jewelers; the place where we turn tears into treasures. How can I help you today?” He jumped slightly at your voice and his expression warped into one of surprise.

“Oh uh, sorry. I’m just here to look around,” he spoke quickly and turned around towards the shelves closer to the entrance. His shifty attitude didn’t sit right with you so you walked nearer to where he stood. The cases were secured with a key that was only handled by staff but you knew some people were able to get really creative with their shoplifting.

You followed his gaze to the various bracelets but you were sure he wasn’t interested in those. He seemed to lick his lips nervously as his eyes flicked to you and back to the jewelry. You took in his appearance; his blonde hair was quite long, passing his chin, and his side profile was quite defined. You studied his features quite quickly until you noticed the earrings he wore.

Simple studs.

The gems looked to be diamond but after working at the store for almost your whole life you could tell from the way they sparkled in the light, to the way the metal was designed, those were solaris gems. As you moved closer, the guy stepped away from you.

“Listen man,” you started, “I can tell those studs you’re wearing are solaris gems and judging from the craftsmanship, they were made in this store. I don’t know if you stole those and you’re coming back for seconds-”

“Woah woah woah, I didn’t steal anything from here. I was gifted these,” he held his hands up in surrender before quickly adding, “from a friend.

A quick pause happened before he hesitantly spoke up again,

“I’m Hyunjin… Hwang Hyunjin,” You raised a brow at him and he held his hand out for you to shake. You reciprocated his handshake and also introduced yourself.

“(Y/n). I’m a co-owner of this store.”

He smiled kindly at you and went back to looking at the bracelets. A silence fell over the both of you and you turned to look at the clock hung behind the counter.

’12 minutes until close. There’s no way I’m going to make this sale.’

“Um, sorry I know the store is closing soon but I just want to ask, can I hear the story of that bracelet over there?” Hyunjin pointed to a bracelet with small green solaris gems held together with a gold chain.

“Hmm,” you paused to think, “those were made from the tears of a young woman; tears of envy they were. Her best friend had ended up dating the guy she’d been crushing on. She cried to me, telling me how sad she was about losing the guy of her dreams, but I’m 100% sure she was more envious of their relationship,” You looked up to see Hyunjin listening attentively.

“Green for envy, huh? I guess that one seems pretty obvious.”

You nodded and looked back at the time.

“It seems I’m going to have to pack up shop. Thank you for stopping by and feel free to come by tomorrow.” You held the door open for him and he walked out with a quick goodbye and a quiet ‘nice meeting you.’

Your newest client wasn’t here to buy jewelry; instead, the man who went by ‘Christopher’ sat in the back room. He entered the store donning sunglasses and you knew immediately why he was here. The client walked up to the counter with his head down and you moved to serve him.

“Good morning, welcome to Stardust Jewelers; the place where we turn tears into treasures. How can I help you today?” The guy cleared his throat once and opened his mouth to speak but no words came out. You slowly reached your hand out to reassuringly pat his shoulder before grabbing a small jar from beneath the counter. You asked his name and scribbled it on the jar in sharpie.

“Follow me.”

You walked to the back room and motioned for him to sit on the couch. You then passed him the jar and went to leave the room. “The room is soundproof so don’t be afraid to let it out.”

You then left to go back to your post behind the counter, readying the paperwork for his tears. As you sorted through a new folder, the entrance bell rang.

“Good morning, welcome to Stardust Jewelers; the place where we turn tears into– Oh, you’re back?” The same guy from yesterday walked in with a sheepish smile on his face.

“Yeah… You did say to come by tomorrow. I’m just really curious about the store.”

He came up to the counter and looked at the blank forms you were sorting through. You could tell he was curious as to what was on them so you turned the papers to face him.

“We prepare them each time we have a new client–” you motioned towards the back room with your head– “so we can gather the information and signatures we need for the certificate of authenticity and the jewelry’s backstory.” Hyunjin nodded along to the explanation. He was quite a curious person, asking questions wherever possible and listening attentively to your responses.

“So do crying these gems hurt?” Hyunjin asked.

“Not that I know of. I’m pretty sure the minerals that produce the gems are too small to cause too much damage. I have heard cases where people go colour blind from crying too many star tears though. Some people can even lose memories. My mother told me it’s to protect the heart from further heartbreak.”

At that moment, Christopher walked out; sunglasses on and jar in hand. The contents sparkled a beautiful golden topaz and your heart skipped a beat. You could barely hold back the smile on your face as you took the paperwork back from Hyunjin.

“Sorry Hyunjin, I’m going to need a bit of privacy between the client and myself. Feel free to look around the store.” Hyunjin smiled and instead waved a goodbye, mouthing ‘see you tomorrow’ before walking out the door.

“Do you enjoy working here?” Hyunjin asked whilst chewing on the straw of his empty iced coffee.

“Of course I do. Does it not seem like it?” You pulled out different necklaces from the display to switch around the store’s look.

“Well judging from the way you smiled at the miserable customer yesterday, I’d say you enjoy this job too much.” He raised a brow at you and you laughed at his statement.

“Trust me, I feel like every sad client that comes in to sell their tears weighs on my soul heavily; but every once in a while, you get a client who can cry tears that produce these rare gems,” you turned to pick up a pair of earrings from the shelf behind you and carefully handed them to Hyunjin. He placed his cup onto the counter and held them, inspecting the golden-yellow gems.

“What kind of tears can produce this sort of gem?”

A small smile made its way onto your face as you thought about the woman who produced the earrings.

“Tears of happiness. You see, solaris gems can only be produced from the minerals in star tears, tears that are cried during unrequited love. If the person you love doesn’t love you back, but you’re still able to be happy for them, I just think that’s a sort of purity that needs to be preserved.”

Another new day rolled by and Hyunjin had once again made his way back to your store.

“So what’s the story behind the ring?” Hyunjin motioned to the one held gently in your palm, freshly unpackaged from the warehouse. The clean gem was pure like diamond and had no pigment to it. “These ones are quite the mystery. They look almost like normal tears from how they are cried without pigment but instead they sparkle beautifully, just as all other star tears do. These clear gems are made from tears of the unaware. Sometimes people will cry and produce star tears without knowing that they were ever in love in the first place so they usually don’t come with a story.” The idea of those gems made you sad and you quickly put it away on the shelf.

“Does the same go for my earrings?” He asked, motioning to the studs he always wore.

“I guess so. Did you not get the information folder when you bought those?”

He shook his head and knocked on yours lightly with his hand, bringing himself to your level, “I got these as a gift, remember?”

“Ahh right. Well maybe your friend should’ve given you the info folder. How are you supposed to know if they’re real or not,” you huffed.

“Easy. I’ve got you to verify them for me.”

It had been a few weeks since Hyunjin started popping into the store and making conversation.

Hyunjin stood behind you toying with the necklace around your neck while you sat at the counter filling out paperwork for the batch of tears that needed to be sent out that afternoon. He watched over your shoulder as you sorted through all the information and vials diligently ensuring everything was correct. He couldn’t help but admire how particular and concise you were with your work.

What he couldn’t tell was how flustered you were in the moment. The close proximity between the two of you made your heart race and every time his fingers would absentmindedly brush against the nape of your neck you would try your hardest to hide the shivers that ran up through your spine.

You put down your pen and replaced his hand on the clasp of your necklace, removing it and turning to dangle it before him. “Here, play with this while I do my work,” you told him, waiting for the guy to take hold of it.

Hyunjin held his palm out and you placed the jewelry into his grasp. He knew it was important to you with the way you would fidget with the pendant out of habit, move the clasp back to its place behind your neck when displaced and even just because of the fact he never saw you without it until now. Although he knew the jewel held significance to you, it was a mystery as to why. He’d always wanted to know the story behind it but never knew how to bring it up.

The large, emerald cut gem was a deep shade of red, mounted to a golden pendant and looped onto a thin, simple, gold box chain. “Red for anger is it?” Hyunjin started, his eyes shifting from the necklace to the owner.

You looked back at him, catching his eyes quickly before turning back to your work.

“Uh, yeah. Red for anger,” your voice was tentative, knowing what he really wanted to know. After a moment of hesitation, you continued to speak, “It’s from my mom, you know, the ‘big boss’. That is her first ever gem she made… out of her own tears.” You put your pen down and spun around on the stool you were sitting on to face Hyunjin.

He faced you, eyes unsure where to look. After a second of inner conflict he decided looking into yours was the best place to direct his gaze. He could read a variation of emotions; confusion, anxiousness, rage and guilt but the most prevalent one he could see was pain.

“They were the tears she cried when my dad told her he was leaving us. It happened so long ago but sometimes it still gets to me,” you let out a shaky breath and forced a smile, “I guess I should be thankful. That moment was basically the catalyst for this whole business my mom started. She said she wanted to make something beautiful and worthwhile out of painful and vulnerable moments, just to remind people that there’s always a shining light at the end of a dark tunnel.”

Suddenly, you were gently pulled into Hyunjin’s embrace, an arm around your shoulders and the other pulling your head to his shoulder. It wasn’t until then you realised you were crying. Quiet sobs escaped your body and you wrapped your arms around his waist looking for comfort.

Hyunjin stayed silent and stroked your hair in reassurance.

No words needed to be spoken. All that mattered was that Hyunjin was there in the moment, allowing you to let it all out.

And you did, crying tears that sparkled orange.

It became a routine that Hyunjin would come and visit a few times a week. He came in so often he’d somehow weaseled his way into having his own spot behind the counter. A customer walked in and you greeted them with Hyunjin chorusing along.

“Good morning, welcome to Stardust Jewelers; the place where we turn tears into treasures. How can I help you today?”

The girl came up to the counter and flashed a beautiful smile. “Hi, I’m here looking for something specific. Have you got any jewelry from someone named Minho?” You assumed she was friends with the couple from a few weeks prior so you nodded and brought her over to where the last of Minho’s jewelry was kept. The first ever set he was able to produce was all that was left and it was a mere ring. The gem on the thin band was a small light blue jewel.

“Would you like to hear the story behind it?” you offered.

“Don’t worry, she knows it already,” a familiar voice cut in. Without you noticing, Minho had entered the shop.

“No. Way. Minho, I haven’t seen you in ages! What’s it been? 3? 4 years?” You walked out from behind the counter and hugged him. He chuckled and hugged you back, “4 years and 7 months if we’re being precise.”

Minho walked over to the woman and gently pulled her over, holding her hand. “I want you to meet my girlfriend. We’ve been dating for a couple of years now.”

Minho pressed a quick kiss to her cheek and turned back to you. “We’re here to see what’s left of my gems.” His girlfriend pulled him over to where the ring was while you made your way to the back room. For each client that came to sell their tears, you decided to keep gems for them, just in case they ever came back --a situation you thought would never happen-- and for the first time, someone did.

You found Minho’s section, pulled out a small box and brought it out to the couple. Somehow, Hyunjin had gotten the key and opened the display to show them the ring in the display case.

“Since when did you hire new staff? I thought this was a family business?” Minho asked.

“I didn’t. This guy just has nothing better to do.”

Hyunjin stuck his tongue out and tossed the keys back to you.

You placed the box down in front of them and pulled out 5 small jewelry boxes, each dated with when the tears were collected. You opened them to reveal the gems within, creating a beautiful gradient of blues as the dates became more recent.

“These are all gems created from Minho’s star tears. I save gems for each client that comes in, just in case they come back one day. I’ve left them completely untampered with so that you can choose what sort of jewelry you want to make them into.”

The two teared up looking at the jewels and you could feel the warmth radiating from the two of them.

“How much for them?” Minho asked and you shook your head.

“They’re free. There’s no way I’d make someone pay for their own tears,” you scoffed jokingly and closed the boxes to be packaged. You looked for the info folders until you realised you must’ve left them in the back room in your excitement. As you turned to go collect them, They suddenly appeared in front of you.

“Oh, thank you Hyunjin. I swear you know your way around here too well, I’m going to have to start restricting store access to you,” you joked.

“Hyunjin?” Minho’s voice travelled over the counter and you looked over at Minho’s confused face.

“Do you guys know each other?” You questioned.

Hyunjin shook his head, seeming just as confused.

Minho continued, “Is this the Hyunjin that you cried star tears over?”

From there, Hyunjin’s eyes widened in shock. He looked at you but you didn’t know what Minho was talking about.

“What do you mean? I’ve never known any other Hyunjin, and I met him a couple months ago.”

“No, the third time I came in, you told me you started crying star tears but you didn’t know why and by the fourth time I came around, you told me you realised it was for your friend Hyunjin.” Minho was sure of it, it was the most vulnerable he’d ever seen you. You would comfort him everytime he came by, but once, and only once, he ended up being the one to comfort you.

You could only shake your head at Minho. “I’ve never cried star tears in my life. I really don’t know what you’re talking about.” You looked back at Hyunjin and then at the gems. “Now back to the topic at hand–” you pulled forms from below the counter– “how would you like these gems styled?”

You hadn’t spoken a word to Hyunjin since Minho left. There was this uncomfortable tension in the air that just wouldn't dissipate no matter how hard you tried to ignore it. Hyunjin knew it was there, and he knew it had to be him to make the first move, but the glass counter had this spot that just wouldn't disappear no matter how hard he scrubbed.

He watched as you counted the day’s earnings intently, eyes not daring to look away from the notes and coins in front of you. There was a voice inside of him that screamed at him to go up to you and explain everything but there was also a feeling of shame that held him back. He was so ashamed of deceiving you and that alone was eating away at him.

When Hyunjin halted his attempts at scrubbing away the nonexistent spot on the glass and turned to face you, you had already made your way to the back room to put away the money.

He argued with himself, ’maybe I should run for it while they aren’t here. Or maybe I should follow them and fess up’, but the internal monologue had only caused him even more distress.

You on the other hand had decided to completely forget that encounter with Minho, maybe you could forget that the day had ever happened, or even better, maybe you could forget that Hyunjin had ever decided to come into your store. It wasn’t hard to piece everything together, you were smart.

The door creaked behind you, signalling Hyunjin’s entry into the back room with you. He placed the window cleaner and rag back into their rightful place on the shelf while he waited for you to lock up the safe, hidden on the floor in the back of the room, just like routine. When you got up and looked at him, he stood there with a look on his face that told you he was trying to find the words to say.

His mind blanked as you strode towards him, there was no sign of what you were feeling in the moment. As you arrived at the spot right in front of the man, you reached your hand up to gently grasp his chin and move his head to the side.

There, in the shitty back room lighting, shined the clear and clean cut solaris gems. The memory of a forgotten feeling had welled up in your chest, as if you were feeling just a tinge of the heartbreak you once experienced.

“Do you want them back?” Hyunjin’s voice broke the silence.

You shook your head and let go of his chin, walking past him to finally lock up and leave.

“Keep them, they look good on you.”

And those were the last words you spoke to him before he followed you out and you locked up.

It had been a few months after that incident. You were able to forget the whole scenario ever happened --assuming that ignoring the situation was synonymous with forgetting-- and kept conducting business as usual. Hyunjin had barely crossed your mind since you last saw him that night and you were thankful. The whole thing had completely left your system… until now.

The store bell rang and you looked up to greet the customer, words getting caught in your throat.

His hair was no longer blonde but a deep brown, almost black. It had also grown to touch just past his shoulders. As you locked eyes, a soft smile made its way onto his face as he approached you.

After all this time, Hyunjin was the same.

“No ’welcome to Stardust Jewelers’ for your best customer?” He attempted to joke.

“Well you never actually bought anything.” Your voice was flat, an attempt at hiding what you really felt. The same pain you had tried to forget was bubbling back up in your chest and Hyunjin could see it through your facade. Whilst giving you time to collect yourself, Hyunjin inspected you further. You were the same as he remembered. The same as back when you went to school together, the same as when he met you again at your store after years away at college, just... the same. You were the same in the way your presence comforted him and raised his mood, but he knew you held different feelings towards him.

And then something caught his attention.

Ruby red emerald cut earrings.

They matched the pendant around your neck and Hyunjin was filled with the same regret.

“Hyunjin, I’ll be honest, I’m not really comfortable with you coming back here. I don’t think we can just ‘hang’ like we used to.”

A sadness washed over him as he shook his head and chuckled bitterly.

“I know. I’m actually just here as a client. That is, if you’ll have me?”

There was a second of hesitance before you reached under the counter to grab a jar, scribbling his name onto it, and handing it over to him. You motioned towards the back room and allowed him to make his own way there, closing the door behind him.

Filling out his papers occupied you while you continued to try and pull yourself together. You understood why you had forgotten Hyunjin the first time, the way your mind tried to protect your heart with the star tears you cried. The pain you felt around Hyunjin stung. It made your chest hurt and your mind muddled. Most significantly, it made your eyes burn. The tears you attempted to hold back eventually fell freely, falling onto the paper and staining it with small, orange splatters.

A hand reached out to wipe them away and it was only then you realised that Hyunjin had made his way back.

You stepped back away from him and scrambled to wipe your tears with your sleeve. Hyunjin looked down at the paper, the deep orange tinge seeping into the print. It brought him back to the day he comforted you as you cried into his sweater. He went home that day with the same shiny orange stain on his shirt.

“What do orange tears signify?”

As you wiped away your ever falling tears, your voice came out low and strangled.

“Abandonment.”

Hyunjin couldn’t bear the idea of being the cause of your pain. Not only once or twice, but three times. He wanted to jump the counter and hug you, comfort you just as he had before and apologise until his voice grew weak, but instead he reached into his pocket and produced the small jar with his name on it.

The clink of the jar on the glass counter caught your attention and you inspected the contents from where you stood. A brilliant shade of indigo sparkled within the jar.

“Tears of regret,” you mumbled, “what are you feeling regretful about Hyunjin?”

He breathed out a hopeless laugh and walked around the counter and towards you. As you looked up at his face you could see the same purple tears, sparkling as they ran down his cheeks.

“Everything.”

It was then that you embraced him. His head had fallen to your shoulder and he wept, repeating a string of apologies to you.

Sorry for leaving you.

Sorry for deceiving you.

Sorry for never telling you how he truly felt.

Sorry.

You shushed him gently and rubbed his back reassuringly. That was enough. His apology was enough for you and you didn’t need to hear anymore.

Neither of you knew how long you stood there crying, basking in the embrace and comfort of each other, but as the sobs died down and your arms grew weaker, your hearts only grew fuller. The feelings you two had for each other were different from before. Not quite love but it could be one day. And today was a step towards repairing those past emotions.

You pulled away and held Hyunjins shoulders at arms length as you studied his face. His eyes were swollen and pink, his lips quivered, daring to let out another sob. You could only imagine how you looked.

“I’m glad you came back,” your voice hoarse from crying.

“I’m glad to see you again.”

After looking into his eyes a few moments more, you turned towards the papers on the counter.

“I guess we should commemorate this moment with some purple solari gems, no?”

Hyunjin could only let out a hearty laugh, picking up a pen to help with the papers.

Despite the drama happening just a moment ago, having Hyunjin back at the store felt normal. Everything felt just the same and thankfully, it could only go up from here.

#inkidz #hwang hyunjin #hwang hyunjin oneshot #hwang hyunjin drabble #hwang hyunjin imagine #hwang hyunjin one shot #skz #skz oneshot #skz drabble #skz imagine #stray kids #stray kids oneshot #stray kids drabble #stray kids imagine

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yesmusictherapy-blog · 6 years ago

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TAGS: "Metal straws Singapore" , "Stainless steel straws Singapore" , "Reusable straws Singapore" , "Metal straw Singapore" , "Best metal straw in Singapore" , "Corporate gift metal straws "

#TAGS: Metal straws Singapore Stainless steel straws Singapore Reusable straws Singapore Metal straw Singapore Best metal straw in Singap

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living-and-learning-lovingly · 5 years ago

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Treasures, Tchotchke, or Trash?

Scrutinizing Solutions to Pollution in Singapore

As pollution clutters up our land, gluts the seas and pervades the air, discussions about how to properly clean up and dispose of the waste produced by humanity's lifestyle have multiplied. Yet the best solution might simply be to make less.

In terms of big government efforts, Singapore has embraced some innovative and practical solutions to waste. An example is our man-made island landfill, Pulau Semakau. Waste is incinerated, reducing items to 10% of its original volume (with the smoke filtered and trapped to keep our air clean). The ash is poured into landfill cells in Pulau Semakau, and when they are filled, earth is laid and grass grows over the landfill as if it was never there1.

When visiting the island, this reporter learned that the presence of mangrove forests there further protects the ocean. Mangroves are highly reactive to toxic material, and will warn should pollutants escape.2 Furthermore, mangroves are said to neutralise heavy metal pollutants which might leak out, providing a natural solution.3 The efficacy of both these natural and man-made systems is reflected in the teeming wildlife and healthy ecosystem that supports said mangroves as well as fish farms, coral reefs and lush seagrass habitats around the island.

Lush mangroves of Pulau Semakau overlook Bazillion Snails, clustered on the shore. Photo by Ria Tan.

With water consumption, NEWater, an initiative which takes water “from toilet to tap”, treats and cleans waste water until it is so clean it can be drunk. It provides for 40% of Singapore’s total water use currently.4These strategies reuse water which might otherwise be disposed of, acting as solutions both to Singapore’s water scarcity but also as paths towards greater sustainability in this essential resource.

Yet these solutions are not sufficient. Carbon emissions will be produced during the incineration and treatment process. Additionally, at the rate we produce waste, Pulau Semakau will be filled by 2035 and space scarce Singapore will be in a bind.5

To reduce what is sent to landfills, we often focus on recycling. With only 6% of the 815,200 tonnes of plastic waste was recycled, there is clearly room for improvement.6

However, recycling, while important, should not be our primary focus because it is not as sustainable as it seems. China’s National Sword policy banned the import of most recyclables and left countries, including Singapore, scrambling to find alternative markets. With falling demand, public waste collectors admitted in an interview with Channel News Asia that unable to sell recyclables, they prefer incinerate them.7 Even if this is a minority view, and the majority of recyclables are sent to alternative overseas markets (like Indonesia and Malaysia) as NEA has claimed5, recycling is not an environmental panacea. In Indonesia, a report by the International Pollutants Elimination Network (IPEN) showed that indiscriminate plastic waste incineration had poisoned the food supply8, while in Malaysia, residents complained of toxic, choking fumes from nearby factory plants.9 With Singapore’s low recycling rate and the oft-overlooked costs of recycling, we should be focusing earlier in the waste cycle.

Crushed PET bottles. Our plastic waste piles up, but how much of it is recycled responsibly?

It would be better to reduce the production of these items we consume.

Plastic bags, which make up one fifth of our total plastic waste, exemplify that much is only consumed for convenience’s sake. Anything offered free that we are accustomed to taking can lead to frankly absurd levels of consumption; Straits Times estimated in March 2019 estimated that 13 plastic bags are used by Singaporeans everyday.10 Thoughtless consumption for temporary convenience is creating a legacy of trash.

Today, grassroots movements prove it is both possible and easy to live more sustainably and “plastic-lite”. The proliferation of the straw-free movement, driven by Instagram pages has motivated institutions and corporations to reduce their use of this (usually) unnecessary disposable. Singapore’s flagship university NUS has banned plastic straws, and corporations like KFC and Starbucks are working on removing straws.

Food and fashion consumption should also be scrutinized. Singaporeans throw away S$342 million in unconsumed food annually11, and the fact that Singaporeans may hit an obesity rate of 15% by 202412 implies that not only are Singaporeans squandering food, but we are also consuming more of it than is healthy for us. And while 6 in 10 Singaporeans know about fashion’s harmful impact on the environment, 7 out of 10 Singaporeans buy clothing at least once every six months, and care not if it is sustainably sourced.13 This waste of resources is undeniable but overlooked. Our culture tells us to want more, regardless of if it is good for us.

Everything we buy is thrown away eventually, though we do not often think about it. Photo by Lily Banse on Unsplash

When we lust after new clothes, gadgets, kitchen accoutrements, tchotchke or any other knick-knacks, we should think about whether it really makes us happy. Consumer clutter is a bane to the environment, especially when unwanted or unneeded goods are produced and then disposed. The philosophy of minimalism, which has skyrocketed in popularity after Marie Kondo’s book, reminds us that it more important to focus on what “sparks joy”. We do not need to live like ascetics, but we should give more careful consideration to our choices.

Sometimes a want is just an impulsive and unnecessary whim. What we consume –or do not consume -- shapes our lives and our legacy. The Gods of indiscriminate and relentless consumption will never be satiated, and our sacrifice of nature will only win us a mountain of garbage. Treasures, Tchotchke, or Trash; we need to be more frugal and clear-sighted, and learn to differentiate treasure from tinsel before all we have is trash.

#environment #sustainability #waste managment #singapore #mine

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dorysuperhappyfunearth · 5 years ago

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5 easy ways to reduce waste

if you’re looking to reduce your waste and minimise your impact on mama earth in your everyday life, this is the post for you! here are 5 easy ways you can make less waste :)

1. use a reusable water bottle instead of buying bottled water

this is one of the easiest swaps you can make - to get a reusable bottle, be it plastic, stainless steel or glass*. this stainless steel one from Bamboo Straw Girl is great because it has a handle that you can hook onto your bag and it comes in thermal and non-thermal versions so you can keep your drinks hot/cold!

plus, Singapore’s tap water is safe to drink and there are many water dispensers and coolers around to refill your bottles. just naming a few: schools, nursing rooms in some shopping malls, Changi Airport, Our Tampines Hub, Heartbeat @ Bedok, and even public toilets. PLUS, think of all the money you’ll save on all the bottled water you would have bought. it really adds up!

*you may wish to consider the material of your bottle based on your lifestyle and its environmental impact. I personally wouldn’t recommend plastic bottles (e.g. Tupperware bottles) because they get oily and form dark spots after a period of time. if you’re accident-prone, glass is probably not the right choice for you. get something that you see yourself using for a really really long time!

2. use a reusable bag instead of plastic bags

plastic bags are made with non-renewable resources and take a LOT of energy to manufacture. they take a really really long time to break down (think 1000 years) and can release toxic chemicals over time. In Singapore, shoppers take 820 million plastic bags from supermarkets every year and only 15% of a survey’s respondents bring their own shopping bags. the next time you head out, throw a reusable bag into your backpack or handbag. they’re compact and ready whenever you need it. grocery shopping, buying clothes, shoes, gifts, whatever it is, you’re gonna need a reusable bag. BUT if you ever find yourself without one, don’t be afraid to hold your purchases in your hand! REFUSE THE BAG. especially for small purchases - those small plastic bags can barely hold anything or be used to bag our trash.

for many Singaporean households, using plastic bags to bag our trash is just common practice. some ways to reduce our use of plastic bags for trash would include reusing food packaging (e.g. the plastic bag that was used to put apples), recycling (so the recyclables don’t take up space in the bag), composting (so food waste doesn’t take up space). the best being... make less trash in the first place!

3. bring your own set of cutlery

all you need to do is grab a set of utensils from your home (spoon, fork, chopsticks, whatever you need), place it in a pouch and voilà! throw it in your bag whenever you’re heading out and you are set. use them when you order food in or when you’re eating at a place with disposables. then wash them at any public tap, keep it in the pouch and repeat!

remember you don’t need to buy a new set of utensils if you already have some you can use at home. however, frequent travellers may wish to get a set of bamboo cutlery (this is not sponsored but I love Bamboo Straw Girl!) because metal cutlery may pose some issues at the airport.

4. switch to soap bars

if you’ve been using liquid soap for face, hair and body, chances are they’re all bottled in some sort of plastic container. liquid soaps take a lot of energy to transport and manufacture (5x more energy for raw material production and almost 20x more for packaging production than bar soaps). liquid soaps are also often made from ingredients that are too harsh for our skin (e.g. parabens, sulfates, silicones).

make the switch to soap bars! you can start out with the Dove body soap bars (you can get them at Valu$ shops) which are cheaper but doesn’t have the best ingredient list. iHerb also sells bar soaps for both face and body - for some products, they are cheaper when you buy in larger quantities. (consider sharing with your friends and family - you save money and reduce carbon emissions when you collate your purchases for shipping!) if you can afford to splurge a little more, oasis:skin is a homegrown clean beauty brand and sells facial, shampoo and conditioner bars.

they’re also perfect for travellers because you don’t have to worry about liquid limits at the airport, or spillages because the solid soaps can just be placed in a container or pouch and they are good to go!

5. eat in!

takeaway culture is pretty prominent in Singapore - dabaoing food to our offices, back home or to our study areas is probably something we all do at least once a week. and while it would be great if we could all bring our own containers, I know there are some reasons deterring people from BYOing. “it’s troublesome to wash the container”, “how do I know what size I need the container to be?” well then, try eating in as much as possible! use the reusable plates and cutlery provided by the dining establishment instead of creating the waste of a plastic container/styrofoam box, disposable utensils, a plastic bag to hold those items and extras like chili packets. no need to bring a container, no need to wash the container, just opt to eat in.

if you aren’t already doing these 5 things, try it this week! make the switch. small changes can make a big difference. :)

#singapore #sustainability #eco #environment #zero waste #low waste

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ayerayerproject · 6 years ago

Text

Picking up the Pieces

by Sarah Ichioka

Sarah Ichioka writes the keynote essay for Plasticity, a photography series by visual artist Ernest Goh on plastic pollution found on Punggol Beach, Singapore. The photography series was made during Exactly Foundation Art Residency programme 2018-19.

Sarah Ichioka writes the keynote essay for Plasticity, a photography series on microplastics and plastic pollution found on Singapore’s Punggol Beach, by visual artist, Ernest Goh for Exactly Foundation Art Residency programme.

On each page, a new object catches my eye; like jewels, like candy. I turn them over in my mind’s hand, admiring their lustrous surfaces, vivid colours.

My consumer-lust is aroused from its never too-deep sleep. That red shaft would make a stunning cocktail ring; that green streak, a tasty topping for a cake.

Mysterious figures appear on the white horizon. Our gazes meet. A wide-eyed soldier hoists his bayonet aloft. A wrinkled beast—a yak?—cocks a smirk in my direction. And wait, is that a… missile?

But then, suddenly, my fantasy falls to the ground. A bent red bottle cap, its curved white logo instantly recognisable. Intrigue flattens to disgust. These aren’t exotic goods whose heft begs handling; they’re nothing but so many tiny bits of trash.

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People who spend their time in or near the water—surfers, divers, sailors—are amongst the most passionate anti-plastic campaigners, because they see and feel the effects of ocean pollution first-hand. Photographer Ernest Goh traces the origin of his personal anti-plastic journey to a wave-borne shopping bag that smothered his face. Other friends—a married couple—have shared with me their experience of snorkeling and watching pieces of discarded plastic float by—including food packaging designed by the husband’s very own company.

Even when mediated through photos or videos, for folks more frequently in shopping malls than in the surf, there is a visual aspect of the plastic pollution crisis that imparts an immediate sense of accountability. That object I see lodged in the sea turtle’s nose is most certainly a plastic straw, just like the one I sucked my kopi peng through this morning; that cigarette lighter inside the ribcage of the albatross chick’s carcass is unmistakably the same item that my husband hides beneath his cufflinks and credit card receipts.

This visually self-evident character differentiates our plastic pollution crisis from some of the concurrent, compound emergencies we humans have created. Take our carbon pollution crisis: I have to believe climate scientists when they tell me that my holiday flights hasten the thawing of the permafrost. Or our nitrogen pollution crisis: I have to trust hydrology experts when they say that runoff from fertiliser used to grow my lunch causes massive downstream dead zones. In such cases, obfuscation and denial are easier to sustain, whether by ourselves, by industry lobbyists or by politicians.

The comparative legibility of our plastic pollution crisis might suggest that it is more politically “solvable” than some of these other potentially existential, yet less easily illustrated crises we face.

Having accepted our culpability, how might we begin to atone for it?

One response offers an appealing narrative of consumer activism: maybe we can (mindfully) shop our way out of this mess, by opting for more durable, reusable items? Certainly making a habit of carrying a water flask, a canvas shopping bag, and a set of bamboo eating utensils is a decent place to start, not least as a conversation starter and signal of one’s concern.

Perhaps the problem can be solved if we try our best to #recyclebetter, as the current Singaporean campaign urges? Or is recycling merely a “fig leaf on consumerism” as Jane Muncke, Director of Zurich's Food Packaging Forum puts it?

Maybe we should just tidy up a bit more? When I was a kid, my father would take me for an annual volunteer clean-up of the coast near our California home. Ending the day with sore muscles and a sack full of bullet casings (from a nearby shooting range), cigarette butts, condoms, deodorant rollers, and crumbling chunks of styrofoam was deeply satisfying to me, as tangible evidence of my personal concern and participation. Last year, I chaperoned my daughter’s preschool class on a similar clean-up outing to Singapore’s East Coast Park. This time, I felt rather less contented, overwhelmed by the seeming futility of our attempts, observing casual littering by park users and the floating trash ready to wash ashore as soon as we’d cleared our patch of beach.

As it happens, in about the same timespan as that between my leaving university and becoming a mother, the global volume of plastic production doubled. The same report that documents this leap estimates that global industries have produced 8,300 million metric tons of plastic since 1950. 6,400 million metric tons of this plastic—that’s roughly 100 times the weight of the concrete used to build the Three Gorges Dam, the world’s largest manmade structure—have become waste, nearly 80% of which sits in landfills or our natural environment. Less than 10% has been recycled, while the remainder has been incinerated (as has until recently been standard practice in Singapore).

In Singapore itself, plastic waste per capita has increased nearly 20 percent over the last 15 years. Looking at this country’s plastic bag usage alone, about 2,640 bags are thrown away every three seconds.

Projecting forward current production and pollution trends, another report predicts by 2050 our oceans could contain more plastics than fish (by weight), while the plastics industry itself could consume 15% of our annual carbon budget, and 20% of global oil production.

While our plastic pollution crisis is so overwhelmingly large, it is also mind-twistingly small. Here I mean small in the sense probed by Goh’s photographs: the scale of the microplastics, and now nano-plastics, whose presence has been documented in nearly every corner of our terrestrial and aquatic habitats, and which are now entering our food chain, with unknown, but potentially toxic effects.

The proximity of Goh’s plastic-strewn Punggol beach to a seafood restaurant seems apt. We study the food chain and hydrological cycles as concepts in school, but when most of us enter the “real” world we conveniently forget the practical implications of our systemic connections with the rest of nature.

Understanding the interconnected nature of plastic pollution’s causes and effects is a kind of reawakening. It destabilises the narrative that sees human culture as separate from the natural environment. That story of separation has been a necessary psychological cover for the exploitation of living systems that underpins nearly every aspect of our current economic and political order. Once we remember that ecocide is suicide, will we continue it?

Have we trashed Earth beyond habitability? No problem, we’ll just migrate to Mars, as deckhands or stowaways on a tech oligarch’s spaceship. But wait, turns out we’ve already trashed outer space too. Parts of broken satellites and rockets currently amount to over 8 million kilos of space waste. Rather like ocean plastics, the larger bits of space waste are fragmenting into smaller and smaller pieces, which interfere with digital communications and might even hinder future spacecraft launches.

So let’s turn our eyes back to our damaged and depleted, yet still living and magnificent planet.

“Reduce, reuse, recycle, refuse”? Yes of course, let’s do that. But politely declining plastic straws and rinsing our Coke bottles is simply not enough. Also—and in my view, more importantly—we must act not just as individual consumers but collectively, as concerned citizens and social beings.

With this in mind, let me leave you with an alternative “4 Rs” to consider:

Rebel: Let us raise our voices together, unashamed to share our grief, rage, and disgust at the devastation that our overconsumption-based society has unleashed all around us, clogging our commons and poisoning our sources of sustenance. Let’s insist on better, for ourselves, and for the complex living systems upon which our survival depends.

Root: Let us ground the solutions to our plastic pollution crisis in the lived history and culture of Singapore and its region*. What local wisdom and practices, from karung guni men, to metal tiffins, to banana leaf wrappers and beyond, might be usefully revisited for contemporary use? How might technological and behavioural innovations ground themselves in Singaporeans’ particular resources and values?

Relate: Let us decipher and then communicate the underlying systems that perpetuate this global crisis. Let’s understand for example, who benefits from the otherwise dangerous proliferation of plastics, and how they exert influence on policies and regulations. Let’s study why some national and local governments have taken action to solve the plastic pollution crisis more swiftly than others, and what successful changes early actors have made. Let’s explore how our plastic pollution crisis intersects with other economic, environmental and social systems.

And finally, Regenerate: Let us draw inspiration from the natural world to craft materials and manufacturing cycles that are truly waste-free. Let’s design, build, and inhabit systems that proactively repair past damage, clean up our rubbish, and co-create the conditions for our living world to flourish. It will be a beautiful sight.

Sarah Mineko Ichioka is a Singapore-based urbanist, curator and writer. She leads Desire Lines, a consultancy for environmental, cultural, and social-impact organisations. www.sarahichioka.com

*Ernest Goh’s MA thesis at Goldsmiths followed a similar vein, looking to historical urban successes to inspire contemporary applications. In Goh’s case, the water fountains of ancient Rome inspired the idea for new public water fountains for Singapore, which will be piloted as a part of this project at ADEX 2019.

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Further reading: https://www.plasticpollutioncoalition.org/

https://polymerdatabase.com/polymer%20classes/Plastics%20Industry%20Facts.html

https://polymerdatabase.com/Polymer%20Brands/Plastic%20Manufacturers.html

https://www.opensecrets.org/lobby/lookup.php (tip: enter “plastic” in the Issue search field)

https://www.edb.gov.sg/en/our-industries/energy-and-chemicals.html

http://singapore-companies-directory.com/categories/singapore_plastics.htm

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