#best beard oil 2018

[donkeytonk]

Hunger

Crispin (Toast) Amell is a character that belongs to @iamaweretoad. This story follows an RP thread that we made together in 2018, but you don't need to know that story in order to read this one. I'm not usually a writer, but the gardener mage Sula has stayed in my imagination all these years. Please consider this my Toast fanfic, because I love him (and miss him) very much.

Hunger

When Sula had been a girl in the Circle, she could never get enough food.

“Ethel, can’t I have some more? I’m still hungry!” she would plead.

“Good!” the old woman would snap. “That means you’re still alive.” But invariably she would give the little girl her own portion to finish, the same thing that Sula later did for her own apprentices.

Fleeing in the forests, far away from the abundance of her garden, the little children were always hungry and Sula would pretend that she could not finish. “Oh, so many beans and I’m just too full to eat them. Will you help me Flora, Miles?” By now she had learned the skill of hunger.

You don’t need food, you just need some more water, Ethel’s words always reminded her.

Fasting is good for you.

Fasting keeps you healthy from time to time.

It’s good to be hungry. It means you’re alive.

Sula had never understood the older mage’s words, and she remained skeptical of their truth. There was much of Ethel’s wisdom that she passed on to the children, but the benefits of starvation was not one of them. The elder’s past must have been particularly wanting.

At home she had been surrounded by grain, fields as far as she could see. Beyond their little cottage garden everything was grain, tall and green and shining all the way to the sea. It was taller than herself and she could not see over it, but with a special touch she could cause the stalks to bow before her, clearing a path that was just her size. The first time she had discovered this skill, she had run through the field with her arms spread wide, laughing with glee as the stalks parted in withering curls. It felt as if she ran for hours making maze paths, circles and spirals.

But after that, of course, everyone had been angry. The man with the black beard had always frightened her, and he yelled at her father about putting a sun on her forehead. She had not known what that meant at the time, but when he demanded that they “give her to me!” she ran to the house to hide in the cupboard. Then during the night, her mother had roused her from bed to get dressed, and she was taken away. She could not remember what lie they told her but she thought then that it was temporary, just some good people to protect her for a while, just until the bearded man calmed down. There was a man in armor that made her feel peculiar and anxious, but they told her that he was there to make sure she was safe.

And now she had the power to nurture growth in those fields. Her parents could have bought their own land within a couple of years with the wealth of grain that she could have produced. But she had nearly no memory of who they were, not their names nor their village. They had just been mama and papa to her. They never wrote or visited. Would they have welcomed her home if they knew of her skills now?

But the other members of the Circle became her family, and she was proud of her ability to provide. There had been such lean years in her younger days, but with her innate skills and the knowledge of Lene, the herbalist, they had managed to make the courtyard garden flourish. They had started with Lene’s medicinal herbs, and the villagers were pleased to purchase tinctures, tonics and oils ostensibly blessed through magic. Locally their Circle earned a reputation as fine herbalists, and best of all, for the Chantry, it all brought in more money. There was not much land within their enclosure, but somehow, through the promise of more income, they were allowed to purchase a field nearby where they started to grow their own food: grain and vegetables, beans and berries, and they even made a little orchard. Lene taught Sula how to preserve fruits for winter, how to dry and store the fat tubers, how to save seeds and take cuttings for new propagation, as well as her usual medicinal mixtures. Sula taught Lene and the apprentices how to dessicate weeds with a touch, how to enrich the soil’s goodness, how to extend its moisture, to increase a plant’s vitality, and how to warm and encourage growth day by day.

***

In the forest they were constantly hungry. There had not been enough warning time or else they could have brought more food with them. Every day and every night when her stomach tightened, she thought of her orchard and vegetables. The villagers would probably take it all, but they wouldn’t know how to nurture it. They wouldn’t know to pinch off the tops, would they? Did they know how to trim the branches? They would descend like locusts and eat everything. They wouldn’t know to save the seeds, and the collection would be lost forever. It had taken her years to acquire them all. Some of them came from places she had only heard of in traveler’s tales.

And her stores! Dried apples and pears, almonds, all the different beans still on their racks, preserved plums in bottles buried in the cellar, frostberries dry and in crocks with spirits, fresh peas and dried peas and peas in spiced oil, hazelnuts and their paste, dried apricots, the long plaits of onions and garlic hanging from the rafters, all the tubers harvested and covered in straw, the starts for next spring, the seeds in dry pots, the seeds in wet sand, the rare seeds in her treasure box, the sunflower seeds for planting and eating. The wheat, barley, amaranth, sedgeseed.

“It’s all right, you finish it,” she would tell the youngest children. “It will be our secret, promise?” Fasting is good for you. You don’t need food, you just need water. Ethel had lived through lean times. The older mages too needed all the strength they could get, hunting, clearing paths, scouting for safety. A gardener has no work on the run, so protecting the children became her primary duty. Her body remembered how to go without.

I’m hungry!

Good, that means you’re alive.

Dear old Ethel, what hunger did you survive?

And then they had found the dead soldiers and their empty fort. There was only one man still alive there, and he seemed not to mind a relief of his duties. There were barracks and beds and stores of food. Mora made them a stew the very first night, and everyone ate their fill and more. There were clean clothes and blankets, fresh water, enough time for rest, and three weeks of peace.

Sula began to think of starting a garden. There is hope in a garden, thoughts of the future in a garden, plans for life in a garden. Two weeks of life full of possibilities. Some dried peas and wheat in the stores were still viable, and she could search for dried berries in the woods. She found a spot near the well where grass was still growing green. The soil must be good there. That would be her garden. One week of preparation and winter planting.

***

The Inquisition soldiers had started a fire in the fort while they were asleep and attacked them as they fled for safety. She had told the children to follow Bennet, the eldest. There were only five of them now: Bennet, Sal, Deidre, Flora, Miles. Bennet wanted to fight, but he seemed to understand that getting the younger ones to safety was paramount. She should have gone herself. What had happened to them? How had Miles gotten separated from the rest? Had any of the other children been killed too? Had Bennet or Sal carried them away to die in the forest? Had Bennet been wounded and Miles came to find her? She had promised that she would be right behind them.

Why had she thought she must bring her staff?

Because she was just a gardener. She did not have the fighting skills or expertise of the others. In spite of years of training, she was no fighter. But with the aid of her wooden staff she thought she might be able to protect the children, perhaps, if their little group was not directly attacked. But now, in the face of utter loss, she knew that she would have been useless to save them, with or without that damned staff. There were too many soldiers and a much stronger mage. If she had gone with the apprentices, at least she could have died trying. At least she would not have outlived Miles.

Instead she had been trapped in the doorway, knocked down by the falling timbers and her arm pinned to the ground. How she had screamed as the fire climbed her arm! And still there was no one to help her. Screams were everywhere in the fort and outside of it and no one seemed to notice hers. She could not even remember how she managed to escape, how she had managed to flee to the woods. She could not remember anything until a soldier stood in front of her aiming an arrow at her heart, a soldier with an Inquisition mage at his side.

***

With her mana drained by the enemy mage and her good hand tethered to a soldier’s belt, she was helpless, useless, defenseless. She could do nothing with her bandaged arm, although it was slowly healing under the other mage’s attention. He was a healer. Why couldn’t she have been a healer? What use was gardening if her people died by fire and arrows? And now she would be killed too, or worse, made tranquil, alive in body but not in spirit. They would put the sunburst on her forehead and her personhood would be lost; she would become a mindless slave with no will of her own, a dead thing living on for years. There would be no more Sula Ronoy, just a body.

When the Circle had fled to the forests, they had never marched this much in a day. They had had to pace themselves for the children while the faster ones scouted ahead. These soldiers were used to long marches though, and they kept going on with no sign of flagging at all. Sula had never walked so much in her life. The female soldier dragging her along was the same one she had met the first morning after being captured, one who seemed to particularly hate mages, even their own healer Crispin. Perhaps she hated everybody. Sula certainly hated her.

But finally the sky was growing dim and soon there would be no light to see their way. They stopped for the night.

“Sit there,” the woman ordered, pulling Sula to a spot near the edge of their campsite. As Sula sank to the ground in relief, the woman pulled the tether on Sula’s wrist and lashed it to a tree.

“I need some water,” Sula begged.

“You’ll get some later.” And the woman left her, clearly glad to be rid of her charge.

Finally, Sula was alone. The soldiers were nearby, setting up camp and starting fires, but no one paid any attention to her. Her feet ached, her arm ached, her entire body ached. But now that she was still, her grief overflowed like a broken dam and drowned every bodily sense. Her friends were gone forever, the only family that she knew in the world. Her little boy was dead. Two of her friends were dead. She would be tortured for the deaths of those other soldiers until they broke her to betray her friends. They would make her say terrible things, and then they would hunt them down and kill them all, even the children.

We don’t kill children, their mage had said. But they did.

She could not even wipe her face with her good hand, tied as close as it was to the tree. It didn’t matter. She let the tears fall and she wept, curled on the ground in the mud of snowmelt.

*** “Mage! Wake up and eat.” The woman kicked Sula awake and set down a bowl of something hot. She was already walking away as Sula struggled to sit up. She looked at the bowl with confusion at first, reaching out the awkward paw of her heavily bandaged hand and tugging at the tether that trapped the other.

“Wait,” she called as the woman joined her comrades. “I can’t eat like this.”

The woman snorted. “Oho, does madam need a golden spoon?” The other soldiers laughed as she mimicked a bow, then she sat down to fill her own bowl. One of them called her by her name: Eklund.

“I can’t eat with my hand like this,” Sula insisted.

Eklund rolled her eyes. “No one said I’d be a wet nurse to feed a baby. Wait for your mage to come and help you.”

The healer mage who had betrayed her into this fate? The man who had lied when he promised her freedom? He was on the far side of the campsite. He had stayed away from her during the day’s march, and now he was continuing to keep his distance. Perhaps he had saved her life by treating her burned arm, through all its tortuous pain, but his prize was her capture for the Inquisition. He had used his power to drain her of her mana so she would be helpless and harmless. She was in no hurry to see him again.

Should she lap up the soup like a dog? In spite of crushing grief, she was hungry. The exhausting march had left her ravenous. But her bandaged hand could do nothing more than prod the bowl as it sat on the ground. She would have to wait. Fasting is good for you.

***

She awoke with a scream and tried to sit up, panicking, pain burning both of her hands. Her body was frozen but her hands were on fire. She screamed again as she discovered she could not move them.

The biggest most fearsome guard came rushing over, but for now his face was full of concern. “What is it?”

“My hand, I can’t feel my hand! It’s burning!”

The other soldiers were still sitting around their fire. She could not have been asleep for long. Eklund grumbled “She’s having nightmares and it’s barely even night yet.”

The big man stared down at her bandaged hand. “Oh. I’ll go and get the healer to take a look.”

“No! No, no, this hand!” She looked at her right hand tied to the tree. “I can’t move it, I can’t feel it! Please! It’s too tight!”

He hesitated, perhaps wondering if it was a trick, but when he touched her hand he could feel that it was hot and her fingers so swollen that they could barely move.

“Damn it, Eklund, you can’t tie her hand so tight! Sorry, missy. Don’t fret, don’t cry, you’ll be all right.” He was searching for the knots when he was interrupted.

“Rennick, what’s going on?”

Sula looked up and through the blur of her tears she saw the red hair of the healer mage Crispin.

“Oh, Mister Toast, the apostate girl was just complaining her hand was sore. I think it just got too tight here, I’ll fix it.”

And then she was released from the tree. The big soldier Rennick left her in the care of the healer who crouched down to examine her. He observed the swelling, the heat, the redness, and sent a cool glow from his own hand to hers. “Can you make a fist? Can you open and close your fingers? Move like this. It will feel better soon.”

Her panic subsiding, Sula nodded as she stretched her sore hand.

Crispin looked around and said “You don’t have a blanket?”

“Where would I get a blanket?” she retorted, tears still coloring her voice.

“I’m sorry. I’ll make sure that you get one.” He noticed the bowl of soup. “You didn’t eat?”

“How?” she demanded. “I couldn’t even pick it up.”

“I’m sorry. Here, can you hold it now?” He held it out for her good hand, now with enough slack in its tether to allow her movement. She reached out and awkwardly gripped the bowl. “I’ll make sure that doesn’t happen again.” His voice was dull and officious. He stared at her as she took a sip, and then he abruptly rose and left.

The broth was already cool as she drank it, but there were pieces of tough meat still warm within, and she was able to eat them with her fingers.

Rennick was sent to deliver a blanket.

***

On the second day her mind was fixed on what she would say under interrogation. There was no point in silence or denial. She would need to tell a convincing story, since the truth had not been enough. The officer had accused her of killing the soldiers, and then – was it afterwards? – he had asked her about blood magic. She was not a blood mage, but if it would save her friends to confess it, she would say that she was. She would take the blame for killing all the soldiers, but she was not even sure how such a thing worked. “I summoned a demon to kill everyone”? Between her waves of panic, she still felt grief and rage. Could she take down the healer with her lie too? He was leading her today, more considerate than Eklund for all that he tried to ignore her. She hated him at every painful step on the path, hated every inch of his back as he marched tirelessly ahead of her. She would go to the lieutenant as soon as she was able. She would shout for him in camp if she had to.

“Lieutenant! I am a maleficar, an abomination, a blood mage.”

“But our mage said that you were not.”

“That’s because he’s one too.”

No. It was a daydream, and she doubted anyone would believe that. If they had ever suspected Crispin, they would not have let him join the Inquisition. She needed an explanation that they would believe in order to protect her friends. The lieutenant already had his doubts, but she had heard that his commander was a Templar knight. A Templar would have to believe her confession, wouldn’t he? And then she would be dead and not so tired, not so hungry and not so completely full of grief.

***

Eklund had charge of her again on the third day. At times the snow was higher than the tops of Sula’s boots and it poured in and melted on her toes. They felt like frozen fire and distracted her from her other aches.

They were crossing the mountains by now, and many of the paths were narrow and tricky. Even Eklund slipped once or twice on the ice. In spring this area must full of waterfalls, and the ravine probably held a river. It reminded Sula that she was horribly thirsty.

You don’t need food, you just need some water. But water would make her need to relieve herself more often, and Eklund’s impatience was violent. You don’t need water, you just need…

A string of curses accompanied Eklund’s misstep, and she landed hard on her backside. Sula’s arm was jerked forward and she cried out as she fell as well. She managed to stumble against the soldier’s back. “Careful,” Eklund grunted. “It’s slippery.” Other soldiers helped them back to their feet.

It was indeed slippery there. It was a mountain and the path tended to slope to the side. There were trees to catch them most of the time, but in this space around the waterfall there was nothing but rocks and ice. Instead of a slope below the path, the drop was almost a precipice. If she were to fall – if she were to jump – she would have a clear shot to the rocks below, a steep enough plunge that she might break her neck or skull. Attached to the other end of her rope, Eklund would be pulled down with her.

Eklund will have to step on that flat rock. That rock is smooth and it looks icy. There, that short man nearly slipped on it. She’ll be pulled off her feet. I’ll step onto that boulder then over the side. See Miles, I told you I’d be right behind you.

“Here missy, don’t look down.” A large voice and massive person was behind her, wrapping his own arm around her good one. It was the big soldier, Rennick. The sudden touch shocked her from all of her thoughts. “No, no no, don’t be scared, miss! I’ve got you, I won’t let you fall. You just hold on to me and you’ll be safe, all right? Eklund, pass me the rope here. She’s too scared to move.”

*** By the fourth day, her feet were too sore to walk. Crispin was able to ease their pain, but her wet boots and stockings continued to chafe, inflaming the raw skin over and over. She was exhausted, hungry and thirsty all the time. The soldiers each carried their own water, but she had to beg for every sip.

You don’t need food, you just need water.

They would reach their destination tomorrow, they said.

At night it was always difficult to wrap herself in a blanket using only one hand. When everyone else seemed to be asleep that night, she pushed away her blanket and let the snow fall on her. With luck she would freeze to death in her sleep. She lay there for some time with her eyes closed, letting the cold chill her to the bone. She tried to fall asleep but could not control her shivering. And she had been wrong that everyone was sleeping. Someone walking through the camp noticed her, even in the dark. It must have been a sentry on watch. He brushed off the snow and covered her again, then built a small fire and sat down to watch her. Despite herself, she desperately welcomed the warmth. Then she felt the weight of a second blanket or cloak. When her shivering subsided at last, she fell asleep.

*** On the fifth day, she woke with an aching throat. This accompanied her inflamed feet, burned arm, exhausted body, aching head, chafed wrist, thirst and hunger. When they finally arrived at her prison, terror seized her at first. For all her stoicism of facing death for her friends, the prospect of imprisonment and torture in the chantry’s dungeon overcame her heart. She had screamed as they dragged her down to the depths, and the presence of a Templar guard further frightened her. Putrid smells and rats, damp straw and bitter cold all conspired to break her will, but at last the long march was over. She was utterly exhausted, and in the end not even fear could keep her awake. She fell asleep, then woke feeling thoroughly ill.

Everything was filth, including herself. For days already she had worn the same clothes; she was given no water to wash with, barely even enough water to drink. The blankets smelled like mildew. Even the bread they gave her tasted of filth. You don’t need food…

Her body fluctuated between burning and freezing. Every touch felt like a bruise. She coughed until she thought that her ribs would break.

But the five days in the cell dragged on like years, and still they did not come to interrogate her. She had heard tales of their brutal treatment of mages. What were they waiting for? Had they already sentenced her to die of neglect? She barely noticed her guards anymore. It was just the healer Crispin, now her only link to the world. He seemed kind sometimes now. She told him that she was ready to confess but he advised her against it; he seemed to know the spymaster and what she would want to hear.

“Do you have any water?” He did not.

He brought Sula blankets and tried to soothe her fever. He tended her burns and cut the tether off of her wrist. He acted like a real healer. She was grateful. His might be the last friendly face that she would ever see.

“Sula, won’t you eat something?”

No. The time for all of that was past. Swallowing anything was agony in her throat. All she wanted was to sleep forever. If they questioned her now she knew all would be lost, but she could not summon the will to care about her fate.

I’m already in my grave. “I’m not hungry.”

---

(Part 2 here)

[muuchstac-blog]

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[angeltherubiks]

A year on Testosterone

My journey as FTM began fully late oct 2018. That’s when I realized that I was indeed transgender. I was a little bit scared yet relived about this new development of my identity, but it didn’t take away the anxiety of it all. I worried what friends and especially family would think about me, and I assume the worst, excommunication, being disowned, going through the world moving forward alone, it is so scary especially cause I’ve heard so many others going through this fallout.

I’m happy to say it wasn’t the case, well at least with my friends. Some members of the family are having a hard time with it still, my dad especially but he was never queer friendly to begin with so I knew if all else, I would get backlash from him.

I officially started Testosterone mid July 2021. The changes I have gotten from T have been good, really good for me yet perplexing to some of my friends lol. The biggest change has been my confidence and anxiety. My confidence overall has gone up this past year and my anxiety has gone down. The best example was when I went to finally get my drivers license. In the eve of my drivers test my friend asked me how I was feeling about the test. I basically said I was feeling indifferent, not exactly that I don’t care but like, if I pass, I pass, if I don’t pass, I’ll just retake the test. It short circuited their brain cause they couldn’t understand how I wasn’t getting anxious about it. To be honest I did get anxious but only once the driving instructor got in the car.

Physically the changes I have gotten where what I was hoping for although some changes I was not expecting. Before starting T, me and my doc concluded that I have pcos so some changes most ppl would typically get in the beginning I won’t experience because I have already gotten it to an extent, which ended up being the case.

My skin became oily, I was dealing with acne to the degree that I had as a teenager. I started getting facial hair on my chin and it slowly made its way towards my neck. Right now, its working on my sideburns so im excited to see how soon my face can theoretically form a beard. Body hair wise the ones I do have have become longer and darker.  No real change about my hair line other than discovering u can get pimples at the back of ur head from the extra oil the body is now naturally producing.

My voice has gotten deeper. I was already in an androgynous voice range before starting T so I could emulate a guy voice after warming up my throat a bit. A few months in T I noticed that it was becoming easier to fall into the voice range and a month or so later I got proper a voice drop. Its hard to say if it will continue to drop. Data I have gathered from the voice analysis app says im pretty much there and strangers in general don’t question my voice, even over the phone.

There are now things I understand as to why guys dress in a certain way. The main one being wearing shorts even though it is cold outside. Simply put, the body is hot on T, temperature wise lol. I was already wearing mens clothing before starting T so nothing different otherwise.

Before starting T I was passing 50% of the time. Although I was constantly being clocked by moms at my retail job and while my job kinda knew me as a guy, a few ppl put to and to together that I was female (curse u job schedule posting legal names in the back room). I never did get flack for it, other then one of the managers coming up to clarify what gender I was cause admittedly, I never said. He was totally chill with it and even tried to help figure out the system so that the schedule wouldn’t deadname me.

The changes downstairs have been interesting. I didn’t know that I had in a way, already gotten a T-dick from pcos till I started testosterone. I was already half an inch and right now im about an inch, inch and half although its hard to judge since the base isn’t quite clear compared to normal cis dicks. The horniness has also been real, some days it felt like I needed my hand down my pants just to have some peace and quiet in my brain. Especially during the 3rd month.

I also discovered that you have a higher chance of getting a yeast infection on T, that was a fun two week experience. My doc explained that since the downstairs is changing, it is also freaking out a little and trying to rebalance itself hormone wise. While it wasn’t the cause, it increased it and I did something that while I normally wouldn’t have gotten any repercussions of, I ended up having to. For those wondering it was a combo of shaving the downstairs for the first time since starting T (I was four months in at that point) and using a bar of questionable bar of soap to shower with. Most likely it could have happened anyway with the bar of soap but it was still something that happened during my first year on T.

Medically I chose to do injections, althou originally, I thought I was gonna do inter muscular injections until I went to my doctors office for my injection training. That’s when I learned about subcuticular injections. I became less anxious about my shots after that due to the fact that I was already chubby so fat wise, I was golden lol. The biggest problem I had thou was getting syringes and needles. When I finally got the vial after being in insurance purgatory for 3 weeks, I realized that it was only the vial, when I asked the pharmacist about it, they said that they don’t sell needles over the counter, so I needed to get a script from my doctor. For one whole week I had that vial taunting me as I waiting for my doc to come back to me about the syringe and needle. Finally, I got the prescription but then I had a new problem. The initial four I got from the pharmacy was all that they had. Turns I was now part of a new shortage other people where facing, a shortage of 1ml syringes and 25g inch needles because those where the sizes everyone was using for the covid vaccines. This was in the height of everyone getting their covid vaccines so I was a bit fucked. I ended up getting a packet of 20 online from amazon. Right now things have calmed down I think supplies wise althou I haven’t tried getting them from the pharmacy again.

The injections themselves arnt too bad, at least for me. Althou the first injection was very intimidating. That needle was inside me a lot longer then it should have but I did it. I started off biweekly then switched to weekly after I got my first set of labs back. The excitement has gone down so it kinda feels like a mini chore that I must make sure I do every Friday. For the most part it’s not intimidating anymore. There was a brief period of a month mid-way in to the year where I was nervous about injecting after I had a couple of drops of blood come out of the injection site. It hasn’t happened since *knocks on wood* but I think if it does happen again, I won’t be as freaked out by it.

I also didn’t realize how much my background as a biology major would be starting T. I had some experience dealing with needles from a few lab experiments I had to do but by far the biggest tool was knowing my chemistry. Specifically on converting dosages to figure out how much per week someone was getting of their dosage. Less towards me and more towards other people on reddit or on the trans discord server who wanted number to compare each other with.

Finally, the mental changes. I mentioned before how I gained a boost in my confidence and a decrease in anxiety but there are a few other things as well that have change. Its hard to tell if some of these are due to T, age or dealing with the pandemic but I know one change for sure that is due to T. having no thoughts on the brain. Seriously just not thinking about anything. I kinda had this going already but very rarely. It was more like having a stoner thought where I just inspect either the setting or an object like thinking about the small details and just getting lost in thought. Kinda like observation mode. But now I get proper moments where there’s no thoughts in my head, legit not thinking of anything sort of like observation mode but I’m not taking notes like I would. It perplexes my friends though. One of them especially as she has never experience anything like that before and might have assumed I was lying when I replied with “nothing”.

I did had to relearn my anger as it became different being on T. not a bad different, more like the triggers of it changed and the response as well. So I had to briefly relearn the new triggers and how to prevent myself so I don’t accidentally go off on someone. Luckily, I caught it before I actually did but im still figuring it out a bit. Who would have thought being isolated due to a global pandemic would make it harder to get angry at socially.

I also noticed I don’t cry as much, granted even before T I only cried on average twice a year, typically once though. Funny enough its also going to be year since the last time I cried. I had a moment a week into T where I was super upset and ended up balling my eyes out. I wont get into details as to why I was upset, just that I was. It had nothing to do with me starting T and I’ll leave it at that. Not to say that was the last time tears left my eyes, my eyes get super watery from having wind blown on them or onions being cooked. But legit crying, haven’t really done it since that first week on T.

That’s about all the changes I can think of for this past year as far as testosterone changes goes. I hope this helps someone else going along the journey either starting or already on it. I wanna add my voice to the void of other FTM’s to help others in their journey. Especially since I’m not a Caucasian skinny person.

To whomever does read this, I hope ur journey goes well and there are less headaches in ur journey to being you.

Best wishes from ur fav online chubby 28 year old mex-american

[tasloveskk]

Some folklore thoughts 💭🌲✨🏳️‍🌈 

Part 1

 I’m going to take it song by song while also tracking key themes in red! Please also feel free to add in your thoughts in the comments, I’m curious to see what else people think folklore is about...

folklore

‘folklore’ is defined as “a body of popular myths or beliefs relating to a particular place, activity, or group of people.” or, by Steve from Taylor’s IC,”the traditional beliefs, customs, and stories of a community, passed through the generations by word of mouth.” Taylor herself in her introduction/prologue says  “A tale that becomes folklore is one that is passed down and whispered around. Sometimes even sung about. The lines between fantasy and reality blur and the boundaries between truth and fiction become almost indiscernible. Speculation, over time, becomes fact. Myths, ghost stories, and fables. Fairytales and parables. Gossip and legend. Someone’s secrets written in the sky for all to behold.”

the 1

- firstly, it’s the best opening track she’s ever had! 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

- “I’m doing good, I’m on some new shit” = sounds to me like a conversation you have with an ex, like someone is saying “yeah I’m doing great, I’m dating/doing ‘x’” the first time they run into their ex in a while.

-“I thought I saw you at the bus stop” has BIG “this city screams your name” energy but is also very clever by Taylor because Miss Karlie Kloss is ALWAYS on advertisements on bus stops/literal buses around the globe 🚌

- “I hit the Sunday matinee” to me seems like an inside thing, because obviously as the world biggest pop star, if taylor is going to go to the theatre or cinema, she’ll pick the least busy and most filled with older people which would be the Sunday matinee.

- “you know the greatest films of all time were never made” —> the greatest love stories never get told? happen behind the scenes? There’s something deeper here but I’m still forming the cohesive idea!

- “if you wanted me you really should’ve showed” = showed up or showed for the world, either way Taylor wanted KK to chose her not Josh so they could work but that didn’t happen so now she’s left to wonder.

- “roaring twenties” evokes two clear images for me! 1. They were both in their 20s for the entiretyof their relationship, the best years were spent together and 2. The Roaring 20s were a time of independence, pushing boundaries and breaking the rules of prohibition - which is basically what Taylor and Karlie were doing behind the scenes.

- “if my wishes came true, it would’ve been you” = let’s say, ONLY FOR ARGUMENTS SAKE, that Taylor really IS with Toe, that still means that this song is her yearning for someone else who she always loves more AND had to lose at some point. Looking at her past beards “relationships”, there are only two plausible options - Joe (which seems unlikely seeing as they’re still “together”) or CH who she supposedly wrote “you would’ve been the one if you were a better man” about. Either way doesn’t seem like it fits. However, if you look at it as Karlie is the 1, it becomes clear - it would’ve been fun being best friends and lovers for ever baking cookies and dancing around the kitchen, it would’ve been forever if Karlie hadn’t “married” jerk, it would’ve been her and it still is. 💗

- “in my defense I have none, for never leaving well enough alone” & “I know that I went psycho on the phone, I never leave well enough alone” are about the same moment with the same person = she didn’t leave well enough alone because she kept writing about Karlie and re-engaging us Kaylors as well as I’m sure, she kept up with seeing Karlie or keeping tabs on her to the point where it forced someone to reach out to the other.... she can’t apologise or defend her actions because you can’t explain the things you do for true love.

- “I have this dream you’re doing cool shit” aka starting a podcast, expanding businesses, making headway as an entrepreneur and being a highly-paid and respected international model? Seems straight forward 👀

- “you meet some woman on the Internet and take her home” = 1. Karlie is specifically interested in tech and the internet, it is literally her entire business and 2. if Karlie and Tay did break up, then because Karlie is actually NOT married to Josh, she hooked up with someone she met through the internet somehow (probs social media not an app) and Taylor found out this is probably a snarky comment about that from a jealous ex. Could possibly also be about the dream mentioned above. 💔🔐

- “another day waking up alone” = lost her lover, sleeps alone? Bold claim on opening tack.

- “persist and resist” = very famous feminist saying, civil rights/political echo?

- “the temptation to ask you if one thing had been different, would everything be different today” = this what if mentality continues through the album but personally, I think this is about Kissgate.

- “Rosé flowing with your chosen family” = repeats later, your chosen family could refer to Karlie’s group of friends like Derek and Jourdan etc.

- “would’ve been sweet if it could’ve been me” = flipped perspective, wishes Karlie chose her.

- “dragging up the grave another time” = firstly, THAT pin on her EW jacket now makes more sense. second, Taylor has written about Karlie for 4 straight albums now, she hasn’t let their love story die even if they did.

-

cardigan

- “brand new phone” = this is not some story, this is current reality. Taylor hides behind era-specific language and imagery in some other songs but this one is clearly about here and now, and her.

- “sensual politics” to me stands out because only really here and in TLGAD is politics explicitly mentioned and sensual politics to me screams sleeping with someone for political gain or with political connections which certainly sounds like someone...

- “when you’re young, they assume you know nothing” = sounds to me like a lot like a) love story and b) “you don’t know you’re gay, it’s just a PHASE! you’ll grow out of it!” 🏳️‍🌈

- “chase 2 girls, lose the one” = supposedly, when KK and TS met, Taylor was still in love/entangled with Dianna so perhaps she’s reflecting on making the wrong choice?

- CIWYW links: my baby’s high above the whole scene—> heartbeat on the high line, tidbit:as is clear in both Lover & 1989 New York is a sacred place for TS and KK’s love story, the high line is a) a beautiful NYC icon and b) right in between the girls’ two places...

- as mentioned, miss Karlie ELIZABETH Kloss was the brand model for Levi’s and definitely has worn some sequins and black lipstick on cobblestones sooooo.... 🤷🏼‍♀️

- “you drew stars around my scars” = see Drake’s birthday party and the infamous third Polaroid mystery 👀

- “stepping on the last train” could mean one of two things to me; 1. The last resort for KK was marrying J*sh or 2. the last train could represent some goodbye the girls had where KK chose something/someone else over Taylor.

- “peter losing Wendy” is such an interesting metaphor on so many levels but specifically, Wendy loses Peter because she wakes up (from nearly dying but nvm) and grows up and stops believing in Neverland and magic, basically Wendy loses an attachment to Peter because her reality shifts and that’s what gets remembered especially in the Disney version of the story. HOWEVER, the opposite is also true meaning Peter Pan loses Wendy because he can never co-exist with her again, he can never grow up or bring her back to Neverland without either killing her or ruining her. So this idea that someone wanted to change the ending from peter losing Wendy because he had to do what was best for her because he loved her echoes as Karlie didn’t want to marry Jerk or hurt Taylor but had to in order to protect her. Right? 😅

- “leaving like a father, running like water” = Taylor’s parents got divorced and there’s SOME thoughts Scott left the house and Taylor lives with her Mom in Nashville in her teen years.

- “I knew everything when I was young” - Taylor has always know she was LGBT+ 🌈 and also, baby VSFS vibes because as we all know, “we were both young when I first saw you...” send tweet.

- “I knew you’d come back to me” hopefully, HOPEFULLY foreshadows the girls being together/coming out soon !!!!!!! 🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼

- music video wise, I’ll do a break down soon.

TLGAD

- ‘Rebekkah’ refers to the previous owner of Taylor’s Watch Hill, RI house, Rebekah Harkness. She was a divorcee until marrying Standard Oil heir William (aka Bill) Hale Harkness, a new-money dynasty was formed in this time from their profit. There are MANY wild, whimsical stories about ‘Betty’ (which is obviously an extended metaphor of folklore)  that this song tries to re-create/recapture.  

- Taylor is also known as ‘Becky’ due to the popular meme so this is quite literally a play on her own character as well as the previous inhabitants of the house.

- St Louis is not only Rebekkah’s hometown, but also Karlie Elizabeth Kloss’. 

- “the wedding was charming, if a little gouche” seems like a direct shot fired at Karlie’s woodsy photoshoot of 2018 😂😂(ironically, folklore’s key aesthetic is the woods!!)

- “it must’ve been her fault his heart gave out” refers explicitly to William dying of a heart attack in the house, but subtly I feel like this is a dig at the media who constantly blame women for things they cannot control, as they have done with Taylor too many times to even count. 

- “who knows if she never showed up, what could’ve been” seems like Taylor is stuck thinking about what may have happened for her and Karlie if things had been different, see the 1. 

- “she/I had a marvellous time ruining everything” is such an incredibly provoking lyric on two fronts, 1. obviously taylor buying her RI house had a massive impact on an otherwise sleepy holiday town that is now more famous for Taylor’s july 4 parties than anything else and 2. seems introspective or personal, as if the things that ruined everything for Karlie and Taylor were the best and most marvellous parts of their relationship (big sur, kissgate etc.) 

- “flew in all her bitch pack friends from the city” is not only about the friends and celebs Rebekkah was notorious for hosting but also Taylor’s ‘bitches and model’ girl gang circa 2015 which includes one Karlie Kloss. 

- “blew through the money on the boys and the ballet” refers to Rebekkah’s love of wasting her fortune on things, including a ballet company that went under not long after she created it BUT also refers to Taylor paying so many boys to be her beards and PR stunts whilst also spending her money on a certain ex-Ballerina. Also remember her AMA’s performance of Lover/ bts of Shake It Off? 😉😉😉

- “50 years is a long time” - 50 seems deliberate, a bit of a reach but note it WAS the 50th anniversary of Stonewall last year. 🏳️‍🌈

-  “free of women with madness, their men and bad habits and THEN IT WAS BOUGHT BY ME.” - this clearly shows that ALL the songs are being narrated by Taylor, some of the lyrics are about her, some are about these fictional or fantastical characters she’s created but there is her truth behind all of them too. 

- “the loudest woman this town has ever seen” = Taylor is undoubtedly the most famous woman in the town who regualrly causes uproar there (see the Sea Wall debacle and the Taylor Swift Tax)

- in all, the two famed women owner’s of Holiday House have many overlaps and are forever intertwined. 

exile

- “i can see you standing honey with his arms around your body” as the opening line is LOUD. to me, feels like this is about ALL those staged photos of Josh and Karlie uncomfortable/fake as hell on social media. 

- “laughing but the joke’s not funny at all” is something we’ve all thought about Karlie’s marriage before and is about that moment where if you don’t laugh, you’ll cry at the situation. 

- “it took you 5 whole minutes to pack up ... holding all this love out here in the hall” to me is about someone moving out of a shared home, like Karlie from Taylor’s NYC apartment, after a break up or fight. We know it is MORE than likely that the girls’ broke up, for a while or for good, in 2017/18. 

- “I think I’ve seen this film before, and didn’t like the ending” is a lot like “Cause cruelty wins in the movies, I've got a hundred thrown-out speeches I almost said to you” / “All of my heroes die all alone.” which makes me truly believe that delicate > the archer > exile are all the progression of the same love story.  ❤️

- “now I’m in exile seeing you out” = both of them have lost their home, exiled from the relationship.

- “I can see you staring honey, like he’s just your understudy” has a lot to unpack. Firstly, see this photo. Second, as a beard, Joe is quite literally Karlie’s understudy - stepping in only to fill a public void or play her part when she can’t. 

- “like you’d get your knuckles bloody for me” is basically this tweet

- “second, third and hundredth chances” - hopefully this means the girls WILL be together again soon!!! 

- “those eyes add insult to injury” - Taylor has often made explcit reference to her lover’s eyes, but this could also mean the eyes of the public on her every move and relationship not allowing her to properly grapple with break ups. 👁️

-  “i’m not your problem anymore, so who am i offending?” - homophobes love to say wlw or mlm relationships “offend” them or their beliefs, so who could taylor be offending if she’s publicly in a straight relationship? 

- “you were my crown”, Taylor was/is Karlie’s princess, if Karlie is gone, Taylor doesn’t feel like she’s a princess anymore. Likewise, Karlie is Taylor’s sunshine which makes the moody, misty, dark aesthetics all the more relevant to this album. 

- “so I’m leaving out the side door’ - this side door? the other side of the door?

- “all of this time, we always walked a very thin line” between outing themselves and being happy? 

- “I gave so many signs” - Taylor has queercoded EVERY album since her self-titled, she has been dropping hints and signs for years that she is LGBT+ so it must be exhausting to have to keep hiding who she loves. This is repeated so many times - it means a lot. 

- written with William Bowery who nobody can quite identify, but Karlie and Taylor have been to the Bowery many times together and William is mentioned earlier in TLGAD

- this whole song is a duet, a two-sided conversation between lovers - her and karlie both without each other. 

my tears ricochet

- Track 5 is, as per usual, deeply confessional, personal, emotive and moving. 😿😿

- there are lots of theories and layers to this masterpiece of a song, including that it’s in reference to big machine. I personally think every single song of Taylor’s is made up of layers that reflect multiple things in her life and experience so plausibly it can be about multiple things all at once including Sco** and Scumbag as well as Karlie, who was under Scumbag’s management for the majority of the decade. Another theory which with every new listen I think is more and more possible is that this is alternating between Taylor and Karlie’s perspectives. 

- ‘if i’m on fire, you’ll be made of ashes too” whoever is associated with Taylor will ALWAYS be dragged down with her. If she’s being attacked, they will be too. Big 2016 energy. 

- “even on my worst day, did I deserve babe, all the hell you gave me?” could be directed at a lover, or at Big Machine, or even the public for all the shit they’ve said about Taylor over the years. 

- “I swear I loved you ‘till my dying day” seems a lot like the 1, as well as could be about the music and the label she helped build. 

- “I didn’t have it within myself to go with grace.” Taylor was LOUD about her split from Big Machine, she called them out (rightly) and made noise which is not a ‘graceful’ split. 

- “you’re the hero flying around saving face” very easily is about S+S jackasses but deeper than that, while Taylor was under immense attack and criticism, everyone who actually like her music pretended suddenly to hate it and her to stay ‘cool’ 

- “cause if I’m dead to you why are you at the wake?” this lyric becomes especially important in the final verse but essentially those who publicly distanced themself from Taylor still showed up when she was thriving again and/or because they actually truly loved her *uhmm karlie uhmm* 

- “cursing my name, wishing I stayed” either at Big Machine or with Karlie/Taylor. 

- “some to make a diamond ring” > firstly we still have never understood the ring image from the LWYMMD and ME! videos, it is entirely possible this is a continuation of that same symbol/image. Second, I think this hints to Karlie getting ‘engaged’ while still being with Taylor, the rock for the ring in the song was found by the two people gathering stones after all. 

- “you know i didn't want to have to haunt you” both Taylor and Karlie have big reputations all over the world that follow them everywhere. For either one, they will always be haunted by reminders of each other. 

- “you wear the same jewels that I gave you as you bury me” - on the Big Machine side, Taylor made the label professional and big, she is literally the sole reason it succeeded in the music industry so she handed Sco** his fortune and reputation which he still had when he sold her music to Scumbag and got into a very dirty bed with him. From the Karlie side, many people have noted that not only does she wear her black cartier necklace, which is assumed to be from Taylor, but to her ‘wedding’ wore a necklace she’d worn before with Taylor. 

- “when I’d fight you’d tell me I was brave” could refer to Sco** encouraging her in 2016 to defend herself. Could refer to Karlie supporting her behind the scenes. 

- ‘and I can go anywhere I want, just not home” seems like a continuation from exile, as in she’s lost the place she called home because her lover is no longer there but could also mean she can’t go back to her other albums and the house (see the lover music video) that they created as her musical home.

- “you will still miss me in your bones” could be about Sco** losing his money and label without her there to physically support and carry it or about the fact that the love Taylor and Karlie had is so ingrained it’s in their bones forever. 

- “and i still talk to you when I’m screaming at the sky” this lyric has a lot of possible interpretations (i’ve seen one about cursing out God?) but i think it’s similar to “asking the traffic lights if i’ll be alright” as in, it’s Taylor asking the universe to help her make sense of things. 

- “when you can’t sleep at night, you hear my stolen lullabies” suggests a) sco** + scumbag is still haunted by the music they stole from Taylor because it was literally the backbone of the business which is now practically worthless and b) that Karlie is kept awake by the songs Taylor has written for and about her over the years which again were stolen away by the jackasses at Big Machine.  

- “you had to kill me, but it killed you just the same” again, same idea - big machine will never be profitable without her/while they hold her masters hostage. BUT Karlie wise, breaking up with Taylor broke her too? 

- this is where the song changes. it shifts from Taylor’s story to someone else’s, personally I think Karlie. 

- “you turned into your worst fears” as in she settled for the money and sold her values off by marrying Josh. Also, Karlie was under Scumbag’s management for years (part of Taylor’s hatred of him was him keeping the girls’ from doing as they pleased) so by being completely controlled by him, she turned into this completely fake person. Contrast 2014/15 Karlie with 2017/18 Karlie and it so much more all about PR and money. 

- “you’re tossing out blame, drunk on this pain, crossing out the good years” - sco** and scumbag have made so many false excuses for their behaviour and completely erased the good relationship between the Swifts and sco**. Not sure yet what the Karlie side is here but it’s here somewhere. 

- in conclusion, this is about Big Machine and Karlie. As the first song Taylor wrote for the album, I think it’s clear just how incredibly multi-faceted this album is. ☕☕☕

mirrorball

- first off, we can never forget about this and this look from both girls. ✨✨

- “I’ll to show you every version of yourself tonight”, the public and the private sides to them both. this is big glass closet energy in my opinion 

- “and when I break it’s in a million pieces” is so personal and heartbreaking. 2016 and Kaylor breakup vibes. I cannot elaborate at this time. 

- “when no one is around my dear” = the secrecy, forbidden love motif returns and again, if she’s in a hetero relationship, what’s to hide? 

- “you’ll find me on my tallest tiptoes”, Just an fyi, Karlie, a giraffe, is 6′2″, Taylor is 5′10″ -- thats a big difference. 🦒🦒🦒

-  “i know they said the end is near” = end of the relationship or the end of hiding it, either way, it’s a romantic last private moment together, swaying as the room burns down. 

- “i can change everything about me to fit in” = Taylor when she was starting out was forced to create this all innocent, american-girl image of herself. She has had to hide herself to succeed, as she said in Miss Americana, she was muzzled. 

- “you are not like the regulars, the masquerade revelers” = Karlie is different to everyone else, or any other ex, ‘masquerade’ implies masked or hidden figures at a party, very Love Story 

- “and the called off the circus, burned the disco down” = the ‘circus’ could be the media/public, or all the illusions Taylor has cast in order to appear straight. The ‘disco’, and Taylor is the ‘mirror ball’ to her lover means that this isolated existence of just the two of them. 

- “I’m still on that tightrope, I’m still trying everything” for now, she’s still closeted, she’s still trying to have the best of everything. 

- “I’m still a believer, but I don’t know why” believer in everything working out perhaps, or perhaps believing it’s better if she’s in the closet and it’s only the two of them. 

- “never been a natural” = she has completely created herself through years off trying to be what people want, not who she naturally is. 

seven

- “picture me” implies this is retrospective of Taylor, she’s reflecting on her childhood/youth. 

- “I hit my peak at Seven” could either refer to the age 7 or album 7, ‘Lover’ which many critics argued was her best work. 

- “Over the creek I was too scared to jump in” = fear of jumping is something Taylor has discussed in many songs but this is different, the creek represents something she fears will drown her.

- “High in the sky with Pennsylvania under me” = obviously, Taylor was born and raised in rural PA, so this truly is a childhood memory unearthed and explored. It’s personal to Taylor, it’s her story. 👏🏼

- “Are there still beautiful things?”  Recognizing the world isn’t all daisies and rainbows 

- “cross your heart, don’t tell no other” = again, secret keeping and hiding something is a big queer image, ‘cross your heart’ is a quite childish phrase but it’s adult equivalent in Taylor’s world is an NDA, ie swearing people to secrecy is something she's always known... 🔐

- “Although i can’t recall your face, I still got love for you” = this childhood love has faded with time to memories, this girl simultaneously forgotten and remembered. 

- “Your braids like a pattern” = definitely about a girl (1996 rural Pennsylvania was not the kind of place where boys had braids), specific use of YOUR pronoun not ‘my’ or ‘our’ suggesting again it’s about a girl. Very obviously about a first girl crush. 🌈 

- “passed down like folk songs, the love lasts so long” = firstly, reference to Neruda’s poem Taylor used in the red prologue. second, folksongs change slightly from generation to generation but the heart/melody remains the same meaning that in Taylor’s mind, the story of her first girl love has changed but it’s still the same song/story all the years later. also, clearly a reminder of the setting of the song and the album as a whole being folklore. 💛

- “your dad is always mad and that must be why” feels a lot like Love Story and forbidden love, also again rural Pennsylvania in the mid-1990s was not the most liberal place so I can imagine a lot of homophobic ideas that perforated Taylor’s childhood.

- “I think you should come live with me” is such an innocent image of someone in love and wanting to just fix things by bringing them home, it also is like a baby gay version of uhauling 

- “we could be pirates” = pirates are not just a childhood image/motif but also one historically seen as gay, gangs of pirates often had ‘mateolage’ agreements that basically were like widow’s benefits. See John Swann. ☠️

- “you won’t have to cry, or hide in the closet.” = I think this one is explicitly clear but just to be sure, Taylor could’ve said “hide when he lost it, hide if you wanted, hide in the woods too” etc. Read this for a full understanding of why it such a LOUD image to use.  It is VERY DELIBERATE PEOPLE. 🌈🌈🌈

- “just like a folk song, our love will be passed on” = different from the first bridge but deliberate again. Their story, aka Taylor liking girls from a young age will always be talked about, AND their love lives in this song she wrote.

- “picture me in the weeds before I learned civility” = again, given the homophobic attitude, ‘civility’ and straightness should be read as the same so Taylor is saying when she was a child, free in the grass and herself, she wants to always be. 

- “I used to scream ferociously any time I wanted” = she wasn’t muzzled as a child, she could say and be who she wanted, screaming it aloud for everyone to hear but that changed as she grew up. 

- “pack your dolls and a sweater, we’ll move to India forever” = ‘dolls’ again would imply it’s two girls running away together and India is this exocitc far off place to a child, a place where they can be together without anyone knowing them or controlling them. 

August

- Karlie Kloss is born in August. Karlie Kloss posted yesterday about being a Leo (an August born). August belongs to Karlie Kloss. 🦁♌

- “rust on your door” = image of something well-worn, perhaps someone who’s been here too a few times before?

- “whispers of are you sure?” = obviously there is the sexual connotation, but beyond that, what if it’s about Taylor and Karlie going public etc. 

- “never have I ever before” = see above but also the game ‘never have I ever’ evokes youthfulness and sounds almost like a reminder of a fun night with friends. 

- “I can see us lost in the memory” = implies they’re still together, losing themself in the memory together

- “I can see us twisted in bedsheets” = again, sexual imagery but also the intimacy of sharing a bed with the person you love after sex 

- “Like a bottle of wine” = matures the song a bit, the youthfulness of earlier is now more adult. 21 is America’s drinking age, 20s were mentioned early etc. 🍷

- “Cause you were never mine” = the whole of Taylor and Karlie’s relationship, Karlie has publically been dating Josh so she was never solely Taylor’s. 

- “Will you call when you’re back at school?” = Karlie attended NYU in 2015, the height of Kaylor. 

- “back when we were still changing for the better” = instead of changing to adapt/survive or keep up appearances. 

- “wanting was enough” = wanting Karlie without labels was enough, rather than having to go public etc. Many have said for a long time that Karlie and Taylor fought about coming out or not. 

- “cancel plans in case you would call” = sounds like a very love-sick Taylor Swift thing to do. Also waiting on a lover’s call when they constantly are travelling like both Karlie and Taylor do makes sense. ☎️

- “so much for summer love” = cruel summer echo? Summer 2015 was again, peak Kaylor so this could be a specific reference to that period

- “Do you remember? Remember when I pulled up and said ‘get in the car’” another specific reference, comes up again later in Betty, clearly is something personal. 

- “Back when I was still living for the hope of it all” = back as in the past when everything was happening, hope of it all being the hope they’d still end up together. 

TO SUM UP PART 1:

BENEATH ALL FICTION OR MYTH IS FACT & FEELING. Taylor is no longer hiding. Yes, some of these songs are about stories and people not her but there is so much of herself and her own story layered in too. PAY ATTENTION!!! Obviously, these are just my opinions, I’m not Taylor so I cannot know exactly what these songs are about but I think, after years of analyzing her music, these images/themes and deliberate word choice are well-versed in this part of the fandom. It is entirely possible this is the beginning of Taylor’s full, public coming out journey. 

I’ll be back with Part 2 tomorrow.  Stay Tuned!

[silvermoongirl10swfics]

OC designs 3/10

(These were all made on Picrew, https://picrew.me/image_maker/565738)  These squads featured more prominently in the Clone Wars Senior Padawan Obi-Wan Kenobi series, but they have also had smaller cameos in the Vopak AU series. I will give short information about them in this post, but if you search on this blog using their squad name, you will get more detailed information about them.

Centre squad - batchmates:

Trip (CT-1891) - Trip has military regulation black hair and is clean shaven. He earned his name because he was constantly tripping over his own feet. He was the second member of the batch to earn his name.

Trace (CT-2018) - Trace has military regulation black hair and is clean shaven, although his face is often smeared with engine oil, despite the fact he is not an engineer who works in the Negotiator hanger. Trace is the defacto leader of the batch, and can come across as a bit harsh and a bit of a bully. But he loves his batchmates dearly, so don’t let his prickly demeanour fool you.

Worrywart (CT-2315) -  Worrywart has military regulation black hair and is clean shaven, he likes looking the same as his other brothers. He was the first in the batch to get his name, as he is a constant worrier. Did he pass the test? Are his batchmates happy? Is Theo coping alright after the war? There is always something for him to worry about. His nickname is Wart, which he doesn’t really like, but he understands that his name is a bit of a mouthful.

Trigger (CT-1897) - Trigger has longish black hair and is clean shaven. He earned his name because in training he loved working with blasters, he did not name himself Blaster because so many brothers had already chosen that name. He is the marksman of his batch and while he is a bit of a lone-wolf, he loves that his entire batch were assigned to the 212th.

Theo (CT-2085) - Theo has shaggy black hair and is clean shaven. Theo is the studious one of the batch, he has a good memory and enjoys learning new things. He is a little quiet and the introvert of the batch. However, when he discovers something that interests him and when he is alone with his batch he is a chatterbox, often keeping his batchmates awake longer than they would have liked, but they never tell him to be quiet.

Foxtrot squad - batchmates:

Needle (CT-1455) - Needle has short military regulation red hair. He is a medic assigned to the 212th Attack Battalion. During medic training on Kamino, he became best friends with Painkiller. Needle ironically had a fear of needles and when he got put into medic training on Kamino he fainted. (I found a picture of the medic symbol and pasted it onto Painkiller’s picture.)

Trapper (CT-1816) - is a canon clone from the 212th Attack Battalion, Ghost Company, Waxer’s platoon. I could not find his CT number, so I created him one using the same system I use to create my OC clones’ CT numbers. In my Clone Wars senior padawan Obi-Wan series, Trapper earned his name because he is always getting trapped somewhere. His sleeping pod on Kamino or various supply cupboards, doesn’t matter what, if it can be locked, Trapper will get trapped there.

Meteor (CT-1352) - Meteor has military regulation blonde hair and is assigned to the 212th Attack Battalion, Ghost Company, Waxer’s platoon. Meteor is the dreamer. He plans to one day travel the galaxy after the war and visit as many planets as he can. During the war, and after, he picks up the first rock he sees on a new planet and keeps it as a memento. Meteor is the one who keeps an eye on his friends/brothers. He also tends to keep Blackeye in line when his brother is about to do something impulsive.

Runner (CT-1821) - Runner has military regulation black hair and a beard. He is assigned to the 501st Legion, Torrent Company. Runner got his name because he was the fastest runner in his batch and also the one who loved endurance training and anything that involved running.

Blaster (CT-1211) - Blaster has military regulation black hair and a scruff beard. He is assigned to the 501st Legion, Torrent Company. He got his name because he was always enthusiastic about using blasters in training and they are his favourite weapon.

[astrophilic-soul]

Just a Little Spice

New Delhi, India

March 14, 2018

11:00 A.M.

26°C (80°F)

India sighed heavily and used a napkin in his pocket to wipe sweat off his forehead. The World Summit was taking place in New Delhi in the summer (very stupid idea) and everyone was on the edge of a heatstroke. The World Summit was tomorrow and everyone was informed of the summit last minute, so of course everyone rushed to arrive in India. As everyone knows, stress + heat + heavy air pollution is never a good mix especially when the people who you are hosting aren’t used to the country they’re in. India tried his best to take everyone to their hotels without them fainting on him, most countries took his help and got to their hotel on time, and some of the more Independent countries who insisted they could go through Indian Traffic on their own soon came back to him minutes later asking him how they could cross the road without getting run over by a car.

India still hadn’t gotten word from 2 countries if they had gotten to their hotels or not and he was stressed. One part of him, the old man part, told him that he should just leave and go back to his house and the other, the what he called “stupid and innocent” part of him, told him to wait 30 more minutes before he went back. Of course India followed the “stupid” side and waited in front of the airport sitting under an old banyan tree.

“Ahh, Manu! There you are you little rascal! I haven’t seen you in 2-3 years and you still look like you eat no food! You are so skinny beta! I should tell your mother to feed you more!” a man with a dark blue turban and a long white beard playfully scolds. India’s actual name was Amar, given by his older siblings (who are now dead) who never referred to him by an actual name but instead called him “immortal” because of how slowly he aged compared to his siblings. He had to often change it from time to time depending of where he was and the time period, he chose more common names so it wasn’t easy to look up a record of him and so he wasn’t as easy to remember.

“My amma’s been feeding me a lot uncle Raj, it’s me who won’t get chubby,” India chuckled remembering a memory where the old woman who made him eat a whole bowl full of rice, “She even ranted to some old auntees next door on how she could never poke my cheeks when I was younger because they were basically black holes.”

“Ahh, old Aditi is still there? What’s she doing now days?” He asked leading Manu to his little food stall.

“She’s still yelling at the kids next door for hitting wheels down the road and disturbing the cows if that’s what you’re asking.” Manu replies trying to shake the man’s tight grip off him.

“Ha! I knew Aditi was still the old woman I knew!” The man laughs and then walks to the other side of the small stall, “Now Manu, choose whatever you want to eat I’ll give it for free ok?”

“No no no, uncle it’s fine I can pay, I can’t just take food from you for free!” Manu blurted out as he took the money out of his wallet.

“No beta, don’t worry just take it! It’s been a while since you came to New Delhi! Consider it a welcome gift! Now pick so I can get it ready.” Raj replied with a big warm smile on his face.

“No uncle, I have to pay, it would be rude of me to just not pay an-" India was interrupted by Raj who spoke over him.

“No, it would be rude of me to not to give you something after this long trip, just tell me what you want or I’ll personally call Aditi and ask her if you could have a free food.” Raj passive aggressively stated.

“Eh, ok uncle, I’ll have one milagai bajji.” Manu told him after disappointedly putting away his wallet.

“Oh, southern this time eh? How long has it been since you went south beta?” Raj asked while putting the bajji in oil.

“Uhhh 3 years? I haven’t felt like traveling a lot this year. Why are you asking uncle?” Manu recalled, a bit nostalgic.

“You look all nostalgic, that’s why I’m asking,” Raj mumbled while fishing the bajji out of the hot oil and quickly transferred it into a bowl to let it cool and to let the oil come off. He then picked up some of the old newspaper clippings behind him, shaped it into a cone and put the bajji inside, “Ok, here you go beta. Eat all of it ok, I made it extra crispy for you!”

“Thank you uncle! I have some co-workers to track down so I have to go look for them, I’ll see you later!” India thanked Raj and quickly rushed back to the tree. Sure he wasn’t that far from the tree but they could miss him and could’ve thought he left.

India sat down at the tree and pretended he never moved in the first place. He whipped out his bajji packet and opened it and inside he saw the bajji along with a small note inside. He fished the folded note out of the packet. The oil from the bajji did get on the note so it was a bit obscured but he figured the language the note was in was Punjabi.

“Hey Manu! It’s me Apurva, or if you don’t remember, I’m Raj’s wife! Remember that time that you came over to our house and took care of the kids while I worked (remember how I thanked you like there was no tomorrow?). Me and Raj just want to let you know that you can stay at house if you ever need to or if you just want to stay at our house. And I know you might not care but the kids really miss you, so we hope you come around!

Anyway thank you for talking to us and helping us out Manu, we both see you as our own son and we wish you would visit us more often (Raj is asking if you can call over Aditi because he wants to talk to that old woman on the food she’s giving you haha)!

Thank you and We hope to see you soon!

-Apuva Raj”

India couldn’t control his smile as he read the note, he couldn’t believe that Apurva and Raj were so kind to him when he only helped out a few times. India decided to definitely come around to meet the kids again, it’s been a 2 years after all, they were 10 years old now. It was best he go back before they thought he had just abandoned them.

“Hey India, there you are mate! We’ve been looking for ya’ everywhere!” An Australian voice called out. India quickly pushed the note into his breast pocket and turned around to face Australia and New Zealand.

“Right, why didn’t you just call me?” India tiredly mumbled.

“Oh, Australia here thought he could find a way through the city himself.” New Zealand replied bluntly.

***

India- Manu/Amar

Raj and Apuva are just random OCs! I kinda wanted to do an interaction between them. Also this isn’t an actual story, I wrote it so I could flesh him out in my mind. I might do one with an actual plot later though!

[mrfog5]

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[healthyandfitness-diy]

via HEALTHY AND FITNESS https://ift.tt/2I30AbG

Baldness

Causes Of Baldness: NATURAL HOME REMEDIES FOR BALDNESS AND HAIR LOSS

Nearly every man and woman desire long, thick, and strong hair. Hair loss is a common problem with men and women across the world. A partial or complete loss of hair or lack of growth of hair leads to baldness. Baldness is a common disease in men. However, many women are now infected by this disease. Baldness causes your hair to fall off much and your face grows older. This causes you to worry and lose confidence. Baldness becomes an obsession for you. Therefore, finding the cause and treatment of baldness is always considered a necessity for many people.

Some people who are conscious about their hair immediately resort to preventive measures. Others who do not care about it eventually end up being bald or with patches. In most of the cases, people resort to gels, creams, oral medications, etc. But there are home remedies that have given promising results to many men and women without leaving any side effects. The ingredients are completely natural and easily available in our homes. These home remedies can not only prevent hair loss, but also can even promote hair growth, strength, and shine.

Here we will share basic information on the cause of baldness, and find the best treatment for you, so that you can quickly regain your confidence.

WHAT IS BALDNESS?

 Hair loss is a normal process that anyone encounters at any age. A normal human being can lose nearly 100 hair strands per day without any significant worry; however, losing more than 200 on a regular basis should attract immediate attention. Hair fall, if within normal limits, is a regular process. As new hair grows, old ones give way by falling off. Usually, lost hair is replaced by new ones from the same hair follicle.However, there are cases of hair loss too much that many people feel anxious.

Baldness is also called Alopecia Androphenetic. This is a disease that is primarily caused by genetic factors. Baldness can occur in both men and women. Previously, this disease mainly occurred to men. However, many women now suffer from this disease. This is caused by many different causes. To cure this disease, the treatment process requires your patience because it is very time-consuming. Nowadays, baldness is becoming an obsession for many people, even when they are under the age of 30. Baldness is the second stage of hair loss. In this case, the hair is falling off a lot, so there is not enough hair to cover the scalp area as usual.

If you suffer from excessive hair loss without the ability to grow back, then you are suffering from baldness. At first, you can see a hairline in the forehead is retracted and the first bald spots appear with hair becoming thinner. This is quite difficult to treat. Early detection and treatment of disease are very important. 

WHAT ARE COMMON CAUSES OF BALDNESS?

 Men or women may have baldness, but the incidence of men is higher than that of women. There are many causes of baldness, some most common are given below:

1.      Heredity :

It is one of the most common causes of hair loss, at least in men. Mostly, men who turn bald and experience excessive hair loss in their 40s have a history of baldness in their family. One statistic indicates that the genetic factor is the cause of baldness for 95% of patients with the disease. People whose parents have hair loss and baldness are at higher risk for this disease than normal people. Because the genes that cause this baldness to predominate, this genetic rate is extremely high. There is nothing much that can be done for this type of hair loss, though.

2.   Stress :

When you are in severe stress, your body can produce special hormones that disrupt blood flow, and slow down the growth of hair. That is one of the causes of baldness. It is said that more a person is stress, more are his/her chances of losing hair. It also includes lack of sleep, insomnia, restlessness, and many other factors. Stress can clearly show up on your hair health.

3.      Dihydrotestosterone(DHT) :

In middle-aged men, testosterone levels decline, the body increases DHT production, resulting in excessive hair loss. Dihydrotestosterone (DHT), a derivative of the male hormone testosterone, is the enemy of hair follicles on your head. Testosterone converts to DHT with the aid of the enzyme 5-alpha reductase. Scientists now believe that it's not the amount of circulating testosterone that's the problem but the level of DHT binding to receptors in scalp follicles.  DHT shrinks hair follicles, making it impossible for healthy hair to survive.

The hormonal process of testosterone converting to DHT, which then harms hair follicles, happens in both men and women. Under normal conditions, women have a minute fraction of the level of testosterone that men have, but even a lower level can cause DHT- triggered hair loss in women. In premenopausal women or after childbirth, the change of hormones in the body disturbs the balances between DHT and Testosterone levels. This is the reason why women often suffer from multiple hair loss at this time.

4.      Hormonal Imbalance :

A person can also experience hair loss due to hormonal imbalance. Generally, during pregnancy, women go through hormonal changes, which triggers hair loss for a particular period. Female pattern baldness tends to happen when a woman experiences hormonal shifts, like the peak of estrogen followed by a sudden dip after childbirth. Or when the early phases of menopause hit in the late 40s or early 50s. If you have an overactive thyroid (hyperthyroidism), you are more prone to hair fall. Diabetics decrease blood circulation in your hair follicles leading to malnourishment and fall of hair. Extended stress leads to high cortisol levels which are another cause of hair loss.

5.      Medical Treatment :

People undergoing medical treatment can experience hair loss. However, the loss can be reversible, it takes a toll on the whole head once. People on chemotherapy can end up losing all hair. Similar is with birth control pills and many high-strength antibiotics. The use of certain medications such as antidepressants, the drug contains lots of vitamin A, gut medications, and drugs for cancer, chemotherapy, radiation therapy can cause hair loss, thereby leading to baldness.

6.      Some Other Diseases :

Baldness can also be caused by lupus and diabetes. The reason is that these diseases will cause the scalp to become infected, making hair difficult to grow strong. Hair cannot grow healthily, the hair also falls off a lot, and this leads to baldness.

7.      Improper Diet :

A proper diet is very essential to have good quality hair. Insufficient/improper diet is one of the largest causes of hair fall in adolescents and adults. Many nutritional deficiencies can result in hair fall. Lack of proper nourishment can render hair brittle, dry, kinky, and split-ends. Therefore, it is very essential to have proper and balanced diet to have good quality hair and prevent hair loss. Deficiency of nutrients like vitamin A, B12, B6, folic acid, vitamin C, biotic, copper, iron, zinc, etc. can cause hair fall. Hair fall can also be a sign of vitamin A toxicity and deficiency. Protein, iron, omega – 3, biotin are some other essential substances for the development of hair.

8.      Age :

Generally, with age, hair fall. As a person ages, the scalp loses its grip on hair, which results in hair loss. Generally, male-pattern baldness and female-pattern baldness are both results of age-related hair loss.

9.      Chemicals :

Use of harmful chemicals in the form of dyes, shampoos, colors, etc. can result in hair fall. The cause of baldness may also be due to the misuse of shampoo, the use of poor quality shampoo. Harsh chemicals are harmful to hair in any case. Not only these chemicals damage present hair but they also inhibit further growth of hair. Therefore, it is suggested to avoid the use of harsh, harmful chemicals, dyes, colors on hair.

10.Pollution :

Exposure to pollution can also result in hair fall. There are places in which the amount of pollution is too much in the environment, especially in industrial belts. Also, when hair follicles get exposed to pollution constantly, their quality deteriorates and they fall.

11.Other Causes :

Some other causes of hair loss can be trauma, tumors, syphilis, connective tissue diseases, infections of the scalp, improper hair care, over-brushing, etc. An immune problem known as alopecia areata can also cause loss of hair from eyelashes, eyebrows, beard, and other parts of the body.

Bad habits are also the “culprit” to promote baldness in many people. Some common habits that lead to baldness are: smoking and spitting hair. In addition to the above-mentioned reasons, early baldness also originates from a number of other causes such as fungal infection or environmental pollution. 

PREVENTIVE MEASURES FOR HAIR LOSS

Baldness is a sign of unhealthy hair and can be prevented by adopting the following measures:

]  Keep hair clean. It will prevent dandruff, itching and hair lice, which ultimately result in hair fall.

]  Use protein-rich shampoos and conditioners. Use shampoo, conditioner based on hair type.

]  Get a regular head massage at least twice a month with lukewarm oil.

]  Wet hair have weak roots. Never comb hair when wet.

]  Avoid constant use of drying machines. Keep hair wrapped in a towel and let them dry naturally.

]  Eat a healthy diet including green vegetables, dairy products, and fruits.

]  Drink coconut water to prevent hair fall.

]  Avoid stress and tension and get adequate sleep.

]  Avoid harsh clips or bands. Avoid tight hairstyles. Tie your hair with soft and loose bands.

]  Protect hair from dust and sun. Cover head while going out in direct sunlight.

NATURAL HOME REMEDIES TO GET RID OF FOR BALDNESS / HAIR LOSS

Here some are the easy tips TO GET RID OF FOR BALDNESS / HAIR LOSS naturally at home.

1. Coconut Milk And Oil

Coconut milk is rich in vital nutrients and vitamins and promotes hair growth. Regular application of coconut milk into hair roots can help a great deal in preventing hair loss. Daily application of refined coconut oil mixed with lime water and lime juice on the hair can prevent hair loss. It can also promote hair growth. This will help in effectively healing your scalp as well as fight dandruff and thereby arrests hair fall.

v  Apply a mixture of about 20 ml of coconut oil, 10 ml of Amla oil and one or two teaspoons of lemon juice on your scalp and leave it there for some time.

v  Coconut milk can be prepared by grinding coconut shavings and squeezing them well.

v  Apply it on your scalp will provide the necessary natural nourishments for your hair and will also help in nourishing your hair tissues.

2. Massaging Regularly With Basic Oils

Massaging your hair and scalp with lukewarm basic oils like amla oil, coconut oil, almond oil or even olive oil will help in stimulating your hair follicles and prevent the scalp from developing dandruff. The exercise will activate the sebaceous glands and improve circulation of blood across the scalp.

v  Take a generous amount of hair oil and apply it evenly on your scalp and hair.

v  Massage the hair oil on your scalp and hair for ten minutes. Leave it on your hair for 15 minutes and then you can wash it off with shampoo or mild soap.

v  Scalp should be rubbed vigorously until it starts to tingle with the heat.

v  Repeat this scalp and hair massage treatment at least three to four times a day to prevent baldness.

v  You can occasionally also apply coconut or amla oil on your head generously before going to bed to help in improving blood circulation on your scalp as well as relieve you're from stress and strain.

3. Fenugreek Seeds And Oil

v  Fry a few fenugreek seeds in coconut oil for a few minutes.

v  Strain this mixture and apply it in minimal amounts on your head.

v  Rub it gently on your head so that it reaches the hair roots.

v  Apply this mixture three to four times a week before bathing will help in preventing your hair from balding.

4. Mustard Oil with Henna Leaves

Mustard oil when boiled with henna leaves gains properties that are highly beneficial for hair growth. Henna leaves have been used to treat hair loss and to give color and shine to hair for ages in India.

v  Boil about 250 ml of mustard oil and add about 60 grams of henna leaves into it gradually.

v  Filter the oil from leaves and store it.

v  Make this mixture cool and then mix the strained oil with the regular hair oil that you use. It would be better to mix this with coconut oil for better results.

v  Apply on your scalp and hair twice or thrice a week to see effective results against baldness.

Regular and long-term usage shows amazing results.

5. Onion Treatment

Onions are found to be effective in treating patchy baldness.

v  Cut white or red big onions in half and rub the open side on the affected area both in the morning and evening.

v  Keep on rubbing till the area becomes red.

v  Then rub the the area with honey and repeat this process daily to see reduced baldness.

6. Amla Oil

Regular head massage with amla oil can be very beneficial in preventing further hair loss. Amla has properties that promote hair growth by activating the underlying tissues in the scalp. Moreover, it acts as a valuable hair tonic. You can either use amla oil available in the market or prepare your own in-home.

v  Cut dry pieces of amla and boil it in good coconut oil.

v  Let this mixture cool and then strain the mixture into an airtight bottle.

v  Apply this oil on your head daily and leave it on your scalp for 15 minutes before bathing.

This will help in enriching hair growth.

7. Lettuce And Spinach

Lettuce and spinach help in preventing hair loss. According to experts, a mixture of lettuce and spinach juice can help with hair growth if taken to the extent to half a liter a day.

v  Make a smooth paste of lettuce and spinach in a blender.

v  Extract the juice from this mixture and apply it in the bald area.

v  Leave it rest for some time and then wash it off. Repeat this process four times a week to see good benefits.

v  You can also see very good results if you drink half a liter of this juice every day.

8. Rosemary And Sage

Rosemary helps to keep hair healthy and lush.

v  Mix rosemary and sage in coconut oil or even coconut milk and apply it in the affected areas of your head.

v  Leave it there for 15 to 20 minutes and wash it off.

v  Add one part of rosemary oil to two parts of almond oil and massage into the scalp gently for around 15 minutes a day on a regular basis.

v  Repeat this process four times a day for a few weeks to get rid of bald patches.

9.  Egg

Hair is made up of proteins and amino acids, and a great source of these are eggs which have proteins, fatty acids, and vitamins. Not only do eggs help curb and prevent hair loss, but they are also an excellent hair growth aid.

v  Apply beaten egg on your scalp at least two to three times a week to help in promoting hair growth.

v  It works even better when mixed with olive oil.

Foods To Prevent Hair Loss And Baldness

Hair health depends a lot on a person's diet. In most cases, hair loss is triggered by an improper diet. Generally, people under-nourish themselves when it comes to eating. They do not care about the proper balance of nutrients in their diet. People with a tendency to lose hair should take a well-balanced and complete diet.

Here are some Foods To Prevent Hair Loss And Baldness and maintain healthy hair:

1.     Protein

Hair is made almost entirely of protein. Consuming enough is important for hair growth. Animal studies show that protein deficiency may decrease hair growth and even lead to hair loss.

2.     Reducing Red Meat Intake

One of the major causes of hair loss is sebum blocking the hair follicles and pores. Certain studies have shown a positive connection between animal fat intake and an increase in sebum production. This means that cutting down on your red meat will help lower that sebum level and allow unhindered hair growth.

3.     Biotin Boost

The best known vitamin for hair growth is a B-vitamin called biotin. Studies link biotin deficiency with hair loss in humans. Although biotin is used as an alternative hair-loss treatment, those who are deficient have the best results. However, a deficiency is very rare because it occurs naturally in a wide range of foods. There’s also a lack of data about whether biotin is effective for hair growth in healthy individuals.

4.    Thyroid Health

As discussed  earlier hormonal imbalances are a big cause of hair loss, so maintaining proper hormonal activity is important to keep your hair healthy as you get older, but also while you’re young! If you suffer from hypothyroidism, one way to increase your iodine levels are to add sea vegetables like kelp, nori, kombu, and wakame. Make sure to eat them regularly to increase your thyroid hormone production.

WHEN TO SEE A DOCTOR?

 If you have baldness, and you apply the remedies mentioned in this article for a long time without any results, see your doctor. Besides, if your hair loss happens too quickly for a short period of time, see your doctor for a direct examination. You may have a more dangerous disease.

You have discovered some information about baldness. To overcome this condition, many people have come to the hair salon. This takes a lot of money and time. Meanwhile, with the natural home remedies for baldness, you can do it for yourself.

[hazelandglasz]

April Rhodes Home For Fabulous Old People - Klaine Advent 2018 // Day 23 and 24

On AO3

Happy holidays everybody!

She should have seen it coming, shouldn’t she?

It couldn’t happen any other way, and yet, Camilla is taking the whole messy situation surprisingly well, considering herself.

She stays behind the counter, sipping on a gingerbread flavored cappuccino, and lets the whole mess unfold like she’s watching a telenovela.

See, when you work in any retiring home, Christmas and the holidays can get complicated fairly quickly, since almost everybody is a grandparent and wants to play Santa, no matter where they come from.

Add the special ingredient of her own residents being former Broadway stars and performers at large, and, as stated, she should have seen it coming.

That by no means implies that she is going to get herself involved in the debate / Apocalypse, since the two parties in presence are her favorite couple and her grandparents.

“Why would you be Santa?”

“And why would you? Just because you have the physique for it ...”

“Dave, is Kurt calling me fat?”

“I believe he is, darling.”

“Now, Dave, don’t add oil to their fire ...”

“Blaine, I strongly advise you to stay out of this.”

“Hey, if anyone should be Santa, it’s me, okay? I have the physique, the beard, the stamina to play with children all day, and I’m the only one who can carry that bag around!”

Kurt and Sebastian stop glaring at each other to raise identical eyebrows at him before letting loud guffaws, their wheelchairs shaking with the strength of it.

Blaine crosses his arms over his belly and pout.

Dave pats him on the back. “Turn that frown upside down, Blainey-bear,” he says with a crooked smile. “And you two, will you just stop it? There are enough children around this town for all of us to be Santas.”

Kurt mumbles something that disturbingly sounds like he’s suggesting her grandparents are here to steal “his” children, but Camilla puts her mug down. “Now that’s settled,” she says loudly to cover the mumbles and grumbles, “what about you”, she points a finger at Dave, “explain to me the affectionate petname you just used for Mr. Hummel Anderson?”

The four men groan and Camilla grins.

Best. Christmas. Ever.

(I’ll have one more chapter tomorrow to serve as an epilogue to this verse. If there is something you want to see, let me know!)

[wolfliving]

IBM-Huawei guilt-by-association

*Is it a “smart city,” or is it a sinister Chinese detention camp?

https://bylinetimes.com/2019/05/24/smart-cities-and-automated-racism-how-ibm-designed-chinas-surveillance-regime/

Nafeez Ahmed on how Western Companies have aided and adopted Huawei’s terrifying and ubiquitous authoritarian tech

As Western government agencies raise alarm bells about the surveillance dangers of Huawei’s technology exports, many have missed the bigger story: that major Western companies helped build China’s surveillance state – a model which is now being quietly exported back to the West under the guise of installing efficient and sustainable ‘smart cities’.

Huawei is already inside some of the most sensitive national security domains across the Western world.

So far, most stated concerns are about the risk of China spying on the West through technology provided by Huawei. But there is another concern – getting into bed with a company complicit in building the surveillance infrastructure for the largest detention camps since the Holocaust.  (((That must be a fun sentence to read over at IBM.)))

While Huawei is best known for its smart phones, the telecommunications giant played a major role in designing one of China’s first major “smart city” projects in the autonomous province of Xinjiang, in the remote oil town of Karamay.

The Internet of Things: the Politics of Control. (((A decade of careful PR really going south here, thanks to the Trumpistan trade war)))

Across the town, bus stations were equipped with electronic screens displaying travel information. In homes, ageing residents could push panic button to alert emergency services or relatives. If the social security system recorded an increase in unemployed people, officials would know right away – all thanks to Karamay’s smart city web of 2G, 3G and Wi-Fi networks.

China’s early smart city project in Karamay has since blossomed into a computerised police state in Xinjiang. Versions of Karamay have been expanded across Xinjiang to track some 2.5 million residents, targeting the province’s Uyghur Muslim minority.  (((Uh, presumably the locals are also getting some kind of smart-city BENEFIT from all this, but at this point who cares)))

Versions of Karamay have been expanded across Xinjiang to track some 2.5 million residents, targeting the province’s Uyghur Muslim minority.

Persons who are flagged for suspicious activities – such as praying – can be investigated by Chinese intelligence and detained in “re-education” camps. Currently, some one million ethnic Uyghur Muslims have been interned in what has been described by a UN human rights panel as “a massive internment camp that is shrouded in secrecy.”

The seeds of China’s smart city paradigm were first planted by IBM in its “Smarter Planet” concept in 2009, when the company engaged with over 200 city mayors across China. The following year, IBM announced a 10-year smart city development strategy for China at a Beijing conference.  (((Those halcyon days of 2009, which were the depths of recession, but they look pretty good at this distance)))

There are currently just over 1,000 smart city projects around the world. Yet about half of them are in China, making the country home to the world’s largest concentration of smart cities – and therefore the biggest and most intrusive surveillance architecture ever built by any single nation.  (((Also, the nation with the fewest smart cities must be the freest, so I’m guessing maybe it’s Sudan or Somalia)))

Among the company’s early smart city projects was the installation of its flagship Intelligent Operations Center (IOC) for Smarter Solutions in the city of Zhenjiang in 2012.

An IBM handbook published the same year describes the IOC as capable of combining vast quantities of information across “security agencies” and “other levels of government.” Sources include feeds from “weather, citizens, law enforcement, social welfare, video”. The handbook identifies the potential of Sentiment Analysis, which learns what citizens are saying about city services through social media.  (((Well, that’s what the customer wanted to buy.)))

IBM played a direct role in designing and transitioning Karamay into Xinjiang’s first smart city. This was part of a bigger plan to connect cities across Xinjiang. In the first half of 2014, 5,000 4G mobile stations were installed across Xinjiang’s 16 main cities and 63 counties. By the end of that year, a total of 12,000 4G base stations would be built.

Uyghur Muslims have been interned in what has been described by a UN human rights panel as “a massive internment camp that is shrouded in secrecy.”

By 2016, as smart city infrastructure was expanded across Xinjiang, IBM began introducing “cognitive IoT” (Internet of Things) into Karamay. IBM’s technology was built around the Watson IoT platform, an artificial intelligence (AI) system that is extraordinarily well-suited for a wide range of surveillance applications.

How exactly the Watson platform. (((IBM Watson: Red Chinese Communist Police Fink!))) was practically applied in Karamay is unclear. IBM declined to respond to questions for this article. But Karamay is home to many Uyghur “re-education” camps, whose inhabitants are often detained by police for wearing Muslim clothing or having long beards. These practices are automated by the city’s extensive surveillance networks – first established under IBM’s “public security” platform, they have evolved into Huawei’s “Safe City” program.

Automated Racism

Huawei’s tremendous growth would have been impossible without support from IBM. As early as 2000, IBM signed an agreement with Huawei providing it with unprecedented access to its microelectronics division’s R&D facilities.

And according to a China Daily interview in 2016 with Huawei’s founding chief executive Ren Zhengfe, the Chinese telecoms giant pays IBM more than $100 million every year in management consultancy fees. Like IBM, Huawei did not respond to requests for comment.

Chinese telecoms giant pays IBM more than $100 million every year in management consultancy fees.

Over the last decade, Huawei has established dozens of Safe City programs across China in cities including Shanghai, Jiangsu, Guangdong and beyond. In May 2018, Huawei continued its work in Xinjiang’s capital, Urumqi, with a new partnership with the Public Security Bureau, establishing an “intelligence security industry” innovation lab.... ((((etc etc))))

[richardmurphythebrotique-blog]

Richard Murphy the Brotique || The Best Beard Oils of 2019

Richard Murphy the owner of the owner of The Brotique the complete men grooming store here you get inexpensive haircuts and beard styling by professionally trained barbers. Here you also get best beard oil for men with complete guidance.

Over the last 5 years we've had more conversations, in store and online, about one thing more than any other - what is the right beard oil for me? So to help those of you looking for the best beard oil in the UK in 2018 to buy online, we're here to help. The Brotique team are constantly testing and reviewing oils to keep this guide ip to date with the best selection of beard oils.

The top of the article is our best reviewed and tested oils but further down the page we've got some more in-depth information for you about what beard oil is, and how it helps both your skin and beard. 

After much testing, deliberation, re-testing, and perhaps a just a bit too much beard play in general, The Brotique determined that the best beard oil available on the market today is... 

Best Beard Oil 2018 and Where to Buy It

For the Long Beard : 

Braw Beard Oil – Grafter £17.99

 When it comes to a fully dedicated, all out there, long beard there's no one better than Braw Beard Oils. Their formulations are perfect for guys with long beards or working in tough conditions where their beard takes abuse. Using the finest national ingredients to maintain the health, length and strength of your facial hair. Hand-made in Scotland this particular oil evokes the scent of freshly cut timber, and is ideal for the working man with a full on beard.

Best Oil For Problem Skin : 

Hudson & Armitage - The Ranger £19.95

 Right now we think The Ranger is the best problem solver on the market. 100% natural, hand-made in Scotland and formulated with specific functions in mind, we love everything about Hudson and Armitage. Formulated with pine, cypress and cedar-wood essential oils this product tackles oily and inflamed skin so well. The coconut oil base is perfect adding a healthy look but not created any unwanted shine on the skin and hair.

   Best Smelling Beard Oil : 

Captain Fawcett – Barberism Beard Oil £34

Another stunning from Captain Fawcett delivers a fantastic scent and powerfully smoothing beard oil. This oil is fantastic for really smoothing and adding a shine to a well maintained beard. The scent offers a distinct but subtle cologne-like experience, and is definitely one of the most sophisticated on the market today.

 Shop All Beard Care

For More Tips and all the information about quality beard products contact Richard Murphy The Brotique Store owner via official Website and Store of Brotique.

[heartsandmuses]

it’s that time of year again - yup, time to round up everything I’ve written in 2018 for an end-of-the-year self-rec!

i. fics

TRUTH BE TOLD

community gift for the 2018 cap/iron man holiday exchange. stevetony. 6.4k. rated t. mcu.

Tony didn’t believe in signs. He did whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted, regardless of whether or not the universe seemed to approve. Which was a good thing, really, because if he did believe in signs, there would be no doubt in his mind that fate or the cosmos or whatever cruel, eldritch god was ruling his life absolutely did not want him to propose to Steve.

No matter what Tony planned, something, somehow, always seemed to get in his way. Either it was an Avengers alert (which happened about two weeks ago), or a sudden downpour over midtown Manhattan (one week ago), or Steve suddenly being de-serumed (four days ago), or, well—

“A truth serum.”

(Right now.)

ii. ficlets

WINGHEAD

for the 2018 cap/iron man tiny reverse bang. stevetony. rated g. mcu.

An evening at a charity fundraiser leaves a newly de-serumed Steve feeling insecure. Luckily, Tony’s there to reassure him.

EXTREMIS

for the 2018 cap/iron man tiny reverse bang. stevetony. rated t. mcu

Despite the fact that he’d lived in New York City for most of his life — save for the few months on tour selling war bonds, and the following year on various missions across Europe — Steve could easily see himself settling down somewhere in the countryside.

It wasn’t something that he’d ever given much thought to, but now that he was here, sitting on Barton’s back porch, nothing but field and forest in the distance, he couldn’t help but wonder what it would be like: the white-picket fence, the trimmed green grass. He didn’t want a wholly conventional life, not exactly, but it would at least be nice to have some semblance of normalcy amidst all the chaos — a quiet home to come back to at the end of each day, a small slice of the American Dream.

And, sure, maybe it was unrealistic — especially since Steve wasn’t even entirely confident he’d make it to next week — but it did paint a pretty picture.

Thankfully, he wasn’t alone in thinking so.

SHIELD

for the 2018 cap/iron man tiny reverse bang. stevetony. rated g. 616 au.

Once it was all over, Steve took a moment to himself, to catch his breath and survey the scene in front of him: the cracks in the pavement, the line of abandoned cars on the street, the fallen, deactivated Doombots piled up by the curb. The battle had been brief but intense, and while the city might’ve had a couple reconstructions ahead of it, all in all, they’d done a fine job, Steve could safely say — the citizens of Hell’s Kitchen had been evacuated in the nick of time, the Avengers had made it out with nothing more than a couple of scrapes and bruises, and Doom himself had been taken into custody. The sun was just starting to set, the sky fading from a pale pink to a blazing, brilliant orange.

DIRECTOR

for the 2018 cap/iron man tiny reverse bang. stevetony. rated m. mcu

In Tony’s defense, he’d promised Pepper that he’d try to make sure both he and Steve got to the gala on time, not necessarily that he’d succeed, a task that was proving to be especially difficult when Steve was kissing him like this: soft but commanding, his hands warm where they grasped Tony’s chin, his bicep, keeping him in place.

GOLDEN

for the 2018 cap/iron man tiny reverse bang. stevetony. rated g. mcu.

As hard as Tony had worked to make sure everything would be perfect for today, he knew, realistically, that with a guest list of over two hundred people and a ceremony organized mostly by himself, Steve, and both of their best men — Pepper busy with Stark Industries and Rhodey and Bucky confident that a wedding planner would be entirely unnecessary — things were bound to go wrong.

ARMOUR

for the 2018 cap/iron man tiny reverse bang. stevetony. rated t. mcu au.

It only occurred to Tony after he’d knocked on the door that maybe this wasn’t the kind of conversation to have at this time of night, on impulse and while slightly tipsy. But he needed the liquid confidence to even broach the subject, and Happy was already pulling away from the curb, throwing one last wave out the window of the town car as he headed back towards the Brooklyn Bridge.

Well, it was too late to back out now.

UNION

for the 2018 cap/iron man tiny reverse bang. stevetony. rated t. mcu.

It was all very Britney Spears, in a sense.

There was just something having a flock of stylists fuss over his facial hair whenever he had a press conference or a charity event or an interview, something about having to make sure the goatee was perfect every single time he went out to the coffee shop around the corner — trimmed to perfection, its edges sharp, his regular beard oil applied — that after a solid twenty years, Tony finally thought, fuck it.

And so, in a moment of weakness, he agreed to let Steve shave it all off.

[actifithealth]

Long Hair And Beard Indian

Long Hair And Beard Indian

Long Hair And Beard Indian. Ustraa hair growth cream is the best beard balm for indian beard lover ustra is daily use hair nourishment cream with the goodness of oil but no stickiness. For the beard, make sure it is medium or small stubble instead of a long and rugged beard. Brutal Beards & Mens Hairstyles 2018 from hairdrome.com Waist length hair might look weird on guys and gives a girlish…

[bloggerblagger]

87) Blank space. (And the profound questions deriving therefrom.)

                                                              I was there.                            ______________________________________________________________________

I am looking for a film.

I have hunted high and low and I can’t find it.

I don’t mean a roll of film - who has those these days? Unless you’re living in the dark ages. Or in Hackney or Stokie or Lewisham and have a beard, tatts, nose ring, possibly a lip disc - and that’s just the girls, tee hee. (Sorry, I meant cis gender women.) (And trans women too of course.) (Maybe I shouldn’t have started this.)

Anyway, no, I do not mean that kind of film, I mean a film as in a movie, a flick, a picture, a cinematic experience. I have lost one - no. 45 to be precise - and being a bit anal about these things, I am quite disturbed.

To explain: a few weeks ago we had the London Film Festival. As a one time titan of the airwaves, and now the the author of this estimable blog, I am, in exchange for an ever increasing fee - forty five quid  this year - able to blag a press pass.

And very grateful I am. What better way to fill a retiree’s days as the autumn chill begins to bite.

The trouble with joy

Ah! If only simple pleasure were enough for me. I am, as Woody Allenonce described himself, ‘anhedonic’. As I understand it, that means incapable of having a good time for the sake of it.

Something - somewhere inside my amygdala or frontal lobe or wherever such impulses lurk - insists that I must have an aim, a goal of some kind. It’s as though standing before the Eiger, it would not be enough for me to admire its magisterial beauty. I would feel an  irresistible compulsion  to grab some crampons and leg it  up the North face. (Okay, possibly a slight overclaim there but you get the idea.)

And thus it is that, each year, my principal purpose at the festival really has nothing to do with appreciating  the glories of world cinema. As with the mountain that must be climbed because it is there, I hear  an irresistible call to a completely pointless course of action.

My personal Eiger (it really should be Everest but I’m stuck with the Eiger now) is to pay an average price of less than £1 per screening that I enter.

Rules of the game

And lest you think that’s dead easy - and that all I have to do is walk in, get the person with the BFI badge and the little hand held   recording doobery to record my press pass number, and  then walk straight out again - you are most seriously mistaken.

Rule 27 subsection b, clearly states that I have to see enough to be able to write some kind of review for each and every film.(See below.) (And further below.) (And much further below.) Furthermore, although I am  permitted to walk out if I think the film is really shite, I have to stay for at least half an hour.

It is a feat  that I have, for one reason and another - typically, violent vomiting brought about by a surfeit of Gallic pretentiousness or a crippling attack of wobblycamitis -  never previously managed to accomplish. And inflation makes it an ever more daunting prospect. It’s like the Eiger growing another couple of thousand feet every year. At the 2018 price, it would mean I had to see at least forty six films.

Reaching for the stars

The one thing that gave me a tiny shred of hope was that this year I would be in London with a more or less empty diary for the entire period of press previews, beginning Sept 24th, and for the actual festival, which ended October 21st. Forty six films in twenty nine days. Obviously tough, but at one and three fifths  a day, it did seem just about doable.

In fact, a bit  like Mo Farah, who is happy to ease himself into the race and hang about at the back of the field for the first lap, I saw only one film a day for the first week and gradually stepped it up so that by the beginning of the final week I still had twenty three films to see. Yes, as  the bell sounded for the last lap, I still had an immense amount of ground to make up.

But I was honed, oiled (a steady diet of oatmilk lattés) and up for the challenge. Saw four films a day Mon to Fri, except Wed when I saw five - my first ever 5 a day! Saw two on the Sat - but, as much as it stuck in my craw, paid - PAID! - for a ticket for one of them (will explain later) so  only one counted. And  then three more on the final Sunday. Meaning I had seen forty eight films overall  with forty seven eligible  - forty seven for the price of my forty five pounds press pass. Average cost: 95.744 pence.

NINETY FIVE POINT SEVEN FOUR FOUR PENCE!!!! Cue tumultuous applause, wild cheering, caps being hurled into the air, my modest, slightly sheepish acceptance of bouquets thrown at my feet, headlines in the dailies, in depth analyses in the Sundays,  a billion tweets, Facebook breaking down through worldwide overload,  invitations to appear on Breakfast TV, The  One Show - rejected - Graham Norton - maybe - James Corden’s Carpool Karaoke - okay -  and The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon - accepted if whole show is devoted to me.

Let the naysayers nay

Of course, I knew there would be doubters. Small minded types consumed with envy - very possibly like yourself - and  conspiracy theorists  who would insist that, like the landing on the moon, seeing forty eight films (forty seven eligible) in twenty nine days was simply beyond the reach of humankind and that the whole enterprise was some kind of epic confidence trick.

So I knew I would need proof. And so I kept notes. Contemporaneously. Each film I saw, I noted down on the yellow notebook thingy on my i-phone. From one to forty eight (forty seven eligible) they went in and were consecutively numbered. And then, at the end, it was my intention to review them. (Too busy resting in my  bivouac - aka the cafe in the PIcturehouse Central - to write them as I saw them.)

That was the plan and the plan was put into effect. All went swimmingly, if several tads slowly - at the time of bloglication it’s already the thick end  of a month since the Festival finished - until I reached no 45.

And then - disaster.

YIkes!

44 was clear enough: ‘Ollie and Stan.’ And 46 was there: ‘Girl’’. But beside the number 45, there was nothing. Just blank space. (And though Blank Space could easily have been a film, perhaps based on the song Blank Space by Taylor Swift - ‘I’ve got a blank space baby, And I’ll write your name’ - and there was actually a film called Blank Spaces made in 2010, the blank space in question was just in fact, no more than that, a blank space.)

The reader - if there still is one - will be easily able to imagine how distraught I was. I was - and I remain - convinced that I had seen forty eight movies (forty seven eligible) but I could only identify forty seven ( and therefore only forty six eligible.)

How could this have happened, I wept and beseeched the God in whom I do not believe? As expected, no answer, but retracing my fingers I concluded that in writing the reviews beside the numbers, I had unwittingly deleted the name of the film that had been beside the number 45.

An absence of proof

I grabbed my dog-eared copy of the Festival Programme and cross-checked all the gazillions of  titles with those on my list, to see if there was one that I recognised that might have been no.45. But when you are as anal/OCD/idiotic as I am, you have to be punctiliously - obsessively - honest and I have to confess that I couldn’t find anything. I delved into the settings of  my i-phone’s yellow notepad thingy several times to see, if I had by any chance, inadvertently made a copy of the original entries before I began the review, but nada.

Eventually I had to accept that,  like Shergar, the name of the film that should have been beside no.45, would never be found. My only consolation was that this fascinating tale would be the basis for a fantastic movie, which I shall, one day, star in, write, direct, and produce: ‘And the winner of the Academy Award for Best Actor/Writer/Director/Motion Picture goes to: Richard Phillips, Richard Phillips, Richard Phillips, Blank Space!’)

Other than that, I am left with nothing but a terrible quandary. Do I insist, despite the missing movie,  that I saw forty eight films (forty seven eligible) and that  the price of 95.744 per film stands? Or do I say, since I cannot name film no.45, that, for the official record, I shall accept, albeit grudgingly and bitterly, that only forty seven films (forty six films eligible) can be counted, which increases the average price to 97.827pence per film. Yes, still inside £1 but unarguably by a substantially narrower squeak.

But  that is not proof of absence.

As you will imagine, I have, before sending this blog post off into the e-ther, fought an epic battle with my conscience. I have tossed and turned in the night, spent days in a monastic retreat - well, sitting on the loo, as good as - before deciding that, one missing title notwithstanding, I did indeed see forty eight films (forty seven eligible) and will claim, until the moment I have taken my last breath that the average price per film was 95.744p.  Indeed, given the importance this  has assumed in my life, it is not beyond the bounds of possibility that these will be  my actual last words -  though hopefully not right now.

However, my rigid insistence on  complete honesty  demands that I confess that there is another reason for choosing the 95.744 option.

It is this: There  is another rule - 39, clause iv - that has to be obeyed. And to explain that properly, I need to go out of order and begin my reviews with no.22

Ignorance is not always bliss.

Rule 39, clause iv, states that I must see every film ‘completely cold’ - by which I mean, knowing as little as conceivably possible about what I am about to see. I make a point/fetish of never reading the Festival programme blurb before I go in. When going to the cinema in the ordinary way, that is to say paying a proper price, I do everything I can to avoid seeing a trailer, usually by timing my entrance so I miss them, but if not, I  cover my eyes and stick my fingers in my ears, and I would go ‘la la la la la’ except I would be bombarded by popcorn and soggy nachos.

And I never, ever so much as glance at a review until after I've seen the film, and not just because I think all reviewers - except me - are tossers. I want to make a judgement of my own, uninfluenced by the half baked opinions of others. I want to witness  the story unfold exactly as the director intended that it should. Of course my determination to be so pure has its drawbacks occasionally, and never more so than  in this case.

Thus:

22 Little  Drummer Girl

I went in with high hopes as the director Park Chan Wook, who made the astonishing Korean and Korean-ised version of Sarah Waters’ fantastic (I thought) novel Fingersmith. (His film was called The Handmaiden, not to be confused with The Handmaid's Tale.)

TLDG started intriguingly and then, after about  an hour, the end credits rolled, seemingly  half way through the film. I sat there thinking, ‘how very odd’,  but, given my admiration for this director’s previous film, I decided this must be some uber cool directorial device and carried on watching regardless. Then an hour later the same credits rolled again, this time, as it turned out, at the conclusion of the performance. Even odder, for there seemed to have been no clue - at least none that I’d picked up -  as to why the credits had  been run the first time.

So whatever uber cool trick the director was trying to bring off, it was clearly way too cool for me. Moreover the story was left completely unresolved. It seemed as though there was a lot more  to be said  and  the audience had been left high and dry. The whole thing was completely baffling. Until, that is, I finally referred  to  the programme blurb and discovered this wasn’t a film at all but the first two episodes of a new BBC series. (Now showing.)

Why should this be shown at a Film Festival, especially when the TV series is to be broadcast only two weeks later? Answers on a postcard please.

BloggerBlagger Star Rating.0* (Not a film.)

So, you can see the problem. This wasn’t strictly a film - as in a movie that you might see in a regular cinema - at all. So should it count?  If the Rules Committee (me, myself and I) took a really strict view, they might not allow The Little Drummer Girl through even though I had  thought it would be a proper film  when I went in.

You can see where I am going with this. If I had not refused to back down on the missing no.45, I could have been in serious trouble. Because If I hadn’t and the Committee  put their black caps on in regard to no.22, I would be down to forty six films viewed and only forty five eligible, meaning the average price of entry would be £1 exactly.

Still a formidable achievement but, whichever way you look at it, £1 cannot be simultaneously less than £1. I would my miss target for yet another year.

Agonisingly close but no cigar. And you can’t really plant the flag unless you’ve reached the summit.

Let the record show

As I have said, I am not a believer but sometimes one simply has to invoke the name of the  so-called creator because it is the only word that will do. So thank God that after long, and sometimes hotly contested deliberations, the committee voted by a majority of two to one (myself and I for  the motion, me dissenting)  to take a lenient view and admit no 22. What’s more they didn’t even raise the subject of  the missing no.45.

So, all’s well that ends well. Will 95.744p ever beaten? One never knows, but my guess this is a Bob Beamon Plus Plus Plus sort of record.

One final note before I get to the other forty six reviews. I am the reviewer who is absolutely, positively guaranteed never to give the game away. No plot spoilers, no tedious Kermodian descriptions of every tiny thing. In fact, sod all apart from the odd detail such as the title, occasionally who might be in it, its country of origin and the briefest reference to  the skeleton of the story.

Reading one of my reviews you will never learn who dunnit. You won’t even know  wot they dun.  

The rest of the reviews:

1 Asako 1&2 (numbers are part of the title) 

Japanese romance with a clever plot twist.  Inoffensive, watchable - a slightly different slant (shamefully politically incorrect pun but impossible to resist) on familiar themes. 3*

BloggerBlagger Star Rating.3*

2 Petra 

An incoherent Spanish film about a young woman and a small daughter in search of something or other. Complex plot which asked too much of this audience. (By which I mean me.) Tiresome.

BloggerBlagger Star Rating.1.5*

3 The Guilty 

Highly unusual and thought provoking thriller of sorts. Although nothing remotely like it, except in its ‘message’,  it reminded me of the celebrated Guardian commercial - celebrated if you lived  in the advertising bubble, that is  - which showed one scene from different points of view, each one altering your assumptions about what was going on.

A lot of concentration required for ‘The Guilty’  - slightly more than I had. A few irritating plot flaws but worth your time.

BloggerBlagger Star Rating.4*

4 Wildlife

Thanks to British Rail’s time honoured uselessness,  I was 10 minutes late but I don’t think I missed anything crucial.  This was the very first film I saw but I can still just about remember it which says quite a lot for it I suppose. Carey Mulligan who I usually don’t like is very good in this 50s Americanadrama. Ed Oxenbould as the teenage son in the midst of a family crisis is impressive.

BloggerBlagger Star Rating.3.5*

5 Crystal Swan

The lesson to be learned here is that  under no circumstances choose Belorussia  for your next holiday unless unremitting bleakness turns you on. But the story of a rebellious young woman desperate to get  a visa to America is intriguing and persuasive.

BloggerBlagger Star Rating.3.5*

6 Shadow

Another of those Chinese warrior films which involves all sorts of leaping about and balletic sword twirling. Not my cup of Lapsang Souchong  but if it’s yours, go for it.

BloggerBlagger Star Rating.3*

7. Arctic.

Icelandic. Very snowy. A man lost and hungry and  not a happy bunny (not that any bunny would be)  in the eponymous frozen somewhere. In short, All Is Lost on Ice. (A brilliant line if I say so myself. If you haven’t seen All Is Lost, you should because it’s better and also because you will then appreciate the brilliance of the line which will otherwise be wasted on you )

On the other hand if you don’t see it, Arctic will probably seem more original and interesting than it did to me.

BloggerBlagger Star Rating.3*

8 Jinn

Awful, unlikely story about a black Californian teenager who wants to shake her booty  and her controlling TV weatherwoman mother who discovers Islam. 

BloggerBlagger Star Rating.1*

9 Manto

Worthy but tedious biopic about a famous writer caught up in the cross border chaos of Indian/Pakistani independence. I lasted for about 3/4 of it, then decided to get a sandwich instead.

BloggerBlagger Star Rating.1*

10 After the Screaming Stops

Where else but at a press screening at the London film Festival would you find yourself watching a documentary about a Bros reunion? Interesting  in that it showed what an incredible jerk Matt Goss is. And sometimes funny in the laughing-at as opposed to laughing-with sense.

BloggerBlagger Star Rating.3*

11 May  the Devil Take You

Walked out. Hated  it. Apart from that I can’t remember anything.

BloggerBlagger Star Rating.0.5*

12 Mandy

Never got all this cult film bollocks.  Never liked Russ Meyer or  got George Romero or John Waters  and this film which appears to be in this ‘cult’ category was , as far,  as  I was concerned,  simply unbearable. Left after an hour.  Yes, I know it’s had fantastic reviews from all and sundry but then remember, fengshui proves that a billion Chinese can be wrong.

BloggerBlagger Star Rating. - (minus) 200*

13 Ash Is Purest White

A Chinese melodrama about low level gangster life centred on the life of the moll. (I mean morr- ha ha ha.) (Is it racist to make pathetically obvious jokes, if you can call them that, about Chinese/ Japanese pronunciation issues? Probably yes, so why do I keep doing it? Discuss.)

BloggerBlagger Star Rating.2.5*

14.Widows

The gushing reviews it seems to have received (judging by the number of stars on the posters on the underground)  baffle me. It was nothing more than a highly polished turd. The original television serious was completely implausible and this film is no improvement. In the trailer  that I advertently failed to miss, ‘12 Years a Slave’ director and, in another life, Turner prize winner, Steve McQueen - the new one not the dead one - appears himself  to  claim this is the film he always wanted to make. 

Personally  I think it might have been about the money.

BloggerBlagger Star Rating.2*

15 Thunder Road

A curious piece, written and directed and starring  the same person, all about the  disintegrating life of an American policeman. Tonally it was partly black comedy and partly unalloyed tragedy. A tour de force of sorts creatively,  but not quite sure what to make of it.

BloggerBlagger Star Rating.3*

16 Border

A love story with knobs on - but not necessarily in the usual places - this is a quite brilliant piece of filmmaking which questions the very nature of attraction.  ‘Border’ has a very contemporary story but one which is drawn,  apparently,  from Nordic mythology. One of the two or three best films I saw in the festival.  Highly recommended.

BloggerBlagger Star Rating.4.5*

17 Colette

I started by being irritated by Collette. Keira Knightley has had a bit too much onscreen rumps pumpy to be a convincing teenager in plaits skipping through the grass. And there was early dialogue referencing toothpaste and the top line on an optician’s charts. In 1892? Did they have those in 1892? (The answer it turns out is yes - toothpaste invented in the 1850s, Colgate producing it in jars in 1873 and in tubes in the 1890s, and opticians have been around since earlier than that - so one in the eye for me. And one  in the mouth.)

But all this became quickly irrelevant anyway. Because I stopped being picky and submitted to the  charm of this film, seduced by the bravura performance of Dominic West - who seemed  made for his twinkly eyed, moustache twirling part  and by the surprisingly nuanced Keira Knightley - never been a fan but I am now. As it turned out, after that first slightly jarring note, she was perfectly cast as the country school girl who goes on to be a revolutionary in the fin de siecle culture war in Paris.. But above all it was the astonishing, and very well told, story of Collette - nothing of which I knew - which fascinated. In short, a  damn good night at the cinema.

BloggerBlagger Star Rating.4.5*

18 Beautiful Boy

Film about parental angst over teenage son’s descent into drugs hell. I found it interesting, if for no other reason than it made me realise the blindingly obvious fact that each viewer sees  a film through the prism of their own life experience and that must affect their appreciation of it. In  this case, as a father I couldn’t help but see  things  from the father’s point of view but if you you were in the first flush of youth you would, I think see it from the son’s. 

The  casting of Timothy Hutton  as the expert to whom we see Steve Carell talking caught my eye because he was, about 40 years ago,  the Timothy Chalomet  of his day - remember ‘Ordinary People’?- and then looked a little like him.

And here’s another curious little factoid about Timothy Hutton - perhaps something to thrill the table with if Christmas lunch is flagging. He also appeared in a 1996 film called Beautiful Girls.

BloggerBlagger Star Rating.3.5*

19 Sometimes. Always.Never

Light, low budget British comedy with Bill Nighy; painstakingly made and clearly a labour of love. A little twee at times but very well played and with something semi-profound to say - though at a distance of a few days, having seen so many films since, I can’t remember exactly what it was.  

It had a particular appeal for me because the hero had  spent a life in the menswear business, as my father did, and  the title refers to how one should button a three button jacket, from top button downwards - something I learned at an early age and have never forgotten.

BloggerBlagger Star Rating.3.5*

20. Roma

I would say that Roma was a faultless recreation of 1970s Mexico City except that I wasn’t in Mexico City in the 1970s so how could I know?  It did however ring completely true to me - apart from a shower head which looked suspiciously modern - pedantic? moi? - and demonstrated  the astonishing versatility of the director, Adolpho Cuaron, who  also made ‘Y Mama Tu Tambien’ 'Children of God' and ‘Gravity’ - that’s some CV -  films which could not be more different to this. ‘Roma’ is a sort of upstairs downstairs story and has wonderful performances from all the actors but most particularly from the main character, the young servant girl. 

If I have one caveat it is that it didn’t quite ‘speak to me’, apart from making me queasily guilty that I have a cleaning lady.

BloggerBlagger Star Rating.4*

21 Non Fiction

One of those literary French films purporting  to be profoundly intellectual (even if, in this case, also supposed to be ironically amusing.) All about writers and publishers and their existential angst in the digital world.  But then  aren’t all French films like this about existential angst - whatever it means? This is the sort of thing I viscerally loathe  and after about half an hour, je sort, and  gave ‘Non Fiction’, the General de Gaulle - ‘Non! Non! Non!’

BloggerBlagger Star Rating.1*

23 Life  Itself

Not everybody loves this film; in fact, the reviews have generally had the whiff of a  blocked drain,  but I claim my right to vigorously demur - up to a point. Directed and written by Dan Fogelman (the guy who does ‘This Is Us’ on Netflix or somewhere) it begins with a story about familiar  Noo Yorker angst but approaches it from a surprising angle - at least to me. ‘Life Itself’, comes in four labelled acts, something I don’t like in movies usually but the first three  worked for me. The  last seemed like a rather - make that very - tired cliché. 

My main issue with the film was that, whereas with Roma I couldn’t quite understand what it was trying to say, here the message was triple underlined in upper case bold. Not yet quite at the stage of jibbering senescence where I need to be spoon-fed.

BloggerBlagger Star Rating.3.5*

24 Wild Rose

Have to declare an interest here. The film’s star, Jessie Buckley,  is someone I know a little, and whose  career I have watched with interest since she was about 18 when she appeared on a TV talent show and after which  I interviewed her. I am a massive fan. She is an astonishingly gifted singer and a damn good actor. (Brilliant in her earlier non-singing role in last year’s ‘Beast’, which I thought was an exceptional movie, better than this to be honest, and which may yet prove to be a bit of a sleeper.)

 ‘Wild Rose’ is about a single mother from the badlands of a Scottish estate who has a yen to be a Nashville diva. (A bit like  Lady Gaga in ‘A Star is Born’. C&W seems all the  rage at the mo.) ‘Wild Rose’ has a few credulity stretching moments but the  feel good peaks make you want to ignore  those. It will make the Saturday night popcorn go down with a tear and a cheer. And it is a wonderful showcase for Jesse, who, If there is any justice, is destined for Hollywood mega stardom.

BloggerBlagger Star Rating.3.5*

25 Sunset

Lazló Némes, who made last year’s wincingly convincing Auschwitz film ‘Son of Saul’, now comes up with a wobbly cam evocation of verge-of-World War One Budapest called ‘Sunset’. By a complete but happy coincidence the person sitting next to me turned out to be an old  pal, Saul Metzstein, who is a movie director himself. 

I was gratified to learn that he was as mystified by this film as I was. No idea what the point of it was - went straight over my head. (Which,  admittedly does not require much intellectual elevation.)

BloggerBlagger Star Rating.2*

26 Dogman

Loved this. One of my Festival top three or four and likely, I read,  to be a runner in the Oscar Foreign Film race. It’s a modern tale of the  little man in a hostile world and takes place in one of those seedy parts  of Italy that you find everywhere if you stray very far from the tourist trail. It is already on release - in fact, by the time I get around to posting this blog, it may already be finished, but try to catch it if you can. (Beware of violence though, if that bothers you.)

BloggerBlagger Star Rating.4.5*

27 The Kindergarten Teacher

Never been much of a Maggie Gyllenhaal fan - always seems a bit cold and distant to me - but she is exceptional in this unusual contemporary New York drama about a thoroughly decent middle aged woman who,  for reasons which may or may not be valid,  finds herself out of step with those about her. Intriguing and thought provoking and better the more I think about it.

BloggerBlagger Star Rating.4*

28 They Shall Not Grow Old

Everyone is raving about Peter Jackson’s  colour and  3-D reincarnation of genuine old World War One footage but it left me pretty cold.

It may be - no doubt is - an astonishing technical feat but after so many books and plays and films and so much TV and radio devoted to the subject I am afraid to say that I have a touch  of World War One fatigue and this didn’t relieve my symptoms.

Last year’s  wonderful remake of RC Sherriff’s ‘Journey’s End’ packed far more emotional punch, for me at least. Yes, the colour pictures of corpses and lice and rats and trenchfoot were ghastly but I wasn’t shocked and I wasn’t surprised. Who doesn’t know that World War I was unspeakably awful? Or rather, who amongst those who might go to see a film like this, doesn’t know? (‘Venom’ fans, I would have thought,   are unlikely customers.)  

My biggest complaint, though,  is about the soundtrack: I found the unrelenting stream of voices irritating and soon switched off and stopped listening to what they had to say. Easily the most powerful piece of sound in the film was, I thought,  the accompaniment to  the end title, the marching troops singing ‘Mademoiselle from Armentiers’. (Sung  of course, as Ah-men-tears’.) Nothing seemed to me to sum up the pathos and suicidal naivety  of the cannon fodder as much as this.

Perhaps more music of the same intensity and fewer quotes might have made them more memorable.

BloggerBlagger Star Rating.2.5*

29 Rosie

An Irish version of a Ken Loachy sort  of film about decent people caught in the poverty trap. Persuasive and faultlessly done. But I am not sure what it told me that I would prefer not to know but unfortunately do.

BloggerBlagger Star Rating.3*

30 El Angel

A highly original and sometimes very funny,  blood soaked,  true story  about a teenage boy with decent, law abiding parents and   a head  of blonde curls  which is  set   in  Argentina (where, typically, people  are swarthy with black hair) in the 70s, and   who determinedly but very merrily sets about pursuing his ambition to become a ruthless murdering gangster. If there seem to be a few contradictions there, that is the joy of this film. 

Remember to search  for it on Amazon or Netflix in a few months  if it doesn’t get a release.

BloggerBlagger Star Rating.4*

31 Florianopolis Dream 

Was really   struggling to remember anything at all about this film  and,  until I checked, I thought it was more of the seedy  Italian  seaside and the story of two women battling it out to claim maternal rights over a small child. But now I realise that was another film entirely, which was....

32, Daughter of Mine.

Okay but in the unlikely event of  it ever getting a release, I wouldn’t worry about FOMO if you can’t manage to see it. 

And, now that I  do remember it, likewise  Florianopolis Dream, a Brazilian effort about a family’s seaside holiday in a place where it seemed to be perpetually cloudy. (Just to be clear, the  cloudiness was nothing to do with the plot, which was largely non-existent, but the obviously very low budget. I am sure the director would have preferred the sun but couldn’t afford to wait.)

BloggerBlagger Star Rating.

Florianopolis Dream 1.5*,

Daughter of Mine 2.5*

33 Capharnaum

A close second, that well  might have been first had I not seen the winner afterwards in the race to be my top pick of the festival. Timing is everything.. This is the heartbreaking yet ultimately uplifting story of a boy of about twelve brought up in abject poverty in the slums of what I presume was Beirut. 

The performance of the boy is magical and though a two hour journey through the world of the  Lebanese dispossessed (or rather,  the  would’ve been dispossessed if they had ever possessed anything in the first place) may not sound like a fun Saturday night at the pictures, do not be put off. Whilst not so much pricking your conscience as repeatedly firing a  Kalashnikov at it, it somehow manages to be a feel-good movie at the same time.  

My only quibble was that the editing around the clever device upon which the plot is built,  slightly confused me at the end. Oh, and also, what’s with the title? Could they have found anything more obscure? Or maybe there was a clue in the film but, if so, I didn’t pick it up.

BloggerBlagger Star Rating 4.5*

34 Birds of Passage

Think of this as a pre-prequel to Narcos. Drugs and grisly murders mixed in with a bit of ancient dream interpretation  in Colombia in the sixties, when it was the  Native Americans (or one of the 87 tribes of Pueblos  lndigenas  as they call  them in Colombia - isn’t Google marvellous?) and not the Sicarios who were cashing in on the medical benefits of the local cash crop. 

Judging by the gore in ‘Birds of Passage’,  they  could have taught  Pablo Escobar a thing or two about effective persuasion -  blowpipes were out and sub machine guns deffo in. Clear and solid storyline, good pace, convincing acting, and lots of ketchup  - what’s not to like? Another probable Oscar Foreign Film contender.

BloggerBlagger Star Rating 4*

35 Carmen and Lola

Good late Sunday night on BBC4  type film in which two young gypsy women in modern day Spain confront the fixed ideas of their incurably misogynistic families. One fascinating side effect of seeing this film  was noticing in the sub-titles that the Roma  in Spain (who are not shown as travellers but living in permanent homes) refer to the wider Spanish community as white  people.  

To me,  the man and woman in the Spanish Street  and the Roma  all looked pretty much the same - dark haired and sallow skinned,  and hard to differentiate from each other. I mentioned this in the Q&A afterwards and Spanish members of the audience - and remember, film festival goers are usually predictably right-on - seemed a bit put out. Perhaps I was being tactless and/or naive. Prejudice runs deeper than you might think.

BloggerBlagger Star Rating 4*

36 The Quake

I correctly interpreted the title as heralding  a thriller about an earthquake and looked forward to some  light relief from the intense social commentaries that are the bread and butter of the festival. I have rarely seen a bad Norwegian film but I did this time. Ludicrous  plot,  wildly overdone CGI including a slowly toppling, and clearly named  Radisson hotel - very  odd  product placement. Avoid.

BloggerBlagger Star Rating 1*

37 Girls of The Sun

A no punches pulled war film from a French woman director about Yazidi girls fighting in the Kurdish army in Iraq. Couldn’t help but be struck by the casting of far and away the prettiest girl as the group leader and main character. A curious - commercial? -  decision in such a feminist piece. 

A decent enough effort otherwise  but I feel that Henry Naylor’s plays which have done so well at Edinburgh and in New York in recent years (Borders, Angel etc, a couple of which are on at the Arcola, Dec 4-22)  and which deal with similar themes  do so much more effectively. A rare case - for me- of the cinema being inferior  to the theatre.

BloggerBlagger Star Rating 3*

38 The White Crow

Quite nteresting without being competely fascinating, watchable without being riveting, this is a tale of the early days of Nureyev directed by Ralph Fiennes, who also appears,   thankfully not as Rudy, but as his teacher, giving a performance which I found somewhat  distracting as he strongly reminded me of Paul Whitehouse. Nureyev Is portrayed as an unsympathetic character, driven and selfish, which could well have been true, so ‘The White Crow’ ticked the ‘seems authentic’ box, although his chilliness  doesn’t help you love the film.

 I would semi-enthusiastically recommend it, but I doubt it will be shown very widely since I can’t see it  doing brilliantly at the box office - not sure that the world of ballet is a place the Saturday night  popcorn crowd want to visit.  And who under 50  will know much - or indeed anything - about  Rudolph Nureyev and his place in the sixties zeitgeist?  But then who cares? It wasn’t my money.

BloggerBlagger Star Rating 3.5*

39 Burning

There seemed to to be a bit of a buzz about this film amongst the so called press (aka the vast number of liggers who, like me, and with no less right, had managed to blag a press pass) but I have no idea why. It’s a strange story about the homecoming of a rather disorientated young Japanese chap with a father in gaol and another contrastingly self assured young fellow  who is doing jolly nicely thankyou. Plus, for some reason, there are burning glasshouses. Utterly mystifying - to me at least - and so slow it made the average glacier seem like Usain Bolt.

BloggerBlagger Star Rating 2*

40 Yommedine

A road movie about an Egyptian  leper and a runaway orphan. (One of the many surprisingly good things about this film is that there it unlikely to be a Hollywood remake.) 

An astonishing achievement to have made such a simultaneously upbeat  and yet deeply moving  film about people one would normally think of as being at the very bottom of the heap if, that is, one gave  them any thought to them at all. Brilliant performances that take us beneath the skin that so many are terrified  to touch.

BloggerBlagger Star Rating 4*

41.Can You Ever Forgive Me?

Stands a pretty good chance of coming to a cinema near you and I don’t you think will begrudge the price of a ticket. Melissa McCarthy gives a masterful - if that’s the right word to use - performance in the true story of surly, lonely, habitually rude 51-year-old biographer and lesbian Lee Israel  and her extraordinary and ingenious attempts to make money in 90s New York.

 Richard E. Grant plays her camp hoppo with all the Richard E. Grantness that you’d expect and Dolly Wells does a nice little turn as a guileless bookshop owner. (To be frank I might not have mentioned her, but coincidentally her mother was my Airbnb guest on the day I went to see this film, so I thought it was only fair to give her a shout out, and I did think she was pretty good.) Amusing, touching and very watchable.

BloggerBlagger Star Rating 4*

42 The Hate U Give

Based  on a ‘young adult novel, this is the story of a young black girl living  in a rundown,  violent, gang ridden   district because her father, whilst allowing her to be sent to a private white school doesn’t want to make the move into a middle-class world. (Sounds fairly unlikely but on this occasion, I wasn’t in one of my usual hole picking moods so I went with it.) 

A series of regrettable incidents  force her to come to terms with the conflicting  aspects of her identity. Not quite sure if this film was actually intended  for my demographic group, but, despite it’s improbable  plot turns, I thought it had something useful to say. And hear.

BloggerBlagger Star Rating 4*

42 The Sisters Brothers

Saw this on the day that I actually managed to attend five screenings. A notable achievement but knackering and while I was supposed to be watching  this - I think it was my fourth of the day  - I have to admit I nodded off more than once.  I have a strong feeling it was probably rather good - featured Joaquin Pheonix, Jake Gylenhal, John C.Reilly, so a promising cast -  but I’m not really sure. Anyway, it’s cowboy film with a slightly Coen Brothers tone of voice, but isn’t one of theirs.

BloggerBlagger Star Rating 3.5*

43 A Private War

Like Maggie Gyllenhaal - see The Kindergarten Teacher, above -  Rosamond Pike has never been  a favourite of mine. and for similar reasons. I’ve always found her ice queen manner slightly off putting. Here she is playing legendary war journalist Marie Colvin but I never believed her. Lots of actoring with cigarettes and an eyepatch and her unruly wig flapping about  but it just seemed like dressing up to me. I kept wanting to scream at the screen, ‘Put a bloody helmet on!’.

 For all that, I can’t deny that ‘A Private War’ held my attention and had the odd moment.The sort of thing that might not  seem a complete waste of time when it makes its inevitable appearance on    BBC2 late on some future Sunday night. Otherwise not really recommended.

BloggerBlagger Star Rating 2.5*

44  Stan and Ollie

As a child in the er ah ahem um er nineteen whatevers I use to love Laurel and Hardy and here John C. Reilly and the make up artists do a great job of recreating  Oliver Hardy on screen and Steve Coogan is more than passable  if less impressive as Stan laurel. 

A fascinating story of their later years but for me, let down by the stagey, artificial representation of fifties England. Also very odd casting and playing of legendary impresario Bernard Delfont. Was Lew Grade’s brother really like that? No idea but not how I imagined the man who brought us Sunday Night At the London Palladium. Still, all in all, a pretty decent night out at the flicks.

BloggerBlagger Star Rating 3.5*

45. (As previously discussed.)

46 GIRL

 On the final Saturday I went with some friends to see the announcement of the result and the screening of the film which had won the best first feature award and I had to pay so I could sit with my pals. A little bit of a gamble as there was a chance I had  already seen the winning movie,.  

The winner  turned out to be Girl,  a story about a Belgian boy of 15 who wanted to be a ballerina. (Note:  Not another Billy Elliott -  he wanted to be a real ballerina.) When the announcement of the award was made, the  good news was that it was a film I hadn’t  already  seen but the bad, I glumly thought, was that I had consciously decided not to see it earlier in the week because, to be honest,  I have grown a little weary  of the entire LGBTQ I XYZ trans-gender, cis gender, gender  fluidity,  gender whatever, what? WTF!, what-do-THEY-do? thing. 

Only it didn’t turn out to be bad news at all. Girl is an absolutely extraordinary film, deeply touching with an astonishing performance by the young boy playing the young boy who wanted to be a girl. Not only was it riveting viewing but it made me completely rethink my attitude to the whole transgender thing.  Whereas  previously my attitude might have been summed up as ‘all these boys wanting to be boys and girls wanting to be boys - perlease!’ I felt afterwards that I had at least a small but sympathetic understanding of the predicament that Victor/Lara and his family faced. And by extension, others like them. A really good film can do that - open your eyes and mind to a different world. 

So, from being  a movie that I hadn’t wanted to  to see, Girl became my personal pick of the festival and recipient of the Palme d’bloggerblagger

BloggerBlagger Star Rating 5*

46 Blaze

Went to see this because I noticed that Ethan Hawke was the director and I am a bit of a fan of his work both as an actor and as a writer - he once wrote a very good novel, the name of which now escapes me. Unfortunately this film, a story, supposedly true, of a  singer and songwriter in the sixties - I think - failed to stop me from making short but frequent visits to the land of nod.

BloggerBlagger Star Rating 2.5*

47 The Fight

The very last film I saw, A low budget British film about a fortyish woman in a racially mixed marriage with a bullied  child and  a dark secret and a bad relationship with her own mother and who, for some reason that I never quite got to grips with,  takes up boxing.  I might have appreciated this film more  had my hearing been better. I discovered in post movie conversation (with one of the other members of the  press/ liggers ) that I had mistaken the spoken number 30 for 13 and that had a significant bearing on my misunderstanding of  the story, and consequent confusion and mild dissatisfaction.

BloggerBlagger Star Rating 2.5*

PS Anyone with so much time on their hands that they have waded through this nonsense until the end will have noticed, as I have only just done, that there were, in fact, two no 42s. Which I take to mean that, joy of joys,  we have found the missing no 45. (Something obviously went awry with the numbering system in my i-phone’s yellow notebook thingie. Or possibly, though obviously improbably,  it was my fault.)

Delighted to have been vindicated in my claim that I did indeed see 48 films (47 eligible.) Or, if there were an appeal against the present ‘Little Drummer Girl’ decision (unlikely but you never know) and it were to be upheld by the Rules Committee (even unlikelier) I would have seen 47 films (46 eligible.) And in even that remote eventuality I would still have officially reached the summit of my personal Eiger (Everest).

But it also means   80% of the first 1500 words of this post are completely redundant.

I could start again, I suppose. And I probably should. And yet….really?

[poperoach87-blog]

Top 9 Best Electric Hair Clippers & Shavers In 2018.

There is no doubt that a male with an excellent beard maintains it trimmed and well-groomed with an outstanding beard trimmer such as the Philips Norelco Multigroom Collection 3100 It's true that scruffiness is done in, yet looking like a vagrant is not. Discover best stubble trimmer . The Collection 7 790cc delivers a close, comfortable shave thanks to its 3-trimmer system. There are aluminum foil kind razor, rotary kind electric shaver or hair trimmer. So, simply pick out the one you want, buy it up and in only a number of days you will be getting a wonderful smooth electrical razor cut, thanks to these, the 15 best electrical shavers under $100. Efficiency: The Remington dual-foil head provides a suitable electronic shave, though it's not as good at dealing with lengthy beard hair. Worry not, however, we've gathered four of the best electric shavers for Black hair and also skin for your convenience. According to this review, the Wahl Trimmer All-In-One with Lithium Ion battery produces only a suitable score for its lithium battery and also power as well as effectiveness in trimming, but does not have in its capability to easily change blades and reduced accessory high quality. Includes a leaner for hairlines and also hairs, plus a pop-open head that's east to rinse tidy. The Panasonic Arc 5 is your ideal bet when it comes to shut shaving. We have actually taken every one of these right into consideration when selecting the very best electric shaver for you. Bridegroom+ Style faithfully assesses all of the very best electric shavers readily available on the market as well as compiles the testimonials for you. It's not pointless, however we discovered ourselves hanging around with other leaners cleaning up lines from the Collection 7. All electric razors in the Arc series have the very same leaner. Perfect for those with an eagle eye for summary as well as a fixation for information, the Philips Beard Trimmer 9000 is a standout amongst one of the most progressive approaches to maintain your stubble all together. Several beard leaners on the marketplace additionally make use of blades that require really little maintenance-- as a general guideline: seek self-sharpening steel blades that don't call for oil prior to each use. While it may make a great Birthday celebration or Dads day present (nevertheless, every man has a beard) it is extremely unlikely you will certainly pick one ideal for their hair as well as skin kind.

[sofiathefirstlover-blog]

beard growth supplements  scam

Get Gentlemans Beard Club Free trial

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Beards are you can forget simply about"physical apperance" they have been a lifestyle followed by most men. It is not merely enough to sport a beard, it will take passion, care and grooming to often a own beard in the perfect way.

Beard Czar is a leading provider of a vast selection of beard grooming and care products that will assist you to grow, style & tend to your beard. Our dietary supplements including a hair on your face Sophisticated and also a Phytoceramides formula may help support growth and beard hair health. The Beard Oil may assist you to hydrate, nourish and style your beard. We have also included helpful information that not only can help you employ our products in the finest conceivable fashion however in addition supplies everyday strategies and secrets that will assist you take care of your own beard.

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This especially formulated supplement comprises a combination of essential vitamins that promise to excite dormant hair roots, provide hydration and nourishment, and enhance growth. The company claims hair on your face Complex may also"nourish the dermal matrix," which can improve beard quality.

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Beard Oil

Compared with their supplements, Beard Czar's Beard Oil contains argan oil, that might hydrate and nourish your hair from the outside . This same tonic may also make your beard longer manageable for styling, also certainly will reduce fallout and itchiness.

Phytoceramides

Still another of Beard Czar's supplements, Phytoceramides can help improve"collagen develop" (we'll come back around for the period briefly ). Additionally, this can nourish the skin matrix and enhance skin health, leading to improved growth and a softer texture.

We've got a completely new breakout formula named Beard Czar which has been shown to assist in the blossom development, the fullness and keep your beard healthier than ever before. To many men who have beards struggle that has several diverse problems, from the aroma of these beard too maybe not having the ability to keep their blossom direct. With your formula Beard Growth XL that we developed you will find the must full beard you have been looking for along with a number of other benefits. Our formula has been which may be significantly a lot more than 10 times better than some formula, therefore if you experienced growth problems in your beard than you want to observe how more.

You should take pride in one's hair on your face, it's what defines you as a guy, so many people are hesitant to grow a beard but fact remains gentlemen, not only does it look good, but women love beards. Our awesome product will allow you to achieve the most powerful beard you have ever seen along with more. Now our product Beard Czar has been shown to be more amazing than before, and it was demonstrated to be the amount beard formula on earth today. Here you can discover more how Beard Czar may help the blossom and see that which you might get going now!

This formula is known as Gentlemen's Beard Club, plus it's been shown to be effective at growing brittle, healthy and thick hairloss. Guys just like you have experienced some amazing effects, plus they're sharing their adventures with the rest of the world. They are loving the confidence and manliness that originates from using a full, thick beard, and you may as well. We don't only want to inform you this formula works, however, and maybe not show you how a magic happens.

Let's consider exactly what makes gentle man's Beard Club so effective for a lot of guys.

This facial hair growth formula for 2018 is packaged with vitamins, minerals and other natural chemicals your hair and skin need to encourage maximum facial hair growth -- it almost acts like a balm.

These are all top ingredients that have been thoroughly tested and approved for this purpose, and this means that you may not have to be concerned about plenty of awful side effects. It's possible to utilize the formula with confidence knowing not only are you going to be safe from possible unwanted effects but that you will even enjoy powerful results briefly.

You notice , your hair and skin often lack the nutrition that they need to function at their very best. With the ideal mixes of organic ingredients, then your hair may grow longer, fuller, and thicker. This eliminates stains and ensures full, also growth across your face.

Gentle man's Beard Club works on a few different fronts.

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The Gentleman's Beard Club will also be able to prevent the drying out and thinning of facial hair. It stops itchiness and leaves you less likely to scratch your beard daily .

Most guys who've tried to cultivate a beard know exactly how itchy it can take awhile. These fresh, long hairs on your face could be annoying, and it makes you think of shaving the whole lot off every now and then. All that itching makes you get skin longer and will enable one to use from acne after a time. You may not need to deal with some of the, in the event that you're utilizing this powerful formula.