#besides which everyone knows YSA friend groups dissolve as soon as everyone gets married

[midnight-in-eden]

I told my family I want to build myself a social life again (covid & other things have pretty much killed what little social life I had) and they suggested I start attending YSA social activities with my sibling.

It’s not the first time they’ve suggested it. I tried very politely explaining that yeah, maybe I’d consider it once or twice, but I don’t want that to be my main friend group. I want friends who share my values, especially friends who don’t believe gay marriage is wrong.

They were just…baffled. After all, they argued, all of my sibling’s friends are so nice. Nobody will be rude to me about it, my mom insisted.

Honestly? I don’t care. I don’t care how nice they are. It’s like being friends with a nice racist. I don’t even want to maintain friendships with most of my old Mormon friends, let alone make new ones.

Idk, it felt so ironic, coming from the parents who taught me to “choose friends with similar values and standards” growing up. My values and standards have changed. I don’t want friends who are homophobes, no matter how nice they are about it. Why is this such a baffling concept? Is it because I manage to be civil to my family about them being in the church, so they think I’m amicable about homophobia in general? It’s hard to believe I haven’t made my feelings clear at this point. Maybe they just don’t want to believe that their bigoted beliefs are a turn-off to other people looking for friends, no matter how nice they are. After all, Mormons take so much pride in being nice and friendly. They do not seem to understand that smiling at someone while you bear a bigoted testimony is still bigotry. As long as you don’t do it in an angry way, it’s not hate speech to them, it’s just “standing up for your beliefs.”

Anyway. I am going to look for LGBTQ social groups in my area. Because I’d like a friend group where, for once, I’m not the token queer in a room full of smiling bigots.