#bemyfriendplease

[dazemood]

friends :(

in need of friends pls

[pandihowell]

Looking for a friend

Hello, I am looking for a friend who is a native English speaker, so that I can practice and improve my English.

[beatrice-blaze]

[pm] [del: Okay, HYPOTHETICALLY speaking would you be interested in] [del: no. you're barely my friend. why would you want to sleep with me] [del: sex?] So. Dario is. Good. In the face. You're also. Good. In the face. Want. Put. Face. On. Me? Ugh. No. This is dumb. I'd have better luck asking your mom. Let me just delete thi [user hits send by accident. user throws her laptop out a window]

[PM] WHAT OH MY GOD FACE ON YOU ARE YOU TRYING TO GET WITH ME? AND DARIO? ARE YOU? IS THIS? I MEAN YES BUT WOW 

Do you- Are you- I bet you didn’t mean to send this but you did, so are you trying to tell me that you might wanna hook up? With me? And Dario? 

[detective-keen]

[pm] There's cock! [new pm] NO I MEANT TO SAY I HAVE COOKIES FOR YOU. COOKIES. I'm ho. [new pm] HORRIBLE AT TYPING WHILE EATING. Agatha, please ignore these. [new pm] Hey. I was hacked. I'm a normal person. How are you?

[pm] Sup’ you cock hoarding ho. I mean, hi, normal person. Well you know, I was feeling meh, but your messages have put the whole sun in my heart, you cock hoa beautiful angel mermaid.

[sgtrolandhills]

[pm] Hey! So, uh, what if I was doing art projects with the eyeballs? Like if I super-glued them together and made a fun pyramid? I didn't think they were real!

[pm] Why would you be doing arts and crafts with eyeballs? Wait, don’t answer that. Bring them over to the morgue. We’ve been receiving them in all sorts of states. Dr. Kavanagh may be able to salvage them enough to get a DNA sample. 

[kadavernagh]

bemyfriendplease replied to your post: [pm] Hiya, friend! I think someone replaced the...

[pm] Maybe this is a vole then. You meant to give me a dead animal? This made you think of our friendship? ‘cause it’s dead? And you’re friend-breaking up with me? [del: ho no] Ho is what I [del: as of two seconds ago] am calling honest people! You’re a ho! I’m a ho! We ho’s gotta stick together.

[pm] Oh... yes. It’s a vole. I intended to give you a dead vole; I thought it was cute and soft, with a slightly mournful expression. I -- what!? No! I’m not. I would never do that. I promise. I mean, I -- shit. Shit. I said that. I

[user steps away from the computer and paces a hole into her floor]

[thebickedwitchoftherest]

@bemyfriendplease​ replied to your post “[pm] Hiya, Ms. Bishop! I see you haven't touched the brownies I put on...”

[pm] oh, you really are sick? I, uh, I can make you soup! I'll make you soup. Is chicken noodle okay? You should take the day off if you're really feeling this bad.

[pm] FUCK ME. You really don’t have to do that! I’m on the rise to feeling better! And I don’t want to make you do that. If I make you waste your time making soup then that’s brownies that the rest of the department, specifically Regan who loves your brownies btw, could be eating.

Thanks for your concern, Bo. You’re a true friend. The best a girl could ask for.

[thefantisizingslytherin]

I need new friends! If you like any of the following, follow me and I’ll follow you back and message you!

- One Tree Hill

- Creepypasta

- Sharks

- Supernatural

- Walking Dead

- Vikings

- Falling in Reverse

- Fast and Furious

- Harry Potter

- Criminal Minds

- Wicca

- Serial Killers

- Paranormal

- Conspiracy Theories

- Disney

- Vampire Diares

- Marvel Universe

- DC Universe

- Beaches

- Universal Studios

- Stranger Things

- It

- Starkid

We’ll get along just fine! Message me!

[skeletalmoose]

Hey you don't know me but I just want to say that DARIO IS A GREAT NAME and HE SMELLS GREAT!!! Like pine trees and the forest and it's like this deep woodsy scent and HIS ARMS ARE NICE TOO. thank you.

Sweetie, no frat boy is worth this.

[fairyjeff]

@bemyfriendplease replied to your post: [pm] Hiya, Jeff! So it's been exactly 72 hours...

[pm] Okay, cool! Thanks! Bye!

[pm] Are you fucking drunk? 

Remember to drink water and eat carbs.

[thronesofshadows]

@bemyfriendplease replied to your post “[pm] Hiya, Ms. Hoffman [del: you mob boss murderer]. I was just...”

[pm] Okay, Ms. MOB LADY Evelyn! Uh, when you say expensive...how expensive? I'm just looking to snoop around

[pm] It is just Evelyn. 

Well, someone else asked to rent it out for a whole night and I told him it would cost anywhere between $250,000 and $500,000. I make a great deal of money each evening, and I am only open three evenings and two days a week, and I would prefer not to lose too much revenue. Of course, alcohol would be included in that price. 

[ordinarilyspriggan]

bemyfriendplease hat auf deinen Eintrag geantwortet “What size shoe do you wear?”

Well, you know what they say about people who have a big shoe size...

Yeah, they pay a shitton of money for custom made shoes hence they’re usually broke. 

[jane-the-zombie]

[pm] How's your stool, Jane? Keeping up with the fibre?

[pm] Ah hell, I forgot about this on the account of possibly dying

Funny you should say that, Bo, it actually wasn’t

Sure am, Bo. I’ll keep what you gave me while I’m taking my personal days.

@bemyfriendplease

[dariodanoite]

Hey Dolly! Thanks for defending me on the internet, that's really sweet of you. Do you wanna hang out? Now that the sun is out we could do something fun! Like! Uh. Um. Look at each other?

I’m being called Dolly....publicly...this is fine. Oh- you saw that? Well, she was being shitty so- it only seemed fair. And your cookies aren’t bad. People just don’t have taste. But sure. The sun is pretty usual for looking at each other. Is this about you thinking my arms look like trees?

Besides it looks like I’m not alone. Thank you for uh- defending me, as well. Even though I’m still not a nudist.

[detective-keen]

bemyfriendplease a réagi à votre billet : [pm] There's cock! [new pm] NO I MEANT TO SAY I...

[pm] Please don’t call me a cock hoarding ho. Oh! That’s really sweet of you to say, Agatha. You’re a beautiful, uh, pencil…bottle….shoe! I’m sorry. I’m just looking around and naming things. A beautiful ranch, salad….yogurt! Nope.

[pm] Ranch salad yogurt sounds great. Now I want salad, and yogurt.

Anyways, you said something about cookies ?

[mor-beck-more-problems]

bemyfriendplease replied to your post: Happy Pink Moon, White Crest! Everything is fine!...

 I thought I told you to stop scamming people

[no message recieved]