#bellas Dad btw not the pasty one

[gerudoe]

Twilight should have been a musical and should have included a song like I'm just ken but about the hot dad

[teamjacobthot]

issa twilight tag game baybee

pick 5-10 characters and write your take on the canon version of them vs. fanon version of them. fanon doesn’t have to be what is generally accepted in the fandom, it can be your own idea of what you think a character is like. then tag the same number of people as characters you pick, if you can.

I was tagged by @leahclearwaterdefensesquad so let’s get into it baybeeee

Jacob

Canon:

Absolutely 1000% adored him and his pure goodness and supportive nature up until Smeyer suddenly wrote him as a violent piece of shit and blamed it on phasing (??????)

And THEN made him a permanent house dog of the Cullens in Breaking Dawn…….. 

Y’all already know how I feel about all that so I’m not getting into it

But trash

Done dirty only bc Smeyer realized she wrote a likable love interest and had to SQUASH that shit instead of making Edward more likable :|

We been knew

Fanon:

HOWEVER

I’ve actually really, really come to love some of the fanon takes of Jacob on here!!! 

I never really had a personal headcanon before the Twilight Renaissance besides “he fixes cars, he gives good hugs, and he’s kinda sad”

This is still true but that man (rn I’m thinking of Jacob as like… a 22 year old) is CRAFTY. 

I love the fanon takes where he sells his handmade jewelry on Etsy and starts his own mechanic shop

I love a man who’s good with his hands

In my personal headcanon now, he definitely works to start his own shop or goes to college to become an engineer, has some unresolved feelings about his sisters abandoning him that eventually get resolved with time, enjoys hanging out with Billy and admires him, probably makes jewelry for his friends’ and family’s birthdays

And would make the best dad ever in the future

He’s also super patient and treats his friends like family because his own family is so fragmented

I also imagine that he can’t fucking cook but he still tries. 

Btw I reject ALL forms of canon where Jacob and any other members of the pack end up hanging out with the Cullens for eternity bc those pasty mfs ruined their lives and need to MOVE AWAY so the pack can finally get some PEACE

Bella

Canon:

Horny white girl

No friends

Doesn’t cuss

Gets married and has a baby at 18 despite literally being Team Fuck Them Kids

Fanon: 

Ngl, I’ve really disconnected with the fandom when it comes to Bella

I do agree that she stays horny

But I do think the fandom sometimes overdoes it in terms of how chaotic she is bc she just… doesn’t give me that kind of vibe. She definitely wasn’t in her right mind in New Moon so that doesn’t count

In fact I find her mentally ill and I really really really want her to get a therapist

I don’t really care for Vampire Bella bc I felt that she lost all the parts of her personality that I really enjoyed

But when it comes to Human Bella, she’s just a chill girl

She’s a Virgo. She was an adult at like, 12

In my personal headcanon, she gets the distance she needs from her mother (I think she has mommy issues tbh) and learns to be an adult not for anybody’s sake but her OWN

She doesn’t necessarily go to college, but she does what she wants

And I genuinely believe she would NOT want a kid before the age of like… 27, if at all

She would live her life at a comfortable place, have lots of sex lmao, and actually make some friends too

Not a lot for friends, just a couple good ones, Jacob included

I’ve always written her/liked seeing her written as humorous but in a super dark way — self-deprecating, sarcastic, DRY, etc. 

She definitely cusses a lot bc she finds there’s a LOT to cuss about

She absolutely smokes weed bc do y’all see how stressed she is??? She deserves it!

Let Bella Smoke A Blunt 2020

Leah Thee Clearwater

Canon:

Bitter :(

Mean “for no reason” :((((

Needs to get over it :/

Hilarious

Fanon:

The fanon depictions of Leah are my favorite so far but they do vary A LOT

I don’t really care for Leah x Angela bc while they are two tall queens, EYE frankly think Leah is too good for anybody we’ve met in the saga and needs a fresh start anyway

And staying in boring ass Clallam County for a gf does not sound like the move

I’m personally a fan of the fanon where Leah moves away after all the bullshit with the Cullens, maybe goes to school, gets a good paying job that’s actually meaningful work too, and never has to phase again

I think about Leah’s life before phasing A LOT. In my mind, she was a semi-popular athlete with hella friends and admirers but still strong and opinionated. She protects girls and women and makes sure to hold people accountable when they fuck up

Overall, my headcanon of Leah is just Canon Leah but if the world was less cruel to her. 

She’s perfect the way she is and I love her <3

Charlie

Canon:

Disgruntled cop

Drinks beer

Hates Edward

Loves Alice

Fanon:

The general fanon for Charlie is more or less the same as Canon Charlie which is like… fine

But he’s still a cop

So in my personal headcanon, he leaves the police force to do work that actually helps Forks like something within community engagement

Maybe he does volunteer work on the Quileute reservation too

Idk I just want him to be useful and not a cop

Rosalie

Canon:

Cold

Mean

Blonde

Doesn’t like Bella

Fanon:

Ok so even though she’s immortal I really imagine she’d like to be around babies and pregnant women as much as possible

I think she would do amazing as an OBGYN despite her hands being all cold lmao

IMAGINE ROSALIE DELIVERING BABIES!!!! (ASSUMING HER HANDS AREN’T TOO COLD!!!!!!)

If she couldn’t be around pregnant women and babies as much as possible I imagine her having her own mechanic shop (possibly shared with Jacob, if they could tolerate each other)

Imagine her working on cars…… I’m w*t

I could also really imagine her fucking it up in an nonprofit organization as an advocate for survivors of domestic violence and sexual assault

Overall I really appreciate the fanon that she’s soft at times and does more than just fuck lmao

Quil Ateara Thee Fifth

Canon:

Likes girls

Likes cars

Likes to hang with his friends

Fanon:

All of what’s given in canon

But he’s actually HILARIOUS

And maybe a SoundCloud rapper

The fandom doesn’t talk about Quil enough and I want that to change

Embry

Canon:

Has some sense

Pretty chill overall

Fanon:

Same as canon but WE FINALLY LEARN WHO HIS DAD IS

I feel like it’s Sam’s dad but I want confirmation

WHAT IS THE TRUTH

off the top of my head i’m tagging @rosaliehalee @bellas-dumptruck-ass @fucksmeyer @clearwaterss @embrythecall @that-crooked-smile @witchyangela and absolutely anybody who wants to do this!!!