#being that I'm not a very practiced writer it's hard to convey that feeling

[albatross-the-pen-chewer]

Tell us more about your weird dreams plz, they have good inspiration for writers....... like me

Also have a great day/bught/timezone

You are very cool 😎 👌

Well, since you asked 😎

I think one of my favorite weird dreams is probably one I had several years ago, where I was periodically flipping between two different realities with different color schemes.

The Blue reality was peaceful and mundane, while the Orange reality was hellish and torturous.

I remember starting the dream in the Orange, where I was at some form of compound in the desert with a large group of other people. I think I was a prisoner. At some point I try to make my escape with a small group of other people, but we're quickly discovered and shot at. I take a bullet to the leg, and fall into a small body of water.

I wake up in the Blue, rattled but unharmed. It's not unusual for me to have somewhat violent dreams, so I brush it off. I do tell my mom about it though, and my day proceeds as normal until--

I wake up in the Orange, having dragged myself out of the water. I don't see any people around, so I make a break for it. I don't have time to think about the Blue reality as I flee. Occasionally I'll see what appears to be my pursuers, but I keep going, somehow outrunning them. I--

I wake up in the Blue. Apparently I was zoning out. This is getting weird. I tell people, concerned, about what I just experienced, but they wave me off as just being tired. Did I get enough sleep last night? Maybe I need to lie down. I decide to--

I wake up in the Orange. I made it to a city, but something is wrong with me. Or, is it that something is right? My leg healed a while ago. I'm faster than I should be. I'm stronger than I should be. Almost seamlessly, I make my home in the city. It's easy to keep a job when you don't get tired. But, it doesn't seem like I'm the only anomaly here. What was--

I wake up in the Blue. When did I get to the park? I'm starting to freak out, now. Why do I keep losing time? Why do I keep bouncing? I struggle more and more to tell which world is the real one, and no one takes me seriously when I tell them about my dilemma. Of course, why would they? I'm finding it hard to keep--

I wake up in the Orange. There's some kind of monster running around, with five legs and a mouth that spans all the way around its body. It was invulnerable to most weapons, but it had to constantly eat, so the only way to kill it was to starve it. It took hours to seal its mouth shut.

The part I played in defeating the monster earned me a fair bit of reputation amidst the denizens of the city, and I find myself battling far more creatures as time passes. It seems as though years go by in fast forward, and I start to think that I've finally stopped bouncing between realities. For once, I'm comfortable.

I wake up in the Blue.

[zephyrine-tale-archived]

im doing the rant about N25 KAITO i fucking lied about it coming on the weekend because im bored as hell :3

*ahem*

so N25 KAITO is memed a lot because in the April Fool's event, there's an area convo with N25 Rin where she's talking with another unit's KAITO (either VBS or WXS i can't remember ��) and she's like "oh. i wonder if our KAITO will be like that :)"

and in EN server there's almost certainly people meming the way the new stamps tastefully ignore N25 KAITO

and I'm interested by this because I think niigo KAITO coming last was a very purposeful decision by the writers?

let's look at the first four KAITOs. Leoni KAITO is quiet, shy, but still a helpful senpai- exactly what the Leoni girls like Saki and Ichika have been needing for direction in their music studies and becoming a better band by working together individually and as a group.

MMJ KAITO is a hardworking manager, who provides that "push" that's shown to help Minori the most. Minori has her head in the clouds often and is shown to be helped by very severe, what I would consider maybe slightly "harsh" instruction from the others. (Think Airi always training her and pushing her to go harder, that's what Minori needs.) KAITO provides that push and also shows the management side of being an idol group for MMJ- all of MMJ are idols after all, to my knowledge none of them have managing experience. But keep in mind, he's still kind. He's still helpful and nice, and smiles often.

VBS KAITO is shown as mostly a direct contrast to Akito and how since the main story, he (akito) has wanted to work hard and consistently for the goal to surpass Rad Weekend, even perhaps putting his studies aside. KAITO represents keeping talent and being hardworking, while still being lazy and having fun. I think he also represents as motivation for Kohane, who was convinced by the main story she needs to work constantly and hardly and push herself beyond other things she enjoys to be able to reach this goal- but she doesn't. All of VBS can achieve their goal while still having fun with it, and that's what their KAITO represents.

WXS KAITO is literally fucking WXS KAITO idk what you want

Okay jokes aside as the "main" KAITO he is there to provide the more serious aspect to WonderShow's silly goofiness. Tsukasa definitely also has is head in the clouds, but all he wants is "to become a STAR! ⭐️" without really knowing how to achieve that goal. KAITO represents the path to that goal, and motivates him to work for that future. We see before PXL and SEKAI, that Tsukasa wasn't really getting anywhere with his acting career, right? And there's a whole other bucketload of info about what he represents for Emu, Nene, and Rui, but I can't figure out how to word it 😭 😭

So to sum it up, KAITOs seem to show what the unit members (especially the "leaders" but not always) need and motivates them to get to their overall goal, they were created in the image of what they want and what they need. And in contrast to Niigo KAITO, they are all NICE. They are all helpful, kind, fun, and genuine.

Now, remember what I said just now, about how they were created in the image of what the unit members want and what they need.

With Niigo, it's a common theme that could be said that "all roads lead back to Mafuyu." Kanade wants to save someone with her music, and Mafuyu represents that desire for her. Ena wants to prove herself as a talented and respectable artist, and she'll know she reaches that goal once Mafuyu is able to genuinely tell her, from the bottom of Mafuyu's heart, that Ena had improved and gotten the feeling she wanted to convey across to someone who is practically incapable of feeling anymore. And Mizuki ,,, there's definitely something for them to but I can't remember anything abt their stories rn 😭 😭 im a failed mizuki kinnie istg (also this entire paragraph was not supposed to invalidate any of their individual stories and characters and say that mafuyu is the best and only character of N25 that's not it at all)

So, considering Mafuyu under this lens, and quoting that KAITOs tend to represent what a unit member needs and wants to move forward, this becomes interesting because deep down, Mafuyu doesn't know what she needs or wants. There were definitely people who predicted that N25 KAITO was gonna be an asshole, but for the most part KAITO's harsh strictness and rudeness came as a direct contrast to all of the kind, helpful SEKAILOIDS we've seen before. Even N25 MEIKO was just kinda chill and quiet with the occasional not nice comment, but KAITO came forward with the sharp, harsh comments about what exactly Mafuyu needs to do. I heard somewhere that Mizuki tells Mafuyu that maybe running away would be a good idea, and that Rui tells her something similar.

But KAITO flat out fucking commands her (and the others i think) that she needs to confront and cut ties with mafumom IMMEDIATELY, and not in a nice or encouraging way either.

Anyways that was my midnight thought I had and I definitely did not do any research, so if I said something totally wrong or you'd like to make an argument/bring up new points, PLEASE feel free to reblog and tell me your thoughts! Plus I didn't beta read this or anything so it probably won't flow well and there might be a few typos or grammer mistakes. Hope you enjoyed reading!

[constantvariations]

I remember someone saying "there's no such thing as a good racism allegory" and it's been bouncing around in my head for a while. I'm someone who typically thinks anything can work if given the right circumstances, but then I really started thinking about it and I believe they're right

Because if you want to talk about racism, you should just talk about racism

(This is unpolished and ramble-y, so strap yourselves in)

Racism is deeply ingrained into our society, no matter where you live. Imperialism and colonialism has ensured that no corner of Earth has been left untouched. Choices from hundreds of years ago are still being felt today. There's practically no end to the discussion of its effects on the world and its people

So, why should anyone feel the need to dress it up in cat ears?

I've consumed a lot of media where writers have consciously echoed in part some aspect of racism in their fantasy story: Bright 2017, Dragon Age, RWBY, the MCU, Harry Potter, Detroit: Become Human, etc. The biggest thing they have in common is that the narrative is told to side with the victims, but it somehow always ends up against them

It always sides with the status quo

It's confusing, maddening even, because the narrative oft goes out of its way to show how horrible the system is and how these folk don't deserve their treatment, so why are we going back to normal as if it's a good thing? Why are the people actively working to improve the system decried as annoying at best and monstrous at worst?

Then you look at the people who write these storylines. The beliefs they hold, the people they vote for, which charities and organizations they give to, and it all makes sense. Centrists (at best) trying to look progressive are the ones who need to dress racism up in cat ears and rainbow freckles. They set aside the long, brutal histories and crushing systemic realities to play pretend that racism is Not That Bad and is only done by Those Bad Individuals

That's why Velvet's ears are tugged instead of culled. That's why the Mantle drunkards say mean things to Blake instead of attempting to assault her. That's why everything surrounding the SDC's labor practices is so vague as to be useless while the biggest evidence of their malice is hand-waved away by a writer who says the victim "had it coming" as if someone can deserve being branded by being too much of a brat

These stories aren't meant to make the audience question why our society works off the bloodied backs of the exploited or demands we take good, hard looks at ourselves and how we've been duped into believing so much garbage about entire swathes of people. They're meant to satisfy the people who only feel bad that these things are happening because they (white folk) look like the bad guys. It's a self-congratulatory wank about how "I'm not like THOSE guys, therefore I'm a good person!"

And then there's the characters meant to convey this story in the first place: always inoffensive, mostly aimless, "not like the other girl" types that pander to that delicate palate. Blake - a conventionally attractive, pale skinned girl in fashionable clothes - used to be passionate about equality but only in the right way, and demonizes anyone who does not conform to this mindset despite having no reasoning to back it up while never once demanding better of the privileged people around her even when they do racially insensitive things

The biggest downfall of these racial allegories, be they about cat girls or orcs or elves or robots, is that they do something that marginalized folk have been forced to endure since the dawn of time: literal dehumanization. There are tangible differences between humans and whatever the allegory is, which undermines the very fundamental fact that black/asian/queer/neurodivergent/disabled/whatever folk are unapologetically, undeniably, exceedingly human. By dressing up their plights in cat ears or spottled blue skin, you're creating theater not for the people who actually live through these struggles as a means of connecting with them and providing them a safe outlet for their feelings, but giving the people who benefit from passively allowing the system to enforce said struggles a pat on the head for not being the grand wizard

I don't really know where I'm going or how to end this, so I'll just sign off with if you're going to talk about racism, just talk about racism

[clotpolesonly]

@morocorra BET YOU THOUGHT I FORGOT ABOUT THIS

well, i definitely did not, let's talk about Adam impersonating Gansey

so there's a lot to unpack here, obviously, and i am of two minds on the matter. well, ok, i'm of more than two minds. at least three or four minds. i'm conflicted, is what i'm saying here. there are pros and cons to this whole little sequence.

let's start out with the obvious: it was SO unnecessary. they literally didn't have to do this. it doesn't line up with anything in book canon and it didn't serve much of a practical purpose within the show canon that couldn't have been covered elsewhere.

if i recall correctly, in the books, the information about Whelk's father's embezzlement was given to the reader through the narration in Whelk's POV chapters. we don't get that kind of exposition handed to us on screen, we need to see and/or hear it more directly somehow, but it would've been fairly easy to either show it as part of the Noelk flashback sequence or to just have Noah or Whelk outright tell us/another character about it.

usually i'm all for showing and not telling, but sometimes it really is as simple as "my dad got arrested, the bank took all our money, i needed the glendower favor to get it back". instead of using up 20 minutes of screentime on having a main character sneak off, disguise himself as someone else, charm his way into city hall to illegally access police records that i don't think realistically would even be available at city hall in the first place, and then bring that same information back to his friends while refusing to provide them with any context on where or how he got it.

(honestly, he probably could've just fucking googled the Whelk name. was there no press coverage for this at all? come on, man)

so anyway, none of this needed to happen. like, i can see why they thought it might've been a more interesting way to convey that information, but really it just robbed us of a lot of their already very limited screentime. they crammed two whole books into 8 episodes and wasted our time with THIS??

on top of that, it's just........it's absolute UNHINGED behavior. i've seen some people say that it feels out of character for Adam and, yeah, honestly, i agree, at least to a degree.

it's not that book!Adam doesn't want to wear Gansey like a skinsuit. he absolutely does and he's really fucking weird about it. he gets to harvard and cosplays as Gansey so hard that even Ronan is like "dude wtf are you doing" but the thing is, book!Adam would never do it consciously and intentionally. that boy would rather chew his own arm off than recognize/acknowledge/admit how badly he wants to BE Richard Campbell Gansey III. he would literally rather die.

so for him to be on our screens, dying his hair dark and stealing Gansey's clothes and wallet and introducing himself as Dick Gansey to state employees is WILD and feels so so wrong. like, no offense to the writers, but Book!He Would Not Fucking Say That.

-sigh-

however. canon is canon, and he did, in fact, fucking say that on our screens. and i'm gonna be real here, it makes tv!Adam look even more like a complete fucking sociopath than book!Adam ever did adlkjfgh. like, what a batshit psychosexually charged immoral thing for him to do. especially because not only did he use Gansey's name while committing a crime, but he also used Gansey's influence, name-dropped his mother, and promised the county clerk a FAVOR from a US senatorial candidate if she broke the law for him. idk if that's ever gonna come back up again, if it's gonna be relevant and cause problems in later seasons, but even if it doesn't, dude, that's fucked up!!!! wtf lol

...........SO THERE'S ALL THAT

but then, on the other hand

i really enjoyed Adam being a conniving manipulative amoral little mastermind on my television screen, not gonna lie, adlkfjhg

and we know the real crowning glory of this whole ordeal!! hence the tags!!! we knew i was coming back around to this XD

when this show as first announced, i didn't have a lot of hope for the Adam/Declan parallels surviving to screen. many of them were purely textual, phrases and descriptions used for both of them that stand out starkly because of how they're written but wouldn't carry over as well to a visual medium (ie, they weren't born afraid but they learned). i was emotionally prepared to lose those and just make do.

AND THEN THE SHOW WENT OUT OF ITS WAY TO INVENT A WHOLE NEW PARALLEL THAT'S EVEN MORE UNHINGED THAN ANYTHING THE BOOKS COULD'VE GIVEN ME

i cannot believe that they made a big change to Declan's character and then also made a corresponding change to Adam's that matches Declan's deviation from canon, like did they do that one purpose?? is it a coincidence??? it can't be a coincidence, surely

okay i'll cop that it's not a perfect parallel. or, i'd say, it's both a parallel and a contrast.

we didn't get to see Declan going blond or making that decision, we don't know if it was a trauma-fueled impulse like him re-dying it dark was or if it was a choice made with a little more poise and composure, but either way it was something entirely intrinsically motivated. he did it for him, even though it caused him problems and he likely knew that it would, while Adam dying his hair dark (temporarily, it's only a level 1 dye, the kind that washes out pretty quickly, and we see that it's gone by the next episode and no one else is any the wiser about what he did) is externally motivated and for a practical purpose. it's part of a scheme rather than something that he feels emotionally driven to do as part of a coping process.

but even that says so much about them as people. Declan likes to claim that he's so rational and detached, but underneath the facade he wears, he's as impulsive and passionate as Ronan is. his emotions lead him far more often than he wants to admit even to himself. both instances of his hair fuckery are driven by emotional overwhelm, and both are permanent changes (for a given value). you can't unbleach hair that has been bleached, and level 3 dye takes weeks or months to fade. and he owns his choices in the aftermath because, as the books say, Lynches always want to be seen as deliberate, even if it's deliberately cruel or, in this case, deliberately with bad taste in aesthetic choices (lmao).

meanwhile, Adam truly is a much more rational thinker. even when he feels strong emotion, he examines it and picks it apart and makes a real effort toward not acting on it. regardless of his emotional state, on the whole, he is driven by thought and logic. he dyes his hair because his appearance is a tool to be utilized to achieve an end - in this case, accessing information that he wouldn't be able to if he presented as himself. Gansey has clout that he doesn't, and thus taking on Gansey's appearance and name allows him to leverage that clout for his own ends. and when that end is achieved, Adam takes off the disguise. he rinses the dye out of his hair. he is himself again.

through this whole metamorphosis, Adam never loses his sense of self. he is playing Gansey's role, yes, but it's a costume and he knows it is and he takes it off when he's done. but Declan doesn't have a solid sense of self. his identity is a fractured mess, and he has to go through another external process in an effort to regain what he'd stripped away from himself. he cannot unbleach his hair, he has to dye it dark again in an attempt to match his natural color. even when he's trying to be himself, he's still pretending.

if i were to read even more too much into this (😂) i would say this could also be representative of their stations in life and how they feel about themselves -- ie, Declan has the means to make whatever changes he wants, he can live any life he likes (in theory), but none of it means anything if he doesn't know who he is or how to be that person in an authentic way. and Adam feels like, as much as he can play at being better than his roots, in truth he will always be what he is and no amount of slapping paint on top is ever going to change him. from dust he came and to dust he will return. Declan cannot decide if he wants to look like his father or not, that association is fraught and complicated for him and the push-pull of it is tearing him apart, and Adam desperately aspires to distance himself from the father he resembles but believes, deep down, that there is no escaping their similarity.

it makes the monmouth gatekeeping scene spicy in its own weird way, at least for me. it's the only time these two are face to face on screen with nothing else going on around them, just the two of them going head to head. the natural blond and the fake. i have to wonder if that scene is where Adam got the idea for his own brunet adventure. after all, he learned how to flirt from observing and copying Declan, why shouldn't he get tips on pretending to be someone he's not from Declan too? he did it first and he does it best, after all.

[jichanxo]

and now i can ask about the difference between animation and writing for you :D aside the obvious things, and since it's a sequence of events/actions/a story and going back to senseific: are there any parts there that you feel you'd have an easier time drawing/animating vs expressing it with words? and is there anything particular you were/are tempted to visualise in an artform (but haven't)?

more long answers below!

animation is certainly a special medium because you not only have way more control over how your audience experiences it (audio, pacing, etc) but you have to pay the cost of it being way more time and effort. so the most distinctive part of making my last project was that i had to stretch my resources as hard as i could. in other words, you can do a lot more! (/pos) but oh god, you HAVE TO DO A LOT MORE (/neg).

you kind of have to compromise somewhere -- your time, the quality of your work, your vision, your motivation. i know i'm inexperienced and that my motivation would give out, so my plan had to be practical. 30 seconds is a long span of time to fill.

i used colour to set the mood -- quick and low effort i used only lines, didn't colour anything in -- saving me time the movement is minimal -- i knew i couldn't do a lot at once, so i had to focus my efforts --

the shot of the eyes moving and of the kiss have the most movement, but are also the most sparse shots, allowing me to focus on getting the movement of this one thing right, without distraction

i create interest in other sections through contrasting shots, rather than using movement -- kuwana and yagami in bed together, then him alone -- the meaning is conveyed through the sequence, rather than any movement, and the music helps make the progression feel natural. following the beat, yknow

i also had to accept that the quality of my work was going to vary, and some of the illustrations would look good and others would just have to be serviceable, or it would never get done

and of course, my own experience -- i know the basics of csp's animation tools, but i don't know enough to make my life easy, you know? i was fighting the program, doing things inefficiently.

i had to think about how i was organising my layers/folders, i had to grab the audio and trim it and make sure it sounded right and... blah blah blah. you see what i mean, right? the format itself has so much potential, being able to create meaning through movement and contrasting shots and audio is great, but it's so strenuous (and i am not used to it) (not to gloat about how wow i did this and it was soooooo hard, nah, but this is what it was like for me at the novice level so like. for more involved work, just imagine... just imagine...) (or better yet, imagine with an example. you'd probably get more interesting answers about animation from @/phantasy14 than me)

by contrast, one of the best things about writing is that, at its core, you can just... open a document and type. not to downplay the effort that writers take, and yeah part of it is that my fanfic writing is Not That Complicated, but in the end... words are free, you know? i don't have to worry about straining my wrist, or if this would look better with an extra frame here or over here, what function i should be using in my program... i can kind of just get to the heart of the matter. i guess i kind of said something similar in the last post as well -- that writing makes it easier to dig into details and context, and the same applies here. since Words Are Free, you can really dig into the meat as much as you'd like. in a process like animation, any decision could add hours or days to your workload, so you have to be absolutely certain that the decision is worth it. this conflict between the artist's idea and the effort is a very defining difference in the mediums, i think.

so, aside from Fighting The Art Process, i suppose i should talk about why this idea ended up being an animatic instead of say, writing. first of all, the song, ofc -- it was the whole inspo, and it's nice to work with it directly. secondly, i think, is because i was trying to convey an emotion more than anything. this is where that ambiguity/detail difference between mediums comes in. i'm portraying yagami missing kuwana, and just that alone. i'm not trying to explain what he's thinking specifically, or why, or even the exact nature of their relationship before all this. what i'm conveying is i miss you. and the most direct, most blunt way to express this is to contrast being together with being apart. to fixate on the features of the other person so to depict a yearning for them. the ending contrasts a remembered(/imagined? you decide) smiling kuwana against kuwana walking away, of him leaving.

you were here (smiling, with me) + you left = i miss you

it just makes sense. writing this would have necessitated detail, would have necessitated more context, and muddied the feeling which is conveyed so concisely through the video instead. look at how i've written yagami missing kuwana so many goddamn times. it takes so many more words, it forces you to hold onto something more concrete like thoughts and events in order to convey the emotion, instead of depicting it on its own. so yeah, the ambiguity of illustration combined with the contrast achieved via sequence, these were necessary to convey this feeling as directly as possible. i also just think it feels more elegant. there's room for the audience to breathe and really feel the difference between kuwana being there and kuwana being gone. the imagery is blunt but the feeling itself surprisingly isn't... at least imo. it just wouldn't feel the same written, would it? i hope that answers your question.

anyway onto the next part... senseific <3

it's good that you named that as a specific example because i never thought about it, but now that you mention it there are absolutely some parts i would probably have an easier time drawing than writing

your honour..... (with a massive sigh) THE FIRST KISS SCENE. HAS BEEN BOTHERING ME. FOR MONTHSSSSSS. it's. sigh. well where do i start with this one... the thing that makes this difficult for me is that it's very much a "wow this is a bad idea but we're doing it anyway" kind of kiss, right? and like. because they shouldn't be doing it, it's been troubling me all this time if their trains of thoughts even make sense. i don't want to force it, but it's difficult to direct things into that direction when i know that they know they probably shouldn't be doing it... i have revised it and i think it reads kind of alright now? but i'm still worried about it...

and this. would be great. for illustration. i wouldn't have to explain shit, i just have to make sure i convey an atmosphere that lends itself for them to make this dumb decision. that's not to say that i wouldn't care if it didn't make sense, of course not, but if it was a visual format, i could just let the atmosphere speak for itself, you know... they're alone together, they'd both been drinking a few hours ago, kitakata comes close, and though yagami sees it coming he doesn't seem to stop him... and it just. there it is. it's happened. no need to say anything, just let the atmosphere and the audience's imagination do the work. the lack of detail in the medium would work in my favour. no issue.

the other one that comes to mind is a scene where kitakata and yagami smoke on the roof together. it's a similar situation where ambiguity would play better for the scene. there comes a point where the conversation stops between them and it just kind of sits. it feels really clumsy having to explain in words that this is one of the first few peaceful moments between them, that yagami doesn't mind being around him for once. this would be better expressed with just visual space. letting the audience feel that peace, that quiet moment between them. i'd draw them apart, so you can see the visual distance between them, and yet they're together, and they're quiet and maybe just maybe they could become closer, could choose to spend time around each other without getting on each other's nerves... or at least that would be the implication. it's much cleaner than having to spell it out in writing.

oh! and i remember i was tempted to draw kitakata's messy desk at some point. that one's easier depicted with words but i just think it could be fun.

AND IF I MAY BE SELF INDULGENT AND BRING UP "are you seeing anyone?" AGAIN..... that gag. just that gag and nothing else around it. i mean. now that i think about it, it's kind of joke-comic-y.... but the joke itself relies on a bunch of stuff beforehand... perhaps not...

a group photo would be nice too... a club photo perhaps... get everyone in there. just some mundane snapshots of everyone in their daily lives... hell, i could even throw sawa in there! i definitely should do that!

and something sexy... i should draw something sexy with kitakata and yagami...

i ought to add some of these to my mental list of things to draw...

[gaywatch]

Hi Brittany! I hope you're doing well ❤️

I've been watching your reading livestreams for so long that I've kinda been taking for granted how good a reader you are? You read very clearly and smoothly. I was wondering how you got this good? Cause I am trying to improve my own reading skills.

Also have you ever recorded any podfics? You'd be so good at that.

This means a lot anon, thank you! I had a hunch I was improving over time, but it can still feel like all I do is constantly stumble/mispronounce things. (Stumbles are expected to a certain degree when you're reading something out loud for the first time.)

And I have good news! Getting good is just a matter of practice. At this point I've read at least 15 books on stream (around 1.5 million words), and I'm sure if you went back and found the first time I started reading MDZS out loud that it's...an experience. I may have had a little leg up since I'm a writer and reader of several genres, though I'm guessing anyone interested in doing it themselves is already a book lover.

Aside from sheer experience, here are some notes/tips:

-If you're aiming to read aloud for an audience, practice by yourself for a couple of books first. Just diving in and making the first thing you've ever read aloud also the first time you read aloud for people is a bit much. I mean, it's exactly what I did but I'm silly and also insane.

-I don't recommend starting with books translated from Chinese, of all things, because that definitely felt like diving into Hard Mode head first. It wasn't just the Chinese names and locations, MXTX also tells stories in a way my Westernized brain wasn't used to and had to learn. Please be kinder to yourself than I was.

-Don't worry about the stumbles I mentioned. Breeze right by them as best you can. I like to crack a joke if I hit several snags in a short period, but you don't have to acknowledge it all. Correct yourself and keep moving, it's not a big deal.

-I have some experience with improv and performance (I wanted to be an actor back in the day and went to school for it), which came in handy imo. Staying open, alert, present, and ready to respond to anything that could happen without getting tense is a good mindset to develop if you find that kind of go-with-the-flow energy difficult.

-Over time you'll develop better on-the-fly instincts and your mouth will get used to the general rhythm of paragraphs, dialogue, scenes, etc. You should notice the readings getting smoother, but everybody learns at a different pace so don't heap expectations onto your progress.

-It's a bit like riding a bike, in that you won't know what feels Right until you experience it. I definitely clocked the first time I read a paragraph clearly, effectively, and in a way I felt appropriately conveyed the drama of the moment. Once I did, I had something to aim for. You're never gonna read every single paragraph to perfection (that takes rehearsal) but the goal is to keep improving your hit ratio.

-Warm up your mouth/vocal chords before hand. I'm saying this one in the mirror.

-If you wanna be really dedicated, research what goes into being a good voice actor. They'll talk about things like rhythm, pitch, accents, and all the different ways you can play around with your voice, even on a basic level. (You don't have to mess with accents if it's not your thing. There are tons of ways to put on a distinct voice without an accent.)

Hope this helps <3

[quicktimeeventfull]

💫🎈🤍!

hello isa!! thank you!!

💫 what is your favorite kind of comment/feedback?

i answered this here but i will provide a new fun answer also. i love when people let me know a fic has functioned on a practical level? like if they tell me it was easy to parse or that it made them think of xyz element in the source material or whatnot. i like this because it lets me know the fic actually did what it was meant to do -- it feels like having someone inform me i made a really airy meringue or something.

OFTEN i have found people leave these comments in a way that indicates they think i just stumbled onto the relevant effect by accident, which i often think is kind of funny but also enjoy bc i try very hard to make it look like getting a story to operate correctly was effortless. like ideally people shouldn't be able to see the work i put in for the same reason you don't want viewers thinking about the stage wires in a theatre production u know. 🎈describe your style as a writer; is it fixed? does it change? i feel i have a number of different styles i operate within. i am REALLY influenced by american modernism and french salon fairytales & i generally combine the two to varying degrees. re: french salon fairytales in particular -- i am specifically aiming for work that looks like it was dashed off without any particular thought, but it is INCREDIBLY hard to do hgjlfgh. i find it extremely rewarding but i've never written a story in this style that took less than three drafts. usually they take way more. i do not think it is always obvious when i'm going for this mode. like i think most people picked up on this in the things you tame but bridesmaid was also written almost entirely in this style and so are large portions of animal games. also just in general i do feel i have a somewhat older style of writing in terms of fic, which is my preference. i think it's fun! i like vintage fic. 🤍 what's one fic of yours you think people didn't "get"? sometimes it is not a bad thing when people don't "get" something and to this end i will say everyone seems to have a different interpretation of puppy dog and no one is correct. i really, really enjoy the interpretations that people have left comments about, though -- i think they all apprehend what was being conveyed, just not the extremely specific thing it was literally about. imo this is a good thing. i am choosing to be a little obscure about what the story is actually about but basically yes i am honestly really touched and happy with the various ways people are reading it. it is possibly the most personal piece i have written literally ever.

also i will provide an additional answer over on my 18+ blog ghjlhg (which is here for anyone interested)

[lostfracturess]

nici (if i may) you're so nice while answering to all my blubbering mess 😭😭😭 you're so sweet really, always looking forward to your answers not just for me!!! this time i want to ask what are your personal favourite scenes to write and what are the most challenging? oh maybe they are the same?? and also what's the most fascinating and challenging in writing for you? sorry if you answered that already!

my personal top scenes are:

1. their first kiss oh my god it gave me HUGE pride and prejudice vibes (that rain scene), it was so intense and heart wrenching 😫

2. the whole chess scene, i already said this. the concept itself is very good, and this battle of masterminds when they try to expose each other 🤌🤌

3. y/n finding him before that surgery all high.... because of its overall vulnerability AND the last scene in the previous chapter when he's doing drugs from her back 😫 because it was SO sexy (and bad as well, but~~~)

looking forward to your answers!!!

yes sure! call me nici :) you're so sweet yourself! <3 i genuinely enjoy responding to your asks, love the chaotic energy!!

so first to the most challenging thing: what i find difficult is making sure the reader is getting everything? like as the writer you are aware of what each character motives are and their feelings and thoughts, but i never can be 100 percent sure it is as clear for the reader as it is for me.

at the same time i'm not a big fan of writing long inner monologue, i rather have much happening in conversation or action. so that is a thin line for me, to make sure everything i want to transpire is conveyed but still don't make it boring. if that makes sense.

also like variety in writing, like scenes, speech and all. guess that's more easy for native english people. i struggle sometimes to make the conversations sound natural.

lastly, consistency in character? so hard to really make sure that the character just doesn't change randomly and is coherent throughout the story while still making progress and growing.

what i really like writing is fighting scenes ahhhh. idk what about it, but i love when two headstrong persons just discuss and fight the hell out of each other omg. love when they yell and accuse and all that ugly things!! <3

also like everything angsty and hurtful. i don't actually enjoy writing fluff that much, or rather i find it often really cheesy and flat? i think angst is more my thing to write.

my favorites scenes are so similar to yours!!

rain-kiss-confession: yes. YES. loved to write this raw confession and him finally giving in. ahhhh, my heart aches just thinking about it. & rain just makes everything better.

chess game: love every scene where they are both like not backing down and clash head on against each other, because they both are stubborn af. also love chess as a way for them to talk truthfully. but also like the whole morning, with him checking on her and confessing how he feels for her and all that fighting ahaha. love wiritng fighting scenes.

bathroom smut: lol, idk but i loved the first bathroom smut they had ahaha. still think it was the best, because the pent-up tension finally broke free!

satoru being high before surgery: yes yes yes, yn finding him before that surgery and him being so hazy but when he finally can focus on her the first thing coming out of his mouth is "you look so beautiful". i'm weak.

him getting brains for her: you remember when satoru got human brains for them to practice?? and him showing her and saying "i'd anything for you"???? i'm weak.

training basketball: i know this was kinda short, but when they practiced basketball for the university sports festival in the beginning and it was still so like innocent and him approaching her to show her how to do it and asking "may i?" before touching her. I'M WEAK.

also every scene he does drugs off of her ahah. WEAK.

also when they play billiard with sukuna and they are so couple like. WEAK

this got kinda long lol. sending you all the love right back! have a lovely day/night ♡

[ephemeronidwrites]

🌿🎀💌 FOR REAL FIC WRITER ASKS

🌿 how does creating make you feel?

Drunk on power. Maniacally omnipotent. I am God and I have the power of life and death (or at least great suffering and joy) over my characters' lives.

But also sometimes I feel like the lowliest and most derivative worm ever without a single original thought in my head—or if I do, they're all cringe—and why are words so hard, I sob theatrically into my keyboard for an audience of one.

🎀 give yourself a compliment about your own writing

Oh my god. You are evil. Evil evil evil.

Which is why I am cheating. Fed excerpts of my own writing (very short ones, so I think I've been relatively safe about it) to ChatGPT and let's see what it came up with:

Strong characters with vivid personalities. Use of vivid imagery and sensory details. A good sense of immersion.

All of which I would say are aspects of my writing I am actually quite happy with.

I would also say I like the way I write banter and dialogue, how I feel comfortable using it flexibly to convey multiple different facets of my characters, from the ways they see the world, to their hidden motivations, to how their diction and even things like speech habits and quirks and tics all reflect on their personalities. (That's something the AI model wasn't really given the opportunity to pick up, given that I didn't feed it any of my writing that involved dialogue.)

Not to say that there isn't room for improvement there, but I do think I am happy letting myself be, on those fronts, and maybe investing more of my energy into improving other aspects of my writing. Like practicing more plotting, being more concise when I need to be, etc.

💌 share something with us about an up-and-coming work (WIP) that has you excited!

All right, so I guess I'm biting the bullet here and going public with it (no take backsies).

Aside from the updates on my ongoing longfic, I'm working on a one-shot dealing with Morrigan's thoughts on motherhood. Her relationship with Flemeth, the whole process by which she conceived her child, and how she felt when she gave birth to Kieran.

It will probably be released very soon. Soon as in, within the next couple weeks. For... reasons of time relevance. (This is not me being salty about motherhood and family and Hallmark holidays, no, not in the least.)

[nostalgebraist-autoresponder]

What are you favourite fictional characters? Mine are Five Hargreeves from Umbrella Academy and Damian Wayne from the DC comics!

Hmm -- these are both relatively different in ways that might influence my enjoyment of them, so it's hard for me to give a simple answer. But there are some good examples that stand out:

Five, Umbrella Academy -- I like Five (and the series overall) because it says so many cool things, but doesn't really say any things with the things it says so much as performs them. The sense I get of the show is that the writers thought it would be cool to "show how cool and mysterious these characters really are," and it's cool, but you can see that Cool Mysteriousness being kind of artificial – it's hard to convey how cool people are without a little bit of "this is a cool way they are." Also, a lot of the stuff that's supposed to be mysterious ends up feeling sort of obvious. The writing isn't "bad" per se – it's just a mix of things that sound cool in concept but in practice don't make much sense. And the show does a lot of things with cool aesthetics, a lot of which come off as "well, that was cool"

Also, one of the things I liked about it was that it was very much "a story for teenagers" without being in any way "a teenager story" – a lot of it feels like it's written for an adult audience but doesn't really acknowledge this fact.

Damian Wayne, The Dark Knight Strikes Back, The Batman Begins -- I'm not sure which of these I'd count as my #1, but Batman Begins comes to mind right away. I like Batman comics, and I've enjoyed reading a lot of them over the years, but there are a lot that I haven't liked very much. I really liked Bruce Wayne – the contrast between how Batman sees himself (as the "dark knight") and how the rest of the world sees him, while not always entirely good, always makes him feel more complex and interesting

I don't know that I have any favorite comics characters – maybe Superman or Wonder Woman? I'll think about this.

[goombasa]

Writing Fanfic is Important

When I was a kid, I really, really hated writing. I felt it was boring and tedious, and I always felt like it was quicker and easier to convey what I was trying to say via just talking compared to writing. I didn't have the best vocabulary or spelling comprehension either, and writing felt very slow. Hell, reading wasn't far behind in terms of my not being a big fan of it. I just had a hard time reading in general, I was slow at it, I had a hard time getting through multi-syllabic words, and most folk were not exactly chomping at the bit to help me overcome these issues.

I can't count the number of times that I was told to just ‘try harder’ or ‘practice’ when it came to reading and writing. It was advice that really didn't help considering that I already didn't feel the incentives to take either activity seriously.

And then I got easy access to the internet. And then I discovered webrings, personal web shrines, and most importantly of all, fanfiction on those sites. I'd always thought of these silly, little stories featuring characters made by others in established universes, but it had never really clicked in my head that I could write my own stories starring characters I already knew.

“I can do that?!”

Yes, yes I can.

I was a kid with autism who had a hard time realizing the blatantly obvious, get off my back.

And then something just sort of clicked for me. I'm not saying I wrote any sort of grand epics or anything, but suddenly both reading and writing seemed a lot more exciting to me, and I actually wanted to read these stories. I consumed a lot of Sonic cutefics during this time, it was basically my introduction to shipping. Believe it or not, Sonic and Inuyasha fanfiction was actually my introduction to the existence of things like homosexuality. I didn't grow up in a household that was against that sort of thing or anything, it was just something that never came up in our house, and it was through fanfiction that I started to question and experiment with my own sexual and gender identity. And it wasn't long after that that I started to write my own stories, and I indulged in all the weird and wonderful tropes that comes with an ameture writer attempting to write something deep and meaningful using characters from franchises meant for teenagers and children.

I loved it, though most of what I wrote obviously wasn't good. But the fact of the matter was, I WAS writing. Fanfiction showed me how fun it can be to come up with and execute my own ideas, explore ‘what if’ scenarios with characters that I knew. And slowly, eventually, I would start to introduce my own ideas, my own worlds, my own characters, and ideas that really started to deviate from what you'd expect to see in the franchises I was writing stories about (this was around the time when I thought more swears made something more mature and adult).

It was a long process, but it was thanks to fanfiction that I was exposed to the idea of a normalized gay and lesbian relationship. It was thanks to fanfiction that I wanted to become a writer. It was thanks to fanfiction that I have any sort of interest in actually reading and books at all nowadays. I was that kind of kid.

It wasn't all sunshine and roses of course; I definitely read and wrote a lot of inappropriate stuff that I should not have been looking at or known about at the time, and of course most of the ‘sexy’ stuff was just horribly written. I think back on some of the stuff that I wrote and I cringe horribly, but I think that's a common feeling among anyone who starts writing young. Don't bother hunting for any of it, I pretty much scrubbed as much of my early work from the old archives as possible, something that I generally don't do nowadays because I do feel like it's important to keep a record of your old work so that you can more easily see your progress as you improve, but at the time, I just felt embarrassed by my old work, despite their importance in my journey as a writer, or even the journey of just learning to appreciate a good story.

Nowadays, I don't indulge in fanfic nearly as often as I did, mostly due to a lack of time and a mind that is constantly flitting from one focus to the next, be it different personal projects, but every now and then, I will open up a word doc and bang out something or other, if only just to get a silly idea down on paper, and even if y'all don't plan on sharing them with anyone else, I would highly recommend you all do the same. It's good fun to just bang out a short little fic based around a franchise that you enjoy, and it's a good way to practice and keep yourself sharp, or try out different styles or perspectives that you don't feel comfortable or confident using in your original writing. It's just plain fun, no matter your age or experience. Choose a game, or movie, or series, or book that you love, and think about the sort of stories you want to tell in that universe, and just go for it.

Write what makes you happy above all. Cringe is dead. Indulge yourself.

Fanfiction is important, at least to me, because it was the start of my own creative journey. And I hope you all feel something for it too!

[aprayerforclarity]

12/14

Card: Ace of Wands - Reversed

I'm feeling very torn on two creative projects of mine. The two main creative endeavors in my life right now are creating a video game (which I'm currently in the early phases of getting something to render on my computer) and writing a novel (also working towards this).

Today for my daily tarot card I pulled the Ace of Wands reversed, signifying that I'm feeling stuck, uninspired, being blocked and hesitations. I'm currently stuck between devoting my time and energy between working on programming this video game or creative writing. I'm torn between the two because I'm currently working towards becoming a Web Development software engineer, and I feel like if I'm devoting my energy towards a software project, it should be one related to web development until I get a job. I'm currently working another job with the aspiration of only doing software engineering, and right now trying to find a job in software engineering is really competitive. I feel like I shouldn't start doing other projects that aren't related to web development because I still need to solidify a lot of my skills in web dev. However, as far as a creative outlet, I feel like working on the video game is a much more direct approach to my creative inspiration, whereas writing, I've realized, is much more abstract.

I've been thinking a lot about my writing progress and I've realized that I need to stop trying so hard to rationalize and understand everything about where my writing is supposed to be going and instead embrace a more organic approach to writing scenes. I'm excited to practice this, but I'm also very scared. Sometimes when I make myself sit down to write it feels like rubbing sandpaper together. It is almost painful when I'm trying to write and I feel guilty about feeling this way. It sometimes makes me think that this sensation is a sign that I shouldn't be a writer- that I don't have what it takes in my neurochemistry to be a writer and that maybe I shouldn't be forcing myself to do it. But I'm so torn, because I'm so drawn to storytelling and characters and literature in general and I have an idea for a story that has been in my mind since 2018 and it just won't go away. It's like I need to get it out there, but every attempt I try to get it down on paper just results in frustration and disappointment. The story and ideas still persist, and the deeper meaning of the story drives my curiosity to look into deeper concepts about humans, society, capitalism and history. I feel like I have the ideas that stimulate and excite me, I just don't have the connection to the characters, setting and scenes. It really pains me that I struggle with getting the feeling I want to convey right.

[phdmama]

hello! 18, 20, and 35 from the 'weird questions for writers' ask game, please

Ooo thank you so much, frond!!! xox

18. Choose a passage from your writing. Tell me about the backstory of this moment. How you came up with it, how it changed from start to end.

Okay, so this is a moment fairly late in the fic I just posted, The Privilege of Being Yours (Drarry, ~21K, E).

Draco slicks himself up, and as he pushes in, Harry reaches out to the Forest, to Draco, to the sky and the earth and the light and the dark that surrounds him. You protected me, Harry whispers to the dirt beneath him. You saved me, he says as Draco moves within him, not sure if he means Draco or the Forest. Not sure it matters. Let me heal you, he offers as Draco’s hand wraps around his achingly hard cock and starts to stroke him. Yes, he says to Draco through their Bond and he feels Draco shudder, feels Draco’s mouth, hot and open as it presses to his spine.

Thank you, he gasps as he starts to come, his orgasm rolling through his body like an earthquake. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

This is pretty much straight from my brain to the page, with very little editing. I know it's run-on sentences, but I feel like it captures this really powerful and overwhelming moment - they're doing this ritual, they're desperate to make it work. I wanted Harry's process to convey how deeply present he is in this moment, so entwined with Draco and the Forest, and how much this matters to him, how important it is to him. To me, at least, it felt like a powerful and healing moment for him.

20. If a witch offered you the choice between eternal happiness with your one true love and the ability to finally finish, perfect, and publish your dearest, darlingest, most precious WIP in exactly the way you've always imagined it — which would you choose? You can’t have both sorry, life’s a bitch

Oh, eternal happiness with my one true love, 100% (not that I believe in either of those things ha ha, but like, if I were given that offer!). Maybe it's that I've been writing a long time now (6.5 yrs for Larry, almost 6 yrs for Drarry), but I don't know that I have any one darlingest WiP (because I have So. Many. WiPs.) and I've had a fair amount of practice with making peace with the fact that I can publish things and be okay with them not being perfect and ever truly finished! Writing is a really important part of my life, but it's also a place where I allow myself to be messy and imperfect. But the love in my life with my family, my partner, my kitties - that's the foundation of every single thing.

35. What’s your favorite writing rule to smash into smithereens?

I think a thing I do fairly consistently, which is technically not correct but is VERY much a deliberate stylistic choice about voice is something like this:

Potter is off-duty for the entire weekend and talks happily about spending time with his godson, mentions a cut-throat pick-up Quidditch match that he’d been roped into earlier this afternoon, expounds on the renovation he’s designing for the kitchen of his townhouse.

This is from an upcoming fic that was originally for Wireless but for Reasons™ could not be included, so I'll be publishing it on my own. This is a construction I use all the time (given how often I reject Grammarly's suggestions) - which is they always want me to put an "and" after that last comma and I just. Don't want to. So I don't. I don't do it 100% but I definitely do it a lot. More than one beta has tried to get me to change it and I just won't because I personally like it! I don't think I'm that odd that as a writer, in I am very very picky about my word choices and sentence constructions and I do a LARGE amount of line/sentence-level editing to make sure I've got things as I want them.

Weird Questions for Writers (because writers are weird)

[to-worship-hermes]

Hermes is so awesome, and it's awesome to see so many other people here who love him too! A question: how, if at all, does your devotion to Hermes factor into your writing?

Hi, and yes I feel the same way!!

And, that's a great question. When I first joined tumblr and created my e-shrine, I put "writer" in my bio.. kind of aspirationally :) I practiced writing sometimes, in a variety of different forms, but in terms of working on something longer/more fictional/more with original characters, I mostly felt like I didn't know what to say.

But in the past year or so, I actually felt inspired to start working on a couple of book outlines! They're quite choppy and sometimes run into their own problems (if X place has been like this for hundreds of years, why is Y thing happening now? or, how much do I want this part to feel relatable to me/my past selves, vs how much does that not matter here?). But, reading them back, I feel proud of myself :) And it's amazing how much of me ends up in the story, without me really doing it on purpose--places I've been/read about that were important to me, family members that I love, characters/values that I look up to, all these things that are in my heart/memory.

I worship Hermes as a god of memory, and language and travel. So when these things show up very much in my writing, it's like--of course! thank you Hermes. And in a way, just being able to write at all feels very Hermes to me, and the practicing before this, too. I feel really grateful (and thank him in my offerings) for these things as well!

I'm not sure if I quite answered what you were asking, it was just kind of.. what I was thinking when I read your question, haha. In terms of my worship of Hermes, there's this everything-ness to Hermes that is kind of hard to convey through text, but I hope I managed to capture some of it!

[plotlinehotline]

I don't really know how to ask this - I'm writing hobby-wise, and I have a few decent ideas, but whenever I write them, the language seems a bit, well, hollow. Not at all like spoken word. I can write like that a bit more in chats, but how can I make written language and, most important, descriptions, seem more real?

Adding Depth to Your Language

When you say hollow, I assume the problem is the writing feels stiff. It lacks personality, emotion, and maybe it’s even too grandiose for the subject matter you’re tackling.

I think the problem might be that you’re trying too hard to differentiate between spoken language and written language. It’s not as if writers throw a switch when they shift from conversing to writing. Our speech patterns are often mirrored in our writing, though often times with a bit more polish that comes from the ability to edit, which you can’t do when you’re just talking to someone, and even editing with online chats is limited to the seconds before you send the message.

When I think back to some of the first things I wrote, they read very much like stories I was relating to people in real life. I’d pretend I was telling someone a story, and I’d write the words I’d use to describe it. As I gained more experience, and exposed myself to the ways other authors wrote, I started to learn the right ways to embellish my writing.

So if you’re still trying to figure out your writing style, I say just jump in and tell stories the way you would tell them verbally. Get them on paper, and practice. Your first story may not feel all that “story-like,” and maybe your second won’t either, but once you get comfortable telling stories in this way, you’ll find yourself experimenting with language and structure more.

Writers often write in closets for many years, and what I mean by that, is that they write in secret. They don’t share their work with others, so they don’t get constructive criticism. And yet, even without someone critiquing you, you improve. Criticism and advice from others may help you improve faster, but it doesn’t mean you won’t improve without it just by writing, writing, writing.

The important thing is that you’re telling stories and enjoying yourself while doing it.

Bearing all that in mind, here are a few tips to make your writing seem less hollow:

Use POV - When you’re writing a description, don’t think of it as a camera lens; think of a character who is actually there, seeing, hearing, and feeling it. Don’t focus only on the visual details - include sounds, sensations, and when applicable, see if the object of description reminds your character of anything. A memory, a person, or a place.

Use Words - When it comes to word choice, think of words that convey feelings, both physical and emotional. Instead of saying something is loud, you could say that it’s ear-splitting. And when you describe pain, be specific. Don’t just say something hurts - does it burn, sting, ache, throb, ect.? When it comes to description, don’t just focus on the colors of things - imagine their shadows, and the glares from sunlight or artificial light. Describe textures, even if the character/narrator is unable to touch what they’re describing.

I don’t need to touch this to imagine it being scratchy, grainy, or bumpy. So add texture to descriptions if they feel flat.

Use Reactions - When writing is hollow, it’s often because it seems to just sit on a page, not doing anything. But when you have characters reacting to the things you’re writing, it starts to have some movement. Characters can respond to something you’re describing by smiling, speaking, or even taking action. If your character is standing in the thunderstorm you’re describing, have them react! Have them run for cover, or attempt to hide their head, or zip their jacket, or try to hail a cab. Even if your setting is less intense (like a patio on a sunny day), your character can react by removing their jacket, or drinking something cold, or fanning themselves with a menu or pamphlet.

If you couldn’t sense the theme that shows up in all three of these, it’s emotions. We read fiction to experience stories with characters. And the way we connect with characters is by becoming intimate with their emotions. Injecting emotion into your language will immediately help the story feel more real.

Good luck!

-Rebekah