#being terrified there's smth evil and deep down Wrong w you

[donttouchtheneednoggle]

things about ocd you might not know

- it's an anxiety disorder. it's right there along with generalised anxiety (shout out to the ‘you don't need to have panic attacks to have an anxiety disorder’ club), social anxiety, panic disorder etc. it often comes along with other anxiety disorders and is treated similarly.

- it is not 'only' being obsessive about tidiness or hygeine, but at the same time people who struggle with these particular forms of ocd are NOT 'perpetuating a stereotype' or bAd rEpreSentaTiOn, they are people with a disorder, and they are just as valid as anyone else.

- any which way ocd is not cute. it is not funny. it is not something to joke about. it is uncomfortable and distressing, and it needs to be better understood by the masses.

- intrusive thoughts (the 'obsessive' part) can be about anything. for example they can be about you or loved ones being harmed, feeling like you want to harm yourself or loved ones even though the thought horrifies you, feeling like you are always being watched/judged/punished or that everyone knows what you are thinking (even though you know logically that this is not true, which is where it differs from actual paranoia), and many more, some a lot more taboo.

-ocd can make you doubt things and compulsively check them, not be able to stop worrying about irrational things that won't or are very unlikely to happen, or feel like you can cause something bad to happen by just thinking the 'wrong' thing or doing something entirely unrelated. you can also have intrusive feelings and/or bodily sensations or a mixture of all.

- none of these thoughts or others not mentioned mean that someone who experiences them is a bad person, or would ever act on them. the whole point of intrusive thoughts is that they go directly against a person's morality. they are deliberately poking at what makes you the most uncomfortable and distressed, and the more reaction they get, the more you (very understandably) try and fight against them and stop them, the louder they become. the very fact that you recoil from the thought and are afraid that you might act on it, going over and over where it is coming from and desperately fighting against it is proof that you never would.

- compulsions are the other part of ocd, the obsessive cleaning or checking for example. however, they don't have to be physical and obvious, they can also be mental, such as counting, repeating words or phrases, or obsessive praying for example.

- the general idea is that compulsions are done to relieve the anxiety caused by the obsession (intrusive thought part), but this is not always the case. compulsions can happen to relieve nonspecific feelings of discomfort and anxiety unrelated to a specific thought, which in theory dissapate after the compulsion. likewise compulsions don't always happen when there is an intrusive thought.

- compulsions can also include neutralising thoughts, which are attempts to shut down/counteract/drown out intrusive thoughts. compulsions can also be involve an intense need for symmetry in some way, or repeating certain things or actions the ‘right’ number of times, whether or not you know what that number is.

- ocd can develop in childhood, as well as later in life.

- ocd, adhd, autism and tic disorders have a fun little club going on where they have high rates of comorbidity with each other as well as overlapping symptoms (repetitive actions with that you feel you need to do/cannot control on some level) which makes working out which one(s) you actually have a challenge.

- the general idea from what i've read and experienced is that you have the least control over a tic; it is involuntary and it takes a lot of energy to suppress it. compulsions can be controlled more easily, but it feels uncomfortable/anxious/distrressing to do so, and it's not an enjoyable thing to carry out anyway. a stim is more enjoyable and a way to regulate energy/sensory input or self soothe and it can fairly easily be stopped or continued in a different form most of the time. of course if you have comorbidities something can start off as a stim and then become a compulsion for example 🙃🙃

people with ocd take an average of ten years to seek treatment due to the shame the disorder causes. it can make you think you are an evil, shameful, terrible person, but that is not true in the slightest. resources about ocd are wonderful because they speak about it in a very matter of fact manner, and can help you realise you are not alone or beyond/undeserving of help, not to be really cliched but yeah :') i recommend ocd uk and this guide for dealing with intrusive thoughts as good places to start 💖💖💖💖