#being on my period during my birthday weekend is so evil

[stinkyfartclub]

1 more year and i have free will

[pimosworld]

Pairing-Frankie Morales x f!reader

Summary-Frankie comforts you during that time of the month.

CW-Tooth rotting fluff,mentions of sex but no smut, Frankie being the best partner anyone could ask for. Reader is not described but has a period every month, pet names, mentions of blood (of course).

WK-898

A/N- inspired by @beefrobeefcal he’s not quite chubby but he’s Frankie nonetheless. It’s so hard for me to write while I’m on my period because the cramps make me lose focus but this definitely helped in some placebo effect way. @triplefrontier-anniversary

Not beta read

At your service

Frankie rolls over to find your side of the bed uncharacteristically cool for a Saturday morning. Sleeping in and cuddling until you had to pry yourselves out of bed was one of your favorite rituals on the weekend. It’s too early and the only light illuminating the room is leaking out from the bottom of the bathroom door. 

  He can hear some sniffles and a groan and he’s throwing back the covers in a panic as he leaps out of bed. He tries the door and it’s locked causing him to panic even further. 

  “Hermosa, you okay in there?” His voice laced with concern echoing through the wall. 

  “Don’t come in Frankie…it’s a murder scene in here.” You groan to yourself again as you hear him try the door handle again. 

  He quickly realizes what predicament you’re in. He should’ve known your period was coming. You’re like clockwork each month, and instead of subjecting him to your dreaded pms you tend to shut yourself off the days leading up to it. Trying to stay busy at work or telling him to hang out with the guys so you can rage in peace. It’s still something you’re working on after all these years with him. Not understanding that he’s going to take the good with the bad and not be like your shitty ex who would make snide comments about your time of the month. 

  “Honey, I’ve seen much more blood than whatever you’ve got going on right now.”

  “I beg to differ.” You whine and he tries not to laugh, that would most certainly not make the situation any better. 

  You finally open the door and he’s met with the most pathetic site as you stand there with fresh tears in your eyes and one of his large tee shirts draped over your body. He’s only seen deeper frown lines on Santiago. 

  He pulls you into his chest as you try to wrap your arms around his larger frame, your body goes willingly limp as he rubs your head and rocks you back and forth. He’s so warm and smells like fresh laundry and you swear your hormones play evil tricks on you each month because you’ve never wanted him more than when you’re on your period. Despite his endless hours of showing you how much he appreciated your body and your mind and whatever else came with your emotions, you still weren’t comfortable having sex during these few days. 

  You had once or twice before with Frankie but he never pushed you if you weren’t feeling up to it. 

  “Vamos hermosa, let’s get you back to bed.” He kisses your forehead and waddles you to the bed, tucking you safely under the covers. “I’ll grab your heating pad and some water.” He kisses you again and you go tight lipped trying not to cry. 

  “I’m sorry.” Your voice cracks as more tears spill and he pulls back from you visibly confused at your reaction. “We were supposed to go to the beach for Benny’s birthday.” 

  He tuts and pulls you back into him mumbling into your neck. “I don’t want to go to the stupid beach and get sand in my ass anyway.” Your wet laugh rumbles against him and he can breathe a small sigh of relief. 

  ****

  You can hear him in the hallway on the phone as he returns from downstairs. 

  “You owe me anyways pendejo, I covered for you last week, remember?” 

  You can hear him rest his head on the bedroom door as he huffs out. 

  “Ben, it's been way too long, you need to learn some Spanish…I gotta go, promise I’ll make it up to you soon.” 

  He opens the door with an arm full of way more than two items. He sets down the water bottle with fresh ice and dumps the rest of the contents on the bed. You giggle at the sheer amount of items but cover your mouth when he sends you a warning look. 

  He sets up your heating pad and explains everything down to a tee just like the military man that he is. It didn’t take long for you to realize how much he enjoyed taking care of you so those arguments stopped early on. 

  “I’ve got your sleep mask you left on the couch, you should get some more rest.” He hands you some pain medication and your water and you take it obediently. “I’ve also got a snack for when you wake up.” He sets the granola bar on the side table along with your phone charger, before turning off the bathroom light and rejoining you in the bed. 

  You can hear him warming up his calloused hands as he rubs them together under the covers before draping them across your belly. The only time of the month you’d allow him to rub your belly. Something he’d allow you to do to him everyday. 

  You’re perfectly content again as you resume your Saturday morning cuddles with the love of your life. 

  “Frankie?” You ask sleepily as he hums behind you. “What did you cover up for Benny last week?” 

  “Go to sleep hermosa, sweet dreams.” He kisses your neck as he pretends to start snoring and you can’t help the laugh that bubbles up inside you. 

  “Fine, you keep your secrets. You’re lucky I love you.” 

 “Te amo tambíen.” 

[swampndn]

CW: child sexual assault, child abuse, alcoholism

Six years ago today, I finally found my maternal grandfather’s people. I've been thinking a lot about him recently and feeling that grief of all he lost. Then I got the Facebook memory reminder. So I wanna talk about him. Feels like I should.

His name was James, and he was stolen as a toddler and sold to a Mormon family in Utah. He never knew his tribe or where he came from, just that he was Native. When he escaped as a teen, he went to Oklahoma because that's where he knew the Natives were and thought it'd be his best chance. He ended up in Vietnam, survived the Navy, came back to Oklahoma, then met my maternal grandmother (a white woman), and quickly had my mother and uncle shortly after.

My mother's mother was an evil woman. She and her entire racist ass family are. They hated my grandfather because of who he was, so much so that they lied to the courts and said that he was a drunk to take away his kids. It worked. This all happened exactly 1 year before the Indian Child Welfare Act too. Before that, he never drank in his life, but after that loss, he started and, unfortunately, couldn't stop for nearly 15 years.

My mom was then raised and physically/sexually abused by her white family. They constantly told her and my uncle that they should be ashamed of being Native because of their father, and those people did everything they could to make them white. My mom's a deeply complicated person, especially being that she couldn't break the cycle of abuse with my siblings and I. But this post isn't about her. My uncle also experienced the physical abuse, and he developed a drug addiction when he was just 12yo to cope. My grandfather developed alcoholism during this separation period, and his health began to decline.

But! Good news! When my mom ran away from home at 16yo, my father's family took her in. My mom said that she was immediately drawn to my dad because he was Native, connected to his people, and came from an unapologetically Native home. So she finally found some kind of community, and also she was finally able to reconnect with her dad. (And also in the eventual marrying of my father, they ex-communicated my mom. I got a wild story from when I was about 8yo and the first and last time I met them, but that's for a different post for a different day.)

The day she got in contact with my grandfather after being forcibly no contact her entire upbringing was the day he stopped drinking cold turkey. She talks about how after that he was at every single school event and every holiday. My uncle finally got out of there too, and he also reconnected with my grandfather. My dad's family welcomed them both.

My uncle died at 18yo from the lingering effects of his addiction about a year before I was born. It was sudden and unexpected, especially since he, like my grandfather, had stopped using when he reunited with his dad. My mom talks about how involved and happy my uncle was with my sister as a baby. He was James, Jr., but went by Jimmy mainly.

My grandfather had also been heavily involved with us, and he had some kind of prophecy gift. He predicted the sex of all of my mom's kids just by touching her belly, and he knew a bunch of other things too. He used to take my sister and I fishing nearly every weekend, and he got me a Minnie Mouse fishing pole to use. He taught my sister how to ride a bike. I was still too little for a bike, but he got me a tricyle. One Christmas, he rented a helicopter after saving up all year and flew into a neighborhood park dressed like Santa. I do wish I could remember those things firsthand, but I've been told about them and seen lots of pictures.

Unfortunately, all of that was short-lived because he died the day after my sister's 5th birthday when I was only 3yo. We knew something was wrong because he wasn't at her party, and in all this time, he never missed a single event. Even though he never drank again, his prior alcoholism was so severe that he passed from cirrhosis of the liver. My mom was pregnant with my younger brother at the time, so he never got to meet him - but my grandfather did let my mom know he was a boy. (This was back when IHS refused to do ultrasounds. You know how it is.)

He died in 1996 never knowing who his people are. There were no clues. No one knew anything until March 29, 2018.

Finding his people was completely by chance. I went on a trip in March 2018 with a now ex-partner to the Mescalero Apache rez in New Mexico to see some of his extended family. We got there in the middle of the night, and the next morning (March 29th), I went outside to see the landscape. I'd never been to New Mexico before, so I was excited to see mountains and the desert. The moment I stepped outside of the motel and saw the land, I felt an overwhelming grief that I immediately burst into tears. The only way I could describe it was the feeling of a mother who was convinced her child was no longer alive for years and years, suddenly finding out that her baby survived. I will never forget what that felt like, and honestly, now it feels even more powerful than before. I can hardly even think about it writing this because tears are happening.

As soon as I was able to be coherent again after all that grief, my first thought was that this is where my grandfather was from. I knew it. I was fully convinced. The rest of that trip I kept looking at all these Apache faces in the tribal gas station, on the road, and just around and wondering if any of them were family. So many looked familiar, but I wasn't going to do or say anything until I got home and could try and find some of my grandfather's records. Hell, I didn't even tell my then-partner about it when it happened because I wanted to be sure. He even asked me why I was crying standing outside the motel door, and I just said that the land was so beautiful that I was moved. Fortunately for me (one of the many bad signs for him) is that he didn't ask any follow-up questions, so I was able to keep it to myself for the time being.

When I got back home, I got ahold of his birth certificate, and I called the Mescalero Apache records office. After a couple weeks, it was confirmed. He even had living family still. Getting that phone call was so emotional, and I still cry about the relief and also the anger that he died not knowing. I know his spirit is at peace now, and every time I've been to New Mexico since 2018, I feel such a comfort. The land told me on March 29, 2018, and today I'm just thinking about how grateful I am that she did.

As I have been thinking a lot about grief, land, healing, legacy, blood memory, the responsibilities of parenthood, and the next seven generations recently (mainly due to a project I've been working on this week), I don't think it's an accident that today was the anniversary of that event while I go into a performance tomorrow about just this very thing: the land grieving and healing and telling us why.

There's not too many pictures of him because he was the one usually taking pictures of us. But here's a candid I have from my toddler days (mid-blink lol).

[sharoscylla]

this is mostly for me to use when writing None Sword, since that au goes through both seasons of rottmnt, but having watched the show a bunch of times I feel like the actual order of events is different than what we see

mystic mayhem happens I think right before the school year starts or right after when it's still hot as hell, april is 16, raph is 15, leo and donnie are 14, and mikey is 13

repo man is happening at the same time as Hypno pt deaux, which is during the homecoming dance, so that's about 6-8 weeks later in mid to late October

shell in a cell and minotaur maze happen before fast and the furriest and mascot melee

down with the sickness might be as late in the season as post Late Fee

Gumbus and Mrs Cuddles are both very Halloween Episode to me so I feel p certain they're happening the weekend just before Halloween 2018, which was a Wednesday

Bullhop stays with them for a little over 2 weeks, based on what I remember of the screenshots I think it's January 8th through the 25th?

However I feel v strongly that Late Fee happens before evil league of mutants, which happens somewhere in late November or early December

Now I have to sit and think bc April does have a birthday in Season 1 but by the end of Season 1 she's been 18 long enough to get her crane operator license, so it doesn't make sense for season 1 to take place in less than 2 calendar years... but we know that evil league of mutants takes place on the 13th anniversary of the turtles mutation so it either needs to take place MUCH earlier in the timeline or we need to disregard any canon reference to April being 16 during season 1. if she starts the season as a 17 year old then the timeline works for season 1 being late August through March 20th

I am not willing to entertain the idea that april exists in a universe where you don't have to be 18 to get a crane operator license in New York! sorry!

I also feel like mind meld and truffle happen before evil league of mutants for reasons I can't get into now

snow day and Shadow of evil happen in january imo

Man v Sewer is clearly a spring break episode so I'm putting it in mid March right before the end of the season, maybe even the last episode before Mama Train

and obviously insane in the mama train-end game-many unhappy returns happen over a 3 day period but we know End Game and the beginning of MUR happen specifically in baseball season so the earliest they could be is March 20th, which was the first day of baseball season in 2019

anyway I have to ponder this because my HEART tells me this was just a bonkers 8 or 9 month period so April's canon age can't be right for ANY point in the show

[houseboatisland]

Sodor During the Second World War

//

Sodor was never bombed during the Second World War, though naturally it still had blackouts, civil defense, etc. This puzzled military and civilian historians for decades, considering Sodor’s value as a target and how reachable it was for the Luftwaffe. We’ll learn why further within this post.

In the earliest months of hostilities, Sodor was a popular destination for evacuated British children either staying there or en route to Canada.

Sodor of course formed a Home Guard, and a handful of abandoned concrete pillbox posts are still to be found moldering away on the Island, especially on its eastern and southern coasts.

Nearly all standard gauge locomotives on the Island were painted flat black, with the initials “N. W.” This has NEVER been reused for historic weekends or reenactments because engines universally find it saddening and uncomfortable to wear. The main exemptions to this change were Toby, on the Arle Valley Tramway, and a few private locomotives running factory sidings. (A/N: The Arle Valley Tramway is my name for Toby’s Old Tramway, which I’ve broken from Awdry to place on Sodor. Toby’s never worked in East Anglia.)

The Island’s narrow gauge railways didn’t receive this change either. They were however, unlike the NWR, banned from night running, something they didn’t do much of anyhow.

The Skarloey Railway THRIVED during this period, after twenty-odd years of living hand to mouth. Its slate, which had stacked up unwanted on the wharf for years, was suddenly in high demand to repair bombed houses on The Mainland. Petrol rationing, rubber tire shortages and heavily cut bus services meant that those people beyond its small, loyal clientele flocked to use it in droves. Receipts for goods and mail carried, and tickets sold, visibly spike during these years on paper. Routinely, every coach and several swept-out slate wagons were pressed into service to handle the scores of passengers, and there was even hope of repairing Skarloey, who had been out of action for a few years. This sadly didn’t happen, and Rheneas, already running the line alone for all this time, handled this tremendous strain as best he could.

The Mid Sodor Railway, which unlike the Skarloey was considered essential to the war by the Government, thrived also. Its lead mines were expanded, and additional miners, including prisoners of war, were brought from The Mainland to get it done. Their passenger services and goods tonnages, like those on the Skarloey Railway, more than recovered as a result of the motoring situation.

I’m gonna break with Awdry and say no engines were ever loaned to help any of the narrow gauge railways at this time. It just seems so… off.

The STANDARD GAUGE railways, however, (again excluding Toby’s tramway, the AVT,) were awash with engines sourced from other regions as needed, and in the war’s closing years, War Department engines themselves. S160s, Austerity 2-8-0s and 2-10-0s, Austerity Saddletanks and Yankee Tanks were all to be found on the Island at some point or another. A few stayed on in peacetime among the many “unseen but there” engines within the system, some lasting only until the Fifties, and others right up to the present day. (This excludes one engine who would be an obvious example: Rosie, a Yankee tank and easily the most famous War Department engine on Sodor, only arrived in the Nineties.)

As can well be imagined, Sodor’s steelworks and similar industries also went into overdrive, and many of its factories, as elsewhere, were retooled for the war effort to make armaments, aircraft and so on. The Mid Sodor Railway’s own Works, famously, came under Government control again, as it had during the First World War, making shells. Crovan’s Gate, which also built several War Department locomotives, similarly was refitted to make tanks, Jeeps, artillery, aircraft etc. Tidmouth’s shipyards were also churning out battleships and freighters for immediate launch.

Sodor in my universe DOES have coal mines, another break from Awdry’s canon, and these were also in high gear for the war effort. Again, like the MSR’s lead mines, Mainlanders and prisoners of war both were shipped in to accomplish this.

Now, as to the question of why Sodor was never bombed. Historians had for years been baffled by this question. Apart from a few bombs lost at sea, in all likelihood meant for Barrow, why had Sodor been practically off limits? It was well within range of the Luftwaffe, and had scores of industrial sites and military installations to target. In the Seventies, it was unearthed and eventually confirmed that Hitler had spared Sodor deliberately. Like his own psychotic plan for Blackpool in England, he planned to tour Sodor and the many beauties it offered after he had won the war. Thankfully, this didn’t come to pass. Hitler lost the war, and did the one good thing a Nazi can do: die.

Several stations took to growing victory gardens. This included Maron, which continued the tradition after the war ended, and now uses the resulting tomatoes, lettuce, and carrots in its refreshment room salads.

As I’ve said on Twitter, a LOT happened on the Island of Sodor during the Second World War, but it was such a frightening and miserable time that the engines of the time have an unwritten law amongst themselves not to talk about it. Only Edward breaks this rule, and that’s to speak with human historians separate from other engines. As such, he’s been credited in numerous papers, books, and even official Sudrian Parliament history for his priceless testimony.

The Thin Clergyman had been planning a book, as child-friendly as could be managed, about the NWR during the Second World War. It was meant to be released in 1965, twenty years after the war’s end, but engines up and down the Island refused to allow their likenesses in the book. This was a unique situation of this kind. The Thin Clergyman of course couldn’t magic up a fake Sodor as a substitute, for it would be both obvious and insulting to the engines who had just declared their discomfort. The scrapped volume, which only had so much as the foreword written, was shelved indefinitely, and it was only at his death in 1997 that the book’s status as an idea for a book at all was revealed. The Thin Clergyman instead opted for a different, but still very important anniversary to write about in 1965: Skarloey’s and Rheneas’ hundredth birthdays.

I won’t go into details, but Sudrians did serve heroically in the war, a famous and canon example being the “Duke of Sodor,” who was killed in North Africa. The total number of Sudrians dead in action was a few thousand, which may seem small but on an Island as sparsely populated as Sodor was significant and all-encompassing. Their sacrifices can never be forgotten, nor can be the evils of those they fought. To do so would only enable it all again, and Sudrians, anti-fascist to the core, will never, ever let that happen.

[not-reagan]

milf: man i love forests

pairing: deforester boo seungkwan x frat boy mirror demon han jisung (side pairing reagan x rainbow)

genre: crack, strangers to friends to lovers, non-idol au

warnings: cursing, brief supernatural elements, i don’t know if this applies but all lcase, and i listened to christmas music and abba while writing this

word count: 2.7k

authors note: happy birthday @miyuuraiura !! i am so sorry about this monstrosity being your birthday gift but you asked for it so it's your fault entirely. i was gonna include some context on this story for those who are not rainbow and i but actually i don't think i will.

seungkwan did what he could to get by. he loved nature, he really did, but sometimes you have to make moral sacrifices to survive. he was a college kid strapped for cash, and when he saw a sign reading “GET RICH QUICK, INVEST IN DEFORESTATION” in the summer going into his freshmen year, he jumped at the opportunity. sure, he would have rather been a freelance singer, hired for bar-mitzvahs and children's parties, but that job market was flooded at the moment.

jisung, on the other hand, had no care for nature. actually, he didn't care for any human things, apart from “banging parties, booze, the boys™, and bitches”. he hated quite a bit about earth, the worst of all to him being college. as a demon, he had no reason to attend university, but after he was summoned in the bathroom of a frat house by the school’s power couple; rainbow and reagan, he felt obliged to follow the two around and keep them company.

for seungkwan, his main job rarely required in person work. he usually just chose plots of land to demolish, and sent plans to local managers. the only time he actually had to knock down any trees himself was during his summer break. he has a part time job of course, but it didn't provide him enough cash to survive. for someone with a job as a deforester, he truly did do what he could to save the environment. he joined his schools environmental club, becoming vice president his sophomore year because of his work with them. he kept his job a secret, not even telling his parents where the influx of cash was coming from. he kept a low profile and went through the motions of life. he didn't have much of a social life, with his small amount of friends being from the environmental club.

han jisung found joy in witnessing his professors and fellow students lose their minds over his lack of effort in class. he did the bare minimum and still passed with flying colors. most of all, it angered his seatmate in earth science, who happened to be none other than boo seungkwan. seungkwan was a hard worker in everything he did, particularly in school. he didn't get the best grades, but by no means was he the worst. averaging a steady B+, seungkwan spent most of his nights studying or working, rarely going to parties and enjoying himself only through one person karaoke rooms.

this fact upset jisung. he didn't know why, but seeing seungkwan so tired every day made him feel sad(? jisung wasn't sure what it made him feel. it was an emotion he had never experienced before. rainbow told him it meant he had a crush. to this he threw an empty soda can at them). not to mention seungkwan’s upsetting karaoke addiction, which he knew all about the danger of because of reagan, who spent most of her weekends drunk and singing. jisung didn’t know why he took such a liking to seungkwan. what he did know was that he was ecstatic to find that they would be paired together for a project. a project that required quite a bit of teamwork, and a lot of after school work sessions.

seungkwan liked to think that he didn’t hate anyone. he hated evil people, like hitler and stalin and jyp, but he didn’t really hate anyone besides the worst of the worst. that was until he experienced jisung. he wasn’t sure why jisung always talked to him when he was trying to take notes in class. he especially wasn’t sure why he was so excited to be partnered up together for the project that was worth 25% of their grade. seungkwan was less than happy to have to cooperate with jisung for an extended period of time, and he was not looking forward to letting him into his dorm room, or going anywhere near jisung’s frat house. seungkwan had no idea what he was pushed into.

they planned to meet at the cafe on campus at 5:00 pm after class. seungkwan was less than happy. jisung was thrilled. when jisung arrived seungkwan was sitting at a table drinking an americano and working on an english essay. he wasn't sure how to approach him, slowly walked closer before tapping on his shoulder. seungkwan jolted in his seat.

“jesus fuck jisung. you scared the crap out of me,” seungkwan gasped. jisung’s ears flushed as he brought his hand to the back if his neck.

“sorry,” he started, pausing for a second before starting again, “why don't we get started?”. he swung his bag down to the ground as he took a seat. seungkwan offered a small, non genuine smile before pulling out the project’s guidelines.

“let's try to finish this as quickly as possible. im pretty busy and don't have much time to fool around.” seungkwan said. jisung felt his heart drop. did seungkwan really think that little of him? granted, he always dozed off in class but he got his work done on time and in an orderly fashion. he felt his mind begin to wander. if seungkwan felt this way about him now, how would he feel when he found out that jisung was a demon. would seungkwan start to like him if he knew him better? jisung couldn't figure out why he cared so much about how seungkwan perceived him. he had never had an issue with others opinions of him before, so what made seungkwan so different? for some reason, jisung felt the need to connect with seungkwan. if not for himself, then at least to help him let loose.

after working silently on each of their portions of the projects for 3 hours, jisung finally spoke up. “do you want to maybe come to my party next month? well, it's not my party, it's for rainbow’s birthday. i know you're not one for social interaction but it would be cool to see you there. i’ll give you the details if-”

“i’d love to go,” seungkwan cut off jisung’s rambling. to be honest, he wasn't exactly sure what he was agreeing to, but he knew it would shut jisung up, and seungkwan valued his peace and quiet. part of him also just felt downright bad for the other. he seemed to be trying awfully hard to become friends with seungkwan, and he wouldn’t admit it, seungkwan had started to warm up to the boy. he really wasn’t as much of an issue as he had thought before, and was actually really respectful of seungkwan’s wishes. maybe i’ll give him a chance, seungkwan thought before going back to his work.

over the next month, jisung and seungkwan continued meeting to work on their project. seungkwan was less short with the other, and jisung was still red faced every time seungkwan decided to talk to him, which became quite frequently over the next few weeks. jisung was starting to realize that the feelings he had for seungkwan were not simply platonic, and that he didn’t just want to be friends with him. with the help of rainbow and reagan, he had come to the conclusion that he really, really liked seungkwan, and that he was going to do something about it. remembering that he had invited seungkwan to the party, he devised a plan to not only tell seungkwan about his whole “i’m actually a demon” thing, but also about his true feelings. it wouldn't be easy, but it was what he had to do.

a month later, seungkwan still wasn’t exactly sure why he had agreed to go to jisungs frat house at 9:00 pm on a saturday night. yet there he was, standing on the front porch of a large house, wondering if he should bite the bullet and walk in, or spare himself and leave right then. he didn't get a choice, however, as rainbow and reagan stepped out of the house giggling while clutching onto each other. both stopped in their tracks when they saw seungkwan. the couple and seungkwan stared at each other for a good minute before seungkwan shook himself from his trance.

“hey rainbow!” seungkwan started, “and reagan too. i know we aren’t super close, but jisung invited me and i thought i’d just drop by and wish you a happy birthday.” he passed her a birthday card filled with $50 bucks and then turned to leave. “i’ll leave you guys now. have a great birthday!” before seungkwan could get very far, however, rainbow grabbed him by the arm.

“hey, i’d love if you’d stay! at least go say hi to jisung. i’m sure he’d like to see you,” she said, silently making note to have jisung pay her back for being a great wingwoman.

“he’s probably hiding in the second floor bathroom. if you don't see him in there, just say his name three times in front of the mirror. he’ll appear.” reagan explained. seungkwan thought she was joking. how wrong he was.

following his entrance to the house, he had to refuse not one, not two, but three different people who were looking to give him bottles or cups of something which seungkwan presumed to be various types of alcohol. navigating through the house was difficult, reaching the stairs to the second floor only after running into numerous people borderline fucking on two large couches in the living room, a smoke circle taking place in what seungkwan assumed to be a dining room, and a very aggressive makeout session against a wall. once he finally reached the second floor, he had some difficulty finding the bathroom, accidentally walking in on reagan and rainbow, who had miraculously made it upstairs faster than he had.

“if you don’t stop shitting constantly i am going to break up with you! also, stop taking feet pics! it’s weird!” he heard rainbow shout.

“at least i can eat seafood! how does it make your head hurt? you’re the weakest link! that fucking seafood platter was delicious. and you know what, i’m glad i didn’t have to share it with you!” reagan responded. seungkwan quickly shut the door, not wanting to get involved in whatever drunken argument was going on there. after a bit more searching, he finally stumbled across the right room. knocking first to see if anyone was in there, he entered, and to his surprise, nobody was there. jisung was nowhere to be seen. seungkwan reviewed his options. he could a) leave the party, or b) continue to look around the packed house. but there was another option. he thought about it for a second.

“what's the harm in trying,” seungkwan thought out loud, before staring directly into the mirror.

“han jisung, han jisung, han jisung.”

nothing happened. that's what seungkwan thought, until a minute later the lights in the bathroom flickered off and the mirror began to glow. “what. the. fuck,” seungkwan managed to squeak out before falling backwards into the tub. first a leg emerged, then two arms, and finally the rest of jisung’s body.

“i feel like the genie in aladin every time i have to get into a fucking mirror,” jisung complained before seeing seungkwan toppled over. to that view, he jumped down off the counter and moved to help him up. seungkwan, aside from falling, seemed to be reacting well to the whole situation, at least in the sense that instead of freaking out he seemed to be in a state of shock. jisung took this as a good sign, and lifted the motionless body up onto the toilet seat.

“hey seungkwan, you there?” jisung waved his hand in front of seungkwan's face as he slowly came to his senses.

“what kind of twisted party trick was that?” seungkwan asked, pretty seriously. jisung just laughed.

“you summoned me from the mirror. i’m like a funny version of michael jackson except i'm a demon and not a man in the mirror.” jisung explained. seungkwan just stared. “are you ok kwan? do you want me to get you some water?”

“it was… kind of sick.” seungkwan stated. he didn't know why he wasn't scared. under any other circumstance like this one, he probably would have shit his pants. for some reason he felt comfortable around jisung. he felt warm. he felt seen. it was something he hadn't felt before. that's when he realized. he wondered why it took himself to long to figure it out. he never hated jisung. he just didn't know what to do with the fact that he made him feel special, and that he felt as though he belonged when they were together. it had hit him why he was so nervous the whole night, why he had wanted to make such a good impression, and why he was willing to embarrass himself by calling out jisungs name as opposed to just choosing to go home. it was because he loved him.

“can i tell you something?” both of the boys said at the same time. jisung giggled and seungkwan flushed red. **authors note! bonus starts here**

“you first,” seungkwan offered. he wasn't exactly sure he would be able to make it through a sentence without getting any redder than he already was.

jisung took this opportunity to finally get his true feelings out into the air, “i like you… uhh like, i like like you. i have since we first became seatmates. well, i think that's when i've liked you since. i knew whe-”

“you're rambling again,” seungkwan told him. jisung flushed a dark shade of pink. “it's a habit of yours. i think it's cute actually.” seungkwan wasn't sure where his sudden surge of confidence came from, but he was glad it came. he was standing up now, holding jisungs hands in his. jisungs heart was racing a mile a minute as he looked down at their intertwined hands and them back up, catching seungkwan looking directly at his lips. “can… can i kiss you?” seungkwan stuttered out. jisung couldn't find his words, so he opted to just nod.

when their lips connected, seungkwan could have sworn he heard fireworks. he did later find out that someone was setting off a firework in the back yard, but it was the thought that counted. their lips melted together perfectly, and seungkwan wondered why it took him so long to admit his feelings to himself. he could have been kissing jisung for a month before this.

once they finally parted, seungkwan spoke softly, “i like you too. i think that's pretty obvious now but just in case you didn't know.” jisung had the dumbest, most confused face on, and seungkwan had the brightest smile he'd ever had. seungkwan had rendered jisung speechless, for once in his life. not long after, they started kissing again, content with their emotions and their new relationship.

seungkwan was never one to believe that good things were permanent. he was overdramatic, stubborn, and hated interacting with people outside his small social circle. that was until han jisung came along. he was starting to think that maybe, just maybe, he could let someone else into his life.

jisung was a simple man. well, not a man, but he was simple nonetheless. he liked banging parties, booze, the boys™, and bitches. well maybe there was one more thing he liked. he knew for sure he liked boo seungkwan. maybe he loved him. maybe seungkwan even felt the same way.

-fin

**BONUS**

reagan and rainbow leaned up against the door to eavesdrop on their matchmaking work.

“holy shit!” reagan gasped.

“what is it?? tell me what happened. you're hogging up the door!” rainbow hissed.

“our boy is so grown up,” reagan pretended to cry. “put your goddamn ear up here.” rainbow felt her ear connect with the cold door just as jisung confessed his feelings.

“i like you… uhh like, i like like you. i have since we first became seatmates. well, i think that's when i've liked you since. i knew whe-” his next words were cut off on the girls side of the door as reagan squealed.

“shut your mouth! seungkwans saying something!!” rainbow said, obviously annoyed that reagan was obstructing her ability to hear the exchange.

“can… can i kiss you?” they heard seungkwan say. both looked at each other in shock.

“oh. my. god.” was all rainbow could say.

“i think we should give them some alone time,” reagan suggested as she tugged rainbow down the hall.

“i think we need some alone time for ourselves,” rainbow said as reagan pushed her into a random room and locked the door behind them.

[dreamiesdotcom]

rule #6 | l.dh

Summary: With Donghyuck, growing to love feels like a black hole, but not the depressing kind. Rather, it's something hard to get away from — like a force, a very strong force that allows no escape, and it's incredibly luminous as if going supernova.

Word Count: 3.5k

a/n: hi, this is moon from somewhere august, scheduling this post before i chicken out again :D by the time it's posted, it's already Christmas so,,, merry christmas y'all who celebrate!!!! Lots of love!!!

Just like most things involving Donghyuck, falling in love with him isn't such a good idea.

That was way too sped up, though. The best way to start this story, of course, is from the very beginning— the day human migraine number one (a.k.a Jaemin) decided to bring in evil genius Huang Renjun to the circle. That would've been fine. It just so happened that beside him sat the devil incarnate, Lee Donghyuck, and that, well, is totally all four directions far away from what's acceptable.

Rule number one to surviving this life thing: Never trust cute boys with sunshine smiles and mischief in their eyes, a.k.a Donghyuck, or Haechan, whatever name he decided to go by. That's why when he reaches his hands out over the table to your direction, you quickly dismiss his attempt — "Hi! I haven't met you yet, did you skip first period? You're Y/N, ri—"

"Please never speak to me." was your reply then, and human migraine number two (a.k.a Chenle) laughs. Jaemin nags for the rest of the break, talking about manners and getting along. The fools nod alongside him. You grumble, moody for no reason and feeling particularly mean, but you warmly smile at Mark when he arrives at your table. Somewhere along the lines, you met stares with the new boy, and you give him an indifferent look.

Donghyuck took the nonchalance as a challenge.

###

The following weeks have been infuriating.

Rule #2: At all times, seek Lee Jeno's company. Unreliable as he seems when it comes to patience, the boy is quite reasonable sometimes.

Your windows align with the sweet-faced boy, your roofs almost touching — if you tried hard enough, you two could sit together, side by side, just like this. Cold wind blows, but it doesn't make you shiver. Jeno's warm, and maybe that's why you love cuddling with him so much. Maybe.

Just maybe, that could be the reason.

"I can't hear what you're saying," he slowly says, laughter seeping through his lips. You whine at that, moving away so he could see you and you could speak clearly. His hand remains holding your chin up, endearing in a soft way, but it doesn't wash away your frown. "What were you saying?"

You groan, "I said, he's so annoying! The audacity, Lee Jeno, he had the audacity to call me ba—"

Jeno watches you with tender eyes. Your heart softens, and you forget whatever next words you had to say. Maybe things will be okay? He's here, after all. Just right next door.

At least, something is going right.

###

This new boy, it seems, is appealing to many. During his first week, people have constantly trying to 'show him around', and that excuse doesn't die down until one month. From then on, people just keep following him around with "Good morning, Haechan!", "Goodbye, Haechan!" and "How was the weekends for you, Haechan-ssi?"

To be honest, it's something you had to grow used to even way before the showed up. Having Na Jaemin and Mark Lee from the Basketball team in your circle just really has a way of putting the spotlight on your lunch table. Not to mention, Renjun, Jeno, and Jisung, who despite being quiet, just has a certain charm to them — Jaemin's words, not yours. And oh, don't even get started on Chenle. That boy is a social butterfly.

The difference is that he keeps entertaining them, unlike the others who awkwardly laughs or just greets back — safe to say that sometimes, the 'goodness' of his heart gets in the way of your education and daily life. Times just like this.

Jisung's name shines brightly at the top of the list. You cling to the boy excitedly, pinching his cheeks and slightly bouncing on your heels, "You made it on the dance team, Sungie! Oh my God, oh my Go—"

"Y/N..." he drawls out, both hands resting on your shoulder as if to calm you down, but the excitement in his eyes betrays his intentions. On the other side, Renjun waves at you with the others. It makes you chuckle, and you motion for them come — that is, of course, until someone pushes you, almost sending you to the ground if not for Jisung catching you midfall.

The girl furrows her brows, "Move, you're blocking the way."

Your palms itch at that moment, and you couldn't believe just what you heard — the nerve!

"Where's your manners?" rings Donghyuck's voice from where he's slowly making way towards you with the others, a grimace on each of their faces. Attitude seeps from his gaze, the kind that would've made someone quiver. "Don't go around pushing people."

"Wh—"

"Stop." you clench your hands to fists, thanking Jisung before straightening up. Through gritted teeth, you calmly look at the girl with a scowl on her face. "Look, I'm sorry, but can you politely ask me to move next time? That's be appreciated, thank you."

After bidding the others a small smile, you turn around to make your way to the library. What? For peace? For space? Just to be as far away from the boy following you right now as possible? You don't even know at this point. You feel like your celebration is ruined and all you want is distance from the person you dislike the most — to be honest, you don't know anything about him aside from the fact that he's Lee Donghyuck and that he's annoying, and that you automatically hate him. You don't plan on knowing more. That's why before entering the library, you turn around to face him with a solemn look.

"Thank you." he halts in shock. His smile widens, but you look at him with the same seriousness in your face. "But don't do it again. I don't need saving, Lee Donghyuck."

Later that night, you grit your teeth as you write down another rule: Say your gratitude but don't get used to the way he saves you. You're not a damsel. Just hand the goddamn sword or you'll be fine with your fists — maybe your eyes for daggers, too.

####

Rule #3: Never go to him for comfort.

22nd of April, 10:35 p.m. You close your eyes and wait. The clock hits eleven and you open the door for the others, greeting everyone with a cheerful smile. "Where's Jaemin?"

Mark shrugs, "Said he has an essay. He'll be late for a bit, but he'll make it before 12."

23rd of April, 12:00 a.m, your heartbeat races. Everything's all set, everyone's in the living room. You take out your phone with a giggle, typing out 'Happy Birthday, dummy!!!' with the biggest grin on your face. Jisung judges you slightly, but he quickly forgets it when a taunting yell from Renjun comes. You sit in the kitchen, staring at the delicately decorated cake, and you wait.

One hour turns to two, then three. Your smile fades slightly, and you check your phone for replies. When nothing comes, you click over his contact shakily.

To: Star <3

Happy Birthday, dummy!!!

Hey, Jen? You're one door away from me and yet you're an hour late.

Birthday boy, you're not ditching us on your own celebration, aren't ya?

When are you coming over ;-;

From: Star <3

I'm sorry!!!

Sorry but I'll be late!

Jaeminnie really needs my help with something.

We'll be there! I'm sorry, Y/N

Your smile disappears. Sullenly making your way to the living room, you count your steps to keep your ground. You look at the others in front of you with a smile, "Go start the movie, I'll wait for Jeno and Jaemin outside. Deal?"

"Sure." Chenle chirps, his grin never fading. Must be because of cheating his way through besting Jisung, Donghyuck, Mark, and Renjun at Monopoly for the past three hours, probably ruining their friendship. Oblivious to the world, Renjun grumbles something about Jeno never being punctual, that he'd pray that trait onto him as a birthday gift. You glance at them before heading back outside, sitting down outside your door, head in between your knees.

A tear. Maybe two. Is this how heartbreak feels like? The kind of crying where you can't even make a sound because people could hear, but then even your teardrops seem to be so loud.

The door opens and you put your head up, hurriedly wiping them away. You put on your best smile until Donghyuck occupies the space beside you. He hands you a handkerchief.

"Don't," he whispers when you obviously hold down a sob, and he leans you on his chest. You cry freely there — you don't know why you let him of all people, but all you know was that you couldn't think straight; desperation blooms on your chest like fresh flowers die over time, and he doesn't judge. He just holds you — no cheesy pet name, no flirty looks, no catch. Just someone to be with.

At 4 a.m with Lee Donghyuck, the starless sky and the moon all alone looks a little less lonely. In front of you, the sun begins to rise.

##

Rule #4: Aaaaand if you don't follow the preceding rule, then, you're fucked. This is your mess. Good luck, you're alone on this one.

After Jeno's birthday (and after he made up to you, he spent a month doing that.) something just begins to change. A pleasant shift, according to Mark.

From that day, something in you says that maybe, just maybe, he's not so bad and you were just unfair to him. This realization must be something brought by time; slowly, you got used to Renjun and Hyuck being a part of your circle. These tutoring sessions must be a factor as well, judging how to two get to spend time alone in the same table as you can't possibly study with the others around you.

Donghyuck would do anything to evade mathematics, though. At least that's what it looks like right now, as he doodles around the margins instead of solving the problems, and then opens a topic, "Nana and Jisung looks cute together. Should've known they wouldn't be serious with each other, him and Jeno."

You roll your eyes, but not the way you did back then. It's way softer, much more affectionate. "It's been a year, let them be."

"So what? It's only been a year." he seems really determined to waste time. He even makes a show of briefly making eye contact before pouting at the paper, "You and Jeno still pretend to be just friends, but the whole school's just waiting for you two to kiss."

You chuckle, "We don't."

"You do."

"Used to." you correct. You look over to the other table, Jaemin and Jeno throwing a banter while Jisung begs them to stop before Renjun smacks them all with a book. You gaze down the notes you're studying before shrugging, "Things change."

"Example?" he tentatively asks, absentmindedly tracing the letters and numbers scattered around his notebook. You rest your chin on your palm.

"Well, now, I might like you." because honestly, you do. He's a great company, although sometimes overwhelming and annoying. Especially that most of the time when he's with Jaemin, they brew the worst ideas together and it's pretty much storm from there.

It would be a lie to say that it's not one of the things that makes you feel warm, slowly growing fond. Your voice softens as he tilts up to meet your gaze, and you flash him a saccharine smile. "Soon, it might not be because you're my friend."

Things like this make you feel like you've missed everything with Jeno, all the things you both could've had; it's like you should've been like this. It's like you should've been holding hands, or walking down the streets, or sitting on a rooftop and asking for a kiss. The kind that would send a rush of energy on your veins, shaking you back to life, losing you to the dream that is the way his lips move against you. But best friends don't do that, so you don't.

Hyuck is not Jeno, though. He's not your best friend.

With Donghyuck, growing to love feels like a black hole, but not the depressing kind. Rather, it's something hard to get away from — like a force, a very strong force that allows no escape, and it's incredibly luminous as if going supernova.

###

Rule #5: Well, seems like you can't back out now. Love him. Love him so much that the sunshine in his eyes never fades.

"Why are we celebrating Mark's last day in town?" Donghyuck sits down in the living room, looking around at the place — balloons, snacks, a cake, everyone in your friend group. He sets down his gift, "Are we that glad that he's leaving?"

Mark huffs, "You'd fucking cry once you miss me and I'm cities away, Lee Donghyuck."

"I won't miss you because I'm coming over to your dorm every day and I'm dragging everyone with me." Donghyuck smiles and even when Mark shoves him a little at that, everyone knows that he's happy the younger said that. He flashes his sly smile, "You, however... ah, what do we do? Mark might miss me so much he fails three subjects."

Everyone cackles at that, and Mark only raises his arms at surrender, saying something about not joking like that because he's honestly 'terrified to start hell', wanting to just stay here and finish school with all of you, ranting about how troublesome it is to transfer. You lean back on your loveseat, lightly kicking Hyuck's feet. "What?"

"You talk like this but you'd sulk tomorrow, wouldn't you?" You taunt, snickering. "This is false advertising."

Donghyuck gapes as the others fall over laughing. "Oi, are you trying to help me fill out all the ten reasons I hate you?"

"You have only ten for me?" you add, and for some reason, that makes the others laugh harder. "I have a hundred for you, Hyuckie."

"I could write you thousands—"

Jeno scrunches his face, hands moving to cover Donghyuck's mouth. "Just please go kiss each other."

Donghyuck tears away from his hold, rolls his eyes, and waves goodbye. He tugs you away from Jaemin and then leads you upstairs, but not before one last banter with Jeno, who, in his all confused expression, tilts his head in question, "Ya, where are you going?"

"I'm not kissing Y/N in front of you fools."

And true to his word, that's what he does.

Donghyuck smiles like the world is kind, like unending unconditional love, without boundaries nor fears. He kisses like that, too, passionate and deep. He does it like it's the end of the world, as if it's the only thing he wants to do. He does it like he's thanking every single thing that led him up to this moment. He kissed you under those stars in his balcony, a hand warm on your waist with the other softly caressing your jaw, and it seemed like it lasted forever.

Because that's the truth. The last time never feels like the last time. There had to be more to this than what the skies have laid down.

Inside your dreamy little mind, Donghyuck was eternal and the love you shared was forever. That's what happened. You thought you had forever.

You thought you had forever, but you didn't.

###

Rule #6: But that won't make him stay if he's bound to leave. Accept that and love him, still. Love him through the rain.

"Lee Jeno tripped!" yells Chenle's loud voice, gaining the attention of everybody in the room, "And fell in love with Y/N, totally whipped that they can't even shop separately!"

"Hell, Chenle, where's your mute button?" Renjun hissed, "We gotta buy presents too. Who decided to do this so late, though? It's the 24th! You guys should've done it weeks ago!"

"Let's go?" Jeno asks, blatantly ignoring Renjun as he waits for you to take his hands. You smirk, waving the folded paper to the others after entwining fingers with him.

"Bye, losers! See y'all later~" you wink. Before being dragged out the Cafe, you point at your friends' direction "Whoever had my name better give me a decent gift, or Christmas is cancelled!"

"Baby, stop that," he asks, squeezing your hands to make you calm down. Your laugh even louder. He smiles, "Who did you get?"

"Hey, Lee, you don't get special treatment just because I'm dating you. It's a secret." you roll your eyes, a skip in your step even though the weather is cold. Jeno steals a peck on your cheeks, and your eyes widen. "Lee Jeno!"

Before you could even catch him, he's already running away from you, and you're almost falling over laughing as you try to catch up to him. He meets you at the end, in front of a busy mall, and catches you with a hug. You laugh on his chest, warm against his hold.

If memories come washing over you, no one has to know. Jeno looks lovely against white. He feels like art on a Christmas day, so beautiful and warm and special. That's all that matters.

"We agreed that we wouldn't try..." Donghyuck whispers, arms around you, "if things will get too harsh on the other, didn't we?"

"Yeah... if I was to leave, Hyuck, I don't want you waiting on me." you responded, half-asleep and sincere, "But I'm only saying it because I'm not leaving."

Donghyuck laughed, "Well, just making sure that if that happens, we'll meet again, yeah?"

"Hyuck, shut up. Nobody's leaving." you groaned, stirring at the joyful yelling downstairs. "Looks like it's 12 already. Merry Christmas, baby."

"Mhm, Merry Christmas. I love you." He smiles, leaves a slow, gentle kiss on your lips. "I love you. I'll love you even more this year."

Does moving away without a word count as loving someone more than you did the past year?

"You're spacing out." Jeno smiles, "Am I that handsome?"

"You always are. Stunning." you quickly reply, a little guilty. You enter the busy room and part ways so that you could shop for your gifts, but not before deciding on a meeting point and leaving a sweet, loving kiss. "Come back, yeah?"

"Of course." he nods before parting ways. Your heart remains at peace — as planned, at the end of the day, Jeno would come back to you at the entrance. He won't leave like the other did. He won't do that to you...

Two hours before Christmas, you sit down on your own for a bit, occasionally distracted by the noise. At their loudness, you can make out Mark trying to calm everybody down, Jaemin threatening murder to keep Jisung and Mark away from the kitchen, Jeno convincing Chenle to get a dog. As you write down their yearly letters, you can't get rid of the smile on your face.

Why they decided to spend this holiday at yours, you don't really understand. Can't say you're against it, though. It's perfect; the tree all of you built together, the presents, the games you'll spend the night playing. The friendship.

Only that someone's missing. As if to lessen the pain, you write his name down on the paper — except it's not a new one, but rather, the page you've been foolishly writing your rules on; the rules that never stood a chance to save you. You trace your hands over the words, but you quickly shake nostalgia away as you turn the page over.

Hello, Donghyuck-ah!

You know the drill. For some time, you received some of my letters, didn't you? After all, we spent some years together... as enemies, as friends, as lovers. You probably memorized how it goes: I'll dwell on the year, I'll tell you how I chose your gift, I'll try to say how much I adore you, and then I'll thank you for being here.

Unfortunately this time, I can't tell you how our year went... I didn't spend it with you. I wasn't able to get you a gift, too, because I don't know if your preferences changed. And I can't thank you for being here. I can't because you're not.

Though I could still tell you that I love you, now it's kind of different. It's less of something that desperately needs you, and more of the kind that longs for you. Jeno and I got together at last. It's complicated how we happened, but we gave it a try and... just. That. You won't read this, but I still want you to know... even if this will never reach you.

Remember that we said that we'll meet again? Well, where are you? Are you happy? How's life been, miles away from home, from your friends, Hyuck-ah?

Merry Christmas. I hope you're happy.

I hope you are, of course, I do. I want you to be happy, I do. I can't wish for anything more — I want you to be happy... just that I hope you're sad sometimes, too, just like me... because of me. I want your heart to break sometimes too. I want you to cry sometimes too. In those empty spaces, I want you to remember me.

And I know you won't do any of that, but in my twisted imagination, you do. And you are.

You're the happiest you could be, but not that much — not happy enough that you'd forget me.

[s-and-n-writes]

another long day

crimson and bluebell: part two

summary:

Marinette Rossi is tired of everything: from Lila’s constant berating and Madame Rossi’s preferential care of her ‘angel-like’ daughter, to how everyone at school (even Alya) seems to believe her evil stepsister over her.

It’s like she’s Cinderella, except without the fairy godmother and the happy ending. She doesn’t even have a prince.

Or so she thinks.

Between the appearance of a new boy who seems to have captured her heart, and a gala run by her fashion idol Gabriel Agreste, Marinette hopes for an escape the constant ignorance, workload, and bullying she endures, and get a blissful life of her own.

With the help of one tiny god and a meow-velous partner, she might finally get a chance, but not everything is that simple.

They say ladybugs are lucky, so will being the elusive Ladybug bring Marinette the luck she oh-so-desperately needs?

quick links:

< previous chapter | first chapter | next chapter >

| miraculous masterlist | series masterlist |

a/n: so hi again, it’s me, n! im so so so sorry that i didn’t post for a long time, school caught up with me and everything’s getting v stressful these days. regardless, my new year’s resolution is to post more of these, and i’ll actively make an effort to do that hehe, in the meantime, enjoy!

also i’m appalled at the fact that this was 15 pages long and took more than a month to write how are you doing

Marinette had thought that the whole coffee spill, glass breaking fiasco would be relatively easy to clean.

She was wrong.

It takes her all of 10 minutes to clean up the glass, and another 20 minutes to try and clean up the coffee.

Key word: try.

Marinette ends up at school 30 minutes late, the coffee-stained carpet rolled off to the side at home, effectively ruined. She hasn’t even thought about the cracked glass table yet, which she hid by placing a tissue over top of it after Lila left.

Needless to say, all of this puts a little bit of a damper on her day.

As Marinette walks up the staircase of Francois Dupont, the school she goes to, she spots Alya Cesaire inside. Alya is Marinette’s closest friend, and despite having moved to Paris only a year ago, it feels like Marinette has known her for their entire lives.

“Girl, girl, girl…” Alya sighs as Marinette walks through the doors. It’s a free period, and students litter the area. Marinette spots Lila walking with one of her friends on the other side of the school, and luckily, Lila doesn’t see her.

There’s one good thing about school that Marinette adores: she doesn’t have to see Lila. Lila’s always had Madame Mendeleev for homeroom, and Marinette’s had Madame Bustier. Because of this, their schedules never interact, which allows Marinette to avoid Lila for the duration of the school day.

“I’m so sorry!” Marinette pleads, running up to Alya and shrugging her backpack off her shoulder. “There was a coffee spill, and glass broke, and-OH GOD I MISSED THE MATH TEST!!!”

“Marinette, chill,” Alya laughs. “The math test got rescheduled, but Ms.Bustier is pretty mad about you being late,”

Marinette sighs. “That’s a relief,”

“But you still missed a lot of news~,” Alya says, singing the last word.

Alya aspires to be a journalist, so on the occasions that Marinette wasn’t late, Alya would give her anything and everything interesting she’d dug up that week.

"I know, I know," Marinette sighs, fingers loosely picking at her shirt again. The seams stay intact, but Marinette's mind doesn't. The coffee spill and the glass breaking is constantly on her mind; she's not sure what to do. 

"Nice shirt, girl," Alya smiles, breaking Marinette away from her thoughts. Alya's good at that, and she notices when Marinette lets her mind wander, something that happens a little too often for her tastes. "Did you make it?" 

Marinette bursts into a grin. "Yes! I used that gorgeous thread that Sabine bought last week for my birthday, you know, the one I kept talking about, and it was absolutely amazing! I had to make this! What do you think? Do you like it?" 

The shirt is simple; a white base with flowers of varying sizes lining the edge. Marinette pairs it with her old, pink jeans (the fabric for the flowers on her shirt came from some leftover ones she had when making the jeans) and a dark-gray blazer that Lila used to own. 

"It's beautiful," Alya smiles, "But hey, I’m more excited for you-know-who’s reaction," 

Marinette rolls her eyes, hiding her face as an involuntary blush rises to her face. "Alya! You know I don't like him like that!," 

Alya grins. "Just teasing," 

“Well, anyways, tell me what I missed during lunch, I’m off to the classroom, before Ms. Bustier comes looking for me,” Marinette smiles, turning and running up the stairs. 

“Good luck, girl!” Alya says, waving goodbye and pulling out her phone. 

“Good luck, girl!” Alya says, waving goodbye and pulling out her phone.

The day passes quickly, and lunch comes sooner than Marinette expects.

She meets Alya outside of Francois Dupont, and they both head to Ville de Soirée, a cafe which isn’t nearly as expensive as the others in the area. They both order their usuals, and sit in one of the booths as they wait for their drinks.

Marinette sighs and leans back. “Ok, ok, tell me,”

Alya, who is most probably on the verge of exploding from her excitement, gears up. “Ok, so you know Nino, right?”

“You mean the boy you’ve been obsessing over since we met him?” Marinette teases. “Oh hey, I might have an inkling,”

Alya blushes, her cheeks tinting rouge. “Shut up,”

Marinette giggles. “Ok, go on,”

“Anyway, Nino texted me yesterday that his parents finally agreed, and he’ll be starting school starting Monday next week!”

“Ah! That’s so exciting! I’m so happy for you!” Marinette laughs. “Now you can actually make a move!”

“Don’t get ahead of yourself, I’ll let you play matchmaker when the time comes,” Alya laughs, “there’s also something else, and this one I know you’ll be even happier about,”

The barista interrupts Alya, placing two steaming drinks in front of them. They both reach for their drinks, with Marinette holding the cup in her hand and Alya taking a sip. She grins.

“Nino’s friend, you know, Adrien Agreste, is also coming too,”

She pulls back, looking smug as she tries to read Marinette’s face.

The girl in question sighs, shaking her head. “Who even is Adrien, and why does everyone keep mentioning him to me?”

Alya facepalms, groaning.

“Girl, sometimes I swear you live under a rock,” Alya sighs, shaking her head. “How do you not know who Adrien Agreste is? His ads are literally everywhere!”

Marinette pouts. “Well maybe I just haven’t seen him,”

Alya rolls her eyes and shakes her head. “Ohh no, there’s no way you’ve missed him ,”

She pulls up her phone and momentarily scrolls as Marinette waits.

“Here,” she says, “That’s him,”

The photo on Alya’s screen is from last February, Marinette recognizes. She remembers how Lila bought a copy of the magazine it came in, although she wasn’t allowed to see it.

But the boy is familiar. His face is similar to someone’s, but Marinette can’t pinpoint who it—

Oh.

Oh.

He’s Gabriel Agreste’s son.

Marinette leans back.

“That’s Monsieur Agreste’s son! I should’ve known, how could I have missed it when Madame Rossi told us about him?”

Alya squints her eyes. “Wait what?”

“There’s a fashion show that Adrien’s dad is hosting, and the embassy’s holding a huge event to greet all the fashion officials that are coming. Madame Rossi got us all passes to go,” Marinette says.

“That’s the one my mom’s cooking for! It’s next weekend right? She would not stop talking about it all weekend. I can try and score a pass, to you know, keep you company?”

Marinette gasps suddenly, burying her face in her hands, “Ah! I forgot! I won’t be able to go, since Li— I mean I, spilled coffee all over our new carpet,”

Alya raises an eyebrow.

“Fine, fine, I cracked some glass too,” Marinette sighs, face growing redder. “Madame Rossi’s gonna ground me for sure!”

Alya shakes her head. “Somehow I can believe it. You are the clumsiest person I know,”

She nods thoughtfully, fingers closing around the fox necklace on her neck. “Well I can’t deal with the whole glass situation, but maybe I can help with the coffee stuff? Happens to my mom all the time,”

Marinette perks up. “Really? Would you? Oh thank you Alya!”

Alya laughs. “No problem girl, I’ll come by after your shift at the bakery,”

Marinette pauses. After work would be...when Lila comes home.

Alya has always been a fan of Lila, but despite knowing Marinette, she’s only admired Marinette’s less-than-wonderful sister from afar. This means that so far, Marinette has managed to keep Alya and Lila separate.

Does she really want to risk that?

Weighing in the situation, she sighs. Would she rather have a shot at attending a potentially life-changing event, or safely escape Alya meeting Lila?

Knowing the both of them, Marinette remembers, they’d be a deadly combo.

But Marinette really wants to go to the event so, maybe this time, she might just give in.

“Great!” Marinette says, happiness laced with fear. “That’s...great!

Alya nods, smiling, watching as Marinette giggles.

“Now about setting you up with Nino…”

Alya turns away, blushing, “Marinette!”

Today

Lie-la 😒: sup loser

Lie-la 😒: im going to the mall with my friends after school

Lie-la 😒: if my mom comes in early

Lie-la 😒: you know what to say

Lie-la 😒: type, maribrat. use those lousy fingers.

You: yea, sure lila.

Lie-la 😒: good.

Marinette sighs and pockets her phone. For today, she is safe.

And that’s all she has ever wanted.

Marinette’s day ends with her feeling happier than when it began. Alya’s coming over to wash out the coffee stain, Lila won’t be there when she gets home, and she’s heading to her shift at the bakery!

It’s normal for work to not be exciting to most people, but for Marinette, it always is. Heading to the Dupain-Cheng bakery is always the highlight of her day, and working there is even better. The owners, Sabine and Tom, are like the parents she never had, what with them spoiling her with all the food they give and teaching her how to bake. Customers even tell Marinette all the time that she looks strikingly similar to Sabine, but she doesn’t see it.

In truth, she’s only ever even thought about becoming a designer because of the Dupain-Chengs, and if it weren’t for their motivation, she’s sure that she would be in a much different place right now.

But that’s not what Marinette worries about right now. Despite school ending early and the bakery being right across the street from where she is, she still manages to be late.

She exchanges a quick goodbye with Alya, who chuckles at her frazzled state, and dashes off towards work.

“I’m here!” she shouts, running into the bakery, the familiar jingle of the store’s door’s bell ringing in her ears. “Sorry!

Sabine laughs as she hands a box of pastries to a customer, waving as they leave. “Just on time. Hello Marinette,”  

Marinette winces as Sabine holds out her apron. “Sorry again, Sabine!”

Tom laughs from the kitchen behind the store, the sound booming through the bakery. “Marinette!”

“Tom!” Marinette says back, her lips curving into a smile.

Sabine eyes Marinette as she ties the apron behind her, quickly joining the older woman behind the counter.

“So?” she asks. “What’s new with you?”

Marinette sighs. “Not much, not much...oh! Madame Rossi has an embassy gathering to welcome a couple of famous people into France. And not just any people, people who work in the fashion industry!”

Sabine nods, smiling at Marinette’s delight. “And why exactly are these people coming?”

“It’s for the Gabriel event. I don’t know when it is, but apparently Gabriel Agreste is holding a huge gala, something about searching for a fashion assistant?,”

Sabine perks up at fashion assistant. “Marinette, you should enter!”

Marinette gasps. “I couldn’t! There’s no way! I mean, my designs are barely adequate, let alone Agreste worthy!”

Sabine shakes her head. “Everyone knows that isn’t true. Don’t put yourself down like that!”

Marinette blushes. “Thanks Sabine,”

The woman smiles. “Well, anyways, are you allowed to go to the embassy event? It’s a great opportunity, you wouldn’t want to miss it,”

“I mean, Madame Rossi did invite me and Lila, but Lila spilled a bunch of coffee on the carpet, and cracked the dining table this morning. It’s all a stunt, she did it on purpose. She’s blaming it on me, which means I’ll get grounded, and I won’t be able to go, and you know there’s nothing I can do about that,”

Sabine sighs, placing a hand on Marinette’s shoulder. “Oh dear. The next time I see Lila, I’ll tell Tom to get that girl and her mother arrested!”

Marinette laughs. “As much as I’d like that, where would I live?”

The rumble of the oven from behind the store dies down, and Tom walks into the main room. The room seems friendlier all at once, his large personality filling the space.

“Here, with us,” he declares proudly. “You’re like a daughter already,”

Marinette giggles, her cheeks growing red. “Alright guys, we’ll see,”

Sabine and Tom laugh as Marinette runs away to help a customer. Their afternoons with Marinette pass by quickly, and while they wish it was longer, you know what they say: time flies when you're having fun.

By the time Marinette gets off her shift, it’s 5:30 in the evening. Paris’s sky starts to fade from its normal cotton-candy blue to a marmalade orange. The hustle and bustle of the busy streets start to die down, and once she texts her address to Alya, Marinette makes her way to the bus stop.

While her time in the bakery is her favorite time of day, her time on the bus doesn’t prove to be too bad either. She likes the quiet silence, and enjoys her time away from the world around her.

The bus is probably her favorite mode of transportation (but her only one as well). When she volunteered to work at the bakery after school, Madame Rossi decided that ‘the streets were too dark at night for Marinette to walk alone’, and she was given a bus pass.

It was a small and random act of kindness that Marinette wouldn’t ever get again. It was also the only gift she ever got from her adopted mother, and despite not being too fond of Madame Rossi, she did treasure the gift.

Madame Rossi paid for her bus rides until Marinette was actually hired at the bakery. It was then that she decided to have Marinette pay her own bills, an action that most certainly helped Marinette for the future.

The sound of tires skidding against the pathway jolts Marinette out of her thoughts. She turns to see her normal bus waiting in front of her, and grabbing her bus pas, waits in line behind a couple others to get on.

That is, until she sees what’s about to happen.

Marinette watches as a man across the street tries to cross. He’s old, as his grayed hair and aged face tells, but his most identifiable quality is the red Hawaiian shirt he wears, embossed with a white hibiscus floral pattern.

Besides that, there’s also a car coming straight for him, and though it’s a little while away, there’s no doubt that he’ll get hit.

Marinette does the only thing she can think of. She runs.

The street is narrow, and Marinette manages to pull the man across the pathway before the car comes. She huffs, turning to the man to smile.

He has an odd look in his eyes, lips curved into a mysterious smile as Marinette quirks her eyebrow.

“Thank you, young lady,” he nods.

“You’re welcome!” she smiles, turning to look at the bus, which has started leaving. “Goodbye and stay safe, sir!”

The old man watches as Marinette just manages to catch the bus, stopping it and shouldering her backpack as she climbs on.

Marinette seats herself as the bus starts once more, and turns to her window to look for the old man.

But by the time she does, he’s gone.

Alya gets to Marinette's house at just the right time. When she reaches, Marinette has done a couple of her chores, cleaned up the living room, and put out the carpet in the first floor bathroom. Against the white rug, the coffee stain is obvious, and Marinette sighs as she inspects it.

How were they ever going to get it out?

There’s a knock at the front door, and Marinette knows it’s Alya. Smiling, the girl heads to the living room to open it.

Alya gasps as she sees the house. From the marble kitchen to the hickory-brown wood flooring, everything is pristine and clean, as if the Rossis live in a mansion.

(They don’t, but the house is still fairly big. Marinette sometimes has to clean it all as part of her chores, but luckily that hasn’t happened in a while.)

“Dang girl,” Alya sighs, “you rich or what?”

Marinette nervously laughs, cracking her knuckles. “Uh, I don’t know,”

“I’m joking,” Alya smiles. “But, random thing, where’s Lila?”

“She’s out. Doctor’s appointment for her, um, wrist,”

“Aw, that’s too bad. Tell her I said get better soon!”

Marinette sighs. She doesn’t like lying, but it’s far better than what would happen if she told the truth.

“Yea. Anyway, how are you getting the stain out? I tried all morning, but it was stuck,”

“Just watch me, girl,” Alya smirks. “Before we start though, you already blotted the stain,right?”

Marinette furrows her eyebrows. “Blotted? What do you mean?”

Alya demonstrates with her hands. “Like, did you take a paper towel and try to get as much of the stain out as you could?”

Marinette nods. “Yeah, that’s why I was late this morning,”

Alya nods. “Ok, so now we just have to make the cleaner,”

Marinette raises an eyebrow. “Make? This is getting a little crazy,”

“It’s really not,” Alya laughs, “I’ve done this a thousand times before. My sisters knock over my dad’s coffee way too much,”

Marinette laughs. “Alright then, show me what to do,”

Alya makes her way to the kitchen, filing through multiple cabinets. “Where’s your dish soap?”

“Bottom-left drawer next to the sink,” Marinette points.

“And your white vinegar?”

“Fridge. Anything else you need?”

“Just water,” Alya replies. “Warm, that is. And two cups of it,”

Marinette nods. “Got it,”

Alya takes out a steel bowl from one of the cabinets. “And can I use this?”

Marinette nods again. “Go ahead,”

“Great,” Alya says, pouring a spoon of dish soap followed by a spoon of vinegar. She waits for Marinette to get the water before adding that in as well, and then mixing. “That should do,”

“Work your magic then,” Marinette laughs.

“Just watch and see girl, I totally will,”

Alya finds a cleaning rag from a drawer in the island, and she runs over to the carpet. “Grab yourself a rag, Marinette, and let’s get started!”

Marinette laughs, and runs over to help. The time passes quickly, and by the time the coffee stain is gone and the carpet is dry, two hours have gone by. Their hands are sore and their legs are tired, but both can say that they had fun.

In the midst of it, Marinette almost doesn’t notice when Lila texts her.

Today

— 2 New Messages —

Lie-La 😒: open the back door

Lie-la 😒: im right by my house

Almost.

“Alya!” Marinette gasps, both sitting on the couch after the carpet was rolled back underneath the dining table. “It’s so late, don’t you have to go at 7?”

Alya tilts her head, confused. “No?”

“Oh well then I must have said it,” Marinette laughs nervously. “Yes that’s right! I’ve got work, haha. Bye!”

Marinette practically pushes Alya to the front door, while Alya looks lost and puzzled.

“Didn’t you already have work?” Alya asks.

“Yep, but gotta save up for uni right? Haha. Haha,”

Alya nods, squinting her eyes as she walks out the door.

“Um, bye? See you at school, girl,” Alya nods, quietly laughing.

“Bye!” Marinette smiles. Once Alya is farther away and out of sight, Marinette runs to open the back door. She can faintly hear the sounds of Lila’s friend’s car pulling into the driveway, so she dashes back upstairs as fast as she can. The last thing she wants to do is talk to Lila, much less be alone in a room with her.

She hopes that Lila won’t try anything while she’s in her room.

Sighing, she smiles when she stops at the attic door, and heads inside.

Before Madame Rossi found her and decided to take her in (how she came to that conclusion, Marinette would never know), the attic was all set to be Lila’s playroom. The entire room was painted pink from head to toe (even the carpet was a light shade of pink). There was a wooden wardrobe for all of Lila’s toys, and a desk with markers, painting supplies, and coloring pencils galore.

But then Marinette came along.

For one reason or another, she was given the attic as her own room. Out went the ideas of toys and tents in the room, and in came Marinette.

Madame Rossi didn’t give her anything. From the age of 2 till the age of 4, she slept on the ground, the lack of a bed present to her each night.

Until Lila outgrew her bed of course, which was then given to Marinette.

It was simple. Since Marinette was smaller than Lila, and slower at growing, she was often given Lila’s old things. All the clothes that Lila didn’t want, Marinette had. From her bed to the old beanbag in her room (one of the only things Lila gave her as decoration) everything was a hand me down from Lila herself.

Marinette sighs, and then flops into the bed. She’s lucky that Lila doesn’t bother if Marinette doesn’t get on her nerves.

Hopefully, until she can get out of this place, she’ll manage without angering Lila too much.

Standing up, Marinette locks herself in the attic, a faint click of the door behind her, and gets out her phone. Opening up Spotify, she starts her playlist, and goes over to the desk.

For the next hour, she does homework and finishes a project, all while sketching out designs for new dresses.

And hey, if she’s lucky, she might just be able to make one for the gala.

Marinette shuffles through her desk drawers, pop music playing through her earbuds. It’s nearly 8 PM and she’s searching for the special gold thread she had bought a couple weeks ago. It cost nearly a month's pay, and she’s been saving it for a special occasion.

With the dress she was sketching, she wanted to know if it was now.

She’s still searching through the drawers on the left side of the desk when she finds a box.

One that she feels might not have been there before.

(Then again, she rarely looks through all her drawers, so there’s always a chance that it could’ve been.)

Marinette feels confused. The box is made of a dark brown wood, and shaped like an octagon. The top of the box is embossed with a red design. Glimmering red circles meet wavy, thin lines, but Marinette is preoccupied with figuring out what the box is for.

In the end, she decides to open it. There can’t be much inside, can there?

Turns out, Marinette is wrong.

The moment she opens it is a frightful one. In that second, there’s a bright flash of light. It swirls around her as Marinette gasps, dropping the box onto the carpet as two solid-black earrings fall out.

That’s not the amazing part of it all though. After a second, Marinette comes face to face with a spotted red creature.

Needless to say, she screams.

“Hi Marinette!” the spotted creature says. “My name is Tikki! It’s nice to meet you!”

“Mouse!” Marinette hollers, “Bug! Bug-mouse! Talking bug mouse!”

Marinette scooches back, her hand grabbing books and papers off her desk as she throws them at Tikki.

“I’m here to help!” Tikki says, dodging the objects. “I’m here to help you!”

“Liar!” Marinette calls, searching for more things to throw. “This must be Lila’s version of a joke ! I can’t believe her!”

She takes her water-bottle from her backpack, and quickly moves to trap Tikki in it.

“It’s ok Marinette, I won’t hurt you,” Tikki smiles. “But if this makes you feel better, then this is ok!”

There’s a pause, and then Marinette sighs and chooses not to answer, leaning back, and quickly grabbing her school tablet off her desk. She points it at Tikki, trying her best to look intimidating.

“Who are you?” Marinette asks, “and what do you want?”

“Like I said, my name’s Tikki! I’m a kwami!” the tiny bug says, (still trapped in the bottle but floating in midair, Marinette notes) “And I want to help you!”

Marinette sighs, lowering her weapon tablet. “Did Lila send you somehow?”

Tikki furrows her forehead in place of her eyebrows. “No? Who’s Lila?”

Marinette bitterly chuckles, standing and throwing her arms into the air. “This. This. This is why you can’t help me. No one can. Anyone who meets Lila thinks she’s an ‘absolute angel’, and no one else knows her. How is someone supposed to help me if no one knows that my problem exists?!”

“Marinette,” Tikki sighs, “I promise you, I can help, if you’ll listen to me. Please let me explain, and then you can decide if you want to trust me or not, ok?”

Marinette pauses, considering the situation, and sits a fair distance away from Tikki, keeping her tablet in her hands.

“Ok,” she responds, facing the little bug. “But you have 5 minutes,”

Tikki smiles again. "And that's all I need,"

quick links: < previous chapter | first chapter | next chapter >

a/n: i resolve to post the next chapter soon lmaoo, thanks for reading! have an absolutely amazing day, you deserve it! 

taglist:

i’ll be tagging the people that i had tagged before, along with a couple others who liked the previous chapter for this series. if you don’t want to get tagged, i’m very sorry! just shoot me a private message, and i’ll take you off the tags. if you do want to get tagged, just tell me with a private message or an ask and i’ll add you to the taglist. thank you!

@reddragonofemeraldflame  @nomiegnome  @18markers @katbab @emmathedestroyer @bluesesameseed @cyborgcandy @karukofox21 @aestheticnpoetic c @magnificentcrapposts @miraculouslylee @lonestarfangirl2014 @lambdaarietis @miraculous-twilight @miraculous-twilight @silver-twilight @emmarosemary11​ @whiterosequeen23 @whatschooldoesntteachyou @shaykaleen @itswelphereiamuniverse​ @seraphichana​ @ladynoirotphell​ @tinynuggetofterror​ @tinkabella256​ @coopermaggie​

[atinyidea]

Appellation | Ateez | COMING SOON

╭                                                                            ╮

       Appellation /ˌapəˈleɪʃ(ə)n/ noun 

       FORMAL 

       noun: appellation; plural noun: appellations 

       a name or title

╰                                                                           ╯

a series of one-shots created around a singular word and its meaning.

appellation masterlist | main masterlist

Ambedo ——— Kang Yeosang

n. a kind of melancholic trance in which you become completely absorbed in vivid sensory details—raindrops skittering down a window, tall trees leaning in the wind, clouds of cream swirling in your coffee—briefly soaking in the experience of being alive, an act that is done purely for its own sake.

☞ Made an orphan after the birth of your youngest sibling you had no choice but to grow up at a young age. Your birth father having been killed at sea while in the Royal Navy and your mother failing to complete her will during her pregnancy sickness had landed you in the arms of a greedy tyrant of the underground who snatched you and your siblings to take away all you had to your name. Unfortunately for you, when you put up a fight, as it was your duty as the eldest, you were requited with pain, fear-mongering and death threats leaving you with no choice but to follow your ‘new fathers’ rule. You were taught the tricks and tips of being a shadow, a thief in the night and while you could never actually kill someone you definitely knew how to make it look like an accident. You thought all your life would be drowned in the mixed greys of misery you never stopped to find the rainbow and Gods it was a sight when you finally found it.

Anecdoche ——— Park Seonghwa

n. a conversation in which everyone is talking, but nobody is listening, simply overlaying disconnected words like a game of Scrabble, with each player borrowing bits of other anecdotes as a way to increase their own score, until we all run out of things to say.

☞︎ When you were younger, and your mother was still alive, your biggest joy in life was chess. As 'nerdy' as a chess hobby was, it was the one thing that was solely yours and your mother's. She would take you to play in both friendly and professional tournaments despite your aristocratic station and the backlash you received. After she died you only played against one person, the one person where the outcome of a match always ended in draws — Park Seonghwa. He was mysterious and arrogantly playful and while he irked you down to your core he was undoubtedly your only friend in the hell that was your current life.

Chrysalism ——— Choi Jongho

n. the amniotic tranquillity of being indoors during a thunderstorm, listening to waves of rain pattering against the roof like an argument upstairs, whose muffled words are unintelligible but whose crackling release of built-up tension you understand perfectly.

☞ Under the weight of a thunderstorm, with a headache threatening to drill into your head, Jongho provides you with a distraction from your work that leads the two of you to reminisce about the significant [ and not so significant ] memories you shared since the day you met — coincidently under a thunderstorm too.

Heartworm ——— Choi San

n. a relationship or friendship that you can’t get out of your head, which you thought had faded long ago but is still somehow alive and unfinished, like an abandoned campsite whose smouldering embers still have the power to start a forest fire.

☞ When you were younger, you knew you were one-hundred per cent in love with your best friend, Choi San. However, because he was also, in fact, your brother’s best friend, and you were a sixteen-year-old rebel adamant to never admit your feelings, you had to watch as he got his first girlfriend during a party Seonghwa had thrown for you. Now, years later and in the middle of college, you find yourself in a familiar setting: a party was thrown for you by your brother and Choi San looking as breathtaking as he always does.

600 special prompt for my lovely soul partner @san--shine

42: “Exactly how drunk was I?”

49: “Good morning, sunshine.”

Kenopsia ——— Jeong Yunho

n. the eerie, forlorn atmosphere of a place that’s usually bustling with people but is now abandoned and quiet —a school hallway in the evening, an unlit office on a weekend, vacant fairgrounds—an emotional afterimage that makes it seem not just empty but hyper-empty, with a total population in the negative, who are so conspicuously absent they glow like neon signs.

☞ Being ripped from your house, family and education because an evil bigot wanted a war was not something you had planned for. Being targeted by said evil blood purist because of your standing as a muggle-born was petrifying enough but when wizarding towns get attacked as well as muggle towns there's not much you can do to stop the terror growing in your heart. Visiting Yunho's family on a whim to find out there was nothing left is the last push for the two of you to finally express your feelings with one another.

Petrichor ——— Song Mingi

n. a pleasant smell that frequently accompanies the first rain after a long period of warm, dry weather.

☞ Before the rain started you and your mother had joked about not remembering what the rain smelt like anymore, since you were in the longest drought there had been for a couple of years. As the rain kept coming and electronics stopped working more and more it's become harder for a teenager to live her life [and considerably more boring too ] so you acted on the throwaway idea by your boyfriend to ditch study and run away for a date. Now that the rain doesn't stop you almost wonder if you were the one to jinx the world.

Ringlorn ——— Kim Hongjoong

adj. the wish that the modern world felt as epic as the one depicted in old stories and folktales—a place of tragedy and transcendence, of oaths and omens and fates, where everyday life felt like a quest for glory, a mythic bond with an ancient past, or a battle for survival against a clear enemy, rather than an open-ended parlor game where all the rules are made up and the points don’t matter.

☞︎ Sometimes when some people get bored they decided to change a conversation subject, try out a new hobby or simply switch song selections... Not you though. No, when you get bored you decide to raid your witch friend's hellish books and purposely summon the king of demons to satiate your curiosities. The kicker? You two actually get along a whole lot more than expected and soon random summons for stupid conversations become chaotic village pranks become a tangle of limbs and the possible restart of your undead heart.

Xeno ——— Jung Wooyoung

n. the smallest measurable unit of human connection, typically exchanged between passing strangers—a flirtatious glance, a sympathetic nod, a shared laugh about some odd coincidence—moments that are fleeting and random but still contain powerful emotional nutrients that can alleviate the symptoms of feeling alone.

☞ You had known him your entire life. You grew up together, sheltered from the world by palace walls. When Wooyoung was named a knight and left in charge of you, you couldn’t have been happier for you got to spend almost every day with your best friend. When you realised you loved him shortly after your eighteenth birthday - where you had done something so embarrassing as kissing him out of the blue - you decided you didn’t want to love another. And so, when the war declared upon your kingdom forces your father to utilise every last knight he has Wooyoung has to leave, and you figure he took your heart with him.

long overdue 300 special prompts for the lovely @acampos9

1. “When will I see you again?”

2. “You are the first thing on my mind, the last thought before sleep and, my truest love.”

[sometimeinjoon]

Slip

3.5k

01 - 02 - 03

Once a year, on your birthday, a veil between worlds open.

This year, they tell you they need to take you back soon, even though you were clear on that being four years into the future, still.

Your guardian steps out and tells you he’s staying a few nights so he could tutor you back into practicing magic like you did in the other dimension, but all you’re really doing is making out.

The people in the portal always just hand over gifts. Lots of them. Your adoptive parents, currently posing as humans, explained the situation at hand quite well: you were a queen-to-be being threatened by multiple enemies, so your people shove you into a different dimension until you’re strong enough to come back and rule. Oh, and kill all those motherfuckers once you return, too.

The chimera were human as human can be, minus the part where they practiced magic. The people in this dimension missed out on it, so really, this is the most ideal place to put their princess. Nothing can harm you here, for nothing is powerful enough. And if by any chance something does pose harm, they’re ready to fight for you.

The old guest room in your mother’s house is where the portal appears, and today, as much as you’d want to spend all your birthday festivities there, you’re due to stay with your dad during the weekends. Your chimera parents are laughably “divorced”, and they’re adamant about following that order since it would be a violation of royal command, apparently. Their files were specific and were set straight when they were briefed into pretending to be your parents. So here you are, all with fake last names, two different houses a 20 minute drive apart, them being divorced, all that. You’re supposed to be home schooled, but you’re really just home. Watching, reading, doing whatever it is you wanted. They said that when the time came, that time being your 30th birthday, you would be given a crash course training, and you’re going to be able to get back all your abilities from that one time thing. So really, that means you’re going to be dilly-dallying about until that time rolled around.

You excitedly open the bedroom door into the new dimension, all set up and ready for your party. It was a short and sweet celebration, but it sufficed. You saw familiar faces, and all of them treated you no less than the royalty that you are. Lots of food, lots of presents, lots of happy birthday, we wish you the best your highness. Once the whole thing was over it had only been 2 hours, and back into this world you go. It was precaution, so that you’re never in their realm long enough for the enemy to catch on.

As you bid farewell to everyone, your guardian accompanies you in crossing over, like he always does. He carries most of your gifts and books and this time, it’s no different, except, no gifts were around you when you left as they’ve apparently been poofed up into your dad’s house.

“The gifts are different this year,” he smiles. You thought back on the previous years, when they would present you with an iPhone that’s a generation advanced from the one currently being released, and a bunch of other luxurious material things.

“Different, like they’re actually valuables this time?” you jokingly ask, and he nods.

“Yes, since we’re taking you back soon, your training must begin soon as well,” he answers, and you fall silent. There must have been some sort of mistake, because you’ve turned 26 today, and they’re taking you back four years early? As fun as it was to be literally just lazing around, it scared you that you were supposed to learn everything you needed in a short period of time. What if you didn’t? What if you couldn’t kill the evil motherfuckers? What if you fail the people that have treated you like the savior they were expecting you to be?

Namjoon explains that you’ve got nothing to worry about, and that there was no mistake. It’s just that humans require vague time estimates, and 30 is the value they gave. He says you’re ready, and that he will be your personal trainer and guide throughout the entire thing.

As soon as you get to your dad’s house he smiles at Namjoon and sends you off into your room like he’s been here a million times before. Any normal father would have chased Namjoon down the block with a cleaver before he’s allowed a step up the stairs, much less into your room, but your father is not a normal father. He isn’t your father at all, but you’ve grown to love him to be.

Namjoon closes the door behind him once you get upstairs, the gifts already poised and arranged around waiting for you in your bedroom that’s apparently been renovated. Then, you notice the usual gifts: a TV, some fast food, movies, a new game console, and a bunch of other normal teenager things. They were accompanied by a very small amount of crystals and potions and books sitting by your table. You’ve figured that they still wanted to give you the usual gifts along with your relics, so you let it slide and instead just admire the brand new room you have.

“Do you like it?” Namjoon asks, looking around. The chimera redecorated while your party was going on to make it more suitable for training, Namjoon explains, and you’re left laughing a little.

“I love it, but I don’t understand how this room has been renovated to be more equipped for training! What’s a 40-inch TV got to do with anything?” You ask, and Namjoon waves you off, saying something about things coming together later.

You walls are painted a deep blue color and your curtains were now heavier and thicker. The bed was gigantic and soft as you sat down on it, pillows crowding the top half. The TV was directly in front of it, and really, holy shit, how was this room supposed to be for training?

Namjoon notices your frown and furrows his brows a little. “The bed will fit us as it is, but would you like it larger?” he asks. You stare at him a little and he’s very clueless as to why.

“The bed will fit us?” you repeat and he nods, and then he realizes your confusion as he hasn’t mentioned the fact that he’s staying over for a week for your training. And here, he’s staying here, in your house. In your room.

“Does dad know? I mean, you can magic up the guest bedroom to be your room, right? I’ll go ask dad if you can stay—,” you trail, but before you can reach the door Namjoon holds your arm and laughs.

“Your father knows about this whole thing, my lady. You do not need consent for me to be in here,” he reassures you, but you were terribly far from reassured. He says it’s part of the training for him to be in the same room as you, and you press no further. He’s your guardian, and he will do you no harm! Sure, he’s really hot and you might get flustered later on tonight, but your en suite bathroom is accessible enough to relieve yourself should you need to. Princess and all, you’re still a 26 year old accustomed to the human way, and the human way is that you get a little bothered when attractive guys are around you in the evening with no possibility of your parents trying to intervene.

Oh my god, princess, stop it, you think to yourself. In your daze, Namjoon just stood in front of you the whole time, patiently waiting for you to say something. He asks you if you’re alright and you nod at him, smiling.

The studying commences a little later, the sun barely starting to set when you started, but the room was almost pitch black without the lights because of the curtains the chimera have chosen for you. Namjoon’s running you through the basics, things you’ve read in your own time, and you’re not really listening to him. No, you were just staring at him like a woman deprived. You looked so funny and weird looking at him with just sheer desire in your eyes, and the funniest part? He’s already noticed, he’s just not saying anything.

“You know, you’re going to bore a hole through my face if you keep looking at me like that,” he says finally breaking the silence. You’re immediately flustered and you try to avoid his gaze, but he turns fully to face you, foregoing the lecture and instead starts staring at you as well. His cheek rests against his hand and he sighs after a few seconds.

“Quit it,” you say, face already burning hot. He blows air out of his nose in some form of a chuckle and leans in closer to you.

“Why? You wouldn’t have stopped if I didn’t call you out on it,” he says, face so so close to yours. You should be appalled that he’s acting this way towards you, but your mind is spinning and you can’t really form cohesive words right now. You couldn’t mouth the fuck off you wanted to playfully reply and the longer it took for you to try and compose yourself well enough to respond to Namjoon, the closer he got. He’s smiling wide, extremely white teeth staring straight at you. You want to wince at the sight.

He cups your cheek with his hand and with the other, conjures up some purple dust and taps it onto your lips.

“That should do it,” he smiles, content, and then he kisses you.

His lips were soft and as much as you wanted to brand your first kiss as innocent, this was far from it. Namjoon was hungry and you struggled to keep up with his intensity, both his hands now holding your face. You return his kisses willingly, and it takes about ten slow seconds of just plain making out before memories start to flood back into your head.

You’re now even more overwhelmed than you were about the kiss, and Namjoon holds you down firmly so you couldn’t move backwards. Breathing becomes difficult at this point, but you simply cannot break away from the kiss, not now, not while you’re remembering. It almost feels like Namjoon was trying to choke you out of breath, but he kept moving his lips against yours and now you’re overwhelmed with all the flashbacks, near passing out, and horny. What a whammy.

Then your dad walks in on the intense make out session and alas, the kiss is broken.

He sets the McDonald’s takeaway on the table and continuously swears to himself. He apologizes for disturbing, and explains that he did not expect that to happen until about the third day and so he did not bother knocking. He leaves in a panic and locks the door before he clicks it closed behind him.

“Did it work?” Namjoon asks, searching your eyes.  You don’t know what that’s supposed to mean so you don’t answer. Namjoon continues to try and talk to you, ignoring your obvious embarrassment over what had just happened, but he snaps you out of your trance when he softly says, “baby?”

You’re jostled upright from your slouched position on your seat. He sighs  heavily.

“That means the memories did not complete. Not when you’re surprised I called you baby,” he attempts a laugh, but he shakes his head instead.

“Sorry?” you say, and he smiles earnestly at you. It’s not your fault, really. Namjoon scolds himself about locking doors while you try to process just what the fuck was going on.

Namjoon’s a special someone, you’ve gathered that much. He was in every single one of the memory snippets you got, and he’s for sure important and dear to you in the other dimension if he kissed you like that so comfortably, so quickly. You’re not sure what to do and so you kiss his cheek as he thinks to himself, since hey, he’s probably your boyrfriend, and you’re exhilarated by that. He then smiles, and kisses your lips back. 

“Well, that made this whole thing harder, but you’re probably not going to be complaining about extended training,” he says, reaching for your dinner your dad brought upstairs at a bad time.

“Training? That was training?” you ask, again, confused. Namjoon nods, and smirks. The audacity, you thought. How dare he smirk at you after he’s just choke-kissed you.

“Yes, baby. We’re going to be doing a lot more kissing than we first needed to now.”

Wait, hold the fuck up. Kissing? Your training involves a lot of kissing? What in the fresh hell? It’s not like you wouldn’t want to kiss Namjoon repeatedly with the door locked, but you’re supposed to prepare to rule a whole kingdom and take down bad guys and you’re supposed to learn how to by kissing?

Namjoon holds your thigh and rubs his nose on your temple as he chows down on the burger he’s holding and asks you to do the same, and you comply. A comfortable silence ensues as dinner passes, but your mind quickly wandered off into what the rest of the night would be like now that you’ve been briefed on what was about to go down.

“We can do it one of two ways,” Namjoon starts, standing up from his chair by the desk. “We can do it slowly, or just smack it all down all at once.” he sits on the edge of the bed.

“I’m going to need you to explain,” you answer, turning your seat around to face him.

“I did a spell a while ago, and that was really the main procedure. It’s supposed to flood memories back very very quickly, granted the kiss remained a kiss until the process was over,” he clasps his hands together. “However, the kiss was broken. And we can’t use the powder again.”

The powder, yes, the purple sugary thing. You ask him why and he says it reacts to oxygen, something this realm has so so much of. You can’t use the powder until about a week later, as it’s left in your system.

And so now, you’re left with a choice of just continuously making out in sessions over the next few days, or having sex once every day to speed up the process a little bit.

You’re so surprised by how Namjoon said your options, and wow, what the hell? Is this a thing for your kind? Sex? Random casual frequent sex? You begin to wonder if Namjoon really was anyone special, or if it was just completely normal to kiss and fuck whoever. He reassures  you that he’s indeed someone special, but he’d rather let the memories explain as he’s not sure how you’d take things given that basic information scares the shit out of you.

He then proceeds to explain that chimera are, as you already knew, demons. Your lineage is from the god of lust, and so memories transfer via intimate touch. He repeats that they’re still basically human, just rearing from a lustful demon, and so partners and loyalty are very much a thing and that random necessary sex is nothing you should be concerned about. Only a person’s partner can have an effect on them, hence why Namjoon is the only one that can help you, and only he can give you back your powers.

You fall silent, and things aren’t really that hard to understand, it’s just that, what do you do? Fuck him now, or fuck him later? The kiss already got you going, so do you run the full marathon already?

No, you won’t, because that would shorten the amount of time before you’re “ready” and “fully recovered”, so you tell him you’d rather kiss. Actually, what you said was let’s fuck later, but hey, same thought. Namjoon nods and smiles approvingly.

The night is then taken slowly, you settling onto the bed cuddling into his side as you watch trash TV. It was around 9 pm when your dad knocks on your locked door. Namjoon goes to open it for him and oh dear, your dad shows up with alcohol and condoms. Namjoon laughs and takes them, and your dad says whatever you need, just ring him and he’ll be downstairs.

This is needlessly so fucking awkward, but it’s only because you’ve pretended to be human for so long. For your dad, it’s absolutely normal.

Namjoon sets the condoms down by the bedside table and he pops open a beer. He offers you one but you decline.

“Baby I know it’s weird and it seems urgent with how things are going, but trust me, we can take things as slow as you want, yeah?” He says, taking a sip from his can. “And the room’s sound proofed, if you’re worried about that too,” he smirks, and you smack his arm.

With the room being mentioned, you piece together the specific interior decoration going on. It was optimized for training, of course! It looks like a wonderful place to fuck. Dark, spacious, lots of room. In between the fucks you could chill out and play PS4 or watch TV.

After a little bit of thinking, you free yourself from Namjoon’s hold and take a sip out of his beer can. You set it down beside the condoms and straddle him, his hands welcoming you, setting themselves on your waist. You give him a quick peck and he chases after your lips once you pull away, but you don’t let him catch up.

“I want to remember a little bit more tonight,” you breathe, and he nods, taking your lips in his, a little softer than earlier. His hands snake up your sides as the kiss progresses, until one of them reach for your boob and you lean into his touch. Your hips start grinding down on him subconsciously, and then the tongue and the biting commences.

He’s aggressive with how he kisses, but he massages your breasts like they’re made of gelatin and  he could crush them if he went too hard. He’s starting to moan when a memory sparks up in your head and you press into his lips harder. He moans a little louder and you grind down on him a little more urgently and there you have it, a vivid memory.

You pull away a little breathless and he smiles when he asks you what you got. You realize how much slower this process is versus when it’s aided by the powder, but you’re happy you’ve recalled that Namjoon was not merely your boyfriend, no, he’s your soulmate. The one you’re destined to be, well, fucking for eternity as your descent demands. Better than being a descendant of the god of wrath, right? How do soulmates work for them? Do they hurt each other every chance they get? Those thoughts make you immediately grateful to be under the deadly sin that requires most intimacy.

“I don’t remember your tits being so big,” Namjoon says, interrupting your thinking. He reaches for the two and starts toying with them. “But then again, the last time I touched them was so long ago.”

Being immortal in the other realm had its perks, sure, but that meant you stopped growing at a certain age, and your age was 23. Having you transfer into a different dimension made you age beyond that, and luckily for you, that meant your boobs growing a lot bigger than they were.

“Change into your pajamas and get this bra off, babe,” he says, and you oblige. As soon as you get off of him, he realizes he’s so fucking hard that changing into his own pajamas were a struggle as they just tented right on his dick. As much as he wants to take it slow like you do, he’s gonna have a hard time keeping it in his pants.

[antiquecompass]

So I was HOPING to have 1 complete story and 2 complete ficlets done for @warriorgays birthday today. I don’t know why I plan on anything honestly bc whenever I do my family decides it’s time for massive Home Improvement Projects which take up my days off. I wanted to get SOMETHING up for Alex’s birthday though, so here’s a very long preview of the will-not-end superbowl fic:

A lot had changed in Babe Heffron’s life since 2004. His Philly family had lost a few members, but gained a ton between new babies, a hell of a bunch of in-laws, and groups of folks that just got adopted in along the way. In those years Bill had lost an entire leg, gained a desk job, finally convinced Fran to marry his foolish ass, and started raising three kids. Ralph was an actual <i>doctor</i> now, running one of the Thibodaux Medical Clinics just outside Baton Rouge. Maggie lived with Ralph and Sid in their own place in St. Boniface, working at the clinic there and forging her own path like usual.

 And Babe?

 Babe went from being a bartender to working an actual office job for Nixon Development. He had most weekends and holidays off and a 401k and an actual accountant to handle his taxes now. He was <i>married</i> for Christ’s sake. To a friggin’ <i>doctor</i>. In Louisiana of all places. If he could’ve gone back in time and told his teenage self he’d be settled down, far away from South Philly, with some Cajun doc he’d met during Mardi Gras, he probably would’ve punched himself. He definitely would’ve called Ron to take care of his delusional evil clone.

 And there was no way, in any of his wildest dreams, he could’ve predicted having Merl-Francis as his brother-in-law.

 He was pretty fucking proud of Shelton too. Boy had gone and become a Registered Nurse. They’d done so many study sessions in the middle of the night to past that certification test. They’d held a bake sale outside the clinic to raise the $500 fee just to take that fucking test.

 Merl-Francis got it done on the first try.

 So Babe definitely couldn’t complain about how his life had turned out since last February 2004. 2018, despite the hellscape that had become the world in general, hadn’t been too bad to him so far. He was cautiously optimistic about the year, after having gotten past the normal mourning days around Christmas. It was nearing his anniversary of meeting Gene and the Eagles were in the play-offs. So yeah, things were looking bright and shiny for Babe Heffron. Sure, he was waiting for Ralph to <i>finally<i> admit he was dating Maggie, but that was more fun to watch Spina struggle to come up with excuses for why he couldn’t hang out other than ‘I’m dating your little sister.’ It was amusing as hell.

 And then fucking New England has to fuck up the good year Babe had going for him. Honestly, he should’ve expected it from the Patriots.

 “You look like you’re fixing to punch the tv,” Eugene Sledge said as he looked up from his laptop. “Please don’t. It took Snafu three different trips to pick that one out.”

 “I had to compare the specs,” Merl-Francis said through a mouth of crab dip.

 Gene slapped him. “Close your mouth. Never could take you nowhere.”

 Merl-Francis glared at him. “We at home, Gene-Baptiste. Ain’t no one here not used to me.”

 “We still don’t want to see all that,” Gene said.

 None of the men present understood Babe’s pain. It was the fucking Patriots. Again. If only Ralph and Maggie were here, instead of being all responsible and working. They didn’t get it, this group of Saints fans. They didn’t <i>know</i>.

 “You don’t understand,” Babe said.

 Sledge shrugged and went back to working on his manuscript. “You don’t like the Patriots. A lot of people don’t. Andy’s probably the only one I know who does.”

 “No,” Babe said. “It’s a rematch of Thirty-Nine. I don’t know if I can take this shit again.” He stood up and went to the small kitchen medicine cabinet. “I need all the Tums.”

 Merl-Francis smirked at him. “You got such a weak constitution.”

 “Fuck you,” Babe said as he stepped over a sleeping Kipling.

 Babe’s phone started to ring on the coffee table. Gene reached for it and frowned as he looked at the screen.

 “What?” Babe asked as he shook a handful of Tums into his hand.

 “It’s your dad,” Gene said.

 “Well, answer it,” Babe said.

 “Good evening, Mr. Heffron,” Gene greeted as he put the phone on speaker.

 Joe Heffron sighed. “Gene, when will you just call me ‘dad’?”

 “Sorry, sir,” Gene said.

 His dad sighed again. “We’ll work on it. Where’s my boy? Eating a handful of antacids?”

 “Yes,” Gene said glancing over at Babe.

 Babe made a face at both of them. It wasn’t his fault his stomach didn’t like sports-event related stress.

 “Just like his mother,” Dad said. “Once he’s done choking down chalk, tell him to call me back. We need to know when he’s coming home.”

 “What now?” Babe asked.

 “There’s my boy. You’re coming home for the Super Bowl. You can’t celebrate it <i>there</i>.” Dad paused. “No offense, boys.”

 “None taken,” Gene said.

 “Bullshit,” Merl-Francis muttered.

 His father did have a point. There was just something about Philly fans being at home around other Philly fans. Look, he knew the reputation they had in the sports world. They were the most asshole of fans who did stupid shit like climb poles and flip over cars and throw batteries at opposing pitchers and fall into the penalty box to fight a professional hockey player and booed Santa Claus once almost fifty years ago. And sure things got so bad for a time there the Eagles Court had to be established to deal with all the shit happening at games, but that had been disbanded over fifteen years ago. Despite all that, there was nothing like being around that energy. Even with the actual game in Minneapolis, Babe had to admit that he couldn’t picture watching the game anywhere else but in his parents’ living room.

 “I don’t know if I can get the time off,” Babe admitted.

 Merl-Francis laughed. “You run that office. You can give yourself some days off. Take Gene with you, he needs a vacation.”

 “I have work,” Gene said.

 “Nope, you’ve got paperwork,” Merl-Francis said. “You don’t even practice much medicine anymore, running all the Thibodaux clinics. You got Anna, Renee, Sid, and Bryan to cover your shit. Take a vacation.”

 “You forgot Spina,” Babe said.

 “Ralph and Maggie conditionally asked for the time off if the Eagles made it to the Super Bowl,” Gene said. “I already approved their vacation.”

 Merl-Francis grinned from his sprawl on the couch. “They’ll be there, Mr. Heffron.”

 “I knew I could trust you, Merriell,” he said. “You and Eugene should come up as well. You’ve got to come see our city again.”

 Merl-Francis smiled like that had been his plan all along. “I wouldn’t miss it.”

 “Fuck,” Babe muttered as he threw another couple Tums into his mouth. He eyed the economy sized bottle of Excedrin as Merl-Francis started humming an off-tune version of <i>Fly Like An Eagle</i>. As he started on the second verse Babe reached for the bottle and reminded himself to pack it for the trip to Pennsport.

 <center>**********</center>

 There was a sold period of Babe’s life where he couldn’t go back to Philly. At first it was a question of safety. In the wake of Julian’s murder—and that’s what it was even if people still didn’t want to call it that—Babe was forbidden from setting foot in the city. He couldn’t explain that to his parents, didn’t want them to know everything about Ron Speirs’ more classified business dealings or the shit Babe sometimes got mired in to make an extra buck. And the more people who knew the truth, the more lives were at risk.

 After that issue got permanently resolved, Babe couldn’t return because of his own grief. It was funny, really. Babe’s grief was they excuse they used for so long while Julian’s killers were being hunted down, that even Babe forgot there was a world of truth to it. He didn’t know how deep the roots of his grief had grown, even after years, until he was asked to return to Pennsport and had an actual fucking panic attack.

 He couldn’t make himself get on a plane back then, so they drove, and honestly? Babe didn’t know what he did in his past lives to get Gene, but he was full of immense gratitude to whatever good deeds he accomplished back then.

 After overcoming that emotional hurdle, Babe made sure to visit at least twice a year. He’d just been there back in October to welcome the latest Guarnere into the world and hadn’t planned on returning again until May.

 Babe looked through the storage bins and the closet and realized he’d probably have to buy a winter coat while he was up there. The two he’d owned had already been claimed by Gene and Merl-Francis. Sledge, ever the Boy Scout, already had his own.

 “Well that’s a nice view,” Gene said.

 Babe laughed and wiggled his ass as he leaned over the bin. “At least there’s something you still like about me.”

 “I’m just with you for the life insurance and the tax break,” Gene said.

 “Figure out how you’re going to kill me yet?” Babe asked.

 “I figured with the amount of almond milk you drink I’ll just let the cyanide do its thing. Claim you must’ve got hold of some bitter almonds and made your own homemade glass of milky poison.”

 Babe looked up and had to laugh at the evil smirk on Gene’s face. “That’s horrifically brilliant.”

 Gene shrugged. “I needed something to do at the last board meeting.”

 Gene didn’t like having to play the businessman. He liked being a doctor, it was his calling, but they both knew how important it was to him to make sure lower-income and rural areas had access to decent health care clinics. It was a never-ending battle with local governments and the more religious members of the board who didn’t want to provide free contraceptives, pregnancy tests, or rides to the few Planned Parenthood clinics still in the state, but Gene always won. It was hard to argue with him when he got <i>that</i> look on his face and <i>that</i> tone in his voice.

 “Maybe you need this vacation,” Babe said.

 Gene nodded as he walked into their bedroom. “I was thinking about going down to five days a week too. Apparently there’s benefit in taking more than one day off a week.”

 Babe almost fell on his ass. “Did I just hear you speaking actual common sense?”

 “Fuck you,” Gene said with love.

 Babe grabbed an armful of sweaters and walked over to his open suitcase. “I know what this is about. It’s because you’re turning forty next year.”

 “Fuck you,” Gene repeated. He slipped his arms around Babe’s waist and rested his chin on his shoulder. “You got enough clothes there?”

 “Half of these are for you,” Babe said. He leaned back into Gene’s embrace and softly laughed. “And Merl-Francis. He’s going to have ten layers on. We’ll be able to roll his ass down the street.”

 Gene laughed in agreement. “Never could fatten that boy up.” His lips were warm when the pressed against Babe’s temple. “You happy?”

 It had been on those little traditions of theirs, to ask this, in the quiet times. The answers differed at times, but it was an honest question for an honest answer.

 “So much,” Babe said. He turned his head to meet Gene’s warm gaze. “So much,” he repeated.

 <center>**********</center>

 After the job that had cost both Bill and Joe Toye a leg a piece, they’d come back to Philly to stay. There had been some bullshit with the Department of Defense, even more with Veteran’s Affairs, and finally they’d just taken jobs with the Nixon Development Philadelphia office. Joe had been officially adopted by the Guarnere-Heffron-Julian-Spina clans. Fran and Bill had insisted Joe live with them, since their place had newly constructed ramps and handrails, and while it’d been a fight, Joe had finally given in.

 The Guarnere home was their first stop. Babe pulled their rental car up to the small strip of concrete that masqueraded as a driveway on the backend of the house. He had insisted on driving, knowing damn well his car full of backwoods country boys wouldn’t survive the trip from the airport without getting in at least three accidents. Babe smiled to himself as he got out of the car. St. Boniface was home, had been for a long time, but there was nothing like the old buildings and decorated front stoops of where he grew up. Green and white flags and Eagles logos decorated damn near everything as far as the eye could see.

 “Uncle Babe!”

 Babe braced himself as Juliana Guarnere came running down the steps at full speed.

 “You gonna dent the car,” Merl-Francis said from where he sat in the backseat, huddled up like he was about to trek the Antarctic. It wasn’t even that cold outside.

 Babe caught Juliana up in his arms and marveled at how tall she’d grown. Seven years old and already half her mother’s size. She had green and white hearts painted on her cheeks which clashed horribly with the faded orange and back Flyers t-shirt she wore.

 “Missed you, Julie,” he said, hugging her tight.

 She gave Babe another hug and then moved on to Gene before waving at Sledge. She frowned at Merl-Francis in the backseat.

 “Is he okay?”

 “He’s cold-blooded like his gator relatives. He’s just conserving his body heat,” Babe said.

 “I can hear you,” Merl-Francis said. He finally slid out of the car. “I assume there’s heat inside your house.”

 “Duh,” Juliana said. She grabbed Babe’s hand and tugged him towards the back door. “Come on! Uncle Joe’s making lunch. Uncle Ralph is supposed to be coming by too. Why didn’t he fly with you?”

 “He had his tickets long before we got ours,” Babe said.

 “’Cause he’s got more faith in the Eagles than you,” Juliana said.

 Babe laughed. “You sound like your grandmother.”

 Juliana laughed as they walked into the kitchen that smelled like ricotta and marinara. Joe Toye was balanced on a stool over the stove, slathering loaves of bread with butter.

 “Look at you all domestic and shit,” Babe said.

 Joe smirked at him and cleaned his hands on the bar towel resting on his shoulder. “I can’t cook much, but this? I’ve got it down.”

 “Smells good,” Gene said. He was looking at Joe with his doctor’s gaze, but probably only Babe and Merl-Francis knew it enough to tell. “Anything we can do to help?”

 “Yeah,” Joe said. “Get out of my kitchen. Go play with the kids. Henry’s teething, just so you know.”

 Juliana nodded. “It’s the worst.”

 “You weren’t exactly a ball of fun,” Joe said. He tugged on Juliana’s ponytail. “You going to stay here? Be my proper sous chef?”

 “Do I get first dibs on the sauce?” Juliana asked, a wicked grin on her face reminiscent of her father.

 “Of course,” Joe promised.

 “Okay,” Juliana said. She waved at Babe and Gene. “You know the way.”

 Gene led the other two out, but Babe lingered by the doorway.

 “Hey, Joe?” he said.

 “You about to start singing some Hendrix at me, Heffron?” Joe asked. “The baby wailing is enough noise.”

 Babe shook his head. Some things would never change. “Just saying, you look good.” He paused and added, “Asshole,” as a parting shot.

 “Watch your mouth,” Juliana yelled after him.

 Babe followed the sound of childish laughter to the living room. Bill Guarnere held court on the couch, little Henry is his lap sucking down a bottle and four-year-old Sofia laughing as Bill made funny faces at her, apparently more entertaining than the Bubble Guppies on the screen.

 Sledge was looking over all the family photographs on the wall, while Merl-Francis had claimed the chair closest to the heating vent. Gene was conspicuously absent.

 “Fran stole him,” Bill said.

 “Already?” Babe said. He held out his hands and took the baby and the bottle. “That’s got to be a record.”

 “We got a new big girl bed for Sofia and a canopy to go with it. The canopy is driving Fran up the wall.”

 “It’s has Elsa and Anna on it,” Sofia helpfully supplied.

 “And it lights up,” Bill said.

 “Jealous you don’t get one?” Babe asked. He shifted Henry in his arms, surprised how much he’d grown since the last time Babe had seen him, and tried not to make a face when he got spit up on.

 “Why do all your children do this to me?”

 Bill smiled, eyes tinged with memories from a lifetime together. “Maybe it’s just a Guarnere thing.”

[eyeofthewolfe]

A Few (well, a lot of) Random Moments from TLNM that were Very Important to me: (tons of spoilers)

When they introduced each ninja (especially with the styled face card thing), it was totally homage to the show and how they introduce each ninja. It’s the second best thing than a song intro.

The Weekend Whip?! As like a ringtone? Lloyd must be a Ninjago fan.

LLOYD’S FACE ON THE BUS WHEN HE LOOKED OUT THE WINDOW?? HIS SMILE JUST SLOWLY FADED AND THAT WAS WHEN MY HEART BROKE FIRST. TBH that one shot is one of the saddest in the whole movie.

Jay screaming during his intro and saying “CHARGE CHARGE CHARGE CHARGE CHAAAARRGGEE” proves that the only thing that changed was an accent, curly hair, and visible freckles.

Cole being sarcastic with the “serious tan line” matured his character about 2 years.

Jay complaining about the three hours and then his NOISE when Master Wu threw his book on the ground was perfection.

Kai’s mech had the best shots, period. The cinematography with the movements was incredibly pleasing to me.

“I would happily give up being a secret ninja if it meant not being the son of Garmadon.” At the end of the movie, he does give one of these up. Nice foreshadow. 

LLOYD’S HOOD!

LLOYD CHANGING HIS SHOES!!!!

His mom with the birthday cake?!! Hurt my heart. Like I’m sure people could hear it shatter in my seat.

Lloyd has a fish. Just wanna point that out.

Garmadon grabbing Lloyd’s dragon by the neck will never stop giving me chills. 

“Buh-bye!”

Garmadon’s happy little jump he does when he conquers Ninjago makes me feel a little proud of him.

The dramatic music when Lloyd appears with the Utlimate Weapon.

“The Ultimate Lamest Weapon.” “The Ultimate Ultimate Disappointment.”

The only thing that made the cat destroying the Ninja’s mechs sad was Lloyd’s reaction. As we find out later, he thinks that the cat actually killed them all. It makes that second showing so much more painful.

I swear the “what the heck?” Cole says when the laser points on his is actually Jay’s voice. A cute nod to the show, who can’t seem to voice those two correctly sometimes.

General Olivia is very good at finding bars.

Garmadon set up his party, moved the top of his volcano to the top of Ninjago Tower, had a conversation alone, with his general, and with his ex-wife all in the time it took Lloyd to float down to the ground. 

The ninja helping each other get over the wreckage as they chase after Master Wu.

“The Ultimate Omelette Weapon.”

The entire montage of them walking through the jungle. 

“Dope fluting Master Wu.”

When the ninja practice their Spinjitzu while singing “We’ve got the Power!” Kai dances with his arms, and Cole looks incredibly pleased. 

The whole fight between Garmadon and Wu is important and by far the best battle in the LCU to date.

Wu is ‘killed’ by a butterfly.

“Why is he telling us all of this now so far in our adventure?!” Because that is the Ninjago way, Jay.

When the ninja move from looking over the cliff to confront Garmadon, they all walk like their character. I encourage you to look that up and watch it again, it’s hilarious.

The scene where they were walking through the jungle is literally there for Ninjago fans.

Giving Garm and Wu actual ages

Pointing out that Garm looks younger than Wu

“Bitten by a snake”

He feels self-conscious about two extra arms

Kai not hesitating before saying something weird

The best one: making fun of Lloyd’s weak voice. DIRECT reference to the show where his voice is higher pitched. Kudos to Dave for having that joke played on his voice even though its really for the other Lloyd (sorry Jullian and Sam...but Lloyd is weak voiced)

“My sensors detect...”

“Why would it say possible? They would know, right?”

The ninja saying “Ninja-Go!” then rushing to their death while Lloyd says no is the show exactly.

“The only flood we will have is if Jay has another accident in his pants!”

Jay trying to act cool when Nya comes out of the tall grass

Zane “PEWWW PEW PEW!” when he rolls out

“I think I may be an adrenaline junkie.”

Kai carrying Cole like he’s a hero and Cole has his arms crossed while being carried. I think he even has his fist on his face.

Kai just flips him on the ground and there is my favorite Cole moment in the entire film.

Their ninja poses are precious.

The ninja dressing as the shark army is a perfect allusion to the show.

“NINJA STYLE BRUH!” Vincent, please say that as Kai. 

Lloyd not being able to throw and catch is the best thing they could have ever done to his character in the movie.

The look Garmadon gives his son when he is proud. Also, the first time he starts “smiling”

Lloyd throwing the piece and hitting Cole right in the face.

Lloyd’s scramble when he realizes he’s missing an arm.

“NO DAD NO PLEASE I NEED YOU HERE WITH ME RIGHT NOW” great line, dad’s begin to tear up everywhere

Garmadon’s small smile after he puts the arm back in

the driving joke when Lloyd floors it, everyone is cheering while the dad is just screaming

Lloyd letting his dad teach him even though he knows it all is so touching

“Is everyone okay?” “Not really..”

“I’m not blaming anyone, but if I see that goat again, we are going to have some words. And you can bet some of those words are going to have four letters...and I’m not talking about goat.” “what’s the first letter?”

“Oh look a light switch.”

“Do you have a bathroom I can use?” “No.”

The family that slays together stays together.

Young Garmadon looks like Movie Cole.

Garmadon’s smile and laugh he does after Koko disarms and knocks him down is my favorite Garmadon smile in the whole movie.

Baby Lloyd’s evil laugh makes me want to laugh but it’s more breathtakingly deep than it is humorous. Lloyd COULD of been evil....just ponder that thought. 

Garmadon drops his sword but holds onto the thing in his other..hand, i guess? What would that be? A baby bottle.

The “could have changed” montage made me tear up, while my dad thought Garmadon was hooking up with another Lego.

Garmadon crying fire the first time forced a tear out of my eye.

The Depth of Field for the focus during that intimate moment between Garm and Lloyd in front of the photos was so small that the only thing in focus was just their face. Even the back part of Lloyd’s hair was out of focus.

The cool trick they did with the screen when the ninja got their pieces.

Lloyd’s eyes when Garmadon said “Father and-”

Kai’s anger when Garmadon kicked Nya in the face. He literally wrecks him with his thighs.

“Oh Luh-Lloyd...I should have taught you how to catch.”

Cole says something like “WE DON’T EVEN HAVE THE PIECES!” and its super high pitched and its super adorable.

JAY AND NYA HUDDLING TOGETHER IS SO CUTE LIKE NYA HAD HER FACE PRESSED UP AGAINST JAY AND I WAS MURDERED IN MY SEAT

“Inner Peace?” no, the ninja literally had an ‘inner piece’. like the piece was inside of them, like Lloyd saw. The pun we all thought was funny on the first poster for the movie actually was the moral for the ninja.

Jay getting his powers is adorable because for a split second he was terrified

“Uh, guys- I can hear the dead!!!”

Master Wu wanted to act dead to make the ninja listen to him more. Brilliant.

THE DESTINY’S BOUNTY EVEN THOUGH IT GOT LIKE NO SCREEN TIME BUT IT’S GORGEOUS AND IT FLIES

When the ninja ran into the smoke after Kai used his “FUEGO!” The shot of their backs running in made me feel for a second like i was watching the actual show.

So? Jay is like a god compared to the others. Like, his power is a TON more powerful than the others. Cole, sure he is strong, but that small blue boy can fly and did you SEE what he did to those ships? Like Thor, this teenage insecure Lego just one upped you

Garmadon deserved to be eaten cuz he was throwing legos at Meowthra. How dare you.

Lloyd approaching the cat really put in perspective just how tiny a lego is. And the fact that that little lego is MOVING towards a REAL CAT

His hair when the cat breaths on him

Lloyd is a cat lover

This was the moment Dave must of cried in the studio. the second half of his monologue was so touching and emotional I began to cry as well. Well done Dave. 

Garmadon shielding his eyes from Lloyd because he doesn’t want to cry in front of his son. 

“Let me check your fingers and toes! You...still don’t have fingers and toes, which is good!” Also, Lloyd’s loving gaze during that moment because now he totally sees him mom differently.

Garmadon being pushed out of the group hug.

Lloyd playfully nudging Cole while playing videogames is adorable and Cole’s smile just melted my heart.

Lloyd being the Master of Life is so great, and i love it, but its also disappointing that he never got his green power

Meowthra became the city mascot

“Can we bring the cat?” “No!”

The style of the ending credits was really cool, just pointing that out

[bestfriendsonamission-blog1]

6 Month Update!

I know I’m a few weeks behind, but whats new?!?

This Spring/Summer has been quite the rollercoaster, I’m not exactly sure where to begin...since ya know, I haven’t been updating anything!! For starter, we will begin back in April; my birthday Month. Below is a photo of Holly and I. We went to the Melting Pot in Minneapolis for my Birthday Dinner. It was amazing - the fondue *see photos below*. 

Please note, this is not my favorite photo of myself, but I am trying to be more positive about unflattering photos. It’s more about the moment anyways. 

23 was a wonderful year. I couldn’t have asked for a more wonderful celebration. In addition to the Melting Pot, Holly surprised me with balloons and chocolate - WAITING AT THE TABLE when we arrived. Holly also bought me my  favorite perfume and a donut! And during the week, my roommate Sharissa surprised me with balloons and a vegan donut from Glam Dolls. I have two wonderful friends. Furthermore, I spent a wonderful week with Eddie. He spoiled me rotten. We went trap shooting (my FIRST time ever), saw a movie - had sex in a movie theater. SHHHHHH!!! Went to MOA, played mini golf, went out to dinner, had great birthday sex, and went trap shooting again. It was such a relaxing week, spent with the most wonderful of souls. For my birthday, Eddie bought me a 90 minute massage, a candle, chocolate, and the most precious card I have ever received. He said that he loved me in the card. Lastly, Erikka and Alexis took me to see Magic Men for the birthday. What a funny show! Definately good entertainment. 

Flash forward to May! Sharissa and I went to see Wicked at the Orpheum at Minneapolis.

 Preface: The Wizard of Oz is a classic in my family household, greatly due to my GG-Pa. He loved the Wizard of Oz and he definately would’ve loved Wicked AND that it was on Broadway. He was a New Yorker, ya know!  My GG-Pa, loved the story, simply because he believed that everyone has kindness in their hearts, no matter how evil. I am so grateful for the short period of time I had him in my life, he taught me so many valuable lessons that I will carry with me throughout my entire life. I feel like, although my GG-Pa is no longer with me, he was present during that show. 

What a beautiful story. I loved every minute of it and would definitely see it again. It was so much fun to dress up and treat myself to something, extraordinary!! I cannot wait to see Aladdin at the Orpheum in October with Sharissa, Alexis and Erikka. <3

Shortly, a few weeks later, Sharissa and I played hooky from work for 1hr on a Friday afternoon and went to Glam Doll Donuts in Minneapolis to get their one of a kind Mac & Cheese donut. I would highly recommend! 

Here is a cool picture of Holly and I. We went to the Largest Candy Store in MN. It was fucking huge. It was very overwhelming and I probably would not go back. Unless it’s for pie. Their pie smelled amazing. There were just too many people and annoying children and so much fucking candy. I’m not a vintage, classic, flavor extravagant, exotic and rare exported candy type of gal. But if you are, you should check it out. The sign was cool!

Let’s talk about Olive. One of my goals for this year was to achieve potty training. Well, that’s achieved!! Olive is such a wonderful support. It’s such a wonderful feeling to come home to a pet that loves you unconditionally. 

Other than the potty training, not much has changed wit her. She is still a complete badass - see image above. She loves playing at the dog park, playin’ with toys, eaten’ food, treats, and poop, and cuddlin’ with her Mama. Olive can shake, sit, catch, drop, roll over, lay down, speak, and stay. She is quite the catch!

In late May, I went back to Colorado to visit my sister and nephew for the first time since his birth in December! 

We didn’t do too much on this trip for tourism, other than visit Garden of the Gods. See images below. It was such a wonderful trip to spend time with family and bond with my sister and nephew. It was a trip full of laughs, food, and marijuana. I am so blessed that my sister came into my life. My nephew is such a (cliche) bundle of JOY!

WOW! I am just realizing how far behind I am on documenting my goals and adventures. This is a lot. 

In early June, Eddie and I went to a Twins Game at Target Field. I had an absolute blast. The game went into the 15th inning. We definitely got our moneys worth, that’s for sure! It was so fun to laugh, cuddle, eat nachos out of a baseball hat, attempt to caught foul balls (There was at least, AT LEAST, 20 foul balls during that particular game), and yell at the refs and teams. It was fun to go to the game with someone that actually appreciated baseball and could get into the game with me. I cannot wait to go again! We are trying to plan another time to go. Maybe in September... I cannot believe that we will have been dating for a year come September 8th!

A few weekends later, Eddie and I went to my cabin in Stockholm, Wisconsin TWICE in June.  It’s along Lake Pepin. If you haven’t ventured down to that area to complete the River Scenic Drive along the St. Croix, I would HIGHLY recommend you complete it ASAP. It is absolutely breathtaking in the summer and fall, plus it is only a 45 mins drive from the Twin Cities. As an added bonus, you can stop by the Stockholm Pie Shop. Its one of the 100 best restaurants in the United States. You heard that right, one of the one hundred best restaurants! Here are a few pictures I took from our weekend together.  See below. It was so amazing to have a *normal* date with Eddie. We cooked together, watched movies, went around Lake Pepin exploring the nearby cities, went for walks, ate pie, etc. I would classify it as he most normalized date we have ever had, just considering that he has a child and we usually are doing things around the cities; like baseball games. It was a nice reflection as to what could come if we ever choose to live together or go on trips in the future. I cannot wait to spend more time together in Stockholm!  

Here is a photo on me, stepping out of my comfort zone! See the swimsuit image below. I was super shy and mortified to wear this swimsuit in public for fear of looking fat or not fitting into my “mold of fashion”, but I wore it and I ROCKED it. This is a swimsuit piece that I never would’ve bought, but besides for the fact that I convinced myself that I need to step out of my comfort zone this year and try new things, which includes edgy clothing. I must admit, I still feel shy rockin’ that swimsuit in public, and this photo is somewhat posed, but in my opinion; this photo represents a girl who is taking a risk and loving what she is and what she has. I was to see her more often. 

Furthermore...haha. I got a new tattoo on my hip.  See the image below. I’m not in love with it, but I am getting there. I don’t feel like going into the long details of what happened, because then I get all worked up *arms flailing*, but long story short; the guy didn’t do exactly what I wanted him to do in terms of shading the pieces, but I have decided that I am going to let the piece heal and then determine my next steps of action. 

My current thoughts: I would like to have the bottom two leaves removed and potentially attempt to correct some shading to make it more gradual and then add more - different - flowers in the future to make it a huge piece. I am trying to let this *mistake* build character. Is it working? I’m not sure, ask me again in six months. I think this piece has potential, in many different aspects of life: healing, removal, character, adding, beauty. 

Lastly, I have been researching Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome. I was dx at the age of 15yrs old and placed on birth control because I wasn’t getting a regular period for over a year and when I did get my period it would be incredibly painful. Unfortunately, PCOS is a very rare disease and many women live with it.  And even more unfortunately, it is the number one leading cuase of infertility in women. At the age of 15 I didn’t care. I thought birth control was a magic pill. I thought it solved all my issues; I was getting a normal period again. I was fine, right? No! 

I had never once thought that PCOS could be the leading cause of my weight gain, until about 3 months ago when I watched an instgramers youtube vlog, which detailed her life long struggle with PCOS and weight loss. It was very eye opening, enough so much so  that I began to research PCOS day and night. In women with PCOS you can develop cysts on your ovaries, have irregular periods, have increased testosterone (all the reasons I was placed on birth control to begin with - to manage those symptoms), acne, weight gain, hair loss, mood swings, depression, and increased risk for diabetes and cervical cancer. Luckily I do not carry too many symptoms, but from my personal research I discovered that cutting out dairy (which I did back in October - fully) and gluten can really assist in managing symptoms of the syndrome. So, since mid-June I have been dairy, whey, soy, and gluten free. Obviously, this is incredibly difficult, but I really try to eat clean and eliminate those ingredients as much as possible. 

Furthermore, I even went to see a doctor. Luckily all my labs and ultrasounds came back positive, except for the A1C - which looks at you blood sugars for the last 3 months and my fasting blood sugar. Unfortunately, this syndrome has a genetic link to diabetes. I do not know anyone in my family that has this syndrome, but there is a possibility. So, going forward, after I complete one more lab, my PCP has determined that he is going to put me on metformin to assist in managing my insulin resistance, because I am on the boarder of being pre-diabetic. I am not thrilled about being on a long-term medication, but if it’s going to keep my insulin levels regulated and assist in my weight loss and overall healthy journey; then I am interested. At this time I am not diabetic or even pre-diabetic, but the medication will assist in helping me lose weight by managing my insulin - as my body cannot do it due to PCOS. Furthermore, I must take a daily multivitamin, Calcium Cirtate - as I don’t eat dairy, and a probiotic - digestion issues. In the future I may also take Fish Oil to assist with my omega-3, which can also assist with my insulin and blood sugar levels, but I would like my body to acclimate to the other medications and vitamins prior to introducing more. I really have high hopes for this medication, food lifestyle change, and clinical monitoring. (If you have any further questions about PCOS, my labs, blood test results, how to diagnose, etc. Please ask. That was an incredibly shortened version and really was stretched out over 2 months as I am still completing lab work) :)

Now, I just need to reintroduce exercise. I have decided that I am going to complete the 21 Day Fix exercise videos for the next 21 days. After I complete that, then I will decide what I need to do next. But for now, its the 21 day fix videos. I plan on waking up at 6:15am to complete the videos. Here are my before photos:

I am currently weighting in at 196.4lbs. This year I started at 209lbs!! My current measurements:

Waist: 37 inches

Hips/Butt: 46inches

Bust: 43 inches

R Arm: 15 inches

L Arm: 14inches

R Calf: 16.5 inches

L Calf: 16.5inches

R Thigh: 25 inches

L Thigh: 24.5 inches

Neck: 15inches

Fun fact: I started therapy! I love it an plan to continue going throughout the rest of the year. I do not plan on disclosing any personal information about my sessions on this page. 

Flashback to my goals - I have revised again:

-Continue to lose weight - goal 170lbs. I have lost 12.6lbs this year. I would like to weight 188lbs by the time Holly and I go to Italy. 

-Olive should be potty training by the end of the year - complete

-Stop biting and picking my nails - complete (Always on going)

-Save Money - ongoing. I would like to have $3000 in the personal saving by the end of the year. (All together, personal, HSA, paying for Italy, etc. I have saved, roughly $3000 this year)

- Eliminate Credit Card debt - I suck at this. It is back up. I am disappointed in myself. But I haven’t spent on it in over 1 month and have a plan to pay it off. I’m not worried. Although I am worried about that health bills I will accumulate from the doctors visits that I had these past two months. I am hoping the amount of money that I put in my HSA will cover the entire cost. 

-Read 12 books this year - HA! I will read as I fucking please. I don't like this goal. 

-Research grad schools - I don't feel ready for Grad School. I feel stuck. I want more time to determine what I would like to study. I want more field experience, I NEED more money. These are all things I can work on in the next year. My original original original goal was to apply for grad school in the fall of 2018, which is still achievable, soooooo lets start there. This subject stresses me out and it shouldn’t it; it should feel fun!

-New goal: drink more green tea with cinnamon - it’s good for my syndrome!

I can't remember any of my other goals.....I will need to look back and refresh this update once I have revisited my first post. Obviously they were not as important as the ones listed above...hahahaha!

Until next time....I’ll be back!

[weditchthemap]

Scientists Search Externally While Yogis Search Internally for Meaning, Truth, & Purpose

A Scientist (Western Trained Mind) Searches Externally for Meaning, Truth, & Purpose

Searching for Meaning Externally is Fundamentally Flawed and Destroying the Country

Many years of travel has taught me more about life and what really matters than my entire education from pre-school up through and including engineering graduate school. The western world, largely led by the US, devotes its energies on searching for answers through the only method our culture values, through the use of external lenses. Through the use of logic and reason scientists set out to explain (or try to) the world in which we live. Some may argue and say that we also study neurotransmitters and stress reduction techniques in the office, which counts as an inward look. Do not be confused—these are still very much external reductionist explanations for our infinitely unknowable world.

Our constant external search for truth and meaning is not bad in and of itself.  However this single-mindedness has led without the tools to search inwards for these same things (e.g. truth and meaning). We unconsciously refute lifestyles and claims that draw upon inward looking tools—we do so as a self-preservation defense mechanism against the great unknown as these ideas do not rely on science. America’s credo may as well be “If it cannot be measured it doesn’t matter!” This may sound trivial but it has had profound effects on our society. We have shunned inward “unmeasurable” realities in favor of constantly pursuing material truths. This has bled over from pure scientific inquiry into our everyday lives and I believe it is a primary source of our country’s depression, stress, suicide, obesity, gun violence, racism, and so many other issues that plague our nation. Are we spending our time measuring or mattering?

We Have Created a Society Where Money is on Top of Our Value System

Money has become the ultimate external goalpost and all lenses are focused on the almighty greenback.  When we aren’t sprinting for the end zone we distract ourselves watching mindless TV, playing stupid games, and using social media so that we do not have to actually confront who we are on the inside—because most of us in America are completely empty when you scratch away at our curated façade. Cultures that value looking within to develop “inner peace” (or what some call spirituality) do not suffer from the massive amounts of depression, suicide, gun violence, mass shootings, violent crimes, etc.

We are so detached with what actually matters that many of us take a personal interest in the lives of others simply because they have money (e.g. CEO ‘A’, basketball star ‘B’, movie actress ‘C’, etc.). We idolize athletes and celebrities—Not only is it trivial but I think it demonstrates a real deficit in our current culture. A young child can throw a ball into a hoop and perform in an elementary rendition of “Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat” but for some reason we think that people that do these thing well are worthy of praise and idolization? I’m really good at playing roller-coaster with my 3-year old niece, where are my endorsements? I understand that people enjoy various types of pastimes and that is all good and fine. As a side note: It wasn’t until very recently that athletes and actors were paid more than a lower-middle class wage. Our incessant search for all things external has led us to live a sheepish life where we value distracting entertainment above all else. Thus the money has flowed into these areas. Don’t even get me started on how individuals can make millions of dollars playing video games on YouTube.

Money Has Become Our Primary Motivator, Leaving Us Empty Inside

The people that actually matter (and I mean people trying to make the world a better place) go largely unnoticed. How many people have ever heard of Sophie Scholl, Thich Nhat Hanh, Liu Xiaobo, or W.E.B. Du Bois? Athletes and celebrities are measured in RBIs, # of Golden Globes, along with their ridiculous annual salaries. Americans actually spend their time consuming media about how these people spend their money, what diets they use, where they vacation, what they wear, and so on.

Now you can chastise me and say, “Scott, it’s a free country and we are lucky enough that people can choose how they want to spend their money”. I would counter that argument with, “Sure, and they can choose to spend it on the metal detectors at their children’s schools, pharmaceutical drugs keeping them alive, depression clinics, paying off their college debt, all while enjoying their measly 2 weeks of vacation a year”.

Consumption and Buying Brings Us Fleeting Pleasure But Happiness Comes from Within

I have worked with pharmaceutical executives with Harvard MBAs that earn a quarter million dollars a year—before their annual bonus. At the same time I have taught reading to inner city adults who have only a kindergarten reading level and who have never held a job. Would you believe me if I told you that the executives were more miserable than our adult learners? What if I told you they were more miserable than the people of Turkey, Myanmar, or Laos who earn in one year what these executives earn in a handful of hours? Well they are both true. It’s not that money is evil, it’s that if that is your aim in life you will miss EVERYTHING that actually matters!

For thousands of years we have known that happiness and purpose are found in helping others and being part of a community but we continue to ignore the wisdom of our elders—both living and long deceased—in favor of our trivial external pursuits of pleasure. 

Ask any mother who has given up a career to be a full-time mother and she’ll tell you that what really matters cannot be measured.

Pleasure vs Happiness

Let’s be clear, pleasure and happiness are not the same thing. Status, 2-Car Garage, Tesla, Omega, Apple, All-Inclusive, Business-Class, Shopping-Spree, Birthday Cake, Samsung—These are external things that bring people pleasure. None of them have ever brought a person happiness. People who constantly seek pleasure will never be happy—not only are they looking for the wrong thing but they are also using the wrong tools. External pursuits bring one pleasure, which is impermanent, never satisfying you long-term. 

America’s Propaganda Machine is Easily the Worst in the Developed World

Our culture routinely demonizes and punishes people who do not drink the proverbial “American Kool-Aid”. If one does not value the acquisition of wealth then that person will most likely go down in history as an Anti-American threat. Despite the constitution’s right to free speech our country punished countless individuals who just had a different value system. One period that comes to mind was during the 1940s and 50s—during McCarthyism several states passed laws enacting life imprisonment and the death penalty as punishments against individuals who didn’t agree that the acquisition of wealth was the most important thing in life. People spending their manicured lives looking outwards render their inner state devoid of any real substance, thus leaving their fragile psyche vulnerable to fear what they do not understand. McCarthyism was a prime example of just that. Pure fear because deep down, under their shell of external pursuits, they were uneasy, scared, and deeply empty.

The Hippie Counterculture movement of the 60s comprised of a community of individuals that valued peace, love, and equality above all else. Propaganda has led to portrayals of hippies having being lazy, unemployed, unwashed commies with long hair. Many hippies were in fact successful business owners, teachers, pilots, surgeons, chefs, nurses, and engineers. Remember history is always written by the ‘winners’. A culture that values money over inner-peace has trivialized an entire and deeply profound movement into a negative and fundamentally inaccurate stereotype.

In America Having Money is More Important Than How It Is Earned

It’s important to note that in America making money is what’s important, how you earned it is inconsequential. Thus we have created a society valuing professional basketball players more than underpaid health aides. We have a country where bright minds are encouraged to go into fields such as technology and finance while being deterred from paths leading to teaching social/public work. We have a culture where our youth idolizes uneducated thugs rapping about cars, sex, parties, and money. Our culture is very good at looking at the end game, but at what expense? We have no idea how to live in the now! This is why we kill people, have depression, ADHD, suicide, violence, etc…it’s because in real life the end game NEVER COMES. The only time we are able to live is NOW! But hey, who wants to hear about an educated performer singing about working hard, helping others, and enjoying a simple weekend helping inner-city at-risk youths learn to garden? Fuck that, Americans want cars, money, fame, mansions—because they think that is happiness. When will they learn happiness comes from how you live and not what you have/get. It makes me sad.

A Yogi (Eastern Trained Mind) Searches Internally for Truth/Purpose

“Happiness is like peeing in your pants. Everyone can see it, but only you can feel the warmth.”

How to Find Happiness (Stop Looking Outwards)

Science is a great tool but it is just that, a tool. It can answer very discrete and specific questions, but when one takes a purely scientific mind it forces that person to lay down so many other useful tools. A scientist is too busy trying to define emotions through quantifying neurotransmitters, various bioactivity, external stressors, etc. to develop internal searching tools.

I won’t go into depth on what searching internally means and what happiness is because honestly most people reading this are too fragile and unwilling to accept what I have say. Also, once one realizes that searching within is where one truly find contentment your journey will become fully your own. I will leave you with a few things to contemplate however.

Slow down, focus on your breath, help others, stop caring about what others value, and focus on how you feel about yourself. Stop trying to change the world (because you are probably fucking it up for someone else)—focus on trying to leave the planet no worse than when you entered it. Stop letting other people’s opinions influence your values. Question each of your values often and ask yourself “does this idea/practice make me a better person?” Lose the idea that money or education actually make you a better person—they will increase opportunities in life however. Your body is your vehicle on this ride we call life, treat it well and make it last. Be proud of the work you do. Do not idolize anybody—you should listen to their ideas and internalize the ones that speak to you. However you must test everything out yourself—though make sure you have the critical reasoning skills to do so (a nod to science). Beliefs are as steadfast and illogical as religion. Ideas on the other hand are like rivers—they won’t simply change direction but over time they can carve out new paths leading you in different directions.

Karma is Real!

Karma has been used by the west to mean all types of things, most of them being outright wrong. Karma simply means “action, work or dead” in a spiritual sense it can also represent the “principle of cause and effect where intent and actions of an individual (cause) influence the future of that individual (effect)”. I will give you examples of Karma in action:

In the two examples below two people, Sylvie and DonnieT, had almost the same day but live vastly different lives. See their Karma at work!

A person, we will call her Sylvie, walks into a store and greets the clerk, assists an elderly shopper, and then buys a loaf of bread for a homeless person on the way out.  She spends her free time working with sick animals and helping inner city adults learn to read. She always asks about other’s feelings and truly cares about people. Walking back from the store she finds a parking ticket on her car.

Sylvie has been calm and breathing slowly while engaging with the people around her all day. Her stress hormones are low and she feels a sense of belonging in the world. She finds joy in helping to reduce the suffering of those around her but knows her limits—she is only one person. She is happy with what she has and grateful for her friendships and community. She responds to the parking ticket by being frustrated but understands that she was at fault. She realizes the ticketing officer was just doing their job and she will try not to repeat the mistake again. She gets back in the car and tunes the radio to NPR as she looks forward to peaceful session of yoga this evening.

A person, we will call him DonnieT, walks into a store listening to his headphones while ignoring the clerk, he avoids the elderly shopper completely, and reprimands a homeless person on the way out.  He spends his free time playing golf at his exclusive resort and eating at expensive restaurants. He never asks about other’s feelings and only cares about himself. Walking back from the store he finds a parking ticket on his car.

DonnieT has been stressed and breathing shallowly and rapidly throughout the day. He has been avoiding all but essential people. His stress hormones are high and he feels a sense of superiority in the world, though always a bit on edge. He finds pleasure in indulging in luxury and ignores the suffering of those around him and fantasizes about having more power and money. He covets what he does not have and finds little value for friendships and community. He responds to the parking ticket by calling the ticketing officer a “f**king  idiot” and he refuses to accept any fault in the matter. He finds relief in that the officer is probably less educated and makes less money and DonnieT justifies this is why the officer wrote the ticket. He completely dismisses all responsibility and feels the law doesn’t apply because he doesn’t agree with the law. He gets back in the car and angrily dials his lawyer ready to fight the ticket and drives home agitated and stressed.

In this example you see how one’s Karma impacts one’s life.

A Key Walkaway:

Treat everyone (including animals) with kindness and compassion. It matters more than money!

And Ask Yourself: “Are you spending your time measuring or mattering?”

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