#being in ur twenties seemed so daunting

[tieflingtav]

seoul, you have my entire heart

[sweetlyocs]

sunshine

«part four» pairing: sam holland x reader / abusive ex! OC x reader  words: 2k warnings: hospitals, abusive relationship, anxiety attack, blood and bruising a/n: the fourth paarttt! this has taken a little bit, but we are saving all of you from seeing the details, for now... please be cautious if you haven’t read  the other chapters head over to the masterlist in my bio for them, or click here 

You could feel your phone buzzing in your hand, the contact names constantly appearing on your screen were giving you a headache. You knew that they were worried, you knew that they were scared. They needed answers but you weren’t prepared to give them up yet, you could barely register what was going on yourself. Your mind was whirling and it felt like your entire world was imploding on itself. Sighing softly, you looked out the window of Tom and Harrison’s apartment as you pulled up your texts with Sam,

Sam: where r u? ur freaking me out sunshine, u never came back.. yn: I had to leave.. I couldn’t stay u know that. I’m battered and bruised and bleeding bear.. Sam: u need to go to the hospital.. mum’s taking pads home and I’m coming to get u. yn: sam I want to be alone please, just leave me be. Sam: no way in hell. U faced this entire situation on ur own and it almost killed u. im not letting u do this alone, not any more. yn: I’m at Toms..

You stood in the kitchen with the kettle boiling away as you tried to process all of what had happened.. what if Sam had been seriously hurt? What if Tom hadn’t been able to be pulled off Jace? Why didn’t you leave him.. hell you were still wearing your dress. It was a shame that it had been ruined, you hadn’t felt this beautiful in a while.

It took Sam all of twenty minutes to reach you, he more than certainly had broken a few laws driving there but seeing him burst through that door, hair wild and looking like the weight of the world fell off his shoulders was all it took to bring you back to tears.

“I’m sorry..” was all you were able to let out as you fell into his arms.

“Shh..shhh… it’s okay, your okay. I got you. I’m so sorry I couldn’t protect you, I’m sorry you had to go through all of this alone..”

Seeing you like this broke Sam’s heart, he loved you. He loved you more than words could explain. You were always there for him, you always encouraged him to be his own person, make his own mistakes. You picked him up when he fell and would be his number one fan every time he soared.

Pulling back he stared deep into your eyes, smiling he as he gave you a kiss on your temple.

“Let’s get you out of that dress and into some different clothes, I’ve got a pair of your old dance shorts and I brought you one of my sweaters. We need to get you to a hospital okay, I need to know that your okay… physically anyway.”

The drive to the hospital was silent, you could feel Sam glancing at you from time to time. You didn’t know what to think.. you had been stuck in this situation for so long that while you felt free, free from Jace, free from being stuck in a never ending cycle but there was still so much that could go wrong. What if they left you when they found out all the horrible things that had actually happened to you? What if you were broken forever? Damaged goods that no one would ever want? What if the best that you could do was someone like Jace, he was perfect in every way to a lot of people. Sure you had an ever evolving career but what if you were so badly injured in so many ways that you couldn’t keep going…

Pulling up to a park at the hospital was daunting,

“They’re going to ask a lot of questions sunshine”

“I know…”

“They’re probably going to want you to report it too”

“I know Sam..”

“Are you ready?”

“Not in the slightest actually. I think I’m fine with all this superficial pain and bruising, I’ll probably be able to cover it up soon enough with some makeup. It’s worked before…”

Sam let out a deep sigh, he didn’t want you to be this façade anymore. He wanted you to let down your guard, he wanted you to feel safe enough to feel vulnerable around him. Slowly but surely you both got out of the car and began walking towards the entrance, it was beginning to get pretty late and by first glance at the emergency ward, it was actually pretty empty.

“Can I help you at all?” The voice of the triage nurse made you take a steep breathe in, you could feel your hands beginning to shake as you felt the urge to make a beeline towards the exit. You couldn’t do this, who did you think you are? Surely if you walk away, no. Run, run away, you could catch up with Jace.. a bit of grovelling and him getting the initial anger out and you’d be fine. You were insane to think that you could just say that you were done and it would be that.

“Hi, I want my friend to get checked out, her boyfriend, I mean, her ex kinda lost it when she tried to break up with him and I just want to make sure she’s okay..”

Sam’s voice sounded like he was yelling, you turned to face him with the look of complete and utter disbelief on your face. Was he insane! He just outed you to a complete stranger, and he didn’t break a sweat. The nurse softly turned her eyes towards you and briefly looked over the injuries that she could see, as she began typing away on her computer you pinched Sam’s arm, hard. As he whipped his head to you, as the two of you began to have a very silent but thundering screaming match between your eyes and expressions. You questioning him as to what the hell he was thinking and him to you about why the bloody hell you pinched him that hard! You had acrylics for christs sake and it hurt.

The nurse clearing her throat broke you out of your silent argument,

“I’m going to get them to take you straight through, we have private assessment rooms and that’s where a nurse is fully going to assess you okay darling. Now would you prefer a female or male nurse?”

“Female please, only if it isn’t too much hassle”

She sent you a quick and kind smile as she typed a few more things,

“Just head over to that door there and I’ll let you in”

Nodding your head, you and Sam began silently shuffling towards the door, you could hear displeased voices of other patients waiting to be seen, the chatter of nurses and beeping of machines. As the door let out a buzz, unlocking itself you reached out for Sam’s hand. Gripping it tightly you turned your head,

“Don’t you dare leave me, please.”

“Trust me sunshine, I’m not going anywhere.”

 Walking past the stations and patients lying in beds, you could feel yourself growing more and more anxious. It felt like every eye in the room turned to stare you down, at this stage Sam was probably losing all circulation to his hand but you couldn’t bring yourself to give a damn. You were scared, terrified even. What if the nurse didn’t believe you? What if they called the police and they told you that you were making it all up because Jace seemed like the perfect man. The perfect boyfriend. Why did this feel like the biggest mistake of your life…

Sam thanked the nurse as she left you two in the room, shutting the door to block out the rest of the ward, as she left she softly stated that the nurse would be with you soon and that she was off now, but to call out if you needed anything or felt worse for wear. You didn’t see her give Sam a soft motherly pat on his shoulder, or the eye watering smile that she sent in your direction as you lost yourself in your mind. You were too focused on not have a breakdown because of the weight of the situation.

“You need to sit down before you give yourself an anxiety attack or collapse from holding your breathe” Sam walked towards you as he willed his hands to stop shaking, you needed him to be strong. You needed him to be calm and collected so that if you lost your mind you had someone to pick up the pieces and help you put yourself back together. As you sat and waited on the bed, you looked at Sam. Really looked at him.

His body was tense, his eyes were hardened but when he looked at you all you could see was love and warmth. His hands would close in and out of fists and when he would close his eyes he would take deep and sometimes shaky breaths.

“Take a picture it lasts longer” Sam looked you at as the words left his lips and a smirk grew on his face. You let out a laugh and couldn’t stop yourself from smiling as you got a taste of the Sam you know. For the first time since you woke up you felt at complete and utter ease, it felt like you were normal, that you were you again. Just as you were going to reply the door opened,

“Hi yn, I’m Angela, your nurse. How you feeling?” She seemed nice, her voice was soft, but it still threw you. The question brought some uneasiness and weight back into the room. Here you were laughing and smiling when your throat was covered in a red and purple discolouration and your face had dried blood tracking down onto your neck.

“Fine. I’m fine…” You had never heard your voice so weak, it was easy to sense your fear. Sam came and sat on the bed with you, holding your hand as the nurse moved across the floor with all the supplies.

“So, what happened. I need to know exactly what went down for you to get all that bruising and blood, so I know how to treat it. Your safe here, it’s okay”

You held your eyes shut, willing yourself to disappear, praying that it would all just go away. Sam could feel you beginning to shake, your breathing was become uneven and flowing at a rapid pace. You were having a breakdown, you were terrified.

“yn if you don’t tell her she can’t help. She wants to help you sunshine…”

Sam was at a loss, he’d never seen you so terrified, how badly had Jace screwed you over?

“yn, look at me. Look at me honey.” Angela was standing in front of you now, her brow creasing and her movements slow, “you’re okay. I’m not going to hurt you, but I need to know what happened. You could be seriously hurt and you not saying anything could make it worse. I don’t have to know details, but we need to fix you up. This bruising is telling me that you’ve got a lot of swelling okay, and with it being at your throat there needs to be things that I check, things that I need to make sure aren’t damaged or at risk of causing more harm. And those cuts, the ones under all the blood, there’s a lot of bruising there too. I need to know what caused it so I can get an idea of how deep they are, how bad they are. I want you to get better so please, work with me here. I want to make sure that you’re going to be leaving here safe, I know the idea of the police and this being reported is scary for you but you getting better. You healing, that’s what’s important.. do you understand?”

Slowly you began opening your eyes, you were okay. Jace wasn’t here, but Sam was. You were safe with Sam. As you sat back and centred yourself, you realised.. you didn’t need to be afraid anymore, as long as you had someone who loved you, you would be okay.

“Okay” 

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