#being in an airport sounds like a level of hell made personally for me right now

[primordialwhale]

probable concussion ! at the tfp devotion ceremony !

[lolmanthecat]

Stage 2: Anger

*ping*

My phone complained.

"Thanks you having taken care of moving your things so fast. If later, before you leave, you'll want to talk in person about what happened it might be a good idea." read the message on it.

Curious, so the weight of starting a conversation lies with me? Newsflash: I don't want to talk. The desire to talk disappeared a month ago after your last hurl of insults.

So since you didn't say you want to talk should I understand that this isn't you wanting to talk? It is you just granting me the decision of making the first step? Oh thank you for your kindness. It was unnecessary.

I guess asserting your will isn't a thing you managed to learn in this life yet.

Maybe I shouldn't be so harsh on you since it took me 30 years to able to do it myself, and it is still hard to do, but for some reason I feel like I justified this type of behaviour way too many times. All times too many.

With my mother, with you, with many other people. Unable to say what's on their mind and therefore hiding it under either snide remarks or indirect requests. I am tired.

Just like them you managed to make me fear smiles. You made me see how insincere they are. How they are used to hide whatever the person is actually feeling. Leaving me guessing if everything is fine or if maybe there are some untold problems that will appear at the first stumble.

More than anything I asked to tone down the insults aimed only to hurt me unless you wanted to end things. I guess I was stupid to even bother to expect you to understand what I meant. You did it more than I should have accepted since early in the relationship. I guess it's on me? Or maybe you wanted to end things and therefore this is your wanted outcome? Maybe I'll never know.

I cannot even fathom an answer right now because of how angry this makes me.

Let me hope tomorrow I'll feel better.

****************************************************************

Apparently waking up angry and with a flight in a couple of hours is actually very bad. As if I wasn't already under enough stress. I guess I do owe her an answer of sorts. Leaving people without an answer is the one level I wouldn't like to stoop down to.

"oh don't worry. I don't want to talk." I type in my phone.

That does sound a tad aggressive. Morning aren't really my thing.

"so does that mean you don't want to talk? Guess we are on the same boat." I rewrite.

I actually managed to make it worse did I?

Ach. This will take a while.

...

"I have my flight in a couple of hours. I don't think I can manage to fit an appointment.

I don't know what you would want to talk about since in your last messages 2 months ago you wrote how you you are not searching for reconciliation and wanted to put some full stops in this relationship.

This is the full stop you asked for. I don't understand why would want to make it a semicolon."

Said the message I wrote.

Would you look at that. I am just as bad as you in being direct. Guess nobody grew up thanks to this relationship. Such a sad realization.

Maybe I gave up on being direct? Since it would have been a waste of time to be confrontational after this relationship has been shattered into pieces? Such a good excuse.

The incapability of saying things as they are and the desire to be the least confrontational possible unless I feel a complete disregard for my person. Nah, probably even in the case of disregard for my person I would forgive. Sigh... More growing up to do.

*send*

I guess it is done. Hopefully in the most simple way possible. Quite sad, but maybe it is peaceful enough to move forward and not drag each other in the mud for no reason. Time to put my things together and move towards the airport.

*ping*

The moment of truth is upon us.

"I guess you are right. I thought it was possible to have a vis-à-vis in a mature way, but probably it is not advisable anymore. Have safe travels."

Ah yes: Passive aggressiveness and snide remarks. You were not missed. Now hell ensues.

*****All Hell Breaks Loose*******

"Are you happy after you wrote these things? As mentioned above you are free. I don't know why this conversation is happening if getting away from me is the goal. When you will be able to communicate with less anger, I will be more willing to talk. As things stand now I am happy like this" Read my last message.

Oh look I got blocked. I guess you were just as immature as me in the end. We really did make a cute couple after all.

It is time to grow up.

How does one do it?

[chelleztjs18]

Lost in Assistance - Ch. 15

Elizabeth Olsen x Fem!Reader.

Summary: Y/n is a professional celebrity's personal assistant in Hollywood got hired with two years contract to be the assistant of the famous and talented Elizabeth Olsen / Lizzie by her manager. Both Y/n and Lizzie hate each other since day one, and they have mutual friend. One is as stubborn as the other, will Y/n stay when Lizzie gives attitudes and tries her best to make her quit before the contract ends?

Warning: fluff, angst, smut (in future chapters), swearing words ( +18 only)

I do not own any pictures, name, brand, song titles or anything that I used in this story.

All chapters

The next day has come. Lizzie slept in. The morning shades of light slip into Lizzie’s room and finally stir her up from her sleep. She opened her eyes looking around the room. She rubs her eyes and her face with both of her hands to wake herself up more. Then she remembered that today she is leaving for San Diego with you. Just the both of you, without Aubrey, and nobody else. Shortly after that, the second thing that came up in her mind was what happened last night between you two and it certainly brought her mood down even more. She got out of the bed with a groan and started to get ready. She turns on some music just to lift up her mood again.

She picked a song to start. After half a minute, she was struck by a realization that the song she picked was actually one of the songs in your playlist that you played before while driving her. The song is one of the songs that she secretly added to her playlist because she likes it. Of course it reminds her of you even more. After she realized, she quickly changed it to a different song. “What the hell!” She mumbled in frustration. It seems like the universe wants you to roam around in her mind and she’s not happy with it.

After Lizzie got ready, she packed everything she needed for the trip. She feels the need for some caffeine for her but too bad she’s out of coffee. So she decided to go out to get some coffee and some air just to kill some time as well until you arrive.

Weirdly, today she is in the mood for iced coffee. She thinks it is a good idea because she checked today’s weather will be warmer than usual. Then she remembers your usual coffee order and she instantly craves the taste of it so she ordered one for her, the SAME. EXACT. WAY with your order.

She actually likes the taste of the ice coffee but did she really order it just because she craves it or because it reminds her of you and she unconsciously wants to be reminded of you?

As she’s about to drive back, she gets a text from you. “Good morning Ms. Olsen, which coffee do you want me to bring today?”

She then replied to your text. “I’m okay. I already got coffee.” She put her phone down on the passenger seat and drove home.

An hour later, you arrived. Unlike usual, you didn’t get out of the car right away. You actually don’t know how you feel about this trip, especially after what happened last night. Just like Lizzie, after you got home last night you couldn’t get her out of your mind. You thought it would stop overnight but you were wrong. So wrong. As soon as you woke up, Lizzie, and what happened last night occupied your mind until this second. You really don’t know what is going on with you.

You took a deep breath, tried to get yourself together. You know it will be more awkward between you two than before but one thing you know for sure that you have a pinch of excitement for this trip, at least this time it will be Lizzie who will open the door for you. This little thought unconsciously brought your lips to a smile.

You came to the door and rang the bell. Just as you expected, Lizzie’s face showed up slowly as she opened the door. Your face’s muscles actually want to form a smile, your heart beats slowly but sure, raising faster but you managed to avoid it, not without difficulty but you did pretty good even though it came up with a hello in an awkward tone and a couple times of clearing your throat. “Hi Ms. Olsen.”

“Hi y/n.” She opens the door wider making space for you to come in. She tries to avoid eye contact as best as she can do. You come in, and she is standing near you awkwardly. She is standing with both of her hands in the back pocket of her short denim. You both were in silence for a few seconds until you decided to break the silence with a question.

“Uhm, are you okay--uhm I meant are you ready to go?” Your brain just can’t cooperate well with your mouth. You can handle being nervous around her, but being nervous in front of her and seeing her being nervous in front of you is a whole nother level for you to handle. It makes you think if she is nervous because of last night? Did she feel the same way the way you did? Or maybe you were wrong. Maybe she is not nervous right now, maybe she is actually still mad at you about last night.

Your thought stops as soon as her voice flows to your ear. “Uh yeah I am. These are the things I need to bring.” She pointed to her luggage then you put it in the car, this time Lizzie wants you to drive her car. Of course she stole a glance at you a couple times. After everything is ready, you get into the car. You see her from inside the car walking and getting into the passenger seat, with a large cup of ice coffee.

As you start driving and she puts the cup into the cup holder, you notice the description of her coffee order from the label and you can’t help yourself to let out a comment or more of like a tease. “Is that coffee mine or yours?” You gave a teasing smirk. “What y/n?!” She answered defensively. She actually heard your question the first time. She just pretends she didn’t so she can buy herself some time to curse herself internally for letting the cup visible for you and also to find an excuse to answer you.

“That coffee, is that mine or yours? You pointed to it and gave her another teasing smirk. “Oh it’s mine of course, why would I get you a coffee?” Again, Lizzie answered defensively yet ended in a cold flat tone hoping you won’t talk about it any further but too bad, you still want to talk about it.

“Then, why is the coffee order exactly the same as how I like it? Did you order it that way? I thought you didn't like it last time?” Your questions are no longer a teasing, you are actually curious about her and her coffee order.

Feeling cornered with a bunch of your questions at once, she starts to panic, becoming irritated  that forcing her to answer you with the fastest made up answer she can think of. She tucked her hair to the back of her ear, looking at you as she answered. “Seriously? y/n, why does it even matter? I went to get coffee today at Starbucks nearby and I crave some ice coffee but I didn't know which one is a good one, so I asked the barista to make me some good iced coffee. There! Are you happy now with my answer?” She let out a harsh breath. Looking very upset.

Unbeknownst to her, she would regret the answer she made up. “Oh really? Oh, It was probably Emma.” You answered nonchalantly. “I’m sorry, what? Emma? Who is Emma?” Lizzie asked with a huge confusion. She thinks there’s no way her answer that she made up coincidently connected to something or someone that you know.

“Emma, the barista you ordered the coffee from? I’m pretty sure that you went to the one I go most of the time, and Emma works there. She’s the only barista there who remembers exactly my order. Sometimes when I come in there, she even already makes one ready. I guess it’s because I always come at the same time” You smiled when you told Lizzie about Emma.

“Oh really? So why don’t you take her out for a date or something then?” Lizzie didn’t realize her sarcastic tone on her comment. “I’m sorry, what? Why should I take her on a date?” Surprised and confused with her sarcastic remarks, you turn your head quickly to her then back to the road.

“It sounds like she likes you. She remembers your complicated coffee order, and even makes it before you get there to order. She wouldn’t be like that if she didn't have a crush on you. And you were smiling when you were talking about her. I’m just saying.” Lizzie rambled in bitterness and she couldn’t help herself to pout, and again she didn't realize it. You laughed a little at her theory. “You are funny. She’s a barista, she makes coffee all the time, it’s her job.” You shake your head.

“Well, it’s either she has a crush on you or you are a very predictable boring person who always orders the same things all the time.” She answered in a mocking tone as she looked at you with an unamused expression. “Hey! I’m not a boring person. So based on your theory, does it mean Aubrey has a crush on me too? Because she remembered my coffee order when she bought me a coffee at the airport. Remember?” You joked about it but it actually hits Lizzie.

After she realized what you just said and remembered who actually ordered your coffee at the airport, she instantly jab you with a retort. “Y/n, can we stop talking about this stupid coffee order conversation, seriously!” She laid back to the seat, turned her head and looked out the window as she crossed her arms in front of her chest.

“Okay! Okay! Geez, you don’t have to yell at me like that.” Your eyebrows furrowed, surprised and confused with why the attitude all of a sudden. After a few seconds of silence, you came to realize something. “Wait, how do you know I date girls”

“Uh- I don’t. I was just making a random comment about it.” She didn’t tell the truth again, but this time was to cover Aubrey’s back for telling her about your ex-girlfriend. And all of a sudden she turns her head to you as she asked you. “Do you?”

“Yes, I do but ---” Your phone rings and cuts you before you ask further. Lizzie was relieved that your phone rang. The call is from Jane. “Hi y/n, I know you are driving with Lizzie now but can you check your email asap please. It’s from the hotel in San Diego and it’s important.”

“Okay Jane, I will try to pull over to check it. Thank you.” You hung up the phone and pulled over to check your email. “Sh*t” That’s the only word that came out from you after you read the email.

“Y/n, what was the swearing for? What did Jane say?” Lizzie asked in a concerned tone. “I got an email from the hotel saying that they are closed for the public today and the next few days because two politicians are coming there and staying there. So they cancel all check-ins from today until the next few days.” You explained as your face showed that you are thinking of a solution.

“What?! So where are we going to stay the night? What about some other Marvel casts that are staying at the same hotel?” Panic sounds clearly on Lizzie’s tone. “Well, I guess they allowed the guests that already checked-in or stayed a few days before to stay, of course they won’t kick them out, so they canceled the incoming reservations. I don’t even know that they can do stuff like this at the last minute.” You exhale harshly.

“Oh my God. Y/n, you have to find another hotel for me.” Lizzie said in a stern voice. “I will Ms. Olsen, but I can’t do it here. We have to go somewhere and sit, so I can book us another hotel.”

You both decided to go to a restaurant that you have made sure that it is safe for Lizzie. That’s not really noticeable by the paparazzi. You were guided to your table. Not too long after you took a seat, your phone rang so you decided to answer it outside.

After a few minutes on a phone call, you came back to the table and you saw that Lizzie already ordered the drinks for both of you. To your surprise you noticed that she ordered unsweetened black iced tea for you with no lemon.

“Wow! Did you order this for me?” You asked in amazement as you took a few big gulps of your iced tea. “Huumm” She hummed to answer your question as she checking out the menu.

“How do you know I love iced tea?” You continued drinking your iced tea. She quickly glanced at you and saw you smiled on your straw that’s still on your lips and she continued checking out the menu.

“I told you, you are a boring person who always orders the same thing. You always order iced tea only if it’s freshly brewed, and not from the fountain machine.” Lizzie answered coldly with her eyes stuck to the menu obviously she doesn’t want to make eye contact with you talking about this.

You squint your eyes, staring at her. You don’t know what to say, you don’t know what’s going on. You don’t know why she even pays attention to that kind of detail but then you think, she’s probably right about you always ordering the same thing and she just happened to have good memories.

“Y/n, if you are staring at me because I ordered your iced tea, I will ask the waiter to take your ice tea back so you can order another drink and stop making a big deal about it.” She talked in a very stern annoyed tone to cover her awkwardness and embarrassment after she realized she shouldn’t have done what she did. 

She is mad at herself and confused at the same time about why she would remember things about you, things that are not important for her and to make matters worse, why would she care and order that iced tea for you. It’s just an iced tea for crying out loud. Why do you have to make a big deal about it? 

Then she remembers her “theory” about Emma that she told you earlier. That upsets her. Apparently that theory doesn’t apply to her. Well that’s what she thinks. She knows for sure she doesn’t have any crush nor feelings towards you. She ordered the iced tea for you simply just to save some time, right?

But that smile of yours, your excited tone when you find out she remembers that you like ice tea internally makes her want to smile back are what bothers her and upset her so much more. Seeing you happy unconsciously makes her happy. The more she thinks about it, the more she tries to convince herself that it’s normal to feel happy when seeing you happy, just like everybody else. She indeed wished she didn’t order your iced tea so she wouldn’t have to deal with this puzzle of emotions.

“Okay okay, I’m good, don’t take my ice tea.” Your playful answer finally brought her back out from her thoughts. “Then, I think you should start to find and book us a new hotel now.” She commanded, but this time her annoyed gaze searched for your eyes as she slightly tilted her head. “Okay, I will. Stop looking at me like that please. It’s scary.” You teased her. She rolled her eyes, tried to hide a small smile formed on her face from you.

_____

After an hour, you still haven’t found any hotel. “It’s so hard to find it. A lot of hotels are full because people are coming and staying for the Comic Con. AirBnB rental house is hard to find as well.”

Lizzie pinched the bridge of her nose, stressed out. But a light of hope came. You found a hotel. “Oh wait, There is this one hotel. It’s the only one that is still available.” You startled her with your sudden expression in your tone..

“Well book it y/n! What are you waiting for?” She groaned in irritation. “But we have a problem.” Your face and tones show a disappointment. “What? What’s the problem?” Lizzie asked with impatience.

“They only have one room, with one queen bed.” You answered.

Ch. 16

A/N:  Hello my favorite people! I'm back! :D So in this chapter about the hotel problem I don't know if a hotel would actually do that kind of stuff but I had to make the hotel cancel the reservation so I can go on with the story. Again, it's all based on my imagination. lol. Also, I don't know much about Comic Con, so pardon me in advance if what I wrote and what I will write about Comic Con is not accurate at all. I hope you like this chapter especially after the excitement from chapter 14's tension. haha. Again, thank you for reading the story this far.

Taglist: @madamevirgo , @musicinourlips​ , @unstable-sapphic-hoe​ , @fanboy7794​ , @chloe7076​ , @b0mbdotc0m​ , @trikruismybitch​ , @ichala​ , @californianwhiterabbit​ , @silver-lotus​ , @imfuckinggenius​ , @sxfwap​ , @chaekhan​ , @daenerys713​ , @emptysince18x​ , @srtamercurio​ , @stupidsapphicsstuff​ , @pattypavo​ , @selfwrotevision​ (Let me know if you want to be added in the tag list).

[mystic-sky]

This is just a request, but do you think you can write something short about gojo meeting his s/o who is a poc and how he’d react to her curly hair 🥺👉🏾👈🏾 the fandom is still pretty new so there’s not a lot of poc drabbles out there if any at all.

Here you go bby, I hope you enjoy 💕✨

Summary: An AU where you’re a sorcerest whose stationed in Japan due to the National Sorcerer Exchange Program I just made up lol. Even though it’s your first encounter Satoru is a big flirt, as usual✨💘

Word count: 1.7k

It was annoying, being one of the few special grade sorcerers based in Tokyo. Satoru Gojo often wished he could duplicate himself at least three or four times, just to reduce some of the workload stress he had. The older he got, the more he wished he wasn’t the strongest- and that’s a pretty surprising statement on his end.

He felt he couldn’t catch a break. Between special grade work, his students and now looking after Yuji Itadori, who hysterically swallowed a special grade object, he had a lot on his plate.

It was hardly a burden for him. He only wished he could be in multiple places at once. This way, he could make sure the higher ups wouldn’t mess with his students, who meant so much to him.

In sight of the increased special grade activity in Japan and several other countries, the first ever Sorcerer Exchange program was implemented by higher ups across the world. It would ensure that special and first grade sorcerers were evenly spread out and or placed in regions that needed special attention. Satoru wasn’t particularly fond of anything the higher ups did, but this idea wasn’t so bad.

“A government funded, international sorcerer exchange program,” Yaga informs Satoru, who sits across from him, idly drinking his tea.

“And how does this work exactly?” Satoru raises a brow at Yaga before dropping cubes of sugar into his cup, stirring loudly.

“For 6 month spans, high level sorcerers who applied to the exchange will be stationed in different countries to regulate curse activity.”

“Sounds like it pays more. Nanamin might like that.”

“It does, depending on your skill level.” Yaga sits back in his seat. “We’ve already received a few sorcerers from America, Africa, China, Russia-”

“All special grade?” Satoru interjects.

“Currently the exchange program only allows special and first grade sorcerers. Considering the high levels of cursed energy around the world this year, it would be best if we avoided any casualties by placing inexperienced sorcerers in the wrong places.”

“That reminds me. You’re prohibited from participating, considering we’re a red area. Until cursed activity improves here you won’t be allowed to participate.”

“Aww c’mon, you guys suck.” Satoru cocks his head back, sighing loudly.

He already traveled a lot for special grade missions but never for more than a few days. Now there was a whole six-month program and he wasn’t allowed to participate in it? Then again, he couldn’t leave Yuji here with the possibility of the higher ups trying to hurt him again. He promised himself he would protect all of his students.

“There are several meetings I must attend tomorrow and I’d like for you to be there. Don’t be late.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is that all you wanted to talk about?” Satoru is already up and gripping the handle on the office door.

“I’ve also decided to assign a co-teacher to your first years, for your shorter stationed trips every now and then. She’s an extremely talented special grade from the exchange program. So you needn’t worry of a repeat of the detention center incident with Yuji.”

He had already swung the door open, towering above your body in the door frame. Your nose is barely touching his jacket, and hand almost touching his chest as you were attempting to knock. You take a step back, a bit startled.

“Oh! I’m sorry, I tried to knock,” you say, looking up at the blindfolded man in front of you. “I’m looking for Masamichi Yaga?”

Satoru is startled by your flawless Japanese, considering you’re clearly not of Japanese descent. He took note of your tan skin and big, curly hair that was pinned back in certain spots to display your face.

What a cutie.

“No, I’m Satoru Gojo. Principal Yaga’s the one sitting behind me.” He’s not entirely surprised by your appearance, considering he’s traveled all over the world to fight curses. “And you are?”

You almost think he’s flirting, considering how smooth the question was. Also, you’re now recognizing who he is, cheeks reddening a bit.

“I’m (Full Name). You’re the special grade I’m going to be subbing with for the first years! I’ve heard great things!” You politely bow a bit.

“I know.” His grin large and cocky as he steps out the way, allowing you to walk in. “No need to be so formal though.”

You’re slightly put off by his attitude, but principal Yaga interjects quickly.

“(Last Name), come in. I’ve been awaiting your arrival. It’s a pleasure to finally meet you.” Yaga is on his feet now, bowing towards you.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you too. I’m excited to work with you all.” You say as he motions you to sit and have some tea.

Satoru has found a reason to stay in the room, plopping down beside you and taking up his tea he had previously abandoned.

“Thanks for sending Ichiji to the airport to help with my belongings. I brought so much stuff, I hope it wasn’t too much for him.” You brain flashes back to Ichiji struggling to hold all of your luggage outside the baggage claim.

“Pffft, feel free to call on him whenever you want. That’s what he’s here for.” Satoru assures you, flashing you a toothy grin. You get the feeling that he probably made Ichiji’s job a living hell.

“I must say, Ms. (Last Name), your Japanese is remarkable. How did you become so fluent?” Yaga asks, filling your cup.

“I’m flattered. I taught myself what I could before attending (insert random ass college name in Japan) University. I’ve always admired Japanese culture so I studied it pretty hard. I can also speak (Native language, if you have one) and (two other languages of your choosing).”

“Wow, your Japanese is better than most locals.” Satoru chuckled. “And you’re pretty too. Lucky me.”

You shifted in place on the sofa. The most powerful sorcerer known to man was sitting beside you and he was complimenting you.

“Thank you,” you say loosely, picking up your teacup.

“Ahem,” Yaga interrupts, earning a tiny snort from Satoru.

“He hates it when I flirt.” Satoru whispers as he leans over towards you. Your face feels a bit hot, and you decide it’s from the steam of the tea in your face and not the handsome man leaning a bit too close to you. You set the cup down after the lightest sip.

“I hate to get down to business so soon Ms. (Last Name), but I’d like for you to get settled in as soon as possible. I’ve mapped out a few assignments for you this week. This is your first.” He slides the first report across the table.

“There have been several reports of abnormal cursed energy in Shinjuku City. It’s likely a special grade. I’d like for you to get to the bottom of it. It shouldn’t be a problem, considering your level of expertise. I’ve forwarded the documents to you as well.” The glint in his glasses makes you chuckle a bit. You flip through the report briefly.

“I skimmed this one on the flight. Whatever it is,” you begin, taking out your phone, “seems to be luring children. This corresponds with the rise in missing childrens’ cases I read about in Shinjuku.”

You place the article on your phone down on the table for principal Yaga to read. You liked to do your own research on locals news to see if curses had any sort of correspondence with a certain area’s events.

“You think a curse is kidnapping children?” Satoru suggests.

“It’s just a hunch. It’s nothing I haven’t encountered before.” You bite the nail on your thumb, realizing the inevitable.

“Unfortunately, if I’m correct, those children most likely aren’t alive.”

You stand up, firmly.

“I trust you’ll take care of it then,” Yaga hands your device towards you.

“Most definitely,” you look at your watch. “And I’ll be done before dinner.”

You offer the principal a smile before you slip on your trench coat, eager to take on your first mission.

“By all means, it can wait until the morning after you’ve rested.” Yaga persists.

“Nope! Not when children are potentially involved. I can’t risk it.” You straighten your clothes, and bow once more. “I’ll report back soon.”

“(Name) doesn’t let jet lag stop her from doing her job. What an admirable woman.” Satoru cooed.

“Well, Gojo-san, it was a pleasure meeting you.” You begin to wave but Satoru is on his feet, and right behind you, making you stumble back again.

“Oh no, I’m coming with you.” He grins. “I’ve gotta see what the most powerful special grade sorceress is capable of in person.”

While you had heard of your own nickname before, you hated when people called you that. You tried your best to be humble about it. There’s always new ways to improve your cursed technique, even if you don’t know how yet.

“So you do know who I am,” you shifted your stance, hands on your hips.

“I’ve heard a few things,” he says slyly. “But I’d like to see them first hand.”

“Hmph, alright then. I suppose you can show me around Shinjuku. It’s been a while since I’ve been there.” You flip your hair, making your way towards the door.

“And it’s your lucky day, I feel like showing off.” You say, peaking over your shoulder.

“Great, it’s a date.”

You stop dead in your tracks, just two steps out of Yaga’s office.

“What?”

“Even after four years of university in Japan? I said, it’s a date.”

The door shuts behind him, and his grin is even more smug.

The audacity.

“You’re not going on a date with me unless you ask me properly.” You roll your eyes, swaying down the steps. So this was Satoru Gojo.

“C’mon sweetheart, we’d be iconic as hell— the strongest man and the strongest woman? We’d be unstoppable.”

“I don’t even know what you look like underneath that thing.” You say, motioning towards his blindfold.

Oh , but you lied. You’d seen his Instagram.

He was a selfie fanatic. That and a cake fiend.

“Wanna see right now? Will it change your mind?” His voice low and steady behind you.

“I’ve got a curse to excorcise.” You roll your eyes, speeding up ahead of him. It didn’t help much considering his legs were so long.

“You know you wanna,” he bends down, voice deep in your ear.

“I’m not listening~

You’re far ahead of him now, attempting to hide the heat on your face and hearing deep chuckles echo behind you.

“Ah, this is going to be the best six months ever!” He laughs heartily.

A small smile crept on your lips.

Maybe it would be.

[dr-spencer-reids-queen]

Extreme Aggressor: Part One

Pairing: Eventual Spencer Reid x Reader

Word Count: 2.3k

Warnings: canon violence, canon language, woman gets killed in an alley, talk of strangling and stabbing a woman

Summary: Jason Gideon is called back from a six-month leave from the Behavioral Analysis Unit to profile a killer. Meanwhile, the team flies across the country to Seattle when another young woman goes missing at the hands of "The Seattle Strangler," another serial killer.

Author’s Note: Here is it finally! After hard work, it is finally ready for your viewing pleasure! Please, feedback is always appreciated so let me know what you like about it and what you didn’t! 

I do not own anything from Criminal Minds. All credit goes to their respective owners. If there is any warnings that exceed the normal death/kills from the show, I will list them. If you’ve seen the show, then it’s the same level of angst unless otherwise stated.

So without further ado, please enjoy!

"The belief in a supernatural source of evil is not necessary. Men alone are quite capable of every wickedness." - Joseph Conrad

Not everyone knows this but each and every person has an aura around their body as if it hovers to remind people like you that they have things to hide. Not many people can see and do what you can do, but then again, you don’t want them to. All your life, you have been able to connect with people on a much deeper level than the average human. Those auras contain energies that you are able to connect with, therefore see more than what the normal eye can.

This ability that you have has gotten you in places you should never be. It’s gotten you where another dare not to venture. It’s allowed you to see the true intention and personality of a person no matter how high and thick their walls may be. Now, some people are better at hiding their true selves than others, but you always manage to figure out what makes them tick.

Your abilities have captured the attention of a really great friend, Jason Gideon. When he figured out the thing you could do, he knew you would make a great addition to his team. Granted, he was on a “summer break” so to speak, but he would be more than happy to give you a recommendation. It’s not that you didn’t want to work for the FBI, you just didn’t know if you would be good enough.

Never have your abilities let you down even if they didn’t always give you want you wanted. No one really knew what you could do, not even your family. It made you feel like a freak, like you never belonged anywhere since all you could do was see on the soulful plane. Maybe the BAU would benefit from having you on board, but would you benefit from having the BAU on your side? Your father always told you never to join any kind of government work, and at the time, he gave a good enough reason to keep you away. Something about them always taking jobs right from underneath everyone’s noses, and you believed him when you were a kid.

Now, not so much.

It was hard to when all you saw was death wherever you go. You didn’t ask for this ability, but you got it, and it was your responsibility to help as many people as you could with it until the day you die. That was the only reason why you were considering taking Jason up on his offer. There was still some hesitation on your shoulder, and you thought a walk would do you nice.

The crowded city rushed on without you, but you only had one thing on your mind. It was the busiest part of the city, but you liked walking through there once in a while. Everyone’s thoughts and feelings came to light when they were in a rush. It bombarded you and often overwhelmed you, but nothing overcame the sickening feeling you got in your stomach when you stepped on Jefferson Rd.

The energy in the air swirled around you, but it wasn’t energy from the people around you; it was from the dead. Even spirits leave energy behind when they pass which allow people like you to snatch it up to figure out their story. The way it works is that you become so overwhelmed with the emotions and the energy that you begin to see some of the last moments that spirit went through before it passed. You are allowed to see it based on how well you connect with it.

Some people have called you being psychic while other people called you a witch. Being an empathetic person helped you see the picture clearly. Not always will you get a clear one, and sometimes, you may not even get a full body. It’s whatever the spirit left behind and wanted you to see. They laid down the stepping stones, and it was up to you to be able to pass them.

Standing still in the middle of the sidewalk, you looked to your left to see a woman appear out of thin air. She was a bit transparent which is how you were able to spot the difference between an energy source and a real human. She was maybe in her mid-twenties, and she was jogging with headphones in. She passed by you without a second glance, and everyone around you seemed to disappear since the only person you were able to focus on was her.

She jogged for a few more seconds when a black apparition came out of the alley not far from you. The black shape grabbed at the woman, but you needed to replay that scene over if you wanted to connect with his spirit. Sometimes, when a picture isn’t clear, you have to replay the mini silent movie over and over again until you can either get a clear picture or you knew that you weren’t getting anything more.

As if you had a remote in one hand, you pressed it which rewound the action. The woman jogged backwards past you to where she first emerged, and you hit the play button. Just like before, she jogged past you, minding her own business when the black shape came at her. This time, he was a bit clearer. Repeating this process over and over again, you watched the woman get kidnapped about twenty more times before you could see the exact details of the man’s face.

He grabbed her and pulled her into the alley, but you couldn’t seem to move. The clearer the picture, the stronger the energy. The stronger the energy meant the event you watched happened recently. The longer the event goes unsolved, the less amount of energy you are able to connect with.

Something happened in that alley, but you dreaded going anywhere near it. However, this woman’s story was untold, and her spirit won’t rest unless someone tells it for her. Taking a deep breath, you looked at the busy street and suddenly remembered that you were in the middle of a city with a bustling amount of people around you.

Pushing past the crowd, you made your way to the alley until you were completely alone as the rest of the world left the single girl who was in the alley alone. There was one particular spot that drew you in, and you took a few steps towards it before getting another vision. The man jammed a knife into the woman’s abdomen, and you gasped when you felt her emotional pain. Being an empath is really hard work since you had more than yourself to worry about.

The woman dropped to the ground with a loud thud, and the man kept stabbing her over and over again until she was way past dead. Once he was satisfied, he took the murder weapon with him and fled the scene, running right past you to do it. It took everything in you to look away from his eyes despite your body telling you to do so.

The noise of the busy city drowned out the sound of a body thumping on the ground, and you crept to the area where she was stabbed. Instead of a body, there was a thick blue tarp covering the ground. It looked like a body was underneath it, but it could be trash. Please let it be trash. Please let it be trash. Picking up the end of the tarp with your gloved hand, you peeked underneath it to see wide soulless eyes staring at you.

The shock overwhelmed you, and you dropped the tarp in shock. Tears threatened to escape your eyes, but if it wasn’t for you, this woman probably would have never been found—or, at least, not right now. From what you could gather, the body was still fresh with only sight signs of decaying. If you called the police now, they might be able to find her killer.

Taking out your cellphone, you dialed 911 and put in an anonymous tip before getting the hell out of there. It didn’t take long for first responders to arrive on scene, and you watched from the deli across the street as they uncovered her. She was found because of you. She is going to get justice because of you.

That was all the evidence you needed to make your decision.

Taking out your phone once more, you called your dear and beloved friend. It took him three rings to pick up.

“Jason, it’s me, Y/N. I’ll take it.”

Gideon was sucked back into the BAU on a case after he needed to take some time for himself. He was involved with a bomber that took out one hostage and six agents, so you could understand why he requested for your help. He trusted you to aid this team in finding a killer, especially when he saw what you can do first-hand. It was hard to explain your abilities to someone who couldn’t possibly understand, but you knew you had to since he had a jet full of his other teammates.

It didn’t take long to get to the airport where the jet was waiting, and before you ascended the stairs, you could feel everyone’s emotions—impatient, curiosity, calmness, and eagerness. They were all waiting for you, and you needed to show them that you belonged on their team. Walking on the jet, all heads turned at the new presence. Gideon stood up and approached you with a welcoming smile on his face.

“It’s good to see you again,” he stated.

“Well, you needed me. Here I am,” you nodded, looking at everyone else on the jet.

The person you noticed first was what you assumed to be the second person in charge. He had almost black hair and a hard gaze since he didn’t really like newcomers. The next person was a black male who emitted impatience since he just wanted to get in the air. The last person was a scrawny young male which is where the curiosity was coming from.

“Y/N, this is my team. Agent Aaron Hotchner, Derek Morgan, and Dr. Spencer Reid.”

“Spencer Reid?” you asked, and the young man perked up at the sound of his name. “Sorry, but I’ve read everything you have ever written especially Identifying Non-obvious Relationship Factors Using Cluster Weighted Modeling and Geographic Regression. You have a very intelligent mind.”

“Thank you,” he smiled, clearly impressed that you read his work.

“Guys, this is my good friend Y/N that I’ve asked to help us on this case.”

“Is she FBI?” Hotchner asked.

“Not exactly.”

“I am what’s known as an empathetic psychic. If ‘witch’ makes you sleep better at night, then call me that. I see things that most people are not able to see. I connect with people’s energies, especially the dead. Believe it or not, I see events that lead up to someone’s death due to the energy and the spirit they leave behind. The more recent the event, the stronger of a picture I get. It doesn’t always give me what I want, but it always provides me with what I need. I’ll be a valuable asset to this team.”

“I already approved it with the board. She has her firearm qualification and she passed the academy with flying colors,” Gideon sided with you.

“We need to get going. We’ll see how you do on this case,” Hotchner nodded.

With that, the plane was off. It wasn’t until the pilot let you know it was safe to move around the cabin that everyone start to talk about the case.

“His first victim was Melissa Kirsh—stab wounds and strangulation,” Spencer read from the file.

“Wait, wait. Back up. Back up,” Derek interrupted. “He stabbed her and then strangled her to finish her off?”

“Other way around,” Gideon cleared his throat before turning to you, the hopefully newest member of the team. “Why do you think he started using the belt with the second murder?”

“Strangulation with your bare hands is not as easy as one would believe,” you said, earning a few stares from the others. You knew it would take some time for them to get used to you, especially when they didn’t even know you. The fact that you’re with them is because you’re friends with Gideon. “He tried and probably found that it took too long so he stabbed her instead and realized it would be hours cleaning up the blood.”

“Next time, our boy's got a method—the belt,” Derek added.

“He's learning and perfecting his scenario. Becoming a better killer,” Gideon stated.

“So, Y/N, where did you learn about profiling?” Hotchner asked, taking a break from the case.

“I have a PhD in Criminal Justice with a sole focus on profiling. Another one in Psychology which better helps me connect with others. I thought Gideon told you all of this,” you asked, looking at your friend.

“How old are you, if you don’t mind me asking?” Spencer asked.

“Twenty-three. Well, I turn twenty-three in a few months.”

“Wow, I’m impressed. How did you get two PhD’s at your age?”

“How’d you get three at yours?”

“I’m a genius with an eidetic memory.”

“Yeah, well, I worked my ass off to get where I am so just know that you’re not letting just anyone on this jet with you. I’d be happy to prove myself to you guys. I’ve been doing it since I could read.”

“There’s a few more of us you still have to meet,” Hotchner stated.

“Lucky you, Reid,” Derek grinned. The young doctor stared at his friend in confusion. “You’re not the youngest one here anymore.”

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[cocobutnochanel]

Dream Boy | 18+

Genre: angst, romance, drama, smut

Main Characters: Oh Sehun x Reader (oc: female)

Summary: On a trip abroad, you meet someone familiar and strange at the same time. What started as a dreamy summer fling contains a sick and twisted turn.

Warnings: pregnancy, spying, obsession, stalking, violence, aggression, harassment, profanity, sex scenes, mature themes, yandere!Sehun, obsessed!Sehun

Kink List: unprotected sex, creampie, body worship

Word Count: 9.8k+ words

You pack your bags as Chanyeol sits on your living room, staring at you the whole time. He heard the news about your boyfriend dumping you for no reason. News travel fast in Seoul, for sure.

“Yeol, I said I’m fine.” You huff once again to your best friend. He was overprotective since you were children and seeing your puffy eyes made him worry even more. “I knew he wasn’t right for you.” He muttered under his breath, getting angry for the umpteenth time today.

You just roll your eyes at him and continue folding your clothes. You were going to Philippines for summer. Your boss, Yixing, thought it’d be nice to bring you and the whole office with him to Palawan after you do some work in Manila.

“Pack your own bags now. You know Baek will give you shit if you’re late for tomorrow.” You try to get him out of your apartment by using his boyfriend as an argument but he doesn’t even budge. Baekhyun was also your best friend and thankfully, the news of Minseok dumping you hasn’t reached him yet. You know he’d react worse than Chanyeol himself.

Speaking of the devil, Baekhyun bursts inside your apartment. You roll your eyes for the hundredth time today. This couple really had no plan on leaving you alone.

“Y/N! What the hell did Minseok do to you?” Baekhyun got on his knees to level his eyes with yours as he asked you this. He caresses your face and gives you a sorrowful look. “Baek, I’m fine. Can you bring Chanyeol with you when you leave?” You ask him, trying to drive the two out of your apartment.

You see Baekhyun stand and pull Chanyeol out from your couch. You sigh when you thought they were finally leaving but Baekhyun’s words made you jump. “Yeobo, let’s go to that fucking bastard. My hands are itching to beat him up!” Baekhyun growled as Chanyeol nodded at him, agreeing to what his boyfriend said.

You quickly get on your feet and block them from going through your door. Baekhyun glares at you but you only cross your arms across your chest. “Nobody is beating anybody, Baekhyun.” You narrow your eyes at him.

“He deserves it.” Chanyeol tried to argue but you narrow your eyes at him too. “Couples break up, Yeol. Not everyone has a relationship like yours and Baek. Now, stay. I’m not going to send you guys away if you promise me you won’t hurt Minseok.” You point at the two scowling faces in front of you.

“Fine.” Baekhyun retreated. “I don’t know what that cat face got up your ass. You’re still defending him after he dumped you for no fucking reason.” He walks to the kitchen, anger still in his eyes. You sigh again at how your besties are acting. This would be worse if you were complete. Thankfully, Kyungsoo wasn’t around.

“Yeol, can you please calm Baek down? Before he does anything stupid.” You plead Chanyeol with puppy eyes. He turns around and follows his boyfriend into your kitchen.

You finally have stopped the two from hurting Minseok and you resume packing your bags while they cook dinner. God, imagine if Soo was here. If he was, he’d rub salt into the wound, making you cry even more and fuelling Baekhyun’s anger too.

Your bestfriends were chaotic. Your bunch was odd: it had Chanyeol who was a 6’1 giant who acted like a puppy to everyone, a short-tempered feisty Baekhyun who looks twelve, Kyungsoo was the mean and judgmental bitch who gave constant backhanded compliments at gatherings and you were the barely five foot tiny girl who daydreams way too much. But nonetheless, you were happy you have them. Going on a trip with them while working with them was a dream come true ever since you were a kid.

“Dinner’s ready, Y/N!” You hear Baekhyun call out as soon as you have finished packing your bags. You head to your apartment’s dining room and start eating dinner with the two. They send you pitiful glances but you ignore it. You finish it immediately and head to bed. Eventually, the two left and went to their own apartment.

You cried yourself again to sleep despite you telling yourself you have to sleep early. The thought of Minseok’s stoic face ending things with you after a year was enough to make you sob overnight. He meant a lot to you. You spent a whole year with this man you fell in love with. Yet he had to break up with you without even telling you why the hell he’d do that.

Soon, you drift off to sleep. Your thoughts now replaced by drowsiness. Once again, you dream about finding love on an island like how they do in Love Island. It was your favorite show ever since.

You wake up to the sound of your alarm going off. You groan and turn it off. You get up and get ready for the airport before Baekhyun arrives in your apartment. He’s very fussy about time.

After getting ready, you, Chanyeol, Baek and Kyungsoo gather at your apartment and got one cab to drive to the airport. Your eyes were puffy again and Baek can’t help but hold your hand throughout the ride. Kyungsoo just kept glancing at you through the rearview mirror. The three of them have always been overprotective, this wasn’t anything new to you. Only Soo was more subtle about it.

You arrive at the airport and meet with your other officemates. The process was much shorter than expected as everyone chattered about the trip. Before you even noticed, the plane was already boarding and you were now off to Manila.

The days in Manila went by so fast. You assisted Yixing as much as you could during the office meetings with this Filipino company that were partnering with Yixing’s company. You were so occupied and busy that you didn’t notice it was done already. It was time to go to Palawan for your vacation now.

You ride another airplane. It was a series of Chanyeol muttering complains about the economy’s seats being tiny, Baekhyun snoring the whole trip and Kyungsoo judging the other passengers. Travelling with your besties was fun but they were draining as hell.

The hotel you were staying in Palawan was beautiful. It made you feel like you were on those dating TV shows you bingewatch. Chanyeol and Baek shared a room while you and Kyungsoo had separated ones. Soo hates sharing his privacy and people touching his things.

The beach was nothing like the ones you see back in your city. The sand here was fine and white. The waves were unafraid and the ocean was a beautiful teal. You finally forgot about Minseok for a moment.

“Mabuhay!” A tanned tall man welcomed you and your officemates. “I’m Jongin, the owner of the resort. Yixing and I are very good friends. I’m more than happy to accommodate all of you here.” He greeted us joyfully, his eyes glinting with happiness.

“Yum.” You hear Kyungsoo comment beside you while staring at Jongin who was in a floral polo with the first three buttons open. You scrunch your nose at the thought of Kyungsoo crushing on someone. “Soo, try to keep your pants on.” Baekhyun gave him a disgusted look.

Kyungsoo smirked in response. “Tell him that, he might have a hard time keeping his hands off me.” He sends a flirty gaze to the tanned man who was now looking at him adoringly. Jongin looked like he couldn’t even break a plate. What the hell was Kyungsoo saying even?

Another tall man in the hotel’s uniform comes to your sight. He was as tall as Jongin but his facial features were sharper. He didn’t look kind at all despite having a jaw-dropping handsome face. He somehow resembled prince Eric but with solid black eyes and stoic expression. His pale complexion made him look even more unfriendly.

“Hi.” The sharp man breathed out, giving a shy smile. Your feel your heart skip and your mouth part. When you thought he was unfriendly, you were totally wrong. He was as innocent as the tanned man now that he’s upclose.

“Can I have your bags?” You snapped out of your thoughts when you hear his deep voice again. You hand him your luggage as he puts them on the rack he has with him. “I’m Sehun, by the way. Your personal bellboy.” He gives you a friendly grin. He waited for this for so long, this must be perfect, he thinks to himself.

He leads you to an elevator with Kyungsoo, Baekhyun and Chanyeol following you. His eyes stayed glue on you as a shy playful smile graces his beautiful face. You get inside the lift with a funny feeling in your stomach as he punches your hotel keycard on the elevator sensor to bring you on your floor.

Sehun looks awfully familiar to you, you can’t keep your eyes off him. You feel like you met him somewhere but you couldn’t exactly say when and how. He feels your gaze whilst on the elevator and gives a tiny laugh. Oddly, that makes your heart flutter. He was handsome and his shy smiles made it worse for you.

“Looks like someone found a summer beau.” Kyungsoo eyed you with his judging demeanor. You notice Baek shooting him daggers and you couldn’t help but roll your eyes at the two. “Shut it, Soo.” Baekhyun hissed when the elevator doors opened and we all got out.

Baekhyun, Chanyeol and Kyungsoo got in their respective rooms. Sehun was now left all alone with you because your room was at the end of the hall. He stops at your room door and opens it for you.

“Thank you, Sehun.” You smile at him as he pushes the rack inside your room. He puts your bags on the cabinet provided and shows you the food available inside the mini fridge. Your eyes scanned the numerous banana milk inside. That’s weird, you silently thought. These type of drinks aren’t usually available in other countries. Also, it was unusual to have it available in a hotel fridge.

You snapped out of your thoughts as soon as you realize he was still with you. You got your wallet out and was about to give him a tip but he cut you off immediately. “No, ma’am. We’re not allowed to receive tips.” He formally said, shaking his head.

You look at him with a pout. In his head, he couldn’t believe you were doing this in front of him. “However..” He starts talking which makes you look at him in the eye. “You can thank me by letting me show you around Coron. Palawan is really beautiful.” He gives you another warm but shy smile.

“Isn’t that another favor?” You can’t help but laugh. He blushes at the sound of your giggle. He thinks it’s the most beautiful sound ever and he missed it. He missed seeing you this happy. “Maybe it’s me asking you out on a date.” He teases you, making you blush successfully.

“Okay..” You can’t help but gush at the fact that you found someone this charming in the middle of this paradise. Life couldn’t get any better for you. He walks to your desk and writes a note there.

“Here. Text me.” He hands you a tiny piece of paper. “I will.” You smile again, your cheeks feeling sore from the happiness you’re having right now. “See you soon, ma’am.” He bows his head and motions to exit but he whips his head around when he heard you speak.

“Stop calling me ma’am, Sehun. I’m Y/N.” His eyes light up at you saying your name. He knew what your name was but the idea of you giving it to him willingly was something that made him truly happy. He couldn’t thank the gods enough for this.

He mutters something incoherent and heads out of your room. You finally take off your travel clothes and change into your pajamas. You know you would just rest and sleep all day. You were tired from work and the plane ride. Before you went to bed, you text Soo to have room service with you for dinner later. You also text Sehun to save your number.

A few hours later, you wake up, feeling much better. You open your phone to see Kyungsoo’s text saying he was going out with the hotel owner. You roll your eyes at the manwhore. Sehun also messaged you that he already saved your number. You order room service and have your dinner while watching cartoons.

Soon, you were sleepy once again. You just decide to be up early tomorrow to make up for lost time today.

‘Sehun, can you take me out tom?’ You sheepishly giggled while typing this and sending it to him. ‘My honor, milady.’ He teased, earning another smile from you.

He was tall, handsome and charming. You knew you completely forgot about Minseok now that Sehun was occupying your mind. You tend to move on real fast and daydream about other guys almost immediately.

You go to sleep with a smile on your face, thinking about the tall bellboy who looks like a model.

The next morning, sunlight peeks through your curtains and you slightly squint your eyes at that. You woke up earlier than you expected. You texted Sehun a good morning and like you, he was up already too. You get in the shower and get ready for your day. Finally, you were getting out of your hotel room and exploring the beautiful island.

You put on a yellow sundress with a black string bikini beneath. It complemented your olive skin but you plan on returning with a tan. You text Sehun before heading out of your room and going to the hotel’s breakfast buffet.

You see Kyungsoo together with Jongin. Chanyeol and Baekhyun were also in the same table. Baek beckoned you to come over. With a smile, you sit down beside Baek.

“Good morning.” You chirped a little too happily that Soo notices. “Get a plate and help yourself, Y/N.” Jongin said, smiling at me. I return his smile but you catch Sehun’s silhoutte by the hotel’s doors. He was wearing a white dress shirt and khaki shorts. The first three buttons were open, exposing his chest with a hanging pair of sunglasses. How he looked without his uniform took your breath away.

Soo’s eyes darted between the tall man and now you. “That’s why you’re such in a good mood.” Kyungsoo sneered in his usual judging tone. “Can you try going for a day without sticking your nose in everyone’s business?” Baekhyun glared at him. You ignored their usual bicker and called Sehun to your table.

You greet him with a smile and introduced him to your friends. “Everyone, this is Sehun.” They all gave their hellos except for Soo who was still being snarky. “This is Kyungsoo, Baekhyun and Chanyeol. I’m pretty sure I don’t have to introduce you to your boss.” You chuckle, referring to Jongin. Sehun greeted them back as if he didn’t know who they were already. You notice Jongin avoid Sehun’s gaze. You knew there was tension going on but you shrugged it off. Maybe workplace complications, you thought.

You pull out the vacant chair beside you but Sehun refuses it. “I’m sorry but I have to take Y/N with me. We’ll have breakfast somewhere else.” He sternly said. That surprised you because Sehun didn’t tell you anything about what will happen today but you let him take the lead. You liked men with surprises.

You stood up, picking up your beach bag with you. “Let’s go?” Sehun said, holding you by the wrist. You blush at the gesture but you hear Kyungsoo say something again. “Day one and he’s trying to get Y/N alone.” He sneered for the second time today. This time, you turn around to narrow your eyes at him. He raised an eyebrow at you, challenging you.

“Cut it out, Soo.” It was Baekhyun who scolded your friend as you walked away with Sehun. He brings you to the shore of the resort. He leads you to a white boat docked by the shore and assists you as you enter. The sea breeze whips at your hair and you smile at the feeling of the sun against your skin.

He single-handedly manned the boat’s engine as it started to move. You look around the beautiful scenery. “Where are we going?” You wonder, getting your camera out of your bag. “Island hopping.” He briefly answered, still busy manning the boat.

You take a few photos of here and there but after a few seconds, the boat stops in the middle of the ocean. You look around and see a yacht docked. You questioned what was happening as he led you inside the yacht. It was obvious that whoever owned this, he must be filthy rich.

The interior of the yacht was similar to Sehun’s khaki pants. It was adorned with gold decorations too. There were attendants walking around and assisting you as you got inside. What the hell was happening?

“Good morning, ma’am, sir.” The attendant greeted, bowing to you and Sehun. Your eyes finally widened as it started to make sense. “You own this?” You ask Sehun as your eyes surveyed the beautiful and luxurious private yacht. “I rented it out from a friend.” His gaze was averted to the tiny boat you were riding earlier. You see his attendant squirm in unease as he left you two alone by the yacht’s entrance.

He holds your hand and leads you inside. His hand was like a large glove as it intertwined between your fingers. You smile to yourself at the warmth of his palms. You see a dining table set by the yacht’s terrace. You could see the beautiful waters of Coron, Palawan as it glinted under the bright sun. This seemed like a dream. To be here, to be with a man who was holding your hand.

He lets you sit across him as food began to be served by the attendants. A variety of seafood were on your table but your favorite, lobster, caught your eye the most.

“Oh my god! A whole lobster and even a risotto with it.” Your mouth watered at the sight. “This is my favorite!” You squealed like a little girl. Sehun’s eyes glow with adoration as you smile at the food in front of you. “I know.” You hear him say in a very faint voice.

“What?” You ask him, still unsure of what you heard. How could he know that lobster was your favorite? “Nothing. Let’s eat.” He said nonchalantly. He started putting food on your plate. You begin eating like what he said and he smiles at you like you put the stars in the sky.

After having breakfast, he lets you enjoy the rest of the morning on the bow of the yacht. You take off your sundress, letting your body soak under the sun. Your eyes find Sehun who was standing behind you. He couldn’t get any luckier, he thought. You were so beautiful and standing this near to him made him feel like he was on the clouds.

You lay down beside him and let yourself get the tan you deserve. You doze off for a few minutes and wake up to Sehun’s nudging.

“I hate to wake you up but we’ve arrived.” He offers a hand to let you sit up. You gladly took it. The scenery in front of you was too beautiful, words could never suffice. The rock formations surrounding the waters made you feel like you were in a movie. It was surreal.

Sehun starts to unbutton his dress shirt and you see his six pack abs peeking through. You try to keep your eyes off his amazing body but it was too hard to resist. His broad shoulders, tall built, rock-hard abs and chest made it seem like he walked out of a Disney princess movie. His pale skin under the sun glowed and his long black hair was now pushed back.

He dives into the water first, jumping from the top of the yacht. You snap out of your daydreaming about him and jump right in too.

You shivered at the contact of your skin with the water. “Cold.” You bit your lip, hugging yourself. Abruptly, Sehun swam to you. His face up close, glistening with seawater made your heart pound faster. “We can do something about that.” He smiles at you, putting his arms around you. You lean against his chest and he smiles to himself. He honestly couldn’t stop thinking how lucky he was right now and how he would do anything to have this forever, to have you forever.

You look up to him, interrupting his thoughts. “Is there something wrong?” He asks. Before you could think for yourself, you find your lips smashing against his. He was stunned at first but after a few moments, he reciprocated the kiss you were giving him. Damn, he thought, he would kill just to have another taste of your lips.

You break off the kiss and you see the amazement in his eyes. “I-I’m sorry. I don’t usually kiss on first dates but this is too beautiful. I want to thank you for showing me this.” You explained as his left hand caressed your cheek. “Anything for you, Y/N. Anything.” He said with so much intensity in his gaze.

You smiled at his sincerity right now. You couldn’t help but notice the adoration in his eyes always. He helps you get back up on the yacht as you both have your lunch by the yacht’s terrace in your bikini and him shirtless.

Your afternoon was spent basking in the sun by the yacht’s bow. It was filled with passionate kisses that only Sehun could ignite that hunger and fire inside you. You have never felt so alive in your life and it was all thanks to Sehun. He was perfect, this was perfect.

Sunset came and Sehun’s bare skin under the pink skies was beyond perfection. You ate your dinner while staying where you were for the whole afternoon. He couldn’t help but think all his efforts paid off as you joyfully sat there with him. It was all he could ask for. You were all he could ask for.

After having dinner, he offers you a towel and brings you your beach bag. You wash up in one of the cabins of the yacht while he supervised the manning of the yacht.

You changed into a sleeveless white dress that took his breath away. He couldn’t move or blink as you stood there, your tanned skin standing out against the beautiful dress you were in. Seeing you in a long white dress made him think of his wedding with you. Soon, he thought to himself.

You finally arrive back at your hotel’s shore. He walks you to your hotel room and carries your bag for you.

You arrive at your door and you were kind of upset that today have ended but nonetheless, grateful for this man in front of you. “Thank you for today, Sehun. It was magical.” You get on your tiptoes and place a chaste kiss on his soft lips. He responded with the same rawness and even held your face while doing it.

He breaks off the kiss and you could see the look of amazement on his face. This man adored you and you loved it. Nobody has looked at you like this nor made you feel alive like he did. It would be too early to assume but you couldn’t deny that falling for this real-life prince charming wasn’t hard at all. He made it too easy.

“Good night.” He places a kiss on your forehead. He opens your door for you and hands you the bouquet of flowers he got for you tonight. It was very sweet of him. He even got your favorite flowers which were red salvia. He got everything right on the first date, it still amazes you how he’s so perfect.

You close your door behind you with an overjoyed smile. It felt like you were on the clouds and you were sure he felt the same. Your phone beeped in your hand and you see a text from Baek saying to have dinner with them.

You reply with a ‘Maybe tomorrow, Baek. Too tired for today goodnight xx’. You change into much comfortable pajamas and sleep with a smile on your face.

You woke up next to your phone beeping. You rub your eyes lightly and check your messages. It was Sehun.

‘Hey, you up? Can I take you out on a date again? :)’

You could only imagine that smile and that fact made you so giddy. You reply with a yes and take a shower. You change into another comfortable sundress. Sehun said he’d take you around town this time. You didn’t bother putting on a bikini and went downstairs instead.

Kyungsoo was with Jongin by the reception. They were flirting with each other and I couldn’t help but roll my eyes at my friend. “Good morning to you too, lover girl.” Soo greeted you with a jeer after seeing you roll his eyes at you. “Sehun has been waiting for you outside.” Jongin said and you said your goodbyes to them.

You see him stand tall by the hotel’s doors in a blue button up shirt and denim pants. You look down on your dress and see that your outfits were acidentally matching. Your heart skipped a beat at that. Still, you couldn’t believe he was this perfect.

“Good morning.” He greeted you with a kiss on the cheek. You blush at the gesture and greet him back. “So where are we going?” You ask him as you started to stroll towards the parking lot. “Let’s get to my Vespa first.” You eyes light up at what he said.

Was today going to be another one of your dream dates? You only talked about these things when you were younger with Baekhyun. Both of you fantasized of having a partner who took you out to perfect dates. The Vespa ride around a beachtown was one.

He helped you up on his blue scooter that matched both of your outfits. You blush again. He wears a helmet on your head, your faces were so so close once again.

He rides the bike himself and starts to drive into town. Woahs and wows came out of your mouth as you gaze upon the beautiful beachtown.

“If I grow old and want to retire, I want to rest here.” You say aloud, your voice full of awe. Sehun looks at you through the side mirror and smile to himself. He was very fond of you and seeing you loving the island made his heart flutter. “Then you know where to find me.” He grins and that earns a giggle from you.

You stop at a tiny cafe that was all-wooden. He guides you inside, his fingers intertwined with yours.

The owner greets him with a bright smile. “Sehun! You’re here! What do you want to get?” The old lady chirps. Even women that age love him, you thought.

“Tapsilog for me, bacon and eggs for the lady. Please let the bacon be honey-cured and the eggs cooked over well. Hot americano too for two.” He gives some Philippine peso money to the woman and leads you to a table by the corner. You’re surprised he knows exactly how you want your bacon and eggs.

Your order arrives and you smile giddily. The smell of breakfast food makes you excited. “Ugh, my favorite! How do you know my favorites? You’re so perfect.” You ask him. His eyes were alarmed for a moment that if you weren’t paying attention, you could’ve missed it. “I just do.” He smiles at you, now in a calm voice, and starts digging in.

You finish your breakfast and Sehun shows you around the antique shops and old churches. He also gives you a chance to see the peaceful parks and the lively market.

“Palawan really is beautiful.” You say, marvelling at the Malbato Chapel’s structure. “Not as beautiful as you.” He whispers, surprising you. He takes your face in between his hands and kisses you in front of the altar. You weren’t a Catholic but you could swear this made your heart burst.

Kissing me in front of a church? Exactly what would make my knees buckle as my hands went to his hair, playing with his dark locks. He ends the kiss with one hard press and leads you back on the scooter again.

He shows you the best souvenir shop in the town, he said. You buy presents and souvenirs for your friends and your family back in Seoul. “That’s really beautiful.” He comments as you hold the shiny shell keychain for Kyungsoo. “I know it’s for Soo. He loves things that shine.” You smile at the keychain but Sehun frowns at that.

He couldn’t help but spite that little guy. He was judgmental and he was ruining his plans. His perfect plans.

You pay for the things you got and Sehun decides to let you go back to the hotel to bond with your friends. You’ve barely seen them in the three days you were here. He also had the night shift for the hotel. You knew Baek and Yeol would be upset if you didn’t spend time with them.

Sehun walks you back to your hotel room and gives you one last kiss for that day. You change into something more comfortable and knock on Chanyeol and Baekhyun’s room. They gladly let you in as the three of you eat room service for lunch.

The day went by idly as you stayed in the hotel. Kyungsoo came for dinner and invited you to a local festival next week. Of course, you said yes to that.

You return to your room by 10 in the evening and you couldn’t help but feel strange. There was something off while you got in the shower. You tried to look around and noticed a little spot behind the sink.

You bent to see what that tiny black dot was. You touched it and realized it was a camera. You just touched its lens. You fall on your butt, you were scared for your life. Who would put a camera on you? You shriek and immediately wore your bath robe. You ran to Kyungsoo’s room which was the nearest.

“Soo!” You pounded on his door, tears welling up in your eyes. He opened it after a few seconds, immediately noticing terror in your eyes. Jongin peeked from his door. “Soo, there’s a camera inside my bathroom! I-I don’t know what I should do!” You were hysterical and crying.

Kyungsoo visibly became angrier as he looked at Jongin now. “What?! What the fuck?!” He growled at Jongin who has eyes as wide as saucers now. He got out of his room and knocked on Baek and Chanyeol’s room.

They opened immediately but was surprised to see you crying beside a fuming Kyungsoo. “Y/N’s room has fucking cameras. Jongin, what the hell is this?!” He looked at the man angrily but Jongin could only look at the floor guiltily.

“Are you okay? Are you hurt?” Chanyeol pulled you into his arms, trying to rub your back. Your sobs softened but Baekhyun wasn’t one to calm down. He was raging mad. He took Jongin by his collar. “What the hell is the meaning of this?” He bellowed.

“I-I don’t know. It must be the employees. I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry.” Jongin continuously apologized. Kyungsoo stomped his way onto your room to find those cameras.

Chanyeol was still trying to calm you down as you were walking back to your room. Kyungsoo rummaged the whole bedroom but he couldn’t see a single camera.

“There’s no camera, Y/N. Were you sure?” He asked, looking at you with so much concern. “Do you think Y/N would lie about things like these?” Baekhyun answered him angrily.

“Whoever installed those, knew that Y/N found out about it so they quickly disposed it.” Baek spoke again, discerning the whole situation. “Soo, can you get my phone? I want to call Sehun.” At the mention of Sehun’s name, Jongin’s eyes widened with horror but you couldn’t point out what it was. Still, you went on and looked for the only person who could provide you comfort now.

Kyungsoo returned with your phone in his hand. You dialed Sehun’s number and he answered on the first ring immediately. “S-Sehun..” You try to calm your crying voice.

“You okay? What’s wrong?” He was lying through his teeth but you were too emotional to think about that. “S-Someone had cameras installed in my room. I-I don’t know anymore.” You bit your lip nervously.

“I’ll be there in a minute.” You dry your tears up as soon as he ended the call. A few moments later, you see Sehun entering in his bellboy uniform. You run to him and wrap your arms around him. You didn’t know how or why but he made you feel safe. His face was stoic. He wasn’t angry like Baekhyun or worried like Jongin but still, he cared for you. That made you feel better.

Sehun and Jongin’s gaze meet. Sehun had a frightening glint in his eyes while Jongin remained stern. “I will investigate my employees about this. I’m so sorry.” You hear Jongin’s voice. You could only nod against Sehun’s chest.

“It’s okay now. Shhh.” He pats your back, slowly silencing your sobs. “Thanks for being here.” You whisper when he finally sees your face. “You’re safe now. It’s okay.” He might’ve said this but still, going back inside to your hotel room frightened you. 

“It’s okay. You should get some rest.” Baek tried to talk to you but you could only shake your head in response. ”I’m scared, Baek. What if someone’s still watching me?” Your voice was shaky as you fiddled with your fingers nervously and it broke your friends’ hearts to see you like this. You were innocent and soft to them. You never deserved anything like this.

“You can sleep at my house for the mean time if that’ll make you feel safer. Just until Jongin finds the culprit.” Sehun suddenly spoke. Jongin was startled at the man’s suggestion but then before you could even see Jongin’s horrified expression, you already said yes to Sehun. He definitely made you feel better.

“Okay, enough now. Let’s go.” Sehun gets into another stare-down with Jongin but you were too emotional to even bother. You cuddle up to the tall man as both of you walked away from your worried friends.

Arriving at his home, it was unusually large. It had a lot of rooms but then Sehun said he lived alone. Despite the number of rooms present, you wanted to sleep beside him so you ask him that. Fortunately, he agreed.

You drift off to sleep in his large t-shirt, cuddling the large man who have helped you tonight. For the first time since earlier, you felt safe. You were grateful you had him despite the shit you were going through. Sehun couldn’t help but feel anger as his plans might get ruined. But you staying in his home might be better than what he had for you.

Days went by idly. You stayed in Sehun’s home and he was there with you the whole time. He never left you alone despite you refusing to go out, still afraid and traumatized. Kyungsoo, Baekhyun and Chanyeol brought your things from the hotel and visited you from time to time. When they weren’t around, you watched movies with Sehun and played board games until you two were bored. One night, he prepared a dinner date for you two.

You gasp at the beatifully decorated backyard. There was a dining set for two in the middle of it and it was surrounded with fairy lights and candles.

“You are so full of surprises.” You smile, kissing Sehun on his lips. “I just want you to have everything you want.” He returned the kiss and gave you a toothy grin afterwards. This was all unexpected but it went his way, Sehun thought once again.

You sit down across him and start eating the lobster he cooked for you. “This is our fifth day together here. Isn’t Jongin looking for you?” He looked alarmed at the mention of Jongin’s name yet it was only present for a few seconds. Confidence took over once again as he answered your questions. 

“He told me to take a leave and watch after you. It’s what your friends wanted.” He smiles, taking a bite of his own food. Behind that smile, he grits his teeth, still angry at Jongin. You could only nod at what he said. 

After finishing your food, he goes back inside the house and returns with a wine bottle in his hand. “Sauvignon blanc. You sure know my favorites.” Your eyes light up at the sight of your favorite wine. He’s so perfect he even gets the tiniest details like this right. He grins at what you said. 

He finishes this ‘dinner date’ with him carrying you to his room. You may have slept here recently but this was the first time you notice the hunger in his lips. 

He opens the door to his room and sets you on the bed. You kiss him with the same intensity as he did. He slowly took off the satin slip dress you had on for dinner. His eyes scan your body with so much admiration. He slowly unhooked the lace bra you had on as his other hand roamed your body with an intoxicating touch.

You moan when you feel the warmth of his palm on your breasts. He tore off the kiss you shared as he hooked his fingers around your lace panty and took it off.

He lets you stand, offering a hand. For sure, you looked bewildered at what he was trying to do. “Let me worship you like the goddess that you are.” His husky voice sent chills down your spine as he whispered this while kissing your hand.

He lets you stand on the bed as he kneeled in front of you. He starts kissing your foot and up your leg. You were barely keeping your balance as he showered you with kisses, swirling his tongue on your bare skin from time to time. 

His mouth was now on your inner thigh and you couldn’t recognize your own voice as you moaned out his name. “S-Sehun! Ah!” You say when his lips touched your wet femininity.

He was sending you over the edge and he knew because you felt his smirk against your pussy. 

He flicks his tongue across your lips, making you gasp for air. You arch your back when you felt his soft lips against your lips down there. “Jesus Christ, Sehun.” You breath out in ecstasy.

You feel his palms now caressing your thighs as he ate you out. You were delirious the moment he inserted his tongue deep inside you. God, that mouth. That mouth is just as perfect and good as this man.

You feel yourself on the edge as you reach for his hair, locking them in your fingers. “Sehun!” You screamed his name as a wave of release came upon you. Your thighs trembled as something gushed out of you. “Beautiful.” He said as he witnessed you come. He placed one last kiss on your pussy and now proceeded up your stomach.

You could never have enough. This man was a drug and you knew it. You pulled him up to your face as his lips met yours once again. You feel his member twitch on your stomach. You quickly reached for it and positioned it between your legs.

“Are you sure about this, Y/N?” His eyes were so dark with lust and his voice was raspy. You could only move your hips against his as a response to his question.

He slowly entered you. It felt like he was tearing up your walls. He was that large. Despite the pain you were feeling, you still moved your hips at your own accord.

Sehun’s eyes widened at your action. He couldn’t believe he was inside you and you were moving yourself. This wasn’t a dream or imagination. This was real. You were his.

He thrusted into you so suddenly, tears formed in the corners of your eyes. “I’m sorry.” His voice was surprised at the sight of you crying.

“Do it, Sehun. I need you.” The moment he heard you begging, he did as he was told. He rocked you back and forth, making you moan. The way you clenched around him made him groan too.

Soon, you found each other releasing at the same time. He came inside you and that was the first time you did it with someone you knew for days only and without protection at that.

After that satisfying intercourse, he led you to his bathroom and washed you himself. You were grateful that he was gentle, understanding and caring. He took care of you and he wanted to be with you. It was weird to feel something like this for someone you only met for a week.

Both of you finish showering and change into pajamas. You both go to bed and rest for the night. Tomorrow was the day Kyungsoo invited you for the festival and you decided to go. You felt safe as long as Sehun was around and he promised to go with you tomorrow.

You cuddle into the man beside you and sleep dreamlessly.

The smell of bacon and eggs frying woke you up. You took a shower before heading downstairs. You changed into one of the dresses you brought with you.

You climb downstairs and see a shirtless Sehun by the stove, cooking your breakfast. How lucky could I get? “Good morning.” You hum, wrapping your arms against his waist. He smiles at how sweet you are first thing in the morning.

“Breakfast is served.” He puts the bacons and eggs on a plate and turns around to kiss you. “Mmmh.” You moan against his lips.

He stopped kissing you and picked up the plate so he can place it on the dining table. You both eat in peace and afterwards, Sehun climbs upstairs to change into something more presentable.

Oddly, your eyes darted to that empty room below the stairs. You’ve never seen Sehun get in there. You’ve never been there yourself either. You were about to stand and see it yourself but Sehun got to you first, all prepared and dressed for the day.

“Let’s go.” He beckons you to come to his side and he puts his arm around you as you get out of his house.

The two of you drive off to the local park that was celebrating the fiesta. There was food, activities and dances everywhere. You even went horseback-riding with them. It was so lively, you’ve never seen anything like it in the city.

You spent the whole day with your friends and it made you happy. You couldn’t have done any of this if it wasn’t for Sehun. If you found out about the cameras and he wasn’t around, you would’ve ran back to your city.

“Are we going to the party?” Soo asked Jongin when he finally joined us by the sundown dance. There was a weird tension going on between the Sehun and Jongin.

“Of course.” Jongin smiled tightly, still uncomfortable with the presence of Sehun. Sehun was now standing taller, his authoritative stance taking over. You didn’t know what was going on between the employee and his boss but you knew you didn’t want to get in between of it so you choose to stay by Sehun’s side all day.

We walked to the party Soo was referring to. It was held at a resort nearby and there would be free drinks.

You didn’t really party hard despite being a city girl but still, you wanted to drink tonight. You just wanted to forget all the bad memories you obtained here and focus on Sehun and your friends only.

You enter the resort and the EDM music was blasting through the speakers while people in their bikinis and beachwear partied in the middle of it all.

Baekhyun, the drinker of the group, brought different types of drinks for us. He knew what we wanted. Jack Daniels for Yeol, a cosmo for Soo, mojito for him and pink vodka lemonade for you. He brought local beer for Sehun and Jongin since he didn’t know what they wanted.

You quickly finished the glass Baek brought you. Sehun was just sitting down at the bar, watching you from behind.

“Trynna get drunk?” Soo asked, dancing a little with the cosmopolitan between his fingers. “No. More like trying to forget the trauma.” You roll your eyes at your friend drunkishly.

He giggled at what you said and gave you a hug. “It’s okay, boo-boo. Nobody would ever try to hurt you. I’d kick them in the balls before they could.” He booped your nose. He was tipsy too, you could tell. You only laughed at what he did. Soon, Baek joined you and pulled the two of you to the dancefloor while bringing drinks.

You danced with Kyungsoo and Baekhyun as the three tall men stayed by the bar.

You felt your world get dizzy as you down your umpteenth glass for tonight. Your gaze was hazy and for sure, tonight was going to be blurry. But you didn’t really care. You only wanted to get drunk.

“Soo..” You lazily called him with half-opened eyes. He laughed at how drunk you and him were. “You’re drunk!” He pointed out way too loud. You shook your head aggressively which made you dizzy. You lost your balance but before you fell to the sandy floor, Sehun caught you.

“I’m taking her home.” Sehun announced when he saw you collapse in his arms. He carries you out of the resort and drives back to his house.

You were at the door of his house when you felt like throwing up. You quickly ran inside and to the common bathroom on the first floor. You faced down on the toilet as you spilled your guts down there. Now, you regretted drinking. “Y/N, stay where you are. I will get clothes.” Sehun called out to you as he ran upstairs.

After puking, you finally felt better and kind of sobered up. You wanted to go upstairs to follow Sehun but instead, you fell to the floor by the room below the stairs. The door creaks open and your curiosity gets the better of you.

You get up on your feet and slowly inched towards the unvisited room. You turn the lights on. At first, you thought you were having hallucinations but then it dawned on you. You sobered up the moment you realized what they were.

The wall was filled with hundreds of photos of you.

You getting lunch with Kyungsoo and Baekhyun at work. You smiling with your parents in your ancestral home in Jeju Island. You sleeping on your hotel bed in Jongin’s hotel. You getting off the cab in Manila. You walking home with Chanyeol from uni. You receiving your college diploma. You applying for the job at Yixing’s company. You having a date with Jongdae, one of your past exes. You crying inside your apartment the day Minseok broke up with you.

You tumble to the floor, your hand on your mouth. How was this happening? He knew me? What the hell?

You inch closer and see banana milk boxes on the shelves and there were monitors on top of it. There were also framed photos of you with dates on Minseok from his point of view. You notice a phone was connected to one of the monitors. What is this? Your mind couldn’t absorb all the information presented to you.

“Do you like it?” Sehun’s deep voice scared you. You were terrified with his presence yet you wanted to ask. What was the reason for this? “What the hell is this, Sehun?” Fear now settling in your soul.

“You don’t remember me?” He sounded broken when he asked me this. You tried to recall if you met him somewhere else but you couldn’t. “It wasn’t Sehun. I was named Heesun and I was fat.” You still couldn’t understand what he was saying but he looked heartbroken when you tried to recall again. But then you suddenly remembered now.

Bingo.

The kid with huge eyeglasses who sat behind Chanyeol in trigo when we were in middle school. This was why he was familiar to you the first time you saw him. “Y-You’re Heesun?” You ask him in disbelief. He only nodded like a puppy. He was the kid you gave banana milk to because he was bullied. You hated banana milk and your mom always put one in your bag. To get rid of it and to cheer up Heesun, you gave it to him everyday.

Everyday until he suddenly disappeared in eighth grade. 

“What happened to you?” Despite being afraid, you cared for him. You couldn’t deny that. “I was sent to child services when my mother died and I was left with my abusive father.” Your hands immediately went to your mouth. You felt sorry for him but then you knew he didn’t need that. He suffered in school, suffered even more at home. 

“I didn’t want to leave because you were the only person who was nice to me but I had to.” He sadly said, a weak smile on his lips. Now, it made sense. The banana milk in my hotel fridge, him being awfully familiar. “I only found you again when I was in college and since then, I followed you around.” You didn’t know how to react.

“You could’ve talked to me instead of doing... this.” You breathe out, trying your best not to offend the man. “I was shy. I simply couldn’t. But back then, I always heard you and your friend Byun Baekhyun talk about your dream guy but none of your boyfriends were like that. I hired one but it looked like he wasn’t any good too.” Hired? What the hell is this man talking about?

“I hired Minseok.” Tears now fall down your face. Surprise, anger and pain entered your system. What you had with Minseok wasn’t real? He was hired?

“But I can love you, Y/N. You saw me for the past few days. I can give you what you deserve.” He tried to persuade you but you had no idea what to say. Your eye caught a specific photo behind the door. You squint your eyes at the image of you naked.

It was you bending down and catching the camera below the sink in your hotel room.

Your eyes widen in horror. It was him. Of course, it was him. He can be Sehun, Heesun or whoever the fuck he was but he terrifies you more than anyone had. Someone was watching you your whole fucking life. You were showering! You were naked! What was he thinking?

The phone that was connected to the monitor suddenly rang. It was Baek’s number. You look at him as if you were asking how he got Baek’s number but when you hear your own phone ring inside your pocket, you knew he wiretapped you. He could hear your calls, see your texts and view the photos you had. The realization made your head hurt.

Before you could think, you ran out of the house and picked up Baek’s call. “Y/N! You left without saying!” He greets you but you weren’t in the mood to small talk. “Baek, hear me out.” You were crying and he was suddenly silent from the other line.

You kept on running away, unaware of where you were going. “Baek, someone’s listening to this call. Please find me and get help.” Before you could end the call, you heard Sehun’s voice enter the conversation. He must’ve answered the call from his connected phone. 

“Wherever you are, Y/N. I will find you. I found you once, I’ll do it again. I should’ve tied you down when I could.” He said coldly and the call ended. A chill runs down your spine. You manage to run impossibly fast. It was the adrenaline and fear doing it.

You finally see a car approaching. You wave, asking for help. The owner opens the car door and you were surprised to see Jongin.

“Jongin, I really really need help please-“ You tried to beg but he quickly pulled you inside the front seat. “I know, get in.” He hisses.

He drives away at 100 km/h. “Did he do anything to you?” He asks, his eyes still on the road. You only shake your head while sobbing.

“Fuck, I knew he’d do this. I fucking knew it.” He smacks the steering wheel while he speeds down the road. You were surprised at what he said.

“What do you mean, Jongin?” You ask him with so much fear in your system. “He’s my best friend. Yixing’s too. He manipulated Xing to hire you and now threatened to kill me if I didn’t force your company to stay at my hotel. He manipulated everything, Y/N. Even the company that partnered with Yixing’s, he owned that corporation.” You gasped at what he said.

Sehun was capable of this? The sweet man who you thought was ‘perfect’? The bullied kid whose face lit up whenever you gave him banana milk? He was capable of such things?

“Trust me, I couldn’t believe it too at first. I mean, he was my best friend. I thought he was joking when he kept on saying that he’d make you fall for him. And he’d make it happen perfectly because you were precious.” He shook his head angrily, shuddering at the exact words of a complete maniac.

You finally arrive at the entrance of Jongin’s hotel and see your friends waiting by the door.

You immediately run to them. Baekhyun was worried sick, he kept asking you questions. Chanyeol was silent but he hugged you and tried to keep you company. Kyungsoo was angry and shouting at Jongin. “Soo, he’s just a victim too. He didn’t do anything bad.” You try to persuade your furious best friend.

The police quickly came and followed Jongin’s instructions. Kyungsoo found a way to book a flight exactly on that moment just so you’d be away from that dangerous man.

Jongin was driving the four of you to the airport and he was panicking. He knew how Sehun could get when it was about you. He was crazy when it came to you.

You arrived at the airport and you left with Chanyeol and Baek as Kyungsoo kissed Jongin for the last time.

Your heart ached for your friend but then, all they were thinking of was your protection and safety. They loved you so much they’d give up a summer romance and a romantic get-away proposal. You knew Chanyeol was supposed to propose to Baek at the end of the trip but he lost that chance after what happened to you.

The plane boarded, your eyes still wet with tears. You were broken for yours and Minseok’s fraud relationship, broken for who Heesun became and broken for your friends who had to leave.

“I’m sorry.” You whispered to Chanyeol when you got in the plane. “Don’t be. You never wanted any of this to happen. It’s okay, we’ll be okay.” He reassured you for the umpteenth time today and that made you break into tears once again. You wonder what the hell did you do in your past life to deserve amazing friends like them.

Finally, you arrive back in Seoul, your original city. Your heart longed for Sehun despite what he has done for you. You couldn’t deny that you fell for him. It wasn’t hard at all, you recall your own thoughts. But thinking of him also meant the fear of him returning too. You had to forget about what you had and get therapy.

After a month or so, your life was peaceful once again. You resigned from Yixing’s company. Baek and Yeol got engaged. Soo was in a loving long-distanced relationship with Jongin.

You were with your best friends right now at the tuxedo store. You were the maid of honor while Soo was the best man for Yeol and Baek’s wedding. It was your job as a best friend to be there for Chanyeol and Baekhyun.

“Here. I think this one looks better.” You hand a black velvet suit to Baek. Soo cringes at my choice. “Why are you here even?” He jokes at you, with a disgusted face. You only chuckle at his reaction. He never changes.

The couple finally chooses what they’ll wear. You, Baek, Yeol and Soo head to the restaurant you loved since college. The Japanese shabu-shabu.

“Hmmm.” Baek hums as we enter the restaurant that was just across the street of the tuxedo shop. It smelled good at first but then your insides churned at the smell of raw fish.

Chanyeol glances at you worriedly. “Are you okay?” Baekhyun asks when you hold your mouth and run for the bathroom.

You puked your guts out in a public restroom. You were kind of dizzy and your head ached. You were feeling just fine earlier. You groan as you wipe your mouth with tissue. Was it something you ate yesterday? You try to recall the food you had.

You walk back to your friends who are now sitting on a table by the door. They look at you with so much worry in their eyes. They even got more protective than they originally were. “Hey, are you okay?” Baekhyun holds your arm in place. “Just an upset stomach, I guess.” You sat down beside Soo who was now eyeing you suspiciously.

“We eat the same thing all the time, Y/N, you know we share the food at your apartment. And my stomach is pretty okay.” Soo comments, earning a questioning stare from Baekhyun. “Maybe you should get it checked.” Chanyeol suggests, breaking off whatever Baek and Soo was thinking.

“I’ll go with her after lunch.” Kyungsoo said with finality despite your uncertainty regarding his decision. Maybe it’s just an upset stomach. There was no need to go to a hospital yet you were too tired to argue.

You eat your lunch with your friends as you discuss the upcoming wedding. You couldn’t help but be excited for the two. You’ve known them for so long and you know they deserve to be happy with each other. You can only imagine the kids Baek and Yeol would have. You’d be the best aunt, you assume.

After eating, you part ways with Chanyeol and Baek because they still had a shift for today while Kyungsoo took the whole afternoon off with you so you could get checked. He drives you to the hospital nearby and asks for his usual doctor.

He logs in with the nurse while you wait beside him. The nurse said to wait for a specific Dr. Kim Junmyeon to get us.

After a few moments, an angelic-faced man in a lab coat enters the lobby. “Dr. Kim!” Kyungsoo greeted the doctor who was in the lobby. “Kyungsoo, long time no see. Are you getting checked?” Soo shook his head at the doctor’s question.

“Actually, my friend is.” You smile at Dr. Kim when Soo gestures you. He nods at you, acknowledging your presence. “Follow me, miss. I know Kyungsoo chose me so he could listen on what I’ll say to you.” He smiled at you. You roll your eyes at your overprotective friend.

We enter his office. Kyungsoo said he was good with everything. Soo has done several general check-ups with him and he was pretty effective in finding out whatever you had. He was that discerning. You sat down in front of him while Kyungsoo just stood by the door. Dr. Kim was asking you questions about your stomach.

“I only started vomiting since the beginning of this week. Happens in the morning usually.” You say while Dr. Kim’s face looks like he’s deep into thinking.

“I’m thinking of a possibility but before we assume, take this with you. There’s a bathroom behind me.” He hands you a plastic cup. “Pee on this.” He advised professionally.

You go inside the bathroom behind him and do as you were told. You get out after finishing it, handing the cup to his now gloved hand. He receives the cup and calls in a nurse. After that, he was still patting your stomach and asking about other symptoms.

A few minutes passed, the nurse returned. Your heart beat against your chest as Dr. Kim examined the result that the nurse brought. You look at Kyungsoo and he assures you with a smile, even though he was unsure himself.

“Ms. Y/N, have you had sexual activity lately?” You blush at the question but still, you answer honestly. “No. The last time was when I went abroad with my friends.” You try to smile but it came out awkward especially when Kyungsoo was listening and was now back to judging you with his eyes.

He plops the paper down on his desk and looks at you straight in the eye. “Well, you are 5 weeks pregnant. Congratulations! I will tell the nurses to give you the vitamins you need and to remind you to come back on your eighth week.” Dr. Kim happily announced but you couldn’t bring yourself to be happy. You sat there, mouth agape and eyes weak.

“Oh shit.” You hear Kyungsoo curse behind you. Then, it hit you. You were going to be a mother? But how? You barely recovered from that trauma. You had to cut off Yixing and the company. You had to go to therapy for a month. How were you supposed to be a mother?

Silence was broken when the nurse called out Dr. Kim for another patient. He bowed at you and Soo, handing you all the vitamins a pregnant woman should get. He also gave you some advice regarding being in your first trimester.

After, you walk out the office with Kyungsoo. Your shoulders slumped and your knees wobbly.

Tears started racing down your face as Kyungsoo, hugged you as you reached the hospital’s entrance. “Soo, how could this happen?” Your voice was weak and faint, like your knees. “It’s okay, Y/N. It’s all going to be okay. We’ll be fine. The baby will be fine.” He pats your head and hugs you even tighter.

You couldn’t picture out yourself with a baby. You barely got better from the trauma. You barely survived. How could this happen? There wasn’t even a father figure present for this kid. You were afraid of the million possibilities you may face.

“Let’s get you home, okay? Stay here while I go get the car.” Kyungsoo breaks away from your hug and now walks to the parking lot. You look up at the sky as your hand goes over your stomach. You wondered aloud, hoping someone would understand. “Baby, what would I do with you?” You ask the child in your womb who was also clueless. You wanted to cry but then it’d stress the baby out. You didn’t want that. You may be unsure of everything but you know you will never hurt the child inside you. He or she was going to be a little you. Or a little Heesun. You couldn’t afford but want to love the kid.

You feel someone watching you. You immediately turn around just to see the man that has invaded your nightmares and stirred fear in you. The man who haunted you everywhere you went for the past month. The man who was supposed to be perfect. The father of this child. Sehun. How could he be here? The police arrested him, right? Horror once again enters your system as you fear your life and the life of the unborn child inside you. Hearing his voice and seeing his face brought back the terror he planted in your heart. Tears started streaming down your face now.

“I just happen to know I’d be an amazing father.”

[justmypartner]

Make it Work: Chapter 1

Summary: When offered a permanent position with the FBI, Hailey agrees to take it under one condition: Jay comes too. As their personal lives and work lives begin to change, the two partners find it increasingly difficult to navigate their complex relationship and manage their feelings for one another. *Picks up at the 8x03 bar scene.

Writer’s Note: I’m so excited to share my first multi-chapter fic. I really enjoyed Hailey’s FBI episode and how seamlessly she was able to adapt to that world, so I thought it would be fun to explore how Jay might fit into that world and how different the adjustment may be for him. When writing the first chapter I was really inspired by the song (what i wish just one person would say to me) by Lany, because I felt like it fit Jay’s perspective perfectly. As much as our guy loves Hailey, he was always going to put her wishes above his own. That’s what the song is all about, so you can see a few lines inspired by the song sprinkled throughout the chapter (the title is also taken from the song). Please enjoy Chapter 1 of Make it Work!

Read on AO3 or below

“Alright. Let’s do this, rip the bandaid off. What did the FBI offer you?” Jay said straightly, trying to hide the worry that coursed throughout his entire body.

Earlier that day he had discovered the FBI had Hailey on their radar, and he hadn’t stopped thinking about it since. After what went down with his last partner, simply hearing someone say “FBI” left a bad taste in his mouth. He wouldn’t openly admit it, but he was worried about Hailey taking the offer. Ever since she had returned from New York, she had been fairly quiet about how it went. Her feelings seemed indifferent, but part of him had to wonder why she would hide the fact that they were sending her job offers. He hated the idea of being left alone again, but ultimately he just wanted what was best for her, even if that meant moving thousands of miles away.

Jay had been seeing Hailey differently for a while. He couldn’t pinpoint exactly when his feelings shifted, but he knew things were different. If anyone asked, she was his partner and his best friend, but he knew deep down that she was more than that. There were even a handful of moments when he almost told her how he felt but Jay, never a man of openly expressing his feelings, failed to get a single word out every time. He had fought those feelings for so long, keeping them hidden deep in the depths of his closed-off heart, but her time away in New York proved this impossible. He had picked her up from the airport when she got back in Chicago, and the second he saw her he couldn’t deny the way she set his heart aflame. So, hearing that the FBI was trying to steal her away permanently was messing with his head. He had sat on his concern all day, but his patience was running thin.

“Mm okay. Joint level task-force, with the HIG, all interrogations, all high-level targets,” she told him, a slight smirk on her face as she awaited his reaction.

“Sure.. Sure, sure, sure, yeah, that sounds awesome,” he said sarcastically as she chuckled. “Is it good pay?” He asked her, a sense of defeat in his voice.

“Great pay. Honestly made me a little embarrassed about what we get paid,” she said with a smile. This was not what he was hoping for, but he pressed forward.

“Well, you’d probably be really good at it,” he responded, feigning support as the words killed him inside. He knew she would be good at it, there was no doubt in his mind. The job sounded perfect for her, but he just hated where it was and what it could mean for them.

“Yeah,” she muttered, pausing briefly and looking out the window as if her next words were lingering somewhere outside and she was trying to find them. “Yeah, I hope so because I told them I would take it,” she finally said, her eyes slowly traveling back to his. The smile on her face was replaced by a look of sincerity. He felt his heart drop into his stomach as he clenched his jaw, trying to conceal the myriad of emotions consuming him.

“Well, I.. I’m happy for you,” he said unconvincingly before bringing his glass back to his mouth, taking a large swig of his drink. He couldn’t look her in the eye because he knew she’d be able to read right through him. So, he focused on the bottom of his glass, fingers fidgeting with the rim waiting for her to say something.

“Yeah, well I should be saying the same to you,” she told him. With this, he raised his eyes back up to meet hers and returned her words with a raised brow, sending a questioning look her way.

“I told them I wasn’t going anywhere without my partner, so they took a look at your file and they were very impressed by your background. They said if you’re good enough for me to bargain with, you must be worth having on their team,” she paused briefly and he watched her swallow hard before her next words. “Jay the offer is extended to the both of us.. that is if it is something you’re interested in,” she said, tilting her head to the side as she tried to read his reaction.

A moment of what felt like his world falling apart was now being strung back together with a sliver of hope for the two of them. Being a fed was never in any of Jay’s plans. In fact, he always found himself carrying an unwarranted detestation for them that made those government positions sound completely unappealing. He never imagined he’d be willing to give up Chicago, let alone his position in Intelligence, especially for a job with the feds, but if it meant being with Hailey he was going to consider it. Romantically or not he knew he needed her in his life and as he told her not too long ago, he would follow her anywhere.

“I- wha- I-“ he stuttered out, not being able to form a coherent word.

“Look, I know it is a lot to ask of you. I know it may not seem fair of me to offer you up like that without asking first, but the way I figured it, we’re good at our jobs and we’re good together. I mean new job, new city, it all sounded so crazy to me at first. I’ve never pictured myself anywhere outside of CPD, but then I took a step back and realized what it could mean big picture. My time in New York, the cases I was working, they showed me just how big and bad this world can be. I mean I was chasing after dudes that make guys like Darius Walker look like frickin saints. The whole time I just kept thinking, I could really see myself doing this every day. I felt fulfilled in a way I hadn’t in years, but every night I’d go home, especially after the bad ones, and I felt like something was missing. Then one night after a really bad one I was sitting in my hotel room, wallowing in the heaviness of that day and my phone rang. It was you calling to check up because you had a bad case too and you needed whatever this thing is between us that always seems to work. That’s when I realized what it was that was missing. It was you,” she shrugged, the corners of her mouth curling up in a shameful smile.

“Hailey..” Jay said as his eyes glossed over with tears. He sat there silently, looking into the endless depth of her eyes and hoping the right words would come to him. His thoughts were jumbled and he was having trouble grounding himself in reality. The whiplash of thinking he was losing the most important person in his life to hearing her tell him her life wasn’t complete without him left him in a state of disorient. He was relieved when she continued on before he had the chance to stumble over words once more.  

“Look Jay, I don’t expect you to have an answer now. I just needed to tell you where I’m coming from so you’d have a full perspective to guide your decision. I know leaving Chicago, leaving our family at the 21st wouldn’t be easy, but I feel like this opportunity is something worth pursuing. I also think it’s something that would be made easier if we did it together,” she admitted, finishing her piece.

Her words echoed in his head as he seriously thought through the opportunity. Jay was wired to be a cop, to right wrongs, help victims find justice, and chase the highs of dangerous cases. He found his life’s purpose doing just that, starting in the Rangers and leading to his spot in Intelligence. He appreciated the fulfillment his work in Intelligence brought him, but what if he could do that on a much larger scale - with her by his side no less. All of a sudden he was picturing a life in New York and working at the FBI. He felt like it could make sense and it caught him by surprise, but it seemed clear.

“Do you remember when the unit was under siege and we thought it was the end of Intelligence? We had just gotten back from that major bust and we were talking about what would happen if we got shut down.. where we would go. Do you remember what I said to you?” He asked her, his newfound clarity allowed him to string a coherent thought together. She nodded in response.

“You told me you’re going where I go and that it’s hard to find a good partner,” she said softly, her eyes staying locked with his.

“I meant it then, and I mean it now. I’ve spent my whole life fighting to help people, and I like to think we’ve done some really great things in Intelligence. You were right when you said we’re good together, and if this job means we can make an even bigger difference than the one we do now, I’m all in,” he said, causing a big smile to form across her face.  

“Yeah?”

“Hell yeah. I mean I’d like to know more about the position and everything, but if you say it’s worth it, then I trust you.. we’ll make it work. Plus, our thing just isn’t the same over the phone. You’d be lost without me,” he told her with a cheeky smile, eliciting an eye roll from her.

“Yeah, you mean you’d be lost without me,” she responded, standing from her chair to grab her coat. Jay laughed and took the check before rising to put his coat on as well. As they made their way to the door, Jay turned to face Hailey as a concerned look overcame his face.

“Wait- have you planned on how we’re going to tell Voight about this?” He asked. She returned his question with an expression matching his.

“Uh ah, I didn’t get that far. I didn’t think you would actually agree to be honest.”

“Come on, we’ve built a pretty strong partnership here, at least part of you had to think there was a chance I’d say yes,” he told her.

“Yeah, no I wasn’t thinking about that. I was thinking the fact that it’s a job with the feds and the idea of having to wear a suit everyday would have left no room for consideration,” she said with a chuckle. She pushed her body against the door, grimacing at the sudden sensation of the cold Chicago wind against her face, leaving a suspended Jay stood in the doorway.

“Suit.. everyday.. I-“ he said upon realizing that part of the job he hadn’t considered.

“Woah, woah, woah, you already said yes, no turning back now,” she teased. He groaned and dragged his feet out the door to join her in the cold. They walked shoulder to shoulder down the street in a comfortable silence.

“That doesn’t sound so bad you know,” she said, breaking through the silence as they reached their cars. She turned to face him, her eyes carrying a glimmer he hadn’t noticed before.

“Oh yeah, what’s that?”

“Getting to see you in a suit every day,” she said confidently before realizing the coy nature of the statement and bashfully looking away. Jay could feel the heat rush to his face despite the chilling wind blowing against him. He smiled down at his feet, hoping if she could notice the redness of his cheeks, she accounted it to the cold. There was a long pause before he brought his eyes back up to hers once again.

“See you tomorrow?”

“Yeah,” she said, placing a hand on his chest lightly before passing him to get into her car.

Jay wasn’t sure where their future was going or what direction it would take them, but he knew as long as she was in his life, he was set. His eyes followed her as she got in her car and started the engine. She gave him a small wave before pulling out into the street. Yet again there he was suppressing his feelings for his partner, but this time it felt worth it. A lot in their lives was about to change, he didn’t need to add the heaviness of his feelings to the mix. He was anxious about what was to come, but he ultimately felt content with his decision.

[bokutosworld]

setsunai | oikawa tooru

setsunai. [noun, japanese]. a complicated sadness that painfully creeps through the heart. 

pairing: oikawa tooru x f!reader

wc: 2.5k words, established relationship, falling out, purely angst. (lil bit of fluff in the flashbacks which are italicized!)

summary: oikawa knows all good things come to an end, but the both of you are not yet ready, still holding on to that string that is keeping you together. 

--

no one really gets a warning when their relationship is on the edge of falling apart. like the first time you saw oikawa in the hallways of aoba johsai and got your breath taken away, you just woke up one day and knew.

it was the morning of his departure for the team's one-week training camp. still on the bed wrapped under the cozy covers, you heard rustling inside the room as he was opening drawers, taking clean clothes and packing them in his luggage. a scowl was on his face and he was scoffing as he rushed all over the place. you think his bad mood was possibly due to the fact that he woke up earlier than usual to go to the airport.

'what time will you be leaving on wednesday,' you ask him, voice devoid of any emotion, over dinner last week. now that he was a professional volleyball player, moments like this - seated together at the table and enjoying homecooked meals were rare - and though you were mostly used to spending not much time together, you couldn't help but get disheartened every time he told you he was leaving.

oikawa sighs, running a hand to smooth the creases on his forehead as he answers, 'fuck, i forgot about that.' he fishes his phone from his pockets and checks his schedule. 'our flight's at six-thirty in the morning.'

you nod in understanding and offer, 'want me to help pack your things in advance? how long will you be gone this time?' he seems to ease at your suggestion and reaches to bring your hands over his lips, 'i'd appreciate that a lot, babe. i'd also need you to wake me up too, wouldn't want miss it. it's only for a week, i'll be back before you know it.' he winks and you break out in comfortable laughter, something that you haven't done in a long while.

it was as if your adrenaline levels shot up as you scrambled to get up and assist oikawa. the clock read 4:25 am and you can feel his panic. seeing that he was still in his sleepwear, you moved to place your hand over his shoulder, 'go wash up and change your clothes. i'll finish here.' but he swatted you away, albeit rather harshly that your sleepiness left. he exhales and lowers his head before muttering an apology for his action and leaves you to take care of his things.

it only took 20 minutes for you to organize and gather all that he needs in the bag. you waited for him in the living room, sipping a cup of hot cocoa to calm your nerves before apologizing. mentally, you were kicking yourself for forgetting to arrange his belongings and you already knew that he was disappointed. heck he had every right to be mad at you now, but you know he was restraining himself.

when he emerges all prepped and ready to go, you stand and give his bag. his passport was in your hands, together with the tickets, just to make sure he won't lose them. oikawa grabs and places them on the pocket inside his coat and as you were about to say you were sorry, he turns and makes a beeline to the door. he walks out of the room, no goodbyes, no kisses, no see you laters. and you were struck with the scary thought if he would still return to your home.

'i miss you, tooru,' you cry out to him over the phone. oikawa laughs and mimics your voice, 'i miss you too, y/n.' he thinks that he has never been this in love before. sure, he had his fair share of flings but, as cliche as it would sound, he knows you were different. though you were a year his junior, you were the only one who gets him and was willing to standby his side - through sunshine and rainy days, through wins and losses, through sickness and health.

he remembers your nearing college graduation. 'i wish you could be here next week. i want you next to me when i receive my diploma,' he swears his heart drops at your confession. 'me too, y/n. i know how hard you've worked for that,' he smiles even though you cannot see it. the past four years of long distance relationship - oikawa being in argentina and you in japan - was definitely not easy. but somehow, it worked, thanks to the constant calls and messages sent. despite the time difference, oikawa made sure to be there for you when your thesis mates were giving you hell, to stay up with you when you were writing your papers or reviewing for exams.

'i mean it when i say that i couldn't have done it with you, tooru. you're my anchor and you've been keeping me steady in this rocky life,' you sweetly declared. 'just wait patiently, sweetheart. i'll be there before you know it.' you thought it was one of his jokes, words that he would say to put your worried mind at ease. so you were certainly not expecting to see him standing at the door of the auditorium, holding a bouquet of your favorite flowers, as you received your diploma on stage. as soon as the program ended, you ran up to him and oikawa braced himself for a hug. when you pulled away, oikawa immediately brought his hands to wipe your tears and said the one thing you've been waiting to hear, 'i'm home.'

you hear the door open, followed by heavy footsteps dragging its way to the living room. usually, his arrival would be accompanied by his declaration, 'y/n, i am home!', and you would drop whatever you were doing to welcome him with open arms. but today, the both of you were greeted by silence. oikawa knows you were probably working in the bedroom and as much as he missed you, he settles down on the couch and drifts off to sleep.

oikawa didn't like fights, he learned from his parents that one should never sleep on an argument which was how he found himself on your front gate and pressing the doorbell to your house. he was anxious, remembering the pained look on your face when he lashed out at you. he was well-aware that you were only looking out for him, so as soon as he said those hurtful words and saw you running away, he wanted nothing more than to fix what he has done.

'what are you doing here,' you said as soon as you opened the gate. 'go home, tooru, it's late and you shouldn't-.' oikawa pulls you to his chest, a tight hold keeping you from moving away. 'i'm sorry, babe. i don't know what took over me, but i wouldn't say those again, forgive me.' wrapping your hands around him, you release a breath you didn't know you were holding and say, 'okay.' you pull away and bring your hands to his face, squishing him and he pouts. 'i don't want you overworking yourself. you're already working hard enough, i just want to remind you to take it easy sometimes.' and as he looks deep into your eyes that night, he thinks about what he could have done in his past life to deserve someone like you.  

oikawa comes to his senses when he feels a warm blanket being put over him. opening his eyes, he catches glimpse of your shadow moving in the dark and reaches out to grab your hand. feeling his touch on yours, you crouch down beside the sofa and push away the hair that has fallen over his face. 'do you need anything,' you ask. he knows he should say something, an apology, an assurance that everything was okay. but if he was being honest, the past few months has been different. the shared home which has been his safe haven has been feeling less and less of an oasis to him. the relationship, he feels, to be something he was doing out of an obligation, of a years-long promise he couldn't dare break. so he keeps quiet and you return to work.

for weeks following that night, things have never been the same. breakfasts are shared in complete utter silence, car rides when he would drop you at the office have been filled with ambient music. no more cheeky texts and random funny images popping in your inbox at random times of the day. like a plane making its descent at its destination, it seems as if your relationship has reached its breaking point and the story that you thought would have a happily-ever-after has made a turn for the worse.

after work, you make a trip to the supermarket and grab ingredients for oikawa's favorite dish. you still held hope and want to try mending things before they become truly irreparable. but that evening, he went home late. he sees you sitting on the dining room drinking the half-empty bottle of wine, the table neatly arranged with plates with his favorite food at the center. 'have you eaten? i made this for you.'

his heart aches at the sight of you, sadness glossing over your eyes and the forced smile you were wearing. he's always felt grateful whenever you would cook, knowing that it wasn't your strong suit. he always treasured moments when he could enjoy your food, however right now, he feels anything but that. 'why are you still up? i texted you i'd be home late,' he mutters, immediately making his way to clear the table. 'you shouldn't have bothered to do this.' he takes the drink you were holding, 'and stop drinking too much.'

as soon as he finishes cleaning, he walks to the bedroom but what you say makes him stop in his tracks. 'can we talk?' his mind and heart races, already knowing what you wanted to discuss. but he wasn't ready and in your intoxicated state, he thought you couldn't handle the results of the conversation. 'tomorrow morning. you're drunk tonight, nothing good would come out of it.'

however, you follow him, wrapping your hands around his wrists to make him stop. 'you're not the person i know anymore,' he hears. slowly, oikawa turns around and he sees wet tears threatening to spill from your eyes. 'why haven't you been speaking to me, tooru. these days, i see you, i think about you, but you're not my person anymore.'

there was no going out of this now, oikawa thought. like waves breaking the shore, the ending was fast approaching and he wonders if there was any way to soften the blow. so he pulls you close to him. the both of you lost in the embrace as if you were savoring the last few moments of warmth together. no one speaks and oikawa is scared that if he does, he would just break you.

'tooru,' you were now weeping. 'say something, please.'

he doesn't know where to begin. he can't bring himself to say that time wasn't on your side, that his volleyball career was taking off and it was getting hard to see you anymore. after all, he thought that being busy was just a lame excuse since the two of you made it through high school and university. how can he phrase that he thought love was enough but lately, he had nothing left to give you anymore.

'is there another person?' you ask, but oikawa was quick to say no. he cups your face, thumbs grazing over your cheeks to erase the tears. 'there is no one else.' he presses his forehead to yours, eyes closing as he takes a deep breath, it's just... it's not the same anymore.'

he continues, 'you are the best thing to happen in my life, y/n. i could never betray you like that.' you look at him, eyes asking the question why. 'i got selfish. in the process of improving myself and focusing in my career, i lost sight of you. i haven't been able to take care of you, to give what you deserve, to give you the world.'

'and the worst part was that i saw this coming.' he moves to sit on the couch, face hidden in his hands. 'i knew one day i'd hurt you but i still kept you around. and i am sorry.' this time, you sit beside him, turning his body to face you, 'all those years, it was my decision to stay. so please, don't give up on us now.'

'are we really doing this? are we moving in together,' you were excited, standing in the middle of the empty condo and already imagining the many memories that you and oikawa would create and cherish. he sneaks in from behind, snuggling his face to your neck. 'hmm, we are doing this. but only for a while, when we become married, i'll buy us a house.' you hum in approval, 'with backyard and pool?' oikawa chuckles and pecks your cheek, 'yes, with backyard and pool.' he twirls you around and brings your faces closer, 'your wish is my command.' you smile and close the gap, putting your lips on his to mark the important day.

was this really the finish line? in the very apartment where you made promises and envisioned a future together, is this where seven years of happiness will end? that was the agonizing thought plaguing yours and oikawa's mind right now.

'we'll only end up hating each other if we continue this,' he speaks up after minutes of eerie silence and you couldn't help but laugh dryly. he always had a strong resolve and it was ripping you apart how there was nothing to be done to make him change his mind. so you stand up, knees almost giving way at the thought of leaving him, 'alright. i'll sleep over at my cousin's then.'

he looks up at you, gaze burning deep to your soul, 'no, i'll leave.' but you push him down and snap, 'oikawa tooru, stay. i'll go, i can't bear to spend the night here. it will only break me more.' oikawa sees you to the door, though you argued that there was no need for such gesture. 'i'll go here in the morning when you're at practice to get my stuff.'

'i'm really sorry, y/n.' you shush him, smiling a bit to hide the fact that your heart was currently shredding to pieces.

you try to lighten the mood, 'i really want to get away from you right now.' oikawa chuckles along with you. 'it hurts, tooru. but i'm glad we had the chance to be together. thank you for the memories you have given me. i will continue to wish for your success. make me proud.' and with one last kiss goodbye, you walk away, leaving a piece of you with him and you wonder if things can ever get better from here.

[deathonyourtongue]

Resurrection | 11

Summary: A ragtag team of Spec-Ops operators are brought out of retirement for all the wrong reasons. When the dust settles, only the best will be left standing. Pairing: Pablo Schreiber x OFC, Henry Cavill x OFC (listen, she gets with the whole team, okay? Don’t lie, you would too.) Word Count: 2.1K Warnings: Nothing much really. A/N: Shit hath hitteth the fan. Again.

“Ooh, smells like semen in here!” Jake says with far too much enthusiasm, smiling brightly at me as he pours two cups of coffee, doctoring mine just how I like it. 

“Shut up. If you or anyone else brings it up, be ready to be on the receiving end of Beef’s fist,” I mutter, giving Jake the only warning he’ll get from me as I take my seat at the conference table, rolling my neck side to side, amazed at just how sore I am. 

“My lips are sealed. I just gotta know one thing: What was he holding out for?”

“Me,” I whisper, watching as Jake’s eyebrows go sky high and he leans back in his seat, silenced. 

“I mean, we all sort of suspected. He’s not exactly subtle about...well, anything, but you never seemed to catch on, so we left it alone.” He shrugs, his smile more genuine this time, Jake looking truly touched by the revelation. 

“Yeah, well, next time do us both a favor and tell me sooner.”

“And spare him the blue balls? Where’s the fun in that? Was it a mess? Did you have to stick the shower head up there after?”

“Jake, shut up!” I crow, throwing a spare pen at him just as Rick walks through the door, breakfast in hand. 

“Literally the last two people I expected to be up early after last night, but I’ll take it. Where’s the rest of the gang?” Rick asked, setting the bags of food and the tray of coffee down in the center of the table. 

“What did you get up to last night?” It’s my turn to interrogate Jake, my eyebrow going up as I watch his smile go impish. 

“Her name was Star and she did things to me that are deadly sins in most religions.” Jake says with as much seriousness as he can muster for all of 2.5 seconds, his face breaking into a smile just as he takes a sip of his coffee.

“Just be glad you weren’t stuck in a box with him for more than 24 hours,” Benji mutters as he takes the seat to my left, squeezing my shoulders before sitting down. 

“Morning,” Max mumbles as he sits to my right, avoiding eye contact with everyone, including me.

“Save the act, Beef. We all know you got some,” Dom cuts in, moving to sit next to Rick, leaning back in his seat, and grinning like that cat that ate the canary. 

“Congratulations on losing your V-card, bro,” Flip adds as he comes in, patting Max on the back as he scoots by him. 

“Alright, enough. What d’we got, Rick?” I cut the shenanigans short, knowing if I let it go on any longer, the guys will yank Max’s chain a little too hard first thing in the morning. Even I’m not that patient before coffee. 

“Well, since we let Wallace literally walk out the front door, we have to chase again. I asked intel for his whereabo--”

There’s barely time to hear the blast before the shockwave hits us, taking out the bulletproof glass as if it were single pane. I feel Max’s body collide into mine, before we both hit the ground hard. Car alarms and smoke detectors go off in nearby buildings, making it clear the blast came from the outside in, but leaving no doubt we’re the targets.

Breaching charges come next, one at the front door, one at the secondary exit. I finally open my eyes as I get to my feet, keeping low and feeling Max’s hand clamped around the back of my neck. Though smoke fills the meeting room, I get enough of a glance to know that the guys are all okay, each of them in the same crouched position I am, all of us moving with precision. 

Max pushes me into my room, slamming the door behind me. Without hesitation, I grab a t-shirt, vest, pants and socks, throwing everything on in a hurry. My boots go last, the laces double knotted so I don’t have a slip-up later. I pull my hair into a messy knot before grabbing my M4 and checking the mag. Seeing it fully loaded, I push it back into place and slam it home, ready to go. 

The knock at my door comes just in time, and I knock back once to let whoever is on the other side know I’m ready and armed. Pulling it open, I fall in behind Flip, covering him and bringing up the tail end of our little procession down the hall. Up front, I hear Dom call out targets, he and Rick taking out three men without hesitation. 

“Let’s move!” Rick calls out, and I pivot so that as I move forward, I can cover us against anyone who might want to come up behind. Within moments of doing so, two of Wallace’s men come out of the meeting room and into the hallway. Leveling my M4, I take four shots, ensuring both men’s deaths. 

Just as I pass the last of the bedrooms, I feel my body get pulled sideways. With little time to react, I let my gun fall to my side and pull my knife out of my vest. Before I can sink it into the nearest limb, I feel his arm go around my throat in a rear naked choke, the man squeezing hard enough to make me see stars. I only have six seconds before the chokehold takes me out, and with gunfire sounding ahead of us, I know the boys won’t be coming to save me. Stepping forward, I pivot towards the man’s thumb, palm striking his hand away as I go. Out of the hold, I don’t waste time, wrapping his neck in a guillotine choke and cranking with every ounce of anger I feel towards the man who’s made our lives a living hell for the last few weeks. 

It takes a second, but I feel the distinct pop of tendon and bone breaking and from how limp the man goes, I know he’s gone. Swinging my gun back into my hands, I check my corners and sprint to catch up with the team, reaching them as they start going down the exterior stairs of the building. At street level, more of Wallace’s men are posted up, guns aimed directly at us. I pause for a moment, eyeing the most imperative man to take out, and with a quick check through my scope, put two through his forehead, taking him out just before he can let a shot off; a shot that would’ve surely hit Rick where it counts. Taking out two more men before moving again, I sprint for our car, slipping in just as Dom puts the pedal to the floor. 

“Everyone good?” Benji calls, his eyes wide as they dart around the van, watching carefully as we all pat ourselves down. Unlike our last shootout, I don’t find a hole where it shouldn’t be. Still, I’m not surprised when I find Max’s fingers lifting my chin. 

“Jesus,” he hisses as I turn my head out of his grip, nodding. 

“Yeah, it’s gonna be muteville for me tomorrow unless I can ice this soon,” I acknowledge, resting my head back against the seat as the pain finally kicks in. 

Our secondary safehouse is nowhere near as luxurious as the one we use for headquarters, being nothing but a small, modified warehouse, but it has water, ice, and a place for me to lean back while I ice my neck. Max brings me the bag and gingerly sets the ice down on my neck, smoothing my hair back after. With a gentle kiss to my forehead, he takes his seat next to me, his gaze focusing on the screens where Rick is pulling up traffic cameras.

“Home Office is going to love knowing you broke the Freedom Act just for one man,” Max deadpans, all of us focusing on a different part of the screen, trying to figure out where Wallace and his men went after the bombing. 

“I’ll have a look at security cam footage from right after the stairs, see if I can pinpoint what direction he went in,” Dom says, pulling his laptop closer before entering the same camera network the traffic ones are on. If nothing else, I’m glad we’re in London because as one of the most surveilled cities in the world, the chances of not finding him are slim to none.

Silence falls over the room as we all study the feeds, looking for any sign of the black vans Wallace and his men got into after the bombing. It seems like hours go by before Dom finally speaks up, his voice terse as he checks and double-checks his findings.

“Cameras show him headed east-”

“I got him. He’s on A12,” Rick interjects, standing to get a closer look at his square, where the two vans are headed in the exact direction Dom had said. 

“A12 ends at London City. He’s gonna try and hop ship!” Max is the one on his feet now, reaching for his phone. 

Taking the ice off my neck, I sit up, well-versed in what’s about to happen. Joint ops are always a mess, but we need the airport locked down with him and his team in it, and with the head start Wallace has, we’ll never make it in time. 

Max paces as the call rings, his face making it clear he needs the person on the other end to pick up, and pick up quickly. As he waits, we all start getting ready. Vest plates are checked, mags get loaded and stowed, and extra ammo is stuffed into a singular go-bag one of us will carry just in case. 

“John. Hey mate, I need a favor and I need it fast. No questions right now. I need you to lock down London City as quickly as you can. No making calls to anti-terror, understood? This one’s ours and ours alone. He’s an animal and we need to put him down. Can you do that, mate? Good, thank you. What’s your ETA?”

Max listens intently to his friend on the other line even as he starts prepping his own gear, knowing we don’t have much time. 

“Great. I’ll see you there, mate. I’ll explain over a pint when it’s all over, I promise.” Closing the call, Max grabs his gear, on my heels as we all rush out the door and back into the truck. 

We check and recheck everything as Max drives towards the airport we know Wallace will be trying to fly out of. The silence in the truck is deafening, all of us tensed and ready for what we hope will be the end of this nightmare. 

London City’s facade reminds me of a used car dealership, all concrete and glass, with the airport’s title written in blue letters across the top of the entrance. It’s not a stunning piece of architecture, and despite its prime location, it’s nowhere near as heavily-trafficked as Heathrow or Gatwick. I try my best to keep my face neutral as we arrive; by the amount of lights and personnel standing around outside the building, the Mets weren’t exactly subtle about their approach. The chances that Wallace is still in the building drop more and more, the closer we get.

Max tears out of the car like a bull in a china shop, eyes narrowed with laser precision as he marches inside to find his friend. We follow suit, scanning the area for any sign of Wallace or his men, knowing he could be waiting to spring another trap on us at any moment. 

“What the hell happened, John?” Max barks as he makes a beeline for his friend, having no idea how scary he looks when he’s on the warpath. 

“We were too late, mate. He had a private jet set to take off. Wheels were up by the time we got to the counters. We’re pulling surveillance and the flight manifest as we speak.” John, to his credit, manages to face Max without shrinking in his presence, unintimidated by the rabid dog routine he tends to default to whenever a plan is going south.

Appeased by the quick reaction to missing their primary objective, Max backs off, scrubbing a hand over his face as he turns back towards us.

“We’re all in consensus that he wants to recreate the night he was arrested, correct?” He asks as we all gather around, ready to rejig the plan as necessary. Everyone nods, the rest of the team’s anger rising to the level of Max’s, none of us wanting a repeat of that night. “So he’s headed south. Probably back to Libya.” 

The flight manifest appears before anyone can say another word, and as Max reads over the report, I know the bad news is about to be compounded. 

“He took a hostage. FUCK!”

[flamehairedwritings]

The Fiancé: Chapter Seven

Characters: Steve Rogers x Female Plus-Size Reader

Rating: The whole series will be E, 18+ ONLY

Summary: A lie about your best friend at a Christmas party spirals into world news, but a previously unknown threat leaves you having to now live the lie of Steve Rogers being your fiancé.

Originally based on the prompt ‘Character A’s ex will be at the Christmas Party A is attending. Character B poses as A’s fiancé,’ by @alloftheprompts.

A/N: The whole series will include swearing, alcohol, threat, violence, apartment sharing, protected sex, and more tags to be added!

The Fiancé Masterlist

All Works Masterlist

Read on AO3

Please don’t copy or steal my work, and please don’t post it on any other sites; credit does not count.

The Interview

THURSDAY

Your alarm going off for the third time is like Hell’s bells itself.

Groaning like you’ve just risen from the dead, you fling your arm out, trying to find your phone amongst the covers. Did you go to sleep holding it? Did you drop it somewhere? Did you put it on the beside tabl─ No, there it is.

Scooping it up, your thumb taps across it, trying to find the section on the screen that will get it to stop, eventually finding it.

Releasing a long, slightly steadying breath, your eyes remain closed as you take stock.

There’s a dull ache in your head, uncomfortable and constant, the champagne and cocktails betraying you. Your skin still feels strange from where you scrubbed it. And...

Today’s the fucking day.

You’ve been dreading it all week. Shoving it to the back of your mind, despite the seemingly constant reminders from everyone around you.

And you know you’re already irritable, a concoction of hungover irritable, barely any sleep irritable and just fucking plain I hate this shit irritable. You’d tossed and turned all night, going over and over and over in your mind what they could ask. You’d thought about Marise, too, about the car attack, about Steve.

Opening your eyes, you roll onto your back and look up at the ceiling.

Marise.

The paint.

The car attack.

Steve has stalkers.

Someone had tried to break in.

That’s a lot for one gal to take in.

Humour is a good coping mechanism... for now.

I wonder if SHIELD will cover my therapy fees.

You want to laugh, but you no longer find any of this ridiculous or dumb.

And today’s the fucking day.

If you don’t get up, Nat will probably just burst in and get you up.

I wonder how she’s doing with all of this.

You make a mental note to actually ask her, and shove the covers off, slowly pushing yourself up in case your head or stomach protests. Thankfully, neither do, but the ache lingers in your mind.

Padding into the bathroom, you turn the light on and inspect the remnants of the night before.

Your outfit, blue and piled on the floor, the blue-tinged cream towels in the sink, and the smell of the paint that lingers in the air. You kick the outfit aside, not wanting to deal with it right now, and take the towels out of the sink, dropping them down onto the floor, too.

That’s this evening’s problem.

You picture yourself getting in later, the interview over, the day done, and you hold onto it, hold onto that, after today, there’s just two days left. Two days and then it’s all over.

— 

After showering, and trying to get the last, lingering stains of blue off, you dress and step out of your room. You expect there to be a horde of agents again or a PR team or a stylist or someone like that but... it’s quiet.

All you can hear is the gentle sound of a spoon stirring in a mug.

Moving down the stairs, you glance into the kitchen and there’s Steve, dressed in black jeans, a light blue button up tucked into them, his hair perfect.

It’s always fucking perfect.

He meets your gaze as you reach the bottom step and smiles.

“Good morning.”

“Morning,” you answer, a lot less brightly, and slide into one of the stools at the island, resting your chin in your hands.

  A corner of his mouth lifts a little higher as he folds his arms, leaning back against the counter. “How’re you feeling?”

You look up and meet his gaze.

He chuckles and nods. “All right, copy that. Can I get you anything?”

Do you really want to eat? You feel a little queasy, hungover-queasy and nervous-about-an-interview queasy, though you don’t want your stomach to rumble throughout the whole thing. Ugh... Maybe just a drink, then.

“I could do with a glass of water.”

“All right. Let’s get you hydrated again.”

You exhale a long breath as he turns and opens a cupboard, pulling a glass out.

“Where is everyone?” you ask after a moment as he fills it with water.

“I told them not to come until 11.”

You glance at the clock on the wall. That gives you about half an hour of peace, then. You smile your gratitude as he places the glass before you, and you take a long drink as he returns to his position, his arms folding across his broad chest once more.

Slightly breathless, you lower the glass and lick your lips, then look back up at him.

You both smile, his easy, yours a little tight.

There’s that awkwardness again... and that feeling that he’s trying to stay up beat and protect you, that you’re fragile and will shatter at a moments notice.

Well... After yesterday...

“How are you feeling?” you ask before he can have the chance to.

He nods, his tongue running behind his teeth. “Fine. Well...”

You pause, watching him.

He sighs and rests his hands against the edge of the counter behind him. “... Same as you’re feeling, I imagine.”

You give a small smile, playing with your hands in your lap. “Absolutely shit, then?”

He chuckles, raising his eyebrows. “Somethin’ along those lines.”

You nod a few times, looking down at your hands before glancing up at him, a wider smile pulling at your lips. “... We could just run away, you know. You’re an expert at being secretive, I’m dying to go on holiday.”

His smile matches yours. “You think we could make it to the airport before anyone notices?”

You pull a faux face of annoyance. “What, you don’t have a private jet?”

“Not that I know of.”

“Well, it’s the least SHIELD could give you.”

He chuckles, his gaze dropping to the ground as you tap your fingers against your glass, you’re smile lingering.

“Are you nervous?” you ask quietly.

He glances up at you, slightly surprised. “Me? Uh... Yeah, a little.”

“Why? You’ve done interviews before, you did those school videos, and you were part of that show in the 40s.”

“Yeah, but—”

“This isn’t any different.”

He blinks slightly, then shrugs. “Yeah, I guess you’re right, I—”

“No,” you interrupt with a sigh, your heart sinking as you close your eyes for a moment before looking at him. “Shit, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make it into some kind of a competition or invalidate how you feel. Or snap. I know this is just as shitty for you.”

He looks at you, the smile returning to his lips. “It’s all right, I get it. At least we’re in this shittiness together, huh?”

You give a smile, wrapping your hands around the glass.

... Except we’re not. I’m the one finding things out last, I’m the one getting abuse and paint thrown at me, I’m the one who... well, all of that pales in comparison to someone wanting to kill him.

Unreasonable. That’s what you’re being.

God, I hate being irritable.

And you’re going to have to spend the next three hours acting like you’re the happiest person in the entire world.

It’s three hours. We’ll be fine.

—

You don’t fucking feel fine.

In yet another SUV, heading, speeding, more like as Nat’s driving, towards the America Today studio, your stomach is twisting and turning.

I should’ve said I felt sick. Should’ve said yesterday was too much and I can’t cope with today, everyone would have understood.

... Yeah, they would have, and it’s fucking true, you don’t think you can cope with today... but you wouldn’t have been able to forgive yourself. This is the last big chance to find any more suspects.

Suspects, hang on...

Licking your lips, you look at Nat.

“What happened with the person who rammed me and Sam? Where are they?”

“In SHIELDs custody.”

Your eyebrows raise as she doesn’t go on, and you glance at Sam sat beside her. “... So... What’s going on with them, who are they?”

Nat answers. “They’re being interrogated, but they’re not giving up much.”

Sounds like someone I know.

“Are they recognised on any databases, though? Or anything like that?”

Sam shifts in his seat slightly.

“No, they’re not. Not yet.”

You look at her, your stomach sinking. “So...”

It’s Steve who answers this time, your gaze darting to him. “So we might not find out who we’re dealing with and have to rely on guys like the one in custody to give their buddies up and work out the network from there.”

His expression is open and honest, but you wonder how his own words make him feel; that they don’t know the people who want to kill him, that this is a new threat and they might never be able to find them all.

Because it’s made your fucking heart race.

“Right.” Well, I did want honesty. “... Well, guess today’s pretty fucking important then, huh?” you smile, wanting, needing, to lighten the tone.

Steve matches your smile as Nat keeps her eyes on the road and Sam lets out a good-natured chuckle. You glance at Nat.

Yeah, I need to ask her how she’s doing.

The SUV starts to slow and, oh, fuck we’re here. In yet another underground parking lot, I’m sick of these things.

As the guard at the barrier checks Nat’s ID and registers you all, you stare at the back of Sam’s seat. It’s terrifying that they might not know who they’re dealing with, but it’s also the motivation you need to make today go well and smooth and without anyone suspecting anything.

I can do this, I can do this, I can do this...

After you’re waved through, Nat parks on the next level down in a designated space of the quiet, filled lot. As you all get out of the car, Sam the only one staying, there’s the quiet sound of an elevator arriving at the level and the doors sliding open. Heels on concrete echo across the lot and as you round the SUV you’re greeted by the sight of two burly security guards and a beaming woman with brown hair in a tight bun wearing a mint-green pant-suit.

“Good afternoon!” she announces, striding towards you all. “On behalf of America Today, I’d like to welcome you and thank you for choosing us to tell your story!”

You smile automatically as Nat says, “Thanks. Shall we go up?”

She’s already heading towards the elevator and the woman appears briefly flustered before she beams again and gestures for you to follow her. “Of course, everyone’s ready and waiting for you!”

Oh, fuck...

You swallow and your heart pounds against your rib-cage as you all move to the elevator. Then you feel Steve’s hand taking yours, lacing your fingers together. You glance up at him and a corner of his mouth lifts in a small smile which you manage to return.

Right, happy couple.

Or did he do that to comfort me.

I don’t know anymore.

There’s space for you all in the large elevator, you and Steve standing in the middle, your hands still linked, and the woman, Maeve, she introduces herself as, rattles on about there being a small buffet set up if you’re hungry with any kind of drink that you want, to let her know if you need anything, they can run out and get anything, anything at all, everyone’s so happy and excited, this is going to be such a big and historic day and...

As she goes on and on, you stare at the back of one of the security guards, trying to keep your breathing under control. You wouldn’t be surprised if they could all hear your heart. You feel like you can, it pounding in your ears.

You don’t realise that if Steve was an average man, your grip would be considered uncomfortably tight. Instead, he just keeps ahold of your hand, glancing at you, his jaw moving.

He hates that he can’t say anything to comfort you. Then he thinks, hang on...

The elevator slows to a halt, and the doors open. People walk about, talking on phones, talking to each other, you can hear other people calling to each other, the sound of equipment moving. Stepping out of the elevator behind the security guard, you realise you’re on a set, a horde of cameras to the right, obscuring what must be where the interview will be, to the left is a small foyer area and four doors leading into other rooms.

“Righty...” Maeve says as she turns to you all, still beaming. “Steve, if you could follow me, Y/N, Emma here will help you get ready.”

Hang on, what...

Steve’s hand leaves yours as Maeve gestures for him to follow and a woman with a warm smile and short, black, coiled hair approaches. You turn to Steve to give a small smile and maybe crack a joke about never seeing him again, when his hand lifts and settles on the back of your neck. Blinking, you don’t move as he leans forward and presses a gentle kiss to your forehead.

“See you in a minute, sweetheart,” he says as he draws back with an easy smile, his hand dropping and his eyes twinkling, and all you can do is stare at those fucking broad shoulders as he follows after Maeve because, what.

...

...

... uh...

Your brain might have actually disappeared. 

Happy couple.

Or did he do that to comfort me.

I. Don’t. Know. Any. More.

Emma clears her throat quietly and your gaze darts to her as Nat says, “Y/N.”

“Sorry, what?” Your gaze now darts to Nat, who stands with her arms folded, an eyebrow raised and... oh, no. A faint smirk on her lips.

“Go with Emma.”

Your face warm, you nod and look to her, smiling widely as she does the same. “Sorry, yes, lead the way.”

Hoping she’ll just chalk your moment there down to love-sickness, you follow after her as she takes you to one of the doors.

“How are you doing?” she says as she opens the door for you, letting you go in first, and you raise your eyebrows slightly as you consider the question.

I can be nervous. I can show that I’m nervous. Real fiancée or not, I can be nervous.

“I’m pretty nervous, actually.”

You take a seat in the closest comfortable-looking chair facing a large mirror as she closes the door, and it muffles the sounds of the set.

Thank God.

She smiles empathetically as she opens one of the many bags on the table under the mirror and searches through it, meeting your gaze in the reflection. “I can imagine it is. That’s perfectly normal, though, and everyone here just wants you to be comfortable.”

Everyone but my own brain.

You just return her smile, though, clasping your hands together on your lap. “That’s comforting. How are you?”

Her smile brightens. “I’m fine, thank you, I’m excited. I’ve always been a Cap’ fan, and it’s nice to meet you, too.” Emma’s smile falters a little as her features soften. “I’m so sorry to hear about what happened yesterday.”

As she starts to apply foundation to your face, your gaze shifts to the mirror, looking at yourself. Even you can tell your demeanour changes slightly at the memory. “Thank you.”

The brush on your skin is gentle and light as she blends the foundation in. “I wouldn’t be surprised if you feel that everyone hates you, but I can tell you that’s not true.”

You glance at her in the reflection, quiet.

She sighs softly, leaning back and meeting your gaze in the mirror. “Oh, girl... The world doesn’t hate you, all right? My friends and I were talking about it this morning, hoping you’d be okay and know that that was just one person’s feelings... and from what I’ve read, she’s not exactly... stable.”

As she resumes brushing the foundation on, moving down to blend it into your neck where you know there’s still some patches of faint blue, you swallow hard because 1) you’re hungover and therefore more sensitive than usual, and 2) you forgot how kind people can be.

One negative, albeit horrible, experience has made you forget that.

“Yeah, but, you know... It’s the classic thing of you can hear nice things but you focus on the bad,” you murmur, your hands twisting together in your lap.

“I know. I’m not gonna name-drop but I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had people, people who would surprise you, sit in this very chair and think that the whole world hates them after hearing just a couple of bad things.”

You look at her as she straightens and roots through another bag. Part of you thinks you shouldn’t trust her, shouldn’t be telling her these things because she works for the studio and could tell someone and then it’d be a whole news story that you wouldn’t be able to escape and... But, no. Your feelings are right on this one, and you trust her.

She pulls out a small box of powder and takes another brush, starting to swipe it onto your skin. “My friends and I are huge fans of yours, anyway.”

You exhale a faint laugh as your eyebrows raise. “Really?”

“Yeah,” she beams, brushing at your jaw. “I know we don’t know you, but, I don’t know, we just like you.”

“Well, thanks,” you say with a smile, even though that makes you feel a little strange.

“You’ve got some people in your corner, don’t worry,” Emma nods, straightening up. “Now...” Placing the powder and brush down, she places her hands on her hips. “... Can I do a little eyeshadow?”

“Sure, why not.”

At this moment in time, you’d let her do anything because she’s just so bloody nice.

And maybe it’ll make me look more alive.

You close your eyes as Emma chats away about a TV show she’s been watching, and it’s a nice distraction. For a little while you can pretend you’re having your make-up done and that’s all. She even gives you a head massage, files your nails and paints a clear polish over them, and brushes your outfit down with a lint-roller.

Of course, it doesn’t last long, though.

“... and there we go,” she announces as she stands back, and you open your eyes and look at yourself in the mirror.

Your skin looks smooth, there’s a little blush on your cheeks, she’s swept some eyeshadow over your lids that compliments your eye colour, added a little mascara and eye-liner, and, most importantly, there’s absolutely no blue paint to be seen.

I definitely look more alive.

Looking up at her, the corners of your mouth lift in gratitude. “Thank you, Emma, I look great.”

“Ah, you looked great before, I just added to it.”

As you rise out of the seat, she returns to the door and opens it, holding it for you. “I want you to remember what I said, all right? There are people in your corner.”

Your smile widens as you nod, crossing the room. “I’ll remember it. Thank you so much.”

She inclines her head with a beam. “Don’t worry about it, you’re gonna do great.”

Fuck, I hope so.

The noise of the set returns as you pass through the door, and all your anxieties come flooding back.

Don’t. There are people in your corner.

Nat stands outside the room, her hands clasped together. Turning to you as she hears you and Emma, her lips lift. “Hey, you look good. You want something to eat?”

You had in fact had a little something to eat back at the penthouse, Sam and Nat having arrived at 11 on the dot with a huge box of pastries, and the four of you had sat tearing into them for about half an hour as Sam had gone on about how Christmas shopping got more and more difficult every year, and then you’d gone over potential interview questions.

The thought of eating now, though, just makes you feel queasy. Shaking your head, you join her at her side, folding your arms, almost hugging yourself.

“No, thanks.”

“You want a drink?”

“No, thanks.”

“You wanna get out of here?”

You glance at her, a faint smile on her lips, and you exhale a breath, your own lips twitching a little. “Nah. Steve and I talked about running away this morning already, but we reasoned it’d just be too much of a hassle.”

“Ah, that’s sensible.”

“Yeah, annoyingly.” 

Nodding at the nearby couch, she moves to it. “Come on, let’s sit down. Gotta rest my legs while I can.”

Sitting beside her, you finally seize your chance. “So, how’re you doing?”

“I’m fine, thanks, how are you?”

“No, I mean, how are you really?”

Nat side-eyes you, an eyebrow arching a fraction. “I’m fine.”

“Yeah, but really—”

“Y/N!”

Fucking hell.

Jolting, you look up to find Maeve beaming down at you.

“Wow! Look at you! Emma’s great, isn’t she? Would you like something to drink?”

“Uh, yeah, she is. And, no, thank you.”

“All right, can I get you anything at all?”

She’s just doing her job, she’s just doing her job, she’s just doing her job...

“No, thank you.”

“Oke doke, let me know if you do, I’m just gonna see how Megan’s doing.” With another wide beam, she’s then trotting off to the set.

“Who’s Megan?” you murmur to Nat.

Nat inspects the nails on one hand idly. “The interviewer.”

“Oh.”

Because I’m here to do an interview, that’s right.

“You’re gonna be fine.” It’s like she can read your mind.

Glancing at her, you blow out a breath, looking down at your hands. “I just can’t wait for today to be over.”

“I know. It’s just a twenty minute interview, it’ll be over before you know it.”

Your gaze darts back to her. “What? I thought it was an hour?”

A corner of her mouth twitches. “It was. But then they wouldn’t tell me what they were gonna ask so I cut it down. It means essential questions only.”

I love you.

Your smile widening a little, you nod. “All right, I think I can handle that.”

“Good.” Pulling her phone out of her pocket, she taps on a message, answering swiftly.

Looking down at her phone before quickly looking away before you see anything you’re not meant to, you lick your lips. “... So how’s it going outside?”

“Fine.”

“Is there a big crowd?”

“Yeah.”

“The biggest this week?”

“Yeah.”

“That’s good, right?”

“Yeah.” She puts her phone away, her arms folding across her chest. “Means there’ll be better cover for anyone wanting to blend in. We’ve got plenty of agents on site, too.”

“Well... That is good.”

She’s about to reply when she looks beyond you and raises her eyebrows. “God, you took your time.”

Turning your head, you pause as you see Steve approaching.

“Sorry, I was signing a few things, filming a few birthday messages, you know...” He looks sheepish and you smile quickly to console him, even as your stomach flutters.

You kissed me.

Technically.

Looking between you both, he returns your smile. “You look nice.”

“Thank you, so do you,” you answer automatically, even though he looks exactly the same because his skin is always smooth anyway and his hair’s always perfect and he’s always fucking gorgeous—

Slow down, stop it.

He opens his mouth when Maeve suddenly appears, again.

“Look at you both! Wonderful! Now, there’s about five minutes to go, so if you’d like to follow me, Megan’s ready, too.”

Five minutes.

You take a breath as you push yourself up, meeting Steve’s gaze. He smiles lightly, almost secretively, then holds out his hand to you.

A fucking life-line.

Sliding your hand into his, you return his smile as he squeezes it gently. Then, you both turn and follow after Maeve.

Nearing the set, your heart is pounding again, your eyes darting about, watching the crew set up and laugh and chat together.

It’s live.

It’s gonna be fucking live.

And I have to convince these people and the world that I’m happily engaged.

“Megan?” Maeve steps away a little as you round one of the cameras, and there the set is.

There’s a large Persian carpet in the centre with a small glass table on it, with three bottles of Fiji water, and three grey, fabric armchairs, one on the left side of the table, two on the other, and a few potted plants. The large window behind it provides the back drop and lighting, though there’s plenty of lights beside the cameras, too, and you can already feel the warmth of them. You suspect this isn’t where they’d usually conduct interviews like this; Nat had probably requested they do it here and this has been thrown together.

The interviewer, Megan Owens, smiles gracefully as she rises from her seat at Maeve’s voice. She’s dressed in a light blue, sleeveless dress with a red belt, coiffed, chestnut hair, and a radiant white smile, and you steel yourself.

 Steve’s hand leaves yours as she extends her hand to him, and he takes it. 

“Captain Rogers, it’s an honour to meet you,” she enthuses, her voice honey-warm.

“Just Steve is fine,” he insists as he shakes her hand with a smile, “It’s nice to meet you, too, Megan.”

If her perfect beam could have gotten any wider it would have as she simpers, “The pleasure is all mine.” Dropping his hand, her gaze then turns to you, her beam fixed in place. “Oh, and you must be Y/N.”

Duh.

“Hello,” you say brightly as you shake her hand, “It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

Who am I.

“And lovely to meet you, too.” She shakes your hand lightly before pulling her hand back and raising it, gesturing at the studio. “What an honour it is to have you both here, thank you so much for choosing America Today for the interview, we’re so honoured, really.”

“It’s nothing,” Steve answers, surprising you by his hand returning to yours, lacing your fingers together.

Oh.

Megan gestures at the two grey chairs that are side-by-side. “Please, take a seat, you there, Y/N, and you there, Steve. Get comfortable.”

Hilarious.

As you sit, you in the one closest the window, Steve the one closest to the camera, you clasp your hands together in your lap without thinking.

Megan smiles at you as she crosses her legs. “I take it this is your first ever interview, Y/N.”

Your eyebrows rise as you manage a smile. “What gave it away?”

She laughs lightly as a man appears to smooth down her already perfect hair. “Oh, nothing, we just didn’t find any interviews in our research.”

You feel strange again, and try not to think about strangers searching you on the internet. Two women appear to mic you all up, and Megan continues as if they’re not there. “You’ll be fine. I suppose you can imagine what I’ll ask and the answers will just be about you or Steve so it’ll be nice and easy.”

Oh, I wish.

The woman finishes adjusting your mic and moves away, and you watch the other woman fit a device to Megan’s ear. So the producers can communicate with her, probably. They’ll be sat in a room somewhere, watching, excited. You’re surprised you haven’t met them, then again maybe it’s Nat’s doing. Maybe she’s tried to keep it as underwhelming as possible.

Nice try, but I’m still overwhelmed.

Another woman’s voice suddenly sounds from behind one of the many cameras as the mic woman moves off the set, and your gaze darts over automatically to find the source. “All right, everyone, quiet on set! Megan, you’re on in 5, 4—”

Silence descends. Your eyes dart back to Megan as your mouth dries and your stomach flips and you feel hot.

“ — 3—”

Suddenly, Steve’s hand finds yours in your lap and you grip his tightly, not caring if it’s for comfort or for show.

“— 2...”

Megan tilts her head as she looks into a camera, her hands folded on her lap. “Thank you, Andy and Jean, and good afternoon to you, America, and the world. Here with me today is a couple that needs no introduction. All week, right around the world, we’ve all been discussing them and their upcoming wedding, and now, in an exclusive interview, they’re here with us today to tell us the truth and details in all the speculation.” She looks to you both, her smile widening. “Steve and Y/N, thank you so much for joining us.”

“Thank you for having us,” Steve says as you just smile, hoping to whoever’s listening that you look relaxed.

“I’ll start with what we’ve all been dying to know, how did you two meet?”

Oh, fuck, I’m gonna have to take the lead on this one—

“Well,” Steve begins and God, thank you, “after I finished my rehabilitation with SHIELD, I wanted to find a place of my own for some sense of normality, and I wanted to be closer to the Triskelion, so I moved here and I ended up moving into the same building that Y/N would happen to.”

He’s told this story before, it’s nothing new, so you feel yourself relaxing a little... Except he glances at you, and you know in that split-second he’s judging whether you want him to carry on or whether you want to talk.

Well, I can’t just sit here like a lemon.

This is easy, you know this.

“I moved here after accepting a job offer and just took the first apartment I could,” you say, your voice mercifully steady, looking to Megan with a smile. “The landlord just happened to leave out that Captain America would be my neighbour.” 

You’re bolstered suddenly by the surprising sound of quiet laughter from some of the crew.

Megan laughs, too, though hers seems to be more out of politeness. “So no pressure, huh?”

It’s your turn to laugh politely. “No, not at all. But I still didn’t know that when the evening I moved in I did what any good neighbour would do and I knocked on his door to introduce myself.” There’s more quiet laughter again, okay, I’m doing okay. “And he was very polite and kind as I just stared at him for about a minute thinking I’d lost my mind.”

That’s true... Except you leave out the part where you’d babbled in introducing yourself and had practically given him your whole life story out of nerves and embarrassment and just plain not being able to be quiet. He’d listened attentively the whole time and had even asked you, having gently cut off one of your ramblings, if you wanted to come in and sit down.

You’d said no, in horror, before quickly back-pedalling your tone and saying that you just didn’t want to disturb him.

He’d given you that smile and said you weren’t disturbing him at all.

The memory makes your stomach flutter.

“So, you two became friends after that, right?”

“Yeah,” Steve answers, “We just kept bumping into each other and then during one conversation we realised we were both classic film fans so we decided to watch one that was on TV that night together and then it became a weekly thing, and then we were going out for walks, having dinner together and just enjoying each others company.”

... Well, that’s not wrong.

“When did you two realise you were in love?”

You’re prepared for this but it still makes your stomach flip as you take the lead. “I think we just knew, you know? We spent a lot of time together and felt something change and now... here we are.”

You’d all agreed you couldn’t make every answer detailed, so you’re very pleased that you’d decided to make this one vague.

Megan smiles and hums in agreement before her gaze shifts to Steve as her smile widens. “Now, go on, Steve, what is it about Y/N that made you fall in love with her?”

Your breath catches in your throat slightly and Steve releases a polite laugh.

Oh my God, we didn’t prepare for this.

Remembering you’re on camera, your fixed smile widens a little more as you make yourself look at Steve. He glances at you, his eyebrows raising with a smile, before he looks to Megan.

“Well, as Y/N said, sometimes you just know, and who can explain love, right?” Megan hums in agreement. “... But,” Steve continues, his gaze returning to you, “... I think it was her empathy and kindness, her sense of humour, the fact we can talk about absolutely anything until about 2AM, and... just how easy it is to be with her, really.”

You can’t look away from him, your lips slightly parted, your face warm, and he’s not looking away either.

��And what about you, Y/N?”

You blink and look at her, before back to Steve. “Well, I, I would say it’s how comfortable he makes me feel. I can always be myself around him and I don’t feel judged, and he makes me feel valued.” Your smile softens as you look at him. “It’s so easy to be with him, too, there’s honestly no one else I’d rather spend the rest of my life with.”

Oh. Oh, no.

That last part just slips out, but that’s fine, that’s absolutely fine because you’re meant to be in love, that’s fine.

Looking away, your face so fucking hot, you smile at Megan, who looks suitably charmed. 

“That’s so lovely. What do you do for work, Y/N?”

Right, this is an easy one, that’s good.

“I work at June & Mayflower Publishing, I’m the Head of Marketing for the branch here in D.C.”

“Do you enjoy it?”

“Oh, I love it. I’m very lucky to have such great colleagues, too.”

And they’re probably screaming, ‘you’re damn right’, at the TV in the staff-room right now.

“And how do you feel when Steve has to go away for work, Y/N?”

Oh, fuck.

This was something you’d never, ever spoken about, either of you. You’d never told him that it’s always there in the back of your mind when he’s away that he could be hurt, could be captured, could die. How can you say that now, though? On live television and in front of him?

Keep it light, Nat had said when you’d discussed the probability of any difficult questions.

Smiling, my God, my cheeks hurt, you shrug slightly. “I know what I signed up for. His sense of duty and honour is one of the things I love about him, too. Yes, it can be hard being away from each other, sometimes for several weeks, but Dolly always says—”

“Dolly?” Megan interrupts gently.

Your smile is easy now as you nod. “Oh, sorry, my friend Dolly.”

“That’s a lovely name.“

“Yeah, her parents are huge Dolly Parton fans, which, who isn’t, she’s an icon, so they named her after her.”

Megan laughs, and it feels real. “Yes, she is an icon. But do excuse me, please continue.”

“Well, Dolly always says that if it’s right for you and something you really want, then it’ll work out, and Steve and I have and do make it work.”

You feel him squeeze your hand gently as you nod, and you assume it’s to tell you you gave a great answer.

Megan nods. “Well, absolutely, Dolly’s right.”

You all laugh politely, and then Megan’s smile is replaced by a gently sympathetic expression. 

“Now, there was an incident last night at the The Venue, wasn’t there. what happened?”

You have to suppress a sigh. “Oh, I was there having a few drinks with two friends, one of them Dolly, the other Bridget, and someone threw paint on me.”

“Paint?” Megan responds with a tone of quiet shock, though you all know she already knew that.

“Yeah, blue paint.”

... For some reason, you’re smiling... maybe because fuck this, you can’t be bothered to spin a sob story.

There are people in your corner.

“I looked like a member of the Blue Man Group.”

Megan laughs, as do some of the crew, and Steve chuckles, and you feel a weight lift from your shoulders.

If I laugh, they haven’t won. In fact...

Waiting for Megan’s laugh to finish, you start to speak before she can. 

“In all seriousness, though, I think what happened last night displays an issue we have in our society about how we treat people that we put on a pedestal, the people we consider celebrities. The way we’ve been hounded this week, it’s not healthy for anyone. I’ve had things shouted at me, and thrown at me, from people who don’t even know me but feel entitled to expressing an opinion that they believe is fact, formed from what strangers have written in papers and online and their own assumptions. They don’t know me or Steve, they’re assuming, and as last night showed that can be so dangerous, in fact history has shown it does get dangerous. There’s an obsession that people develop with celebrities that we have to ask ourselves how and why it gets to that point and who’s enabling them, because people have this sense of ownership over people they don’t even know and it’s not right.”

You kept your eyes on Megan as you spoke, so you don’t see the way Steve’s been looking at you.

With pride.

Megan looks quietly impressed, her eyebrows raising a little as she nods. “Wow, there certainly is a discussion to be had there. We’ll have to get you back for that one another time.”

“I’d love to.” You smile and incline your head, finding that you actually would.

“For now, though, you’re both going to be attending the Stark Christmas Party tomorrow night, aren’t you?”

“Yeah,” Steve takes over, and his hand is still held in both of yours, “We’re both really looking forward to it, it’s been a while since I’ve been to New York.”

“Will it be your first time at the Tower and meeting the Avengers, Y/N?”

“Uh, yes, it’ll be my first time there, and, yes, I suppose so, with all of them together.”

Oh my God, I haven’t even thought about that.

“What a sight that’ll be,” Megan gushes, “Will you be considering the Tower as a venue?”

You glance at Steve, watching his lips twitch. “Ah, no, no, we will not.”

You recall Nat having told you Steve had called it ‘ugly’ right in front of Tony.

“Are you looking for somewhere in Washington, then?”

“Yeah, we both like it here, and it means a lot to us ‘cause it’s where we met, so.” His hand squeezes yours and you look up at him, matching his soft smile.

We’re both acing this looking in love thing.

“Of course. And as for the dress, Y/N...?” She trails off with an expectant smile, and you feign a coy one as you look at her. 

“Oh, I can’t speak too much about that, we all like a surprise.”

Don’t we bloody just.

“Oh, how unfair, I guess we’ll all just have to wait for the big day, then,” she laughs. “You were spotted at The Pearl, though...?”

“Yeah, I have been trying some dresses from there, and it’s such a lovely place, the staff are absolutely wonderful, I can’t praise them highly enough.” You smile widely, delighted you could give Sally and the assistants a shout-out. “Oh, and they have just as many dresses and suits in-store for those who are considered ‘plus-sized’ so I can’t recommend them highly enough.”

“Ah, yes, a story got out yesterday about you having to leave a store that didn’t cater, is that true?”

Your lips twitch at the memory. “Yes, it is, which is such a shame because from a business point of view they’re really missing out, and it just makes them look like idiots, to be honest.”

If Megan’s shocked at that she hides it well, and just nods. “Quite right. Well, The Pearl had better be ready for plenty of clients now,” she smiles, raising her eyebrows. 

Then, she tilts her head and clasps her hands together on her lap. “Now, and I suppose this follows on from what you were saying about, as you say, people making assumptions, earlier today we did an interview with a co-worker and an old flame of yours.”

You freeze.

“Really?”

Megan nods and points towards where the cameras are. “For our audience, it’ll be airing later today, although it’s up on our website now, but if you could just both watch that screen, I’d be interested to hear what you have to say.”

You feel cold all of a sudden as you look at a TV screen, knowing the world is going to watch you watch your ex-boyfriend and whatever the fuck he has to say.

The screen goes from black to a clip of Joe, in a white button-up and navy tie, hands clasped together on his crossed legs, loose, relaxed, in his element, sitting across from Megan in what looks like a nicer room than this one.

He’s obviously just been asked a question because Joe takes in a breath as he looks up, considering his answer. Smiling almost sympathetically, he looks back to Megan.

“Y/N’s great, she really is. She’s really smart and a lot of fun, she was an absolute sweetheart... but she was quite insecure when we were together. She was quite quiet, and didn’t have much confidence, you know? She was always doubting herself and her work, and I tried to be there for her as much as I could, but there’s only so much you can do. She liked to be with her friends a lot and I just... I got a great job opportunity and had to do what was best for both of us, so I ended it.”

The clip pauses, but you remain staring at the screen, a surge of rage coiling within you.

“That’s classy,” you mutter.

Except you don’t mutter it, because it’s picked up by the microphone and everyone on the planet and universe will have heard it along with everything your ex has just said.

Megan’s eyebrows raise as she looks at you. “Classy?”

You look at her.

Fuck you, Joe.

Licking your lips, you shrug. “If I was all those things or came across that way it’s because that’s how Joe made me feel. He certainly didn’t make me feel happy, or satisfied.” You hear some quiet gasps and laughter. “It’s nice to now be with someone who makes me feel good about myself, despite and because of who I am.” Looking at him, your other hand now covers Steve’s. “He sees all of me and he still loves me.”

“Yes, I do,” he answers without missing a beat, without pausing.

Your breath catches in your throat as your stomach flutters. You hold each others gaze as Megan hums, and it’s only when she speaks that you both finally look away.

“That’s wonderful, that really is. So, I take it you disagree with everything Joe said?”

“Yeah, I do.”

“He went on to suggest, as some people have, that you might be using Steve to further your career, what do you say to that?”

You feel Steve stiffen beside you but you just laugh. “Further my career? In publishing?” You look at him with a grin. “I didn’t know you had any pull in the publishing world.”

A smile blossoms across his features as he chuckles. “What can I say, you gotta have some secrets in a relationship.”

You laugh, the tightness in you chest gone, and as it fades you look back to Megan. “Look, I’m very happy where I am, for now I don’t want to progress any higher. I think it’s Joe who wants to further his career here.”

Despite your laughter, she seems to sense the rage that’s gently simmering in you and nods and smiles brightly. “Well, just one more question, then... When’s the big day?”

Steve answers this time. “We’ll be announcing that very shortly, not much longer to wait, I promise.”

Yeah, two days and then you’ll all find out.

Megan tuts good-naturedly, her smile still fixed in place. “I guess we’ll just have to trust you! And, unfortunately, that’s all we have time for.” Tilting her head, she raises her hands slightly. “Thank you once again for joining us, it’s been an absolute pleasure, and on behalf of everyone at America Today we wish you the warmest of congratulations.”

“Thank you very much,” Steve says as you force a smile, and Megan looks into a camera.

You stare at Megan because she doesn’t say anything else, and then the woman from earlier calls out, “And cut! Thank you, everyone!”

Voices erupt as people call out to one another and some people even clap. Looking up to try and find them, you just smile slightly, and then Megan’s rising out of her seat.

“You both did great,” she says as a woman rushes over to remove her earpiece and her mic. “And, Y/N...” You raise your eyebrows slightly, and she gives a light smile. “... Not bad for your first time.”

You feel yourself relax a little as someone else removes your mic and then Steve’s.

Steve.

Looking to him, he’s looking at the woman removing the mic, smiling and nodding his thanks before she moves away. Then he’s looking at you

His hand is still in yours.

He smiles softly, and you return it.

“Steve! Y/N!”

Oh, Maeve, you’re so good at your job but please leave us alone.

You both look up at her, beaming at you as always.

“That was fantastic! Can we just get a photo of you both and Megan?”

Nodding, slightly dazed because it’s over, it’s over, it’s over, you stand and Steve’s hand slips out of yours. Clearing your throat, you move down the set where Megan’s talking to who you assume is the woman who called out, possibly the director. 

Her beam is back in place as she turns to you and stands between you and Steve. You just stare at Maeve’s phone and smile whenever she takes a photo of you three, and she takes several. Three people, two women and a man, come out of another room, and they’re introduced as the producers, and you shake their hands and say hello and receive their thanks and congratulations, and then you take a few photos with them as they thank you over and over again and say how great it was.

Then, thankfully, Nat’s there, talking over Maeve and thanking her and everyone and ushering you and Steve towards the elevator.

Oh my God, we get to go home now.

That was it.

The hardest thing is done.

You’ve done it.

You’ve done it.

Getting into the elevator, you feel lighter than you have in days, a breath leaving you. The doors slide shut, Maeve and the two security guards in there with you again as Maeve has insisted on seeing you down.

Looking at the doors, you don’t realise there’s a small smile on your lips.

Steve glances at you, and give a small smile of his own.

Then, you feel his hand on your back, rubbing gently. Looking up at him, you share your small, relieved, secretive smile, and you can’t stop your cheeks from warming. Looking away, your teeth grazing over your lower lip, you don’t notice him watching the movement.

The elevator slows to a halt, it chimes, and the doors slide open. As you step out, you spot Sam leaning against the SUV and give him a beam and a wave. He grins and gives you a thumbs up.

Turning to Maeve and the security guards, you, Nat and Steve take turns shaking her hand.

“Thank you so much, really,” she gushes, and, all right, she’s won you over and you’re beaming now. “This was such an incredible day for me, I’m so happy I could look after you and I hope you’ve had a good time.”

Why not.

“We did, Maeve,” you say before either Nat or Steve can answer, and you tilt your head. “Would you like a photo with us?”

Her mouth opens but nothing comes out, and then she’s scrabbling for her phone in her pocket. “Well, I, I wasn’t going to ask, it’s not professional and I’m not really allowed, but seeing as you offered I would absolutely love to.”

Catching Steve’s eye, grinning, you stand by Maeve’s side as Nat takes her phone and lifts it, her lips pressed together.

“All right, ready...”

Maeve’s arms go around you and Steve and she beams at the camera.

Nat taps the screen a few times before lowering the phone and stepping forward, handing it back to her. “There you go.”

“Oh, thank you so much,” she says, almost hugging her phone to her chest. “That’s so kind, thank you.”

As you go to say your goodbyes, you hear the elevator chime again, signalling it’s arrived, and out of instinct you glance over her shoulder to see who it is. The doors slide open and Joe—

Joe steps out with a man in a suit, laughing at something he just said.

You stare at him.

Why is he still here.

Oh... He must be doing other interviews.

... Pure rage surges within you once more.

You don’t hear Steve saying your name as you stride past Maeve towards him. Upon hearing your name, Joe lifts his head, his eyes land on you, and they widen.

“Oh, hey—”

Your hands slam against his chest, gripping the front of his jacket, and you shove him back, pushing him against the wall beside the elevator.

“Why the fuck did you do that, Joe?!” you hiss, “Who the fuck do you think you are?!”

You don’t see it, but Steve, having stepped forward, puts an arm out, halting the security guards and the man with Joe from going to his aid.

Joe stammers as he looks behind you for help, then back to you. “L-Look, I’m, I’m sorry, okay, but I don’t think I said anything that wasn’t truthful—”

“Really?!” You don’t realise you’re practically yelling. “You humiliated me, you told the whole world my insecurities like it was nothing, like you had the right to.  You’re a fucking asshole, you always have been, and you didn’t deserve me.”

Releasing him, you step back, your breaths coming quickly, your jaw tight. You go to turn away when he quickly says, “I needed the money, Y/N.”

You scoff as you turn back to him, watching him straighten his jacket. “No, you don’t, Joe, you’re a manager—”

“I lost my job.”

You stare at him, your brow dipping. “What?”

He swallows, one hand going into his pocket, the other playing with his tie. “I was fired. A month ago. I moved back here to stay with a friend and find a new job. Yvette wouldn’t give me my old one back, so...”

You shake your head, your eyebrows raising in incredulity. “So, instead of finding another job, you went on television and humiliated your ex-girlfriend?”

“No, I, well, I didn’t mean to...” He trails off, looking at you helplessly, wanting you to give him an out, the benefit of the doubt, throw him a life-line, like you used to.

Your tongue running over your teeth, you shake your head. “You’re a fucking asshole, Joe.”

Turning away, you smile tightly at Maeve, and say as you pass, “Thank you so much, really, you’ve been great.”

You don’t hear her reply as you carry on striding across the lot, Steve right behind you. Sam gives you a gentle smile and opens the door for you so you can climb straight in. Sitting back, you secure your seat-belt as Nat, Sam and Steve slide into their own seats.

No one speaks as Nat drives to the barrier, and then you’re waved out and onto the main roads.

You’re glad you said that to Joe. So relieved. It’s like a weight off your fucking shoulders, everything you should have said when he dumped you.

But you’re so fucking mad. Fucking livid... at everything. Maybe it’s the hangover. Maybe it’s the lack of sleep. Maybe it’s the fucking week. All three is a deadly combination. You don’t care about peoples opinions, you don’t, you try very hard to not pay attention to them or let them get to you and you succeed most times, but Joe has presented an image of you to the world that isn’t you, that you can’t control, and... It’s like the last straw on top of a lot of last straws.

You realise, then.

Even when this is supposedly over, it won’t be. People will still know who you are. You’ll still be Steve’s friend, his neighbour. People will still have an opinion of you. People will still be able to make an assumption about you, scream things at you, throw things at you.

And you thought you’d done well in the interview, but depending on what people want to believe, Joe could have undone all of that.

“I’m sorry, Y/N,” Nat says suddenly, “I didn’t know they had interviewed Joe, they fucked us over.”

“It’s not your fault, Nat. You’re the one keeping this fucking thing together, you’re doing your best, you all are.”

"You are, too.”

You lift your gaze to Steve. You make yourself take a breath and exhale it as he smiles, and you return it but it’s an effort.

What will we be like after this.

Stop it.

God, I hate hungover, irritable me.

You’d said the night before that you would take all of this if it meant you got to be his friend. And you still would.

So you widen your smile and exhale another breath.

His own features relax as he nods slightly, maybe understanding a little.

“... Man, I was really hopin’ you were gonna knock that guy out,” Sam says, and you glance over at him.

Then, you burst out laughing.

Steve chuckles as Sam looks back at you, his eyes wide. “I’m being serious, I was just waitin’ for it, we can turn around if you like? Finish the little rat off?”

“No,” you insist through your laughter, “As tempting as that is, I just want to get back and nap this hangover off.”

“You sure? I’ll be your second?” Steve chimes in.

“No.” You’re grinning, even as you narrow your eyes at him. “Yelling let me get it all out.”

“All right, all right...” Sam grumbles good-naturedly, then reaches into his jacket. “Here’s your phone, by the way.”

Sam had offered to keep it in the car for you so it’d be one less thing for you to worry and you accept it with a nod.

“Thank you very much.”

Unlocking it, there’s messages from Bridget, Dolly and Aaron, all having responded to things while watching it, and all ended by saying what an asshole Joe is. You spend the rest of the drive replying to them, telling them you’re okay and just looking to have a quiet night in. 

You pause before locking it, then you message Yvette, asking if she knew Joe had been fired.

She replies within seconds.

I did. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, didn’t want to upset you, he was fired on the grounds of incompetence basically. At least the whole world knows he’s an idiot now. You were fantastic.

Incompetence. Ha, sounds right.

You tell her not to worry, that you miss her, and thank her.

You’re welcome. And I suppose I miss you, too.

Smiling, you lock your phone just as you arrive back at the penthouse. Leaning over his seat, you hug Sam goodbye, then get out with Steve and Nat, the latter only wanting to go with you up to your door. In the elevator, she leans against the back of it and folds her arms. 

“So, how do we feel?”

You and Steve nod in unison, and both say;

“Yeah, good.”

“Fine.”

She nods, her lips twitching slightly. “Good. I think we’re all relieved that’s over. And I’m sorry again about what happened, Y/N, I’m gonna call them later and yell at them.”

“It’s fine, really,” you answer with a slight shrug. “I get they needed to make a story and make it exciting. I’m okay, really. I’m glad I got to do some yelling myself.”

Nat’s lips lift. “Yeah, that must have been very cathartic.”

You can’t stop a smile. “It was.”

The elevator slows to a halt and the doors slide open. She waits until Steve opens the door and she knows everything’s okay inside before she leaves, waving you off and saying she’ll message you later.

You close the door, kick your shoes off, and head down the short hallway, and pause, looking at Steve stood in the living room, his hands in his pockets, a gentle smile on his lips.

“So.”

“So...” you answer, your own smile widening.

He inhales a breath, his eyebrows raising a little. “Thank God that’s over.”

“Yeah.” You fold your arms as you move closer. “It was okay, though, wasn’t it? We did okay, didn’t we?”

“Yeah, I’d say we did. More than okay, actually.” He lifts a hand out of his pocket and gestures at you. “You were great.”

You scoff, shaking your head slightly, only a step or so away now. “Me? What about you, when she hit us with the ‘what made you fall in love’ curveball you were great, you said some really good stuff.”

He shrugs slightly. “Well, they are the things I do like about you, so.”

You look at him, your stomach fluttering and your breath catching in your throat and your lips parting and your heart beating faster and, oh.

His gaze is lingering on you, and he watches your tongue wet your lips.

“Oh.... Well... What I said is what I like about you, too,” you say quietly, watching him.

There’s a pause. Then, he takes a step closer, opens his mouth and—

The sound of his phone ringing makes you jerk and his lips press together, his jaw tight. Clearing your throat as he slides his phone out of his pocket, and he glances from it to you.

“I’m sorry, it’s Buck, I gotta take this—”

“No, no, that’s absolutely fine, take it—”

“You sure? I can—”

“No, take it, it’s fine.” You’re smiling far too widely as you head for the stairs. “I’m gonna take a nap, anyway. Say hello from me!”

“Yeah, I will do.”

You fix your gaze ahead, moving swiftly up the stairs, and he keeps his eyes on you as he accepts the call and raises his phone to his ear.

“You have impeccable fuckin’ timing...” he mutters into it as you disappear into your room and close the door, his gaze finally dropping.

—

After washing your face and changing into more comfortable clothes, you’d closed the curtains and climbed into bed, groaning with relief.

You’d fallen asleep almost instantly, your body and mind delighted to now be able to rest undisturbed. You hadn’t set an alarm so you sleep for a few hours, and by the time you awaken, it’s already getting dark. Hungry and thirsty, you roll out of bed and rub at your face, pulling the door open.

You hear the sounds of the TV, and as you move down the stairs you see Steve sat on one of the couches, his long legs stretched out. Lifting his head, he smiles at the sight of you.

“Hey. Feelin’ any better?”

You yawn even as you nod. “Mhm. Or maybe I’m more tired now, I don’t know. How are you?”

“Fine, thanks.” He watches you as you move into the kitchen, finding something to eat and drink. “Buck’s comin’ over in about half an hour, by the way. He’s bringing alcohol.”

He chuckles as you look up at him and pull a face.

“Hmm, don’t think I could handle any alcohol for a little while. I think I’ll leave you two to it. Just have a bath and then maybe watch a little of something.”

He nods as he rubs at his jaw, watching you lift your glass to your lips and take a sip. “That sounds nice. What’s on the agenda for tomorrow?”

You swallow, his eyes drifting to your throat, before rising swiftly to meet your gaze. “Uhm, shopping for a wedding dress, and a dress for Saturday. Turns out my glad-rags aren’t so glad.”

A corner of his mouth lifts higher than the other. “Okay. How about I cook us dinner tomorrow, we have a quiet night in. Change Thursday Night Classic Movie Night to Friday Night Classic Movie Night just this once?”

Oh... a taste of the past, of normality.

Your lips lift high as you hum. “Mhm, yes, please, that sounds so great.”

His smile widens. “All right. It’s a date.”

You hum a slight laugh as you move to go to the stairs, then your gaze darts back to him.

What.

He’s back to facing the TV, his eyes on it, and you stare at him.

...

Was that just a figure of speech.

It had to be.

We’ve said it before... right?

We must have.

I can’t ask him to confirm what he meant, I’ll look insane.

You carry on moving to the stairs.

Once in your room, you close the door and pause.

It was just a figure of speech.

That’s it.

Moving into the bathroom, you shake it from your mind and turn the taps on on the bath. You find some bubble-bath in the cupboard under the sink and pour some in.

Undressing and getting in, you lie back with a gentle sigh, closing your eyes as the warm water soothes you. It’s nice and quiet, the only sound the gentle sloshing of the water whenever you move slightly.

Date.

Date.

Date.

Stop it, it’s just a figure of speech. How many times do you say it to Bridge’ and Dolly?

Except today he kissed you on the forehead and said that all the reasons he listed for pretending to be in love with you are actually all the reasons why he likes you.

Stop it. The kiss was just for show, as was the hand holding, or to comfort me, either way, whatever, and the reasons he listed... well... 

...

Stop thinking about it.

You spend the next ten minutes in the bath just thinking about anything but today; wondering what dresses you’ll try on tomorrow, what dresses you liked from before, how fun it’s going to be, what you can watch later.

After getting out and draining the tub, you pat yourself dry, moisturise, and change back into comfy clothes. You want to get another drink and more food so you head out again, this time to the sound of masculine laughter.

You’re already smiling by the time you reach the bottom of the stairs, finding Steve and Bucky stood in the kitchen, opening bottles of beer.

“Well, hello there.”

Lifting his head, Bucky smiles as you approach and start rooting through cupboards.

“Hey, kid. How’re you doin’?”

You and he aren’t huggers, but the gentle affection in his smile, tone and his nickname for you is enough.

You turn to him as you close the cupboard, a bag of cookies under your arm. “Oh, you know, living my engaged dream.”

Steve chuckles as Bucky’s smile widens and he leans against the counter. “So I’ve heard. I thought you did really well at the interview, though.”

You snort, setting the cookies on the counter and making yourself a drink.

“No, seriously.” You look up at him as his insistence, and, oh, he is lovely. “You were yourself. Very warm and friendly. Loved what you said about fame and Joe, too.”

You incline your head, giving a slight curtsy that has him smiling again. “Oh. Thank you.”

“Could’ve cracked a few more jokes, though.”

You side-eye him as your lips twitch and you grab your drink, heading for the stairs. “I’ll bear that in mind for next time. I’ll leave you two to it for a while. Have fun.”

“Yep, see ya.”

“Enjoy yourself,” Steve says a second later.

“Oh, I will,” you say with raised brows as you climb the stairs, “Got plenty of episodes to catch up on that duty has kept me from.”

Steve’s smile lingers on his lips as he watches you disappear out of sight. Taking a breath, he then starts to turn back to Bucky.

“So, how’s the—”

“What’s goin’ on.”

His gaze meets Bucky’s as he pauses at his quiet question, his friend’s eyebrows raised slightly.

“... What d’you mean?”

Bucky’s eyebrows rise higher. “With you and her, what’s goin’ on.”

Steve blinks, then lets out a slight scoff, a hand going to his hip as his other settles on the counter. “Nothing.”

“God, you’re still such an awful liar—”

“Oh, come on, don’t give me that shit—”

“You’re tellin’ me the truth, then?”

He presses his lips together. “... It’s complicated it.”

“Is it?” Bucky says, raising his bottle to his lips.

Steve’s jaw moves slightly, and he shakes his head a moment later. “Buck, I... After that letter threatening Y/N, I just—”

“What letter?”

Two sets of eyes dart to you at the top of the stairs, your own staring at them.

You’d forgotten the cookies.

If you’d been a second earlier you’d be having an entirely different conversation.

Bucky straightens, a quiet breath leaving him as Steve’s eyes remain on you, watching you move down the stairs.

“Y/N—”

“What letter, Steve?” you cut in, reaching the bottom step and moving closer, your arms folded, features expressionless.

His jaw moves minutely but he doesn’t look away. “... Six months ago I received a letter about you, threatening you because of our friendship. We had good reason to take it seriously so, don’t worry, we’ve had someone watching you to keep you safe—”

You scoff slightly, as your gaze darts between them, a coldness sweeping over you, not knowing what to process first. “Wait, wait, wait, hang on... I... You’ve had some stranger watching me for six months?”

There’s a beat of silence... then Bucky raises his hand. “Not a stranger, kid.”

You stare at him, your mouth moving slightly. “Every day?”

He shrugs a shoulder as he lowers his hand. “Nat and I take it in turns. As fascinating as you are, I need a day off sometimes.”

You let out an incredulous, slightly dazed laugh, because what the fuck. “Wow, okay... Wow, right, Fury must hate you both, giving you this kind of job when there are more important things out there.”

Silence. They shift slightly.

You look between them again, your smile fading. “... What?”

Steve runs a hand down his mouth with a small sigh before it goes to his hip, his gaze gentle on you. “There were a couple more letters after the first one. With pictures of you going to and from work, out with friends. and, uh... well, some not particularly nice things written with them.”

“Oh.”

Part of you wants to ask what. Part of you wishes you’d never forgotten the damn cookies and come out of your room.

Steve’s features soften as he moves around the counter, taking a step towards you. “Look, you—”

“Uhm...” You look at the ground, feeling slightly sick.

Someone had threatened you. More than once. Because you’re Steve’s friend. And that would hurt him.

So many different emotions are swirling and roiling inside of you, and somene had threatened you and you’d had no idea.

Are you comfortable with that? With that being kept from you?

You don’t know anymore.

“... I think i’m just gonna go to bed,” you say, looking up at them, because you don’t know what else to say. “Have a nice night. It was nice to see you, Buck.”

“You, too,” he answers gently as you retreat back upstairs.

As you climb, you glance at them, and see Steve bow his head, his eyes closed.

—

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[surveys-at-your-service]

Surveys #431-432

two biggins’ in one, beware the long post.

Do you own any Funko Pop! figurines? No. How many cats and dogs have you had as pets in your lifetime? I couldn't possibly count the cats. A lot. We've had I wanna say eight dogs through my entire life. Can your mom and/or dad play any instruments, or how about anyone else in your family? No. My older sister played the clarinet in school, though. Have you ever colored in an adult coloring book as a stress reliever? I have, but they don't really affect my stress level. Can you crack crab legs without a tool? UGH EW I hate crab legs. So mushy and just... ew. I don't think I've tried to without a tool. How many light sources are in the room you’re in? Excluding the natural light out my windows, three. What’s your favorite thing to put on bagels? Just your usual cream cheese. Who’s your favorite director? Tim Burton. I love his style. Bats: cute or gross? Bats are SO goddamn cute. What was the last really intense pain you felt? I had a sudden pain in my chest the other day that scared me quite a bit. Would you rather vacation by a beach or a lake? A lake, for sure. How would you feel about traveling abroad alone? I'd be way too lonely. What is your father's middle name? John. Where did your last kiss take place? The airport. Which movie villain do you find the most terrifying? Probably Jason. A masked guy just casually pursuing you with a knife is horrifying to me. If you married your favorite celebrity what would your last name be? Fischbach alskdfla;wer;lkwera;wle Do you stick your tongue out often in pictures? No. Which one of your family members are you closest to? My ma. Would you rather have name brand shoes or name brand clothes? Shoes. It's very important for them to be comfy for me. Are you a good liar? Yes. :x Are you proud of your parents? Yeah. If you could get backstage tickets to ANY concert - which would you pick? If Mom was with me, Metallica. She would actually fucking die if she met them. Like she cried and laughed with joy when she found out about the concert in Raleigh some years ago, and we thought we were going to go, but yeah, money. Which is better: orange or grape soda? Orange cream soda. Grape soda is so gross. Was the last thing you ate hot or cold? It was room temperature. Who was the last person in your house who isn’t family? Our landlord/family friend. I think. What color was the last swimsuit you wore? Black. Can you remember the last song you listened to? I'm listening to "Thoughts & Prayers" by Motionless In White right now. Have you ever been dumped really harshly? Ha, that is a colossal understatement... Can you do a back flip, or anything else of that sort? Definitely not. I couldn't even do stuff like that as a kid. Do you have any exes you can’t stand anymore? No. What happened to cause you to feel that way about them? ^ Are you more of a phone or a computer person? Computer, for sure. Do you have a job, and if so, where do you work? No. If not, do you want one? Not right now. I want to focus on the gym and getting in shape. Do any medical afflictions run in your family? A whole lot. What’s your favorite Mexican dish? Shrimp quesadillas. Or rice with cheese sauce. Have you ever been to a professional sports game? Yeah, hockey and baseball. Do you prefer pads, tampons or something else? I'm actually conflicted on this right now. I use tampons, but there are reasons I don't really like them and am considering something else. Have you ever ordered a specially made cake from a cake shop? Not me myself, but Mom has. What months were you and your siblings born in? My two immediate sisters were born in April and June. What did you have for dinner last night? Uhhhhh... I want to say I had a chicken pesto bowl? Have you ever had sex in/on a vehicle? No, that sounds so uncomfortable. Do you do anything to groom your eyebrows? No. I don't care about that anymore. Has your town ever flooded? Oh, for sure. Hurricane Floyd from when I was... I wanna say two or three WRECKED my area. Have you ever played at the McDonald’s play place? Yeah. That was a blast as a kiddo. Have you ever taken a picture of snow? Yeah. Do you cry easily? Very. Are you happy with where you live? No. The suburbs suck. I miss living in the country so much. Do people ever mistake you for being a different race? No. Do you hate the last person you kissed? No, she's my best friend in the whole world. What genre is your favorite movie? I actually don't know what it's considered? It's a kids movie, though. Who was the last person you were in a car with? My mom. Do you like the picture on your license/I.D. card? My permit picture is fucking hideous. When was the last time somebody hit on you? *shrug* Was the last person you met a male or female? A guy - my personal trainer. What brand is your underwear? I'm in my pjs, and only a madman would wear underwear to bed. What’s your favorite Thanksgiving food? Just the rolls, really, lol. I'm not a big fan of Thanksgiving foods at all. Do you have a TV in your room? No, because I don't watch TV. Are any of your electronics charging right now? My laptop always is, though I know you shouldn't do that. I need to charge my phone, too. What was the last video game you played? Video game, not computer, I want to say uh... The Legend of Spyro: Dawn of the Dragon? What’s the biggest promise someone’s ever made to you? Did they keep it? To never leave me. He didn't. Google, Bing, or Yahoo? Google. What was the last song you had on repeat? The song I mentioned earlier. Who is your favorite person to watch on YouTube? Markiplier. :') How many college degrees do you want? It'd be nice to have a Bachelor's in SOMETHING, but I'm not returning to school. Three tries was enough money down the drain. Can you wink? Yeah. Do you own any jerseys? No. Have you ever tried to snort Pixie Stix as a child, or even an adult? Uh, no. Do you like going to baby showers? Do you go only for the cake? No. The last time Jason and I hung out in any capacity was his brother's wife's baby shower, and it's a bad memory. As well, it just reminds me of what I once wanted with him. I'll go to them and be okay, but definitely not thrilled. Has there ever been a time in your life, you felt sexually undecided? Yes, especially in the I want to say 8th grade. I had an inescapable crisis that literally lasted a whole week (or maybe more) forcing myself to believe I was straight, despite already showing but denying bisexual attractions. I was religious back then, so believed if I wasn't straight, I'd go to Hell. Then I came out as bisexual in uhhhh... 2018 I wanna say, and that was a long examination of my feelings. It felt like a massive weight off my shoulders when I accepted it. I felt legit happy. Do you think tattoos and piercings are sexy on the opposite sex? ugggghhhhh yes Do people ever ask you to do things they’re too short to accomplish? No. What color are the headphones you have at this moment in time? My earbuds are pink and white. Ever choked severely on something during lunch at your school? No. Do you eat more vegetables or fruits? What’s your favorite fruit/veggie? Fruits, for sure. My fave is strawberries. What would you say is the color of your favorite bra? I have a pink and black lacy one that is super cute, but it's too small for me right now. It just stays in my drawer. Is anyone in your family a firefighter? Who is it anyway? No. What do you usually buy when you go to the dollar store? If I'm stopping there for a snack (which is usually the only time we stop by one), I tend to get a honeybun. Ever peed in the pool? Be honest! No, that is so gross. When you’re older, what kind of house do you want to live in? I want a medium-sized house that's semi-isolated in the woods. I'd love a nice path to walk down and take photos, a catio for Roman or whatever cat I may have in the future... stuff like that. I need lots of nature. Where do you want to get married? In some sort of gothic building, though I'm sure that would be a WILDLY expensive venue, so I doubt that'll happen. Realistically, either in the woods or even a massive flower garden. Do you plan on having both your parents at your wedding? Yes. What is your favorite childhood TV show? Pokemon. Honestly, do you like school? No, I didn't. Last thing that made you cry? PTSD. Honestly, are you keeping a big secret right now? No big secrets, no. Last person you took a walk with? Sara, years ago. Have you ever liked someone who didn’t like you back? Oh, have I... Who was the last person to actually pick you up in the air? Probably Jason, honestly. Does any part of your body hurt? My non-existent abs are killing me from exercising yesterday. If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to change a regret what would you do? While it's tempting, hand me the cash. Can you keep a secret? Absolutely. You tell me a secret, you can guarantee I'll be keeping it between you and me. Your favorite romantic movie? The Notebook. How do you feel about Valentine’s Day? I honestly like it. I love the aesthetic of it, and I know people say "well you should celebrate love every day," and while that's right, what's so wrong about nationally designating a specific day to appreciate it? I think it's a very cute holiday. Who was the last person you took a picture with? My sister Katie. Do your jeans have rips, tears, and holes in them? I haven't worn jeans in yeeeeaaaarrrrssss. When I did though, I loved jeans like that, especially for skinny jeans. Do you celebrate 420?No. Have you ever kicked a vending machine? No. How do you eat Oreos? I prefer to just dip them in milk. If that's unavailable, I separate the two parts, eat the cream, and then the two cookies. Do you wear your shoes in the house? No. Would you survive in prison? Absofuckinglutely not. It's dark, but just to be entirely honest, I'd probably find a way to kill myself. Ever been to Georgia? I've been through it. Do you get your hair cut every month? Not every month, no. It needs a trim right now badly, though.

Current relationship in detail. I'm single and should be. If you were kicked out of your house, who would you call/go to? My dad. List things you spend money on in an average week. Nothing. Rate each of your sexual partners (if any) from 1-10. He was honestly a 10 lmao like I don't have a lot of experience at all, but yeah. Post the last FB group/page that you joined. I actually don't remember because I've been on break from Facebook for around a month. Would you parents be mad if you were in a relationship? No... Think of the last person you had sex with. Do you think they’ve slept with anyone else since they last slept with you? I'm sure he has. He dated someone right after me for like... eight months or something? Is there someone that you believe you will always be attached to? I think that's very obvious by now. What board games are you good at? Idk, I don't really enjoy board games. Is there a sport/hobby you keep thinking about taking up, but that you’ve never quite gotten around to starting? Definitely no sports, but I've been wanting to get back into video editing. I just... haven't, even though I have the software. Do you think pranks like egging/toilet-papering someone's house are funny or immature? They're incredibly immature. I see zero humor in them. Do you think “sleeve tattoos” are a good idea? They're hot as fuck, man. Is there anything in particular that your parents argue about? What? I'll just say they're divorced for good reasons. Do you ever actually read the “Terms and Services” when you sign up for websites and such? No. If you have a handheld games console (a DS or GameBoy, for example), how often do you use it? Almost never. Your phone is ringing. It’s the person you fell hardest for, what do you say? Realistically, I wouldn't answer because I don't answer numbers I don't recognize. Hypothetically, if I knew it was him, I'd probably say something along the lines of, "Hey J, are you okay?", because something must be seriously wrong if he wants to talk to me of all people. If your best friend was kicked out, would your parents let him/her live with you? Mom absolutely would. Are you afraid of falling in love? I'm terrified of it. Is there anybody you wish you could be with right now? I wish I didn't. Have you ever kissed someone & wished you didn’t? Yes: Tyler. Did you get kissed last night? Haven't been kissed in years. Do you enjoy going through a carwash? Bring out the rainbow soap and it's hype lmao. How did you get most of your scars? My cat, ha ha. He sometimes plays way too rough, and I just scar very easily. Ever had to take an inkblot test? Yes, when I went to a psychologist. Have you ever been in trouble for something you honestly didn’t do? Maybe? Have you ever seriously slapped someone in anger? My sister as a kid on her arm. Safe to say I got in trouble for it. What/who woke you up this morning? Just my body. Who was the last person to be in your bedroom besides you? Mom. What’s one of your locked text messages? da;lsd;fakwer I have one locked from Sara that says something like, "You are so beautiful." I cried. Have you ever finished a game of Monopoly? I think? Jason and I used to play the digital one you could download on the PS3. Is there anyone you know who’s in any way paralyzed? No. I mean, I know of a girl who went to my school who was paralyzed from the waist down in an accident, but I didn't/don't know her personally. She was a MASSIVE deal in my education community. Like you would see "prayers for (name)" on school and church signs. The truth all comes out when someone is drunk, true? Usually true. I sometimes think back on the one time Jason was drunk, and he just told me in the most adoring voice, "I love you, Brittany." It's painful as fuck to remember. I really do wonder if he meant it, given this was in the later half of our relationship. When was the last time you felt disappointed in yourself? Constantly. How about feeling disappointed in someone else? I dunno. For you, do you commonly feel more jealousy or envy? I definitely experience envy more often. Do you rely on the heads/tails flipping of a coin sometimes for decisions? No. Do you have any specific chores you do around the house? I'm supposed to empty the dishwasher in particular. For you, does comfort or fashion come first in dressing? Comfort, 100%. Have you had two friends that absolutely hated each other? No. Do you like Laffy Taffy? I do. That sounds pretty good right about now. Do you prefer electric or manual pencil sharpeners? Electric. Are your biceps at all noticeable? Yeah, no. Have you ever seen a walrus? Yeah, at SeaWorld as a kid. Did you ever have one of those Easy Bake ovens as a kid? Yeah. My little sister in particular was obsessed. Does your bathroom have a theme to it? No. From inside of your house, how many doors lead outside? Two. Are there a lot of trees in your yard? No. :/ I miss that. Have you ever liked someone that treated you like crap? No. Have a best friend? Yeah. :') Does it bother you when your best friend does stuff without you? That is so childish. Everyone needs space sometimes. But to answer the question, considering she lives many states away from me, obviously not. Is there a secret you’ve never told your parents? Yes. Does anyone hate you? I wouldn't at all be surprised if Jason does. Colleen might, but I really don't give a shit if she does. What’s the one thing you regret more than anything? The way I spoke to Jason after the breakup. If only I could take those letters back. Do you remember important dates? I am VERY bad at dates, doesn't matter how important they are. What’s some lyrics from a song that means a lot to you? "For such a little thing, you sure are in your own way" from a Mother Mother song. Who gives the best advice? Sara. Who do you usually see in your dreams? :) Jason is nearly a permanent fixture. Jeez, I'm bringing him up a lot in this one. I'm surprised my PTSD isn't dragging me into a pit for it. What type of cake did you last eat? Uhhh I wanna say double chocolate? Mom got two slices from the store for me and herself a long time ago. How many of your friends are gay or bisexual? A large number. I don't feel like counting. What’s your favorite type of sandwich? Just your usual peanut butter and jelly. When was the last time someone asked you out? Did you accept or decline? Years ago by Girt. I accepted. Do you like The Offspring? Sure, I like a handful of their songs. One pillow or two? I sleep with two. Do you like Mad Libs? Sure, they can be funny. Are you suicidal? Well damn, just throw that in there. Anyway, no. I'll admit I've had very brief, passive thoughts very rarely as of the late, just wondering if there really is a point to me being here, but I'm not actively suicidal at all rn. Where do your grandparents live? They're dead. When alive though, they lived in Florida and Michigan. Do you cut yourself? And this one? No, I haven't in many years. What is your pet’s name? Roman and Venus. Have you ever been to Canada? No, but I'd love to visit. Aren’t babies overrated? "Overrated" is definitely the wrong word... I don't particularly find a lot of babies cute and I don't want my own, but they're not overrated. Have a built-in pool in your backyard? Never have. Ever won yourself a stuffed animal? Yeah. Ever had someone else win you a stuffed animal? Yes. Ever been to a circus? No. I wouldn't set foot into one. Ever shot animals? I never, ever could. Do you consider yourself intelligent? I USED to. I think I'm dumb as shit now. School knowledge did not latch onto me well, I guess. Have you ever run away from home? Yes. It was so overdramatic. I came back hours later because I had my phone and Mom texted me threatening to call the cops. Do you put family first, friends, relationships, school, or something else? I will never put my mental health behind anything/one again. What’s something you’ve stood up for in the past? When Colleen and I were friends in middle school, we both spoke before the class in absolute disgust at how our classmates were treating our poor substitute teacher. Colleen had AT them, while I was more tame about it but still wanted to bash into their heads that they were all being absolute trash to the poor man. What’s something you worked extremely hard to get? My mental wellbeing. Granted, I'm not exactly "well" now, but once upon a time I was living in the deepest ocean trench as far as depression goes. Are you satisfied with your body image? Hell no. I really, really, really hope loyally going to the gym will help me with that. Have you ever been labeled negatively or otherwise been called something extremely derogatory? Not that I know of. Have you ever seriously taken advantage of someone or been taken advantage of? No. Have you ever been seriously ill? Mentally, immensely. Physically, not really. I've had some nasty stomach bugs, but nothing truly severe. Have you ever befriended a former enemy? Ha, it's funny, I used to hate Jason's first ex/heartbreak for how badly she hurt him. Like she could've been falling off the face of the earth with only me to save her, and I'd let her keep falling. I hated her. Yet now we're Facebook friends and comment on each other's stuff like it's nothing, ha ha. She reached out to me a few years ago to apologize for high school stuff (she also hated me for Juan - her ex or something along those lines - being interested in me instead of her), we chatted a bit, and now I think she's great. If you’re not religious, would you ever pray as a last resort? If you are religious, do you often pray for other people? I don't pray anymore. That's all I'll say to keep this from becoming potentially very offensive. Have you ever dated someone, then after you dated they came out of the closet or switched (for lack of a better word) sexual orientation? I'm pretty sure my middle school boyfriend Aaron is gay, but I'm not certain. He vanished from Facebook a long time ago. Has a boy/girl ever walked a ridiculous distance just to see you? How about vice versa? I tried doing that the night of the breakup. By car, I know it was a seven-minute drive, but walking there, never mind at night, was ludicrous. I only didn't manage because after a few minutes, Mom came after me and kept cutting me off with the car. When was the last time you felt really uncomfortable? Right now. My abs REALLY hurt, and I'm also cramping like a motherfucker after not having a period for 3+ months because of TMS therapy. I'm still pissed about how it had a physical effect on me, but didn't mentally do what it was meant to. Is there anything that your mom is really known for as to how she is as a person? She is very, very loving and lives to help others. Who have you been talking to the most today? Nobody, really. I've spoken with Mom obviously, but for the most part, today's been quiet. Are you nosy? I can be pretty damn nosy, yes. What’s the meanest thing you have done to a friend? Consistently flirted with her boyfriend behind her back. I was 12, okay? If your ex called you crying, what would it most likely be about? THE ex, I have no idea. I don't know what's going on in his life, besides his mother dying quite a few months ago, but I don't see why he'd contact me about that. Who was the best kisser out of all the people you have kissed? Jason. Have you ever been told that you have an annoying laugh? No, but I think I do.

[chickensarentcheap]

Never Gonna Be Alone

A Tyler Rake/Established Female OC fic

Summary: A lot changes in five years. Now a family of nine, the Rakes are splitting their time between Australia and New York City. With Dhaka nothing but a distant yet still painful memory and the dirty work mostly behind him, Tyler is healthy and thriving. Not only as a husband and father, but as the acting founder and boss of his own mercenary business and co-owner of his wife's well loved and flourishing bookstore. But while love and domestic happiness abound, the past and its secrets are never far behind.

Huge thanks and tons of love to @tragiclyhip​ for never letting me give up! It’s thanks to her I ever actually finished off the last fic, or started this one.  And she also made my incredible banner! <3 <3 <3

Warnings: none

Tagging: @c-a-v-a-l-r-y​, @alievans007​, @innerpaperexpertcloud​, @tragiclyhip​

Prologue

FIVE YEARS LATER

******

The stand sits fifteen feet above ground and wraps halfway around the gnarled and twisted trunk of a centuries old Kapok tree. No hunter has made use of it in years; the stairs leading upwards weakened by harsh weather and neglect, wood cracking and bowing under the soles of well worn combat boots. Despite the added weight of gear and a kevlar utility vest, long legs and a wide stride make it easy to navigate the missing steps. His movements are purposeful and quiet; careful to avoid even the slightest snap of a twig or the rustle of dried and fallen leaves or the scratch of dirt and pebbles against the pitted and fragile wood. Any sound is a detriment in this environment; the lush and dense landscape so eerily still and silent that even a hint of noise would seem deafening. The slightest of movement has the potential to stir up the wildlife, which in turn would draw unwanted attention upwards from the banks of the Mekong River.

Even under the thick and expansive umbrella of the forest the heat is stifling. Humidity oppressive and choking. A thin layer of sweat gathers on his brow; errants droplets burning his eyes and gathering on the ends of his lashes. His shirt -long sleeved to not only provide cover in the jungle but protect from scrapes and cuts and the burn of the sun- nearly soaked right through; darkened patches under the arms and at the small of the back, the fabric clinging to dampened and slick skin. Fine beads settle around his mouth, and when he drops into a crouch at the top of the stand, he swipes his tongue over his top lip in an effort to clear away the sweat. It had been an hour hike through the jungle; moving swiftly and silently as he listened to directions being given through a transmitter he sports in his left ear. It’s sweltering and he’s thirsty; head pounding and his hands begin to tremble as the beginning stages of dehydration begin to settle in. He takes the time to remedy the situation. Shrugging off the rucksack slung over his left shoulder and dropping it onto the floor of the stand; hands shaking yet able to tear open the zipper. There’s two bottles of water packed in amongst the gear; extra pairs of socks in case of treks through swamps and marshes, two full clips of ammo that will only be used if someone on the other side is able to pinpoint his location and launch a full scale and fully armed search.

He hopes it doesn’t come to that.

Downing half a bottle of water, he uses the remains to cool himself down; splashing a handful of the liquid against his face and then dumping the rest over his head. Ten years ago, the elements wouldn’t have bothered him as much; he would have been thirty seven years old and still in relatively good shape. Physically AND mentally. And despite a consistent and punishing routine of heavy lifting, core training, and cardio, he’s definitely feeling the effects of both age and decades of hard and often dangerous living. Knees stiff and aching from the brisk hike over rough terrain and then through mud and thick brush; the arthritis that takes up residence in the small of his back and the right hip making its presence known. He’ll be sore tomorrow; every step he takes will send pain shooting through him, and for the next week he’ll wonder just why the hell he ever said ‘yes’ in the first place. Each stiff movement and slow step and aching muscle will remind him of just how things HAVE changed over the years. Gone are the days when he could skip a few days sleep; able to function on both little rest and minuscule amounts of food and drink. There’s no way he’d be able to do THAT now; push his body to the limits he’d been testing for so long. That man no longer exists. The one that would take the most dangerous and unpredictable jobs in hopes of catching a bullet. Who’d almost pray, beg and plead each and every time he went out that it would be his last; one sniper’s shot away from finally being put out of his miserable existence.

Things changed, of course. When he’d been least expecting them to. There’s way too much to lose now. It’s why every decision he makes now...every movement...matters so much. Even the smallest of mistakes can change the course of the future; one misstep potentially blowing his cover and leading to his untimely -and likely extremely brutal and bloody- demise. An hour away a helicopter waits for him; on standby to whisk him back to Vietnam and that little ‘hole in the wall’ hotel he’d been staying in. A quick shower and he’d back in the air; rushed to the nearest backwoods airport where a private jet would take him home. It’s been four days now; two spent in the planning stages before his first ‘hit’ in Laos and then the trek to Cambodia. Two for the price of one, Anil had said, although money matters very little now. These kinds of gigs are more a service; wiping out the dregs of society more of a gift to humanity than anything else.

He normally doesn’t take on jobs. A total of three in the past five years. This is the fourth AND fifth. The skills and the mindset quickly and effortlessly returning, the first kill a lot easier than he’d thought it would be. It’s like riding a bike; once the gun is in your hand and you’re peering through that scope, your finger easily finds and pulls the trigger. And this job had been impossible to turn down; the dirty and vile details hitting home and preying on his ‘human side’. Anyone in his position as a husband and father would have been enraged and disgusted. Drug runners and weapons smugglers that moonlight in abusing and torturing their wives and exploiting children. Sometimes even their own. People that evil don’t deserve to live; even a bullet between the eyes considered too kind. But it’s all he has time for. No ‘face to face’ meetings. He can’t be seen or even identified by name in order to protect his OWN family. He has to remain a ghost. An urban legend of sorts. Talked and gossiped about in drug circles and even among the local police and military who’d either been paid off by the criminals or had been hopeless and hapless when it came to stopping the activity. Nothing will be known about him. No glimpse of his appearance, no chance to hear his voice or even know his name. He’ll be known for just those ‘lucky shots’ he’d gotten in. Turned in to nothing more than rumours and speculation that will continue spreading long after he’s gone.

***

“T...you there?” Yaz’ voice through the earpiece. The reception is spotty; words broken up by heavy static.

He uses a forearm to wipe the mixture of water and sweat from his face, then lays a finger against the transmitter clipped to his vest. “I’m here.”

“Hot out there today, isn’t it.”

He smirks, then begins pulling pieces of a semi automatic rifle from the confines of the rucksack; hands moving quickly and efficiently as they snap and twist the weapon together. “I don’t want to hear your bitching. You’ve got air conditioning. I’m the one out in this shit.” His voice is low and quiet as he speaks. Even the smallest of sounds can travel great distances; echoing through the jungle and making its way down to the banks of the Mekong.

The river sits fifty yards to the south; muddy and heavily polluted and dotted with boats belonging to local fisherman. One vessel stands out from the crowd. A large and expensive houseboat; the chrome that lines the powerful motor and makes up the railings on the top deck sparkling in the sunlight. His mark is inside; meeting with some of Anil’s people acting under the guise of weapons buyers. When the time is right, the man in question will be led out onto the bottom deck and he’ll have one shot to get the job done. It’s another reason Anil had personally sought him out; his marksmanship impeccable, no other employee coming close to possessing that level of skill.

“You good?” Yaz inquires.

“Yeah…” he snaps the magazine in place and then switches off the safety. “...I’m good.”

“I’ll let you know when there’s movement. Going silent for now.”

He tears off the lid of the second bottle of water and takes a single sip before setting it down; using his sleeve to wipe both the opening and every side of the plastic. He can’t leave any trace of himself behind. Not a drop of sweat or a hint of saliva or his fingerprints. He’ll wipe the stand down before he leaves; methodically cleaning anything he may have come in contact with. IF his location is discovered, money talks. Anyone remotely related to his mark will pay to get answers, and the police will take what’s offered and collect every shred of possible evidence. He can’t take that chance. A single, unattached person may not care. Had he still been the guy living in the rundown and beaten up shack in the outback, he wouldn’t have thought twice about covering his tracks. But lives depend on him. A wife and seven beautiful little humans that count on him to protect them and keep them safe.

He CAN’T fuck this up.

Up in the stand he’s well hidden; camouflaged by the abundance of thick, lush greenery. It’ll be a tough shot through twisted and tangled branches; not even a foot of clearance between wood and leaves. Depending on exactly where his mark is led, he’ll compensate for that; pulling to the right or left in order to prevent the bullet from getting too ‘dirty’. He’s made tougher shots; mostly in his SASR days. And there’s no doubt he’ll make this one.

He bunches up the ruck sack and places it near the edge of the stand, facing the river. He’ll use it as both a ledge and a form of cushioning; balancing the long barrel of the rifle will provide stability and muffle the sound of the shot, disguising where it had originated from. He winces as he gingerly lowers himself onto his stomach; the cracking in his hip and the soreness in both knee and shoulder reminding him that he’s not as young as he used to be. Forty-seven is ancient in mercenary years. Most never make it that far. The odd few get to retire peacefully, but the majority are taken out by a bullet; one too many lapses in judgment and the smallest of errors leading to their deaths.

But most never get to have what he does either. A normal life with a family that loves him ; thousands of miles away, anxiously awaiting his return. It’s why he’s so careful; every decision he makes and every action he takes is done with them at the forefront of his mind. And he thinks about them now; warm and safe in the confines of a townhome in New York City. Four days ago they’d travelled from Australia and he’d promised to meet up with them as soon as the job was finished. It’s their third Christmas there; an eight bedroom brownstone in Gramercy Park. The kids especially enjoy spending the holidays there. Quickly falling in love with the idea of a white Christmas and enjoying all of the outdoor activities; sledding and skating and seeing the tree at Rockefeller Centre and visiting Santa and the reindeer in Central Park. And while life in the Big Apple had never appealed to him, the draw of Gramercy had been impossible to resist. Quiet and quaint; tree lined streets and a private park and neighbours that mind their own business and don’t ask too many questions. He’d initially worried about standing out like a sore thumb; tanned skinned and the array of tattoos and scars and the ‘Down Under’ accent. It turned out to be everything he HADN'T expected. The feeling of small town life within an enormous city.

The back of his hand swipes at the locusts and mosquitos that hover close to his face; their buzzing and humming both tickling and irritating his ears. The right isn’t as good as it used to be; hearing slightly muted and distorted thanks to years of both firing and coming in close contact with weapons. It’s another drawback to getting old. Along with his eyesight. Needing glasses to read or to spend anytime staring at a computer screen.

“They’re on the move.”

He blinks sweat from his eyes and wipes his lips and chin on the sleeve of his shirt. Then he settles in; bending his left leg at the knee and wriggling his stomach against the wood beneath him. The latter is mind over matter; as if the simple movement and the way he presses the toes of boots against the stand will improve both shot and stability. His finger hovers over the trigger; other hand lightly supporting the barrel of the gun, allowing the rucksack to bear the majority of the weight. Anil’s people come out first; identified by the tan linen suits he’d been told they’d be sporting. The ‘Mark’ is a middle aged man, clad in casual attire; olive green cargo shorts and a simple white golf shirt. He’s short and stocky with greying hair and a noticeable limp; a run in with a rival drug crew years ago resulting in the amputation of his leg and the acquisition of a prosthetic device.

His jaw clenches and his lips settle into a thin, pursed line. His heart hammers in his chest and both his shoulders and his chest tighten. It’s adrenaline. That unmistakable rush that comes before an imminent strike. He remembers it well. And it’s both surprising and disheartening how much he’s actually missed it.

As they chatter and laugh, one of Anil’s men places a hand on the Mark’s back and ever so slightly turns the other man in Tyler’s direction. It’s all he needs; just enough of the Mark’s forehead to ensure a ‘kill shot’. And he takes it; the sound slightly muffled but still deafening as it echoes through the jungle and stirs birds from their perches and wildlife from the safety of their nests and dens. The bullet easily tears through layers of leaves and bypasses branches; finding its target and sending the Mark sprawling backwards and then down into a pool of brain matter, fragments of skull, and quickly spreading blood.

“Target’s down.”

The words are simple. To the point. And as chaos erupts down by the river, he calmly begins his retreat; pushing himself up onto his feet and slinging the rifle over his shoulder. There’s no pressing need or rush; Anil’s people have made their quick escape and the screams and shouts are coming from startled fisherman and colleagues of the Mark that had been inside the houseboat. He has time; methodically cleaning every inch of both the stand and the stairs and making sure he’s left nothing behind.

“I’m heading back,” he says, shouldering the ruck sack and taking the stairs two at a time. He’s suddenly anxious to get on his way; feeling the relief that sets in as he begins his hour long trek.

A smile tugs at the corners of his mouth. Not from the success of the mission or the satisfaction that comes with ridding the world of yet another monster. It’s one of happiness. One of peace.

The realization that each step he takes brings him closer to home.

[eak8753]

“You Made Your Decision”

They had always been a duo. They always knew each other like no other. The two birds of the team; Raven and Robin

Everyone on the team could see it. The bond between the two of them became all the more noticeable when he went to hell for her. Cyborg and Beast Boy were wary; Cyborg thought of Raven as a sister and would never want harm to befall her, she was already hurt too much. Beast Boy had seen first hand what it was like when she was heart broken, they had been each other’s biggest ally’s after Terra and Malchior, helping one another through the heart break.

Starfire hadn’t seen it at first. She just assumed Robin and was being nice, being a friend to Raven. Although she often wondered why he had been the one to go to hell for their friend. It had made the most sense for her or Cyborg to go, but instead Robin had gone. It had taken years after her and the Titan’s leader’s break up to understand that he had been in love with his fellow bird.

It was subtle at first, he had always found Raven attractive but it wasn’t until Tokyo that he knew that he was hopelessly in love with her. However, at this point he was already with Starfire, he knew that the two of them wouldn’t last, so he would wait out the relationship. It was a cowardly move, yes, but he would not hurt his alien friend’s feelings. Plus, Raven had always been a bit slow when it came to emotions, she probably didn’t even realize what was between them.

She knew. She knew before Cyborg or Beast Boy. Before Robin and far before Starfire. Raven knew how she felt, she was never one to lie to herself, and she knew that Robin felt the same. She was, after all, an empath. But he was with Starfire; he had made his decision and she would give him the opportunity to make it again, just not now.

Yes, they had always been a duo. Always knew each other like no other. The two birds of the team; Raven and Robin

Well, now Raven and Nightwing.

He had gone away. Bruce had called him back because the media was getting angsty and thought that Dick had gone missing or was killed. That had been almost a year ago, but now he was back. His absence didn’t have a huge effect on the team. The Titans Tower had been a popular spot for meta’s and supernatural teens/youth to crash. Although the original team still remained they did have a few constant visitors; Donna Troy/Wonder Girl, Wally West/Kid Flash and Jinx, Jericho, and Argent to name a few. 

Another hero who visited constantly was Zachary Zatara. He was Zatanna’s little cousin and was a very skilled magician for his age. He had immediately taken a liking towards the empath and they often practiced magic together. He would invite her to his shows but she rarely came, preoccupied with something else.

It had been like this for years now. Everyone had grown accustomed to each other’s fighting styles and if one was to leave they could easily fill them in with another hero.

So no, the team’s fighting was affected by his absence but they did miss him. And he missed them. He decided that it would be fun if he surprised them. So he had taken the two hour flight from Gotham to Jump without their knowledge, got a cab from the airport to drop him off near a cafe and hauled his luggage the rest of the way. In hindsight, he probably should have called.

Once he entered the common room, two things happened. One, he was bombarded with hugs and “I missed you” “look who’s back” and other welcoming phrases. Two, Raven wasn’t there. If he was an adolescent he may have scolded himself over looking for her, but he knew now that he loved her and didn’t deny himself the simple pleasure of seeking her out.

“Hey guys, I missed you all too. It’s good to be back” he smiled up at his team, feeling the happiness radiating off of them. 

“So uh, where’s everyone else?” They knew immediately that he didn’t actually care where everyone else was. He cared about where Raven was, and they couldn’t help but cringe at their leaders' words. They knew, eventually he would come back and he would find out, they had just always assumed Raven would be here to tell him herself.

“She’s uh” Cyborg stepped in, trying to think of a place we’re the sorceress could be.

“Park” “Library” “Cafe” Dick heard them all say simultaneously, he could hear the guilt in each of their voices. What he couldn’t understand is why? Where could she possibly be that would make him upset. Wha-

Suddenly the doors to the common room opened revealing a young man with a tux and white gloves on, a young woman in a knee length dress covered in lilac lace. Her sleeves were elbow length and she had on a pair of silver heels. Half her hair was pinned up to the middle of her head and the other half down, a few pieces of hair around her face to frame it. 

The most disturbing thing about the picture however was the fact that the two of them were holding hands, while the boy smirked and the girl gave a slight smile. 

Dick knew that smile, it was the smile that she gave when she found something interesting or was in awe. The smile she gave when someone said something amusing. The smile she gave when she was appreciative. The smile she gave when she was at ease; the smile she had always given him, and only him.

Zachary and Raven entered the common room, quickly looking over they’re friends faces and as she saw him, her smile faded a bit. 

What was she doing holding Zachary Zatara’s hand? Didn’t she know that his cousin wanted her dead. And more importantly, she was supposed to be in love with him.

“Dick” Zachary said, surprise and amusement in his voice. “It’s good to have you back man” he said, noticing his gaze wasn’t in him. In his defense, he couldn’t take his eyes off Raven, she looked absolutely stunning and he had never seen her in a dress before. But where in the nine levels of hell was she and why was she with Zachary.

“Richard” she said, her voice monotone and cool; controlled. “Raven” he said in the same voice. Before he knew it though, he was pulled in a light hug by the small girl, and she gave a sigh. “Welcome back” her breathy voice said next to his ear, and he smiled as he returned the hug, basking in her warmth. All too suddenly though, she pulled away.

“When did you get back” she asked, and he was faintly aware of the guilt in her voice. “A few moments ago” he responded, and he was sure that his cheeks were lightly dusted in pink; it really wasn’t fair that she looked that good in a dress.

“You should have called, we would have picked you up” Zachary called, moving towards Raven once again. This snapped him out of his staring and he realized, for the second time that night, he didn’t know where she had been.

“Where were you guys anyway?” He said nonchalantly. His eyes were scanning her face, trying to see if there was anything he could pick up. Alas, she wasn’t called the “Ice Queen” for nothing.

“I had a show,” Zachary told him. Well that explained him being gone, but it didn’t explain Raven’s absence. Or why they were holding hands. Or why she was wearing a dress.

“And my presence was all but demanded” he heard her voice, the amusement evident in it.

“Yes, well” Zachary came around and turned her towards him, fully encircled her waist. “Forgive me for wanting to show off my breath-taking girlfriend” he said, leaning down to peck her lips.

“Girlfriend?” Dick asked. He mustn’t have heard them right, there was no way. Raven was in love with him, and he her. Sure they had never kissed, but he had kind of confessed before he left, he knew she understood what it stood for.

Turning towards Batman’s oldest son, the magician grinned. “Yeah, I finally plucked up the courage to ask her about 4 months ago.”

Four month. They had been in a relationship for 4 months and he didn’t know. He hadn’t really had a chance to call them while he was away, but had kept up with the news and knew of all of their battles; just as he knew they had kept up with the media and knew all about “Dick Grayson’s Return.”

Never had he thought any of their personal lives would have changed that much, least of all Raven’s. She didn’t like change and avoided it at all costs, it was only natural for him to assume that she wouldn’t have made such a drastic decision; that she would have waited.

Mumbling a quick excuse he left the common room to get some much needed rest. They would talk in due time, but for now he just wanted to wallow in his self pity. 

***

It had been a few days since his return and he had yet been able to get Raven alone. He sighed in his cup of coffee. He had just come back from patrol and had a couple of cuts along his body, not many and certainly not enough to warrant any attention but they still hurt.

However, no amount of physical pain could ever be equal to the hurt that the hole in his heart caused. He didn’t understand, she was supposed to be with him. They had been in this game of “will they, won’t they” for years. He thought once he came back they would finally be together but...

The sound of footsteps broke him out of his thoughts. He knew those footsteps, they were hers. 

“Raven” he said as she entered. She nodded towards him and made her way to the kettle, filling it with water. She was in her uniform; her classic blue cloak and a black catsuit. She turned around to face him, her back leaning on the counter. She looked tired but happy.

She looked beautiful 

“How have you been?” She asked, running a hand through her hair. He wondered what it would feel like to run his fingers through it, but he pushed those thoughts aside. 

“Fine” he grunted. He would have been better if it didn’t feel like he had been stabbed repeatedly; but hey, he had dealt with heartbreak before. ‘Not like this’ he thought.

“You're mad” she stated. Sighing she turned towards the kettle that started screaming and poured the water into a mug, adding a teabag when she was finished. Lastly she added some honey and turned back to him, one eyebrow raised.

“I’m not mad” he started off. “I just, I don't get it Raven. I thought you loved me.”

“I did”

“So then why? Why Zachary? Why ruin what we have?” He didn’t understand, sure he had relationships even though he was in love with him - Starfire case and point. But that was when she was unattainable, when he had just realized his feelings for her. It was different now, they were adults, not confused teenagers.

 “16 Dick. That’s how long we’ve been in love. That was when we went to Tokyo, when you kissed Kori, when you found out you loved me.” 

He was stunned, he really thought she didn’t know how he felt until last year when he had semi confessed to her. Empath. She had known, for all these years, felt everything he had. Yet, she chose him, even after she knew how he felt about her, she chose him.

“Did you really think I was gonna wait forever?” 

“Huh” came his intelligent reply.

“It’s been four years Dick, you made your decision. You made it all those years ago when you kissed Star in Tokyo, re-made it when you held her hand in front of the world.”

“I thought that once you two broke up we could be together, but then you went to Gotham. You made your decision again.” She knew this conversation was necessary but she really wished it could have been had when she hadn’t just woken up and yet to mediate.

“I had no choice, Bruce needed me and I couldn’t just leave him hanging-” No matter how much I wanted to be with you, he wished he could add, but she didn’t give him the chance.

“Did you have no choice in getting involved with Barbara? Did Bruce need you for that too? You made your choice Dick, whether it was the right one or not you made it.” She said so quietly he strained his ears listening.

“Well what was I supposed to do? We couldn’t be together at the time and the media ate it up. Sure, I had feelings for her  but they’re nothing compared to the ones I have for you.” He pleaded with her, trying to show her his side. 

“Look Dick, I know now that we can’t be together; never could”

“But we can be, we could have been if you hadn’t got together with Zachary. If you had-“

“Shawn” her voice broke. “What” he asked. What did she have to do about this, they had been together for less than two weeks. 

“I thought the reason you didn’t tell me about your feelings after yours and Kori’s breakup was because you were embarrassed to be seen with me.”

“Even if I could do the heels and dresses, I would never be accepted by high society. I’m not tall or undeniably beautiful; not like Star or Babs. But then you got with Shawn and I knew that no matter how much you loved me or how much I loved you, we could never be together.” She slightly screamed, but did Raven ever scream. She looked to be on the verge of tears and he just wanted to wrap her in his arms and  tell her everything was gonna be okay.

But they weren’t, things had become so strained between them, he didn’t know if they could be fixed; but he hoped, oh god he hoped they could.

“So when Zachary asked me out, I said yes. He’s loved me almost as long as you have, he just did something about it first. Yeah, I gave up on ‘us’ first, but you drove me to that point. I wasn’t going to wait forever Richard.” 

“Do you love him?” He swallowed, he didn’t want to know the answer but he had to ask.

“No” she shook her head. “I don’t love him, and he knows that. But I like him, oh Azar, I really, really like him Richard. He's amazing and patient and funny and a little flashy and cocky but in an enduring way.” She rambled, and he let her, for although he loved her and every word she spoke was a stab to the heart, she was still his friend first and foremost. He would pretend to be happy for her, even if he was dying on the inside.

Speak of the devil and he shall arrive, Zachary walked into the kitchen, hair and shirt disheveled. Grumbling he walked up the sorceress and pecked her on the cheek, grabbing the mug from her hands and taking a sip from the tea. Sighing in contentment he turned to go make a proper breakfast.

“Toast or waffles?” He asked the mage. “Waffles” she said without missing a beat, excitement in her eyes. The magician chuckled at her expression and taped her on the nose lightly. 

He loved moments like these, moments where he didn’t have to be “Zachary: Teen Magician.” Sure he loved performing, but he would be happy to just sit and read with the dark girl. He still couldn’t believe she was his, after years of silently pinning after her, she was his.

Turning around he addressed the Titans leader, nodding towards him. He knew of their history, more than Raven thought he did. It was one of the reasons he had been  so shocked when she said yes, but she had and he made sure that she didn’t regret it everyday they spent together.

“I have to meditate, I’ll be done in an hour and after breakfast I have to go into town and pick up a few things” she said to both of them.

“I’ll come” Zachary insisted, and surprisingly she didn’t put too much of a fight, he assumed whatever had happened between her and Dick had taken a lot of her emotionally. He made a mental note to check up on her as he watched her retreating form.

“You know” he said to the acrobat. “You May have been the one to go to hell for her. But don’t think for a second you’re the only one willing to.”

“Excuse me” the leader supplied.

“I know you love her, but so do I” with that he turned back to making breakfast.

The Titans leader just found himself nodding towards the magician before leaving for his room.

As he entered he leaned his head against the door, feeling the tears underneath his eyelids. He smiled a bit sadly. 

She may be taken at the moment, but they had been friends since they were 14. They had their whole lives ahead of them to get together; they had time.

[bellaireland1981]

Lights, Camera, Coffee in LA

Ok, this is my absolute first time posting a story I’ve written and I am anxious as hell about it lol. Please be kind! 

Summary: Elena “Lena” is off to LA for the summer to visit her brother. Her summer gets off to a great start when she ends up sat next to none other than Chris Evans on the plane. (I suck at summaries!) Thank you SO much to @denisemarieangelina​ for reading and providing feedback, and a WAY better title than I’d managed to think of! You’re AMAZING! 

Characters: Chris Evans x OFC Elena

Word count: 4921

Warnings: None... absolute fluff

“I’m boarding the plane now, Mikey,” I gasped, out of breath from running through the airport.

“Oversleep again, Lena?” He asked laughing on the other end.

“Actually, my Uber was late and then we hit traffic on the freeway, thank you very much!” I said, indignantly, making my way down the gangway and onto the plane.

“Ok, well safe flight, I���ll see you in a few hours.” he responded, “Love you, Sis!”

“Love you too, Mikey! Can’t wait to see you!” I was excited to see my big brother. He’d moved out to L.A. when I was 12 years old to pursue a career in acting. He’d made a name for himself on a soap opera, but had decided he preferred being behind the camera instead of in front of it.

I quickly located my seat and stowed my carry-on in the overhead compartment before dropping into the seat by the window. One perk of having Michael book my tickets was an upgrade to first class.

I had just finished another year teaching 2nd grade and was looking forward to spending time in California with my big brother. Due to budget cuts, we had ended up with overcrowded classrooms this past year (meaning I’d had a class of 30 second graders as opposed to the normal 20 I was used to!). Needless to say, I was exhausted and needed a break.

“Can I get you something to drink before we take off ma’am?” a flight attendant asked me, smiling.

“Do you have any tea?” I asked, smiling back at her, I hadn’t had time to stop for caffeine on my way to the airport and wasn’t firing on all cylinders yet. “Or at this point, I’d drink week-old coffee resembling mud.”

“We can’t have you drinking mud, I’d be happy to get you some tea” She replied laughing, “Any milk, sugar, or honey?”

“Just plain, please!” I replied, “You’re seriously a life-saver!”

“All part of my job title!” She said before collecting the pre-flight drink orders from other passengers settling into their seats.

“A fellow caffeine addict, huh?” A smooth, deep voice sounded next to me. It appeared as though my seat neighbor had arrived.

“Not even ashamed to admit to that! “In all fairness though, it is before 8 in the morning, and a Monday no less.” I smiled up at the newcomer, and almost swallowed my tongue in the process.

Chris freaking Evans was standing less than a foot away, placing his bag in the overhead compartment. He had on a gray Henley with the sleeves pushed up, jeans, and a NASA hat pulled down to help disguise his identity.  Pull it together Lena, do NOT fangirl on the poor guy!

“Both fair points!” He said taking his seat and turning slightly towards me. Even with the added room in first class, he was still insanely close to me. I could smell his cologne or aftershave, which didn’t help my already overloaded senses.  “I’m Chris, by the way.”

“Elena” I replied, smiling, “Everyone just calls me Lena though.”

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Lena” He replied with a smile of his own. Ugh, his azure blue eyes were seriously going to be my downfall. “What has you headed to L.A?”

“My brother lives there. I’m just going to visit for the summer. “A much-needed break from reality.” I replied, impressed that my inner fangirl wasn’t showing through...at least I hoped it wasn’t noticeable to Chris.

“I can definitely understand the need for a break.” He said, “The whole summer, huh? Must be a teacher?”

“Very good deduction skills!” I said laughing

“My older sister is a teacher as well, it was an easy deduction to make” He smirked, winking at me. “What do you teach?”

“I’m a second-grade teacher, although there are days I’d say ‘kitten wrangler’ would be a better job title.” I replied honestly. “Especially this past school year.”

“An entire room full of, what… 8-year-olds?” His eyes widened, “That’d be like a room full of my nephews… yeah, you need a break!”

“Yeah, 7 and 8-year-olds… 30 of them to be exact.” I replied, “I’m a kitten-wrangling ninja, what’s your superpower?”

He threw his head back at that and laughed, his left hand coming up to grab his chest. I smiled like an idiot at the fact that I was able to make him laugh hard enough to get the left boob grab.

“Super-human strength, quick healing abilities, and I look damn good for 100!” He replied, cheekily.

“Your tea Ma’am” the flight attendant interrupted, bringing my much-needed drink.

“Thank you so much!” I replied, taking the steaming cup.

“Can I get you anything, Mr. Evans?” she asked Chris, batting her eyelashes at him. I turned my head away to quickly stifle the snicker that was bubbling up.

“I’m good for now, thanks though.” He replied, then turning back towards me.

“Get that often, Mr. Evans. Or do you prefer Captain?” I asked as the flight attendant walked away.

“So, you do know who I am. I wasn’t too sure if you did or didn’t know.” He replied, laughing nervously.

“Yeah, figured that one out as soon as I looked up.” I replied gently, “But, honestly, I get that constant public adoration can get old, so I kept the fangirling to a minimum.”

“Fangirling, huh?” He asked, his smile getting bigger. “So, you’re a fan?”

“I may or may not be team Cap” I replied, my inner nerd shining through.  “I’m also team Thor though, so…”

“I’ll take it!” He replied laughing, “You said team Cap first, so that’s all I’m hearing.”

It was my turn to throw my head back laughing at his child-like response. It was nice to see the playful side of Chris, the true person that he is not the actor everyone knows.

“Welcome aboard flight 723 with non-stop service to LAX.” One of the flight attendants announced, “We will be pushing back and getting underway here in the next few minutes. At this time, we ask that you make sure that your seatbelts are fastened and return any seats and trays to the upright position. We are right on time, and should be landing at LAX at approximately 9:55 am local time.”

“Ugh, this is my least favorite part of flying. I wish I could just click my heels and arrive wherever I want to be.” I admitted to him in a nervous manner.

“Not a fan of flying?” He asked sympathetically, looking over at me.

“In general, flying is fine” I responded, trying to keep my breathing normal, “It’s taken off and landings I’m not exactly fond of.”

“Did you have a bad experience?” He asked out of curiosity.

“Nope” I replied, “But the way I see it, if something goes wrong at either takeoff or landing, you’re close enough to the ground still where chances are it’s going to hurt. When you’re in the air, you’re high enough up where if you crash, you’re just dead and won’t know how much the pain sucks.”

Chris was momentarily speechless as he processed my theory. I’m sure the theory is flawed but hey, fears are generally irrational right?

“Wow” he said finally, “I can’t say I’ve ever thought of it that way before.”

“I’ve never actually put that into words before, and I will admit that it does sound absurd.” I replied, “It sounded much less insane in my head.”

“No, not insane.” He quickly reassured me, “Probably has some validity to it...somewhere.”

“You’re way too nice!” I replied smiling, “Let’s pretend I didn’t disclose that information, and you don’t know the level of my nerdiness.”

“We’ve all got some nerdiness in us,” he replied with a flirty smile, “But I have to admit that the nerdiness is pretty damn adorable on you.”

I could feel my face heating up at the compliment. Holy shit, Chris Evans just called me adorable. My inner fangirl was screaming.

Before I was able to form a response, the plane started moving away from the gate. I could feel anxiety starting to boil in my gut. I gripped the armrest of my seat, knuckles turning white.

“Hey” Chris said softly, pulling my attention away from the window, “Keep breathing, Lena” His

right hand reached over and gently engulfed my hand in his own. I took a deep breath and forced myself to relax.

“I promise I’m not normally such a spaz.” I said apologetically, looking at him.

“None of that,” He said smiling, “We all have things that make us anxious. No judgement here.”

“So, are you heading back to L.A. for work or is that your home base?” I asked, trying to focus on something else.

“A little of both actually.” He replied, “I’m meeting with a director about a film I’m really interested in doing, but I do have a house in L.A. that I spend a lot of time at. Home though… that’s always Boston. Where is home for you?”

“I live in Providence, but I grew up in Newport.” I replied, “With the exception of my brother, the rest of my family is all still in Rhode Island.”

“Another New Englander!” He said smiling broadly, “It’s not Boston, but… you’re in the right region!”

“The only time I’m ever in Boston is when I’m catching a flight.” I admitted, “I always tell myself I’m going to drive up and spend some time there especially Salem, but something always comes up.”

“What!?” He exclaimed, “There is so much more to Boston than the AIRPORT!”

I laughed at the shock and dismay displayed on his face and in his voice.

“I’ll make a point to get there before I go back to work this fall.” I laughed, crossing my heart like the second graders I taught often did.

“I’ll hold you to that” He said, attempting to give me a stern look...but failing, as the laughter in his eyes gave him away. “What are you planning on doing while in L.A. this summer?”

“My brother actually lives in Malibu, so I will be spending as much time at the beach as possible.” I was very excited to spend time in the Pacific Ocean, surfing and hopefully diving at some point. The Atlantic was great, but definitely much colder. “I will also be buying an annual pass to Disneyland so I can go as often as I want and get my Disney fix. Once will definitely not be enough.”

“You’re a Disney fan too?” Chris asked, eyes growing wide, “You’re perfect you know that?”

“Far from it, I assure you.” I laughed, “Just ask my brothers.”

“Are you a Patriot’s fan?” he asked, turning his whole body towards me now. “Because seriously, if you are, I’m marrying you as soon as we get off this plane.”

I laughed and tucked a stray piece of brown hair back behind my ear nervously.

“I’m not really into football…” I replied smiling, “I’m more of a soccer fan. I enjoy baseball too.”

“I can accept that” He replied smiling widely, “I don’t know much about soccer, but what’s your favorite baseball team?”

“The Red Sox.” I replied, “My dad is a huge Sox fan, as are all my brothers. Mikey tries to play like he’s a Dodger fan now that he lives in L.A, but honestly that’s just to mess with my dad.”

“I was right, Lena.” Chris said teasingly, “You're legitimately perfect.”

“Even if I’m not a football fan?” I laughed. Butterflies were swarming in my belly for a whole new reason now. My fear of taking off, long forgotten. I glanced quickly out the window to realize we were in the air. Chris had kept me occupied to ease my anxiety during takeoff.  “Well played, Evans.” I said, looking back over at him. He shrugged and gave me a boyish smile.

“Sometimes it helps to keep the mind busy when you’re anxious so that you aren’t focused on what is causing the anxiety.” He replied, seemingly from experience.

“Thank you” I replied simply. I wasn’t sure what else to say.

“So, what’s your favorite ride at Disney?” He asked, changing topics.

“Is it acceptable to say that I love them all?” I asked him hopefully. Seriously, how do you choose just one ride?

“Nope. You got to pick one,” he said, shaking his head, “No cop out answers.”

“Ok, well I adore Space Mountain, but I also love The Matterhorn. The Haunted Mansion though is also a favorite…” I replied, “Best I can do is Top 3 favorites.”

“Fair enough, I suppose,” He conceded, “Good choices too. You went with the classics.”

“What are your favorite rides?” I asked, “And no ‘cop out’ answers either.”

“Space Mountain.” He said without hesitation. “That’s the one I could ride all day.”

“Favorite Disney movie?” I asked him.

“Of all time? Dumbo” he replied, “But I honestly love all the Classic Disney movies, and the newer ones too. What’s yours?”

“All-time favorite… Pinocchio.” I replied thoughtfully. “I adore Jiminy Cricket. But I also wore out two copies of the Oliver and Company movie.”

“I love Oliver and Company!” He exclaimed, “My dog, Dodger, is named after the Dodger in that movie!”

“It’s a great movie.” I agreed, “Where’s Dodger now?”

“He’s back in Boston with my mom and sister.” he said, a sad smile on his face. It was obvious he loved his dog. I’d read and watched interviews with him, whenever asked about his dog he lit up like a kid at Christmas.

“Are you going to be in L.A for a long time?” I asked

“Depends on my meeting with the director, I guess.” He replied, “If it goes well, I’ll bring Dodge out and we’ll stay out here until filming ends. I don’t have anything else on the schedule at the moment. Just finished my contract with Marvel.”

“It’s got to be a good feeling to have the freedom to just relax and pick what you want to work on.” I said, “I won’t lie though, I’m heartbroken you won’t be Captain American anymore.”

“It was hard to walk away after the last day on set, but it was definitely time. I was burning out.” he said honestly, “I feel like I went out on the right note though.”

“I’ll admit that I literally ugly cried in the theater during Endgame.” I confided in him, “Complete with crocodile tears, blotchy eyes...the whole nine yards. You broke my heart into a million tiny pieces.”

“But it’s not like Cap died!” he reasoned, “He just finally got the chance to live out the life he wanted!”

“Although that part did make me teary, the part that broke me was watching Cap get his heart broken when Natasha and Tony died.” I explained, “The scene where you’re sitting there and the tears are falling… ugh.”

“If it helps, it was extremely difficult for us all to make it through that film.” He said, “We were all emotionally attached to the characters.”

“That does make me feel better, thanks.” I replied.

The rest of the flight was spent talking about anything and everything. I was so caught up in the

conversation that I never even heard them announce we were beginning our descent into L.A., so when the plane touched down and started to taxi up to the terminal gate, I was shocked.

“Again, well played Mr. Evans” I laughed looking back over to Chris. “Thank you”

“I really enjoyed this flight, Lena.” He said smiling, “I’m actually kind of sad we’ve landed.”

“I can honestly say, this is the best flight I’ve ever had.” I admitted, a blush spreading over my neck and face. “I wouldn’t have been sad if it had been longer.”

The plane had taxied into the designated gate and came to a stop. Around us people were rushing to gather up their belongings.

“As crazy as this sounds, I’d really like to see you again.” Chris said, looking anxious for the first time since he’d introduced himself. It was as though he doubted, you’d want to see him again, which made absolutely zero sense! 

“It doesn’t sound crazy, Chris” I reassured him softly. “I would like to see you again too.”

“Put your number in my phone and then I’ll text you so you have mine.” He said handing me his phone.

I quickly typed my number into his phone before handing it back to him. He finished saving the contact info and then sent a text to me. I heard my phone’s notification ping, alerting me to a new message. It was if the ping of my phone set off a swarm of butterflies in my belly. The anxiety from earlier in the flight was back, but for a whole new reason.

I opened up the message from Chris and quickly saved his contact info. Chris grabbed his bag down out of the overhead compartment then grabbed mine down and handed it over to me.

“I’m assuming since you’re here for a while, you’ve got more luggage checked” He laughed,

“Either that, or you travel extremely light.”

“Honestly, I probably over packed” I laughed, rolling my eyes at myself. “I never know what I’ll need or want when traveling so I just throw it all into the luggage and go with it.”

“That’s one way to do it, I suppose.” He winked at me, “If you don’t mind, I’ll walk with you that way.  I’m getting picked up at arrivals anyway.”

“I don’t mind at all.” I replied, “My brother is supposed to be picking me up. I’m guessing he’ll be at arrivals too.”

We walked towards baggage claim, making our way through the large crowds at LAX. I noticed

Chris kept hat down low over his eyes, doing his best to blend in and not be recognized. He stayed close to me, trying to avoid being separated.

We arrived at baggage claim right as the bags were starting to appear on the conveyor belt.

Luckily, my bag came around quickly. I grabbed it off the belt and turned around, almost running straight into Chris. I hadn’t realized he was so close.

“Sorry!” he said, a boyish grin on his face, as he steadied me, “I didn’t want to lose you in the crowd.”

“No worries” I said breathily, enjoying the close proximity to him. “I think this is the fastest my bag has ever gotten off the plane. Thankfully, it wasn’t lost this time!”

“That’s happened before?” His eyebrows shot up in shock, “That must have sucked!”

“It did” I agreed, “I was in Germany too, which made it even worse. I was with a student group and we weren’t staying in one spot, so it was quite the production getting my stuff to me!”

“Well at least had it happened here, you’d have been stationary” He laughed, “How long did it take to get reunited with your luggage?”

“It took 3 days for it to catch up with us.” I said, “Thankfully, I had enough in my carry on that I was able to survive the separation.”

“LENA!” I heard a familiar voice yell. I quickly looked up and around for the source of the voice to find my sister in law, holding a neon green sign with my name in pink sparkles. I laughed, shaking my head at her.

“Talia!” I giggled heading over to her and hugging her. I adored my sister in law, in fact, she was probably my favorite. “Was the sign necessary?”

“Of course, it was!” she replied laughing, “I’d hate to be accused of being basic!”

“Extra… yes” I laughed, “Never basic.”

“I see you’ve made a friend already” She said, glancing over to where Chris was standing, his eyes dancing with laughter at the exchange.

“Talia, this is Chris.” I said making the introduction. I figured she had already figured out exactly who he was. “Chris, my sister in law, Talia.”

“It’s a pleasure to meet you Chris” She said smiling brightly. Talia is also a huge Marvel fan, but she’s more team Iron Man/ RDJ. Being married to my brother, she was used to being around celebrities and has perfected the art of remaining cool. I had a feeling I needed to take a page from her book this summer if I was going to survive in my brother’s world.

“It’s nice to meet you too, Talia.” Chris responded warmly.

“Ok, let’s get out of here!” Talia exclaimed, “Michael gave me strict orders to bring you straight to him before going to the house. I think he missed his baby sister.”

“I’ve definitely missed him too” I said, excited to see him.  

We all headed out of the airport and into the balmy California weather. I smiled looking around at the palm trees and feeling thesunshine beat on my face. It was going to be a great summer!

Straight ahead of us was a pick up line filled with limos, black SUVs, and sedans along with their drivers holding signs with the people they were looking for.

“There’s my ride,” Chris said, seeing his name in the line. He wrapped me in a quick hug before pulling back and smiling. “I’ll text you later Lena and we can make plans to get together.”

“Sounds great!” I beamed, trying to remember how to breathe. Chris Evans just hugged me!

Talia and I quickly made our way across the pickup lanes and headed towards the parking garage attached to the airport.

“Already making friends with Hollywood Heartthrobs before even landing in L.A., huh?” Talia joked as I threw my luggage into the back of her black Land Rover.

“He’s super sweet, Lia!” I gushed, “He kept me occupied the entire flight, especially during takeoff and landing, so I wouldn’t freak out. We talked about everything, and he never made me feel like a major dork.”

“Michael has mentioned several times that he’s very down to earth and a genuinely nice person.” She revealed, “He’s actually meeting with Chris this week about a part in the film he’s directing.”

“Ohmygod!” I exclaimed, “THAT’S the movie he was talking about? He said he was in town to meet with a director but never said what the film was or which director. What is the flipping’ odds he’d be meeting with my brother?”

“Hollywood is actually not that big” Talia said laughing, “Everyone is essentially connected to someone through a mutual friend. Not that shocking he’d know Michael. I’m guessing Chris didn’t put it together?”

“My last name never came up honestly” I replied, “Well, I guess this means I’m guaranteed to see him again!”

Being that it was past rush hour, it didn’t take too long to get from the airport to the studio lot where Michael was preparing for his next film. Talia found a parking spot close to a large building that I assumed contained a sound stage.

“Alright, he’s inside meeting with a few set designers. He said to come straight in when we got

here.” Talia said getting out of the vehicle.

We walked into the building, which currently looks like a cross between an airplane hangar and a warehouse.

“There’s my Little-Bit!” Michael said jogging over towards us. He quickly scooped me up into a hug, lifting me off the ground and spinning me around. “I’ve missed your kiddo!”

“I’ve missed you too, Mikey!” I said laughing, “I hate that we live on opposite sides of the country now!”

“I know, Kiddo.” He said setting me back on my feet and taking a step back, “You know, there are plenty of schools out here you can teach at.”

“Don’t tempt me!” I joked, “We just had one of the worst winters in over a decade this year… the temptation to leave it all behind is strong.”

“I know you probably want to get settled and freshen up from your trip, but I couldn’t wait to see you” He said, “I have a few more meetings but should be out of here by early afternoon, so we can make plans to go out somewhere for dinner tonight.” 

“Perfect, I am in desperate need of shower and clean clothes.” I replied, “Other than that, my social calendar is wide open.”

“For now, at least.” Talia teased, bumping into me and smirking. “I doubt it stays that way.”

“Yeah, I’m totally on the prowl to fill my calendar” I rolled my eyes, trying to play her comment off so Michael wouldn’t ask questions.

“That’ll be hard to do if you spend all summer at Disney, Little-Bit.” Michael teased, “Although, I hear Goofy is still single.”

“Oh wow, all have jokes today.” I laughed, turning towards Talia “On that note, I’m ready to leave now.”

“OK, you’re chariot awaits milady!” She responded, “I’ll see you at home, baby.”

“Drive safe, stay out of trouble.” He said, “Love you both.”

________________________________

I woke the next morning to my cell phone alerting me to a new message. I sat up and grabbed my phone. I was shocked that I’d managed to sleep past nine. I leaned back against the queen-sized headboard and opened up my text messages.

C: 7:35AM Hey Lena, I’ve got a meeting this morning about that project I mentioned but would

really love to see get together later if you’re available. Maybe get some coffee, or another beverage?  

C: 8:00 AM Ok, that sounded really lame. Let me try again. Lena, would you like to go out for a drink later?

L: 9:04 AM Hi! Sorry, I just woke up! You didn’t sound lame at all. I’d love to get coffee...or another beverage with you later! I don’t think I have anything going on today. Let me track down my brother to make sure he didn’t plan anything.

I pushed the covers back and got out of bed, my bare feet sinking into the plush carpet in the guest bedroom I was staying in. I pulled my long brown hair up into a messy knot on top of my head, deciding to deal with it later, and headed downstairs in search of Michael or Talia to see what the plans for the day were.

Once I reached the bottom of the stairs, I could hear voices on the back patio that overlooked the beach. I detoured to the kitchen first to grab a bottle of water from the fridge before heading out to the patio.

I opened the French doors and stepped out onto the cool bricks, before stopping dead in my tracks like a deer caught in headlights.

“Morning, Little Bit!” Michael said cheerfully, oblivious to my panic. “This is Chris, I’m trying to recruit him for my current project.”

“We actually met on the plane yesterday,” Chris said, winking at me with a smirk, “Morning, Lena. Love your shirt.”

I quickly glanced down, forgetting what I was wearing, and realized I still had on my old Red Sox tank and a pair or navy-blue sleep shorts.

“Thanks” I laughed nervously, “Good Morning.”

“Grab a seat Lena and join us for breakfast” Michael offered, “Lia had to meet with a client this morning, but will be back later.”

I sat down, next to Michael, which put me directly across from where Chris was sitting. I grabbed some grapes from the fruit bowl and placed them on the plate in front of me. Michael passed a platter of bacon and toast, so I added some of that to my plate as well.

“Lia made sure to make some of the bacon extra crispy for you too” Michael said shaking his

head, “although by that point it’s like eating straight bacon bits.”

“I’ll only eat it when it’s crispy because I can’t stand the idea that I’m gnawing on pig fat.” I replied, sticking my tongue out at him. “You’re lucky I’m even eating pork again.”

“There was a time you didn’t eat pork?” Chris asked, his eyebrow cocked.

“I had to dissect a pig in my honors biology class sophomore year.” I replied, “my lab partner was a little over zealous, and after a week of picking at a pig carcass, I couldn’t bring myself to eat pork anymore.”  

“She wouldn’t eat any meat for about a month.” Michael added smiling at me.

“What made you decide to start eating meat again?” Chris asked curiously.

“I missed cheeseburgers” I shrugged, “Being a vegetarian wasn’t working for me, so I decided to be a porketarian instead.”

Chris laughed, shaking his head, “How long did you go without eating pork?”

“I just started eating it again about a year ago.” I admitted. “So, about 20 years.”

“That’s a long time.” he said looking shocked, “What made you decide to eat it again?”

“She missed bacon” Michael replied.

“Pretty much” I agreed. “I missed BLTs… and turkey bacon wasn’t the same.”

“Fair enough” Chris said.

“So, what’s on your agenda today Mickey?” I asked my brother, steering the conversation away from me.

“I have a couple of meetings at the studio but I should be wrapped up by late afternoon, I was planning on grabbing steaks on the way home so we can throw them on the grill tonight.” He replied, “What are your plans for today?”

“I was thinking of going to grab coffee, or a beverage of some kind today” I smirked at Chris.

___________________________

That’s all I’ve got! Should I make a part 2?? Thanks for reading!!

[breakingsomething]

the fall - part four (this time it's personal)

basic summary: anti's not having a good time. no one is, actually. also - plot twist time! who's excited?

trigger warnings: injury, mentions of torture, abuse (?)

pick up, pick up, pick up…

marvin cursed and let his phone drop to his side again, leaning his head back to stare at the clouds above them. he'd been trying to get ahold of someone for about half an hour, but the line just kept ringing and ringing. he wasn't sure what would happen if she didn't answer soon. it was getting dark, and he didn't know what else to do.

swearing under his breath, he tried to call chase again. as he'd expected, he didn't pick up, and neither did henrik when he called him again a few minutes later. they had mentioned to him earlier that they were planning to spend the day out in the town, so he could get why they weren't answering. they were just busy. just busy. nothing had happened, they were just busy.

fuck, he really hoped nothing had happened to them.

anti let out a sudden groan, and marvin was immediately at his side. "you ok?" he asked, and anti responded by weakly flipping him off as his face contorted in pain. he turned himself away as much as he could, curling into himself on the ground.

"you have leaves in your hair again," marvin said flatly. anti didn't even grace him with a response this time.

a few silent moments passed before marvin heard a low grumbling sound that he might have ignored if anti hadn't whimpered and hugged his stomach. marvin bit his lip, considering whether to say anything.

"are you, uh… hungry?" marvin said uncertainly. anti said nothing. marvin was going to press the issue, but his phone suddenly buzzed and he sat straight up, fumbling on the ground next to him. he almost sobbed in relief when he saw who was calling him.

"hej, pyro!" came naomi's cheery voice. he could hear her fiddling with something that made a clicking sound on the other end of the line. "if you want to come round the shop, i could use some help. i messed up a spell and there are roots in the fucking toilet."

marvin squeezed his eyes tight and briefly clamped a hand over his mouth to stop himself from sobbing. "naomi, naomi," he said, his breath hitching. "fuck, i need help."

there was a creaking of a door, and the sound of footsteps. "marvin, what's wrong? did something happen? what can i do?"

he almost laughed at how immediately protective she was. "my brother - i -" he suddenly realized he had no idea how to explain what was going on. he took a deep, shuddering breath, readying himself. "jackie's went off the fucking rails and my other brother who i don't talk about cause he hates us all is now injured because of jackie and i rescued him but i don't know where to go now cause i can't bring anti home and i don't know where henrik and chase are and i've lost jackie and i'm scared, nai, i don't know what to do!"

"marvin, calm down!" naomi cried. "slow down, you - your other brother, the bad one, he's hurt?"

"yes!" marvin wailed, and he covered his face to try and calm his rapidly rising panic levels. "i don't know what to do!"

it seemed he was saying that a lot lately.

"ok, it's ok," naomi said soothingly, and marvin tried to level his breathing. "bring him round the shop. it's protected here, i can try my best. i - i don't know the most of medical things, though."

"that's ok, that's cool," marvin said. "i - he's hurt pretty bad, nai. i don't know if he can walk."

naomi cursed silently. "i don't have a car, i'll - i'll get someone from hecate to come get you guys."

anti sat up slightly, and marvin's eyes widened. "best not to mention hecate right now, dude," he muttered, turning away from anti so as not to see his face.

"ok, cool. where are you?"

he told her and they ended the call.

immediately, anti slapped marvin's arm, trying to get his attention. marvin sighed and turned round, already knowing what he wanted. "what?"

"h-e-c-a-t-e," anti signed, his movements slow and clumsy. "the magic -"

his hands dropped to his chest and he closed his eyes, breathing heavily. marvin glanced up at the sky again, wishing he were anywhere but here.

"really?" he sighed. "even when you're this sick and injured, you're listening in on my phone conversations?"

despite himself, anti smirked, and marvin let out a long breath. "we're not talking about this," he said firmly. anti began to sign something again, but marvin pushed his hands back down. "no. we are not doing this right now."

anti made a noise and fell silent. the situation must be grim, marvin thought, if anti was passing up the opportunity to talk about secret magical organizations.

he decided it'd be best if he just sat back and waited.

-

"jackie, can you tell us where the fuck we're going?"

henrik gripped chase's hand tightly, not even looking up at his words. he'd been going in and out of extreme panic ever since jackie mentioned anti, and had long ago stopped speaking in favour of just staring straight in front of him, wide eyed. jackie, on the other hand, completely ignored him, racing round the street corner at what was definitely far beyond the speed limit even though chase couldn't see the dash from the back seat. chase furrowed his brow and squeezed henrik's hand reassuringly. "jackie!"

"we're getting away!" jackie said loudly, smacking the dash with his palm. "getting you guys as far the fuck away as we can!"

chase shivered, opening and closing his hands anxiously. "you still haven't explained what happened to marvin," he said, voice shaking. "i - will you just tell us what happened?"

"when we fucking get there," jackie said angrily, and took one hand off the wheel to grab something small and black from his hoodie pocket. "now shut the fuck up, man, i need to concentrate on driving."

"jackie - get where?" chase cried. henrik made a small noise of distress and rested his head on the back of jackie's seat. "i don't know where we're going! please, just tell us, is marvin ok?"

"he's with fucking anti, do you think he's ok?" jackie snarled. chase could hear a low humming noise. "anti's fucking turned him against me!"

chase paused, listening to the sounds of the road. "against… you?"

there was a moment of silence, until jackie regained his composure. "against - against bloody all of us!" he said, voice slightly smaller. chase watched him blink rapidly in the mirror. "got into his head. convinced him he's the good guy here. now he's gonna come for the rest of us, and i won't let him! i'm the big brother, i have to -"

jackie suddenly gasped, clamping a hand over his mouth. the car swerved slightly, and both chase and henrik yelled in panic until they were back on track.

"do you want me to drive?" chase said uncertainly, letting henrik bury his face in his shoulder, shaking. "dude, if you just tell me where we're going, i can -"

"it's fucking fine, ok?" jackie growled. then he softened, seeing chase's face in the mirror. "we're - i'm taking us to the airport. we have to -"

"no!" both chase and henrik cried in unison. the two of them sat straight up and exchanged looks of panic. chase spoke up first. "jackie - stacy, the kids - i have shit to do here, my recording team, my family, i - i have the fucking kids tomorrow, jackie!"

"i - jackie - i -" henrik looked to chase for help, seemingly unable to speak. tears welled up in his eyes and he covered his face, breathing heavily.

"we can't leave," chase said firmly. "we can't just run, jackie. we have to get marvin back!"

"we can't!" jackie sobbed, and a car next to them honked as jackie ran a red light. "we fucking can't, there's no - we - i can't -"

"jackie!" chase suddenly screamed. "what do you think jamie would say?"

they all went dead silent aside for the bumping of the car along the road.

"jamie's not here," jackie murmured. they saw him take a deep breath, trembling. "jamie upped and left us the second he got the fucking chance!"

jackie let out a pained scream, punching the dashboard over and over. "jamie didn't give a shit about the rest of us! jamie expected us to care for him after he ran away from anti, jamie took and didn't give, jamie endangered all of us and didn't give a shit in the end!"

"jackie - jamie is our brother!" chase said. "he was basically being abused, he was practically held captive!" henrik gave a small sob, and chase wrapped an arm around him protectively. "jackie, we - we know you didn't like him a lot, but he was hurting, he needed help!"

the car suddenly slammed to a stop, and chase and henrik both flew forwards, their seatbelts catching them. by the time they sat up again, jackie was already getting out of the car, clutching his head.

chase opened his door. "dude, what the fuck?"

"we're staying at a motel," jackie breathed quietly. he turned to glare at his brothers, eyes glowing softly. "is that ok by you? we can figure out what the hell we're gonna do inside. what say you, is that ok? does that sound like a plan?"

chase nodded frantically, too afraid to say a word.

"good. now let's go. inside, quickly."

-

the car came to the edge of the forest fifteen minutes after marvin called.

as much as he didn't like them, marvin had to admit that hecate were quick. the driver rolled down his window and waved as marvin stumbled over, carrying an unconscious anti bridal style. "hey-o!" the man in the front seat called, grinning. marvin didn't even bother to force a smile. "need some help with your friend there?"

the driver came out and opened the back door, helping marvin get anti inside. they were off as soon as they were settled, anti spread across the seats with his head on marvin's legs. he wasn't sure how he felt about that - no positive feelings, that was for sure - but anti was completely out of it, and there wasn't much else they could do. marvin supposed he was grateful that he wasn't awake enough to ask any questions about hecate.

there was no small talk. as soon as the driver pulled up outside nai's blomma magi - naomi's flower shop - marvin was out of the car and getting anti inside. the second he saw his friend's familiar figure, he almost fell from exhaustion. "nai," he sobbed, and let the driver take anti from his arms so marvin could collapse into naomi, wrapping his arms around her shoulders. "i'm so, so sorry for calling you so suddenly, i didn't know where else to go…"

"shh, you're alright," naomi soothed, holding marvin tightly. he felt her turn her head away, short brown hair tickling his face. "is this the, uh, the brother?"

he nodded, straightening and scrubbing at his face, embarrassed. "yeah, yeah," he mumbled, turning to the man who was lifting anti into his arms. "he's been hurt, i don't entirely know what happened, but… jackie basically tortured him or some shit, from what i've seen."

"good fucking god," naomi murmured. "jackie? the ginger-y one?"

marvin nodded, feeling more tears building up. "he - naomi, i don't know what's happened to him." he sniffed and wiped his eyes with his sleeve.

naomi bit her lip and beckoned for the other man to follow her upstairs. they left the shop and entered naomi's place, where marvin had been many times before. it was warm and bright, with almost as many plants as the florist's below. the walls were each painted pastel colours, some stained with dirt or sap from the various vines and things climbing them. there seemed to be more nature than there was furniture marvin loved it.

"bring him in here, lucas," naomi said, and marvin realized with a pang of guilt that he hadn't even asked the driver's name or thanked him for his help. just another strike to the "asshole marvin" list. "this is my spare room, not as much bullshit in here. i do hope he isn't allergic to pollen."

the room was rather small, probably why it was just the spare room, with one large window, peeling wallpaper and a bed next to piles of boxes. "for when my sisters come visit," naomi explained. "thank you, lucas. oh, marvin!" she gestured towards the man. "this is my friend lucas!"

the blonde flashed marvin a smile, and marvin gave an awkward grin that probably looked more like a grimace. "nice to meet ya," lucas said, in a strong southern accent.

naomi got down and fumbled through some boxes, which marvin took as a cue to take off his bag again and pull out his medkit. "this is all i've got," he admitted. "i don't think i've managed to help him a lot."

"it's ok, i've got stuff," naomi said, looking up at him and nodding. "lucas, can you get the white box from under the bathroom sink for us, please?"

"oh, sure, sure," he said as he left the room. as soon as he was gone, marvin raised an eyebrow.

"who's he?" he asked, completely casually.

naomi laughed. "a friend from hecate, calm your tits. if you'd stayed in the organization, you would've met him too."

marvin scowled, getting up and sitting on the edge of the bed. "whatever. if hecate stopped trying to steal my fucking magic that i found, then maybe i'd stay. but no, i'm not allowed to use black magic so it's their responsibility to take it from me… like they wouldn't just use it for themselves, the bastards."

"hey, remember i'm still with hecate," naomi warned. "we're not all like that."

anti suddenly cried out, shuddering and grabbing at the air. marvin turned to face him, holding his hands up to try and calm him.

"hey, just me," he said. "just me and my friend, you're - you're cool."

anti's eyes opened slightly. he looked at marvin, grinning nervously, and then his gaze landed on naomi.

it was like an instant switch. anti let out a strangled cry and pushed himself up, gripping the blankets and trying to get himself as far away as possible. marvin leapt to his feet as anti clawed at the air, trying to hit someone and emitting a loud static hum. "calm down, it's ok, she's not going to hurt you!"

it was of course at that moment that lucas came back into the room. "ok, i think i found - jesus christ, what is going on?"

anti snarled and tried to stand, but his legs immediately gave out beneath him and he collapsed against the door to the closet next to the bed. he sank to his knees, gasping and panting, glitching wildly. lucas dropped naomi's box to the end of the bed, mouth agape. "fuckin' hell, what's with this guy?"

marvin whipped round to face naomi. "did you not tell him anything?" he hissed.

"well, what did you want me to tell him, that your brother who you never talk about to anyone including me is some kind of glitchy demon?" she hissed back.

anti made a loud, angry noise from the floor, and marvin turned back to lucas. "you're magic, correct? anti's magic. just a different kind of magic."

"he's a demon?" lucas gaped, his glasses falling to the end of his nose. anti hissed, and marvin bent down next to him, rolling his eyes. "no, he's not a demon. he's human - i know, shocking. he sure doesn't fucking act like it." he directed this last part at anti, and anti, too weak to do much else, turned to growling and slowly signing death threats.

"why can't he talk?" marvin heard lucas ask naomi quietly, though not quietly enough that they didn't hear. at least he had the tact to try and stay silent. no one answered him.

marvin sighed. "anti, come on. let me help you off the floor, that can't be comfortable." he took one of anti's wrists, but anti gasped and scrambled back, holding his arms to his chest.

"excuse me, if i may," lucas said, pushing his way forward. "i think that maybe, uh, one of his wrists is broken?"

anti was still wearing marvin's jacket, but under the sleeves, marvin could see how bruised his right arm was. "fucking hell," he muttered. "we - we can't exactly go to a hospital for this, can we."

as if on queue, anti glitched and howled in pain.

marvin stood, head spinning with panic. he looked at naomi and lucas for a moment, wondering if he should do what he wanted to do. "shit, i…" he hesitated. "i need to go find my brothers. make sure they're ok. they should be back at the house by now, i think they were out earlier - lucas, can i borrow your car?"

lucas looked startled. "i -"

"good, great, thanks." marvin clapped lucas on the back as he passed him, clicking his fingers as he opened the door. "get anti off the floor and back onto the bed if you can. maybe try and get ahold of a hecate doctor if you can, nai, we'll -"

"wait, you can't just - you can't just leave us with him!" lucas shouted. "what do we do?"

naomi clapped a hand on lucas's shoulder. "it's ok, we'll look after him. but pye, i'm… i'm a more lower class magician, i don't have access to all of hecate. i mean, i'll - i'll do my best, ok?" she bit her lip. "you go find your brothers."

marvin nodded, and smiled as he left the room.

-

henrik had never stayed in a motel before. chase had a few times, when he was traveling with his family, so when he told henrik that this was the shittiest motel possibly ever, henrik was inclined to believe him.

"these sheets are gross," chase whispered, causing henrik to snort from his place on the other bed. he'd calmed down significantly, though he was still scared for marvin. anti had done so many horrible things to henrik during his two months stay with him; keeping him in that dark room for weeks on end, feeding him whatever anti happened to have on hand that day (which was sometimes nothing), hitting him whenever he talked back or stepped out of line. the scariest part of their time together was that while anti constantly threatened to cut henrik open with his knives or tear his eyes out and make him eat them, he never did. henrik spent most of his time alone, feeling claustrophobic and terrified, waiting for anti to come hurt him. he didn't want to go through that ever again, and despite his dislike for marvin, didn't want him to have it happen to him either.

chase flopped down next to henrik, causing him to tense up until chase smiled and rested his head on henrik's chest, sprawling across the bed. "well, this is certainly a fun adventure, isn't it?"

they both knew it wasn't. marvin was missing and despite chase's casual demeanor, henrik could tell he was scared out of his mind but hiding it for his sake. he softened, curling up with his brother and hugging himself. "very fun, absolutely."

suddenly, the door flew open and they heard jackie stomp inside. they both tensed, and henrik's hand found chase's in an instant. jackie stormed into the room from the hall, red faced and furious. "what the fuck are you doing?" he yelled, towering over the two of them. henrik let out an embarrassing whimper and pushed back into the headboard.

chase was braver than henrik. he scoffed, sitting up and glaring. "we're just sitting here, dude, calm the fuck down! you're scaring us, what is wrong with you?"

jackie just stood there, breathing heavily. his eyes were rimmed with red. henrik noticed he was wearing a strange black necklace; the thing he'd been holding in the car, he realized.

"i'm sorry," jackie said, very softly. he blinked rapidly, letting out a shuddering sigh. "really, i - i don't…"

he trailed off. henrik kept his eyes on the necklace. it seemed to be emitting a sound.

chase sighed loudly. "can you talk to us now?" he asked gently. "please? you've been acting… so strange, what's -" he paused, and henrik squeezed his hand. "- is it just because of marvin? i'm sorry you had to see... whatever happened to him. can you try and tell us? he's our brother too, jackie."

jackie mumbled something henrik couldn't hear.

"what did you -"

"marvin is a fucking traitor!" jackie suddenly screamed, his eyes ablaze with burning light. the necklace on his chest let out a high pitched screeching noise that made the brothers curl into each other, terrified. "marvin left us for anti, marvin doesn't care!"

henrik covered his face, panic bubbling in him. chase held him closely, protectively. "dude, what are you on about? if marvin's with anti, it's because he's hypnotizing him, you know that!"

jackie laughed, almost hysterically. "you don't fucking get it!" he giggled. "god, you don't - you don't fucking understand, he's going to take all of us away, gonna make us his fucking puppets!"

henrik couldn't breathe. he tried to calm himself by stroking the soothing denim material of his jacket, but his fingers were going numb with fear and his head was spinning, tears pricking his eyes. chase noticed. "jackie, stop it! you can't just say that shit, you know it freaks henrik out - why are you being such a dick? we lost marvin too!"

"he was my brother!" jackie screamed, and there was something wrong with his voice - it was doubling over itself, like his voice was being multiplied. "he was mine to look after, but he took him, anti took him, that bastard, he tries to fucking destroy everything i love, from the very first day of my existence to now!"

there was a long moment of tense silence.

"jackie," chase said, too quietly. "what - what is that necklace you're wearing?"

henrik looked up again to see. the necklace was smoking, black clouds rising in front of jackie's face. if he didn't know any better, he'd say that the light in jackie's eyes had been replaced with this darkness too.

jackie grinned widely. "just to protect you guys," he said under his breath. henrik strained to hear him. "i'm doing it all to protect you."

henrik didn't dare to breathe.

chase sat up, letting go of henrik for a brief moment. "jackie," he said, and henrik was awed by how steady his voice was. "me and henrik are going back home. we're going -"

without warning, dark plumes of smoke shot from the necklace, and jackie raised a hand to control it in a steady stream directed towards chase. henrik screamed as the shadows lifted chase up, gasping and choking, and threw him back down onto the soft carpeted floor. jackie contorted his face in anger, his eyes and hand now pure black, darkness spreading from his face. as henrik watched, the blackness retracted into him like a video playing in reverse, and jackie casually cracked his neck as his eyes returned to their normal dark blue. chase scrambled back, wheezing and grabbing at his neck, staring at jackie with horror in his eyes.

"no," jackie said softly. "you're not."

he turned to look at henrik, who nearly passed out right then and there. he was beginning to feel extremely lightheaded, probably from the lack of oxygen due to his panic. jackie tilted his head and closed his eyes, breathing deeply. the tension in the room could be cut through with a knife.

"you both are going to stay right here, in this room," jackie murmured, not moving. "where i can look after you and keep you safe."

his hoodie pocket began to move, like something was trying to get out. henrik stared, wide eyed, as two of jackie's MAAS bots emerged from his pocket, green and black with blinking blue lights in the centre. their tails swished as they flew up to the ceiling, looking down on the brothers.

"no one's going to take you away," jackie said, watching the bots float upwards. "i'm going to keep you safe."

[looking-for-another-world]

Not Alone

summary: Bucky spends Christmas alone at the compound. Or nah?

pairing: Bucky x reader

warnings: 18+, tiny bit of angst, mentions of family toxicity, cursing, explicit smut, dirty talk, like one allusion to reader being plus-sized, soft!bucky, really sappy - you have been warned

words: 6321

a/n: This is my entry for @honeyhan-123​‘s HOLIDAY SPIRIT WRITING CHALLENGE. I had the prompt “Finding the perfect Christmas tree / decorating it” and looking back, I might have slightly diverted from that oops. This was so much fun to do though. This is literally my first finished piece of writing in years, so be nice to me, ok? Right, tmi. Anyways, this has gotten way out of hand in terms of how many words I wanted to write. I might make 3 separate files of it when I’m in the mood to figure out links, but for now here’s the entire fic in one. Enjoy! Also, I hope your 2020 is going to be amazing ❤💫🥂🎆

Prologue

As soon as Bucky stepped into the kitchen of the Avengers compound, his super soldier senses made the hair on the back of his neck stand up. Something’s wrong.

It was Dec 23, one day before Christmas Eve, and everyone except him had gone away for the holidays. Clint was visiting Laura and the kids, accompanied by Natasha (apparently, the boys had been nagging their mom for a solid 2 months whether Aunt Tasha would be staying with them), Wanda and Vision were traveling around Europe, Tony had taken Pepper to some little island in the Caribbean Sea, and Steve and Sam had booked a cozy, remote cabin in the woods to go skiing, hiking, getting drunk (well, Sam at least) and most importantly, getting away from being the Avengers for a few days.

Initially, Steve had Friday book the trip for three persons, but Bucky had refused. This was the first Christmas since many years that he was starting to remember who he was, really was, and although Steve was pretty much everything he considered home, he had preferred to spend Christmas where he actually came from.

In the end, Steve had reluctantly agreed, not wanting to push his best friend, but insisting that they at least spoke to one another on the phone every day. And so, Bucky had spent his day wandering the streets of Brooklyn for hours, fulfilling his best friend duty on his way home and telling Steve how much everything had changed and yet, strangely, still felt familiar. He could hear Steve smile through the phone; he felt the same. That’s when Sam had burst through the door of the hut, screeching “All I want for Christmas is you” next to Steve’s ear and ruining the moment. Steve had said his goodbye, leaving to stop Wilson from inhaling another bottle of Eggnog, and Bucky had wished him good luck with the bird brain. He returned to the compound, more mentally than physically exhausted, and headed straight to the kitchen, suddenly remembering that he hadn’t eaten something in hours. And there it was: A small puddle of water on top of the counter, as if someone had taken something out of the fridge and put it there for a moment. Only that there was no one to do that. He was supposed to be alone.

It couldn’t have been him: his soldier and assassin training had left him with an urge to leave everything neat and tidied; no traces. Silently, he made his way back into the hallway, calling the elevator and going two levels down, to the first level that was officially “Avengers territory”. Going back up, he searched every floor without coming across anything suspicious. And then, as the doors of the elevator opened to the 18th floor with a slight swoosh, he sensed it: There’s someone else on this level. He tensed up. His super soldier hearing going into overdrive, he snuck along the dimly-lit corridor until he heard them: sounds coming from the last room to the left, the entertainment room, stacked up with books, movies, consoles, a pool table, anything you could think of to pass your free time. He tried to hear more intently. The person on the other side of the door barely produced sounds; all he could make out was their shallow breathing. Someone with a normal hearing wouldn’t even have caught up on it.

Bucky conjured up a blueprint of the room: even if he could get through the door unnoticed, there was no place to hide. The whole design of the room practically screamed: “Look who’s coming!” His only advantage was the element of surprise. Trying to calm down his nerves, he took a few deep breaths and braced himself. Not wanting to have his arms in a position he could easily be taken hold of in, he stepped back, raised his right leg and kicked the door down, storming inside, met by a piercing scream and a loud splash as the bucket of ice cream you had been holding met the ground.

“(Y/N)?!”

“What the hell?!”

“Why are you here?”

“I fucking live here in case you haven’t noticed! Why are you kicking the goddamn door down like I’m some HYDRA agent trying to slit your throat?”

“Because-”, Bucky stops, guilt washing over him. Guilt and anger with himself. Even HYDRA wouldn’t be so dumb as to blow their cover like that, and they’d do a bit more than get the kitchen counter dirty if they wanted to make their presence known. “Because I thought you were one.” His voice is low now, almost a whisper, his eyes unable to meet yours, fingers fumbling with the hem of the coat he didn’t have time to take off. And seeing him like this, you understood: He thought someone had intruded.

You let out the breath you were holding. “I’m sorry, Buck. I wasn’t thinking. I should have let you know about my change of plans and that I’d be spending Christmas at the compound.”

His ears perked up at that. “You are? I thought you were going to visit your family.” You smiled sadly and now that his mind and body weren’t overtaken by adrenaline anymore, he took in your state for the first time. You looked pale, your eyes red-rimmed, like you had been crying. You were wrapped in the navy-blue blanket twice your size that Wanda had given you for your birthday. It went all the way down to your ankles where the legs of your sweatpants were peeping through, showing just a small stripe of skin before the fabric of a pair of green fuzzy socks covered your skin again. The ice cream you had dropped started melting on the ground, slowly dampening part of the expensive rug the pool table stood on, which you didn’t seem to notice. “What happened?”

You let out a mixture between a snort and an unconvincing laugh. “I talked to my mom on the way to the airport. She started complaining about how much I’ve been letting them down this year, bringing up things I didn’t even think were an issue anymore, and how she hoped I would pull myself together this time, for the sake of Christmas and our family. So, I figured I’d probably have a more fun time being alone in my room and sleeping for like 2 weeks than I’d have being with them.” The last part was meant to sound casually, but Bucky didn’t miss the twitch of your lips and how your eyes started to gloss over again. He wanted to say something to comfort you, but his mind didn’t know where to start and so he just kept staring at you wordlessly, which you took as a sign of annoyance.

“Don’t worry. I won’t bother you with that shitty Christmas music or candy or anything of that kind. I’m not gonna ruin your alone time. Just pretend I’m not here.”

He frowned at that, then, and as his tongue still seemed to be tied, he did the only thing he felt was appropriate: He put your arms around you and hugged you, hard, all-consuming. “I’m not worried you’re going to ruin my alone time. I like having you around. I’m sorry your family are like that, when they’re the ones letting you down.”

You’d liked to reply to that, thank him for his sweet words, but you were sure you’d start crying again the second you stopped biting down on your lip. So you reciprocated the hug as best as you could; after all you were lacking Bucky’s strength. Bucky squeezed you shortly and let go, and when your eyes locked again, you couldn’t help but mirror his warm smile. Jesus, this guy certainly made you feel things. No surprise you were crushing on him so hard.

“We’d better clean this up”, Bucky said gesturing to the now empty ice bucket head and your eyes widened as you noticed the mess you’d made. “Shit!”. Tony had spent an insane amount of money on that carpet, even for his proportions. He’d shoot you to the moon for that.

“Don’t worry, I’ll take care of it.” Bucky jogged back to the elevator, returning a minute later with a wet cloth and a roll of kitchen towels which he handed to you. Getting to work, you suddenly became aware of how much closer than usually you two were. You could smell Bucky’s aftershave – something resembling cedarwood – watch the muscles in his arms flex as he tried to rid the fabric of its B&J make-over, study the stubble on his perfectly sculpted jaw, his hazelnut locks, his plump lips. Oh god, his lips. Just thinking about having those lips kiss every inch of your body got you worked up. Get a grip, for fuck’s sake!

“So you’re really planning on skipping Christmas? It’s your favorite holiday”, Bucky interrupted your thoughts, shooting you a glance to see you shrug your shoulders. “I don’t want to see my parents right now, and I can’t imagine celebrating Christmas on my own. So yeah, guess I’ll be taking a break from it this year.”

“You’re not on your own, though. You’re with me. We can celebrate.”

You felt a pleasantly warm sensation in your stomach which you tried to ignore, quirking an eyebrow at him instead. “You hate Christmas.”

“I don’t hate all of it, I hate what it’s become. I hate that most people care more about what useless shit is in their stockings or under the tree than about who they’re spending their time with. I hate how every shop starts putting up Christmas stuff before it’s even October. They don’t even call it “Christmas” anymore. I mean seriously, xmas? What’s that even supposed to mean?”

Despite yourself, a small giggle escaped you at how upset he could get about it all and realizing he had started ranting without wanting to, Bucky had to stifle a laugh as well. "Point I’m trying to make is ” he concluded “I wouldn’t mind spending Christmas with the right company.”

Oh, and that’s supposed to be me? Right company?“, you shot back. "Sure thing, doll. You’re like an expert on Christmas, I can’t go wrong with you. Also, I like having you around. ” He furrowed his eyebrows. “I’ve already said that, haven’t I?”

“Yeah, you have. But that’s okay, I like hearing it”, you laughed, your hand briefly touching his arm. You were becoming kind of needy, it appeared. Bucky didn’t seem to mind though, or at least he didn’t let it show.

Looking down, you noticed with an internal sigh of relief that the ice cream puddle had given way to the water and the kitchen towels. All that was left was a wet patch that would hopefully disappear overnight.

“Guess that’s as good as it gets”, you joked. “Thanks for helping me.”

“It’s the least I could do, after scaring the shit out of you.” He took the dirty towels from you. “Guess we’re Christmas buddies then” he grinned. It was surprising how excited he seemed to be all of a sudden, but you didn’t let yourself linger on that thought. “Well, as the official Christmas ambassador, I have to let you know that this place sucks. There’s not even decorations.”

That was true. The past weeks had been incredibly hectic, even more than in previous years, and since almost everyone would be gone over the holiday season anyway and Bucky had emphasized several times that having the tower turn into Santa’s village would most likely lift his dinner, rather than his spirits, Tony hadn’t bothered to put up decorations.

Bucky gave you an amused look. “I see you’re getting into it. Alright, what do we need?”

“You mean, like everything?”

“Yeah, like the ideal setting. Can’t be that difficult.”

You gave him a sceptical look. “Oh no, not at all. We just need the decorations, music, candy, ugly Christmas sweaters, stuff to bake cookies, a firepla-”

“Okay, okay, I take it back.” Bucky raised his hands in surrender. “This is too much. What’s the most important thing?”

“The tree”, you replied without thinking. “The tree is the most important, to me at least. When my dad used to tell me he’d be bringing the Christmas tree home tonight, I’d spend all day glued to the window of my room, waiting for his car to steer into the driveway. It’s the one thing we ever did as a family, all three of us, decorating the tree. Everything else would be pretty much Mum and me, since Dad would be out working. The tree is … it just wouldn’t feel like Christmas without it.”

Inadvertedly, your brain had walked down memory lane to pictures of baubles in gold and red and purple and every color of the rainbow, mingled with the scent of fir and your dad’s bass voice singing “Have yourself a merry little Christmas” to you while you were sitting on your lap, and suddenly another wave of sadness hit you and you had to fight back the tears that were starting to well up again. You swallowed thickly before looking back at Bucky and were met with an understanding look. He had noticed your struggle but chose not to bring it up again and you were grateful for that. Grateful for him.

There were a few beats of silence before the super soldier offered you a tentative smile and said: “So Christmas tree is your final answer?” Another giggle.

"That’s my final answer.”

Part 1

You woke up to a sky the color of granite. Gloomy light and heavy clouds. Your heart jumped a little in your chest at the prospect of another downfall of snow. What’s Christmas without snow, right? Too comfortable to get up right away, you snuggled back into your pillow and let your mind wander.

It was embarrassing, really, but thinking about spending the whole day with Bucky filled you with a mix of anticipation and nervousness you usually felt before first dates. Prior to your job interview last February, you had spent hours and hours hooked up on research about the people you might soon be working with – the fucking Avengers! -, but Bucky’s story, or at least what was known of it to the public, had fascinated and moved you the most. It was hard for you to wrap your head around how someone could endure the most appalling things you could possibly imagine, and that for decades. Someone like the ex-Winter Soldier could barely be human anymore, filled to the brink with hatred and disgust for the world and the people in it, that you were sure of. And then, when you got the job and got to know him – he was the exact opposite. Sure, he was careful and hard to read, especially at the beginning, but he was kind. He was funny. He was emphatic. He was a nerd. He was sweet. And when you moved in to the tower and the two of you spent more time together, your feelings towards him grew stronger, and you found yourself imagining waking up next to him, his lips on yours the first thing you taste in the morning. Cupping his cheek and watching his eyes crinkle when he flashes you his million-dollar smile. Stroking his hair while he reads his favorite passages out to you or rambles about how all the things he’s just discovering now are not quite as good as what they had back in the days, but some of them are not bad. Being pressed down by his weight as you get to explore all of his gorgeous body and find out what sounds he makes when he’s buried in you, filling you up, making you feel so good as you’re begging him not to stop because he’s hitting just the right spot and you never want to let go of him, so good, please Bucky, please don’t stop, oh God, I’m so close baby, fuck…

The loud buzzing of your phone jerked you out of your trance and made you sit up straight in your bed, your heartbeat thumping in your ears, cheeks heated, fingers you didn’t even remember putting there coated in your arousal. Breathing heavily, you stretched your neck to see who the caller was: Mum. Oh, hell no. In a sudden burst of resurging anger, you declined the call, threw your phone away from you and let yourself fall back against the headboard with an audible huff.

Finishing the job wasn’t going to happen after yesterday’s events started rolling in, so you forced yourself out of bed and into the shower, washing away the heat of your little daydream with water as cold as you could bear. Putting moisturizer on, you focused your thoughts on today. If Bucky still wanted to help setting up everything for Christmas, they should get started as soon as possible. An actual Christmas tree was a bit too much to ask obviously, but maybe they could find a fake one and some funny tree ornaments to go along with it? Sweaters shouldn’t be that much of a problem either, they practically threw them in your face around this time of the year. And the Christmas music could easily be taken care of by Spotify.

You started listing the essential ingredients for three or four kinds of Christmas cookies in your head when you left your room to get breakfast. Closing the fridge door, you tried to decide where and in which order to go to get everything you needed on time (or should you split up?) when you noticed the yellow, blue, pink and green dots on the cold metal surface, dancing around in a carefully studied rhythm like colorful fireflies. Frowning, you turned around.

The huge panorama windows were decorated with beautifully woven ice flowers up to almost half of their height and framed by several strings of Christmas lights, cheerfully blinking against the grey sky outside and bathing the living room area in a colorful hue. Now that you stepped closer, the living room looked different as well. The couches and armchairs were covered under thick and fluffy-looking plaids and pillows with different Christmas-themed motives; a very kind looking Santa Claus on one, a couple of reindeer holding cups of Eggnog and singing “Jingle Bells” on another and the slogan “Tis the season” in as much glitter as could be fitted on so small a space emblazoned on a third. There were decorations, too: a nutcracker next to the tv, an angel’s choir holding candles on one of the couch tables, a snowman, a sledge, a rocking horse, a squirrel in a scarf… You couldn’t even decide where to look first. Too preoccupied to take everything in, you didn’t notice Bucky’s presence until he cleared his throat. “Do you like it?” You turned around to meet him, dumbfounded and still trying to understand what was going on, even more so when you saw the sweater he was wearing: fir green and depicting a penguin wearing a Christmas hat. You let out an incredulous laugh. “Did- did you do all this?”

Bucky lowered his gaze briefly and gave you a sheepish smile. “Pretty much, yeah. I’d hoped you’d sleep in. Gave me enough time to set everything up.” Your mouth opened and closed, unable to find words. “I-“ “Wait!” he interrupted. “There’s more.” He outstretched a slightly shaking hand and seeing that you didn’t respond, hastily withdrew it. Finally though, your body and mind seemed to have rebooted, and you grabbed his hand with both of yours. It felt hot against yours, hot and slightly raw. Bucky shot a surprised look from your intertwined hands to your face and you could’ve sworn that his cheeks blushed slightly. Is this even real?

Squeezing your hands slightly, he walked past you and into the living room, pulling you with him. Around the corner, out of your line of sight, there was a slightly smaller lounging area with the best stereo sound system Tony could get his hands on and without tv, designed for the numerous occasions you fancied actually spending time with each other and being able to face each other when chatting or playing games instead of just staring at a huge screen in unison. Now though, the bean bags had been moved to the side and in the center of the room stood – a tree. Not just any tree, but a fir tree about 10 or 11 feet high, almost filling up the room with its size and emanating that unmistakable scent that always took you back to fond Christmas memories. Next to it, on the ground and on several of the bean bags Bucky had piled up a seemingly endless number of boxes containing Christmas baubles of all sorts, ranging from the traditional ones to typical Christmas motives, Disney characters, and even the most absurd things such as very small-sized fruits and vegetables.

You couldn’t remember when your heart had last felt so light and full. If Bucky’s hand hadn’t anchored you, you might have just floated up through the ceiling and into the sky. And why not? Who knew what else might be possible after all this had felt so much like a dream already? Giving yourself no time to think about overstepping boundaries and the like, you threw yourself into Bucky’s arms, feeling rather than noticing his strong arms instantly enveloping your frame. “Thank you.” Your voice was muffled because you had buried your face in the crook of his neck and because you were close to crying again. Sensing your state, Bucky started tracing soothing patterns on your lower back and mimicking his movements, your hands started stroking his broad shoulders. “My pleasure, doll.”

He held you like that for several moments, lightly swaying to and fro, taking deep breaths with you. And after a while, when you’d quieted down a bit, you noticed that not only your heart threatened to jump out of your chest; Bucky’s heart beat a lot faster as well, hammering against his ribcage so much that you could almost feel it against yours. You drew back a little so you could see his face and were met with a look you’d never seen on him before, a look that went straight to your groin. His hands tightened on your back, like he was afraid to let you go, and your nose lightly brushed his. And just as you were about to close your eyes… his phone rang.

The noise startled you so much that you jumped in his arms and Bucky let out an audible sigh. “That’ll be Steve. Be right back.” With that, he let go of you to grab his cell from the kitchen and you felt like someone had just emptied a bucket of ice water over you and snapped you back to reality. More than that, you did feel cold. Had your body grown used to the heat radiating off him so quickly? Also, and that was the most important: What the fuck did just happen?

Bucky returned about 10 minutes later and found you in almost the same spot where he’d left you, now sitting awkwardly on one of the empty bean bags, desperately trying to regain composure. His heart still fluttered from being so close to you, and as he wanted this day to be anything but awkward, he’d spent a good 7 of those 10 minutes away thinking about how to proceed. In a manner he hoped would come across as relaxed, he sauntered over to the closest bean bag and picked up one the boxes filled with baubles. “Soooo”, why was his voice so squeaky? “let’s get started, shall we?”

He couldn’t see your heart slightly sink in your chest because the magical moment had officially passed of course; he just had eyes for the warm smile you offered him in return. “Sure.” You got up to take hold of one the boxes as well when he remembered something. “Hang on.” You raised your head and could make out something slightly mischievous in his orbs. “I won’t be the only one wearing an ugly Christmas sweater.”

—

4 hours later, any sign of awkwardness or discomfort between the two of you had officially gone to the wind. As instructed, you’d put on the ugliest Christmas sweater you could find (an awful mix of pink and gold in the shape of a Christmas elf with actual bells that jingled whenever you moved), Bucky had put on some music and you’d gone about your business. At some point (probably after your fourth cup of cocoa with rum and Bucky’s third pint of Asgardian mead he’d snatched from Thor’s quarters), you decided to forego any sense of aesthetics and just put up as many ornaments as would fit on the tree. As a result, it now looked as if the slightest gust of wind would make it collapse on the spot, but you two were oddly proud of your work. Taking cocoa and mead with you, you decided to have a small break and moved over to the living room area.

There were a few beats of comfortable silence, Sinatra softly buzzing in the background. Then, out of the blue, Bucky asked you to tell him your favorite joke. You were too tipsy to question how he’d come up with that, so you pondered his request for a moment and then answered. “I hate Russian dolls. They’re so full of themselves.”

Bucky sat up on his spot of the couch and gave you an odd stare that made you wonder whether he’d understood you at all, and then burst out of laughter, almost spilling his drink in the process and making you laugh in return. You’d never really heard his laugh, just the occasional snort when he deemed something worthy of a reaction, but this was a sound made from the gods themselves and you could listen to it all day, every day, for the rest of your life.

Slowly, his fit came down to a low, melodious chuckle. “Honestly doll, sometimes I want to kiss you all over.” “Don’t hold back.”

The words had come out of your mouth before you could stop them. They didn’t remotely sound as teasing or nonchalant as you had meant them to. They sounded sincere, almost desperate. Because they were. And suddenly, as you watched Bucky’s expression falter, you felt remarkably sober again. Oh god.

Part 2

Carefully, Bucky stood up, moved over and sat down next to you. “Are you serious about this, (Y/N)?”

Heat crept up your skin, all the way from the swells of your breasts to your ears. You’d honestly never felt that put on the spot. Unable to answer, your gaze fixed the carpet, hoping that if you stared long enough, maybe it would do you a favor and swallow you whole. Bucky was now less than inch from you, close enough for you to smell his shampoo, his breath fanning the side of your face, making things only worse for you. Your heart sank deeper and deeper until you could feel it in your stomach, heavy like a rock. This day had been going so well. Why did you have to ruin it with your stupid inebriated brain? Stupid, stupid, stupid.

And then you felt his flesh hand cup your face, softly turning your head to meet his eyes. Those beautiful, cerulean eyes. “Because I’d really, really like to kiss you.” Frowning, you shook your head, your synapses refusing to process that bit of information. You swallowed several times before you found your voice again. “Please don’t mess with me, Bucky”, you heard yourself whisper, at which Bucky violently shook his head. “I promise.” And then his lips were on yours and you kissed him back.

It started out innocently enough, slow, tentative kisses, allowing the other to back out in case they changed their mind. Only that he didn’t back out like you thought he would. And you didn’t back out like he thought you would. Realizing how effortlessly your mouths pressed against each other, how right his lips felt on yours, you gradually grew bolder. You turned slightly to mirror his position and your hands went up to his face, feeling the stubble on his chin and jaw before carding through the silky strands of his locks at the back of his neck. One hand in his hair, you let the other explore more of his body as you felt up his biceps, his back, his chest abs. A content hum escaped his throat which only spurred you on. One hand in his hair and one bunching up the fabric covering his chest, you pressed yourself closer to him. His grip on your face tightened as he opened his mouth and his tongue caressed your bottom lip. Greedily, you welcomed him in your mouth and let out a deep sigh as your tongues met for the first time and the two of you fought for dominance over the other.

Bucky’s hands wandered down your body to the hem of your shirt and his lips soon followed suit. You let out a whimper when he sucked at the sensitive skin of your pulse point, determined to mark you. You’d never really liked hickeys, but this was different. You wanted everyone to see, see what had happened between the two of you. While your hands tangled in his hair, his slowly made their way under the fabric of your sweater, exploring the soft skin of your hips, your waist, your belly, cool on your right side, burning on your left.

It was so much more than you’d ever dreamed of, almost too much to bear, and yet his touches only made you more impatient, more needy, more desperate to have him. “Bucky…” It was barely more than a sigh, but Bucky’s head shot up at the sound and his eyes met yours. “What’s it, sweetheart? Talk to me” You took a moment to take him in, tracing his glistening bottom lip with your thumb. “I need you.” Bucky pressed his forehead against yours. “I need you too, doll. So much. That’s why I’m so scared of messing up with you.” You took his face in your hands again and pressed a kiss to his forehead, his eyes closing at the sensation. “There’s no way in hell you can mess up with me, James. Don’t hold back. Take me.” Bucky let out a shuddering breath. “Please.”

It was like a switch had been flicked. Bucky leapt forward and buried you under his weight, making you sink into the soft cushions. Kissing you even more passionately than before, he positioned himself between your legs. The bulge in his pants now clearly noticeable, he started grinding down on you and the friction made you pool with lust. You let out an audible groan that made Bucky’s cock twitch. Steadying himself with his metal hand, he clumsily lifted your shirt up your body with his right hand so the fabric bunched up over your breasts. Eager to assist, you arched your back to unclasp your bra and pulled it up as well. Bucky’s hand immediately reached out to palm the newly exposed skin while his tongue darted out to massage your already swollen buds. He went from left to right and right to left, making you stick your chest out as much as you could, before suddenly taking one nipple into his mouth and sucking greedily on it. You cried out in pleasure and his dark eyes went to scan your face, lip drawn in between your teeth, eyes pressed shut, your breathing getting heavier by the minute. Too mesmerized by the sight of you, he didn’t notice your hand that wasn’t tangled in his hair move from his back to the front of his pants until you massaged his erection through the fabric, running your palm up and down his impressive bulge. He let go of your breast to take a deep breath and used his right hand to feverishly rub your clothed pussy, causing you to yelp in surprise. Your hand gripped his wrist, urging him to slow down. “Don’t want to finish off like that. Need you inside me.”

Bucky’s answer was an appreciative growl. He stood up, freeing himself first from the sweater that was becoming increasingly hot and then from his jeans and boxers. His size was impressive, the tip swollen and glistening with pre cum and you couldn’t help but rub your thighs together in anticipation.

“Uh-uh. Let me take care of that sweetheart.” His voice was now a husky whisper that sent shivers down your spine. Agonizingly slow, he unbuttoned your pants and pulled them off you, groaning when he got a glimpse of your drenched panties. Sitting back on his haunches, he pushed your knees apart and ran his palms up the inside of your thighs, then softly ghosted over the purple cotton, before hooking his thumbs under the waistband. “Show me your pretty pussy, (Y/N).” In one swift motion, the piece of clothing was gone, and Bucky let out a low hiss at the sight of your wet folds. “Fuck, doll. You’re ven more beautiful than I imagined.” You were at a complete loss for words, but Bucky didn’t give you time to respond anyway. He took a hold of his erection and coated in in your juices, your overstimulated body jumping at the sensation, before locking eyes with you and carefully sliding his tip inside you. You both let out a needy whimper when he filled you up, going deeper and deeper, your pussy obediently swallowing him, until he bottomed out.

Bucky was still on his haunches, giving you time to adjust to him, intertwining his fingers with yours. “You okay?” You nodded. “You can move.” Bucky started thrusting in and out of you, accelerating his pace when it became obvious that you were in as much pleasure as he. Soon, he was mercilessly fucking you into the couch, snapping his hips forward and pulling out until just the tip remained inside you, and then repeating his actions, over and over and over again. When he used his metal hand to draw circles on your clit, you were a whimpering mess beneath him, uttering incoherent curses and multiple variations of his name. You felt the familiar sensation build up in your gut and squeezed his hand to hold off, but he wasn’t having it, only increasing his efforts. With a muffled scream, you came all over his dick, your whole body shaking from the intensity of it. The sight of you coming undone combined with your cunt convulsing around his dick pushed Bucky over the edge as well and his thrusts became sloppier as he painted your walls with his seed and then collapsed on top of you, both of you panting and bathed in sweat.

—

Your second time together was slow and gentle, taking all the time you now knew you had, making sure to leave no inch of your lover’s body unattended to. The third time was rough again, Bucky fucking you against the shower tiles, cold water pouring down on you because you’d accidentally changed the setting when Bucky had lifted you and neither of you had noticed. The times that followed took place in various places of the Tower; the pool table where Bucky had found you the day before, the kitchen island, Sam’s bed (which seemed to give him a particular kind of satisfaction), in several of Tony’s cars, at one of the panorama windows, your front against the shining outline of the city (and the fake ice crystals) while Bucky took you from behind, all the while whispering sinful things to you that drove you insane, how often he’d sat in his room fucking his fist to your image, your plump lips that were just made for his cock, your curves that made your entire body jiggle when he drove into you, that beautiful ass of yours, imagining your sweet voice begging him to make you feel good. After all, it appeared he’d thought about you as often as you had about him.

—

You woke up to a rose-tainted sky and soft kisses peppered across the back of your neck, your shoulders and along your spine. You giggled into your pillow. Bucky’s strands brushing your bare skin gave you a tickling sensation. “You’re up early.” Bucky hummed into the crook of your neck, making your skin vibrate. “There’s something I wanted to talk to you about before heading out for my run.” You turned around to face him, his hair tousled, eyes still glossed over from sleep. Nobody should be allowed to look that gorgeous. “What is it?”

“Steve and Wilson will be back from their trip in a few hours and they will pester me about my crush on you and whether I’ve finally done something about it.” He rolled his eyes and your smile grew wider. “What are you going to tell them?” Bucky reached for your hand and gently squeezed it. “I’d like to tell them that I asked you out on a date and that you agreed, but that wouldn’t be entirely true, would it?” You quirked an eyebrow. “So you’re asking me for permission to lie to your best friend?” Bucky laughed at that, that kind of laugh that made his eyes crinkle. “Y/N, would you like to go out on a date with me?”

You tilted your head to the side. “Depends. Does that mean we’re gonna have to sleep in separate beds again?” Bucky raised your hand to his mouth and softly kissed your knuckles, then he stretched his head and planted a kiss on your forehead. “No way. What do you say?”

“Yes.”