#being gay isnt a sin darlings

[briefblueseason]

Look not at our sins, O Lord, but at the faith of your queers.

[all-da-fandoms]

okay so here it is

if you haven’t yet look at the discord part of the story. HERE

putting it under the cut because it’s long

Girlfriend: Also other news that is actually good. Mikey is okay with me being poly

Logan: That's good

Religious Mom (Will be refered to as Mrs.Kendra): Poly?

Girlfriend: And crap ive got to go. (Im legit hiding in my parents room while my mother is upstairs)

Mrs.Kendra: Joshua 24:15

Gf: Im pretty sure i memorized that verse in bible quizzing a few years ago.....

Mrs.Kendra: Good luck best wishes

Mrs.Kendra: A little reading for you

Nat: No it's not

Nat: It's her mom

Nat: Thanks for this Miss it gives new insight to what your beliefs are much more clearly

Mrs.Kendra: Yes mans law will never undo God's law

Nat: Okay

Gf: So what kind of church do you go to?

Gf: My family goes to a Pentacostal apostolic church.

Mrs.Kendra: And gives a bunch of pretors to pray on my child Predators

Mrs.Kendra: I go to the only true church

Nat: My parents go to a Catholic church

Gf: And that is??? Ma‘am i have to say you very vague. My family believes that the whole bible is true. Holiness, worship, prayer, the whole package.

Mrs.Kendra: Okay I am not give more to use against my daughter

Mrs.Kendra: I believe the whole bible is true

Mrs.Kendra: But a sin is a sin

Nat: What did we do?

Mrs.Kendra: Swearing taking the Lords name in vain

Mrs.Kendra: Talking about being gay or transgender

Nat: Taking about it is a sin?

Nat: I was not aware of this

Mrs.Kendra: Talking about master bating (That has never ever been brought up in our chat)

Mrs.Kendra: (Proceeds to use google hangouts stickers saying LOL and BRB)

Gf: You know.... you are supposed to love those who walk in darkness. For showing the love of Christ could show them the love that many are searching fr in homosexuality and itcould turn them to the truth

Mrs.Kendra: Talking about being poly

Nat: Who talked about masturbating?

Mrs.Kendra: Yes but I am not supposed to support the sin

Mrs.Kendra: And let them drag my daughter down

Nat: No one is dragging your daughter down

Mrs.Kendra: I know

Gf: I hope you are aware that being poly just means you have feelings for more that one person being poly has nothing to do with sexual sin.

Mrs.Kendra: Yes in the Bible it says you should not look anyone else beside your spouse

Mrs.Kendra: If you do it is adulterous

Nat: What if all adults consent?

Mrs. Kendra: No

Gf: What about when you date someone? Is not alright to love them?

Gf: Nat shush.

Mrs.Kendra:You should not be having sexual feelings till you are married

Gf: Are we not all human? And i never said anything about having sexual feelings, i meant romantic feelings.

Gf: I know that only Jesus was above sin.

Mrs.Kendra: I am not going to argue with you. And Jesus is not above sin he was perfect

Mrs.Kendra: My Heavenly Father also a perfect person

Gf: Was? isnt he still alive? I mean easter is just around the corner

Mrs.Kendra: Yes he is

Gf: Ohhh so you believe in the trinity.

Mrs.Kendra: I do not believe.

Mrs.Kendra: I know that I have a loving Heavenly Father

Mrs.Kendra: And a Brother who loved me so much he died for my sin and yours

Mrs.Kendra: That does not give us a free pass to sin

Mrs.Kendra: We should try to be like him

Mrs.Kendra: It is through him we can be forgiven

Gf: What about the holy ghosts?

Mrs.Kendra: I have the Holy Ghost with me always, and I won't have my daughter losing that gift because of others choices

Mrs.Kendra: That's why I am cutting all interactions with this group

Gf: Others choices?

Mrs.Kendra: Tell her sins are no longer sins

Gf:And why do you think that we are bad influences? I mean all of us here are Christians excepting Natalie who is Catholic.

(this actually isn't true I'm egnostic but we're ignoring that.)

Mrs.Kendra: May you pray and turn to your father in Heaven and not pray on those who have faith. My faith is stronger than what you tell her

Mrs.Kendra: Catholic is Christian

Mrs.Kendra: I am not catholic

Mrs.Kendra: But you tell her gay and transgender is okay

Gf: We dont tell her anything.

Mrs.Kendra: I believe in love the person not the sin

Gf: We simply except who everyone is.

Mrs.Kendra: Talk about masterbating

Gf: I still dont what you are talking about for that one.

Mrs.Kendra: These things we don't do in my home

(This is where I come in, now remember I get protective when my friends and partners are involved)

Me: Oh hey mam

Mrs.Kendra: I have transgender friends but we do not make that the topic of every conversation. He knows my stand on it. I love him do I support him doing it I will tell him

Me: Good to see you again

Gf: What does your daughter think? There is a verse "fathers do not provoke your children to wrath."

Mrs.Kendra: I don't. Also honor thy mother and thy father

Mrs.Kendra: That's before killing

Gf: We don't do that either.

Mrs.Kendra: Honor mothers and fathers I can tell

Mrs.Kendra:I love my parents actually and respect them to the uttermost

Mrs.Kendra: I except everyone but telling me what I believe is wrong isn't right . So who is wrong

Gf: We actually pray together at least once a day.

Gf: No one is telling what you believe is wrong

Nat: No one said what you believe is wrong

Mrs.Kendra: Lying I have been through weeks of chat on here

Gf: And what did you gather from going through your daughter's private things?

Mrs.Kendra: Kendra does not need lies reinforced. A sin is a sin has been and always will be. I see everybody taking the Lords name in vain

Mrs.Kendra: I gather that when she was 10 her teacher was gunned down by his own son because he was on drugs and he killed his dad brother and mother

Me: Privacy hun

Me: Yeah? Well what makes you think she'll do the same?

Mrs.Kendra: None because I will not have her ruin her life

Mrs.Kendra: No because that family looked perfect

Gf: What do you mean? A teacher's son?

Gf: No family is perfect ma'am

Mrs.Kendra: I KNOW I don't want her to run into the wrong crowd

Me: You have no faith in your daughter

Gf: All we try to do for Kendra is make her feel safe and happy.

Mrs.Kendra: I have no faith in people

Me: And yet you put all your faith in an omnicent being

Mrs.Kendra: That's right

Me: Thats

Gf: Chris....

Me: Disgusting

Me: What?

Me: No faith

Me: In people dani

Me: No

Me: I just

Mrs.Kendra: Making my point

Me: Okay

Me: I'm calm

Me: Dani

Me: Your turn

Dani: We arent tearing into anyones religion

Mrs.Kendra: Does this girl pray with you

Dani: Kendra? If she ever wanted to i would be happy to pray with her

Me: Same here

Dani: And i do pray for all my friends

Nat: It's never come up but I wouldn't deny it

Dani: Almost daily

Mrs.Kendra: Christina what about you who do you pray to?

Me: Christina? Who's that?

Mrs.Kendra: You

Me: That's not my name

Me: I'm Christopher

Mrs.Kendra: 😂

Me: What are you laughing at?

Me: I'm telling the truth

Mrs.Kendra: You have already showed yourself

Me(Trying to avoid screaming at this woman): Dani?

Dani: ? What is that supposed to mean?

Me: Input?

Mrs Kendra: You showed me a picture to prove you were 15

Dani: Are you talking about how feminine Chris looks? Becuase thats kinda insulting

Mrs.Kendra(Who acts like they don't know I'm trans): He is a girl

Dani: I know a few guys with hair longer than mine

Mrs Kendra: So he is a she

Mrs Kendra: No he doesn't look like a girl

Mrs Kendra: He is a she

Mrs Kendra: He has breast

(At this point I was gone, picking out an urn for my dead dog, knowing this was handled by Dani, I did look once in a while though)

Dani: He isnt. He is a he.

Dani: Just like i am a she.

Dani: And you are a she

Mrs Kendra: You are right I am a she

Nat: From the pictures I saw, you can't even see below the neck

Dani: Ive seen men that have chub that look like breast.

Mrs Kendra: What does it say on your birth certificate

Dani: Im pretty sure a 15 year old shouldn't have their own birth certificate

Dani: I know i dont have mine.

Mrs Kendra: They give you one when you are born

Mrs Kendra: But you know what it says

Nat: Mine is kept safe in a locked box

Dani: Yes but we don't actually keep in on us.

Dani: Mine to Nat.

Dani: Ive never actually even seen mine.

Mrs Kendra: My point

Dani: Is? Because honestly even if Chris was originally a girl, he sure isnt trying to convince Kendra to be transgender.

Mrs Kendra: But telling her it's okay to act on urges you have is not okay

Dani: What are you talking about? Urges?

Dani: So what do plan on doing?

Dani: Because if you cut off contact of people you'd have to keep her from going out. ever... She'll become depressed. Kill herself, then you'll have to life with the fact that your daughter is dead because you thought her salvation was more important than her life. Oh and i hope you know that while you think you're teaching her the 'way of salvation' you are actually jut emotionally and mentally abusing her into her your ideas, and beliefs

Mrs Kendra: You sound ignorant

(I come back)

Me: So do you

Me: Wow

Me: Shocker

Mrs Kendra: You are a child

Dani: No, i actually know how that feels. I did try to kill myself because i thought that my parents who abuse me mentally and physically and emotionally where the examples of God's love for me. I didnt want it,

Mrs Kendra: That's not why you tried to kill your self

Dani: Oh really? Do tell me why i was depressed and suicidal

Dani: Im dying to know.

Mrs Kendra: I am not getting into this with you

Dani: Why not?

(this is when Logan comes in, completely oblivious)

Logan: Hello, what have I missed?

Mrs Kendra: Because you are speaking of thing that are of the adversary

Me: Meet kendra's mom logan

Logan: Oh, hello!

Me: She doesn't like us darling

Logan: Oh, what a shame

Dani: Kendra's mother thinks that i tried to kill myself because of the devil. When actually its the almost weekly abuse from my family.

Mrs Kendra: Never said that

Me: You were implying it

Logan: Hm, sounds interesting

Mrs Kendra: I don't like you telling my child it's okay to give into every urge

Dani: You know ma'am you should know peoples stories before you assume things

Mrs Kendra: As should you

Dani: We don't, like drugs and drinks and smokes? Those are all things she shouldnt have.

Dani: As well as people that make her unhappy.

Mrs Kendra: My child's salvation is more important than swearing taking Lords name in vain

Logan: I dont tell her anything, if anything I try and stop her from doing stuff like that

Logan: I dont mean to be rude here, but have you ever thought that she doesn't like you forcing a religion on her?

Mrs Kendra: I don't

Nat: We never tell anyone to do anything they're not sure about

Dani: Kendra doesn't swear. If anything while shes on we all try to swear or take God‘s name in vain less.

Mrs Kendra: I have never made do anything in religion she doesn't want to

Mrs Kendra: She tells me she wants to

Dani: Thats exactly what your doing here though. Telling her she cant be friends with a couple of other teenagers because of her salvation

Me: But does she want this?

Mrs Kendra: Living in my house my rules

Logan: To make you feel better probably is why she says she wants to do stuff, and FYI Kendra actually tries to make us swear less

Mrs Kendra: So she can't talk to people she does not in(I don't get this one but whatever)

Mrs Kendra: You could be grown

Me: Wow

Me: This again?

Me: Are you a broken record?

Dani: Actually.... i thought she liked us. Also arent you not living in your own house?

Nat: Everyone here is either 16 or below

(She proceeded to send us this video)

Mrs Kendra: You say

Dani: What is that?

Logan: We've all video chatted so I'm sure she's certain I'm not that old

Mrs Kendra: Watch

Me: No.

Nat: What is it about

Dani: Tell me what is it 1st.

Dani: Because i trust Kendra but not you

Mrs Kendra: See left thinking

Mrs Kendra: So opened minded

Mrs Kendra: Until you might proven wrong

Me: We are more open minded then you

Logan: Wait hang on, how many people here have video chatted with me and can confirm I'm only (Logan's age)?

Mrs Kendra: No

Me: Me

Me: It's true

Mrs Kendra: That's right testify for each other

Logan: I'll gladly send a selfie to prove it, I'll send 20 if it'll make you feel better

Dani: Even though i cant video chat right now i will also send a selfie or like 5

Mrs Kendra: 20 pictures of (Logan's age) year old child

Mrs Kendra: No thanks

Logan: I take a lot of selfies

Mrs Kendra: Goodbye

Logan: Especially of my bowtie

Dani: Why? Cant handle that we are telling the turth that we are all teens?

Mrs Kendra: Yes lots of pictures of some child

Mrs Kendra: That's never happened

Mrs Kendra: Now goodbye

Logan: At least this child actually cares about kendra

Dani: I thought the reason you thought Chris was a girl was from the picture?

Dani: Yeah unlike you who seems to want her to end up in therapy.

Logan: Doesn't want her talking to the only people who she feels comfortable around

Nat: Oh and by the way. None of us would dare ever try to plan a meet up or anything of the sort.

Me: Yeah, I have way too bad paranoia

Logan: I'd probably back out cuz I'm to broke anyway

Dani: So Kendra's mother if you aren't just ignoring us by now. Are you going to ask your daughter what she thinks?

There, that’s it, tell me what you think, and did I handle it well?

[princesscolumbia]

These were obviously written by someone who doesn’t have children

Anonymous said:im genuinely happy for you that your coming out was able to help your parents and that you were accepted by them and the environment for you was a supportive one, i really am i promise theres no sarcasm here, but do try to remember that a LOT of us lgbt folk have homophobic parents who sadly dont learn from their kids being lgbt, and instead hate us, abuse us, disown us, etc. the reason people are upset is bc they feel like you're undermining that and saying the abuse is "worth it"

Anonymous said:but the point is that a parent learning a valuable lesson isn't worth their child's safety. why should an innocent young person end up risking their livelihood? the statistics of homeless queer youth prove that it's not worth the risk.

Anonymous said:gay kids are not a lesson for homophobic parents. homophobic parents abuse us, homophobic parents kick us out, homophobic parents get us killed.

Anonymous said:you have to understand that not all parents are like yours. most parents completely hate their gay/trans kids and would rather put them through conversion therapy or ignore their gayness/transness than accept their kid as they are. sometimes they would rather have a dead cishet kid than a living gay/trans kid. a gay kid having homophobic parents isnt a punishment for the parents; its a punishment for the kid.

All four of these came in nearly at once, and I suspect that they were all the same person, so I’m just going to address them all at once:

Honey, sweetie, darling child...your experience is not universal any more than mine is. When you focus on the headlines that are intentionally written to be sensationalist and rustle your jimmies, you develop the same tunnel-vision that cops do; you’re only going to see the worst in humanity.

Couple that with the above comments clearly coming from someone who isn’t responsible for preparing a child to face the big, wide world. Yes, there’s people who are such monumental cock-bites that you’d think they’re getting paid for it (my ex-wife’s family comes to mind) but the vast majority of parents are really just overgrown teenagers making shit up as they go along and wondering how their parents ever managed. They don’t know any better than the next person, and often they’re getting bad advice from well meaning people who know even less than they do, but they don’t know it’s bad advice and they don’t know the people dispensing it are the wrong people to ask in the first place.

My ex-wife is in for a world of pain when my daughter gets old enough to start dating. Why? Because our daughter is most likely gender-queer and is showing signs of being only attracted to women. She’s got friends that are boys, but has shown zero inclination towards “church approved” heterosexual attraction; meanwhile, she’s flat out told me that she likes girls. She’s a little young to make that determination for sure (heaven’s knows I didn’t really understand my own attractions until I was in my early 20′s, even if I was sexually active in my mid-teens), but I’m willing to bet with how early the women in my family start puberty that she simply has a clear idea what her orientation is already. My ex-wife drank the kool-aid that her family served about how LGBT people are all inherently evil and sinners. My ex-wife gets to have a wonderful little learning experience where she gets to grow as a person or lose her daughter.

That’s not going to be fun for either of them. Hell, it won’t be fun for me. (I’m not looking forward to being referee in that particular argument, and you know I’m going to be “blamed” for it) My daughter is going to get a chance to learn and grow from her figuring things out. My ex-wife is going to get a chance to learn and grow from our daughter figuring these things out. Neither of them gets to force the other to accept their opinion any more than you get to force my ex-wife to accept our daughter.

(Sidebar: For those who might be worried about the possibility of my daughter being sent to any sort of “conversion therapy” or some similar nonsense, there’s a clause in the divorce contract stating that I have full veto rights to any medical treatments our daughter is put through, and that includes anything like a “conversion camp” or similar. I didn’t know I’d be needing that clause for this purpose at the time, but I’m damn glad I fought for it)

Every parent of an LGBT kid has to learn, grow, and change once they find out that their child doesn’t fit into the mainstream. Most parents eventually figure it out and accept their child’s choice, if for no other reason than they know that said “child” is their own person and by the time the dust clears said person is over 18 and can do whatever the fuck they want and the parent either gets to play nice or never see that child again. This does NOT mean that ALL parents will learn that they should love their kids and grow their heart and mind, and when the parent chooses not to learn those lessons, that means they fail. They lose that connection with their child and deep down they know they screwed up. They’ll either learn and grow and get over it, or they’ll go to their grave knowing how badly they screwed up and be too stubborn to actually do anything about it.

Further, not everything a parent does that hurts the child is done to hurt the child. A well-meaning but clueless parent has just as much (if not more) to learn about their child’s orientation/gender-presentation as their child. These imperfect beings are usually doing their damndest to raise a kid, and now they are the odd-person out among their peer group, and all because of something that they have no control over. (Sound familiar?)

A good, christian, Republican father who thought he was raising three boys finds out he’s got two boys and a trans-girl is going to be so far out of his element he might as well be a pet store goldfish piloting a space shuttle. He has zero frame of reference and he’s just lost a son. He’s got to go through a learning process, he’s got to question everything he believes in, he’s got to go against the grain so hard that splinters are inevitable, he’s got to go through the grieving process, and he’s got to figure out how to love this changeling living in his son’s room. That is a LOT to go through, and it’s just as hard for him as it is for his son daughter.

Let’s take an opposite case: A...”good” (she’s trying real hard but keeps dropping the ball at the worst times through no fault of her own), atheist (as soon as she turned 18 she left her parent’s church and never looked back), Liberal single mother is told by her daughter (by a one-night stand during her brief stint in college...she’s not even sure who the father is) that her daughter is a lesbian and, by the way, her girlfriend’s parents kicked her out because their pastor said she was sinful and can she stay with them please? She now has to deal with a girl who’s legal status in the home is questionable at best, potentially abusive parents who will come over at any time to harass their daughter and the “heathen family of sinners” that “corrupted” their little girl, potential CPS investigations, and all this on top of having to completely scrap any hopes and dreams she had of her little girl finding a good man (preferably with a degree) to settle down with so her daughter doesn’t have to deal with the crap she did. Does she let them sleep in the same room? (They’re underage, after all, but since there’s no chance of pregnancy, does that matter, or is it the principal of the thing? Who the hell would she even ask about that?) How is she supposed to be there for her daughter (and possible live-in girlfriend) if she’s having to work 10 hour days 6 days a week? And let’s talk about the budget; she can barely afford two people, and now her daughter is asking to bring in a third?!

Both the parent and the child are going to do and say hateful, hurtful things. Usually, it’s without meaning to. If the parent is ACTUALLY abusive, then action gets to take place, most especially the child being removed from the abusive environment. The parent gets to have legal action taken against them, possibly including jail time for abusing a child.

tl;dr - The original post made a statement about how a kid being LGBT isn’t all about the parents. I simply made a statement that it also impacts the parents, and that is a good thing.